#so i wanna start something else...
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#stay strong stay strong stay strong!!!!#im trying So hard not to start reading another book rn because#1. it is 1am. go to bed#2. (the bigger reason) i am in the middle of this other book and once i start a new one... its over#like the other book will not stand a chance#whenever i pause reading a book i almost never go back to it and this book is already at a disadvantage because its a literary book#and i tend to struggle with those more because my brain is fricking fantasy wired#anyways i dont wanna read that rn because im kinda bored of it now but im so used to reading to go to sleep...#so i wanna start something else...#but that is literally the worst idea because of what i hath stated as above#will go back to trying a podcast or something s o s#le text post
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you open my Super Important Documents and its just pictures of charles xavier
#xmen#mcu#xmen movies#xmen first class#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#todays schedule has been ruined by my ever occurring need to practice drawing movie charles its horrendous#i started this sheet last night but then i kept adding to it and i keep wanting to add to it but i MUST stop myself#in an ideal world i get paid to draw charles xavier and erik lehnsherr but no i live in this baka society#sleepless charles WAS inspired by me starting this at 1AM and forcing myself to sleep at 4AM#and then here i am picking i up still later .... i need professional help i fear but i aint got time for that#NEVERTHELESS I THINK IT GOT IT NOW. I THINK IM OK. i think i know how i wanna go bout drawing him now ...#chat can i confess that like. .5% of the reason i barely draw FC charles i because of his hair#for some reason some demonic entity prevents me from drawing it easily i am in STRUGGLE CITY#the only thing that gets me is that whenever i draw him i can only think of the likes of a disney prince but man thems the strokes ig#i also drew a quick dark phoenix charles but i figured id just keep this first class oriented#anything else i want to say ? uh. hm. its funny i never do any of these sheets for erik#genuinely On My Life made One (1) sheet and was like 'no yeah i got it. i got it down'#literally not my fault his head is So Shaped and defined but anyways. this aint about him.#i mean it could be. i still wanna do a doodle page concentrated on drawing how his powers show#more specifically how do i wanna draw the glow cause i cant decide on it ... also i wanna draw the 'levels' ...#but thats for another time. for right now i should probably eat i havent eaten all day#bye bye !!!!!! here's to hoping i draw something thats not a doodle sheet one of these days
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how am i meant to ha wahoo yippee through life in these conditions
#vu talks shit#in this past week i have#gone to urgent care without insurance#paid about half my bills#been reminded that i still owe someone another near 200 for a trip i leave for in TWO DAYS#AND i paid for a rental space for something that i am ADMITTEDLY VERY HAPPY ABOUT BUT STILL SO BROKE NOW#and i have done ZERO grocery shopping#and im not sure i have the money to do grocery shopping right now#but im scared to look at my bank account after shelling out nearly 1k on everything else#AND i have to take my cat back to the vet soon cause she's starting to have asthma attacks again#i need to put everything new in my shop and put shit up for pre order cause i got charms im working on#but mAn i just#cannot afford the distractions rn#vent#AAAAAAAAAAUGH#i didnt wanna put that but i am stressing in the tags now
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Torn apart. Inspired by Romeo and Juliet by Sergio Cupido
#rdr2#morston#john marston#arthur morgan#red dead redemption 2#rdr#red dead redemption#arthur/john#john/arthur#morstonmonday#morston monday#hewo! happy to be here for another monday with you guys hehe#ALSO i wanna say. someone else did a redraw of them as this painting before kjhfgk#i had no idea and only saw it after i already started the wip#JUST KNOW ITS NOT LIKE. ORIGINAL AT ALL I JUST;;; HAVE LOTS OF THOUGHTS + EMOTIONS#but yeah idk if the many disembodied dutch hands keeping them apart makes sense to anyone but me#but like something something that man's actions ultimately were what tore them apart#as well as growing up under his care/influence inevitably created the wedge in between them#as well as the perceived rivalry over whos the favorite son or whatever#and then in more fucky terms. i like to imagine he was fucking them both and preventing them from doing the same with one another :)#something something that wouldn't be right but i know better so it's different with me#or whatever#sorry to spew my dutch grooming agenda all over you guys on this good monday. it will happen again#ANYWAY#again hope this resonates with anyone other than me lol#my art
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I met the me who made different choices
#idk what this means so dont ask#got the words stuck in my head and this is what I wanted to draw for it immediately#me at my desk. so.#I dont look exactly like this obviously. doesnt matter. anyways#hard time recently in a lot of different ways#lots of work to do!#given up on getting everything done I kind of failed at that. it was too much#so now I'm just trying to get anything done that will make the next 6 months not kill me again#ideally. 3 episodes. or the book#or like at least close enough to that that its basically that#I'm feeling really screwed LOL#I dont know how I've been working every day for so long and still havent done enough...#(its because the work load is way too much)#every time I take 1 hour for myself. to cook. or clean. or draw something else. or play a game. I feel so guilty auauau#I hate webtoon I hate this damn green app...#DOESNT MATTER!!!#what DOES matter is my art is good as hell... look at this shit...#the light. the colors. I love you red I love you green#I need to get more red pants I only have the one pair.#I saw this guy with red pants that had skeleton legs on them and I was like FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!! I need them!!!!#I need to start sewing again. I dont have a sewing machine cause my apartment is too small so I havent sewn in years but I really want to..#I want to make clothes again... I need some vests I need some dresses..#I will not make pants or sleeved shirts because I dont hate myself#sketch#art#vent art I guess LMFAO its not#its just this fun little thing we like to call self expression#also this isnt how my desk setup actually is I scooted things around cause I didnt wanna draw anything twice. fuck it we ball#ok back to work
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While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.
Bye.
#ask me#anon#once AGAIN.#I am not dropping anything#the au is not getting cancelled. more than likely i'm gonna take a break from it until i find motivation again#But I've been drawing the AU for half a fucking year#In that time I've only drawn 5 things that aren't mlp related#I'm getting tired and my last few posts didn't do as well as I'd hoped#And I'm not about to burn myself out on mlp au art even if I really do love making it#I'm still gonna make comics. I have a bunch of ideas.#Tulli and I still wanna do the limited run merch shop#Discord is still coming. Sunset is still coming. Sombra is still coming. I have so many ideas#But I need to do something else for my own sake. Did you know I was supposed to get the background 6 designs done by now#But I didn't because I'm TIRED#I've been keeping myself on a schedule to keep content pumping despite travel and school and family and I'm tired#what i'm getting isn't matching what i'm giving and that's nobody's fault. i'm not frustrated at anyone. a slump was bound to happen#drawing the au was fun until it become my Thing. Because when your Thing––your identity––starts to faulter#it can really make you freak out#And that's not healthy for the project or for myself. I need to find the fun again and I'm sure I will#I'm really appreciative of everyone's support in my inbox and replies it really does mean a lot especially given that about 2/3 of my#followers followed for mlp. But if you're gonna react to me saying “i'm gonna cool down on mlp art and draw my own stuff” with “i'm#disappointed in you." then Leave! I think it's good you're unfollowing#you are not obligated to stick by my side! But don't act like I'm doing you a disservice by turning my attention elsewhere#I didn't promise anyone anything and I definitely didn't say I'm breaking any promises.
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remembered @hehe-hoho-ohno's misfits au it's sooooo good and i love it. CHEERS AND APPLAUSE. YAY
#submas#misfits au#<- it gets it own tag i might draw more. it's good#sketches#(if you want me to tag as something else lmk though i don't wanna encroach on your guys or anything)#BUT ANYWAYS. best fucking submas writer ON the planet the characterization is sooooo good to me. chefs kiss#like generally i'm not big into aus at ALL (especially ones that aren't super related to the source material and world)#but the worldbuilding is so interesting and the characterizations of ingo and emmet are sooo fantastic like genuinely phenomenal#in all of their works#I LIKE IT BASICALLY.#i wanted to do a scene redraw but i couldn't pick and because so much of what captivates me is the like. it's very emotionally driven#that a little more to me than the physicality of the scenes is what i like so much. so idk if i could do it justice LMAO#i've been following the story since it started being posted and it's just really good. probably my favourite submas fic#the author posted another chapter 7 wip today SPECIFICALLY for me 💖(<- not actually)
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one string is all that I need
#Hatsune Miku#VOCALOID#or rather#piapro characters#Hatsune Miku Single String Ver.#<- yep that's the fan module I made for fun last year#the thing is. only half a month to go until it's mid autumn. and every year I try to draw something for the occasion#I just. started early this year... for some reason......#well I mostly just wanna draw Her lmao. because the pokemon/miku voltage stuff is still being released and Im feelin the effect#and this year's magical miral design is so fuckign good.... thank u to miku artists. especially LAM and rella#as is always the case with this module the instrument/weapon (lol) she uses is a heavily stylized đàn bầu!#and I just realized while drawing this and looking at the ref sheets that I never detailed the pluck lmao#to be fair. usually its just like a piece of. anything#commonly bamboo or bone or plastic. shaped into a longish fingernail shape. its really the way u hold it that matters iirc#but yeah I spruced up the OG design for the instrument in this one lol. this is actually like my original vision I think#I really wanted to make that thing beast shaped. but I Just figured out how to properly stylize it when I designed the module#and! I did say this on stream but I am genuinely very proud of that design! that was genuinely big brain of me! so#future instrument variants will still probably base heavily on that general shape and principles lol. I'm playin in this space its MY muck#also I switched the number on her coat from 39 to 01 bc it's more on theme thats really it. nothin else to remark on there lol#and! once again based the dragon head on the lý dynasty dragon rather than later iterations. thats why the nose fin and no whiskers#and the metal nozzle is kinda supposed to call to mind a temple bell. not super sure i got that across well#but the rim design IS historical! I thiiiink early lê dynasty. just on ceramics instead of on bronze lmao#anyways thats it. I had fun colorin this one! kicked my ass a bit but I think I hashed it out mostly okay#have a good night lads! thank u mid autumn moon cakes for being bad to eat and sponsoring my late night drawin. and remember:#u only need one. but never say having more doesn't make it easier
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the fact that the hanza spent yule eve & yule together always haunts me. especially around christmas time heh. they could have done anything else with their time and hung out with anybody else but instead they were like hey guys let’s sit around the kitchen table like we do every single morning and eat some food like we do everything single morning
#i get they had anxiety but#you guys don’t wanna do ANYTHING else besides hang out in the kitchen#i’m not dismayed i’m just impressed they loved each other that much#there is no one so interesting in beauclair to them besides each other?? based friendship#cahir you literally have TWO girlfriends#they were all together like guys. everyone else here is stupid and you (exhale) seem sane by comparison#that’s something milva would say begrudgingly… this city makes us seem normal#i do like the idea of them ending up together on coincidence#kind of like in the holiday episode of sitcoms where characters get their flights cancelled and their dates cancelled#so they all end up together like they all usually do and gather around for their normal table chatter#i think golden girls probably did this exact trope like more than ten times#and it is damn effective because we the audience see that shit and go omg they’re at their table#bonus points if they’re all very glum but then once they start talking and spending time together their mood improves#the elbow-high diaries
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Ohiwe (lady) and Ohime (man) aka the fire deity after they get punished.
Originally just "Oh", the fire deity had a bit too much fun with punishing humans and so in a means to stop them, the elder gods split them into two. So now they have to be together in order to have their "full" power but as before the split, they get restless and like to wander. So while one stays in their city, the other gets to go out and travel and see the world and check on the other deities.
Also, as a whole/singular being Oh would use they/them. After the split however, it's definitely not the same and so Ohiwe likes using female pronouns and Ohime uses male pronouns. That way when discussed as one, it's back to they. That feels best for them.
#my characters#i posted the unified base version to my side blog but they arent very exciting it was just a lil doodle#however as i sit here waiting for my throbbing headache to go away im dying squirtle i figured id try to doodle#before i work on the comm and unfortunately my head still hurts so back to medicine i go#also also ohime is much more mild in his commentary where ohiwe is sharp and harsh#and ohiwe is definitely more fond of running the city than ohime but that also means she gets more restless quicker#so he unfortunately is stuck in the city more than she is because she needs to wander#she still does most of the planning as she wanders and then talks it over with ohime when she returns#i wanna make a funny joke about how they are indeed the last two brain cells type of thing#but also they are on the same wavelength almost all the time cause they started as the same person#but its always a bit of a jump in their logic to other people while they remain on the same page#like ohiwe says something and YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS#and everyone else is like no ??? but ohime is like WE HAVE TO TAKE A NAP#or something and ohiwe is like exactly ! glad one of you in the room knows whats up
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I have run out of Sung Jinwoo/Woo Jinchul fics to consume. :(
#including that 300k fic y’all#idk what to do with myself#I wanna write one#it started off as a rewrite of another fic#then I diverged and the story is something else now#but I want to write#just to have more content#and to get back into writing ig#so I’ll stop feeling so empty#idk#solo leveling ao3#solo leveling#solo leveling fanfic#sung jin woo#woo jin chul#sung jin woo/woo jin chul#chulwoo#apparently that’s their ship name?#maybe I’ll jump back into ORV content#or jjk#or literally anything#maybe i should just put it here to encourage myself to keep going with it
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what could have fucking been am i right? i’ve been mostly silent today with everything going on because i didn’t feel like i really had anything to contribute. and i still don’t, except to ask what could have been? imagine all the season five moments we could have possibly still had but with the promise of canon buddie covering it all in a warm blanket. the look in 5.01. eddie having a panic attack and being called repressed. buck worrying about him and pushing him to break up with ana (how messy would that have been after we witnessed them have their feelings realization, buck wondering if he was telling him this for the right reasons). the balcony scene. eddie leaving the 118. “you need to move on, i have.” buck kissing lucy. buck breaking down the door. eddie apologizing for scaring chris (for scaring buck?). taking eddie to see charlie. reuniting at work in may day. eddie going to texas. taylor coming back for the jonah stuff but as a friend. “is that really love.” the henren wedding (a perfect moment for them to move further towards an actual relationship leading into season six). god and there’s so many other moments in season five alone that would have been colored differently if they’d only been able to tell the story the way they wanted to.
#this is a rambling mess#and i’m probably forgetting something major#i’m just so sad and angry#and in my mind we’d still get a bi buck storyline#probably not bucktommy but with someone(s) else#starting before the eddie/ana break up and continuing for at least a few episodes#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#i wanna teach you how forever feels#christine.txt
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favorite ghs artist also has a conlang ? my day is made ??
I even have multiple.
#My problem. I really wanna be a conlang nerd. However I am not very good at it yet. I want to be.#I am more an artist than anything else so when I make one my goal is: Looks nice. Consistent place names. Can be used on bg items.#And then I get tripped on all the beautiful complexities of grammar and start to get trapped in the indecisiveness mines.#Which is mostly a problem of ahhh so many choices to make#And then I get sad because IDK how to make something naturalistic when that isn't really important to my goals.#BUT WHATEVER!!! I can have fun.#funny talking tag
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some1 tell me something to write/draw
#vixen rambles#i need something 2 do so i dont start eating bricks#thing abt getting told i have hashimotos is. they are Refusing to treat it.#because i have 'nothing else going on'#i am UNABLE TO WALK WITHOUT PAIN#IM NOT EVEN 20#I AM WALKING WITH A CANE DAILY#like i can tell you now. its hypothyroid arthropathy. and fuckk man all i want is to GET RID OF IT#i wnana fucking run again i wanna hike i wanna climb stairs without pain#i want to have energy again i wanna play games i wanna work i wanna live#im so sick of being called a cripple#im so sick of my entire life being classes and my room i want to be a real person again#we're trying a different doctor thurdsay to see if i can get Any kind of help. i dont care if they take the whole thyroid out#i just wanna get rid of these symptoms#MY IMMUNE SYSTEM IS EATING MY THYROID#THE THYROID IS KIND OF. A DECENTLY VITAL ORGAN. YKNOW.#'DONT SEE A REASON TO KEEP SEEING ME' LORD#GOD#sorgy. im ok#i stay winning. im batman#this will all be over in a fwe months. but GODDDD
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thinking about immortal merlin going to a super famous artist who is known for having super lifelike paintings a few hundred years after arthur dies and telling them their story and having the artist paint arthur just by merlin’s descriptions instead of by a recreation with his magic and just reliving his life in camelot mentally while sitting on this artists couch as they bring arthur back to life for merlin
#like the artist is known for painting the gods in their likeness#painting something so real despite the fact that the muse is something of belief and faith#merlin walking in and asking for the artist to paint a god no one knows of anymore#the artist making a comment of the name arthur sounding like a man rather than a god#and merlin going ‘he is both to me’#merlin gets free therapy and a lifelike painting of his lost love#and the artist gets a heart wrenching love story and a bunch of money#win win#nothing else the artist paints afterwords ever lives up to their painting of arthur so they reach out to merlin#and merlin gets a bunch of portraits of everyone else from camelot#including his mother#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#angst#i saw sad tiktoks about them and started crying#i kinda wanna write this#i won’t but#it’s a nice thought
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I'll either succeed or I'll learn trying
#I wanna REMEMBER THIS!!!!!!!!#its helpful for me to keep in mind#not failing. learning#learning. learning makes failures into something worthwhile#grimacing as I repeat this to myself#text post#delete later#idk saying it cause it made me be like heh. nice#so idk might make someone else be like hm... nice#so LAMGOMSAGKLSAJGALKGJASLKGMSALKGJ#there is not much thought behind the things I post there's just not really much thought in general#honestly that is not true#I overthing everything. on account of the anxiety#but it's all good#speaking of the doc gave me an anti anxiety med on top of the adhd thing#so that's cool#seems to be working though..#she told me I could up the dose and I might do that in like a week if it feels like hrmm#I asked for all the instructions about starting stopping upping lowering or changing the time I take things#cause yknow. those things matter and I like to experiment to figure out whats best for me#this has nothing to do with the post#also they messed up my order again#i only got 180 books#bro theres 120 more#where are they#give me my books!!! please!!!!!!!1#I'll wait til tomorrow#its possible they just didnt fit on the truck. thats completely reasonable
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