#so longer than any of my other art
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Alr you want art reqests here you go:
1 saheran spy, possibly spy infltrating the pyramids for money or that cool sand tornado effect (from the saheran spy item set)
2 marasmus (possibly casting some spells?)
3 unrelated to tf2 but hhgreag guy ftom redoin? (Look it up)
Pick the one you want to draw the most
sorry this took 5000 million bajilion years but i underestimated how much rendering i wanted to
here it finally is tho!!!
zoom-ins under cut >:3
i'm ngl i'm really proud of how this turned out, i really put my all into it :3 i hope you like it
the text around the magic thing just says "magic spell" in latin btw
#tf2#tf2 fanart#wolfart asks#tf2 merasmus#personal fav#teeheeeee#I've worked on this for like a week#straight#so longer than any of my other art#if this flops I'm gonna (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) cast a spell on a bagel
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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day 2 - energy / life / green
#alek art#lego ninjago#ninjago#ninjago inktober 2024#morro wu#sensei wu#tw blood#cw blood#(ask to tag)#2024#was very unsure how to tag this piece... i definitely won't be able to do as many of these as i'd like (joints)#but its still something to look forward to. gonna do which ones speak to me 🔥#yes this is based of jesus and the virgin mary. why? not entirely sure. not meant to be any religious connections here#just the loss of a child and destinies. maybe there is a religious connection here#ft my very inconsistent young wu design. also morro is around 15 here ? i refuse to draw a child (its hard) and hes not himself in s5#thinking about how thats wu's son... i think of wu and get very sad. so many losses so soon after each other. mostly preventable.#the ribbon here is a hc of mine. after losing garm he started wearing purple to honor him. timeline strangeness i know#not meant to be any set period of time. just overall loss#originally was going to draw IIoyd for this one but i had this idea and went swinging#typed out most of these tags before acfually finishing the drawing oops#the colors are a little strange (blue light filter when i catch you) uhm .. also wu's hat kicked my ass#THIS TOOK SEVEN HOURS !!! which is longer than usual oops
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(Open for better quality)
Lyrics from:
#myart#ultrakill#ultrakill oc#mech#robot#god this… ouhhh… yeah#I finished it after beating Gabriel!! the first time.. after 37 tries…#I am sooo normal rn about everything#I love when the oc I made on a whim gets cooler art than my rw guys who’ve been around longer#also the wings and behind the eyes and any other glowy parts becoming increasingly orange because they’re prone to overheating which is#also an indicator for them being angry and I think it makes them look so evil#Spotify
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genuinely i am fucking speechless after seeing that art and cassie confirming it as a scene from tlkof like
#i dont even know what i could say right now#other than what the fuck??????#like she just went and did that#DURING PRIDE#like this is NOT on#my emotions cannot take this any longer#stop playing with my feelings cassie#i will genuinely sob so hard when i read that scene#(just as i have cried about this art just now)#<- im a fucking cry baby but seriously this shit made me so emotional#my sister made me tea to calm me down#she the real mvp#kit herondale#ty blackthorn#kit x ty#kitty#the dark artifices#the wicked powers#tda#twp#tsc
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Took me a while to figure out what I wanted to see you draw, but I think I got it now:
Would you be able to draw a character of your choice being "bear"-hugged by a Hildebear (haha see what I did there)? I feel like it might be excellent for comedy purposes, and I know how much you adore them :P
Thank you in advance :3
See, now you're starting to see why they're so cool, their arms were made for bear hugs :3 (surely your character would be inclined to agree, right? /s)
(but also, it would be a crime to miss an opportunity to draw Ralsei)
Thank you for the request! I feel closer to the Hildebears already :D
#i'm sure your FOmar would adore these cuddly friends /s#this weekend i learned traumatizing others' ocs is fun#i did not mean to spend as long as i did on the first one but i was having fun#pso is a bit anime-y (esp the concept art) so i've been trying to match that#i kinda(?) borrow elements of anime/manga in my non-realistic art but i almost never draw it directly so this was new#that's why this one took so long; i spent a lot of time experimenting with the tones/hatching/effects#i still shaded it like i do any other drawing though so it's kind of my normal work with a little bit extra plopped on top#idk how well it worked but i tried haha#the second took me like ten minutes lmao#that's all of them so far so i'll leave the requests open a little longer than last time :D#will be closing them thursday night though!#requests#ralsei#deltarune#FOmar#hildebear#phantasy star online
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Fellas can you take this somewhere else. Maybe. Just not in the fucking halls. Thanks 🫡
I couldn't resist drawing out these tags I wrote on a dif post LMFAO
Moe just has...... SO many problems.......
Close-ups of my fave shots!
The elusive Líf...
#fire emblem#feh#i'm like. split between feeling proud of this and feeling So Over It LMFAOOOOOOO#which is why. lighting could be better. but i don't care enough to put in more work than i already have LMFAOO#LIKE... ONE COOL PART is this could be my first fully colored comic piece w completely original dialogue???#where like. i didn't quit at any point of it. EXCEPT. skimping on the backgrounds. but again. more effort than i'm willing to put in#but i think it still counts bc my only real plan was to have the askr pillars/walls as framing/backdrops#ALSO the characterization... in the panel where lif walks into frame. it's SO fun to me#they both look at lif. but moe is Not subtle about it. looking directly at him. while alfonse side-eyes him.#and the most IMPORTANT detail. is that alfonse and lif are making the same kind of face. like 🤨#there is SO MUCH POTENTIAL. in alfonse and lif sharing facial expressions. in having the same knee-jerk reactions to things.#and it's espppp fun to figure out bc you're only working w half of lif's face. it's all in the eyes/brows and SOMETIMES!#SOMETIMES!!!! it's in the nose! in this illust he is more relaxed/resting so you don't see it here#but i'm TELLING you. adding some scrunch to the nose can add soooo much expression-wise#this took longer than i expected it to. also. which is why i'm so over it LMFAOO#but i do think the extra time was worth it... first run of the last panel was too lighthearted/jokey#capturing some conflict between moe/alfonse was the right choice. in how intensely this starts off (tonally)#AND! in showing how they do butt heads at times. in fact sometimes they clash REALLY badly!!!!#which is actually so huge bc i've wanted to capture this since the beginning. how they're so similar but also so opposite#that a lot of times! they understand each other deeply and cover each other's basis. HOWEVER.....#other times. it's just catastrophic. like it isn't That intense here but you can probably see how it goes horribly wrong.#i am... always thinking about it.... and only occasionally stressing myself out about it LMFAOOO#fe alfonse#fe lif#moe tag#summoner oc#my art#my comics
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Haunted // Love Affair With A House 🏡💌
#digital art#artists on tumblr#illustrators on tumblr#original character#original illustration#sasha's art#this one took much longer than i expected it to because well. thats how things go sometimes#there was a time in my life when i was going through years of abuse and felt like i had no way out of that#this led me to become uncaring and reckless and i was very impulsive at the time#there was this big old abandoned hospital in my home town that was not that far from my parents house#by this point in life i felt like i had lost all relationships with people previously close to me and i was not making any new ones out of-#-fear but also because i was isolationg myself (unknowingly)#because i was a child i percieved exploring this building as doing something Unsafe and Dangerous (and i guess it was in the sense that-#-things could fall on me if i wasn't careful)#but anyway i decided going there was going to be my Safe Place#as abandon buildings seem to be so seductive to teenagers it turned out this place was already a popular hang out spot for many teens#so i decided my best course of action would be to sneak out of my room at night/ dawn and go do art at this place when it was safe from-#-other teens lmao#it made me feel Edgy and Cool and Dangerous (even though looking back this was one of the safest activities i was engaging in lmao)#anyways#i replaced all my close human relationships with an abandoned house at the time (maybe theres a metaphor in there somewhere but. i do not-#(-want to see it)#at the time the thing i wanted the most in the world was to die and this was the place it was supposed to happen#luckily i made a deal with myself for ten more years and this ended up saving my life#so i have many mixed emotions about this place. it was there for me when i was at my lowest and loneliest. it was supposed to be my last#a few years ago i took my two best friends there (hadn't told them this story then yet) and i had a wonderful day and felt Loved#it was a weird feeling to feel there#i decided not to take them into the house and i don't think i will ever go in again#but i am glad i had it back when i needed it i guess#i wonder if theres still any of my old art supplies hidden about somewhere
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OCtober day 31 - costume 🐶🤕🧟🧛
i've drawn my hellebores a lot this event so i figured i'd end on them too‼️around halloween time tip and jerza don't even need to disguise themselves, but i made them dress up anyway c:
3 days late but i did it!!! i've completed all the mandatory days and now halloween can officially end 😈🎃 ty for the fun event everyone, i've rlly enjoyed seeing everyone's characters 🫶
#2024#bweirdOCtober2024#bweirdOCtober#oc-tober#day 31#art#original#my art#my ocs#hellebore#teo#(<- he/they)#isaac#isa#(<- he/him)#tomatip#tip#jerza#(<- both she/her)#i am once again sorry for my tags being so long i just like organising things ok dkfj#isa and tip being known mostly by their nicknames doesn't help either bc it means i gtta put both down lmao#i rlly didn't intend for this to b submitted so late ndndj#ig it took longer than i thought bc i usually draw 2 ocs max#it doesn't look that complicated but i had to correct a lot of lil details too 😵#oh well i'm free now!#oc art for the year has been completed and i can go back to completing the pokedex again gehehe#first time drawing jerza properly too#she will always b drawn at that angle btw bc. i do not know how to draw her any other way 🥴🥴
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ahaaa. redraw of this oldass drawing
#art#my art#digital art#digital illustration#fanart#gintama fanart#sakata ginko#sakata gintoki#gintama#this took me longer than it shouldve#what can i say im lazy as fuck#idk if ive said it here before but it always bares repeating: none of my art is finished im just finished with all my art#i dont go into any piece with like a vision of it im goin purely off vibes n i stop when i think theres nothin else i can do other than jus#startin over#so im not like suuuper happy w this but i do like it better than the original#ur allowed to like the og better but dont tell me bc itll make me sad lmao#haaated the hair & face on the og & i am satisfied w both now#also the lil thing of the pattern was sooo fun to draw i almost put way too much fuckin time into that i actually feel like i did anyways#but im srs its so fun#the strawberry was a pain i made a no strawb vers n i kinda like it more but. i gotta post the strawb version#i put too much effort into the strawberry. and yet. not enough. basically i gave up ✌#its what i do best#um. i might make more gintama art. sorry lol#ik i said it like in the tags on my last post the lil sneak of this piece but like sorry if u followed me for any fandom in particular#i lure u in w 1 good piece for ur fav media & then i disappear for months & come back w a completely different fandom#bait wait and switch#anyways lmfao thats the post
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#i feel like i can't feel any emotion normally#like i know that can be a thing with autism but i don't know if i have autism but i may#but i also certainly have adhd is it a thing with adhd?#anyway basically part of the reason i'm always so distraught is because i literally just#feel like i'm stressed literally always and can't read a single mean comment or anything without#feeling it for weeks#the other day youtube recommended me some random rage bait#it was like 'old pagan lady whinges at bad handicrafts' or some shit#and then it was just an old british woman drinking wine and bitching#and she specifically was bitching about resin#and saying that no one should support resin jewelry because it's plastic and it takes no skill because all you're doing is pouring#resin into a mold#so it doesn't even really count as art it's basically just manufactured#and i went into the comments hoping someone would defend me and it was just like wall to wall people agreeing and#calling resin artists immoral people#and making fun of it#it felt like mad at you island but real#and literally the entire rest of teh day i was ideating suicide more than usual#and even still i feel like i'm no longer allowed to make my own art#because of some randos online#again just not normal emotions#shrimp emotions actually#they come on so so so hard and don't go away i get depressed at the tiniest thing
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early op/dc au fic plot points
in honor of finding my notes finally after five months have passed since writing them and after i just wrote out a huge block of what happens during part one of the fic relying entirely on memory and wit alone, here are some freebie things-that-will-definitely-happen (and just random Things to throw in between) to think over while i'm trying to get back into writing this fic
also tagging @kiteou who created jason/sabo and 100% inspired this verse (please look at their ship art it's all so impeccably goooood)
sabo wears make-up to cover his scar when he goes crime fighting and chooses to hunt criminals in a distant district of gotham to avoid being recognized since he doesn't wear a mask
though he doesn't weak a mask, he does adorn a large tophat with a wide brim and uses the shade to conceal his face from view; when he runs into jason and snarls about a hero not posibly wearing a fucking full-face helmet mask, jason argues back about protecting his identity and accuses sabo of being a hypocrite since his hat also hides his face
jason quotes old literature sabo has never heard of when he's trying to make the most of a situation (so rarely) and sabo scribbles illegible-chicken-scratch words in tattered notebooks when he needs to vent about Life in general (it's maybe his goal at some point to create an autobiography of life in gotham and how much It Sucks, Bad™)
sabo using a metal pipe as his choice weapon reminds jason of damian (he's in his bo staff days) in kind of a fond but wary way - this does not last; at some point the pipe scraping against concrete or brick sets jason off, triggering something in his subconsciousness bad enough to make him lose focus in a fight, and it gets to the point where he tells sabo they can't fight together anymore if he's gonna continue to use the pipe as a weapon
ace and sabo are 19 in the beginning because it takes place in fall, and jason is newly 20 - because of this, sabo is 5'9 and ace 6'0 but sabo wears platform and heeled (the heel is inside so it's not visible) boots when he plays vigilante so he's taller than jason by a couple inches; at some point when ace meets jason he implicates sabo's true height and sabo shouts at him (shut the fuck up, ace!) before ace can finish; even later on, sabo ends up at jason's apartment and when his shoes come off, he stands shorter than jason, much to jason's surprise; sabo admits gruffly that being over six foot makes a person more intimidating, which is his goal at night when facing off with criminals, but also insists that he's still growing (which he is, and eventually he doesn't need the boots to stand at 6'2 properly); even though ace is (barely) taller than sabo (just like he's barely older than sabo), he's still shorter than jason, which rubs him the wrong way (and sets off the comment about sabo's alleged height)
while ace is just trying to survive in gotham, owing nothing to the city that's chewed them both up in childhood and spit them back out again in adolescence, sabo chooses vigilantism in a bid to 'just do what's right, or at least try to'
^ going with this, ace and sabo both have awakened meta-genes that grant them fire powers; ace got his first and is proficient in using his powers - in contrast, sabo develops his after his accident that leaves a portion of his upper body scarred, and refuses to train or even try and control/subdue his powers at all due to his intense fear of fire; this causes daily strife because ace should be able to coach sabo through developing (or at the very least, getting under control) his powers so they don't cause accidents all the time, being the more experienced and honed of the two, but because he's never willing to overstep and always afraid of reigniting sabo's trauma, he never pushes sabo toward what should be the reasonable solution
aaaaaaaa smth smth jason being more experienced in relationships but none of them ever going well, versus sabo who's never been in love and doesn't know how to act, doesn't know how to be vulnerable in front of another person (who's not ace, but even then) or what's considered normal for their relationship status, and eventually having to tell all of this to jason to dispel some worries threatening to make him sick; jason tries his best to insist that sabo doesn't need to act a specific or certain way and that they were going to figure this out together and find what worked for them; in the beginning their "romantic" relationship is super dysfunctional and not much different from their status before when they were just friends, but it slowly becomes more functional when they start to clue in to what they and each other want out of this
i CANNOT find my notes which makes me sick (< actually i did!!! not long after i wrote this which makes me SO mad in hindsight) but in this verse jason runs around with roy harper and artemis crock, who are roughly the same age as him and sabo but have the dynamic they do in earth-16 when they're (sibling) in-laws, meaning, they get along like a tight pair and often will team up to lovingly tease jason whenever the opportunity present itself; when they're introduced to sabo, the initial reaction is them recounting ('oh so this is the boy you're always mentioning') various things jason has said about him and then low-key embarrassing the both of them with their teasing, so it takes a bit for sabo to warm up to them
after sabo is burned by a lighter and his make-up runs, jason believes his old face scars to be part of the fresh injury and rushes sabo to leslie's clinic to get seen; sabo is bandaged up and none of the staff ask questions about the vigilantism that would (tie him w illegal activity) but in the beginning when someone asks sabo a basic question in regards to the injury, sabo clams up; jason has to snap at him that (leslie) was a doctor and not the fucking cops, so would sabo please put an ounce of trust in someone for once and let them take care of him; sabo relents and lets himself be treated
when he arrives home with his eye covered, ace is shocked because sabo never lets anyone but ace bandage him up; ace asks what (the fuck) happened and sabo clams up, flinches back when ace tries to reach for the wrap, and snaps at him to leave it because an actual medical professional treated him for once; ace says smth like 'but you always let me patch you up' and sabo appeases him by saying he can redress the wound later when it needed changing, but right now, he wants it left alone; later ace gets to see the damage and immediately realizes sabo got burned which terrifies him, putting sabo's shying away from him earlier into a new light, and ace takes on a new perspective when he helps sabo tend to the injury in order to frighten sabo as little as possible
sabo lives with ace and rouge until zero year, when their apartment floods and rouge gets sick and eventually dies in the hospital without proper medical care; without rouge, neither of them go back to the house in coventry and instead spend most of the remainder of zero year in a church - despite spending a good portion of their upbringing from that point on around clergymen, sabo refuses to believe in a god that would let him and ace to suffer through life to the extent that they had, and when ace curses 'god damn' or 'oh god' sabo isn't even willing to humor it, always blunting insisting 'there is no god' that ace in turn always counters with 'it's an expression, sabo, it doesn't have to mean anything'
aaaaaaaand since i've been sitting on this intro for a good six months now here's a small actual written pv :)
(if tumblr blurs the ss just click on it and it'll clear up)
#op#dc#writing#little longer than intended but this is maybe 10% of the beginning so its fiiiiiine#idk how many yrs this fic is gonna span thru but tbh#i dont see either falling for e/o quickly or even in a normal amnt of time#its not slowburn but their relationship progression is slow af#somewhere in their twenties at least so sabo can cash in on the height diff bc its cute af to look at#anyway the last dc comic run i read in full was the dark knights of steel series....... DOES IT SHOW AAAAA#for anyone expecting this to be all one standardized timeline that makes sense: gonna disappoint you right now#do not set your expectations high bc dc verse has always been a mess n its not my job to sort thru it to write au fic#ig this is loosely post-2011 continuity (w/e earth number that is)#but also no its not bc there are elements from so many other things#im gonna regret shoving this one into the ao3 dc comics tag but in true xover ship fashion i will be doing so regardless#anyway x2 if any of this appeals to you PLSSSSS go look at kiteous art its so so sosososo good
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i think something moonage daydream was really good at doing was capturing a vibe
#sir.txt#the thing it was second best at was painting a picture... that movie is a watercolor rendition of a galaxy to me#i feel like the linear progression of bowie's life in the movie never being marked by any specific dates not even years... it gives it that#not cut and dry feeling. none of these events exist solely in one day of one year they are something that will span longer than ourselves#one day- a couple of hours- stretched into infinity simply by the fact that they were not confined within a date#i think that's something worthy of bowie. to be immortalized not through the medium itself but by how the medium refuses to cage him within#any set parameters that would be too extreme and unsatisfying for him would he be there to choose#instead letting him trespass all those barriers and just be and transcend#my boyfriend says the film is like bowies superstar cosmic journal well i say the film is like bowies watercolor rendition of a galaxy in#formation- and all the stars are still forming and the watercolor still hasn't dried as another layer is added so shades melt within-into-#each other#like how bowie refused to keep himself caged within one style one look one identity he surpassed all of those boundaries and transformed#into something else... it is only fair that the film capture it in a similar way... all of the flashy colors and editing is just a#projection of bowies spirit itself in all its vibrancy and extravagance without being supercilious#this movie was touching but also fun for the sake of fun and eccentric for the sake of eccentricity. it's a must watch for whoever loves#bowie at his most raw and unrestrained and undefined... i felt like falling through the screen to bw held by him at several moments#BECAUSE that's what the movie is it's the galaxy wrapping its arms around the unknowing astronaut#and welcoming them into itself because nobody in this reality is actually an outsider of life- nobody passively observes the universe-#that's something that i found very moving in the film was how bowie surpassed that feeling of all-encompassing loneliness that was#what propeled him to create art... and found acceptance and loving and understood he wasn't alien to all of it.#it's very moving again like i said. but specially movingfor someone like me who struggles so hard not to simply idly observe things and let#life reject me. I can't keep letting these things write themselves into existence over and over and maybe just maybe#that film helped me snap back into a higher sense of lucidity where i realise i have to take control of my life#but like. anyway.#bowies life is very mythologised but in part it is very much a self constructed myth which he himself took the time to skillfully architect#and its such that myth ceases to be only in suspension and untangible: bowie being extraterrestrial.#he.... he integrates so much into the planet he does become an energy traversing through earth. he becomes life itself but in the least self#important way this sentiment could be expressed.#there will never be another bowie- as there will never be another dylan or reed or lennon. there will never be circumstances which will come#but to quote the movie. his life hasnt ended. only changed. thats beautiful. anyways my tags are up
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I’m starting training for a new job in july. Honestly, I still can’t believe finding something would work so smoothly for me.
Today I tidied up my room and put some sketch books in our attic, and it felt good. I never looked at them anyways.
It’s not that I’m trying to get rid of this part of my life. I want it to coexist, but I don’t need all this clutter in my room any longer. I still have prints on my walls drawn by some of my favourite artists. I still have my art books displayed. I still have my own work on my shelfs and I am proud of them.
No matter how life continues. I will always be an artist. And I am so excited to try new things, now that I’m not dependent on it anymore. I can be a beginner again. Trying something new, failing without worry. I don’t have to be good enough any more.
For the longest of time, I finally feel at peace with myself.
#I never have made a better decision for my mental health than now#I tried so long to make it work being an artist#but all my struggles combined made it impossible to ever feel secure in my life.#no matter now many wins there were#I never felt like I was good enough#and now I can look at other peoples art#and instead of envy I just admire them#bc I don’t need to be this good any longer
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what i've been up to lately
#life update#art tag#concussion#yeah basically i got a concussion abouuut a month ago? a little longer?#its my second this year and is unsurprisingly full of complications#my coding prof has been less than forgiving so i have had to kinda#throw caution to the wind i guess#unsurprisingly as soon as it sunk in that i dont have any more coding i need to do today#i am fucking CRASHING#my head hurts and i keep getting waves of vertigo and light is not friendly on my eyes#plus im shaking a bit but that's been happening literally the whole time lmao#anyways. this sucks because i have other responsibilities. some of which need to get done today#rock and roll i guess
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25コ目の染色体 | RADWIMPS
忘れてた泣き方 でも 今ここにある何か 目を閉じても零れそうな気がして
I will die for you, and I will live for you I will die for you, there is nothing more that I could really say to you
#25コ目の染色体#radwimps#音楽#gif#my gifs#these tags are an open letter to radwimps#an apology of sorts for not posting in time for their major debut 19th anniversary#i've been sitting on this gifset for awhile#wondering if it was still ok to finish up & post#but i love this song#i love this band#and i want to shout it from the rooftops!#thinking a lot about yojiro's latest ig post and#maybe they didn't release any 'new' songs this year#(not even gonna get into yojiro's solo work but like! the parades ost! わたくしどもは ost! WONDER BOY'S AKUMU CLUB!!!!!)#but yes what a full & exciting year it has been anyway!#starting off with 正解 as a fresh take on an older song#the new arrangement & production - not to mention several different versions??#and as someone who had just graduated i cannot even convey how warm & happy it made me feel :')#then we've got a whole 'nother world tour !!!#TWO YEARS IN A ROW !!!!!! ARENA TOUR !!!!!!! HOW COOL IS THAT#from which the white day dream photobook was born btw!#a project & event overflowing with special memories#there was also the blt album release ! not just to dvd/blu-ray but to streaming as well !!#hearing the fans sing along with so much love to songs from years ago - prior even to their major debut -#really drove home just how timeless music can be#more than any other art form i think music is something that can be passed down from generation to generation#and stays with you during every stage of life - continuing to evolve with you#i know i'll be listening & singing along to radwimps' music with just as much fervor & love for years & years to the day i'm no longer here#old & new songs alike i'm so grateful for their music & proud of how far they've come & look forward to the direction they head into next 💕
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