#so somehow I am just nervous
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i want to introduce you all to a project that is very close to my heart... or lack of one. anyway. for anyone who has ever wanted to play a poem. i'd like you to meet aromanticism
(link opens itch.io - she'll run on html in your browser! please be nice to her!)
#literally please be so so so fucking niceys to her i am so nervous about this for no reason#it's literally fine it's gonna be perfectly functional. I Am Going To Lose My Mind#i can always make another post if it gets fucked up somehow... i can always make another post...#anyway. hi. this is aromanticism. i made her for class. and then revised her for class. and now she's like my child#losing my miiiiiiiind#poetry#kind of like a uquiz too. to be honest haha#except i can make you read more somehow (long questions instead of long answers)#it's a little choose your own adventure......#poem#poems#poets on tumblr#poems and poetry#poetsandwriters#poems about aromanticism#aromantic#aro poet#aro poetry#aro#aromanticism#aroace#arospec#aspec#itch.io#GOD OKAY I'M JUST POSTING IT.
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I really really wanna talk about my personal lycanthropy but I've been sitting on it like an egg bc I don't know what to talk about and I'm to anxious to talk to anyone else about it
I really really really wanna socialize with other 'thropes but Jesus God Fuck everytime I try to I feel like im going I to cardiac arrest or like my heart is gonna explode and bruh it is killing me
#whats he yappin on about#clinical lycanthropy#alterhuman#lycanthropy#werewolf#nonhuman#otherkin#therian#ive been nervous calling myself a clinical lycanthrope but it literally is exactly what i am. i feel like im somehow doing harm but its#literally my experince. ive only ever mentioned it a couple times bc i would rather just tag lycanthropy but i may start tagging with it#idk#i wanna talk to others like me so bad but i havent met anyone like me#werewolf kin#i wish i could afford therapy
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i demand timbern for the ask game /jk
How dare you come into my asks and demand that I talk abt my favourite ship after I reblogged a ship ask game! /jk
I think it goes without question that I ship it lol
What made me ship it?
When I first got into DC (Tim Drake) the only Tim ship I was really aware of was timkon due to its immense popularity. I ended up really liking it (and still do!) but every now and then I'd see posts of people dunking on timber (mainly because they were bitter abt Tim not ending up with Kon). I decided to look into the ship more to see if it was really as bad as people made it out to be
And next thing I new I had a new favourite ship and favourite character lol (Bernard Dowd they could never make me hate you)
2. What are your favourite things about the ship?
There are so many thing I love about them. But I think one thing that doesn't get talked about enough was how Bernard knew Tim before he knew Robin. Yes technically Tim was still Robin when they first met, but that got upturned relatively quickly and I think they spent more time together without Tim having Robin then vice versa. So many people in Tims life that he's close with knew the mask a while before they knew him (which is a fascinating relationship in itself) and E grieves is one of the few times we see Tim without any sort of mantle. I think that there's something special about the fact that Tim, with all his identity and attachment issues around his superhero identity, ended up with one of the few people who knew him (even for a short while) as just Tim Drake.
3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?
The fact that they have less content then other ships that have been around for decades longer is enjoyable. It means you get to fill in the blanks
I feel like with ships that have been around for so long there's less room for ambiguity to fill up. Everything is already there for you, which is fun don't get me wrong! But having the freedom to be creative and come up with ideas in a way you couldn't otherwise is part of the fun
#I would like to clarify that this is not me hating on popular ships. I do enjoy them a lot#and timkon is still a ship that I love#I am not bashing on them in any way shape or form#It was super hard narrowing these down lol I could Yap abt them for hours#I have some trouble articulating my thoughts at times so I hope I got them across alright!#I really should talk more abt my thoughts because there's so much more I could've added#Tysm for the ask :DDD#Timber#Timbern#Ask game!#I always get more nervous posting abt hcs and thoughts just incase I'm somehow being ooc lol#but at the same time this is fun!!
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massive lack of sleep-induced ramble incoming:
been thinking more about the bonds between antari (from reading the telepathy between holland and ojka while osaron is in them) which makes me think about if the antari could telepathically communicate. firstly, holland would chose to Not Do That.... i can imagine a young kell who has learnt in a book that antari are meant to be able to talk across a bond and so he tries it and gets no response, he wonders if its him doing it incorrectly or if he's not strong enough yet so he keeps trying until eventually giving up. holland is very glad when he gives up because he would be trying to close his mind to the suffering he is experiencing only to be brought back to the surface by a small eager voice in his head saying "hello :) can you hear me?" and he knows if he responds whether it be kindly or harshly he will never have peace from it
on the other hand though, during agos before kell knows that lila is antari he thinks of her so often that she hers his voie in her head, lila of course has her suspicions that she may be antari but has no idea that such a connection is possible, so she considers these thoughts that sound alarmingly like kell as just a lingering attachment to him that she's desperately tried to sever. when they do figure it out though, people question how those two pirates (ahem, privateers) seem to always know what the other is thinking or what the other is about to do...
#thinking of the cuteness of lila cracking a smile at something but only kell knows what#everyone else would wonder why shes smiling for seemingly no reason#and are probably a bit nervous tbh#also thought about lila being annoyed she didnt know it was a thing until after hollands death#because she wanted to menace him out of pure spite#also had a fic idea of kell giving up on contacting holland until one day he somehow gets caught and chained up#perhaps in a similar way that the danes did holland so he cant even use his powers to escape#the only way out would be to call to holland and hope he can hear#and after years of ignoring kells calls holland just cant ignore this one#that goodness in him that he tried to bury through his years of torment comes rushing to the surface and he cant help but do something#this is not a well structured post at all#i am very very tired#adsom#shades of magic#holland vosijk#lila bard#kell maresh#adsom ramble
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423 spoilers in the tags <3
#this is the last thing i'm going to say abt this chapter until the next one comes out#bc it really ain't over til it's over!!! and i've seen some great theories about what's going to happen already#but i can have a little nervous ramble as a treat#okay that should be enough words that these tags will be Hidden at first glance#but basically#i feel like this ch is the mha equivalent of 'somehow palpatine returned'#bc it singlehandedly undoes the Whole Point of the story#(unless obv we walk it back in the next one)#like. the Whole Point of star wars was anakin skywalker bringing balance to the force#by killing darth sidious#'somehow palpatine returned' wasn't just stupid#it literally was antithetical to the story itself#and this kind of feels like that#with the added 'benefit' of absolutely destroying your main character's arc#like. i can't even begin to articulate how ??? i am#but like i said!! i've seen some great theories about how we're gonna pull the whole uno reverse#so i am patiently waiting#but i am. nervous.#anyway fake dating & fantasy au are GREAT fics to be working on rn#save me mha aus. mha aus save me#i will probably delete this later btw i just needed to let the steam escape like a very quiet tea kettle#liza blather#mha spoilers#bnha spoilers#manga spoilers
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we finished painting the walls in my room today - well, two of them, the ones that we started yesterday. tomorrow we're going to ikea, and then hopefully we'll finish the one wall in my husband's room, and start the two in my room (they're gonna be a different colour than the first two)
#today I am not covered in paint from head to toe! success!#everything still hurts but it's tolerable at the moment#I hope well get my room done by Friday (since we'll be moving our stuff this weekend & my friend will help me build shelves and stuff. which#the walls need to be finished for 😬)#also: we're going to ikea to have them look at the kitchen that we've planned 😬 I'm so nervous lol#it's gonna be so embarrassing if I did everything wrong somehow#and it said the appointment is 45 minutes so that's scary haha.#but it's gonna be too much money (and time and effort to assemble it all) to mess it up so. my social anxiety will just have to be very#brave lol. 😬#personal
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thought up a monodeku scenario last night and it followed me to today so here we go
It's their second year and its currently prom or some shit idk. some sort of big school party event.
and the two are talking (Monoma and Izuku obviously) and Izuku brings up that he does, in fact, not know how to slow dance.
and Monoma is SHOCKED. appalled even. so naturally, he offers to teach Izuku because he's just so great and amazing.
but he didn't exactly think about all the physical contact that is involved with slow dancing, so when Izuku has to put his hand on his waist Monoma just freezes.
he's gay. he's panicking. boy oh boy is he panicking.
#monodeku#monoma neito#izuku midoriya#izuku is somehow oblivious the entire time this is happening#they successfully slowdance#monoma is just awkward tho#monoma and his adhd impulsivity#izuku is also a little bit gay hes just hiding it better#they are both nervous wrecks#izuku defo asked if monoma was okay like 5 times too#monoma would say yes everytime#“monoma are you okay you are like really sweaty do you need water”#“im fine and like so normal rn dont worry ahahahah”#but internally hes like#“oh god hes touching me hes touching me and looking at me and TOUCHING ME WHAT DO I DO HES STARING AT ME WITH HIS EYEBALLS HELP ME”#I am a touch starved monoma truther#people don't touch him a lot bc they are scared hes gonna copy their quirk or something
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this entire year has been flop after flop why am i losing so bad your honor i am literally just some guy
#im yapping u can move on if u dont wanna hear my life story#first i get nuked by stomach pains when i go to visit my friends#something that had been ongoing for years but#my best friend convinces me to see a doctor that year#my condition deteriorates no matter what meds they put me on#i finally get a more invasive exam that shows my intestines were inflamed#i get put on fucking steroids that fuck me up physically and emotionally#i go through multiple med school exams after spending months in crippling pain#pain so bad id be bedridden for hours#got 6 weeks of migraines near daily#sometimes multiple in a day#stressed out of my mind by the time my finals came around to the point that i could no longer bring myself to care#bc i was sure id fail no matter how hard i studied#visit my friends again bc somehow its already winter again#am a nervous wreck all the time and retreat into my phone#but also hate myself for not spending what little time i had fully present#constantly worn out and exhausted bc my meds are barely working#and id found out i was allergic to a lot of things so i was cutting a lot of things out of my diet#lmfao it was so bad my weight still hasnt recovered but yeah i come back i start 3rd year#the toll the last year had taken on my mental health finally registers#i become too depressed to study for my hardest module yet#UGH THATS SO CRINGE JUST SIT DOWN AND STUDY??#but nothing was sticking on god#anyway im sure ive failed#and la salud mental no es bien or soemthing idk i havent taken spanish in 3 years#anyway deep sigh i just stay losing#i cant believe im in like four fucking research projects and classes and trying to work on myself this shit sucks balls#and clinical rotations...#lord just strike me down
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I can’t sleep idk what’s wrong im so anxious lately
#Listen I got back on Twt and i don’t know why because it makes me so upset#But also so happy like I love interacting with people there I have sm mutuals there but#I just don’t know what to do because being on there does make me feel worse but how else am I supposed to interact w these ppl#I’m also just nervous in general about everything and I hate America so badly why#Genocidal facist after genocidal facist why why why#I’m so upset about everything and Gaza and Sudan and everyone suffering right now#I want to direct this energy somehow I need to#We need to keep fighting it’s just going to be even worse under Trump I just hate it I hate everything I can’t sleep
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the more i think about the 60th specials the angrier and more despondent i get. i actually wish rtd had never come back get him out of here
#seeing old stuff of eccleston vaguely talking shit on rtd and his cronies.. thinking about how badly written the specials were#not just in a storytelling sense but also politically. he somehow got so much worse#and he was already very dubious in his original run especially in regards to race and i am SCARED of him penning the first black doctor#uh. i just wish theyd gotten someone new who wasnt a piece of shit.#idk im just so nervous lol rtds writing has taken a nosedive into being absolute crap where he drops in little cancel culture lines#and shit like that and nonsense dictator of the planet doctor moments to quickly wrap up a problem and no critical analysis#of anything thats going on ever. its actually horrific#im sooooo so fucking nervous for s14 lol#peter capaldi save me (i need to rewatch 12 to feel better)#txt
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Guys I am so excited for LIS Double Exposure but I am also so so nervous
#I feel like it’s one of those things where there’s a possibility for it to be so amazing and a wonderful sequel#but there’s also a chance to COMPLETELY fuck it up 😭#im so nervous. but also excited. mostly excited!#i really do wish they would’ve kept her bangs though but I’m trying really hard not to be whiny abt it#ALSO#I hope to god they give some of the old cast some cameos like I seriously NEED to see Warren. and Victoria. and Kate#which I know would only work in one of the timelines…so idk how that would even work#but still#I miss the og cast I love them dearly#sometimes I forget people actually choose bae over bay I can’t lie 😭 like sometimes I forget that’s even a canonical timeline#LMFAOO IM SORRYYY#I JUST#I can’t imagine destroying Arcadia bay I’m sorryyyyy#people keep talking abt Chloe being alive and I’m like ??? and then I remember OHH THATS. AN ACTUAL TIMELINE#LMFAOO#im going so crazy over this game rn#augh#can’t believe im out here playing the most life changing games ever and once I finish them I have to just return to daily life like normal#like. how am I supposed to not talk abt this 24/7 now this is crazyyy#okay in all seriousness though I’m lowkey gonna be heated as hell if at least warren doesn’t somehow get some involvement in this LMFAOO#LIKEEE#I MISS THE OG CAST 😞😞#I MISS THEM. WEEPS#“but what abt people who picked the bae ending’’ idkkkkkkkk 😞😞😞#I heard through the grapevine (☝️🤓) that there’s supposedly going to be two separate storylines? one for bae and one for bay?#is that like actually confirmed or just speculation….I hope it’s confirmed#anyways. many thoughts. very nervous.#life is strange#life is strange double exposure
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good god I cannot do this fjdksl this is so much pressure. just received a text from this girl at the centre expressing how she's so glad I'm her friend bc she's never rly had any true friends before, and thats very very nice of her to say but also i cannot fucking do this fjdksl this is so much pressure and every time I'm around her I feel like I'm babysitting which isn't her fault! she is simply not a good match for me in terms of social skills and personality! but i feel like im going to fucking kms bc this is so much pressure and I cannot continue to try to support her mental health and be like. her only source of friendship. while barely being able to keep myself afloat 🧍
#i am going to have a fucking nervous breakdown soon and i do mean that genuinely#i just got that text from her and stared at it for ten seconds before bursting into tears because jesus christ I cannot do this !!!!#i want to be left alone im going to be so honest 😭😭😭 i wish i could just go to the centre and not talk to anyone sometimes#but she's fucking always there#i cannot escape her#she attended my old lady group this week even. like. I can't do this I really can't#i hate myself for being too nice to everyone i have been getting myself into situations like this my entire life#i just cannot tell ppl to back tf off#but these ppl who latch onto me are always so desperately lonely#and dont know how to socialize and i sympathize w that so much#and im the only person who is willing to be understanding of their social difficulties and whatnot#but then i fet stuck with them bc they have nobody else who's willing to be around them#and then i get to have continual breakdowns in private until they either move away to another town or move on somehow#im so fucking frustrated I'm such a goddamn tool and this is going to get me into so much trouble one day#at least online I've been able to block people 😭#but irl .... i cannot do shit about this#I don't know how to fjfkdl i just. i am going to just. [incomprehensible desperate screaming]#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#suicide mention
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ouh i'm hungryyy
but the only thing to eat is orangesss
i don't want to peel themmm cuz i don't like them under my nailssss
ouhuhguhg [dies]
#just me hi#food#i Know that it's not that bad when i actually do it but Man i Do Not Want To Peel That Thing#i could cut them but we only have butter knives so that means that the juice is gonna get my hands stickyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy#the only thing that worse than stuff under my nails is juice all over my gosh darn hands hhhhhhhhhh#but also i'm hungryyyyyy#auuuuuuughhghghghghghg#__(:'o_/)\__#i am in Misery there ain't nobody who can comfort me oh yea#don't want to peel that Thing the texture will absolutely annihilate me oo yada yada yada#//yeah i could wash a knife. but do you realize what that would require#i'd have to walk alllllll the way to the bathroom - which is already a house's length away! - with a knife -#i don't like carrying knives it makes me nervous- PLUS it's like a community bathroom so IMAGINE i walk all the way there with a watermelon#knife (looks like a watermelon) and somebody comes out and sees me carrying a knife unsafely! i'd go out King Saul style at that point -#and then i have to WASH the dang thing. and my hands have to be cold and wet. can you believe that. Cold and Wet!!!#and that's if i somehow don't commit murder on the way there cuz apparently there's no way you can hold a knife Ever#//ANYWAY.#i guess i'm gonna peel the orange hvhhhvs#morning dramatics are over!#//this orange is COLD and i have to Peel It aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#//ok i'm done or else my horrible horrible turmoils will all be catalogued for future historians#going to peel this orange </3
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I don't normally make posts, but i felt compelled to share a snippet of the upcoming second chapter of my fic "Can You Feel the Sun?" 💕
Millionsummers because i dont have the attention span for anything else dkdkdks
#trigun#legato bluesummers#millions knives#millionsummers#i dont usually like posting snippets because they're usually subject to change drastically#but i only see one small phrasing error that needs fixing in this and im happy with it despite that#so i feel like ill keep this part unchanged#im also nervous because i live here (tumblr) so its somehow more daunting to post stuff here than it is on ao3.#anyway.#i wish i had more people to talk abt millionsummers with but i am way too nervous to join any discords#or reach out to others in this corner of the fandom that i admire#so!!!! i sit in silence lmao#sorry for the tags kdkdks#oh wait#trimax spoilers#for those still doing the book club!! idk if its still going on but just in case#my writing
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hello i see ag 2morrow for the second show of boom done tour i am so excited
i haven't been to a show since thursday @ the end of january in typical northeast "no one, quite understandably, tours here in the winter" fashion & i very much need this i am so very much looking forward 2 it also this is gonna be a GREAT month 4 shows
#i may be manifesting this somehow reaches someone somewhere also going#also tonight is about to be spent absolutely cramming boom done etc#as despite the fact that i technically got introduced to homie's music via a boom done set#at that fest i was working in summer '22#i still am not really acquainted with it#i am primarily going for good vibes and to support#but that's just as of now#i can Entirely see myself coming to love these songs just like the rest of that dude's projects#anyways i am soloing and while of course i have no problem doing this for shows in general#i am a bit nervous since i'm used 2 just blending in with a crowd due to moshing everybody being packed in etc#whereas here that obviously won't be a thing and everyone will kinda just be standing there noddin along#but it is okay i always seem to find cool folks to talk to at ag related shows#and even if i don't i know i'll have a great time#also i really hope the epic wavernot4love x anthony crossover can finally happen#genuinely i have so much 2 say this dude's music has had such a positive impact on my life this past year n a half#and i wanna chat about that a little bit#anyways off i go 2 jam some ag tunes i am so excited also mohawk place is a gr8 venue i can't wait to be back there#also ah i'm gonna see if i can find anything setlist wise from the first show 2nite in pa since i kinda like to know what 2 expect#anthony green#ls dunes#boom done#wavernot4love gets 2 the gig#wavernot4lovetalksmusic#wavernot4love talks ag tunes#yippee
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i love re-learning sex ed nearly a decade later bc none of this made sense to me before and it makes even less sense now. apparently being on your period makes your voice deeper, and your voice tends to get higher when you’re ovulating?? could not be further from the truth for me
and don’t even get me started on “average” cycles. who is out here having 5-7 days of menstrutation and 24 hr ovulation periods, like you guys were serious abt that? i feel like an alien
#to be clear we did have sex ed it was just not taught in a way that largely applied to me#like i thought pms-ing was a myth for most of my life#if i’m crying randomly that’s just bc that’s how i am as a person#danbles#menstruation#<- for blacklist#got a doc apptmnt coming up so hopefully i can ask abt this mess 👍#thinking of asking abt an iud… anyone here know if it’s worth it#i’m nervous that it’s going to affect my voice somehow#bc that’s obviously the most important thing here 💀
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