#so that's the pov i analyze it with
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“How d’you care so little?” Joel fumes, eyes ablaze as he paces around the shattered glass and splintered wood of his car. It's pretty well decimated, and he's been growling and frothing about it in Gem's ear for an hour now.
She prods testily at the soft, upturned earth carefully covering their pitfall. “It's not that I don't care,” she huffs, jumping back when the dirt crumbles a little under the toe of her boot. She glances up at Joel, who is practically shaking with rage. He can't keep his eyes off the dumb car. “You know, you really could've fixed it by now.”
Beat of silence. Then, pouting and everything, he grumbles feebly, “Shut up, Gem.”
There's no heat behind it. If anything, her words seemed to have knocked the wind from his sails of war; he's slumped against the car now, arms crossed as he glares to the side dramatically. God, he sure does put on a show, she thinks with an overwhelming wave of affection.
It's not that Gem doesn't care. But she can't get this feeling from the four mangrove walls of her stupid barn. She can't even get it from winning. So they can burn down everything she owns, take every last life she has to spare. In the end, none of that is tangible. None of that is what matters. This is a game, and games are meant to be played. That’s what counts for her. Why should she take issue if the universe works as it was so lovingly intended to?
All she wants to leave behind is a trail of blood and ruin as she puts up a fight. She wants to leave her mark on this world and all the people it holds. She wants to make it hurt, once she's allowed to. She wants to play the game well, exactly how she was made to play it. She cares about that.
Gem cares, too, about the love she dredges up along the way. She thinks of her hands set to the backdrop of a blood-caked cloak, of long brown hair curling over her fingers as they dig in tight. She thinks of the sharp edge of her sword pressed against pale skin, and the thud of knees hitting the ground. All of that meant something. It still does, she believes, in certain ways.
“I care,” she says, feeling oddly self-conscious. Maybe it's because she knows Joel now: he can't stop caring. It explodes from every pore in his body, an inescapable curse. It's been his undoing, or so she's heard; he's easy to anger, but if you ask her, he's mostly just… easy to love.
It’s this fact that has her saying quietly, “Just… I gotta pick and choose, you know?”
She's not like Joel. There's only so much room in Gem's chest, and it's permanently occupied with a bleeding, open wound. It takes up a lot of her as she skirts around it, giving its raw, frayed edges a wide berth. Joel has an infected hole in his heart too, but his preferred method of dealing with it is tearing it wider with his bare hands.
“Yeah,” Joel drawls absently, scratching his cheek. “Never been quite good at that, I reckon.”
Gem gets that. It must be hard, holding everything so tight that it rips you apart. The thought of losing that much agency has a venomous, stinging feeling crawling down the center of her back. But…
“You're doing it right now,” she points out, gesturing vaguely at his poor car. “You could've gone on a rampage, if you wanted.”
He scoffs. “Trust me, I wanted."
“You didn't though.”
Joel blinks. “Guess I didn't.” The answer is simple, but leaden with something that has branches so complex, it nearly consumes his words entirely. Gem can't name the something; she lacks the history she'd need to do so. Even so, his face is remarkably… light? That's a word for it. Maybe he's finally cut the infection from his own wound.
She hums in lieu of response, turning her gaze back to the trap. Whatever is draped over Joel's mind, she hopes it doesn't render him too docile. The game stops for nothing, and it deserves to be played to its fullest, Gem thinks, no matter what's left standing come judgement day.
#i was thinking about how the two of them juxtapose one another so brilliantly#i love analyzing characters through an outsiders pov and through Comparison..#so heres a character study .. just before the finale#lots of little foreshadowing to the finale tho ofc#geminitay#smallishbeans#joel smallishbeans#wild life#wild life smp#wlsmp#trafficblr#life series#watercolor words#wild life fanart#smallishbeans fanart#geminitay fanart
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i have ALWAYS promptly looked forward to jason grace's povs in the hoo books to the point where'd I'd flip the pages till I find the words "JASON" and would count the amount of povs he has in the whole book before I even finished reading, so I feel excited knowing that I'll get to his povs soon. there, I said it.
#there is no 'i skip jason's povs' allowed in this household sorry I love him too much#if im a loser for liking no LOVING his povs then so be it idc#I genuinely felt interested in reading his povs bc he was the only one without memories#like we don't know who is how got there what he's in chb for?? his mind was so blank that even I felt confused for the poor guy#the sheer devastation I felt when I saw people hating on him online after I read the hoo books 😭#even yesterday I saw a person comment on a jason pinterest post about how he is so uninteresting unfunny and insensitive-#and that they felt bad nico had come out to jason of all people. like okay what did jason ever do to deserve this treatment dam#all poor young me wanted to do was discuss how much I love him and what a great character he was-#i genuinely loved his povs??? he is so dry chill and sarcastic I love it sm bc same jason#whenever he analyzes people's behaviours and notices their habits>>>#pjo#pjo fandom#percy jackson#pjo series#jason grace#pjo hoo#pjo hoo toa
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Calypso's island
#epic the musical#epic the wisdom saga#etm#calypso#odysseus#Calypso is such a fun character I adore herr#I love thinking about her psyche and analyzing her pov#those crabs are menaces do not be fooled by the blank stares#I am so ready for not sorry for loving you#my art
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wanted to say I appreciate your nuanced takes on MW and especially Curly. i don't get the claim that the fandom is full of Curly apologists when majority (esp yt and tiktok) say he's worse than Jimmy. Yes there's commentary about bro culture defending people, he def messed up in trying to placate Jimmy (tbh "we'll fix this" sounded more like trying to keep someone prone to outbursts like Jim calm and not hurt Anya/himself) but I don't think he did nothing to help Anya, since she continued to confide in him and he had less than a week to resolve it before the crash (I also don't get everyone saying he knew for ages when it seems like Anya told him that same week). I get Jimmy's a pos but saying stuff like Curly should've known he'd crash the ship or that Jim had a criminal record he ignored, reducing them to obviously horrible villain and willfully ignorant sidekick feels like a disservice to the game. If your best friend turned out to be horrible, what would you do in a confined space in the span of a few days to respond? I'd say some of the horror comes from trying to do good but ultimately failing, Curly's state after the crash is meant to be tragic horror not revenge/punishment
Thank you and this is what I want to get across.
A lot of information we have to supplement when it comes to how long things have been happening on this current ship. I think people try to add on to the horror and negligence by making things more obvious so it can feel like it was easier to avoid when, true to life, its not. Jimmy clearly didn't deserve or appreciate what Curly did for him in getting him the job, but do you think if Jimmy was that big of a menace on Earth he would've given him a position where he could have that level of power over people's lives? There's something in the fact he specifically chose to pick a position so close to himself where he could watch Jimmy.
I hate the bro code argument because that is a whole can of worms people really don't get. That sort of mentality is born from the general respect and preference of male matter over female ones. Curly is clearly not that guy, he is absent minded about the issue and inadvertently dismissive but he clearly believes Anya, he just can't understand what she's going through. It's an onslaught of information that no one really reacts right to. Additonally, the entire discussion of her assualt plays to heavy into the idea that there is fault outside of the perpertratior when it comes to SA. It's too close if she only did this or if Curly had protected her better but the fact of the matter is Jimmy did what he did. He did it before any of the conversations with Anya about it and it's why her behavior seemed to change so drastically in those last two days.
He has other conflicting thought and while his role as a Captain should've taken over, people act like it's not a very human thing to have such a toxic presence cloud your judgement. It is never easy to separate friend from coworker once that connection is formed, you want to help them, especially if they were friend first and for a long while like in this case. It's not right, but people act like it would be easy when the game clearly points out that no choice is easy to make, especially when you have to make it for more than one person. You have the weigh the consequences, look at all the options and make a plan. People can headcanon and decide how long things where happening, but if we look at what we were presented through the characters eyes, the only person given time to do that was Jimmy.
He waited two months after the crash to appoint himself Captain. Every time a problem was brought up he immediately took action and refused to sit on it and find a better solution. I think it's important to look at the warped way Jimmy takes initiative where Curly didn't as it works as a good contrast of why you don't just run in to "fix" things. The quickest and easiest option may not be the safest or most beneficial. I think some thoughts on the game suffer from the black and white thinking the game doesn't operate on along with us being voyeurs. We see what exactly led to what but the characters don't. They don't have the hindsight and foresight we do and even ours is scrambled by the non-linear story telling.
Like it's hard to talk abuou those grey zones without sounding like an apologist because you're explaining why taking responsibility isn't easy. It's not and it's weird to act like it would be in a scenerio that led up to the events of the game knowing what we know. We see all these characters in such isolated moments with various things before, in between, after and even during we aren't privy too. The idea that Jimmy is worse than Curly heavily banks on the words Jimmy was saying to Jimmy before he crashed the ship. That whatever happened on the ship was his responsibility to bare, which is true due to his position. But, are they not still not responsible for taking the actions Curly then must bare?
Like i feel like people think that these are situation that become easier with age or when you are in a postion of authority and they aren't. You don't lose your biases or gain some sudden knowledge that makes it easier. It just becomes more tiring as you keep dealing with it. I would be first in line to say Curly fucked up and should've done more but the idea he knew how bad it could get or he really saw the worst in the people around him and ignored it pretty much ignores a huge aspect of his character and the game.
#i do believe Anya was a victum to Jimmy more than once before the crash but the game plays wit the sort of fear of waiting and stagnation#i believe the reason she decided to tell him was becasuse she finally broke down and tested to see if she was pregnant after one too many#signs and its why she went to hide the gun because she knew now that there was proof of what Jimmy did and was he would do anything to#cover it up and while she also didn't want the baby there was no sure fire way to safely induce a miscarriage or abortion cause shes smart#enough to know that hence her reading the illusion of choice and taking measures to protect herself#but in the hypothetical it was a one time occurence I think Jimmy would act like one single mistake shouldn't define him and Anya thinks#that if she did something sooner or said something sooner than she or Curly could've stopped all of it but that the hard thing taking actio#its so hard to be preventative to a person like they also have the autonomy to do things and no one on the ship is okay with actively takin#that away outside of Jimmy that its just a delicate issue and people act like it was a conscious choice not to help when he just helped#wrong he did wrong by not immediately punishing Jimmy but at the same time did he even fully get it yet? Jimmy immediately got into his hea#after like the sound design right before he confront him is telling like every track sort of gives you the feeling of the characters where#we cant see their thoughts because again the only two characters pov we get are Jimmy's and Curly's and even then we only get Curly's thru#the responsibilites he has to take like he is always tasked with something because thats his role but we rarely see him do something off hi#own volition cause hes a metaphorical cog in many of the machines the games comments on but he's not actively pulling a switch#also i think people latch on to the we can both be heros things too much when analyzing Curly because Curly very much is not happy being th#leader and current “hero” of the Tulpar he just wants out in a way that doesn't hurt and while he is still responsible for not doing more#the idea he could've easily nipped this in the butt acts like Jimmy was not a beast of his own and that he made Jimmy into the person he wa#vs the fact that Jimmy is a person on his own right that makes these choices others are forced to take responsibility for when he simply c#couldve not done evil shit like at the end of the day Curly is not perfect but not nearly or remotely as bad as Jimmy because for that hed#have to not care hed have to not have tried hed have to not try to take responsibility and he did just not in the right way but thats#subjective to the person and you can only realize you did fuck up after the results are before you and its tragic like this game is a#a tragedy no matter how you try and spin it. There's lessosn to be learnt but at the end of the day it telling the worst moments of peoples#lives and the certain inevitabilities that come with it#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse anya#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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thinking about Bodkin again bc I mean,,, ALL THE SYMBOLISM OHHHHHGH. i NEED some tumblr film analysis hobbyists to watch this show and tell me all the themes n such
#yes I’m making all these posts in a row#it’s bc I’m obsessed atm#mypost#Bodkin#bodkin netflix#PLEASSEEEEE#WHY DID THE PAPER MACHE HEAD LOOK LIKE GILBERT#CAN WE HAVE AN IN-DEPTH CONVERSATION ABOUT EVERYTHING ABOUT GILBERT BEING FORCED TO SWALLOW/CHOKE ON HIS WORDS (recorder) BUT THAT SOUND—HIS#STORY (HIS pov. however ‘abstract’ and detatched from consequence it may have been) BEING WHAT CATCHES EMMY AND DOVEs ATTENTION TO SAVE HIM#. LIKE#OUGHHHHHWJEHQIHSJSBWJXNAJSNNQJZNWHXJWHXJEBXNDUSBJS#AND THE WOLF IMAGERY PLS SOMEONE TELL ME ABOUT THAT#IS THERE MORE THAN THE SURFACE? what do I not understand? as im writing this out am thinking: ok its cause dove is a lone wolf#WAITTTT WAIT OMFG AND when she remembers that her mom told her to howl when she was lost… bc wolves actually have family and I’m p sure the#lone wolf thing is a myth… after she realizes that she’s not alone and she can choose to interact#GOD GRAHHHHH IM GOING CRAZY OVER THIS SHOW#other things I’m thinking abt (will maybe make a post abt?)#OUGH YEAH OK dove symbolism: wolf/lone wolf. sunglasses/shielding herself (OUGH AND SHE PICKS UP THAT XTRA LAYER OF DEFENCE WHEN SHE COMES#BACK TO HOMELAND/familiar space… bc she’s vulnerable to her past here…. hrahhh#. also LMFAO when she calls the sheriff a piggy#hrmmmmm aughhh I want to dissect Gilbert and Seamus’s friendship oughhh#ok wait even more on Dove: I want to dig into when she calls Emmy Emmy vs Sizargd (will have to look up the spelling whoops) —was it always#blatant manipulation? how much of it is a reflection of what she is? hrmmmm there’s so much there I think#another Q: why did Emmy call the tech guy Shitpants again at the end? ik there were the stakes I just wanna dig into her character more. why#would she say the shitpants thing instead of manipulating him in other ways? (not saying her was was unreasonable at all lol-j wanna dig#into her character.#OH prob something abt the whole ‘her needing to release her anger’ thing? idk ahh I want to analyze her more
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its very interesting to me how Tamlin is the character and High Lord that is heavily vilified (I would almost say even more than Beron strangely) when he is the only High Lord to have talked about d how he has gone about removing slavery within his court, protecting lower fae in general, and his court was open to immigration from other courts (i cant remember if its mentioned again in acomaf but in acotar fae from other courts are free to move to the spring court. example, Alis) and how overall he is a great leader. Especially when you compare him and Rhysand as High Lords.
The Court of Nightmares is well, a nightmare. Its existence is extremely strange and makes Rhysand look very odd. as well as its unclear how Rhysand gets his wealth. Velaris was a hidden city until acomaf-ish, which means it was locked (so no immigration or emigration which isn't bad per-say but does bring up how it works economically) and Rhysands inability or unwillingness to protect his citizens (not enforcing the wing clipping ban and allowing people to be abused in the CoN. and before anyone starts about him not being able to control the illyrians, why did he make it a law in the first place? It just makes him look bad) makes him look like a shitty ruler. His supposed "feminism" and friendship with the people of velaris doesnt answer these very important questions or justify the strange shit he does. Versus Tamlin, which you can refer to my opening statement for the comparison. Also to note, his rule only came into question and stability after Feyre broke into people minds (which I do feel is extremely gross and a huge violation of ones autonomy and privacy) and had to sabotage him. I won't comment how I feel about this in this post, but it says a lot that she had to go through such lengths to break him down. Especially after it was revealed he was in fact a double agent and never actually siding with Hybern.
The only time Tamlin is an arguably bad high lord is in acofas and acosf where he is in a severe mental crisis and not in a position to properly rule. But even then, it's not clear if this is actually causing harm to the land and people. It's probably not good because they don't have a proper leader but I can't believe it's a severe issue.
Its definitely a strange choice, isn't it? Cause I think anyone in their right mind would choose the anti-tyranny, anti-slavery leader who does his best for his people... and its somehow not our supposed 'hero'
"I once told you I would fight against tyranny, against that sort of evil. Did you think you were enough to turn me from that?"
Acowar, chapter 44
#pro tamlin#tamlin#acotar#anti rhysand#sjm critical#ive posted before about how rhysand is performative i just need to find the post#his characterization in acomaf is actually bonkers#sjm definitely tries to make him 'evil' or antagonistic but fails spectacularly#I would say with my own review and experiences that Tamlin is not an abuser. Thats a debated topic in the fandom and i do plan to make#dedicated post about this. Tamlins actions arent okay but his reasoning is understandable and makes a huge difference in analyzing him#i think a huge issue is ppl take feyres pov too seriously. shes an unreliable narrator her pov is biased to her feelings aka sjm narrative#thats why when people look outside feyres pov and remove her biases. look purely at the factual inform and do some logical thinking#those people tend to be 'pro tamlin' or appreciate his character more and dont just blindly hate him#also why anti rhysanders exist and why nesta is such a debated character#anti sjm#i also think tamlins vilification REEKS of sjms shitty personal views#we already know shes a zionist and racist. vilifing tamlin is so bad when you think about it with that in mind#arson yaps about tamlin#arsons acotar deep dive#this is a bit of a ramble this isnt SUPER serious until i say it is
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Chapter 18
are we finally getting somewhere with the trial? please??
SEE HERE FOR GENERAL WARNINGS AND FIC SUMMARY
Some pre-chapter notes:
was tempted to start this chapter with toko waking up and gasping 'i think i like girls!!'
wanted to say that everything would've been resolved way earlier if people were just a little nicer to toko before remembering that aoi was literally doing that and she STILL obsessed over byakuya. can we get this girl to a therapist please
shoutout to @digitaldollsworld for reading this at ass o'clock in the morning while i was still writing it. a real hero tbh
Content warning tags: self-deprecating language, implied self-harm, canon-typical manipulation and language
< previous - from start - next >
There’s a moment of stillness. Someone shouts in alarm, and a few people nearly step away from their stands with intention to help. But just as quickly, the dark figure slumped behind the rail begins to clamber slowly upwards, hands bracing against the balusters as she totters to an upright position.
Slowly, carefully, Toko Fukawa stands up straight, trembling all the while. “I-Is this a trial? W-what’s going o-on?!”
The stammer certainly sounds like Fukawa.“...Toko? That’s really you, right?” Asahina tries tentatively. “Um, are you okay? Are you feeling alright?”
“I…” She looks around, hands fisted tight around her braids, twitching with the same nervous quality of a bird. Her eyes must have landed on Byakuya, and the venomous stare he was giving her, because she squeaks and cowers again. “I-!”
“Chihiro’s body was found today. Approximately twenty minutes after you left the library.” He says coldly, words clipped and harsh. “Kyoko says you were both in the boy’s bathroom before the body discovery alarm. Can you verify this?”
“W-what?!” She stutters. “I-I don’t know w-what’s going on, I n-never know-” She’s shaking violently, as if she’s about to faint again.
“Let’s try a different question.” Kirigiri cuts in. “Toko. What were you doing between 12:30 and 1 o’clock today?”
“Wh- A-are you accusing me of s–something?!”
“No. But everyone else has given testimony on their whereabouts during this time. Yours would help grant us a better understanding of the course of events.” Kirigiri says patiently. Fukawa sways for a moment, thinking carefully, before she answers.
“Th-the library,” She half-mumbles, hands twisting in her braids over and over again, the black coils weaving over her pale fingers like eels. “Um, I w-wanted to talk to B-Byakuya alone, so I w-went to the library, a-and we t-talked for a bit…and then-”
He suddenly realizes what she’s about to say, but it’s too late to stop it. “Then, u-um, he h-hit me…w-with a book.”
He can feel eyes turning towards him, and the air turns disapproving. He scowls back. “She’s left out the part where she tried to blackmail me with the secret that she peeked at the other night.” He explains, and at once Fukawa flushes darkly and begins stammering something out.
“I-! I wasn’t b-blackmailing you!”
“What other word should I have used then? Manipulation? Coercion?” He asks sarcastically, and she shrivels and withers at his words.
“I told you m-my secret too, s-so it’d be fair-”
“You told me you were a serial killer who targets the men you fancied. Forgive me if I wasn’t immediately won over.”
The atmosphere turns a little less hostile at that. “Okay, yeah. If it’s like that I kinda get it.” Hagakure is nodding sagely, as if he understands everything. “But, seriously. You shouldn’t hit girls, man…”
“...Are you really going to do this now?” He just needed this trial to be over, already. The adrenaline of the earlier reveal had worn off, and now he felt sick with anger and exhaustion. “The whole thing barely took ten minutes. I wasn’t interested in dragging it out any longer than I had to.”
“Still, hitting is sort of-” But Hagakure shuts up at the glare Byakuya gives him, and quickly amends. “Never mind. Gender equality. Especially in self-defense. Cool, got it, my bad.”
“So, I suppose it is safe to assume that the source of the blood on your hand, and the book from earlier, was because of this confrontation?” Celeste asks. And, without waiting for an answer: “Then, that would also mean that the reason you were holding that file on Syo was due to what Toko had revealed to you.”
She sounds all too satisfied with herself for reaching that conclusion. “And so, it seems that the most damning evidence that had been implicating you has been disproven. Is that not reassuring?”
“...Don’t patronize me.”
“Why, I wouldn’t dare.” She laughs lightly, a soft sound that perfectly conceals her shrewdness.
“Toko. Please, continue.” Kirigiri says again, and there’s a quiet rustle as Fukawa yanks at her hair, the strands scraping over her fingers.
“A-after he h-hit me, I left…u-um, I went to the bathroom t-to w-wash my face, and when I touched the faucet - I-I mean, I wiped my f-face with my hands earlier, a-and the b-blood…” She trails off and shakes her head, and shoves her face into a fistful of her hair.
Byakuya suddenly recalls something, something that Fukawa had mentioned during their confrontation in the library in a hurried, muttered tone. “Syo comes out when you see blood.” He remembers aloud, and her incoherent words begin clicking together.
Her pale face immediately darkens to an ugly, blotchy pink. “Yeah, um. I-I’m scared of b-blood, so…a-and when she’s out, I d-don’t have any m-memory of what s-she does.” She cradles her face in her hands, swaying a little like a swooning maiden. “S-so you did remember…” She mumbles, apparently to herself, and he feels his stomach turn with disgust.
It’s not worth wasting the effort on her to think of a response, so he opts to ignore her fawning instead. “So Toko left the library and went to the boy’s bathroom, and fainted after seeing the blood on her hand.” That seems logical enough, but something about this sequence of events bothered him.
According to Kirigiri, Syo only woke up shortly before the body discovery. If Fukawa went to the bathroom right after leaving the library, why had it taken so long? And that aside, there was something that bothered him about her story. Something that he couldn’t place a finger on.
He’s not the only one who noticed the fallacy. “Excuse me, Toko,” Makoto tries tentatively. “So…that means from around 12:40 to one, you were unconscious?”
“Y-yes? What, do you n-not believe me?” She immediately goes on the defensive, cagey and snappish. “Y-you think I’m l-lying, right? J-just because I’m l-like this, you th-think that e-everything I say is a l-lie-?! Y-you all think I s-strung Chihiro up, I kn-know it!”
“Toko…no one said that.” Asahina has her hands raised, in some attempt to calm her down. “We just want to know what happened.”
She was proving to be an impossible witness. Byakuya raises a hand to press to his temple, feeling his pulse throbbing beneath his fingertips. “Kyoko. Can you verify what Toko has said?” He asks, exasperated, and Kirigiri actually seems to startle a bit, head snapping to look at him.
“...I can’t.” She says, after a pause. “Because she did not enter the bathroom at that time, or else I would have noticed it.”
She remains fixated on him for a moment longer, before turning away. Belatedly, he suddenly realizes this was the second time he’s caught her off guard. The first time was when he pointed out the fact that access to information on Genocider Syo was limited.
He doesn’t have the luxury to dwell on that though. “So, that means that either you, or Toko, is lying about their whereabouts during this time.” He sighs. “For now, we need to identify which one of you both is deceiving us.”
Both are equally suspicious. Kirigiri has been mysterious, even more so than usual, and purposefully vague about her activities. And he didn’t trust Fukawa at all to start with, but she was also clumsy and awkward. It was hard to imagine her being able to plan everything ahead to this degree, from planting the evidence, to staging the actual murder…
“Wait. Something’s not right.” Makoto says suddenly, and his voice is clear and contemplative, his chin tucked over his knuckle. “If Toko fainted before she actually washed her hands, then how come her hands are clean? Remember, when we first met Syo, she showed us that her hands were totally free of blood.”
“I-I-!” She squawks, indignant, but she can’t seem to formulate a reply for a few moments. “M-maybe Syo washed my h-hands or s-something, I don’t know! S-she’s the one that k-kills people, so o-of course she would h-hide her tracks!”
“But, again, the sinks of the boy’s bathroom were all dry.” Makoto points out, and Fukawa sputters some more. “And…”
He pauses, and his head dips for a moment, enough for a shadow to cast over his face. “Toko. How did you know that Chihiro is dead?”
Byakuya figures it out a half-step after him, and silently kicks himself for not picking up on it earlier. And the others pick up on it as well, and the atmosphere turns dark, thick with unease and suspicion. Same as the elevator ride down, but this time, directed at Fukawa.
She’s gaping like a fish. She turns left and right, shuffling slightly. The rails of the stand stand tall and straight like the bars of a cage. “I-that’s-the portraits!” She yelps, and jabs out a pale hand in Byakuya’s direction. “Ch-Chihiro’s portrait, i-it’s crossed out! Th-that means s-she’s dead, so-”
“He’s dead.” Byakuya corrects sharply, and glares so fiercely the confused question that Fukawa was preparing simply vanishes. “But the fact that you weren’t aware of that means that Chihiro never came to speak with you about it. When he already discussed the matter with the rest of us.”
“I-that doesn’t m-mean I k-killed he-him!”
“Maybe that doesn’t implicate you,” Kirigiri concedes. “But earlier, you said ‘strung Chihiro up’. How were you aware of what the crime scene looked like?”
Fukawa squeaks, and smacks her hands to her mouth, as if she can retroactively shove the words back. “Th-that- i-isn’t that like S-Syo’s habits? S-so o-of course I would a-assume-”
“Syo said the crime scene doesn’t match what she does.” Makoto interjects. “All her victims are pinned by her scissors. Like you said, Chihiro was crucified using a cord.”
“I-”
“The time period doesn’t make sense. If we assume that Kyoko is being truthful - why did it take so long for Syo to wake up, in the time between you fainting and Chihiro being found?” Byakuya stares at her icily, and she squirms and shudders beneath his gaze. “You woke up awfully quick just now. For someone accusing us of labeling you a liar, you don’t seem inclined to tell the truth about anything, do you?”
His words drip with vitriol and acid, and Fukawa digs her fingers into her scalp and stamps her foot and screams, a long, strangled noise of frustration and anger. It’s a piercing sound, sharp enough to make Byakuya flinch, and it echoes for a moment up to the high ceiling of the chamber. And then everyone is silent as she catches her breath, hands pulling slowly away from her thoroughly disheveled hair.
“Fine,” She spits, and somehow, her voice is steadier than he’s ever heard it. “I hung up Chihiro. A-and I framed Byakuya for it.”
The confession sounds almost giddy with how breathless she is, but maybe Byakuya was imagining it. After a moment’s pause for people to register what she said, there’s no small amount of shock.
“You- you did?!” Yamada, standing directly next to Fukawa, cows as far away as the stand will let him. “Wha- but you seemed so…”
He doesn’t finish his sentence, but the implication of the word ‘harmless’ hangs in the air. “Yes, I did.” She snaps back savagely. “I-it was easy. H-he’s so small, a-and I knew B-Byakuya would be l-looking for s-stuff on Syo…and, t-the extension cord…”
Byakuya suddenly remembers, then. How she had stumbled as she left the library, foot smashing through some box and getting tangled in its contents. And how he hadn’t paid any mind to it, already too preoccupied with his own survival to care.
“How did you manage it without turning into Syo?” Kirigiri asks, and Fukawa’s face twists. It's only as she turns her head, and Byakuya notices the subtle glint of her bared teeth, that he realizes that she’s grinning.
“He had been i-ignoring me f-for so long…I was w-working so hard. T-to be normal and good. S-so he would l-look at me…” It’s not hard to figure out who she was referring to by ‘he’. Byakuya feels eyes on him once more. But his attention is turned to her raised forearm, exposed by the sleeve drooping around her elbow from how her hands are clutching at her scalp, and the strip of white that is almost imperceptible against her already pale skin. “I-I thought if I could - I could g-get over it, I could prove th-that I could be normal, then…”
She trails off, energy quickly depleted. “So, you had been training to not immediately faint at the sight of blood.” Kirigiri concludes, and Fukawa nods once, jerkily.
“Wait, so you did all that just because he ignored you?” Hagakure asks, mouth agape.
“Yes!” She shrieks vehemently, so sharp and sudden that Byakuya nearly jumps. “You don’t get it! None of you g-get it! I-I can stand it i-if he was mean to me, o-or if he h-hated me, but- it’s the worst when h-he acts like I’m n-not even there!”
Her voice breaks, and for a long moment the only sound in the room is her quiet sobs. To some degree - and Byakuya is furious with himself for even thinking this - he understands why she might behave this way. Clearly, she had been abused, and likely neglected, and this manifested into the extreme, self-demeaning, aggressive behavior she displayed now. Her actions had a twisted logic. She herself was pitiable.
But just because he understood, did not mean he had to accept it.
“Well, you have my full attention now.” He says coldly. “Congratulations. Why don’t you try and keep that attention by telling us what we all want to know?”
“Yeah, how about you tell us how Chihiro died?” It takes Byakuya a moment to place that the question came from Owada, who had been mostly quiet for a while now. He’s not blazing with fury anymore, but there’s an edge in his voice now that Byakuya can’t read. “I don’t give a shit about your fucking crush. I want to know how you killed Chihiro.”
Fukawa tilts her head in thought, and the action is somehow reminiscent of Syo. “B-but, I didn’t kill Chihiro?” She says, and she sounds almost innocent. “I-I just found the b-body…I-I think if I d-did kill him th-then Syo w-would have woken up r-right away.”
As if anticipating it, Kirigiri raises her hands, as if trying to stop the rush of questions and shocked exclamations from the others. It’s no use though, as Owada bellows: “Like hell we’re believing that!”
“Guys, the time limit-!” Makoto has to shout above the din. At that, Byakuya glances at the clock hanging over Monokuma’s chair, the flashing red digits initiating a countdown. How long had it been already? How much time was left? There was no way for him to tell. He’d totally forgotten about it. “Just. Toko, can you tell us how you found the body? Please?”
“W-why should I?” Byakuya feels his jaw physically creak with how hard he’s grinding his teeth. It seemed that in the time Fukawa spent unconscious, she had absorbed the worst aspects of Syo’s personality.
“We may all perish if you don’t.” Sakura points out, a low threat in her voice.
“I-I don’t care.”
Byakuya thinks he might scream. “Why?! What else do you have left to lose?” He demands, and his voice rasps slightly, throat sore from how much he’d been talking. “We know what you’ve done already. You’ve already revealed everything about me. What else do you want?!”
And she giggles, a breathless, insane sound. “I-I don’t c-care what happens t-to me,” She sings. “I hate you. I h-hate everyone here. I kn-know I-I’m gonna get t-targeted no matter w-what I do, b-because you all th-think I’m so horrible…so I should h-hit back f-first, right?” She wobbles, hands knotted in her hair again. “B-but I hate you the most. I-I wanted y-you to know how you made me feel, even j-just a little.”
Even without seeing her face, he can sense her malice, thick and unpleasant like the smell of rot. He hasn’t been the target of such blatant contempt in years, and the complete hostility that she radiates makes him feel a little unsteady.
“Fine. We will figure out the details ourselves. You’ve given us enough clues already.” Kirigiri replies coolly. “Unfortunately for you, only one person will be dying after this trial.”
He’s not sure how she can be so confident about that. The pounding in his head is getting worse, and as his eyes slip closed, he finds he’s not even sure where to start with everything; after all this, they were still not any closer to a definite conclusion. All they had done so far was run blindly around each other, getting lured to dead-ends and circles.
Through the low throb of pain in his skull, he can just barely make out the sound of quiet muttering fromMakoto’s direction. If he opened his eyes, he might have seen the other boy tapping his foot, resting his chin in his hand as he thinks. And if he could have seen, he might have noticed how Makoto’s eyes were darting, drawing invisible lines between fixed points in his mind.
“The place where Chihiro died. And Toko found the body. That’s what we need to figure out,” He says aloud, slowly. “I don’t think Chihiro died on the second floor. There’s no place with enough blood that could justify it, or enough evidence of a clean-up to suggest that it happened there. Even in the hallway where the body was found, the only blood there was against the wall from where Chihiro was crucified. There’s no splatter to match the method of death.”
“Yeah, but there’s no place on the first floor to suggest that Chihiro died there, either.” Asahina points out.
“No, there is one room. There was no blood there, but there was evidence that it was cleaned recently.” Even as he says this, Owada is beginning to gasp, ‘Wait-’, but he continues. “And, it’s somewhere someone got injured recently, so any blood that was missed can be explained away.”
He turns to the pale, silent figure of Kiyotaka Ishimaru, as still and unobtrusive as a ghost. “Taka. Can you please tell us what happened?”
___
Of course, Mondo blocks him before Taka can even respond.
“How dare you.” His voice is a low rumble, and he somehow looks angrier than Makoto has ever seen him. He can practically hear the creak of wood where Mondo was gripping the bannister, knuckles white and bulging. “What the fuck are you trying to pull, Makoto? What the fuck are you trying to say?!”
Makoto swallows, his heart feeling like it’s about to pop out of his chest. He’s seen Mondo both at his most violent moments, and at his kindest ones, his face softening with sympathy as he was listening to Chihiro, the hearty reassurance and gentle clap on the back he had offered to them both. But now Mondo looked like he might actually kill him, and would make it hurt while it happened.
But despite that, he presses on. “I know you said that a trophy fell on Taka’s head, and that’s how you found him. When I went to look at the trophy room, the floor was still wet, and it was clean - like, really clean. And I assumed it was because you went back and cleaned it up after Taka got injured, but looking back, that doesn’t make sense.” He glances briefly at Kyoko, who merely closes her eyes in silent assent. “If your friend had a concussion, wouldn’t you stay by his side?”
Mondo’s face pulls into a snarl, a vein bulging at his temple. “So what if I went back and cleaned it up? Maybe Taka wanted to rest alone. What the hell does that matter?”
“No, I think it does matter. You don’t act like it, but you’re really nice, Mondo. When you were talking with me and Chihiro, and told us about your bro-”
He cuts himself off for a moment, suddenly hesitant. He’s already revealed Byakuya’s secret. He didn’t want to have to reveal Mondo’s as well, even now. He didn’t want to betray anyone else, but-
He already hates me for what I’m doing. He thinks to himself. Whether he reveals Mondo’s secret now or not, he knows that no matter what, he was going to be hated; there was no chance at the friendly ribbing and pleasant exchanges they had in the past. But even despite that, he finds himself unwilling to form the words on his tongue.
He needn’t have bothered though. Kyoko is the one who speaks up in his stead. “There’s no point in hiding the fact that you care deeply for Taka. We all remember the display of friendship the two of you put on the other day after spending weeks at each other’s throats. And as someone who’s familiar with violence, I imagine you’re also familiar with basic first aid; so why would you abandon someone with a head injury to clean up the other room?”
Mondo glares at her furiously, but there’s sweat beading on his forehead now. “You-you meddling bitch, what the fuck are you-?!”
“Please don’t misunderstand. I’m not trying to accuse you of anything.” She sighs. Makoto thinks she looks a little haggard, with dark rings of exhaustion under her eyes, and wonders when the last time she slept was. Despite that, her eyes are still sharp, and meet Mondo’s glower with a cool stare. “But, since we are missing out on Toko’s testimony, I think we should have our last witness speak for himself.”
And before she had even finished her sentence, Taka was opening his mouth.
< previous - from start - next >
#thpff#thpff chapters#byakuya togami#danganronpa fanfiction#my earlobe itches. i think i got bit by a mosquito. it's right over where my piercing closed up too....#really hoping that toko's personal reasoning makes sense here. oohh babygirl you are so full of problems....#might make a separate post trying to analyze toko in this context. maybe. idk yet#byakuya straight up clocks out partway through this so makoto gets to narrate#both bc he's tired as hell and also bc i got worried i was making things too repetitive with his pov#i think its pretty clear by now who the culprit is. amazing team effort by the class to start figuring it out in the last stretch of things#curious if anyone else thinks they know what the full story is before it all gets revealed next chap (eyes emote)#sorry for da wait btw i was simply turning into soup. u know how it is
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The more I think about Kalmar, the more I’m just
#I have…so many thoughts…so many emotions…#I swear it’s like the less insight we have into a character’s mind in canon the more I want to dig into and analyze the#*them#I don’t even know if I can articulate all of my feelings and thoughts about this boy I just…I *cries*#also I WISH we got more POVs with him I will read the series again from his pov cause I want to KNOW#the wingfeather saga#kalmar wingfeather#aceo rambles
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is it bad that i am bothered by the fact that the mainstream tiktok music slaughterhouse has gotten ahold of Hozier's music. I don't have the clock app but apparently, some people were being like 'oh is it about a younger girl? is he creepy? is he making fun of her for being naive?' no you dumb fucks use your context clues
#this man does nothing but revere women in his music#its literally from eden vibes#its not that hard#go back to analyzing taylor swift lyrics down to the fuckin syllable please#i dont know whats come over me I got a tiktok repost to youtube using too sweet in a pov style thing and got SO irrationally angry#sorry i had a bitch moment but please leave hozier out of the instant gratification monkey's hands where all popular songs are bled dry#until everybody says its a bad song in a desperate attempt to get away from it#hozier#unheard ep#unheard hozier#too sweet hozier
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soulless sam was at his best when he was still being written as a version of sam, to accentuate parts of him that normally get held back, and not as 'guess he's evil now'. soulless sam when he's reflecting sam's tendency to lose sight of everything else in pursuit of a goal. soulless sam when he's just kind of rude without thinking about it without his filter on. soulless sam when he's equal parts intent on keeping dean with him and also happy to lie to him and keep him shut out of the things he knows dean won't like so that dean won't leave. soulless sam when he equally recognizes that he is a better hunter now, and also that he probably can't continue to exist without his soul. (you know. before they went along with making him just kind of evil.)
...soulless sam when he's begging for literally anyone to acknowledge his autonomy in this situation and not force him to take his soul back without knowing how much it could damage him and being ignored.
#i have normal thoughts about this man#i love the soulless sam arc actually until it nosedives#i love how it gives us a new lens to examine sam through#i love that soulless sam isn't even really! malicious! he's just exactly what he says: a better hunter!#like the most Bad thing he does is inarguably dean vampire transformation#but id point out that. that gives us even more fascinating stuff to analyze about him#like for one. sam knows not only About the cure but about how dean can't drink blood for it to work. right?#so what can we deduce from this: 1) he is not arbitrarily risking his brother. he is making from his pov the most logical decisions to kill#the vamps they're after. and 2) soulless sam without a doubt believes that dean will resist drinking blood. because otherwise the cure won'#work on him. and you can say 'well he doesn't have a connection to dean because soulless reasons' but. i mean. that's false. clearly.#even if all it is is leftover feelings of responsibility towards dean and familiarity and knowing that dean's a good hunter.#that's still a connection! dean *does* matter to him! and soulless sam believes he wont go for blood. that dean can't.#(sidenote if dean did? i dont think soulless would have killed him. this is sam & dean we're talking about.#soul or not. vampire or not. sam is keeping him around.)#anyway the point of this is that soulless sam is both Very Simple to understand and Very Complex when you get into the details of it#but on the basic level he is just sam's drive to hunt unattached from morality. he is just a better hunter.#i like that characterization far better than 'he is evil and wants to do murder and bad things'#oh and also he fucks people's wives. he's fun like that.#soulless!sam#spn#sam winchester
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There is something to be said about the fact that half the time, marginalized characters end up being the "normal" ones in fanon when that is so clearly not the case.
#thinking about all the cases of 'duke is shocked by the batfamily!'#effectively using duke as an outsider pov when he's literally not#or how cass is the Best Girl#also i say marginalized but i really just mean they're not white#oh actually another case of this is dick. he's schrodinger's character of color cause im pretty sure he's roma in like. maybe two runs#and then it was dropped. BUT actually i wont expand further that's for the circus posting#but regardless. the 'golden boy' rep does come a lot from. fanon. there's so many instances of him being the 'father' or blerg. 'mother' of#the group. and literally why. the only character he really has a fatherhood claim to is damian and that's because of the specific situation#stop making the eldest(s) in your ''''found family'''' the parents!!!!!#stop forcing your found family into a nuclear family structure!#anyways back to the point. 'why doesn't damian get this treatment?' 1) i said half the time and 2) racist introduction#damians also interesting because he is drawn so white for a lot of his appearances so he's also a kind of schrodingers white person.#chekov's white person? idk#project for later would be to compare character of colors' introductions and their portrayal in fanon#also admittedly batman is not the best media to analyze this through because there's multiple axes of shittiness#oversexualization racism classism ableism sexism... is tim the only one who comes out unscathed???#anyways the other reason batman kinda sucks for this (as well as dc) is just that a sizable portion of fans like. don't engage with the#source material. i've seen a lot of people say they've only ever touched fic/fanon. which. well. it becomes a feedback loop#ive also been in fandoms i haven't touched the source material for so i'm not juding. but there's a reason i've stopped that#jkb.talk
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obsessed with your dl analysis. scar hurts himself [to hurt grian] while grian opens up because it sets the precedent, i think. it's his first decision after he discovers (or can't pretend not to know anymore but. y'know. unreliable narrator will unreliably narrate.) that FOR SURE grian is his soulmate and by going and punching the jellie it establishes their dynamic as scar keeping grian hostage in a way? or testing him? considering that he actively weaponizes it later in a soulmate torture for no apparent reason at all, it reads to me as almost punishing. again, all scar has been saying since the start of this season is that he doesn’t need a soulmate, that he doesn’t want to know who he’s bonded to, etc. and grian forces him to acknowledge the bond, keeps on insisting that they base together, that they work together, that they are together because they are soulmates. all the things that scar is averse to. explicitly. now, i don't know what would happen if grian left scar alone before that point or gave up on him after that punch, because we know that grian is incapable of giving up on scar and that universe does not exist, BUT. i think that scar genuinely wanted to be left alone there, "there" meaning the whole season. and after he didn't have that choice - because grian asked him to base together and scar is incapable of denying grian - he wants a little payback? maybe? another thought is that after all of that in scar's eyes grian goes and 'forges his own destiny' with his 'secret soulmate'. his blame can so easily intertwine itself with grian's guilt and they both need to die.
oh im obsessed with this thank you so much for some beautiful scar goodtimes insight... i was definitely also considering the payback theory you mentioned, especially when you think about the fact that prior, grian had Dropped dripstone on his head. and actually, now that I think about it, i feel so much of his behavior might be desperate attempts to attain some sense of control over his circumstances?
i totally agree that the torture was always a form of punishment. i think a big miscommunication between scarian at all points in time is that grian, as a character, holds a lot of agency. he highly prioritizes Choices, and hates relinquishing control. he can't fathom staying anywhere or doing anything he doesn't want to, so what he doesn't understand is that scar isn't like that. when it comes to grian, scar does not care.
he will do literally anything so long as grian stays by his side. like you said, he is physically incapable of denying grian. but on grian's part he cannot even consider that scar is sacrificing anything for him here, because he wouldn't do that. he doesn't think he's ruining any of scar's soulmateless plans because he just fundamentally doesn't understand the power he holds over scar. part of that misunderstanding is definitely by scar's design, who is allergic to letting anyone Know him, especially post last life
it definitely makes sense why scar would be frustrated. a lot of his problems in last life were forged by his choicelessness: his only friend turned red and was forced to cut ties with him, the boogeyman curse continued to alienate him further, it goes on. so here he is in double life, ready to start anew, but then here comes grian his soulmate, asking for his hand. grian, who just by virtue of existing enacts upon scar a specific brand of choicelessness. and now scar is coming to terms with the fact that his feelings for this force of nature of a man have bound him to powerlessness ONCE AGAIN!! FOR THE REST OF HIS LIVES!! and it places him in this gross push-pull where he doesn't want grian but he Also can't help but want him desperately .. and that's how we get his behavior throughout DL. dear God i just love him
#im so sorry i just started yapping at you#your beautiful work inspired me and suddenly i had 9 million scar thoughts#i can't wait to finish analyzing his pov too#it's a bit harder because his behavior is So connected to last life to me. BUT SOON.#(ok tag time SORRY!!)#grian#goodtimeswithscar#gtwscar#scarian#desert duo#double life#last life#trafficblr#life series#asktrowar
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Everybody goes, "You're not supposed to pick it apart logically!"
Well then they should've made it airtight logically. Say they've already tried it with monkeys or something and it was successful but they couldn't jump species so they needed the human sample. Say they've already tried to replicate the exact situation that created Ellie -- now that the show has established Marlene actually knew (or at least strongly suspected) Anna got bit while in labor -- and it didn't work. Explain why they can't use stem cells or blood samples or embryos from Ellie or why they can't do non-lethal brain surgery or wait until Ellie is dead and donates her body to science given they don’t have the infrastructure to mass produce or mass distribute a cure at this point in time anyway.
I just can't go "Joel's actions were inexcusable because he killed a bunch of people and he would've killed them even if the cure was 100%". Lots of people have great intentions and do terrible things and lots of people do great things for the wrong reasons. The Fireflies intended to find a cure and save the world, Joel intended to save his daughter and kill anyone who got in his way, regardless of if the cure would’ve worked. That’s true. However, their intentions are secondary to their actions and if I can't buy into the Fireflies’ choices and find them reasonable then they're just murdering a girl, in which case why would I consider Joel's actions wrong?
I almost wish they had established that it was going to work in a reasonable and logical way, and that they had the means to get it out there. That would’ve made the story richer and darker and more what I think was intended. Because to me it doesn't feel like a man destroying the world for his daughter, it feels like him trying to save his tangible future at the expense of their entirely theoretical one.
#TLoU Spoilers#The Last of Us Spoilers#Meta#this subject has been debated to death but I wasn't here for that so this is just my POV#I mean theoretically what we're supposed to do is neither judge the morality nor the logic and just take in the emotional weight of it all#but we're humans and we like to analyze things
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youtube
#blpls playlist#bluepulse#pov: pulse#i love marina diamandis... her songs with her trademark existential bittersweet apocalyptic quality so deeply hit 4 them#(see also: emotional machine + end of the earth + forget + happy + i'm a ruin + highly emotional people etc.#lmao that's such a rollercoaster of titles but that's blpls in a nutshell)#because bart /especially/ is a candy shell veneer of happy upbeat trickster god who's also a traumatized dude overflowing w/ death#he is truly ev3rything ev3rywhere all at once.#like jaime's got his shit & y'all know i love analyzing him but. good god. even just at face value bart's implications in canon are INTENSE#not to mention digging and theorizing the /tiniest/ bit#yjtas bart's either lost touch with reality or has next level impeccable compartmentalization skills. bc i couldn't imagine.
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Alright, so, yesterday, I recorded every single POV in each chapter in The Lunar Chronicles like a normal person and that's what this blog post is about. So if you want to want the overview of me going pepe silvia over the fact that one of the love interests has less POV chapters than two side characters, boy have I got a post for you!
#rose and rambles#the lunar chronicles#marissa meyer#my dudes im losing my mind over the lunar chronicles#in the best way possible of course#its just#okay#so it's always been a huge source of inspiration for me but ive only just recently gone back to reread them#and i don't know im analyzing things no one else will probably care about BUT LISTEN#THIS SERIES IS INCREDIBLE#i think the actual blog post comes off less unhinged than i feel about it but boy oh boy#know my mind is nothing but pepe silvia#might do East next because the povs there also captivate me#East and then West? hmmmm yes#anyway happy turkey day!#hope you're all eating well and having a lovely time with family and friends
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BOOK REVIEW 📖
Last year I kept track of the series & films I watched; this year I've decided to keep track of whatever books I read! So this one is for the month of January – I'll share these sometime after the month is over, or if I read more than one book during the month, I will do their reviews as soon as I finish the book :)
#ben picks up reading again#dania rambles about shit#should note that this is not spoiler free (don't give much context but still)#i would read it again just to catch all the parallels and symbolism#chose to read this on libby bc of the option to highlight and keep notes in one spot bc jfc I would've annotated tf out of a physical copy#doing this completely from my phone and made my own little template because I couldn't find any good ones for free#what else ummmm oh right this is like a basic answer/question and I ramble off topic but still within some type of margin#read that fanfic I recommend really since I feel like it's better written aka maybe I just like it more bc it has a happy ending#and it includes all the same problems that the characters of the original book went through (for the most part)#anyway 4/5 stars and not 5 bc like I got tired of clare's pov bc it felt like there was no different between#the varying ages we get once we reach her at like 12 and up#henry also affected this bc like he's likable but so stupid and shouldve studied paradoxes or something to solve his problems#again rambling it needs a fix it but blah blah not really their suffering is a main point of the book :)#yeah so structured like a traditional one but I focus on not so traditional aspects bc I have a way of analyzing things#as if I have an essay to write on it lmaooooo#these are handwritten bc I like to keep track in case it worsens due to my cubital tunnel affected wrist#(im a righty; lefty on the other hand has carpal tunnel but that only affects when I do hand on projects like pottery or painting)#I'm giving free trivia/lore about myself here lol
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