#so it’ll just be this all over again
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WHEN WILL SHOWNU COME BACK FROM WAR. WHEN WILL MY MAN COME HOME.
#I actually cannot handle another Monsta X comeback without him#and I know once he comes back then one or more of the others will run off to the military#so it’ll just be this all over again#but my god#Shownu has been serving for literally 15 years#no one has served longer than Shownu#not even Taemin#bring Shownu home#BRING HIM HOME
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There’s a crack in the right hand side of your desk from all those times Kirishima has accidentally hardened his hand against the wood after getting a clear shot at your tits down your shirt…
#He feels bad about it he does…#It’s just he’s SO tall#And you’re always sat down.#And wearing those really pretty tops that show off just the right amount of skin.#He’s a man after all. A gentle one; but still a man!#He promises to replace your desk - again. Even tho he knows it’ll just happen all over
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one day I’m actually going to grab everything I went through last year and pour it into a raritwi breakup fic where they don’t get back together and I don’t do my usual thing where I hint there’s hope for them
And I think that will probably be a very emotional and good fic but also it’ll probably be incredibly crushing more than anything Ive ever done so honestly maybe we should all be grateful I haven’t written it yet
#I’ve been listening to JP Saxe’s ‘A Little Bit Yours’#and i can feel it clawing at me#‘all i do is get over you and I’m so bad at it’#‘maybe if I’d said the right things it never would have gone this way’#‘but maybe that’s the problem cause I still kinda think it was up to me’#‘when I never could have made you stay’#rarity moves away from ponyville because everything is twilight#and she sees twilight just lock it out block it out put it away in a box and move on#and rarity can’t#and she tries#and tries#and a thousand miles away#in the dark of the night#the silence staring her down#she has to live with the idea that twilight got over her like that#that twilight probably already let go long long ago#and yet rarity is there knowing still she’d kill if twilight asked her to#and there’s no victory in that#no poetry or muse#no beauty#it’s just sad and pathetic and a masochism and so self centered#to cling to the hope that twilight still loves her or needs her when she knows it’s not true and it never will be#and the element of generosity wonders when her core got twisted#when generosity and caring and giving became erasing yourself for some pony else#and maybe one day it’ll stop#maybe one day she’ll be fine#but for now#she quietly makes peace with a simple fact#that even if twilight sparkle isn’t hers anymore and never will be again#at least for now rarity is still a little bit twilight’s
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LOVE when the pharmacy decides to fucking dick around with my meds so badly that now I’m off my mood stabilizer, my pain meds, and my fucking birth control (in a few days) because they’re insisting I should have extra fucking bottles of each one and I DONT because they don’t let me pick up more than a one month supply of narcotics at a fucking time so do explain where these extra bottles are, hmm ????? and they didn’t have enough caplyta ordered last time to even give me my usual 3 months supply of that so … ???? get your fucking heads out of your asses and give me the fucking meds you owe me ??? like ??? but I’m in a nasty headspace right now so if I call the pharmacy this morning, I’m going to be that cunt ass customer they bitch about all day because this isn’t the first time they’ve done this. in fact, the first time, they straight up committed insurance fraud by marking one of my scripts as filled and picked up WHEN, IN REALITY, THEY FUCKING LOST THE SCRIPT AND HAD NO RECORD OF IT BEING FILLED OR PICKED UP IN THEIR SYSTEM, BUT YET, MARKED IT AS SUCH AND CHARGED MY INSURANCE AN ALMOST 8 GRAND FOR THE FUCKING 3 MONTHS OF MY MOOD STABILIZER THAT I. NEVER. RECEIVED. I’m genuinely about to report this entire pharmacy to the pharmacy board because I’m so fucking done with this place. it needs to be shut the fuck down because you’re telling me, out of an entire pharmacy, y’all share the same IQ point AND dead brain cell, collectively ??? then don’t fucking work in healthcare where people rely on you to know your shit and keep track of their fucking meds because you’re just constantly making shit worse on people since you can’t seem to not fuck around with these meds and not ‘lose’ scripts. fuck out of here.
and I’m pretty much out of weed, which is usually my back up pain management method, without the money to afford a delivery order by their cut off time to order in 3 hours because I just paid my fucking bills and have SOME to go towards it, but not enough for delivery to be free, and I’d still have to walk my ass to one of the ATM’s nearby because they don’t accept my bank as a prepaid method OR any of the cards I have on my person. 🫠
I can literally feel my back spasming and seizing on and off while I’m laying on my fucking side, I’ve had a migraine with a stupid ass aura for almost a week now because chronic migraines fucking suck and i was REALLY hoping this one would be over by now, my muscle inflammations that my pain meds are supposed to limit are already beginning to start their itching deep in my muscles so soon they’ll blossom into a whole fibromyalgia fucking episode and become entirely inflamed, my joints in my hands fucking hurt because of the dreary weather so I really need to get into a rheumatologist at some point soon as well and get that shit figured out, I’m nauseas as fuck from all the pain, and I’m moody, hormonal, and just feel like fucking death physically.
I’m just. I give up.
this shit is exhausting and painful and so mentally fucking taxing to constantly deal with and I just want a fucking break from all this fucking shit. I wish I could just … not exist … for even just a little while with how fucking painful existing actually feels right now 🫠😭
#i hate that CT weed is so fucking expensive#half a fucking ounce shouldn’t cost me $250 …….. not when I can go to MA and get an ounce for $108 after tax ……..#but I don’t have a way to MA because my fucking best friend. who made plans with me OVER THE WEEKEND. HER. SHE INITIATED THEM.#canceled on me last second even though I texted her early the night before when I know she would see it 🫠#nope instead she waited from the text I sent at 6:30pm until noon the next day to cancel because her period is kicking her ass#NOT FOR FUCKING NOTHING BUT SO THE HELL IS MINE ???? AND IM ANEMIC ??? AND DEALING WITH ALL THIS EXTRA PAIN ON TOP OF IT ????#and I know I’m being irrational and insensitive because pain tolerance is a sliding scale for everyone#but like fucking come on you do this 3 out of 4 times YOU make the plans to hang out and I’m fucking over it.#plus I’m the one that always pays for everything and does she ever even OFFER to hit me back for the COUNTLESS ounces of weed I’ve got her#all because she couldn’t afford it so I said I’d cover it and she never paid me back. I’ve bought her at least a grand’s worth of weed#just over the last couple months and she’s never ONCE offered to pay me back for a single one#like ……… I don’t expect it. I give if I have it. but you can’t even just offer ??? like the invitation to pay me back would be enough to no#leave m ragingly pissed off and feeling used as an atm again for yet another ‘friend’ because they don’t even OFFER to be considerate#of course I’d say not to worry about it but it doesn’t even cross your fucking head to ask if I want anything towards it#like the next time you get paid ??? when you go and spend your own money on weed that day but can’t reimburse me for anything IVE paid for#oh and I always have to give her gas money if I even simply just want to hang out because she’s always fucking broke somehow#and she works in healthcare like bitch I know what you make and you can’t play that you don’t have enough to get by or throw me 50 bucks#towards YOUR weed that I’m buying every once in a fucking while when I’m already paying for everything fucking else#I’m so angry and I know I’m being irrational and bitchy but this is what happens when you’re tripped off your meds cold turkey#and one of them is a mood stabilizer that makes it so you DONT feel this way about people and aren’t so bitter when you’re let down 🫠🫠🫠#because now my rejection sensitive dysphoria is going to be triggered even easier than usual and I’m just.#I actually fucking give up. I don’t even know what to do here. the pain going through my body is so fucking intense#I keep losing my train of thought because everything hurts and then every once in a while a DIFFERENT pain acts up and throws itself in too#I just. I just can’t fucking win.#I hate fucking struggling with my mental state like this when I’m off my meds.#and because I have to be a month without my stabilizer/pain management/birth control it’s going to take me ANOTHER month to get readjusted#to those in my body so I won’t feel normal again until nearly fucking mid to end January the earliest#and that’s fucking bullshit. I’m going to fucking **** myself by the time I get back on these fucking meds since it’ll take that long#fucking hell I just. I give up. I give in. I’m self isolating and cutting myself off from everyone because it’ll be in THEIR best interest#for me to do so when I can’t control my mind like this. I’m so tired of feeling so fucking shitty and I’ve only been off them for two days
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If anyone remembers all the dental work I needed done uhhhhhhh three years ago and never went back and ran away forever…I’m finally going back to a dentist on Thursday to restart the process and face my deep and utter abiding terror. And I also scheduled my COVID and flu vaccines for a couple hours later. And my psych appointment to restart meds.
I figured get it all done in one day, have my miserable immune reaction on Friday that I seem to always get with Moderna COVID shots, and then flee directly into the weekend and never be a person again except when I’m on and off crying. It’s going to be so kind to future me to get these things done and I can do it no matter how much I feel like I am constantly about to Actually Physically Die.
#you can see why I’m restarting meds#my brain is constantly convincing me that my teeth are about to actually finish rotting out of my mouth and I probably have an abscess#already that is going to give me a jaw or heart infection#which is VERY unlikely#and that my dog is deeply sick and I should rehome her and give her to someone who’ll take proper care of her and isn’t me#yadda yadda#it’s been fucking miserable#the only good part is 1) I’m going to get the worst part over with (starting the process) and#2) even if I completely flee and refuse to go back I’ll have one dental cleaning at least helping with plaque buildup and stuff#this is so fucking EMBARRASSING it’s all so EMBARASSING#it shouldn’t be this hard for me and I know it’s irrational#I’m just so scared because it’s so triggering for me for NO REASON and#I KNOW that this time when we get to the multiple fillings and at least one root canal and also my impacted wisdom teeth that it’ll be#different and I won’t go un-numb or if I do again they’ll have better checks in place for when I panic lie to their faces#but it doesn’t help#and I’m so sure they’re gonna tell me I need three or more root canals because I’ve waited way way too long#and I STILL can’t consistently keep up with brushing and flossing#which is the most embarassing and shameful thing in the world and I KNOW#but I’m scared shitless of all of it and it’s all a sensory nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway I’m not going to be okay later this week and I’m not particularly okay now#so if I’m not around online much#that’s why#but I’m happy news Aoife and I are having some lovely walks this week and she’s very cute and snuggly and we played tug a lot of times yest#*yesterday and she also stayed sniffing a bush while a bike went past two feet away#instead of getting startled and needing to hop or bark at it and then calm down#I’m so proud of her#and I wouldn’t be able to do this at all without my very kind partner who spearheaded scheduling the dentist (and researching places)#after my jaw pain nervous breakdown last week#health#personal
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Both love and hate the absolute DELUGE of ink a fresh sharpie unleashes onto the paper the instant it makes contact…. I have complicated feelings towards the deluge lmao
#pepper words#it might not even only be fresh sharpies idk. I don’t remember… it might always be a deluge#until it starts to die#I use to ONLY use sharpies to draw traditionally for like the longest time. but then I got fancy pens and shit.#that dont piss out all there ink instantly#it’s kinda fun tho.. like it forces you to draw faster. and press lighter. and just. be looser w ur lines#and even when ur being loose it’s STILL making thick as hell lines. but. that’s also kinda interesting..?#idk. it’s kinda fun using them again sometimes. I feel like it’s kinda freeing. u just have to accept what the sharpie puts out#u can only control it so much. u have to let go of that urge for perfection and take what u get#I feel like currently I really struggle w. liking my sketches more than my lines. and trying to replicate all my sketchwork#into my linework… but lines are not sketches!!! so it leads to linework I don’t like either cuz it’s all scratchy and weird#i feel like. 1 I need to learn. to let some pictures just be sketches. like if I like the look of my sketch and wanna keep that loose#conceptual sorta look. to just. not line it. not try to replicate a sketch in lines#and 2! to embrace smoothness in my linework more… to accept my lines. not looking exactly like my sketch#and to not go over every single sketch stroke in ink to try and achieve that.. cuz it doesn’t work!!!!!#and.. uhhh. yeah! I think using sharpies might actually help out w that. cuz u literally. u CANNOT go over them a 100 times.#or trace over every sketch mark. the spread of the ink does not allow it! and if u keep trying it’ll just become a mess#forces me to accept my lines as they are… lines….#ok anyway… sorry for the impromptu sharpie / art dissatisfaction discussion ghghg#sharpies r cool and interesting to work w!!! force me to do things differently i think I like em#but also because I’m so stuck in my ways w lining my sketches they also frustrate me initially ghgh- but who cares if I’m frustrated!#the lines down! it’s done! u just gotta move onto the next one! and boom. whadaya kno#all of a sudden u got some finished linework that isn’t exactly what u put down for the sketch. but it’s smooth and clean and shit!#thats cool lol
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Gotta admit... that's a hilarious concept xD
I wonder what the Swap family's reactions to Blue literally full body tackling this random guy, killing st him, and threatening him with a particularly nasty prank is?
How do they react when Blue, with Killer's "help," is finally able to sit down and explain everything?
A chaotic mix of shock, concern, pride (on Alphys’ side), and mass confusion, man.
Cuz Blue’s personality, from their view, just suddenly changed like. A month or two ago fhsjfbjs. Resets stopped, they got settled on the Surface, and Blue just starts dropping his act to try and be a bit more honest. But hot daymn, even then, this is hella extreme. And with the bombshell of a multiverse and gods and guardians and a group of Sorta-former-insane-murderer-versions-of-your-bestie just being buddy buddy with someone you viewed as the sunshine personified??
It’s hard to say how they’d react, cuz I’m sure they were trying to figure it out themselves fbsjbfjs
#lot of awkward silence for a bit I’m sure#watching Killer and Blue wrestle for a bit before the silence gets to Blue too much#I imagine Alphys is the one to step up the first and start fawning over the fact he’s a protector of WORLDS#but even then it’s mostly to just break the awkward worried tension so he doesn’t feel so bad ;w;#they’ll settle into a new normal…#but it’ll take a while#considering they’re basically meeting him for the first time all over again#asks#undertale#undertale multiverse#underswap#swap sans#swap!sans#winged au
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sorry if I become extra annoying im kinda tweaking over being on my own for the first time sooooo I might let myself become extra indulgent 💔💔💔
#‘aren’t u already super indulgent’ you’d be surprised#everything will be tagged either fanfic bullshit or gayalanwoke if you wanna block 😭#sorry i kinda maybe sorta will be having a moment. for a while.#idk if I can call myself disabled. but like yall know I have diagnosed cptsd and suspected-autism#sooooooo#taking care of myself is. not easy. At all#I can hardly manage with my parents#and now . idk. basically my routine for the past 20 years is being disrupted and im not handling it well#not only that. just.#again like I said taking care of myself in general is really hard#AND I have . college now.#lord 😭#I’ve always been a straight a student in high school and community college right#four months after my cptsd developed? I dropped out of community college 🫠#bc I literally couldn’t handle it#that was last February#now im at a . four year school#so#im tweaking#like actually this time#and since hyperfixations are All Consuming . they are as helpful as they are debilitating yk#so like yes this show/the fic might contribute to education problems. buttttt it’ll also stop me from crashing out!!!!!#so . yeah. yall might be hearing a bit more from me 😵💫#or#I’ll become extremely self conscious and never follow through#sorry#this is so funny I’m freaking out that yall might be angry im posting abt stuff that makes me happy LMFAOAOO#THIS IS LITERALLY ALL IN MY HEAD LMAOOOO#yall: hey gayalanwake! what’s up? cool binder. hey gayalanwake! wanna come over to my house today? :D#me: they alllll hated me 🐺
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mostly-finished the dlc last night which really made me realize how many npc quests i fucked up or locked myself out of despite trying to be really careful to avoid that lmfao
#[spoilers in the tags]#the only one i DIDNT fuck up was ymir’s and even then i missed a chunk of dialogue and almost missed the spirit ash sisters thing#and i got igon’s quest done#but#i completely locked myself out of freyja’s#i missed a big chunk of stuff from thiollier’s#and thus the dragon priestess’s#i missed a chunk of stuff from ansbach’s which led to fucking over freyja#i think hornsent’s quest fucked ITSELF up because he despawned while invading#i definitely missed some things about leda#and i’m pretty sure i missed some stuff with moore too#i MIGHT have gotten all of dane’s stuff but if so it means all he did was fight me once then get summoned for a boss then fight me again#this is still the most frustrating part of elden ring as a whole to me#i missed ALL the foreshadowing for the final boss because i fucked up freyja’s quest because ansbach just disappeared#lmfao#don’t go to the shadow keep too early kids! it looks like the path you’re supposed to take but it’ll fuck everything up!#speaketh
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home from work
#if I speak…#one of the girls walked out yesterday#the best worker we have is on the verge of blowing up on this bitch’s leaders bc since he can do everything quick and efficiently already#they’re putting 3 to 4 ppl’s workloads on him to see how far they can extend his worth and then they’re over his shoulder the whole time#micromanaging him so today he almost lost it and was literally walking around mumbling about his disrespectful they all are (facts)#and how if they don’t think he’s doing it right then they can do it and I know for a fact one of the ladies heard him#bc he wasn’t even trying to hide it at this point and like this dude is cool he has a lot of patience and helps out any way he can#so if HE’S on the brink of snapping then the rest of us don’t stand a chance LMFAO#anyways today was a fucking mess those leaders know nothing about our store yet so they have us making less than what we need until we need#it so we get behind constantly and they made prep a disaster bc again they think they can just prep a bunch of stuff in the morning#and it’ll last the whole day and yes that works in theory but the reality of the situation is every day is different and today#we sold double what we did yesterday so they had to move me to prep to fix their mistakes bc we were running out of stuff 4 hours in lmfao#and I’m the only one left who knows how to do everything on prep bc the other girls had never done it before#we’re supposed to prep 20 mac n cheese trays in the morning for the whole day#we open lunch at 10:30 tell me why I go into the cooler at 12 put more in the oven and there’s only 5 left#it’s been less than 2 HOURS and you’re already running out of macs which means those idiots prepped barely anything just to try and save mo#*money to cut down waste but that gag if you’re losing money bc now you’re short on everything and customers are leaving bc they’re having#to wait a long time for their food#and macs take 40 minutes to cool LMFAO#I get over there they’re out of parfaits they’re out of fruit cups they’re out of kale salads the front is coming in and having to take#stuff as I make it bc they keep getting orders and it’s all just a fucking mess#I have to make a custom wrap and what happens?? those morons didn’t pull the flatbreads out of the freezer like they’re supposed to every#night so now we have no flatbread and I had to run back there and put them in the warming drawer to defrost and we lost an order bc I had#nothing to make the wraps with <3#I go back there to get more cold chicken SPOILER ALERT they didn’t have anyone make any this morning so now there’s no chicken for the wrap#and salad and it has to be grilled and then chilled for 2 FUCKING HOURS before it can be used#they’re a fucking disaster like 😭#was the store perfect before?? ofc not but it ran quickly and efficiently as it should and now it’s literally just a mess#this bitch hasn’t even owned it for a full week yet and has already fucked it all up#womp womp!!!!!!
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hate hate hate the feeling of turning in a part of an assignment and being hella embarrased abt how it is :3 like, feeling someone’s just gonna email me like ”hey?? what the fuck ??? what are u doing here this is garbage” like yeah dude i dont know what to tell you, things did not go well this week
#doing one that’s like a bigger thing but has weekly deadlines#and this week hasn’t been good for that so it’s like very fucking pathetic of how little I got done#and it’s all basically shit anyways like i know it doesn’t work and won’t work with the way I’m going about it#also I’m only submitting the previous version bc i don’t even fuckin know what’s going on with this current one#like the code’s all bad and all over the place and I have no clue where i’m trying to go with it#so it’s like i basically didn’t get shit done this week#only made myself more confused#i need to take a step back and like really fuckin think what I’m going to do with this bc it’ll just get worse if I just keep trying to go#with this shitty thing i have on my hands rn#and also im like over an hour late already bc gotta write a weekly report and idk what the fuck to say like#’’oops sorry dude it’s shit rn i have no clue what’s going on but also dont have anything i could ask help with bc im too confused so it’s#just uhh this thing now; a mess <3’’#the way i’ve been handling this course like ?? uh oh will i ever have the audacity to step a foot to my campus ever again lol#yes im now writing this to procrastinate writing that weekly report thing#ughhh yes im hella positive rn all is shit#(also there was parliamentary election today and it didn’t end well so that might be why everything feels 5x more shitty rn)#april 2023#2023
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didn’t see my grandad one last time before he died bc i prioritised my masters thesis and now I’ve done the same shit and missed out a last chance to see my grandma before she died bc of a fucking unpaid internship
#I’m just a terrible person 😭#i had such a terrible approach to my#mums death and have been trying so hard to not repeat those mistakes and regrets and I keep doing it like im watching the car crash in#front of myself and I can see the inevitable outcome and I cannot stop it#anyway. funny going from 4 grandparents to 2 in 6 months#the last 2 are both very unwell as well so don’t think it’ll be long#have a brother with terminal cancer too jts all just death death death here#it is sad though :( I’ll literally be back in my hometown this Sunday. in just over 48 hours#I missed getting to see my grandma again by 48 hours :(#I was going back in large part to see her
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this sucks this sucks this SUCKS
#blue chatter#literally NOTHING IS WRONG#nothing weird is happening this week besides being busier than usual tomorrow#which is perfectly okay and I can handle it#but I’ve been having increased frequency of dissociative episodes and intrusive memories all week#I don’t necessarily think they’re flashbacks? bc I know where I am in real life and that it’s not real#but I’ll remember the same traumatic thing over and over again#and it’ll just spin like a broken record in my brain for hours#or my body will lock up and I’ll get flashes of something new I just remembered#and I’m not dissociated because I am *so firmly* in my body but I can’t fucking *move*#because if I move then I’m not safe or someone will be mad at me or smth. idk. I know it’s irrational.#I would really like it to stop#I want a break
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..
#personal rant below bc I don’t feel like cluttering my notes app even more and I don’t wanna accidentally find this at 3am some night#I really need my older sister and I just don’t have her#in 2 days it’ll have been 15 years since she disappeared and selfishly I need someone in the family that isn’t the golden child (brother)#and I wish I could confide in my sister in law but I just can’t because she’s an extension of my brother and I don’t want to talk to him#about how I feel like a failure because he bought his first house at 25 and he’s currently the age that my mom was when she had me#and he has his own family to worry about#and I wish I could confide in my older sister figure who I’ve had since elementary school but she stopped responding to my texts last year#and it was like losing my actual sister all over again in slow motion#and I just. I need an older sister to talk some sense into me before I fucking implode#getting high and listening to Taylor Swift only helps so much#whatever I’m just feeling really lost and behind and like I’m fucking failing#and I’m really feeling the huge gaping wound in the middle of my family this week#I don’t even know what she’d be like. I never even really knew her. but I’d like to have the option to ask her for advice#(I don’t idolize this person she’s literally a stranger I just need another girlfailure in the family so the spotlight isn’t solely on Me)#my stuff
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shockingly work has not been terrible today so far!!!
#well. this morning fucking sucked#bc i had to stock + backstock curtain rods (pain in the ass; no room)#and two of the boxes got a fuckton of detergent? fabric softener? Blue Goop. all over.#so i got Blue Goop all over my handsies and my new boxknife :(#but i washed my hands and my knife after#and after that point i was chillin#esp once i got my energy drink :)#i was in the middle of a back to school cart. it wasn’t that bad just mostly bulk pencil cases and whatnot#but the guests were being a pain in the ass bc their kids were running around screaming and playing and it’s like… please still have fun#but for the love of god you are going to run face first into someone’s bigass cart and it’ll be a whole Thing#but then my team lead was like hey kate can you jump into order pickup ASAP we need help#so i did! AND FOR ONCE IT WENT SOO SMOOTHLY I FOUND EVERHTHING SO QUICKLY ZERO ISSUES#and i even packed/sorted them all on my own without asking for help :D#and then as i was walking to my lunch break#my lead stopped me again like hey when u come back do xyz instead of the back to school#like YESSSS
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my roommate cut my hair for me tonight and at first i was (secretly) sad because it is wayyyyy too short but then i realized. i literally just got the 1989 chop. like this was all meant to happen this way
#nooo bc like 😭 it is NOT her fault. it is entirely my fault#i have curly hair (maybe i should start straightening it just to fully live out the aesthetic lmao) and i made the rookie mistake of showing#her where i wanted it to fall when it was DRY#and on top of that obviously when it comes to hair cutting everyone is always doing too much#but my friend is soooo cautious and gets anxious about these things so i honestly thought she wouldn’t do enough#and would kind of ask me while doing it in increments#like last time when i had my roommate cut my hair i couldn’t even tell that she did ANYTHING#but anyway yeah she definitely went shorter than where i pointed which already was faulty in the first place because i forgot how much it#would curl up#i mean i’m actually happy because it’s been frustrating me how absolutely tangled it’s been getting so that’s a relief#but i’m mostly sad because it’s about to be halloween#and i wanted my dead ends GONE for halloween because i am being barbie. who has notoriously perfect hair!#and they definitely are but i also lost all my length#like i’m trying to tell myself it’ll grow back soon but the last time my hair was this short was maybe like two years ago#and i’ve missed my long hair so bad it was finally starting to come back#but now it’s gone again and i have to start all over ☹️ and my barbie hairstyle options are severely limited#i will probably do braided pigtails#mine
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