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zippityzap · 4 years ago

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My Top Ten Favourite Moments in Sonic Games

The past 30 years the Sonic series has had a lot of memorable moments, too many to list fully, so in celebration of my recent follower milestone, today I’ll be presenting and explaining my personal top ten favourite moments. I would like to emphasise that this list is very subject and is highly influenced by my personal experiences with the Sonic series. It’s not intended to be objective by any means, and I would love to hear what moments you guys would put on your own lists! Additionally, this list is only for things from the games, in the future I’ll make another list for other Sonic media

Without further ado, let’s get started!

10) City Escape’s GUN truck

Interesting set pieces and small scripted moments in levels have been a staple in the Sonic series since the beginning. Sure, they’re not always challenging from a game-play standpoint, but they’re always an entertaining spectacle. One of the most ionic of these moments (and one of my personal favourites) is being chased by the GUN truck. City Escape is already a highly memorable level from the get-go, but the truck sequence is the cherry on top. An additional shout-out to both of the Generations versions of the level for not only bringing it back but changing it up just enough to surprise you and keep you on your toes!

9) Escaping Null Space

Forces is one of those games that I would describe as a truly mixed bag. Yeah, there are a lot of things about the game that kinda sucked or were disappointing, but when it hit a high, BOY did it hit. While I agree with many people that having the Null Space portion of this level actually have gameplay in it would’ve made this moment impact a little harder, I’m just in love with that transition from the silence of null space to the bombastic chorus of Fist Bump. I thought it was a really exciting moment that hypes you up for the rest of the level.

8) Sonic Heroes’ opening cinematic

Heroes was my first 3D Sonic game, and consequently it was my introduction to a lot of things that are staples for the Sonic series. Vocal themes, an extended cast and their interpersonal relationships, story routes that connect to each other. These are some of my favourite things about the Sonic series, so even if some aspects of the game aren’t that great, I could never ever hate or even dislike Heroes. I feel like the opening cinematic to Heroes (the one with the theme song as the music) is the aspect of Heroes that really encapsulates those feelings best. I must’ve spent hours as a kid letting it play over and over again singing along to it.

7) Shadow the Hedgehog (2004) title screen cinematic

Before you laugh, here is where I must remind you that this list is extremely subjective and highly influenced by my personal experiences and memories. Ok now imagine this: you are a 7-8 year old kid, and your experience with media that isn’t mainstream radio or educational children’s tv shows is fairly limited. You’re getting deep into the Sonic series for the first time thanks to playing Heroes and seeing some of the cartoons and you’re interested to know more about the series. You visit Sonic Central, the official site at the time, and they have a music player with a variety of songs from the games. One of the songs it plays is I Am (All of Me). I won’t lie, I was a little blown away because I’d never really heard anything like it before, so I go to find out more about the game it’s from and I come across that opening cinematic.

I think it’s very, very, easy as an adult to laugh at the Shadow the Hedgehog game and it’s… direction, but adult me was not the target audience of that game, kid me was. Say what you want but the effect that game was going for I think is something that just hits best with sheltered little kids, and I’d be curious if anyone else had a similar experience.

6) The ending of Sonic and the Black Knight

I won’t go into too much detail on this one, since this is very much a fan favourite moment and many others have gone into detail about why it’s so great. Black Knight is certainly one of the games that captures Sonic’s character the best, and his words at the end of the game certainly encapsulate this. Followed by the amazing credits theme of Live Life, the ending of Black Knight is certainly one of the most emotional moments in the series.

5) Sonic Generation’s credits

Anniversary games can be a bit of a controversial subject for the Sonic fandom; 06 was one of the games released for the 15th anniversary while Forces is often considered to be a 25th anniversary game. I think Generations really achieved the feeling and the specialness of a celebratory event though. It’s one of my favourite Sonic games and the whole game is full of brilliant moments but I feel the credits really evoke the celebration vibe: a Sonic 1-esque music melody as the credits song, showing footage from the original games each stage is from, and the cherry on top: a ‘Happy Birthday’ message to Sonic recorded from fans who attended the 2011 Sonic Boom and Summer of Sonic conventions. It genuinely warms my heart every time I finish the game.

4) Metropolis Capital City level

Forces gets another representation on this list! Honestly, I believe the parts of Forces that were exciting, such as this, really demonstrate my opinion that Forces had a lot of potential to be a really good game. But I digress, this was my favourite level from Forces because it shows how fun of a villain Infinite could be. The way that Infinite follows you for most of the stage and uses illusions to fuck around with the stage itself? That’s really fun, and it’s not just stage gimmicks for the sake of having a gimmick, it ties into the powers of the villain and makes the player feel involved in a way because Infinite is messing around with you specifically and is having to make to think on your toes. Granted, part of makes this stage stand out so much in a good way is because it’s so different from the rest of the game and it takes you by surprise, so maybe the impact wouldn’t be as hard hitting if this sort of design was used more in the game, but c’mon when you have a villain who’s powers are illusion-based, the sky’s the limit!

3) Sonic Unleashed’s opening cutscene

Can you believe this game came out over a decade ago and the opening cutscene still looks this stunning?! Depending on who you ask, some might even argue that this cutscene has yet to be topped, and honestly, I’m in that camp. Not only is the rendering beautiful and the choreography of the action exciting, but this scene does a wonderful job of setting up for the viewer regardless of how much prior experience they have with the series who Sonic and Dr. Eggman are, as well as setting up the events of the game. I recall being very happy when I heard the animation team for this cutscene would also be handling the animation for the movie.

2) Beating Sonic Unleashed for the first time

So, this is another pretty personal one. I played Unleashed for the first time a few years ago and it is in my opinion, one of the most difficult Sonic games. Sometimes intentionally, sometimes for completely bullshit reasons. My first ever run of Eggmanland was around 40 minutes long and apparently that’s considered a pretty decent time for your first go, but christ it was a nightmare to finish (looking at you, that one section where you have to platform on pipes without a drop-shadow). The following boss sections weren’t much easier- I don’t rage much with video games, I tend to whisper swears under my breath at most but that part where you’re running on the Gaia Colossus had me screaming in anger every time I lost a life.

BUT when I finally beat the difficult sections? Felt like finally cracking your back after feeling stiff all day. Like taking the first sip of water after a walk on a hot day. The relief and satisfaction I felt was indescribable and slowly winding down while Dear My Friend plays as the credits theme was blissful. I don’t play difficult games that often so Unleashed is one of very few games that I have this sort of memory with.

1) Watching my dad get the good ending of Sonic 1

Here’s a small amount of backstory for this pick. My dad got his first job at 19 and he used his first pay-check to purchase the then newly released Sega Mega Drive. He had a lot of games for the console including Sonic the Hedgehog. He kept the console and games in good condition, and they were still perfectly playable by the time his first child was born (aka me!). Sonic 1 was the first video game I can remember playing at roughly 2-3 years old. I wasn’t good enough to get past Green Hill Act 3 but I loved watching my dad play through the game.

I’ll admit; his playstyle’s a little odd, he avoids speed when he can and instead, he likes to search for as many rings and extra lives as possible, but it was so enjoyable to watch nonetheless. The best bit was whenever he would manage to get all the chaos emeralds in a playthrough and be able to get the good ending. Sure, the only difference between the good and bad endings is just some flowers, but it was nice to see him be happy that he was able to achieve that ending.

And that’s the end of my list! Upon looking over it I realise most of it is either openings or endings to games…oops. I suppose they tend to be parts of games that get special attention during development since they bookend the journey. When I get around to making the second list, I’m sure it’ll have more variety, and as I said before, I’d be very interested in hearing what everyone else’s favourite moments are!

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic forces #sonic unleashed #sonic heroes #sonic generations #long post

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ruby-assassin · 5 years ago

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Galton pride

this took me a whole year to write and i’m recyling mood boards....it’s a bad time for me

Nova looked up at the float. Tomorrow was Galton’s anual pride festival, and her team got their own float. “So, it came out nice.” She said looking at the fringe on the side and the signs and posters hung on it. Ruby had hung many “protect trans kids” poster as Oscar hung small bi flags on the elevated part they’d be standing on. Dana added flag from her house that had the words “girls love girls” in pink. Adrian has drawn some good pan posters too. Novas contribution had been the huge “love always wins” sign on the back of the float. She’s decorated it each of their flags for their sexualities, she thought it looked nice. “Nice?” Oscar asked. “It’s totally sick!” He high-fived Ruby who was grinning and covered in blue and pink paint. “Can you imagine us on this tomorrow?” She said as she climbed back on to it. “I’ll be here like ‘Trans right!’ And Oscar will be over here eating cotton candy that looks like a bi flag. And Dana will sit up there being gay and loving women! And Adrian will stand there with his pen and make rainbow renegades pins. And nova will stand here,” she pointed to the center of the float. “And wave awkwardly as she does.” Oscar and Adrian laughed. Dana yelled a ‘hell yeah!’ And high-fived Ruby. “Hey, I’m not that awkward.” Nova fought with a smile on her lips. “You say that now until you see the pictures of yourself tomorrow.” Oscar laughed and held out one of the beaded necklaces in the bi flag colors to Nova. “Wear that tomorrow, for solidarity.” He said as he put his own on. She smiled and put hers on too. “Okay guys, we need to be here at seven tomorrow. So wear a nice outfit and try and include some pride items too.” Adrian said as he shooed ruby and Dana off the float. “Ruby, didn’t you say you had face paint?” Adrian asked. “Yeah! I should have all the colors we need. I might not have all Dana’s colors though.” She said sadly. “It’s alright Ruby, I have my own anyway.” Dana winked at her and flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Okay well, let’s get home and rest before the main event tomorrow.” Adrian smiled at his team.

The next morning Nova showed up to the warehouse they were starting at earlier than needed. She wore a black T-shirt with a small bisexual flag colored heart where a breast pocket would be. Her hair was down as always and she wore a pair of dark denim short since it was hot. The necklace Oscar had given her was around her neck. Her combat boots made an echo in the large building as the only other people here were the council, Adrian and a couple civilians doing maintenance. Adrian waved Nova over to where he and his dads were sitting, an area with a couple chairs and a supply of donuts, coffee and waters. “Hey.” Adrian said with a smile. Nova smiled back and sat next to him. “Hi.” She smiled. “Hi Nova, how are you?” The captain asked. She turned to him, she still felt weird about everything that happened between her and the council. Sure she had tried to kill him, and sure she did hate him from the time she was a small child, but they mended everything with multiple meetings and countless crying session (all of them recorded from the captains office or the interrogation room). “Im good, I’m excited to be on the float this year. I’ve come to all of the pride parades you’ve had so far.” She tucked hair behind her ear. “It’s nice to see that you guys are not only representing the lgbtq+ community but encouraging the people in it.” This was something that’s never changed in her mind. She loved the colorful flags and the face paint and the shirts she bought herself every year, though she had to hide them from the others. Unlike Adrian’s parents, Nova’s uncle wasn’t supportive of this kind of stuff. Most of the Anarchists were like that too, leaving Nova with internal conflict and self hatred that filled her need for her Uncle’s approval. “It’s nice to hear.” Hugh said with his classic smile. Adrian swiped his hand over Nova’s and caught her attention. “Wanna go and put some finishing touches on the float?” He asked as he held up his pen. Nova nodded and stood with him. “I’ll see you out there.” Nova said to the super couple as they walked off, hearing them chuckle.

“So, you want to help me paint my face?” Adrian asked as they made it to their float. He pulled out his marker, ready to sketch out some paints. “Sure, though I’m not quite the artist you are.” Nova smiles as she hoisted herself up to sit on the float next to her boyfriend. Adrian smiled back at her as he drew the pots of paint on the different colors of fabric or tinsel that covered the wooden float underneath. “Well, I don’t think a tiny flag will be too hard.” He said as he finally drew a paint brush too. Nova took the small brush from him and dipped it in the blue paint, using her other hand to take his glasses off. “Stop smiling so much so I can paint your face, dork.” Nova said as she patted the apples of his cheeks as he smiled. “Sorry.” He said trying to be serious. “Force of habit.” Nova let out a small laugh and continued the stripes of color on his cheeks. When she was finished she nodded. “Some of my best work.” She said simply and handed the brush to Adrian. “My turn.” She said and leaned her face towards him. Adrian just laughed at her enthusiasm and drew up some purple paint. “You really are excited aren’t you?” He said as he dipped the paint brush in the first pot of paint. “I am.” Nova said, stopping when the paint bust was swiping against her tanned skin. “I’ve always loved the parade. My uncle was homophobic and it made things really weird, especially when I got a crush on a girl for the first time. I wanted to talk to him, but hsse shut down the conversation as soon as I asked ‘is it okay for two people of the same gender to be in love?’ It was scary and new and I had no one to explain.” Nova kept her eyes closed and waited for the cool sensation of the paint on her skin again but it didn’t come. When she opened her eyes Adrian was looking at her with a sad look. “Nova,” He started. “Nope. I don’t want pity. I just wanted to tell you. Some backstory, ya know.” She said and pushed hair away from her forehead. Adrian tried to look less sad as he went to paint her face again but it wasn’t working. “Stop being sad.” Nova said with determination. “No. That was a sad story.” He said and pouted extra hard. “Hmmm, will a kiss make it better?” Nova said as she leaned towards him. He perked up. “Actually,” Adrian said and smiled. Nova laughed and pressed her lips to Adrian’s. They shared a small kiss before they pulled back and Adrian continued to paint her cheeks. When Dana and Narcissa arrived they were talking about the days events and holding hands. They had started dating a while ago and Dana had invited her girlfriend to join them on the float today. She was explaining how after the parade they would all be free to enjoy the festivities and stalls the Narcissa when they arrived next to the float. “Hey.” Dana smiled and sat on the edge of the float. “Good morning.” Narcissa supplied as she leaned next to her girlfriend. “Hi!” Adrian smiled as he finished painting nova’s face. “Hey guys.” Nova said as she turned around to look at them. The group held a steady conversation even as Ruby and Oscar joined until the council stood on their own float and announced that the parade was gonna start soon so they had to get on their floats to prepare. Ruby, who was wearing a trans flag as a cape, climbed up and held her hand out to Nova with a smile. “This is gonna be so fun!” She said as Nova climbed up with her. “I ave no doubts about that.” She said as the others made their way onto the float.

The sun was hot, but Nova could barely feel it over the vast amount of happiness and excitement she felt as the floats made their way down the street. People waved and called out to them as they waved and smiled. Their float had a built in speaker and was playing various songs the council had approved. Some little kids on the sidewalks danced along as they passed, the sight making Nova smile. Ruby and her were on the middle podium, swaying and singing along to the music with smiled. Oscar was tossing out rainbow bead necklaces while Dana and Narcissa were crouched on the edge of the float talking to a girl who was walking along the sidewalk, she looked to be about 13/14 years old and seemed absolutely infatuated with the two girls holding hands. Adrian was on the back of the float, tossing out the rainbow renegades pins he’d made the night before. It was fun, Nova was having the most fun she had ever had and she was being herself while doing so. She didn’t have to hide in an alleyway and make sure no one saw her face, she didn’t have to stash away her pride wear before heading home tonight. She didn’t have to pretend anymore. Ruby grabbed both of her hands as an upbeat song started and started to scream the lyrics and jump around. She looked so happy. Nova matched her level of enthusiasm, singing along as Ruby had introduced her to the song that was playing a couple weeks prior. As the song came to a close, Oscar came to join them on the podium, making a joke about how Nova was stealing his girlfriend. Nova and Ruby both laughed, Ruby pulling Nova into a tight side embrace, squishing their cheeks together. “We’re in love, don’t even try to come between us.” Nova laughed and turned to kiss Ruby’s cheek, earning a wild giggle from ruby. Oscar pulled his girlfriend away from Nova and swatted at her like a cat. “No this ones mine, Adrian is down there, go kiss him.” HE made a pouty face as the two girls laughed at him. Nova eventually let herself down to stand with Adrian fro the last two blocks of the parade. He smiled at her as she stood next to him, a group of fan girls going wild at the sight of them together. Nova let how weird it was slip as she wasn’t ready to let it ruin her mood. The two of them smiled and waved all the people around them while talking about Adrian’s previous experiences the the parade. Nova laughed along with his stories and putting in her input where it was needed. As the float came to a stop at a street near the park where the stalls and activities were placed, the group hoped off their float and stood by the entrance, Nova’s excitement bubbled up inside her. “You look excited.” Dana smiled at her. “I’m overflowing with positive emotions.” Nova whispered. “Then lets go!” Ruby yelled, leading thier charge into the festivities.

#renegades #supernova #archenemies #nova artino #ruby tucker #adrian everhart #dana bell #nova mclain

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shadyb00ts · 4 years ago

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How 2020 Turned Me Into A Swiftie Again

If you’d told me a few years ago that I’d have not one but two Taylor Swift albums in my year-end favorites list, I would’ve thought you were out of your mind. Then again, stranger things have happened in this hellscape of a year.

I’m really not sure where the first time I heard the phrase “Life is too short to pretend to hate Taylor Swift” was. I have no idea who originated it, but it stuck with me when I started to unpack that about a year ago, during her Lover era. By then, my perception and feelings about Taylor had been very... inconsistent, to say the least. I started out as a full-on stan, then it dwindled from there overtime until I basically became a hater, which then turned into indifference but silent respect. Now, I’m pretty much on the road to becoming a stan again. Revisiting her catalog, analyzing her lyrics, watching interviews, the works.

I wanted to examine what it was that made my opinions about her go through so many steep rises and falls within this entire decade. Part of it was her shift in musical style that I didn’t quite mesh with, but another part was owning up to the internal biases I had when I was younger and how gullible I was in going along with whatever the media or the popular conscious was saying about her and the kind of person she is.

I’m somebody who’s incapable of separating art from the artist. I simply don’t listen to artists when I don’t like them as people or don’t agree with their actions. Examples include but are not limited to Kim Petras, Melanie Martinez, Azealia Banks, Grimes, just to name a few. I have my own personal reasons for just not wanting to engage with any of their music, and if you still want to, that’s none of my business.

At some point in my life, I think Taylor got on that list. Looking back on it now, I find that completely ridiculous, because she never really did anything or acted in a way that warranted that reaction out of me. So I wanted to delve into how that even came about in the first place.

With that said, I want to take a trip down memory lane and go back through her eras, and go through the timeline of my strange relationship with Taylor Swift’s body of work as well as her public persona. Fair warning, it’s gonna be really cheesy and emotional at parts, but it is fully my truth. Thank you in advance if you manage to read the whole thing.

Part 1: The Country Era

It’s 2010 and I’m in eighth grade. I’m in an extremely Muslim country, the only son of an extremely Muslim family that enrolled me in an extremely Muslim school. I’m getting bullied by the boys in my class for being too feminine and being ignored by the girls for being a boy. The last close friend I had from elementary school had just moved away the year prior, and I’d never felt more alone in my life.

I was a closeted gay kid still trying to figure himself out and hating who he was. I escaped to cringey online chat sites like IMVU and catfished as a girl, because at the time I thought the only way to get boys to like me and want to be with me was to pretend to be someone else, someone I actually liked.

When I think back on this era, I mostly remember the girls in my class obsessing over these three albums and singing her songs with each other all the time. I desperately wanted to join them and fangirl with them over her music, though of course they never gave me the time of day. I remember I would memorize so many of her songs and write them all down on a special notebook I kept. When I wasn’t paying attention in classes, that’s what I would do; scribble out a collection of all the songs of hers that I knew by heart.

To me, these three albums represented a certain kind of vivid fantasy. Taylor’s songwriting has obviously grown exponentially over the past decade, but even back then she was always so damn good at storytelling and detail, painting you a very clear picture of a scene and placing you right there. For a miserable, self-hating fourteen-year-old gay boy that was always seeking escapism from a homophobic environment, this was the perfect outlet for me to live out a different kind of life, to play pretend.

I honestly can’t explain what it is about her style of songwriting but she always made me feel like I was genuinely experiencing everything she was talking about. Things like kissing in the rain, riding around in the truck of the boy of my dreams in a tiny one horse town, shedding teardrops on a guitar that I definitely didn’t own, experiencing crushing heartbreak. This was stuff that my sheltered ass couldn’t comprehend.

Taylor perfectly captured that ideal, that small town girl with big dreams and storybook romances. I was in love with her discography at the time, having memorized pretty much the entirety of Fearless because that was my favorite of three. Middle school was hell for me, but her music was definitely something that helped me pull through, because she sent my imagination into overdrive.

This was a time in my life where I didn’t really care yet about an artist’s public image or the media’s portrayal of them, It was purely about the music for me. Of course, when looking at these albums now, there were a few questionable choices she made lyrically, I have to admit. Particularly with songs like “Better Than Revenge” and “Innocent”, both having aged terribly with the former being bafflingly misogynistic and the latter being about Kanye. As of my writing this, Taylor is currently in the process of re-recording her old catalog, and I assume that she would skip these two songs in particular, as well as several others that haven’t exactly aged well.

This era really got me through some tough times and she provided much-needed relief for me within each of these three albums. I’ll always have an attachment to them because of the bittersweet memories they represent.

Part 2: Red

Red I decided to put in its own category, because this was kind of a weird era for Taylor. Even back when I was an ignorant teenager that barely had any critical thinking skills, I felt the dissonance of this album and its Max Martin produced singles. This album represented Taylor dipping her toe into pop music, which she made abundantly clear when she decided to release We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together as the lead single.

I actually remember this moment quite clearly. She premiered the single at some kind of fan event that I believe was streamed live on YouTube, and either I watched it live or I watched the full recording of it later on. At the time I remember feeling it was kind of bizarre to hear Taylor adopt this style of music, because it was so drastically different from her previous work and it took me a while to adjust. Obviously I enjoyed pop music at the time as much as I do now, but I just hadn’t been expecting it to come from Taylor.

Fortunately it was just the three singles that were full pop, and the rest of the album still had her signature DNA and also includes some of her best work. All Too Well, for example, is I think one of the best songs she’s ever made, if not the best. I think if I were introducing Taylor to someone that’s totally unfamiliar with her, that would be my first choice, because it’s a masterwork in songwriting and emotionality.

I do think the thing that irked me the most about this album and era, even to this day, was the lack of cohesion. Of course I figured that she would eventually venture into pop music, but the way in which she did it just felt a bit too jarring to me. Perhaps if the album had a more even distribution of pop songs and country songs, it would’ve been slightly more palatable for me. It’s not even that the three pop songs were bad; they were quite good for their time. Though to be completely honest they’re the songs I barely ever return to any time I listen to Red now. They’re the kind of catchy pop songs where it’s difficult not to get sick of them at a certain point in your life. I’ve grown to really dislike the lead single, and even 22.

Her image was also starting to get much more scrutinized by the media around this time. I think this era probably marked the sharp rise of the “Taylor Swift has too many boyfriends!” argument people loved to throw around. I wish I could say I was smart enough to not buy into that shit at the time, but I wasn’t. While it didn’t bother me, it was something that I wondered about, why she dated and broke up with so many guys at such a young age. It was something that I judged her for. Obviously I didn’t yet understand that it was normal for people her age to date around. Plus it gave her some great material.

By this time, Taylor was making the gradual transition of country sweetheart to pop star, and while Red was kind of a rocky start to that, naturally she managed to pull it off. But not quite flawlessly.

Part 3: The Pop Era

Okay, I have a lot to say about these girls.

I think this era started off strong with 1989. It was a more fully realized version of Taylor’s little pop experiment, and it actually had the cohesion that I needed to be able to fully adapt to this new style she’d cultivated. She wrote yet another one of her best songs with Blank Space, which I like to think was a precursor to Reputation (and dare I say that one song did Reputation’s concept better than that album as a whole?).

However... Shake It Off. I’m sorry, I just hate that song.

WANEGBT, the first single off of Red, isn’t exactly the best song either but it made sense as to why she chose that as the first single. It was to signify her dabbling into pop. Reputation’s first single I also am not the biggest fan of, but again, made perfect sense as an introduction, but I’ll get to that later. Shake It Off, though? For the life of me, I have no idea why this song was the first single. Or to be frank, why it was even on the album at all.

I’m sorry y’all, I just hate it. Everything about it. The verses, the chorus, the appalling rap bridge. She should’ve kept that song in the drafts and released Blank Space as a first single, and that’s a hill I’m willing to die on. Sorry Shake It Off stans, but I’m sure all three of you will get over it. ❤

That said, 1989 had some excellent songs, and I was finally starting to get used to Taylor doing pop. However, my excitement and enthusiasm for her music started to falter due to my weak mind at the time once again getting swayed by the media.

This time, I began to see Taylor as someone that seemed to be very calculated and conniving in the way she curated her image. Something that didn’t sit well with me was the “girl squad” stuff, and how all of the women she surrounded herself with were essentially these supermodels with unattainable beauty standards, and also believing the rumors about how certain famous women were given private requests to join Taylor’s “squad”. And then of course, the Kim and Kanye thing happened. #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty trended worldwide, and that was probably my earliest exposure to an instance of a celebrity getting canceled, so I was just happy to join the bandwagon. My opinion of her shifted like that, and it’s crazy to think about it now, how I barely had the capacity to form my own opinions and was easily influenced by everything I heard.

Despite me kind of joining the Taylor hate train, I did like Reputation as a concept. I liked how she disappeared from the public eye and came back being like, “You want me to be the villain? The snake? Fine.” Look What You Made Me Do, as I mentioned before, was the perfect choice for the first single despite the song itself being sonically....not the best. The music video and the line about how the old Taylor couldn’t come to the phone was an iconic moment in pop culture, I have to admit that.

I didn’t listen to the album as a whole until later, though. I was having my own hang-ups about Taylor that I think are silly now, but at the time when I didn’t like an artist I would mostly avoid their work. When I did listen to the album, though, I thought it was... okay. There’s one standout track to me and that is Getaway Car, and it’s the only song from Reputation I can say I fully adore to pieces. The other songs on there I either just like, or I find to be meh at best. (Also I know Ready For It is objectively a bad song but I really enjoy the chorus, don’t @ me, @ god)

A few years later, Lover happened and.... Once again, horrible first single. ME! is a genuinely atrocious song, and I have no idea how esteemed, prolific songwriter Taylor Swift managed to reach a point where she had a song with the phrase “spelling is fun!” in it. I feel the exact same way about this song as I do about Shake It Off. It had no business being in the album whatsoever.

As far as Lover the album goes, this came out around the time where I was kind of feeling indifferent toward Taylor (which is hilarious if you know what the first track on it is). I was much more politically aware and had learned not to put too much faith in white women, and I was focusing on other artists so much that Lover barely even came onto my radar. I listened to it once, thought it was meh, and moved on. I revisited it earlier this year and realized I was a bit too harsh on it the first time around. Sure it was her weakest album overall, but it wasn’t bad by any means. It was perfectly alright, and there were songwriting moments within it that were still quite strong. The title track and also Miss Americana comes to mind as standouts.

She started to become more vocal politically around this time. A lot of people thought it was too little too late, which was a fair point. However to me it made sense that she stayed tight-lipped about politics when she was younger, considering she was operating within the realm of country music. Plus, upon watching her documentary, it was pretty clear she had old white men behind the scenes telling her what she should or shouldn’t say, to make sure she maintained that all-American country girl sweetheart image. Still, I do agree with the people who thought that she should’ve used her platform sooner.

Oh and for the record, I think You Need to Calm Down is a terrible song. The video was cute, and the message behind it is fine, but I just hate it sonically.

At this point my interest in Taylor was probably at an all time low. The era started off strong with 1989, but it progressively got weaker. She just wasn’t really giving me much in terms of lyricism, and her pop productions were starting to blend together to the point where a lot of them were sounding very same-y. Lover to me marked the point of stagnation in her music; it was solid enough, but it just wasn’t going anywhere. We’ve seen Pop Taylor, she was cute for a while, but what else? Where does she go from here?

Well... She went into the woods.

Part 4: The Cottagecore Sisters

When I heard about Taylor dropping a surprise album, I suppose I was intrigued. She is one of the few artists that are successful enough to be able to make a move like that and cause a lot of buzz and excitement. I didn’t think much about it though, because my 2020 at that time was still inundated with SAWAYAMA and Ungodly Hour on repeat. On a whim, though, I decided to listen to it one day, not expecting much out of it.

Earlier when I was talking about her country era, I mentioned that Taylor’s storytelling and her penchant for detailed descriptions were my favorite parts of her writing. Her innate ability to transport me into other worlds, to provide escapism when my life became too much to deal with. I feel like these aspects were missing in the several years that Taylor focused on pop music. There were flashes of it in some of her later work, sure, but very few. She was becoming a huge mega superstar and her songs started to lose that sense of relatability that had been easy for me to latch on too. These things definitely contributed to my loss of interest for her work in general.

And then Folklore managed to bring me back to that place of fantasy I described before, but heightened. Elevated. Evolved. This is why I think that Folklore is Taylor Swift’s magnum opus.

Storytelling is without a doubt her strongest skill as an artist. To be able to construct not just a narrative but an entire world through songs is not something anyone can pull off. Throughout her pop era, there was always that something missing because I knew that she was capable of more. I couldn’t explain it well back then, but despite her penmanship still being commendable during those years, it still felt oddly lackluster. I knew she could do better, but I didn’t have the proof yet.

This is it. Both Folklore and Evermore showcase exactly what I knew she was capable of. This is Taylor Swift at her most creative, at her full power.

I think in a recent interview I watched (though I can’t remember which one), even she herself acknowledged how it would’ve been a disservice to continue strictly writing autobiographical songs, and so she decided to write from the perspectives of multiple different characters while also occasionally inserting herself and her life experiences into these narratives. She essentially created her own folklore and managed to make me invested in characters that don’t even exist.

I have to talk about the love triangle trilogy: cardigan, august and betty. It’s a testament to her songwriting ability that these fictional characters feel like real people. The story of Betty, James and Augusta/Augustine is just so well done to the point where I forget that it’s Taylor Swift singing. When I listen to these songs, I am fully imagining the characters she conjured up.

The song that I find the most profound out of the three, and also happens to be my favorite song on the album, is august. To me, it is the most heartbreaking song out of all of them. I relate so much to that girl who’s hopelessly in love with someone that just doesn’t give a shit about them and is merely using her for a summer fling. And it’s not even like I’ve experienced something similar to this in real life, Taylor just somehow made it relatable with the sheer power of her pen game. It’s even more heartbreaking considering we don’t know what happened to this girl, if she ever managed to find happiness, because in the Long Pond Sessions Taylor mentioned that Betty and James eventually got back together. They got their happy ending, but what happened to Augustine?

I can’t believe she’s got me this deep in my feelings over non-existent teenagers, I swear to god.

Just when I thought Folklore was going to be the end of this new side of her for a while, she releases Evermore in December, its sister album. While I don’t think it’s quite as strong as Folklore, it still delivered immensely in terms of lyricism, productions and vocals. Evermore’s release pretty much solidified the realization that I was basically becoming a Swiftie again, a whole decade later.

I was embarrassed by that thought at first, but honestly now I’m at a point where I don’t think there’s anything to be embarrassed about. Taylor is too skilled of a songwriter for me to consider her a guilty pleasure. I just needed something to help me come to that conclusion, and these two albums did just that. She finally gave to me what I was waiting for.

Final Thoughts

I don’t really stan artists the same way I used to now, which I mentioned previously in my review of Chromatica. I don’t deify them or hold them to an impossible moral standard they could never live up to anymore. I see them as flawed human beings that have the capacity to make great art. So when I say I’m becoming a Swiftie, I’m still fully aware that Taylor Swift is a thirty-one year old rich white woman who is bound to have shortcomings and missteps as a person. In my mind, she hasn’t done anything drastic enough or stupid enough for me to become uncomfortable in listening to her work. I had my own ideas about how she could’ve been fake, conniving, manipulative or whatever else the media was trying to convey about her, but there really is no way of knowing who she truly is as a person.

Celebrities and influencers have the power to curate their image however they want. The relationships they have with us, the audience, are entirely parasocial, so of course we base our judgments of them based on very limited knowledge, or just the surface-level view of what they’re like. I don’t know if Taylor is as down to earth and genuine as she appears to be now, and I honestly don’t need to know. If she does things I disagree with or acts a certain way that deserves criticism, of course I’d still call her out, and depending on the severity of what it was she said or did, it might end up with me not wanting to engage with her work anymore.

But the reality is, as a person, I’ve realized that she is just fine. I was holding on to a certain idea of her in my head where I think at one point I dubbed her “the Anne Hathaway of music”, meaning someone that comes across too perfect to the point where it seems calculated and disingenuous. But honestly, I just don’t feel that way about her anymore. I don’t feel particularly attached to her as a person, either.

But I do feel an attachment to her music. At the end of the day, that’s where I’m standing now when it comes to her. I don’t have any expectations or delusions about her as a human being, and I’m not going to remain devoted to her if she does something dumb, but I believe that she is an insanely gifted artist who has written so many songs that genuinely speak to me and make me feel intensely. She lost me for a while, but now I’m right back in it.

So yeah, like I said in the beginning of the post, life’s too short to pretend to hate Taylor Swift. I’d rather just pretend to live in a mystical small town as a sad gay witch. And I’m at peace with that.

#taylor swift #taylor swift eras #folklore #evermore #swifties

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tev-the-random · 5 years ago

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A casual Sonic Forces rewrite + some headcanons, because why not

Part 1 – Infinite and Episode Shadow

Just a warning: none of the images used here belong to me! They all belong to SEGA – the game screenshots, the official art and the comic pages.

Next Part ->

I have yet to see the Sonic Movie, because the universe seems devoted on not letting me do so, for some reason. Being as desperate for Sonic content but as determined to not receive spoilers from the movie as I am, I decided to go for the next coolest thing: writing really long and random posts about a game that came out three years ago and no one cares about anymore.

This shall be fun!

(Update: as of posting this, I have finally watched the movie! But I don’t want to throw this away, so I’ll post it anyway. We can have a nice talk about the movie later.)

*“Fist Bump instrumental” intro plays*

*“This is Our World: a New Hero” plays in the background*

I’m the type of person to always try and see the best in every game, and Sonic Forces is no different. Despite its obvious flaws, I love this beautiful game! Mostly the concept of it is one of the coolest things I’ve seen this last decade, but the execution… lacks on a few things. I mostly just fill in the gaps with my imagination and enjoy it nevertheless, but, upon going through the tag and seeing that some of my concerns were shared by other people, I decided to try my hand at rewriting Sonic Forces juuust a tiny bit. Just for fun!

For this first part (and I have no idea how many parts we should have), I’d like to share some of my ideas about…

*Infinite’s Theme plays in the background as I try hard not to sing along*

Oh, my poor jackal boy, what do we do with you? Despite being so heavily promoted and having an undeniably awesome theme song, Infinite’s backstory and general development throughout the game came out as lacking, having the self-proclaimed edgelord become a laughingstock amongst most fans. Nevertheless, I still love Infinite, and it saddens me how much wasted potential he had; it’s like they were trying to write a really interesting character, but gave up halfway through.

So yeah, let’s talk about it. And let us begin with his origin story.

I believe you are all familiar with this scene:

I… I want to defend my boy here, I really do. But honestly, the way this was portrayed, it just sounded like he was throwing a childish tantrum. It seems as if his entire motive for becoming a villain was “Shadow beat him and called him weak”; dude, you’re not the only one: Shadow does this to basically everybody who’s ever crossed his way! We’re not given a reason as to why Infinite gets so bloody offended, nor are we given a reason why we should care.

So, how can we fix this? I think we should firstly focus less on “I’M NOT WEEEEAAAAK!!! URRAAAAGHH!!!” and more on:

It doesn’t need to be – and I don’t even think it can be – as sad of a situation as the Rivaille Squad in Shingeki No Kyojin or anything, but I believe that showing us that Infinite lost something important would already do wonders to his backstory.

The simplest way – that is, the way that doesn’t majorly change how things go, but does give the jackal a clearer motive – to do this would involve the ever so humble inclusion of two new cutscenes and one new in-game battle, plus a few tweaks to some already existing scenes.

Episode Shadow begins not with the usual reading introduction, but rather, with Shadow’s voice. “I was a couple of months before the Doctor took over the world. The first time I encountered him… I didn’t know what he would become.” Then we open with what used to be a couple of months prior (aka where they presented Infinite’s memory, aka where they screwed up), so we’ll go through things in a chronological order instead of having a flashback inside of a prequel, because that’s confusing AF.

Now, instead of starting the Mystic Jungle level immediately, we should get a small cutscene: Shadow gliding through the jungle, cool camera angles/lighting and all – maybe something similar to the opening scene of Episode Shadow in Sonic 06? –, on his way to invade Eggman’s base as a voice coming from the hedgehog’s communicator reminds him about his mission (yep, that’s some subtle exposition to the audience so we don’t think Shadow is there just because). My idea for said mission would be the simple task of retrieving a Chaos Emerald (yeah, remember those?) from Eggman. Nothing too serious; just another day, another emerald stolen like usual; we’ve seen this before, there’s no need for a long dialogue.

As the black-and-red blur crosses the screen, the camera pans to a group of people hiding above in the trees: Squad Jackal. Infinite is not among them. One of the jackals asks “where’ the boss?” to which another one replies that he’s on the other side of the base/talking to the Doctor/whatever and they have no time to waste; their mission is to take down the intruder and protect the base. We get something in the lines of “the boss is counting on us. Expect no mercy, show no weakness. Let’s go!” and the camera fades out as the squad drops from the trees and runs after Shadow.

I believe that having the phrase “show no weakness” – or any possible reference to “I’m not weak”, really – appear earlier as seemingly common and then have it become something the character gives a lot of importance to due to consequences and parallels sounds a bit more interesting than having Infinite’s inferiority complex come out of nowhere.

The Mystic Jungle level plays as usual, except the dialogue in the background doesn’t say that “the Defence Squad has already been completely annihilated”, but rather that “the Defence Squad is on the case. They’re the best mercenaries there are, Shadow won’t stand a chance!” because Doctor Eggman is naive like that.

Once we reach the end of the level there’s another change: a boss battle against Squad Jackal. You see, we don’t want to hear the squad was taken down like some sort of lazy exposition, because it feels incomplete; we want to participate, we want to be the protagonist and see with our own eyes just what is Infinite’s squad. This gives faces and voices to something that will become an important plot point instead of just telling us “yeah, this happened or whatever”. This could also play as some sort of sympathy point for Infinite, because we, while in control of Shadow, took down his squad; it makes the villain’s animosity towards Shadow and his general anger at least a bit more understandable.

The idea is that this battle should play as some sort of field fight – that is, differently than most boss battles in Sonic Forces, this is not a racing track where you attack your enemy while running, but rather a large secluded area, much like the one we get in the fight between the Custom Hero and the DeathEgg Robot –, where squad members would attack individually in different patterns before going for a group attack. The individual jackals would have both projectile (perhaps something like a wispon, knives or some Eggman invention to keep it family friendly enough?) and close-ranged attacks, while the group attack would consist of this mass of wild jackals changing at you, trying to run you over. The opportunity windows could be either the moment when the opponents switch or band together for the group attack.

(I don’t know, maybe some of you can think of better ways to fight the Jackal Squad? This is just a random idea! I’d like to hear different ones!)

Once the fight is over, we get another cutscene: Shadow stands among the fallen jackals – don’t worry, they’re… sleeping… yeah, there’s no visible blood, they’re not dead… except they’re totally dead – and looks around for a second or two. His expression is indecipherable, and he soon leaves without saying a word – one might say he feels bad for them, or maybe he doesn’t give a damn; we leave that open to interpretation. Not a moment passes and we get to see the leader of the squad arriving at the scene. The camera moves in a circle around him as he looks at his fallen comrades in shock. How did this happen? They were the strongest, how could his whole squad be dead? This is a rather touching moment, where Infinite sticks his sword (because in his origins comic he used to have a super cool red sword and I want to pretend we have a reason for it not existing in the game) to the ground; there’s a feeling of anger and vengeance going on as we get a closer look at the last standing jackal. He clenches his fists and faces the direction of Shadow. “Expect no mercy, show no weakness,” he says in an infuriated, strangled voice. He starts to run and the camera fades out.

(Look at his sword and his squad, man. I do wish we could have seen them in the game…)

When the camera fades in again, we get that exact same cutscene from the game. Blah blah, “destroyed my squad”, blah blah, “ultimate mercenary”, a legendary ass whooping and Infinite falls to the ground, weak, pathetic and defeated.

Now, I’d like to add just a few lines to their dialogue, because this:

Doesn’t really sound like Shadow to me. I mean, man: you beat this random guy to the ground, called him worthless and pathetic out of nowhere and then you just leave? I know Shadow is rather apathetic and he’s supposed to be savage and all, but this just felt kind of out of place…

So instead of going full rude mode, what Shadow actually says is:

‘You’re part of the Defence Squad, aren’t you? Why would a bunch of mercenaries work for the Doctor? What is he hiding?’

‘The doctor paid well enough to not have his secrets spilled,’ Infinite retorts while trying to get up. He’s too hurt to do much, but he’s still willing to fight. He looks at Shadow with fiery eyes as he continues, ‘My squad… you took them down like they were nothing… why wouldn’t someone as strong as you be a mercenary?’

‘Mercenary work is for the weak,’ the hedgehog states matter-of-factly. ‘I’ve sworn to protect, not to follow the dirty line of work you did.’

This blows Infinite’s mind and he simply stares at Shadow, dumbfounded. He murmurs, ‘weak? How dare you, I’m not… We’re not weak! We’re the squad o-’

‘Where’s the Chaos Emerald?’ The jackal’s statement is completely ignored. However, Infinite is having none of this, so tries to attack Shadow once again in a fit of rage, only for the hedgehog to give him a signature roundhouse kick free of charge.

(Image merely illustrative)

‘What a waste of my time,’ Edgelord Number 1 says, aware that he’s not getting any useful information from this. He steps closer and Edgelord Number 2 flinches, ‘here’s some advice: don’t show your face around me ever again, or else I will finish you.’

And with that, Shadow teleports away, leaving Infinite to his existential crisis. He wasn’t able to avenge his friends; he wasn’t able to protect the base; heck, he wasn’t even able to hold his title of ultimate mercenary! How useless of a leader was he? Were mercenaries truly weak? Everything they’ve done… was it all worthless? Show no weakness… what did it even mean? They were all defeated, and Infinite can’t shake the feeling that he’s to blame for it. Wasn’t he supposed to be the best?

‘What is this? I’m…’ He looks at his hands, which are trembling ‘I’m shaking? I flinched? I... We failed… How pathetic… All because…’

Infinite stops as if he’s just gotten a moment of clarity. He then gets up and starts walking inside Eggman’s base. ‘I’m not weak,’ he says in a decided, chilling whisper; it’s almost scary. The view is set at the entrance, right in front of the jackal so that he starts blocking the light from the outside as he slowly walks towards the camera - while saying in that scary voice, “No mercy, no weakness”.

(I can totally see Liam O’Brien delivering this line perfectly…)

Then the last expository narrating happens about the same, except that Shadow narrates it – giving continuity to the fact that he was the one who started narrating this episode for a reason I will talk about later –, so we change a few words to match his speech more; it’s all in the third person and very husky and brooding, but with a subtle note of dread (oh, if only Jason Griffith would voice it… No disrespect to Kirk Thornton, but he just doesn’t hit Shadow’s perfect voice like Jason did; for me, at least. His Orbot voice is fantastic, though).

Now, instead of having Infinite looking forward for a few seconds before he gets the Phantom Ruby out of nowhere and places it in his chest very anti-climatically, we’ll do something different: as soon as he puts on the mask, he starts walking away, and we change settings to a dimly lit room, where we see Infinite from behind, fitting the frame perfectly. Following the beat of the background music, the camera changes to a close shot of his masked face as he’s holding the Phantom Ruby, which is glowing, reflecting on his mask and giving us a beautifully red-lit scene; it’s possible to hear very low, indiscernible whispers coming from the jewel. We then hear a small, evil chuckle from the masked jackal – he already sounds rather different from the guy who stuck his sword to the ground in honour of his friends earlier. The screen goes black, the whole “I was… Reborn!” thing dramatically happens in Infinite’s echoing voice and the not-flashback is over.

(I know this last part was quite specific and oddly detailed, but I had the scenes very clear in my head I wanted to try conveying how intimidating it looked to me o3o)

Ok, now that that’s done, prepare yourselves for an intermission. And by that, I mean prepare yourselves for a long analytical commentary on what I just wrote.

*”This is Our World: Phase 2″ plays in the background*

(Who is Shadow working for again? I don’t even know, man…)

Shadow isn’t just the guy who called Infinite pathetic. He’s the guy who killed Infinite’s squad (his friends) without any apparent remorse – and to be hypocrite as to say he’d sworn to protect when he just did something like this (yeah, Infinite doesn’t know any context of Shadow’s life, so of course he doesn’t understand what he meant); the guy who ruined everything he had going with his new job as leader of the Defence Squad; the guy who put him several levels under what he thought he was; the guy who questioned his entire way of living and the guy who put him under a lingering threat; “don’t show your face around me ever again” feels more intimidating now. Not only that, but, despite how Infinite might hate Shadow, he recognizes him as strong, admirable even – “why wouldn’t someone as strong as you be a mercenary?” Remember that Infinite himself is a mercenary; to actually acknowledge someone would be good at something you’re good at, specially someone you don’t like, has to be a sign of admiration, albeit a frustrating one. All of this puts a lot more of weight on how Infinite thinks of Shadow and why being stronger than the hedgehog is so important to him.

I made it so that “expect no mercy, show no weakness” is something like the Jackal Squad’s motto, their philosophy. I like to think it means that they should never count on someone’s mercy, for their enemies won’t spare them; they should always go into battle aware that they might actually be fighting for their lives. At the same time, they should always stand their ground and never let anyone think they can take advantage of a squad member. This is what the jackals live for. But seeing as Infinite’s world has just been shattered and he failed hard on everything, he revises his mentality. “No mercy, no weakness” is what he’s going for now, as he wants to be above everyone, he wants to effectively be the strongest and for people to know that; he will be the one who doesn’t spare others, and he won’t be weak at all. Never again would a failure cost him that much, for never again would he fail.

To have Infinite place the Phantom Ruby on his own chest in Episode Shadow contradicts the opening scene of the main campaign. Remember the episode is a prequel to Sonic Forces’ main game, so it shouldn’t be completely detached from it; things must make sense when put together. As the main game begins by showing us Infinite inside of a tube in Eggman’s lab, we can assume one of two things: he’s either a robot/biological experiment created entirely by the scientist, or he’s a guy who’s been experimented on, thus Eggman was the one who placed the Phantom Ruby on him. With this in mind, it wouldn’t make sense to show us Infinite doing something if you’re going to tell us that he couldn’t have possibly done it on his own. But to have him hold the ruby as someone who deeply desires its powers and who listens to its ominous whispering? Not only does it line better with the aforementioned scene, but it also makes Infinite seem more prone to the ruby’s power (instead of just… you know, “random angry dude”).

As this intermission has gone on long enough, I’ll only make a brief commentary on the Phantom Ruby: I like the idea of the ruby being somewhat alive and exerting influence over Infinite. Now, I won’t say it’s the kind of influence where it justifies his horrible behaviour or the awful things he did. It’s less “mind-control” and more “that best friend who always encourages you and never calls you out on your bullshit”. Its grooming Infinite’s ego and just nudging him to keep making bad decisions, to keep shutting himself in this new reality where he’s all powerful and above everyone else. So it’s the jackal’s pride, spite and grief, along with Eggman’s overall encouragement and the Phantom Ruby’s influence all put together that, in a general sense, make Infinite what he is. (I can go into more detail about this idea once I make a Part 2.)

Mission Accomplished: “angry bitchy boy turned edgy, OP and unimpressed” changed his status to “tragic boy turned edgy, bitter and extremely power-hungry”.

Intermission’s over, let’s get back to the story!

With Infinite’s backstory slightly redone (or rather, shown under a different light), I could stop right here. But I don’t want to, oh no! I say we take this a few steps further and just finish Episode Shadow! Yeah, I told you this was going to be a long post.

*”Battle with Infinite: Second Bout” plays in the background*

Ok, now we cut to a few months later, where Episode Shadow would originally begin. Rouge comments that Omega was on recon mission in that “unknown base of operations that seems to be totally outside the chain of command for Eggman’s army” (whatever that is supposed to mean) when he spotted an unidentified masked person with strange energy readings and an unknown battle ID. Omega reported a “large scale troop” and… that’s it, he just stopped talking. Rouge then talks about that “new weapon” Eggman was supposedly developing and sends Shadow to the base to investigate along with Omega. She makes a remark about how they should get the entire Team Dark together for this (“It should be fun”), but Shadow dismisses the idea, saying that he’s enough on his own. “Omega said the same thing. You two go together like chilli and hot dogs.”

We can keep this at the whole “dialogue on screen” thing. I don’t really mind and it sure spares the budget.

The City stage plays as usual, except the dialogue in the background changes a bit, because Team Dark bickering (or just talking in general, I love this team so much) is my jam.

‘E-123 Omega here. Extermination proceeding without incident. No problems to report.’

‘Omega!’ Rouge exclaims, ‘Why have you stopped responding earlier? We- wait, extermination? This is supposed to be a recon mission, what are you doing?!’

‘I was spotted. Priorities conflicted; therefore I decided to eliminate the enemy altogether. New Mission Objective: Defeat Eggman.’

‘But you can’t go making a scene like that!’

‘See, this is what happens when you send the giant killer robot for this kind of op,’ Shadow sasses. And I’ll imagine Jason’s voice for this too, thank you.

‘I have several reports of recon missions where you retaliated, Shadow.’

‘I might have to join you boys soon enough. I turn my back for five seconds and this happens…’ Rouge comments in a tired voice.

Omega is ready to start robotically recounting the reports of failed recon missions where Shadow retaliated, but he is suddenly cut by static and the vague sound of the Phantom Ruby. Rouge tries to contact him again and we get small bits of his original lines here – “All sensors offline”, “Casualty report”, “Unidentified system intrusion. Emergency withdrawal!” and “I am E-123 Omega, the most powerf-sjfpstswq”, that stuff – before his communication is completely cut. Shadow asks something like “what’s going on?”, but his communication with Rouge is cut as well. We play whatever’s left of the level in silence (except for the sweet background music).

(Oh yeah, this happened or whatever…)

Now, I know the next scene is a screen dialogue again, and I know I just said I don’t mind it, but watching this:

… Is so bloody uncomfortable. This feels dumb. This is so dumb. I feel like they robbed us an epic scene in exchange of some awkward reading with absolutely no context. What the hell is “!” supposed to mean?! What did Infinite do?! If I wanted to imagine the action scenes all on my own, I’d spend my time daydreaming! What, did they not know what to do here so they just threw in some random lines to fill the gap between this and the next level?!

… Sorry, I got a little carried away. This simple scene frustrates me a lot by not existing. So yeah, we’re throwing in a cutscene.

(I just noticed how salty this post is getting. This was not my intention at all, I still love this game, oh dear…)

Shadow reaches the edge of the city and encounters a dark silhouette hovering just above the flames that cover the ground; there’s debris scattered everywhere. The figure has its back turned, and the world seems to glitch ever so slightly around them.

‘The world’s most powerful robot is no more a challenge than crabmeat. Even the Doctor’s most daring designs can’t compete with my power… It is without peer,’ the figure chuckles to themselves.

Shadow starts approaching silently, analysing the situation. Despite this being Omega’s location, he can’t see the robot.

‘Wonder how easy it would be to end this entire planet. Don’t you…’

Suddenly, the voice speaks close to the hedgehog’s ear:

‘…Shadow?’

He turns around to see that the unknown person has appeared behind him, which throws him off. The hedgehog takes several steps back and puts himself in a fighting stance.

It’s hard to see past the jackal’s mask, but he seems amused as he looks down on Shadow. Twistedly so.

‘How wonderful to see that our not-so-tall, dark and brooding guest has arrived. I’ve been waiting for you, Shadow~’

‘Tell me what you did to Omega. Now,’ the agent demands.

‘Oh, come now, Shadow. Our long-awaited reunion and still you spout such nonsense.’ Infinite floats down to stand a few meters away from his enemy.

‘I don’t know you,’ Shadow states. The masked jackal tilts his head, but doesn’t say anything, so he asks again, ‘what have you done to Omega?’

‘Only what is ought to be done when someone stands in your way. Weaklings like E-123 Omega are of no consequence, don’t you agree?’

‘The only thing of no consequence is that big mouth of yours.’

Shadow launches himself at Infinite, who easily avoids his attack. The jackal starts laughing manically.

‘Ah, I suppose you would think so,’ he states. ‘After all, it’s not so funny to be the one losing the battle, is it? I am Infinite. You say you do not know me, and yet I remember you so very well… I’ve lost all I was, I’ve become what I am because of you. Savour that thought as I return the favour.’

Guess what happens? That’s right, we get another boss battle! I think it’s only fair that Infinite gets to have his rematch with Shadow. Besides, it establishes a comparison with the “old” Infinite and how much stronger he’s now – from Shadow’s perspective, that is.

I have no idea how this battle would play out. Maybe something similar to his second battle in the main story (no, don’t worry: we’ll talk about the exceeding amount of Infinite battles in the next part), with the 2D layout. Let’s say Infinite is surrounded with his Red Cubes of Doom while he’s not attacking, so you can’t touch him. Maybe he makes the fire glitch and get closer to you at some point. Maybe he makes clones and you have to defeat each of them to get to the real guy, I don’t know! Tag your ideas, I’d love to see them! ^^

Anyway, once the battle’s over and Shadow “wins” (because Infinite is not defeated, he’s just done with this fight), the jackal might say something in the lines of “I suppose I’ve let this duel go on for long enough. I have other matters to attend to, Shadow the Hedgehog.”

We get back to the cutscene and Infinite is glitching a bit, quickly recomposing himself, laughing. Shadow is panting.

‘What’s the matter, Shadow? Can’t take down a measly jackal anymore?’ The masked one says sarcastically. ‘It seems like I’ve overestimated your strength. You’re no fit to be a mercenary at all.’

There’s a beat and Shadow realises what this is about. He looks at Infinite, frowning. ‘It’s you… Defence Squad Jackal…’

Infinite stares at the hedgehog. He doesn’t seem to be as amused anymore. His golden eye’s glowing under his mask, and so is the Phantom Ruby on his chest. A tense background music plays as Infinite answers dryly:

‘Yes.’

‘I’ve spared you, but now you’re going too far. It’s time to finish this! Chaos Spear!’

The spears of light simply go through Infinite as if they didn’t exist. Shadow goes for a spin dash/homing attack/kick to the face or whatever you can think of, but the masked villain glitches out of the way with ease and lands an almost perfect copy of Shadow’s roundhouse kick.

The hedgehog glides across the floor, almost falling over. Infinite scoffs.

‘This new “me” has limitless power. I have no mercy; no weakness! I am the true ultimate force that will tear this world apart, and what may have worked to bring me down before…’ the jackal starts floating again; thousands of red cubes start dancing around him and, as he raises a hand, they all group in the sky not far above them. ‘… No longer does.’

(Why yes, this is a reference to Mephiles the Dark and that time he destroyed the Sceptre of Darkness!)

Infinite throws his “Take THIS!” and Shadow does the “!” – which is him frantically trying to get out of the way as the thousands cubes of doom come crashing down on him.

The screen goes black.

Scene ends.

The Virtual Reality level should play as usual from there. I don’t even want to change the background dialogue, because I really like it: it’s confusing, it’s weird, it’s unsettling and it slaps Shadow in the face in a way that we rarely see. I love it! (Although, I do think the gameplay should have a tiny little bit more of 3D parts. We love Green Hill, but we also love the freedom to move on more than two directions when playing as the Ultimate Life Form. But it’s cool)

After that, we could get another cutscene (we’re full of cutscenes, huh? Well, this is a hypothetical rewriting with a hypothetical budget. Also, Episode Shadow is more of an exposition episode anyway). In this cutscene, we would start with some shots of different known locations: Green Hill, Chemical Plant, Crisis City, Mystic Jungle, Kingdom Valley, Babylon Garden, you name it! And all of these places are somewhat “corrupted”; they’re glitching out, full of those red cubes, and there’s just this ominous atmosphere in them, as if they’re abandoned, desolated despite looking roughly the same as ever. We then see a black-and-red blur cross the screen, and a short narration takes place:

“I’ve been here for longer than I can remember. This… alternate reality, this fake world. There seems to be no escape. Rouge and Omega talk to me occasionally…”

We see Shadow leaning against a wall. His communicator plays only white noise, then Rouge’s voice comes in; it’s strangely echoed as it calls out to him. Shadow throws the device far away and sighs.

“… They’re fake too. No matter where I go, no matter how much I run…”

Shadow is skating through Pumpkin Hill or something, when the world suddenly starts to glitch out massively; we hear the Phantom Ruby’s noise and suddenly, we’re on the ARK.

“It’s like this place was made to torture me. Although, I wouldn’t be surprised if that were the case.”

‘I’ve moved on from this a long time ago,’ Shadow says to the void of the Universe as we hear gunshots in the distance. He’s not being completely truthful. ‘Putting me through this scenario dozens of times changes nothing. Don’t you have anything more creative at this point?’

There’s silence, except for the shouts in the Space Colony. A voice calls out to Shadow, and he promptly ignores it, albeit with a pained look in his eyes. He’s visibly tired, almost hopeless, if one could ever describe Shadow the Hedgehog that way.

He sighs.

‘Alright, how do I get out of this one?”

We then get a start of a short level in the ARK. Don’t worry, it’s not one of those hellish mazes that usually haunt every ARK level there ever was; this is more straight forward, with doors closing all around you so that you know where you shouldn’t go, and some G.U.N. robots trying to kill you, simple thing.

The catch happens when you’re halfway through the level: as you’re crossing a long corridor, the game begins to “crash” – in the sense of you losing control of the character, the visuals beginning to glitch and the soundtrack going weird, all in a way that makes the soul leave the body of the player for a terrifying four seconds of “HOLY SHIT, I BROKE THE GAME”. But nope, you didn’t break the game: the Phantom Ruby is trolling you. We soon find that out as the signature noise plays and the glitching effect on screen disperses to show a new scenario: Mystic Jungle. The real Mystic Jungle. Congratulations: you get to play in a totally different zone for the rest of the level.

‘My head…’ Shadow murmurs to himself. ‘That was too quick; this can’t be right, it- ugh, why is it so bright here? Where are all the red things? This place seems too normal… is it… am I back in the real world?!’

We then finish the level, get our nice score and head to the last scene of the episode.

Shadow is going through the jungle, taking in everything that isn’t an illusion. He passes by a red sword stuck to the ground and leans against a tree, still a little out of it, still struggling to believe that anything is real anymore. The hedgehog then takes his communicator – surprisingly intact; hadn’t he thrown that away? – and tries to make contact. There is static for a moment, when suddenly…

‘Shadow? Oh my- Shadow, is that you?!’

He’s startled for a moment, but so relieved to hear Rouge’s normal voice again.

‘It’s me, Rouge. What’s the situation? Where’s Omega?’

‘Omega? We lost contact with him months ago; the Resistance says he must have been shut down after the Doctor took over!’

Shadow raises both his non-existing eyebrows in surprise, barely holding a gasp. He then frowns.

‘Shut down? Resistance? What do you mean “the Doctor took over”? What the heck happened?’

‘What happened? What happened?! I should be the one asking you that! You’ve been offline for six months! Everyone keeps saying you’re working with Eggman and Infinite, and I couldn’t contact you or Omega, I thought… I thought we’d lost you for good…’

‘Nonsense,’ Shadow states. We start hearing voices in the distance, and the hedgehog starts looking around while still talking ‘I’ll tell you the details later, it’s long story. What’s the current situation?’

‘Shadow…’

The (Tired) Ultimate Life Form spots something from behind the trees. Still in hiding, he looks closer only to see the Custom Hero holding the prototype Phantom Ruby they just found and talking to Tails and… Classic Sonic, much to Shadow’s confusion.

‘… We’re at war.’

Shadow takes a moment to process what’s just been said. He doesn’t even pay attention to what Rouge says next (neither do we, as the background music starts getting louder than the bat’s voice). He still watches the avatar, Tails and Classic Sonic as they leave; he focuses on the Phantom Ruby.

‘Meet me in the City. I’ve got a lot to tell you,’ Shadow says.

And with that, he leaves, the scene fades out and Episode Shadow is over!

*”The Light of Hope: Menu Version” plays in the background*

Now, a few more analytical notes before we close this ridiculously gigantic thing:

The immediate reason why we have Shadow being stuck in the Virtual Reality for six months is to indicate to us why he doesn’t show up earlier in the main game. It’s not like he was being useless this whole time and just decided to show up whenever it was most Ex-Machina of him; much like Sonic, he was trapped by the enemy. A mental trap that put Shadow on survivor mode for months without any way of communicating with anybody; with twisted versions of his friends trying to get to him and remind him that, hey, they’re still out there, probably in high danger; with these illusions mocking him, reminding him of painful memories, isolating him in familiar places… I say: if you want to emotionally hit a character, hit them hard. And this experience is bound to leave Shadow with some emotional scar, alright.

(Ever heard of conveniently coming out of nowhere?)

Shadow is bound to lose his sense of reality and sometimes it should be hard for him to acknowledge that this is the real world. I hope I can showcase some of his reactions in the later parts of this o3o

The Virtual Reality isn’t all glitchy by mistake. No, no: Infinite is perfectly capable of making a “perfect copy” of the real world, but he doesn’t want to. He wants Shadow to know this is a fake world and to know that he’s completely trapped in it while his real friends and allies are out there doing who-knows-what in a world run by the enemy. He wants to throw Shadow off-balance as much as he can, because he’s spiteful and doesn’t just leave the hedgehog to the side without a second glance.

In the game, Infinite says that they didn’t really have time to tune his power yet, so we can tell putting Shadow in the Virtual Reality was more of a practice of sorts. But man, I think this is too much of a cool concept, so I’ll say Infinite did put his power to the test before all of this; because Eggman, sir: you don’t simply throw your super-secret, amazing, unparalleled weapon in the battlefield without testing it first. This is something that can be inferred, it doesn’t need to be directly told, it just- I’m telling you this right now, ok?

I know Shadow is supposedly “over” this conflict with what happened in the ARK and it probably feels over-used to add it in again, but… it’s a thing the games haven’t tackled in such a long time, I feel like this would be a nice call-back. Besides, Infinite would want to know what would bring distress to Shadow; what happened in the ARK isn’t exactly a secret, especially if he’s working with Eggman. And Shadow can be as “over it” as he wants: it’s still a scar that will never truly leave him. Even if he watches it happen dozens of times, it’s still at least a little bit of an emotional rollercoaster.

ALTHOUGH! I also think this ARK level could be easily replaced with some other random level if you want to argue that Forces happens in Mobius or something, where Gerald and Maria and G.U.N. maybe never existed and whatnot.

What brought Shadow back, you ask? Well, it probably has to do with a certain someone spontaneously activating a Phantom Ruby. Maybe the avatar was thinking of Shadow and how it’d be nice to have him on their side again? Maybe they were thinking of undoing Infinite’s evil deeds? Maybe the raw power of the Phantom Ruby prototype being suddenly activated by the Custom Hero just crashed something another Phantom Ruby user did, like magnetic waves interfering with each other? Who knows?

I also find it important to show the Custom Hero here not only to show that there’s a connection between Shadow’s sudden freedom and their actions, but also to establish the tiniest amount of early familiarity between Shadow and the original character. Then maybe (maybe) I’ll give them a bit more of interaction in the main game, because it’d be nice to have a cool interaction with Shadow; and as endearing as his smile after the avatar does their thing with the sun of destruction is, it feels like it comes out of nowhere, if you think about it…

(I mean... Does he even know who we are?)

Infinite’s sword stuck to the ground goes completely over Shadow’s head, as he has no idea what that is or who it belonged to or what it means. It’s really just there for the viewer to reminisce the beginning of the episode and have a slight existential crisis.

When playing the main campaign, we get some pretty convenient information from Shadow once he finally shows up. Episode Shadow should give us a sense of how he knows those things. Want it or not, he did spend a long time studying the Phantom Ruby’s power far more closely than anybody else – well, maybe Sonic spent almost as much time as Shadow in a similar state, but that’s something to cover in another part.

The fact that Shadow is the one narrating this entire episode is supposed to allude to him telling Rouge exactly what happened during those six months he was gone. But if you want to read it as him talking to himself in the Virtual Reality as he slowly descends into madness, then be my guest!

I don’t know if it’s noticeable, but I’ve tried to tune Infinite’s cheesiness down a bit. I don’t think I can rid him of it entirely – after all, he is somewhat of a pompous, edgy, over-the-top character in general; he’s a full-on drama queen 24/7 and the only character cheesier than him is Sonic. Now, what we do with Infinite is to at least give a base to what he says. Also, I wanted him to sound a bit more like he lets the power get to his head. Oh well, I surely hope we’ll be tackling more of Infinite in the future!

Episode Shadow is extremely short, even for a DLC. I mean, it’s about only 20 minutes long – even less, if you’re good at it! With the addition of the cutscenes, the small changes, the boss fights against Squad Jackal and Infinite, and the added levels, the episode shouldn’t get overwhelmingly longer, but longer enough for it to feel more satisfying!

And with that, we’re done! I hope you enjoyed this massive thing. Despite me really liking Sonic Forces, I do think a few things could be improved. It’s not like it will happen, but rewriting is a lot of fun!

And why, no: I don’t take myself seriously.

#Sonic Forces #Episode Shadow #Sonic the Hedgehog #Infinite #Shadow #Rewrite #Headcanon #Character Analysis #Word count: why do I even bother?#phew that was a lot #I'm so tired

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2old4kpop · 5 years ago

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15 Underrated Girly Kpop Songs That Make Me Go Absolutely Feral

When it comes to girl groups, more than anything I am a Blackjack and Blink. I like to listen to girl songs that make me want to murder men (and believe me, that blog post is in the works). But I’m also a ONCE, as TWICE are my sweet darling babies, but they’re about as girly as I can tolerate. I’m not one for the super girly concepts. I mean, did you guys ever see MINX? Occasionally I ironically jam to Shakey Love Shakey Shakey Shakey Shakey Love, but it was an absolute blessing from the K-pop gods to rebrand them as Dreamcatcher. It’s really only the A-list girly songs I tolerate, like GFriend or Oh My Girl. Everything else below them just seems really cringy.

Except for a few chosen few that are so good that they make me absolutely lose all of my shits. And I’m talking about songs that nobody seems to know like at all. Either these songs came out when the groups were still under the radar, before they had their big smash hits, or they just never seemed to rise to the top. But they are still valid and important. Videos are linked in the song names, since Tumblr won’t let me add more than five videos, but here we go.

15. April- Dream Candy

April is one of those rare groups that pull off the girly concept so well but don’t ever seem forced, like they are just truly naturally sweet and pure and precious. Honestly all of their songs are great, and it’s tragic that they haven’t had a comeback in 2019. But their debut, Dream Candy, is the one that really gets deep in my soul to that animal part of my brain that makes me scream this god damn chorus. But only really at the end. I never really listened to this song until it came on shuffle one day when I was walking home in the rain, and thought, why not listen to this awkward girly song, and then the last chorus hit and OH MY GOD. It’s a good one guys.

14. Momoland- Jjan! Koong! Kwang!

So this song comes out by some unknown group called uh, Momoland?, with a title that is just a bunch of sounds that don’t exist in English, and I felt like I was the only one on Earth that was like, “This is fine.” I was honestly in some I Am Legend universe where instead of me being the only living person on Earth, I was the only one that liked Momoland’s debut. As time went on Momoland started putting out what is pretty much some of the worst K-Pop that exists (I mean, have you SEEN the video for Wonderful Love? Try not to cringe challenge) and sadly enough this group just faded into obscurity and never had any huge, Earth shattering hits or anything.

13. DIA- My Friend’s Boyfriend

On paper this song is awful. I mean it’s a song about being a petty bitch who has decided to steal their friend’s boyfriend, hence the title. Also the song ads cute little quirks like *squints eyes to read this metaphorical paper closer* coughing. Also the video has an unnecessarily long intro. But believe me when I tell you that this is an absolute slapper.

12. Gugudan- Wonderland

It’s a crime that Gugudan has never really hit it off, even with two I.O.I members. Their debut has this amazing Little Mermaid concept and believe me when I tell you that this chorus is best when screamed at the top of your lungs. After all the screaming I am basically in a manic state by the la la la’s.

11. LOONA 1/3- Love&Live

You’ll notice that the main theme of this list is that the choruses are absolute fire. But this one comes in and basically knocks the wind out of me with sweetness, like some kind of aegyo Kool-Aid man. It’s really the music that does it for me in this one, along with the melody, along with Heejin’s perfect high note. If this song doesn’t make you smile then you are a robot, like ViVi.

10. Shannon Williams- Why Why

If Ant and/or Dec were here, they would hear this song and definitely say that Britain’s Got Talent. Shannon is the British IU,hands down, undeniably, I will not be taking questions at this time. But it’s very sad that her career was nonexistent after this came out. Was it the fact that this features a sixteen-year-old grinding against faceless boys? Or that this video widely revolves around her intensely stalking someone? It can’t be the song because that is perfect.

9. AOA- Bingle Bangle

Okay so some history for those non-Elvises out there. AOA was THE HOTTEST girl group for a good minute, with so many timeless collaborations with the Brave Brothers that really changed the shape of female K-Pop for a while. And then ChoA left the group. And without the only member who could actually sing the face of the group, AOA kind of went quiet, save for a few Jimin solo songs. Then AOA came back with a new sound, and while everyone else thought it was terrible, I thought it was a bop! And I love the video and the concept! And the dance for this is so fun. Bingle Bangle is a real yes for me dawg. It’s only too bad that they lost yet another member and their concept was handed off to FNC’s new girl group. Speaking of which...

8. Cherry Bullet- Really Really

Yeah so they literally gave this entire “girls in a video game but it’s fun and cute” concept to Cherry Bullet, and they hit the ground running with it. This comeback in particular is my favorite of theirs because it hits one of my favorite pop music tropes: Having A Funky Instrumental Chorus, Only At The End To Put Words Over The Music. It ticks all my boxes.

7. Rainbow- Whoo

If you ever wanted to hear a song that made you scream “RAAAAIIINBOOW AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” then this is it. At this point in this list we start to hear the songs that make me truly insane, and this song absolutely destroys me. It’s really sad, however, that this is basically Rainbow’s swan song, as it was their last song before disbandment.

6. Matilda- Macarena

I bet you haven’t even HEARD of Matilda. I bet you didn’t even KNOW that MATILDA just DISBANDED a FEW MONTHS AGO because ALL THEIR SONGS WERE BAD except for THIS ONE which is just full of CHAOTIC GOOD ENERGY and if you don’t ENJOY THIS then GET OFF MY LAWN.

5. Berry Good- Angel

Berry Good was destined to be one of those girl groups, like Matilda, that came from a tiny company and was just given bad songs and were set up to fail. So they crowdfunded, and somehow made two incredible comebacks, Don’t Believe (which is a whole other story that we won’t get into today, but it’s an amazing song that you should check out) and prior to that, Angel. I don’t even know where to begin with this song because it literally makes me forget who I am and why I exist. It’s a banger?? This song starts off so soft and pure and jumps right into a chorus that makes you bang your head and scream “I TAKE A CHANCE, YOU NEVER KNOW” as loud as possible. And right when you think you can’t take it anymore, that you are gasping for air because you are drowning in perfection, THEY GO EVEN HARDER. Like, girls, you did not need to go that hard. Holy shit. They go full IU in Good Day. I don’t know why we were blessed with this, especially since after this all their other songs have been garbage, and they’ve been so unsuccessful that they lost their strongest member and they’re heading for disbandment. But we have this gem, and I’m thankful for it.

4. 4Minute- Heart To Heart

Back when 4Minute was just another 2NE1 clone, trying to compete in the market of “Girls Who Look Tough But Are Actually Sweet” 4Minute, aka The HyunA Group, put out this. Third Geners, this is what Second Gen was all about. This is the meaning of Christmas, Charlie Brown. This song is everything. It’s perfect. And it’s too bad that 4Minute didn’t really stick with this sound, but also not, since with their more mature concept they wound up getting pretty famous once Park Bom... I mean, we’re not gonna talk about it.

3. Hyolyn- Bae

Okay so I know that Hyolyn as an entity is not technically considered underrated, but her entire solo career is being slept on and I don’t understand. With Sistar gone, and now Red Velvet carrying the torch for summer anthems, Hyolyn doesn’t necessarily have to give us one of the best summer songs of all time but she did. Every second of this song to me is perfect. And yeah okay I’ll admit it, I am a Gay, I am attracted to women, and Hyolyn is a lot of. A lot of wow. She and HyunA are exactly my type, and this video is a lot. But the SONG you guys. It’s so much that I told even regular people who listen to English music to listen to this song. They didn’t, of course, because the world doesn’t appreciate Hyolyn like I would, I mean like I do as a fan and nothing else. This song was my summer anthem in 2018, Power Up wishes it was this good.

2. BESTie- Thank U Very Much

One of the things that really got me into K-Pop during the Second Gen was that it sounded so much like pop music from my youth. This is gonna sound weird, but I grew up in a Wiccan Neo-Pagan household where 90% of the music we listened to was traditional Celtic or New Age, and if it was ever anything else it was like The Beatles (my Mom and her sisters were one of those screaming and fainting Beatles fans, the trait that was clearly passed down to me, based on what happened when I saw G-Dragon live, but that’s another story) or ABBA, or any kind of British/European pop/rock from the 70s or 80s. So once I was old enough to really find out what kind of music I liked, I dived deep into cheesy pop songs like S Club 7, Britney Spears, and the like. But I always had a soft spot for ABBA. The melodies, the music, the strange lyrics that didn’t really make sense or weren’t quite grammatically correct but it worked. I feel like that love for obscure pop, along with the 90s and early 2000s bubblegum pop, pushed me right into the K-Pop scene. And this song is the best example of that kind of weird melody with oddly used English words, but it works in the best way. The chorus of this song sounds like it was written by ABBA. The ending of this song is transcendent. Tell me you can’t picture a Korean Meryl Streep in overalls singing the ending of this song while dancing on a beach. This song makes me lose all my shits. But I do have to say that this video is uh, Not Good, especially compared with how amazing the song is. But these underrated bottom of the barrel groups don’t have much to work with in the first place, so we can’t really fault them. This song holds up, and is going to hold up for a very long time. I stan.

1. Laboum- Shooting Love

So like I said before, I don’t typically like the super sugary, super tacky, super girly girl concepts. BUT I LOVE LABOUM. ALL their girly sweet songs are AMAZING. They somehow get everything right, in their own unique way. They’re not at all like “Oh, they’re like GFriend”, “Oh, that’s like Lovelyz” or anything, if you get what I’m saying. Laboum had their own cheesy yet perfect style of girly. Aalow Aalow: A CLASSIC. Journey To Atlantis: A CLASSIC. Hwi Hwi: A CLASSIC. Only U: YES YOU GUESS IT, CLASSIC. Sugar Sugar: DON’T MAKE ME SAY IT AGAIN. I could have made this whole list with just Laboum songs. So I made myself pick one by listening to as many old Laboum songs as I could before I would become an absolutely menace to society, as I am not responsible for my actions after listening to so much girly perfectlon at once. If I was arrested and went to court for I dunno, causing distress and mayhem to the citizens of my city, my lawyer would call it “the Laboum defense.” “You see, Your Honor, my client listened to a lot of Laboum songs, and lost control of themselves and became an entity, a ball of energy, a comet destroying everything in its path while screaming cheesy Korean lyrics.” And I would be set free, of course, because who wouldn’t lose themselves completely to the power of Laboum? But anyway I picked Shooting Love, as it puts me in a manic state from the very intro until the last second. And let me just say now that I deeply mourn this old Laboum, as they came back in 2018 with a new concept that makes them sound lobotomized compared to their old sound. Like slow R&B is fine, but compared to this it’s drab and slow and dull and I hate it. I Hate It. Bring back cute Laboum in 2020, or at least study Apink if you want to see how to properly change an aging cute group into a mature group. I could go on, but now I have the urge to listen to more Laboum. You’ll see me on the evening news tonight, I’m sure.

anyway 안녕

#kpop #laboum #loona #hyolyn #aoa #momoland #A List

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s-o-n-de-r · 5 years ago

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What a decade of progress looks for Lights

As the 2010s end, everyone has a reason to reflect on the past decade, but for sonder all-time favorite electro-pop sensation Lights, there’s a treasure trove to look back on.

After winding down from her summer tour in support of her Skin & Earth acoustic, which is just one entry in what has become a standard practice of releasing an acoustic version of her latest record, Lights dropped two announcements. First, it was the release of “Long Live,” a seedy, mellow, sentiment-heavy track featuring Travis Barker and looking back on her career. Second, she announced the long-awaited release of a vinyl pressing of her 2009 debut LP, The Listening.

Comparing Skin & Earth acoustic (and its full production namesake) to The Listening era is nearly black and white. There are certain things about both albums, such as her unmistakable singing voice and sense for a more poetic, metaphorical lyricism than other pop artists, that carry through, but there’s also definite growth.

That’s unsurprising after more than a decade of releasing music. After all, musicians are not robots and careers are not linear, instead informed by life changes and heartache and internal reflection and all of the heart and soul and growth that goes into making art. Each Lights release feels like a distinct entry, so her career has been painted by different brush strokes that nonetheless have a single identity. As a solo artist, she has the benefit of being solely in charge of her art and isn’t sidetracked by band mates leaving, disagreements, etc.

Artistic control lends well to pushing the envelope, which is what Lights’ latest acoustic record and summer tour did. Skin & Earth acoustic was recorded in locales that match the tracks’ placement in her comic book series, which means most of this record is not the product of a controlled studio setting. The songs were recorded on a cliffside, in a truck cab, in a tunnel, during rain, and by a river (among others). For Lights, this meant setting up in location with her gear and recording. As a result, the ambiance of these locations can be felt in the songs, and you can only imagine how cathartic it would be to record a song on a cliffside or by a river.

Her acoustic records have come with more and more creative flourishes over the years, starting with string arrangements back on Siberia acoustic, but the presentation of Skin & Earth acoustic ratchets it up to a whole new level. It’s a reminder, much like how the original Skin & Earth was the soundtrack to the comic series written and drawn by her, that Lights is doing things that you rarely see out there in music.

The world she’s built around herself attracts passionate fans. There are few artists I’ve kept my eyes on so closely for so long, and it’s a little surreal to think about each of her releases and remember the era of my life that they were released in. 2009 was peak MySpace scene time – it feels like forever ago considering the pace that music moves at. Back then, Lights wore her iconic headbands. Now, her hair is dyed a vivid red. Back then, I was a budding concert reviewer. Now, I somehow figured out how to work a camera and bring it to shows while also talking about the experience to strangers online.

Lights’ growth as a person and an artist is what drove me up north during the midst of her Skin & Earth acoustic tour this summer. I’m a fan of her music, her showwomanship, and her production, but also the lively energy she radiates as a human being. Knowing the creative project that the new record was and knowing that she’d bring the ambiance on stage with her, I got on a plane from Florida to Philadelphia to see four of her acoustic shows in the dead middle of summer.

I was living out of a backpack going from Philadelphia to New York to Washington, D.C., sleeping in Airbnb rooms and overnight trains. When I landed in Philadelphia and walked out of the terminal with nothing but an extra pair of clothes, my camera, and toiletries all stuffed in my backpack, I was smacked in the face with a wave of heat and realized I had brought the Florida summer with me up north. It was stifling and awful and the city was filled with dead air, but eventually, the sun went down and people went in to see Lights play at The Foundry.

Acoustic shows in general feel more intimate than full-band shows, but Lights didn’t settle for a coffee shop concert mood. Along with an ensemble of string players, she had a full light production and footage rolling behind her as she played the songs. It set a larger-than-life mood, which is fitting because she has often felt larger-than-life and is the sort of person that commands attention when she’s in a room.

This would be one of the shows where I’d connect with friends who would have never otherwise come into my life if Lights wasn’t a part of it. Social networking via fandom is by no means a radical or new thing, but Lights has brought me everything from casual acquaintances to cherished lifelong friendship, and much of it happens organically and randomly out of a mutual love for Lights. This tends to happen to different extents depending on the artist, but generally, it seems that the more genuine, interactive, and present an artist is, the more fans seek each other out. An artist with a comfortable relationship with their fans builds extreme loyalty, so when two fans meet, they tend to bond over that loyalty. It’s easy to meet a Lights fan and know that they “get it” – “it” being the general mythology of her career, her music, her extra-curriculars, her one-on-one interactions.

That brings us to the next day in New York, New York. After a morning Amtrak ride from Philadelphia to the Big Apple, I spent the day in the city and headed to the Bowery Ballroom. Six years prior, on Lights’ Siberia acoustic tour, I found myself at the same venue with a friend from Florida. Over the years, the larger Lights fandom has traveled far to go to shows together and would often end up forming large groups for shows, sharing hotels and taking group photos.

It’s a good contrast to reflect on where I was at that point in my life compared to now, and the same to Lights’ career. That tour was the first acoustic tour with a larger production, it was during her brief blond phase, and she was pregnant with her daughter Rocket.

Now, her hair was red as a fire engine and she was returning to the Bowery Ballroom with four more albums under her belt. The special thing about this night in New York was that she was playing two shows back-to-back – the second was added after the first quickly sold out.

If you were lucky enough to attend both shows, you got to experience a one-off phenomenon. Knowing that there would be a good amount of fans who came to both shows, Lights changed her set list between the performances and threw in some deeper cuts. It isn’t abnormal for artists to change their sets slightly from night to night, but typically fans don’t get that experience unless they travel to multiple shows. Here, it was all encapsulated in the same space.

The Bowery Ballroom is a comfortable little space. To get in, you have to first go down through the basement and bar area and then go back up into the room proper, where you’ll find the floor and a balcony above with a large window that pours in sunlight. For Lights’ acoustic shows here, the floor is seated, so it has more of performance hall feeling than a standing concert. It’s low energy and people generally aren’t talking too loud, so it makes it easy to focus on the magic of the set.

She hit on all her core Skin & Earth acoustic songs for both shows, but the rotated songs really gave the night some heart. “Don’t Go Home Without Me” was touching and poignant, as was “Same Sea,” and it was a total surprise to hear “Face Up” all the way from The Listening days make an appearance. “Drive My Soul” and “February Air” were also pulled from The Listening, giving these songs a chance to make an appearance after years of sitting dormant. And all of these were given emotional depth between the soft but present drums and the keyboard and string additions. And this was all during contrast-y, mood-setting lights, starry projections, and forced shadows on the back of the stage. You could get lost in the warmth of the performance – Lights’ confidence and outgoing nature on stage is infectious and helps move it all along.

If you compared this show to a show 10 years ago, you’d see how much more developed her confidence is. Not to say that the Lights of 10 years ago wasn’t confident, but after motherhood, seven LPs and a handful of EPs, worldwide touring, collaborations, and much more, she’s really come into herself as a performer. Celebrating this seems to be what “Long Live” and looking back on the past decade seems to be about. It’s hard to enumerate every little thing she’s done to get up to this point, but as a fan, you can look back on her collection of accomplishments and feel proud.

After the New York shows, I had a few hours until my overnight train to the nation’s capitol, so I ventured into the sweltering bowels of the MTA at midnight and ended up at Times Square at 1 a.m. After a little sightseeing, I dragged myself onto my ride and ended up in Washington, D.C. around 7 a.m. for a long, hot, sweaty day. The so-called LightsArmy fan group was in full force at this show, with the post-show group photo featuring dozens. At this show, I actually met some fans I’ve known for years for the first time, and it’s always a surreal feeling because these people feel like friends you’ve been close to for years even though you’ve never met. In fact, that camaraderie has led to me staying on couches and staying with fellow fans across the country despite never actually meeting before. You know, the sort of thing your parents screamed at you to not do when you were a child.

U Street Music Hall felt like a shelter from the sauna outside. Tucked into a basement, it was another seated experience. As a photographer moving around the venue, it’s easy to lose track of the performance in the moment as you’re paying attention to what you’re getting, adjusting settings, etc., but Lights has a unique ability to draw you away from that and pause once in a while to truly take in what you’re seeing and hearing. At this point, after having seen her more than a dozen times over the last decade, her shows often evoke a sense of calm and zen that comes from nostalgia and emotional closeness to her music. When you’ve been going for a decade, seeing her on a new tour is like seeing her play in the present while you simultaneously relive all the other shows in the past, coming together like a big puzzle of pleasant memories in your head. For her, or any touring artist I imagine, this effect is far more pronounced, and this new “Long Live” era for The Listening feels a lot like a celebration of that long road from the past and through to the future.

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Photos and words by sonder editor Andrew Friedgen. Like this? Sonder is an independent music, travel and photography publication at sonderlife.com. Give us a follow here or at our Twitter, Instagram or Facebook for more content like this!

Also check out:

Taking Back Sunday at Revolution Live

tiLLie trailblazes on tour with Lights

Silverstein at Revolution Live

X Ambassadors at Revolution Live

Rockstar Disrupt photos

#lights #lights poxleitner #lights bokan #bands #band blog #features #by andrew

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chillmichelle · 6 years ago

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Marriage and Failure

Y/N Feels their marriage slipping away, and her insecurity increasing

Word Count: 3.4k+

It’s almost entirely angst

Marriage is a term that seems to have an entirely subjective meaning. To some, marriage is a way of solidifying an ever growing union of love between two individuals; some view marriage as an opportunity for celebration and gloating to all those around them. Marriage can be a complicated series of political relationships or shareholding trades.

But to Harry and Y/n, marriage was sneaking away from press releases early to watch a lowly rated 2000’s movie and consume cheap thin crust pizza while laughing under the sheets of a crumb stained mattress. Marriage was gifting each other stuffed animals in the shapes of their favorite 90’s cartoon characters spontaneously.

Marriage was Y/n and Harry standing at their own wedding during the time of their slow dance, both enamored by nothing but each other's presence. Marriage was Harry leaning over during Y/n’s sister’s drunken toast and whispering “I’d rather be watching Legally Blonde with you right about now” before softly kissing her forehead, muttering a low “Love you, pet”.

And for a while, that’s what marriage was.

Sometimes, Y/n would be slicing fruit to blend in her afternoon smoothie, and she’d notice a new set of paints Harry had purchased for her on the way back from his studio session. And despite the fact that Y/n had told him multiple times that she had more than enough art supplies from his constant gifts, he’d always buy her more, as if it were a way of encouraging her talents. Y/n constantly painted then, selling her work filled with the uplifting inspirations of her relationship to numerous buyers. Her art room always seems to be in use, and finished paintings hung up on the walls waiting to be preserved and framed before being displayed in the city’s finest museums.

And when her wrists ached from constantly holding easels and brushes, and her neck ached from angling her head down when painting her artwork, Harry would be ready in bed to rub the knots out of her loving body. He would adorn her neck with kisses, press him thumbs into her wrist, and melt into her. They each held pieces of each other wherever they went.

“Inseparable” was the word Mitch used to describe them whenever he witnessed Harry asking Y/n about her art everytime she got a moment alone at her art display. He was like a giddy lovesick teenager, waiting profusely for the onlooker Y/n was speaking with to end the conversation so he could speak to her again.

Whenever Harry would wrap his arms around Y/n’s waist from behind, she would memorize the way his fingers slid across her skin, the warmth and delicacy of his soft fingertips. The way that her head fit perfectly beneath his chin as if they were built for eachother.

Harry noticed things, too.

Like how Y/n would hold onto his ring and pinky fingers because her hands were far too small for Harry’s long slender fingers. How - after a while of lying with each other, y/n’s breaths would sync up with his own instinctively.

He noticed the way her thumbs would rub small circles onto his skin when she held him, and when they were apart for more than a mere few hours he swore he could feel the light ghosting of her fingertips rubbing circles on his chest every second he missed her.

It was September when Harry left for his fourth world tour. The leaves were mostly green, and still very much stuck to the branches of the aging trees, but a few yellow leaves occasionally scattered the lush green rows on Y/n’s walk to the art gallery.

Harry had assured her that he would call her when he landed. The first leg of his tour was in Europe, so the time difference was a mere 6 hours from their home in New York City.

Y/n had always seen older married couples talking about how their spark had eventually faded, or complaining about how their love was merely a shadow of what it once was. But she had yet to feel that with Harry in their first year of marriage. She still felt her mind focused on the happiness of hearing from him later on, her heart thumping just a bit faster at the thought of speaking to him again.

As far as Y/n was concerned, they were still the same love blinded millennials they had been at the start of their relationship prior to marriage, and they both loved every second of it.

The flight tracking app Y/n had installed that morning stated that Harry’s flight had landed 4 hours ago, but taking into consideration the customs process, the drive to the hotel, and the check-in, Y/n chose to ignore the miniscule voice inside of her head telling her to worry.

So she spends the rest of the day being inspired at her favorite art gallery, trying to ignore the small itch in her mind telling her to call her husband and see what he’s doing. She grabs an overpriced but tiny chocolate croissant from a local bakery run by an old woman in downtown New York, and walks back to her and Harry’s shared apartment.

When she gets to their penthouse, Y/n strips herself of her sweater and her leggings before jumping into her shower. She turns her shower playlist on, only to realize that almost all of the songs are her husbands, the man she’s striving not to miss dearly as her heart feels heavier when she hears his voice in song instead of in person.

She finally finds a slower song she sings along to while shampooing her hair, when a soft ding from her phone temporarily interrupts her music. Y/n immediately stops her lathering and washes the bubbles off of her fingers (while admiring her wedding band just a little bit in the process). She reaches for her phone with slightly damp fingers and a hopeful heart, but is almost immediately disappointed when she reads the text message before her.

“Hey pet. Just landed. Tired, i’ll talk to you tomorrow. Love you, xx”

She’s well aware of the fact that his flight landed hours ago, but decides not to read into it too much. She comes up with the excuse that he probably sent it when he first landed, but it didn’t go through until now. But she can’t help but feel like she shouldn’t need to convince herself of anything.

The next day, Harry calls Y/n early in the morning. As she washes her face right after waking up on her side of the bed, she hears her phone ringing and immediately runs towards it.

“Hey, Pet” She hears a quiet voice from the other end of the line. Harry seems as if he’s whispering more than speaking into the phone, which makes Y/n giggle a bit before replying.

“Hey, love” She addresses him before adding on, “Why are we whispering?”. Harry lets out an audible chuckle before the line goes silent for a few moments.

“...Harry?” Y/n eventually asks into the line again, awaiting a response to her originally rhetorical question. Her interest has now been sparked, and she wonders what the reason is behind his quiet tone.

“Oh, yeah. It’s just, Mitch fell asleep in my room and ‘m trying my best not to wake him.” He quietly replies. Y/n nods in understanding although he can’t see her and tries to think up something to say next.

“How’s Italy?” Y/n asks. It seems like a basic question but it’s the best she can think up having just awoken from sleep.

“Amazing. Would love it a lot more if you were here with me though, you’d love the colors here, darling.”

Y/n’s face breaks out into a grin and she can tell he’s smiling on the other side of the phone as well. Y/n slips on her furry sandals to keep her feet warm as she ventures downstairs, her phone pressed firmly to her cheek as she replies, “Well I might take you up on that offer sometime.”

her moment of happiness is short lived, however, because as soon as Harry is with her, he’s gone. She doesn’t hear a response from the other side of the line, but rather fragments of a conversation between Harry and someone else. She’s pondering as to whether or not Harry heard her response when he mutters a normal toned, “Sorry, love. I have to go. I’ll call you back tomorrow. I miss yeh.”

This is all he states before the line goes quiet. She mutters back a small “I love you”, as if he’s still somehow on the other side of the line.

Harry doesn’t call her back the next day. In fact, he doesn’t even make an effort to text her.

She checks social media to see photos of him walking around Milan on his cell phone, and she can’t help but wonder what exactly he’s so immersed in doing that takes up all of his time, not even sparing 5 minutes out of his day that he could use to speak with her.

It’s after this that she slowly descends into madness.

On the second day of not speaking to him, she plays mini games on her phone until the battery runs dry. She figures it’s what’s best for her productivity. Waiting for a text message from her husband wasn’t going to do her career any good. She figure she’ll add to, or maybe even finish some art pieces, and then she’ll get back to her device.

She ends up turning it on, only to be met with no text messages or calls from the man she’s hopelessly in love with.

Within the next few days Y/n excuses his quietness, she ignores his absence, and she comes up with viable excuses as to why he’s acting the way that he is. She figures that he’s “Just in soundcheck” or “Taking pictures with his fans” or “Having fun exploring the city”. But she can’t help but think back on his last two tours, when they were dating but he would manage to call her for hours a day.

When a week passes, y/n decides to call him for herself. Her call doesn’t go to voicemail, but stops ringing after two rings. After she calls him again, the call ends before it even begins. She knows he’s rejecting her calls purposely, but she doesn’t address the issue and focus on her own problems instead. The stress placed upon her relationship was affecting her artwork, she hadn’t finished or started any pieces since Harry had gone.

Feeling a new fit of anger towards her husband for the first time since her marriage she trudges upstairs to her art room and grab red paints - lots of them.

She never expected for their marriage to turn out this way.

After 2 weeks of sudden lost contact from her husband, y/n blames herself. She wonders if she’s being too clingy and dependent on Harry, and she blames herself for him no longer speaking with her. She thinks of all the possible reasons he has to ignore her.

Europe has a lot of fashion savvy places, did he see the models there and realize i’m not enough?

Maybe I was too overbearing.

Did I bore him?

And then she sees the pictures.

His hand seems to engulf almost all of her thin waist. He smiles, a deep dimpled, love stricken, smile at her as he walks her out of the doors of a restaurant in Milan. Her nose curves perfectly where hers bumps, her legs smooth out into perfect porcelain skin where hers toughen at her knees. Her clothes seem too loose on her clothes all of a sudden, her face a bit too bare for his liking.

Y/n looks into the mirror and all that she can see is the woman who her own husband abandoned. And instead of blaming him, as she most definitely should, she blames the stretch marks forming light tiger stripes on her thighs. She blames the mess of paint and uneven fingernails across her hands from her artistry. Blames the vulgarity of her words and the elegance she lacks as opposed to the woman he now seems to make time for.

“There was no need for publicity. He’s married. He did it for himself.” She thinks.

Y/n breaks a bit that night. And since he’s a part of her, she wonder if he can feel her breaking from across the world.

Y/n still denies what she sees. She chooses to push away the narrative that she married a man who dared to be unfaithful to her.

Harry flies in during a one week gap between two tour dates in Europe.

He feels guilt enveloping him the second his feet hit the driveway in front of his home.

He cheated on her.

The pictures were leaked to the media weeks after the event occured. They had met, as friends. But after a while of taking too many drinks, the drinks drove him to make irrational decisions.

Harry thinks he should’ve noticed when he held her that night. Thinks he should’ve noticed that her nimble fingers were curled greedily around his arms, squeezing them instead of delicately rubbing circles into his soft torso.

Should’ve noticed how her breathing was too uneven and rapid to sync up to his. How her fingers were too pampered, to the point where his eyes welled up in tears when her acrylic nails dug their way into his spine.

He opens the front door with his luggage still in his car. He assumes she won’t want him to stay in their home, and decides to keep it in the car instead of taking it in just to bring it back out.

The door creaks open, and instead of being greeted by the smell of freshly baked cookies or vanilla perfume, he’s met with the lingering scent of expensive perfume. He hears footsteps thud from upstairs and braces himself for the inevitable result of her leaving him. He can’t even forgive himself for what he did, why would she ever?

But he’s shocked when Y/n eagerly hops down the stairs, running up to him to engulf him in a hug.

And even though Harry knows he’s infinitely selfish for ignoring her, and even more selfish for ignoring her as if she means nothing to him, he holds her small frame for as long as he can. He inhales the horrible scent of women’s perfume, but withstands it if it means he can be with her.

Y/n wonders if he hugs her tightly because she reminds him of the girl he was with. She wonders if she can make him stay as long as she continues to at as she does.

Did you ever love me?

She wonders if he was disgusted by her short stature. Wonders if he’d rather her do something like modelling where her hands aren’t calloused and she wears trendy clothing instead of old clothes she can spare to get splattered with paint.

“I missed you.” He mutters in surprise. She smiles up at him, pretending that they’re alright for now. She fiddles with her fingers, her newly done false nails being a nuisance in everything she does.

“Have you lose weight, love?” Harry asks, observing the way her hip bones nearly pop out through the thick fabric of her leggings. Instead of frowning at his apparent concern, she smiles and nods shyly at him.

“Yeah. Started going to the gym last week. Where are your bags?” She asks, before he has the option to shift the subject back onto her sudden weight loss. He mumbles “in the car” quietly, and Y/n kisses his cheek before telling him to go ahead and take a shower while she throws his clothes in the wash.

Harry jogs upstairs to the bathroom in their shared bedroom, before realizing that their bathroom is out of shampoo. He quickly walks to the small storage closet on the other side of the hallway and grabs another bottle. But on the way back to his bedroom he stops in his tracks when he sees the door to Y/n’s art room closed.

Y/n had generally always kept the room open, only closing it when they had guests over or went away on vacation. She had mentioned how leaving the door opened “Sparked an encouraging mindset” for her to pursue her art. Finding the sudden change strange, he twists the knob to the room before opening it.

The frames she uses to place her completed works in have gathered dust in the same corner they were in before Harry left. Her artwork scatters, hung up in different pins, but all incomplete.

Harry is so immersed in the similar color patterns of her recent works that he doesn’t notice her walk up the stairs and she surprisingly appears behind him.

“You don’t paint anymore.” He simply states. She remains quiet.

“Why?” He asks as he turns his head to look at her. She stares at a sketch in the corner of her art room, a redepiction of their wedding photo done by her. In the picture, she stares in awe as Harry grabs her hands, stained with different shades of blue from her oil pastels, and admires the wedding band on her finger.

She looks down at her plastic fingernails. The ones she wasted money on so that she could be just a little bit more desirable, so that she could keep her husband from leaving her again, and she feels ashamed. She’s overwhelmed with so many emotions that she can’t help but let out a loud sob as she collapses onto her knees and shoves her face into her clean hands.

“Hey, hey, hey. What’s wrong, pet?” Harry asks, stroking his fingers through her slightly tangly hair.

“Gee Harry, what could possibly be wrong?” She replies, all of a sudden feeling a surge of rage hit her. “For starters, we haven’t talked in weeks.”

Her head is in inner turmoil as she weighs her options. She fears that if she allows herself to be angry at him, he may find comfort in someone else again. She’s torn between wanting him, and knowing that having him could potentially destroy her just as badly.

“We” She removes a hair that’s stuck to her tear stricken face, “We shouldn’t have gotten married.” She cries, sitting down properly and pulling her knees into her chest as he kneels in front of her.

“W-What do you mean?” He asks.

“We shouldn’t have agreed to make a commitment for the rest of our lives when you couldn’t even commit for a year, Harry” She shakes her head.

He doesn’t cry, and although from the outside he may look less broken than her, guilt and panic and inner turmoil eats at him from the inside out.

“I love you.” He grabs her left hand, kissing the weirdly soft skin where her ring finger meets her wedding ring.

“Stop avoiding the problem Harry!” She snatches her hand from his grasp, her sharp nails probably scratching his hands in the process.

“You’re driving me insane. Absolutely insane! You told me that dating models was just a facade placed on you by the media, you told me you loved me, and then you replaced me with her the second I wasn’t there.”

He gulps as she yells at him, knowing of the dangerous places the argument could lead.

“I tried to-” She coughs from her own tears, “I tried to change for you, Harry. I bought this stupid fucking perfume, and I did my nails like she did, and I went to the gym and I fixed myself because I thought this was my fault.” Y/n looks down at her hands, feeling how different they were from before the tour started, when she was content with Harry.

Harry stares at her intently, his eyes finally welling up in tears. He wonders if he should hold her, or get on his knees and beg for her forgiveness. He’s never been more heartbroken in his life than he is in this moment, he thinks.

Of all of the different things marriage could possibly mean, they never thought theirs would be the one that meant failure.

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bernuviels-inspiration · 6 years ago

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Mike Shinoda's show in Zurich, 17. March 2019

I had the amazing chance to attend one of Mike’s concerts of the last Post Traumatic Tour. And it was absolutely awesome!

You can read all about my little adventure under the cut. It’s pretty long though. xD

I was very surprised when Mike announced a show in Switzerland, since we did pretty bad in the „WeDemand“ campaign and I barely knew any other Swiss fans. But I was so grateful and excited – Zurich is only about 20km from my home! In order to help make the show a success I founded a Facebook group for it. On show day we had 90 members! I had also joined the Linkin Park Street Team a while ago and they sent me some posters to put up. And I printed 1'000 flyers and distributed them around Zurich with some friends from the group. I met so many nice people from all over the world thanks to that group: Finland, Denmark, Brazil, Spain, USA, etc. And even finally some fellow Swiss fans! We planned flash mobs, painted a flag and even had a little meet up the day before the show. It was so much fun! Thank you LP Family, I love you all dearly. <3

Since I'm an LPU member, I tried my luck with the Meet & Greet contest again. And as usual when it comes to random, luck-based things, I had none. But there was another contest by the host of the event. They wanted us to tell them, why we deserve to win a Meet & Greet. Both of my sisters wrote beautiful, heartwarming comments about my commitment with the FB group and advertising, but also how I coped with Chester's death by drawing all those LP artworks and how much this band (and especially Mike) mean to me. Even complete strangers said, that they think I deserve it most. That moved me to tears! At first the tickets were given away to someone else. But one of the winners got ill and asked the host to give the ticket to someone who really wants it. And they chose me! I couldn't believe it! That was so nice of all of them. Thank you so much. <3 And so the most incredible thing happened: I got to meet my hero! The 16 lucky winners were taken into the cool London bus of a local radio station. There we all got to meet Mike one by one. It was awesome, but unfortunately also very brief. Everything happened so fast, that I didn't really have time to realize what was going on. I just remember that the first thought that went through my head when I stood in front of him was: “He is so CUTE!”. I mean, I knew that before, but he's even more adorable in real life and up close. xD I was very nervous and probably talked too much, which is very unlike me. But I could finally give Mike the Post Traumatic artwork I drew for him, which means my biggest dream came true. And he signed the second one for me. In the picture it looks as if he wanted to say something about it, but couldn't because I was blabbering too much – damn! I'm so sorry, Mike. Oh, and the hat was a gift to him from one of my friends from the group. I almost started laughing, when I realized he wore a jacket with the exact same pattern – that's so Mike! And also yay, free fluff. :D

After the Meet & Greet we were even allowed to go into the venue first! That meant front row! I've never been that close to a stage before and was super excited about it. I'm usually not the “front row type”, since I'm quite reluctant and shy. While waiting there, I saw a crew member put our Swiss flag onto Matt's keyboard. I texted the girl, who painted it and she was super happy about it. We succeeded with getting the flag to the crew through the M&G – I was damn proud of us! xD Then the “opening act” started. Well, it was more of a last minute stand in, since the original one (a local rapper) got canceled without any explanation. And so a young “DJ” was hiding behind his laptop, playing one song after another without doing any DJ-ing. They could have just turned the radio on, but it was okay. We weren't there for him anyway. And finally, showtime! Mike, Matt and Dan entered the stage with lots of applause from the crowd. They even started the set with a song that hasn't opened any sets on this tour before: When They Come For Me. I love this song, it's so much fun! I was just hoping that my parents, who I talked into coming to the show too (yes, I did that with everyone I knew xD), didn't catch a certain word. I didn't want them to think badly of Mike. xD Following was the probably most well-known (at least in Switzerland) Fort Minor song Remember The Name, also unusually early in the set. Then Mike took the first little break and welcomed the audience. That was our signal for the first flash mob! It was a very spontaneous one, inspired by a certain video, he has uploaded just a few days prior. The front row was shouting: More cowbell! Mike started laughing and walked over to Dan, who indeed had a cowbell on his drum set. Mike said “Just for you guys.” and played a hilarious cowbell intro to Ghosts, which is a kinda funny song anyway, thanks to the sock puppets. I was so happy: Another success and we even made Mike laugh! :D

Next Mike talked about a tweet from the same day, where someone was analyzing the chances of a song being played in his set. He doesn't like to be predictable, so he decided to screw up the statistics and play some extra rare songs tonight. Thank you, spreadsheet guy! xD The first song that came from this, was the hilariously sarcastic High Road. It's in my Top 3 FM songs and funnily enough, he played it last year in Cologne too – one of only 5 times on the tour! The following song had a high chance of being played and I love it very much: The emotional Roads Untraveled. During the “and if you need a friend, there's a seat here alongside me”, Mike pointed at the crowd again. That's just so nice of him! Then Mike played something super rare again, it was actually even a tour debut: Kenji! I know how much this song about the tragic history of his family means to Mike, so it was a great honor to hear it live. Some fans (including me) even made the peace sign at the end of the song, like he used to. That was really moving. And he continued with songs I love dearly, starting with the PT bonus track Prove You Wrong. Even though the melody sounds kinda sad, there is something so uplifting in those lyrics. Mike also put it into his Instagram stories and you can actually see me singing along. I sang every song as loud as I could, forgetting about my shyness for a while. It was amazing! The next song in the set was the only one that got me emotional in a negative way (but only for a second). I was prepared for In The End and his speech, but I was not prepared for Nobody Can Save Me. For a moment I was back on July 20th, sitting in the darkness of my room and singing along to the One More Light album while crying. Luckily I managed to snap out of that quickly, because I actually love this song. It's one of the best Linkin Park has ever written, in my opinion, because it has such a great message. Nobody can save us – only we ourselves can. And Mike sang so beautifully... What an honor to hear that live! Another OML song followed (luckily not OML itself, I just can't take that one): Sorry For Now. Dan played an amazing drum solo in the bridge and Mike added the demo verse of Lift Off afterwards. He then even rapped the chorus of Step Up, a super rare and old LP song! (I could tell, because barely anybody knew the answer to “Who can rock a rhyme like this?” - I swear I shouted “Like this!” as loud as I could. xD) I love Step Up! Especially in the amazing rock-hip hop medley with Nobody's Listening and It's Going Down, that LP used to play in the Meteora days. Mike then also introduced Dan, who got a lot of applause from the crowd. Later he also introduced Matt, by asking him since when he's even been there. Matt answered: “The entire tour, but sometimes I take bathroom breaks.”, which resulted in Mike laughing about his British accent. These dorks! There was also another crew member, that Mike introduced to us: Photographer Chady. Some Swiss friends of his had invited Mike to eat Raclette (melted cheese that you usually put on potatoes, pickles and pearl onions – it's very tasty!). Mike joked that eating lots of cheese before a show is really good for you. xD The set continued with PTs lead single Crossing A Line, which inspired my artwork. I just love how hopeful it is. During the song, Mike threw some guitar picks into the crowd. I wasn't trying to catch anything, since I already had that awesome signature and thought other fans deserved it more. But I guess Mike had other plans... During the bridge of the song he plays on his drum pads for a moment and then throws the sticks into the crowd blindly. Well, he tried to kill me with it! xD (Luckily I put the phone away, just a moment before the drumstick hit my hand. Damned it Mike, that hurt! xD)

He then played another PT song, which I love dearly: Hold It Together. The lyrics are pretty dark, but there is something very fun about the melody. The first mashup followed: Waiting For The End / Where'd You Go. The crowd's singing sounded amazing, especially in the outro, which is a piano version of WFTEs first verse and chorus. Mike praised us: “You guys have beautiful voices. You should sing more often, it's good for you.” Matt and Dan left the stage and Mike started this calm piano playing and speech. Time for our second flash mob! We held up signs that said: “Music Inspiration Kindness Emotion”. This time there were even more signs than for the first one. (I spent quite some time inviting every fan to join our flash mob before the show and handing out the signs I designed.) Mike noticed them, curiously asking “What are those?” Then he realized it: “That's my name! That's very kind. Thank you guys very much, that's cool.“ He seemed so happy and both of our flash mobs were a success! He then continued with his speech, saying that he doesn't want these shows to be sad, but to celebrate Chester's life instead. The crowd cheered very loudly for Chester for several minutes! And then we all sang the beautiful piano version of In The End together. After that, Mike asked us if we wanted to sing another song. Is that even a question?! xD He started to play Heavy, but stopped before the singing part, because he thought the crowd would want another song more. I already got worried during the show and it really hurt me, when I saw all the hate the Swiss crowd got on social media from people who weren't even there... As if we wouldn't know the words to Heavy... It's the most played LP song on the Swiss radio! We would have loved to sing it! (Me especially, because my father was in the crowd and he really likes that song.) But Mike decided that Numb would be a better fit, maybe even to not make everyone too sad. Numb is my favorite Linkin Park song, because it's the one that made me fall in love with the band in the first place. And it was awesome to sing it with so many people. The Swiss crowd did a great job! Video: In The End & Numb (with Mike's speech & reaction to the second flash mob) They closed the main set with my favorite medley of the tour: About You / Over Again / Papercut. Even though it reminds me a lot of Chester (About You & Over Again are the PT songs that are most about him) and it's really painful to see Mike perform Papercut's bridge alone, I could also enjoy it. Everyone was jumping around and shouting during Papercut. That song is just so great! Mike, Matt and Dan then left the stage for the encore break. The crowd started to sing “lift me up, let me go”, but not as loud as in Italy a few days before. We are just a generally reluctant nation. The hall also wasn't as full as I hoped it would be. There were probably around 2'000 people. Hopefully we did well enough for Mike to want to come back to Switzerland. After a few minutes, Mike, Matt and Dan sneaked back on stage, hiding behind their instruments. As if we wouldn't notice them anyway! Such dorks. xD They played a beautiful instrumental version of Robot Boy, which really let their skills and teamwork shine. It's so sad to think that this is the last Post Traumatic tour. Matt and Dan have really grown on me and it's hard to see them leave. Mike then sang a beautiful PT song I haven't heard live before and that wasn't even originally planned: World's On Fire. I know he wrote it for his wife Anna (and his kids), who is a wonderful person too, but it was as if the crowd was singing it for Mike. It's true, when the world's on fire, all we need is him. I'm so grateful that he shared PT with us! He led us all through the grief and darkness that followed Chester's death. And that night it was obvious, that we are in a much better place now. Following was the beautiful, consoling Castle Of Glass, one of my favorite LP songs. And then they played the second PT single Make It Up As I Go. Such an amazing song and it always reminds me of those hilarious moth memes. xD Mike encouraged us to sing his part of the chorus while directly looking at me. I was singing my heart out! He smiled and shouted “yeah!” That was an awesome moment. I rarely felt so appreciated like on that day, not just by Mike but also by the other fans. The last mashup followed: Good Goodbye / Bleed It Out (including a drunken pirate who wanted to give Mike a kiss xD) and the crowd went wild! For Running From My Shadow, the last song of the set, Mike came down to the crowd as he always does. He stood on the barricade just about two meters away from me. It was great to see him have so much fun up close! Afterwards he high-fived the front row (including me :D) and returned to the stage. He smashed one of Dan's cymbals until the end of the song and then soaked us in water. When Mike left the stage, he stopped at our Swiss flag and blew it a kiss. I loved seeing that, because it gave me hope that we didn't disappoint him and he might come back someday.

I still can't believe all of this actually happened! I made new friends from all over the world. I met my hero and finally got to give him my artwork. I got to spend the entire show in front row, super close to Mike. They played so many amazing songs and had so much fun. The flash mobs worked out and our flag made it on stage. All my hard work payed off. I really enjoyed this concert, it was a once in a lifetime experience. Thank you so much, everyone! I hope I'll see you all again soon. ;)

#mike shinoda #post traumatic tour #fan report #fan review #zurich #switzerland

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beca-mitchell · 7 years ago

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show me where my armor ends, chapter 1/7

ch. 1 | ch. 2 | ch. 3 | ch. 4 | ch. 5 | ch. 6 | ch. 7

Summary + a/n: Here is my Bechloe week submission! It will be a seven-chaptered fic, detailing Beca and Chloe’s relationship in this famous!au I’ve constructed for them.

Beca and Chloe are both famous in their own right: Beca is an up and coming musician. Chloe is an adored movie and television actress. They meet one day, by chance, and find themselves very attracted to each other.

Also on AO3

Day 1: Accidental Kiss

Word count: 3,202

Chapter 1: high hopes

Beca Mitchell enjoys a love-hate relationship with the press.

On one hand, she knows it’s necessary for her career. On the other, she never quite knows exactly how to interact with interviewers - or at least, how to be particularly charming.

Despite her general lack of propensity for the charm and interview etiquette, she somehow manages to make it through her day-to-day responsibilities without too many hiccups. She enjoys that her publicist leaves her alone for the most part. She has a few rules here and there, which really, aren’t too bad because Beca kind of just wants to keep her head down anyway.

Something that Beca can say she loves about her career, however, is the sheer amount of attractive people that she meets on a day-to-day basis.

She’s had her fair share of celebrity crushes, but more importantly, they’ve been reciprocated more often than not.

Unfortunately, it would appear, to her publicist, that it is in her own best interest to keep her relationships underwraps, so Beca chooses to just enjoy the fact that she’s single, as far as anybody’s concerned.

Beca can’t believe how many people equally want to keep their dating history and/or sexualities under wraps, but she’s not really complaining. It gets her through the day.

It’s something that isn’t a necessarily a problem for Beca, that is, until she meets Chloe Beale.

Beca has never been quite so attracted to somebody before and the fact is, they just click. They meet at an afterparty for the Golden Globes for the first time and Beca thinks that Chloe might be flirting with her, but under the haze and dim lights, she’s not quite sure.

They share one dance, alcohol and adrenaline making their bodies move a bit more sensually than what Beca might deem appropriate for public appearances, but at that moment, with Chloe, she doesn’t necessarily care. She feels like she can breathe for the first time in years, since entering the hellhole that is Hollywood and the entertainment industry.

When it comes time for Beca to leave, lest she does something she knows she’ll regret like...kiss Chloe or something, she does so with a squeeze to Chloe’s forearm and an apology on her lips.

To her surprise, Chloe pulls her into a hug.

“Nice to meet you,” Chloe murmurs, tightening her grasp. “I’ve heard so much about you. I’m happy to meet the face behind the name, finally.”

Beca almost wants to ask what Chloe has heard exactly, maybe something along the lines of whether Chloe has heard only good things, but-

“Oh,” she replies articulately, when she pulls back. “I, uh, same,” she manages to say. She has never noticed quite how blue Chloe’s eyes are, and all she can do is stare for a few seconds longer than strictly necessary. Chloe’s bone structure is crazy. Beca kind of wants to touch Chloe’s face or something. She chalks it up to the alcohol.

Chloe kisses her on the cheek, letting her lips linger - or maybe Beca’s mind is working in slow motion.

She does find Chloe’s number tucked into her clutch, written on a piece of paper with a smudged lipstick kiss at the corner.

Understandably, it all spirals into a fast friendship from then on.

Chloe Why are you so talented?! I’m just casually texting my radio station to request your song again. Just once more should do it.

Beca I swear you single-handedly sent me to #1 lmaooo

Chloe What can I say? I have good taste.

It makes sense in some respects - Chloe is an actress, starring in some popular Netflix series - one that just picked up a couple Emmy nods and Golden Globes over the award season. Even though she’s just part of another prong in the industry, Beca supposes they would have worked professionally together in some aspect sooner or later since she heard that Chloe has dabbled in singing from time to time.

Prior to the Golden Globes, Beca had heard of Chloe, vaguely, but never had the chance to interact with her. At least, not in a professional sense. That is, until the director for her upcoming music video informs her that they’ve decided to cast Chloe.

Beca approves in a heartbeat because she has been dying to see Chloe in person again, but their respective schedules just mean that they haven’t had time to hang out. Chloe is so pleasant and fun to talk to via text message and sporadic phonecalls, but Beca craves something a little more physical. Besides, Chloe is pleasant, talented, and, well, Beca has eyes.

Chloe is attractive as hell.

She’s kind of excited to see her again in the daylight.

“Hi,” Beca greets, shaking Chloe’s hand once she arrives on set. The California sun bears down on them unforgivingly, but Beca thinks Chloe looks beautiful, a little flushed, but dressed casually in jean shorts and a red and blue t-shirt. Her eyes light up when she takes in Beca, unabashedly giving her a quick once-over.

Chloe laughs, light and pleasant. “Come on, Bec. I don’t do handshakes. Hug?” she asks. Beca only laughs and meets Chloe halfway, allowing her to pull their bodies together in a warm embrace.

“How have you been?” Beca asks, quickly stuffing her hands in her pockets when she finds that she doesn’t want to let go of Chloe’s waist.

“Good, just working here and there. I had my agent put my name down for this shoot when I first heard about it. I hoped name-dropping you would bump me to the front of the list.”

“That eager to see me again, huh?” Beca replies quickly, finding her tongue suddenly unstuck.

“Well, I mean, you weren’t going to ask me to hang out, so…”

It makes Beca take pause, because Chloe’s tone is flirtatious if she has to describe it. “We’ve both been busy!” Beca exclaims, letting out a laugh.

“Yeah, sure, tell yourself that.” Chloe smiles, however, to let Beca know she means it all in jest. “I’m actually really excited we’re going to work together, finally. You’ll have to let me know if the acting bug ever comes to find you.”

Beca shudders at the thought. “I absolutely don’t think that’ll happen in this lifetime, but how about you keep me in mind if you want to work on a song together one day? I heard that one musical movie you were in. I like your voice.” Beca forces back her own blush at how absolutely nerdy that sounded.

Chloe’s smile is warmer. “One day. I like the sound of that.” She stares at Beca for a moment longer. “Well, I’m going to go finish my make-up, but I’ll see you in a bit!” Chloe giggles. “Also, I’ve never been to Disneyland before, so this is a treat.”

Chloe’s laugh still rings in Beca’s ear that it takes her a while to respond. “You’ve never been to Disneyland?”

Chloe’s voice echoes back to her as she walks backwards, still grinning radiantly at Beca. “There’s a first time for everything!”

Beca can only laugh disbelievingly. She’s still not quite sure what she did to be blessed with Chloe’s presence in her life.

PEOPLE Magazine

Chloe Beale and Beca Mitchell are FRIENDLY on the set of a new Music Video!

Shooting Mitchell’s new video last Friday, the two were seen hanging out during a lunch break at Disneyland to a lot of fanfare. They took photos with a few groups of fans before grabbing food to go. Eyewitness accounts say that the two were friendly, immersed in their own conversation.

Beale is known for her starring role in Netflix’s The Boss, which recently picked up five Emmy Award nominations and two Golden Globe wins. Mitchell is working on her second album, working off the success of her first album. Her single “FRIENDS” is her latest release.

The two were first seen together about six months ago during a Golden Globes after party.

See photos from Mitchell’s Disney-inspired music video set here!

Chloe So, we’re gonna do that again, right?

Beca Do what? Disneyland?

Chloe Yes, but this time, without the cameras. I want the full experience!

Beca It’s a d-

Beca bites her lip, quickly slamming the backspace key.

Beca you’re on, beale.

They do end up hanging out again, now that their schedules are a little less hectic. Chloe primarily films during the summer and beginning of fall more rigorously than she does the rest of the year. Beca isn’t really focused on much except the finishing the touches to her album.

They’re not...dates, per se, but they’re verging just beyond friendship. Beca enjoys spending time with Chloe, but she’s conscious of her publicist’s instructions that she keep everything tigh=tlipped and outside of the public eye, particularly since she’s still working on her own blossoming career.

All Beca hears is “stay in the closet” and it makes her hackles rise.

Still, she enjoys hanging out with Chloe - Chloe who has always lived a very public, carefree life, under the media microscope.

Chloe has become one of Beca’s closest friends, and with the speed at which Hollywood moves, Beca’s sure that Chloe is her best friend at this point. She finds herself texting her nonsensical things about fame, being a celebrity, and bounces song ideas off her. Similarly, Chloe texts her the latest updates about drama on set, her arguments with her director, and crazy fan encounters.

Above all, Beca thinks that it’s nice to share her life with somebody, even if it is in a friendship capacity. She tries not to let her mind wander too far.

Now, they’re sitting in a quiet corner at a cafe near Beca’s house. It’s a quiet Thursday afternoon, therefore there is less foot traffic.

Beca grumbles at small blind item on a gossip rag website that seems to be directed at her-slash-is about her.

She thinks that her sexuality isn’t too much of a secret, but she is careful to ensure that nothing ever really gets out because she’s still concerned with her own image as much as the next person.

It oddly feels like she’s in high school again, or even university. Where she was so concerned with what her own father thought about her choices and how she presented herself to her peers and community.

Becoming a famous musician was never really in her books, especially not with all the discouragement she received growing up, but she supposes stranger things have happened.

“You shouldn’t care so much about what people think,” Chloe murmurs, stirring her tea slowly. She watches Beca carefully.

“Not everybody can live like you,” Beca says before she can help herself. Chloe’s long history of dating flashes through her mind.

Chloe scoffs. “It’s just part of the job, sometimes. You know how it is. I just try to be as transparent as I can.” She looks concerned, then. “I’m just worried about you,” she says quietly. “You seem really...sad, sometimes and I don’t know how to help you.”

“You can’t help me,” Beca says quietly. “I don’t need help. I’m fine, like this. I can leave a perfectly fulfilling life.”

Chloe pauses, like she’s afraid to spook Beca if she speaks too quickly. “Then...why haven’t you asked me out?”

“What makes you think...I would...ask you out?” she asks, stiltedly.

Chloe blinks, like she’s surprised at Beca’s reaction. Like she’s surprised that Beca would have had any other reaction than passive acquiescence.

Beca hates simultaneously how calm Chloe is and how right she is in assessing Beca’s attraction to her. She bristles under how easily Chloe can read her, even after such a short period of time. Some of her own friends and family still struggle to break down her walls.

“Do you want me to ask you out?” Chloe asks, after a long silence.

“No! I don’t...I can’t,” Beca mutters. She pushes her mug away, not feeling like drinking coffee anymore - not when her entire body is thrumming. “You know I can’t date you publicly,” she mumbles.

Chloe looks down, a brief sadness passing over her face as she contemplates Beca’s words. “I don’t mind keeping it a secret,” she says quietly. “For you, if that’s what you need.”

It occurs to her then that Chloe legitimately likes her for some reason that Beca can’t fathom.

Another thing that flashes through Beca’s mind is how terrible it would be to keep somebody as beautiful and precious as Chloe a secret.

Still, her mind flashes to all her work, down the drain, because she believes the world isn’t ready to see that on some level.

“I don’t date, you know I don’t,” Beca says, defenses rising.

“I don’t care about your history, Bec,” Chloe says patiently. “You know that.”

“Who said anything about my history?”

Chloe glances away. “I’m sorry, forget I said anything. I didn’t mean to bring it up.”

Beca’s not exactly sure that she can believe it was an accident, but she’s a master of leaving everything as buried under the surface as possible, whenever she can.

It’s how she’s always lived; it’s how she has always been told to live.

Chloe I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m really sorry.

Beca Yeah. I’m sorry for freaking out. That’s just how I am.

Chloe I’m not going to force you into something you’re not comfortable with. That would be wrong of me. I hope we can still be open with each other, though.

Chloe ...still friends?

Beca blinks. She can’t imagine not having Chloe in her life, after everything.

Beca yeah. Friends, Chlo. Always.

They don’t talk as frequently after that particular day, and they definitely don’t see each other in person again until the People’s Choice Awards in November.

Beca is attempting to follow her interviewer’s line of thought - some question about her album release date and potential tour - when she’s distracted by Chloe’s presence. Immediately, she hears the fans screaming for Chloe’s name and she wills herself not to turn, but she smells her, which only makes her groan at how big her stupid crush is.

“Hi!” Chloe says from behind her. “Beca,” she greets. Beca smiles at her interviewer before turning to greet Chloe with a kiss on the cheek or some other formal red-carpet greeting when she meets Chloe’s lips...with her own.

Her entire brain short circuits.

She is aware of two things.

First, that Chloe’s lips are impossibly soft and gentle and slightly parted, like she was going to live a slightly open-mouthed kiss on Beca’s cheek.

Second, that she responds almost instinctively and Chloe equally seems like she isn’t keen to immediately pull back.

Beca does, however. She jolts back and lets out a short laugh to cover up her shock.

Her publicist looks like she’s torn between looking shocked and furious.

There are cameras clicking all around them.

“Oh my God,” Chloe says immediately. She looks stricken and apologetic, before her face morphs and she’s immediately laughing it off, and tugging at Beca’s hand like they’ve been friends for years. “I can’t believe that happened!” she exclaims, turning towards the interviewer and camera to play it off. “I - I’ll see you inside, Bec.” She squeezes Beca’s hands once, in reassurance.

Beca exhales, trying to force a semi-believable smile on her face.

“So,” the interviewer begins. “You and Chloe are friends, huh?”

God, where does she even begin.

Beca finds Chloe in the washroom during a commercial break. She had been keeping an eye out, meticulously (and as surreptitiously as possible) scanning the crowd and rows of audience members. She ignores the persistent buzzing of her phone, likely texts from Jennifer, pushing into the bathroom with shaking hands.

“Hey Beca,” Chloe says, catching sight of Beca through the mirror. Her casualness and friendliness throws Beca off. “Congrats on the nomination. I didn’t get to say so earlier.”

“You too,” Beca says distractedly. “Okay, we’re not going to talk about how you kissed me, then?” Beca asks, trying to keep her tone light.

Chloe laughs, drying her hands. “You mean how you kissed me? In public of all things.” She grins, a little wryly. “I thought you weren’t about airing your personal life in public?”

“Okay, first, you definitely kissed me,” Beca says, unsure why she’s making such a huge deal about all of this.

She feels odd, like something in her is clawing, trying desperately to get out.

Chloe sighs, turning softer eyes towards Beca. “It was an accident, Bec,” Chloe says gently, tilting her head. “I didn’t mean to startle you and you just happened to turn your head when I was going for your cheek. I’ll settle for a hand on your shoulder next time, I promise.” She puts her hand on the door, intent on pushing it open. “For the record though, you definitely kissed me back, but I’m willing to forget about it if you want.”

“Chloe, wait,” Beca starts, immediately feeling regret rush through her. “I’m sorry, I-”

She’s not sure where that sentence was intended to go. She’s not sure what’s going to happen in the next few moments.

She’s sure that she wants to kiss Chloe again.

Maybe it’s something in her eyes, but Chloe beats her to it - or maybe she read Beca’s mind. She cups Beca’s cheeks and presses their lips firmly together, like it’s the most natural thing in the world for them. Like it’s the culmination of this little dance they’ve been doing around each other for the past year.

Chloe smells vaguely of strawberries and her lips taste sweet, like peaches. Beca tilts her head, hands moving to Chloe’s waist, touching soft silk and bare skin. She feels like she’s kind of memorizing these little parts of Chloe, even if she’d like to deny herself the opportunity in the future.

Still, this is now and now, Beca’s focusing on the soft touch of Chloe’s lips against her and the gentle pressure Chloe exerts.

Beca isn’t sure when her eyes fell closed, but she’s just hoping that this isn’t some kind of fever dream because kissing Chloe is everything she imagined and more.

“Oops,” Chloe says softly, just as Beca’s eyes flutter open.

“Was that another accident?” Beca asks quietly, reaching her hands up to hold Chloe’s hands in place against her cheeks. She likes how secure she feels in Chloe’s presence.

“If you want it to be.”

Beca figures that accidents can happen in threes, as she leans up again.

Entertainment Tonight

Exclusive: See this video of Beca Mitchell and Chloe Beale kissing on the red carpet! The two stars accidentally lock lips at the People’s Choice Awards. They laughed it off as friends do, afterwards.

tbc / happy bechloe week! @bechloe-week

#bechloe #bechloe week #mine #my fanfic #text #beca mitchell #chloe beale #accidental kiss #show me where my armor ends #bechloe-week

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dancal13 · 6 years ago

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Day 2 – So Much Music, So Much Wine

Quick Disclaimer: Suzy and I both love live music, which is awesome as music has always meant a lot to me. And now Jack, Bailey and Megan are all into music - so I am still learning about and loving new music, while keeping up with past favorites. But I have grown to hate large crowds (might even be a phobia for the small-minded person - meaning me). So, we pay attention to all the small venues in Seattle and see a lot of up and coming bands as well as lot of bands that are past their prime. Pretty cool on the whole, but what we miss out on is the big tours, the bands in the their prime, for example U2’s most recent stadium tour. Not a chance that I would go to that even though I love U2. But Susan is clever and not one to give up on something she wants to do. As I mentioned in the Prologue a couple of years ago our friends the Wilbur’s mentioned BottleRock and Susan had her in. Combining and weaving my love for music with my addiction and love for red wine into her sales pitch. The opportunity to see the Red Hot Chile Peppers (never seen by me) and hang in Napa Valley. I was low hanging fruit. (Sorry not such quick disclaimer after all)

And here we are…

We woke up Sunday morning to a chill and the threat of rain and thunder (could be song lyrics). Much different than our previous visits, where our fears mostly included sunburn and 100-degree weather. No rain gear, no worries – Susan doesn’t believe in General Admission, that is so bourgeois. We are VIP Baby and VIP gets you shelter, nice bathrooms, shorter food and drink lines and an obvious sense of superiority. This of course could easily be disproved, but it’s our story, so stick it. Our friends the Robbs (Jill and John) flew in early that morning and met us for breakfast prior to rocking out. As true festival goers our breakfast included eggs benedict, smoked salmon-arugula-egg flatbread, Belgium waffles with fresh a bananas and a ham-gruyere omelet, obviously the breakfast of music rebels everywhere.

From there we dropped off the muscle car, its head banging purpose complete and left for the festival. As we arrived the clouds opened, and we again questioned our attire. We watched in utter horror as umbrellas were collected at the gate and tossed into waiting garbage cans - NOT ALLOWED. But we were quickly reminded who we were.

We were VIP and loving every minute of it. First Stop, I know hard to guess, the bar and wait, you guessed it a covered area looking over the main stage. We would never be anything but damp again as each big stage had a covered area waiting for us.

We had been here before, the covered area previously acted as shade, apparently it can serve two purposes. With wine and cocktails in hand we quickly worked our strategy. In the two years since we had last attended there were some improvements to VIP. The first being that they had set aside a huge portion of the field in front of the stage for those of us who wanted to see the performers up close. More on that later.

We headed back to the food and drink areas set aside for our elite status, which included some pretty awesome restaurants and drink options and an acoustic lounge, that featured performers who were finished with their sets or still yet to perform. These quick and intimate performances lasted about 4 to 6 songs, with a much smaller crowd, maybe a 150 people at its largest. Pretty cool. Just a quick note: though we didn’t take advantage of this (or get taken advantage of by this) there was a booth selling very high-end CUPS of wines. I wish I would have taken a picture of the menu for posterity. You could get a small “plastic cup” of Joseph Phelps Insignia for a mere $72. It is here where we were quickly reminded that though we were VIP Special, we were way, way less special than the VIP Platinum attendees.

After some food and drink and an acoustic set or two, we ventured out to the main stage to see Skylar Grey. My only knowledge of her was when we received the first set of promotional materials and I was scrolling through the various artists; I was stopped by the picture of her legs. See the accompanying picture 😊. Apparently, she is a singer songwriter known more for songs that she has written for more famous artists, she is also currently a local of Napa and a big fan of wine, maybe we will hangout some time. The first song performed was a song she wrote for Puff Daddy, P Diddy or whatever his current name is. She had a fantastic voice, tons of tats, and yes great legs.

We stayed for 4 or 5 songs, grabbed some fun pictures, and text-taunted our friends the Wilbur’s who went for multiple days and did GA, while hosting one of their daughter, a nephew and other young friends (as mentioned, VIP access got us pretty close to the stage)

Next stop the Firefox stage to see Gang of Youths. If you have been to a music festival, typically you will come across a band you do not know, know only one song, or maybe know a few and their performance far exceeds your expectations - You are now a fan! In the past I have had that reaction to Coleman Hell, New Politics, Odesza – this year it was Gang of Youths, sorry for the bad pic, I have video, but not quite sure how to embed. They were rockers from Australia, and the lead singer and guitarist looked like Jon Snow from Game of Thrones, so Suzy enjoyed them as well. Hmmmm… GoY vs GoT coincidence? I think not.

I was also able to capture this image during GoY, of the GA crowd behind me and my cup of cabernet. I almost felt sad for their existence. Then I took another sip of cabernet, enjoyed the music and all was forgotten.

We headed to the third of four stages to see the Teskey Bros, a blues band that Susan had become a fan of, but finally bumped into our friends Brian and Anne, pictured below drinking Frozés (yup rosé slushies)

and then stopped nearby for a quick visit to the Silent Disco. A huge dance floor where everyone is provided a set of headphones that are channeling 2 or 3 different DJs. Pretty funny to watch a bunch of people dancing together but to different music. On a channel that I wasn’t on, Don’t Stop Believing, by Journey was playing. Half of the audience/dancers were singing along and singing so loud that I couldn’t hear my headphones, it was time to go.

The Teskey brothers were good and we stayed for most of their set. We then made our way back to the main stage, the acoustic lounge and the food and beverage area in time for the evening set. This is where my funny wife stepped up. After getting an unsatisfactory pour of bubbles while I was receiving an abundant one, she decided to watch me during my next order. Again, I received above the line pours for both our drinks. Susan screamed; you are flirting with the guy working the bar. And then again yelled that I was flirting with the girl during our next stop. Obviously these days I don’t believe in gender labeling (thanks Megan for you guidance), so I just went about my business of flirting, I know right – I AM SO WOKE. The entertainment ensued from there as Suzy started making friends with people who had arrived early enough for seats, or spaces at the rails or just looked fun. After hanging a while with Suz, they would then offer their spaces to her as they left – by the end of the day we each had a role… Flirty WOKE Guy and Friendly “Who’s Your Buddy” Girl a match made in rock and roll festival heaven

Evening set: First up was Michael Franti and Spearhead. Seems like he performs every year at Bottlerock, and I’m not sure anyone has a better time doing so. We were near the stage, but when Michael Franti performs, that means you only get to see him up close for half the time. He is a bare foot performer who likes to wander out and sing in the crowd, and he does it well. This was the first performance we stayed at for the entire set.

It was nearly 8:30 now and our backs and legs were nearly spent, but the headliner “Mumford and Sons” took the stage. I’m a big fan of their music but was still surprised and awed by their performance. It was a bit harder than I expected, and they performed with so much energy it was great. I will find a way to see them again, probably multiple times.

It was a long day, and I was sore for a few days after standing and dancing for nearly ten hours. I’m am not interested in attending other festivals like Coachella, likely because they are not in Wine Country. I know snobbery right?

One insight I would like to share. If you are attending something like this and using a bankcard for drinks, check ahead of time with your bank, as we found out the hard way, that it looks suspicious if you make a bunch of small purchases in a day (food and drinks), in another state. The bank can and will freeze your card until the next day, or until you call them. The good news or easy solution is to carry cash or a second card. Learn from our mistakes.

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daggerzine · 6 years ago

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Outrun the Sun……Kelly Haigh talks about how it all started and where it’s going.

It was random really….I had posted some cd covers of a 90’s/00’s Canadian indie rock/pop band Ashley Park and tagged author/musician Michael White who played drums on one of the records. From there a few comments came from a Kelly Haigh, a name I remembered as being in the band and she appeared on a few of the bands record covers, too. I then friended her on Facebook and asked if she had any records out under her own name, which she did. One cd (Country Western Star featuring Kelly and Frances the singing dog!) and a book filled with Kelly’s amazing, expressive art that includes a cd (Post Apocalyptic Valentines) both of which I quickly ordered. The music leans heavily toward the country genre, which after hearing some Uncle Tupelo and Gram Parsons records in the early 90’s was a genre I dove into as well. Not having ever met Kelly in person she definitely seems like someone who dances to the beat of her own drum, a unique talent for sure. I then thought she’d be a person to find out more about as being part of Ashley Park and her own solo records that she’d have an interesting story, which she does so I sent her some questions that she graciously answered. Read on dear readers and discover the magic that is Kelly Haigh!

Where were did you grow up? Tell us a little about your childhood.

I grew up with my mom and two little brothers in Winnipeg, Manitoba. We spent summers on my Grandma's farm in Ontario, and so much of my inspiration and love of outdoors has come from those times. My dad was also a truck driver, so sometimes I got to ride with him in his big rig truck where we'd listen to all kinds of great old country music. When I was quite young, he once told me about one of his truck trips where he came upon quite a bad accident. He and his driving partner had gotten out of their truck to set up flares in the dark of night, and he tripped over a man's body. When there was enough light, he went back to check on that man's body, and he saw the man's head had been taken clean off! I asked if he also found the man's head, and my dad said no. On subsequent family road trips, I'd hound my dad to tell me where that accident had been, because I thought if I watched closely enough, I might find that man's head! I recently asked my dad if he thought that man's head had ever been found. He said, 'Don't be ridiculous, it probably smashed to pieces like a pumpkin.' I asked why he let me think I might find it by watching out the car window. He said because it kept me quiet for long enough he could have some peace and quiet. ha! But that was the start of my fascination with death and taxidermy. I couldn't bear to part with my first pet hamster when I was 11. The cold wintery ground prevented me from digging him a grave, so I skinned him. I still have his fuzzy little hide. I nearly became a taxidermist, my dad had an apprenticeship set up for me when I turned 19, but I decided instead to become a hairdresser.

Was your childhood musical? Did you parents/siblings/relatives play any instruments or were they big music fans?

Nobody I knew played any instruments, but we always had alot of records around. My parents were both big music fans. My mom loved Rolling Stones and Diana Ross and the Supremes, and my dad favoured classic country like George Jones, and Dolly Parton. I used to put a yellow tea towel over my head to pretend I had blonde hair, and I'd sing all Dolly's songs, hoping one day I could be a singer, only I was painfully shy. Whenever we were in the car with my mom, we'd all sing along to whatever music was on her car stereo!

Do you remember the first record you bought with your own money?

If memory serves, the first record I bought with my own money was the soundtrack to Grease. I had been given a record player for Christmas, and it was SO exciting to have a turntable of my own!

At certain point did you ever get into the punk and/or new wave scene?

No. That just wasn't for me!

Prior to Ashley Park had you been in any bands?

No. I taught myself how to play guitar when I was a teenager. I'd sit in my bedroom with my dog and practice playing and singing for hours and hours. But I just never could bring myself to sing or play in front of anyone. I was just too shy.

Please tell us about how you met Terry Miles and became part of Ashley Park?

Terry was my significant other for nearly 15 years. When we first moved in together, he put that band together. I asked if I could be part of his band, and he said no. Then his keyboard player quit the band right before a trip to Austin Texas to play South by Southwest. He said if I could learn to play keyboards, I could be in the band. I had two weeks. He showed me what chords looked like on the keyboard, and told me what chords were in each song. I worked my butt off, and that was the start of my music career! We recorded at home, and I got to sing on some of the songs, and play some keyboards on a few tracks as well.

What was the best part about being in Ashley Park? Did you guys play out often?

The best part of being in Ashley Park was just getting to be part of something musical. I learned so much about recording and writing songs from Terry! Our drummer was Gregory. He's in a band called Sloan now. He was always very encouraging and supportive as well. We didn't play often, but we did get to play a few shows in our hometown of Vancouver, (including opening for the Soft Boys), and as well, we got to tour England! That was challenging, but exciting. We were also on a UK record label called Loose Records, and they sent us some music from some of their other artists including Neko Case. Of course I loved her, and her music led me to discovering and meeting her friend Carolyn Mark, who has become a dear friend of mine, and a huge inspiration to me. And that has led to a whole other life of music now, so many years later...

How did Ashley Park end?

Terry became disenchanted with music. He wanted to make movies, and direct films, which he has, with some good success. He also went on to make podcasts, which are very successful, (including Tanis, Rabbits, and the Black Tapes). He always said we'd record another record, but I knew it was something he likely wouldn't make time for. Ashley Park didn't so much end as just fade away... Though, Terry has the music available online, and he's started to record a bit of music on his own for his podcasts.

Tell us about your solo career. Was Country Western Star your first solo record? How did it come about?

Country Western Star was my first attempt at writing songs and recording. I got to put into action all that I learned from watching Ashley Park songs come into being! I had a rough patch in life, evolution can be painful! So I took my heartbreak and turned it into art! Little songs would come to me each night as I slept, I'd wake up and write them down and record them. I played every instrument on the album. It was huge challenge, but seeing Terry do it, I thought that was just how you created songs! The record was kind of meant to be like a play, little snippets of scenes that hopefully come together to tell a story. Also, it was a bit of a love letter to my dog Frances. My most loyal and loving companion of the past 13 years.

Who is the person(s) behind Darling Music? I’ve got some other fine records on that label.

Terry created and ran Darling Music... He did put out some fine records, including the Solarists, (songs by our friend Cam McLellan, who is SO talented, and a visual artist as well)!

Please tell us about your book that came out a few years ago Post Apocalyptic Valentines (this also included a cd of more of Kelly’s music). How long have you been painting? Who/what are some of your biggest inspirations?

After recording my Country Western Star album, I wanted to record another album. This time, though, I wanted to have some friends who are FAR more talented, play some instruments, and sing with me. It was a really fun thing, and I had a ball making this book and album. I initially wanted to record a set amount of songs, and have a painting and short story to go with each. That was too ambitious, as it turned out, and the project evolved into just including many of my works, and some short stories I did write for this book, which connect to some of the songs. I knew I would have to make something that would stand out, in order to sell some copies. It was becoming clear fewer and fewer people wanted to buy another jewel case copy of a cd.

I've been painting and drawing for pretty much my whole life. I have a pair of paintings I got back after my grandparents passed away. My grandmother had kept these little paintings, darkened skies, owls sitting waiting while their prey, dear little mice, sit unaware of their impending doom. Life is my inspiration. There is so much beauty around us, which sometimes comes packaged with the biggest heartbreaks and ugliness. I always try to paint lovely things with a touch of ugly, and ugly things with a hint of beauty. There is one artist in particular, Ray Caesar, who inspires me the most. His works are beyond incredible, but as a human, he is a kind, and generous man. Generosity of spirit and encouragement. He found me on MySpace (remember that?) hee hee, and sent me the nicest note that made me want to keep painting.

Just one of Kelly’s fabulous pieces of art.

Name some bands/musicians from your neck of the woods who we need to hear?

My bestest pal, an incredible steel guitar/guitar player (and singer) Jimmy Roy, who plays music with me every Sunday night at a local music and dinner club called the Revel Room, also plays with a band called Petunia and the Vipers. Another band, Viper Central, every musician in those bands are so talented. Carolyn Mark is also one you must hear! My own sweetheart, Don Clark has a record up on Bandcamp that is pretty great! Two of most incredible guitar player friends, Paul Rigby and Paul Pigat have recorded together, Pigby... Kitty and the Rooster are pretty fantastic! As well as the Modelos! Also Geoff Berner I got to paint a couple of his album covers (A couple of Carolyn Mark’s as well, so I’m partial to their music as I listened to it so much as I worked on creating the album art) These are some I can think of off the top of my head. I'm sure I'll think of more later, and feel badly for forgetting...

How about a few of your current favorite bands/records (from anywhere)?

I have to be honest, I mostly listen to old time country music, and Elvis Presley. Stuff like that. I don't hear much current music, aside from friends who play locally! I do like to hear a little Camera Obscura sometimes!

What are your top 10 desert island discs?

Here's the funny thing about how music has changed... No longer going to buy copies of albums, but searching out music by artist, I don't know album titles really, for the music I listen to! I mean, a few I do, but the 10 artists' recordings I'd need to have would be as follows,

1 Elvis Presley

2 Buck Owens and the Buckaroos

3 Melvin Endsley

4 Wynn Stewart

5 Dolly Parton with Porter Wagoner

6 Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty

7 Anita Carter

8 Patsy Cline

9 Marvin Rainwater

10 George Jones and Tammy Wynette

What’s next? Will there be another record soon? Another book, perhaps?

For sure I'd LOVE to get into a studio with Jimmy Roy, and our band, the Murderbirds! We have SO many amazing friends who could play on it with us! We have a lot of songs written, so hopefully soon we can get this going! I think it would have to come in another book for sure! I'm not sure yet what that might look like!

Any closing comments? Final thoughts? Anything you wanted to mention that I forgot to ask?

Final thought... I think people should sing every day, even if it's just in the shower! Nothing brings as much joy, in my opinion, as music. It can bring people together in so many ways. It can build memories, help us feel connected to others, to ideas, to feelings, and to ourselves. <3

www.kellyhaigh.com

www.northern-electric.ca

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