#so my grade doesnt die

[spitinsideme]

Happy 3rd gay day of the gay month!! Hope you're feeling better!

thamk you miga !!/ very kuch apprscoated ❤️❤️ unfortunately i am in fact feeling worse !! no art today as iamm very tired .. i nerd you all to just imagine someyhing lesbiana likr imaging i just drew ragatha and pomni kissing and happy .. happy 3rd gay day to you aldo miga !!!

[minnows-wc-blog]

My personal AU Poppyfrost and Cherryfall just being my fav auntie & niece pairing!

[bitegore]

getting mental healthcare is really cool, its like asking someone to take a sledgehammer to your self-interest and then saying thank you after because it makes your life moderately easier even though you have to deal with this shit now

[chansgender]

unlabeled is a valid sexuality guys btw. in case you didn’t know

[diobrando]

I hate that I cried on the phone with my brother I need to kms RIGHT NOW

[rotthepoet]

Need theo and lorenzo head cannons 😔

Good morning sweet pookie, i gotchu!! I needed a little break after that threesome so I did some random, some silly, some fluffy, and some smutty, kay? It’s really just a big brain dump on how I characterize the boys <3 Hope you enjoy, love ;)

P.s. if I have any reoccurring anon’s, if you want me to differentiate you, please feel free to assign yourself an emoji <3 unspoken rule i thought i’d say out loud

Theodore Nott

I agree with literally everyone on this app, he is a smarty pants, but i refuse to believe he sits down and studies

It’s not that he doesn’t care about his grades, he just doesn’t have to try to get good marks. Queen absorbs information like a sponge and retains that shit forever. Doesnt have to waste time with a boring textbook because he commits everything to memory.

That being said, he will remember everything about you. Your favorite movie you mentioned in passing, he saw you eat something particular multiple times he can infer its your favorite and will buy it for you often, he knows your habits, your aspirations, your desires. All of it. Does it for his close friends and lovers <3

Huge smoker. Like. Oral fixation final boss. Needs to have something to smoke or at least chew on at all times

I mentioned before how I think Mattheo and him laugh at people who vape, but Theodore Nott is a two faced LIAR and actually keeps a menthol alto with him at all times. For convenience sake. If you ask him, it’s different because its not a fun lil fruity flavor.

Speaking of Mattheo, those two are best friends. Like ride or die. Like. These two are bread and butter, inseparable and delicious.

Will internalize everything. This is why he gets so worked up and fights people. It may seem like him getting pissy over nothing, but this boy has some unresolved trauma and unmedicated issues.

Theo has ADHD prove me wrong and fuck you for trying(jk love you, but i will die on this hill.) severe anxiety issues, def some depression going on, hes working through some shit.

Theo can process a lot of stimulus at the same time. Watching him hold 3 steady conversations while reading a novel at the same time is a sight to behold.

Smokes weed a lot too. Mostly bud, but he’s smart and keeps a cart on him too for quick bathroom breaks when he needs to chill tf out. It slows down all the thoughts racing around his head. Lets him relax. Lets him feel peace. Let him feel comfortable. He’s been searching for that feeling his whole life.

Mommy and daddy issues check?

Anyways!

Theo is a player, and its not even because he tries to be.

Girls flock towards him, and he needs an outlet.

Sex is a good outlet.

Sex and drugs? Now we’re cooking

He doesn’t care much for the dating scene, didn’t think he was cut out for it. Bad home life. No mom. Depressed and emotionally distant evil dad. Friends and his family are all death eaters? Causes some bad views on relationships as a whole.

Omg but when he falls in love it takes forever but its so hard. Its so devastatingly hard.

It goes from “wow they really make me happy” to “omfg i need to marry them they make me feel complete and comfortable and it feels like i can finally be myself around someone this is the feeling i have been searching for my whole life” really fast when he falls

He’d never love at first sight. Refuse it. He might think someone is pretty or handsome, but he won’t ever describe it as love at first sight.

100% friends to lovers

He’s a quality time kinda guy i think

Just likes co-existing really

Stay in the room with him in silence as he reads and hes so golden

But that will bump up several notches and enjoy every other love language too

He wants to make you love him. He’ll do anything for you. Buy anything for you. Tell you everyday how wonderful you are

He’s being so genuine too

His friends would know

He never shuts up about you

If you had never spoken to his friends, never met them, they’d be able to come up to you in a grocery store and say “oh. You’re <you>, right?”

And dear god he genuinely cries a little in relief when you finally say yes

He’s buried his face in your hair and hugging you so tightly and he tries not to cry because he finally has everything he needs in his arms

He’s such a good boyfriend

Will never question you(at least not at first or without good reason)

Literally worships the ground you walk on

Will apologize first immediately after every meaningless petty fight

Thats different about real fighting though. Stubborn ass bitch

Anyways

Dotes on you everyday

Calls you so many sweet names in Italian

Has an Italian accent but sometimes tries a British accent to throw everyone off.

Argues in italian

Lowkey hates snow

Runs super cold so loves lovvesss hot weather

Will take you to Italy over the summer

Demands you go

Fucks you on the balcony of his family home

Fucks you stupid on the beach

Sorry where was I going with this

Ah yes anyways

Runs super cold so like is a big fan of cuddles. Lots of sweaters for you to steal

He likes turning cuddles into more slow and intimate things

Slowly fingering you as you spoon

Cockwarming in the morning or late at night<3

So much worship.

So much

Just adores you.

Loves fast rough sex but honestly could go on about slow love making for hours

Literally cant stand American reality tv

The biggest kardashian hater

Knows all the gossip because he’s quiet and listens

Doesnt care to share it though

Lorenzo Berkshire

Bitchboy extraordinaire

If I met Lorenzo Berkshire he would become #1 on my shitlist so fast

I called theo a two faced liar as a joke

But Enzo actually is one

Literally puts on the nicest mask for pretty girls, but every ex, and every guy in hogwarts knows he’s a conniving bitch behind closed doors

One of the richest in the group and it shows

Flaunts his money everywhere he goes

His ears are pieced

Also he likes having his ears bitten it can make him hard as a rock in seconds

Dates, but it usually only lasts a month and Hes the worst boyfriend ever

Dumps them whenever he gets bored

But omg when a person gives him his attitude back

Well first he gets even meaner

But also he likes you so much like… that was hot

And if you ignore his existence? On you like a moth to a flame

Craves attention

Such an attention seeker

Still will fight, isn’t very good, but will try

100% a prefect

Showers his pookie with so much love and attention

When he finally gets the person he wants, hes on top of them 24/7

Never a hand straying to far

Literally obsessed

Big fan of exhibitionism

Will fuck uou on the train, the bathrooms, the common room, the classroom

Its all fair game

Would love to see you all tied up in pretty ribbons for his birthday

Ass man 100%

Likes to just get a fistfull while you hug or cuddle

Mattheo and him are the biggest gossipers

Has like 4k followers on instagram because hes so pretty

Father and mother are hirh death eaters. Does anyone know Berkshire lore because i def dont

Like fr can someone explain him to me

Pairs well with anyone in the grouo, really

Gets along especially with Theo or Mattheo

Amazing at card games, and says he’s amazing at chess too. Hes not.

Literally refuses to snack, says it’ll ruin his physique

On the quidditch team much like everyone else he’s friends with

Slays at herbology

Maybe a bit of a smoker? Not often, and def more weed than tobacco

Light weight for reals

Like severely light weight

He’s the laughingstock of the friend group for it

Him and Mattheo have a running bet on who can fuck the most women

Omg omg omg because they so do the alphabet challenge im so sorry but its factual

Lorenzo is currently winning with 15/26 letters in the alphabet but Mattheo isnt too far behind

Its because Lorenzo is so charming and Mattheo…. Is himself.

Anyways back to being his significant other

Will spoil you

Relentlessly

Lowkey expects head in return but that will wear ofd eventually

109% more likely to start a fwb situation than anything else

Treats you like a girlfriend this whole time

Kisses you sweetly, holds uou close when you sleep, mumbles about how special you are

Just being a girlfriend without the title because then it gets too weird

Loses his shit if you get tired of trying and break it off

Genuinely ballistic if he loses you

Will pull as many favors and as many strings as he can to get yiu back

Seriously considers murder for a while

Anyways he gets you back baby<3

Speaking of babies hes super good with kids

Look at that face

Amazing dad face

Scared of marriage lmao

Bad parents. Fucked up views on relationships

Its a thing for all of them tbh

[miltonbarbie]

What does Stan's friend group love about you? (Sp x F!y/n) </3

Warning(s): Slight NSFW

Reader is Female, and in these scenario you and your dp (Desired person, for example: Kyle) are already in an established relationship.

</3

Stan🎧💙 :

Dude loves any form of affection you give him, whether it be quick kisses to long, warm hugs, he feels like he'll throw up any second.

He wishes he could call you pet names but he's gonna get sick in the stomach REAL fast.

he also makes playlists of songs that remind him of you and sends them to you + puts them visible on his Spotify account

he doesn't show any clingy-ness or PDA around his friends bc cartman's such an ass and he'll get teased for days, but in private all he wants to do is cuddle w/ you and watch a Christmas movie together

loves loves loves when you mindlessly copy his actions, he think its soso cute. Like for example if he does a secret handshake with one of his friends and catches you trying to make one with yours, he's gonna die of how adorable it is.

He likes to go skating with you, if you don't know how to skate he'll gladly teach you

Get's hard whenever he sees you in a skirt 🙏🙏

Whenever he texts you and you send him pictures of yourself being all cute n' shii, his eyes widen and he automatically saves them to his camera roll with a sly grin on his face.

bro thinks he's mf swiper with his devious ass

he gets realllll horny whenever you sit with your legs crossed on a desk/table, or when you twirl your hair and make eye contact while talking to him. my guy's gonna be walking around with a huge boner the whole day in pain until you relieve him.

Kyle 🎮💚:

He tries extremely hard not to get flustered whenever you hug him from behind

Especially when you compliment his hair and play with it/start flirting with him while you do it. ITS JUST SO ENLKBVJVBENKJJ FOR HIM HE GOES WILD

"Kyle baby, you look so cute with your hair out like that .." "I- h-hah .. T-thank you .." Then he legit MELTS INTO YOUR TOUCH HE'S SO DESPERATE

he wants to act all tough and whatnot 4 you but you make him so vulnerable

what makes him hard as a fucking rock is when he's sitting down on his chair and you bend over towards him with your titties on the desk, arms crossed. HANDS DOWN CATCHES HIM OFF GUARD SO QUICKLY HIS EYES DART STRAIGHT TOWARDS YOUR TITS 😔😔

He lovesss seeing you wear his hoodies, something about it is just.. makes him feel some sort of way..

he gets really excited whenever you ask him to tutor you, it means you two get to spend more time together

If someone insults you he's gonna get MADD ANGRY

Like his anger issues will not allow someone to disrespect you like that.

he's always at your beck and call, if you need him, he's there.

Send him a bikini pic and he's gonna have a seizure.

"SHIT Y/N IM WITH MY FRIENDS WHAT IF THEY SEE IT?!??1!?!?!/11/1/ FUCK WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME AMEOIDOAEINAMSLKN"

STUDY DATES ARE HIS FAVOURITE BUT ALSO GOING OUT TO CAFE'S >>>>>>>>>>

He gets really blushy and nervous whenever your showing him so much affection to towards him infront of his friends, but he secretly likes it, he just doesnt wanna seem like a baby.

Whenever you get better grades than him he either celebrates for days or cries in a corner for hours. There's no in between.

Kyle is honestly so overprotective like if he sees a guy staring at you hes gonna straight up smack their face with a stack of graded homework assignments.

He jealousssss 🤭 he HATESSS admitting it though hes so whiny abt it too.

"Y/nn, I'm not jealousss babeee shutt uppp-uh 😠😠" Like a frickin 10 year old, LMFAO WHY DO I ACTUALLY IMAGINE HIM SAYING THAT THOUGH

Kenny 🏠🧡:

Lovesss showing/giving PDA doesn't matter where you are or who you're with

Bro is soso touch-starved its insane

He holds you by the waist while he leans in for a kiss, he low-key smells like cigarettes and car gas but I'm kinda into it ngl 🤷‍♀️

Whenever he gets touchy, it's not always going to be sexual but this man has some pretty horny thoughts but you cant blame him

Hes so whiny and wants you to touch him REALLY BADLY.

"Y/nn please please please I love you so much please just this once oh my God please your so hot I'm gonna suffocate I love you just this once please please PLEASEEEEEE-" "Kenny omg calm down wtf-"

His weak spot is seeing you in clothes that bring out your figure, I mean, girls look better in a real tight sweater ifkwim 😋

The only time he will EVER be the submissive one during sex is when hes balling his eyes out about something that's happened at home, or when he's high on sumthin'

If he's going to see you, he sometimes brings karen with him because he loves the little relationship you two got going on, also his parents are always arguing so it'd be a huge relief for both Karen AND Kenny.

Send him ONE picture and he'll be begging on his knees for more

"MOMMY SORRY MOMMY SORRY- OH GOD SEND MORE- I NEED- creams aggressively YOUR A FUCKING GODDESS OH LORD HAVE MERCY GOAWDH DAYHUYHM 😍😍"

It's a big bonus if you come from a wealthy or rich family cause then you can spoil Kenny and his siblings rotten like how they deserve 😔💞

Please treat karen well she really looks up to you, your like her idol and shes def your #1 fan, she'll always be talking about you and how amazing and thoughtful and pretty you are ITS JUST SO AAAAAAA KAREN IS SO CUTEEE 😖

Kenny doesn't have much but he'll try to save up ENOUGH money to get you something nice like a headband or some nail polish 😚

He's trying.

He just wants you to be happy with him.

Please get married.

Cartman 🍗❤️:

Oh no.

When people started finding out that Cartman had feelings for the one and only, Y/n, they felt so sorry and started giving u random things and being oddly kind around you.

You were like: ???

If he sees a guy flirting or talking to you, he's gonna lower their self esteem to the MAX.

Like he'll be soso rude abt it too

"What kind of dumb fuck like you would get any girls? You got to be kidding me, your dumber than Kahl."

Once you started dating him, man everyone in the school was either shocked, no- not shocked, literally flat-out concerned for your well-being.

Cartman, REEAAAALLLYYYY .. ?

He always wants your attention, even when your busy doing something he'll be texting you at the most randomest times saying "I'm coming over", and shows up at your door in less than 2 minutes.

If you give him a hug or a kiss in public, he'll be acting all tough and start bragging to his friends. But once he's alone, he'll start giggling and twirling around like a fangirl (😨)

He has so many bad pictures of you on his camera roll but it takes all of your convincing skills to tell him: DONT. POST. THE PICTURES.

He doesn't wanna participate in any tiktok couple challenges bc he thinks their stupid. Buttt unless you offer Kyle to do it then he's def gonna cave in 🤭.

He's such a toddler too

He'll secretly want to be the little spoon often but if you offer him his face starts looking like a whole-ass sunburn with an offended look on his face

"AHEM? No we are NAWT doing that. You? Cuddling ME? No no no, its supposed to be the other way around, "Y/n" 🙄"

He'd diss your music taste and then you'll catch him twerking to your favorite song

He just like that y'know?

[chochomin]

snowfall (toji x fem! oc)

minors dni! cw/tags: smut with plot, piv, megumi doesnt exist yet, angst with post angst fluff, height difference, pet names (princess, brat, doll, pretty girl) loss of virginity, love bombing, and violence AN: this made me get carpel tunnel lmao i hate my computer character disc: Umeko Koizumi "the plum blossom sorcerer" known for her curse reversal healing technique and beautiful domain expansion causing those trapped in to violently choke on pollen and flowers. She is 149cm or 4'8, hip length plum shade hair; with a plum blossom hairpin accompanying her lengths, she has cloudy grey eyes with long dark eyelashes with a look of graceful sorrow, she wields a katana.

"special grade sorcerer huh? Bring it on, princess."

the trip began as Umeko had gotten commissioned on a mission in Okinawa to defeat a grotesque curse that took the appearance of a living mass, a tumor of abomination, the mass would scream and birth out different living things of the biome. Yes, it was a curse, but it was quite odd seeing tropical fish in the snowy weather. with one final blow, the curse dissipated into dark smoke.

"mmmphh..why did they even commission me..?" Umeko sighed sheathing her sword to then start going on a soothing walking the gorgeous scenery..silence..for once.

Umeko was always a people pleaser but only did it to protect the innocent. it broke her heart to see people die. Lost in thought, now caught off guard by a deep calloused laugh, she unsheathed the ages old cursed weapon.

"special grade sorcerer, huh? bring it on, princess." it was no other than Toji Zen'in, 'The Sorcerer Killer' "i heard things about you, Zen'in," her breath fogged in the cold air "oh please, just call me Toji. it doesnt matter since youll be dead soon." another chuckle before their weapons clash "oh dont be so confident." she kicked and spun around him "cursed technique: petal swarm!" umeko yelled jumping high into a tree with the blossoms swarming Toji in the mauve delicate blooms, "brat!" he husked before a clink of a chain captured the branch she was attacking from then falling into his grasp, fast. Umeko didnt try to escape, her arms still free. "domain expansion: fall of blossom" the scenery around them turning into a pristine landscape of plum trees and pagodas, Toji fell to his knees choking on the petals and pollen that fell before him "my domain is to make my opponent suffocate on the blossoms that grow and to make my allies heal from their injuries-" Toji crawled up and slashed his weapon across her face then impaling her kidney "thats..aughh..what..cunts like..oughh you get" blood and petals he spat onto her as she started to scream in pure agony watching her guts and blood spill onto the snow "..cur..cursed..reversal..technique..everlasting beauty,," she held onto the shredded fabric as her wounds healed "you're going to pretend like you don't know me, Umeko, and try to fight me like a silly little curse." he spat onto the sorcerer's almost revealed chest, her kimono shred to rags. "Its been a long time and you tell me to bring it on like im some long term rival?" warm tears stung her freezing cheeks as the snow started to fall harder.

umeko fell to the ground sobbing and begging forgiveness "toji..." she looked into his viridescent eyes with her snowy ones full of tears. "spit it out." he stared down at her "tell me youre proud and..that you didnt want to kill me..and that..you love me back" she hiccuped and shivered. Toji picked her up and wrapped his haori around her befor kissing her frozen lips

"i love you, but i hate you for leaving."

Placed on the bed undressed, her hairpin pulled out, her waves falling onto the silk sheets, harsh aggressive but gentle and loving kisses all over her body made her gasp and whimper her lovers name "toji..gentleplea..se" he left love bites across her collarbone making her squirm "let me indulge in you." the fire cracked and small licks were made to her untouched folds, his large calloused hands spread her full plump thighs apart. "not a chance" he breathed harshly out of his nose and lapped her sensitive pearl like he hadnt eaten in days. "toji,,toji..imclose.." she breathed before shrieking as one of his thick fingers entered her, ruining the rhythm making the knot dissipate. "feels good? dont it?" he teased as she swept her bangs from her brows to embarrassingly cover her face. "mmm don't hide your face, pretty girl" he frowned removing his fingers to move her hands "wha,,nooo" she blubbered before getting stretched with an unfamiliar feeling. he was heavy in her, pressing her down into a mating press. she felt like she was dying. toji held onto the window ceil above and stared down on the flustered mess that was umeko, she released sounds of bliss as his length plummeted in and out of her, shaking her cherry wood bed which she was begging him to be careful not to break but he promised no promises. "is it okay..if i cum inside of you?" toji grunted, his hips rutting then getting eager pleads for him to. Toji growled biting deep onto umekos full breast making her scream and release around him for his to eventually paint her insides.

the night seemed endless they both ravenous for each other but umeko would fall into toji's embrace at the end of the night "i love you and i dont want to leave your side," he vowed kissing her gently

The snow fell and blood trickled down his weapon, the sorcerer gone like the rest. but this time it wasnt out of hate or malice but because she had gotten struck with disease,,

[brains5ana]

zombie blog turn around!!

this is my personal blog about my anorex14 and depression this is both my safe space where i can cope with my life right now and my way of documenting this disorder in case i dont survive it so that my loved ones or anyone who wants them might get some answers.

₊˚⊹ 𐂯please dont interact if you are not already disordered or are in recovery. block dont report this is really all i have .₊˚⊹ 𐂯

life rn - mom died in august now im taking care of my 15 yo autistic sibling and household because my dad is abusive and doesnt really parent. my grandparents help take care of them sometimes but they dont live with us and are televangelists who try to convert us(my sibling is pagan). my sibling is awesome but its a lot to take care of them while grieving so much and i worry about them a ton.

꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦

me ୧ ‧₊˚ 🥩🦴 ⋅

17 they/them bi and taken veryyy happily dni creeps

bg - grew up in poverty w pretty bad parents (i love my mom a lot but she was young and fucked me up a little bit as a young kid mostly she was good but our relationship was kind of complicated for while). got bullied really bad from elementary school till quarantine when i was in middle school. my dads a redneck and my mom was a hippie now my dads like a frat bro?? and hes insane.

alternative (riot grrl goth punk etc) i like music(esp live punk shows), painting, writing, horror movies, ZOMBIES

political activist mostly w the environment but also general big leftist

white, able bodied (maybe) hindu vaishnavite

im very mentally ill and have had suicidal thoughts and depression my whole life. diagnosed cptsd, ptsd, chronic depression, generalized anxiety disorder, ana suspected adhd

my ed - got bullied for my weight and started trying to lose weight in 5th grade. i went to a nutritionist in 6th grade who told me to count calories so i did and then i went lower and lower and lower seeing how little i could consume in a day(i also started having an exercise addiction then). in 7th grade i started doing intermittent fasting and restricting below what you need to live in retrospect. then quarantine happened and i started looking at ana tips. id sleep all day until 4 pm to avoid food and workout at night. i got to my lw and was plateauing and worrying about dying so i told my very shitty therapist at the time who told me i wasnt low enough to have an ed but still told my mom who got me an appointment w an ed doctor. and there started my forced recovery bc the ed doctor told me i definitely did have ana and wouldnt have survived another month or two. after resisting for a long time and trying to secretly relapse i gave in. and it worked, i fully recovered. i didnt get thoughts i was happy and didnt have to lose weight anymore. and then people started treating me badly and a girl who was in my friend group started making fun of me for being fat and i realized i cant deal with that and everything else. so im 40 lbs down and trying to loose more.

꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦

this blog ୧ ‧₊˚ 🥩🦴 ⋅

BYF - this is an ed bl0g w triggering content do whats best for you i cant facilitate everyones recovery but it is possible and waiting for everyone

DNI - 14 y/o and younger, those interested in recovery (you can so do it i believe in you), creeps, p3d0s, p0rn accounts, fatphobes (fuck off and die), terfs, transphobes, etc

this is a number free blog for the most part and if not ill tag #tw ed numbers or #tw ana numbers

on here ill post wieiads, b0dy checks, collages, diet plans for myself, themed moodboards, a lot of zombie content.

i use the tag #brains4ana or #brains4ana4vent for vent posts (if im coherent enough to care)

other ongoing tws - meat, cannibalism(all the zombie stuff) alcohol addiction, nicotine addiction, mentions of sh, ed (duh)

[paradisepoisoned]

Okay I need to ask... what the hell is 💊💒💊The Ecstasy of our Virgin Mother Saint Mandy 💊💒💊 ???

*Rafiki voice* : It is time.

*CUE VIOLENT KAZOO MUSIC*

The Ecstasy of Our Virgin Mother Saint Mandy is my Eldritch baby, a grotesque abomination, and my first attempt at writing anything seriously. I will not say much as I’m hoping to post it by the end of November, but I will say It's a Mello/Near fanfic analyzing their relationship from wammy's till Kira's death. I will also say that if you plan to read it, prepare to be abandoned and forsaken by God just as these orphans have.

Enjoy the opening under the cut and don't be shy lemme know what you think even if you hate it I guess lolll💒

As so the old proverb goes…

“For want of a nail the shoe was lost.

For want of the shoe the horse was lost.

For want of a horse the rider was lost.

For want of a rider the message was lost.

For want of a message the battle was lost.

For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.

And all for the want of a nail.”

_________________________________________

Proverbially enough, all his life, Near has wanted for nothing. It's not that he’s never been hungry or in need but rather he is simply content without. Near can do without. Hunger is a need, it's biological; but want— want is a desire, a want is a wish and wishes to Near are nothing but storybook nonsense and consequently a waste of time.

Wanting is a choice, a choice that unavoidably leads to demise. Want breeds attachment, attachment breeds love and with love comes blindness,weakness, and vulnerability. All things Near would happily rather choose to live without. 

If wanting is a choice and if Near ever had a choice in anything at all, Near would—

Well, …quite frankly, Near would rather choose to starve and die.

But Near never had a choice; —in any of this. Which is fine because Near knows how to do without.

Near can do without choices. He can do without hobbies and interests. He can do without having dreams or true aspirations. Near can do without having friends or family. He can do without comforting conversations and the warmth of someone’s company. He can do without knowing what his mother’s embrace would feel like, without knowing what they might have had in common, —without knowing if she ever loved him. 

Near can do without love. Near doesnt want love. He doesn't want any of these things because none of these things make a good detective and Near is a rational person and there is no rationality in wanting what you can’t have. 

It’s sound enough logic Near thinks, it's just unfortunate that sound logic does nothing to combat the irony of the number one person on top of the ‘Things Near Can Never Have’ list, was blessed with the God given hands of a virtuoso that liked to thrum and pluck the delicate, nylon, thin, threaded cords holding together all the seraphim-disguised boy’s principles of logic and sanity.

 Mello never needed the permission of logic. Mello has never had a problem doing whatever he wants and while it's always elusive what the blonde boy really wants, the sadistic musician nonetheless plays him like a theremin. Without even touching him he seizes control of the humming neurons inside the young orphan’s brain, commanding full attention just being in the room and sends Near’s brain humming. conducting and coercing out Philharmonic Orchestra grade symphonies that drown out all sound of rational thought. 

But what’s far worse however is when those sunlight kissed hands do touch his moonlight cursed body, they play him as steady, knowing, fingers on harp strings do. He plays him patiently and determined, until the poisoning devotion in every bite and bruise and kiss has Near gasping and writhing, singing out of key like a small wounded animal in the woods, bleeding to death in the middle of the night. 

He plays him until his heartbeat is a loud ticking metronome, until he forgets he’s breathing on his own. He plays with him until all forty seven harp strings of Near’s self restraint snap from the tension. He plays with him until he breaks. 

If he was truly a rational person he would push Mello away. He would stop. He should stop. He needs to stop…

He feebly clutches at the rosary around the older boy’s neck out of instinct and pulls him down closer for another desperate kiss instead. Near quietly reminds himself he wants for nothing.

[fictionfixations]

MAJOR UNTIL THEN SPOILERS

been watching tuonto play until then

I dont know what it is I mean. i joined the streams without any context (well listen i was there for the start. did not know it was but i saw like ryan and mark at the laptop and louise coming over and reveal of her playing games. except i didnt know who they were at the time lOl. thought it was cool but wasnt keeping up with it. then i ended up on the stream where nicole brings us to visit her grandparents and they're just fighting and it was raining and then theres the reveal with mark's mom being dead [well missing but]. and then we went to prom and cathy died and im just like what the fuck.)

but so i didnt really know what was going on but i still kinda cared? but like. so cathy died. and i did not cry. i was just 'what the fuck' and. like. a lot of surprise. and shock. (i was also thinking that maybe if we didnt go after her she wouldn't have died because she was walking towards us on the road. i also didnt know that apparently you can disappear when it rains if nobodys there to acknowledge that you are there and that you exist. i think. so uhm. i still wonder what wouldve happened if we turned back to see our mom though. or if we stopped.)

but so anyway. i did go back to watch all the until then streams after that. with all the context involved (did not see ending of cathy admitting that her homelife.. isnt that great. because that wasnt streamed yet. admitting in a recording i mean cause shes dead. but a chatter said that it was implied that they probably were abusive, and pointing out the marks on her skin cause her dress was like ripped in that slowed shot of her walking towards us.)

but i already knew what happened so shrug (it was very cool though. even though i was also rewatching scenes id seen before it didnt feel old at all. very invested.)

you know what got me crying?

THIS stupid scene in the other timeline where they're acting for ridel. about two ppl who havent seen each other for awhile. and the

memories of cathy actually being dead just came into this one and i just fucking bawled im being literal

(we dont see the memories actually affect us, its just a thing that we know. mark doesnt know cathy died he just. feelings. and also he got a hallucination of the truck..)

i dont know why but sad shit has been making me cry more than usual.

marks just starts crying and im already sobbing my eyes out like no you cant do this to me you 😭

anyway. i missed a bunch of the streams and not wanting to go them out of order ive been waiting to watch it all at once (also he apparently finished the game so now i really gotta go faster. i think i have like. a stream and a half to watch now.)

but so i dont know the ending pls dont spoil me

i just wanna say. god this game is so cool.

also i mightve been slacking off cause it seemed this timeline mightve been a worse timeline. and im like the kind of person to be like in fiction 'what if that person was me' and so i get super immersed. which also means i get all the shitty feelings too. so i was kinda worried. but its.. okay?

mark. just. kinda seems depressed though. like uh. more depressed?

i saw someone describe it as him having kind of given up (i also think his grades are worse? it didn't show us what his grades were but the principal mentioned that he needed to study more or he'll have to be kicked out or something which wasn't in the first run through)

and tbh. that mightve been because cathy just. died. which isnt really something you can just get over even if its been awhile. it still hurts, still something that lingers. an unexpected pain. or at least, a scar.

like. i cant imagine how hopeless it must've felt to be right there. to watch her die and be unable to stop it. and like. obviously since this is a mark who has also gone through that and is now in this timeline (although doesnt remember).. a part of him is still kinda feeling that loss, and also having done all this before that makes it feel pointless. and like he shouldnt try as hard, cause whats the point, right? what does it matter?

anyway im sad. im going to go back to watching the stream. (also cathy is my favorite i love her so much sduifhfeuhds

[mijikai12]

BIENVENIDOS!!!!

hola chicos!! this is my main blog and this pinned post is also a more updated and simpler than the og!!

warning: LONG POST ⚠️⚠️⚠️

BLOGS ->

Main: @mijikai12

Vent: @kayventa

Reblogging: @mijikai12-reblogs

Ask(1): @just-ask-finn

Ask(2): @the-prismo-ask-blog

Com!/Colab/Art: @yoki-san

MusicBased: @cheryap

where you can also find me ->

spotify

wattpad

youtube

instagram

twitter

details ->

i am a minor (13) and my birthday is March 2nd! 🎂

i am a aromantic lesbian

i have adhd and some autism

im an extrovert mainly around people i know. but i am literally forcing myself to interact with people (i swear it actually works omfg)

i go by Kayla

i love talking to people here.

i joined i think in september or october.

i play flute, piano, and a bit of recorder

my favorite colors are 💚🖤🤍❤️

i like weirdcore

im a big adventure time fan

im open for asks

im in seventh grade

i like to draw, animate, make music, and write!

she/them/green

im a Pieces

i'm hispanic

i speak english + spanish

MAIN OC'S!!!!!!:

Mijikai Tsocka(mascot): she is a bunny hybrid bc of course. i gues she was tested on or something, i havent quite figured her lore yet. she's a she/them 16 lesbian female.

Sarahnah Dandila(princess): She's fucking annoying anyways; she is a she/her 23 straight female. She's princess of whatever idk i dont have a name for the kingdom yet. (most parent standard hehe)

Mattie Sercel: He's a he/it 21 bisexual trans (least parent standard haha) he's in college and majors in 3D art and animation.

okay! i really hope you enjoy my blog!! i cant wait to meet yall and to get into situations id rather die than be in!! 😊

edits below:

edit1: guys i made a Neobook account!! i dont know what shit to do there so it might be empty for a while.

edit2: im trying to make an ao3 account. i should be on by 1/30

edit3: i know ive already said this but my reblogs are slowly being deleted. so my art posts will go to Yoki while normal text/memes/etc posts will go here (≧∇≦)

edit4: i lied in that last edit. anyways, i am gonna make an insta soon (maybe tonight) and i might make a Pinterest account! 😆

edit5: I MADE AN INSTAAAA

edit6: i have a twitter if you didnt notice

edit7: AO3 DOESNT LIKE MEEE

edit8: i have a gf omggg i'll be posting a lot about it at @kayventa

edit9: yeah ao3 does NOT like me wow. anyways, so springbreaks coming up soon. i'll post about this on thursday or friday ✌🏽

edit10: ive had an c.ai account for months ive posted about it idk if yallve seen it yet 😒

edit11: i found out a few days ago that when ao3 said i'd be on by 1/30, they didnt mean 1/30/24, they meant 1/30/25. wtf

[whore4billie]

NEVER BE THE SAME - C.S 2

Warning(s)- language i think thats it the next part might have smut if your lucky ;)

Summary- You and Chris have been friends for as long as you can remember. You guys are attached at the hip and you have been since 7th grade. You rarely spend any time apart you always sleep at his house to the point you forgot what your own bedroom looked like, but you didnt care and neither did he. Lately things with Chris have been great, you were closer then ever! But it felt.. different. Not neccisarily bad different but still different nonetheless. You were slowly but surely catching feelings for him. Butterflies whenever he said your name, blushing when he smiled at you, heart beating faster whenever you guys cuddled, but it couldnt happen right? He would never feel the same we've been friends for far to long, right? Wrong.

Guys this is carrying on from straight after where part1 ended

-CHRIS'S POV-

"Y/n" i whisper, maintaining eye contact with her. I take a deep breath and a smile forms on his face. The butterflies in my stomach intensify and turn a bright shade of red. I turn my head to look away so that she doesn't notice how flustered i am. What am i doing, i ask myself. Im ruining our friendship and i highly doubt she feels the same. We've been friends for far too long for this to be real. My heart feels like its beating out of my chest and I want to run but i know wherever im going, shes going to come with me.

-Y/ns POV-

I feel like im about to die. Hes confusing the fuck out of me and hes messing with my head but i cant blame him because he doesnt even know that hes doing it. Thats it im saying something. I take a couple steps back from him and put my hand on my forehead, pacing back and forth.

"Chris what the fuck are we doing" i ask him in a shouting whisper.

He moves closer to me, and rests his hand on my thigh. Well fuck. I think to myself. His eyes are intense, like hes staring into my soul. He looks like he knows exactly what he's doing. "Were doing us" his voice is still calm and low, his breath tickles your arm.

"What exactly is us?" Im practically hyperventilating but hes confusing the living fuck out of me.

"Me and you" he still hasnt made a move to kiss me and its frustrating, I can see the want in his eyes, hes been waiting for the right moment. I can feel his breath on my face as he speaks again. "Were not friends right now... I want more" I want to respond, I want to jump up and throw myself at him, but I cant. My mouth has completely dried out as I try to put my fingers through my hair. I want him to kiss me.

"Its okay, you dont have to say anything" he says with a soft smile on his face. That smile made me feel lightheaded. My head was filled with only one thought, I want him. But you cant bring yourself to admit that to him. You want him to kiss you. You want him to make the move not you. You sit there in silence, letting the moment breathe, neither of you looking away.

A/N- soooo what r we thinkingggggggg gimme predictions for the next part

@recklesssturniolo @caroline12b @chrisfavoritepepsi @mattscokewhore @sturnioloshacker @freshloveforthefit @whatever1021 @carolsturns1 @carolinalikesthings @mangoposts @sturniozo @luvmxtt @nickdevora

[unusual]

idek how much i’ve talked about this entire situation on here but i need to get this off my chest and maybe even get some advice…? ty if you end up reading this i really genuinely appreciate it

tldr im estranged from my adoptive mother because she doesnt respect me at all/never considers me part of the family and is extremely on and off with her affections depending on how successful or impressive i am to her (in the sense that when it comes to things like getting good grades or going into remission or getting into college shes “happy” for me because she thinks my success is a reflection of her own ability to parent me and “turn me into a winner” while completely turning on me when im doing poorly or need help and calling me a manipulative demon etc lol)

shes financially abusing me and my dad right now and has been for about 3 years because she hasnt worked a day in her life and my dad for a few years was having success at his job so when she divorced him she took all of our money from us and said she needed more for reasons that were not real (like she asked for 50k to pay for my college and then refused to actually do it so we had to take out a loan etc) its to the point where she makes more money than my dad does working basically 24/7 on call just because we have to pay her so much every month, it was really painful and stressful trying to put me into school because we actually don’t have a place to live rn and cant afford to get one because of her strange actions

about five months ago my dad literally begged her to let me stay with her for all of july because he wanted to make sure i had a place to sleep and he was traveling on business for all of that month, and after a lot of convincing (literally until like the day before i was supposed to go) she said yes and then started ignoring me and refusing to feed me after like four days because i asked her for help with the financial aid stuff.. so we had to reorganize all our plans and stuff like are you noticing a pattern where everything she does is entirely self serving and always ends up inconveniencing us majorly to the point where our livelihoods are at stake. anyway she did that like just over a month ago (july 5 was when my dad was like this is isnane im just going to pick you up and we’ll figure something out) and locked herself in her room like a baby and texted my dad all these things about how i was evil (verbatim) and a mistake and deserved to die from cancer and shit like that BECAUSE I ASKED HER FOR HELP WITH STUFF AHE SAID SHE’D HELP WITH… and now (like as of a few days ago) shes doing this thing where shes texting me cat memes and sending my little brother (who lives with her and who i really care about) to tell me to call her because she wants to hear from me etc and i genuinely am kind of at a point where i don’t ever want to talk to her again under any circumstances because of everythign she’s done to hurt me and my dad (including like 98% that i didn’t even mention here) but i feel semi obligated to because im lonely and shes kind of really good at making me feel guilty… my dad said dont even worry about it because im supposed to be locking in this semester and focusing on my own success and he thinks shes going to drag me down like she always does but idk what to do in this situation

[plaguery]

ok im ready to talk about my mommy didnt die high school dmc au + romy i think.

okay my eva was a part of a laveyan satanist type sect in the late 60s into the early 70s. black masses and such but its all for show, theyre not genuine theists and arent conjuring shit. she was doing post grad studies in classic language and literature. sparda began briefly investigating her sect after strange murders in the area were being pinned on the group and he quickly found out they were innocent of the crimes. but he was intrigued by eva and started attending their meetings just to talk to her. hed run into her at underground bars and she enchanted him and they fell in love wahtever blah blah blah. eva finishes her studies and gets her doctorate then they find out shes pregnant and they settle down. everything plays out like normal for a few years except she doesnt die and continues raising the twins alone. with spardas fortune and freelance work translating ancient texts, shes able to keep the family afloat.

ive mentioned before that i like the idea that she kind of "unschooled" the twins but more in the way of she just let them take charge of their own education, they were both wildly curious and she just supplied them with the books and supplies for them to fuck around and find out in all their favorite subjects. in her mind, the twins would never be able to go to a normal school.

since eva didnt die trish wouldnt ever come to exist but i want her to exist so in this ive actually made her eva's niece. eva isn't really in contact with her family, she came from a pretty well to do old money family and they disagreed with a lot of her life choices. she broke away from them pretty young. trish is about the twins' age here, a little older, and the new family "delinquint". she starts making trouble in her family too and ends up finding a way to contact eva for her help. eva takes her in and enrolls her in a private school in town

as the twins approached the high school years, dante started pushing for them to follow trish's footsteps and go to actual high school. vergil was against it. but after enough of dante's pestering and with their abilities largely in control at this point, she gave in and enrolled them as well for their sophomore year.

this is all happening in about the late 80s

dante: he is excited for school and wants to be involved in everything. every seasonal sport, drama, mathletes, etc. he struggles to balance all the extracurriculars he wants to do. he could theoretically be popular if only he didnt hang around the weird kids. early on, popular kids were interested in him and he gave them a try out of his curiosity but quickly dumped them after they tried talking shit about vergil with him. again, dante struggles to balance everything but he keeps his grades up and does particularly well in math. he keeps trying and failing to start a band. after vergil tried growing out his hair once, dante followed suit. upon noticing this, vergil quickly cut his own hair back to length again but dante has continued to grow his out. eventually it grows well past his shoulders much to the school faculty's chagrin. hes forced to wear it up while on school property.

vergil: vergil from the start was strongly against going to school and his aversion to the idea only grew once he began attending. even in his preferred subjects, such as literature, he mostly gets poor marks because he refuses to do the homework and participate in class. he does alright in his foreign language classes as he doesnt have to do much to pass, ending up in advanced latin. after trying to grow out his hair to stand out from dante and failing, he cut it again and dyed it black, shocking everyone else at the breakfast table the following morning. dressed in all black, he seems to be falling into the goth scene on his lonesome. he doesn't participate in any extracurriculars and is forced to mull about in town for hours after school waiting for dante to finish up so they can walk home.

trish: although trish should have graduated already, she's still in her junior year after being held back a couple of years. the only classes she tries in are the sciences, but only during the labs. chemistry is her favorite. she likes observing but not reporting. she's close enough with eva and grateful to her for taking her in. teen trish is a hot head and she bickers a lot with the twins, often making fun of them and making snide comments. she doesnt do extracurriculars either but avoids hanging out with vergil. after some time, she tries to get a part time job after school to save for a car and has to let dante handle her money so that she doesnt spend it all. she crimps her hair and looks like a poorly done madonna impersonation. she often skips classes and smokes in the back of the school. shes a loner who doesnt really belong to any other group but acts like shes better than vergil anyways because at least she goes to parties. she has actually never been invited to the parties in question, she just eavesdrops on people for the details, shows up, goes under the radar to steal away some booze and watch people make fools of themselves.

lady/mary: mary is also a new sophomore with the twins, but is a transfer student on an athletics scholarship. she just moved with her dad to the city. shes been a dedicated gymnast since she was young. so dedicated in fact, it seems to be all she cares about, also ending up a loner. just one that no one ever seems to see hanging around. shes always in the gym outside of class. those who have met her in class tend to not like her and say that shes moody. after being paired up with dante as lab partners for the year, they end up as somewhat of friends after discovering a shared interest in weaponry. she starts sitting with dante and vergil at lunch occasionally, not talking much outside of responding to dante. she chirps up more when that trish girl rolls around to smack the twins over the head and then the two girls end up in a back and forth. by their junior/senior year, mary and trish end up in a classic homoerotic teenage friendship.

romy/rosemary: romy is another one of the school's loners and used to be The Resident Goth until vergil showed up in her sophomore year. she attends the school on an academic merit/financial need scholarship, otherwise living in a trailer park. outside of school, she wanders off on her own into the nearby woods to do her homework and study what she can on demonology and magic. she is in advanced latin with vergil, although they never talk. one time shes working on engraving a sigil into the ground when she hears a noise, finding vergil behind her. he interrogates her but she brushes him off. it is not until their junior year after her family trailer burns down that rumors start spreading about what exactly caused the blaze. all the students blame romy and she becomes even more ostracized. but they arent exactly wrong either. romy was able to achieve her first conjuring in her home when her family was out, just with a little collateral damage. this prompts vergil to start pushing his investigations of romy further. she eventually readily tells him the truth. romy does not uncover his true nature, but an "interest" in devils that they share and they slowly start hanging out after school. eventually, she joins the lunch table with vergil, dante, mary, and the occasional trish. romy doesn't skip but does take smoke breaks during passing periods and such at the back of the school, running into trish. trish finds her weird, but unlike with vergil its in a mysterious way with romy. trish probably has a weird gay crush on romy that she doesnt recognize to herself and she reacts to this by just being mean to romy.

[armandcock]

waittt I lowkey need to hear more about christian cult member armand turning journalist daniel into his new husbandfather au...

okay it gets kinda long but

•armands in a cult that marius & santino run & hes being groomed i mean trained to be the leader when they die & when hes old enough will marry one to bear his successor etc

•armand is trans in this au its pretty important

•as such hes been raised with really strict ideas regarding sexual purity & behavior & his relationship to other men because hes still 'technically a woman' (hes allowed to cut his hair & be called by his preferred name n pronouns but cant really transition otherwise

•daniel shows up because hes writing an article about cults or whatever

•daniel meets armand through the investigation & armands been raised in this super strict hypercelibate culture after marius 'adopted' him on a 'missionary trip' where its fine if marius fucks him because hes his father :) the spiritual head of the household :) & will pick out a husband for darling armand one day :) daniel i hope its you

•daniels article gets published & the cult is disbanded

•armand fr Doesnt know any other people so hes like daniel :( can you be my guardian now :( & daniels like okay sure til you find a job & house & whatnot

•armand moves in with daniel night one is confused because daniel gave him his own room & wont hover around monitoring what he does & doesnt make him read the bible or aristotle before he goes to bed & isnt touching him

•armand starts freaking out because he went from this tightly knit religious group very strict rules & guidelines & hes like i need someone to tell me what to do what am i doing wrong why do i not have commandments to memorize

•daniel realizes he may have made a mistake agreeing to be armands guardian because now he has this grown adult man sitting beside him in bed shaking & sobbing & asking daniel to absolve him of his sins & daniel did NOT sign up for that!

•like i cannot emphasize enough how much armand at this point does not have a basis for 'normal' behavior because hes been groomed to be so entirely dependent upon what his 'guardian' says & danie is very conflicted because 1) he doesnt wanna just be a replacement for the cult 2) armand is really really hot & basically just told daniel he can use him uowever he wants & follow all his rules & GOD does daniel really want to fuck him

•through herculean effort daniel doesnt fuck him even though armand asks him to do these 'rituals' to 'ensure his purity & route to heaven' (read: checking to make sure hes still a virgin, sending him to other 'leaders' to have sex with, etc)

•you know those cards ppl have that are like. pledging yr virginity to God til marriage. armand has one of those but it didnt count whem its his religious leaders bc thats how cults work

•'how can he be a virgin but have still had sex w marius' backdoor doesnt count

•anyway armand learning about modern life & culture he gets a library card & starts testosterone he still really wants daniel to fuck him & daniel lets him cuddle him & get handsy cause it grounds him & its getting really hard not to but daniel doesnt know if he actually wants to hit or just expects him to to fulfil his duties

•gets caught jerking off to daniels boxers

•daniel realizes Oh This Kid Is A Grade A Freak even outside of the cult

•they do end up having sex eventually but the burn is SLOW as FUCK & theres sooo much sexual tension & conflict

•oh yeah armand has a therapist named barbara