#so sick n tired of being sick n tired
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
pyr0frnzy · 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
got sick n tired of seeing ppl draw Sanji in this on my twt feed this is my form of protest
Also the og tweet ig:
Tumblr media
2K notes · View notes
clownhonkbonk · 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
hi rqg people i am once again late to the party
81 notes · View notes
taintedcigs · 11 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
im going to scream so fucking loud what the FUCK is his problem.
132 notes · View notes
astrobei · 2 years ago
Text
Something’s wrong.
It’s a quiet afternoon in Will’s room. Mike is here, and this simple fact should be taking precedence over all else. It would be, on any other day — a day where it wasn’t off-puttingly quiet outside. On any other day, it would be all he could focus on.
Not that it’s not important. Mike is here, sprawled haphazardly across him, limbs akimbo like he couldn’t even be bothered to right himself before the need to bodily press every square inch of himself up against Will’s torso suddenly overtook him. It’s endearing, is what it is, even though Mike’s feet are dangling off the side of Will’s bed — they’re getting too tall to be able to lie down like this, side by side and taking up all the room they could possibly want. He’s got his cheek pressed up against Will’s sternum, arms wrapped so tight around Will’s stomach and lower back that it’s bordering on uncomfortable.
Endearing. It’s endearing, the need for proximity. The need for closeness, for touch, for reassurance. Mike wasn’t like this before. Not to this degree, at least. Will pretended to be annoyed by it at first, but the façade hadn’t even lasted a day before he cracked. He needs it too, and they both know it — the rhythmic push and pull of Mike’s breathing. Feeling Mike’s heart beat steadily against his own, separated by a meager few inches of blood and muscle and bone. The kinesthetic weight of a body against his own, grounding him on his off days — days where his pulse is perpetually panicked and off-kilter, threatening to fly away entirely, rendered unsuccessful only by the shape of Mike’s shoulder blades under his palm. The cotton of his flannel button-down, worn soft with use.
Grounding things. Real things. Safe things.
It’s a quiet afternoon. Mike’s foot twitches, suddenly and gently against where it’s pressed up against the line of Will’s calf.
It’s a quiet afternoon, and Will feels off, down to his bones.
Mike might be falling asleep.
Will smiles, hides it in the soft curtain of Mike’s hair where it’s brushing over his neck. Cups a hand around the back of his head and wraps his other arm around his shoulder — tighter, tighter, like Mike might just get up and walk away if he doesn’t. For all his pretending, Will is like this too, now: desperate, a little needy, selfish in small, ordinary ways. Too quick to worry when a call goes unanswered. Too quick to fuss over cuts and scrapes and bruises. He hugs too tight and he kisses too hard and he gets unsettled by quiet, calm afternoons.
He wasn’t ever like that before.
Mike twitches again — so delicately that it’s almost like an afterthought — then his arms tighten around Will’s midriff.
That feels intentional. Even if it hadn’t been. Things with Mike feel intentional. Purposeful.
Even if he is — you know. Asleep, a little.
Will’s room is comfortably warm; the late summer sun has been hiding lately, and the sky isn’t blue, exactly but at least it’s not red anymore — dark and rolling and angry. It’s still, and it’s quiet, and it’s peaceful for the first time in a long time — a long time—
—and still, something’s wrong.
“Will?”
Mike shifts, just slightly, just enough to lean his head against Will’s collarbone and look up at him. He catches the edge of Mike’s expression like it’s a secret, a glimpse of wide eyes, a little confused.
Will peers down at him. “Go back to sleep.”
“I wasn’t,” Mike says, even as he blinks heavily. He rolls out his ankle, bumps it against Will’s and keeps it there, stretches long and languid, lazy, like he has all the time in the world. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” Will says. If Mike stays like this, if he doesn’t look up any farther, maybe he can get away with it.
Mike doesn’t sound convinced. “You sure?” he mumbles, rubbing at his eyes with one hand and pushing himself up, just enough to be able to look at Will better. “You seemed…”
He trails off. Will tucks a stray strand of hair back behind Mike’s ear, from where it had been falling loose and down into his eyes. “I’m sure,” he murmurs. “Go back to sleep.”
“I wasn’t asleep!”
“You were,” Will laughs. “You were twitching. Like a cat.”
“I don’t twitch,” Mike insists, then pauses. “Do I?”
“Sometimes,” Will admits, then presses a kiss to the top of Mike’s head. “When you’re really tired. I think it’s cute.”
“Stop,” Mike mumbles, but he lowers his head back to Will’s chest. “So mean to me.”
“I called you cute!”
“Mean,” Mike says, sounding like he’s halfway back to sleep already as he snakes an arm back around Will’s chest, hand resting lightly on the side of his throat, just over his jaw. He tangles their legs together, the sheets going wrinkled and bunched up under them. “So mean.”
Will smiles. “Sorry,” he whispers. He glances down at the mess of black hair in front of his face, runs a careful hand through it. Again, and again, and again. Mike makes a small noise, content and pleased, and presses in closer, like he’s trying to vanquish whatever minute semblance of space might have been left between them. “I won’t be mean again.”
It’s a joke, obviously. Still, Will traces apologetic circles into Mike’s back, into the gentle dip between his shoulders. He maps out the planes there, tries to commit them to memory by touch alone, the way he can feel Mike breathe in — slow, hesitant — and then out again — faster, like he’s collapsing back into Will’s body.
The circles give way to shapes, any that Will can think of. Then lines, curved and looping around his shoulder blades, his upper arms. He trails fingers up the back of Mike’s neck, where the cotton of his shirt gives way to a more organic warmth, and scrapes his fingernails lightly against the skin there. Drops another delicate kiss to the sliver of Mike’s forehead where his hair is parted as it falls around his face.
Mike lets out another pleased noise, half-coherent and probably involuntary, and his hand twitches lightly on Will’s jaw. Will bites back a smile, and stares straight up at the ceiling.
Will was never good at this before either — taking the things he wants. Letting himself have things he wants. Something is turning over in his gut, warm and viscous and slow, with each moment of touch he lets himself have, in this newfound, selfish way — through Mike’s hair, down his arms and back up again. Over his back, his shoulders, trailing fingers up his cheeks. He rubs circles into Mike’s temples, watches his brows unfurrow — for once in his life — and his expression go slack with contentment. He wants to touch the corners of Mike’s mouth too, where they’ve turned downwards, vulnerable, half-pressed into Will’s shirt.
He does. He can.
It’s a novel thing, for him, having someone be this close. Having someone be this close just because they want to be, because they trust you.
Will doesn’t know what to make of that. He’s never felt this before, the urge to hold someone so close that all the bad things go away. The urge to touch, the urge to lie here until entropy takes them.
There are no bad things anymore, though. It’s a quiet afternoon, and it’s calm, and it’s peaceful, and—
Will stops.
His hand stills on Mike’s back.
Oh, he thinks, still looking up at the ceiling. Oh.
“Will?” Mike stirs again, and he’d definitely been right on the precipice of sleep this time, judging by the way his voice is dragging on the single syllable. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” Will whispers, a little incredulously, as realization dawns upon him. He wants to laugh. He wants to cry too, a little bit. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m great.”
Mike taps a slow finger against Will’s cheek and peers carefully up at him. “What is it?
“I,” Will starts, then stops. He’ll sound ridiculous if he says it. Ridiculous and pathetic and— “Nothing,” he says anyway, despite every molecule of better judgment in his body. “I’m just— I’m happy.”
Mike pauses. “Oh,” he says simply, cheek still pressed to Will’s chest. He sounds a little caught off-guard, in a good way. “I— that’s good. That you’re happy.”
The weird feeling in Will’s gut bubbles up, up, and over. “Yeah,” he says quietly, trying to keep his voice even. “I am. You make me happy.”
At this, Mike looks up. His expression is a bit startled, like a deer in headlights. “What?”
Oh, god. Will swallows. He looks back up. “I just,” he says, “I’ve never— I’m happy. And I don’t know when— I don’t know if I’ve ever. Been this happy before, I mean. Before everything. Before—”
You, he thinks. He doesn’t say it, but it goes implied.
Mike is silent.
The weird feeling starts settling back into Will’s stomach, slow and steady like molasses. Shit. That was, objectively, probably a weird thing to say. It was, right?
Oh, god.
Will blinks, once, twice, thrice in quick succession, and keeps his stare fixed on the ceiling.
“Will,” Mike says at last, from somewhere below him. He lifts his head off of Will’s chest, tufts of black hair swimming into view. “Can you— can you look at me, please?”
Oh, god.
Will looks down. “Yeah?”
Mike looks— wondrous, maybe, which is a bit dramatic, but it’s true. “Really?” he asks, and he doesn’t sound freaked out or anything, which is a good sign, but— “I do?”
“Yeah,” Will whispers. “You do. Like, really happy.”
Happy seems a bit diminutive, if Will’s being honest. Whatever this feeling is runs much deeper than that — past contentment and comfort and satisfaction. Ease, maybe. Safety would be closer.
He doesn’t say any of that.
Mike’s cheeks flush a brilliant pink. He splays his palm across Will’s cheek and asks, in mild disbelief, “Is that what was bothering you?”
“It wasn’t bothering me,” Will says quietly, tugging at Mike’s wrist and sitting up, just slightly, leaning back against one elbow. “I’m fine.”
“You weren’t,” Mike says simply, and lets himself be moved. “I could tell. I just— I thought it was something, you know. Worse.”
“What?” Will laughs, and Mike’s expression softens in relief. “Like what?”
“I don’t know!” Mike exclaims, but he’s smiling too. “I just— I could tell, and I didn’t— I don’t know. Never mind.”
Will pushes a strand of hair behind Mike’s ear again, the same one that had been falling back out the entire time they’d been lying together. “I’m sorry if you worried,” he says quietly. “I just— I didn’t know what it was. I’ve never been this happy before.”
“Will,” Mike starts, expression earnest and searching. He opens his mouth and closes it again.
“Sorry,” Will adds, for good measure. Maybe Mike is, like, totally freaked out. “No pressure, or anything.”
“Don’t apologize,” Mike says immediately, frowning. “Never apologize. I just— I’m happy too. You make me happy. Really happy.”
“Well that’s good,” Will jokes, but it comes out halfhearted. “I should hope I’m not making you sad.”
Mike rolls his eyes. “Will.”
“Sorry,” he says on instinct, then immediately bites down on his lower lip. “I mean. Yes. Yeah.”
Mike gives him a look, exasperated and a little fond. “I mean,” he says, then leans forward, all the way back into Will’s space, “you make me happy too. I don’t know when I’ve been— me too, I mean. Me too.”
“Oh,” Will breathes out, in awe, a little bit, of a lot of things — the deepening flush across Mike’s cheek, the ease with which the admission comes tumbling out of his mouth. The simple reciprocity of it bowls him over, like maybe Mike thinks about this, when Will doesn’t know — just how happy Will makes him. “Okay.”
Mike eyes dart between his own. “That all you have to say?” he teases. “Okay?”
“What else do you want me to say?” Will asks, teasing back, a little, but also asking a little truthfully. He’s not the greatest with words, but he’s also not stupid — he understands the implications, here, of what it means to feel so happy around someone that it feels like you’re admitting to something bigger by just saying it. He knows what he’s implying, and he knows Mike is picking up on it, but he doesn’t know how to put that into words — the way his soul feels like it’s stilled inside of him, somewhere, no longer restless or jittery or perpetually keyed up.
He wonders if Mike feels like that too.
The thought, suddenly, is too much.
“Nothing,” Mike says, after a moment. He pauses, then presses a fleeting kiss to Will’s cheek. “Nothing.”
“Mike,” Will says, suddenly, then grabs a hold of Mike’s wrist again. “I— you know that I—”
He feels overwhelmed, a little frantic. He’s sure it’s coming through in his voice. The rest of the sentence hangs there, suspended in midair between the two of them.
Love you, Will thinks. I love you. I love you.
He needs Mike to know.
Mike can’t ever know.
He looks away again, like maybe Mike will be able to tell exactly what he’s thinking just by looking at him.
“Yeah,” Mike is saying. “It’s okay, Will. I know. Me too. Obviously.”
Will relaxes. Thank god for plausible deniability. “Okay,” he says instead, feeling a smile split wide and exhilarated across his face. He feels like he just ran a marathon, and it isn’t until he lies back down that he feels it. The adrenaline, sweet and thick and palpable in his veins. “Okay. Cool.”
“Cool,” Mike echoes, then settles back down on top of him. “Yeah. Cool.”
Will tucks his chin over the top of Mike’s head, running a soothing hand over Mike’s hair. His heart is beating so fast that he’s sure Mike is able to tell. “Go back to sleep,” he says quietly. Mike lets out a noise that might be a laugh, and tucks his face into Will’s neck.
It’s a quiet afternoon. Everything feels perfectly right.
332 notes · View notes
astrobolical · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
When you’ve got a cold-
Tumblr media
Content Warnings: None— fluff, colds I guess?
Reader: Gender Neutral
This isn’t proofread, and I’ve been sick since Saturday so this is purely self indulgent. I just hope it makes sense. Just headcanons because my brain is in a fog and I can’t get out of it. ;;
Tumblr media
» Leviathan had been confused when you weren’t answering your D.D.D. when his new game came in— did you suddenly realize you were too good for him? Did you find someone better to spend your time with?!
» After grappling with the flood of negative thoughts, though, he goes to see you, hearing a muffled ‘come in’ from behind your door after he knocks
» He was surprised to find you curled up on your bed, sluggishly moving to sit up as he entered, bundled up in your comforter like a lil’ human burrito
» When you explain that you’re sick he feels a rush of relief (you don’t hate him!!) and worry all at the same time— humans are fragile! Are you going to come out of this?! Is it curable? Surely you need a doctor!
» After some coaxing (and a small coughing fit) you manage to explain to him that it’s nothing life threatening, just a cold and that you’d be fine after some rest and some medicine (courtesy of Solomon)
» Though unhappy you went to Solomon first, he does understand why (he also does acknowledge he’d have no clue what to give you as far as medicine went)
» He insists he’ll at least spend time with you, even when you explain that you’ll really just be sleeping a lot and that you don’t want to get him sick, too
» He almost relents, but a burst of envy has him a little more demanding. What if one of his brothers found you like this?! They’d never leave you alone! So how could he?
» So, in order to save you from his brothers’ antics he insists on you coming to his room— the safest place to hide out, as far as Levi is concerned. He insists he’ll be fine, he won’t catch some normie, human cold
» That’s how you found yourself watching Levi game from a comfortable mess of blankets and pillows propped up in his bathtub
» It was comfortable for both of you— you could rest when you needed without interruption, or watch him play his games when you were awake and converse if you felt well enough. Levi got to give you a safe place to recover, and the pleasure of your company
» It never mattered to Levi if you were both doing the same thing or not, he just loved having you around him, knowing you were opting to stay with him
» Since he’s always staying stocked up in his room he doesn’t have to leave very often, he’ll have whatever you could want or need at your fingertips— and he’ll even make trips out for you if you ask! That’s just how much you mean to him!
» Will absolutely melt if you use his lap as a pillow while he’s sitting on the floor playing on his consoles, especially if you fall asleep on him— how cute!!! MC!! That’s too cute!!
» Does take a few photos, but he’ll never show them to anyone, ever! He just can’t get over how much you trust him even if you’re in this weakened state
» Will never turn away your affections, even if you hesitate due to not wanting to pass this onto him— don’t move away! It’s okay! He swears if he gets sick it is what it is! But he won’t. (Lies)
» In the end he keeps you hydrated, entertained and well… very protected. No one bothered you while you were in his room. Only once and the threat of Lotan had Lucifer telling his brothers’ to leave MC to rest where you choose (and you chose HIS ROOM, so HA)
» He’ll absolutely cuddle up with you in his tub, either to sleep beside you or to have you lay on his chest while he plays something on his D.D.D. Or a handheld console. You’re a tangle of limbs, pillows and blankets but you wouldn’t change it for the world— especially how his tail curls around you and keeps you close
» When you do start to recover and have a bit more energy to spare Levi will be ecstatic to show you the new game he got!! Now that you can enjoy it, you can ride out the rest of your cold with him and this game he got for the two of you
» Be prepared though, despite his protests he’s absolutely getting sick
» And he has no idea how to handle human colds, so please pamper the boy and return the favour— he went out of his way for you!!
» In the end though, you both end up locked away for a solid week and a half until both of you were finally clear of any illness
» As much as getting sick sucked, Levi tells you the next time you get sick you should absolutely come right to him! His room can be your safe place
» Though when you go out next you’re dogpiled by his brothers who’ve been missing your attention (and were also worried!), so maybe go out in intervals next time…
134 notes · View notes
pink-lemonadefairy · 3 months ago
Text
super long big huge tired sigh
10 notes · View notes
icewindandboringhorror · 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
recent things
#With the heatwave combined with being ill for like an entire week it seems I've lost like 16 days this month#where I basically did barely anything... grrr.... The passage of time... My Enemy...#Now that I can finally hold down food and stuff I'm feeling a little better mostly and my sickness has probably passed. But I still#feel weird a little bit like.. some lingering weakness or something. I think I'm just already having so many Problems at all times even in#my 'Normal' state that whenever I get sick or something my whole system is thrown off for a while lol#I'm supposed to be writing like 2000 words a day still ghbjhb... I've had multiple days of maybe 1000 - 1500. And a lot of days#where I write maybe 20 - 300. I've still been chipping away at the same single quest dialogue for all 20 something#days this month so.. AUGH.. Though that also counts the 16 days I did nearly nothing but be sick and overheated#I finally edited that whole big sims video I wanted to post!!! but now there's an issue with it ... T o T#My fault for still almost exclusively using windows movie maker in 2024 lol.. but HHHHhh.. It's like every once in a while randomly#a fully edited video will not be able to be exported. so evil for this to happen to my first sims build tour in a while. but alas..#ANYWAY... I have been slowly working on little things here and there.. in my little scraps of time.. Wishing to be fully productive at#some point. Maybe I can finally finish and post some things soon. like costume photos or sims videos and etc.#BUT HEY.. that solitaire thing is crazy to me.. I don't think I've ever finished a challenge in under 20 seconds#before. huzzah.. tripeaks squad.. OH.. and an image of#curly tail boye.............. he..... I took him to the vet for a check up and he seems surprisingly okay for a 16 year old. except he has#a mild thyroid issue or something so I'll have to give him medicine. But every time he goes in I'm always expecting them to be like#Sorry. Your Son Is Truly Doomed. or etc. so I'm always shocked when he's fine... a strange boy with many strange behaviors#so I can never tell if he's just Being Weird or if he's sick or soemthing ghjbjh#Also the bad thing about never ending summer heat is that when it IS finally cool for a few days. I don't want to do ANYTHING. It's like wh#n it's hot I feel too sick to do anything. And then when it's cooler I'm like 'OUU the first cool day in WEEKS.. i want to just relax and#fully ENJOY the coolness..'' So it's always constant warfare with my body like.. NO ..we cannot SLEEP. We must utilize this small patch#of Non Heatwave to finally be productive and finish things while we don't feel sick. But then it's like ''ohoho...to lay in the cold air of#the morning restfully.. i shall have a little nap with a blanket on for once.. perhaps.. tee hee'' Always at war with the Tired Sleepy#it seems. AAAANyway...... grr............ slowly finishing things. still usually missing my target writing goals..#Hopefully will have some actual art or costumes or something to post soon. Fumbling through the summer weather as usual lol
5 notes · View notes
pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
60 notes · View notes
despertara · 11 months ago
Text
Irene bro if you see this I want you to know I've been podcasting (talking loudly and emphatically to myself) abt that Grammy Gun post for Hours. I started ranting in the rb tags and then I got so mad I started a spreadsheet on my phone Yes I have the Excel app. No I did not finish my tags
#Pacing around my house ''IN LIEU OF A PERSONALITY TAYLOR HAS A MARKETING STRATEGY AND THAT'S WHY WHITE AMERICANS LOVE HER''#''BC SHE'S A WHITE GIRL NEPOBABY & THEREBY PERFECTLY EMBODIES WESTERN IDEALS: MARTYR COMPLEX + ARYAN PROFIT + QTY>QUALITY + CENTRIST + MID'#''AND IT'S PROBABLY TOO GENEROUS TO CALL HER A CENTRIST WHEN SHE'S NEVER REBUKED THE PPL WHO CLAIM HER AS THEIR ARYAN PRINCESS''#''THE VENN DIAGRAM OF PPL WHO ARE SICK OF HEARING ABT PALESTINE AND PPL WHO CAPE FOR TAYLOR IS ALMOST CERTAINLY A SINGLE PERFECT CIRCLE''#''IN WHAT WORLD IS SHE A TORTURED POET HER WRITING IS ON PAR WITH RUPI KAUR AND— WHO'S EMAILING ME FUCK OFF''#In the shower ''AND ANOTHER THING''#She's the physical manifestation of privileged ppl's desire to be oppressed bc they can't stand when the convo isn't abt them lmfaooooo#''it's hard for skinny white conventionally attractive cishet ppl whose fathers were bankers too!!! Don't erase my truth!!! 😭''#''Taylor is the number one most streamed/whatever artist in the world''#Popularity or notoriety? Bc the US is also well-known for Trump + Texas + public shootings + genocide + wasting money on football stadiums#But again! She's the Western/American Ideal Made Flesh! It's Punk To Have Money And Connections!#And Being White Is The Punkest Of ALL!#Oh my Christ I say this all the time but if university classes have to be offered on her they should be in Marketing and Ethics#She should be a business school case study and that is NOOOT a. Compliment#She couldn't even stick with country bc how truly country of an experience could she have had when her daddy was rich like#She doesn't have the range like idc if you like her just don't act like she's revolutionary when all her movements are calculated + LATERAL#It's not art it's business acumen please she is rewarded by the Grammies bc they respect her for upholding Capitalism I'm so tired#Remember when they gave AOTY to HARRY last year when Beyoncé and Benitito were RIGHT THERE#It's propaganda just like the news plzzzzzzzzzzzz you are all lemmings and she know it which is why she is so good at CONNING YOU#ME N BRO TAG#These are not the comments I wrote on that post you tagged me in btw I got out of the shower to write these FRESH#You know Kacey Musgraves is coming out w a new record too and even tho she got cut out of the CMAs last time she's still proudly country...#I am never drying my hair at this rate#Too busy explaining to you - in complete detail -..........
7 notes · View notes
voidcat · 3 months ago
Text
once again at my wits end bc of men
#rant ////#i hate being afab sometimes bc no matter what i do ill always get shit in return. this is the second time the hospital cafe staff has been#little “too friendly” w me already and it hasnt even been a month(::: this one patient is strating to drive me crazy bc istg if u dare ask#one more personal question im not responsible for what will happen. no i cant give u my pen bc u already got one and why do u specifically#want mine?? its nne of ur business if im wearing a white coat or scrubs??? stfu and let me redo ur bandages over ur catheter#MAYBE IF U HAD S KEPT QUIET INSTEAD OF CONSTANTLY ASKING ME IRRELEVANT THINGS THAT R STARTING TO FEEL LIKE HARRASSMENT MAYBE IT WOULDNT HUR#but also u kno what? i just applied over the flaster to FIXATE so yea i have to apply a little pressure. dont “ouch it hurt” me ur a grown#ass man tf#no i told u tons of times idk ur treatment plan nor am i responsible for it stop asking me stop calling ot for me LEAVE ME ALONE#if youre told u cant leave ur room to wander off whya re u asking me again??? thne going "yea well ill go n if they ask ill say my disciple#doc allowed me“ no i didnt?? ”well my number is written there anyways“ so?? its not my concern? just stay put ur average bp is 17 and u r#stil going out to smoke do you have a fucing death wish or smt#also leave me alone and no u cant call me anything other than doctor. stop acting like a douche u dont act like this to my friend. is it b#im afab and hes not? yeah im sure it is BC THATS ALWAYS THE CASE IN THIS GODDAMN COUNTRY AND IM SICK OF BEING EITHER TREATED W DISRESPECT W#WHEN I TRY TO MAINTAIN THAT FRIENDLY DISTANCE A REGULAR DOC PUTS ON JUST BC IM NOT A CIS MALE. bc wow when youre afab youre eithre asking#for it or youre a rude bitch its no inbetween im so tired
4 notes · View notes
kirishwima · 4 months ago
Text
do i need help and comfort? yes
do i desperately want to gouge my eyes out when i receive it? also very much yes
5 notes · View notes
lonelyplanetfag · 4 months ago
Text
fun fact i got on a call tn cuz i thought itd make me feel better cuz ive been rly fucking miserable lately n usually that helps but in all honesty it made everything one million times worse n im so sad abt it
4 notes · View notes
fragglerockopinions · 6 months ago
Text
.
#This shouldn't be a surprise but seriously no one actually cares about my survival yes I've asked for help why would I get help#I'm functionally nocturnal and I keep staying up for like 48 hours and then sleeping for a day and I never know where I am#Or what day it is or if it's morning or night#Normal humans eat three meals a day and snacks right I think I maybe eat a snack every other day#I just don't feel hunger and my body hurts and cooking is so much effort I don't have#Weed used to help me be able to eat easily but now everything is just so hard and no food in house n cant go to store bc of ptsd too scary#I keep telling people when they ask that I am doing badly and need help but they as always just tell me to go to the store and buy food#Because it should be easy for a normal person!!! That would be such helpful and kind advice if I were normal#But I am not I am severely sick and traumatized and driving hurts so bad and stores give me panic attacks#Seriously if literally nobody cares about my struggling why not just be euthanized at this point?#This problem is so inconvenient to everyone and I have done all I can to convince people that I'm worth the inconvenience but :(#If I were worth talking to or visiting or helping people would have done that and I would be fine but I am not and that's okay#I genuinely don't mind being a husk at all#I'm just weirdly sad about it right now maybe because I think I feel hungry but genuinely I can't tell thanks autism#I also haven't been able to do my t shot in like three or four weeks I keep trying but I literally can't get the needle in :((#I imagine less testosterone in my system also makes me tired and lose my appetite#I'm so fucked up and nobody cares that I start my day at 8pm and am active and reply to emails and shit at 4am#Why would anyone notice that first of all but still. I would notice.#When even strangers are struggling I notice and I will do anything for anyone but it's selfish upon selfish to expect it back I understand#I keep looking for arfid and ed affirmations to help me but I can't find anything good#Genuinely . what the fuck#Just fucking need to be someone's dog feed me walk me put me in a cage teach me how to be better and treat me like I don't know shit#Because I don't I'm so stupid I can't even feed myself I'm dying please help me
4 notes · View notes
phagodyke · 7 months ago
Text
oh wow just saw flatmate messaged saying another friend passed smth on like oh okay. I didn't realise he went too u didn't say. in fact none of u said anything to me so that's great
#he lives hours away thats a lot of travel just for drinks#when she asked me she said it was her + one other person. going out for drinks in evening.#but clearly she took the day off work bc ghosts dont do laundry. so it was a whole day trip. so why tell me it was just drinks#unless she just wanted a good excuse for me not to come. okay 👍#i cant even make myself mad abt it like fair enough man. i get it.#and if last weekend is anything to go off she probably wont ask me at all in the future#well as long as they have fun it doesnt matter i guess. im tired of feeling like im just intruding in everyones lives#and everyone fucking lying like what u say doesnt line up with how u act i can tell its not real im not that fucking stupid#ive dealt with this so many times before average autistic experience im tired of naively believing ppl and then the rug being pulled#sorry for being the way i am and for wanting things and for trying to take up space i give up its not worth it anyway#at least this is giving me smth to feel shit abt instead of just formless malaise. makes it easier to deal with that way#anyway. just need to get my shit enough together to leave the house by 3 so i can pick up this stuff for work#and i can do most of my other chores tmr so thats fine#i hate how much fucking time i waste feeling awful. no wonder other ppl have time to watch n read n create n whatever so much more than me#half of my fucking life is spent in my head trying and failing to emotionally regulate im so so sick of it#i wish i never had to think a single thought again and maybe id be happy#jesus fucking christ. well i need to leave my room soon bc i need to pee im not depressed enough to piss in a bucket just yet#hope i never get to that stage again amen uni was pretty fucking dire#.vent#hate weekends so fucking much what a waste of free time
2 notes · View notes
solstheimtxt · 7 months ago
Text
Ive been trouble sleeping recently bc its been like, blisteringly hot. Like, fan is on full blast, no pants, only a light blanket and i go to check the temperature like wtf
>55 fahrenheit
YOOOO WE AT THE HOT FLASHES STAGE LETS GOOOOO
3 notes · View notes
starry-stan-blog · 1 year ago
Text
Conservative Christian blog: do you struggle with homosexuality?
Me: no, actually, I excel at it
8 notes · View notes