#so i’ve been involved in other fandoms right as most of us have

[fitpacs]

:)

[meyhew]

“WHAT WE MOURN FOR THE DEAD IS THE LOSS OF THEIR HOPES.”

I never thought I’d make this post. Any time I imagined a One Direction member dying, I pictured myself weathered and grey. This was an eventuality that wasn’t supposed to be actualized until the boys and I had lived full lives. To have to come to terms with Liam’s death—his perpetual absence moving forward—in my mid twenties feels absurd. I wrote a long thing the day after I found out, so I’ve already gotten some thoughts out. I’m going to try and keep this short. I likely won’t succeed.

Liam was kind. If he’s remembered for anything, I hope it’s that. I know he helped out with food banks in London during lockdown because there were photos of him packing boxes, but I didn’t know until now how much money he gave them. £80,000 without any publicity. And it wasn’t a one-time donation. He kept working with various orgs to help food insecure people. In the week leading up to that unfortunate Wednesday, he gave away thousands to fundraisers—primarily set up to help people with severe illnesses. He’d been part of Soccer Aid for years. He was involved with anti-bullying campaigns. He worked with Rays of Sunshine to make hundreds of sick children happy. Over the years, he also donated to nonprofits that help children in Gaza and other places. The T-shirt he designed for Choose Love has garnered nearly £200,000; Choose Love has been working with the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund and Medical Aid for Palestinians to provide desperately needed aid in Gaza. Liam understood the value of his wealth, and what his social responsibility was. He did his part to make this world better.

All that without taking into account everything Liam did for us. The youtube videos he started during quarantine because it was a way to distract people, give them something to look forward to. His comedic timing was something special. The discord server where he talked to fans and highlighted their creative endeavors. His livestreams, the endless culture-defining tweets he made. I still see people laughing about his tweets. We all remember Mrs. Horan, yes? I mean, go all the way back to TwitCams. Just google the phrase and one of the first videos you get will be Liam’s. From day one, he took it upon himself to make sure the fans were happy. That we felt seen, heard. And he kept One Direction alive for us, on occasion at a great personal cost. He performed deep cuts we’d never seen sung live, he was always so enthusiastic about everyone else’s projects, he never shied away from talking about the band—because it made us happy. He knew what the band meant to us, the blend of hope and nostalgia many of us clung to, and he held on with us. For us. The masses ridiculed him for his clinginess, and he didn’t let go—for us. I’m sure he knew there are those of us for whom the name One Direction still means everything. And how right he was. Look at the global charts for the past two weeks. We’ve made history again. Because of Liam. He had been the glue holding a lot of the fandom together, whether people realized it or not. He brought us all together again in the most heartbreaking of ways.

One Direction came into my life at a time when I was becoming lonelier by the day. I had moved to a new country two years prior, and I didn’t yet have many friends because I knew only enough English to get by at school. Outside of school, I had no friends. They were all back home in the place I’d left. All I had was my two siblings—and when you’re 13 years old, your 14 yr old sister is hardly the person you want to spend all your time with. I didn’t have space for me, to do and to be something that was just mine.

Then I found 1d through a girl at school and they became that something for me. I bettered my English by watching them talk. I found this community because of them, and I have learned so much from being a part of it. So many wonderful people have touched my life because of them over the years, some I’ve fallen out of touch with and some I hung out with just this month. They—and, by extension, Liam—have made me wealthy in friendship.

Claudia, Ingrid, Mery; Thank you for putting up with my insanely specific demands and making headers for me. Ingrid, you’ve been so patient about teaching me how to gif. Mery, I still have your rec list for learning Spanish saved in my notes app. The TPWK print you gifted me hangs on my wall. Cloudy, do you remember that lineart you made of me? I still have it. You’ve all been so kind to me.

Rafa; You have no idea how much you’ve helped build my confidence as a writer. Lyab is a thing of the past now, but those hours you spent fleshing out the details of that fic are priceless to me. I’d never written anything so ambitious before. And, frankly, I don’t think I would’ve attempted a novel if I hadn’t written a 100k fic—which I couldn’t have done without your encouragement. I think this is my first time telling you I finished the first draft of my novel in September. Thank you <3

Yas; Beloved you are so dear to me. You have shown me such kindness over the years, at times I wondered what I had done to deserve it. Not many people check in with me the way you do. I value your presence in my life beyond words. You have so much love and affection to give, and I’m glad I get to receive so much of it.

If I wrote a personal note to everyone who’s in my life because of Liam we’d be here for hours and hours. Jess, Bella, Alex, Jack, Hayley, Hope, Soni, Kayla, Sara, Arsh, Tina, Ola, Cristal, Kylee, Hana, Ali, Antonise, Clare, Abby, Nina, fnh, mert, people I don’t follow anymore, everyone who’s come into my life because of liam—I love you. Literally every single person I follow should be named here because I wouldn’t even be on this website if it weren’t for 1d. You’re all so special to me.

I still can’t believe Liam is gone. I was at the grocery store and it hit me that it’s real, and I thought, no, there’s no way. It feels so fucking weird having this invisible hole in my life that’s never going to go away. But I’ll always be grateful for everything Liam brought into my life. I know I’ll grow old with a whole bunch of you in my life—I’ve already spent a decade with some of you in my life—and I wish Liam got to grow old and weathered with us all.

This is such an inadequate goodbye. I think I’ll keep coming up with things I wish I could tell Liam, or things I want to say to you all. There’s so much history here, so much to reminisce about. He took a piece of my adolescence with him. I’ll miss him forever. Too many of my memories are intertwined with him and I’ll miss him forever.

Sleep easy, Liam. I hope, in time, you’re remembered for your limitless capacity for love and your desire to do better, be better. You deserved more. 🤍

—————

tagging 1d people here because i know many blogs aren’t active on a regular basis. apologies if i missed someone (i’m sure i did). hugs for everyone

@1dclowns @hrrytomlinson @sandiazucar @fookinfreezin @hoeranghae @wlwmermald @tomlinsun @epubgf @heyangel @fireproofs @90sgrungelouis @lirry @iconichalo @itsnotreal @aquickstart @roguecurls @harryscuddles @hoteyelinerguy @babyy-honey @goldencereza @kindathoughtprovoking @kindofsharethat @fuchsiasea @queerbloodyangel @tofiveohfive @aboutmetamorphosis @wastelandbabyblue @delicatepointofview @twentybiqueen @girlcrushau @chaoticsue @chimnation @akasakasads @icouldbeluckyagain @alloutshirt @half-lightl @halohamilton @willowfey @meltedwings @softandslow @loustyles @onedirectiom @pop-punklouis @pridesobright @finexbright @femstyles @baawree @iamnathanscott @avocadolouie @userautumn @niallerer @itsnothesameasitwas @usignedupforthis @svpportive @svncourt

[elodieunderglass]

I'm not as familiar with LOTR as you are, so I wondered if you could tell me if my wild theory is completely off-base.

No one knows where the Hobbits came from, except that at some point they diverged from the line of men. No one knows much about the Entwives' appearance, but we do know that they fucked off a long time ago.

Could the Entwives have been dryad-ish and hooked up with the hobbits' ancestors and so be the foremothers of the hobbits?

Ah I think I saw that post! The concept has a lot of charm, and when the Tolkien estate loses its corpse-grip on the property in 2050 or so, I think you should write it and sell it 😤 I’ve definitely read some good takes on entwives in fanfiction that both leaned into canon and moved away, and I think that sounds like good fun to explore. A common theme in the fandom is playing with Yavanna, the Green Lady, being the mother or patron of hobbits. This isn’t canonical, but she’s a “green goddess” archetype and is married to Mahal/Aulë, the father of dwarves, which shippers often leverage to their advantage. You could do something quite charming there with Yavanna if you wanted to. We also know that Entwives loved gardens and orchards rather than forests.

Some things I would explore with this include:

what is going on with all these consistent ideas of people, races, women disappearing. We know that a lot of it is how Tolkien processed an almost OCD-like Catholic framing of “the fallen world is getting worse and can never be repaired”, war experiences, romanticism and other stuff stewing in his old man head. What are some ways you could show what’s stewing in your head? What does “people disappearing” mean to you? and why is it especially healing that they disappeared in order to make new families?

I think “they disappeared from their old kin and made new kin” is an interesting and weird thing worth wondering about!

- this would possibly make hobbits a more recent race than is implied. What does that mean to you?

- why are hobbits teeny tiny?

A very good starting point, that Terry Pratchett used a lot, is taking some grand statement in fantasy fiction, and making it reflect a different political reality. “Most dwarves are girls actually.” “Wizards parody academia, but, like, FOR REAL.”

I personally have a different take because of my own political feelings and framings! I have a lot of complex feelings about Tolkien chickening out of hobbits. For various political reasons I personally have to take the stance that they are fully human, fully indigenous, and have their own native language. and that their disappearance is less “teehee we lost them” or “O, the Catholic guilt of the Fallen World, how far we have fallen from the light of the two trees God’s sinless light” and a lot more “oh yeah I’ve seen THAT pattern before.”

If you have a political sort of lens on, someone telling you “yeah… hobbits came from nowhere 🤭 and then disappeared 🤷‍♀️ sad!” is a story that can also invite the response of “OHhhhh you wanted their LAND real bad, huh.” Like, we know what that means, right.

It’s a political stance for me. Hobbits have to be close enough to us to touch, and we have to be able to face that, and the fact that 5,000 media properties will chew on tolkienelves and sell them to you before even admitting to the 🤭 just makes it even more of a 🤨. To me.

…But I have literally just been elbow deep in my own demented fanfic thing that involves inventing a language just to swear in, to enable my standing on a box shouting HOBBITS OUGHT TO RESIST GOING EXTINCT ACTUALLY, based entirely on, I think, spite. Why do multiple authors publish orc football games (Terry Pratchett) and orc coffeeshops (Legends and Lattes guy) and do every damned thing with every bit of Tolkien’s corpse but refuse to look directly at hobbits. I am feral over this and wrote 59k words so far to damage and harm my friends

In conclusion I see a great story shape there about kindred and I think you should explore it and it should be about evolutionary biology and women and divorce and nobody being wrong.

And if anyone argues you with some podcast boy “well actually”, just bite them and do more character work and sit on their heads

[itsabouttimex2]

For fun how about rating Wukong ship from lmk and give your opinion why?

SWK Ship Ratings

(Scores rank from -10 at the lowest, and 10 at the highest)

Shadowpeach

Name Rating: 5/10. Basic, but rolls off the tongue. Started the trend of Sun Wukong having extremely basic ship names- more on that below.

Canon Rating: 0/10. Whatever they had in the past, Macaque simply treats Wukong far too awfully to really justify the two of them ever getting together. Even the attempts at reconciliation feel more like extremely forced ship baiting, given how it goes from one of the two being marginally kinder to the other than usual, then immediately dropping it for more sniping. (Past!Shadowpeach receives 5/10.)

Fanon Rating: -10/10. I’ve spoken at length about this, but fans love to distort Wukong into a drooling abuser so stupid he can’t breath through his nose, usually while turning Macaque into a Possession Sue who only serves to be the author’s simpering self-insert who is the most perfect little baby of all time who has never ever done anything wrong at all even once. If there is an attempt to be “nuanced” or “unbiased” it manifest as “Sun Wukong “killed” (re: defended himself against) Macaque so he’s worse.” It’s an awful, extremely pervasive dynamic that rots any fandom enjoyment I could have had for this couple.

Personal Enjoyment: 6/10. Getting to write Macaque as the legitimately awful person that he is takes off the edge of seeing constant “uwu sadboi” Macaque content. Still, I rarely touch anyone else’s Shadowpeach content because of this.

Peachlotus

Name Rating: 2/10. As you’ll see, most ship names involving Sun Wukong are, uh… extremely lazy. Just one of the other character’s traits with “peach” slapped before/after it. Fandom really dropped the ball with most of these. This one is especially clunky, at least on my tongue.

(See, Macaque gets stuff like Lunartides, Inkypages, Shadowpeach, etc- all very cool.. We need to diversify the nouns is what I’m saying. Coulda been something like “GingerRoot” cause orange fur + plant boy. “FlowerBuds” for the platonic name for peaches + lotuses. Do you guys see what I’m saying. It can’t just be raw peaches all the way down.)

Canon Rating: 2/10. Ne Zha also doesn’t treat Wukong too kindly, interacting with him mostly through insults and physical attacks. He does seem to have some understanding of the king, though, which gives him a slight boost over Macaque.

Fanon Rating: 1/10. It barely exists, and what little does exist is essentially just “Ne Zha is mad at Wukong over what the fuck ever, so they’re fighting” and little more. There’s a lot of potential for bonding over immortality and awful pasts or being commandeered by domineering authority figures, which I wish was used more often.

Personal Enjoyment: 2/10. I don’t see the dynamic, personally. Again, Ne Zha’s only interactions with him are only ever vitriolic or exasperated in nature, which doesn’t leave stable footing for a relationship to stand. Maybe I’ll make a chatbot for them one day and see if I come around to it.

“Freepeaches”

Name Rating: -5/10. This shit is exactly what I’m talking about with the lazily slapping “peach” onto whatever and going on. “Free” has no meaning between Wukong and Tang- it’s just a holdover from a more popular ship. Tang only mooches food from Pigsy. That’s one of the biggest elements of their dynamic. Sure, Tang likes free stuff (food, rides, physical labor), but when does he ever get that from Wukong? It just makes no sense.

AND IF IT HAD TO HAVE THE FRUIT, TANGYPEACHES WAS RIGHT THERE

Canon Rating: 6/10. Tang literally drew himself and the Monkey King together inside a heart. He adores Wukong, thought maybe not for who he truly is- and the two don’t any interaction in terms of Tang realizing his autistic parasocial special interest idol is a lonely old sage who misses his friends, which cripples what was a pretty cute dynamic. I think Tang coming down from his hero worship and being just a genuine friend to SWK would be cute, definitely.

Fanon Rating: 9/10. Pretty enjoyable! Freepeaches is one of the few dynamics where Sun Wukong isn’t constantly turned into a punching bag/villain to be beaten around for the amusement of the audience, and the two are often portrayed as legitimately healthy together- I especially enjoy how Tang is portrayed as needing to move past his hero worship for the two to have a healthy relationship. It’s cute.

Personal Enjoyment: 6/10. Never addressing the resemblance to Sanzang or having them interact in regards to this while the circlet is back on Wukong’s head feels like a massively missed opportunity, honestly. I think Sun Wukong’s personal feelings have been left to the wayside for far too long in canon, and getting to a point where almost every fucking character represses their feelings is lazy and boring.

Peachbuns

Name Rating: 4/10. Again. Just “peach” slapped onto an adjective or noun. It’s frustratingly boring. This one sounds delicious and both components are related to food at least, which fits Pigsy’s background… but it also sounds like something a horny dude would ask for pics of in your DMs.

Canon Rating: 1/10. Pigsy isn’t willing to take any of Wukong’s shit, so he serves as a pretty great “bullshit barrier” that provides a legitimately strict opposing force to Wukong, but there’s little else to even their relationship out. He’s never kind or supportive or worried- if the two interact, it’s always through the lens of “Pigsy is mad/suspicious”. There’s never any real bonding or growth between them at all.

Fanon Rating: 4/10. This ship barely exists, and when it does it’s Sun Wukong being lectured through life by a big strong man- not a dynamic I’m a fan of. However, it is surprisingly kind to Wukong in terms of empathizing with his struggles. Again, I wish there was less of “Pigsy teaches Wukong basic life skills” because it falls right back into the revolting fanon that is “SWK is a big dumb fuck who can’t read or cook or take care of himself without a husband to wipe his ass.”

Personal Enjoyment: 2/10. I just don’t click with it. Pigsy doesn’t like Wukong, doesn’t trust him, and doesn’t interact with him outside of that.

Moonstone

Name Rating: 10/10. This is what I like! Moonstone is not only a very real (and very beautiful) mineral, but it ties to both of them equally! You don’t see Wukong’s status as a stone-born demon be referenced often, so this is a refreshing change of pace from the constant “peach” names.

Canon Rating: 7/10. Chang’e is a lovely woman who is simultaneously not be willing put up with Sun Wukong’s bullshit while still legitimately respecting and admiring him. It makes for a nice duality in their relationship that most of his dynamics don’t provide.

Fanon Rating: 10/10. The working dynamic is so fucking good to start with that I’ve never once seen fanon drop the ball. Never. This ship is always so fucking sweet and honest with Chang’e calling out Wukong for his bullshit while never pushing it to the “Shit on Sun Wukong Show” levels that the fandom loves so much- she takes no shit, but does no harm. She’s supportive and acknowledges his traumas and fears. Wukong does his best for her. Moonstone shippers get an A+ and extra recess time.

Personal Enjoyment: 7/10. I just… I really like this one, dammit. There’s not a lot to go off of, but seeing fanworks that do not primarily treat SWK like living trash/baby the hell out of him is nice.

Lionpeach

Name Rating: 3/10. Again. Very boring and generic. I’ve seen Fuzzypeach which is a little cuter, at least. Still, it’s all the same “peach”+noun format.

Canon Rating: 3/10. The devotion Azure bears to Sun Wukong seems like it would bear a higher marking, but it’s shallow and flimsy. Azure never understood Wukong, never wanted what was best for him, never cared about his safety or happiness. Azure projects his beliefs and wants onto the people around him, blinding the big fella to shortcomings on their parts, and is delusional enough to never look inwards. Still, I can legitimately see

Fanon Rating: 0/10. It’s just smut. That’s it. When it isn’t it’s just “Ooooh! Azure is jealous of Macaque! Tee-hee, sorry Azure!” and that’s it. I’ve never actually seen any non-sexual, Azure-focused Lionpeach.

Personal Enjoyment: 5/10. It’s a fun enough dynamic to explore, especially with how unhealthy it is. I’ll probably make a bot of this too one day. Maybe a “yandere dads” type. Or a mutual Primal Moon bot.

Celestialchaos

Name Rating: 10/10. Another not peach-based name is a win in my book!

Canon Rating: 6/10. Xiangliu is civil enough to Wukong (about as much as everyone else), but the mention of them having once been friends is what got my attention. Shrouded past + + potential reincarnation shenanigans + decently civil behavior = a very happy writer. It’s so little but it makes my brain itch.

Fanon Rating: 0/10. It doesn’t even exist babes ;( I’m scrounging for water in the lonely plains of a desert y’all. I’m a lonely little cactus and Celestialchaos is my annual three-inch rain.

Personal Enjoyment: 10/10. C’mon now. You all were expecting this. I love this ship. I’ve already made four chatbots. I love Xiangliu as a wild little freak who desperately tries to push Wukong away from other people and sad lonely Wukong finding refuge in a freaky toxic snake. Especially I like the idea of Xiangliu pitting himself against Macaque and going after Sun Wukong just to cause a little trouble, only to actually catch feelings and start pursuing him in earnest. I like “I want you at your worst so I can prove that I still love you even then” Xiangliu and “You love me at all?” Wukong.

I really like this ship.

End Result

(Scores ranging from -40 to +40)

Shadowpeach= 1/40

(Past!Shadowpeach would around 20)

Lotuspeach= 7/40

Freepeaches= 16/40

Peachbuns= 11/40

Moonstone= 34/40

Lionpeach= 11/40

Celestialchaos= 26/40

[edgy-ella]

IDW SONIC READERS, PLEASE READ THIS!!!!

I am begging you. On my hands and knees. Begging. More so than anything else I’ve asked of this fandom.

Please please buy the Fang miniseries when it comes out

Don’t just read it. Buy it. I will admit that I’m very guilty of reading through a lot of IDW Sonic through…less than legal means, and I know I’m not alone in that regard. But I think it’s really important that for this miniseries in particular, you actually go out and buy the damn thing. Show your support with your dollar.

Really think about it for a second—they gave Fang his own miniseries. Fang! An underutilized, underrated fan favorite for sure, but hardly a mainstay of the series. I’m sure that this was at least somewhat prompted by Superstars, where Fang is a major antagonist…but Bean and Bark weren’t in that game, and it already received its own online promo comic prior to the game’s release (notably, with Fang as the star).

Classic Sonic stories have also exclusively been relegated to one-shots in IDW, not a full on miniseries like what Fang is getting. Basically all of the IDW Sonic miniseries we’ve gotten so far have been plot relevant side stories to the main IDW comic that focus on side characters with little to no involvement from Sonic himself. Tangle and Whisper, Bad Guys, Impostor Syndrome…the only odd man out besides this Fang miniseries is Scrapnik Island.

Really think about it for a second. FANG is getting his own focus comic BEFORE KNUCKLES.

And that’s why it’s so important that we buy it.

I think Sega is using this comic to test the waters to see if people like Fang and want to see him in more future projects—be it comics, games, or even cartoons. But there’s more to it than just that.

See, Superstars hasn’t been doing that great. I know I said in an earlier post that people seemed to like it, but I retract that statement. It was damned by faint praise at launch, and now most of the discussion I’ve seen surrounding the game revolves around its flaws (chief among them being the middling OST and that the Steam version stealth installs an Epic Games service along with the game). No sales numbers have been projected as of writing, but it’s definitely been beaten out by Mario Wonder and Spider-Man 2.

So, Classic Sonic games aren’t doing too hot right now (I’m sure that many modern fans are jumping for joy at the prospect). But the classic characters are.

People really like the extended classic Sonic cast, just as much as they love the extended modern cast. From my experience, the two fan favorites are Mighty and Fang. Fang stands out to me in particular for a couple reasons: people were really upset that Sega specifically said no to Fang, Bark and Bean coming back after Ian snuck in a reference to them in IDW Sonic #3 (using their old team name from Archie, the Hooligans), and the fanmade 16-bit remake of Triple Trouble, Fang’s debut game, received private praise from many members of Sega and Sonic Team. People like Fang and the media he’s in, and Sega is starting to take notice. That’s why we’re getting this miniseries.

That’s why it’s so important that the miniseries sells well. If the big boys at Sega and Sonic Team see Superstars’ iffy reception but see Fang’s comic sell above expectations, then Sega will want to continue to use Fang (and potentially other “classic” Sonic characters as well) in more narrative driven projects. That means modern Sonic.

“But Sega won’t let any classic Sonic character into a modern Sonic project!” I hear you thinking. And to that I say, so? Sega changes its mind all the time. Remember that whole two worlds nonsense? That was thrown out with in Tailstube. Characters debuting in Boom and the comics were previously barred from the mainline games, but they’ve broken that “rule” in both Speed Battle and Frontiers. Hell, they’ve even been talked out of some of their sillier comic mandates, like characters not being able to wear different clothing.

For all their flaws, Sega does listen, and money speaks louder than anything. If this miniseries fails, Sega will just assume that people aren’t hot on Fang or the extended classic cast anymore and throw them back in the bar. But if the comic sells well, then Sega might take it as a sign that, hey, people like this character (and his two lackeys), we should put him in projects that fans are more interested in. Mighty and Ray probably wouldn’t be too far behind, especially given Mania’s success. Whether that means comics or games, modern or classic, who knows. What’s important is that it sends the right message to Sega, and they will listen to their consumers. That means us. If we don’t support this miniseries now, we might have to wait another thirty years for another chance.

[darkcircles4lyfe]

Behind the locked door

In honor of Izuku’s mask disintegrating into rubble, I think it’s finally time for me to really dig deep into his character. I’ve been keeping this one in my back pocket for a while. Amid all the talk about Izuku’s fading narration, the “control your heart” subplot, I’ve been trying to find the words to articulate how I know exactly where this is going, at least on a certain level. Most recently, I read this meta from pika who brings up how the word “control” alone can be misconstrued (by us). And then I thought about how a while back I made a similar point, although I said Izuku was the one who got it wrong. At that time, I was holding back a huge piece of evidence because it was external to the story and I wasn’t sure it would be received well. As a result, my argument fell a little flat. Well, now—after 411, right before leaks for 412—it might be my last chance to play this card.

So about that external evidence. I struggle to bring it up because it’s gonna sound an awful lot like I’m projecting onto Izuku if I don’t do it justice. But… I look at the way his storyline has been going lately and I see a pattern emerging that I’m very familiar with. Fortunately, I don’t have to dump a bunch of personal junk on you in order to illustrate this pattern, because a certain personality typing system already has it all figured out: the Enneagram.

Now, hang on. I’m not one to put people in boxes. My trans ass? I managed to get a different result every time I retook the P0ttermore quiz. MBTI, zodiacs—not my thing. But the Enneagram comes the closest I’ve ever seen to covering all the bases and revealing actually meaningful insight, at least for myself. On top of that, I find it extremely useful for fleshing out fictional characters, hence this post will be taking advantage of that.

For those who aren’t familiar with it, here’s a quick overview: The Enneagram consists of 9 individual personality types, each arranged carefully in a sequential, circular manner. They are also simply named 1 through 9. While this might seem kinda basic, there is actually a surprising amount of nuance and fluidity involved. Typing is done largely through personal introspection (you don’t really have to take a test). Adjacent numbers share some core themes with each other, and according to a web of arrows between them, one type can take on either positive or negative traits associated with other types depending on how emotionally ‘healthy’ they are, causing a lengthy spectrum of different ways each type can manifest. That part gets kinda complicated to explain here, so for more info, the Enneagram Institute website is a decent place to start. I also highly recommend the Enneagram album by Sleeping At Last (and if you really want to dedicate some time, the accompanying podcast) to really get inside the heads of the types on a deeper level.

My interest in applying the Enneagram to Izuku comes from observing how differently one can interpret his character based on whether you read him as a 2 or a 9. And even though no one uses this language to talk about him, the distinction accounts for a bunch of different rifts in the fandom: whether you appreciate bkdk’s relationship, whether you can acknowledge Izuku’s flaws and weaknesses, the severity of his vigilante/rogue phase, and most importantly the gravity of his concealed heart, his rage, and what it all means—what he needs in order to grow and triumph.

Discussion of Enneagram types in the fandom is pretty scarce, but where it exists, I have only seen him labeled as a 2. Type 9 and type 2 can be similar at a glance in a lot of ways (actually, 9s can be mistaken for any type because they are like all of them combined). It’s easy to see Izuku as a 2 because he is the helping hero archetype. He puts others’ needs above his own and he is always ready and eager to help. If you listen to Sleeping At Last’s song for 2, you’ll notice that it’s all about care and noble sacrifice with the underlying theme of neglecting or even harming oneself: “I just want to build you up, until your good as new, and maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too.” Sounds pretty obvious, right? Well, here’s the thing. You really get to know what your type is by how it hits you where it hurts, so I like to focus on each type’s basic fear and basic desire, first and foremost, as a tell. A 2′s basic fear is of being worthless and unloved. Consequently, their most basic desire is to be loved. And 2s have been taught through their negative experiences that love is conditional, something they have to earn from others. They need to be needed. So let’s say you think Izuku is a 2. This means you consider his heroic, self-sacrificing tendencies to be a result of his growing up quirkless and being told he is worthless and powerless because of it. Through this lens, he is trying to prove himself to the world by being useful. Along these lines, you may also assume he is trying to prove himself to Katsuki. Taking this train of thought even further, you may interpret Izuku’s relationship with Katsuki as an obsession of his, where he is either blind to Katsuki’s more negative traits in favor of gaining his love and praise, or else bitterly determined to prove him wrong. This is how a 2 might behave in an unhealthy relationship with an 8, which, yes, I do think Katsuki is an 8. That’s a tangent for another time, though.

But does Izuku ever “need to be needed?” It’s worth noting that while 2s’ search for validation might seem insincere, it is actually motivated by a deep, heartbreaking insecurity. They think they don’t even deserve love unless they are useful to someone, so they do everything they can to be worthy. Does Izuku show signs of this motivation?

If I stop to think about it, I can’t exactly see this in Izuku’s character. Yeah, his dream is to be a hero, and in his childhood, he was denied that dream. However I think we need to take a step back from that for a second if we want to dig deep. I mean, a lot of the other characters also behave heroically, act selflessly, and strive to help. Does that mean all of them are 2s as well? Of course not. So let’s instead turn to observe how Izuku acts with his loved ones, friends, and peers in other/adjacent contexts:

Inko: He is committed to protecting his mother from fearing for his safety. He wants to be good enough to not cause her to worry, rather than good enough to make her proud or make her love him. Idk about his father but at this point I think it’s safe to assume he is deeply unimportant.

All Might: I would describe their relationship as one of mutual responsibility. Izuku feels a responsibility to uphold All Might’s legacy, All Might feels a responsibility to teach him well. Because of this mutuality, I don’t think it quite makes sense to say Izuku deliberately seeks approval for its own sake. You know what I mean? They may be a mentor and a pupil but in practice they are almost more like co-conspirators. They don’t really have a power dynamic going on.

Shouto, Tenya, other friends: Izuku seems to take an interest in what makes his friends tick, and he sets himself aside in order to both analytically and intuitively determine what’s wrong and how to solve it. Examples include his fight against Shouto in the sports festival, and his stubborn concern for Tenya’s reaction to his brother’s forced retirement. He will put himself in the line of fire specifically when confronted with another person’s inner demons. This is not a labor that is asked of professional heroes, it’s just who Izuku is. You can also extend this observation to how he sees through Tomura to Tenko, but I’ll get to that later. Basically, while 2s seek to help in all kinds of ways, a 9’s strategy is always centered on the realm of the mind.

Kota: Adjacent to the paragraph above, before Izuku literally gets into a position where he needs to save Kota, he becomes interested in the boy’s point of view out of genuine curiosity. He doesn’t go “oh no, this kid doesn’t like heroes, I better get him to like heroes.” Instead he seeks out information as to why he thinks that way, and patiently listens. He’s sorry about what happened to Kota, and he understands. Twice (ch 71 and 72), he recognizes the fact that everyone has their own point of view on quirks, and he can’t really do anything about that.

Mirio: This might be one of the most telling examples. Mirio is the platonic ideal of an All Might successor. He’s “perfect.” He even looks the part. While this initially makes Izuku uncomfortable, he doesn’t become insecure and defensive over it. On the contrary, he easily comes to the conclusion that actually, Mirio should have One for All. Just like that (ch 172). If Mirio hadn’t dismissed the “hypothetical,” he probably would have gone through with giving it to him. That’s not how a 2 would respond. A 2 would double down and aim to be better than Mirio by trying to establish some relationship of need, fueled by the insecurity. Their shared subplot with Eri would have looked pretty different, I think.

Katsuki: I’ve mentioned before that I believe their rivalry only exists because Katsuki put it there. First of all, we can see that after the sludge villain incident, Izuku weirdly takes Katsuki’s dismissal of Izuku’s help as practical advice. Like, “oh yeah, I guess what I did was pretty stupid and dangerous, and I’m not cut out for this hero stuff. Now I can move on and find a realistic career.” Hello?? He accepted that so easily. So Izuku clearly isn’t motivated by a desire to prove himself to Katsuki. Even when he proclaims he’s going to surpass him, it’s like he’s happily mimicking Katsuki, not reacting based on insecurity or pride. Izuku is content to meet Katsuki wherever he is, and he’s satisfied with whatever kind of relationship they are able to have, including a rivalry, so he isn’t vying for his affection either. We can observe this when he gives up the role of reaching out a hand to save Katsuki to Kirishima, and also when he thinks about how “blessed” he is to even have a normal conversation with Katsuki. He doesn’t push things. It’s also stated in Deku vs. Kacchan 2 that Izuku doesn’t excuse or overlook Katsuki’s “bad side” but still admires him for his other traits. This is not at all characteristic of a toxic 2x8 relationship.

When 2s are at their very worst or pushed into unhealthy situations, they tend to become more needy and self-centered, even downright manipulative. But at Izuku’s worst, when he went rogue, he pushed everyone away to avoid being a burden. When the refugees at UA tried to prevent him from returning, he was like, “you’re right” and would have turned back immediately if not for his friends, loved ones, and other people who care about him telling him it was all okay. Meanwhile, Katsuki, in true 8 fashion, was pissed off at being rejected and having to deal with Izuku’s stubborn and evasive side (oh yeah, have I mentioned 9s are actually stubborn as hell?), but he made sure to establish that they are (he is) here to step in when Izuku can’t handle things by himself. Katsuki even opened up and admitted to his own weaknesses to show why mutual support is so important. Tbh, a lot of the above can be construed as just super healthy type 2 behavior, but not this. The way Izuku acts at his lowest, and his dynamic with Katsuki? Totally different. Dead giveaway for a 9.

Let’s get into the type 9 itself in more detail to show how it applies to Izuku more deeply—seriously, it’s beat for beat. One of the key differences is, while 2s seek validation, 9s are actually resigned to the belief that they aren’t important. Similar to 2s, a 9′s basic fear is of separation, but their basic desire is actually just peace or harmony rather than love. Notice how these motivations are just like a 2’s, except they have the “self” part taken out. With that in mind, they “achieve” their basic desire through selflessness in and of itself, without the need for recognition. That’s not to say that 9s are better than 2s. In fact, a 9 can be worse, in a way. If unhealthy, they will seek peace at almost any cost to themselves. In other words, they can be more self-destructive while still under the impression that they are doing just fine. “Peace” may refer to the expression of empathy, fulfilling the needs of others, sheltering someone, or mediating a fight—but also to repressing their own opinions and needs, not “rocking the boat,” ignoring negative emotions, or becoming a vessel for someone else to vent to.

What about inner peace? 9s value serenity, and thus they have a complicated relationship with the most tumultuous of emotions: anger. On the surface, 9s look like the type that is extremely slow to anger and highly tolerant. However, as much as they would like to believe this about themselves too, deep down, 9s are afraid of what might happen if they lose control. My phrase for it is this: I feel like a bottled tornado. Personally, I also think of anger as a basic desire to make others feel your pain—not necessarily sadistically, but in an effort to be known, to be understood. The difficult thing to grasp, especially for a 9, is that this is NOT inherently a bad thing. It isn’t wrong to seek sympathy. On the contrary, it is harmful to tell yourself that getting angry is wrong, because it’s like telling yourself that your pain is wrong, your pain doesn’t matter.

The problem is it doesn’t stop there. A 9, in shutting down their anger, ends up with such a low opinion of their own heart, their other emotions dull along with it. They cry less, laugh less, love less. It’s often said that they “fall asleep” to themselves. It all starts with anger. It’s interesting to note how different this whole mindset is from toxic masculinity—where men only feel allowed/able to express emotions through anger. This is sorta like the opposite. Anger becomes the dam rather than the river. For Izuku, I want us to consider that his suppression of anger carries with it the implication that he is hiding other things, too. It’s a given. There’s a whole sea of feelings out there, and we can only see the waves hitting the shore. This brings me to the whole “control your heart” thing. I do think it is worth mentioning that Banjou didn’t just tell Izuku to exercise control. He also told him that his anger could be useful if it is harnessed. With this added context, “control” here means “to master.” And Izuku seemed to grasp this concept… sorta. I think that if Izuku is like a 9, we can assume he has trouble understanding how anger could be a worthy source of strength. His emotions in relation to Katsuki feel more like a weakness to him, a character flaw in a hero, who is supposed to be detached and selfless. But he’s trying to understand, even though he’s afraid of it. He essentially applied the same strategy he used for mastering OFA itself: incremental strength training. Which, okay. Take a moment to absorb how odd that is, in relation to emotions, specifically. Does one learn to cry incrementally? Does one learn to use anger by bottling a fucking tornado?? Like, what, you think you’re gonna be able to let out juuust the right amount of air to avoid an explosion??? No, man… if you want to be the master of your emotions you have to be willing to sit with them. Confront them. Listen to them. Take them in completely and accept them as a part of yourself.

For someone like Izuku, though, it is very difficult to imagine how this is even possible. Tomura, as with every villain, can be used to reflect his hero counterpart’s greatest fear about himself. Tomura literally touches everyone and everything with his rage, and as a physical manifestation of that desire to pass his own pain onto others, destruction radiates from his fingertips. Thus, losing control in this manner must be Izuku’s worst nightmare, as if he would be completely unable to stop the collateral damage like an infinite line of dominoes. But his anger is not something he can overcome, as such.

An overarching theme in this heroes vs. villains conflict is that the villains are not merely obstacles to be overcome. Just think back to Himiko’s bitter rejection of the heroic sense of superiority. She demanded not to be pitied, condescended to, or lied to. Likewise, the answer cannot be that Izuku needs to restrain himself where Tomura doesn’t. What purpose would it serve to show that Izuku is better than him? Certainly not saving Tomura. If this was a battle against AFO, it might have been a different story. In that case, Izuku would have to overcome his emotional manipulation tactics. Tomura, on the other hand, is not so strategic. With his strangely childlike tendencies, he must relish making Izuku mad because it brings them closer to the same wavelength. It’s his own twisted way or seeking sympathy, or at least, the closest thing to sympathy he can get anymore, because he believes he is beyond saving. With that in mind, Izuku isn’t going to get anywhere unless he rises to meet him. Izuku has to match Tomura’s hatred with equally strong emotions of his own, whatever they may be, or else face the loss of OFA (as established in 305). This is not an easy thing to ask of a 9, once they have started to pull the blood from their extremities, become cold and numb. Bringing back circulation is painful and makes the skin crawl.

In case you’re worried about the focus on anger here, I want to reiterate that concealed anger in a 9 is just one sign of so much more. Back when everyone started fretting about Izuku’s habit of self-sacrifice, which would have been the only thing we need to worry about if he were a 2, I was freaking out because Izuku was also starting to look like a person who has too many secrets. You don’t even have to acknowledge the possibility that he lied about what triggered blackwhip. It’s written all over his face all the time these days. It’s especially noticeable when you contrast him with Katsuki after all his own growth. Katsuki confides in people. He acknowledges his weaknesses. He enjoys being himself. He asserts his place. He thinks about Izuku all the damn time and now he even lets himself be soft about it. All this warmth while Izuku is distant, muted, and blank. I know all too well what this state of mind is like. Man, I hate secrets. You get to the point where you don’t know how to talk about even the simplest most inconsequential shit. And the bigger things? They’re like a growing snowball of words in your throat that cannot possibly fit out of your mouth. The “easiest” way to cope is to simply fade into the rhythm of life. Go with the flow.

Since 9s have a natural curiosity about the interiority of other people, they may choose to focus on that in order to divert their own attention away from themselves. Taken to the extreme, they will lose track of their sense of self. Like I said, you can see Izuku doing this as he fights, analyzing the psyche of his opponent, and his match against Shouto in the sports festival was a fantastic early example. They became friends because of how observant Izuku is. His emotional intelligence and intuition are very strong, but gradually, as he has taken on greater responsibilities and experienced more trauma, he has gotten worse at applying these skills to himself. You know, we go on and on about how his narration has been reduced to nearly nothing, and it’s not just an absence of introspection, it’s an absence of self. It creates a lack of ownership over the narrative—what should be his narrative.

Right now, he’s focusing on trying to see Tomura as a person, figuring him out. I think it would be really satisfyingly ironic if in the process, he ends up uncovering insights about himself instead. It’s about time we learn what Izuku’s secrets are. I don’t actually think that Izuku mastering anger will constitute the emotion that is strong enough to keep Tomura from taking OFA. Moreover, he can’t expect to reach Tomura’s core, Tenko, unless he exposes his own. Rather, anger is the conduit for Izuku to unlock something else. Think of the way he described how Katsuki is his image of victory. The feeling manifests when he asserts a stronger sense of self (the urge to win) and he becomes more free with his words. I have no doubt that Tomura has the power to make unfiltered honesty spill out of him. He knows how to bring out his selfish needs, his pain, his pressure points, his fears, his insecurities. Hell, maybe Mt. Fuji erupting is a metaphor. I want to see Izuku explode while Tomura watches with mad glee. But then I want Izuku to Realize Things such that it finally sets him free. Then, instead of Tomura witnessing yet another person he touches fall apart, he gets to see someone become whole.

"I let the scale tip, feel all of it. It's uncomfortable but right. And we were born to try to see each other through. To know and love ourselves and others well is the most difficult and meaningful work we'll ever do." --Sleeping At Last, 'Nine'

[radioapplerevue]

I really don’t mind if people hate Alastor ships. I don’t. It’s totally fine, we all have different tastes and preferences — fandom would be less fun if we didn’t. But I’m starting to see a trend of people being… kind of shitty about the identities of those shippers in a way that can be really invalidating.

Look, we aro/ace people are not a monolith. Our experiences differ, and so do our opinions. There are aro/ace people who — like me — really enjoy shipping Alastor and seeing how people explore his sexuality in fanworks. Then there are people who are uncomfortable with that and would prefer Alastor not be involved in ships at all, and that’s cool too. I understand that. There are few characters out there that are allowed to be disinterested and detached from sex and romance. I don’t blame anyone for preferring that —- and honestly, that’s what’s going to happen in the show! Alastor isn’t going to end up in a relationship with anybody. What we ship in fandom isn’t going to change that at all — and most of us prefer it that way!

What bothers me is when people start to claim either that the aro/ace people who ship Alastor are not truly aro/ace — or worse, betraying their own identities. I’m too old and have been told too many times in my life that I’m not being queer the right way to be willing to listen to that here. Or they mock their identities, implying that those identities are made up or frivolous, perhaps to justify their shipping. (You never have to justify your ships, okay? You just don’t.) This to me just feels like invalidating the identities of real people in defense of the identity of a fictional one.

And you know, some people are learning about themselves through this! I’ve seen a bunch of discussions and comments both here and on AO3 of people who are starting to understand their own sexuality better because of how many, many fics explore Alastor’s. For me it’s validating to read those, because I’ve never been in a fandom where so much attention was paid to my sexuality. I can’t always relate to the way people choose to write it, but it’s still interesting to see the forms it can take. And if people choose not to explore it, that’s allowed — I am, after all, not required to engage with it. If someone plays with our toys in a way I don’t like, I can just find another set of toys.

Basically what I’m trying to say is — I get it if shipping Alastor makes you uncomfortable. You’re valid to feel that way. But other aro/ace people are also valid if they enjoy it. And at the end of the day, I would just hope that we respect actual people more than a fictional one.

[iron-embers]

The Finale

Had quite a lot of information pass to me in the span of 24 hours, and so it took a while to determine what to say so that we can move on with both a clear conscience and a concise understanding. First, I wanted to thank everyone who has reached out in regards to Bbd, and all the help you have given me in pursuing a fair end to this madness. I couldn’t do this without you all, and for those that have been hurt by the actions of this troll and being caught in the middle, you have my sincerest apologies. No one should have to go through that, Bbd did not deserve any of it and neither did those who have been made victims thanks to the actions of one miserable troll. For those that have suffered for the fighting that has been caused since then, know that your honesty and being civil in the name of seeking the truth have been a great aid, and has restored my faith in the fandom. With that being said, let me make it publicly clear

Hawnkoii is not the troll, and the evidence I was sent while true was taken out of context. When I made the first post addressing everything possible, I had to do it in a way that would not be swayed by opinions, but based on the evidence I gathered. I tagged hawnkoii initially as before any of this, we have actually never spoken to one another. And it wasn’t for any particular reason, it was a mutual understanding as there were no problems that ever arose between us so no point, even after the controversies of drama that happened on a server I was not a part of, I did not block, unfollow or spread anything about hawnkoii to anyone because why cause more unecessary drama. And while the evidence I gathered was quite appalling, the result it brought has been a mix of shock, pain and most importantly, a desire to understand what is really going on shared by many others and most importantly hawnkoii. My post brought on a conversation that was desperately needed, and after me and Hawnkoii talked for a long while both comparing evidence and talking it out like adults, we have come to the shared understanding that we should have spoken sooner. Instead we let the words of others doubt one another’s integrity without ever actually seeking out another side to whatever was being told. And with that we are on the same page and are aware of the truth now. I reached out to the mutuals who have been affected by this privately as I know the troll is still around, but to those I have not spoken to let this post make it clear that hawnkoii is not the troll. They, like me and so many others are another victim of the manipulation the one truly responsible has wrought. I do not regret posting what I did earlier as it helped people get on the same page, like it or not as much as many don’t want to be involved (as understandable as that is) it is clear that it became everyone’s problem when the troll started infringing on others right to privacy. I do however feel a heavy burden knowing that it has brought pain to those that were truly innocent in all this. We all want this to be over, I completely understand and it is for that reason that I want to say what I’m sure all of us have been wanting.

The blame game is done. No more playing by this trolls rules. In the past many of us may have said some things to one another, things that we later realize were wrong and have come to regret, and yet felt they would be shunned if they ever tried to come clean about it. No more. Let this be the moment that no matter what has been said in anger, speculation, and fear….let this be the moment where we let it go. Every individual has agency over what they do, and it is no one’s place to be telling anyone how to follow through with someone else’s choices unless they ask for it. I’ve heard all the sides I could and you know what…what’s done is done. No one should think they deserve forgiveness for what was said, but I would like to think that all of us want in some way to atone. Let this be that moment, we all have our differences, our boundaries and our own opinions, and over time when left unchecked things can get out of hand when any disagreements are not properly communicated. We let petty feelings and pride get in the way of what is truly important, it is wrong to let it continue but it is also HUMAN. And it’s okay to make mistakes. What isn’t okay is to start making what is supposed to be a fun and open place something to dread and fear. By spreading rumors, whispering behind each others back, and instead of letting civility dictate conversations it has become damn near zealotry. This is a place for people to create and share common interests with those they interact with, and whatever ill feelings or disagreements anyone has with one another should be made privately and dealt with in a professional manner. No dragging anyone into private matters, that is a recipe for disaster and if it cannot be solved privately then what will dragging more into it do?

Secondly, this got as far as it did because some have unintentionally forgotten the importance of privacy. It happens, we make mistakes, however as much as I wish otherwise the internet is not the safest place on earth. There are good people here, but there are also bad ones too, and sharing too much info with the wrong person can lead to dangerous waters. So from this point on, if you know someone’s private information because they imparted that to you with the trust you won’t share it, for the love of the creator do not share it without their express permission. And if someone you kind of know happens to ask for it or to verify that other persons info in anyway, please check with the person they are asking about if that is okay. Or if anything, why is that person asking for their personals, if they don’t know the person they are asking about, then they have no business knowing that private info and no one has any business sharing it without permission. End of story on that. This is what made it worse in the first place, so with that said let this be a lesson on why private info should be respected. No more of that. I’ve seen everything that has been going on, I appreciate those that reached out to give their side, the honesty and the want to move forward is what should bring us together, not divide us.

With that understood, and no more of things being unclear and who said what cuz it is time to move on, now to get on to what is also important. It is confirmed that the one responsible for the server drama plus Tumblr drama is

Overwork/ @hearts4muzan / hearts4muzan

And those connected to that account are also the ones responsible for the near year of harassment to all the creators here. As stated before, many things were said on that server by different people, and I have come to the conclusion that overwork who was the one in charge of that server had a malicious reason for inviting all those hantengu creators in the first place. To put it simply, time and time again the troll has reached out stating their obsession with hantengu, to such an unhealthy degree that they came at many creators not just on tumblr, but they did this on twitter first. I don’t have twitter, but have gotten the scoop on what happened on there, and to keep it simple, they love making lil disagreements spiral out of control by playing the they said, who says game, preying on people’s lack of time spent on the internet to manipulate and weave doubt among creators. It starts with one controversial thing, some that can be taken out of context and they spin it, baiting the person they are targeting to say more so they have more info to spin. It is sick, and because they couldn’t get enough of it on twitter, they found their way to tumblr.

Ever since I posted the big timeline post yesterday, these messages came from two of the people I’ve been in contact with, and I’m sure some of you who have interacted with overwork in the past have also received this. As you can see, the troll did see my post as I did link hearts4muzan , calling them out on their bs and so as a final act of desperation they send this to sow more trouble. Not only that, they retagged me and two others earlier today on a post meant to doxx spife, showing a one sided recollection of what happened on the server. As stated, they like to use this guilt trip method to keep people quiet as since they were in charge of the server they saw everything going on, weaponizing and using what others said to spread more chaos, and that action itself shows they are a coward. They didn’t even to bother to make a well written response for different people, they just copy and paste to see what reaction they get. Hell even claiming to be multiple people to divert attention, which may be true, but the again their arrogance led them to believe no one would be willing to put aside their differences to see the bigger picture. Every text of them supposedly informing you of supposed gossip, everytime they shut you down without hearing your side and threatening to reveal the out of context truth, all of it was their game.

Many disputes have happened in or out of that server they were in charge of because they were overseeing all the info being passed around between the creators who joined the server with completely innocent intentions. And whatever info they gather they spin stories out of it, selectively feeding it to certain people so that it creates doubt and chaos. They have done it before, they have experience doing this as they have also proven to fabricate fake screenshots of the person being targeted, with mothzii, spife, and now they did this to BBd. And they tried so damn hard to get BBd to give them something, to bait them into a fight with constant messages, anon asks, and even resorting to stealing their art to goad them on, and when BBd did the professional thing and reported it, with nothing else they started sneaking about on their server and find those that knew bbd in order to get that info. They found their private discord user and even found the personal insta to look for any dirt. Since they couldn’t find any, they resorted to threatening bbd via anon messages that they will locate them. One, that is absurd that the whole reason someone would go to that length is for the sake of creating drama for a fictional fandom, especially to someone who strove for no drama in the first place like bbd. When they threatened that bbd made sure to keep their account private and wanted to what until the troll lost interest, at the very least the location the troll kept claiming was their location was completely off and might as well not correct them. But then, that is when I was sent screenshots of someone claiming BBds discord had a conversation with someone on discord that claimed it was bbd talking bad about one of the creators. The first suspicion is that the other person that BBd was apparently talking to on this supposed chat, had their names blurred except for bbd’s. I found it suspicious and did my research, that was not BBd at all. It was in fact someone copy and pasting bbd’s discord handle, one they got from screenshots they collected showing their handle and putting it over the conversation playing as if it was real. Sick, I know. And that was the final straw, BBd had enough of the lies, enough of the drama in the fandom that she had tried to avoid getting involved in. That’s why when hearts4muzan asked us in asks to join their server, we did not for the sake of not wanting to get caught in the middle of anything. To this day I’m so glad we did not because now we know that was bait, so that we would become their victims. Instead they used other people to get to bbd, and that is what urges me to write all this down to have the story straight.

It doesn’t matter anymore who talked shit about someone else, this became a serious matter when privacy was infringed on and affected innocent people. If the troll who did this wants the attention, to be taken seriously then here is the moment we all come together and keep this troll from ruining tumblr. If they cannot respect privacy, I won’t either. Karma is a beautiful thing and now that we are all on the same page we can finally do what needs to be done and end it.

First time hearing from the troll and me answering them/ them playing as if they are mothziis friend to divert attention

Them stealing my art, same time they stole BBD art after we reported the first pic

Then after we got them banned from stealing more art on rule 34, on July 8th Bbd gets an spam message with a link to a twitter account, showing that they stole another one of her pieces, the tags and text were in Romanian but it basically was saying expletives towards her art of Chizue and Sekido, saying and I wish I could be making this up…Sekido was their hubby and Chizue doesnt deserve him….ya know for a fictional character. She had it reported and taken down, but the account is still on twitter with this….lovely image of the art they parodied from a commission mothzii got from another artist. By the way, that link in their bio was linked straight to the real mothzii, but since mothzii deleted her account due to the twitter drama, it now leads no where, and this troll is using a bastardized version of their user since to play as if they are the same user. They are not. And they have stolen other art of peoples OCs to cuss them out in either Korean or Romanian for daring to make art with their hubby. I cringe as I’m writing this so bear with me. And needless to say, their twitter is full of reblog sand posts that would make even rule 34 blush. All in Romanian. Considering the lack of proper grammar in most of the troll asks everyone was getting at certain points, it does prove they are not an English speaker.

If any of you noticed inconsistencies with how the troll came to you and harrassed through asks, such as one time the text and grammar was awful, and the next they have even better grammar, wonder no more cuz it’s actually two people. One who is in charge of this mothliina account on twitter, and then this user suramii11 that they repost art of is the other. If any of you received the disgusting art or link to said art of dreams child character, this style of tracing over bases and how awful it is, this was the one that did that art.

Unfortunately they did art of hawnkoiis character without consent, and they did that previously with chizue and dreams characters, they were quite disgusting and posted it on rule 34 before they were taken down.

About a week later more asks are sent.

The return of the mothzii rumor

First attempt at resuming the mothzii harrassment

Second attempt, this time from the spam account since I blocked anons

After the twitters art theft, guess what they decided to do once twitter once again failed? Back to tumblr and of course with the same explicit pic of the art they edited before. If anyone was curious why they use this picture, it is actually the same picture that me and BBd found on rule34 after dream was getting harrassed and getting pedo art from the same user. The pic that said chizues name and BBd had taken down, after that was when the troll started coming over to tumblr to harass them. So desperate for attention they even made a fake pic of the real mothzii following them, when that is not the case. All in the name of causing drama

Whether it be a whole group of them are not, this is vile, and what they truly want is to be taken seriously. To be feared and abuse the info they gather to blackmail/doxx creators they are jealous of. Any bit of info they get feeds them and they start to repeatedly harass you with it to wear you down. They did that to mothzii, they did it to Spife (at this point I don’t care if people are still taking overworks word for it, please refer to Spife’s post for the other side of the story), and they tried with so many others like Lumitylovepill and Dreamcorechild. Just like when they tried to play the person of color card and call the creators they were jealous of white supremecists, and when I corrected them as them pulling the race card and using it to be a degenerate was not only insulting, that I was not white, my ask box was filled with all sorts of racist insults, all different as they hoped I would responded back with what race I was so that they could get more info. Since I did not and only said Hispanic, they kept saying Mexican. I’m using this as an example, as that is just one of the many ways they use to bait people into giving personal info. When I didn’t, the asks stopped for a time. When people show that their attempts don’t work, they keep trying and trying, and the best thing to do is show them that it doesn’t affect you.

Point is, I wanted to show people how they do it, so that this doesn’t happen again. Many have said it best, ignore them, they want private info cuz they want to scare other people with it. They are a joke. And know that I made this post I hope people can see that turning against one another will not help. That is what the real culprits want. They claimed time and time again they were against pedo art and pro shipping, yet here they are reposting the same stuff on the twitter. They claimed we followed them, which was a ploy to cause another witch hunt, they claimed they were fair and just on discord, yet here they are calling Sekido their hubby and dosing others for liking the character. They claimed to have friends….if they were friends with anyone it was just them lying to themselves. If they shows what they were truly like to the people they claimed were their friends, they too would be shunned, just like what they messaged me when I confronted them.

Please refer to the first post if there is any confusion, and let us all put this to an end

First post

They are a coward. And even if these accounts get taken down they are so delusional they will make more,and we will be ready. This post with everything laid out, it is my hope that people will be properly informed and take the necessary steps to keep this fandom as fun as it should be. Share this, reblog, ask questions, no matter what, the truth will always prevail. People are from all different walks of life, but we all love demon slayer, let that love for it shine over the pride, the drama and unnecessary bs that should not define how creators treat one another. Respect others boundaries and just be kind to one another.

[rainbowsky]

Hi- first have to say I love your writing, your organization, you’re just amazing! I’m a middle-age mom of four who has never, ever been in any sort of fandom or “shipped” a couple in 40+ years of consuming tv, movies, music, etc. Got introduced to TU via my teen daughter and very quickly was bjyx before I knew it was a thing, before I even saw any BTS. Googled the actors, saw some BTS, and just thought “of course.” I mean, of course! (TBC)

(Cont) I’ve read just about everything here but if you’ve answered this, pls point me to it. My question is, how do the “antis” or “solos” reconcile the BTS with their POV that DD and GG aren’t gay, hate each other, are using the other, etc? [redacted]

Hi! Thanks so much, I'm glad you're enjoying my blog. 😊

Sorry, I removed some of your ask because I don't like long asks, and you (perhaps unwittingly) included some theories/ideas I don't agree with and don't want on my blog.

As for your question, I have talked about similar topics quite a bit in the past. You can look through my 'solos belong to moling su sect' tag for my posts about solos if you want to dig a little deeper, but I personally don't think there's any point in going down that path. Solos are free to believe (or not believe) whatever they want, and it shouldn't really have anything to do with us.

This question is inviting me to psychoanalyze, theorize, and speculate about what they think and believe, but in my opinion there's nothing good that can can come out of doing so. I have done some of that in the past, and in my opinion it's totally pointless. If anything, it just helps create the perception that we should be digging into topics like this - something I definitely do not believe.

I have talked to solos about these topics in the past, and the thing that stood out to me about those discussions is that they're just different people who have different views. Might as well ask why anyone has a different view about anything.

If you've ever tried talking to someone who is opposite to you on the political spectrum, surely you've experienced how different and unwavering another person's views can be. Trying to unravel all of that can be a huge mess, and is ultimately just a waste of time.

The reality is, different people have different levels of investment in the type of material we focus on, they have different interests and motivations for being involved in fandom, they have different backgrounds and leanings, and they have different views and interpretations of everything they see. Even different turtles have different views and interpretations.

We don't need to spend a moment thinking about any of it. In fact I urge people to just avoid solos, avoid trying to speculate about them or digging into their perspectives or beliefs. It doesn't matter what they think, and most of their thoughts and feelings about this topic are hateful and homophobic. It is harmful to dig into and spread these ideas.

I have a whole post about that here.

I say this all the time, but we need to stay in our own lane. Focus on GG and DD and their projects. Enjoy being a turtle. We shouldn't waste our time or brain cells worrying about what haters and naysayers think, or why.

This isn't just about avoiding negativity or fan wars, is also about respecting other human beings. They have their own views and their own experience of GG and DD, and they have every right to experience it in the way they want to. It's not our role to try to change their perspective or even to evaluate and judge them. Live and let live. Yes, even when they don't extend us the same courtesy. Perhaps especially then. Be the change you wish to see in the world.

"Why don't people believe BJYXSZD?" should never be asked in a way that implies that anyone who doesn't is stupid or blind. And I'm saying that as someone who's guilty of doing that all the time. No one is obligated to dig into the evidence, and no one is obligated to believe.

There are a LOT of turtles who don't believe, either, and they're still turtles and they still love and support GGDD and still bring a lot of great value to this fandom. If we can accept them, surely we can come to terms with the fact that solos don't believe, either.

PS] Just one thing I wanted to reply to that didn't get posted from your ask - there is definitely no world in which solos believe that they were once a couple and broke up. There may be a rare person out there who fits that description, but the vast majority of solos don't believe that their idol is gay or has had any kind of a romantic relationship with the other one. A huge percentage of them are extremely homophobic or at least heteronomative.

[justthegirlinthemirror]

sort of new to internet wicked fandom tho i’ve been a fan of the musical for a really long time and as a fellow nessa fan (though never one to excuse her actions lol) i wanted to ask like… why is it so universally accepted that nessa enslaved boq in the musical? i know that it’s canon she was restricting the rights of muchkinlanders, and i know that it’s stated he’s there against his will, but like…. he… he very very much could still be on the payroll. like all of those things can be true and he still could be a paid servent of the governor’s mansion. i dont have anything against the take that he’s doing unpaid labor, i think it’s a fair reading, but most of the people i’ve seen talking about it don’t seem to think there’s any possibility he is getting paid. and personally i think there’s a Lot of room for that.

and i know also, that it’s not canon because it’s try-outs dialogue! but! it’s very important to me that in the original version of that scene, nessa calls him her butler (famously a paid position) and says “i arranged for you to work here” implying, again, that this is an arrangement above board in many ways and one that certainly includes compensation for labor.

now. do i think she’s paying him well? absolutely not. but it’s just been like, idk, kind alienating to see a lack of like, allowance for interpreting the text in that way

(it is. also possible. that they are romantically involved in some capacity still, albeit. in a wildly toxic/abusive way—which in this case still wouldn’t be slavery but something Else also bad and equally interesting to explore narratively, but that’s a Whole other can of worms)

hi! glad to see another nessa fan in the wild and welcome to the online fandom! lets see. I do think it is very possible that she is paying him in some way, whether it be money or some other form of payment (like meals and a place to sleep), and i'm not really sure why the small corner of nessa and boq stans has just accepted that she enslaved him. his line of dialogue does state that nessa has enslaved his country and taken away their rights, which could imply that boq himself is also enslaved to nessa, but it could also imply that, even if boq is not a slave, he's not being treated equally.

it's also interesting to think about what has happened to the rest of munchkinland. because in the wicked witch of the east scene we only see the inside of colwen grounds/nessa's room, the only evidence of nessa's dictatorship is boq. i really hope that the movie expands on the wwote scene to maybe show us the conditions and treatment of the munchkinlanders under nessa's rule, because it would give a bigger picture of just how wicked nessa has become. we have no idea how the rest of the munckinlanders are living under her rule, and not really under her father's rule either. it's implied in the book that munchkinland is a poorer farming country, inhabited mostly by groups of lower class farmers in small districts, and the musical has the same sentiment. the exception is the thropps, who, being the governing family, appear to be a higher class, so it would be interesting to know how munchkinland is actually affected.

it's also entirely plausible that boq tried to escape or leave nessa at some point, which could be an explanation for him being paid or not. if nessa hadn't been paying him early in her rule and he tried to escape, perhaps nessa desperately offered to pay him for his work if he stayed. or perhaps the opposite happened, if nessa WAS paying him to begin with, and threatened to cut his wages if he left her. which is very manipulative and sounds exactly like something nessa would do at that point.

nessa and boq's relationship and dynamic is something that really fascinates me, and your ask has actually made me wonder about a lot of other things to do with it.

thank you for your ask, i love to yap about nessa (and boq), and i hope you're having a good day/night!

[that-ghost-pal]

My TAU Bookbinding Frenzy

So I’ve gotten really really into bookbinding recently (well, sort of, I’ll explain in a second), and I keep forgetting to share what I’ve been doing, So allow me to rectify that.

BEHOLD!! The Six (6) TAU fics I have bound and printed!

(This ended up being really long so, more details under the cut)

This printing journey actually started months ago, some time last year when I printed these three, No Rest for the Automotive by Feneris, So you Want to be a Demonologist by Dementor_ssc, and the first six oneshots (collated into one) from the Bentley Farkas and Friends series by @skia-oura.

For these three I used the Hardcover Case Bound Book tutorial by Sea Lemon alongside other related tutorials by her. Her videos were very useful throughout all of this so I highly recommend checking out her channel if you’re interested in doing all this yourself. I also initially used a tutorial on tumblr to get the formatting looking nice, but that has since been lost to the aether, so for most of them I just mucked around on Word until I thought they looked nice and professional. I did also use Jess Less’ tutorial on binding fanfiction specifically to help with figuring out how to print these books.

For my very first attempt at binding I wanted to start with something small, that would let me get a feel for the techniques without risking wasting a whole bunch of materials by making some kind of mistake so I chose No Rest for the Automotive by Feneris as it’s one of my favourite shorter fics.

For the cover I used some coloured card that I stitched to the binding, which I’m sure I would have used a tutorial for, but this was done a while ago and I’m not sure which it would have been. This ended up with 28 pages, including an appendix with the author notes at the end, which I did for all of these.

The second book I printed was So You Want to be a Demonologist by Dementor_ssc, because of course it was. It was one of the first fics I read for this AU and I feel fairly confident in saying it’s the most popular in the fandom (and rightfully so, it’s incredible). @gnomewithalaptop also printed it, which was very cool to see, (and she had a significantly cooler cover than my copy but ah well).

Following Sea Lemon’s tutorial I got as far as glueing the spine together getting a complete text block (I think that’s the right term, idk I can’t be bothered checking haha) and making a haphazard attempt at making the hard cover, but that involved a lot of glue, and waiting for glue to dry, which sadly absolutely ruined my motivation to properly finish this project. But even still I now have a physical copy of one of my favourite fics, and it might not have a pretty cover but I still think it’s neat. This ended up having 191 pages :)

I ran out of image space so check out the reblogs for the rest of it!

[lookingfts]

Friday Fic Rec 9/20

Thanks so much for your submissions! I actually got so many that I’m going to save some for next week, so if you don’t see something you recommended, I will include it later!

Titles are links to each fic.

can’t turn back now by idkmanokay

"This mob boss Anthony and BAMF Kate is absolutely amazing. I love it when they match each other’s freak a thousand percent.”

Description: anthony inherits his father’s empires and finally meets his match in a secretive kate

WIP (12/14) - E - 64k words

So Help Me God by writesforpleasure

“It’s a very interesting story about Kate and Anthony as camp counsellors at a religious summer camp!! It addresses themes of religious guilt, atheism and God, from their perspectives.”

Description: Kate, Anthony, and company navigate American Christian summer camp. What could go wrong?

WIP (5/?) - NR - 14k words

An Inconvenient Arrangement by @doodlingaway

“This story is set after the Sheffield dinner. What if Anthony was honest with Edwina regarding their loveless marriage? And then Kate proposes a marriage of convenience. Chaos ensues. It's a brilliant emotional revelation. Really anything by this author is A+!”

Description: After the Sheffield dinner, Anthony is struck by Kate’s mention that he would break her sister’s heart by calling off their engagement. He decides that a conversation is in order between them to clear the air, which goes about as well as you might expect. Kate is left to pick up the pieces and find a way forward for her family. Which, most disconcertingly, might just involve the one person who has caused all this pain for her family to begin with.

Complete - T - 18k words

bloom by antematter

“An oldie but a goodie. I just reread this as antematter has been pumping out hit after hit these last couple of months. Every one of her stories is stunningly beautiful, but this one was the OG for me. I still remember reading it the first time round in complete awe and waiting so anxiously for the second chapter. It was my first soul marks fic, and I’ve been in love with the trope ever since. Antematter is a fandom gem!“

Description: Kate is born with a single tulip on the inside of her left wrist and a red lily on her right. This in itself is not particularly unusual. a soulmates au

Complete - T - 7k words

dowry by afreenafreen

“Dowry is a masterpiece, a fic focused on Kate's feelings after Anthony's marriage proposal to Edwina, but the difference is that although Kate is destroyed, she also feels freed when Anthony refuses any dowry and with the added bonus of a friendship between Kate and Dorset.”

Description: She is glad that Edwina managed to find a good match for herself - despite all of Kate's meddling and disapproval and interference. And after she goes home and hands the settlement papers to Mary with careful instructions regarding its notarization and safekeeping, she must congratulate her sister as well, sweetly and sincerely, and wash her hands off the entire affair. For she has now been set free.

WIP (5/10) - M - 28k words

A Promise Made In Haste by @waterlilyrose

“Hands down the best take on the 'What if Anthony married Edwina' premise that I have read. It's a very slow burn as the author takes the time to actually navigate regency era divorce (taking some liberties, of course). A really spectacular, thorough journey to their HEA.”

Description: An AU where Anthony actually goes through with marrying Edwina and Kate actually goes back to India. And Anthony and Edwina (after maybe a year or so into their marriage--which is going miserably by the way) go to visit her in India.

Complete - E - 107k words

time makes fools of us all. by limeny

Description: Kate gave her sister the most exasperated look she could manage in a fuzzy pink sweater. “Edwina Sharma,” she scoffed. “What on Earth possessed you to say yes to a loser that would allow a bored widow to play matchmaker for him?” A modern AU love story in the span of a year.

Complete - M - 20k words

LFTS rec: Kate the Virgin by @rosesatdawn24

Such a fun plot for our two dumb lovebirds. Sweet and sexy and you don’t need me to tell you that my girl Rose is an absolutely amazing writer.

Description: A Jane the Virgin AU

WIP (16/40) - E - 32k words

Thanks to those who submitted! Keep your recs coming! You can find previous weeks under the "lfts fic recs" tag.

[jaegeraether]

Sunsets and Footballers - ONE-SHOTS

Jae: In November 2023, I started writing. In January 2024, I created my first online community for WOSO lovers. I’m now out of that and onto my second one, Lumos by Jae, however it’s impacted me more than I could have ever imagined, and in the best kind of way!

I’ve met some extraordinary people and created relationships that will stay with me for a lifetime. It’s something I’d never even thought of before!

I appreciate everyone I meet and communicate with online. It’s crazy how one decision to start writing has brought special people into my life from all around the world!

This BONUS chapter within the S&F universe is a little nod to that, by way of creating a cute little romantic story based around two people meeting on an online forum.

I hope you all enjoy the story of Rosie and Mari!

Discord Lovers (3.7k)

ROSIE POV

She posted a Lumos photo onto the server and, as expected, the comments flooded in. ‘Her fucking arms. Exactly what I needed to see on a down day.’

‘Future wife.’

‘I need to know her lifting routine for this immediately.’

‘The things I’d do for her.’

‘On my knees.’

She chuckled and wondered just how strange Ona would find it if she made her way onto the thirsty WOSO and fanfics side of their fandom. Pushing that humiliating thought aside, she sent a text and immediately her phone buzzed.

Mari: You’re having a down day, my girl?

Rosie: Just one of those days where everyone expects everything from me. I’m okay, love.

Mari: Promise?

Rosie: Promise. Did you see that photo of Ona before I posted it?

Mari: I sent you $20 to get yourself Starbucks, love. Get some rest today, please. Yes, I did see!

Rosie: You’re amazing.. *big eyes emoji* I don’t deserve you. You were there today?

Mari: You know I’m always there.

Rosie: God, she’s incredible.

Mari: I’m fully aware that Ona Batlle is the biggest competition I have when it comes to you.

Rosie chuckled at her phone. It had been months now that she’d been involved in the online WOSO fan server, and only slightly less time talking to the person who’d quickly become the most important person in her life. Never before had she imagined meeting someone over the internet, let alone touching herself over the phone to them. Messaging them every day. Needing them there just to be able to sleep. Mari had become that for her, in such intimate ways that she never knew were possible online.

Rosie: You know full well that you’re the only one I want. *red heart emoji* *eye roll emoji*

Mari: Let me just screenshot that for future evidence…

Rosie: Wooooow.

Mari: *laughing emoji* Speaking of us… did you book your tickets?

Rosie: Are you almost done with work..? We can talk about it over the phone if you want.

Mari: I’m just at the stadium for the night. Is that a yes? I said I’d pay for them!

Rosie: They were cheaper so close to the date! And you’re doing enough by offering your place for accommodation while I’m there. Working?

Mari worked with for Lumos and her primary focus for content were the Barcelona team. She always sent unseen photos into the group and to her because she was the one taking them. And although she was jealous of Rosie’s love for Ona, she did encourage it by sending photos. But Rosie knew she only did that to make her happy.

Mari: Out with my friend for the game, remember? Of course you can stay with me, silly girl. You’re mine.

Rosie almost slapped her own head. How could she forget?!

Rosie: Oh that’s right! Sorry baby, I completely blanked. Mmn – I can’t wait..

Mari: Pictures of her tend to do that to you, huh?

Rosie: Mapi’s recently were also hot *hot emoji* I told you her friend said I’m exactly her type, right?

Mari: The tattoo artist? Only about 10 times. Lucky you’re so cute.

Rosie: You don’t know that. You haven’t seen all of me yet!

It was true, the pair had met online and were in somewhat of a relationship beyond friendship, yet not far enough in to call it a partnership, and they’d both been waiting to meet each other in person for the first time to make it special. Because they were special. And they both knew it.

Mari: I have to go, my friend is waiting. So, just to confirm, you did book your tickets?

Rosie: Yes… but I’d like to talk to you about it over the phone after the game..? Don’t worry about messaging me during, just spend time with him!

Mari: *excited GIF* I’m so excited. One more week! *red heart emoji* I’ll message you after the game. I miss you already..

Rosie: One more week. *red heart emoji* I miss you too.

In one week, Rosie would be flying over to Barcelona for the first time in years. In one week, she’d met the person she’d fallen in love with over the internet. Her person.

Mari: My bed is calling your name. I can’t wait to hold you at last. I have to go now, driving to my friends house, but I’ll be sure to stop by the players café after to see if I can spot a few of them and get photos for you!

Rosie: Where have you been all my life?

Mari: Spain baby, Spain.

Rosie: One week.

Mari: One week…

She put her phone down, grinning like an idiot. If she’d told any of her friends, they’d say she was crazy for meeting someone when she’d only seen bits of her. Her hands. Her shoes. Her neck. Honestly, she would be just as sceptical in their position. She’d scream bloody murder that they were being catfished, but there was something about her that was just so fucking authentic.

They’d laughed and cried over the phone. Watched movies. Vented to each other. Fucked over the phone. The sound of her noises in her ears drove her crazy. Jesus.

They had the same communication style and morals. The same idea of family and prioritisation of values. She thanked her lucky stars every day for bringing Mari into her life.

Somehow, she’d followed a fanfic writer into an online server to meet friends. And somehow, she found her comfort person. She was just hoping that when she got there, everything would fall into place and be as natural as it was over the phone. Because they were special. Beyond special.

Rosie went about her day as she usually did, always busy with work and her social life. She tried to not look at her phone too much, missing Mari but knowing that space was good. They’d had those conversations before and hence, they both would tend to not message the other while working or with friends. They didn’t want to become too dependent, especially when they hadn’t met in person.

She jumped in and out of the server throughout the day, responding to images people posted from the game and such. Most were average shots of players from a distance, though Lumos posted the best shots to Instagram, and always so quickly! Photos of Alexia, Mapi, Aitana, Ona. God, they were all so attractive.

Ona wasn’t her usual type, but it was simply crazy to her how attracted to her she was. Mari, though, had always been a fan of Alexia and her partner, a businesswoman named Ridley. They’d become the it couple of the WOSO world alongside Lucy and the Director of Lumos, YFN. And even more strange, was that YFN and Ridley grew up together! Sisters or something similar. That knowledge had sent the WOSO world into a rabbit hole investigation and conspiracy. She’d photographed Lucy less since she’d left to go play for Chelsea and be closer to YFN, which was understandable. Chelsea though? Not so understandable.

Alexia and Ridley though.. those photos paid a hell of a lot of money with Lumos. It’s why Mari was always at training. Ridley tended to show up and support her at games and training often. Alexia had never used to be one who was publicly affectionate, but she was genuinely the opposite with Ridley to the point where Rosie didn’t even think Alexia knew how touchy and sappy she was being.

It was… a dream. A goal. An aim. The love they had, the way they looked at each other was exactly what Rosie wanted in life. Until that point, she’d never gotten there. She’d just been a sort of ‘stepping stone’ in relationships. She never felt like she was good enough, pretty enough, funny enough. She’d obsessed over the gym and created an unhealthy relationship with food. She was working on it all, though. She was getting better. Mari had helped out with all of it a lot. She was… healthy for her.

Even when Rosie had sent her a picture of her body in the mirror, minus her face, she’d been met with nothing but support and genuine obsession. Mari made her feel so confident about herself that it encouraged her to send more and to think about it less, because each time, she knew she’d be met with genuine enthusiasm and adoration.

Never in a million years could she put into words how she felt for that woman. She found herself checking her phone too many times, waiting for her name to pop up in her messages or the server. Waiting to see her photos posted by Lumos.

She always tried to distract herself from the obsession that was Mari and focus on life instead. Sometimes it didn’t work. Today though, with the amount of things she had to do, it did. She’d missed the Barca game, instead flooded with work and then by friends.

By the time she got home, she saw Mari’s messages. Unreleased photos of Ona and the team from her Lumos co-workers. Photos of Ona signing autographs and taking selfies in the crowd. Mapi and Ingrid embracing. Alexia climbing into the stands to wrap her arms around Ridley who was sat with the Putellas family.

Everything was right in the world of WOSO.

And then she sent another picture. It was after the game… Ona in her favourite café just around the corner from the stadium.

Mari: Ona made a pit stop… no other players, sorry!

Rosie: How did you get that photo without her seeing you?!

Mari: I can be sneaky *wink emoji*

Rosie: Can we make a deal?

Mari: Anything. Tell me.

Rosie: When I come to Barcelona… I want to meet you for the first time in that café.

Mari was silent, for almost too long until, well into the night. She climbed into bed early, wanting to sleep to get out of her own head, but couldn’t seem to put her phone down. Around 9pm her time, Mari’s name glowed onto the screen and she answered it far, far too quickly.

“Hola..” she whispered.

‘Hi baby,’ came the response in Spanish.

“You’ve been busy.”

‘I have.. I’m sorry. I’ve been busy with some last minute work things that came in.’

“Is this about Ona and Alexia being mobbed outside the restaurant?”

‘Yes, love. Ona and Alexia’s agents planned paparazzi shots went south. Other paparazzi showed up and started pushing and shoving. We had to put our cameras down and help get them out of there.’

It was quite usual for Lumos and the players to organise for photos to be taken when they were interacting with fans to encourage their public image and female footballers in general. Lumos tended to be quite respectful with it all. They were there for the players.

“But you weren’t supposed to be working tonight?”

‘Bella’s daughter got sick, and I had to cover last minute.’

“And you had to intervene?! Are you okay? What happened?!”

‘We called Lumos head office and let them know there were others there. They started getting violent while we were on the phone and YFN told us to put the cameras down and protect the players. That’s their main concern first and foremost.’

Lumos were well known for their good relationships with players. Mari adored working there, and all of them did have crowd-control and security training to ensure the workers and players were always safe.

They’d spoken before about the possibility of Rosie moving over to live there, as it had always been her dream to live in Barca, and Mari was 100% positive that Lumos would hire her. And even better, she could work on the Barca team, with travel opportunities following the players!

The first time they’d talked about it, she’d never been so excited. But her first thought was always Mari. They were so sappy for each other that they wanted the first time they saw each other to be in person. They also needed to meet and interact to see if they worked together well in person. And God, did she want her.

Mari sent the photos she had of Ona and Alexia, and then there was random footage from one of the workers for legal purposes, videoing the Lumos workers trying to protect the famous Barcelona players, getting them safely to their car. Ridley pulled up, brakes slamming on and running out to manhandle most people away, protecting Alexia and Ona like they were her clients. She’d picked Alexia up, practically carrying her to the car and grabbing Ona to shove her in just behind. In the video, she noticed one of the Lumos workers wrestling a larger paparazzi guy in the background and her stomach filled with butterflies. It was the most she’d ever seen of her before… and although she couldn’t see her face, she still felt giddy. One more week.

“You promise you’re okay?”

‘I promise… I’m just sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner. We had a few meetings with Lumos and Barca management after that.’

“All thanking you, I hope.”

‘Of course.’

“I was just about to head to bed..”

‘I assumed so baby, it’s getting late. Would you like me to stay here while you sleep?’

“Is that even a question?”

‘Mmn.’ Her voice was so deep that she knew she was getting tired also. She loved it when it did that. ‘Sleep, baby. I’m here.’

“Will you fall asleep with me..?”

‘I’m just getting into bed now.. put your phone down now please. I’ll be here when you wake, love.’

It was rare that their schedules matched up to allow them to sleep together. It must have been after midnight there, but she wasn’t surprised after the night she’d had.

It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep to her sleepy noises on the other end, knowing that in 6 days, she’d be right there next to her.

The next week went by excitedly and far, far too slowly. Mari sent her photos from the games and work. There was even a point where she’d been at a Lumos event and put YFN on the phone. The Director! And she was so lovely. Mari and Rosie always spoke in Spanish, so it was cute to hear her accent as she spoke English with YFN, though it was loud. She was also so softly spoken in English and YFN was patient, suggesting words to her whenever she faltered. Rosie used English in her everyday life, so it wasn’t an issue for her at all.

Come the end of the week, she was shaking with nerves. Her friends kept her entertained while she packed her suitcase and carry on, and then they drove her down to the closest airport with a direct flight to Barcelona. She was on the phone with Mari at the airport as she waited for her flight. A dragging 9 hours later, and she touched down in Barcelona. The first thing she did when she stepped outside of the airport was tilt her face towards that warm, friendly sun, wondering if this was the place she’d spend the rest of her life.

She freshened up in the shower at the airport, getting dressed and making sure her hair and makeup was perfect. Now, she was more nervous than she’d expected. Her hands were shaking applying the lipstick, and she tried to ignore it.

Her phone’s esim finally activated and buzzed numerous times. Her friends and family checking on her. The WOSO server talking about the latest WOSO news and upcoming games. And Mari…

Mari: Hi love, I see your flight landed safely. Welcome to Barcelona! Welcome to my home.. I know I’ve asked a few times but are you sure you don’t want me to pick you up from the airport?

Rosie smiled down at that and replied.

Rosie: Your home is beautiful. So much so, that I can see myself living here one day perhaps… It’s okay, we have a plan, yes?

Mari: If you find me pretty, that is. And yes, we do..

Rosie: *eye roll emoji* I know you. Regardless of how you look. You’re my person. I’ll see you soon..

Mari: I live just around the corner so message me when you’re there.

Rosie: Okay, love. What do you think the chances are that I’ll see one of the players?

It was the most popular café for the Barcelona players to be spotted. Ridley and Alexia were there just a few days ago on a double date with Mapi and Ingrid. Even Lucy and YFN had been spotted there!

Mari: I dare say your chances are good, love.

Rosie: Don’t get jealous now, you know the only person I want is you.

Mari: I can’t wait to see you. To hold you. I’ll be the one with red bracelet on that you sent me…

Rosie: And I’ll be the one in the blue one you sent me…

Mari: Culers for life, we are.

Rosie smiled at her phone like an idiot. She finished up and left the airport, jumping into a taxi that she knew would be far too expensive.

She was here. Shit. It was happening. Fuck. She was about to meet her. Double fuck. In the very best kind of way.

She tried to distract herself by responding to her family and friends, letting them know she’d arrived safely. She turned on her location so they could follow, just as they’d insisted, and promised to keep them updated. You could never be too safe!

The taxi pulled outside of the café 15 minutes later and she paid, thanking him in Spanish, and realising just how different her accent was to the locals. She snapped a photo of the café from the outside, trying to enjoy the moment for what it was.

She was here.

Looking around, she tried to spot Mari to no avail. She knew she wouldn’t. She’d give her space until she was ready. Rosie knew that.

She wandered inside and found a free booth, parking her luggage and ordering a drink. Only when it arrived, and she’d had a drink to calm her nerves, did she message Mari.

Rosie: I’m at the café.

Mari: Okay baby, are you ready?

God, that woman. She knew just what she needed.

Rosie: I think so..

Mari: On my way. Message me if you want me to wait at all... it’s okay.

Rosie: I want my hug.

Mari: Mmn. *smiling hearts emoji*

She knew that Mari lived around about a 7-minute walk from the café, so she had time to control herself. She played with her phone for a bit. Put it down. Smiled at the friendly locals coming and going in and out. Fidgeted. Forced herself to stop. Took a sip. Looked at the menu.

A few minutes felt like half an hour, and while she was looking at the menu, she heard the door to the café open again. It was too soon to be Mari, so she didn't bother looking at first, until she decided to distract herself by checking.

Holy shit.

It was Ona.

Ona Batlle. Not 3 metres away from her. Fuck, she was stunning. A petite thing, but so goddamned beautiful, her long hair down and sharp jaw exposed. She wasn’t paying attention to her at all, just on her phone texting and looking at the menu. She ordered but the café was too loud for her to hear what she’d ordered. If it wasn’t too busy, Rosie would have offered to pay for it. But it was bustling. She was lucky to even get a table!

Rosie: Baby, Ona is here.

Mari: Are you going to say hello?

Rosie: I don’t want to be one of those fangirls. I’m so much more than that. I respect her so much more than that.

Mari: I know… it’s why I love you.

Ona collected her drink and left, walking outside and making a phone call. She looked agitated, almost. Rosie wondered if she should have offered her table, though it would have been far too loud for her to make her phone call.

Rosie: Are you close?

She watched as Ona paced up and down, talking on the phone and wondered if Mari would run into her. A few more minutes passed and there was no response. Had she backed out? Did Mari need time?

Luckily, Ona was distracting her from her thoughts. She hung up and took a sip of her drink, but instead of walking away, she wandered back inside, her eyes immediately finding her own.

Rosie looked down at her menu, her face flushing bright red. Had she seen her watching? Fuck. Where was Mari?

She skimmed down the menu, not necessarily reading it, when a body slid into the booth opposite her. Before she looked, she could smell the perfume Mari had sent her on a Batlle Barca jersey she’d sent her. Fuck.

Rosie took a breath and looked up, startling as she’d realised it wasn’t Mari. Instead, she fell into the comforting chocolate brown eyes of Ona Batlle. Fuck. Was she frustrated on the phone because she was meeting friends and the café was busy? Did she want the booth Rosie was taking up by herself?

Ona didn’t say anything, her expression instead softening. The longer they sat there, the more Rosie grew confused. Ona’s expression changed from soft to comforting, as if she knew something Rosie didn’t.

What the fuck was happening?

Was this a present from Mari? Working for Lumos, Mari had met all of the players multiple times, and it wasn’t unlike her to go out of her way to organise her meeting the one person she loved most in the WOSO world.

“I… I.. d..did Mari send you?” she managed to whisper.

Ona hesitated and then slowly nodded.

“She said she’d be here soon..”

Ona didn’t say anything else. Her facial expression slowly fell into a softer, and almost guilty face. Until that’s all it was. Guilt. Comfort. Apologies.

Rosie looked down on her wrist and saw a red bracelet.

Fuck.

A tear fell down one of her cheeks. Ona’s bottom lip trembled and she reached out, offering her hand to take. She couldn’t move just yet.

Fuck.

Mari-Ona.

The person she’d fallen in love with, was Ona.

[curiositydoorunlocked]

The Recent News

Spoilers ahead for Stranger Things 5, including photos of actors on set.

Look, something about all this (the leak + the photo situation) feels… fishy, and I can see people in various tags are getting various levels of upset by it. So as someone who has been around the block a couple of times, I want to say something. 

First of all: hi, everyone! I’m glad to be here. I’ve been a fan of ST since early-mid 2020 and involved in the fandom since mid-late 2020 (on other accounts, which have since been deleted), so I feel at least marginally qualified to say what I’m going to say. That being said, I drifted away from the fandom before S5 filming began and haven't watched the show in a while; if I get anything wrong please feel free to correct me.

First I want to talk about Bridgerton S3. I closely followed that production in 2022 and 2023. Like Stranger Things, Bridgerton is a high-budget Netflix original show with a large cast, lots of public interest, an active fandom, and what I would call "special considerations" for filming. (In Bridgerton's case it's the historical element; in ST it's the sci-fi/fantasy element plus the historical element, albeit to a lesser degree.) They filmed for a shorter period of time than ST5 is expected to film for, yes, but many of the circumstances are/were similar. That brings me to my point: when Bridgerton S3 was filming, the best we got from the main cast was a handful of photos a) taken from relatively far away that b) did not spoil anything major. Luckily for us, the photos were clear, but in the end they didn't really amount to anything more than eye candy, something to get excited over.

In contrast, these photos from the ST5 set are clear, close, and most importantly reveal seemingly significant story beats/results. (Okay, the Mike and Hopper one isn't super close or clear, I'll give ya that. But it's still pretty damn close for a set that's supposedly locked down! Especially if they're filming a scene possibly related to a major character's death/disappearance!) Kinda odd, right? I'm not necessarily saying they were leaked on purpose to misdirect fans, because I'm not that confident in myself. I don’t have any insider/industry knowledge; I can only claim a healthy (perhaps too healthy?) level of skepticism. But I do want to put that possibility out there, because I think it’s an important one to consider.

“But wait,” you might say, “many parts of S4 were leaked, and leaked accurately at that. What’s to say these aren’t real too?”

That’s a fair point! Maybe production hasn’t learned their lesson from S4; maybe they’re truly terrible at preventing leaks and that’s the end of the story. Yes, they’ve spoken a little about security measures in the lead-up to S5 but that doesn’t mean those security measures were implemented well, or even at all.

Even keeping that in mind, I nonetheless implore everyone to chill the hell out. I say this again, with so much love: CHILL THE HELL OUT. This has happened before: even with the accurate leaks and clear photos we got during S4 filming, we lacked so much context. Mike and El’s “I love you” scene is a great example of this. There was quite the brouhaha over that leak in certain corners of the fandom… and yet the actual scene turned out nothing like the phrase “Mike finally says ‘I love you’ to El” implies. Another example are these photos (see above; my apologies for the poor quality!) of the Hawkins group in the parking lot of The War Zone. When those photos were leaked, I recall speculation that the scene would appear at the very end of the finale, that it related to an apocalypse situation, and so on, but not so! In the show it appeared before the final battle with Vecna: the town was in a panic, yeah, but no apocalypse.

That’s what I mean about chilling the hell out. We can’t assume the photos/leaks are genuine—and even if we did indulge that assumption (which is fair given production’s history!) we can’t assume we have the whole story.

Hang in there, folks. We survived S4 production and we’ll survive S5 production too :)

TL;DR: Hi, I’m new and also not new here. I made this account just to talk about this photo/leak situation because that’s how passionate I am about this godforsaken show. This is a little weird, but whether the leaks/photos are real or planted, stay calm. We know so little right now. Don’t waste your energy on blind panic, not when we still have another year(ish) to go.

[darcytaylor]

The Importance of Staying Grounded in Speculative Conversations

It’s that time again, where I’m writing what might be a thought-provoking post? Inspirational? Overbearing? I know most of you are probably tired of these by now, but hey, maybe there’s something worth considering in what I’m about to say. Or maybe not. Who’s to say?

So why am I writing this? Is it to convince you to agree with me? No, you don’t have to. Is it to share my personal take on what's going on? Nah, honestly, I don’t think my opinion matters that much. Do I have thoughts on what’s happening? Sure, but it’s not my place to tell anyone how to think or what to believe. But maybe I can offer a perspective on speculation and how people engage with it:

I’ve been reflecting on how people engage with speculation (shocking, I know! haha), especially in fandoms and even in other public spaces. People have this undeniable passion for what they believe to be true, and while that passion can be understandable - and even admirable at times - it can go a little overboard.

When I say, “I don’t actually know what’s going on because I don’t know the people involved,” I tend to get a couple of reactions: Some people see it the same way, some people get defensive, some people try to convince me to see things their way. But here’s the truth: I don’t know the people involved - and neither do you. None of us know the full story or what’s going on behind the scenes.

A lot of people will say, “But look at the evidence! It’s so obvious!” And here’s where I disagree: Without firsthand knowledge, we’re essentially trying to put together a puzzle with most of the pieces missing. And drawing conclusions from that? It’s risky at best - and misleading at worst.

What really gets to me, though, is the need some people have to stir the pot (and I guess this is the main reason I make posts like this). It seems like some people want to rile others up, making it appear like they know more or that their perspective is the only one that matters. Maybe it’s a way to feel validated or in control, but in the end, it doesn’t help anyone. It just adds noise and fuels unnecessary drama, which - can be harmful!!

When people get defensive about their views, I think I could be because they’re seeking reassurance. They want to feel like they’ve figured it out. But the truth is: none of us have all the answers. We’re all just outsiders looking in.

For me, staying grounded means accepting that I don’t have the full picture - and that’s okay. It means being open to the possibility that there could be many explanations for a situation and choosing not to rush to conclusions. This isn’t about being overly cautious or passive - it’s about showing respect. It’s about letting people live their lives without outsiders treating their guesses like hard facts.

I think if more people took this approach, fandom spaces and public discourse would be a lot less toxic. It became so toxic for me that at one point I had to step away, because of he vile anonymous asks I was getting. It’s entirely possible to have thoughtful, respectful conversations without falling into the “I’m right, and you’re wrong” trap. A little humility, and a lot more recognition that things are often more complicated than they seem, could really make a difference.

At the end of the day, none of us have all the answers -and that’s fine. What’s not fine is turning speculation into fact or stirring up drama when it isn’t necessary. So, can we be more mindful, respectful, and take a step back from the impulse to turn every guess into something?

If you see a take that isn't damaging, you don’t need to respond just because you don’t agree with it. You can let people have their own perspectives without degrading others. That said, I have no respect for speculation when it comes to matters that are too personal or just downright mean, especially when people try to act like it isn’t. Some things shouldn't be speculated on, and treating them as public fodder isn’t just disrespectful - it’s harmful.

Life’s complicated enough without us making it harder than it already is.

[smoshsfavoritepizzaplace]

Can I give an unpopular opinion?

I'm starting to resent Smosh Twitter and it has been boiling over for quite some time now.

There have been quite a few incidents that come to mind...

The excessive Damien slander - God forbid he exists. I know he had that moment with a fan on Twitter, but he did apologize and some people can't let that go. Some have even resulted into mocking his appearance because of it or because of some drama with people within his Twitch fanbase. So, making jokes about his personality and appearance is ok, given a fan of his insulted u? How and why?

The possessiveness over Court and Shayne's relationship and misunderstanding of parasocial - I think we can all agree we are over the moon for them, right? That we want what's best for them? So, why do some continue to act like de facto overseers of their marriage/lives?

Don't get me wrong, we should continue to police toxicity like what has been going on lately. We shouldn't be speaking on their behalf unless stated otherwise. If they've said something in a video, i.e. Court stating she didn't want to be seen as just Shayne's wife, then carry on as per usual. But, I have seen it recently amongst the Court pregnancy fiasco, that some people are undermining Shayne's feelings and are instantaneously shutting it down. And if I'm being quite frank it pisses me off.

Those that are bringing up Shayne aren't trying to disregard Court's feelings or quote on quote "make it about him". It's his wife after all and this could take a toll on his mental health when he doesn't condone these things nor perpetuate them and it is deliberately affecting his partner.

Nevertheless I have seen people go on the defensive and say this is why they kept their relationship private, don't be parasocial!

NO, quite the contrary actually, they kept their relationship private for safety reasons because of prior stalking incidents. Not to mention IT'S THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND WHATEVER THEY CHOOSE TO SHARE IS A PRIVILEGE, NOT AN OBLIGATION!

Would these same people say that to him if he decided to post something in return? He shouldn't have to say anything, obviously anything regarding his wife's autonomy🤦‍♂️

The only other note of mention is all the polyamory quips. Now this is parasocial when all the usual suspects involved are either married or dating, let alone someone who works with them!

An example I've seen quite often👇

They're looking at Amanda/Arasha, they've got their heart eyes in! I understand heart eyes are not conditional, but if they look at Shayne the same, we go back to people clamoring everything isn't about him. For crying out loud it's their husband at the end of the day, what do people want?

The Hypocrisy - In general there's just so many double standards and it is beyond tiring.

X has been here longer...

I don't like X and I don't care if they see all my tweets bashing them!

It just becomes an echo chamber after a while.

The worst being the objectification and sexualization of cast and crew.

Recently, I saw a disgusting tweet where someone talked about all the sexual acts they'd like to do to both Angela and Amanda. WTF?

It gets worse, people liked it and reposted it! Some of which are those who are quick to chastise others for doing it, I guess as long as you don't post it yourself🤷‍♂️

I understand that a lot of people at Smosh are attractive and you'd like to let that be know/share it with fellow fans, but there are lines that you shouldn't cross, especially doing it on MAIN!

Sorry this was so long winded, but I just wanted to get this out of my mind. I honestly can't stand the fandom over there on Twitter anymore. There are some great people over there, but it feels very high school like and I'm not fond of that whatsoever.

✌

Yeah Twitter is pretty bad. I use it a fair amount for the most part but it comes to a point where I’ll see a tweet and I’m like “okay, that’s enough of this app today.” I’ve spoken about the shourtney stuff a bunch so I won’t comment on that specifically, but the Damien/angela/amanda thing you mentioned is absolutely terrible. Shayne once said something that stuck with me, I don’t remember exactly what vid he said it in, but he said something along the lines of “don’t make fun of physical attributes of people you don’t like bc they’re not the only ones with those features, you can make other people feel insecure that didn’t to anything to you.” That’s not exactly what he’s said, but it’s relatively close. It’s fine if you don’t like Damien, you don’t have to, but don’t sit here and make fun of him every time he breathes. Even if it’s a “joke” or “trolling,” it’s still wrong bc he’s still a person and most likely sees the things being said. Also, did you say “Recently, I saw a disgusting tweet where someone talked about all the sexual acts they'd like to do to both Angela and Amanda.”???!? WHAT?!? That’s so gross, that person needs to be banned immediately. Both women are very pretty and I have a crush on them myself, but I would NEVER say anything remotely like that. Is it so hard for people to just say they think someone is attractive? It’s genuinely so insane to me that I’m lost for words…