#taking care of myself is. not easy. At all
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dontmixpaintinyourcoffee · 3 days ago
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This one goes out to all the bitches who love some good Safehouse Era Horror. It's me, I'm bitches. I want Jon and Martin to be fucked up and eldritch but I want them to be fucked up and eldritch and loved
(Notes under the cut because I can't help myself. Heads up, I do go into some detail of how Jon gets injured so I can explain my thought process for how I designed his scars. All canon-typical and fairly clinical in tone.)
Here's how I picture Safehouse Jon!
He doesn't need glasses anymore by this point, so he should just be wearing empty frames, but I drew this before I settled on my glasses headcanons. This drawing looks better with the reflection anyways.
He hasn't gotten a haircut since before his promotion to Head Archivist. He doesn't love the weight of it on his neck, but he also uses it to fidget, and he really doesn't want to go through the whole process of cutting it. He's disliked haircuts since he was a kid (People: Bad. Small talk: Bad. Touching: Bad. Loud sounds: Bad. People talking all at once: Bad) and since his time with the Circus he's only grown more reluctant to go and get it done.
At this length his hair is naturally pretty curly but he is. Not taking care of it. I actually put a lot of effort into trying to make it look brittle and tangled (I have a lot of experience lol, my hair is quite thick and I've always hated taking care of it. Yes I am also projecting my feelings about going to a hairdressers onto him why do you ask.)
The various scars were a bit of a strange task, but anyone who has seen my takes on The Bad Kids knows I'm not averse to selective realism in my fiction. Easiest one was the neck, I always pictured Daisy making a vertical cut based on "through the voice box". The larynx is longer than it is wide, so I think Daisy would go for the method that dealt damage across the largest total surface area. Yes I am aware that I'm speaking the same way Martin does when he explains his corkscrew.
The worm scars were easy because I barely drew any. There are a few marks on his cheek, but they're just surface bites. I picture most of his encounter with Prentiss showing on his legs, particularly on the right side, with enough damage there that he starts using a cane after the incident to keep weight off his right leg. More research to be done on this particular detail.
Finally the burn on his hand from Jude. This was the weirdest one to figure out just because of the nature of the injury. How do you quantify the damage done to an epidermis by a living manifestation of sometimes-boiling wax that can heat and cool at will? I settled on it being a second-degree burn that healed supernaturally fast, containing the damage to the space Jude had direct contact with. He'd probably have some mobility issues there as well. I know there are ways to help with mobility and pain after a severe burn, but I don't know how much of it Jon would actually. Do. Like I said, definitely further research to be done on these last two.
Hey so I'm gonna ask you to stop and consider the horror of the watcher. The helplessness. The guilt. The inherent terror of being a spectator, a participant by proximity but not by action. The horror of not being able to look away, of being a bystander. Jon forgets to blink sometimes. But wouldn't it be so much worse if there were no eyelids at all? That's how I interpret the description of The Archivist being "All Eyes" :D
I love a good Many-Eyed Jon, so I whipped up my own interpretation here. I think the more he Becomes the more he starts to resemble the thing from the dreams. He has a lot more control of it in S5, but it still creeps up on him and he has to consciously go back to a human shape.
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kikidoul · 2 days ago
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── CRIMINAL LOVE.
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໒꒰ྀི ^ ⸝⸝ ^ ꒱ྀིა 양정원 x fem! reader content established+secret relationship reader is a detective while jungwon is part of the mafia ᥫ᭡ warning explicit sexual content petnames used fingering pussy eating cum eating edging/orgasm denial . . .!? 1328 — mlist. req
note. uh, i'm not really proud of this but i'm too lazy to rewrite so i'm afraid you have to make do with this... </3 taglist. @tfwbluu
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You groaned for the unknown time, stretching your arms above your head as you leaned back in your chair. You’ve spent the past three hours seated by your desk, boring holes at the sheets of papers scattered across your desk. It was a case that could risk or break your chances of getting a promotion—something you’ve been yearning for. Being a detective is not easy, especially when you have criminals who are constantly outsmarting you. 
Fuck it, I’m dealing with this tomorrow. 
Sighing, you start packing up, filing the papers into a clear folder and shut down your laptop. You were the only one left in the office, leaving you the task of shutting off the lights and air-conditioner before leaving. You headed to the basement where your car was waiting for you and you drove off, returning home. 
“...Why are you here?” You deadpanned, standing by the door frame as a familiar figure made himself at home, seated by the dining table with already cooked dishes. 
Jungwon flashed you his signature smile, his dimples showing on his round cheeks. “Why not? I got off work early and decided to surprise you. Why? Don’t you miss me?” He batted his eyelashes at you, laughing when you rolled your eyes. 
“I miss my peace and quiet. It was great having the whole house to myself. What happened anyway? Didn’t you tell me the mission will last for two weeks?” You asked as you removed your shoes, neatly placing them by the side. 
Jungwon rose from his seat, approached you to help in taking your things and placed them on the coffee table. “It finished earlier than we expected and Hyung decided to let us have a short break. But enough about me, how was your day, darling?” 
You shot him a glare. “Oh, you know, thanks to a certain someone, I had to stay behind, trying to figure out what his main goal is.” 
Humming, he steps closer, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your left shoulder, slightly swaying you side to side. “Sounds like you’re under lots of pressure, love. Perhaps you need to destress.” 
He coos, hands subtly snaking its way underneath your clothes, tracing the outline of your body. Goosebumps formed on your body when his warm hands touched your skin. You looked over your shoulder, arching an eyebrow. 
“And what do you have in mind?” You questioned. 
The smirk Jungwon gave you was anything but harmless. His eyes twinkled with mischief, a sly smirk stretching across his face. “I’ve an idea.” 
~
“Hah—Wonie—oh fuck,” you cried out, your back arching off the bed as you gripped onto both the pillow and his hair with your hands. 
Your legs were slung over his broad shoulders, spread open for him like you were the main dish served to him on a silver platter. Your back arched off the bed at a particularly harsh suck of your clit, digging your feet onto your boyfriend’s back to ground yourself. You weren’t sure how much time had passed. It could be minutes or hours but you couldn’t care. Not when Jungwon was eating you out like there was no tomorrow. You rocked your hips against his mouth, breathless moans and whimpers fell from your lips. 
You felt the familiar ache in your stomach and how your muscles tightened. “Fuck—Wonie, please, please,” you mewled, wanting to be free from this sweet torture your boyfriend was putting you through. 
Much to your utter horror, frustration and disbelief, Jungwon moved away. He chuckled at the desperation written all over your face and just to be a tease, he rolled your puffy clit in slow circles, grinning at how your legs twitched. 
“Nuh uh, I don’t think you deserve to cum, sweetheart,” he clicked his tongue disapprovingly.
His words made you sobbed out loud, tears of frustration prickled your eyes. “Why!?” 
Jungwon hums. “Because you didn’t solve the case. How about you tell me where you stopped and I’ll help you out. If you can answer me correctly, you can cum. How does that sound?” 
Your left eyebrow subtly twitched, unable to believe what he was saying. “Jungwon, I swear to god—!?”
The rest of your words died in your throat when he pushed two fingers in and you instinctively clenched down on the sudden intrusion. Your eyes rolled up at the feeling of him twisting his fingers in just the right angle, hitting the spot that made you see stars. As quick as it happened, Jungwon pulled his fingers out, eliciting a disappointed sound of protest from you. 
“First question: how far are you into your investigation?” He questioned, calm and collected while you, on the other hand, were a mess. 
It was already hard for you to process his question, especially when he thought it was a great idea to kiss your inner thighs, touching you everywhere but your poor neglected and throbbing clit. Your breath caught in your throat, heart beating in anticipation when you felt his hot breath grazing against your clit, only to let out a startled yelp when he pinched your thigh. 
“Hey, I’m asking you a question, you know. What? Don’t tell me you’re already fucked out?” He mocks you, moving his fingers down to brush them against your clit, slowly spreading your folds apart and blowing hot air at it, savoring the way you squeaked. 
“Imagine how your superior will react if they were to see their brightest, smartest and intelligent detective getting defiled by the very same criminal she’s tasked to go after,” he continues, emphasizing some of his words with him moving his long, thick and slender fingers in a scissors-like movement, making your mind reeled from the delirious feeling. 
“Ngh, I—I’ve figured out—hah—your patterns, oh god,” you breathed out, gripping onto the sheets for dear life as Jungwon ducked his head to lap away at your clit, collecting your slick to spread them all over your puffy folds. 
As far as you were aware, you have been edged for the past one or two hours and all it took was for a few simple licks with his skillful tongue for you to push you over the edge. Your body shook vigorously from your orgasm, limbs twitching and spasming about as Jungwon drinks it all, not letting a single drop go to waste. 
You knew you were in deep trouble when you caught how Jungwon’s eyes darkened a shade. You nervously gulped, watching as he moved upwards, hands resting on both sides of your head. You felt small under his intense, unwavering gaze and you squirmed about on the sheets. A gasp left your lips when he gripped your chin, forcing you to look at him. 
“Looks like you disobeyed my order. I hope you’ve prepared yourself,” he warned. 
The next day, you arrived at your office feeling more exhausted than usual. It was a miracle that no one noticed how you were limping as you made your way to the pantry area. 
“(Name), how’s the progress on the investigation going?” Your superior asked, startling the lights out of you as you were in the midst of preparing a cup of coffee for yourself. 
Turning around, you plastered what you hoped was a convincing smile. “Ah, I’m almost there and I just need a little more time before I can catch them, sir.” 
Your superior nodded, pleased with your response and left you alone. You sighed, hand tracing the hickey left on your neck—concealed by a layer of makeup. 
Bzzt, bzzt. 
Feeling your phone vibrating in your pocket, you pulled out the device to see it was a text message from Jungwon. Ensuring no one was nearby, you opened your conversation to see two simple messages: 
Hi love, just want to let you know that we’ll be committing a crime tonight at: XXX - XX - XXXX. ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ love you
Catch me if you can, detective ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)✨
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floralscented · 3 days ago
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤBETTER BIRTHDAYS — vampire!dean
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slowly, dean is learning to love his birthdays again, after going for decades without letting himself.
not what i intended to write, and not as good as i wish it was, but to be fair to myself i have sickness. and i'm NOT missing out on my beloved baby's birthday! if logistics don't make sense, i don't care. that's fiction baby! vampire!dean is just rent free so it was inevitable.
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it wasn’t supposed to be possible.
it was one of those things that dean came to terms with when he’d been turned so long ago — a family? was not something that was personally in dean’s cards. he’d have an infinite life, yes, but any family he wanted would have to be made or created, and not in the way that he’d ever get a chance to hold something so small that was part him.
dean forgot often that the impossible seemed to happen a lot around him.
there was a moment when he thought that being with you was a fate destined for doom. but every step of the way, you’d helped convince him that decades of isolation did not equate to deserving said isolation, and slowly, he’d let you make a home in his heart.
you accepted him for what he was. you trusted him with all you had; let him into your heart, your house, and every room that was deigned yours. no secrets, you’d promised.
it was a promise you held true to, because on a day he’d always remember, june 27th, you’d sat him down and told him that you were pregnant. and, on top of that initial shock, you were three months along.
he’d used the word impossible over and over throughout your pregnancy. this was not something for dean to pour his hope into and get attached to. it had to be a mistake; it had to be a misunderstanding — something.
but on dean’s birthday, a day he refused to celebrate anymore because of how many he’d had, a day that you took into your own hands and made him celebrate anyway—
a little boy was born.
a son with his hair, his face, and your eyes. so human and so real that it stole his breath away, unable to breathe at all even if he wanted to try again.
and it only got more chaotic from there. the little boy was an absolute devil; just as dean had been before sam was born, and before his father sank into a depression that drowned both of them. cassius winchester was a little force with sharp teeth and an affinity for crawling after him everywhere that dean went.
everything about cassius was impossible. that was why he’d been given the name, after all; helmeted warrior, it meant, so nothing could take him, so nothing would try to. now that dean had him, it was not going to be so easy to pry him away.
it was cassius’s third birthday, which meant it was dean’s… he’d lost count, really. either way, it was an incredibly special day for you. your two boys, one grown and one anew, and while you didn’t fit the mold when it came to the family dynamic that your boys painted, you certainly made up for it with your enthusiasm.
“blood in the icing?” you’d asked dean the moment he stepped downstairs, cassius balanced on his hip. “would that make it any more edible for you? for cassy?”
dean, taken aback for a moment, raises his eyebrows. “what would you eat, then?”
“i’m sure a little iron in my diet won’t hurt me.”
his scoff is an amused one, his eyebrows furrowing when he feels a sharp nip on his fingertip. in cassius’s mouth is dean’s finger, gnawing on it like it were nothing more than a teething toy.
his lips quirk up. he hasn’t genuinely grinned in so long that it feels almost foreign all of the time to do it now, since he met you, and even more since cassius. “on second thought, it might not be a bad idea.”
you stop the stand mixer to glance up at them, your eyes glimmering with that look that dean always refused to address. so much love for one person always made him feel on edge, like one day it would all fall away, like everyone else he’d loved prior. his fears had never once deterred you. perhaps it was why he, too, loved you so fiercely.
“he finally learned how to use those little teeth?” you ask, circling around the kitchen island to stand in front of dean and cassius, your expression alight. “what a milestone, my love. and on your third ever birthday.”
it certainly was a milestone. cassius had not let up his biting, little pinches that were certainly going to leave his finger raw for a few hours while it tried to heal. already, dean was planning on tossing all of the teething toys in the house away; he did not care for them like he cared for dean’s pointer finger.
you press a kiss to dean’s cheek, cassius’s forehead, before turning back to the slightly/less-dusty kitchen again. it’d been practically gray before you, but you had to eat, didn’t you? the scattered leftovers of human and forest creature in the boxed refrigerator did nothing for you. but you stop quickly, your eyes widened when you spin back around.
“wait!” you say on a gasp, grabbing something from underneath the countertop. two somethings. very shiny somethings. you jog back up to dean, looping the string of one underneath his chin and planting the birthday hat securely on his head, and doing the same for cassius, albeit with a smaller one. “happy birthday, my boys.”
dean tries to not let it affect him so deeply. how long had it been since his birthday felt like something to be celebrated and not a burden? there were so many years of those feelings that he did not understand yet how to react in instances like this, in the sheer warmth that you and cassius’s joy brought to him.
you were well aware of dean’s affinity for privacy. he was reserved, had made a home in the reservation, and would not leave it, not when he was so comfortable. so you did not call upon his sired to come celebrate — especially not them, when he was only beginning to heal the self-deprecation that came from their being there.
you did, though, dust away his hallway of their paintings, and uncover his painting supplies again. it was special to him, after all, and a hobby he’d locked away for too long after realizing the solace he found in keeping memories forever was embedding him into the past.
the paints and the blank canvasses were neatly wrapped in your room, along with a smaller box — dean’s present pile. there were more toys wrapped in a pile next to it, toys that cassius was far too spoiled already to need, but deserved anyways.
dean is not amused by the blindfold you put over his eyes as you led him to your shared room. or really, he was incredibly amused, but not so much to find out that all it served for was a dramatic way to lead him to his gifts while cassius napped downstairs.
“there are much more fun things that we could do with this blindfold,” he grumbles from in front of you, “there are much more fun things that we have done with it.”
“it is okay to be selfish and accept gifts sometimes, dean,” you say back, lightly kicking open the door with your foot to guide him inside.
dean is at his most shy and timid, somehow, on his birthday. as if he could make himself invisible and shrunken enough to be forgotten about, as if this day was not as equally about dean as it was cassius. “you are well aware of how little birthday gifts i’ve gotten over these years, aren’t you?”
“that is why i’ve got you three today.”
he can’t see, but he can hear the rustling of wrapping paper. shifting around, moving him as you so please, until he’s sat on the edge of the bed, and you are sitting at his feet in front of him, can feel the warmth of your humanity seeping into his legs.
something heavy lands in his lap.
“you may take it off,” you hum, and dean is not surprised to see that when he does, you are wearing a smug grin that makes you all the more beautiful. “go on. open it. that’s why gifts exist; to be opened.”
“i have not gotten a birthday gift in a while,” dean says with a huff, lifting his eyes as he tears into the wrapping paper to meet yours, “but that does not mean i need the process explained—”
his words die in his throat.
his paints. the ones that created life out of people he’d long killed. his heart falters. his mind blanks.
“this—” you pat the biggest gift behind you; flat and hollow when your hand touches it, “is some of the canvases i found too. i was just thinking— well, about how you paint everything you love in case it leaves.”
dean can’t even find the words to respond. his eyes stay locked on yours with a vulnerability you rarely see. “but i’m not leaving. and cassius is not leaving. and i think a family portrait for the front entrance would look lovely, don’t you?”
his swallow is thick and unnecessary, but he feels the lump in his throat and simply can’t help it.
instead of addressing your words, or the paints in his lap, or anything, he looks at the third present sat in your lap. his voice is raw when it comes out. “what is that one?”
dean’s paintbrushes, he assumes. fits the theme, would complete the puzzle.
your lips curl in a little grin. “those are cassius’s building blocks and perhaps a toy train. i can’t spoil everything.”
the attempt at lightening the mood works. he sets the paints aside and leans forward, lifting your chin with one finger and reaching into your lap with the other of his hands. “i meant this, little devil.”
there is no explanation or comments from you this time, as he opens it. it was hasty, the way he tore in, feeling light and airy like he did as a child on christmas. it’d been a long time since dean had felt so free.
it was not paintbrushes as he assumed, though. for the second time in one evening, you’d shocked the words out of him.
impossible, his mind begins to repeat again, but it’s quieter. less insistent. the voice of his subconscious had already been proven wrong once before.
a pregnancy test with two lines sits in the little jewelry box you’d tucked it away in.
the lump in his throat is tight, heavier. his mouth opens, closes, opens again, and no words come out. dean is left holding a pregnancy test between his fingers like it might break, left staring at the one person who heard his cries for company and answered with a family.
a family. how long had it been since he let himself dream? of this, of you, of anything?
“i know it is yours and cassius’s day, but i figured…” you don’t even need to finish the sentence for dean to get it. this was something that he’d wanted desperately, a secret he shared only with you. his childhood was bleak and unforgiving. all dean wanted was a chance to start anew and make it better.
here it was, in the form of a stick and a woman and a toddler.
he is more ginger with the pregnancy test than he was with the paints. as much as he appreciated the sentiments being brought back up, painting sam and judas had pulled all of the fun and the peace out of the hobby. he had no intention of digging back into the part of himself that loved the art of creation, in any way.
but now, in his head, there’s the grant entrance of his manor. and above the fireplace is you next to him in acrylic, a little cassius painted onto his hip, and a little baby in your arms. it would be updated every time his children grew. it would be updated every year, maybe even, so he could have multiples of you in the dresses he loved so dearly, and to see the progression of his kids. his family.
the hand on your chin moves to the back of your neck, tugging you up and into his arms. his eyes close, breathing you in slowly. he’s always loved the warmth of your livelihood, and it felt that much more intense, knowing that there was another life now, too.
“you have a talent for making a man forget he doesn’t deserve this,” he whispers into your throat.
you grasp at the sleeves of his coat, the grin on your face evident even as its buried into his chest. he can feel it, the pull of your lips, your smiling mouth in his shirt. “i hope to foster that talent, then. to become an expert in bringing you a lifetime’s worth of better birthdays.”
dean doesn’t know how to tell you that these years with you have done plenty. this was all he needed — you and the family you brought to him — to have better days and better birthdays.
so he stays silent and holds you to him, letting himself slip away into this life that felt more and more like a wish come true with every passing day.
and it is only when the sounds of little footsteps start stomping up the stairs toward your room, toward his presents, that dean’s eyes lift up to meet the sleep mussed little boy babbling to himself — and the big brother t-shirt you’d had him in, only now noticed.
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notes. i literally woke up just to write this quick asf & post it PLS. if it sucks my bad. i'm just a girl. happy bday my pookie beloved baby waby!!!
tags. @titsout4jackles @moonstruksandco @starzify @ultravi0lence14 @itzavahere @sagegreen17 @bruceewayne @jays-bonnie-on-the-side @deansbeer @blushpinkdoll @warpedless @sabrinasopposite @k-slla @deansbite @foolinthera1n @honeyryewhiskey @angelblqde @whyyouegg @bluemerakis @fallbhind @florchids @figthoughts @beausling @chevroletdean @mccartneyqp @bluestrd @sthefferrete @rubyvhs @tortureddarkstar @aileenunfiltered @frosttbitessam @theosaurous
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translilithlesbian · 22 hours ago
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an actual post from them:
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ID:
Anonymous asked: Why don't you like cripplepunk?? /genq
OP: hooooo ok so im going to assume you dont follow us because we have spoken about this at least twenty times by now (mostly me because i used to call myself crippunk and then stopped after seeing that it was an even more toxic environment than the aro community is, which is an incredible feat, but that is a rant for another time)
heres a quick summary
cripplepunk, just like most other subgenres of punk, is a circlejerk-"fuck yall, im better"-brand of punk that 'physically disabled' gatekeepers latch onto, because i guess they have nothing better to be doing other than wasting everyones time. the concept was created with the idea that 'physically disabled people need their own resources' which, while a nice thought on the surface, comes at the expense of literally anyone they dont deem
'disabled enough' and they advocate for the separation of 'physical' and 'mental' disabilities. couple that with the fact that disability is not an easily defined state and it's easy to see why this doesn't work.
this isnt some flaw or mistake. crippunk was coined this way by design, and its creator admitted to that. its an inherently flawed way of thinking and only leads to more infighting. it was never meant to peacefully coexist with mentally or neurologically disabled people, it doesnt take into consideration someone who is disabled by their mental illness, and it inherently believes that if you arent in some physical external form of disability, you are not disabled enough or in this specific way. and despite what crippunks would like for you to believe, they do not advocate for you, do not care, and will only tell you to "make your own spaces" as if you dont belong in the conversation surrounding disability rights.
we do not believe there is any feasible nor functional difference in what disables you aside from what kinds of accommodations and treatment you need. we are all freaks under the eyes of capitalism. the brain is a part of the body, and if your brain is disabled, you are disabled. for that reason, we strongly oppose the concept of cripplepunk. we believe they will not get rights by whining about how theyre More Oppressed than people with mental/neurological disabilities.
if youd like more on why someone might dislike crippunk or not feel included by it, theres a few movements in the wake of it, such as our personal favorite unitypunk. and if you want better explanations from us: heres the unitypunk tag on our blog, scroll through it.
and INB4 they find this post and throw a temper tantrum like they do with everything else: yes, we are crippled. a quick scroll of this blog should tell you as much. Imao. lol, even.
red
——
Yes, I am thoroughly disturbed. Now, like op, I am not sharing their name so they don’t get harassed but if you would like the @ of this account to block, dm me and do not spread it around.
This person is not punk if they are shitting on punk subcultures, which have existed since punk was made, and using aro ppl as a talking point of what not to be. Not to mention the creator (who is dead btw) did not have any guidelines on what counts as disabled as long as you are physically disabled in some way, and actually allows for intersectionality, like most punk subcultures (and even punk as a whole) does.
Ok. So. For the first time I have encountered someone who has put “cripplepunk” (quotes included!!) in their bio. And I’m sitting here like.
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You are mad… that I want rights? Like… cripplepunk is literally just applying the punk mindset / social conventions to disability activism.
You do not like.. disability activism?
You don’t want cripples to talk to you???
HELLO??
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a-babe-without-a-name · 12 hours ago
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Sit Next To Me Before You Go
Chapter 1: To a Good Fucking Semester.
You had created two rules for yourself. Rule One: You could do whatever you wanted. Get the degree you want, party when you want, cancel plans when you want, love who you want. Whatever you really wanted to do, you were going to do, anxiety and guilt free. Rule Two: You could do whatever you wanted, except for have relationships with classmates. No sex, no dating. If they were on the same course roster as you, they were off limits. Easy enough, right? ...Right?
Viktor x Female!Reader - 18+
A.N. Very proud of myself for getting my own thing out of my google docs and onto the internet for once. This is very self indulgent and possibly a little ooc, but it's an AU so who cares?
Also, biggest shout out in the world to @hivemuthur. I am the biggest fan of their writing and I'm obsessed with their fic The Game of Teaching Body. I hadn't even considered writing a college au until I read Teaching Body and now I'm fully in it. I've really regained my love for writing fanfic for myself as opposed to an audience and it's definitely because of them. Anyways, all love to them and if you haven't already, go read everything that they've written asap!
Another Author Note: No smut in this chapter, but chapter 2 is already posted ;)
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Read on AO3
You were going to take this semester seriously. Your 5th of your college career, first of Junior year, this was the time to get serious. If you fuck up now, the chances of having to take an extra semester went up by an uncomfortable percentage. Yeah, you were going to take this semester very very seriously…key word were. Then Jayce and Cait decided to throw a party at their house. A huge ‘welcome back’ thing that was sure to be very fun and very well attended. Jayce was one of your closest friends, it would be offensive honestly if you didn’t show up to his first party of the year. Syllabi reviews and practice tests could wait until Sunday. 
You dug through your small closet in search of something to wear that hadn’t already been worn to a dozen other house parties. At this point half your clothing was pulled off their hangers and tossed on your bed. You pulled a light blue baby tee off a hanger, the low neckline was lined with a hint of lace.
“How’s this?” You held the shirt up to show Lest, already ready and scrolling through her phone
“Very cute,” Her freckled face looking at you upside down, “Not with that skirt, though.” She pointed to the button up denim skirt you had put on earlier.
“With what then?” You pulled on the top. 
“Must I dress you everyday,” Lest whined half heartedly.
“Well, yeah. What other reason would I willingly live with a fashion major?” You joked.
“Because you’re in love with me, obviously,” She scoffed, rolling off her bed and straightening her dress as she stood, “Do you still have those black shorts? The boxy ones with the high waist?”
“Er, yes…” You said hesitantly, opening a dresser drawer and digging through your pants until you found them. Next to you Lest began putting your clothes back on their hangers, “Yes, I do.”
You stripped off your skirt, handing it to Lest when she reached for it to hang up, and pulled on the shorts. You looked at yourself in the mirror, content enough with the outfit. It was a little boring, but at least it was comfortable.
“And lose the bra,” Lest poking the side of your boob, looking at you over your shoulder in the mirror, “Trust me.”
You purse your lips in the mirror, but shrugged and took the  suggestion anyways. Reaching behind your back to unclip your bra and toss it to the side.
“Better?” You asked, posing dramatically for her.
“Perfect,” She gave you a dramatic smile, her nose scrunching, “Now grab your stuff, the Uber will be here in 5.”
“Oh, fuck Lest, I’m not ready.” You whined, scrambling around your room to grab your things.
“Well get ready then, we have a party to get to!” She opened your door and gave a cheeky wave over her shoulder as she disappeared into the hallway. 
The party was in full swing when you and Lest reached Jayce and Cait’s house. The front yard was mostly empty, only a few stragglers wandering in and out, but the bass of the music could be felt from the street and colorful lights flashed in the front window. A sudden spark of excitement twisted in your stomach. It had been months since you last spent actual time with most of your friends. You had seen a handful of them in passing during this first week of classes, but you quickly realized that the free hours you had between classes didn’t line up with anyone else's. You missed your people and couldn't wait for another year with them by your side. 
You grabbed Lest by the hand, walking quicker up to the front door. You shoved open the door as much as you could, a wall of awkward freshmen hovering at the entrance blocking the way. You could feel the beat of a Pitbull song in your throat as you moved through the house. You opened the closet under the stairs, a hasty “Housemates Only” sign taped to the door. You and Lest were included in this of course, as were a handful of other friends close to Jayce and Cait. The bags tossed on the floor told you exactly who was here already. You added yours to the mix and continued to push through sweaty bodies in search of your friends. 
You found them in the kitchen. Mel was sitting on the counter, Jayce leaning against the edge between her legs, his back pressed against her chest. Cait was securely under Vi’s arm, hiding her laugh behind the red cup in her hand. You were surprised to see that even Sky had shown up, awkwardly sipping at a can of seltzer and hovering next to Jayce. 
When Mel spotted you pushing through the other people in the kitchen she gasped! Excitedly pushing Jayce away so she could hop off the counter. She squealed your name, wrapping her arms around your shoulders and squeezing harder than a girl her height should be able to. She pulled away and put her forehead to yours, widening her eyes with a dumb grin.
“Hi, Melly-Bear!” You giggled, glad she always kept up with the same silly greeting, “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too, Darling,” Her pretty accent only slightly slurred on alcohol. You could smell something fruity on her breath.
She pulled away, giving you one more hug before letting you go to greet the others. Jayce hugged you as Mel accosted Lest next. 
“Thought you bailed on us,” Jayce laughed, pulling a can out of the ice filled sink and popping it open before handing it to you. Always a gentleman. 
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” You practically had to shout over the music, “Wardrobe struggles.”
“That’s what you landed on?” Jayce teased, raising an eyebrow.
“Actually it’s what Lest landed on,” You snarked up at him, “Don’t insult the love of my life.”
“I think your outfit is cute!” Sky slurred, looking around Jayce, her cheeks were flushed already. She was definitely drunker than you had thought she was, “and your tits look amazing.”
“Thank you very much Sky,” You said with exaggerated politeness, and then quietly to Jayce, “She’s fucked up.”
“I know, we’re keeping an eye on her,” He nodded, pulling a beer out of the sink behind you.
“Who’s sober tonight?” You asked as Mel rejoined you and wrapped an arm around Jayce’s waist.
“That would be me,” Vi said across from you, raising a half hearted hand.  
““Drew the short straw, huh? Tragic,” Lest said, shaking her head with mock pity.
“She can have fun sober,” Cait insisted, pointedly taking a sip of her own drink.
“Exactly!” You teased, “Well you have your sober fun, the rest of us are gonna do tequila shots.”
“Brilliant idea!” Mel gasped, clasping her hands together.
She got to work, pulling out plastic shot glasses from the cupboard and carefully filling them with the shitty tequila Jayce kept around for when everyone was already drunk. Cait opened the fridge behind her, the bright light from it jarring in the dark kitchen, and pulled out a tupperware of cut up lime. She passed the container and a shaker of salt around, and Mel handed out the little cups, making sure Sky received the one with cold water in it.
“Hey Vi, where’s Jinx and Ekko?” You asked as you took a piece of lime, realizing the youngest members of your little group were missing.
“They’re at that concert,” She told you, taking Cait’s cup so she could hold her shot.
“Oh shit, I didn’t realize it was tonight.” You said, licking the back of your hand and shaking salt onto it.
“Lame, they definitely would have had more fun here,” Mel sighed dramatically, setting down the container of limes and salt after everyone had gotten some. 
“Wait, where’s V?” Jayce asked Cait, she shrugged.
“Who?” Lest asked, taking a small sniff of the tequila and scrunching her nose.
“Viktor, he’s our new roommate,” Jayce said, “I’ve known him forever. He’s the best, y’all will like him.”
He turned looking out into the crowd of people on the other side of the breakfast bar, squinting like that would actually help him find the guy.
“Viktor!” He shouted, when there was no response he tsked, “probably snuck off to his room. Not really a party guy.” Jayce told you with a shrug, “Next time, I guess.”
Your circle of friends gathered a little closer, excited to be all back together again after the boring summer months. Jayce held up his shot, everyone else followed suit.
“To a good fucking semester!” He said triumphantly.
“To a good fucking semester!” Everyone shouted back, lifting their shots just a little higher before licking the salt off their hands and shooting, a round of groans following as they bit into the limes. The fruit did nothing to make the shitty tequila taste any better.  
“Yeah, not feelin’ too bad about being the sober one right now,” Vi grimaced, sipping on an energy drink instead. 
Lest grabbed you by the hand, pulling you to the living room where all of the furniture had been pushed against the walls. With your drink still in hand, you moved with her to the beat of the music. Your focus on each other keeping away any unwanted attention in the crowded space. The other joined you eventually, Sky sliding up to you and Lest. You put your hands on her hips - stiff even when she was drunk - you pulled her closer to you. Lest moved so Sky was between you and her. Sky’s face reddened, the drinks and closeness making her blush creep all the way up to her pretty hairline.
“I’m glad you came out,” You leaned in close so she could hear you, “This is your first party right?”
“Yeah,” She shouted back, beginning to loosen up in your hands, “I’m…I’m so drunk.” She admitted, you could see the apology behind her eyes.
“Don’t worry about it,” You told her, “Everyone gets too fucked up the first time they go out, it’s inevitable.”
“Really?” She asked, hopeful.
“Yeah, of course,” You nodded, leaning in further to talk in her ear, your cheek rubbing against hers, “At my first party, I got so drunk off canned wine that I took my bra off and tossed it in someone's pool.”
“No!” She gasped, pulling back slightly to see if you were lying.
“Yep, everyone has to pay their dues to the party gods,” You shrugged, feeling Lest’s hand brush against yours on Sky’s waist, “So don’t worry about being too drunk. Just relax and let yourself have fun. Vi is the responsible one tonight, she won’t let anything happen to you.”
Sky nodded, relaxing into you and Lest. Time blurred as the three of you danced. Mel and Jayce and Cait and Vi somewhere close by. Each song faded into the next, only your favorites standing out. Sometimes the beat of the song would pull you away from Sky and Lest, the three of you wanting more room to dance and move. Others pulled you flush against Sky’s back, your hips grinding against her to the rhythm of the song. The only moments where you stopped dancing was when your drink needed to be replaced. 
Your body was aching by the time Sky stopped moving, breathing heavily.
“I’m gonna go get water,” She shouted over the music, “It’s so hot in here.”
“Okay, do you want someone to go with you?” You asked, still lightly moving to the beat.
“No, I’m okay,” She laughed, shaking her head, “I think I’m gonna take a break…forever.”
“Okay, find us or text the group chat if you need anything, okay?” She grinned and gave a thumbs up as she snaked through the crowd back towards the kitchen. 
You swished your drink around in its can, debating if you wanted another or not.  A heavy hand landed on your shoulder, interrupting the thought. You gasped, yanking your shoulder away and whipping around angrily to whoever grabbed you. 
“Easy there tiger,” Jayce laughed, side eyeing you , “Have you considered this is why you’re single.”
“Have you considered my boot in your ass?” You snapped, but relaxed your shoulders anyways.
“No, but I have considered kicking your ass at rage cage,” He shrugged.
“In your dreams, Talis” You scoffed, following him to the dining table.
Mel was arranging a large cluster of plastic cups on the table, Cait and Vi already cracking cans and pouring a little bit into each. Some freshmen were hanging around, hesitant to join the game. Mel picked up a half empty cup from the center, extending it out to you.
“Your contribution?” She asked, as you peered into the cup. It was already a cloudy mix of beer and seltzer and backwash. You tipped the remnants of your can into the cup. She went around, having the freshman pour bits of their own drinks into the Bitch Cup. 
“Anyone allergic to cinnamon?” Jayce asked, holding up a handle of Fireball with a smirk.
“Ew, why do you even have that?” You grimaced as he poured a shot into the cup.
“What? You don’t fuck with Fireball and Dr.Pepper?” He asked, tilting another shot into the cup.
“Nobody should,” You fake gagged, “But go ahead and keep pouring it in if you love it so much, you’ll be the one drinking it.”
“Delusional,” Jayce shrugged, setting himself up at the other side of the table, tossing one ping pong ball to you and testing the bounce of the other, “You're delusional.”
Mel began explaining the rules to the couple of freshies that hadn’t played before. They nodded with false confidence.
“Wait, where’s V?” He asked, standing up straight and looking around the crowd for his elusive friend again.
“He was here a minute ago,” Violet told him, looking around as well. At this point you weren't sure that he wasn’t a made up guy.
“He keeps disappearing,” Jayce pouted, and then to you, competitive air completely gone in the moment, “I wanted you to meet him. He’s cool, you’ll get along.”
“Jayce, babe, he’s probably out making new friends on his own,” Mel laughed, “You know, that thing people do at parties.”
“Boo, lame. He needs to be friends with all of my friends, first,” Jaye pouted, and then without warning snatched up one of the perimeter cups, downed the contents, and began trying to bounce the ball into it. 
“Oh, fuck you!” You yelped, grabbing a cup and drinking it so quickly you barely tasted what it was. It was cheap beer. The aftertaste clung to the back of your throat, making you cringe as you tried to get the ball in the cup before the other one caught up.
You blinked down at the complete stack of cups in front of you, horrified at the outcome of this game. Jayce shook with laughter across from you, bracing himself on the dining room table. 
“I was set up!” You insisted, gesturing to the freshman that had set the cup to the right of you every time they got it in on the first try, “I don’t even know these kids and they were against me the whole time! What’d you do, Talis? Pay them?”
“Don’t accuse me of bribery!” He gasped, mock offended as he wiped tears away, “This is what you get for being cocky.”
“Fuck you, man, this is misogyny!” You crossed your arms over your chest, pouting.
“Sure is! Now, drink the Bitch Cup like a lady,” He smirked, extending the nearly overflowing red cup. 
You peered into the cup, nauseous spit flooding the back of your mouth at the cloudy liquid. At the look on your face, Jayce hesitated.
“I mean, I like fireball, I don’t mind helping you out,” He could barely hide his cringe as he offered to help. 
“No way,” You snapped, taking the cup. You'd rather have a hangover from hell than anyone's pity, “I’m not a pussy.”
You took a deep breath and began to drink from the cup. Tilting it back as much as you could without dumping it all over yourself. The girls were chanting your name, urging you on. The taste was awful, the burn of the whiskey was worse. Cinnamon and sour beer overpowered your senses as you drained the cup, breathing in through your nose. Little streams of liquid dripped down the corners of your mouth as you neared the bottom. You finished it off with a shudder. Gasping and fighting back the urge to gag, your stomach turning.
 “I’m gonna get water,” You grimaced, dropping the empty cup into the stack instead of dinging it off Jayce’s head like you wanted to
“Proud of you!” Jayce teased as you walked away, you flipped him off with both hands as you backed into the kitchen.
At this point in the night Jayce’s house was at max capacity, and the kitchen was especially crowded. You pushed through people to get to the counter, searching for a clean cup. Only the plastic bag they had come in was left behind, red cups scattered around the counter with varying amounts of liquid in them.
“Animals,” You muttered, huffing at the lack of options and incredible waste. 
You pushed through the crowd again, trying to get to the far side of the kitchen to get a glass instead. You found Sky sitting on the counter, taking down to someone leaning on the counter next to her, a solo cup in her hand. 
“Sky! My sweet baby angel,” You gasped, sliding between her knees and wrapping your arms around her waist in a tight hug. You could feel the liquor from the bitch cup throwing you off balance. You reached up, cupping her face in your hands, “Promise me you will never ever play a drinking game, you’re too good for that.”
Sky giggled, pressing her face to your palm. She didn’t seem any less drunk than earlier.
“That’s water right?” You nodded to the cup in her hand, leaning away from her and bringing your hands down to her knees.
“Yep,” She nodded, extending the cup towards your face, “Want a sip?”
You let her tip some into your mouth, accepting the drink mostly to confirm that it was actually water. Luckily it was.
“Thanks babe,” You said, pulling away and wiping your mouth on the back of your hand. You suddenly remembered she had been talking to someone before you walked up, “But, I’m gonna get my own.”
You looked over to who she was talking to and found yourself a little surprised. He wasn’t someone you recognized, but he looked too old to be a freshman. What really threw you off was the fact that he was intimidatingly beautiful. Even in the low lighting he had the most gorgeous amber eyes and a bone structure that rivaled any model. You realized not only were you caught off guard, but now you were staring. Sky didn’t notice she continued talking about whatever they had been talking about before you showed up, but he did. A small motion of his brows, perfect eyes narrowing just slightly. 
You threw walls up, trying to cover your embarrassment with attitude. You leaned in just slightly, narrowing your eyes as you looked up at him and reached up towards his shoulder. Judging by the way he shifted back slightly, his eyes glancing to your hand with just a little bit of confusion, you were able to trip him up just the same. 
“S’cuse me, Pretty Boy,” You said, your lips forming a crooked smile, “Just tryna’ get a glass.”
His mouth formed a small ‘o’ shape and he stepped over quickly, leaning against Sky’s legs. You opened the cabinet and pulled out a glass. Not acknowledging him as you went through the motions, but very aware of where he was. You grabbed Sky’s knee before walking away.
“Find me if you wanna dance again, okay?” You told her, she gave a squinty smile and nodded before you walked away. 
You heard Jayce’s voice in your head. Have you considered this is why you’re single?
It was just after midnight and the party still showed no real signs of slowing. You and Jayce had tapped out on drinking but were still having a good time. You both leaned near the back door, watching the others play a round of beer pong. Lest and Mel had teamed up against Cait and Vi and unfortunately, due to Vi’s soberness,were getting crushed. You laughed as another ball splashed into a cup on Lest and Mel’s side. 
“Nooo!” Lest whined dramatically, dragging her hands down her perfect face. She picked up the cup anyways, downing the contents and setting it to the side. 
“I think we’re rooting for the wrong team here,” Jayce laughed in the middle of your conversation, swirling red gatorade around in his cup, 
“Hey, unless I’m playing, I don’t take sides,” You held your hands up in defence. 
You and Jayce both looked up at the ceiling pretending to be really interested in the lights when Lest and Mel turned to glare at you.
You dropped the act when they turned away. Jayce laughed, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Yeah, honestly, I’m really excited to get a jump on capstone.” He told you, “I mean, we don’t have to technically do anything until next year, but It'll be nice to be ahead, we’ll make more progress for sure.”
“We?” You asked, you hadn’t noticed the plural earlier in the conversation.
“Yeah, now that Viktor transferred we’re gonna do our capstone together!” He was excited to bring up his friend again, “We’ll be doing the same amount of work as we would be if we were working separately, but still, both of our ideas are better when we work together.”
“Ya know, that’s nice and all, but I still don’t believe this Viktor guy exists,” You shrugged, “I mean all night it's been ‘where’s Viktor?’ ‘Where's Viktor?’ But doesn’t he live here? Why haven't I seen him?”
“I swear on my mother he’s real,” Jayce said, rubbing a hand down his face, “He’s not really a party guy, but he said he’d stay and party and meet people. Honestly, I think that lasted about an hour and a half before he bailed. He probably drove down to the pier to smoke a cigarette and listen to Alex Turner or something.”
You scoffed, “Sounds like an interesting guy.”
“Hey, don’t judge him before you see him.” He insisted, “He’s quiet, but he’s not shy or weird, ya know? He’s cool, trust me.”
“Damn, you really have a hard on for this guy,” You teased. Jayce always talked about people like this, you were sure he saw his friends the same way as he saw stars in the sky.
“Hey, I won’t deny it. If I was into guys, he’d be the one for me.” Jayce assured, and then backtracked when Mel shot him a look, “IF, I said. But I’m not, I’m not into girls either, not unless their name is Mel Medarda. I’m Mel-Sexual.”
“Okay, reel it in a little bit,” Mel said, rolling her eyes but laughing with him anyways.
You were about to suggest a study hangout on Sunday night, it would be a good chance to both confirm that Viktor was in fact real and get your practice tests done before class. Just as you opened your mouth to speak, the sliding door opened and a couple of boys fell into the house. In their drunken shoving of each other as they came in, one slammed right into Jayce’s back causing his drink to splash almost completely onto you. You curse, wiping red Gatorade off your chin.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” He said hands hovering front of him for a moment before he rounded on the boys, they didn’t even acknowledge what happened, “Okay fuckers, you’re done.” He grabbed both of them by the back of the shirt and began hauling them towards the door, “Go home, no more Rune Street Parties for you two.” 
“Oh shit,” Lest said, inspecting the mess on your shirt, the red dye of the drink splashed dramatically over the blue fabric.
“Damn, I just got this top,” You pouted as Jayce came back.
“Dude, I am so sorry,” He rubbed his forehead, “I should have kicked them out sooner, they’ve been obnoxious all night. Listen, I have clothes in the dryer, you can go throw your top in the wash and steal a t-shirt.”
You thought for a second, wondering if the $15 shirt was worth the trouble of Jayce’s offer. You sighed and nodded.
“Okay, thanks,” You frowned, the drink making you feel sticky.
“Of course, you remember how to use that washer, right?” He asked.
“Yeah, I’ll just do a quick wash and come back when it’s done.” You told him, sliding open the door.
“Yeah, text me if you need anything.” He told you as you stepped into the backyard. 
This past summer you had done summer research until the end of June, during that time you had sublet a room in the house. Grateful to not have been holed up in a hotel room for a month. It was a great house, almost perfect even. Its only real quirk was the fact that the washer and dryer were installed in a small garage at the very back of the yard. There were a few people milling about, smoking and drinking on the deck, but the further you got into the yard, the less kids were around. Everyone in the house smoked in the garage, it was comfier than sitting in the weather sometimes, and kept the neighbors from complaining. 
The garage wasn’t off limits to anybody, but unless Jayce invited people in, it usually went unused during parties. No one thinking to look inside for a place to sit. Tonight, though, you could see the light inside turned on. The warm light shining through the thin curtains Cait had put up. 
You paused outside the door, listening for what might be happening on the other side. When you were sure that you weren’t going to walk in on anyone fucking, you went inside. You couldn’t help the smile that pulled at the corners of your mouth.
Pretty Boy was sitting on one of the couches shoved into the small space. He didn’t react to you opening the door, the wired earbuds he was wearing prevented him from hearing you. You took a moment to look at him in better lighting without being caught. His head was tipped against the back of the couch, eyes closed. His dark lashes bushed against the top of his cheeks that were flushed with just a little bit of pink. The lines of his jaw and throat were perfect, a couple of beauty marks standing out against his pale skin. One hand was tapping out the beat on the arm of the couch, smoke slowly rising half gone joint between his fingers. You wondered if his hands were warm or cold. 
‘Okay creeper’ You thought to yourself shaking the thoughts away from your head, ‘that’s enough.’
You shut the door harder than you normally would, unable to think of another way to get his attention. He furrowed his eyebrows and sat up, finally looking at you by the door. He pulled his earbuds out.
“Hey Pretty Boy,” You smirked, not letting yourself be pinned under his gaze.
“What happened to you?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. You realized that you hadn't heard him speak earlier in the house, the accent he had was interesting. He tilted his head, waiting for a response.
“Oh, uh, Jayce happened,” You scoffed, shaking your head and pulling the bottom of your shirt away to look at the mess, “I’m sure he’d cover my entire life in Red-40 if he could.”
“Hm, unfortunate,” He muttered, “It’s a nice shirt.”
“Well hopefully drowning it in Tide will save it,” You shrugged, opening up the washing machine. 
He watched as you grabbed a Metallica t-shirt out of the half folded basket of laundry on the counter. You were sure Jayce had never listened to a Metallica song in his life. Pretty Boy continued to watch you as you held the shirt in your hands, fidgeting and staring at him awkwardly. When he didn’t take the hint, you turned your back to him fully and peeled the sticky shirt off. You wished you could do something about the Gatorade dried on your skin before putting on the clean shirt, but oh well.
When you turned around he was looking the other direction, but you could see that his face was flushed red all the way to his ears. You snorted, rolling your eyes at him. The fastest cycle on Jayce’s washer was still 25 minutes. Not ideal, but it’d have to do. You tossed the stained shirt into the drum, poured a little too much detergent in, and started it up. 
“Hm, you better work, bitch.” You whispered to the machine, suddenly worried about the fate of your top.
“Are you talking to the washer?” He turned back around to face you.
“I’m encouraging her.” You said seriously, sitting on the other arm of the couch, “There’s, like, 25 minutes on the cycle, cool if I wait here?”
“I’m not going to stop you,” He said, placing the joint between his teeth and relighting it. 
The cherry glowed as he inhaled, smoke pouring out of his perfect nose as he exhaled. He looked back over to you, extending the joint out, both an offer and question. You considered for a second, before taking it. The way he held it to you didn’t allow enough skin contact for you to tell what his hands felt like. They were pretty up close, slender but not dainty. 
“So,” You began, sliding off the arm to sit more comfortably and taking a hit, “Why’re you out here all alone, Pretty Boy?”
“Hm, didn’t like the music,” He said casually, picking at the frayed edge of the couch cushion.
“Nobody actually likes party music,” You laughed, dragging your knees to your chest and resting your chin against them, “It’s just to drown out any thoughts that the alcohol didn’t already get rid of.”
“Very introspective,” He nodded. You weren’t sure that it was.
“Well, what’re you listening to instead, then?” You glanced down at his phone next to him, music still playing faintly through the earbuds.
He picked up the phone and yanked the cord out. 
“-er’s lovers to be had, those walls will make sinners out of such lovely lads,” played out of the small speakers.
“Oh, this is a good one,” You nodded along to the Arctic Monkeys song, smirking when you said, “Definitely better than David Guetta. Playlist or album?”
“Album,” He told you, accepting the joint back after you took another hit.
“So you’re the kinda guy to hide away in the garage with British indie rock and bad weed?”
“First of all, it is not bad weed, it is subpar weed,” He defended, “And second, I’m not hiding. If I were hiding, I wouldn’t have been found.”
“Kinda seems like you’re hiding,” You shrugged, taking back the subpar weed, “I mean, Sky seemed real interested in you and you’re out here instead of with her.”
“Sky went home actually,”
“And you didn’t go with her?!”
“Her roommate took her home, she was smashed.”
“Sky doesn’t have a roommate.” You told him, furrowing your eyebrows.
“What?” He sat upright, horror on his face.
A crooked grin plastered your face, “Kidding, kidding.”
“That was very fucked up,” He huffed, putting a hand to his forehead as he fell back against the couch.
“Sorry, it was too good an opportunity to pass up,” You hid your laugh against your knee, “l am glad Sky got home, though. Her roommate is a little weird, I’ve never seen her at a party before.”
“Her? I thought Sky’s roommate was a man?” Pretty Boy tilted his head and your stomach dropped, you were sure you’d never be able to breathe again before a cheeky smile tugged at his lips.
“Fuck you, Pretty Boy.” You gasped, dropping your forehead to your knees, heart hammering like you’d just run a marathon.
“I’m sorry,” He laughed, and then, “it was too good an opportunity to pass up.”
“I deserved that,” You blinked, lips pursed.
Realizing the joint had gone out, you swiped a lighter off the table. You sat criss cross on the couch facing him.
“Still,” You said around the joint as you lit it, “Fucked up or not, she seemed to like you alot, probably wound’t have minded you around.”
He scoffed, rolling his eyes as you steered back towards that line of thought, “Sky is nice.”
“Ouch,” You cringed, “Sky is nice…but?”
“She is nice, but she’s… too nice,” He said slowly, trying to find the right words, “She’s amazing, but definitely the kind of girl who would want to marry the first guy that fucks her.”
“You’re assuming she’s a virgin?” You raised an eyebrow at him.
“Tell me, is my assumption wrong?” He asked with a tight smile, like he already knew your answer.
“Well, no,” You ducked your head, “But don’t tell anyone I said that.”
“Said what?” He raised an eyebrow, you snorted a laugh at the response, “And hey, I think it is absolutely fine if people want to marry their first. I, however, am not, eh, compatible with those kinds of people.”
“That’s fair,” You scoffed, passing the joint back over to him. 
You didn’t realize the high creeping in during your conversation. It was on you know, though, clouding your brain and making your head feel heavy and your thoughts chase eachother in circles. You shifted again, moving to sit properly on the couch, the heels of your hightops propped on the edge of the messy coffee table. Pretty Boy was back to tapping along to the beat of his music, equally as stoned. You felt the threadbare fabric under your fingertips, hand gliding across the couch cushion next to you as you zoned out. When your movement produced a crackling package sound, you stopped. Head lolling as you frowned and lifted your palm. The spiky edge of a packet was sticking out from between the cushions. You pulled it out.
“Ha!” You snorted a laugh when you realized what it was.
“Hm?” Pretty Boy hummed next to you, looking over.
“Pokemon cards,” You and Jayce had gotten these at a gas station sometime last year, wanting to learn how to play, “I forgot about these.” 
You pulled the cards out of the already torn wrapper, only four remained. You turned over the first card, a Solrock. 
“Smash or pass?” You snorted and held the card out for Pretty Boy to see.
“Pardon?” He raised his eyebrows at you.
“Smash or pass?” You insisted, like you were asking him the time of day.
“I don’t understand.” He told you, shaking his head.
“Would you have consensual sex with - smash- this being, or not - pass-?” You explained.
“It’s…it’s a- what even is it?” He looked at it in almost horror.
“It’s Solrock, duh. It’d be warm,” You offered, “C’mon, it’s not like you have to marry it,”
“Pass,” He said with a heavy sigh.
“See, was that so hard?” You teased, holding up the next card, “Xatu, smash or pass?”
“That’s a bird.” 
“He’s a handsome bird, very stoic and responsible looking.”
“”Wait,” He stopped you, “You didn’t tell me your decision, that is not fair. Smash or pass Solrock?”
“Oh, pass for sure,” You told him, “the spikes are too obvious, who knows where they’ve been.”
“You thought too much about that,” He plucked the Xatu card from your hand, looking at it closer, “ What about this one?”
“Like I said, stoic and handsome, smash.” 
“Hm, interesting.” He handed the card back to you, “Pass.”
“Lopunny, smash or pass?” You said, smirking as you flipped the next card because you knew exactly what he would say.
“Eh, pass…” He said, hesitation clear.
“Nah, don’t lie,” You teased, “I won’t tell anybody. Just admit you want to fuck the sexy rabbit pokemon.”
“Nope, pass,” He tried to hold firm, but your expectant look drew a groan. He dropped his head into his hands, “...smash.”
“I knew it,” You poked his side, grinning, “Me too, smash all the way.”
“If you tell anybody,” He warned, holding a finger up at you.
“I just told you I’d smash Xatu,” You deadpanned, flipping over the last card. “Which is definitely more controversial. Here, last one.”
You held up the Onix card to him, “Smash or Pass?”
“It’s a rock worm,” He scoffed, “Pass, clearly.”
“First of all, he’s a rock snake,” You cleared up, “And second, smash.”
“What!?” His mouth fell open, blinking at you.
“Look at his face! It’s about the emotion,” You defended, “He looks…determined, driven. Attractive qualities.”
“Sometimes I wish I could be in other people's heads,” He scoffed, relighting the joint once more, “Just for a minute.” 
“It’s better you stay in your own pretty head,” You told him, smirking as you lent back against the sofa. You didn’t realize it but over the course of your silly little game you had gotten very close. Your shoulder was practically behind his, you could smell his cologne and feel the heat of his thigh pressed to yours, “You’d never be the same once being in mine.”
“Jasně,” He muttered as you blew smoke out of his nose again, handing the joint over to you. 
You took a hit. Curiosity getting the better of you, you asked, “Where are you from?”
“Česko,” He looked down at you, face closer than you expected, “You people call it Czechia.”
“Oh, where is that?” You had heard of the country, but couldn’t think of where it was exactly.
“In Europe.” He told you, his pupils were blown out.
“I know that,” You scoffed, bumping your shoulder against his and rolling your eyes, “Where in Europe? I’m bad at geography, explain it to me.”
He smirked softly, you could imagine his accent saying ‘Americans’ in your head, “It’s East of Germany, South of Poland, west of Slovakia and North of Austria. It’s in central Europe.”
“Hm, okay, see that was helpful,” You said, gesturing around with your hands, “What brought you to the U.S.?”
“Piltover, specifically the engineering program,” You weren’t surprised, that was why most people attended the University of Piltover, “You ask a lot of questions.”
“You think that’s a lot?” You snorted, “I can ask plenty more.”
“Eh, not necessary,” He protested with a flit of his hand, as you began asking him rapid fire questions.
“What year are you?”
A moment, and then a resigned, “I’m in my 3rd year.”
“How old are you?”
“22.”
“Cats or dogs?” 
“Neither, really, but cats if I have to pick.”
“Tea or Coffee?”
“Whatever is available as long as it’s highly caffeinated.” His lopsided smile grew a little with each question, the game of feigning annoyance over. 
“Ah, a true STEM student,” You raised your eyebrows and laughed, leaning against him for a moment before pulling away, “What’s your favorite color?”
“Today, light blue. Tomorrow, who knows.” 
“Do you want to make out?”
-----
Chapter 2
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idontplaytrack · 3 days ago
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All I want is…
Capri Donahue x fem! reader
Warnings: MDNI, smut. Capri takes reader’s virginity. Coarse language, fluff ending
“All I want is to be your girl”
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“Darby, you’ve got to be kidding me.” You sighed.
“It’s a dare. And no, not kidding.”
“She’s terrifying.”
“No, she’s not.” Darby told you, “People are just scared of her because they put her on a pedestal, make her popular. But she’s not that different.”
“That’s easy for you to say.” You sulked.
“You need a date to the prom, right?” Alex chimed in.
“Yeah, so?” You scoffed, licking your lips.
“It’s at the end of the week. You don’t have a date…and she doesn’t have a date. Tell me that’s not meant to be.”
“I’m not meant to be talking to someone like her.” You glared at your best friends.
Darby raised a brow then squinted at you, “She won’t kill you. Just go for it, she’s queer.”
You exhaled harshly, folding your arms across your chest, “What makes you think that she would even consider going to the prom with me and be seen by everyone with me?”
“Here she comes.” Darby pushed you slightly forward. “Hey.” You glared at her. “Do it. Before you lose your chance.”
“What the hell do you mean, lose my chance?” You were getting annoyed and honestly just flounced up to her and asked Capri straightforwardly. 
Capri’s locker creaked eerily as it shut, she looked at you, gaze not as scary as you thought it would be. She smiled at you, “Sure.” 
“Why?” That came out quicker than you could process it.
“We both need a date to the prom, right?” She asked, seemingly biting back a smirk.
“Right.” You shrugged, swallowing thickly. 
“See you later in Biology.” Capri flashed you another smile before she walked away to her class. It was gym class, you guessed. You didn’t even think that she knew you were in the same Bio class as she was, but apparently you were wrong.
The rest of the day went by as per usual. Until it was time for Biology, Capri who was usually too obsessed with James now had the time to say hi to you and even Darby. They broke up about half a year ago and kids in school were still talking about it, starting new rumours. It was annoying whenever someone asked you what you thought about whatever new theory they concocted up that week.
You shared a bench with Alex in Bio, Darby shared one with James. Capri was on the other side of the room, minding her own business talking to her friends. But, Alex kept staring at you like he was expecting you to spill some tea.
“Will you stop staring at me?” You said in a hushed voice.
“What’d she say?”
“Said yes. Why?” You answered calmly. 
“So why are you saying she’s terrifying?” He said that a little too loudly and some girls seated at a certain bench were now staring at you. You felt their gaze. Well, shit. And now you were feeling uneasy again.
But still, you pushed through and made it through the day. You were now at your locker to put away some books you didn’t need before leaving school and heading home. Capri stopped you at the last second. “Oh!” You inhaled sharply, body tense as you felt her hand on your shoulder. “…yes?”
“Damn, are you alright? I’m not a ghost, y/n.” 
“Yeah.” You cleared your throat, “About what you heard—”
“Wait, is that why you kept avoiding me today? Girl— I couldn’t care less what people say. I know the truth about myself and I know some people are scared of me. If you are, I can’t blame you. But I’m sorry, I really— I really want to get to know you. I want more friends than just the same few people.”
You relaxed, and finally looked at her properly. “I wanted to ask if you wanted me to pick you up for prom or if we should meet somewhere and come to school together.” Capri continued now that she’s got your attention.
“Um…” You avoided her eyes, “I don’t know.” 
“I’ll pick you up then.” She smiled at you— again. Damn it. Capri held out her phone, “Put your number in. I’ll text you, then you let me know your address.” 
“Okay.” You answered simply, taking her phone and inputting your phone number.
“What are you doing after this?” 
“Huh?” You narrowed your eyes at her, handing her the phone back.
“I mean, you going home or going out?” She asked while typing in a name for your contact.
“Going home. I need a nap.” Your reply was curt, “See you around.”
“Oh,” Capri didn’t even know how to react, “See you tomorrow.” You headed for the doors without turning back. Once home, you took a shower after quickly texting Capri your address.
—————
It was Monday, and the prom was Friday. Truthfully you didn’t have much time to prepare. You had no idea what you were going to wear, though you had like— two new dresses you’ve never worn before, so you were likely just going to decide between the two. In fact, you were not even expecting to be going to the prom with a date.
But right now? It was nap time. You couldn’t fall asleep till past 1am last night and you were in desperate need of some rest. You didn’t even check if Capri had responded. In the end, you woke up around midnight, got a snack then just went on your phone to pass time.
Chuckling at Capri’s texts, you plugged your phone in to charge while you got comfy under the covers once again. Maybe Capri wasn’t too bad after all, you just had to get to know her better than everyone else thinks they did. Well, you were hoping. She better not be putting on an act and humiliate you in front of the entire school. You’d definitely seem like a damn fool then.
The next day at school, Capri was the first person you saw. “Hey.” She greeted. You waved lacklusterly, continuing your walk to your locker. Then, you made it to homeroom with Alex. Darby was in the same homeroom as Capri instead, but you’d see her next period in Spanish class. Today however, you had lunch alone since your friends had theirs one period before yours. So you were minding your own business eating while scrolling through your phone when someone sat opposite you. 
“Capri.” You sighed.
“Wow, didn’t know I was that boring.” She chuckled.
“Why aren’t you with your friends?”
“Why can’t I sit with whoever I want?” She asked back.
“Sorry, I was just asking.” You stabbed your fork into the pasta and ate the mouthful, “Never see you sit with anyone else anyway.”
Capri raised a brow, but you didn’t see it, too focused on staring at your food instead to avoid looking at her and seeming too interested in someone you got dared to ask out. “Y’know— my friends dared me to ask you to the prom?”
“So why did you anyway?” She laughed.
“I dunno, maybe I just don’t wanna go to the prom alone anymore this year?”
Capri hummed, the rest of the lunch period then proceeded in silence. But she was in your English class right after so you could not get rid of her if you tried. Well, she sat next to you, and when you tried to move, someone else took the last available desk so you were very much stuck in your current spot— you just treated her like she wasn’t there. It wasn’t that hard, it wasn’t like she was talking to you either.
Capri seemed to have finally gotten the hint and did not try talking to you for the rest of the day. Which was what you wanted anyway. That continued all the way until she picked you up for the prom. 
She looked good. She looked absolutely freaking gorgeous, literally took your breath away you could barely get a word out.
“You look nice.” You eventually managed.
“You look pretty nice yourself.” She laughed lightly and gave you a hug before opening the door to the front passenger seat for you. You got in, buckled your seatbelt and she started driving away. Surprisingly, the conversation flowed pretty easy. “Can I ask you a question?” 
“Of course.” She answered, keeping her eyes on the road.
“Did you have something to drink before you picked me up? Like alcohol?”
“Maybe a little.” She admitted. 
“Oh.” You shrugged, “You didn’t bring any, did you? Otherwise you’re going to get in trouble.”
“Relax, I didn’t.”
Alex and Darby arrived right around the same time you and Capri did. But, they quickly left you alone after a brief greeting. You couldn’t find them after that, so you just stuck with Capri. Her teammates didn’t come up to her either, so far. It’s been about ten minutes and you two were by the snacks, each holding onto a drink— water and fruit punch.
You two shared a glance. And then laughed, “It’s…a little boring isn’t it?”
You nodded, sipping on your punch. “Wanna dance?” Capri asked. You took a deep breath and agreed, even though you had no clue how to dance. You were not about to admit that to school royalty. Somehow, that went by okay, the harder part was ignoring all the attention that was on you because of who your date was. There was a lot of murmuring, a lot of pointing…you didn’t like it one bit. As the time went by, you began to feel more and more comfortable. It didn’t take Capri long to realise. 
————
“Hey.” She had lead you to a corner of the gymnasium, at the back— near the doors. “You good?”
“Right now? Not really.” You spat out, “I don’t like all the attention.” 
“Should we ditch?”
You looked at her, pondering. “I mean, you seem to be having a good time. And I— I was…”
“But…”
You continued, “It’s getting too much. I’m uncomfortable as hell.” 
“Let’s go.” Capri decided, taking your hand in hers.
As she drove away, the school building looks smaller and smaller. And now that it was quiet again, your mind drifts back to earlier on in the evening. When you two were about to dance, Capri did not hesitate for a second to put her arm around you. Feeling her hand sliding across your skin, your heart began to slam against your chest. You liked that physical touch, though you wouldn’t admit it yet. Unbeknownst to you, you were in for quite the surprise of your life that night.
Standing in her kitchen, the brunette offers you a sip of her beer. You declined. She gasped playfully, “You’ve never tried it?”
“Nope.”
“Wanna try?” She asked.
“Just one sip.” You snorted, laughing as you took the metal can from her and took a cautious sip. “Yep, that’s enough for me. Hate it.” 
“Fair.” She shrugged, drinking the beer again. “Do you think I’m scary?”
“Not scarier than the kids at school idolising you.” You answered bluntly. “I actually—”
Yeah, no you couldn’t. You couldn’t possibly have feelings for this girl and expect her to feel the same way about you. Even if you could admit it, you still felt like a sinner.
Capri looked at you, waiting for you to continue. You only said, “Actually, never mind. Forget about that.”
“No, go on.” She nudged.
“Doesn’t matter.” You added on dismissively.
Capri’s gaze softened, feeling the silence grow tense. You felt an ache in your throat and stinging in your eyes, you were once again avoiding her face. You laughed wryly, “If I told you I like you, would you believe it?”
“Yeah, I would. Because you got dared by your friends to ask me out to the prom and you would never do something if you didn’t like it . That, I know about you.” As she sipped on the beer, she led you up the stairs to her room. 
Well, she honestly chugged half the can by the time the bedroom door clicked shut. “Are you…alright?” You gnawed on your lower lip, watching her raise her brows and stare into space for a second.
She laughs airily, “I am. Just tipsy. So…y/n, this your first time in another girl’s bedroom?”
You nearly snorted. “What do you mean?”
“What I mean…is, have you ever been with a girl. Alone. In her room.” She set the can down on her vanity and walked up to you, a finger on your chest lowered you to sit on the edge of her bed.
“No.” You let out a nervous laugh. “What’s happening?”
She nudged you again, now you fell onto your back, she smoothly straddled you, “Do you wanna have sex?”
Your eyes definitely went wide, “Are you okay? Like, seriously.”
“I’m not drunk, I know I’m straddling you right now on my bed. It’s a legitimate question. You like me…and I like you, so…if you want we could definitely do it.”
“Yeah, sure, fuck it.” You gave in. You two were alone, who was going to stop you? As soon as she heard that, she started to kiss you. Soft and slow, you immediately tasted the alcohol but you soon couldn’t care less. Only wanting more from her already. “You’ve never done this before?”
“Nope.” You murmured, kissing her back like it was a reflex.
She grinned, eager. “Just follow my lead, ‘kay?”
You nodded, reconnecting your lips with hers. Capri kept at it for a bit, then you feel her tongue grazing your lips, like it was seeking permission to enter your mouth. You parted your mouth, allowing her to do so. Her tongue explored each little crevice of it happily. A quiet moan slips from your mouth, prompting Capri to trail down south. 
“You doing okay?” She asked while trying to remove your dress. 
“Mhm.” You answered hastily.
“If you wanna stop just tell me, okay?” Capri’s eyes flicked up to look at you. You only managed to nod your head. The following few minutes were spent in relative silence. Once your dress was out of the way, Capri took her sweet time covering every bit of your body with her kisses. And when you’d make just a little bit of noise, Capri went back and worked that area over. 
You knew this wasn’t her first time, everyone knew that. But no one knew she was this good. She has only ever been with James,  but now? It was you. She was with you, sitting on you, kissing you, practically worshiping every inch of your body. The butterflies in your chest were intense.
“Why are you so shy now?” She asked innocently enough, “I wanna hear how good I’m making you feel, baby.” Her finger hooked through the hem of your underwear and slid it off, Capri saw the string of slick getting pulled out along with the fabric. When you felt her lips wrapped around your nipple, you whimpered breathily causing her to suck on the nub harshly and you to make that same noise. 
“Aren’t you a good girl?” A smug grin on her face but you didn’t see it. You could definitely hear it in her voice though. “So wet for me…and so quickly…”
“Fuck, Capri.” You grumbled. Annoyed that she was teasing you this much, but still excited. You didn’t know much of what to expect, but you were absolutely having the time of your life right now. 
“What, baby?” Capri asked sweetly, climbing off of you and sitting next to you instead. As confused as you were, she was still moving so you didn’t complain. “Legs back.” She tapped your thigh, and so you opened up for her obediently. You watched her, she moved slightly to get a better view. Her hand cupped your mound, sliding lower and gathering your arousal. Her middle finger glides into you, she expertly pushes up against a specific spot, causing a whine to erupt from your throat. You tried your damn best to keep quiet, but that repetitive motion made your mouth become a broken dam…noises were already spilling from it and your vision was getting clouded. She wasn’t going fast by any means, but the pleasure was incredible.
“That feel good?” She asked, watching your face. You nodded without wasting a second, “Fuck.”
Capri lets out an exhale in amusement, a second finger teasing your folds and then your entrance. You didn’t object so she went ahead and added finger number two to the mix. “Oh, fuck—” You groaned lowly, feeling the change, but she kept at the same pace. She was still looking at you, you caught that glimpse of concern. “I’m fine. ‘m fine—” You panted. She leaned down, crashing her lips onto yours once again, just like that…you got more riled up. The worry and discomfort faded into the abyss before you could even realise it. Capri finally started to go faster as your body reacted, as she heard the whines, whimpers and moans you were rewarding her with.
 When you felt yourself tightening around her digits, Capri slowed down her pace and eventually came to a halt. You loudly objected that. She smirked— again. You scoffed, “Please.”
Her fingertips barely ghosted your cunt, tickling your cunt. You flinched, she started to rub that bundle of nerves casually. That was not enough. The girl definitely got off on seeing you being all needy. Your mind was blank, with the only thing on it being her. 
“Do you think…you can take more?” She asked in a husky voice which sent a goddamn chill down your spine. You whimpered, swallowing harshly. You looked away, she tilted your chin so that you could face her again. “What?” You asked, puzzled.
“Strap?” She suggested. You immediately agreed, you didn’t care what it was, you needed her, and you needed her— stat. 
She left the bed, now in her closet. You hear her moving things around then her putting on the harness. You could barely see her through the corner of your eye. “Capri.” You whined, “Please.” 
You now know she liked this. So you used it to your advantage. She knelt, positioning herself between your legs. You watched her through blurry vision, paying attention to your face as she dragged the silicone up and down your heat. You were pretty sure you just clenched around nothing. Feeling the tip of it against your entrance, you feel an ache pool in between your thighs. You took a deep breath in anticipation right as the length gets pushed into you. Her weight was soon on you as she held your face to kiss you, turning you on even more, and way too easily. You felt the stretch, no doubt about it. But it wasn’t even uncomfortable, you couldn’t believe it. Next, she had propped herself up by the palms so she could get a momentum going but continue making out with you. Moan after moan was swallowed by her kisses as she locked eyes with you and thrusted her hips against yours. Your head was spinning, and your heart was pounding. 
It even got to the point where you teared up a little. She swiped the tear away, cooing at you, “You’re taking me so well, aren’t you, princess?” You gulped. “Hm?” She continued.
“Yeah, yeah.” You babbled, “Oh. Fuck.” Your hand grabbed one side of the pillow beneath your head, “Fuck, fuck— fuck— fuck!” Your body began to tremble, she went faster. 
“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Capri assured, “You’re alright, y/n.” As sweet as she sounded, her movements were merciless. She kept pounding into you, harder and harder, faster and faster. You were a mess beneath her, babbling and in tears, your mind turned to mush. Your hand clawed at her upper back as you let out a scream, breathing ragged as she was still going. It felt too fucking good to ask to stop. “Oh, my god.” You mumbled, “I’m gonna— I’m gonna come— fuck, Capri.”
“Do it, baby.” She encouraged, “Do it for me.” Capri leaned closer and closer as she talked, swallowing any noise you were making by kissing you for the umpteenth time that evening. 
“Do it.” She ordered. You unraveled, panting as your body remained to be quivering. Capri began to pull out, you feel the emptiness take over but it was soon replaced by her lips, oh so softly cleaning you up. Cautious and gentle, your heart skipped a beat feeling her pepper ticklish kisses all over your inner thighs before one on your clit that made you throb. What a tease.
“No more?” 
You couldn’t even think of what to say, honestly you didn’t want her to stop. Well, and she wasn’t stopping just yet, still savouring every last drop of you. Now this? This was just perfect. It was oddly comforting. “Do that.” You said breathlessly. “Feels good—”
Capri hummed, as though in approval as she carried on eating you out. That was what she was doing now, no longer cleaning you up. It was like she could read your mind, and giving you exactly what you wanted. Her laughs were low, it made you go nuts as she asked, “Am I still terrifying, bunny?” 
You yelped, your response coming out strained as you tried not to sob, “No.” She was being so gentle now, too. But you were just about at your limit having never done this before. Every time you felt her lips, it was like a jolt of electricity coursed through your body. Your back arches off the mattress, but the girl remained unfazed, remained attached to you. With just enough pressure to keep the pleasure at that sweet spot. When that once foreign sensation returned, your chest heaved, tears threatened to fall down your face. And they did, you were in tears as you got pushed over the edge a second time, with Capri coaxing you through every wave of it. 
That’s it, you were addicted. You needed more of her, she just made you feel so damn good, so damn special. “Shh, shh.” Capri laid down next to you, sans the harness, caressing your cheek, “It’s okay. You’re okay, baby. You did so good, you did so good.” 
Your heart did a fucking leap at these assurances and the nickname, but they did their job— it calmed you down. When you felt her wrapping her arms around you, you no longer froze, you no longer felt weird about it. You simply melted into her touch, letting her hold you and whisper sweet words into your ears. 
“I’m just like everyone else now, aren’t I?” You asked no one in particular, “Hopelessly in love with you.”
She hummed, “No, there’s a difference. Most of them have never been here with me. Ever. But you, you have and like I said, I like you. I really do.”
“So I’m special?” You joked sleepily.
Capri gave you a hearty laugh, “Very much so, yeah.” Then a smirk, which now when you saw it, you no longer felt irritated by. In fact, you loved it. “Oh, and— I’m so glad you didn’t go out with James tonight.”
“What? How’d you find that out?”
“Please — I saw him pacing around near your locker trying to drop you a little letter, he never did it.” Capri snorted a little, amused. 
“He then showed up at the coffeeshop where I worked and tried to ask by writing that down on the paper cup he used. I flat out rejected him.” You revealed, instinctively snuggling closer to her. Capri pressed a kiss to the crown of your head, “Lucky me~”
“I’d say I’m the lucky one.” You murmured.
She sighed softly, rubbing your back, “I really like you, y/n.”
You didn’t want to keep hearing that, so you said, “Can I sleep? Spend the night?”
“Of course, baby. It’s late. I’m not letting you go off into the night alone.” She held you tighter. You smiled, going unnoticed by her as your face was smushed against her chest, hidden. 
You stayed silent, and before various irritating thoughts could overtake your mind, you drifted off to sleep in her arms. You fell asleep in the arms of the girl of your dreams…you actually couldn’t believe it. Your mind wouldn’t let you, you still felt like you shouldn’t like her. And it wasn’t because you couldn’t— because she liked you back. But because you were only ever taught that it was wrong to like a girl. A part of you knew it was something out of your control, you couldn’t choose your sexuality. But another part was yelling at you to retreat. You wanted to scream and cry, frustrated at how fast those feelings and thoughts came on.
At that very moment, “Just go to sleep, baby.” She said gently, “Just go to sleep, I’ve got you. Everything’s okay, you’re alright.” 
“Good night, Capri.” 
“G’night.” You heard her chuckle and felt the vibrations of the noise on the top of your head, “Sweet dreams, y/n.”
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🏷️Tag list:
@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128
💭A/N:
Look who’s finally posting a fic of her usual word count🫣
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gayalanwake · 5 months ago
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sorry if I become extra annoying im kinda tweaking over being on my own for the first time sooooo I might let myself become extra indulgent 💔💔💔
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#‘aren’t u already super indulgent’ you’d be surprised#everything will be tagged either fanfic bullshit or gayalanwoke if you wanna block 😭#sorry i kinda maybe sorta will be having a moment. for a while.#idk if I can call myself disabled. but like yall know I have diagnosed cptsd and suspected-autism#sooooooo#taking care of myself is. not easy. At all#I can hardly manage with my parents#and now . idk. basically my routine for the past 20 years is being disrupted and im not handling it well#not only that. just.#again like I said taking care of myself in general is really hard#AND I have . college now.#lord 😭#I’ve always been a straight a student in high school and community college right#four months after my cptsd developed? I dropped out of community college 🫠#bc I literally couldn’t handle it#that was last February#now im at a . four year school#so#im tweaking#like actually this time#and since hyperfixations are All Consuming . they are as helpful as they are debilitating yk#so like yes this show/the fic might contribute to education problems. buttttt it’ll also stop me from crashing out!!!!!#so . yeah. yall might be hearing a bit more from me 😵‍💫#or#I’ll become extremely self conscious and never follow through#sorry#this is so funny I’m freaking out that yall might be angry im posting abt stuff that makes me happy LMFAOAOO#THIS IS LITERALLY ALL IN MY HEAD LMAOOOO#yall: hey gayalanwake! what’s up? cool binder. hey gayalanwake! wanna come over to my house today? :D#me: they alllll hated me 🐺
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iinterstellars · 12 hours ago
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her words make him chuckle and at the same time he wonders... what is the image she has of him? as far as he can tell unlike him she DOES have high expectations of him. it should scare him, but it's surprising that it doesn't; the opposite happens, he can only hope he can be the man she thinks he is. " not judging anything, consider me... just another person right now; i know nothing about medicine and you're doing great, alright? hm, water does sound good right now though... " after it's mentioned he realizes he feels parched, his mouth slightly dry in a way that is not too comfortable. more than water though he definitely needs a drink, his mind momentarily wanders to the special moment they were having before; nice drinks, good conversation, he misses it suddenly. feels slightly annoyed with the world that it was RUINED by a group of misfits but it's all over now and it's not good to dwell on what's already come and gone. thomas can't help the half amused, half proud smirk that suddenly takes over his features at her authoritative tone; he finds that he LIKES this confidence in her, even if he can also see the faint blush of her cheeks. he does as he's told and presses the gauze against his head; noting that she must have been trying her best to be extremely gentle with him since as soon as his hand replaces her it sends a very short pang of pain. " yeah, blood flow slowing down is good... don't worry about stitches; i wouldn't be surprised if the wound is smaller than you think and i can do them on myself if i really need them. " it was a bit awkward to unbutton his shirt with one hand but he manages to do it nonetheless. he does consider standing up and decides against it a little too fast when he realizes defne is still kneeling down in front of him and the mental images it would give him are something he's NOT mentally ready for at this point in time. instead he sits up straight, or as much as he can, and opens up the shirt enough for her to examine the golf ball sized bruise at one side of his rib cage. he has to admit he feels a little bit awkward, which is why he doesn't completely dispose of the shirt and tries to focus on something else. " i guess, but shock is very easy to notice... and i'm not so there's nothing else to worry about, ok? " it's as reassuring as he can be considering he's bruised up and bleeding but he's genuinely trying his best. thomas doesn't know how else to convey that he will be fine, it's not like he's gonna disintegrate into nothing right before her very eyes... but then again, he would probably feel just as panicked if the roles were reversed ( and if only he had it in mind to dig a little deeper he'd realize the meaning behind it all but... he's not the most introspective ). " maybe i did... " he agrees in a sigh, though he doesn't actually mean it in the way she thinks. it's just the realization that... he cares about her too much, and wanting to voice it is uncharted territory.
" i've heard it , i just expected you to be different . are you judging my hands ? my handiwork ? you can be honest . " she likes that he's teasing her back , is pretty sure that means he probably isn't ( she hopes ) delirious . although the smile on his face does look a bit too relaxed and his eyes keep glazing over . OK , MAYBE HE'S A BIT DELIRIOUS . " i should get you water . keep your fluids up . " she's talking to herself aloud , but as a way to keep thomas in check and awake , and to also make sure he agrees with her movements . PLEASE DON'T PASS OUT ON ME , defne silently begs once again . she turns away again , gestures to one of the guards by the door for a glass of water . he looks to thomas , then to defne , but nods . ok . one less thing for her to worry over . as she pressed the gauze to him , she's startled by how conscious he seems . he barely bats an eye . " now you're showing off . " defne breathes out , because of course thomas is this force of fucking nature . this strong , steady man . this man who can look at anything , in the face of nature , guns , fighting , EVERYTHING , and still be reliable . he's too good . people who are too good are dangerous . they're easy to love . they're easy to want to have only the best for . THEY'RE THE WORST PEOPLE TO LOSE . but no , again , she can't think of that . there is no losing thomas here .
her eyes scan over his , checking to see how awake he seems with the gauze to his head . she lifts her hand with the gauze experimentally , and exhales in relief . " the blood's slowing down . . . that's good , right ? " she can never remember which way is better , but head wounds . . . less blood . that has to be good , right ? DEFNE SWALLOWS , bites into her bottom lip as he compliments her . any other time and she'd be carrying this all the way to bed with her , but she can't even properly focus on his words , because she needs to make sure he's alive and ok and STAY THAT WAY . defne reaches behind , half - blind . she rummages through the kit , still pressing onto thomas' head , before finding some bandages . she pauses . " i . . . thomas . . i don't know if i can do stitches . " she can't tell if he needs them , but remembers his words before . FUCK . stitches . on his head . she feels slightly woozy at the mere idea . defne blinks . " keep this held to your head . stand up . shirt off . " she busies herself with that instead , wondering who she is . she doesn't even sound like herself . she almost sounds professional , like this could be her job. SHE'S ONLY AS GOOD AS HER TEACHER . her cheeks still colour , though , trying not to focus on the fact that he'll HAVE his shirt off . stay professional . stay professional .
defne exhales with relief when thomas corrects himself . she doesn't like this story . doesn't like that he was hurt by anyone . she winces at his mention of the other man . she can only see dark , blurry , over-impeding figures crowding thomas . she pushes the vision right out of her mind . " but sometimes you don't feel pain anywhere else because you're in shock , right ? " defne says , slight panic inflecting into her voice . her eyes roam to meet his , just as his hand goes from his hair to hers . she can't quite feel it , as it's just strands of her hair , too light to really relish into . but she knows the motion . she knows he's tucking some of it back . her mouth opens , but no words come out . her eyes stay on his , finding herself exhaling at the same time he's inhaling . they're literally breathing each other's air . she isn't sure if the moment goes for seconds or hours . a small , sad smile nudges it's way onto her lips as he speaks . of course he's glad to see her not hurt , that'd mean more work for him right now . but his next words . . . they make defne blink , wide and big , at him . " god , thomas . . you must have really hit your head quite hard. " she breathes out , almost in awe of it . she wishes she could take this more seriously , not deflect . but she's used to being the one always reaching out with her hand . she's not used to thomas being so earnest and open . she doesn't know what to do with it . it makes her skin feel hot and tight . she's pretty sure she's never felt this way about anyone else in her entire life .
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i-dreamed-i-had-a-son · 5 months ago
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Broke (2016): BBC Sherlock is a phenomenal piece of media and anything that seems like a flaw just hasn't been fully explored yet
Woke (2020): BBC Sherlock is an incredibly flawed series run by an egotistical writer, it never deserved the hype and is actively bad on so many fronts (especially representation)
Bespoke (2024): BBC Sherlock is flawed and bogged down by increasingly poor writing, which many fans refused to see while it was airing, leading to hugely misplaced expectations (particularly for the final series), AND it has the seeds of some compelling characterizations and portrayals, some genuinely solid performances, and touches--albeit imperfectly--on complexities that are still being discussed today (particularly as it relates to the relationship between Sherlock and John). The huge cultural impact of the show has created a massive pendulum effect in its public perception, leading to most people today remembering a caricature of the show (whether positive or negative) rather than appreciating its nuanced merits and failings...that being said Season 4 sucked
#these just sum up my personal takes at the years in question and also what i'm seeing on tumblr/other social media#bbc sherlock#sherlock holmes#and i actually have a lot more thoughts to share on this series#specifically relating to the cultural impact#there is SO much about the show that goes unappreciated in hindsight because of how public perception of it has soured#and i totally fell into this as well--i still regularly rewatch hbomberguy's video absolutely dismantling the series and he isn't wrong!!#but what i'm saying is that i think it's easy for us to look at a piece of media (especially one so massively popular) like sherlock...#with very black-and-white lenses. it wouldn't have become so popular if there wasn't something inherent in it that resonated with people#and that's being buried (and i totally forgot it) because 'sherlock is cringe and problematic. can't believe i liked that'#which again it IS full of issues and those are well-documented as they should be. future portrayals should not repeat those mistakes#BUT being able to impact so many people is a merit in itself. and that's only possible because of other genuinely good things about the show#yes the way they handled the relationship between john and sherlock was riddled with problems YES it was often queerbaiting#AND the way they portrayed that relationship had a deep effect on me. i saw a lot of myself in sherlock and the complex way he loved john#the nuanced feelings he had about john's marriage to mary. the part (in s4!) where john calls him inhuman for not feeling romantic love#there was genuine intention and care put into some parts of this show and it comes through in scenes like those. they impact people.#and because of this realization i'm going to (eventually) do a rewatch of the show. i'm much older and i want to see how i'll view it now#but i want to go into it--and i want everyone who engages with it still--to have an open mind and evaluate it for what it is#not what we expected it to be (secret episode anyone?) or what the cultural drift has turned it into (the tiktok of sherlock's mind palace)#but the messy problematic somewhat-heartfelt massively significant and ultimately meaningful piece of media it actually was#anyway that's my thoughts would love to hear y'all's perspectives#funny how after all this time making a sherlock post still feels like i'm poking a bees' nest lol please be kind!#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#kay has a party in the tags
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witchinatree · 5 months ago
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making a list of my favorite quote/ones that stuck with me from each season 1 episode because i feel like it
(i'm starting this after episode 4 but it will be a WHILE before i post it)
episode 1: "bones are a lie peddled by Big Milk" - alice
i love this one because it's a great introduction to alice i think. also it radiates spiral so i hope we get avatar alice not dead alice (isnt there a podcast called alice isnt dead?)
episode 2: "If I wanted to clear the canvas, I would have used turpentine." - statement
this one was just fucking powerful and caught me so off guard like 😶
episode 3: "What would I do without her?" - statement
the norris statement <3 it feels like martin asking what he would do without jon which makes mag200 a lot sadder and i love them
episode 4: "Perhaps you shall prove a stronger will than I, and will yet find it within yourself to destroy this hungry thing of wood and cat-gut." - statement
augustus sighting #1 and we immediately get jonah magnus expressing that it may be possible for gwen bouchard unknown family member to overcome the eye's hunger spooky violin
episode 5: "Voyeur needs to be seen to be believed." - statement
i feel like this one is pretty reflective of how the seasons gonna go? like if you explain the events of tma (mag200 specifically) no one's gonna believe you, it must be seen to be believed!! and also seen!! like the eye!!!
episode 6: "Not sca- This isn’t some poxy blood test, some little pinprick, this is hundreds, thousands of razor sharp points pushing into your flesh." - needles
i love needles so much and i thought this was really funny because it was like "you dont find me scary!! what the fuck!!!" just kind of toddler michael energy
episode 7: "It’s not like we’re wrestling with tape recorders and manila folders." - celia
STOP IT. celia you can't say that you just cannot!!!!!! you Know™ too much maam i cant with you
episode 8: "Pleasure to meet you both. I’m Gerry!"
RAGHHHHH OH MY GOD GERRY!!!! i love him so much and idk how to handle him being alive in the tmagp universe!! gertrude too but idk we got so much of her in tma and not nearly enough of gerry
episode 9: "And honestly, it’s kind of compelling by this point." - sam
they got him 😔😔 the horrors got sam 😔😔 also i found this to be an interesting contrast to jon's heavy resistance in season 1 like he was being compelled but he wasn't going to let anyone know that vs sam "its kinda compelling to trauma dump on this paperwork :]" how is he somehow even more victim material
episode 10: "Gosh you’re sexy, here’s a twenty for your trouble.” - alice
does this count as a quote if shes also quoting what she thinks sam should say? idk anyway i love her i would say that to her if given the chance and it was very silly. i will not be addressing bonzo i am scared.
episode 11: "...Thank you, Alice" - gwen
dyhard dyhard dyhard dyhard dyhard. okay also, the way she CRUMBLED at the idea of anyone doing anything nice for her please someone give her a hug and let it be ME. this series is tossing me back and forth between sam & alice (what is their ship name) and dyhard but this put me back to dyhard
episode 12: "You know it's rude to have absolutely no game?" - alice
she's so fucking funny i need her to be okay so badly!!!! i don't think even tim made me laugh as much as she makes me chuckle and this one really got me. it's hard to write such a comedic character in a podcast since you only have the voice but they really nailed it i adore her
episode 13: "Is it my fault?" - gwen
each of these episodes just reveal a little bit more about how loving and soft gwen is and idk i love her so unbelievably much so seeing that she felt guilt about the bonzo stuff just made her so much more real :(
episode 14: "Christ, they’re in the walls…" - statement
theyre in the walls!!! theyre in the goddamn walls!!!!! anyway that got me because i realized the hole before the statement said it. made more sad than scared tbh
episode 15: "Babies are cool!" - alice this entire interaction between her and sam & celia was so awkward, she is so obvious and i love her anyway
episode 16: "It’s not like I was holding doors open for Mr Bonzo or anything." - gwen my wife is so so so stupid but i adore her AND this gives room for character development. i wish she did not do that though. i love when characters are flawed and have depth but i struggled to get past THIS flaw of hers
episode 17: "Thanks, I guess. Not exactly the same, though, is it?" - celia shes talking TO JON IN THE COMPUTER. SHE KNOWS. i lost my damn mind i love her i love her. get the gay people out of the puter please queen
episode 18: "Why would I need to talk to you? Your work is satisfactory. Unless you have a work-related issue I could assist you with?" - lena solidified my opinion that lena is the best boss to ever have, i adore her and i would want to work for her if she wasn't the boss of Creepy Establishment #1
episode 19: "You’re going to throw it in the fishtank, aren’t you?" - alice colin's behavior is like really worrying BUT i'm glad he's back. i was not convinced he was still alive
episode 20: "I suppose it’s too late for remorse, isn’t it? And why should I be sorry? This is what I deserve!" - ink5oul/statement they reminded me of jon a lot, like especially his season 3/4 transformation when he doesn't quite know everything but he knows he isn't who he was in season 1 anymore, i hope we see more of their life and they can be helped :(
episode 21: [Tape Recorder Bites Ink5oul] - audio description i know it's not technically a quote but this is just so fucking funny. why does it have teeth. what does this mean for the lore. holy shit.
episode 22: "Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood" - celia. knawing at the walls of my enclosure i am so not okay. i'm not okay. wtf. wtf. wtf. they're real. wtf.
episode 23: "I had a favorite mug. It said “love you, bitch” and had a picture of a drunk dog on it." - alice. okay i just love this entire interaction because gwen got to open up a little bit and my dyhard heart is so full
episode 24: "I am told that children like me, and I’ve always held the opinion that the world would be a better place if everyone just thought more." - basira. once again this whole interaction was so fun but like idk i loved hearing basira somewhat happy and in a safe place :] my wife <3
episode 25: " I am trying to help, to save us from this goddamned fucking nightmare machine!" - colin. MAN I REALLY WAS ROOTING FOR YOU!!! I WAS SO CONFIDENT YOU WEREN'T GONNA DIE!!!! it's over
episode 26: "I was worrying for a moment that you were Magnussing." - alice. MAGNUSSING BEING CANON MADE ME SAY IT EVEN MORE I'VE SAID IT LIKE TWICE ALREADY
episode 27: "You didn’t tell me the room was labelled, “Archivist.”" - celia. oooooh somebody's got TRAUMAAAAA LMAO
episode 28: "So you’re telling me you know nothing about an OIAR external contract being found with the bodies of two tattooed thugs who met rather grisly ends?" - TREVOR HERBERT???? anyway. ink5oul mention!!!!! i hope they stop killing people it's really rude
episode 29: "Alice, er… we’ve got to talk. It’s important." - teddy. i knew it was over for him but i didn't think it was gonna be THIS bad??? bye babe i guess??? 😭
episode 30: how do i even pick. the whole fucking episode. i can't. i am in a state of shock. i need to lay down for 30 years.
#honorable mentions:#“canaries should stay above ground” because holy shit (1)#“i don’t scare so easy these days” because oh my god its our celia (7)#“i like them”/“of course you do” because weeping weeping weeping (8)#“oh no not again! oh the horrors! nooooo” that one was just really funny and not exactly part of the episode (9)#“can he read?” (10) bc it enforces the gwen/jon parallels (“you dont sound?? russian??”)#“the deep will care for his bones” (11) it creeped me out and i loved it#“the cover had this awful comic sans title 'mr. bonzo's on his way'” (12) comic sans font was so funny it almost made it not horrific#“I have a baby. Jack. He’s just over a year old now.” (13) like BARNABAS. i know him.#“The only drama is the dilemma of how I could possibly get by without you all to myself!” (14) alice.... alice....#“Oh no! Who keeps taking Georgie’s face?!” (18) SHE'S BACKKKKKKK#''I swear if I hear one more word about Trevor-bloody-Herbert MP I am going to blow up Parliament.'' (27) because WHAT LMAO??? WHATTT#''when I first awoke I knew nothing nothing but the dream of things that sliced my who from me with claws like scalpels'' (30) i cried#''They’re gone Alice. They’re gone.'' (30) tweaking#''What happens now? You push me? Stab me? Or do I need to jump in myself? Come on what’s stopping you?'' (30)#can i just put the whole episode in honorable mentions too atp.#''We are the hilltop. It is me and I am it and we are. We are…'' (30)#''Yeah sure. Sorry to bother you. Goodbye Alice.'' (30)#okay i'm done#i can't i .. i ..#the magnus protocol#tmagp#magnus protocol#tmagp spoilers#tmagp season 1#the magnus pod
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sayonaradumbass · 13 hours ago
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For a scientist that's said to be a bit of a hard ass when he's displeased, Viktor sounds a little bit hopeful about the future. When was the last time he felt there was a future? Since he was a child? Before he was born? Was he born with this pit of disappointment in his belly?
He's also surprising in other ways: telling Badou to take it easy when he can. No employer had ever told him as much. His brow furrows a little in confusion, but after a moment, he nods, talk of treason or rebellion and futures gone.
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"I'll take care of myself, don't worry. And I don't have any plans-- if something comes up, you'll know. It'll all work out, man."
He doesn't see this being too dangerous.
Progress. something Viktor himself strives for, but for the betterment of the downtrodden, never the rich. Perhaps that was a danger, a threat, he wasn't blind to think no one will get ruined, his focus was simply to strip the higher down a few notches.
"They can try to cross boundaries, but eventually something will give." He shakes his head, sighing once more. "Let us hope this never happens in our lifetime, hmm?" They had many years left, surely, many more for Viktor to spend trying to benefit the workers.
"Anyways, I don't expect immediate results. Be sure to take breaks, eat properly and rest in a bed. Do not overwork yourself." For a genius, he was soft, kind, caring about others and their needs, their basic needs as a living being. "I'd like a small check up in a month at the least. I do not expect entire answers, just something."
Simple ground rules, the mildest of expectations. Offering comfort and flexibility.
"If you have personal matters to attend to, inform me when you can. A detailed list of your hours so I can pay you a proper wage, and, in the back of the file, is the agreement. I'd like you to read through it and give me a signed copy before you start work." The agreement was simple;
Keep things under wraps, don't blab to people about the nature of their work, track food spending whilst working for expenses refunds and ensure a tracking of hours to ensure payment is correct. All standard things that even the employers from the Undercity failed to consider most times.
A bleeding heart for sure.
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awakenthebeing · 1 year ago
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Duskmist Posting(bc there is SO much of them) BUT i might as well leave all this silly mega man related au critters here for storage/safekeeping,,, i'm very happy with how these have all turned out!!! <:3
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leguin · 6 months ago
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i did think about richard siken saying there's no such thing as unrequited love, just unrequited desire for probably longer than i should've, but idk. feelings are complicated. 'unrequited' is complicated. i've never felt so consistently failed by language before...
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the-hilda-librarians-wife · 3 months ago
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But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs The smell of smoke would hang around this long 'Cause I knew everything when I was young Cardigan, Taylor Swift
For @sketchbookweek Day 5 - Teenagers
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thuganomxcs · 6 hours ago
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The school part of their day in detention already has him regretting ever have touched her, because after all..the only reason he’s even IN THIS MESS was because he couldn’t have kept his damn hands to himself. Dammit, though the ‘sexy’ thought of a teacher-student relationship never crossed his mind considering the teachers he’s had in the past..still.. ❝   𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐚 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐭?   ❞  He utters under his breath as he lays his chin against the table. “We just came out of classes and here you are rearin’ t’ go on more of ‘em too..but if we’re gonna do this..then I’ll go along.” Said Yusuke.
The nerd group who were still there overheard everything, though how could they not? One of them actually had something brilliant to add to the conversation. “If you’re planning on using a mnemonic device then I’d suggest using the grand subject as the ‘main dish’ and then bits of pieces of important information about said subject be the ‘ingredients’. Just the facts, then add little details about those facts as the ‘cooking or preparation directions’ and you should be golden.” The boy says.
The idea itself sounds great, as Yusuke had a way of remembering menu items and the details about them rather easily..far TOO EASY, compared to school things. “Thanks a lot..yeah I’m definitely lookin’ out for you guys…got anyone that stuff ya into lockers anythin’? Cause I’m good at beating up bullies.” He sat back up and cracked his knuckles, though the vision of Yusuke doing that alone had them ‘spooked’. Probably PTSD at this point. 
“Oh yeah, I’ve heard a lot of nicknames in Japan but Thug is definitely one that pops up a lot.” Yusuke said as he continued eating whilst listening to her talk about his cooking. Cooking at school to get word-of-mouth fame, talking about using whatever he could do here as a foundation for something much bigger in the future. “If i’m honest, I NEVER saw it as somethin’ of a career path..more of a way t’ take care of myself. Though ya said that there’s a future in this so I’m definitely gonna check it out. Career path was always a mystery for me, I figured I’d probably become a wrestler or somethin’ since fighting’s really all I thought I was good for.” 
It was a SAD TRUTH, but it was his. “But yer sayin’ I can cook good enough t’ make it a career? Hell then I’ll be the best damn cook the world’s ever seen.” There’s a fire lit within his eyes which gave weight to his words, he wasn’t just speaking out of his ass. Then with curiosity his eyes took a look at her iPad where she added sketches of clothing that she made. “Whoa..ya did all these yourself?? I have no idea who those other people are but hell I can see a manikin wearin’ what you made..hell you’d be big enough t’ have your own mall.” 
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His eyes then took a gander at what she’s wearing..it really is fashionable and no one was wearing it..though, other than the boobs he could see why girls would look at her with so much disdain. She’s literally struttin’ around in clothes they’d never have. “I’m impressed ya came here with an end game in mind. My old tutor told me t’ not sweat any of that stuff since highschool is really where ya go t’ FIND YOURSELF. But it looks like you’re already found.”
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❛  i’m  startin’  to  think  we  may  have  reached  a  breakthrough,  ❜   tenting  your  fingers  together,  you  give  a  confirming  nod.  ❛  now,  i’m  gonna  help  ya’out,  but  we  ain’t  on  that  type  of  teacher-student  kick,  so  ya’can  get  rid  of  that  idea  right  now.  the  principal  said  we  gotta  stay  after  school  anyway,  yeah?  so,  we’re  gonna  use  that  time  to  also  draft  an  idea  of  how  ya’can  get  these  curriculums  but  also  in  a  way  that  we  can  incorporate  cookin’  into  it.  it’s  gonna  be  trial  and  error,  but  we’re  gonna  figure  it  out.  ❜   you  even  noticed  his  body  language  and  the  lilt  in  his  voice  when  he  spoke  of  the  hobby,  but  the  comment  about  ‘  a  thug  ’  cooking  people’s  meals�� made  you  raise  a  brow.  ❛  a  thug?  that’s  what  they  think  of  ya  back  in  japan?  ❜  resting  your  chin  on  your  hands,  sapphires  were  still  fixated  on  yusuke,  your  commentary  brewing.  
❛  let  me  ask  ya’this:  do  ya’see  a  future  with  cookin’?  like  workin’  for  a  business,  ownin’  one  or  even  doin’  somethin’  small  with  it?  a  shot  in  the  dark  here,  but  what  if  ya’showcased  the  food  ya’make  here  in  school?  maybe  make  some  money  and  sell  these  bento  things  here  for  like  ––  I  don’t  know  ––  ten  dollars  or  somethin’?  there’s  no  disputin’  ya’food  is  amazin’,  so  why  not  use  it  as  a  gateway?  ❜  your  hand  gestures  towards  the  area,   ❛   by  startin’  here,  it  will  spread  by  word-of-mouth,  this  can  be  the  foundation  ya’need  to  somethin’  bigger.  that’s  also  my  goal.  ❜  reaching  in  your  bag,  you  take  out  the  ipad  you  were  using  in  the  previous  class.  with  a  few  ticks  and  taps,  you  direct  him  to  your  various  clothing  sketches.  ❛  my  dream  is  to  be  a  well  known  fashion  designer  ––––  be  in  the  same  caliber  as  versace,  gucci,  yves  saint  laurent  .  .  .  the  list  goes  on  and  on.  i’ve  been  sewin’  for  a  long  time  now,  but  I  want  to  own  a  business  and  be  able  to  style  and  design  for  people.  I  even  made  my  outfit  and  this  bag.  once  I  get  my  degree,  the  world  is  gonna  be  my  fuckin’  stage.  if  cookin’  is  ya’passion,  got  to  put  in  the  work  to  make  it  big  with  it,  and  that  includes  gettin’  through  all  of  this.  is  that  a  plan?   ❜
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tinyfantasminha · 3 months ago
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👍
#i went to sleep at 3am and its 6am now bc i criedmyself to sleep 👍👍#sorry to ventdump my annoying insecurities again#i cant bring myself to do something i really want anymore#been having these thoughts since last year but this year its a lot more apparent#ideas are not scarce but the motivation/time to execute them are#i wish i could take an indefinite break on taking commissions bc by the time im finished with all of them im too burnt out/1#to draw for my blog and by the time it passes my motivation for these ideas also vanishes/2#I cant actually stop now bc im still an unpaid internee working for experience+portfolio so I need the money#I feel like shit whenever i can't get art done at the appropriate timing (ex: thematic holiday/character bday/event etc)#everything passes too fast and its already too late and the hype dies#its so hard to stay relevant and charismatic enough#Looking back I can't say im 100% satisfied with ANY art i posted this year#“was it worthy? is it still relevant? did I waste my time doing this?”#im too overly emotional over this (unfortunately) popular fictional lion beastman#“I want to yume/draw him more often/talk more about him!”#why? hes already popular enough. He has louder and more popular users who do that for him. nobody would care if it's you.#you'd get a swarm of hate. nobody would send you nice asks about it.#you don't get nearly half of the asks you used to receive back then. people just aren't interested in you anymore.#maybe you should delete your blog and start drawing trendy doodles of whatever is being hyped up at the moment.#.#if I can't execute original ideas what's the point of it?#I hate HATE having to do trendy art of whatever unfunny meme is being hyped up at the moment#but sometimes its necessary for the algorithm to boost you and to get some actual crumbs of engagement and new followers#what else can I do? being interesting on your own or having an interesting oc is no easy feat. I envy those who manage.
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