#i appreciate it all to hell and back but boy getting help feels like shit đ i feel like im being babied
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do i need help and comfort? yes
do i desperately want to gouge my eyes out when i receive it? also very much yes
#did i not sleep a wink crying? yup#did i break down at work and start sobbing in front of the strictest senior doc after he yelled at me? my WORST NIGHTMARE in residency? yup#was everyone actually really nice about it which made me feel WORSE? yes#senior doc sat me down and talked about setting boundaries and helped me a lot even if hes not my supervisor#the nurses who i snapped at and felt horrible were so understanding one nurse just chatted w me over an hour bout games n stuff to cheer up#my work wife stayed w me until 11pm! at my night shift and helped me so much and supported me#i appreciate it all to hell and back but boy getting help feels like shit đ i feel like im being babied#or worse i feel like im being pitied#and worst is i still feel like crap and tired and all cry-ish. my brains dumb as shit#vent tw#delete later#idk i need time off but cant have any đ« #everyone said i should call in sick after my next shift#maybe i should orz#burrito talks
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#this is a good one of these kinds of posts I swear#just wanna do a shoutout to my bestie even though I know he wonât see this#but I love him and feel like hyping him up anyway and donât wanna make a whole actual post about it and annoy everyone#anyway yesterday I took my car in for an oil change and tune up thing and didnât know how long it was gonna take so I set up a ride#with bestie back to my momâs place if it was gonna be a while but then they said itâd only be like an hour and a half or so unless there was#actually something wrong with my car in which case weâd just discuss it and go from there. so bestie picks me up at the car place and I tell#him that and say he doesnât have to stay and I can just wait there at the place if heâs busy but he says nah he gonna hang with me. asks if#Iâm hungry and wanna get lunch and I hadnât eaten yet so it worked out. went to the good Mexican place in town and order in their drive thru#I ask if he wants me to cash app him some money to cover my share and he very aggressively says âoh hell noâ which was honestly adorable and#really sweet. goes on to say âgirl you know you donât need to worry about moneyâ which is also super sweet and makes me feel all weird and#wiggly inside cause Iâm not used to people being kind to me in that way or just buying me shit just because. and heâs always doing that kind#of stuff too just paying for my food or sending me money if I pick stuff up for us or whatever. dude got bucks at least good for him. but#yeah anyway so we got the food and then he went to a gas station to get us drinks then parked and ate and hung out with me until my car was#ready to go. even offered me money to cover the cost for the car if I needed anything major done and I could just pay him back little by#little. thankfully car is all good but his sentiment was well taken and much appreciated. gave me a big hug before we parted ways as he#usually does and bro gives the best hugs for real theyâre so instantly comforting and you really feel the love they make me so happy. and he#even is gonna help me put together a new desk and chair at my house so Iâll have a place to do schoolwork at home and finally setup my tv in#my room. dude does so much for me and will then thank me just for hanging out with him as if I did anything special at all#this man deserves the whole fucking world and Iâd do anything for him. love him so much#so ye thatâs my hype post for my boy cause I just had to brag about him somewhere and get my feelings out#personal
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wish i never
pairing: Jaehyun x (f) reader
genre/warnings: smut, angst, debatable morals, unprotected sex, brotherâs worst enemy, forbidden love, markâs dad is a cop for the sake of plot, mentions of drugs and drug-related death
summary: Your brother, Johnny, hates Jaehyun and has never told you why. Although you intend on leaving it alone, unforeseen events thrust you into a forbidden love affair with Jaehyun. In between hookups and stolen kisses, you have to bury your feelings for Jaehyun around your overprotective older brother.
word count: 27.2k (listen⊠i donât know anymore okay)
a/n: this one lowkey kinda hit different for me cause iâve had a forbidden love and it broke me. you can kinda tell by how long this is lol ya girl went all OUT. as always, feedback is appreciated!
âAbsolutely not.â
âDude, come on,â Mark whined.Â
âHell the fuck no,â Yuta barked firmly, crossing his arms. âThe last time we gave you shrooms, you texted Johnny to ask him where your phone was.â
âAnd?â
âYou texted him from your own phone,â Yuta deadpanned.Â
You snickered. Your best friend and drugs were an infamously egregious combination. Mark Lee sober was already full of shit, but Mark Lee high on whatever substance he could get his hands on? Indescribably bad. You couldnât think of a word to even explain it.
Mark gestured over to you. âBut you gave her drugs.â
Yuta grimaced. âFirst of all, donât say that too loud. Johnny will kill me. Second of all, she can actually handle her shit and what can I say? She's a loyal customer.â
You added, âPlus Iâm not doing fucking shrooms. Yuta just deals me weed. If Johnny ever found out I was doing anything else, he would have a fit.â
Mark huffed something under his breath about how shrooms were the softest of soft drugs there were, not that it wouldâve helped his case.Â
Your lips curled into a grin as you joked, âWhy donât you just chug Jenoâs notorious punch and call it a night? Thatâs what Iâm gonna do.âÂ
âIâve actually got plans with a chick whoâs been dying to chug my notorious punch. Iâll be back later. Save me a drink, dude,â Mark said, grinning from ear to ear at a text message on his screen. Probably from the aforementioned chick that was begging to blow him, or so he said.Â
You pretended to wince, but gave him a high five in celebration. âAye, aye, captain,â you chirped, saluting him.Â
After Mark made a break for the stairs, you abandoned Yuta to make a beeline for the drink bar. There was no such thing as a party with some of your boys without drugs and alcohol. Your brother was an overprotective nuisance, but even he knew it was impossible to keep you away from your shots and the occasional marijuana.
Plus it would've been hypocritical as all hell, so he let it slide. Not that you wanted to press your luck with something harder. On some nights you were a little drunk and a little high, and it brought out the worst in you. You were certain all of Johnny's friends kept blackmail worthy videos of you doing the unspeakable and you were content with never knowing what all those fuckers had on you. The embarrassment would be enough to kill.
You clocked one girl dry-heaving in the corner on the way and it was all the discouragement required to make you reach for a can of beer instead. To your surprise, it seemed like somebody had a similar plan, their hand coincidentally dropping on the same one.Â
"Oh, I'm sorry. You can have itâŠ," you trailed, glancing up to make eye contact with nobody less than the devil incarnate.
Ricky looked surprised to see you, though you werenât sure why. If Jeno was throwing a party, you were bound to be in attendance. âWhat up, baby? Long time no see.â
âRicky, you lost the right to call me that the second I caught you with your pants to your ankles in a closet with what's-her-face.â
More importantly, you were frankly surprised to see him there. Your stupid ex was many things, none good, and his audacity? It was out of control. Part of you wanted to commend him, because it took guts to show his face around your side of town after you yanked his trousers down in front of everyone and their mother.Â
And yet he took that retort in stride. âBaby, how many times do I have to tell you that Iâm sorry? It was a mistake and Iâll never make it again.â
âYouâre absolutely right,â you replied, bobbing your head in agreement. âYouâre a sorry motherfucker and youâll never make it again, because weâre done for good.â
But Ricky just couldnât take the hint that you were so fucking over anything that had to do with him and crept closer, continuing darkly, âDonât you know youâre nothing without me? Nothing!â
Having surrounded yourself with enough drunk and high people countless times, it was obvious that Ricky was under the influence, which made him extremely capricious. He looked a grand total of two seconds away from reaching out and seizing you by your arm.Â
Your eyes darted across the room for anybody you knew, but it was difficult when dancing bodies obscured them from your field of view. Yuta had probably wandered to snag more drug deals, Mark was getting his dick wet, and Johnny and Taeyong were nowhere to be found.Â
You were about to resign yourself to the fact that you were positively out of luck until you heard a deep baritone ask from beside you, âDo we have a problem over here?â
It took all of two seconds to recognize its owner. Jeong Jaehyun, sang the little chorus in your head. Your brotherâs worst enemy. The beef seemed more than a little one-sided, but you didnât ask questions. For whatever reason, the mere mention of Jaehyunâs name made your brother tense.Â
It was clear that Ricky was sizing Jaehyun up and he snapped with potent venom, âWho the fuck are you?â
âThe hostâs cousin,â Jaehyun said, looking tall and foreboding, as if he was daring somebody to challenge him. âAnd you are?â
âThe love of her life.â
You didnât know how he could confidently lie like that, though you wouldnât be surprised if he wholeheartedly believed it, which was downright terrifying. You learned the hard way that this boy was as self-centered as they came.Â
Jaehyun took one look at you, and the glaringly obvious discomfort on your face, and replied, "Yeah, I don't think she wants to be around you. If I were you, I'd get the fuck out of here and never come back."
Ricky chuckled. "And if I don't?"
Jaehyun shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "Fuck around and find out," was all he said. His lips were drawn into a line and his gaze was fixed to your ex's idiotic face with a lethal stare. Not to mention Jaehyun had a couple of inches on him, which made you resist a satisfied little grin.
Obviously, Ricky wanted to stay and claim you as his pretty property, but even the lack of inhibitions didnât hinder his judgment at that moment. Like any wise person would, he made a beeline for the closest exit. It was common sense that Jeno and his associates were not to be fucked with.Â
Your shoulders relaxed when Ricky was gone. If anything, he had gotten off easy. He was lucky that you had no clue where Johnny was. You were positive he wouldâve knocked the sense out of him, if he had any, which was debatable.Â
âInsufferable prick,â you grumbled under your breath. Then, you glanced up to Jaehyun, who, to your surprise, was already looking at you. âThanks, Jaehyun. I donât know what he wouldâve done if you werenât here.â
Jaehyun still looked a little pissed, but your words seemed to make him soften. âYou donât have to thank me for that. Itâs basic human decency.â
âAnd some people donât even have that,â you replied, intending for it to be a joke, but it came out a little more melancholy.Â
If Jaehyun noticed, he said nothing about it.
Before he could even if he wanted to, something stitched your brows together and you mentioned, âHey, I didnât know Jeno was your cousin.â
âMe, neither.â
It took a second for that to settle in, but once you finally understood, amusement broke the confusion tensing your face and your lips parted in laughter. Jaehyun joined you. His bold-faced little white lie saved your ass, but ironically, that wasnât what you were focused on.Â
It was those deep, adorable dimples on both of his cheeks that somehow made him even more handsome.Â
Instantly, something in you chided, Bitch, donât check him out. Heâs your brotherâs worst enemy. Youâre out of your goddamn mind if you think youâre getting laid tonight just because heâs playing nice.
âI should go,â you said after a minute, finally grabbing a beer. âThanks again. I really appreciate it.â
You escaped before Jaehyun could tell you not to thank him. His eyes were fixed to your back, following you until you were obscured completely by partygoers. He knew you were Johnnyâs sister, but damn, you were kinda cute.Â
At least for now, Jaehyun wouldnât play with fire. Johnny almost kicked his ass one time and he wasnât exactly keen on getting his ass handed to him.Â
You were half tempted to stop by Jenoâs room to check if any of the guys were passing a blunt around in there, but the last time your curiosity got the better of you, you accidentally walked in on Jeno shirtless with some half-naked girl. Not a sight you wanted to relive, so you kept downstairs.Â
Your eyes scanned the living room for any familiar faces, but it was difficult to tell if anybody was there. There was a gigantic crowd dancing to Kiss Me Thru The Phone and you chuckled at a certain memory of Mark drunk-singing along to the lyrics.Â
âThere you are,â came a familiar voice beside you. Your gaze flitted to Johnny, whose face was stitched with concern. âTaeyong told me that he saw you with Jaehyun. You good?â
âIâm fine,â you hollered over the music. âJust heartbroken that Mark abandoned me to get laid.â
Any other time, Johnny wouldâve laughed, but his lips were pressed into a solid line. âHave you had anything?â
You rolled your eyes and exhaled a breath. âJust the beer in my hand, Johnny.â
He studied your face, as if he was attempting to figure out whether or not you were telling the truth, but ultimately decided to believe you. âListen, I just wanna look out for you. Youâre my little sister. If anything were to happen to you...â
âMom and Dad would kill you and dump your body in the woods for bears to find. Yes, I know,â you groaned exasperatedly, cutting him off. âI get it, Johnny. But I need you to get that Iâm not a little girl anymore.â
âIf you were a little girl, you wouldnât be here and we wouldnât give you weed.â
That comment wasnât even worth a roll of your eyes. You took a sip of beer and ignored it.Â
âWhy were you around Jaehyun anyways?â Johnny asked. It was obviously the question he was itching to ask. Probably wanted to make sure Jaehyun wasnât making any advances.Â
The memory of your bastard ex getting uncomfortably close to you after reaching for a drink he clearly didnât need, raising his voice at you in a way no woman should ever accept, made you shudder. âRicky decided to try and win me back. If you can even call it that.â
Johnny immediately perked up in anger. âWhat?â
âRelax. Jaehyun already took care of him. Thatâs why he was there. Nothing more, nothing less.â
âI swear to god, Iâm gonna kill that son of a bitch,â Johnny hissed, looking a total of five seconds away from giving someone a piece of his mind.Â
âRicky, or Jaehyun?â
âDoes it matter?â
You shrugged. Your lips parted to ask why he hated Jaehyun in the first place, but you cut yourself off. There was a reason why you didnât ask him months ago. Johnny mightâve been overprotective, but that was because he was your brother and he loved you. When he was ready, he would tell you.Â
The night dragged on. This one was a little more boring than usual, but that couldâve been chalked up to you still being shaken up about your encounter with your ex. You almost considered what wouldâve happened had Jaehyun not been around to intervene, but your mind dared not wander there.Â
Part of you wanted to know where he was camping out at. Surely, he had to be around here somewhere, but you werenât going to look. Especially not with Johnny on high alert. He was being extra careful, wanting to be there in case your ex was crazy enough to return.
You listed what you knew about Jeong Jaehyun. For one, he was fine as hell. That was undeniable. Secondly, he was lowkey, which was why you essentially knew nothing about him other than the fact that he was drop-dead gorgeous.Â
Sure, he made an appearance at these parties every now and then, but most of the time he kept to a tight-knit circle of friends and if they werenât there, there was no way in hell he was coming. Sometimes his roommatesâ threw parties at their house, but he rarely went downstairs, preferring to linger in his room doing fuck knows what.Â
You honestly couldnât blame him. People sucked. Most of them, anyways.Â
Only one day later, you were gripping an overlook, peering down at little critters splashing in the lake from the bridge above. For a long time, there was nobody there to join you other than your little nonhuman friends. You liked coming here every now and then to clear your head. It was your safe place, your happy place.Â
The sky was cloudy but there was only a nine percent chance of rain this afternoon, thus you werenât too worried. You needed to go somewhere. Home was too isolating, but everywhere else was too open.Â
You could be happy here. There were no entitled assholes or overprotective brothers around to get on your nerves every five seconds. It was only you and the gifts of nature.Â
And somebody else.Â
âI thought that was you,â said somebody from your side.Â
Imagine your shock when you turned and saw Jeong Jaehyun jogging towards you. In the fucking flesh.Â
It was harder not to check him out this time. The man was practically drenched head to toe in sweat, his very exposed skin glistening with moisture. The shirt he was wearing hugged his chest and it was all you could do not to salivate.Â
Rather than continue to rake your eyes up his frame, you asked playfully, âAre you stalking me, Jeong Jaehyun?â
Jaehyunâs eyes twinkled with mirth. God, how come you never noticed how pretty and brown they were? âActually, Iâm surprised. I was cutting through here instead of my usual jog route. The weather looked pretty bad.â
You snickered, crossing your arms. âYou didnât check the forecast before you left the house? Itâs not gonna rain. Probably.â
Jaehyun furrowed a brow. âProbably?â
âThat guy on the news is an infamous liar,â you grumbled under your breath.Â
Jaehyun chuckled. He wiped the sweat from his forehead, coming closer to the railing where you were, but kept a safe distance between your bodies lest he made you uncomfortable. âI told you why Iâm here. What about you?â
Your nose got an instant waft of Jaehyunâs scent and it was godly, which was shocking considering he was literally sweating everywhere. âOh, you know. I come here from time to time to think, or to not think. Depending on what the situation calls for.â
âReally?â
You bobbed your head. âYeah. Why?â
Jaehyun shook his head. âNothing,â was what he said, but in reality, he was thinking about how he passed this bridge nearly every goddamn day and never knew if he took a detour, heâd potentially cross paths with a pretty little thing like you.Â
You lifted a brow, but didnât press.Â
âAre you⊠okay?â Jaehyun reluctantly asked.Â
You bobbed your head. âYup, Iâm alright. Itâs just that Ricky approaching me has Johnny on edge, so now whenever I go out he and his friends are watching me like a bunch of hawks.âÂ
Jaehyun winced. âDamn. That must suck.â
âI get heâs doing it from a place of love, but fuck, sometimes I just wanna be left the hell alone, you know?â
Jaehyun nodded. God, did he know. And not only because he was an overwhelmingly introverted dude. âYeah, I know exactly what you mean.â
That caught your attention. âYou do?â
Jaehyun scratched the back of his head. âI mean, I donât have an overprotective brother, but I do have an overprotective mother. Itâs sweet and all, but do you know what it makes you look like when youâre on a date with a girl and your mom wonât stop calling you?â
Your lips couldnât help but curl into a grin. âAw, youâre a Mommaâs boy.â
âThis is exactly what I mean,â Jaehyun groaned.Â
âNo, itâs⊠cute,â you said, but it was impossible to control the giggles falling from your lips. âMost of the guys I know like that are sweethearts. Johnny, Mark. Maybe you.â
Jaehyun found that amusing. âYou think Iâm a sweetheart?â
You shrugged your shoulders. âMaybe. I donât know you well enough to decide, but seemingly, sure.â
âDo you want to?â
âDo I want to what?â
âKnow me better,â Jaehyun said, tentative. Almost as if he wasnât sure what he wanted.
That was the million dollar question. On the one hand, Jaehyun was cute and it most likely wouldnât hurt to spend a little time together, but on the other, there was the Johnny thing. You groaned. âGod, Johnny would have a heart attack if he knew I was with you right now. Maybe even an aneurysm.â
Jaehyun snickered with mischief. âWho said that he has to know?â
That response downright shocked you. You werenât expecting it from somebody like him, though then again, you knew virtually nothing about this boy and it only made you want to sate your curiosity. âOoh. Youâre trouble, Jeong Jaehyun.â
Jaehyun took that in stride. âIâm guessing you like that.â
Taking a step closer, you started to close the gap between you that Jaehyun had created for your sake. âHm, you know what they say.â
âI donât think I do.âÂ
âItâs always the quiet ones that deal the most damage,â you whispered sultrily, glancing into his gentle brown eyes.Â
Jaehyunâs eyes flickered. That caught him off-guard.
Then, you backed away and waved him goodbye. âIâve gotta go. Later, Dimples.â
Dimples? That was new. Jaehyun was pleasantly surprised by the nickname and he was so stunned that it distracted him from his train of thoughts.Â
It was only when you were long gone that he realized that you never answered his question.Â
You needed time to think, to decide if Jaehyun was worth potentially losing your brotherâs trust. You didnât know why he hated him, but his less than enthusiastic reactions to him said more than enough. Jaehyun was cute, but you could easily find another cute guy whose bones your brother didnât mention crushing.
But damn, you were curious. And curiosity killed the cat. You knew one thing, though. You were starting to like Jeong Jaehyun.Â
You shook your head, ashamed of yourself. This is really whatâs itâs come to, huh?
Jaehyun thought about that exchange on the bridge every now and then for the next couple of days and chastised himself for even making moves on you of all people. Sheâs his baby sister, you asshole. Sheâs off-limits.Â
Not that it would really stop him, if you let him have you.Â
It wasnât like Johnny had to know. Jaehyun could keep a secret and he assumed that you had a handful of your own. People with strict upbringings tended to have a lot of practice with being sneaky and your situation was close enough.Â
He sat on his bed and heaved a breath, playing with a lighter.Â
Meanwhile, you were with your boys, listening to them chatter about disgusting boy things but lowkey too curious to abandon your spot on the sofa that was too comfortable for its own good. Nobody liked sleeping on sofas, but you swore you wouldnât mind on this one. Plus sometimes youâd gotten drunk here enough where you almost dozed off.Â
You made a gagging noise when Mark started to talk about his nth blowjob of the week. You werenât counting, but he definitely was.Â
âYour dick probably has so much chlamydia that itâll mutate into a different variant like Covid,â Haechan teased.Â
You grimaced, but you definitely agreed.Â
âYouâre one to talk,â Mark snapped.Â
Haechan nodded, grinning proudly. âOf course, I am. I always wear condoms and get tested regularly. Iâm clean as a whistle.â
You shook your head in amusement. âIâve never understood the saying âclean as a whistle.â Like arenât whistles actually contaminated from being in someoneâs mouth? Now, when you combine that logic with your dickâŠâ
Jeno burst into laughter. Yuta obviously found it funny from the smile on his face and Mark would never miss a chance to laugh at his friendâs expense.Â
Haechan dramatically rolled his eyes. âAnd what about you, little miss? How often do you get laid?â
âDefinitely not as often as you guys,â you replied, coming to a stand. Not that you wanted to kiss the sofa goodbye. âIâll be right back. Iâve gotta tinkle.â
Markâs nose wrinkled. âYou didnât think that was too much information?â
You almost threw the remote at your best friend, but spared him. There was no way this dude was talking about too much information when he was literally giving you all a play-by-play of his sex life.Â
âIf it burns when you pee, Mark gave you the airborne strand of chlamydia,â Yuta joked dryly.Â
You left too quickly to see Mark attempt to murder Yuta and it was a shame that you had to miss it. There was no doubt that Haechan would exaggerate the moment to make you regret not being there, but right now, you were concentrated on finding the bathroom.Â
And of course, it was when you finally made it upstairs through the groups of bodies that you realized you didnât know where it was.Â
You groaned, cursing yourself for being so forgetful. Youâd only been here a couple of times and never long enough to use the fucking bathroom, apparently. And you really couldnât fucking hold it.Â
You glanced around the set of doors upstairs, incapable of keeping still. Thank god nobody was here except for you. If I was a bathroom, which door would I be behind?
You set eyes on a random door and said, âFuck it.â You marched right up to it and knocked none too gently, seeping with impatience.Â
To your surprise, it was Jaehyun that opened the door, a pair of headphones slung around his neck. And behind him was a bed, not a toilet.Â
Jaehyunâs eyes flickered with shock and he said your name. âWhat are you doing here?â
âOh, um, I was kinda looking for the bathroom. Iâm guessing this isnât it,â you said with a little humor, which was remarkable, all things considered. âWhat are you doing here?â
âI live here, baby.â
âOh.â You knew that, so the fact that it slipped your mind meant that you definitely werenât yourself when you had to pee.Â
Jaehyun had the audacity to laugh. He opened his door a little wider. âYou can use mine. Itâs that door over there.â
âThank you,â you said in relief, immediately darting for the bathroom.Â
You were even more relieved by the time you washed your hands and walked back into his bedroom, no longer fighting to keep still. Jaehyun was sitting on his bed where his headphones were now cast aside. God, how loud did you have to be knocking for him to hear you over those?
âYou sure were in a hurry,â Jaehyun teased.Â
You rolled your eyes, but a little laugh fell from your lips. You wholeheartedly blamed Jeno and his damn poisonous drinks. Sighing in relief, you glanced around Jaehyunâs room. For a boy, he was exceptionally tidy. He had vinyls organized on a shelf. âNo girls in here, I see.â
Jaehyun didnât know whether to be offended by that or not. âWhat do you think I am, a pimp?â
You snickered. âNah. Iâm just traumatized. Sue me.â
Jaehyun knew better than to ask questions that he didnât want to know the answers to, so he left it alone. âYou never answered my question the other day.â
âWhat question?â you asked. Obviously, you were playing dumb. You needed every second to think about what your response would be, although youâd had the past forty-eight hours and then some to contemplate.Â
Your damn brother was the only thing that stood between you and Jaehyun.Â
Johnny wasnât around this time for obvious reasons. There was no way in hell that heâd step foot in the house of his mortal enemy. He didnât want you to be there either, but you assured him that youâd steer clear of all things Jeong Jaehyun.Â
And it wasnât as if you had deliberately lied. It (kind of) wasnât your fault that you didnât know where the bathroom was.Â
âIf you wanted to get to know me better.â
You stepped over to his bed, sitting beside him and sighing. âJaehyun, you know my brother wonât approve.â
âI guess thatâs a ânoâ then,â Jaehyun muttered.Â
Your eyes glanced at his handsome face, then his beautiful, twinkling brown eyes, and finally his soft pink lips. And when they flitted so low, there was no looking back. You leaned in and pressed your lips to Jaehyunâs, waiting for him to kiss back, and when he did without hesitation your heart soared.Â
His hands flew to your back, eyes fluttering closed. God, he tasted as good as he smelled, and it was more than a little arousing. You made him fall against his mattress, straddling his hips and kissing him even deeper.
The change was welcome. His heart was racing just from locking lips with you and it took him to the sky. He grabbed a hold of your hips, which fit snugly in his palms, and listened to the soft sighs that slipped from your mouth in between the kisses.Â
Mark was probably downstairs wondering, Damn, bitch, how long does it take to piss?
You pulled back when a certain groan of his turned you on a little too much to be safe. Jaehyun was secretly disappointed, but he didnât complain, taking time to catch his breath. âIs that a maybe?â
You giggled and shook your head. âItâs a yes.â
Jaehyun sat up and grinned. He knew what he was getting himself into, but he didnât care. There was something about you that made him defy gravity.Â
Still straddling his hips, you threaded your fingers through his hair and leaned in to whisper into his ears, âWeâre playing with fire.â
âIronically, I thought the same thing,â Jaehyun deadpanned.Â
You chuckled. Well, if you didnât care, and he didnât care, nothing more needed to be said. You were really doing this.Â
Jaehyun realized that he already really liked holding you. You were warm and soft to the touch, and you fit perfectly in his arms. âHave you been drinking?â
âNope.â
âDid you do any drugs?â
âNot even a little,â you said, raising a brow at the question. Much to your chagrin, it reminded you of your brotherâs incessant worry. âWhy?â
Jaehyun said without hesitation, âBecause Iâve got weed.â
That was exciting. No wonder Jaehyun never came downstairs during his roommatesâ parties. The real party was in his bedroom. âGeez, Dimples. What are you waiting for?â
Jaehyun laughed at your enthusiasm and grabbed his lighter off his nightstand. You were flattered when he let you roll and even more when he praised your technique, which took years to develop. Thank god for your experienced friends.Â
The high had you hyper aware of everything. Jaehyunâs whole room smelled like him, to no surprise. As he said, he lived there, fuckâs sake. But it was pleasant and you were honestly forgetting that you even promised to return downstairs.
The guilt and pressure of keeping secrets from Johnny was heavy on your back a few moments ago, but after the marijuana settled in, you relaxed into Jaehyunâs side. He didnât seem to mind. Maybe it was the tree getting to his brain, but his hands got a little bolder, too.Â
And it also only enhanced your curiosity. âDo you do this often, Jaehyun?â
âYou mean invite girls into my room to talk and smoke?â
âYeah.â
Jaehyun took a drag and exhaled into the thick air of his room. âEh, not really. Iâve had girls in my room before, obviously, but it never really lasts.â
You werenât surprised. Any girl could see that Jaehyun was handsome as all fucking hell and you didnât expect him to be a total sexless loser. Matter of fact, if he told you that he was a virgin, you doubted that youâd even believe it.Â
âMaybe you havenât met the right girl then,â you suggested coyly.Â
Jaehyun chuckled. âMaybe.â
It was way too soon to ask if he thought you were the right girl, so instead you settled for asking where his interests lay. âWhat exactly are you looking for?â
Jaehyun knew the answer to that question in perfect detail because heâd thought about it countless times, being his typical hopeless romantic self. This was a boy that dreamed of finding his miss right before he went to bed. He was a simple guy. He wanted picket fences and kids. Perhaps a puppy.Â
But maybe it wasnât all too simple. Jaehyun wasnât searching for a housewife. He wanted someone to go to random old shops with and look at vintage items together. He wanted someone that didnât draw a lot of attention, but liked to go outside and explore. Money be damned. Thanks to his mother, he had ample cash, but no one to spend it on.Â
Jaehyun hummed, pretending to think about his answer. âGuess.â
You threw him a look. âAre you serious?â
Jaehyun bobbed his head eagerly, lips curling into a mischievous little grin. âIâll tell you, but I want you to guess first.âÂ
You sighed and glanced around his bedroom for clues, and fortunately enough, there were plenty. âVinyls from the nineties. Youâre an old soul and you want someone who fits your vibe. You smell like expensive cologne, so maybe you want someone to wine and dine, but you definitely want to be comfortable.â
Jaehyun said nothing, but you could tell that he was listening.Â
You looked at the pictures of him and an older woman framed on his nightstand and continued, âYou want the type of girl you can take home to your mother. And your mother wants the absolute best for her son, so she raised you to have high standards.â
âYouâre good at this,â Jaehyun muttered.Â
âIâm nowhere close to being finished,â you said, grinning from ear to ear. âJudging from the souvenirs on your shelf, you like going to different places, so you want someone curious and adventurous in nature. Appreciative and respectful of different peoples' cultures.â
Jaehyun was only smiling at this point. It was kind of funny and spooky being read like this.Â
âYouâve searched for love and havenât found something that feels right, so now you keep girls around for a good time, not a long one. And you love a damsel in distress, I think,â you said, concluding your investigation.Â
âWow,â was all Jaehyun said.Â
Though you already knew the answer, you pressed your lips into a smile and asked, âAm I warm?â
âYouâre on fire,â he replied, wondering how in the hell you got all that just from looking at his bedroom. âBut how did you know?â
âThat you love a damsel in distress?â
âThat Iâve looked for love and gave up on it.â
You almost rolled your eyes. You couldnât believe he was seriously asking that question. âNo offense, but you scream hopeless romantic. Plus youâre hot. You know your worth and what you want and I doubt itâs meaningless sex.â
Jaehyun had this melancholy look on his face for the briefest of seconds, but it disappeared so quickly you couldâve imagined it being there.Â
âI donât think you gave up, I think you took a little pause. You know sheâs out there, and when the timeâs right, youâll know.â Then, you abandoned the sadness and quipped, âBut youâre also a guy, and guys want sex.â
Jaehyun chuckled, but you had somehow penetrated his mind. You had part of him figured out and he didnât know what to do with that. It was too soon to get too deep.Â
You exhaled contentedly, but the marijuana had you thinking. You couldâve been wrong about Jaehyun. You had definitely been wrong before.Â
There was this tension in the room now that neither of you were equipped to handle. As standard when he was fooling around with a girl, there was a piece of him that wondered if it could be the real thing this time, but he didnât want to get ahead of himself.Â
It wouldnât have been the first time.Â
Jaehyun gave you back the blunt. âWhat about you - what are you looking for?â
âWho said I was looking?â you asked with obvious amusement.Â
That shattered Jaehyunâs former thoughts of possibly wifing you up one day. Of course you didnât intend on dating the dude your brother hated. It wouldâve been a very unconventional relationship. You could keep him around for fun, but it would have to end sooner or later.Â
So Jaehyun contentedly resigned himself to the fact that you would pass, just like all the other girls he brought up to his room, and decided he was fine with that. Maybe he had high standards, but youâd forgotten to mention the part that they came with moderate hopes and low expectations.
That way getting hurt was borderline impossible.Â
Then, Jaehyun started to grin like an idiot and reminded, âYou said that you think Iâm hot.â
âI literally said that ten hundred hours ago,â you groaned, exhaling a puff of smoke into the air.Â
You cried out in shock when he grabbed your hips and pulled you back onto him again, but instinctively leaned into his shoulder. Jaehyun was (usually) humble, but anyone who thought he didnât know he was hot was a fool. âAm I hot enough to kiss?â
Your lips tugged into a smile, and rather than directly answer his question, you went in for a kiss, holding the blunt away from his face so that he wouldnât get burned. Jaehyun effortlessly matched your rhythm and it was dumbfounding how he could be so excellent of a kisser.Â
You spent the better half of the night passing a blunt back and forth with Jaehyun, kissing and talking in between (featuring some inappropriate touches). Jaehyun was so fucking easy to talk to, the topics were boundless. Neither of you opened up much outside of your relationship goals and lack thereof, but you still got to know each other a little better.Â
Jaehyun loved music from r&b to jazz to soul, though you couldâve guessed how passionate he was after one look at his vinyl collection. He was flirty sometimes, but soft-spoken and very gentleman-like and he never once proposed for the two of you to have sex. Plus he was a bit of a goofball.Â
To say nothing of the fact that he could play the guitar. You didnât know why, but that somehow made him even more delightful.Â
It was pleasant to be in the presence of a guy that was simultaneously attractive and respectful.
Because it was far too late for you to drive yourself home when you finally started to get sleepy, he let you steal his bed and slept in the room of one of his roommateâs that was never home, according to Jaehyun.Â
Jungkook was what he said his name was. Apparently he basically lived full-time in his girlfriendâs apartment and Jaehyun didnât know why he still paid rent, but he didnât complain. It was going to be a sad day for his bank account when Jungkook finally moved out.Â
And that left Yugyeom. He was the one that threw all of the parties. You asked Jaehyun last night why he rarely came downstairs during those parties and his response was, âI donât like the attention.â
Morning had come loudly as ever. Birds chirped outside, singing sweetly. You stretched your arms above your head and yawned, unable to ignore the dark curtains that effectively kept the sunlight out.Â
The first thing you did was let a little light in. And the second thing was remember how you spent last night, memories of marijuana and laughter, and flirtatious behavior hitting you all at once. It seemed that Jeong Jaehyun was a promise of fun.Â
Grabbing your phone, you headed down the stairs and breathed a little in relief when you saw Jaehyun already awake, waiting by the toaster. âGood morning, Dimples.â
Jaehyun turned when he heard your voice and the smile that spread across his lips was instantaneous. âGood morning, beautiful. How did you sleep?â
âI shouldâve known that your bed would be as cool and collected as you are,â you quipped, rubbing your arms. It was colder without Jaehyunâs blankets to help strengthen the temperature.Â
Jaehyun shook with mirth and it was a sight you wanted to see more often.Â
âI couldâve slept on the sofa,â you said without complaint. âThe party was over by the time we called it a night and itâs the most comfortable sofa Iâve ever put my butt on.â
âIt goes against everything I believe in to let you sleep on a couch when thereâs a perfectly functional bed upstairs.â
âAw, what a gentleman,â you replied, coming to stand at his side. âI drew the curtains in your room open, by the way. I donât know how you live like a damn vampire.â
âWhatâs wrong with living like a vampire? Vampires are cool.â
âI donât think Vampires need Vitamin D. Humans do,â you retorted, arms crossed.Â
Jaehyunâs lips curved into a stupid little smile that reeked of mischief and you instantly knew where his thoughts were before he even said anything.Â
You rolled your eyes at his silliness and told him, âWhatever youâre about to say - donât.â
Bagels popped out of the toaster and the sight of food made Jaehyun forget about his previous shenanigans. He set both bagels on individual plates that already had food and said, âI made you something. Itâs not much because Iâve gotta go soon, but I didnât want you to be hungry.â
âThank you,â you said with gratitude, accepting the plate he handed to you. Plate in hand, you went to sit at the table, watching Jaehyun bring cups over.Â
âYouâre welcome,â Jaehyun told you gently. âNext time Iâll make you a real full-course meal as a treat.â
You gawked. âYou can cook?â
âA little bit, yeah. Why?â
âYou just got so much hotter,â you breathed.
Jaehyun grinned.Â
The time you spent together that morning was a duplicate of the night before except there were only the lingering overnight highs instead of the fresh ones. You were sad that you had to leave, but Jaehyun had to work and you needed to go home.Â
Sitting in your car, you checked your phone for the first time in hours. There had to be a thousand missed calls and unanswered messages from your friends and Johnny. Though it wasnât unusual for your phone to be on Do Not Disturb, it was definitely strange to not at least tell your loved ones that you were very much still alive.Â
You were just so hooked on Jaehyun that it completely slipped your mind to check your phone. There wasnât a dull moment upstairs in his bedroom and even when it was silent you were comforted by the sound of a vinyl playing quietly on his record player, which you were stunned that he even had.Â
You texted your friends to let them know that you were on the way home and called Johnny to get his usual tantrum out of the way before you got there, but it was safe to say that you werenât expecting to come back to Johnny and Mark waiting for you in the kitchen like two unhappy parents.Â
You reached into the cabinet to grab a glass and deadpanned, âUh oh. Am I in trouble?â
Mark snickered and he looked like mischief. âVery much so.â
Your gaze flitted towards Johnny, who was clearly the more disgruntled of the two, and asked, âWhy are you looking at me like that?â
âYou look like you had a long night.â
âThatâs probably because I did.â
âDid you hook up with anyone?â
You grimaced. âGross, Johnny. Do I ask you who and what you do with your dick?â
Johnny gave you a look that told you he was serious.Â
âNo, I didnât hook up,â you replied, filling your glass with water and hoping to find a way out of this situation so that you could shower and brush your teeth.Â
Johnnyâs lips were tugged into a frown. This older brother responsibility was far from easy when his little sister made it even harder to check up on her. âI worry about you. Is that a crime?âÂ
You exhaled a long breath. âYouâre right. I should have at least let you know that I was okay and I didnât, and Iâm sorry. I just got⊠distracted.â
That got Markâs attention and he butted in dramatically, âWhere did you go last night? I was this close to filing a police report, but it hadnât been twenty-four hours.â
Typical cop father response. That was half the reason why nobody wanted to deal him drugs. Thank goodness he had you to vouch for him. âAnd what would you do if I was off with a serial killer instead of some hot guy?â
âI wouldnât be too worried. Youâre annoying. They would return you on the front doorstep with a note that said âcome get your bitch back.ââ
You were tempted to roll your eyes, but you noticed Johnny laugh a little and it honestly made you feel somewhat better. He had been painfully uptight lately and you just wanted him to chill for once.Â
âIâm gonna go take a shower and brush my teeth,â you announced, discarding your glass in the sink and heading for the stairs.Â
Of course, Mark had more insults on deck and didnât hesitate to add, âYouâre gonna need more than that for all the cum you had to have gargled last night.â
âFor the last time, I did not hook up,â you huffed in exasperation, marching up the stairs. âAnd get the hell out of my house - you donât even live here!â
You could hear Mark laughing from the overlook.Â
A lot of time was spent counting down the hours until you could see Jeong Jaehyun again. You learned that he was not the type of guy to sit around waiting by his phone. This was a busy man with business to take care of and he didnât have a lot of spare time.Â
You didnât mind, because he spent it talking to you, which was definitely an indicator that he was starting to really like you. With so few hours in a week, let alone a day, it was hard to believe he let just anyone consume the little downtime that remained.Â
Jaehyun let you crash some nights at his place when your brother was being a massive thorn in your side. It wasnât a crime, but it was easy to get away with, all things considered. Yugyeom never bothered either of you and Jungkook was rarely there, so you spent most of the time talking incessantly and getting high.Â
Maybe some kisses were shared in between, but nothing more. Jaehyun was content with just getting to know you for now. His usual invitees consisted of one-night stands and girls he hung out with for a couple of weeks, but you were different. You made him think, high or not, and it was rare a girl penetrated his mind so deeply.
And so quickly. It had only been a month, maybe a little longer. He was still afraid of being completely open with you, but the way the two of you touched each other was starting to get riskier and riskier.Â
Kisses lasted longer. More than once, he caught himself going after your clothes, but he didnât want to seem like an animal. You did seem a little eager too, kissing the breath out of him and getting more and more flirtatious, but Jaehyun hated having to guess.Â
He wanted you to tell him what you wanted in no uncertain terms. No room for uncertainty.Â
Yugyeom knocked on Jaehyunâs bedroom door, which was already cracked ajar, and asked, âHey, is she coming over tonight?â
âYes, so please be on your best behavior. No bullshit,â Jaehyun replied, getting a whiff of the trouble that was Yugyeom and wrinkling his nose.Â
âHave you guys⊠you know?â
âThatâs a personal question.â
âSo you havenât.â Yugyeom pressed, âMan, when are you gonna tell her youâve got the hots for her? You know what, Iâll clear the house and leave a bottle of wine out. Light one of your expensive candles. Girls like that shit.â
Like hell Jaehyun needed advice on how to set the mood, from Yugyeom much less. Plus he was none too pleased at being interrupted, especially because now he was thinking about having sex with you and it was doing things to him down there. âI think I know what girls like.â
âThen whatâs the problem? And donât tell me that you havenât thought about it. Weâre both dudes, man. Thatâs bullshit.â
âThere isnât one,â Jaehyun replied to his roommate honestly. Of course, he had thought about having sex with you. He mightâve been respectful, but like Yugyeom said, he was still a dude. Hell, the words had come out of your own mouth.Â
Yugyeom prodded, âThen?â
âI just donât wanna rush into it.â
Now that Yugyeom could buy. Jaehyun was sentimental like that. When he really liked a girl, evaluating her worth took priority over getting laid. Jaehyun had this wall of ice put up that even Yugyeom had to steadily break through. Ironically, sometimes it felt like he was still on the outside.Â
But he put two and two together. If Jaehyun liked you - as in really, really liked you - then that made shit even more complicated. It was no secret that Johnny had it out for Jaehyun and he obviously came to the same conclusion that Jaehyun had; shit getting serious with you was dangerous.Â
So Yugyeom left it alone.Â
Like clockwork, you were pulling into Jaehyunâs driveway only a few hours later. You discerned that the lot was empty save for your car and Jaehyunâs which more than likely implied that the two of you would be completely alone in the house together.Â
Slipping the spare key from under the mat, you unlocked the door and sang after locking it behind yourself, âDarling, Iâm home!â
âIâm upstairs,â Jaehyun called out from the second floor, his room door obviously open for once. The benefits of having the house to himself.Â
You didnât hesitate to make your way upstairs, not failing to clock the bottle of expensive wine on the counter when you passed by the kitchen, but you thought little of it when you came through the hallway and slipped into Jaehyunâs comfortable bedroom. âHey, Dimples,â you greeted.Â
Jaehyun smiled at you and waved. His room was dimly lit. The overhead lights were turned off, but the candles on his nightstand were ablaze and there was an old school classic going on in the background.Â
The second you came in, Jaehyun set his book aside, giving you his undivided attention. âCome here.â
You wasted no time doing as told, advancing towards the bed and giggling when he snatched you into his open arms for a handful of kisses. Your whole body was soothed from his slightest of touches, at ease in his arms. Jaehyun had quickly become your second safe place.Â
God, you had been waiting for this moment all week. Johnny wasnât on your ass any more than usual, but it got lonely in that house and it was even worse when you found yourself only craving Jaehyunâs company. There was something happening to you and you couldnât tell if you liked it or not.Â
Jaehyun drew back after a minute, taking a moment to breathe and brush a loose strand of hair behind your ears. âThings okay at home?â
âNew topic,â you groaned.Â
Jaehyun winced. That couldnât have been too good.Â
âYou smell good,â you purred, breathing in his scent.Â
âYou always say that.â
âBecause you always smell good.âÂ
âI just got out of the shower.â
âWithout me?â
âYou sound like a guy,â Jaehyun said in disapproval.Â
You snickered. You had definitely gotten that comment from a boy before.
Jaehyunâs eyes were fixed to your face, taking in how beautiful you were. Damn, it was like every time he saw you, you looked even more breathtaking.Â
You couldnât help but stare back. Jaehyunâs visuals were out of this damn universe and it was borderline maddening he could be this fucking fine. But deeper than that, sometimes you couldnât help but stare into his dark eyes and wonder what all he was hiding back there.Â
It was plain as day that Jaehyun wasnât the type to wear his heart on his sleeve, especially not when his romantic feelings were involved. In the time that youâd spent together, you had gotten to learn some things about him, but there was plenty that he filtered out as a defense mechanism.Â
When you wanted to get closer, Jaehyun shut down, which was totally ironic, because he was the one that asked if you wanted to get to know him. Now you had to fight for it?
Maybe he meant get to know his body and you were oblivious - and you wouldnât have minded one bit - but if that was the case, you shouldâve already had sex and been out of the picture. Yet he was keeping you twice as long as most girls lasted and for no apparent reason.
Sex made things more complicated. If you had sex with Jaehyun right now, and it was good, there was absolutely no telling how that would shift the trajectory of your entire life. But the way he was looking at you right now tempted you to risk it all.Â
Your lips found Jaehyunâs again, but the kiss was different this time. It was needier, desperate. It sent heat stretching through every bone in your body and straight between your thighs, and you felt like you were levitating. Your body scorched with desire, hands running down his chest.Â
Jaehyun kept up with your reckless kissing very well, but he couldnât ignore the nature of it and it made him ask himself questions. You were kissing him like you wanted him. Tired of wondering, he pulled back and asked forthrightly, âDo you want to have sex with me?âÂ
âIsnât it obvious?â you countered, quickly seizing the opportunity to return your lips to his.
All of this beating around the bush was getting on his nerves and Jaehyun took matters into his own hands. Literally. You gasped when he pushed you onto your back, pinning you onto his bed, and locked your wrists above your head. âI want to hear you say it.â
Now that was sexy as hell and your thighs involuntarily pressed together. âI want to have sex with you.â
That was all Jaehyun needed to hear. He was quick to catch your lip in between his teeth and seal your lips in another heated kiss, taking in your every trembling exhale. You moaned into his mouth, a little too enamored with how good it felt beneath him.Â
His hands released your wrists in favor of your waist, testing the waters. You were reactive to Jaehyunâs touches, hyper aware of his hands steadily falling lower, but not daring to touch you too intimately yet. Like he was waiting for something to happen.Â
Jaehyunâs eyes sank to your empty neck and something deep in the pit of his gut was set on fire. âAre marks okay?â
Making quick work of his shirt and tossing it over his shoulders, you nodded your head. âYeah. Johnny will notice, but heâll never assume theyâre from you.âÂ
It took absolutely nothing else for Jaehyun to connect his lips to your throat hungrily, leaving mark after mark on your skin in an effort to stake his claim to you. And all it did was turn you on further. There was a thudding between your legs, arousal spilling over.Â
Little soft sighs and curses slipped from your lips and you could feel the bedroom get hotter and hotter. It wasnât as if you and Jaehyun had agreed to be exclusive, but you hadnât been with anyone else in the time that the two of you had been hanging out, meaning it had been over a month since youâd last had sex.Â
And it fucking showed. You were aching for more, on top of your natural desire for Jaehyun. If you didnât fuck his brains out right now you were going to self-destruct.
âJaehyun, fuck me,â you groaned impatiently.Â
Instead, he grinned, too fond of the neediness in your voice and on your pretty face. Jaehyun looked you plain in the eye and said, âI want you to beg.â
You were too gone to roll your eyes, but not too out of it to retort, âMake me.â
âIâm gonna make you beg, alright,â Jaehyun said without question. He made a move for your shorts and tugged them off your ankles, repeating the gesture with your panties.Â
The only thing that kept you from being totally naked was your top but Jaehyun didnât look too concerned with getting rid of it yet. Instead, he focused his undivided attention between your legs, entranced by your glistening core and his mouth going dry with the desire to have a taste.Â
You watched the enthrallment on his face with satisfaction. Funny how his ability to conceal his emotions went out the window when pussy was involved. His eyes were dark as ever and Jaehyunâs voice somehow got deeper when he asked, âWill you let me taste you?âÂ
âFuck,â you mumbled, sensing that he was about to wreck the living hell out of you. âUh, yeah. Yes.â
No room for uncertainty. Now that he had your consent, Jaehyun gathered your legs in his hands, tossed them over his broad shoulders, and went to town. You gasped aloud at the first pass of his tongue at your clit and it couldnât have been further from tentative.Â
Of course this man went straight for your sensitive bundle of nerves instead of your slick folds, he knew better. Given how exciting the thought of Jaehyun dicking you down had been, you were already throbbing, but now you were tense and unstill.
There was something about the feeling of his lips sucking and licking at your cunt that made you squirm and cry out in an overwhelming bolt of pleasure. Jaehyun clamped his big hands onto your thighs to keep you pliant, holding them right where he wanted them, and kept eating you out.Â
It made zero sense how hot you found every little thing that he did.Â
âJesus, fuck,â was basically all that you could say. With how vigorously Jaehyun was sucking at your bundle of nerves, it was getting borderline impossible to think.Â
Jaehyun sure didnât seem timid. Matter of fact, the way he refused to shy away from in between your pair of legs, doing everything in his power to keep them separated at both sides of his head, said loud and clear that he was a man on a mission to make you unravel.Â
Not to mention that he was doing a damn good job. Your ears were hardly even working, the whole world fading to static, the only audible sound being the incessant throb of your pulse quickening by the minute.Â
The sheer opposite was true for Jaehyun. His ears were on full alert and he could hear everything from the increasing volume and speed of your breaths plus your soft moans to the gentle rustling of the trees' leaves outside his open window.Â
Jaehyun peered up at you, noticed the euphoria tensing your beautiful features, and his lips broke into a wide grin. âHow are you doing up there?â
No words would come. It took twice as long to even process the ones that left his mouth. Your eyes were drooping and misty, damp with moisture, and all that escaped you was a befuddled, âFuck.â
Jaehyun snickered. That was answer enough. âIt sounds to me like youâre having a fun time,â he started. âDo you want to cum?â
You obviously heard that and hissed, âDonât ask stupid questions.âÂ
âIf you want to cum, then beg me for it,â Jaehyun growled darkly. You appreciated the brief lull of peace, but of fucking course, it was that moment Jaehyun chose to press a long pair of fingers into your dripping pussy.
Your back arched and your soft cries filled the air. It felt like somebody had given Jaehyun the blueprints to your body with how he excelled at satisfying you in ways literally nobody had previously.Â
The answer was obvious. Jaehyun wanted you to beg? Fuck it. You would beg.Â
âPlease,â you said, your voice raising a few pitches. âOh, god. Please make me cum, Jaehyun.â
Jaehyun didnât make a sound but you could feel his mouth on your cunt again and knew that he was about to take you there. Â
And then it came. The mind-numbing orgasm engulfed you in its fury and you were scarred with burns from head to toe, most of it pivoting towards your core.Â
Your hands desperately grasped locks of Jaehyunâs soft fluffy hair in an attempt to anchor yourself and you didnât release him from your clutches until every tremble faded. Jaehyun got so aroused watching you shudder with release that he swore his own mind went blank.Â
It took a good minute and a half at the least for your mind to start to clear itself and you sighed pleasantly as the wrath of your orgasm slowly began to die out. You peered down at Jaehyun, blinking a couple of times, and slackened your grip when you realized how tightly your hands were latched to him.
Jaehyun didnât seem to mind, contentedly watching you try to gather your bearings. âAre you back to earth?â
âBarely,â you rasped, still unable to feel your thighs.Â
âDo you want to stop?â
You gawked. âAre you kidding? I still wanna fuck you. If you still wanna fuck me.â
âI still want to fuck you,â Jaehyun said, pulling you in for another hot but reassuring kiss. It was hard to breathe, but so worth it. You slipped your tongue into his mouth and tasted yourself on his.Â
Kissing you made Jaehyun feel like he was ascending, but right now it also made his dick ascend and his patience was steadily dissipating into thin air. You could feel his hard-on against your naked thigh and it sent shock waves to your brain.Â
I think thatâs the best head Iâve ever had, you admitted to yourself, but not aloud. Your dating history wasnât top secret but you spoke little of it to Jaehyun. Did it matter that all of your exes were scumbags and rarely bothered to get you off?
Except for one. The sex was good, but it wasnât a fair trade-off for your heart. No man nor his cock was worth your sanity and you told that to yourself every time you engaged with one.Â
Plus you just got this weird feeling where nothing or nobody else mattered when you and Jaehyun were alone together. You didnât think of the various roots of the stresses in your life and calmness was finally an option.Â
You didnât want to ruin that, so you didnât get too deep.Â
But you were hoping Jaehyun was packing enough to be deep inside of you. Fuck that, you had felt it against your thigh. You knew that he was and it was exciting.Â
Your voice was weighed down by the thickness of your breaths. âDo you have condoms?â
âAlways,â Jaehyun replied, pulling a drawer open on his nightstand to retrieve one.
That was a relief. You had never done it raw before and though you liked Jaehyun, you werenât sure where his dick had been and what all it had seen. Youâd rather be safe.
Jaehyun gently pushed you back onto the mattress and crawled over you, drawing the condom between his teeth while he tossed your shirt and bra halfway across his bedroom, then whispered, âTell me how you want it.â
âHard and deep. Deep and hard,â you confessed sultrily, looking him dead in the eye.Â
Jaehyun smirked. âThat can be arranged.â
You watched Jaehyun shuffle out of his pants and put the condom on, but the bulk of your attention was set on that thick, girthy cock. Your mouth was watering. Maybe some other time you could suck him off, but right now getting it between your thighs was all you wanted.Â
It didnât seem as if he glanced up, but Jaehyun said, âYouâre staring.â
âSorry.â
âNo, youâre not,â Jaehyun said.Â
You giggled. âNo, Iâm not.â
The sound faded when you spread your legs apart invitingly and he penetrated you at an excruciatingly slow pace, sinking deeper inch by fucking inch.Â
You and Jaehyun made a sound in harmony when he finally filled you to the hilt, grasping your waist and using it as anchor like he was at risk of going dangerously deep if he made one wrong move and never returning to the surface.Â
Good thing it was only the two of you. You, keeping quiet when he was this good with his hands and presumably even better with his thick cock? There was no way in hell.Â
âOh my godâŠ,â you whispered, obsessed with the sensation of being filled.Â
Whatever you were thinking right now, Jaehyun wholeheartedly agreed. You made his brain grind to a halt and stutter. âDoes that feel okay?â
âMore than okay,â you told him, because it was the truth. Somehow the pleasure was only spiking. The ecstasy continued to build.Â
You looked so beautiful beneath the golden-yellow hue of his lamplight and Jaehyun knew he would be fantasizing about how your face tensed with pleasure for weeks, if not months.
Jaehyun especially liked the way you were tightening around his cock, gripping it for dear life as if letting go simply wasnât an option. You wound your legs around his hips and helped draw him into yours in spite of knowing it could ruin you, a telltale sign that your desire for more outweighed any rational thinking.Â
It just felt so good that it had to be illegal and though you knew that it wasnât, it was damn near close.Â
There was still music playing from the vinyl player in the background that soothed any and all nerves that you couldâve ever had. You took a moment and inhaled deeply, breathing in the musk of Jaehyun and the scent of the candles.Â
Your eyes fluttered closed. It was ironic that you were on a raging high even though you hadnât even gotten around to having your usual fill of marijuana. In legal terms, you were far from inebriated. But according to yourself? You were fiending for Jaehyun and found him lethally intoxicating.Â
His weight on top of you. His deep, guttural grunts in your ear between his jagged breaths. His perfect thrusts and the way he stroked you exactly how you wanted, all the while reaping his pleasure from your body.Â
It was fucking mind-blowing.Â
Jaehyun had a similar thought and it tore a noise out of him. His intentions in inviting you over tonight werenât to have sex, in spite of his roommateâs attempts at getting him to get laid when he was only trying to break you in, but it was an unregrettable decision.Â
âYou take it so good, baby,â Jaehyun said tenderly, but it barely scratched the tip of the iceberg of praises he had in storage especially for you.Â
Fuck, you wanted to hate how easy it was for him to kindle these rash flames inside of you, but your attraction to Jaehyun became undeniable the second you initiated the first rendezvous.Â
You were peering into Jaehyunâs soul, searching his whole face without knowing what you were looking for, and saw the euphoria fluttering his eyes closed and spreading his lips apart just enough for those heavenly sounds to slip through.Â
You guessed you found it then, because the tightening in the pit of your gut was at an all-time high and it wasnât skipping out on the extremes.Â
Combing your hands through his hair, you whimpered, âIâm so close.â
Jaehyun accelerated his pace, wanting to take you to the ends of the earth and back. You noticed, because you could feel his hard dick slapping against your hips with a purpose, and you swore to god your eyes rolled somewhere black.Â
The end was creeping up on you from behind. You could feel it. Jaehyun could feel it himself, the telltale twitch of his cock indicating that he was pushing his limits.Â
âI want you to cum,â Jaehyun growled in no uncertain terms, his tone dominant. âNice and hard. Can you do that for me, baby?â
âYes,â you choked out.Â
If you were being frank, he didnât even have to ask. It was impossible to hide the evidence of your impending orgasm, the heightened tremors in your voice and the shakiness in your body were more than enough proof.Â
All you could think about was how restlessly you were going after this orgasm and how terribly you needed it like it would fix every little thing going wrong in your life.
Your hands slipped from Jaehyunâs hair to his shoulders to finally his back, raking your nails down the flesh in a set of ministrations that were bound to leave red lines, and you rasped breathlessly, âFinish me.â
The hoarseness of your voice alone couldâve broken Jaehyun but he hung on for your sake, fingertips flitting to your sensitive, swollen clit again because he knew he wouldnât last very much longer.Â
You were even more restless than before and it wasnât long until Jaehyun granted your wish, your lips parting in a scream and your vision going totally black. Your toes curled into tight bends as you grinded your hips into Jaehyun, milking your release for every damn dime.
Jaehyun could feel you clenching rapidly and repeatedly around his cock and merely seconds after that it was game over. He came with the deepest, sexiest groan you had ever heard before in your life, hips stuttering as his cum filled the condom, and all you could think about was how this could not be a one-time thing.Â
The next few minutes were a blur. You only recalled Jaehyun peeling off you to dispose of the condom, the layers of sweat on your naked bodies keeping you connected, and returning to your side briefly.Â
Jaehyun scanned you for any signs of obvious discomfort. âAre you okay?â
Your mouth was hanging open, aggressive pants falling from your lips, but Jaehyunâs attention was no longer focused on your heaving chest - it was on you. âNo, more like incredible.â
That had Jaehyun in the first half, but he snickered in amusement and relief when you wrapped up your sentence. âDo you wanna shower with me?â
âThatâs kinda intimate,â you said, as if that was actually going to stop you. âHell yeah, I do.â
Jaehyun rolled his eyes, but there was a smile plain as day on his face. You cried out in surprise when he hauled you into his burly arms, hooking one of them under your knees, and carried you into his bathroom.Â
Your own individual toothbrush was in there on the sink counter squarely beside Jaehyunâs. It was only right that he let you keep one there, given how many late Friday nights you spent at his house instead of your own.Â
Plus some of your clothes were there, tucked into his drawers, but when you returned to his bedroom, you donned one of his shirts that was unsurprisingly oversized on you.Â
You sat on Jaehyunâs bed, memories of what youâd just done on his sheets still fresh, and watched him rifling through his vinyl catalog, but because he was shirtless you quickly got distracted by the view you had of his back.Â
At least until he turned around after setting the vinyl on his record player, apparently oblivious, and coming to sit at your side.Â
There was mischief on your face and you were struggling to stifle a giggle. It was obvious, and Jaehyun furrowed his brows. âWhy are you looking at me like that?â
âOh, nothing.â
Jaehyun didnât believe you at all, but he didnât press.Â
You sighed contentedly, leaning into his naked chest. The little voice in your brain was thinking about how he smelled so clean and fresh, and good. Well, duh, she snapped. If you somehow werenât paying attention, he just got out of the shower.Â
But you were definitely paying attention, maybe a little more than you shouldâve. It wasnât your fault he looked like the leading role of every romance book ever. This was a man out of every little girlsâ childhood dreams and, more importantly, every grown womanâs wet ones.Â
As Jaehyun held you in his arms, you couldnât help but think, spotting little items in his room that screamed, I come from money. âJaehyun, is it okay if I ask you a question?â
Jaehyun hummed. You figured he mightâve been close to dozing off, but in reality, he was just captivated by the smell of your hair and hoping it lingered on his pillows.Â
âYouâre pretty well-off, but you live with two other guys. Youâre technically always alone, but you donât live alone. Why?â
Now that wasnât what Jaehyun was expecting you to ask him, but you were full of surprises. He took a moment to ponder his answer, finding himself reflecting. âItâs because of how I grew up, I guess. I was the only child, so it was just me and my parents in the house. I guess I kind of wanted to know what it's like to have brothers.â
You made a noise of content. âYouâre close then.â
âYup.âÂ
You could feel Jaehyun playing with your hair and it made you smile gently.
âWhat about you and your friends?â
âWhat about them?â
âWhatâs the relationship like? Have you fucked Mark?â
You were taken aback, though rather than be affronted, the ridiculousness of that question made you laugh. âNo way. I prefer my vagina itch-free,â you quipped.Â
Jaehyun chuckled. It was a shock that that kid got around town the way he did, but that was why Jaehyun had to respect the hustle.Â
Then, out of nowhere, you got a little sober. âOn a serious note, Mark is my bestie and heâs what I imagine having a little brother is like. Johnny really likes him too, so sometimes Iâll walk in on them hanging out without me.â
You didnât notice the way Jaehyunâs head bobbed along, but he was listening. It was believable. Mark was a social butterfly and impossible to dislike, no matter how irritating.Â
And he was only irritating to some. Those who didnât find him to be a thorn in their side probably wanted him a number of inches deep in their guts.Â
You continued, âYuta is more Johnnyâs friend than he is mine, but heâs laidback. Haechan is a little shit but heâs funny as fuck. And you know Jeno is chaotic as ever.â
You were fond of your circles of friends. Most folks assumed it mustâve been suffocating to be the only girl amongst a group of insufferable horny dudes, but it wasnât half bad. Jeno had tried to get into your pants before, but when you turned him down he took the rejection coolly.Â
Mark, like you said, was like a sibling to you and that went both ways. When somebody suggested the two of you hook up, his knee-jerk reaction was to hiss, âEw!â
Haechan was a slut like all of them but he knew better than to slut himself out to you and Yuta, though you already couldnât have been further from his type, was one of your older brotherâs closest friends. According to Yuta himself, the thought of being in a relationship with you was hilarious.Â
Never mind the fact that he admitted heâd actually do it, but strictly for fun. Pissing off Johnny was his full-time job and dating his younger sister? It wouldâve been the easiest way.Â
You and Jaehyun chatted until you couldnât ignore each otherâs incessant yawns and made the mutual agreement to crawl under the sheets together. A rare Jungkook appearance one weekend forced you into bed with each other and ever since that was how youâd slept.Â
Side by side, skin to skin.Â
The sun was brighter than ever when you woke up some hours later. You noticed that the curtains were open. And they had been since you likened Jaehyun to a vampire.
Speaking of Jaehyun, he was still sleeping like a rock beside you, completely still other than the gentle heave of his chest as he snored quietly. You crawled gingerly out of bed so as not to disturb his rest, the sight of him still asleep when you stood making you sigh out in relief.Â
After a quick wash-up in the bathroom, you headed downstairs for a snack. Your stomach was rumbling and you realized that you hadnât eaten since you left home.Â
What you didnât expect was to see Yugyeom half-naked in the kitchen though.Â
You werenât sure why. It was his house and if he wanted to walk around like he just went skinny dipping, then he had that right. Fortunately, he was wearing sweatpants, so you were spared from that unsightly picture.Â
Yugyeom heard your footsteps and turned. âOh, hey. Sleep good?â
âI only slept for a few hours,â you confessed, though you felt like you were quite well-rested. âBut yeah, I slept pretty good.â
Yugyeom chuckled. âI bet.â
You said nothing else. Yugyeom wasnât a total stranger, even before you started crashing at his house, but you werenât close by any means.Â
âI didnât think youâd be here,â you said after a pause, straddling a barstool.Â
âI mean, I do live here. Who do you think pays most of the bills?â
âJaehyun,â you chirped.Â
âOkay, thatâs fair. Who do you think pays the second most of the bills?â
âYou and Jungkook, but it wasnât always that way.â
Yugyeom threw in the towel, realizing Jaehyun had most definitely had this discussion with you at some point. Then, he started to laugh. Jaehyun was discussing their finances with you? There was no way in living hell.Â
Iâll be damned. Yugyeomed sighed in amusement. âYou know, youâre the first girl Iâve seen last this long with Jaehyun.â
âOh?â
âIâm not saying heâs a player, but I thought Iâd stop seeing you around here, like, two weeks ago. For a girl to survive a month with him, she has to really crank up his brain. And Jaehyun isnât easily impressed,â Yugyeom said.Â
It was obvious what he was implying and you knew exactly where this was heading. âIâm sure, but Jaehyun and I are just vibing.â
âI didnât say that you werenât.â
âYes, but you think that we arenât,â you replied, rubbing your arms. It was always cold the mornings after.Â
Yugyeom laughed. âNo, I donât. Not right now. I didn't even crack Jaehyun that soon. All Iâm saying is Jaehyun is a real gem and I think that you have a solid chance.â
âAnd you want me to take it?â
Yugyeom was strategically bouncing around, going from subtly planting ideas in your head to making them seem as if they were your own. âWhatever you do with that information is out of my hands and none of my business.â
Your lips parted to speak, but you were fortunately saved by the bell. Footsteps were heard from the hall and Jaehyun emerged from around the corner, voice deep from sleep, âWhat are you two talking about?â
Yugyeom lied without hesitation, âHow handsome you are, of course.â
Jaehyun didnât believe it for a second, but he stole the barstool beside you and gently nudged your elbow. âYou think Iâm handsome?â
âOh, the handsomest,â you deadpanned, but rested your head onto his shoulder.Â
Jaehyun let you. At least for a little while, but then he pulled you into his chest and mumbled groggily, âYou left me.â
âIâm sorry,â you whispered, your hands tangled into his dark hair. âIâll stay next time.â
âGood.â
Yugyeom was peering into the fridge, shaking his head, wondering if he was the only one that saw your fate.Â
The whole weekend was spent in Jaehyunâs arms, restless. If you werenât getting high on marijuana and chatting about whatever came to mind, you were dancing to one of his vinyls. If you werenât kissing each other breathless, you were fucking each other senseless.Â
It was two days of whimsical fun, ignoring the world and its insignificant little woes. In many ways, Jaehyun was like your oasis.
You were starting to hate Mondays. They were the days where you realized that nothing was forever, every time without fail. The days you had to finally face the world after a weekend of neglecting its existence.Â
Plus you didnât get a lot of Jaehyun during the other five days of the week, and though you understood your conflicting schedules, it was getting less and less easy to cope.Â
Finals week thankfully gave you less time to think about whatever the hell was blossoming between you and Jaehyun. You didnât want to think about it, because you were well aware that it wouldnât last. As perfectly as Jaehyun molded into you, there was no piece of him that fit the bigger picture.Â
But of course, you were pacing down your schoolâs courtyard with a bag slung over your shoulder when you noticed Markâs footsteps catching up to you. âWanna tell me why Johnny asked me if youâve been going out with somebody lately?â he asked.
You pretended to be oblivious, keeping your head straight and your steps quick. âWhy would he ask you that?â
âBecause Iâm your best friend and you tell me everything, or so I thought,â Mark hissed.
You groaned, weighing your options. You could keep this private love affair to yourself and let the guilt and pressure split you down the middle, or you could confide in your best friend and hope it took the edge off.Â
Pulling Mark behind a tree and scanning your surroundings for unwanted bystanders, you exhaled roughly and said, âDonât freak out, but I may or may not be sleeping with Jeong Jaehyun on the weekends.â
Mark was understandably dumbfounded by that information and screeched aloud, âWhat the fuck, dude?â
âI just said donât freak out!â
Mark shook his head, the total opposite of cool and collected. There was no way in hell he wasnât going to freak out. âAre you kidding? Johnny literally wants to kill him.â
âGod, I know,â you bemoaned, pressing a palm to your forehead. This whole situation combined with the stress of finals was giving you a splitting headache.Â
The shock was still evident on Markâs face, but he seemed to be cooling off. âShit, dude. This is crazy. Is the sex at least good?â
Your mind was fluttering with memories and it was hard to resist a smile. Getting laid right now would probably fix you. âJeong Jaehyun may be a scoundrel for whatever reason, but I can reassure you he is not lacking in the sex department.â
Or any department. It was strange that in the weeks the two of you had spent bonding and the like, you had yet to identify a single red flag of Jaehyunâs. Apparently, the weirdest thing about this boy was the amount of pictures he kept of his toes.Â
âOh my god,â Mark gasped.Â
âWhat?â
âThat night you went upstairs to pee and didnât come back,â Mark started, finally connecting the dots and displeased he hadnât seen the hints earlier. âYou were off screwing Jaehyun, werenât you?â
âActually, no. I was with him, yes, but we werenât hooking up then.â
Mark was baffled to very fucking his core. That had to be half a decade ago. This whole time, you were spending your spare time on Jaehyun and nobody knew?
Gripping Mark by the shoulders, you stared into his eyes and said sternly, âListen. You canât tell Johnny.â
Your best friend made a face of disapproval, but nodded his head. âAlright. Fine.â
âIâm serious. You have to promise.â
Mark groaned, âDude, Iâm not gonna tell Johnny that youâre fucking Jaehyun. No matter how bizarre and borderline batshit insane that is to say aloud. I promise your secret is safe with me.â
You released his shoulders and a shaky breath, relenting. âOkay.â
âBut that doesnât mean that I approve.â
âUnderstandable. I can live with that.â
âI donât see how,â Mark grumbled under his breath.Â
You frowned.Â
Months flew by. Christmas and News Year were a blur, two events you and Jaehyun spent at separate locations. Your parents were rarely home, but the winter holidays were a period of time that they always made sure to be around for. And Jaehyun paid his family a visit that week.Â
But then it was February, and the national holiday that was Jaehyunâs birthday came of nowhere.Â
âNo way you were born on Valentineâs day,â you remembered telling him a few months back after asking him about his birthday. Jaehyun had groaned, more than accustomed to how this conversation played out. This was far from his first rodeo.Â
Though it was rare that a girl made it to actually celebrate his birthday with him.Â
Idiotically, you found yourself scorching with nerves that afternoon, overwhelmingly anxious. Your whole body was tense and you paced around your room antsily for hours until it was time to get in your car and head out to Jaehyunâs house.Â
You had gotten him a gift and you werenât sure whether he would like it or not. Then again, you had spent weeks planning what you would give him based on every second of every little conversation youâd shared and you were half confident, half uncertain.Â
Jungkook opened the door to leave at the same moment you were preparing yourself to go inside, most likely heading to his girlfriendâs place after spending the morning celebrating his friendâs birthday, and held the door open for you. âUh, do you need a minute?â
âNo. Thank you,â you replied bashfully, catching the door and finally turning inside.Â
You took one more deep breath and paced upstairs while gripping the box in your hands so tightly it mightâve broken.Â
Jaehyun was sitting on his bed, his guitar in his hands instead of standing upright in the corner of his bedroom as typical, and glanced up when he heard your footsteps. âHi.â
âHi, birthday boy,â you greeted.Â
Jaehyun was smiling. You had already wished him a happy birthday at midnight on the dot which was a sweet gesture in itself.Â
âI, uh, got you something,â you said, mentally cursing yourself for sounding so nervous.Â
âI can see that.â Jaehyun set his guitar aside. There was curiosity in his stare, but he whispered, âYou didnât have to.â
âBut I wanted to. Youâre my⊠friend,â you told him awkwardly, handing over the gift before it made you say something stupid. âI didnât know what to get a guy who has literally everything he wants, but I tried.â
Jaehyun accepted the gift box graciously, peeling off the wrap, and said, âWhatever you got me is more than enough, baby.â
You sure hoped so. You didnât spend the past few weeks stressing over this very moment for nothing. You wanted to give him something thoughtful and memorable.Â
Anticipation made your heart sound like thunder. You fidgeted, twiddling your thumbs as Jaehyun slowly opened the box, retrieving a guitar strap alongside a couple of other items. The awe that tensed Jaehyunâs features was authentic and your heart was taut with giddiness when his lips tugged into a beaming smile.Â
A few words scribbled onto the guitar strap caught Jaehyunâs attention and he unhesitatingly pulled them closer to his face to get a better look. It was like a little note, but words only you would say. Play me till the end.Â
âWow,â Jaehyun whispered, feeling a thumping inside of his ribcage. âYou⊠I literally mentioned that I wanted one of these in passing.â
âWhen you talk, I listen.â
Jaehyunâs eyes met yours. âThank you.â
âYouâre welcome,â you murmured, straddling his lap and tossing your arms around his neck. âHappy birthday, baby.â
Jaehyun set his hands at your hips and kissed you restlessly, restraint taking the backseat as he absorbed every bit of your warmth and used it to fuel his fire. Your lips took him to the other side but your hands kept him grounded.Â
Things felt different now. Kissing Jaehyun had never not been spellbinding, but right now? The feeling in your chest was indescribably hot.Â
But it was dangerous and terrifying. It defied everything you told yourself to be true, and every principle you had laid out. This was deeper than building a relationship with the enemy. It was the intimacy that accompanied trusting another guy with your heart, and fighting the unshakable doubts.Â
You had built something of a friendship with Jaehyun. Friends that occasionally kissed and felt each other up and had hooked up more than once.Â
But what if you wanted more? What if you were really two star-crossed lovers that couldnât have each other? What if?
Jaehyun wondered if your feelings had gotten as tense as his were. Months ago, he was telling himself not to get too close to you because of who your brother was and your clear lack of romantic intentions, but no amount of walls he put up couldâve prevented his feelings from getting this deep.Â
You wouldnât tell him even if they had. What good would it have done for him to know that you loved him, but you couldnât have him?Â
When Jaehyun pulled back, he stared into your eyes, not at your lips. âLetâs go make hot cocoa,â he said after a pause.
You blinked in surprise, but Jaehyun was already tugging you along before you could even think.Â
The time in the kitchen together was a beautiful mess. You liked randomly bursting out into song and Jaehyun liked dancing, which ultimately turned into him tenderly cradling you there in his arms and mumbling into your ear, the hot cocoa all but forgotten.Â
You especially liked the toasty smell of a hot, creamy mug of hot chocolate. It was very Jaehyun-like. The winter seasons in general were reminiscent of his personality, not because he was cold (like some people assumed), but the sheer opposite.Â
Jaehyun was the warmest guy that you had ever met, in a way. Anyone who said otherwise didnât have the privilege of knowing him, but you? You liked to think that you had him all figured out.
Maybe there was a chance you did to an extent. Getting to know him over the course of these long months had definitely shifted your previous perspective. Jaehyun kept to himself because he was afraid of his vulnerability being used as a weapon, but when you broke those stubborn barriers, you saw that Jaehyun was just a guy that wanted a home.Â
He had one, metaphorically speaking, but no one to share it between. That was why you used to think he was shy, and why others thought he was cold. Jaehyun wanted to protect the home heâd built for himself and was reluctant to let others in, because he wanted it to be sturdy for the ones he would let stay. Â
A hopeless romantic to his core.Â
After making sure the kitchen was tidy, Jaehyun led you away to the infamous white couch that stretched along his living room wall. Your favorite spot in the whole house. Aside from his bedroom, of course.
Jaehyun, on the other hand, couldnât decide. Half of it was littered in a slew of memories of you and his whole bedroom smelled more like you than it did himself now. Picking a favorite would be an impossible choice.Â
There was a lull of silence as the two of you sipped from your mugs, but it wasnât an issue. The silence was always comfortable with Jaehyun, as well as literally everything else about him.Â
Though you didnât notice, the weird thing now was that Jaehyun was less secure. He didnât make it obvious, but he was remarkably nervous. Jaehyun tried to cloak his nerves when he said, âI kind of got you something, too.â
Your eyes went wide with shock. âYou got me something⊠for your birthday?â
âI mean, yeah. Itâs also Valentineâs day and youâre⊠important to me,â Jaehyun confessed softly, a tiny smile breaking out onto his lips.Â
âI am?â
âYou are,â he whispered, hurriedly reaching into his pockets for something. Imagine your surprise when he dropped a USB drive into the palm of your hand. âStick it into your computer when you get home.â
You nodded obediently, sitting it on the coffee table so that it wouldnât be crushed in your jeans, but your innate curiosity was never satisfied and you asked, âWhatâs on it?â
âA surprise,â was all Jaehhyun said.Â
You hummed. If Jaehyun didnât want to tell you, you knew it would be pointless to press.Â
But you would be lying if you said that it wasnât killing you.Â
Jaehyun knew that. He knew you were a curious individual, because he was drawn to your insatiable need to know. But he didnât want to be there to see your reaction. Just looking at you made his chest taut and rejectionâs brutal fangs still ripped him to shreds.Â
At least you couldnât tell by looking at him. Jaehyun had made sure of that. âTalk to me,â he said, squeezing your hand.Â
You smiled, because his hands were warm from the hot cocoa. âAbout what?â
âTell me more about yourself. Itâs been months, but I feel like thereâs still more to know about you. Talk to me about what you love. Your hopes and dreams.â
A little sigh left you. âWhere do I even begin?â That was what you said, but youâd already continued without affording yourself any time to pause. âI want to be an orthopedic surgeon. Iâm obsessed with anatomy and how our bodies function. Thatâs why Iâve been busting my ass for grad school.â
That much was obvious. Anybody that saw you on the party scene mightâve assumed you were merely another hopeless college student who only knew hooking up and getting shit-faced drunk, but Jaehyunâs first time seeing you was in the back of a library with a laptop and a heap of textbooks.Â
You were a hard-worker and no hangover stood a chance between you and your goals. But you were also just a normal girl who wanted to let loose sometimes. It was the perfect balance.Â
Jaehyun was a keen listener. âThat sounds tough.â
You fought a groan. âGod, yes. But itâs so worth it. Itâs my senior year and Iâve been waiting my whole life for med school.â
âYouâve wanted to be a surgeon for that long?â
âIâve always known who I wanted to be,â you exhaled contentedly. And for that you were endlessly grateful. âWhat about you?â
Jaehyun shook his head. âNo. Not always. First, I guess I had to leave home and do the whole âfinding yourselfâ thing.â
âThereâs nothing wrong with that. Itâs rare that people are born with an innate sense of who they are. We deserve to live life through trial and error. Thatâs freedom,â you said.
Jaehyun wholeheartedly agreed. Leaving home to explore his identity mightâve been the toughest decision he ever made, but also the best one. âWhat about love?â
âWhat about it?â
âDid you ever dream of that, too?â
You shouldâve figured he would go there. It was the essential question. The world of trauma beyond your control. âI used to,â you admitted, somber. âI just havenât had a ton of faith in it lately. Thatâs what happens when you grow up, I think. You realize lifeâs not like the movies.â
Funny how I call you a hopeless romantic when hopeless romantics are anything but hopeless. In spite of the pain and the betrayal, they refuse to accept that they might die alone one day. If anything, Iâm the hopeless one. Iâve fallen in love with the one boy I could never make mine.Â
Jaehyun frowned for a split second, but recovered quickly. âYeah, I know.â
You wondered who had hurt him, but chose not to ask. If he wanted to tell you, then he already wouldâve.Â
âYou didnât ask me,â Jaehyun started.Â
You glanced up at him.Â
âAbout my pain,â he continued shortly. âAbout her.â
âI didnât think you were ready.â
âDo you want to know?â
âI mean, yeah. Of course, I want to know who hurt you and how that made you who you are. I want to understand you. But only as much as you want me to,â you told him. The truth was that as curious as you were, you were afraid of overstepping. The same way that Jaehyun was terrified of oversharing.Â
He replied with total certainty, âI want you to know.â
You swallowed, feeling a lump form in your throat and unsure why. It was his deep, dark secrets being revealed, not yours. Plus you were positive there wasnât a single person in the county who didnât know your history with your one and only ex. âOkay. Take your time.â
Jaehyun heaved a shaky breath, preparing himself to share something that heâd never specifically told anyone. âBack home in Seoul, I dated a girl. I was naive and I thought she was the one. But she wasnât. She only wanted a guy handsome enough to impress her parents.â
You maintained eye contact to let Jaehyun know you were listening.Â
Jaehyun continued, âI guess we had different desires in life. She wanted a boy to show off and I wanted a girl who was my best friend at the foundation. We only talked about surface things. I couldnât be myself around her.â
You nodded. That sounded like the Jaehyun you knew.Â
âThen, I found out she was cheating on me,â Jaehyun added calmly, but he still recalled the trembles of anger that wrecked through his body. âAnd I left her then and there. I dipped. I mightâve been a naive idiot, but I knew my worth. She was my first and my last.â
You were shocked. That you shared the same pain - an unfaithful partner - and that Jaehyun hadnât had nearly as many other partners as you thought he wouldâve. âYouâve only dated once?â
âFor me, once was enough to figure out what I wanted in a relationship, and it wasnât a girl who I could barely trust or be myself with,â Jaehyun said. âI talked to other girls, but like I said before, nothing lasted, and Iâve obviously hooked up.â
Ironically, Iâve been hurt more by girls I never had than a girl that was supposed to belong to me.Â
âI harbored resentment for a long time, but what lasted longer was the leftover fear of trusting someone again. I only let people see what I want them to see. And because of that, Iâm a little lonely sometimes, but itâs okay.â
âDoes it get sad?â you asked quietly.Â
Jaehyun shrugged his shoulders. âMaybe, but itâs better than being heartbroken. Anyways, Iâve gotten better about inviting people into my life and having good judgment. Time makes it easier.â
You make it easier, was what he meant, but Jaehyun wasnât that bold yet. He might have been the one to approach you and attempt to initiate this private affair, but you sticking around was the last thing he expected. And that opened the door for the possibility that relationships didnât have expiration dates.Â
Reading between the lines, you were hoping that somewhere along them he wasnât hinting about a potential future with you. Jaehyunâs head was in the clouds, but you were grounded below the surface. Because you had already resigned yourself to the fact that you didnât have a future together.
But of course, that never stopped you from letting him undress you.Â
You were hyper aware of Jaehyunâs eyes staring into yours and it was beginning to unnerve you a little. âIs there hot cocoa on my face?â
Jaehyun shook his head with a cute laugh and finally leaned into you for a kiss, obviously done speaking and prepared to show. You let him take you down onto the couch, laid defenseless beneath him, on the edge of surrender.Â
You giggled into his lips, pleased at how silly it was that he tasted like the hot drink youâd shared. Your hands were wound through his hair and tugging him closer to you, wanting to be inseparable. You wouldnât be sated till his soul was tied to yours.Â
When it came to your body, you were more than inclined to let Jaehyun dominate you. But your heart was more than you had bargained for.Â
Jaehyun yanked at the waistband of your sweatpants and you swore you could sense your heart swelling with the exhilaration of getting laid by the only guy you wanted. You raised your hips, letting him take them and your underwear from underneath you.Â
You gasped loudly when his fingers ghosted along the insides of your thighs and unhurriedly traveled to your core, which was throbbing at the barest of touches. Jaehyun made you ache. Your body neglected every thought that didnât concern him when it longed for him to use it until you were sore.Â
Jaehyun sucked a slick pair of fingers into his mouth fleetingly before inserting them inside your pussy, making you verbally respond to the contact with a soft whimper, and stole the sound right from your lips with a hot wet kiss. You only tightened around his digits when he pressed his lips to you and it made his head spin quicker than ever.Â
You pulled back and panted, âSo, you wonât let me sleep on the couch, but youâll fuck me on it?â
âItâs seen worse days,â Jaehyun said, muting the sound of his own chuckle when he pressed his mouth to your neck.Â
You were torn between a laugh and a moan and the final sound was a breathy whimper of Jaehyunâs name. His mouth felt too good on your neck and you couldnât forget his hands between your parted legs. Gentleman in the streets, but a beast in the sheets.Â
Jaehyun was touching you impatiently. Your exhales were loud and jagged when he pulled back from your stained throat, and Jaehyun couldnât help but imagine the noises you would make when he was finally seated deeply inside of your pussy that was clenching around his long slender digits.Â
Deciding you were wet enough to take his cock, Jaehyun recouped his hand from between your thighs and asked, âYou ready for me, baby?â
âMore than,â you whispered, disgruntled with the emptiness but consoled by the knowledge that you would be full of him momentarily.Â
Jaehyun stepped out of his clothes without hesitation and got a hold of your naked legs, dragging you toward him and leaving no room for empty space. The two of you locked eyes when he finally started to penetrate you and he looked at you with need. But you glanced away. You couldnât stare into his soul as he captured yours. You couldnât do it.Â
You moaned when he pushed the head of his cock through your entrance and again when it went as deeply as it could enter. The stretch was so mad, but so good. You never knew how closely the pain could be interlocked to pleasure before Jaehyun took you for a spin on his big cock.
Jaehyun pulled out with a disgruntled groan, stealing the pleasure before you could really soak in the sensation.Â
You winced your eyes open and asked confusedly, âWhy did you do that?â
âI forgot a condom,â Jaehyun admitted bashfully, a timid little glint in his stare.Â
âGee, you sure chose a fantastic time to remember,â you deadpanned.Â
Jaehyun looked like he was a little ashamed and it amused the hell out of you. In the heat of your vice-like cunt, heâd lost track of all thoughts other than getting his cock inside.Â
You gawked when he stood and you caught an eyeful of his cute butt when he turned for the stairs. âWhere are you going?â
Like it was the most obvious thing in the whole world, Jaehyun replied nonchalantly, âTo get a condom.â
âSit your cute ass down,â you told him a bit too assertively. âYou can have me raw.âÂ
Jaehyun looked like his brain short-circuited. âFor real?â
You nodded. âYes, for real, you dummy. Just pull out.â
Jaehyun combed his fingers through his hair and groaned, âThatâs one hell of a responsibility, woman.â
You purred teasingly, âAre you scared you wonât be able to do it, or are you scared that youâll bust too fast?â
Jaehyunâs eyes fell to your gorgeous, spread legs, thickly swallowing the lump in his throat at the mouth-watering sight of you laid bare and exposed as you waited for him to take you. Fuck. Maybe both.
You snickered to yourself. Unbeknownst to Jaehyun, you were on birth control. And you had no intention of telling him right now. You wanted to gauge his restraint.Â
Jaehyun didnât reply, but he did return to the couch to slip between your folds again, and that was even better. Your pussy throbbed tirelessly, missing the way his thick cock stretched you out, and it drew deep grunts from the very back edge of Jaehyunâs throat.Â
You could feel every inch of him pressed deep inside your pulsing walls, flush against you. All of him. There was literally nothing to separate the two of you, exactly as you had wanted, only the heat and tightness of your cunt suffocating his cock relentlessly.Â
Jaehyun loved how you took him like a fucking champ. You sucked his cock back in like you needed it, like you needed him just as badly as he needed you. Your eyes winced closed and your lips parted as you sang his name in a shrill whimper.Â
You were rapt with ecstasy at his long, deep thrusts that took you to the moon. The pain and guilty thoughts disappeared into his slow yet steady rhythm, as if Jaehyun wanted to make sure you could feel every bit of himself that he had to offer.Â
Like he was making love to you.
âYouâre so beautiful. Iâm in love with your body,â Jaehyun whispered gently into your ear, hooked on you.
You moaned, oblivious to the fact that he really meant he was in love with you. When your naked bodies were bursting with heat and satisfaction, meeting each other in a wet collision, all else ceased to matter.Â
Jaehyun kissed you again. You swore he stole the pulse right from your chest in that very moment, your heart open to him. His hands were everywhere, tenderly cupping your breasts and thumbing your stiff nipples. This was pleasure. This was elysian. This was all yours.
You were breathless when the two of you separated and the minutes of your lips tangled together felt like mere seconds. God, Jaehyun made you insatiable. As you did to him. The two of you couldnât get enough, not of the sex and not of each other. It was lethally dangerous to want something as badly as you both wanted one another.Â
But you knew that when you laid eyes on him, when you indulged him. You knew that he was endless trouble and yet you crept into his arms anyway like a moth to the flame.Â
âGod, fuck,â you rasped, throat hoarse from how you were screeching his name. âYou make me feel so good.â
Jaehyun was so gentle and affectionate with you, tickling kisses down every bit of your soft skin his lips could access. It was times like these, when he completed you perfectly, where you welcomed the thought that you were made for each other. And only for each other.Â
Your mouth was dry, open with every halfway cry of Jaehyunâs name that you could manage. Your skin was damp and sticky with moisture, a thin layer of sweat keeping his skin adhering to yours. Of course, there was a similar glistening sheen dripping down Jaehyun, beading at his forehead and neck.Â
It made you lick your chapped lips. This man was abundantly mouth-watering. You wanted to give him anything he wanted and in this sex-induced haze, you knew that you would have.Â
Jaehyun noticed your eyes fixated on literally anywhere but his face and it made him chuckle smugly. He craned his head downwards to nibble beneath your ear and groan praises about how perfect and tight you were around his cock.Â
You tangled your hands in his hair again, desperate to ground yourself, before sitting them at his handsome broad shoulders. He had no business being this good at touching and fucking you. You were downright ashamed of the noises that left your lips but made no attempts to block the pleasure causing them to slip into the dense air.Â
âLike that. Fuck, Iâm gonna cum, Jay,â you whimpered, squeezing his shoulders.Â
The thought of you releasing around his bare cock made a shudder shoot through Jaehyun and he almost couldnât take it. You sensed his pace getting a little rougher, as if he was out to get you. Out to finish you. âLook at me,â he growled.Â
You did. You didnât have any other options. Not when it was him bleeding you dry, making your body dependent on his touches.
Looking into his dark eyes, everything stopped. The whole world was set on pause. You almost couldnât breathe. This was how it felt to fall with no anchor.
âI want you to cum on my cock,â Jaehyun said lowly, rutting into you at a dangerous pace.Â
You nodded. You were completely submissive to his desires.
There was a throbbing pressure in your gut that only got harsher with every wet smack of Jaehyunâs hips into yours. You wound your legs around his waist and pulled him into you, wanting to fuse together your limbs.Â
Your body felt as if it were on fire. The sweat cooling down your neck, the lack of oxygen in the air. The breaths Jaehyun snatched plain from your lips. It was more than enough to take you out.Â
Jaehyun watched as your orgasm finally seized you in its open arms, taking you by surprise. Your abs tensed viciously and you arched into Jaehyun with pleasure, sensing your eyes roll to the very back of your head and your toes curl into taut knots.Â
You were still sensitive from your climax but Jaehyunâs pace was absolutely unforgiving, rutting into you mercilessly through your release. The tightness of your pussy drew a thick groan out of his mouth, but he still wasnât done with you yet. And you were very keen on letting him use your body until he finished.Â
Jaehyun relented when you finally started to calm down after coming undone, kissing your cheeks and the corner of your lips as you went almost entirely slack. The only motion in you was the aggressive heave of your chest as you panted for breath.Â
You let Jaehyun thrust in and out of you, fighting the overstimulation for his sake. You were content to feel him brushing against your slick walls and hear those breathy grunts.Â
Smoothing your hands up and down his burly arms, you whispered, âJay, baby, keep going. I donât care how long it takes. Fuck me until youâre done.â
Jaehyun bit his lip to veil a pathetic moan at those words. After he took care of your needs, you were letting him ply you for his own pleasure. You were his vice, his ruining. Your fingers grazed across his back, gathering the droplets of moisture that were beading at the surface.Â
You could feel how hot his skin was, burning up in the heat of you.Â
Abruptly, Jaehyun pulled out of you and tore you upright, holding his desperate cock in the palm of his hand as he groaned, âGet on your knees.âÂ
You obeyed without hesitation, meek. Crawling onto the carpet floor, you took him in your palms and stroked his thick girthy cock gingerly, careful not to be too rough. He was victimless in your warm hands, needy and at your mercy, leaving you with total control.Â
Then it was game over for Jaehyun when you finally took him between your soft lips, gently easing him to the back of your throat. God, it was a struggle to fit his big cock completely into your mouth, but you somehow managed. You kept your cheeks hollowed, opening them for him to thrust.Â
âFuck,â Jaehyun moaned, head thrown back and eyes winced closed. You knew exactly what needed to be done to finish him off.Â
You liked playing with his cock, obviously, but you loved having it in your mouth way more. There was nothing like driving Jaehyun to the cusp of insanity, teasing him with your tongue and hot mouth, plucking those beautiful sounds out of his lips. He lost himself whenever he was inside your throat.Â
Jaehyun was in total bliss. Your mouth was no less impressive than your sheathlike cunt for all he knew, your lips wrapping around his stiff cock feverishly without a doubt in your mind that you could make him lose his own, and he almost didnât want to orgasm yet. He only knew you, and what you did to him. And he was too greedy to want it to end.Â
You had this boy all to yourself, wrapped tightly around your fingers with nowhere to hide. And you didnât have the slightest clue what to do with him, or yourself.Â
Aside from pleasuring each other in bed, or on the couch in this case. You were exceptionally gifted at getting him off.
Jaehyun could feel himself approaching the threshold of release and he did everything in his power to fight it off, to keep it at bay, but it was basically useless. He couldnât even help but fuck your mouth. You were working him too good and he was coming whether he liked it or not.Â
You were impressed that he had even lasted this long. Normally, when you let a guy hit it raw, they could barely resist emptying their load into you at the peak of climax.Â
Jaehyun ultimately couldnât control himself anymore and his jaw slacked with a deep, lethal groan as his hips came to a total standstill, painting the back of your throat with a streak of cum. Fuck, it was the sexiest noise youâd ever heard, and it aroused a throbbing between your legs.Â
You managed to gulp him down and it was the hottest thing Jaehyun had ever seen watching you swallow his cum like that. He pulled back, a misty gleam in his dark soulless eyes as he collapsed onto the couch, breathless. There was a layer of dew at your lashes and you dabbed at your eyes to wipe them clear.Â
Jaehyun looked like heâd just had the ground ripped from underneath him. âYou just blew my mind,â he said through jagged breaths.Â
You didnât miss a beat. âI just blew you.â
Jaehyun laughed, shaking the hair out of his face.Â
After both of you found your clothes and redressed yourselves, you decided to mention slyly, âBy the way, Iâm on birth control.â
Jaehyunâs mouth gaped open. âAre you serious? I was scared you might get pregnant.â
âThat didnât stop you from fucking me though, now did it?â you replied, crossing your arms.Â
âI wasnât that scared.â
You snickered. This idiot was a man you wanted to protect with your life, but you knew that you lacked the arsenal. âBesides, at least our baby wouldâve had the worldâs finest father.â
âAnd the worldâs finest mother. They wouldâve been beautiful,â Jaehyun flirted.Â
Your cheeks flushed with heat at the compliment and his obvious flirtatious behavior. âI meant that you wouldâve been a good dad, but sure. That works too.â
Jaehyunâs eyes flickered in shock. âWhy do you think that?â
You shrugged, not thinking too hard about it. You didnât need to when the answer was right at the tip of your tongue. âBecause love itself is your passion. Youâre selfless, patient. Protective. And you fight for what you love.â
Jaehyun said nothing. He was mulling over your confession, suspiciously quiet the whole time, but you were so tired that you hardly noticed. Your body was spent and you wanted to go upstairs and climb into his bed.Â
You stretched your arms over your head and stood to collect the cocoa-stained dishes in your arms. Jaehyun blinked at the action, and wouldâve stopped you to do it himself, but you were already halfway to the kitchen by the time he noticed.Â
Jaehyun walked over and pressed himself behind you, draping his arms around your hips and resting his chin on your shoulder. You giggled, enamored with how it felt to be skin-to-skin with him, and when you finished with the two mugs, he reached over your head to set them down in the cabinets.Â
You dragged Jaehyun upstairs by his arm to his own bedroom and slipped beneath his silk sheets, but invited him to drape himself above you and rest his head on your chest like you were his fluffy pillow and he was the thick, cozy blankets.Â
It was comfortable that way. You liked Jaehyunâs weight on you, so close to you, crushed beneath the pressure. His arms would tangle around you and leave you little room to escape. But you wouldnât want to leave.Â
That was how you woke up sometimes. You used to be afraid that youâd accidentally rouse him and disturb his beauty slumber, but Jaehyun always slept like a ton of bricks. This boy could probably sleep through a hurricane and wake up wondering what happened to his roof.Â
You sighed, whisking your fingers through his dark hair and staring at his face. You expected his eyes to be closed when you looked at him, but they were watching you. The ache in your chest was unignorable, unbearable.Â
Those long nights and shorter mornings with Jaehyun were all you had, but you wanted something of permanence and you were finally admitting it to yourself. You knew these moments couldnât last forever and didnât attempt to deny it, but you were hoping and wishing.Â
Smoothing your thumb down Jaehyunâs cheek, you felt a piece of your heart crumble. I canât have you and I donât even know why.Â
âJay?â you whispered.Â
âHm?â
You hesitated, brimming with reluctance. A few months ago, you wouldâve thought it wasnât your place to ask, but dammit Johnny was your brother and Jaehyun⊠meant something to you. This was officially your business. âWhy does my brother hate you?â you asked.Â
Jaehyun sat up abruptly, surprised. You matched the shock in his eyes, startled by his sudden movements. âYou donât know?â
You shook your head. âNo. Johnny never told me. I assumed he would when he was ready, but itâs killing me and I need to know.â Because I canât make sense of why we canât be together, but ironically, it makes it easier to justify being here with you right now.
Jaehyun ran his fingers through his hair, looking particularly perturbed. No wonder it was so easy for you to climb into bed with him. Night after night, weekend after weekend.Â
You were almost afraid to ask, âIs this going to change my perspective on you?â
âIt shouldnât if you believe me,â Jaehyun said, but the truth was that he wasnât too confident that youâd take his side.Â
You peered up at him expectantly, resting your hand on his back while he sat beside you. You were partly terrified to know the truth, watching him nervously, but god, you were exhausted of being kept in the dark.Â
Jaehyun exhaled deeply. He didnât want to lose you, not before he truly had you, but he knew what he was, and more importantly, he knew what he wasnât. âYou knew Mike, right?â
You bobbed your head, lips parting in surprise at the mention of Johnnyâs friend, but let him continue.Â
Jaehyun explained, âIâm sure you know, but he was addicted to drugs and it was fucking up his whole life. I tried to help him get clean before he fucked around and killed himself. And he was, I think. Thatâs what he said.â
You recognized this story. Johnny had said something similar, but it was about his own efforts. You somehow never realized that Jaehyun and Mike were friends. âBut?â
âBut then he wasnât clean anymore,â Jaehyun said in the tiniest voice ever. âLast year, at one of Xiaojunâs parties. It came out of nowhere. He overdosed on fent and coke.â
You knew that too. And you hated that Mike was gone so soon, taken by a poison he couldnât stop once heâd gotten his hands on it. It was heartbreaking.Â
âThen some people started to say that I did it, that I gave him the drugs. And I was at the party only a room away when he ODâd, but I swear to god it wasnât me. But they ran with it anyway.â
You frowned, pausing your handsâ consolations at his back in shock. It was starting to add up now, why Johnny hated Jaehyun. Because he thought he was complicit in the death of one of his closest friends.Â
That was when he started to become a tad too overprotective of you and it didnât take a genius to piece together why, but you never knew it was the reason he loathed Jaehyun and didnât want you anywhere near him. There were so many nights where you went to parties at Jaehyunâs house and Johnny would ask if youâd done any drugs.Â
Because of Jaehyun.Â
âGod, to this day, I want to punch the bastard that gave Mike that stuff. And if I knew who he was, Iâd kick his ass. So, I can understand why Johnny wants to kick mine. But it wasnât me,â Jaehyun said, sounding broken.Â
You blinked, taking it all in silently. You were at a crossroads.Â
Though he was hesitant, Jaehyun glanced into your eyes, unsure of what your silence meant. It was killing him. âPlease tell me you believe me.â
âI believe you,â you said, because you did. You had no reason to doubt Jaehyun. Plus you hadnât known him to press his luck with anything other than weed in the time that youâd known each other.Â
âThank god,â Jaehyun sighed in relief. âDoes this change things between us?â
You shook your head. âNo. I thought you were a good guy before and I still think youâre a good guy now. Nothing is new.â
âThank you.â
âFor what?â
Jaehyun rested his head on your shoulder and mumbled with obvious melancholy, âTrusting me.â
You laced your fingers through Jaehyunâs, squeezing his hand. âIâll always trust you.â
That warmed Jaehyunâs heart and he sat there wondering what he had done to deserve you. It felt like there was a burden lifted from his shoulders.Â
The day went on, bleeding into night. You expected Jaehyun to want to go somewhere to celebrate his birthday, but he reassured you that he was more than content to spend it indoors with you.
Still, it made you a little sad and you tried your best to cloak your gloomy emotions with your affections. You didnât want Jaehyun to know, but you were thinking about how nice it wouldâve been to do something as simple as go out together.Â
Reasonably, you were shocked when Jaehyun said, âI want to try out this Japanese restaurant with you next weekend.â
You blinked. âYou want to go out⊠with me?â you asked, making sure you werenât mistaken.Â
Jaehyun nodded, enthusiastic. âIs that a bad idea?â
âWhat if we get caught together?â
Jaehyun shrugged. âThatâs a risk Iâm willing to take.â
âOf course it is. You donât have anything to lose,â you said, but your tone was humorous.
Jaehyun replied without hesitation, âI have you to lose.â
You were sold. Those five words were all you needed to hear.
There was a ginormous beaming smile on your face when you both finally decided to call it a night and you fell asleep with a certain soreness in your cheeks.Â
Jaehyun stayed up a little later than you had. Not on purpose, but it was impossible to rest his eyes when he was distracted by your sleep patterns. Your soft snores and the way your hand curled over his stomach.Â
It was the sheer opposite of annoying. It was intoxicating.Â
He was the one clinging to you when you roused from bed after sunrise. You felt bad for slipping away like a thief in the night, but in your defense, it was daytime and you had to be in your professorâs classroom for attendance.Â
After washing up and tossing on a spare outfit you had in Jaehyunâs room for events like these, you scribbled an apologetic note that he would surely find on his nightstand and quietly crept downstairs with a sadness weighing on you now that you had to leave.Â
And surely enough, Jaehyun woke up to the note and smiled like a dumbass when he rubbed his eyes and read it to himself.Â
Good morning, sleeping handsome. Iâm gonna miss you today, but I have an early afternoon class that I have to pass to graduate. You sleep like deadweight, by the way. I had to fight out of your arms and you didnât notice. See you next weekend. Call me.Â
Jaehyun crawled out of bed and headed to the bathroom for a shower, but he could tell that youâd obviously already taken one with a single simple glance, and he was wishing you had invited him to join you.Â
Now he sounded like a guy. Which was fair, because he was one.Â
You raced home after class ended. Though you had more than enough exams that it wouldâve been a good idea to study for, the main thing on your mind was plugging in the flash drive Jaehyun had gifted you, because you still were dying to know what was on it.Â
It was safe to say that a song was the last thing you were expecting.Â
You froze on your bed, unsure of how to feel. Everything hit you hard. The wistful yet romantic lyrics, the softness of his voice. Jaehyun was pouring his heart out to you, opening up to you about his feelings the best way he knew how.Â
There was a ripple of emotions bursting through you. The lyrics were a little too sentimental for you to attempt to convince yourself that this wasnât Jaehyunâs idea of a love confession. Maybe youâd known all along, but you didnât want to accept it, because you knew that it wasnât written in the stars.Â
Now you had no choice.Â
You sat there and cried. God, it was a beautiful song and that only made the tears drip even harder. You were bemused and overwhelmed. Bemused that he had obviously taken a lot of time out of his busy life to sit there and record a song for you, and overwhelmed by everything else.Â
Jaehyun loves me. Jaehyun really loves me, you thought, admitting it to yourself. And it scared you to death, because you loved him too.Â
Then the day came for you to hang out at the restaurant. It was the first time you and Jaehyun actually spent time together outside of his house. The meetup on the bridge and the incident at Jenoâs house didnât count. Those were merely instances youâd happened to cross paths.Â
When Jaehyun came up behind you in a back hug while you were waiting for him (you were embarrassingly early), you didnât jolt or startle, relaxing into his touch without sparing him a glance first. Nobody else would be wearing his sexy ass cologne.Â
You didnât mention the song or acknowledge the obvious romantic tension between you at all, much to Jaehyunâs disappointment. But he knew you definitely took the flash drive back home. It wasnât on the coffee table when he went downstairs, meaning you had grabbed it on your way out.  Â
He couldnât help but wonder if you had listened to it and vividly pictured your reaction, but Jaehyun knew it would be pointless obsessing over the thought if he wasnât going to ask.Â
The truth was that you were conflicted. Your heart wanted Jaehyun, but you were rational and knew it was ridiculous. There was no point in setting yourselves up for more useless heartbreak.Â
But you had fun with Jaehyun in that restaurant. You didnât want to admit it, but it was the closest thing to a date you would ever have with him. You talked and held hands underneath the table like the pair of lovers you hoped you were in another life.Â
Your insatiable lovesick heart was aching for more. And the worst part was that Jaehyun was oftentimes right there in your arms but had never felt further.Â
It wasnât until you were unfortunately back home and walking through the front door that you read aloud the text youâd received from Johnny. We need to talk. Iâll be home in an hour. âWell, that cannot be good,â you mumbled to yourself.Â
âIt isnât.â
You jolted in alarm. You didnât know Johnny was home, though it had most definitely been well over an hour. Jaehyun was too interesting for you to even think about touching your phone once.Â
Given the familiar less than content glare on Johnnyâs face, you fought a groan, wondering what you couldâve possibly done now when youâd been on your best behavior lately. You lilted in the usual tone you used when you wanted to get out of trouble, âHi, my handsome big brother that I love dearly.â
Johnny, obviously not in the mood, snapped, âTaeyong saw you with Jaehyun today. You wanna explain that to me?â
That was the last thing you expected him to say and the shock was plain on your face. âWhat?â
Johnny shook his head, unsurprised that you were acting clueless, and though he was furious he tried not to raise his voice. âDonât play dumb. Are you dating him - fucking him?â
âIâm not dating him, weâre justâŠ,â you trailed in frustration, realizing that youâd been caught. âShit, yeah. Iâve fucked him and weâre hanging out.â
Johnny blew out a long, exasperated sigh. âI canât believe this. God, my own sister.â
Tears threatened. At this point, you were desperate. Your whole world was crashing down without warning. You wished you wouldâve at least seen the text and braced yourself. âJohnny, please. If you gave him a chance, I think you two would really like each other!â
âI could never like him,â Johnny replied viciously, face tensing in fury as if the suggestion was an affront to his entire existence. Â
You approached Johnny, somehow mustering the courage to come near him. âPlease listen to me, alright? He didnât do it, Johnny. It wasnât him!â
Johnny gawked. He couldnât believe you were defending Jaehyun and took a gigantic step back, wanting to be nowhere near you. He hissed, âOf course thatâs what the bastard told you. Did he give you proof?â
Frantic, you shook your head, and it came to you that you only had trust to back Jaehyunâs claims. âNo, but...â
Johnny grabbed his keys and interjected, âStop. Just stop. I donât even want to see your face right now.â
Your lips were agape when Johnny stormed towards the garage, full of purebred rage and disappointment.Â
After a few minutes, the shock started to dull away and you temporarily regained the ability to function, racing upstairs to your bedroom to be inert. You hated the brutal sting splitting you in half. While your thoughts were on pause and you were consumed by emptiness, it was the one thing keeping you from dissociating.Â
Sitting there on your bed, knees pressed to your chest and your arms curled around yourself, you couldnât even cry. It would come, but right now you were trying to process the pain. And in the meantime, you realized what needed to be done.
Two long days later, you were meeting Jaehyun at the bridge one final time. It took nearly forty-eight hours of gathering the courage to pick up your phone, but you had to let him know it was over. That this was goodbye.Â
You ran your fingers across the wooden overlook, taking in nature, but even the peaceful noise of your surroundings failed to soothe your heartbreak.Â
The sound of tentative footsteps barely drew you from your own head, and you didnât want to face your visitor. You knew it was Jaehyun. For more reasons than one.Â
Though you couldnât see, Jaehyun had his hands in his pockets. âAm I late?â
âNo, youâre perfectly on time. I got here early. I needed time to think,â you replied with a fleeting glance at your watch.Â
Jaehyun watched you with unease, a perturbed thud in his heart making it challenging to breathe. This was bad, he knew, and for whatever reason, that fear that he was doomed was unshakable. âWhat happened?â
âJohnny knows,â you began, finally whipping around. It was the least you could do, knowing you had to break his heart. âTaeyong saw us together. He snitched. Now Johnny wants nothing to do with me.â
Jaehyunâs heart sank. No wonder you hadnât texted or called him in two days. Aside from inviting him here, that is. âWhat now?â
âI canât see you anymore. Johnny already hates me now. If I keep seeing you behind his back, I wonât have a brother anymore. I canât live with that guilt. Thatâs why Iâve been running from it for months,â you said quietly.Â
Jaehyun stiffened, like a boulder. âWeâre giving up? Thatâs insane! Donât let him stop us from being together.â
You recoiled, surprised. âAre you asking me to choose you over my brother?â
âNo, of course not,â Jaehyun sighed, combing his hands through his hands as he searched for the right words.Â
You desperately wanted to reach out to him, to touch him, but you couldnât bring yourself to move. âYou should be with someone who can treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Someone you can hold and kiss outside without any worries. I canât give you that, Jaehyun.â
Jaehyun shook his head. âNone of that matters to me. I want to be with you. I donât care what compromises I have to make.â
âWell, I do,â you whispered sullenly, reminding yourself of everything you had to lose. âIt was never going to work. You had to know this. We arenât Shakespeare characters. Hell, even they donât get to be happy!â
Jaehyunâs chest was taut with pain. It was usually him that had to tell people the brutal reality of unfortunate situations. And this was how it felt to be on the other side?
Fighting the oncoming threat of tears, you continued, âIâve enjoyed these past months with you and weâve made special, unforgettable memories together. But enough is enough. We were gonna have to face the truth one day, and that day is today. It was inevitable. I hope that somehow we can still be friends.â
Jaehyun spat, âI donât want to be just friends. I canât be just friends with you. Why donât you understand that?â
Oh, you did. You really, really did. This was hurting you in ways unimaginable and nothing couldâve prepared you for the moment where you had to set Jaehyun free.Â
Not even knowing this day would come.Â
âI love you,â Jaehyun confessed for the first time, taking some steps closer to you. The gleam in his eyes killed you.Â
Those words were like ice in your veins. Your heart stopped beating. For half a minute, the whole world ceased. You shook your head, sensing a vicious pain returning to you. âYou canât love me.â
Jaehyun switched on a dime and hissed, âYou canât tell me how to feel.â
Denial still crept through your blood. Apparently, it was one of your many talents. Jaehyunâs too. âYouâre in love with the idea of me. You just want somebody to love again and maybe I made you realize that, but you donât love me.â
Jaehyun was trembling. You were trying to diagnose him and he wouldnât stand for it. âSaying that doesnât make it true.â
You were defiant. You needed it to be true. There had to be some way to get him to let you go and move on. You didnât want to resort to cruel methods, but you would if you were rendered optionless.Â
Jaehyun continued, âYou did make me realize that I wanted love again. But I also realized that I could have it all in you.â
Finally pushed past your limits, you shattered and screamed, âGoddammit, Jaehyun - you canât have me!â
You turned away, hoping he would let you leave. You didnât want things to end on even worse terms than they already were.Â
But you shouldâve known Jaehyun would be relentless. He was a fighter. You were what he wanted, what he loved, and heâd damned if he surrendered without a fight. âSo, thatâs it? Youâre just going to walk away?âÂ
You rooted in place and exhaled loudly, bristling with frustration. âThe fuck do you want me to do, Jay? Itâs out of my hands.â
âTalk to Johnny - you know that I didnât do anything!â
âNo, I donât know anything,â you grumbled, crossing your arms tightly.Â
That stunned Jaehyun. You didnât trust him anymore?
Jaehyun laughed, but it was humorless. Needless to say, he was pissed. âWow. You gave up the fight before it started, before it was over. You never gave us a chance.â
You walked away. You didnât have the strength.Â
Jaehyun kept prodding. You were unbelievable and he couldnât stand you right now. âI bet this isnât just about Johnny. I bet him being your brother is just a cop-out so that you donât have to trust another guy again.â
Now that stung deep. He was hitting you where it hurt, making sure you understood how badly you had wounded him, and you realized there was a chance he was right and you hadnât even considered it. You whipped around, snapping, âFuck you. I wish I never met you.â
Jaehyun watched you disappear behind the thick branches, simmering where he stood. God, he resented the fuck out of you right now. You were accepting defeat, throwing in the towel, and he hated you because of it.Â
The seemingly endless months of ignorant bliss were washed down the drain all because you didnât want to be a little more optimistic. You couldâve had it all together, had you not resigned yourself to being unhappy. You were so hell-bent on being realistic that you closed the door on other possibilities.Â
Almost the second you burst through the front door, your tears fell after what felt like an eternity of fighting them back. Johnny and your parents turned to face you with alarm when you paraded through the living room, but you ignored your motherâs questions and made a beeline for your bed.Â
Johnny didnât ask. He already knew, and he was only somewhat satisfied that you had done what shouldâve never needed to happen in the first place.Â
The days of the week started to bleed into each other. You didnât talk to Jaehyun for obvious reasons. Johnny, the man whose shoulders you thought would always be there for you to lean on, was ironically giving you the cold shoulder. And Mark wouldnât understand even if you explained, though you knew he was available.Â
Never had you felt so alone. You had no one to escape to. No one who could comprehend or justify the moral dilemma you forced yourself into. Iâve truly outdone myself. Iâve betrayed my brother, baffled my best friend, and lost my lover back to back. That has to be a world record.Â
Seven days marked the longest time you had gone without speaking with Jaehyun since the onset of this private love affair. He didnât call or text you either, which was understandable. Plus it was what you wanted, or at least that was what you used to think.Â
You werenât sure anymore. Cutting him off was the whole purpose of meeting him, but why did it make you feel so isolated?
It wasnât that long ago that you did it because you thought it was the right choice, or maybe because you thought it would make things better. But it hadnât. Now that you had effectively shielded yourself from the universe, you were less free and more lonely.Â
And time continued to fly by, days of leaving the house only to attend class and coming back to your room only to collapse into sorrow.Â
Johnny felt bad. At night, there were a couple of times where he hovered near your door and heard you sobbing, but he was too petty and spiteful to knock or check up on you. You had stung him too.Â
The difference was that when Mike died, you did everything in your power to console Johnny. You gave him the space he needed, of course, but you opened the door for him to talk to you if he wanted and lent him a shoulder to cry on. You bought all his favorite snacks and encouraged him to go outside, even if it was just the backyard.Â
Now, you were suffering your own loss, one of many but in a different manner. It wasnât like you were a bereaved wife, but the agony wasnât any less excruciating.Â
Mark came over whenever he had the extra time to spare every week to check up on you, reminding you that you werenât as alone as you thought you were, but you still didnât want to confide in him about your emotions. You were afraid he would unintentionally make you feel more stupid.Â
You were a little verklempt. Maybe more than. They said time was the healer of all wounds, but with every week spent without Jaehyunâs familiar musk in the air and dreamy voice in your ear, you felt less and less whole.  Â
What could you have done to keep him close to you, even if it was just for a little while longer? Maybe if you hadnât ended on such cold, distant terms, moving on would be easier and you would be happier. You couldâve contentedly looked back on the memories of your last time together knowing you had done everything in your control to make it better.Â
But you were worried that that was false. You were worried that Jaehyun was right and this ending was premature.Â
It doesnât matter, premature or not. It was going to end either way. Thereâs no point in delaying the inevitable, you reassured yourself in what you once believed was aggressively honest consolation, but you were starting to question how you could be so certain.Â
You told yourself that with the burden of your immoral secrets weighing you down, you and Jaehyun couldâve never been a pair. You knew it wouldnât last forever. Youâd always known. You didnât expect things to make it this far, but dammit you didnât expect to have your fun cut short so soon either.Â
It wasnât fair.Â
Sometimes you dreamt of what it would be like to hold Jaehyun in your arms without worries, without stolen touches and kisses when nobody was paying attention.Â
You sat in the nook at your window, curled up into yourself, thinking only about Jaehyun. If it wasnât for the stupid secret that unraveled far too damn quickly, maybe none of this wouldâve ever happened. Maybe I would have you, with nothing to lose. Nothing to fear.
Fuck, you shouldâve been happy. Given how unlucky in love you were, you doubted that you were intended to ever be happy. You hadnât smiled in an eternity. But Jaehyun made you feel your peak of happiness, as if you had never been more euphoric with anybody else.Â
More than once, you had been in love, but never like how you were in love with Jaehyun. Why did things have to become so complicated for the both of us? Why did reality hit like a fucking freight train?
If only you never fell for Jaehyun, never even gave him the time of day, then you wouldnât be hurting. Your heart was being tortured.Â
It took another day of stumbling into the kitchen with dark eye bags after yet another sleepless night of sobbing into your pillows, and Johnny ignoring your existence altogether while he poured himself a mug of coffee, but it finally occurred to you that you couldnât relive this agonizing cycle over and over.Â
You were sick of the pain and the dread. The insufferably cold distance when his bedroom was right down the hall from yours. You were sick of sniveling until you had no more tears left to weep, until you felt totally empty.Â
Something had to give.Â
To your surprise, and luck, Mark called you a few minutes after you strolled back into your room wordlessly, devising a plan you loathed yourself for not thinking of earlier. âHey, bestie. Talk to me,â he said. âHow you feeling?â
âLike judgment day came early for me, I guess,â you mumbled into the phone, collapsing onto your sheets.Â
Mark sighed roughly. âDamn. I was hoping you would feel a little better this week. Johnny said youâre the worldâs biggest hermit and itâs kinda depressing.â
That shocked you to your core, but you tried to play it off. âOh, Johnnyâs been talking about me?â
âWell, yeah. Iâve obviously been checking up on the both of you on the regular, and neither of you really wanna open up to me, but Johnny has less of an issue talking about you. Man, he still cares. Heâs your brother.â
Your heart was sore. You wished he would tell you that himself. In your own home, to your own brother, you felt like a stranger.Â
Tears burned your eyes, but you fought them and lilted playfully, âOh, my beloved bestieâŠâ
Mark knew that tone and interjected, âFuck.â
You fought a tiny laugh and continued, âWould you mind doing your best friend a teeny tiny little favor?â
The suggestion alone sounded like bad news and Mark was questioning what he was about to get himself into, because no matter what came out his mouth first, you were his best friend. Of course, he was going to tell you âyes.â
Mark huffed, âJesus. Ease up on the mischief. Johnny still wants to beat my ass too, you know? He asked me if I knew you were boning Jaehyun and of course I couldnât lie. Iâm a man of God.â
Because you didnât feel like disputing that statement, you ignored his speech entirely and asked knowingly, âYour dadâs a cop, isnât he?â
âI donât like where this is going.â
Your voice was maybe a little hopeful. âIs there a way that he can look into the investigation of Mikeâs overdose?â
Mark knew exactly why you were asking and even he was ashamed he hadnât thought of the little plan. There was a brief pause before he said, âIâll call you back.â And then he hung up.Â
You were a little tense sitting there on your bed waiting around for a phone call. Not because you were worried about Mark not doing it, which would be ridiculous because you both wanted what was best for Johnny. It was because you were scared of not having a solution.
Deciding it would be useless to sit around antsily, you took a well-deserved nap after a restless twenty-four hours of no sleep. It would only do you good. Even if Mark didnât have the answers you wanted, your grades would thank you.
Sleep came easy. Though they werenât Jaehyunâs, it was nice and peaceful bunched beneath your blankets. You flipped your pillow over to the side that wasnât stained with tears and let darkness take the wheel.Â
Johnny peeked inside your room after an hour or two, wanting to talk to you, but when he saw you comfortably snoozing in your bed and obliviously clinging onto a spare pillow for dear life, he backed away and shut the door. He knew you needed the rest.Â
You jolted awake when your phone started to ring vehemently beside your head, cursing yourself for not turning on Do Not Disturb before immediately remembering why you didnât, and quickly lifting the phone to answer gruffly, âHello?â
âGood news,â Mark started, sounding suspiciously chipper. âI had my dad pull some strings. And youâre gonna wanna hear this.â
Sitting up, you exclaimed in an impatient whisper, âWell?â
âJeong Jaehyun is not a suspect, for one. There were witnesses that confirmed him giving Mike his fix was impossible. But for two, the case reopened a few months ago and theyâre literally about to bust the guy that did it. Theyâre waiting on a warrant. Youâve got great timing,â Mark said.Â
You rubbed your eyes in disbelief. âWhat the hell?â
âIsnât this good news?â
âYeah, it is,â you whispered, too shocked to know how to feel. You didnât think the stupid plan would really work. âThank you, Mark.â
Mark was quick to reassure you, âYou donât need to thank me. Youâre my best friend and Johnny is like my brother-in-law in some weird way. See, that sounds weird. Anyways, when do you plan on telling him?â
You laughed at his rambling, but hummed when you thought about his question. âUh, would today be a bad time?â
âThe sooner the better.â
You sighed in relief. Then, you donned the loveliest tone you could muster, and asked sweetly, âWill you come with me please? I think your presence will really help.â
Mark retorted, âShould I bring the entire police force too?â
You rolled your eyes and begged, âCome on, Mark. Youâre my bestie and I need you. Heâs more mad with me than he is with you and plus you have the benefit of a credible father.â
âI was already on my way,â Mark chirped, jiggling his keys loudly before hanging up.Â
You giggled. What would you do without that boy? He was your ride or die.Â
Fifteen minutes later, Mark was pulling into your driveway and hopping out of the car. You let him in, locking the door behind your best friend and embracing him in the biggest hug of his life. You needed the comfort to wean off your nerves.Â
The last thing you expected was for Johnny to come trudging down the stairs within the very next minute.Â
You released Mark, turning to your brother, and you and Johnny said in unison, âHey, I really need to talk to you.â
Johnny blinked in surprise. It almost seemed like he was mirroring you. Mark snickered to himself, mumbling something about you two obviously being related, but Johnny was chill and said, âYou can go first.â
You heaved a breath. It was a shock that Johnny deliberately chose to speak to you for the first time, presumably without the intervening influence of your parentsâ rebuttal on your behalf. âI donât know how to say this, but first I wanted to tell you that Iâm really sorry for sneaking around with Jaehyun behind your back. It was a really shitty thing for me to do.â
Johnny nodded along, listening.Â
âBut I fell in love with him,â you said without hesitation. âAnd Iâm not going to ask you to accept us or anything. Thatâs your choice. But I thought there was something you should know thatâs bigger than Jaehyun and I.â
Johnny looked tense, but he encouraged you to go on. âOkay.â
It felt like the whole world was watching you with Johnnyâs eyes carefully set on your face, but you didnât let it stop you from continuing, âIt really wasnât him that gave Mike his supply, and yes we have proof. Markâs dad not only confirmed it wasnât him, but theyâre working on getting him into custody.â
Mark nodded, standing right behind you. Like he was vouching for you the same way youâd vouched for him all these years. âItâs true, Johnny. It wasnât Jaehyun. It was some random shady dealer that preys on addicts at these parties. He has a track record.â
Johnnyâs eyes flickered. âIt really wasnât Jaehyun?â
Mark shook his head. âHeâs innocent, dude.â
Johnny fell silent for a long time. You could see him stiffening, penitent. âI donât know what to say,â he whispered. âI feel like shit now.â
You snorted. âDonât do that to yourself. Please. Iâve felt like shit enough these past few weeks for the both of us.â
âAbout that,â Johnny began, getting whiplash. The look on his face was gentle, remorseful, and he hated himself for being anything else to his sister. To the last person that deserved his misplaced frustration. âI wanted to tell you that Iâm sorry for freezing you out.â
âJohnnyâŠ,â you trailed.Â
Johnny shook his head. He needed you to let him say this. âI know youâve had a rough few weeks, and though I havenât exactly been pleased with you, youâre still my sister. The least I couldâve done was ask you âhow are you doing?â but I couldnât even be bothered.â
You sighed loudly. That was true. And youâd be lying if you said it didnât rub salt in the wounds.Â
âI havenât done a good job at showing it, but I care for you. Youâre my only sibling and letâs be honest, I donât think Iâll be getting another one,â Johnny said lightheartedly.Â
You snickered. Damn right. You knew your parents would vehemently agree if they were here. They couldnât be happier that all of their kids were adults. Well, maybe if you moved out.Â
Johnny breathed in some air. A lot of mistakes had obviously been made on both parts and he was ready to put it all behind him. âI guess what Iâm trying to say is that I forgot to do what was more important. Be your brother. And Iâll apologize for the rest of my life until you forgive me.â
âNo need. I forgive you right now,â you whispered, simpering.Â
Johnny stood there like a dumbass, hesitant. He didnât feel like he deserved your forgiveness and would be spending the next weeks repairing his relationship with you, doing whatever it took.Â
You took the lead, starting reluctantly, âListen. I know Mikeâs passing has been hard on you, Johnny. Thatâs why you want to protect me and everything else you love in your life, but Iâm an adult. You need to let me take care of me.âÂ
A cloud of melancholy hung over Johnny and it wouldnât leave. The grief was still fresh, as if Mike had died yesterday.Â
You stepped forward, placing a hand on Johnnyâs shoulder. âAnd youâre my big brother. Iâll obviously still give you a call when Iâm going through a rough time. But you have to respect that Iâm my own person.â
Johnny nodded. âYeah, I know. Iâm sorry about all that too. Iâll be better.â
âI will too,â you said, because the truth was that it was time the two of you started making efforts.Â
Johnny grabbed you in his arms and pulled you into a gigantic bear hug. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him close, and breathed easier in relief as weeks worth of wounds vanished.Â
Wincing your eyes closed, you let yourself be content in your brotherâs loving embrace for the first time in a while. You needed this.Â
You could barely feel yourself breathe when Johnny started to hug you so tightly you thought he might accidentally squeeze the life out of you. âAlright, chill, Johnny. I think I might die,â you wheezed.
Johnny released you with a chuckle. You gasped for breath, shaking your head. Though the bone-crushing hug was appreciated nonetheless.Â
Mark was content to be in the background and cheered in awe, âIâm so proud of you guys. You overcame your differences and reunited like real siblings. I knew it would happen eventually, but dude, this is refreshing to see.â
You nodded in agreement. One less broken relationship. But you had another one to salvage before it was too late.Â
Then, Mark remembered Johnny was none too thrilled that he was complicit in you getting away with your sneaky little secret and asked, âYo, Johnny, are we good?â
âNo.â
Mark gawked.Â
âIâm kidding,â Johnny said with a teasing lilt. âWeâre good, man.â
Mark exhaled in relief. âThank god.â
You smiled to yourself. You were happy, but you couldnât shake the feeling that something was missing from your life.Â
Johnny clamped a hand onto your shoulder and said, âGo get him.â
You gasped, but you didnât question how he knew. He just did. It was a sibling thing. âYou mean it?â
âYes. You said it yourself. You love him, and I have no reason to come between that anymore. You deserve to be happy after dating asshole after asshole,â Johnny told you (sort of) kindly.Â
You snickered, and grabbed your keys from your pockets. âPray for me. Heâs not gonna be thrilled.â
Johnny shook his head, disagreeing. âYeah, he will. Tell him that Iâm very sorry, but the threat to kick his ass still stands if he fucks with you.â
âIâll be sure to let him know,â you deadpanned, heading for the door.Â
The drive to Jaehyunâs house was inexplicably anxious. You could still think, but every thought went by at the speed of a thousand miles per second. And it didnât help that you were overthinking the entire situation, dreading the endless amount of âwhat ifs.â
For fuckâs sake, you didnât even know if he would be there. You were showing up unannounced, uninvited. What if he had already found another woman to keep him company in your forgettable absence?
Then, you were at his front doorstep. And you had no time to vividly imagine every possible scenario, because Jungkook answered your knocks and you could only barely see inside.Â
You politely greeted him in a small voice and asked, âCan I come inside?â
Jungkookâs eyes narrowed and he didnât waste any time in snapping, âWhy should I let you in after you broke my friendâs heart?â
âBecause Iâm sorry and I want to set things right with him,â you said, matching his lack of hesitation.Â
Yugyeom hurried over and took the lead, widening the door for you to enter and whining dramatically, âOh, god. Please come in. Fix him. Do your womanly magic and bring him back to life. Iâm sick of his brooding ass.â
You wanted to laugh, but you hated the thought of causing Jaehyun all this suffering. If it was anything like the kind youâd been through lately, you knew he was in a tough spot.Â
Thanking Yugyeom, you made a beeline for the stairs, rushing up them like Jaehyun would somehow know it was you approaching them and slip away before you could get the chance to apologize.Â
You knocked on Jaehyunâs door, but you guessed he really wasnât expecting you to come over, because he shouted exasperatedly, âJesus, Yugyeom. Fuck off.â
âItâs not Yugyeom,â you called back. âItâs me.â
All you could hear was silence. Then there was a shuffle, and a few moments later the door clicked unlocked and Jaehyun was standing before you in all his glory. âWhat are you doing here?â
âI walked to talk,â you replied timidly, struggling to maintain eye contact.Â
Irritated, Jaehyun huffed, âWe already had a conversation.â Though the truth was that he was glad you were here, standing in front of him again. He was borderline miserable without you in his life.Â
The reminder of your final exchange with Jaehyun made you wince in shame. âI know, but I wanted to apologize. Wonât you at least hear me out?â
Jaehyun turned to return to his bed, reminding sharply, âYouâre the one that walked away. I was willing to at least try to make us work, but you didnât even want to do that.â
âBecause I thought it would be useless,â you admitted, giving chase and shutting the door behind yourself. âBut I donât anymore. You were right. I shouldâve fought for us and I regret not doing it earlier.â
Jaehyun mightâve acted like he wasnât listening, being totally dismissive, but he definitely noticed your specific use of language. âYou said âearlier.â What do you mean?â
You had a beaming smile on your face as you admitted, âI mean, I talked to Johnny about us. I managed to get him to listen to me and proved your innocence. Thank god Markâs father is a cop.â
Jaehyun softened. âYou did all that? Why?â
âBecause youâre worth fighting for,â you whispered tenderly, looking at Jaehyun like he was your entire universe.Â
Jaehyun was so close to accepting that he would never have anyone look at him that way again. After a heartbreak, the feeling of being unlovable always loomed over his head and you were no different. But dammit if he wasnât tired of the doubts.Â
Tentatively, you came towards Jaehyun completely, sitting beside him on his mattress that you missed almost as much as you missed him. âI didnât mean it, when I said I wish I never met you.â
Jaehyun almost laughed. That was the least hurtful thing to leave your lips. âI know. You were upset. And you had every right to be.â
You frowned, suspicious of how calm he was. You half expected him to lash out. âStop being understanding.âÂ
âIf youâre expecting me to be angry, I canât do anything for you. Iâve already spent the past few weeks in that stage of grief.â
You blinked. It was as if he could read your mind. âWhere are you at now?â
Jaehyun was totally indifferent when he told you, âBargaining.â
âFunny. Me too,â you sighed. If only you had been more open-minded, you could have spared you and Jaehyun all this worthless misery.Â
You noticed that Jaehyun said nothing, but he looked a little in his head. And he was somewhere up there, scolding himself for letting him be a fool for you, then thinking, I couldnât resist loving you. Sue me.Â
The emotion was finally surfacing on his face. You could see all of it now. The distress and the love and the heartache. You smirked, thinking to yourself, Heâs my little damsel now.Â
The grin on your lips was fleeting and it disappeared by the time you grabbed Jaehyunâs hands in yours and he peered down at you in surprise. âIâm sorry,â you told him softly. âI thought you were crazy and hopeless for thinking we could be together. Now, I see that you didnât want to quit until youâd exhausted your resources. And I forced your hand. Iâm sorry.â
Jaehyun squeezed your hand. âItâs okay. I understand where you were coming from. You were trying to make things as painless as possible because you genuinely thought we didnât stand a chance against fate.â
âAnd somehow I made shit ten times more painful,â you murmured, ashamed.Â
âLike I said, I understand where you were coming from,â Jaehyun said, being gentler than he shouldâve.Â
You shook your head. That meant nothing. âBut do you forgive me?â
Jaehyun gazed into your pained eyes. It still broke him, but he was starting to lick the wound clean. Things were changing. âYes. I forgive you, baby.â
Your heart softened at the pet name. You never expected to fall for Jaehyun. Not Jaehyun or his precious smile and adorable face. Not the little things heâd say that made you feel as if you would burst with love.Â
But you did fall for him, and all those little things that made him himself. And you didnât want to be without them ever again.Â
âIâm tired of loving each other behind closed doors. I want to be seen with you. I want to go to museums and look at really abstract paintings that youâll tell me are meaningful for whatever reason. I want to explore the city with you and visit shops Iâd never think to go to otherwise.â
Jaehyun was sporting a beaming smile. âYou said you love me.â
âI havenât said it before?â
Jaehyun huffed, âNo. Not even once.â
You held his face, cradling it just shy of yours, and confessed, âThen, I love you. I love you. I love you so much, Jaehyun. I donât know what to do without you.â
âI love you too,â Jaehyun said, leaning in to mumble the tiny confession into your neck, and reminded of how desperately he craved the warmth of your skin.Â
You were grinning so hard your cheeks were hurting.Â
âDonât leave me ever again. Donât ever let me go. Never,â Jaehyun instructed you sharply, and although it was partly muffled, you heard him loud and clear.
âI wonât,â you told him, kissing his forehead. âIf you play me that song you made me on your guitar.â
Jaehyun blinked up at you in surprise. âYou liked it?â
âI think Iâve cried to it, like, a million times,â you admitted unabashedly.Â
Jaehyunâs jaw went slack for only a split second, then he quickly recovered and leapt up to grab his guitar from its resting position in the corner of his room.Â
A smile danced onto your lips as he held the guitar, strumming to the beautiful song heâd written with only his insurmountable adoration for you in mind, and the pining nature of the lyrics made you realize that the yearning was over. You were Jaehyunâs. And Jaehyun was yours.Â
Losing Jaehyun, one of the few people you loved depthlessly, was like losing the last person you had. You didnât know how to be without him. And you didnât have to learn, because you never would be without him again.Â
You watched him attentively, beaming from ear to ear, taking in his beautiful smile and soft voice, and familiar heady cologne. And you thought to yourself, Thereâs nothing to dislike about this guy.Â
#jaehyun smut#nct 127 smut#nct smut#jaehyun x reader#nct imagines#jaehyun imagines#jung jaehyun smut#nct x reader#nct#nct scenarios
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HE MOANS LIKE SUCH A SLUT! â JJK MEN
SYNOPSIS...an analysis on how the jjk men sound when they moan like sluts
INFO...moaning, cursing, and other disgusting things that goes on in my brain so beware
OTHER...likes and reblogs are appreciated
TOJI
In my head, toji is a moaner and a groaner! Like when heâs really into it, like plowing you to the point where you canât breathe, heâs groaning and cursing so much. Definitely breathing heavily too. His moans are sort of low pitched to normal sounding, he doesnât moan high pitched and he doesnât whimper at all. He curses every five seconds like this man canât get enough of it. He canât help himself when you feel so good around him yk? He definitely groans in your ear if he has you in certain positions, he knows you like it when he goes animalistic for you and fucks you harshly. And when he breathed heavily, itâs not like heâs just got done running a marathon but like those sexy heavy breaths. âFuck, you feel so good around me. Youâre gonna make me fucking cum!â Like yes, be vocal!
GETO
Whimpers and moans. Heâs not too loud with it but heâs loud enough and thatâs all that matters. His whimpers are so high pitched itâs so fucking cute! Like if youâre giving him head and you lick and suck on his tip, baby boy is whimpering and moaning while his hips buck into your mouth, ugh! He sounds so pretty I canât even. His eyes roll into the back of his head sometimes and he doesnât really curse much, but when he does itâs so fucking hot because itâs usually followed with praise afterwards. He starts moaning a lot more when heâs closer to cumming and his words start jumbling together before he ends up doing so. Geto just because a mess. You purposely like the positions where heâs moaning in your ear cause it turns you on so much hearing how good you make him feel. âPlease, please,â he moans, eyes rolling back, âIâm so close!â Overstim that man!
GOJO
Loud as fuck! Iâm talking moaning, screaming, cursing, this man is doing it all. Obviously heâs screaming in a good way! Heâs super sensitive everywhere, like his entire body. So if you stimulate two areas at once, maybe even three, Gojo is literally going to combust and start going crazy. He is so loud that you will get a complaint from the damn neighbors. His voice gets all raspy and sometimes even cracks! Thatâs how you know that man is in heaven! Heâll stutter over his words. Hell, sometimes he doesnât even say full sentences before he ends up moaning like a damn porn star. He whimpers at the slightest touches so go ahead and tease that man until heâs begging for you to fuck him. His moans are in between normal and high pitched, and when heâs about to cum he gets really loud! Sometimes, you have to muffle his moans with your hand when heâs cumming. âBaby! Baby! Shit! Fuck! Iâm gonna cum, Iâm cumming! Iâm soâfuuuuck!â Slut this man out, thank you very much.
CHOSO
Heâs kind of quiet because heâs scared of being vocal. Poor baby want sto moan so bad, but heâs shy! Heâll bite his lip to conceal his moans, so all you hear from him is heavy breathing and small whimpers. He curses under his breath sometimes, but not a lot. Sometimes his moans slip out when you touch him in a place that feels really good and you catch it, his cheeks turn red immediately but before he could protest, you keep touching him in that same spot just to hear how pretty he sounds. Baby is so embarrassed its adorable! Heâs covering his face despite the sounds leaving his lips. âS-shit! Feels so good!â He eventually makes eye contact with you, shocked by how much he came and how vocal he was. And it was all thanks to you!
NANAMI
Heâs definitely a groaner and a grunter. Like heâs so aggressive with you sometimes and like?? Yes please! Caring and loving outside the bedroom but treats you like a whore inside the bedroom? Thank you for your service. Just imagine him staring up at you with lustful eyes and heâs just groaning from how good you feel! Yeah, sign me up! He talks you through it for sure, like he talks through his teeth. And not in a weird way, itâs definitely sexy when nanami does it cause itâs him. Heâs so loud when heâs groaning too. He does it in your ear and it sends chills all over your body, ugh! Sometimes heâll let out those blissful sighs and throw his head back! This man makes your panties drop! Heâs not the type to curse for some reason? I just donât see it. If he does curse, itâs like once or twice. Heâs still sexy! âYes! Right there, baby! Keep riding me, make me cum.â SIR YES SIR! Orders are followed!
SUKUNA
Where do I even start with sukunaâŠ? Like I donât see this man moaning or whimpering. He might groan and grunt but literally I see him degrading you and laughing the entire time. Like the times he will moan it will be deep and guttural, but itâs so sexy. He never wants to show or admit that you feel good to him because he sees it as weakness. He doesnât want you to have that type of control over him. Like Iâm all for big scary men acting like subby whores, but sukuna wonât allow that! He does take notice that you do clench around him when he does moan those few timesâŠso maybe heâll change his mind? Hehe. When heâs really into it heâs groan and digging his nails into your skin and when he finally cums thatâs when those moans come out. âYour sloppy hole is only mine to fill up. Understand, slut?â Yeah, sure, cupcake.
repost from my old account!
#ââclassyrbf#anime#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#anime smut#jjk smut#gojo x reader#sukuna x reader#nanami x reader#choso x reader#toji x reader#geto x reader#gojo smut#sukuna smut#choso smut#toji smut#nanami smut#geto smut#jjk headcanons
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Can you turn two homophobic bullies into a gay couple that still had their muscles and not into twinks, they love to have sex with each other and others please
âDude, you donât think Iâm being too unreasonable, right?â Seth questioned, while in the midst of his bicep curl, âI mean, you wouldâve total done the same, right?â
âNo dude, totally.â Nick replied, âCanât risk that shit.â
Seth nodded, âShe was a total bitch about it too.â He recalled the angry expression on his girlfriendâs face. How shocked she was when he told her he was ending it, âCanât risk that shit. I canât have a gay kid.â
When Seth discovered that his girlfriendâs brother was gay, he quickly broke things off. If being gay ran in her family, he couldnât commit. No way in hell heâd be raising a gay son. As the proud son of a long-line of conservative, military men, Seth knew he had a duty to continue the family tradition. He was glad Nick could understand.
âYeah, I hear ya.â Nick continued, âI couldnât really imagine it either.â He ran a hand through his dark hair, âGod, could you imagine having a gay kid?â He chuckled, âBut she was hot though.â
âYeah...â Seth mused, thinking of his now ex-girlfriendâs chest, âAlright, Iâll spot you.â
Seth stood at the head of the bench press and watched closely as Nick slowly raised and lowered the bar. He had to admit, Nick was getting good. It seemed like it was just yesterday when the two started going to the gym. He was always the stronger of the two, yet Nick was quickly catching up.
âAtta boy.â Seth encouraged.
The more he stared at Nick, the more he came to appreciate how much work his buddy mustâve been putting in. The way his biceps bulged and his triceps strained with each movement. Up, down, up, down. Seth shook his head.
âYou okay, man?â Nick asked, sitting up.
âYeah, Iâm okay.â
They walked over to the bench and Seth grabbed his two dumbbells. Up, down, up, down. He always enjoyed the strain an incline bench press put on his muscles. But he could feel his arms shaking from the heavier weight.
âI got ya.â Nick reassured, supporting his buddyâs arms.
Seth blushed at the feeling of Nickâs calloused hands on his arms. The way his buddy gently applied pressure to help him complete his set. He looked up at Nick, who seemed a bit surprised by the look in his buddyâs eyes.
âDude, you in love with me or somethinâ?â Nick chuckled and Seth quickly broke eye contact.
âFuck, donât get too full of yourself.â He replied, dropping his weights.
Nick slapped his buddy on the back, which only made Seth shudder in pleasure. There was something about Nickâs touch. But he shook his head. What the fuck was he thinking?
âGotta work tris.â Nick said, raising a dumbbell above his head, exposing his musky pits.
Seth could only stare. Up, down, up, down. But the smell of his broâs musk was making his dick twitch. He wondered what it would be like to bury his nose in his broâs hairy pit. Get right up close and personal with that musk. Sethâs eyes widened when he consciously realized what he just thought.
âFuck, I need to go splash some water on my face.â He said, his voice trembling.
Before Nick could say anything, Seth quickly started walking towards the locker room, not realizing that his gait had changed somewhat. He sauntered- his ass sticking out just a bit more. And Nick certainly noticed. For whatever reason, he couldnât look away. His buddyâs firm ass swaying with each step. And the young athlete wondered what it would be like to squeeze it. He shook his head and cursed under his breath, doing his best to focus on his workout.
When Seth arrived in the locker room, he walked over to the sink and stared at himself in the mirror. What the hell was he thinking? He never had a gay thought, right? I mean, he could appreciate a guy who goes to the gym. But that was all it was-appreciation. He splashed some water in his face and nearly jumped when he saw some of the other gym patrons. All shirtless or nude. Their musculature on full display. Their soft dicks. Seth could feel himself salivating. His body betraying his mind. His cock starting to stir in his pants.
âNo, no, no.â Seth thought, shaking these thoughts from his brain.
And without another word, he fled. Running back to his apartment where he slammed the door and went to his bedroom. The young jock immediately pulling up some porn, desperate to prove to himself these thoughts were an aberration. But no matter how big the tits on screen or feminine the moans, his dick remained soft. Only when he focused on the guy did he feel any attraction.
âThis...â Seth didnât understand, âHow...?â A knock on his door interrupted his thoughts.
He sauntered over to his door, not even bothering to put on a shirt or pants. And when he opened it, he saw Nick standing there. A strange look in his eyes.
âDude.â Nick breathed, âWhere the fuck....?â
âSomethingâs wrong with me.â Seth huffed, beckoning his buddy inside, âI donât...â
When the door closed and the two were alone, Seth noticed it for the first time. The look in Nickâs eye as he roamed his buddyâs nearly nude form. And Seth crossed his arms over his pecs, wanting to appear smaller. To disappear from view of his buddyâs lustful eyes.
âNick... donât...â
âItâs okay.â Nick reassured. Seth had heard this voice before. It was the one he used to pick up chicks at the bar. Breathy and seductive. Dripping with confidence. Seth shuddered, âHere, donât worry.â
He approached Seth and wrapped his arms around his waist, giving his buddyâ juicy ass a firm squeeze. Seth whimpered, his cock starting to harden. He shuddered as Nick guided his hand under his shirt, allowing him to feel the firm, sweaty muscles he had seen only in the locker room. Sethâs mind wandered as he explored his buddyâs thick pecs. His fingers tracing firm abs. And then Nick guided him further, his hand moving below his waistline. Into his boxers. Around his friendâs erect manhood.
âNo... this is...â Sethâs eyes widened as Nickâs lips crashed into his own. And slowly, he returned the same level of passion. His eyes closing, his hand stroking his friendâs cock.
It wouldnât be long before the two were in the bedroom. Their hands greedily roaming each otherâs muscular forms. Their tongues exploring each otherâs mouths. And as Seth kissed his buddyâs abs and made his way down, he could hear a voice begging him to stop. Crying that he wasnât gay. That he wasnât just some cock sucker. But it became muffled as he began deep-throating Nickâs member. The voice drowned out by the sound of his friendâs pleasure-filled moans.
âDonât worry,â Seth thought, reassuring the whimpering voice in his head, âYouâre not just a cock sucker.â He looked up at his friend and grinned.
Nick smirked, âEver try bottoming?â He asked.
The voice in Sethâs head screamed for him to stop. But Sethâs grin only widened. His muscular ass aching with need for it to be filled.
âThereâs a first time for everything.â
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Family swap: Boys just wanna have fun!
My name is Robert Philip Cornell. I come from a very succesful family of lawyers. And in order to honor my family's legacy I continued in this tradition. Therefore I hope that one of my sons, preferably both, will continue this path as well. Unfortunately my twins, Richard and Philip, are very much like me and their mother. Inteligent, very good looking and thanks to our wealth, powerful. And they know how to use that. But sometimes I wonder if they should appreciate our legacy more than they do now. If you asked me right now and I answered that they were high, drunk or fucking someone, I'd definitely hit atleast one of the three if not all of them.
I was in Johannesburg to help close a company I represent a great deal. After signing we ended having a few coctails and then I left the group to my hotel room. Suddenly a WhatsApp message came to my mobile phone. From my wife Anna
"I'm sorry for interupting your meeting. Call me asap when you're free. It's the boys"
Oh god. What now? I dialed my wife's phone number
Anna:"Hey love. How was the meeting?"
Robert:"Hi, all went well. What's happening?"
Anna:"Philip took the boat. Richard covered him and as soon as the boat left the harbour he followed him. They just wanted to trick me. So now they're once again having a party on the sea, absolutely high as always. I just hope the cost guard will be understanding once again"
Robert:"Honey. I know you mean well with them, but I think it's time"
Anna:"Robert no. You can't be serious. Don't you remember what happened with your father and you when you two did this? Your father wanted to 'teach you a lesson', then you spent a shit ton of money and almost destroyed his reputation."
Robert:"And look where it got me. I know that the boys will understand eventually"
Anna:"So what are you gonna do? It wouldn't be fair to swap only one of them and there isn't another male figure left in your family to swap them with"
Robert:"I wasn't thinking of a male figure to be honest"
Anna:"Are you crazy? One of my sons in my FEMALE body? Robert, I don't think I'm comfortable with that. I can't imagine one of them treating my body decently"
Robert:"I am not happy with one of them ruining my image too or even treating my and yours body, but I believe that they will learn the lesson soon enough. Besides, wouldn't you wanna take those two teen hormonal bodies for a spin?"
Anna:"You're a tease Robert... when?"
Robert:"How about right now? I am in a hotel room. So let's say, Richard can try to get out of South Africa back home and Philip now can try to figure out and stress alone in your body on an island, how to get their original bodies back"
Anna:"Robert... you're evil. Then I am looking forward to see you in a minute"
Robert:"See you soon, my love"
A few minutes passed since Robert wanted to write down some instructions and so did Anna
Richard and Philip were on a yacht, blasting music and approaching the beach of the city they were headed to. Suddenly a text message sound. Philip opened the message first. It said:"Since you boys want to be on your own and enjoy everything life has to offer, we give you our bodies to take care of and with them the duties of maintaining our family image. Yes, you now have to work, yes you have to provide for the family. And yes, one of you will be a female. Treat our bodies with respect and we will do the same."
Philip:"Dude is dad tripping? What the hell is that?"
Richard:"I think I'm too high for this, bro"
A very nauseating feeling that didn't originate from the waves of the sea sweat through the two teens. Both trying hard not to vomit
Richard's P.O.V.
The feeling passed. There was a bright artificial light around him and he felt water coming down his chest. Wait what? How did he get in the shower? Was he that high that he didn't even remember the boat landing, the party or anything?
Richard looked down on his chest
"What the fuck?!?" a deep voice echoed the walls of the shower
"Philip? Did you bleach my chest hair? They're grey you fucker. And what the hell happened to my voice? I sound like dad."
I wasn't paying much attention to myself and what was actually happening. I just took a towel, exitted the shower and tried to find out where the hell I was. I looked around and couldn't find much. It was a pretty normal hotel room, on the bed I saw my fathers briefcase and his clothes. There was a note on the bed:"Wanted to hand you everything clean and ready. BEHAVE and don't ruin my body! Love, dad"
"What the actual fuck is this?"
The reality was starting to him the. The text message, the note, the chest hair. I was scared to look in the mirror, but there was no other way of knowing
"You son of a bitch!" he really did it. My new reflection wasn't the one I was used to, but seemed like my much older one and a but distorted along with a beard. My father is a very handsome man, I have to give him that. But it is very different from the point of view of his son. Your parents aren't suppose to be hot, they're disgusting to you no matter how they look. Yet here I was standing, watching my father's muscular, grey-haired torso. His veins on his biceps. His piercing eyes that I knew very precisely, cause these ones were the ones that raised me. The ones that always seemed the most disappointed.
But now. I was behind these eyes. And my father did this to me on purpose. He wanted to give me another life lesson. "You know what dad? Fuck you!"
I dropped the towel I put around my waist before to reveal a hairy flacid dick. Ew, I never thought I would see my father's dick from this point of view. We'll here we are. But it's not bad to be honest. Might give it a little trim and the chicks would dig it.
I took a second before doing that to really think hard. I had to look away from the mirror causing watching my father jerk off wasn't something I would get off to daily. But watching this nice cock get hard in my hands as I was palying with these hairy balls and the foreskin, that was something. Looking down I was really proud. I am still muscular, I look amazing and I got a nice dick. Doesn't matter what dad does to me. I'll enjoy this punishment.
I grabbed my new dick hard. I squeezed it until I felt pain. And then I started jerking it. I spit in my hand and played with the head, almost instantly. I stopped and resumed jerking. I was hairy everywhere. I wasn't used to that. I wasn't even thinking about this body as my father's anymore.
My right hand was curious enough to get into the jungle between my buttcheeks. And what a jungle it is. I spit into that hand as well.
"Sorry, daddy. Boys just wanna have fun"
I pushed one finger inside. I could that this body has never experinced that. I'll enjoy that even more. I pushed in another finger and then kept on pushing until I couldn't. I felt my new prostate. So sensitive! I pushed and pulled. Almost forgetting to jerk off at the same time. I got in sync and could only scream in pleasure. I was so close. I could feel the sensation building up. If I were in my body I would stop to take care of the mess in time. But I didn't care. I let it pour outside off me. The cum got into my chest hair and on my abs. I let out a sight of relief
Collapsed on the bed, I noticed dad's phone lighting up. Mom was calling. Wait, is it really mom or is Philip also swapped? I gotta know. I took the phone to my ear and answered
Philip:"Those fuckers. What are we gonna do about them?"
Richard:"I don't know about you, but I just had the best orgasm in my life"
Philip:"You're so disgusting Rich, that's our fathers body, you know that?"
Richard:"Yeah, but that didn't stop me. And I don't think you should stop either. The women say that their orgasm is so much more intense, so now you'll know"
Philip:"I don't know if I am ok with that. It's our mother's pussy, bro"
Richard:"Yeah and? I just fingered our father ass. Suck it up big boy. I'll send you a location. I'll take a plane and we'll meet there?"
Philip:"You're nasty bro. See you there I guess. Wait, wait do you know what is this tiny weird thing sticking out at the top of the vagina?"
I packed my fahter's things and set off to meet my bro, or wife?. I went to the local mall and slightly altered my visage. Do you think they'll let me inside of the plane like this? Oh and one tiny request I gotta send to our butler
Robert and Anna's P.O.V.
Anna:"I must admit, Robert, I haven't felt so full off energy in ages!"
Robert:"That might be the drugs the boys took, haha"
Anna:"No, seriously. The boys got great bodies, but our bodies aren't as much vital as these ones. We have to go do something!"
Robert:"How about we continue in the plans that the boys had? Might be fun"
We arrived to an empty beach with no one in sight.
Robert:"Did you check the coordinates?"
Anna:"Sorry, dear but I am still very high. I am still surprised we didn't crash the boat"
Robert:"Haha. It's so funny to see Philip call me honey. Haha, jesus. I think I am still also high"
Anna:"Wanna maybe lie down here and just... chill. Or how do the kids these days call it?"
Robert:"Haha. 'Kids these days'. Philip looks like a nostalgic senior now"
Anna in Philip's body laughed. "Yeah and what are you? A teen king who knows all the trends?" she ran up to him and pushed him on the ground
Both boys's bodies still very high. They very playfully fighting in the sand. Rolling around, like two teenage boys would
Suddenly Anna planted Robert a kiss. Robert was shocked and stared at her not returning it
Anna:"I still see you as you. I don't care what bodies we're in. Even if we were worms I'd Âčstill love you"
Robert:"Anna, I... don't think I can do this"
Anna grabbed Robert's new hard dick and looked back at him:"Then don't think at all. Just love me"
Anna kissed him again and this time Robert kissed back. He felt the love his wife had for him and kissed the another boys body back.
The two identical boys now with their hands all over their bodies. Exploring each other as if it were a mirror. A mirror that they made out. A mirror that they were caressing and pressing their hard dick against.
Ther dicks were out. Anna in Philip's body just laughed as she felt her husband sucking her dick:"I understand why you always beg me. This is so goood. Keep going!"
Robert didn't believe what he was doing, but he couldn't really keep thinking that or else he would go mad. Sucking his son's dick was definitely not on his bucket list.
Robert got into a 69 position. Twins giving each other the same pleasure. What a sight for horny eyes.
They didn't talk. They were mouthful, so there was no room for talking. Each gagging on each others dick. Giving pleasure to the other one. Thursting and enjoying the same feeling from the other. They were close very close. And they both came almost at the same time. They got some perfecting to do.
They were in each other's arms, naked on the beach sand. Enjoying the view of the other one. Just smiling at each other.
And just then, the family Butler arrived with security to the beach.
Nigel:"Good afternoon gentlemen. I have strickt orders from your parents to transport you back to your house and to enroll you back into high school. You have your senior year to finish and you have to pass all your exams. Your parents also gave a strict rule of no alcohol, no drugs and no visits in your home. Shall we leave?"
Robert to Anna:"Oh that's what I forgot. Fuck, Richard is good. This is gonna be very good for him. I think he'll be the next one to continue."
Anna:"Did you just hear what Nigel said, honey?"
Robert:"All I heard was that I will spend a lot off tĂme together with the love of my life. I don't care how painful it will be. We get to be young again and together. And don't forget that the boys share bedroom, honey." I saw Anna blushing and smile as she opened the car door.
Richard a Philip's P.O.V.
Philip:"Are you sure we're safe like this?"
Richard:"Yeah, bro. They're gonna have to go to high school and all. Nigel already has them at home. We get to live no without nagging"
Philip:"Yeah, so amazing to have no nagging, but If you haven't noticed I am the one with mums pussy."
Richard:"And I bet it's hungry for dick"
Philip:"Why on earth didn't they swap you into mum instead of me. I'm not even bi. I won't enjoy the sex as much as you will"
Richard;"Ok, I promile that tonight I'll show you that you're now definitely on the spectrum and that I now have a magnificent dick that will make you very happy"
Philip:"Fine. So, we gonna party now or what?"
Richard:"The festival hasn't even started yet and you wanna party already. I think we're now the oldest people here dude."
Philip:"Well then let's show them how older people party!"
An inbox story that I played with a tiny bit :D
Could you write a story about parents swapping bodies with their twin kids since they donât behave. Now the parents in the boys body must go to school and enjoy their youth while the boys in their parents bodies have to give to work and be responsible.
If you haven't seen your story yet, don't worry I got a lot of them in the inbox, some of them are partially written in the drafts and are now just waiting for me to have more time and be horny enough to finish them đ
#Body swap#Family swap#Father swap#Mother swap#Mtf body swap#Mtm bodyswap#Twins swap#Son swap#Father son body swap
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It's the Heat
Billy Butcher x Reader
It's the hottest summer in years and the safe house Frenchie's contact handed over to the boys has no air
It's just a smut(ish) drabble
You turned over for what felt like the millionth time. You appreciated having a safe place to crash until Grace could help all of you out of this tight spot but for the love of christ they couldn't have thrown in a singular working air conditioner?
The one fan that had been alloted per bedroom was the only thing keeping what little sanity you had. MM had his own room, Kimiko was in with Frenchie, Hughie was with Annie and that meant you were stuck with Butcher.
"For fuck's sake,if you flip over one more time I'm kicking you out of the bed" you groaned hearing his voice behind you. "It's feels like the seventh circle of hell in here" you turned to face him and the bastard was laying back across the bed with his eyes closed. He'd shed everything down to his boxers,no wonder he wasn't complaining.
You were wearing a tank top and thin cotton pants but they felt like they might as well have been made of wool. He opened one eye and smirked "Strip down. Fan feels pretty decent when nothings stopping it" you knew he was purposely fucking with you but the idea did sound promising.
You shrugged and lifted your bottom off the bed to wiggle the pants off your hips, you cut your eyes at Butcher to see he now had his head propped up on one arm watching you. The look in his eyes told you he didn't mind the view and honestly the fan did feel better already. Butcher was a lot of things but you knew you could trust him to the extent of not touching without consent and well you'd gotten dressed in front of the entire crew before so you figured why not and pulled the tank over your head and tossed it to the floor along with your pants.
"Fuckin hell" he muttered and you cut your eyes at him "Something wrong Butch?" He rolled his eyes "The heat is diabolical" you nodded, closing your eyes as the fan rotated in a pitiful attempt to cool your bodies "I'm tempted to go sleep in the tub but either I'd wake up pruney or Frenchie would toss ice cubes in for shits and giggles"
"That's an idea" Butcher mumbled so you cut one eye at him "What?" He just smirked and got out of bed. He glanced back over his shoulder before stepping into the hall.
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A few minutes later Butcher walked back into the room carrying a plastic bowl and sat it down on the nightstand "How bad do you want to cool down?" Ok that made you curious "Pretty bad but not sell my soul bad" he smirked but this one was one of those that made your stomach flip. "Cmere luv, let me help ya out"
He sat down on the bed and leaned back against the wall before patting between his legs. You worried your bottom lip with your teeth for a second before moving over and getting comfortable with your back against his chest "How's this supposed to help" "Trust me" "Said the devil to Cain"
"Funny" he leaned up to grab something out of the bowl then told you to close your eyes. "I will stab you if you fuck with me Billy" you warned and he chuckled "Love a woman that doesn't mind a little maiming"
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You closed your eyes and after a moment felt something cold hit your neck. A light gasp escaped you but as it moved further down your neck with Billy's fingers working to ease the muscles trying to tense from the cold a moan slipped from your lips from the pure relief the cold brought to your heated skin.
"Sounds like you're enjoying yourself so far" he teased and you wiggled closer into his chest "I didn't exactly say stop" "You're fucking bossy" he scoffed before grabbing another ice cube out of the bowl and continuing down your chest. When his large hand cupped your breast, teasing the sensitive mound with the ice, your breathing quickened just a bit.
His mouth was close enough to your ear you could feel his lips brush your skin when he whispered "Want to keep going?" You turned to look at him, your lips brushing lightly against his as you spoke "Please"
He moved the ice to his left hand to free up the right one to grip your chin "I got ya" he spoke right before the ice teased across your other breast, making you arch into his touch "Fuck Butcher" the relief from the heat was beginning to mix with the pleasure from him teasing your now hardened nipple with his fingertips.
He leaned closer and you met his lips halfway. The kiss was tentative, teasing but made you moan lightly when he rolled his tongue against yours. You felt his fingers dip under your panties, the cold sting of the ice prickling goosebumps up onto your skin.
He broke the kiss and you knew from the look he gave you that he was asking for the go ahead so you let your legs fall apart further "Glad this place didn't have air conditioning" he chuckled as his fingers slipped down further.
You walked out of the bathroom the next morning, dressed in a pair of shorts and a tshirt. You were looking for your sneakers and Frenchie because he could do pretty decent dutch braids.
You walked into the kitchen and Hughie cut his eyes up at you over his cup of orange juice as Annie said "How'd you sleep?" You felt like you were missing the joke but you shrugged "As well as I could with the heat" Frenchie laughed from his place at the stove "I'm sure it was hotter with Butcher on top of you"
You felt your cheeks warm as they all started laughing even Kimiko and MM. Just when you thought it couldn't get worse Butcher walked in behind you "Who said I was the one on top?"
#billy butcher smut#billy butcher x female reader#billy butcher x you#billy butcher x reader#the boys fanfic
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who did this to you?
mattheo riddle x reader
warnings : domestic abuse, mentions of disordered eating, toxic relationship (not with mattheo)
âăă»ă. ă»Â°ă⌠ă°㻠. ăă»ăâ
"gosh, will you hurry up?" cormac paced back and forth in your dorm as you were getting ready.
"i'm trying," you said trying to control your tears. you quickly set your foundation which was heavily packed on, covering the yellowing bruise underneath.
"fucking finally," he groaned. you got up and placed your robe on before the two of you walked down to the great hall for breakfast. thankfully it was the weekend so you could avoid as many people as possible.
you had tried getting out of the relationship, but he always gaslit and guilt tripped you into coming back. cormac had essentially isolated you from 90% of your friends and anyone you ever came into contact with.
he knew what he was doing, he was limiting your options of people to go to by making you out to be a bad person when you were secretly getting abused physically and mentally by cormac.
at first, he was the sweetest boy you had ever met. you thought you had met the love of your life - the man you would marry. you were terribly
wrong.
as soon as he had you wrapped around his finger, he switched. he constantly picked apart your appearance, belittling you and leaving you with minimal confidence.
he once accidentally slapped you during an argument, he told you he would never do it again. he lied.
at first your friends were concerned, they tried helping you, but cormac threatened you that if you told them, he'd hurt you. you were already hurting enough and you didn't think it was worth the risk.
soon rumours made their way around school that you talked shit about your friends, leading many of your friendships to end. you didn't know it was cormac who has behind all of it.
you spotted matthe staring at you already as you walked into the hall. you absolutely hated him - not for anything in particular, the two of you just never got along and have disliked each other since.
you sat down next to cormac as usual. a plate appeared in front of you, and you began to put bits of breakfast onto the plate. "remember to watch what you eat," he dug a hand into your thigh which caused you to lightly whimper as his nails etched into your skin.
"yes," you looked down at the plate, hardly enough for a baby yet alone a growing teenage girl. you began eating some fruit - filling yet good and cormac always appreciated you eating
'healthy' even though you couldn't give a fuck less what he liked, you would eat whatever when you were alone without him.
you finished and gazed around the hall, your eyes landing onto mattheos again. you sent him daggers, and he rolled his eyes before speaking to his friends.
"i need to go to the bathroom," you leaned into cormac's side. he nodded and you left the hall.
you walked down the hall and to the girl's bathroom, you looked into the mirror, noticing your makeup was slightly smudged and you could see the bruising.
"shit," you panicked, you looked through your bag for some powder and concealer, oblivious to mattheo who just entered the bathroom.
"who did this to you?" you heard a voice say and you jumped, dropping your concealer.
"fucking hell mattheo, do you know how expensive that shit is?" you picked up the concealer, forgetting momentarily about the clear bruise on your face.
"answer the question. who did this to you?" he took a step closer to you.
"no one," you said, it was hardly above a whisper though. you could feel tears well up in your eyes as mattheo observed your face.
"i'll fucking kill him," without a second to spare mattheo turned around and made his way back to the hall.
you followed, quick on his trail. "mattheo, please, don't," you tried to grab onto his arm.
"no - he fucking hurt you! why should he get away with that?!" mattheo was clearly angry, both at himself and cormac.
you didn't say anything and let go of his arm, looking down at the ground. you wanted mattheo to batter the shit out of cormac, but some part of you didn't want to see the guy you were dating get punched to death.
"i'll keep you safe," mattheo's hand reached for your chin, pushing it up slightly so you were looking up at him. "i won't let anyone ever hurt you again."
âăă»ă. ă»Â°ă⌠ă°㻠. ăă»ăâ
#mattheo x you#mattheoxreader#mattheo x y/n#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle#slytherin#slytherin boys#fanfic
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Sneak peak⊠to the request of a playboy reader and nerd OC⊠degradation, bottom male reader, reader is mentioned to have a cockâa bit dubcon and feminization
âŠ..
âCâmon~ youâre that scared?â
You stared at the boy across from you on the bed. He was biting at his lip, fiddling with something behind his back. You couldnât help but smirk. Ah, shy nerds.
They were your favorite. Easy targets for some great sex.
They were always so loud but then get so shy after hearing themselves.
And this guy⊠Yubin, he looked like the perfect target.
His doe like eyes moved up to yours. His shaggy mullet like hair was honestly cute on him. But it helped he was just naturally a bit cute.
Yubin pursed his lips. You hummed and stood up, noticing once moreâthat he was shorter than you. He only reached your shoulder. You moved over to his side of the bed, reaching over to grab his shoulder.
âDonât worry~ Iâll be gentle with you.â
Yubin glanced up at you and his face contorted into something akin of laughter as a dry laugh left his plump lips.
Suddenly, you were on the bed and your hands were tied to the banister. You panicked, pulling at it in fear as you looked up at Yubin who was sitting on top of you.
â5 seconds⊠that was faster than before. Iâm getting good.â
A cruel smirk was on his lips as he leaned back a bit, staring down at you with an odd look of disgust.
âA shame youâre not as buff as I wanted you to be⊠my past lover, gosh, he was so beautiful.. he had great tits.â
Yubin reached down and grasped your chest, frowning when there wasnât much to grab. He huffed and pulled away. You just honestly couldnât believe you were being manhandled by a guy smaller than you.
âWhat the hell, Yubin?!â
âWhat? Weâre having sex. Itâs why you were even talking to me for the best few days, wasnât it?â
You gulp, feeling a bit guilty. He wasnât wrong. You never paid him any mind during class until you realized you had fucked a lot of people in the class except him.
Didnât help your friends didnât believe you could fuck him.
âWell, not sure if you know this, but I donât let dicks near my ass.â
âWhy? Havenât found a cock big enough for your butt?â He reached over and grasped your ass, humming in delight. âWow, glad something about you is big.â
You didnât know whether to be insulted or appreciative.
âNot like youâre big at all. What, have a kink for men bigger than you?â
Yubin simply smirked. He got up from on top of you and walked over to his backpack. He pulled out a few toys, many being something to spank you with.
Gosh, was he into spanking?
âIâll be nice.. which one do you want to you?â
He held up a rod, blindfold, and a vibrator.
You did not want to deal with any pain at the moment and the fear of not being able to see what he was doing scared you. So you eagerly pointed at the vibrator.
Yubin hummed and placed the rejected items in his bag. He walked over to you and sat back down on top of you, this time right on top of your cock. You, a bit too far in your ways of being a slut, thrusted upwards a bit.
You expected him to moan or maybe whimper a bit and show off his cute side. But he looked at you as if you were a cockroach.
âEw.â
You felt your heart shatter.
Ew?!
While you mentally cried over your first ever âewââYubin was pulling your shirt up. He still seemed pretty disappointed you werenât as muscular as he thought you were.
âWâŠwhat are you into? Power bottom shit?â
âYou really keep thinking youâll put that small dick of yours in my butt.â
âWell⊠yeah! Any boy I fuck, even ones who thought theyâd just be tops, loved my cock!â You boast, a grin on your lips. âI donât mind letting you be on top, baby~ Iâll just show you how good my cock feels.â
Yubin stared down at you. âBut⊠Iâm bigger.â
You laughed. âYou? Bigger than me? Iâm literally 6 inches hard.â
You heard the sound of pants being pulled down as you watched Yubin get undressed. He pulled down his boxers and the only thing to come out your mouth was a whimper.
Holy fuck.
He was 8 inches⊠flaccid!!!
Yubin grinned as he began laughing at your shocked face.
âI love fucking guys bigger than me and putting them into their place.. usually I prefer guys that donât fight back.. but I think thisâll be fun.â
You could watch as he moved up a bit and tapped your lips with the tip of his cock.
âNow start sucking, baby~ A slut like you shouldâve sucked a few times.â
You wanted to punch but him but much to your own shock, you slowly parted your lips. He was surprisingly gentle as he slowly moved his cock inside your mouth. Huh, guess he didnât want to actually hurt you.
Physically that is. He had no problem degrading you.
You winced as Yubin grabbed your hair and held it tightly, keeping your head steady.
âYou mightâve been thinking this night was supposed to have me screaming.. but tonight, slut, itâll be you screaming my name. You better sound like music to my ears or Iâll silent you like the bitch you are.â
Yubin stared at you for a moment, a cruel smirk on his lips before he sighed. âPinch me twice whenever you wanna stop.â
You hummed, a bit happy he wasnât being totally cruel.
âNow⊠with that out of the way, suck.â
âLetâs see if youâll become my new housewife, Noona~â
Now for the actual fic.. it might be a bit edited when it comes to this part lol but itâs just a draft on whatâs going to happen⊠hope that makes sense lmao.. Yubin lovers will also know who his past lover was <3
Tag list: @ofclyde @tomoeroi @nakedtoasterr @iwishtobeacrow @the-ultimate-librarian @chill-guy-but-cooler @kiiyoooo @mello-life69 @smellwell @tehyunnie @remdayz @kaedezu
Noona: title for older sister or older close femaleâcan be viewed as romantic. Only males call an older woman Noonaâsimilar to Oppa.
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swapped! (todoroki x reader)
summary: after you get hit with a strange quirk, you swap bodies with your long time crush and hero partner todoroki shouto. somehow, every single thing that could possibly go wrong goes wrong and chaos ensues. idea dump here
genre/content warnings: afab reader, reader has some sort of telekinesis quirk for plot efficiency (i got lazy sorry), suggestive, periods, reader is implied to have a heavy flow but it's really just for the plot to ensure maximal crack, mentions of blood, swearing, fluff, crack, todoroki is a little shit (when is he not)
wc: 5.9k (oopsies this is my longest fic to date)
note: this is for @andypantsx3's pretty boy summer collab! (sorry it's late andie) it is also one of my sponsored fics for @ficsforgaza's fundraiser! i couldn't fit all the scenes i wanted into the fic without ruining the flow, so go check them out and sponsor them if you want to read more! also everyone needs to go say thank you to @thelov3lybookworm for giving me the push i needed to stop making excuses and find solutions so i could post. thanks girl <3
i'm not sure how i feel about the ending, but i think it's as good as it's going to get! since i haven't written in a little while and things have been tough, likes, reblogs, and comments would be so so appreciated, and will help me get the next fic on my list done faster!!!
blog navigation | bhna masterlist | extras!
The first thing you notice when you finally emerge from the depths of your slumber is how comfortable you were. Everything feels just right, your pillows are cool against your neck, and your sheets hold the perfect amount of warmth; enough to keep you cozy, but not so hot that your sweat is creasing the silky sheets and making you feel sticky and gross.
The second thing you notice is the very large, very male hand sprawled on the pillow next to your head. A deep male voice lets out a surprised cry as you jerk back, the hand moving with you.. It takes you several moments to realize that it had come from you.Â
Your bare feet thump against the wood paneled floor as you stumble out of bed disoriented and realize where you are for the first time. Namely, not in your bedroom.
Glancing around in confusion, you wonder what the hell happened, and how you ended up somewhere so nice.. The space itself is fairly bare, but you can tell that all of the furniture inhabiting it is expensive. From the sleek wooden dresser to the geometric modern light fixtures to the insanely high thread count of the sheets, everything screams tasteful luxury.Â
Where are you? You definitely feel asleep in your own bedroom. Reaching up you rake your hair out of your face and freeze. Instead of the familiar texture and length of your own hair, youâre greeted with short, silky soft strands that definitely did not belong to you.
Mussing your hair to make sure youâre not imagining things, you glance down, and for the first time notice some inexplicable things.For one, the ground is a lot farther away than it normally is, and for two, last time you checked you did not have washboard abs, or a male anatomy.
The entire situation was confusing, and you were still slightly sleep-addled. Despite that you knew that you needed to find a mirror. A quick glance around the room located one in the corner and you hurry over to it.Â
Sliding to a stop you grip the edges of the little stand, frost spreading from your right hand to cover the wood while you gaped at your appearance.
Intense heterochromatic eyes stared back at you, shock filling them. Your hair was a unique mess of red and white strands, the two colors mussed with sleep. With those distinctive features, plus high chiseled cheekbones, a jawline that could cut stone and a slim yet unfairly muscular body there was no doubt about it.
You were Todoroki Shouto. At least, thatâs whose body youâre currently inhabiting. His very shirtless body.Â
BZZZZZT BZZZZZZT
Saved from having to fight your urges to poke at his abs by the noise, you jump, swinging your gaze around in search of the origin.
BZZZZZZT BZZZZZZT
A simple black phone flashes on the otherwise empty nightstand (does he seriously not even have a lamp??), the caller i.d. sending you scrambling across the room to the phone.Â
Fumbling in your haste, you manage to swipe and pick up the incoming call from your cell phone.
Your mind is racing a mile a minute. There were only two ways to get into your phone. The first was the password, but even you forgot it most of the time. It sat safely tucked away on a post it in the safe you store all of your important documents in. The second was through face i.d. and the only person who could unlock your phone with their face was you. And since you were in his body, it wouldnât be unreasonable to assume that heâŠ.Lifting the phone to your ear you speak hesitantly.
âTodoroki? Is that you?â
âY/N?â
It was unnerving to hear your voice saying your name from the other end of the phone,
âWhat happened?!â Youâre a little mortified to hear the hysteria lacing your words, but you can feel the panicked adrenaline flooding your veins as your body goes into fight or flight.
âI believe that the quirk we got hit with yesterday caused us to switch bodies. However, it is highly unlikely that it is permanent so it will be fine.â Even though itâs your voice, something about knowing Todoroki is on the other end was reassuring enough that some of the tension bled from your shoulders.
âThatâs good.â You sigh, rubbing your face. Thereâs a mildly uncomfortable throbbing coming from your lower half, and you absentmindedly reach down to rub at it, forgetting you werenât in your own body. Brushing against a bump in your gray sweatpants, you shiver as a familiar feeling spreads through your lower stomach and something twitches.
âTodoroki?â Your voice suddenly gets a little higher, the hint of hysteria from before returning to the normally deep monotone. âWe have a problem.â
âWhat is it? Is something wrong?âÂ
Ignoring his questions, you stare in growing horror at the very obvious tent in the front of the sweatpants you were wearing. You have no idea how you didnât notice it earlier, but now that youâve seen whatâs going on down there you canât help but be extremely aware of the uncomfortable pressure.Â
âY/N? Please explain whatâs going on. Iâm growing concerned.â
âI-â You splutter, unable to form a coherent sentence. Finally you gather your wits enough to say something. âItâs uh, itâs hard.â
âWhat do you mean? Whatâs hard? Oh...â He trails off into embarrassed silence.
âOH?â You canât handle this. âWhat do you mean âoh?!â Do something!â
âLike what?â He sounds a little defensive. âWhat am I supposed to do from here?â
âI donât know!â Youâre shouting now. âBut you have to do something! How am I supposed to sit here with your massive boner?!â
Thereâs a loud crash on the other end of the phone, and you jump. âWhat was that?â
âNothing.â He answers a little too quickly, but his voice still retains his usual impassivity. âAnyways, returning to the problem at hand. It will go away on its own after a little while. Unless you would rather handle it yourself-â
âNo!â You wince as you practically shout into the phone. âI mean, no it's okay. I feel like that would be unprofessional.â
You can hear the amusement in his voice as he responds. âI feel like this entire situation is rather unprofessional. After all, I did see your breasts this morning.â
There must be something wrong with your hearing because thereâs no way he just said what you thought he did. In such a nonchalant manner at that. âWha-What?â Embarrassingly your voice cracks as you rack your brain, frantically searching through your memories of the night before. Then it hits you.Â
âYou went to bed without pants, a shirt, and a bra last night.â He informs you matter of factly, and you must be going crazy because thereâs no way that thatâs smugness youâre picking up from him. âJudging from the temperature of your apartment Iâd say that your air conditioning is broken. You should probably get that fixed.â
Youâve completely forgotten about the boner youâre currently sporting due to the mortification of it all. Of course the one time the two of you switch bodies it just has to be the day your AC broke and you went to bed in nothing but a pair of striped cotton undies.
A small part of you mourns that you werenât wearing something sexier, but the larger part of you is screaming that he is your boss. Sure youâve been friends for years, and you have a not so little crush on him, but you are his subordinate. This was going to make things so awkward in the office. Hopefully once this is all over you can go hunt someone with a memory erasing quirk down to wipe his mind. But maybe not yours. You kind of want to remember the toned planes of his abs and the impressive bulge in his sweats.Â
Giving yourself a shake you chastise your internal voice. Absolutely not. That would be an invasion of his privacy. In fact, you should put on a shirt right this second to respect his privacy, not that he didnât walk around with half of his hero suit burned off from time to time. Wait. A thought suddenly occurs to you.
âWait. You have a shirt on now, right? You put on a shirt before calling me.â You laugh nervously, because of course he has more common sense than that. Itâs not like he would just sit on the phone with you while your tits were hanging out, right? Right??
âWell no.â Your heart falls out of your ass and you accidentally sear a handprint into the edge of his nightstand at his casual answer. âItâs uncomfortably warm in here and without the use of my quirk I am unable to regulate my body's temperature. Aside from that, I donât know where you keep your shirts so I prioritized calling you to discuss the situation over going through your personal belongings.
That all sounds perfectly reasonable and you would have fallen for it except for one little thing. âTodoroki. I know for a fact that I was too lazy to put my laundry away yesterday and there is a stack of clean t-shirts sitting on the end of my bed right now.âÂ
You hear rustling -is he still in your bed?!- as he leans forwards to check. âOh. Youâre correct. My apologies.â Thereâs more rustling and the sound of fabric sliding over skin as he pulls a t-shirt over his head. âItâs on now.â
âThank you.â You pointedly ignore the fact that he did not sound the tiniest bit apologetic, filing it away to revisit later. For now, the two of you need to discuss what to do next. âI appreciate it. Whatâs the plan now though? I think we should meet at the agency as soon as possible and go from there.âÂ
âI agree.â He seems to lack the sense of urgency currently consuming you as he hums in agreement. Itâs incredibly annoying. âWe should probably give each other directions on what to do, and where to find the things we need.â
On second thought maybe itâs better that heâs calm and thinking clearly because that was an excellent idea. âThatâs smart. I keep a pad of paper and a pen on my nightstand to jot down reminders if you want to use that. Where do you keep your paper?â
âCheck my bookshelf.â The telltale sound of paper flipping told you that he found the notepad as you crossed the room and stopped in front of the simple wooden bookcase. âWhere is it on your bookshelf?â
âI think I keep a notebook and a pad of paper on the middle shelf.â He sounds distracted and a little uncertain, but when you stoop down to check (itâs weird being this tall) you find a simple yellow legal pad and a black pen. âI got it.âÂ
âOkay.â The sound of a book closing accompanies his words and thereâs a hint of some unidentifiable emotion lacing the two-syllables.Â
Not thinking much of it you shrug it off, sitting down down at his desk and listening as he tells you where keeps his car keys, hero suit, and other necessities. You ask a few follow up questions, jotting down what cabinet he keeps his cologne and deodorant in, before launching into your own instructions.
âThe first thing you need to do is start the coffee machine. Trust me. My body will not be happy unless you give it at least three cups of coffee or like two big energy drinks before 9 am. NextâŠâ After youâre sure he has understood the importance of caffeine, you move on, explaining where you keep your clothes, car keys, and shoes, as well as where you parked your car.Â
âDonât worry about makeup or hair products or anything while youâre getting me ready. I know thereâs a lot on my bathroom counter but itâs not necessary. But you do need to go into the first drawer on your left when youâre standing at the sink and grab my anxiety meds. They should be in an orange prescription bottle. Only take one. And please for the love of god do not forget to put a bra on. You got all that?â
âI believe so. Is there a specific outfit you want me to wear or should I just choose?â You stop and think. Left to his own devices thereâs no knowing what he might put you in (his first hero costume proof of his abysmal sense of fashion) so it would be best to give him some guidance. âCould you just wear a casual sweater and some jeans?âÂ
âYes. Letâs get ready and meet at the agency in about an hour. If that works for you.â Thereâs not much writing on the yellow legal pad, the black scrawl of your handwriting barely taking up half a page. Okay. It isnât that much. You can do this. âThat sounds good to me.â
âOh, I also think it might be best if we kept this from the general employees at the agency for the time being just to reduce drama. Is that okay with you?âÂ
âOf course.â More than okay actually. Some of them were aware of your not-so-little crush on him, so it would spare you some teasing and interrogation.
Thereâs a couple seconds of awkward silence, and you get the feeling he wants to say something more, the tension crackling through the speaker of his stupidly expensive phone. Opening your mouth, you start to say something then realize you donât really have anything to say. The awkward silence persists a couple seconds longer before he wishes you goodbye and hangs up.
Click. Click. Click. Clickclickclickclickclickclickclick. You didnât even realize that you had started clicking the pen open and closed, a nervous habit of yours. Sheepishly you place the pen down on his desk and stand. Sure the vibes were kind of weird at the end there, but itâs not like anything worth making you nervous happened. The situation might not be ideal, but it wasnât the biggest deal in the world. You could handle it. The worst part was already over. You just had to meet him at the agency, figure out what to do with the rest of the day, and wake up in your own body tomorrow. Piece of cake.
Gaping in horror, you realize that this was not, in fact, going to be a piece of cake.Â
Getting ready had been easy enough so you had arrived at the agency a few minutes before your agreed meeting time, which fortunately/unfortunately put you in the perfect position to witness the walking shitshow.
You had been idly sipping at a cup of coffee, marveling at how many packets of sugar it had taken to make it acceptable to his taste buds when he staggered in, catching the eye of pretty much everyone in the lobby.
Hunched over weirdly, he staggered in, wearing a pair of jeans that rode just a little too low to be professional and a very white, very sheer shirt that was meant to be layered over an undershirt. Or, at the very least, with a sturdy, modest bra underneath.
Alas, you can only stare in abject horror at the sight of what everyone else would assume was you stumbling in, your nipples visible from across the room, the bra that should have been on your body clasped in one hand.Â
Youâre pretty sure you disassociated for a few seconds from sheer mortification, standing there unmoving for several seconds. Once you had processed (and gone through the seven stages of grief multiple times) you were bolting across the floor, seizing his (your?) arm and dragging him down the hall and into the family bathroom where no one could see.
Slamming the door shut behind you, you shove Todoroki/yourself into the small space, wincing as you watch him stumble in your body. Did you always seem this weak and small in his eyes? The sound of the lock clicking as you shut the door reminds you of the current situation and you turn on him, rage emanating from every pore of your being.
âI. Thought. I. Told. You. To. Put. On. A. Bra.â Youâre hurt, and seriously pissed off, neatly trimmed nails digging into your thighs as you grip your pants. Humiliation courses through your body, pulsing behind your eyes in tears that you will not let fall, no matter what. âIs this some kind of joke? Are you trying to embarrass me-â
âNo.â Itâs disconcerting watching yourself speak and move, but subtle mannerisms remind you that itâs Todoroki youâre looking at, not yourself in the mirror. âI wouldnât do that to you, I swear.â
âThen what is this?â You wave your hand at your body, flinching at what others must be whispering about you. âDo you want people to think Iâm some sort of crazy person who goes around practically flashing people at their workplace? Someone who has no sense of decency?â
âOf course not.â His tone is as even as ever, but you can tell that he feels bad. âPeople here know what type of person you are. Iâm sure theyâre more concerned than anything.â
The fabric of his blue hero suit unscrunches as your hands drop to your sides, chest heaving as you take a deep breath. âI hope so.â
Thereâs vulnerability in your voice, and for a second you find peace in the quiet of the moment before he ruins it. âBesides, Iâm more worried about my reputation than yours right now.â
You look up indignantly. âWhy? I did everything you asked, and Iâm fully dressed so Iâm not sure why youâre complaining.â
He winces as your voice raises (maybe the coffee hasnât kicked in yet) but he hides it quickly. âI mean, from their point of view, they just watched me forcibly drag my subordinate off and locked myself in a bathroom with her. They probably have all sorts of unseemly ideas about what Iâm doing right now.â
You freeze. Shit. You hadnât even considered what it would look like to the others. âIâm so sorry. We can explain this to everyone. Like you told me, everyone here also knows you, and that you would never do anything inappropriate.âÂ
âItâs fine.â He gives you a genuine, yet slightly strained smile. âIâm not too concerned. However, your body doesnât feel great.â
âWhatâs wrong?â You reach out and touch his forehead. âYou donât have a fever.â Glancing down, you sigh. âFirst things first let's make you decent. You literally brought the bra. Why arenât you wearing it?â
âThe best way I can describe it is itâs similar to the time I accidentally ate Bakugouâs extra spicy curry, except itâs not in my stomach. Itâs more in my abdomen. And I meant to wear it, I just couldnât figure out how to get it on.â
âOkay. I can help with that.â You motion for him to lift his arms. âTake off your shirt.â
He lifts an eyebrow. âIs now really the time?â The bathroom is silent as you give him a death look. âItâs my body. There is quite literally nothing about the body you are currently inhabiting that I do not already know about. Now, shirt. Iâll help put the bra on.â
Understanding that you were not in the mood, he hurriedly pulls the shirt off, and youâre presented with the sight of your bare torso. Ignoring the strange intimacy of the moment (it was literally your own body you had no idea why you felt weird) you help him slip his arms into the straps, then motion for him to turn around.Â
He complies, and thatâs when you see it. The relatively small, but somewhat noticeable stain on your crotch in the back of your pants. Thatâs why he wasnât feeling good. Your body started your period.
The clasp of the bra dangles in your hands as you stare at it, evaluating your choices. One. You could pretend like nothing is happening but chances are heâs going to have to pee at some point during the day so heâll find out eventually. Plus the stain wasnât small.
Two. Be the mature, rational adult you are and calmly explain the situation. After all, there was nothing to be ashamed of. Itâs a perfectly normal, perfectly natural, biological function that comes with being a female.
And three. Just leave and go crawl into your bed until this nightmare is over. Let him deal with it himself.Â
Option number three was looking pretty good there for a moment and you were calculating how fast you could escape the agency without drawing attention when Todoroki spoke.Â
âEverything okay? Why arenât you doing the hook things?â Snapping out of your trance, you clumsily clasp the back, taking several tries to get all the hooks in the same row. Patting it, you tell him to put the shirt back on before taking a deep breath. âHey, Todoroki?â
Wisps of hair emerge from the neckline of your shirt, followed closely by your head as he pops into your shirt. âYes?â
âSo like, itâs going to be okay and I swear Iâll help you and Iâm sorry you have to deal with this but please whatever you do, donât freak out. Promise?â He tilts his head slightly, regarding you with confusion. âI donât know what youâre talking about, but if you say itâll be okay I donât see why I would feel the need to freak out.â
His calm response puts you somewhat at ease, and you just rip the bandaid off. âMy body just started itâs period. With you in it. Thatâs why your abdomen was hurting. It was period cramps. Donât worry, Iâll get you some advil soon. Thereâs a small stain on the back of your pants, but itâs not bad yet. However, itâs really heavy on my first day so weâre going to need to get a tampon in and a pad on asap.â
A blank stare is your only response. âWhatâŠis a tampon? And what does heavy mean? Also, does it always hurt this bad?â A small furrow appears between his brows, and you can tell heâs overthinking.
âNormally itâs only this bad for a few days, but Iâm used to it by now.â You reassure him, grabbing a tampon and pad from the free dispenser on the wall. âAnd to answer your question, a tampon is basically a fancy roll of material that goes up there and absorbs the blood.â
Youâre doing your best to remain calm and unbothered on the outside, but on the inside youâre losing your mind because there was absolutely no way that you were about to teach your crush how to insert a tampon into your cooch because you managed to swap bodies on the worst possible day.
He looks at you pensively as you approach him with the hygiene products. âOkay. What do you want me to do?â
You pause, considering. How did you want to do this? It would be weird for you to put it in yourself, even if it was your body. The packaging crinkles in your hands as you turn the items over in your hand. The easiest route would be to have him just put the pad on, but you also didnât want him to deal with the mess and discomfort of sitting in a pad.Â
âAlright.â You clap your hands, the sharp sound echoing off the clean linoleum floors. âWeâll get a pad on first, then weâll try the tampon. Ready?â
âYes. How do I do that?â Okay. You can explain this. Itâs not that complicated. âFirst things first, pull down your pants and underwear and sit on the toilet.â
A rustle of clothing and the click of the toilet seat against the porcelain bowl told you he had complied. âWait, but like, donât look okay. Keep your eyes averted.â
âUnderstood.â You choose to ignore the amusement in his voice, instead grabbing another pad and giving him a demo. Feeling guilty about the waste, you rip open one of the packages and pull out the pad. Itâs thick, and made of cheap material like all free pads in public bathrooms tended to be.
Holding it up so he can see you demonstrate peeling the tab and unfolding it before peeling the sticky back off and showing it to him.Â
âBasically you just have to remove the covering and stick it to the bottom of your underwear. Make sense?â
He nods, so you pass him the pad and watch him carefully peel back the appropriate backings and smooth it into the center of your panties. His eyes gleam at you hopefully as he looks up, and when you tell him he did a good job you could have sworn he preened.Â
âGood job Todoroki.â A subtle frown pulls at his lips. âSo for the tampon-â
âShouto.â He cuts you off, looking disgruntled. âCall me Shouto.â
âI-What?â Thrown off guard by the sudden demand request you blink at him. âI donât see how thatâs relevant to whatâs going on right now, but youâre my boss. It doesnât seem right for me to address you so casually.â
âBut you call me Shouto while weâre at work.â He stubbornly refuses to give the point up, clinging to it like a dog with their chew toy. âHow is it any different?â
âBecause-â You give him an exasperated look. âSome idiot decided to make his hero name his first name, so when heâs at work his co-workers are forced to use it. I donât call you Shouto as in Todoroki Shouto. I call you Shouto as in Pro-Hero Shouto. Thatâs the difference.â
âBut weâve known each other for years.â Heâs very matter of fact, clearly missing the point. âI would say weâre close enough for first names.â
Heâs unbelievable. Of all the things to focus on right now why on earth is he choosing to argue over how you address him? âOf course weâre close. I consider you a good friend. But I wouldnât say weâre close enough where itâs appropriate for me to address you by your first name when youâre my boss.â
âIâm currently in a bathroom with you right now, in your body, sitting on a toilet with no pants, on your period. I donât see how we can possibly get any closer.â He had a point, and you just wanted to get this whole disaster sorted out as quickly as possible so you conceded. âFine. Shouto. Now, will you please listen to me so we can get this over with and go on with our day?â
Using demonstrative hand motions and trying not to show how flustered you were you explained how to put the tampon in. Finally you finish, and hand him a tampon. He unwraps it, then hunches over in an awkward position trying to see what he was doing.
A red flush crawls up your neck as he quite literally examines your pussy, your insecurities running rampant, thoughts youâve never had before occurring. Like, what if it looks weird? You didnât exactly have a huge frame of reference, and all of your past experiences were horny hookups so you literally had no idea what it looked like from his point of view. He was probably repulsed by it. If everything that already happened hadnât ruined any chance you had with him this was the final nail in the coffin.
A quiet splash cuts through the silence of the bathroom, interrupting your downward spiral. Looking up, you lock eyes with Todoroki, whoâs frozen guiltily on the toilet.
âWhat just happened?â
âI, er, well Iâm not sure.â Your eyes narrow. âWhat was the splash?â
âI did my best.â He sounds defensive. âI had a hard time findingâŠitâŠand itâs not easy to line it up and I think I did it wrong because as soon as I put it in it kind of justâŠspat it back out?â
Gaping at him, youâre at a loss for words before a loud, unflattering cackle rips itself out of your chest. The self-consciousness caused by the strangeness of the moment and being in the presence of your crush fading away as you reverted to treating him like you did in high school.
âOh-Oh my god!â Youâre doubled over, almost crying with how hard youâre laughing. âYou canât find it. You canât even find the hole. You must be so popular with the ladies.â
As you laugh, a strange sensation builds in your stomach, and next thing you know it feels like youâre getting sucked into a vacuum and shot out the other end. Your vision goes black and fuzzy, the fluorescent lighting of the bathroom hurting your eyes when you finally open them.
When you finally open them and find yourself staring into the unimpressed face of one Todoroki Shouto that is.Â
Seeing his face again instead of staring at yours is a relief, but itâs also unfortunate because now you are the one perched on the toilet, your pants hanging around your ankles and a tampon floating around in the toilet water beneath you.Â
The two of you lock eyes, and you realize that now youâve both returned to your own bodies itâs even worse that heâs seeing you half naked (donât ask you why it just is somehow. Maybe it has something to do with him seeing it from his point of view instead of yours?).Â
Embarrassment floods your face, and you yell at him to turn around, hurriedly grabbing another tampon and putting it in before using your quirk to retrieve the tampon from the toilet and dumping it into the trash. A rushed tug has your pants back on, and the two of you stand in the bathroom not moving or speaking. Finally you break the silence.
âUh, well, anyways. Iâm glad this all worked out, sorry for the inconvenience and how weird it was. Iâm going to head home and enjoy my day off now. Have a nice day!â
Not giving him the chance to respond, you dart past him and out the door, ignoring him as he calls your name. Yeah right. Have a nice day? More like have a nice life. There was no way you could ever show your face around him again. Maybe you could call Kyoka up and ask her if she needed a new hero at the agency she shared with Denki.
Unfortunately, life doesnât always go as planned, and you wake up the next morning to your phone buzzing. You called in sick the night before, partially because your cramps were really bothering you, and partially because you were avoiding Todoroki.Â
Blearily, you roll over, pawing at your phone before lifting it to your ear. âHello?â
âGood morning.â Immediately recognizing the smooth, deep voice belonging to none other than the one man you were actively trying to avoid, you do the only logical thing and hang up immediately.Â
A couple seconds later your phone rings again, and this time you let it go to voicemail. The sharp trill of your ringtone reaches you through the pillow you pressed over your head, alerting you that he called several more times after that. Finally the calls stop, and you emerge from under the pillows, beating back the strange sense of disappointment rising in your chest.
Ping!
The sound of your phone chiming startles you, causing you to drop it. Picking it back up, you check your notifications with bated breath.
(1) New Message From: Todoroki Shouto
Scared to read the message, you hesitate to click on it, having no idea what to expect. Your thumb hovers over the banner, the light washing over your skin as you work up the courage to check it.
Ping!
Your phone lands on your carpet with a plop as you accidentally drop it over the edge of your bed, not expecting it to go off again.
Ping! Ping!
Cautiously, you poke your head over the edge of your bed, glancing down at the illuminated lock screen. You let out an internal screech of horror.
(4) New Messages From: Todoroki Shouto
Unable to deal with the agony of not knowing what he said any longer, you scoop your phone up and tap the notification, scanning the messages, your heart dropping further and further the more you read.
Todoroki Shouto: Did you just hang up on me?
Iâll be at your place in fifteen minutes. Do you want anything?
*image attached*
Also: are these the chocolates youâre fond of? I asked my mother and sister and they told me they enjoy chocolate when they are menstruating.Â
Those are, in fact, your favorite chocolates, but as much as you wanted them you wanted him at your apartment in fifteen minutes even less. The sound of aggressive tapping filled your room as you typed out a response at breakneck speed, praying to whatever was out there that he wouldnât actually come to your place.
You: Good morning Todoroki-San. Iâm so sorry. I didnât realize it was you and hung up because I was half asleep. Itâs sweet of you to think of me, but those are expensive. Also, Iâm taking the day off today so is there any possible way the matter you have to discuss could wait until tomorrow? Thanks!
A couple seconds after you hit send, the little label beneath the message changed from âdeliveredâ to âread.â Then radio silence. Anxiety bubbles up in the pit of your stomach? What does read mean? Did he agree with you? Is he still coming? Too drained to deal with the emotional turmoil this was causing you, you rolled over and pulled your covers up over your head. This was a problem for future you.
Drifting off, you were awakened a short time later by your phone chiming once, then again a few minutes later, and the sound of your doorbell ringing. Surely it wasnâtâŠHalf-closing your eyes to shield against the harsh glow of your phone, you unlock it.
(2) New Messages From: Todoroki Shouto
Todoroki Shouto: Iâm here. Open your door.
I didnât want to tell you over text, but you arenât responding. Bakugou says I have romantic feelings for you and I think he is correct. He also said youâve been âa mooney-eyed moronâ for me since we were in high school. If that is true and you do feel the same way, please let me in. I would like to see you and care for you while you are on your cycle.
Three dots appear, signaling that heâs typing. A couple seconds later, your phone chimes again, not even giving you a moment to process the previous messages.
Todoroki Shouto: Our former classmates also unanimously agreed that I am, in fact, popular with the ladies. Iâll forgive your comment if you let me in. The old lady who lives next door to you is giving me suspicious looks.Â
You blink. Rub your eyes. Squint closer at your screen. The words didnât change, and neither did their meaning. And Todoroki wasnât the type of person to joke around like this. Your mouth suddenly felt dry, and your pulse thundered in your ears as you realized there was only one thing left to do.
You had to get out of bed and let him into your apartment.
taglist: @arlerts-angel @ponderingmoonlight @sunaraii @hotvinimon
as always, please please please let me know if you want to be added to or removed from any of my taglists. tysm for reading, and i hope you enjoyed it!!
#lee's brain writes#prettyboysummercollab#fics for gaza#todoroki x reader#todoroki shouto x reader#todoroki shouto#shouto x reader#todoroki shouto x you#todoroki x y/n#todoroki x afab! reader#todoroki x afab reader#bhna x reader#bhna fanfiction#bhna crack fic#bhna fluff#todoroki shouto fluff#todoroki shouto crack fic
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Hello :) please could I request love at first sight headcanons for Kenshi, Syzoth, Johnny and Liu Kang đđ
ofcccc love
kenshi, syzoth, johnny, liu kang > love at first sight
uh oh, the boys are smitten ;))
notes: you're a monk/trainer/idfk at the wu shi academy, so that's where they meet you for the first time! also pretend syzoth didnt have a wife and kids up until like 30 minutes before u guys meet LMFAOMFOMAF
masterlist <3
âĄ
kenshi >
kenshi kept mostly to himself, given his motivations for fighting in the tournament in the first place. of course, he'd get into the occasional spitting match with the actor that held his sword hostage as well. but something about you made his work feel unimportant.
he wouldn't make himself known to you for quite some time, but he caught your eye during the introductions when he arrived at the academy. you stood beside liu kang as his second in command, posture perfect and eyes forward. you were a trained individual, and kenshi couldn't help but be fully enamored.
you embodied everything kenshi aspired to be, and he was torn between wishing you two would spend more time together, to wishing you'd kick the shit out of him. maybe both?
"i come requesting for a sparring partner," kenshi explains, eyes transfixed on your perfect form. he had to avert his gaze to the ground as he bowed, lest he fall victim to your beauty. "i was hoping for some advice and feedback."
you agree, considering it's your job. and so, you begin setting up the environment for a spar. the floor is cleared and you roll up your sleeves, taking your personal fighting stance. kenshi almost forgot to ready himself when you charged at him.
you were objectively a better fighter than him, sword or otherwise. his blows were easily parried and his punches were matched with kicks. and sure, he had a crush now, but when you stood over him with your hands on your hips, something stronger blossomed. he felt his face become hot as he laid flat on his back between your legs.
then, he smirked with a newfound confidence. now or never, tattoo.
"perhaps we should spar more often, if this is the outcome," he'd slyly remark.
his comment earned him a week of scrubbing floors, but he doesn't regret it, no matter how hard johnny and lao pointed and laughed. and neither do you.
âĄ
syzoth >
he fought like hell to get out of outworld, freed from the shackles of shang tsung's imprisonment. when the portal behind everyone closed, syzoth stood awkwardly alongside ashrah behind the earthrealmers.
"meet the newest players of earthrealm," johnny introduces them to liu kang, though he is already familiar with their existence. he created them, after all.
"syzoth, ashrah, please," liu kang gestures for them to follow him. he needed intel on the situation, and fast. something sinister was brewing.
he leads them into a large room decorated with hourglasses and dragon statues. tables with scattered scrolls, maps, and figurines litter the room. this must be liu kang's workspace.
as syzoth enters the spacious room, he is marveled at the intricacy of the designs. what captures his attention quicker, though, was you. you were sitting in a distant chair, standing upon the group's arrival and taking your spot beside liu kang.
"this is my trusted assistant," liu kang introduces you, and you bow to them respectfully. "please inform them of any useful information regarding shang tsung."
syzoth feels as if life slows down, and his cold blood send a shiver down his spine. his face flushes with a greenish tint, and he already finds himself impossibly infatuated with your appearance. you remind him of an ancient statue, how your beauty deserves to be preserved for all to appreciate. but at the same time, he feels a strong desire to keep you to himself.
you sit across from the zaterran, briefly introducing yourself before diving into the questioning. syzoth, however, can't seem to focus on your words, only your plush lips.
"syzoth," you say, trying to regain his attention that is obviously diverted. "tell me how you fell into shang tsung's imprisonment."
syzoth tries so hard to spill the entire timeline, but his words stumble over each other every time he looks up at you. your eyes are so warm, so inviting, so perfect. he's flustered incredibly quickly. it's so obvious that even ashrah playfully rolls her eyes from a distance.
you make him nervous, and that's really cute.
âĄ
johnny >
johnny walks through the portal with new his fellow chosen ones, taking in the view of the academy. he tunnel visions hard, only focusing on getting adequate information using his phone. that is, until he pans over to the group of monks awaiting his arrival. he stops on you, shamelessly zooming in to get a good view of your face.
"didn't know monks could be so sexy," he'd call out with a smirk, not even putting his phone down for a single second to admire you in person. it's only when kenshi shoves his arm downward that he actually gets a good look at you.
his playboy jokes would die down when he neared you as it was replaced with a warm obsession. you were drop-dead gorgeous. he could score you some roles in movies, you could be the face of perfumes across the globe!
what he felt wasn't like hollywood infatuation. he wanted to know more than what you hid under your robes, which was relatively new to him. he felt the need to grow and change to earn your praise.
he felt little to no shame about this realization. every chance he could, it was an offer to dinner, an offer to visit his sleeping quarters, or him casually dropping he'll be in the secluded hot springs after training, glancing over his shoulder to make sure you heard him.
johnny would make a clear effort to somehow always be in your way, forcing you to interact with him. he'd insist on cleaning your dishes, always be first up for demonstrations, and just so happened to memorize your schedule and "accidentally" bump into you on the gravel paths. it was so abundantly obvious that this man was head over heels, it was kind of embarrassing.
you didn't entertain the actor, honestly. it's not that you didn't like him, it was that he'd A) flirt with a vase if it had nice curves, and B) your duties were more important than a celebrity. or at least, you forced yourself to believe it.
"come on baby, surely you're wondering what kind of punch a hollywood actor packs."
"in your dreams, cage," you'd reply with a smile, knowing damn well you want to take him up on his offer later.
âĄ
liu kang >
he swore to never get entangled with mortals, not after what happened - or rather, didn't happen - with kitana.
liu kang grows out of this infatuation after eons of busywork and dedicates himself to the stability of the timeline. nothing could distract him from his duties.
that is, until he met the New Era you. you were a relatively insignificant part in his life prior to the timeline reset, so he never paid much attention to you or knew you existed. but, this time around, liu kang took some creative liberties and decided to give you a more significant purpose. what he didn't do was see you before this moment.
he was discussing important matters with geras at the wu shi academy, mind only focused on the importance of the hourglass and the absurdity of recent events revolving a somehow resurrected titan. as he circles the sandy display, he glances through the vision and realizes you, one of the monks, is standing in the doorway with seemingly important knowledge to deliver.
liu kang feels his heart flutter, and he places his hand on his chest in mild surprise. his face remains stoic and expressionless, but it's clear that something winded him. geras glances over at the fire god with a knowing look.
"lord liu kang," you say with a quick bow, and liu kang makes a mental note to himself that he may or may not be into titles. "i come bearing news regarding the chosen ones."
liu kang stands there, his bright eyes totally unreadable. his lips open and close, and his tattoos flicker. he doesn't realize just how long he'd been staring and lost in thought. your beauty reminded him of the universe he painted, so elegant and full of life. he doesn't know how he didn't notice you sooner. to him, you were everything he wanted to be right in the world with your gentle features and kind voice.
geras waves a hand in front of him, making him blink and snap back into reality. he clears his throat.
"yes, yes, please," liu kang suddenly adopts a warm, loving tone, one that's more caring than his usual godly silky voice. his old personality shines through, the charming pretty boy attitude he swore to abandon eons ago. "you may enter, my dear. some tea?"
geras makes the observation that he's sweeter to you than most others, but he's going to keep that to himself. for now, he just watches with mild amusement as liu kang prepares a small cup of matcha for you with a smile that travels into his glowing eyes. he witnessed that look before, when he'd see his kitana. but this was new, this was something that could be beautiful if he let himself try.
#mortal kombat#mortal kombat x reader#johnny cage#mk1#johnny cage x reader#syzoth x reader#syzoth#liu kang x reader#liu kang#kenshi takahashi x reader#kenshi takahashi#marley writes â
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HI! CAN I GET A PLATONIC ANGELDUST X READER??
SOO LIKE THE READER IS THIS GLOOMY PIECE OF SHIT AND ANGEL HATES THAT SO HE TRIES TO MAKE THEM FEEL BETTER?? THAMK YOU!!!
GLOOMY .
; pairing ; angel dust + reader (platonic)
; note ; he's so sweet i love my boy
; warnings ; references to depression, despair, and feeling hopeless
you were laying in bed, surrounded by the suffocating darkness of your room in the hotel. groans escaped your lips as you felt the weight of your own gloom pressing down on you like a suffocating blanket. each day seemed to blend into the next, a monotonous cycle of despair and decay.
angel dust couldn't stand seeing you like this. your gloominess grated against himself like nails on a chalkboard. he strutted into your room, uninvited as always, his heels clicking against the floor with an air of exaggerated confidence.
"what the hell is up with you?" angel exclaimed, his cerise-pink eyes scanning the dimly lit room. "you're practically oozing gloom, and it's giving me a fuckin' headache!"
you turned to face him, your expression a mix of annoyance and resignation. "sorry, angel. it's just⊠i don't know. everything feels pointless."
angel rolled his eyes dramatically, flopping down on the edge of your bed with a dramatic sigh. "pointless? honey, you're in hell! everything's fuckin' pointless here, but that doesn't mean you have to mope around like a damn zombie."
you couldn't help but crack a small smile at his theatrics.
"come on, toots," he continued, his voice softer now, laced with genuine concern. "let's get you out of this funk. how about we go grab some drinks downstairs where husk is? i'll even let you pick the cocktails."
you hesitated for a moment, glancing away from angel dust's hopeful gaze. "no, i'm not really in the mood for that. i appreciate the offer, though," you replied, your voice carrying the weight of your persistent melancholy.
angel's expression shifted from optimism to a genuine concern, and for a moment. "hey, come on, don't shut yourself in like this. you're missing out on all the fun, babe."
you sighed, a heavy acknowledgment of your own reluctance. "i just don't feel up to it, angel."
angel dust tilted his head, his fluffy white hair falling to the side. "listen, y/n, i get it. hell can be a real shitshow. but shuttin' yerself away won't make it any betta. sometimes you gotta embrace it, ya know?"
you couldn't help but appreciate his attempt at uplifting you, even if the weight of your gloom persisted. "it's just hard."
angel patted your shoulder, a surprisingly gentle touch beneath his flashy exterior. "you're not alone. we're all a bunch of misfits in this hotel, and we've got each other's backs."
he flashed a crooked grin, attempting to inject some humor into the conversation. "besides, who's gonna keep me entertained if you're not around to shit on everyone with me?"
you chuckled despite yourself, a small crack in the armor of your gloom. "you're impossible."
he winked,. "damn right i am. now, how about we at least crack open a bottle in your room? we don't need husk to have a good time."
#ANGELDUST#angeldust#angel dust#hazbin angel dust#hazbin hotel#hazbin#angel dust x reader#y/n#reader insert#x reader#ask#hazbin hotel velvette
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READ THE FIRST PART HEREÂ
READ PART THREE HERE
Genre: Fluff, a bit angsty but has a happy ending, not explicitly romantic
Summary: Itâs been raining all day, and the gloomy weather has you thinking about what couldâve been, and especially what never will be.
Content/Warnings: Brief mentions of alcohol, brief mention of death/suicide, itâs a little sad, I guess? But thatâs it. Reader just speculates on how life wouldâve been if the Operator hadnât fucked them over and gets down about it, but theres a happy ending.Â
Like my writing? I take requests! NSFW or SFW for any fandoms in my bio (request rules + masterlist in pinned post)!
Also, please reblog! itâs free, takes two seconds, and really helps me outÂ
Feedback is encouraged and appreciated:)
Not fully proofread! Let me know if you see any errors!
Itâs raining again. Not that thatâs new. Springtime out here sees its fair share of storms. Normally youâd observe the rain from inside, but today something inside was gnawing at you for some fresh air.Â
The old rocking chair creaks beneath your weight, moving to and fro softly as you watch the rain. It comes down in sheets off the sides of the cover, splattering to the muddy ground and making a shallow moat around the patio. It lands loudly on the old tin roof, rattling and groaning in a manner that is far too dramatic. It obscures anything beyond the perimeter of the cabin and hides everything in a misty haze.Â
Itâs going to be foggy tomorrow, you think. It usually is when it rains like this. Itâll be cold for the next few days, too, and the ground will be soggy for weeks. Miserable weather, that is. Not that thatâs new.Â
Itâs a good day to wonder, thatâs all. Youâve been doing plenty of that lately. A bit too much, maybe, but thereâs no helping that.Â
Youâve been living out here with Tim forâŠshit. How long has it been? Almost a year, you think, but your perception of time is unreliable at best. Itâs just one of the many things you lost when your world turned upside down.
Thatâs what itâs really about. The loss. Tim doesnât like to talk about it, but you know you both feel it, him even more so than you. He was going to go to college, get a degree, and heâd be damn good at it, too. He was going to find a place of his own, maybe adopt a dog, a big old Saint Bernard like he had when he was a boy, the only type of housemate that wouldnât annoy him. Thatâs what heâs told you, anyways. Not sober, of course, not even close; heâd never tell you anything that personal without at least a bit of alcohol in his system. Heâs been drinking less since you showed up, though. You noticed he was cutting back a couple months after you moved in. You wonder if youâll ever get him to open up like that again.
But those were Timâs plans. He was already in his mid twenties when things really went south, you were barely out of high school when everything started. You didnât really have plans. SoâŠwhat are you mourning, exactly?Â
You donât really have an answer to that.Â
You didnât really have a set path for yourself. Your plan barely existed, and itâs feeble skeleton was little more than an intention to simply float around until something caught your eye. Youâd find your way eventually, there was no need to worry. At least, thatâs what you used to think.Â
Now where do you go?
You didnât have any real plans, no, and you canât mourn something that never existed, but it thereâs this heavy feeling that comes with knowing youâll never be able to choose.Â
Thatâs what it comes down to, you realize. Choice.Â
No, you didnât have any plans, but that was because you had all the options you could ever want. Now, you donât have any plans because youâve only got one.Â
Tim does everything he can to keep you entertained out here. Hell, he risks his life every time he walks down the path to his truck to go to town for you, or when he just steps off the porch to refill the bird feeder he knows you love to watch. Nothing outside of these walls in these woods is safe. If it werenât raining so hard, heâd tear you a new one for even sitting on the porch.Â
Itâs a miserable existence, but itâs so nice to have someone to be miserable with, even if he canât change anything.Â
You just wish that was enough to push away that yearning for more, that subtle thrumming ache that only wells up in your stomach late at night, that want that urges you to just take the truck and leave, to forget this cabin and Tim and everything in these godforsaken woods.Â
But you canât.Â
Youâd die. And even if you didnât, the guilt of stranding Tim would eat you alive, especially knowing heâd kill himself before letting that thing get him.Â
You donât want to think about that. You push the thoughts away before they can take root in your mind. Itâs better to just not consider that possibility at all.Â
You jump when you hear the front door open. You look back to see Tim standing there, one hand buried in his pocket and the other still on the door handle.Â
âThe hell are you doinâ out here?â He huffs, âI been yellinâ for ya, thought you up and ran off.âÂ
You give him a weak smile, but you canât keep it up for very long. You pull your knees to your chest and rest your chin on them, curling up as if trying to make yourself look as small as possible. You mumble an apology, but donât look at him.Â
He pauses, then, and you can imagining his expression changing to confusion and then concern before he covers it up again. His footsteps come up behind you, the wooden porch creaking beneath him. His hand grabs the back of the rocking chair and forces it to still before he pulls it backward to get a look at you.
ââŠWhatâs up with you, kid?âÂ
You shrug. Itâs an easier response than an explanation, but it doesnât satisfy him at all.Â
âCâmon, we both know thatâs bullshit,â He says with a dry chuckle, and heâs entirely correct. âWhatâs goinâ on?â
You sigh, thinking for a moment about your answer.Â
ââŠItâs justâŠI dunno. Do you ever, likeâŠthink about what wouldâve happened if you hadnâtâŠyou knowâŠâ
Itâs a stammering, stumbling attempt at explaining yourself, but he understands. He nods, crossing his arms and leaning back against the house.Â
âYeah, sometimes,â He replies, scratching at his stubble, âBut if Iâm beinâ honest, it ainât gonna do you any good. That sorta thing only gets ya down.â
Heâs right about that, too. If only it were that easy to just stop. Itâs just so hard not to wonder at least every once in a while, itâs human nature. You just wish you knew when to stop. You just wish you were able to ignore the âwhat ifâs that piled up in the back of your mind until they couldnât stand anymore and toppled over into a pathetic mess of rubble. Theyâll crush you one day if you arenât careful, but such an idea seems almost inevitable.Â
âDo you thinkââ You start, but stop short before you can get any further. Tim quirks a brow, and you donât have to look at him to know heâs making that skeptical face.Â
ââŠDo I think what?â He asks.Â
You hesitate to answer. Is this really a question you want to ask? If this starts an argument you wonât be able to take back, will it ruin the comfort you and Tim have finally managed to establish with each other? You canât just not tell him now, though, or youâll just piss him off more. He doesnât care for secrets, but he canât stand when someone wusses out of a conversation at the last second.Â
ââŠDo you think if you had the chance you wouldâŠlike, go back in time? If you could make it to where none of this ever happened, would you?â
You feel stupid asking that, and it doesnât help that Tim is silent for far too long before he answers. Youâre already regretting this.Â
Tim finally opens his mouth, and he stammers for a few moments before his sounds turn into words.
ââŠI donât really think I can answer that, kid. Thatâs a tough one.âÂ
He sounds monotone, almost uncaring, but you can tell heâs doing it on purpose
to conceal whatever he doesnât want you to know heâs feeling. You finally turn to look at him with a look that says âCan you please try?âÂ
His eyes widen for a moment, his shoulders tensing in that subtle way they only do when heâs scared. His lips part slowly, and it sounds like heâs forcing his next words out.Â
âI donât know. Maybe? IâŠâ
He trails off, and you turn away again. Then thereâs silence for another few moments.Â
Then heâs beside your chair, slowly lowering himself to sit down and doing that annoyed groan he does anytime he has to strain his back. He takes a moment to get comfortable, and you see him reach for his pocket to grab a cigarette only to sigh in disappointment when he realizes he left them inside. You feel bad for smiling, but at least he wonât be able to hide behind his smoke the way he likes to when a conversation makes him uncomfortable.Â
He accepts his fate, leaning back on his hands and staring out into the rain with you.Â
âI might,â He finally says, âBut it wouldnât be an easy choice.âÂ
âWhy not?â You ask, and for some reason he chuckles at that.Â
âGood question. This isnât how I expected things to end up, no one does, butâŠI couldnât just up and leave this.âÂ
âThisâ he says. âThis?â That hardly answers your question. You quirk a brow at him, and he begrudgingly continues.Â
âYou know, I justâŠIâve gotten attached to all thisââÂ
âWhatâs this, exactly?â You interrupt, and he winces like he was hoping you wouldnât ask that. âI canât imagine there being anything here worth sticking around for.â
ââŠThere wasnât. Not for a long time,â He says, and now itâs your turn to pause.Â
ââŠWhat did you say?âÂ
âThere wasnât,â He repeats, âNot untilâŠnot when I was alone. But nowâŠâÂ
âYou,â you realize thatâs what heâs trying to say, âYou are the only thing worth staying for.âÂ
For some reason, that hurts. Maybe you feel guilty that you ever thought about leaving him, or maybe you feel bad that you of all people are his only friend. The bar for happiness is really low around here.Â
You slowly unfurl from your spot on the chair, letting your feet rest on the porch as you slump down a bit.Â
âSoâŠyouâre saying you wouldnât?â
You expected an immediate answer. Stupid of you, really. Heâs hesitating again. Youâd thought youâd get a quick yes or no. Youâre not sure if this is better or worse.Â
âIâm notâŠsaying anything,â Tim assures you, âIâm just saying thatâŠIâd at least have to think about it.âÂ
âYeah, but you have to make a choice,â You say with an eye roll, and the words coming out more forceful than you intended. Fortunately, his stoney exterior deflects any vitriol you could spew at him.Â
The silence that settles over you this time is heavy. It makes you slump even further down in your chair. You hate the silence that always follows when you say something that turned out far too mean.Â
You donât breathe until Tim speaks again.
âOkay, yeahâŠI would.âÂ
You donât know how you feel about that answer, but you donât have much time to think before he continues.Â
âBut only because Iâd know where to find you this time.âÂ
That surprises you. You sit back up in your chair, looking down at him with an unmistakably confused look.Â
âHuh?â You blurt out, and your cheeks warm a bit when he chuckles at your noise of bewilderment.
âIâd do it, yeah, but I couldnât just leave you to fend for yourself,â He explains, âIâd do it, but I wouldnât abandon you. Now I know who you are, what you liked to do, where youâd hang out, all those things from before shit hit the fan. I just donât want you to think Iâd, ya knowâŠforget about you like that. Iâd come find you, thatâs all. I think weâd find each other anyways, though.â
Something in your chest aches as he speaks, and it makes you want to curl up again, but you canât move. You stare at him for a long few moments, and youâre lucky he doesnât look up at you because you wouldnât be able to pull your eyes away. You canât even blink.Â
âI told you kid,â He adds, âI care about you. I always have.â
What do you say to that?Â
You donât know, so you stay silent. You want to say something, to return the monument of emotion heâs just offered to you, to somehow express reciprocity, but you donât know how. Youâre silent.Â
You donât move as Tim stands back up, cracking his back and stretching his legs. He puts a gentle hand on your shoulder, giving a small, affectionate squeeze.Â
âI gotta go start dinner,â He says curtly, âIâll be in the kitchen if you need me. Donât spend too long out here. If you get sick, Imma say I told you so.âÂ
You nod, but give no further response. He pulls his hand away, and you think thatâs the end of it, but just as you realize you havenât heard him go to leave you feel him leaning over you.Â
You tense. Youâre not sure why, but you do.Â
You feel him press a brief kiss to the top of your head before he pulls away again. It wasnât even a kiss, really, he just pushed his lips against your head for a moment, but for that moment it was like everything youâd ever worried about up until that point was arbitrary. It doesnât last long, but it lingers in the air like the smoke from Timâs cigarettes as he pulls away and walks back into the house.Â
Youâre alone again.
Now what?Â
You weigh your options for a moment, but once Timâs footsteps disappear into the house it feels far too quiet out here, even with the rain beating down on the roof above you.Â
You wait for only a few moments more to make sure you wonât seem too eager to follow him before you get up, lazily making your way back inside.Â
You find yourself wondering again, this time about what Tim is making for dinner tonight, and you take a second to appreciate the pleasure in such simple problems.Â
There are things that will never be now, and thereâs no changing that.
But for tonight, this is pretty damn nice.Â
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#gender neutral reader#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta#marble hornets#marble hornets x reader#creepypasta fluff#creepypasta angst#marble hornets fluff#marble hornets angst#fluff#angst#tim wright#masky#tim wright x reader#masky x reader
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Top 10 Things I Love About the QL Tumblr Community 2023
I'm loving everyone's end of year lists, and decided to make up one of my own.
I haven't been on Tumblr for very long and was originally just lurking. 2023 marks the year where I finally started posting, after I read a take that made me feel compelled to come to a fictional character's defense. (Saengtai, my poor little blorbo).
So in commemoration of my first proper year of active tumblring, I present what I love about this community (in no particular order).
(Side note - Technically I know this is still primarily a BL community, but I like to say QL because I am trying to manifest more lesbians for us.)
1) The Gifmakers
Y'all are a good 70% of the reason I joined Tumblr in the first place. There are so many show moments that I want to relive, but without having to search through videos. Sometimes I want to appreciate the aesthetics. Sometimes I want to remember adorable or goofy moments. Sometimes I just want to see cute boys eating each other's faces. Our gifmakers give all of that to us, with the addition of so much creativity and style.
There's too many amazing ones to mention everyone, but I have to shout out @sparklyeyedhimbo, because the way your brain works makes me so happy.
2) The expertise
The other part of why I joined Tumblr was to learn more about what BLs were out there and what I might be missing. And holy hell. Y'all are putting in the work. Not only lists and resources for finding all kinds of QLs, like these fabulous monthly breakdowns by @gunsatthaphan, but also amazing posts that add additional context, like @absolutebl's incredibly helpful breakdown of Asian honorifics. There is so much research people do, for fun! And then they share it!
3) The meta analysis
I frickin love reading people's takes and analyses on series. I love learning, I love seeing perspectives from people with different cultural backgrounds to my own, it's all so fascinating! There's so much context we can miss due to our own privileges, or lack of knowing about various cultures, or due to whatever bubbles we've been living in. People here are just so smart, and nuanced, and willing to reflect and think about things, and also push back at each other, but generally with respect (except when you call out the dumb shit you see, usually on Twitter or TikTok, where people are being reductive and dumb about gender and sexuality).
And I've seen a few takes where people complain about analyses, and say that the director/production doesn't do everything deliberately, and we're all reading too much into it. To which I say, eh, lighten up. How people connect to and relate to media has relevance beyond what was intended. The point is we get to think and discuss and learn and grow. That doesn't happen if we don't analyze.
Special shout out here to @respectthepetty because colors mean things!
4) The wild theories
The other side of the analysis coin, the clown cars y'all drive around in with the wildest of theories. I have happily climbed into an occasional clown car, and usually I am utterly wrong (*cough* Saifah *cough*). But it's a super fun ride. I love seeing how people's brains work. I love it when y'all are wrong. I love it when y'all are right. It's beautiful.
5) Immediate acceptance
I am one of those people who knows that I have a lot of good qualities, and also, always kind of expect rejection. Blame the childhood bullies, I guess. Anyway, whenever I delve into a new space, I still feel like a total dork that no one will want to talk to. It's kind of a fraught way to move through the world, but I manage.
Anyway, I started posting my thoughts as they came up, and people are just totally cool with it. People even follow me sometimes. Even my silliest thoughts and dumbest jokes get at least a couple likes. It's so validating.
And my very silly joke about gay mafia in Kiseki has over 800 likes. I feel very seen.
6) Mutuals
I still kind of can't believe I have any. This ties in to the dork feeling above, but seriously - they are soooo cooooool. They're smart and awesome and funny, and they somehow find me worth following back, which is baffling yet wonderful. I want to squish their faces and give them many kisses (if they're into that kind of thing).
7) The self-exploration
I really appreciate how it's become more talked about how a lot of people are discovering queerness through BL, because that is so the case for me. I think it's both that I was in a bit of a hetero bubble before, and also that I'm evolving a bit as I age. I had figured out I was demi, and maybe a little bit gay, before getting in to BL, but being in this community, and seeing so many of you share so openly and freely, has made me realize it might be more than a little bit.
Either it was a new realization, or being around y'all has made me more gay. Win win, either way.
8) The weirdness
I'm weird. Y'all are weird. I love it.
9) The thirst
So many in this community are thirsty as fuck, and as someone who is in that same condition, I love that it's not just me. There are not many places where I can freely admit how horny I am as a part of my general existence.
Here? I could post about wanting to lick some random BL actor's face, and it would get a bunch of likes and some tags like #lickable, and it's just not remotely a big deal.
Also the gifmakers understand this, and give us beautiful cuts of our spicy scenes. They are genuinely too good for us.
10) The communal watching experience
There is absolutely nothing like watching along with people in the community. It is so worth the torture of having to wait week to week for new episodes. Seeing the show trend, watching the theories fly fast and furious, or the way everyone collectively loses their minds over particular moments. In a world that can feel very isolating, it's a very warm experience.
So there you go. Thank you all for being you. Here's to another year of QL shenanigans and losing our collective minds!
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Hello! I hope you're doing amazing!
I've been thinking about Remus x Reader smut, Academic rivals, who are assigned a Order mission by Dumbly and they have to stay in a hotel for the night due to some changes in plan. And you guessed it right with the one bed trope.
I can't get it out of my head!! Could you maybe write a fic about it? Pretty please? Thankyou so much! Have a beautiful day ahead!
thank you for requesting!đ€i hope you have a lovely day!
.
âYou have got to be fucking kidding me.â
It had been bad enough that you had been stuck in a mission due to some last minute intel you had received overnight.Â
It had been bad enough that most of the mission had gone to shit after a mistake from said intel that left you stranded in a some dodgy town you had never stepped into before tonight.Â
It had been bad enough that throughout all this you had been stuck with Remus Lupin, the boy you had spent the last seven years arguing and bickering and fighting with since the day you first met.Â
But the fact you had stumbled into the small motel, tired and drenched from the rain and in desperate need to just lay down, only to find one bed was the final straw that had you cursing whatever sick joker in the universe that had planned this night for you.
âOfâfuckingâcourse,â you grumbled as you walked further into the room, glaring at the bed that was smaller than a double.Â
âAre you already complaining again?â Remus commented, having followed you into the room, the door clicking shut behind him.Â
âShut up, Lupin,â you murmured bluntly, peeling away the layers of soaked clothing and unceremoniously dumping them onto the armchair in the corner of the room in hopes of them drying out enough before the morning.Â
âJust go take a shower and stop whining,â he huffed out and gestured to the small attached bathroom.
And you were too tired to even argue with him.
Neither one of you spoke to the other as you sorted yourselves out. Remus contacted the Order and informed them of your situation, and as expected, they wanted you to pull out and return to Grimmauld Place in the morning.Â
Meanwhile, you had managed to warm up a little in the shower before making your way back out into the room, wrapped in only a towel and barely glancing at the wizard before you grabbed your change of clothes as he disappeared into the shower himself.Â
By the time he got out, a wall of pillows had already been set on the bed with a single look from you that warned the boy to stay on his side, not that he argued much on that matter. However, it was hard to fall asleep when he could feel your shivers vibrating that bed.
âMerlin, put a hoodie on or something,â Remus murmured sleepily as he glanced over his shoulder, peeking over the pillow wall to see you clutching the duvet close to you.
âI am,â you snapped back.
âAnd youâre still cold?â Remus asked, his brows furrowing a little in concern.
âNo, Iâm warm and fucking toasty,â you deadpanned.
However, Remus didnât respond with a snarky comment like you expected. He instead started throwing the pillows off the bed, ignoring your weak attempts at batting his hands away before he could reach over to your side and pull your body close to him.
âWhat are youâoh,â you let out a small groan of appreciation when the warmth of his body was pressed against your own, settling something inside you. You eagerly wrapped yourself around him, nuzzling yourself further into his chest.Â
âFucking hell, youâre freezing,â he murmured as his hands rubbed up and down your back, the gesture slow and calming.Â
âThank you,â you spat out, even if it killed you a little to say.
Instead of being smug about it, Remus simply nodded in response. âAre you warm enough?âÂ
âIâll be fine for the night,â you assured him.
âThatâs not what I asked,â he pointed out. âAre you warm enough?â
âIâm still a little cold,â you admitted in a slightly sheepish tone.
âDo you want me to help?â
Something about his voice made you lift your head up from his chest, finding that the boy was already staring down at you. His eyes were dark and, for a second, you thought it was just because of the lack of light. But then his arms squeezed around you, his thigh slotting between your legs and his gaze dropping to your lips and suddenly you were wondering if your body could heat up that quickly.
âWhat do you have in mind, Lupin?â you asked, your voice a little breathy as his hands dipped under the fabric of your hoodie, his hands sliding over your bare skin.
Remus gulped a little. âDo you trust me?âÂ
âNo.â
âGood.âÂ
Before you went on a mission, your mind raced through a million different outcomes on what you could possibly expect, just to prepare yourself so you were never caught off guard.Â
Not a single one of those could have prepared you for Remus to kiss you until your lungs burned for air. Not a single one could prepare you for the dirty little phrases that slipped past his lips as his hands squeezed and caressed every inch of your body. Not a single one could have prepared you for the fact youâd be lying underneath Remus Lupin as he fucked you hard until the bed frame was banging against the wall.
âFuck, fuck, fuck,â you whined out, your nails ranking down his back as his hips thrusted in and out of you, at a pace you didnât even think was possible.Â
âThatâs it, pretty girl, let it all out,â Remus groaned, his face pressed into the crook of your neck as your walls clamped around him. âDoing so good fâme, taking it all like such a good girl.âÂ
âPlease,â you moaned, your legs winding around his waist to keep him close. âIââ
âShhh, come for me,â Remus grunted, your breathy moans and pathetic whimpers sounding like a fucking symphony to his ears. âThatâs it, just like that. Fuck, so pretty for me.âÂ
You felt him press encouraging kisses along your neck as you finally came for the third time that night, your shaking body held close to him as he came inside you, not letting you go as the warmth settled inside you and you finally fell asleep.
And not a single one could have prepared you to wake up the next morning, your body still tangled with Remusâ, to find Sirius standing at the bottom of the bed with a shit-eating grin.Â
âSleep well last night?âÂ
âShut up,â you grumbled, narrowing your eyes at the boy. âI was cold. We were just cuddling,â you said to him, though the sheet wasnât enough to cover the fact neither you nor Remus was wearing clothes.
Sirius raised his brows. âAnd you both conveniently forgot about heating charms?â
Your face burned as you chucked a pillow towards his head, only for him to rush out the motel room, cackling.
âYou have ten minutes to get ready before we have to be back for a debrief!â
.
#remus lupin#marauders#harry potter#hp#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x y/n#remus lupin fic#remus lupin oneshot#remus lupin smut#marauders x reader#marauders x you#marauders x y/n#marauders fic#marauders one shot#marauders smut#harry potter x reader#harry potter x you#harry potter x y/n#harry potter fic#harry potter one shot#harry potter smut#hp x reader#hp x you#hp x y/n#hp fic#hp one shot#hp smut
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So, this week's episode...
[Spoilers below cut]
save me SMG4 episode save me
(the following is my live reaction:)
moo-stache moo-stache moo-stache
why do I feel like Pedro's going to be here?
"bruh Pedro was just a one-time thing." they literally killed off Mickey, ANYTHING can happen
KAIZO YOU'RE BACK HI
OMG please tell me someone from the Team saw this fan animation and put it in the episode as a nod to the animator, that would be awesome!!!
btw great fan animation, go check it out if you haven't [link]
YAYYYY, c'mon Mario you gotta spend time with your brother :)
also I need to find a playthrough of this game while I work
whoops my hand slipped [*makes 4 say "I should've chosen the USB over you, 3"*] :)
Hey Shroomy :D ....oh *western spaghetti flashbacks*
like seriously, I can't hear that audio the same way again
helicopter helicopter (copter)
oh hey swag *he fades away* NOOOOOO
well, digging did (mostly, sorta) help the last episode
OMG HI HI HI MY SILLIES
Three, why are you here if you think it's stupid? unless... đ«” đłïžâđâïž
it's giving "I'm only here to support my boyfriend's interests", like I'm starting to believe that they truly are dating behind the scenes
they're on a date, your honor đđ
and there they go bickering again smh /affectionate
I'd like to think that ever since Four drives a forklift, that's just his method of transportation. screw the car, we're taking this baby out for a spin :)
Mario, you need to be âšforklift certifiedâš
sorry, just Three's gayass poses give me life
actually yeah why is the line not moving?
the boys :)
also that walk animation tho
HOW LONG IS THIS LINE?!
also c'mon Three, show us your dance moves :D
oooooh that editing i love that
THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING
now that they've mentioned it, why are there so many conventions happening at the same time? hmmmmm *game theory theme starts playing*
SMG3: "Maybe they're lining up to go to your mom's house. That line's usually pretty long." DAYUM THREE
"the line doesn't end" ayo wtf????
shroomy, you've eaten mushrooms before and you had no problem with that
....it really is the end of the world huh
ONE WEEK LATER?!?!?!?
"there is no end" "the end will come" me, sitting in the corner: hmmmmmmmmm
whelp, it's confirmed, I kin Four now
Three's not going coo co crazy, he's just vibin' :)
THIS IS WARRRRRR
this whole fighting scene omg it's SO good!
....WOTFI? ok no :P
AWWW THAT WAS ACTUALLY SWEET DUDE
CAN WE PLEASE GET A HUG? FOR ME SPECIFICALLY?
.... yeah uh Boopkins, you're going to have to explain what the hell you mean by that
not that it's surprising, we've been through a lot. just another Tuesday (or Saturday in this case)
MY HEART CAN'T TAKE ALL THIS FLUFF
HUG HUG HUG
THAT'S MY BOYS
RAVE PARTY [*dances*]
....sonic, is that you? sorry, my mind is still in the sonadow generations phase so I can't unsee them
:O wait, Boopkins, what did you mean by that?
MARTY?!?!? WTF
SMG4: "Don't worry, Mario. There's one way we can fix this." Beat the shit out of him...? YEAH I KNEW IT HAHA
*explodes*
and congrats to samgagmincho for your art featured at the end credits đ
.ă»-: ⧠:--: ⧠:-ă».
This was a fun episode, I loved it!! Seeing my boys is always a plus and I appreciate the return of some side characters. With how the world is right now, I really needed this episode. So, thanks Team, for keeping my spirits up.
I just enjoyed watching my silly little guys doing silly little adventures. Traffic is a nightmare so I don't blame Mario in the slightest. Anyway, 3 and 4, how was your date? /silly
Can we just talk about the animation? It was so good!!! You really see the quality they put in, especially in that fighting scene. I didn't expect MARTY of all people to be the cause of all this. I honestly thought it was going to be a gag of something harmless just being in the middle of the road for no reason (like a turtle or smth) and the Crew being like "ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!" but NOPE, Marty was here and apparently A SORCERER?! I really shouldn't be surprised, what am I talking about here. And ofc the OG duo immediately beating the shit out of him is so fucking funny to me. He didn't die (I know that), but he's definitely going to be more relevant in the future.
...puzzlevision 2? ok I'm sorry
SMG4 show and jokes aside, I hope you all are ok. No matter what happens, we'll stick together. Don't give them the satisfaction that they want. You aren't alone, and we'll keep on fighting.
Going to be a Sonic fan here, Sonic 06 is famously known to be... augh. But there is a good moment with Shadow that I think is relevant now:
Mephiles (the villain of the game): "It's futile. The world will betray you. Why fight at all? Why risk your life for those who will persecute you later?" Shadow: "If the world chooses to become my enemy, I will fight like I always have."
Take care, my dear fellows, and I'll see you all in my next post!! Hmmm, there is "no end" [*game theory intro plays*]
#smg4#smg4 spoilers#smg4 mario#smg4 luigi#smg4 smg3#smg34#like c'mon it's obvious at this point#/silly#we're SO BACK#mar4 fans are going crazy over this episode#honestly same#i got a bit serious here sooo yeah#ink reviews
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