theunexpectedness

[theunexpectedness]

“Temporary stitches” all stitches are temporary if you have a pair of scissors and aren’t a coward

[theunexpectedness]

OZLANA x SHFW

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I'm the guy in every movie who steals plot-important items from people's pockets by bumping past them on the sidewalk. Yeabh that's me. It's a living

[theunexpectedness]

Someone at an old job asked why I wanted to write up the meeting minutes for our team and I said 'i wanna control the narrative' and they were like 'what' and I pointed out that no one was gonna remember what we said in six months and so my interpretation of the meeting would dictate the assumed reality of what happened

"none of you ever send corrections when I offer the draft so y'all have consented to my version"

"we don't read that shit"

"you must trust me implicitly to create our shared reality that's so sweet"

That's how several coworkers decided I was a supervillain and how I learned several coworkers didn't understand record keeping as like a CONCEPT

[theunexpectedness]

just saw they're bringing back extreme home makeover, and I was excited at first, because as a kid I fucking loved that show. then, I realized the best part almost certainly won't go as hard in a new version. there is no way we're seeing hyper specific kids' bedroom theming like in the good old days. if a kid says they like cars now they'll probably get a minimalist car poster on one wall, but back in the day they wouldn't be able to escape the car. car bed, car rug, car wallpaper, hell car windows! they would theme that shit like it was disney world. only the 2000s could pull off that kind of tacky hardcore maximalism though. the beige parents now will interfere...

[theunexpectedness]

514 year old ancient and powerful vampire with god like powers,,,, has a pouty little brat face

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when the fic starts getting so good you gotta roll over in bed

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The showdown that was always meant to be.

Finally! I have planned this for like a while now, but there was always something I wasn’t satisfied with. I am still not exactly satisfied, but at least I seem to quite like this…I guess.

Anyway, the most breathtaking and amazing fight scene in the history of animation *_*

Hope you’ll like this..and I hope I didn’t mess it up too much haha

[theunexpectedness]

if i tell yall what i did on the tram today yall would call it a fake tumblr story i think

[theunexpectedness]

I know a lot of y'all need to hear this, but if you only "accept and respect" asexual and aromantic people by thinking there's a chance they can feel sexual and romantic attraction, then you're not accepting and respecting asexual and aromantic people at all.

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everyone is always like "jason kills people who have premarital sex because the movies support conservative values" or "jason kills people who have premarital sex because the movies are criticizing conservative values"

why is it never "why do people keep having sex near the cursed lake with the undead guy" or "how can we be so sure that he only targets couples having premarital sex and not just sex in general, what if it's just sampling bias"

[theunexpectedness]

[theunexpectedness]

You know you've fucked up when you go to a doctor and the thing you have wrong with you has been named after an occupation that isn't a thing anymore. Like imagine a doctor looking at you and going "yeah you've got ox-drawn ploughman's disease. We don't even test for that anymore. Yeah the reason you've never heard of it is because the last known case was in 1927 and happened to some guy who was like 98 years old and didn't believe in modern medicine of the time. What the fuck have you been up to."

[theunexpectedness]

what is HAPPENING

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here's the story. i know expressvpn has been recommended in some 🏴‍☠️ how-to posts but it is not trustworthy. the parent company, kape technologies, not only used to distribute malate but has ties to multiple state surveillance agencies. and be careful where you look for info about good vpns, because kape technologies owns a bunch of "vpn review" sites too

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[theunexpectedness]

You always wanted to be a Healer. Unfortunately, your dad was an Necromancer and your mother a Demon Summoner. So your healing was a bit… unconventional to say the least.