#so that probably explains the change in characterization

[mrpenguinpants]

Me, rattling the bars of my enclosure, dying and in pain. I'M DONE. I usually try to get commissions done within 3 days but I got violently sick out of nowhere.

More writer's notes under the cut:

I feel like most of my single-character one-shots are quite different from my headcanon fics. But this one especially feels way out there. Magnolia (my previous Dottore-only fic) has a somewhat similar vibe, but this one feels like I doubled the existential crisis.

Honestly, I don’t know how to feel about it—which is bad since this is a commission. Thankfully, the commissioner liked it, so we’re safe. Or maybe they were just being really nice to me lol. Either way, I hope they did. I initially planned to use the Ayato fic as a guideline, and I kind of did since this fic follows the same structure. But somewhere in the middle, that plan went out the window.

I think I’m physically incapable of writing Dottore without the relationship dynamic feeling completely doomed. Quite literally, it’s an “I’d follow him into Hell, but I sure wish he’d stop going there” vibe. Plus, my interpretation of Dottore is so different from any other character that I was genuinely worried when the same commissioner came back to me. I was like—do you know what you’re asking for? Because I’m about to crack open a philosophy book for this guy. I even took a German word for the title just to satisfy the pretentious bullshit I associate with when writing Dottore. Even with 4,000 words, I feel like I didn’t explore the relationship dynamic enough to fully convey the serene yet doomed tone I was aiming for. But I’m glad most readers, being the smart people they are, picked up on it.

I think my downfall was the music I was listening to—real bittersweet tracks that probably seeped into the writing. I’ve also taken a lot of liberties with his characterization since we don’t know much about the original Dottore. Personally, I imagine he’d be calm and patient. In the Genshin manga, Dottore (Beta) comes off as much more unhinged, while in the Sumeru Archon quest, Omega seems calmer and more composed. So, I assume the original, technically the oldest, would be the most mellow yet hollow of them all.

Oh, and I have to mention this: the (possible) shade of Dottore’s hair is literally called Air Superiority Blue. That’s way too funny not to bring up. I was going to go with Light Blue Slumber (since I’m trying to build a theme around characters’ hair colors), but it felt a bit lame. So, I looked up Dottore’s hair color and found Air Superiority Blue, but that sounded lame too. Then I changed it to Bitter Blue Slumber, which I didn’t like either, so it became Bitter Slumber. Finally, while writing this, I went looking for a word that captures "bittersweet nostalgia," since that’s sort of the relationship dynamic I wanted to convey (not entirely, but close). And wow, Reddit came through. Someone had already asked the same question, and someone else suggested the word Torschlusspanik. I explained its meaning in the fic, but it’s such a perfect word. So yeah, that’s why the title ended up being what it is. Rip the slumber-title continuity.

Ttorschlusspanik [ Commissioned ]

[ Hcs for Dottore where the reader is very sleepy/sleep-deprived and is constantly falling asleep in battle, on dates, or maybe during research and experiments! ]

Word Count: 4k

Ayato Ver: Pale Blue Slumber Semi Part 1: Low Battery Warning [Masterlist]

Thank you so much for commissioning me! You’re so sweet, and I truly appreciate the tip, but I can’t accept this level of generosity. Please let me know if I went under the word count. Also, thank you for your patience—I got really sick this week and am still recovering.

Torshlosspanik. noun. 1. A desperate feeling that something desired is fading, missing, or being taken away. 2. A feeling of frustration when something one has is departing.

A slumbering figure, a nearly empty desk, and foreboding fabric are the greeting signs to the infamous lab. It’s ironic, really. The concept that the Doctor’s domain comes with a “receptionist” setup stationed in front of imposing steel doors, giving the illusion that this place is as normal—and as morally sound—as any other doctor’s office. At best, it’s laughable to think anyone would believe this place accepts patients willingly, let alone frequently enough to require check-ins. Yet, a shabby but sturdy wooden desk stands innocently in the corner of the entrance, its chipping edges lined with plastic chrysanthemums and white lilies. The artificial flowers are faded, their colors dull from years of neglect, as if mocking the very notion of hospitality. Behind the desk sits an equally worn-down office chair, large enough for someone to curl up in. Its fabric is stained and frayed from years of misuse, the cushion lumpy and barely holding its shape but still useable. All for a receptionist, if you can call them that, who spends more time asleep than actually working as an employee in this most unlikely place. Legs curled up on the seat, arms crisscrossed over the knees in a fetal position. A chin tucked towards the chest, hidden from the view of passersby. Back facing toward prying eyes, leaving only the pronounced slouch of their spine visible, an angle practically begging to develop scoliosis. But the most harrowing detail isn’t the position. It’s the unmistakable black-and-white fur coat draped over them like a blanket, the fabric’s presence carrying an air of authority and fear. A coat only gifted to the Eleven Fatui Harbingers. The desk itself is of no help either. There’s no clipboard, no pens, no paper-nothing that could even remotely resemble the tools of an actual receptionist. It’s an empty stage prop, barely held together by the weight of its own absurdity. And yet, for all its flaws, it stands as the gateway to a place no one in their right mind would willingly step into.

No one dares attempt to wake you. Successfully doing so is practically a death sentence, especially if you go whining to Dottore about the unprompted “alarm clock.” He has a reputation for ensuring the offender never makes a sound again. The only ones bold enough to try and emerge unscathed are his fellow Harbingers, though even they tread lightly when it comes to disturbing your slumber. It’s both impressive and deeply concerning how much of a deep sleeper you are. The bustling footsteps of agents pacing outside the lab, their sharp voices discussing assignments, don’t stir you. The deafening clangs of machinery, coupled with the revolting squelches of severed monster parts being dissected, fail to trigger even a flicker of awareness. Not even Tartaglia’s incessant yammering, loud enough to make glass shudder, elicits so much as an irritated swat from you. Instead, you remain in a state of unyielding sleep, utterly detached from the chaos around you. Your peculiar habit has become such a fixture in the lab that the staff barely remember you exist. You sit perched at their entrance and exit, as still and silent as a gargoyle guarding a forgotten ruin. To them, you are little more than part of the backdrop. A slumbering figure whose presence is a curious mix of ominous and benign.

While it's obvious that the answer to rousing you is to find Dottore himself, or one of his segments if he isn’t around, the interesting part is how you wake up. You're not immune to the initial dizziness that comes with awakening. When you finally open your eyes, blinking the sleep away from your eyelashes, you’re always disoriented. Your eyes feel glazed over, as though you’ve gone blind from keeping them closed too long. Yet, there’s always a common theme: you always reach out toward the nearest blue object. Whether it's an odd trinket or a test tube of acidic liquid, your hand automatically tries to grab it and pull it close to you. It’s part of the reason your desk is stationed outside the lab, away from anything potentially dangerous hidden behind heavy steel doors. Artificial blue has been on the rise lately. Luckily, in nature, blue is very rare. Less than one in ten plants has blue flowers, and even fewer animals are blue. Unfortunately, the biggest nuisance has blue eyes—dead as they are. Tartaglia may not like the doctor, but he does like you. Maybe it’s because your sleep demeanor can be categorized as cute, or maybe you remind him of the simple life in an organization that’s so uptight. Regardless, that little fox has been clawing at the wooden legs yapping for attention. It's only made worse you don't bother to dissuade him, only indulging in his playful antics. It's led to many, many, lectures from one particular segment.

It's fascinating watching how each segment interacts with your sleepy demeanor. While each segment has varying features and appearances, under the same clothes and mask, they would be indistinguishable if they stood still and never spoke. The only true way to discern them is through their actions and mental processes. Hence, it's easy to tell who is who by the way they go about holding you.

Omega is by far the least attentive or affectionate toward you. Perhaps it’s because he’s the most selfish of them all. There’s still an ongoing debate over whether his dislike for you stems from the fact that you stand in the way of fulfilling his desires or if his ambitions extend beyond simply overtaking the divine gaze. Or perhaps the divine gaze isn't actually his goal in the first place. Either way, it’s two sides of the same coin. When it’s Omega’s turn to fetch you, he does so as if you were any other patient. Completely beneath him. One arm rests behind his back, while the other holds a piece of paper clenched tightly in his hand. His mouth is set in a firm line as he gazes down at your slumped form. Although the air around him is calm and silent, it doesn’t take a genius to know that if he could get away with it, he’d drag you through the halls by your hair. Alas, that kind of act would get him permanently disassembled, so he settles for unceremoniously flipping you upright. The arm resting on the small of his back is removed and curls under your stomach. With one swift motion, you’re treated like one of Signora’s shopping bags. The sight of a limp body folded in half under an arm that surely digs into the stomach is the best way to know if it’s the Omega segment or not.

Beta, on the other hand. Beta. That maniacal and neurotic freak adores you but couldn’t care less about you. His research typically focuses on fusing humans with machinery to create “better versions” of themselves, and he fully believes in that philosophy. You would look so much better if he were allowed to be your sole care provider. If your drowsiness were caused by a medical condition like heart disease, asthma, pain, or a nerve condition, he could simply replace them, and you’d be perfect. If it were a mental issue, well, he’d love you no matter how unresponsive you might be. It wouldn’t be much different from you being asleep anyway. When it’s Beta’s turn to fetch you, he does so with a waltz. He walks purposefully toward your desk. Loud and firm, his hands fisted at his sides with unrestrained glee, swinging in time with each step. Even with a mask that obscures most of his face, it’s clear to see the overexcited grin stretching across his lips. It’s almost like there’s static buzzing in time with his artificial heart, fuzzy yet electrically sharp. There’s no fanfare, as soon as he’s within arm’s reach, he grabs the nearest piece of skin and hauls you out of the chair. By some miracle, you’re always still asleep from the rough handling, which is more than enough for Beta to wrap his other arm around your waist. Your chests press together, and he swings your body to and fro in his mad dance. The sight of a limp body dragged into a dancing plague that’s surely pulling your stiff joints out of place is the best way to know if it’s Beta or not. Beta has been recently banned from coming within a six-foot radius around you. 

The original Dottore, Zandik, is a unique case. All of the segments originated from him but at different points in time. However, they are still parts of his thoughts and mannerisms. There really is no order in which the segments are ranked, as they can’t compete with each other. What’s more pointless than trying to beat yourself? You’ll still lose in the end. Zandik is a strange mix of every segment yet none at all. When he wants to see you, he does so slowly, with all the time in the world. His methodical steps echo lightly on the concrete floors of the lab, his arms still at his sides yet loose enough that the slightest wind could blow them away. It’s as eerie as it is tranquil. Everything about the original whispers of restrained patience—that when he arrives at the front of your desk, he simply waits. Usually, it takes you hours or even days to wake up on your own, but when it’s Zandik standing at the edge of your daydream, your eyes slide open. Small ripples in the pond. You’re still lethargic, blindly feeling your way back into your body as your eyes ricochet off the walls until they land on blue. A weighted hand reaches out to grab that ashy blue, and another hand meets your fingertips.

It would be cute if it were anyone else. The sight of a man with curly light blue hair, carrying a bundled-up figure dressed in a white coat with a fluffy black collar, legs dangling from either side of his waist while his hands rest on the lump’s presumed back and thighs. It would be so cute indeed, if it were anyone else but Zandik. But for him, it only looks lonely, despite the two of you pressed together.

The moments when you're awake only happen on two occasions: either you just happened to wake up at that time, or it’s check-up day. What kind of doctor would Dottore be if he didn’t conduct physicals for his only patient who manages to live long enough each year? The check-ups happen twice a week, always two days apart. Never past two days of separation. Ever. Your exact relationship dynamic with Dottore remains as obscure as ever as to why he cares so much. Whether you’re old friends who knew each other before Dottore set foot in Snezhnaya or even when Dottore was called a different name. Or maybe a dead lover resurrected as a zombie in the pursuit of selfish greed and glorious progress; both are possible options. The zombie theory at least explains why you’re constantly drowsy. The staff have never seen you eat anything before, and with the abundance of... zombie food, it's not outlandish as much as it is disgusting. The old friend theory would explain why you can stomach being around someone who can fly off the handle at any moment. The most willing yet unwilling patient. No matter how often Dottore has to wrestle you upright, only for you to slump back asleep the next second, he never loses his temper. If he has to strap you into a straitjacket and hang you from the goddamn ceiling to keep you sitting with a straight back, he will. But by no means will he get anything more than slightly miffed. If he has to force-feed you your medicine because you’re too loopy to remember how to swallow, he’ll shove his fingers into the back of your throat with nothing but a blank smile. The only good thing about your sleep-deprived state is that you’re probably so out of it that you can’t feel discomfort. It saves on using the limited supply of anesthesia the lab carries.

Dottore, for lack of a better word, is displeased with your constant need for sleep. He is deeply frustrated with each check-in and the stagnation of your results. For him, bad results are no different from good ones—they’re still a means of moving forward. Something that will tell him which direction to take rather than wandering around aimlessly in the dark. But in your case, there are no significant changes, as if everything he’s done has been for nothing. He could have closed his eyes and spun a wheel for the same results. The day before your check-in is always the calm before the storm because the staff knows that when the next day comes, they’d better keep their heads down or risk losing them. No one is quite sure if your sleepiness stems from mutated genetics or if it’s a side effect of being around Dottore for too long. Stir-craziness and breakdowns are common in the lab, whether among "patients" or "employees." Everyone eventually goes mad, cooped up within the same cell-shaded walls and working under possibly the worst boss imaginable. Add to that the fact that the Fatui don’t believe in “mental health” days, and with no coping mechanisms in sight, it’s unfair to expect anyone to function effectively. Most people eventually devolve into screaming or manic episodes. Perhaps your escape is more literal. A peaceful retreat from reality through sleep. You’re not even sure why you’re constantly sleep-deprived, especially when you spend more time slumbering than awake. At first, you thought you might be narcoleptic or taking the wrong pills; a diagnosis from scratch must take a long time, right? That was until Dottore bluntly called you an idiot. He told you it’s a bad habit to self-diagnose every minor inconvenience. You should let him do all the thinking and simply listen to him. And truthfully, with the haze clouding your mind, it’s too difficult to think clearly anyway. So, you nod and do as you’re told. It’s easier that way.

It doesn’t happen often, but it occurs more than it should, considering who Dottore is and the reputation he holds. If you wish to cross him, you’d better make it count—because it’ll be your last. He’s in the middle of a meeting with Pantalone, arguing over the lab’s finances when a frantic knock interrupts. Apparently, there’s been a scuffle at the entrance of the lab. To Pantalone's knowledge, there aren't any guards or any agents stationed at the doors except for that sleepy receptionist. Perhaps the doctor's staff finally had enough and decided to take their anger on someone who couldn't fight back? Pantalone's not a good enough person to not find amusement in the situation, infinitely curious as to what Dottore's reaction will be to all of this. Whatever the banker decided to gamble on, his expression doesn't twitch as he follows behind his fellow Harbinger as they walk leisurely through the halls, as if the world has come to a standstill. It’s almost amusing that when your life is potentially on the line, he suddenly decides to take a midday stroll. The only indication of his amusement is the slight shake in his shoulders, hinting at a silent laugh. Dottore punches in the lock code and throws open the steel doors before the automatic switch can activate, slipping through as soon as the gap is wide enough. He stops at the shabby wooden desk that’s now gained a few new dents.

This time, you’re curled up on top of the table, your office chair thrown across the room. Broken. It’s no matter, he’s been meaning to replace it anyway. The chair is just another expense to add to his name. He collects you into his arms effortlessly, and you instinctively sink into the familiar hold. A quick scan from head to toe confirms that you’re unharmed, save for a few strands of hair out of place. Behind him, Pantalone lets out a noise of approval as he surveys the scene. In the center of the room stands a robot with a striking design. A star-shaped frame with six triangular segments forms a perfect symmetry. Glowing cyan cores illuminate the metallic structure, positioned at its center and edges. The intricate details combine sharp, crystalline elements with mechanical precision, radiating an aura of both elegance and menace. As expected of the Doctor. Pantalone can’t help but wonder where this machine was hiding when Signora ventured to Inazuma. Perhaps if it had been deployed then, she might have returned in one piece.

Although Dottore no longer needs to sleep to survive, there are times when, as he passes by your sleeping form, he’ll pause. He stands still, staring for what feels like an absurd amount of time, meticulously detailing and recording every breath you take within a single minute. It’s always 17. Sleep occupies about one-third of a person’s life, a significant portion of time that, in Dottore's mind, could be devoted to something useful. Something productive, instead of wasting it frolicking in dreams that neither matter nor will change anything. Yet, even he can’t deny that, occasionally, a break from reality can serve as a fragile bandage over a wound that refuses to heal. A fleeting comfort in an otherwise relentless existence.  

It’s as awkward as it is unnatural. Despite his title as "The Doctor", his hands weren’t designed for gentle touches of flesh and bone. Yet he tries. His fingers twitch involuntarily as he tilts your body to the side, just enough for him to slide in beside you. Carefully, he rests your body against his shoulder. He expects you to jolt awake, his shoulder is bony and hardly a suitable place to rest your head, even when compared to the flaky cushion of the office chair you’ve somehow grown fond of. But you don’t. Of course, you don’t. You simply lay there, your head nestled against his shoulder as if it were the most natural thing in the world. No protests, no shifting away, just stillness. The transfer of heat begins, as described by the laws of thermodynamics. Hotter, faster-moving molecules collide with cooler, slower ones, transferring energy in a quiet exchange. No fireworks, no blaring alarms, just the science of touch, as mundane and profound as ever. Zandik dares to lower his chin, letting it rest lightly against your head. His mask doesn’t obscure the quiet moment, though he can feel the unnatural curve of his lips twitching upward ever so slightly. Down here, in the deepest layers of the lab, not even the howling winds of Tsaritsa’s snowstorm can reach. It’s eerily quiet, save for the rhythmic sound of your breathing. For a moment, he wonders what it would be like if you woke up now. If your half-lidded eyes would squint at him in confusion, or if you’d simply close them again, surrendering to the haze of sleep. But you don’t stir. Instead, he lets himself linger, suspended between an unusual warmth and the cold detachment of his own thoughts

"Breaks" are not something you can indulge in down in the labs. The closest the staff ever got was when one of the Harbingers passed away, and even then, it lasted only half a day before they were right back to work. Still, if you ask nicely, Dottore will nod toward an empty seat, silently giving you permission to make yourself comfortable. You take the opportunity to describe the dreams you’ve had while Dottore tinkers away in the background. You talk about a train whose tracks stretch far into the stars, far beyond the snow-obscured sky you glimpse through the scarce, frosted windows scattered about the lab. Sometimes, you dream of a whimsical city filled with cute shops and tiny bunny-like robots waddling through fissures in space. You’re certain he isn’t really paying attention, his hands busy with instruments, and his focus locked on his latest project. Sometimes, you suspect he forgets you’re even in the room despite your rambling. A small part of you wants to stamp your feet and pout like a child. After all, you’re only awake for a few fleeting hours each week, and even then, all he can think about is his experiments. His endless, obsessive tinkering. The man’s only "hobby" is experimentation, and you wonder if he’s even capable of entertaining anything else. At least Omega and Beta would give you some attention. Omega might tell you to be quiet with that dismissive tone of his, while Beta would enthusiastically scribble down every word you say, his excitement unnerving yet oddly gratifying. Still… your gaze drifts toward Zandik’s back as he works, the muscles beneath his coat shifting subtly with each precise movement. You pull your knees up against your chest, wrapping your arms around them as you rest your cheek against your folded arms. For a moment, you simply watch him in silence, the quiet hum of the lab filling the space between you. Eventually, your eyes grow heavy, and you let them slip shut. A faint smile tugs at your lips as you wonder where your dreams will take you this time. You wonder if Zandik would come with you.

On the rare occasion that Dottore chooses to sleep of his own will, most likely due to substances that induce drowsiness and force his body into a state of rest, it’s always a remarkably uneventful night. He doesn’t dream anymore, nor does he wish to. Dreams, like the past, serve no purpose to him now. On certain days, if he concentrates hard enough, he can faintly discern whispers from the other segments he's created. However, they are nothing more than distractions, a cacophony that only aggravates his already meticulous mind. When he wakes, it’s as though he hasn’t truly slept at all. His eyelids parted smoothly, his pupils sharp and alert as if no time had passed. Yet there is an unusual sensation, warmth. Dottore does not run warm, and the lab, built for functionality rather than comfort, certainly doesn’t harbor it either. He turns his head, curiosity fleeting, and finds you huddled against his side. Your arms are wrapped around his waist in a loose embrace, and your face is pressed against his chest, seeking solace in his stillness. The white coat with its black feathered collar, the one you wear more often than he does, is draped across your body, serving as a makeshift blanket. His hands remain clasped on his stomach, and he realizes with mild irritation that he can’t move without risking the possibility of waking you. For a moment, he lingers. The seconds on, and his mind races ahead to the tasks awaiting him. The pursuit of progress waits for no one, not even himself. Every moment spent lying in this bed feels like a year’s worth of lost discovery. 

With calculated precision, he shifts. His movements are methodical, almost robotic, as he carefully bundles you in the coat, ensuring the hood doesn’t cover your face and obstruct your breathing. In a single fluid motion, he lifts you into his arms as he rises from the bed. He spares a brief glance at your sleeping form, red eyes devoid of emotion. Your breathing is steady at 17 breaths per minute—a rhythm he has memorized and measured countless times before. Still as serene as ever. But then, for just the faintest of moments, his gaze softens, almost imperceptibly, before he turns his attention back to the work that never ceases to call for him. What a peaceful way to escape the world, the thought as cold and clinical as his expression.

---

Hi, thank you for reading! I'll reblog this with further writer notes but I wanted to include the research bits in order of appearance. I can't guarantee the full accuracy but I hope I didn't get anything wrong.

Chrysanthemum & Lily

In many Asian cultures, especially in China and Japan, chrysanthemums are symbolic of death and mourning. In China, the flower is closely linked to the Day of the Dead, and in Japan, it is used in funeral rites. While in some contexts chrysanthemums can symbolize longevity or fidelity, their association with death makes them unlucky in certain circumstances, especially when given as gifts or during celebrations.

Lilies, especially white lilies, are often associated with death and mourning, particularly in Christian symbolism, where they are linked to funerals and burials. While lilies also symbolize purity and rebirth in other contexts, their frequent appearance in funeral arrangements.

Head-Down Position

The sleep position reader takes is a parody of the Head-Down position of babies in their third trimester. The head-down position (cephalic presentation) is the most common and ideal position for birth, where the baby’s head is facing downward, towards the birth canal. This allows the baby to navigate the birth process more easily.

Dancing Plague

Also called the Dancing Mania, this refers to a series of events in the 16th century where groups of people, primarily in Europe, suddenly and uncontrollably began dancing for extended periods, sometimes for days or weeks, often to the point of exhaustion, injury, or even death. The most infamous and well-documented outbreak of the Dancing Plague occurred in 1518 in Strasbourg, then part of the Holy Roman Empire (modern-day France).

Algorithm of Semi-Intransient Matrix of Overseer Network

The robot Pantalone sees is the early concept art for ^ but also known as the "Tomb Guard of the Desert King.".

17

The number 17 is considered unlucky in Italy because of its association with the Latin word for 17, which is "XVII". Rearranging these Roman numerals gives the word "VIXI", which means "I have lived" or "I am dead" in Latin. This gives the number an ominous connotation, as it can be seen as a symbol of death or misfortune.

Honkai Star Rail & Zenless Zone Zero

Yes, reader was describing these two games as their dreams lol.

[sadmanyeyes]

Chapter 7

Later on, in a hotel room, Natsuko asks Yakumo if he's sure he's okay, saying she knows she twisted his arm into coming along on the trip. Tatsuya joins in, saying the whole experience has scared him into never driving without a license again. Yakumo tells them all to chill, reminding them that they're all friends.

Later, by himself, Yakumo muses to himself that at least he has a bike now and now all he has to do make a few bucks before the trip. Then, he remembers Three Eyed Pai saying that he doesn't even have two weeks left of his normal life...but he doesn't trust her. Pai is fine but he has no idea how to deal with her other half. Then he sees a guy in an overcoat walk out of nowhere, staring at him with one eye. The guy walks off, Yakumo being creeped out before he heads inside his place, Pai apparently having left the door unlocked. He finds his dad's skull on the floor...and finds his place a sty, apparently ransacked. That sucks...but more importantly, Pai's missing!

He runs over to his boss' place and is greeted by an angry drag queen with cream on his face. He calms down when he recognizes Yakumo and he tells him that Pai's inside sleeping when he asks for her. The boss says that she was at his door five minutes ago, saying she was starving. Apparently Yakumo told her how his boss used to cook for him when his dad was on trips. Then Yakumo finds her sleeping like this:

Yakumo tells his boss he can't dress her like she works at the bar, much to the boss' confusion. The boss then teases him for being possessive, much to Yakumo's embarrassment. Yakumo fights off the allegations by saying that he doesn't see Pai like that, only wanting to protect her, saying she's like a sister to him.

The boss accuses him of being into incest then. Yakumo gives up and takes the boss to his place, showing him the mess. The boss asks him if he called the cops but Yakumo wants to duck them for the time being...he asks if the boss heard anything from across the hall and the boss denies it, saying the ransacking is the work of a real pro. Yakumo then says that means Pai didn't do it, much to the boss' confusion. It's then Yakumo sits him down with some tea and explains some things...

So to recap, Pai is triclops with a split personality and Yakumo is an immortal zombie. The boss then says that Ling Ling seems suspicious, since she helped the two with no reason. Yakumo says they don't have to worry about her though, since she just wanted to make money off Yakumo's "zombiehood". So Huang is more like a victim (as far as they know) and Chau is dead...so who's left? Apparently (I'm using that word a lot) the only things taken were a few of Yakumo's father's books. It's here where Yakumo's boss reitarates some words he doesn't want to hear: he can't go back anymore. Like a Yakuza trying to leave his old life, he can't go back to how he was.

He repeats what Pai told Yakumo: trying to live his old life will just lead to unhappiness. There is nothing on this planet that can't be broken, nothing that can't die...except for him. Just being immortal is going to make a lot of people come after him. But that's not so bad! He can leave his old life behind, go on a new adventure, rescue the beautiful girl, maybe get some ass along the way...but Yakumo insists he doesn't see Pai like that. She's a monster after all...but the boss says so is he.

Yakumo, walking outside, says that while he thinks Pai is pretty cute, he can't drop his entire life for the sake of getting her human again. He doesn't trust her...and his life and friends are in Tokyo. The next day, at school, he greets his friends and tells them that he fixed up the bike so he's ready for the trip! He takes Hideyoshi's coffee can and takes a swig, handing it back...but Hideyoshi walks off, telling him to keep it. Tatsuya goes with him. He playfully tries to flirt with Natsuko and she screams when he touches her, running away from him.

Later on, Hideyoshi tells some girls Yakumo can regenerate, telling them he's a monster...as Yakumo and Natsuko (having come back to him) listen in. Yakumo confronts him and Hideyoshi breaks down, begging for forgiveness as if Yakumo is going to kill him. Yakumo runs off as Natsuko calls after him, the one-eyed guy watching him as he says his name...

So Natsuko chases Yakumo down and says they're all just worried about him but Yakumo gets it. He can' even trust Pai. It's just like Three-Eyed Pai said: his life is over. He tells Natsuko tell everyone he said to take care, saying he'll be back when he's human, before the one eyed guy shatters a pillar, burying Yakumo is rubble before he snatches Natsuko!

End of chapter.

[bereft-of-frogs]

with Vernestra being in the new book and seeing some people comment on like 'waiting for the other shoe to drop with her arc' (sorry if you happen to be the person who wrote that on reddit and are reading this haha, I actually really agreed with your review, that line just popped out at me), and my own frustrations with wishing they'd just invented a new character to fill her role in The Acolyte, because speculation on how we make the (kinda big) leap from book characterization to show characterization is overshadowing her character in these last few books, I started wondering like why did they choose Vernestra to be the one book character to bring forward? They had to retcon the Mirialan lifespan for it, didn't they? I know they probably wanted at least one book character to get the book readers on board with the series, but there wasn't anything that jumped out at me to explain why that figure had to be Vernestra. Then I got it.

...I bet they just wanted to use the lightwhip.

I mean first of all it is a cool, unique weapon for the series, even though they only used it in that one shot, fair enough lol. But I bet they had the idea for that shot of Qimir's scar to connect to whatever turned him to the Sith and planned the arc from there, so they had the plot first (Qimir fights his former Jedi master, leaving him with the scar that can be strategically revealed when it is time for #traumatic backstory) and slotted Vernestra into it because the lightwhip makes for a unique enough scar pattern to serve as heavy foreshadowing when it's revealed in episode 6.

But damn, I wish they had just made it like Silandra's shield and had it passed down, I would have been chill with Vernestra being Qimir's master's master, that would have made sense to me. But that's definitely where the 'they needed a character from the books to get the book nerds to watch the show' lol and maybe they already have Burryaga's (the only other character I can think of with a sufficient lifespan) ending planned (#fear). But it still does kind of suck that the ending of the book series has to be viewed through this lens of 'ok well how does this explain what happened between book Vernestra and show Vernestra...'

[undeadhost]

To be honest I’ve so vehemently pushed away the idea of writing for fun because I’ve always been such a S.T.E.M. guy and have always preferred impersonal, formulaic, analytical essays instead of writing in the first person or god forbid creative writing. But at the same time. BlackBright tag needs more fics. So.

[iron-strangers]

Dream a Little Dream of Me

Description: It's all true, Jedi can read minds. You've been trained to keep people's thoughts about you for so long. It went well until the day you caught Din's fantasy involving you.

Pairing: The Mandalorian (Din Djarin) x Female Jedi!Reader

Series: Expanding Clan Mudhorn

Tags: Established Relationships, Mand’alor Din Djarin, A Sprinkle of Family Fluff, Sexual Fantasy, Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex (f receiving), Unprotected p-in-v, Creampie, Breeding Kink, Lactation Kink

CW: Reader has AFAB characterization, uses she/her pronouns, is able-bodied, has depicted body changes related to pregnancy and breastfeeding, and hair that can be pulled during sex. No Use of Y/N. Consent Issues: Reader peaks into Din's fantasy. NSFW MINORS DNI

Length: 2.7k

-

According to urban legends, jedi can read minds. That's true, well, to an extent.

Jedi can read unshielded minds. A Jedi’s mental shield helps to prevent their minds so they’re not easily read, but also to prevent them from accidentally reading a non-force sensitive’s mind. This knowledge helped you survive being chased around the galaxy during the Empire’s reign. Imps are weak-minded and you could easily get any information you needed by reading their mind.

As you grew older, some thoughts people had about you turned sexual. Some got you blushing, like the one from a spacer who fantasized about sweet-talking you into having a quickie in the back of the cantina, some others were just plain disturbing and had you slamming a mental shield as quick as you can before fleeing the parameter with your blaster clutched in your hand.

During the old Jedi-Mandalorian war era, Mando'ade have found a way to keep the jetiise out of their head. Beskar helmets are effective for as long as you can remember, but apparently, there's a loophole. Beskar can't block a jedi who's already soul-bonded to a Mandalorian. There might not be any data about this, but let's be real, there's barely any noted soul bonds between a jedi and Mandalorian throughout history.

This explains the weird sync you and Din have. People have mentioned how you complete each other, that you have almost the same opinions on things, how you two always make the same decisions, both politically and on the battlefield. Some might even suggest that you and him finish each other's sentences. It's a cliché, written in teenager’s holonovels. So you're used to laughing it off, deflecting that you probably just spent too much time together, that between leading and parenting, agreeing on the same thing is just what spouses do. The Armorer called you ‘two halves of one warrior’ at your wedding ceremony. It should’ve ring an alarm in your mind, but in your defense, you were too busy getting swooned off your feet.

It became apparent one day when you met him in a small bakery, just a few minutes away from the Keldabe Palace, when he wasn’t supposed to be done until much later in the day. You’ve been craving Keshian Spice Rolls all day and you figured it was a great day to take the kids out, enjoy the sun and a little sweet treats, then surprise your hard-working riduur with a box of pastries back in the palace. Imagine your surprise when you stepped into a bakery and saw him already queuing.

“Rid’ika!” He called, waving to you from the line. You skipped over the lines, smiling and nodding to everyone as you made your way to your riduur. Din took Grogu from you so you can lift Aranar, who’s busy charming everyone off with his toothy grin, up.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, holding his offered hand. “You have to meet the Prince of Bespin in half an hour.”

“I know, but I heard they are baking Keshian Spice Rolls. So I went to buy you some.” Din shrugged, not once caring about the Prince having to wait for him to get back from spoiling his riduur. “And what about you? I thought you have a bes'kad class for the verd’ike this afternoon.”

“The class won’t start for another two hours and I really want a spice roll.”

You heard people behind you aww-ing and you buried your face into his shoulder, humming when you feel cool beskar against your blushing cheek. Din smiled behind his helmet, paying for three spice rolls to go, never once he let your hand go. You got back to the palace with twenty minutes to spare and herded the ad’ike to the Mand’alor’s office.

“Knock when you need him and don’t come in before I answer.” You rushed into the room when you spotted Kryze marching to stop you.

“You two better not be having se-”

“Young ears, Kryze! Manda, we’re just gonna eat Spice Rolls!” You held the pastry packages up for her to see, holding your laughter when you saw her scowling.

“Spice rolls better not be a code for something else, Djarin! You have a meeting in twenty minutes!”

Din closed the door on her face and you locked it with the force for good measure before dissolving into giggles. Din lifted his helmet up and immediately pressed a longing kiss to your lips. The kiss was uncoordinated since the two of you couldn’t stop grinning. The kiss, and the pastries were heavenly, Grogu and Aranar shared a piece, for your peace of mind. After all, it was you who had to wrangle two sugar-high toddlers in the training yard as you teach advanced sword techniques to a group of heavily armed teenagers who happened to be Mandalore's newly sworn warriors.

The impending knock finally came and you shared another sugary sweet kisses with your riduur before you put his helmet back on and sent him away to his duty. The door was barely closed when you were hit with realization.

Fuck, you thought. We’re soul-bonded.

**

Overall, there are worse people to be soul-bonded with. Having one with your own riduur is not a bad thing at all. Having one with your riduur without any source to soul-bond knowledge, however, is another piece of work. Putting a mental shield up against your own riduur feels wrong but you do it anyway, respecting his privacy to his own mind.

Until today.

Today, you feel a gentle nudge at your brick wall of a mental shield, laced with Din's warm force presence. You could've brushed him off and shielded yourself better, but you thought to yourself that a small peak wouldn't be bad.

You're wrong. Oh, you're so wrong because it's bad. Your hand directly flies towards your mouth and you try to stifle a moan as a yawn.

In his fantasy, Din had you bent over the meeting table and he's pounding into you. He has his hand on the small of your back, pressing you down to the table. You're completely naked against the table, pinned beneath the beskar of his armor. You can hear the filthy sound of his cock ramming into your sopping cunt. Din grabs a fistful of your hair, making you cry his name out loud, losing yourself to the stretch and the hard thrusts of Din's cock.

“Oh fuck-” you grit your teeth, clenching your fist on your thigh. You sit there, stunned, breathless, unable to stop watching.

“Can you feel how good this pussy stretches around me, rid’ika?” Din grunts, holding you so close to his hips while his fingers reach down, rubbing your swollen clit. “Such a good girl, do you wanna cum, mesh'la? Wanna soak my cock and make me give you another ik’aad?”

Maker, yes! You thought, trying your damn hardest not to whine while the version of you in his mind is whimpering and begging him to make you cum. Din leans to your ear, telling you to come. You’re shuddering in his arm, moaning his name in a punched out noise with a telltale sign of orgasm, and you snap yourself out of his imagination.

You put your strongest mental shield up and you lean to the plush seat, blinking and looking around the room as you settle yourself back to reality. Din is sitting on the head of the table, looking over his own datapad as he watches a member of his council talk about Mandalore’s quarterly budget report. If you didn’t know better, you’d think your riduur is actively listening to the report instead of daydreaming about fucking you over this very table.

You tread carefully when you're back home. You put Aranar and Grogu to sleep late, making sure they are a little bit more tired than usual so they sleep soundly later tonight. Once the kids are out like lights, you take the baby monitor with you and change into one of Din’s loose shirts.

You find him still seated on the dining table, tapping things into his datapad. You smirk to yourself, walking towards him and leaning over the dining table to take your own datapad that you could easily reach if you make an extra trip to the end of the table. Din can't stop staring, making no move to help you, instead he stands up from the chair and moves to cup the swell of your ass, just like how he imagined before.

“Careful, rid’ika, you don't know what kinda game you're playing here.”

You whine when his hand moves underneath the shirt, trailing up your thigh, sending shivers up your spine. He whispers praises to your ear, biting down your jaw and your neck.

“Fuck, look at you, mesh'la, you're expecting this, huh?” He lifts the shirt up, revealing nothing underneath other than your glistening cunt. “I haven't even done anything, rid'ika, and this pretty pussy's already all wet for me.”

You moan softly when his fingers find your clit, rubbing on it as you shudder in his arms. Din sinks two fingers into your wet heat and he groans when he feels how wet you are. He thumbs on your clit as he keeps pumping in and out of your cunt, spreading your arousal all over his fingers and your inner thighs until you shake beneath him, then he pulls off of you.

“No, cyare please, I'm so close- Ah!” You cry as his fingers leave you, only to moan loudly when he kneels behind you and he slaps your soaked pussy.

“Needy girl,” he teases, slapping your clit again, ignoring your cries. He parts your folds with his tongue until his smart mouth finds your clit and he starts sucking on the sensitive nub. You grip the edge of the table tightly as you grind against his face, smearing your arousal all over his lower face. Din tuts, holding your hips in place, chuckling when he sees your hole clenches around nothing.

“You know what you get for being such a good girl, cyar’ika?” Din asks, his fingers are back on your clit, rubbing the bundle of nerve in a tight circle as you buck violently against his fingers. “Good girl gets to come on my face.”

His lips are back on you, kissing, lapping, and sucking until you're a whimpering mess. You let out a high pitched whine and you come on his mouth, flooding him with your arousal as he keeps on sucking on your lips as you ride your orgasm.

Din grabs your chin towards him and he kisses you hard, his lips are glistening with the mixture of your cum and his spit and you can taste yourself on the tip of his tongue. Din pulls off of you and he turns you around, lifting you up to the edge of the table. He lays you down and he parts your legs with a steady hand on your inner thigh, keeping them apart so he can admire his hard work, your drenched cunt glistening with your sweet come. Din groans then he spits on your cunt, adding to the mess before smearing everything around with the thick head of his cock. He's painfully hard, his foreskin is pulled all the way back, revealing the flared tip, steadily leaking precum all over you. He lines himself up with your entrance and fucks all the way into you in one push. You watch as his thick cock stretches your hole, feeling yourself clinging to his girth, fluttering around him as you struggle to take his size. Both of you moan when he finally buries himself deep inside you, still holding tight to each other.

“Maker, been thinking about this sweet pussy all day.”

Oh, I know. You thought. “Yeah? Did you think about fucking me, ner riduur? Thought about how my pussy clenches around your cock? Did you think about filling me up with your cum until I'm swollen with your adi'ka?” You taunt him, circling your legs on his hips to keep him buried deep inside of you.

“Fuck!” Din swears, hissing while he steadily leaks precum all over your wet heat, leaning his head to yours and rutting deep against your sweet spot. “You're playing with fire, rid'ika. Can't just say things like that.”

“But I want you to,” you beg, moaning wantonly when he starts pumping in and out of you. “Want you to keep fucking me until I'm so full and swollen with your baby.”

Din growls, pounding deep into you with punishing pace. He's watching you, watching your cunt swallowing his cock, watching your face grow slack with pleasure. You slip your hands under the shirt, covering your breast and squeezing them, making your milk leak until there's a wet patch over the shirt.

“Filthy girl,” Din grunts, pawing on the piece of clothing. “Lift it up baby, let me see.”

You lift the shirt up, revealing your breasts for him, shiny from both milk and sweat. Beads of your milk trickling from your nipples, leaking steadily as he fucks into you. He slips one engorged nipple to his mouth, sucking until he can taste you on his tongue while his fingers play with the abandoned one, rubbing and squeezing, spraying him with milk.

“Everything about you is just so sweet, rid'ika, my perfect girl.” He praises. He licks your nipple clean before switching to the other side, pressing open mouthed kisses before bringing the sensitive buds to his mouth and sucking on it, drinking you until he's full while his hand loves on the other one. His cock never stops pounding into you, bringing you closer and closer with each snaps of his hips.

He folds your legs into a mating press, tucking your knees against your chest and his cock is so deep inside you. So deep he reaches your cervix, kissing your womb with his tip. You clench hard around his length, your wall seizes violently around him, milking him irresistibly as he keeps hitting the spot that makes you see stars, begging him to please, never stop. You're wailing as your whole body shakes, tipping your head back and moaning Din's name so loud he has to cover your mouth with his palm, worried the filthy noises of the snap of his balls slapping your ass, your loud moans, and the squelching sound of your wet pussy might wake the sleeping kids up.

With a shaky shudder, you come down from your high, whining as Din keeps fucking you, chasing his own orgasm. After a few brutal thrust, your riduur groans loudly, shouting punched out moans as he peaks. His cock twitches in your soaked, messy cunt, filling you with his hot cum, flooding your insides and claiming you his. He kisses your lips, muffling both your moans, only parting to plant another kiss to your temple while he pumps you full of his cum, murmuring sweet, loving praises and filthy promises to you.

“That's a good girl, rid'ika. Take it, baby, gonna get you all round and pregnant. That's what you want, right? Want to give me another? Want to be bred all over again?”

Din keeps rutting with you until you both shake from overstimulation and he gently pulls out of you. He admires your blissed, fucked out face, trailing soft kisses down your jaw and your neck, sucking his marks all over your body. You tip his jaw up and catch his lips in another kiss, laced with a content smile, before breaking away to whisper sweet I love yous to each other.

Din gathers you in his arms, carrying you to the bedroom and lowering you gently into your shared bed. He leaves for the fresher, fetching a damp rag to clean you up before slipping into his side of bed beside you. He pulls you close, kissing your lips lovingly and rearranges the covers, tucking you into his arms.

“You're my dream girl, you know that right?”

“I tried,” you smile contently, caressing the scruff of his jaw softly.

“You don't have to,” Din mutters, humming when you snuggle closer to him, pressing your heartbeat over his. “You're perfect just the way you are.”

You exchange more kisses, lazily making out in bed until sleep takes over, safely nestled in each other's arms.

About a few weeks later, you start to feel the tiniest flutter in the force.

[ofswordsandpens]

Okay compiling my most critical opinions on the pjo show so far (episodes 1 & 2)

The Gods' Conflict, Foreshadowing, & Big Three Kids

The show has seemingly dropped a lot of the foreshadowing and threat regarding the gods impending war over the theft of the lightning bolt. In the book, Percy remarks about how the weather's been inexplicably weird and extreme. When he gets to camp everyone is on pins and needles about something and they don't want to talk about it but its still very present. By the time he's claimed as a son of Poseidon and everyone's like "oh fuck" and then Chiron finally explains to Percy that the gods think he's the lightning thief, everything clicks into place for the reader. It all makes sense why everything seems so wrong... because things are wrong. Meanwhile in the show, that doesn't carry through as much, so the reveal of the conflict between the gods and why that's a big deal falls flat in comparison imo.

They dropped/stalled the foreshadowing of the fates and the cutting of the string. They could very well include this in future episodes, and probably will, but I think the timing of it - Percy seeing this before he even knew he was a demigod - again carries some hefty significance and helped set the foreboding tone of things being wrong even from the beginning.

They did drop Zeus's attack on Percy in the minotaur battle completely, which does disappoint me. In the book, its lightning that blasts the car off the road. In the show, Sally seemingly loses control of the car. That change is pretty significant, because it's again losing the power of RR's foreshadowing in the book. The attack on Percy outside the camp borders was a duel attack from Zeus and Hades.

Finally, I don't like the changes they made to Percy's claiming scene, namely, the reaction from the rest of CHB. Percy being a son of Poseidon is a huge deal. When Percy's claimed, the attitude is very much begrudging reverence paired with genuine fear of what it means and what he represents. In the book, Percy is claimed. People gasp. Everyone kneels. Annabeth says, "This is really not good." In the show, Percy is claimed. People... stand there? Annabeth smiles - she's going to get her quest. The only person who has the most outright negative reaction is Luke. I won't go so far to say this is out of character for Annabeth, but it is focusing on an entirely different aspect of her character in the moment, and what the audience gets from Percy's claiming scene here, the tone, is now different from the book. Basically, the reverence and fear don't really carry across to the show, which I think is important.

The phrase "forbidden child" slaps tho.

2. Gabe's Characterization, Sally's Characterization, & Why the Changes do Make a Difference

I'm going to say this with great care: The show has absolutely depicted an abusive relationship between Sally and Gabe. The show has shown Sally to be a strong woman who would do anything for her child. The show has shown Gabe to be a controlling, toxic man.

What they have depicted in the show does not read like the characters and dynamic in the books.

Book Gabe is a violent, menacing drunk. He is so disgusting and vile that monsters avoid him. This is overwhelmingly apparent from the second Percy gets home in the book, even before he is aware of the physical abuse Sally has been facing. Percy has already been dealing with physical abuse from him, amongst other things (edit to be more specific: this is including verbal, emotional, & financial abuse). I've already spoke to it here, in-depth, so I'll try to keep it short but all of this has not been translated accurately to the screen. (Is this to say that a person must be overtly abusive to be abusive? No. But does this character on-screen feel like Smelly Gabe? No.) These things have shaped Percy (and Sally) in very specific ways. As others have mentioned: Percy cannot stand alcohol. He meets Dionysus and is reminded of his step-father. He gets to Tartarus and the air reminds him of Gabe.... The character on screen, while abusive, does not share this presence at all, and that makes a difference.

Edit: To emphasize once more, I am not saying that the show has not depicted a realistic portrayal of abuse. It has (verbal, emotional, & financial so far). It has also distinctly changed the tone and Gabe's presence from the book, to the extent that it no longer feels like the same character and that does have a rippling effect on the dynamics he shares with both Sally and Percy.

3. The Lack of Annabeth

Annabeth in the show is just like... really not as present as she is in the book so far, and I'm just kinda like, why lol?

Annabeth in the books is already way more involved in Percy's life. She was in the infirmary feeding Percy ambrosia after the attack (ulterior quest motives lol), she's the one who lead Percy around camp and re-explained godly parentage to him - and its a moment where she's very sincere with him, and even trying to help him! Instead these moments are given to Chiron and Luke, which I do get the merit of, but still, these were her moments!

Annabeth in the books had already surmised that the gods were fighting, something was stolen, and the something bad was going to happen, all before Percy had even been claimed. And she shared that with him! Again, the loss of foreshadowing and little bonding moments has me :(

I'm a little worried how they're going to deal with her crush on Luke because its pretty central to her character in the books! It helps Luke to manipulate her and also keeps her from admitting he's done something wrong. Also, it was very sweet and funny reading her get flustered - It drove home the point that she was just a kid with a crush that she didn't know how to handle. But in the show Luke spoke to her and I was expecting there to be some sort of reaction to it and there just... wasn't? (This is not something I'm laying at Leah's feet btw! Only the writers/directors!) We're only two episodes in tho so maybe we'll see it some more moving forward.

4. The Minotaur Battle

Again, I've already spoken about this in depth here but !!

The lack of Zeus's lightning strike, them all coming to a standstill and just chatting instead of running for their lives, Grover being awake and just sort of off to the side watching the fight, Sally being like "Promise Me Grover Swear it"... it all just doesn't ring right to me

I wanted more panic, more terror, more urgency. Higher stakes. I wanted Grover unconscious, I wanted to see Percy drag him into camp, and I wanted to see more of Percy's grief alongside his rage. Like the book did.

The pacing in the show here, and just overall, is weird

5. Other Stuff

Mrs. Dodds fight kind of fell flat too. It was honestly too sudden and Percy killing her in the show seemed even more accidental than in the book lol. Like, accidental impalement vs intentional swing of the sword.

They really had show Grover throw Percy to the wolves and not just gaslight him, but low-key have a part in getting him expelled? Not sure how I feel about it tbh.

More New York. I wish we had gotten the part of Percy taking the bus home with Grover included cause like? Him ditching Grover was funny, but it would have been the perfect opportunity to show Percy traveling through New York and establish it has his home. Shots of him looking at the city, walking the streets, interacting with people near his building.. yeah.

More Montauk too tbh. Like more shots of him and Sally on the beach rather than just the cabin.

Nectar and Ambrosia! Unless I missed it, which I might have, why have we still not gotten an onscreen depiction of it yet lmao.

[sailortongue]

Wingteam

pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

wc: ~1.5k

summary: the team decides that Spencer is in need of a date and they're going to be the ones to help him. But there's just one problem that the team doesn't know about: Spencer already has a girlfriend

a/n: this is my first time writing for criminal minds so they're probably all out of character but pls bear with me. binged the first four seasons in a month and i'm completely hooked on the show and spencer so hopefully i'll write more and improve characterization. any feedback would be super appreciated!

------

Spencer Reid was a rather private person, preferring to keep his private life just that: private. But it was getting progressively harder to explain why he didn't want to participate in group outings to the local bars. Truth be told, all he wanted was to get home to you and cuddle on the couch. Not that his teammates knew you even existed. It wasn't that he was ashamed of you! No, never. How could he ever be ashamed of the most wonderful thing in his life? No, it was because he knew he'd never hear the end of the teasing, especially from Morgan. And so he had decided that he would keep you all to himself, after discussing with you, of course. You had no issue with him not disclosing your relationship with his coworkers. However, it was this secrecy that led him to this horribly uncomfortable moment.

“You don't get to weasel out this time, pretty boy. You're coming with us even if I have to manhandle you there,” said Morgan. “And you're not leaving that bar without a girl on your arm,” he added, finger pointed at Reid in an accusatory manner.

It took all of Spencer’s willpower to not outwardly grimace. Like hell he was going to leave with any girl that wasn't you. “I’m not looking for a relationship right now,” he declined. It wasn't exactly a lie; he was already in a relationship, afterall.

“Oh, c’mon, Spence, don't you want to settle down one day?” chimed in Emily. “I bet you'd be an amazing husband.” She redirected her attention, “We just have to find the future Mrs. Reid, right Morgan?”

Morgan smirked, “Sounds like a plan.”

“No. There is no plan. Stop scheming. I told you, I’m not looking for a relationship. And even if I was, I don't think I’d need a team of FBI agents to help me get a date,” Spencer tried to discourage his friends, but to no avail. In fact, it just seemed to egg them on.

“Reid, I’ve never seen you go out with anyone. We’re getting you laid tonight and there's nothing you can do about it.”

“Never seen me go out with anyone? Should I be inviting you along to my dates?”

The sarcasm wasn't lost on Morgan, who rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean.” He turned to look at Garcia, “Hey, babygirl, you wanna help us land Reid a date?” The grin that Morgan had whilst asking was soon mirrored by the technical analyst in question.

“Do you even have to ask, sugar?”

A quick glance around the bullpen at his gathered teammates told him that no one was going to help him get out of this. Spencer’s expression changed to one of panic, but not for the reason that his friends assumed, i.e. that he had no experience with girls and was just nervous. Much to his chagrin, Hotch made a different deduction, and whilst everyone else was discussing their plan for later that night, he leaned down to Reid, “Why don't you just tell them you have a girlfriend already?”

Spencer, who was nowhere near as skilled as Hotch at hiding his emotions, had shock written all over his face. He opened his mouth to question how Hotch knew that, not even bothering to deny it. But Hotch answered before Spencer could even ask the question. “I’m a profiler. To be honest, I'm surprised the rest of the team hasn’t figured it out. Rossi has a suspicion, though.” And with that, Hotch stood back up to his full height and resumed conversation with the team, asking what time they had decided to meet.

I’m so screwed thought Spencer.

--------

“I’m so screwed,” Spencer announced to you as soon as he walked into your shared apartment, dropping his satchel in the entryway. You looked up from the book you were currently reading, “What happened? Are you okay?” You closed your book and set it on the coffee table, giving your perfect boyfriend your full attention. He sighed and joined you where you were reclined on the couch, lying down and placing his head on your tummy, wrapping his arms around you in the process. You smiled down at him gently and brought your hand up to play with his curls, eliciting a satisfied groan from him. “What's eating you, Spence?”

He tilted his head up before answering, “I have to meet the team at a bar later tonight.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion, not seeing what the issue could possibly be. “Ok? Why is that a problem?”

He adjusted himself to be propped up on his elbows on either side of you. “It’s a problem because they've all decided that I'm in need of a girlfriend,” he huffed. Despite your best efforts, you couldn't contain your laughter at Spencer’s obvious distress over the situation. You truly meant no offense, but he was just so gosh darn cute.

“Spencer, sweetheart, why don't you just tell them?”

“Honestly, at this point I just want to see how long it takes them to figure it out without me outright telling them. We're not supposed to profile each other, but it becomes second nature due to the job, so they're bound to pick up on it eventually. Hotch already knows, and he said that Rossi is suspicious. The others haven't caught on yet, but now Morgan wants to be my wingman for the night. How am I supposed to play this off?”

You thought about it for a second before an idea came to mind, a sly grin sliding across the features Spencer loved oh so much. “You're going to do exactly what Morgan wants.”

Spencer blanched, immediately objecting to your words. How could you even suggest that?

“Hold on, I’m not done. I’m not sending the love of my life out to flirt with anyone that isn't me. So what we’re gonna do is….

--------

“Oh, what's this? Did pretty boy find a pretty girl?” teased Derek. His friend practically looked like those wolves from vintage cartoons with hearts for eyes and tongue rolling out of their mouths. His question caught the attention of the rest of the table, all of whom saw Spencer with his eyes trained on a lovely young woman sitting at the bar.

“You should go talk to her!” encouraged Penelope.

“Oh, she's so pretty!” exclaimed JJ. “I agree with Pen, you should definitely go talk to her!”

Hotch watched as the rest of the team, all at least a few drinks in, hyped Spencer up with intoxicated enthusiasm. He had a barely-there smile on his face, watching the events unfold. He watched as Spencer’s face got redder and redder with the attention. As entertaining as this was for the others, it was infinitely more entertaining for Hotch, since he was certain that the woman at the bar was Spencer’s secret girlfriend.

Finally, Spencer gave in to his friends’ demands and approached the bar, seating himself beside the woman. Beside you. Knowing his friends were watching, he had to pretend as if he was meeting you for the first time.

“Can I buy you a drink?” he offered.

You glanced at him coyly before accepting his offer. At some point, the two of you fell into the usual rhythm of conversation you always had, speaking to each other in a way that betrayed how close you really were.

Back at the table, Rossi leaned over to Hotch and gestured for Hotch to lean in as well. “That's the kid’s girlfriend, isn't it?” he whispered. Hotch pulled back with an amused expression and gave the slightest nod, confirming Rossi’s question. Meanwhile, Morgan was placing a bet with Garcia about how long it would take for Reid to leave with you. Morgan was confident that it would be within the next thirty minutes, stating that Reid, who wasn't the most socially adept but was having such a lively conversation, must have really hit it off with you. They watched as Reid spoke to you, all smiles and wild hand gesticulations. And then there was you, the pretty woman who, unbeknownst to the team (minus Hotch and Rossi), was already irrevocably in love with their resident genius long before they took it upon themselves to be a whole wingteam. The radiant smile you wore matched the one Spencer had as you responded to him just as enthusiastically as he had been speaking.

Unfortunately for Garcia, Morgan won their bet. The two of them watched as Reid leaned in to whisper something in your ear. When he pulled away, there was a prominent blush on your face that the minimal amount of alcohol you had couldn't possibly be responsible for. You nodded at him, and he stood from his stool, offering his hand for you to take, which you did as you followed him to the exit.

“My man!” called Morgan from across the bar, raising his beer in Spencer’s direction. Hotch and Rossi chuckled, exchanging glances and shaking their heads. The rest would figure it out eventually. It might be when they receive a wedding invitation, but eventually nonetheless. 

[sunflowerwizard]

I've seen enough people mischaracterizing Early Access Wyll, so here's the best breakdown of his original character I can give.

I'll start this off by plainly summarizing Wyll's EA backstory, some of his core personality traits, then do a bit of analysis.

BACKSTORY

EA Wyll mentions being "born and bred in the upper city" into nobility. It's unspecified what exact level of influence his family occupied.

In datamined voice lines from EA (take with a grain of salt) Wyll refers to being from House Eltan specifically. Eltan was the Grand Duke of Baldur's Gate in the first Baldur's Gate Game, and the founder of the Flaming Fist. Forgotten Realms lore states that the Eltans are no longer in charge of the Fist and have somewhat diminished in power, but again. We don't know to exactly what level.

This also means that this iteration of Wyll was not Ulder Ravengard's son. While he still spoke about his father in EA, the descriptions and characterizations do not line up with Ulder at all. Additionally, he comments about "knowing of" Ravengard during the burning inn sequence, but otherwise makes no connection.

The most damning evidence of all that Wyll being a Ravengard was not originally intended, is Wyll wanting to be like his father and thus "going thieving in the wrong shadows".

Wyll gets caught stealing, presumably as a teenager, and his father uses latent connections within the Flaming Fist to get Wyll sent there. Effectively the fantasy equivalent of sending your unruly kid to boot camp.

Wyll mentions that he didn't adjust well to life as part of the Flaming Fist, was not a very good fighter, and was generally not well liked. The goblin at the windmill calling Wyll "Captain Failure" implies he might have been given higher status despite not earning it.

The way Wyll feels about goblins is a big change between EA and full release, and is explained as part of his backstory.

We didn't get the finer details, but we can assume Wyll in his time with the Fist bore witness to a group of goblins razing a village. Horrified and enraged, he tried fighting a goblin, was overwhelmed, and had his eye torn out.

This is when Mizora showed up and offered him a pact. Considering he was left for dead and probably going to bleed out, it's pretty understandable why he took the deal.

Mizora is not nearly as present in Early Access as she is in the current game. Karlach was not involved in Wyll's story at all, there's no devil transformation.

It's also more heavily insinuated there's a sexually coercive element of Wyll and Mizora's relationship, with him speaking to how every time he wanted to leave her, she found some way to pull him back.

Additionally, Wyll wants out of that contract. Unlike full release where Mizora is randomly captured in Act 2, she starts off kidnapped, and insists she'll let Wyll go if he frees her

It kind of ended up being a plot cul de sac, but Torturer Spike was the goblin that took Wyll's eye--which was a quest item you could pickpocket/loot off his body. Wyll had commentary on it and everything.

TL;DR: -Born to a noble family with Flaming Fist connections -Caught Stealing and sent to work for the Fist as punishment -Tried to fight back during a goblin attack and was gravely injured -Mizora offers a pact -Uses his pact to become a traveling monster hunter, presumably to make up for his past failure to protect people. Antagonistic towards goblins in particular -Ultimately wants out of the pact, but Mizora won't let him go -Wyll and Mizora get abducted by Mind Flayers -Mizora agrees to let Wyll go if he frees her from the cultists

PERSONALITY

This is a bit less concrete than changed story beats, but I can say this: a lot of Wyll's core traits stayed intact between EA and full release. He's still willing to put his life on the line for the Tiefling refugees, with a whole cut line about how the kids he's training deserve to have a carefree childhood. He wants to do good in the world, probably because he spent so much time in his youth feeling like a fuck up.

There's also a much clearer divide between "Wyll" and "The Blade of Frontiers". Notably, in EA he didn't introduce himself by name. Not even a "my friends call me Wyll" quip at Shadowheart like he has currently. During his old romance scene, he has a line about being used to being the hero, and not used to needing one. He's a symbol. An emblem of something bigger than himself. The fact he's so self-aggrandizing as The Blade makes it apparent he's not confident in himself as "just Wyll"

He's also decidedly more forward and flirty in EA, with no reservations about courtship. In fact, the main obstacle to your budding relationship is Mizora herself. Wyll's trauma from her treatment interrupts your first night together. Whether you have sex or just snuggle, Wyll has a line about how he doesn't want to start a relationship until he can "give himself completely" after being freed from his pact.

THOUGHTS & COMPARISONS

I'm also not entirely sure if I'd say EA Wyll is substantially angrier than current Wyll, so much as he had more opportunities to be angry during Early Access. I can understand why the goblin stuff was cut, because it did dip into "Let's make the one black guy fantasy racist" trope. However, it did very much feel like the narrative was pointing in bright, flashing colors that this is a trait Wyll would have to grapple with, learn, and grow from. The fact EA Wyll's most glaring character flaw was scrapped and didn't get much of a replacement in full release makes his story feel less realized.

While I appreciate the overtly sexual element of Wyll and Mizora's relationship was removed, I feel like the final version is somehow even more creepy. During Early Access she existed in the background as a vague villain you only experience via Wyll. And if you do his romance scene and see the way he panics at the mere memory of her, you get the impression of oh shit. This broad is bad news and I've gotta get my boy out of there. The same principle behind not showing the big scary monster too early in the horror movie. Once you've seen it, you can't let your mind fill in the blanks. Mizora went from this intimidating figure whose motives you couldn't fully ascertain, to a mean girl that thinks she's smarter than everyone else but is really just the bumbling lackey of a bigger fish. Who pulls Wyll around with an actual metaphysical leash like a dog. And you're meant to find this sexy.

My final point, and I've said this before: current Wyll's personality seemed more suited to being a scion of house Eltan, while EA Wyll seemed more suited to being Ulder Ravengard's dissapointment son. Current Wyll speaks and carries him like someone raised in nobility despite only being elevated to such status as a teenager. Perhaps this is cynical and maybe even a bit of a conspiracy theory, but I genuinely think he's only Ravengard's son to save on time and assets. Why give Wyll a whole unique family with its own story when we can just tie him in to the "rescue the grand duke" plot, regardless of how much sense it makes!

[rubydubydoo122]

could you talk more about fanon vs canon tim drake? i havent gotten too far into the comics yet but have seen a lot of him (mis?)characterized by others

Just a preface, I'm not gonna crucify any Tim fans who find themselves writing these tropes, because it is fandom, and everyone's allowed their own interpretations of the character, I'm just personally not a fan of these takes on Tim because in my mind they just don't make sense for the character. If anyone has differing opinions, feel free to (politely) explain them to me, because I'm happy to hear them.

Ok, so much like Fanon Dick Grayson, there are two versions of fanon Tim Drake.

There's version A.) where where he's one minor inconvienience away from becoming a supervillain (I understand where this one comes from and I don't HATE it) and there's version B.) where he was criminally neglected as a kid and is infantalized (This version of Tim I Loathe)

I'll start with version A. I see where it comes from. Mainly the Red Robin 2009 run, but we have to remember that Tim was grieving pretty much everyone close to him during that era. He was being self destructive because of that grief, and yeah, grief changes a person, but Tim is the type of character who would still turn out good despite all the hurt handed to him. Oh! But Gun Batman-- Tim actively chose against being that. He would rather kill himself than let himself become a version of Batman who went against everything Batman stood for. I know there are multiple storylines where Tim meets and evil future version of himself, but those versions would constantly be like a weight on him to be good. All in all, if I had to choose between the fanon Tim Drakes, I would choose villain Tim Drake, as long as it's done in more of a character-study way rather than a 'He deserves to go evil, as a treat' because it's an interesting take with the right motives.

Now onto Version B. Loser Tim Drake. The reason I Loathe this version of Tim is because it usually involves Characters Assassination of the characters around him. Ok, so do I agree that Tim Drake was somewhat neglected? Yes. But goddamit, the way I see Jack and Janet portrayed, you would think that they were running from the feds or something. They were good people, just bad parents. Maybe a little immature to raise a child, but it wasn't to the point where they would probably need to call CPS. Neglect isn't black and white, and the Drakes fell into that grey-- which I personally believe to be a lighter shade. You do have to remember that a lot of Tim's introduction was written in the 90's where parenting styles were a lot different compared to Today. Still, they sent him to boarding school, meaning they made sure that some form of adult was taking care of Tim AND a lot of people try to make Jack Drake out to be the villain for stopping Tim from being Robin, and blackmailing Bruce for it, but... It's What Any Sane Parent Would Do? I'm 18, but I know if I ever had a kid, and then fell into a coma and then woke up and found out that my Kid was fighting crime in one of the most CRIME RIDDEN CITIES alongside my middle-aged neighbor who dresses up like a furry I WOULD CALL THE FUCKING COPS. But enough about the Drakes. Because not only does Loser Tim Drake assassinate their character, but why is 17 year old Tim the victim when it comes to 10 year old Damian-- "Oh he tried to kill him' They're both trained by assassins. They're both trained. They're both Trained. Why Is a Junior/Senior in high school hurt by the actions of a 5th grader. I have a similar age gap with my younger brother. We have had pretty brutal fights and the next day we're fine. I'm not going to get into "Attack on Titans Tower AUs" but I will say this, Every Time I Start To Read One Of Those, I Lose Half Of My Hair Because of How Bad the Characterization Of Both Jason And Tim are. Please, Read, The, Comic. Jason Wasn't Trying To Kill Tim. If He Was, Tim would Be Dead. ANd Tim was Snarking Jason Through The Entire Confrontation. Lastly, Why Has DICK 'BAMF' GRAYSON TURNED INTO TIM"S NUMBER ONE OP????!!!! DIck IS LITERALLY TiM's ChiLDHOOD HEro!!!!! NoT BAtMAN, DICK GRAYSON. And like, not only that, Dick and Tim are the most brotherly. I'm Begging, Please go read a 90's comic. Why is it, the only time I see Dicks Manipulative side in fanon, It's in opposition to Tim? I bet it's bc of Teen Titans Go. I bet the only Tim and Dick interaction they've seen is TTG Robin going "No BOdy cARes AbOuT TiM DrAke"

Sorry that ended up becoming rant-y, and less objective. Since actually reading comics, fanon Tim Drake gets on my nerves.

[ladykatibeth]

I think some of the surprise there is for Izzy’s season 2 behavior is that a lot of the the fandom (even some Izzy fans) decided to base Izzy’s characterization entirely off of episode 9 and 10 (where he was honestly also probably having a bit a of a breakdown) when he’s at his most lowest and ignoring anything before that.

So while everyone’s here, (welcome new friends!) I’ll address something’s people have been surprised by, or have said is a new development.

1. “Talking it through”….Izzy is a very open character—Wait, here me out.

He is unintentionally very expressive. If you look at his expression it flits through emotions. He’s a pretty bad liar. His feelings are very on display, and he has a lot of them.

In terms of talking, he literally chases Ed around the ship trying to start a conversation about the plan. He explains exactly why he’s upset in episode 4. He’s also mean about it because he’s angry and he’s mean when he’s angry.

(Well I’d argue he’s anxious and he’s angry when he’s anxious and he’s mean when he’s angry)

This is one phrase we never see him disagree with in the first season, but I would argue he doesn’t fully endorse it.

Specifically “as a crew.” He doesn’t like showing vulnerability….in front of people. Intimate conversations are usually private. He’s the least posturing when he’s doing 1 on 1 conversations, for an infrequently used example, look at him ranting to Spanish Jackie like a friend on the phone before the navy people come in—and then he shifts. He will talk to people about feelings—in private.

2.Speaking of episode 4—Izzy’s care for the crew.

Izzy didn’t see the Revenge Crew as his crew up until his being named captain (neither did Ed, the co-captain conversation doesn’t occur until after Izzy’s been banished). He does express care for the QA crew having been lost in his resignation rant.

They are “the crew of the Revenge.” He’s not perfect though, he does risk Ivan and Fang in the navy deal, but given the fact he’s never done this before I assume most of this previous crew behavior is more in line with the first example than the second. He’s not nice, but he at least cares about about them staying alive.

3. Izzy apologizing/taking accountability.

I think the main thing here is people taking Izzy at his most pissed 100% at his word.

In episode 4 we see Izzy do his resignation rant—and he regrets it by the end. He takes back what he said and apologizes for it. Just because Izzy says something when pissed doesn’t mean those are his day to day feelings.

In episode 6 Izzy says Ed will rue this day—and then makes sure specifically to get him out of the way so he isn’t harmed. He expresses concern over Stede doing something to Ed’s brain, not anger at him.

Izzy isn’t incapable of reflection, his pattern is he gets angry says something, reflects when calmer and then either regrets or changes his mind.

So he’s like weeks of (relatively) calmer time to reflect and realize he played a part, Izzy is incredibly impulsive when mad but our impulses aren’t always our regular logical feelings.

(Also why I don’t like when people completely take his Ep 10 rant as his whole entire world view, he’s pissed and scared and saying hurtful things on purpose, that’s not the summation of him.)

[adobe-outdesign]

Kung Fu Panda 4 Rewrite Thing

Been chewing on this movie for a while now and wanted to take a shot at improving it. Some parts are a bit rough but I think this gets the general idea across.

As a rule, I'm trying to keep most of the characters and elements/plot beats in place rather than spinning things off in a completely unrelated direction. I also am aware of the restrictions placed on this movie, such as an unwillingness to rehire high-profile VAs and runtime limitations. This is just meant to be a "what if" kind of thing. That said:

We open with a stylized sequence of Po telling the story of his and the Five's latest battle. As it ends it's revealed he's at the grand opening of Mr. Ping's brand new bigger, better noodle shop location, talking to the customers.

As one of them asks where the Five are now, Po explains that they got summoned to their own individual missions, but they'll be back soon.

(Yes I am still having them be MIA, as Po needs to be alone with Zhen for part of the movie. However, they'll only gone for the first part of this rewrite and for a very specific plot-related reason.)

(The thing with Po needing to give up his title of Dragon Warrior makes no sense for multiple reasons, so let's just drop that plot point entirely. I get that it's meant to tie into the "change" moral, but I'd rather have Po imparting this lesson onto Zhen instead of learning it himself, as otherwise it undermines the character growth he had in 3.

Also, Po isn't carrying the staff around with him constantly in this rewrite, as it looks a bit silly and isn't plot relevant here.)

A messenger shows up to report that the Jade Palace is under attack. Po decides to rush over just in case Shifu needs backup... which he does, because he's being kidnapped in a small one of those magic-proofed cages from the actual film.

(Shifu being kidnapped was tossed around in the writing room originally and I want to keep it in this rewrite because it A) gives Shifu something to do, and B) I want to allow Zhen to openly be working with the Chameleon in order to help flesh out her character and avoid the lackluster plot twist, meaning she'll need new leverage against Po later on.)

The figure behind the kidnapping appears to be Master Elephant, which confuses Po as he's been missing for several months. Right as he's about to land a finishing blow, the figure shape shifts into Master Chicken, throwing Po's attack and resulting in him getting a bad head injury. He does his best to pursue the attackers, but can't keep up. Dismayed, he returns to the Jade Palace...

...And finds Zhen trying to steal something, using the commotion outside as a distraction. Po fights, but he's still badly injured and can't give it his all, resulting in Zhen being able to slip away with her prize—a dust bunny from under the furniture. Po is baffled.

(Side note: I would probably redesign Zhen so she actually looks like she matches the other characters' style, but I digress.)

Feeling dismayed, he returns to the noodle shop, where both his dads work on treating his wounds and comforting him. As Po explains what happened, Mr. Ping mentions that customers have been circulating rumors about a shapeshifting sorceress in Juniper City. Po decides that that's where he needs to go, promises his dads he'll be safe, and leaves.

(I'm cutting Mr. Ping and Li's subplot, because as much as I love them they don't really add much to the plot. It also feels like it goes against Mr. Ping's characterization in KFP 1 and 2 in particular.)

This is where we can have the scene of the Chameleon vs. the crime bosses. This can mostly stay the same except one of the bosses attempts to attack her when she shape shifts, causing her to retaliate with a magic-based attack. She also needs to straight-up kill the guy to establish her and her sorcery as a legit threat.

Po arrives at the Happy Bunny tavern to look for a ride to Juniper City. As he talks to Fish and Chip, he notices Zhen nearby doing some black market trading with Granny Boar to obtain a white feather. Po confronts her and she tries to run out with the feather, causing the boar family to pursue in a big fight scene.

Po and Zhen manage to escape, Zhen stashing the feather. Po threatens to have her sent to jail, but Zhen confirms she's working for the Chameleon and can lead Po to her so he can rescue Shifu. Po dislikes this situation, but has no choice but to agree.

(Unlike in the actual film, I would make it so her lair is hidden in some fashion; magic that keeps it camouflaged would be appropriate for a chameleon, or it could be underground or hidden behind something. Regardless, it should be impossible to locate without Zhen's assistance.)

On the boat ride over to Juniper city, Zhen says that she has to "obtain" one more item from the local history museum or she'll be in big trouble with the Chameleon. Po doesn't like this detour, but once again has no choice in the matter.

Po asks why Zhen would want to work for someone so obviously evil, and this is the point where Zhen admits she was adopted by the Chameleon and we get her backstory.

(I would establish that the Chameleon has an actual name, but only Zhen uses it. It shows that Zhen is closer to her than most, not quite seeing her as a mother but not fearing her enough to use her preferred title. Also, the Chameleon's the only KFP villain without a proper name and that bothers me.)

The backstory can be the same, but the part about her living on the streets and meeting the Chameleon for the first time should be merged into a single flashback.

Zhen says that Po couldn't understand, but Po reveals that he's also adopted, and that he probably would commit some noodle-related crime if his dad asked him to. Still, Zhen insists that people don't change, and that includes her.

They arrive at Juniper city (Po is impressed at its size but he very much is not acting like he's never seen a city before). Zhen covers up her muzzle and tucks her tail under her clothes so she won't be recognized.

Zhen is ready to break into the museum, but Po says that he's got this and goes up to the guards to tell them that he has some official Dragon Warrior business to take care of and will need to borrow some ancient artifacts.

Unlike in the actual film, everyone ready acknowledges him as the Dragon Warrior. The guards are more than happy to loan him whatever he needs... until Zhen's tail pops out and the guards recognize her, prompting them to attack.

During the scuffle, Zhen uses a chi blast to knock back one of the guards, but almost gets taken out by the other guard coming up behind her. Po defends her but gets mildly injured as a result.

After the fight, Po asks about the chi move and Zhen states that the Chameleon taught her the basics.

Zhen confirms that the Chameleon is a master of chi, and that the sorcery she uses is a specific type of chi manipulation.

(The reason I'm connecting chi to her powers is that it makes them feel a bit less out of left field, and helps 4 feel like a logical progression from 3.)

Zhen admits that she's not very good at using chi, but Po points out that it took him years to use chi in battle. He also compliments her on her kung fu, and she confirms she's self-taught.

(In this rewrite, Zhen is good at fighting but not quite at the level she is in the actual movie. This is to address the issue of who taught her if the Chameleon doesn't know kung fu.)

He takes a moment to give her a few pointers, which causes her to ask why he took that blow for her earlier, figuring there's a catch. Po just says it's the right thing to do, but Zhen is skeptical, figuring he only did it because he still needs her to lead him to Shifu.

The reminder of Shifu prompts Po to move on, and they grab the item Zhen was after, a 500 year old set of blades, then run for it.

Po and Zhen arrive at the Chameleon's lair, and Zhen shows Po how to get inside and tells him where Shifu is being held. She says that she'll take the items to the Chameleon, which will distract her while Po breaks him out. Po thanks her, and the two separate. Zhen warns him of booby traps on the way out.

There are indeed booby traps, such as those saw contraptions from the actual movie and a bunch of guards. It takes Po a few minutes, but he eventually gets through them.

Po finds Shifu being held in a dark room. Shifu is glad to see him, but warns him to be careful as the Chameleon's likely not far away. Po explains Zhen's distraction and moves to free him... only for a cage to fall down and trap him as well.

"Shifu" is then revealed to be the Chameleon in disguise, who slips through the bars via shape shifting into a mantis and thanks Zhen for her help. Zhen apologizes to Po, who's naturally upset ("I mean, I know you were evil, but I didn't think you were THAT evil").

Zhen hands over the three items she collected, and it's confirmed what they are: a dust bunny that contains a clump of Tai Lung's fur, a feather from Lord Shen, and a pair of blades once wielded by Kai.

Po mistakenly interprets this as the Chameleon being a collector of kung fu memorabilia and tries to chat about the Jade Palace's collection, much to her bafflement.

The Chameleon explains that a trace of a person's chi remains long after their death, and demonstrates by doing The Tongue Thing on Kai's blade, stripping its chi, and immediately taking his form.

(As you may have picked up on, this rewrite removes the spirit world elements entirely. While they are really interesting, I think cutting them is the best option because:

1. There is so much plot involved with bringing Po's old enemies back that you could make that an entire movie in and of itself. It's hard to do it justice when you're cramming it in around the edges of this movie.

2. It makes the Chameleon too similar to Kai in terms of abilities.

3. Having her rely on stealing other's kung fu makes her come across as weak despite being a powerful sorceress.)

Po asks her if her goal is to take over China, but she says no; she just wants to end the practice of kung fu for good, and prove that sorcery is the superior option. To prove it, she has Shifu brought in.

While having your chi stripped does not remove one's kung fu abilities in this rewrite, it is still removing part of one's life energy and thus weakening them severely for a period of time—ergo, Shifu is still unable to fight at his best. Still, he manages to hold his own.

Instead of using kung fu, the Chameleon relies on the brute animalistic strength and inherent abilities of the forms she takes, switching whenever she's loosing to keep her opponents on her toes and even transforming into Shifu himself for a period. She also uses a few chi-based attacks.

Just when it looks like Shifu is about to win the fight, she uses her tongue to strip the chi from the fur clump, taking the form of Tai Lung. Shifu is so shocked and distraught that he fails to attack, allowing the Chameleon to land a serious blow.

She returns to her original form and states that when the blood moon has risen, she will battle and take down every master in the middle of Juniper city, where everyone can learn just how useless kung fu and the people who teach it are. She leaves Po in his cage panicking over Shifu, who's unresponsive.

Zhen follows the Chameleon outside, where we get the "does the blood moon always rise so slowly" gag. Noticing that Zhen looks troubled, she asks what's wrong, and Zhen talks about how Po encouraged her to do the right thing. Even though she's been told that kung fu masters are elitist, selfish people, she couldn't see any of that in Po.

(Side note: I want to establish in this rewrite that while the Chameleon will claim up and down that Zhen is only a pawn for her to use, she does care about her to some extent, even though probably loathes the fact she does. For example, when talking to Zhen here, she might pick some rubble out of her fur or something to show there's a teeny tiny bit of actual affection hidden there.

The reason for this is that all other KFP villains have had an emotional anchor—Shifu for Tai Lung, Shen's parents for Shen, and Oogway for Kai. The Chameleon being abusive but having some real love for Zhen and Zhen struggling with her gaslighting adds a lot more depth to both of them.)

The Chameleon finally reveals her backstory, which should be told in a hyper-stylized way à la the flashbacks in KFP 2 and 3. Just like Zhen, she grew up on the streets as an orphan, broke and starving. She admired kung fu greatly and wanted to learn it, but everyone turned her away for having no money to pay for lessons.

One day, she found a shiny jade amulet on the streets that someone lost, finally giving her a much-needed break. She is able to use that money to enroll in classes.

The problem was that while the money changed her financial status, it didn't change the way people saw her. Her master still considered her a lowly gutter rat and treated her as such, verbally insulting her and beating her down during training sessions. It's very much like how Shifu treated Po in KFP 1, except worse, especially because the Chameleon is a small and fragile animal.

Finally, during one training session she became too injured to move. Her master told her to quit and started to walk away, only for her to grab his leg with her tongue to trip him up. However, at the peak of her self-loathing, she instead discovered her chi stealing abilities and transformed into him. It's not shown, but it is implied she killed him.

As the flashback ends, the Chameleon shifts into Zhen and tells her that no matter how much you change, you can't change the way other people see you. Siding with Po, she says, will only get her hurt. Zhen nods and unexpectedly hugs the Chameleon, telling her she knows, and runs off.

Cutting back to Po, we see him frantically trying to break the bars of his cage. Zhen comes forward and drops down on her hands and knees, apologizing for everything. Po says that she came back, and that's what matters.

She reveals that the "hug" was actually just a way for her to get the key off of the Chameleon, and she uses it to unlock Po's cage. Po runs over to Shifu and he and Zhen heal him with chi, and we get a callback to the "I'M NOT DYING YOU IDIOT" scene from KFP 1.

However, while Shifu's not dying, he is very badly injured and can barely walk on his own. Po asks how they can take on the Chameleon and her army with just three of them, but Zhen holds up the key and suggests they get an army of their own.

Running downstairs, Zhen reveals where the other masters are being held. To Po's shock, the Furious Five are among those captured. Tigress confirms that the summons they received were traps laid by the Chameleon, and she already has their forms.

Also down there are the other crime bosses, as it feels like they just disappear in the actual film after their scenes.

Zhen only manages to unlock the Five's cages before before the Chameleon snatches the key back with her tongue, revealing that she knew Zhen was lying to her. Behind her, her army assembles.

Tigress confirms that that the Five will take on the army, and Po faces off with the Chameleon one-on-one. She strips the feather and uses Shen's form to fly up and take the upper ground, trying to kick a cage onto him. Zhen helps deflect it, and the Chameleon tells her to stay out of the way. Po and her continue to battle.

Despite Po's best attempts at blocking it, she does finally stick him with her tongue. He grabs it and throws her a distance in her fragile base form, injuring her but still giving her some of his chi in the process.

The Chameleon takes on Po's form next, and we get a fight similar to the one in the movie, though once again with her using less kung fu and more magic and physical attacks.

She mentions how she was rejected and tries to tell him that he should be on her side, because a bit fat panda like him must have been treated just as badly as she was. Po denies this, but Shifu admits it's pretty accurate. Po says he's not helping.

Po admits that she has a point, except she forgot one thing, and we get a callback to the "I'm THE big fat panda" moment from KFP 1.

The two attack at the same time. As the dust clears, it's revealed that neither are doing great—Po has gotten a lot of little injuries and the chi stealing has weakened him. The Chameleon is struggling to shapeshift at all, with the attempt causing her pain, and instead settles for trying to blast him. Zhen steps in and manages to redirect the attack back at her.

The Chameleon takes the blow and ends up back on the floor as a parallel to her flashback. Zhen reaffirms that she disagrees with her worldview—people can change, and she's going to prove it. If the Chameleon wants get to Po, she'll need to get through her first.

The Chameleon kind of laughs this off at first before realizing she's dead serious. She states that Zhen isn't even good at fighting, but Po disagrees, giving Zhen a confidence boost. The Chameleon struggles to her feet as if readying an attack, everyone braces themselves... and she surrenders, too injured to fight and unable to bring herself to hurt Zhen.

(There are a few reasons why I think her surrendering makes for an interesting defeat here:

1. There's no spirit realm portal to yeet her into in this version;

2. There's only so many times Po's enemies can be yeeted directly into the spirit realm before it gets old;

3. It adds character depth, and;

4. It ties back nicely in to the theme of change and that it's never too late to do the right thing.)

Zhen helps the Chameleon up, Tigress does the same for Po, and Monkey does the same for Shifu. The five reveal that despite being exhausted, they still managed to wipe the floor with the Chameleon's army, which Zhen thinks is incredible. Po introduces Zhen to them formally, and Shifu asks if they can save the introductions for after they get medical treatment.

Later on, Po (carrying the staff Oogway gave him) approaches Zhen, who's sitting under the peach tree by the Jade Palace. He asks her if she's doing okay after everything that's happened. She says she's alright, but is pretty scared of what's going to happen next, given that the Chameleon's in jail and she has nowhere to go.

Po reveals that him and Shifu have been talking, and he plans to open a new school as part of the Jade Palace that will offer free kung fu lessons to anyone who's interested in learning. Zhen asks if there are any spots open, and we end similar to the actual movie, with her training alongside the five.

the credits still end with the Jack Black cover of Baby One More Time because it slaps

[stsg420]

stsg420’s fanfic recs!!! (on-going)

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SMUTTY CONTENT WILL LOOK LIKE THIS

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STSG

Knife-Edged Butterfly -> I rated this: 20/10

• suguru is a sexy girl-dad stripper. satoru is a “retired” assassin/special agent who loves chicken wings & annoying nanami (crazy!!!!) mahito is a deranged bitch trying to kill everyone. but holy fucking shit???? this was so amazing and the fluff was probably the most well-written and comforting fluff I've ever encountered on the internet. I can’t even explain how articulate and amazing the writing and characterizations in this fic are. This is my #1.

Coanda Effect -> I rated this: 11/10

• formula one au. I’m sure y’all have seen it everywhere. there’s a reason for that. this fic right here has the potential to be my favorite stsg fic EVER written. the writing. the depth. the character progression. the intertwining plots. the relationships. the drama. oh my fucking god. I could go onnnnn and onnnn. there’s not too much smut but it’s perfect. absolutely perfect. go binge read RIGHT NOW ITS ALMOST FINISHED!!!!

There you are -> I rated this: 9.9/10

• set during the 10 years after geto defects. they meet up, because of course they do. they fuck each other and love each other and leave each other like always. it’s sad and hot and angry and bitter and so so so canon. the diction and writing style perfectly encapsulates their relationship. nurse!geto makes an appearance :)))))) do not read if you’re having a particularly sad stsg night (speaking from experience)

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GETO

Washing hair and the quiet acceptance of being loved -> I rated this: 10/10

• this fic right here. the ultimate comfort geto fic (until mine is released🫡). I’m telling you this makes everything feel better. just 1k+ words of the fmc taking care of geto. because he is a princess and the loml and deserves nothing but the best care and treatment.

Ausländer -> I rated this: 9.9/10

• outlaw!geto, officer!gojo, and a badass fmc. she literally builds/runs her own town. this is a geto/fmc fic but there is unresolved tension with stsg. let me tell you, this is a work of ART. a MASTERPIECE. I wish I could get this tattooed on my brain. the fmc is soooo well written and has amazing depth. this is some delicious wild wild west type shit. lots of guns and saloons and chases on horses!!!! fucking incredible. I strongly urge you to read this.

Spin the Bottle -> I rated this: 9.8/10

• y’all already know. college au where suguru is your best friend, has the fattest crush on you & needs just a litttttlee bit of liquid courage to cross the line. it’s fantastic. it’s scrumptious. it’s indulging. it’s cover girl. I reread this twice a month. not joking. this is college suguru to his core and you can’t change my mind.

[oh-no-its-bird]

Been thinking about your team ro time travel and team ro defect crossover and I just. I've been rereading keanblade's stuff recently so i have a very specific tobirama in my head and the idea that he'd take one look at this group of sad dissilusioned young adults/children and be like guess i'm a father of 5 now and rewrite his entire priorities around that. Like, you mentioned in the of team ro time travel you liked the idea of having half hatake tobirama in the mix and i'm an enjoyer the idea hatake tend to just adopt children wily nilly like oh look more pack, I think i will thank you very much. Just tobirama absconding with this entire group that has no incentive to return to their own time and being like i'm the dad now (yes some of them are barely younger than him, no that doesn't change that he's everyone's dad fuck off). He gets to teach kakashi all kinds of hatake things! Show him how to be a little wilder like the hatake of the warring states! If you subscribe to the theory he helped hashirama learn how the mokuton worked he could tenzo with his mokuton. The funniest option is that somehow all of this leads to peace without izuna dying and they werent even trying for that. Like, tobirama just straight up ditching everything to take care of a bunch of depressed teenagers and a kid, over half of which are uchiha, and being SO fiercely protective of his little pack of murder children and the uchiha seeing this and being like. Huh. I thought that guy hated us? He just. Is living in the woods with three uchiha and treating them like his specialest little guys. An uchiha patrol runs across them and tobirama is patting itachi on the head for a good job learning whatever insane jutsu he's currently teaching team ro because those are his kids and of course he'd teach them to be as strong and terrifying as he could. Makes them think. Bonus points if this also somehow leads to madatobi and/or when the village does get built tobirama always looking to team ro before agreeing to any plans cuz they know what didnt work the first time, having not only been affected by it in the worst ways but left because of it in their time. Does this make the village better? Who knows. But they're certainly trying.

Sorry for the long thing, this has just been plauging my thoughts. I dont even know if i explained my idea well it's just been banging around in my brain for too long and i needed it out

Based off [THIS] au about Team Ro defecting from Konoha after Kakashi, having been told the truth of his fathers sabotaged mission and the slander campaign against him by Orochimaru, interrupts Shisui's murder at Danzo's hand, leading to the entire team + Sasuke to flee Konoha-- and then accidentally time travel into the warring states era, years before Konoha was set to be founded.

(This is already long, so the reply is below the cut ->)

OK FIRST OFF IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO REPLY TO THIS OOPS I HOPE I DIDNT KEEP U IN SUSPENSE

Woahh Keanblade mention !!! I love their stuff, they have some great fics and I love their brain. I haven't read their fics in a while actually, I should like go brush up on my keanblade lore / characterization at some point

IM YELLING THO IM SO ?? HONORED ?? TO HAVE SPARKED SMTHN IN UR BRAIN ACTUALLY, IM EATING THIS UP I LOVE IT THANK U SM FOR SENDING ME THIS I HAD SO MUCH FUN READING UR IDEAS !! AND YOU SENT ME SO MUCH TOO, SO MUCH FOOD TO DEVOUR ! Thank you for sending them to me I am giving you a little kiss right on ur brain

Tobirama really said "wow I can't believe I have to adopt these guys now"

Hashirama, probably: "Otouto you really dont have to--"

"I can't believe the world itself is making me adopt these sad, lost children."

"Children? Otouto, they aren't exactly--"

"I MUST take them in. I'm FORCED to, even."

"Tobi, no one is saying you--"

"I really have no choice in the matter. There are NO other options for them."

"Tobirama, please--"

The fact that Tobirama is like literally the same age as Kakashi and then they're just barely older than Shisui and Tenzo makes the whole thing so much funnier. It's probably for the best that he didn't try to dad them fr fr bc Im pretty sure the only one here without some form of daddy issues is like. Sasuke. Who is also 7.

(Which could be argued against tbh just depending on ur specific interpretation of Fugaku's dynamic w his kids on any given day)

So I imagine trying to actually parent various members of team ro comes with the risk of accidentally stepping on a landmine and potentially causing incredible violence and years of baggage to explode outward. I love my traumatized shinobi boys !!

Big brother Tobirama my beloved tho !!! Do u think he has complexes about being a big brother I think he has complexes and also that we should totally explore that, send tweet

Tobirama cave hermit arc !!! Madara had his turn, now it's his!

Team Ro really showed up, immediatley got thrust into an (unwilling, unwanted) custody battle, then got fucking SNATCHED by Tobirama before they could try and make a run for it, and just kinda,, decided to go with it? I guess? Fucking gold, actually. How the actual fuck did Tobirama convince them all to stay with him, the world will never know.

The man teleported the group of them into a forest alone, (instantly outnumbering himself) and went "this means I won the custody battle btw." and team Ro just went "I mean its better than being stuck with Uchiha Madara I guess." and went with it

Im not going to lie I fucking pictured Madara stumbling across the cave and team ro yapping at him like little chihuahuas and fucking lost my mind actually, needed to take a second to regain my sanity (in a good way)

Do u think Hashirama yells at Tobirama when he comes back home for publically kidnapping some mystery uchiha (plus others who were not very recognizable and thus do not matter as much) in front of the uchiha clan. Does Tobirama come back home? Does he just decide to become a cave hermit somewhere in the woods with his hashtag found family who may or may not fully want to be there? (they must, to some degree, want to be there-- if only because Tobirama Senju might be talented but he is also 18 at the time and nowhere near the height of his power. And Team Ro is many things, but unskilled is NOT one of them)

I forgot Tobirama knew ab the time travel for a sec and pictured him looking at Sasuke, this little clone of Izuna, and going "Hmm. You look exactly like my rival does and no doubt belong to the Uchiha main house."

"Does this mean you'll give us to the uch--"

"No."

(Finders keepers !!)

"Madara, the most uchiha uchiha in who knows how long before itachi and sasuke came along to give him a run for his money" is so fucking funny actually, I am internalizing that line and will probably suddenly think about it later at work and giggle to myself, I can already tell

If Izuna and Hashirama are both being little bitch boys in this I do need to advocate that they should totally get to kiss and be little bitch boys ✨ together ✨(the hashiizu agenda never dies) (let them begrudgingly get a drink together--though its Izuna who does most of the begrudging--get drunk while whining about their brothers, and then share a very ill advised kiss or two that Izuna will now deny ever happened till the day he dies)

I still think Tenzo should get to bond with Hashirama bc I love them getting to interact, but Im hearing your 'bad brother Hashirama' vibes for this spin off and nodding respectfully, so like. Maybe Hashirama can be sad about Tobirama monopolizing Tenzo, literally THE only other Mokuton user in the world's time, and be mad ab that too? I dont usually write explicitly bad brother Hashirama so I'm not too good at proposing how that could go tbh but I love the soap opera / dogblood drama vibes, it's so fun

I do think that some of team Ro could be useful at the peace talk / village planning meetings if they spoke up !!

Itachi may be young but is clan heir, and no doubt knows most of the modern day clan laws that Konoha would one day put in place, so he can suggest those knowing that it's what they'd eventually land on anyways.

Meanwhile Kakashi is the student of a Hokage, who watched over the shoulder of two different Hokage's, from ages 13 to present, so he absolutely knows a thing or ten about politics and running a village (at least from an outsiders perspective) Which. Actually technically makes him the most eligible / knowledgeable person like. In all of the peace talks when it comes to running a village which is fascinating. I'm jotting that one down to reference later in my original team ro time travel fic actually, there's a lot that can be done with that

ALSO !! If this is the 'team ro time travels to warring states era' au but like, with the team ro that defected from Konoha, they totally have Opinions(tm) about Konoha, which is so fun. I feel like Shisui has the sort of personality where he might actually be vocal about things when it comes to founding Konoha.

The way that the team stood whenthey left the village, Shisui and Itachi were both still majority village loyalists (though their loyalty had been deeply shaken)

Tenzo was high key "whatever my teamamtes say I will follow" but still has Konoha's roots buried deep into his heart.

Kakashi was the most complex-- the only one who it could truly be said was against the village, and for that I think he's interesting to play with and has motivation to get inolved in village making-- or the opposite; Want nothing to do with it.

IM YELLING ACTUALLY AT TEAM RO GENRE CHANGE THTS SO FUNNY

It was actually never time travel, it was straight up dimension travel. They fr went from a grimdark angst fic to a silly fluffy cracky fuckin, blessed eyes au where Tobirama is actually secretly a Good Boi(tm) and his indescribable riz and way with children make Madara forget about the whole mutual genocide thing

(Plot twist: Izuna and Hashirama arent actually bad brothers, they're just not aware of the genre they're in and reacting accordingly to their brothers doing a sudden 180 and ending the war with the ✨power of love ✨ and also adopting several teenagers (some of which are literally their age) who appeared out of nowhere, have no credentials, two of which are technically CONFIRMED BLOODLINE THEIVES (Kakashi willing and Tenzo unwilling, lab grown mokuton stolen from Hashirama's dna is STILL BLOODLINE THEFT, thanks Orochimaru) and are losing their GODDAMN MINDS over the turn of events)

Anyways this whole thing was a riot, I loved it and u are a master at silly fluff and comedy, I had a lot of fun reading what you sent me !!!

Ik u were aiming for silly fun so I hope my additions didnt take anything too seriously, I am in my shinobi politics 'writing everything as being played straight' era, so tried my best to stick with silly fluffy fun time comments instead of tripping and falling into the political implications of, like, a disillusioned with Konoha nukenin Kakashi, at the age where he was near his most depressed and apathetic, who is also technically the most qualified person in Fire to discuss making a village, being let in on village planning with implicit backing from both the Uchiha head and Senju heir. Or how itachi in the original (non nukenin) au was down to kill Madara, but the him in this au now has even more motivation to do it. N other fun implications like that

BUT LIKE I LOVE THE FLUFF I LOVE THE SILLY

politics free zone !!! we are not making eyecontact with the drama bc this is team Ro's vacation, actually

anyways THANK YOU FOR SENDING ME SUCH A WONDERFUL AND DETAILED ASK !!! UR BRAIN IS SO BIG FOR IT, I HAD SO MUCH FUN READING IT AND THINKING ABOUT IT AND IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO REPLY TO AND I JUST HOPE I REPLIED WELL ENOUGH SDKFJHDSFJKDSHFJSDk

umm and then they all lived happily ever after, the end

[desolate-skies]

omar epps is an incredible actor and he doesn’t get enough credit for the way he plays foreman???this man shoves an insane amounts of nuance into every scene he’s in, and that’s probably why foreman’s the fellow that’s changed the most between seasons one and two? and the changes have felt gradual/realistic?

also, i am FASCINATED by the characterization of foreman as an actor. you can see him adopt the traits he admires from the people around him—house’s cold, unwavering certainty; cameron’s gentleness towards patients; even his father’s emotionless perfectionism. as he gains confidence in himself, there’s this growing sense that the foreman we see onscreen is somewhat detached from the foreman that exists outside of PPTH.

he is PLAGUED by the fear that maybe he really isn’t good enough…not at medicine, not at friendship, not even at running away from his past. so he starts to construct masks, and the viewer can watch him put them on.

in the episode where he tells cameron that they’re “colleagues, not friends”, there’s this incredibly intentional beat where you can almost see foreman stepping into his approximation of house’s casual cruelty. and—if i’m being delusional here, do NOT tell me—once you see through the facade once, you can’t help but continue seeing it.

especially in the euphoria two-parter (which i literally paused to write this post bc i feel insane rn) where he’s truly Going Through It, it just feels like a character study? you see the mask, but more importantly, you see it slip and then crack and then shatter. and through the terror and the desperation, you can still recognize foreman. and maybe it’s even a foreman that’s closer to the one we meet in season 1? and that, i guess, is acting!

(also, his dad is there! which explains a little too much!!! this is why you never let your friends colleagues meet your parents…)

[transbutchblues]

could you please elaborate on your feelings on the gods' characterization in the wisdom saga? Not forcing you tho!

sure! keep in mind that i love EPIC and that even if i complain about things here, i totally respect the choices that Jorge makes. it’s his musical and i admire all the work put in the songs.

disclaimer : most of the time i try to dissociate EPIC from the Odyssey in my mind, because thinking of EPIC as an adaptation tends to make me upset due to how different it is. but it’s also amazing on its own! there are creative liberties that i deeply love (like having Odysseus know about Scylla but not telling anyone, and changing the context of the mutiny), others that i don’t like that much but that i can get behind, and others that i really dislike. i understand why everything is done the way it’s done, but i still have opinions.

before talking about the Wisdom Saga i’d like to explain how i felt about the gods in the other sagas. as a classics student and a hellenic polytheist i tend to dislike most modern portrayals of the gods, mostly because they’re usually flat and lack nuance. up until this saga, i had never been disappointed by any choice done regarding the gods in EPIC. they were all so interesting.

i loved Zeus in Thunder Bringer. it’s one of my favorite songs, and i found that Zeus was beautifully portrayed. he’s the villain, sure, he offers an awful choice (for the second time), but the situation was created by Odysseus and his men. i loved the lyrics and their double meaning.

this all fell apart in God Games, for me. it just didn’t feel like the same Zeus anymore. and as much as i try to dissociate EPIC from Homer’s epics, i love the Iliad and the Odyssey too much not to point out that Zeus would never be like that. in the Odyssey, Zeus immediately agrees with Athena on the fact that Odysseus must be freed from Calypso’s island. Poseidon is the only god who really wants to stop Odysseus, Zeus doesn’t exactly care about him. he knows Odysseus’ fate and he won’t go against it. besides, Athena is Zeus’ favorite daughter in Homer’s works. he loves her. he doesn’t like it when she defies her, that’s very clear in the Iliad, he even threatens her when she does that, but he loves her dearly and he gives her nearly everything she asks for. he would simply not strike her down like that. and Zeus has no reason to go against his own word. if he sets a challenge, he respects the terms. he’s a fair god, he’s a ruler, he’s all about divine justice. i don’t mind changes, but i dislike these ones.

and Athena… Athena was always the deity i felt the less sure about in EPIC. don’t get me wrong, i love her in the previous songs. but i never knew where exactly her character arc would bring her and i felt uneasy. now i know i was right to feel this way.

there had to be an explanation to the fact that Athena hadn’t helped Odysseus during the years he was imprisoned by Calypso. i understand why in EPIC, this explanation is that Odysseus and Athena fought and fell apart. in fact, i love My Goodbye. i think the way Odysseus is portrayed in the Cyclops Saga makes him way more of an asshole than he is in the Odyssey (and that’s alright by me!), because he’s stupid and hubristic and he refuses to listen to Athena. in the Odyssey, Athena never abandons Odysseus, she helps him during his entire journey. but if he had talked to her like he does in EPIC, she probably would have left him! i find their fight interesting, how cold Athena can be, how betrayed they both feel.

but! here comes the Wisdom Saga. and i love Athena in Little Wolf. i like her in God Games too. maybe even in Love in Paradise. but i can’t get over We’ll Be Fine, it just doesn’t sound right to me. i like Telemachus. but i hate that this is how Athena suddenly decides to go back to Odysseus. "i could sleep at night", really? why would she feel guilty about leaving a hero who refused to listen to her? i enjoyed how cold she was in My Goodbye, it was an interesting choice, and i would have liked for her to remain this way. or to change more slowly. the loneliness aspect could have been great if it had been explored more in depth (which i know wouldn’t have been possible since she doesn’t have enough songs to allow for slow character development). this just felt rushed and strange.

i would have liked for Athena not to reach out until Odysseus does. the moment where he cries out her name at the end of Love in Paradise is heart-wrenching, i love it. that’s when i would have loved for her to suddenly hear him and go back to him, instead of already being there. that would have been a moment where she could have decided to help him despite what he said and did, because she still cares about him and she sees him being so desperate. that could have been a moment where she feels guilty or lonely.

i know it’s done that way so that Telemachus saves Odysseus’ life by giving advice to Athena. it’s fine, it’s a nice idea. i understand why people like it, and i’m glad they do. it just feels off to me.

regarding the other gods: firstly, Calypso is great and i love her! now, on the other ones: i think instead of all this weird Zeus portrayal in God Games, it would have been nice to mention Poseidon. if there had to be a reason for Zeus not to want to release Odysseus, it could have been something to do with his brother. Apollo’s appearance felt unnecessary, his argument was weak, i’m still glad he was there but i didn’t love his portrayal. my opinion for Hephaestus is similar (though i liked his portrayal better, he just felt unnecessary), with another thought: i’m already starting to see more art of him and i really wish people would depict him as disabled, because not everybody does. i liked Aphrodite’s and Ares’ part, and Hera’s was fun. i don’t necessarily like the overall vibes of God Games but that’s just a matter of my music tastes, there are multiple songs in EPIC that i don’t really listen to because of that while still enjoying their role in the storyline.

obviously most people disagree with me, and i’m glad everyone seems to love that saga. some parts were just really not for me, namely, We’ll Be Fine, the beginning of Love in Paradise, and the end of God Games.

[starry-bi-sky]

Danyal Al Ghul's missed potential - this kid is not gonna behave like his canon self if he's with the league of assassins until his late formative years, and my reasoning why

(feel free to take this all with a grain of salt this is just my thoughts on it, this is all mostly amusing to me and isn't trying to be negative towards anyone else)

similar to how i was talking about how danny growing up in crime alley would affect him, demon twin aus with danyal al ghul make me laugh a lot (affectionate) because... whose teaching danny to unlearn all the ecofascism he picked up from the league of assassins? whose teaching him to be kind? to be gentle? Not the LoA thats for certain.

(you could plausibly say Jazz but she's only 2 years older than Danny and do you really expect a fellow child to properly explain why X is wrong to another child and have it be 100% effective? i don't doubt it'd help to an extent, but not in the same way an adult explaining it would)

plus a ton of other things, like whose teaching him to value human life? not the LoA. Whose teaching him how to adjust to living with American society after he ends up with the Fentons when he's 8-9-10? Who teaches him that killing is wrong, whose enforcing that?

(not the Fentons if you're going the neglectful parent route, and Jazz can try but i really don't think Danny is going to listen to her, a stranger who isn't even part of his grandfather's league)

How do you teach a child to value human life when the greatest development window for that opportunity has closed and he's already formed his own opinions?

You're not gonna get a Danny whose exactly like his canon attitude if he's staying with the league during his formative years (0-8 years old). you're not. You could get someone LIKE it, potentially, or someone who has traces of it or is similar -- like danny's wit and jokes and sarcasm, and on some level his kindness. but you're not gonna have a carbon copy. Development doesn't work that way. "nature" can only do so much in the face of nurture.

If anything, it doesn't even have to be a major change -- in the league he cans till be kind, but it's probably going to manifest in a different way than what is considered normal. Tough love, for one. But there's gonna be something that affects him negatively. Why make him 'always good/kind' when you can make him a brat who develops into a kinder (if spikier than in canon) person?

TLDR: Danyal Al Ghul would not be like how he is in canon if he's with the league until his late formative years -- not without any lasting pr permanent impacts from the league at least. Missed potential to make him an absolute nightmare like damian was -- especially in his early years when he first arrived to the Fenton house.

(this doesn't apply to danyal al ghul aus where he's either given to the fentons as a baby/is reincarnated/etc. this is mostly aimed for danyal al ghul aus where he fakes his death at like, 7-10 and somehow ends up, personality-wise like his completely canon self by 14 without any differences.)

(and even then if he's five or four, or even three, he would still be traumatized and influenced by the league. he'll just have more time to adjust. the sooner he leaves the league the more likely he is to be like his canon self, but not like an exact copy)

(more under the cut)

Anyways what I'm saying is that there is prime missed Danyal al Ghul potential to make him an absolute NIGHTMARE to the Fentons however way he ends up with them, just like Damian was with the Waynes! Cuz why does Damian get all the fun? Danny got the same training and endoctrine as him! He is also an ex-assassin! Why is Danny the only one who is 'well adjusted and non-violent' hm? Hmm?

Why can't he also be mean, and stabby, and a total stuck-up in some way or another? Have fun with his characterization, its prime opportunity to play play-doh and clay with him! If he starts out as X how does he get the personality traits of Y, and thus become XY?

Like take this with a grain of salt if you will, but make him arrogant. Make him an asshole! Make him a bad person at first! Because he will be! He's the blood son of the batman and you mean to tell me that damian is the only one arrogant about it at first? Make him stabby and mean even at 14 when he's begun to chill out! Have fun with it! If he's with the Fentons at any point past the age of four or five then he's gonna be a nightmare to handle because he still remembers the league and his time there.

(and while it gives him more time to chill the hell out, his time at the league is still gonna leave an impact on him.)

also what im saying as well is have him and sam potentially get along like a house on FIRE. Again, Danny grew up under the views of an ecofascist cult and nobody to challenge those views to him until he got to amity park at whatever age in late formative years he was at. He could be about as intense or even MORE intense about environmental awareness/rights than Sam is!

(also him being supremely unimpressed with Sam's wealth. he gave up a palace in the mountains for this town. because that's funny to me - like let his past have more influence on him! it'll be fun!)

you could have a danny who doesn't kill but doesn't fully understand the value of human life because jazz is like two years older than him and isn't that good at explaining why people's lives are important. he won't kill but he's not morally opposed to it. there's very little chance he actually gets bullied at school because he nearly killed Dash the first time he tried anything.

Danny could have scars, physical ones, because its implied in multiple canon that training starts at toddling (my best bet is 3 at minimum and ~maybe~ 2 but only on the later side of 2. Good fucking luck getting any infant under 2 to do anything you ask, ESPECIALLY assassin training. They're gonna stick the weapon in their mouth sooner than they're gonna do katas. This is coming from a daycare teacher.)

there's more examples of how danny being at the league during his formative years would affect him, but those are just some of them. he could have a sword! An appreciation for weaponry and nature. Maybe he still speaks all shakespearan and formal, does he still make bodily threats to people? If Damian is still threatening people at 14 why can't danny?