#so i wanted to finish this piece to vent
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#ive been in some emotional turmoil the past few weeks and its been hitting hard#so i wanted to finish this piece to vent#my art#a#illustration
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one piece is crazy fr like what do you mean you’re following up Everyone’s Dead™️ with Objectifying Women: The Arc™️
#bruh :/#im bout to vent cause im mad about it rn sorry#op fans there are many good elements to your series outside of this and i love u sorry im about to talk shit about it#pls abandon ship now and stop reading my tags to avoid if you want#anyway#once i put a certain amount of time into something i usually commit to finishing it#but this arc is like 👌 this close to making me abandon the whole series like wtf is this#i know i KNOW sexist shit is like practically unavoidable in anime but this is a LOT jesus christ#i want to punch a WALL#like wtf do you think women ARE#i want to attack and kill#everyone who has ever told me that naruto is worse than one piece about women owes me 500 dollars rn#like it’s BAD and i would have been mad about this either way#but i think im extra salty because ive had SO many people praise one piece women at me#and i was like doubtful cause ya know LOOK at them#but i LISTENED because everyone was so insistent the women are good and it’s not bad with that kinda thing#which was a BETRAYAL because seriously wtf is this😤#ughhhhh i CANT watch this HOW am i supposed to watch this#why do i have to watch the creepy island of women cluelessly mess with unconscious mans dick trope i canttttttttt#the answer is i DONT have to watch it and i want to STOP#how are yall watching this i still havent even forgiven thriller barks invisible man nami bath scene#like yall i canttttttttt#my ‘fiction that treats women like shit’ tolerance is too low for this#ughhh really at a loss here because so much time already committed and i was enjoying it aside from this#but i really CANNOT keep watching if the bar gets any lower and idk if it even CAN get lower#sorry sorry okay vent over this just#REALLY pissed me off#cause it kinda blindsided me i think
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hand on my stupid heart flashbacks
this is a No One Knows AU & Full Hazmat AU where Danny ended up in the Ghost Zone & didn't go back into the human world initially because he thought he was dead. by the time he realized he is, in fact, at least half alive, he'd already been missing for at least 2 weeks. will probs never finish homsh sorry. i wrote this a couple years ago in a haze & just haven't been able to finish it because i can't replicate the style, which i find is what i love about this fic the most. it wouldn't be the same without it. posting the flashback introsーwhich are meant to be read between chapters/the actual plot, starting after chapter 1ーcuz fuck it. excuse typos & shit, i never properly edited it, as i forgot it existed immediately after i wrote it original description of homsh: Danny Fenton has officially been missing for over a year. Maddie & Jack Fenton refuse to give up on their son. Sick and tired of the police running them in circles, and the case getting colder by the day, the Fentons turn to their last resortーPhantom. 800~ words (full unfinished fic is 20k~)
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When Danny woke up surrounded by thick, green fog, and couldn’t breathe without swallowing heavy air that was more like water than anything, he was sure he was dead. The portal glowed behind him, illuminating the pitch darkness around him in soft, yellow, warm light.
He almost went back.
Almost.
He was dead. His parents were ghost hunters. They had drilled into his head from the moment he was born that he could never, ever panic in death. That he would accept it. That he would not be scared. So he would be prepared to be brave in the face of death and would not become a ghost.
He panicked. He did not accept it. He was terrified. And so he woke up in the Ghost Zone.
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Danny went back through the portal when he saw some ectopuses acting… strange. Like they had an idea in their heads. Like they had a plan.
Which was weird, with animal ghosts. He had only been in the Ghost Zoneーmom and dad called it that, he rememberedーfor a couple weeks. Or, he had already been there for two weeks. Or maybe time worked differently and he was there five minutes, or four years orー
The ectopuses went through the portal and, despite everything, Danny went after them.
While he was busy reeling at being home, the ectopuses immediately attacked dad. Danny was horrified. Jack was overwhelmed. Danny stepped in, in a moment fueled by sheer adrenaline and stupidity, snatching a Fenton Thermos™ off a shelf and releasing his shaky invisibility. The ectopuses didn’t stand a chance. And when they were safely in the Thermos, he slowly turned around to dad, ready for the confrontation. Ready for the “what happened to you?” and the “where have you been?” and the “we’ve missed you”.
Dad scrambled to shoot at him.
Danny fled.
His parents didn’t recognize him.
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The Lunch Lady attacked when Danny was mourning Halloween.
He’d waited all year. He made a costume that summer. He wouldn’t get to go trick or treating with Sam and Tucker this year. Or any year. For the rest of his lifeーor existence. Whatever.
The Lunch Lady appeared in the school and demanded in straight fury, “Who changed the menu?”
Everyone pointed at Sam.
Danny hadn’t known just how powerful ghosts could be. His parents never told him the specifics. Just that they were dangerous.
This ghost grew and her aura hit him like a hurricane, almost physically pushing him back. It was so strong that the students in the Casper High cafeteria seemed to feel it too.
The Lunch Lady was a much harder opponent than the ectopuses. She levitated meat. She used it as a weapon, and seemed to bring it back to life. She created weird meat creatures that grew sharp teeth and claws out of bones. They were mindless, attacking everything that got too close to the ghost. Danny would have run away without hesitation, if Sam hadn’t been in the crossfire.
Danny fought the Lunch Lady. It was a long struggle, but he caught her in the thermos after over an hour. When he turned to Sam and Tuckerーboth of whom he had to save due to Tucker trying to jump into the fightーall three of them bloody and bruised, he cringed. But a part of him hoped. Desperately.
Surely they would know him on sight.
“Wh-what are you?” Sam gasped at him finally.
Danny flinched as if she had struck him. “J-just… your friendly neighbourhood phantom.”
-
Danny didn’t know what possessed him. Oh. Pun not intended.
He just barely caught the Fentons leaving in the GAV, dragging suitcases behind them. He couldn’t help himself. What on Earth were they doing?
They were going to Vlad Master’s mansion for their college reunion.
It was a whole thing. But something was off. Besides all the adults reminiscing about the 80’s.
Danny sensed ghosts immediately but he couldn’t see anything. Unfortunately for him, Vlad could also sense him. It was two days of Danny staying invisible, and Vladーthe halfa? Is that what Danny is?ーtrying to kill Jack. Somehow, Danny managed to fight off Vlad, not turn back, and without the Fentons getting hurt. His secret intact.
VladーPlasmius, also learned about Phantom. And Vlad hated him. The manーghostーwhatever, seemed to only care about one thingーpossession. Of money. Of things. Of people. He was more ghost than Danny had ever seen. Vlad’s obsession was overwhelming.
Danny couldn’t believe someone so much like himself could be so disturbing.
#danny phantom#danny phantom au#danny phantom fanfiction#you know that gif of the wailing emoji dissolving? :Why:?#yeah that's what i do every time i remember i never finished HOMSH while i still had the style in my brain#feel free to steal this idea. please steal this idea. please write it i wanna see this idea so bad but im already writing another 100k+ fic#if y'all want me to post the full fic i can but. it is not finished & most likely never will be. sorry again#i won't lie. the haze i was in was a depressed one. i was. not in a good place At All when i wrote HOMSH#like the only part i remember actually writing was the panic attack scene & that's just barely#i reread the whole fic in the middle of the night months later while listening to Implode Alright by Built by Snow on repeat#yeah i cried. this one is funny but mostly it's just. mourning. grief. the works. it's a vent fic & also a. kind of. wishful fic#like. don't you just wish death wasn't so permanent. don't you wish you could tell them everything you wish you could#don't you wish you could just see them again#i'm actually writing this into a bigger ventier series currently called Let Grief Do Its Work#cuz i rewatched LUCIDS again recently & remembered what HOMSH was originally about. why i was writing it#i'm not calling it HOMSH cuz. HOMSHie is my baby. it's its own thing & i don't wanna ruin the vibes#reluctantly admitting i call an unfinished fanfic i don't remember writing... HOMSHie baby... in my head#yeah i have a cute nickname for my fic. what of it#it's 5am & i think i'll throw up if i think any more about posting unfinished unedited pieces of a fic so i'm going for it. cowabunga#go into the world. get your 2 notes you beautiful animal#*passes out*
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All my art feels dumb and cringe lately :(
#I don't know whats wrong#when I finish a piece I feel dumb for even bothering#EVEN THOUGH what I want to do every night is draw#I skip playing games and shit so i have more time to draw#I'm drawing things I want to draw...#but I feel lonely and alone maybe cause I don't draw anything anyone has any reaction to...#VENT#sorry for venting
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whoever cursed me I'd like to to be reversed as soon as possible
#vent#I got nothing done today#sure I cut a piece of fabric but I did nothing with it#I just want all the cutting to be done and over with so I could get to trying it on and sewing it and decorating it#this is also stressing the fuck out of me because I have until friday to finish this shit#and also the monthly bullshit is going to run my mental health down to nothing#it's great I love it#I love it when every time I try to work on this damn project shit goes wrong and I get nothing done#I'm gonna draw for the rest of the night fuck that
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feverishly telling myself that everyone grows at their own pace while seeing yet another 13 year old with beautiful sistene chapel worthy art skills and looking back at the bland horribly drawn unappealing genuinely fucking worthless pieces of trash in my sketchbook and desperately trying to convince myself that I don’t want to quit drawing and that I do still like it and that bad art is still art (it’s not when I do it)
#actual sugar post#sorry I just. Genuinely sometimes I want to never draw again#I’ve been genuinely considering quitting making art because#I just can’t make anything that’s worth anything honestly#there are pieces that are technical achievements that get every fundamental right#there are pieces with unique styles that are genuinely interesting#there are pieces that have something to say#not only is my work technically bad but. It’s boring. I’m not creating anything beautiful or interesting or original#my work is boring and so am I. I don’t even have motivation to create anymore. I force myself to shit stuff out and take weeks to finish it#I’m gonna be an adult soon. I don’t deserve to draw if this is all I can make#I don’t even deserve to be alive. I contribute nothing to this world#I am a parasite#idk#vent#delete later
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good morning this alhaitham piece is killing me
#i have 6000 words left to edit#._.#bf and kitty are both sleeping beside me#tw vent#i feel kinda sad today but it’s alright i’m gonna get through it#once i finish this piece i’m going to try and put more effort into being more active in the community#i miss having friends LOL#i have like two friends on this site#the thought of putting myself out there again genuinely fills me with so much panic#but i know that if i continue to allow it to scare me then it’ll signal to my brain that it IS something to be afraid of#which like#it technically isn’t#i want to believe in the good of people and see the good in people and give everyone the benefit of the doubt#i shouldn’t have to suffer just because one person turned out to be super shitty#anyway~ sorry for this#ugh being vulnerable on main ick#i feel like touya nii LMAOOOOO#like ew what i’m being vulnerable IN PUBLIC????????? oh god#but moving on#please have a lovely wednesday today <3#i might get sushi!!!!!#clari chatters
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ill never be good enough at anything
#vent#events of today only proved it#im genuinely so close to giving up completely#i dont feel happy when I draw because I know its not good enough and im ashamed when others see it because I know they think the same thing#I dont feel satisfied or accomplished when finishing schoolwork because I know others will have done it better and responded better and im#the stupidest person of the entire class. some things I just dont understand but I know everyone else or lots of others did#i cant do anything right. i cant socialize correctly. i cant remember to do anything. i cant keep any stable relationships#i know if i get a job they'll ly me off or fire me within days max weeks. i dont expect to be able to hold down a job for long#i dont have the skills necessary to become what I want to be which is a meteorologist. i struggle in math and that career is a lot of math#i actually want to be an artist too but ill die a lonely death. i cant even do this class. and artists are not paid enough to survive#hell what I do right now with art in my spare time is much worse than others. a mouse and microsoft paint. both arent good enough#i cant not compare myself to others. i know that they're all better than me. and im around these people every day and see it on social medi#i really want to put my art in our shredder and permanently delete files. i want to drop out. i dont know what to do with myself because i#know that im not good enough for anything except lay in bed like the depressed piece of shit i am and end up getting kicked out#i thought about just leaving class today and throwing myself down the stairwell from the top floor i was already on#just over the barrier thats right next to the first flight of stairs that prevents people from falling off the stairs from a height#the one you can look down and see the following flight of stairs. just throw myself down from that and hurt myself significantly.#ive been thinking about jumping again. from a new part of campus thats higher than where i initially wanted to fall from#if not those then sl!t my wrist or run into traffic#i just need to d!e. There's no room for someone as worthless as me#i cried when I came home today because im just done. i cant carry on and itd be better if i didnt. itd be preferred.
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I can't wait to get a stable income man I want to get out of my hobo era so bad
#personal#i know i love drawing but its so easy to be burnt out when i take it as a job#and no drawing = no income#im like. crawling at a snail's pace with it#but i have to say as soon as im finished with my zine pieces i can finally focus more on commissions and my actual jobs#when i applied for it i didnt know id be this busy...#i want to get paid... i need the money... im so tired of wearing torn out clothes AUGH i need new shirts#vent
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it's paste where he shouldn't be o'clock. sir you had to parkour to the top of the fridge and then across all my cabinets to get there. why.
#also just gonna use the tags to vent for a second but good GOD is this currnt bit of writers block incredibly poorly timed#I mean there's never really a good time to have writers block but I need to finish a piece for the fe3h femslash exchange by next week#and I'm only a few hundred words into it#and I dont wanna let this person down but I feel like nothing I've written for it has been very good so!!!! AHHHHH!!#and my dad's coming this weekend and my cats probabaly have fuckin fleas#I have to edit 2 podcast episodes this week each nearly 2 hours long#like this is not a good week to be me#and like I want to create!!! very badly!!! I feel like a tiger stalking its cage#and I cannot do everything I need to do right now. so instead I will walk to the kitchen and get some water#then I am going to sit down and complete one work task that is purely word vomit#then I am going to go to sleep and try again tomorrow#because that is what tomorrow is for
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the u.s academic system is deeply fucked up in several ways and also i have autism
#ray's tag#keys' art#yeah this is a vent piece. you're free to like reblog share whatever#if we weren't comfortable with sharing it or having it reblogged trust me wed let yall know#i'm just. Under a lot of stress rn and we're gonna get a shower soon so that should help but#i have several months' worth of geometry work due and we're doing it really slowly and we just started#and we have like. two weeks left in the term.#we CAN extend the deadline till may and finish the second half during the summer but like#i dont wantto do that. i dont want to work during the summer.#its probably our only option though#i doodled this in like ten minutes while waiting for the shower to heat up i should. Probably get in before it runs cold#i'll add an id to this later#h#vent
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what do u MEAN I have to practice drawing backgrounds….
#AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#I have NO creativity when it comes to backgrounds. the fuck do I draw!!!!#but I think that’s what’s upsetting me about my art currently#it’s not like. all put together#and backgrounds bring an entire piece together!!!#and I just need to practice anatomy some more tooooo ughhhhhhh. + change my style a bit#I’m working on an AF attack w/ multiple characters and 😓😓😓#I wanna finish ittttttttt. but I wanna be better at ART first and backgrounds. but alas#I want to start taking more time on my art too but I’m so impatient lol <\3#vent#kinda. idk I’m always venting about the same shit here#I need to YouTube. but I’m soooooooooo impatient again I’ll watch like five minutes and go ok I’m good I’ll figure this shit out myself#I need to like psych myself into relaxing n being chill n reminding myself I got time#😞😞😞😞😞😔😔😔😔😔😔😰😰😰😢😭😭😭😭😭#I’m being a big baby huuuwahhhhhhhhhhhh 😣😣😣😖#I have a piece I like with a decent background I’m gonna actually draw soon and not just have the sketch#and I’m gonna FORCE myself to take my TIME. and do DETAILS and shit. terrifying but I can do it#‘a decent background’ it’s just a square background but BUT. with like. uhhh patterns#and it all goes together and it’s nice so I like it!!!!#actual backgrounds tho……. oof!#N MY IMPATIENCE IS NOT TIKTOK BRAIN OR WHATEVER PPL R SAYING THESE DAYS. I GOT ADHD I CANT FOCUS ON SHIT WITHOUT HAVING 5 OTHER THINGS#HAPPENINF AT THE SAME TIME#but to learn I gotta like. do one thing???? the entire time? and that ONLY??? 😧
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>:|
#tw caps#tw vent#(all /lh I’m just in a pissy melodramatic mood don’t mind me)#AARRRSTMMMFLSLFKWHRDJ#*yelling screaming into the abyss*#life has been giving me one thing after another huh#first writers block for months- haven’t been able to finish my fics#Christmas burnout was like ‘heyyyyy bitchhhh’#tumble keeps eating my posts and my engagements on posts and rbs and activity has dipped#family health issues causing us to be constantly at this bloody farmhouse with no wifi and just grumpy#had a death(from said health issues) in the family a few days ago so can’t go home yet#also emotionally stressed#AND NOW IM ILL#WHY#FOR GOODNESS SAKE I JUST WANT TO DRAW MY LIL GAYS BEING HAPPY#AAAAGHHHHHH#*screaming continues*#but anyway. I’m all good. just. 👍#GOOD NEWS: I have a new piece for a new au for you guys and I’m pretty happy with it-#THAT IS IF TUMBLR DOESNT EAT IT#(friendly reminder that I see your reblogs and they make my day so those who actually still rb my art that I put my entire soul into ily <3#standing in my room like 🧍🏻♀️ while typing this#god my brain feels like it’s been put through a blender
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:c
#original entry#im going to vent about art stuff#so feel free to skip this#so im frustrated bc drawing has been so hard for me this past year and if yall couldnt tell im not really making any art definitely not post#ing it. im aware its one of those things thatll only get worse the less i do it bc PRACTICE IS IMPORTANT#but my life this past year has been all over the place and so i havent had time and really no motivation#however i have a few commissions from december i still havent finished#and i feel HORRIBLE that its taken me so long#but some of these pieces. one in particular i have to pretty much redraw every time i come back to it bc its just giving me so many problems#(this isnt the fault of the commissioner lemme just go ahead and say that now)#i WANT to work on it and i work on it for hours but theres no progress bc ive just erased and redrawn things that whole time but something#STILL always looks off and it makes me so frustrated and i want to cry#and so im frustrated but i feel so guilty bc its been such a long time and so often when i do come back to it i just wanna give up and refun#d them. bc it isnt enjoyable anymore#it isnt enjoyable and given how much time ive already spent struggling its really not worth the money. especially bc my comms were half pric#e when i got all these comms (which is WHY i got all these comms)#so i feel like i devalued my self a little and i definitely spread myself way too thin bc i got like 6 commissions in one night or smth like#that. but i feel so guilty giving up!! this persons been WAITING for this!!!#idk yall i didnt want to cry so i stopped working on it but im SO frustrated and dont know what to do
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“Oh Charlie, you’re exactly the shape that a boy should be.”
#dad#mine#denrhys rees#yes this was originally a vent piece#can’t be fucked to finish it but it’s kind of pretty and i wanted to post it#crawling out of my self imposed isolation just to post this and dip#my teeth aren’t biblically accurate sorry folks#i wanna walk in the snow and not leave a footprint yk#this is so cringe lmaoooooo
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#ughhhhh i was gonna post my wip for todays prompt. but i wasnt feeling it to rush that wip#so i started writing another piece with a diff pairing and i love the first section i wrote#but i want to write sM UT AND THE SCENE I ORIGINALLY PLANNED WAS REALLY FUCKED UP NOW THAT I WROTE THIS CUTE SHIT#i dunno if i wanna just post that as one chapter and then continue it later#or if i want to continue it at all#so now im gonna really quickly try to draw something else in the 3 hours i have left lmao#fuck man ughhhh hdhsghsvsjsjdb#i really went all out on this new thing like mirroring a scene from something else i really love#just ugHhhhHHHHHH#i shouldve just worked on the original wip and dealt with the consequences of rushing the juicy part#delete later / /#vent#Cori.exe#Post.exe#if i cant finish a drawing before midnight im going to just late post the new bit i wrote#ill just warn ppl the next chapter/s are gonna be fucked up
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