#so i said fuck you and made a bunch of them

[paracosmicka]

Primal Fears AU content but don’t worry it’s still sonadow

That last one is a repost from last year so if you saw the silly drawings but then read the thing in the bottom left corner and went “wait what the fuck”

It’s because it was an AU thing but I literally only had that drawn out and now you get some context at least:

In this universe Sonic is an assassin/bounty hunter/whatever you wanna call a guy that is hired to specifically to kill other Entities. He meets Shadow when they run into each other because they’re both following the same Avatar. Then they do the normal canon sonadow thing where the first interaction they have always ends with them fighting and beating the shit out of each other. And then they kinda calm down but then Shadow has a similar moment from the beginning of the IDW Sonic comics where he gets absolutely pissed that Sonic managed to distract him from catching the bad guy and zooms away before the two have another chance to speak again.

Here Shadow is a GUN field agent except in this universe GUN isn’t really military and it’s more focused on not only investigating (like the Magnus Institute) but also actively dealing with the Entities. Which sounds great except remember how I said they aren’t military well actually they kinda are because “dealing” with Entities and Avatars just means: throw it in the high-security prison that is guarded by other various Avarars that all work for GUN because it means they don’t have to get thrown in prison. So GUN is kinda like The Magnus Institute + Section 31 working together. So actually I guess it’s like the SCP Foundation.

One day Shadow goes into work and Sonic and there and I’m not really sure on what I’m gonna do in the plot to make him end up there (like maybe he’s undercover and just using GUN to get to his next target or maybe GUN does the “hey we’re gonna throw you in jail if you don’t agree to work for us” idk again not sure yet) but now he’s working with Shadow because they still need to catch that Avatar.

So now we’re sorta caught up, they’re at Club Rouge (and I realized I didn’t specify which Entity she serves in my drawing of her but people who guessed the Stranger ding ding ding here have some sonadow) because Sonic and Shadow need to kinda interrogate Surge and Amy, who are associated with the Slaughter. They have a band called Poison Rose and it’s basically just Grifter’s Bone but they perform rock music instead. And are also probably dating.

Anyway the Big Case™️ Sonic and Shadow are working on is investigating a bunch of spooky murders and they’re pretty sure whoever’s behind them is a Slaughter avatar. But not specifically Amy and Surge☝️ They’re kinda “allowed” to perform the Music That Makes You Die because GUN also has like an “informant” group of avatars they can rely on. These avatars don’t work for GUN, but they agree to chill out on the spooky stuff if it means they don’t get arrested for spooky crimes. So for Poison Rose, “chilling out” on the spooky stuff means that they have to force people to wear earplugs while they perform, which wasn’t specifically stated in MAG 42 if that works or not, not really sure of the magic rules of the Music That Makes You Die phenomena but yeah they gotta do that and probably some other stuff so GUN doesn’t arrest them. Like maybe no swearing or something lol.

Okay gonna stop there before this gets even longer explaining my AU because this was supposed to be just a normal sketch post but whoops.

Oh also I made a playlist for the kind of music Poison Rose performs but it was made private because I didn’t want anyone to stumble across it and be like “pshhhh this dumb person who makes public playlists of their AU that no one knows about what a loser” (me when I make up completely unrealistic scenarios in my head) but now here’s a post explaining that part of my AU so that person can’t make fun of me anymore

[demonpoppyseed]

“I love making you whimper and whine,” Armand said. “So fucking pathetic for me.”

“Daniel?” Louis asked, brow creased with that facsimile of concern that always made Daniel suspect that this whole endeavor was nothing but pointless play acting. Daniel blinked rapidly.

“Uh,” he said. Armand was staring at him. Daniel looked quickly away from him and shook his head, trying to clear it.

“Haven't been sleeping,” Daniel said. He crossed his legs surreptitiously and cleared his throat. “You were saying something about –”

“The clubs we used to frequent in San Francisco,” Armand interjected. “Perfect hunting grounds. I'm sure you're familiar with them.”

“Yeah?” Daniel said, strategically casting his gaze somewhere to the right of Armand’s face. “You’re so sure I'd be familiar with the underground BDSM clubs in San Fran in the 70s?”

Louis bit back a laugh, looking away towards the windows in an effort to avoid breaking. Armand stared straight at Daniel, eyes bright and unblinking.

“Yes,” he said.

Daniel met his eye then, giving him a look over his glasses that lived somewhere between reproach and acquiescence.

“Fine,” he said, looking back down at his laptop. “If I remembered anything from the 70s I'd probably remember the underground BDSM clubs. But since my memory of my twenties is swiss cheese, you'll have to enlighten me.”

“They were wondrous things,” Louis said dreamily. “Melting pots of desire where a man could seek out the company of other men without drawing the least bit of attention, and a vampire was only another fantasy to covet. We were open about what we were in those days, in much the same way we had once been open at the Theatre des Vampire.”

“Yeah,” Daniel snorted. “Let them think the fangs are prosthetics, the biting’s a fetish thing. Sure. What do the kids call that these days? Informed consent?”

“Our victims craved death, Daniel,” Louis said. “They went down on their knees in the dark and begged for it.”

Aching knees on hard cement. Flashing, colored lights. The press of a crowd.

A boot hitting his stomach, hard enough to send him sprawling on his back, all the air forced from his lungs.

Pain.

“Please, Armand,” a voice mocked, high above. “Please, please, please! What is it you think you are begging for?”

“ – most ethical hunting I've ever done,” Armand said, laughing.

Daniel didn't bother trying to patch together what he'd missed. He didn't need to hear them praise themselves for killing a bunch of gay kids with leather fetishes and undiagnosed depressive disorders. It was only dumb luck that he hadn't been one of them.

“More than dumb luck,” Armand said.

“Stay out of my head,” Daniel shot back automatically. “Is there a point to this fun little side trip? Just wanna remind me that you fuck? Congratulations.”

His head was seriously aching. When had that started? He found it disconcerting, the way pain curled up in the corners of his body, never entirely gone, just waiting to stretch its legs and take up more space.

“I can fetch you some aspirin, if you like,” Armand said.

Daniel ignored him.

“Louis,” he said. “Where are we going with this?”

“Just giving you some context,” Louis said, shrugging. “What our lives had become by the time we met you that night at Polynesian Mary’s. We had, perhaps, thrown ourselves a little too enthusiastically into that world. Or at least, I had. Armand found it all a bit…”

“Distasteful,” Armand finished.

“You?” Daniel said skeptically, peering at him over the top of his glasses. “You found it distasteful.”

He glanced between the two of them. Then, suddenly, he laughed.

“Oh, I get it,” he said. He pointed at Louis, but directed his accusation at Armand. “He was putting out all over the city and you weren't getting any.”

Armand glared.

“Our relationship was… strained during those years,” Louis said, with the cadence of an admission, as if it weren’t obvious to anyone with eyes and a brain that their relationship had never not been strained.

“I think that's enough context. Don't you agree, mon amour?” Armand said with a strained smile.

Daniel grinned at him.

Gotcha.

Armand’s lips parted slightly. Daniel’s grin faltered.

“Perhaps,” Louis said, either oblivious or pretending to be, Daniel wasn't sure. He smiled ruefully at Daniel.

“I know I take advantage,” he said. “Sometimes I lose myself in the retelling, and forget that the point of this endeavor is not my catharsis.”

“I think we're pretty far past that at this point,” Daniel said. “But who fucking cares? Readers love catharsis. They get off on it.”

“Do you get off on it, Daniel?” Armand asked.

“Oookay,” Daniel said. “I think that's my cue to fuck off. You two can go ahead and dig up your marital issues without me. Trust me, I'm not gonna have any useful advice. I have what my daughters call a 100% divorce rate. You'd be better off having that bitchy hallucination of your ex as your marriage counselor.”

He glanced over Louis’s shoulder, just to fuck with him. The look of shock on Louis’s face made Daniel think he'd accidentally hit a bullseye. Jesus Christ.

He realized at that moment that he would now have to stand up. He glanced involuntarily at Armand and caught him smiling at him like a hungry cat.

He shut his laptop with a loud clack, stacked his notes on top of it, forcing himself not to hurry, and held the stack in front of his crotch as casually as he could as he made a beeline for his room, only barely restraining himself from running.

He needed a break. He needed to jerk off.

He needed Armand to take a long walk off a short volcanic rim.

As he gratefully neared his bedroom, a soft laugh fluttered in his mind.

That's not the sort of rim I was thinking of, Daniel.

Face hot, Daniel slammed the bedroom door behind him, dropped his laptop and notes on the bed, and hurried in the direction of the en suite shower, as if he could outrun the demon’s long fingers as they reached for his mind – those long, beautiful, elegant fingers that he ached to feel –

He closed his eyes and thumped his head against the tiled bathroom wall.

He was so fucking screwed.

[stars-n-spice]

Silly Squad 2nd Gen WIPS!

started on a little something something because I can't afford therapy to fix what s3 caused so-

Silly Squad families 10 years or so into the future :)

Find out more about the 'Silly Squad' here!

Star Wars said, "oh no sorry, the interracial poc couple can't be together" so I said fuck that!!! and made all of them poc/inter-species couples with mixed kids!! no i'm not biased at all.

Also, let's pretend that the clone aging thing isn't a,,, isn't a thing because 1) too much math and 2) too much angst potential.

Though it is funny to think about the clones with their fast aging and then their partners are all notoriously slow aging people ("black don't crack" and "asian don't raisin" sort of deal). You got this super old dude and then you look at their partner and they don't look a day over like 30.

No, I didn't cry while drawing this what the fuck are you talking about? Aha,, aha...ha...

Additional info about the families under the cut!

Starburst Family!

ok so since I've had Khea the longest, her family is the most thought out at this point

In order, from top, left to right: Itri (14/15), Marama 'Mara', Maia 'Mai' (both 10, 23 min apart), and Elio Nultez (7)

I made a post about them earlier so for more detailed info on their kids you can find it here!

Khea found Itri when she was about 4/5 years old and decided to take her in as a Foundling (she's also trans)

When Khea brought Itri back and showed her to Wrecker he was in complete shock (he thought she was Khea's biological daughter) but immediately took to the role as being a dad

Twins were an accident (oops) and an absolute handful but Khea and Wrecker wouldn't have it any other way

I saw a lot of people say that Wrecker would have a lot of kids and I agree, he's be a great dad (and he is!)

But pair that up with a Mandalorian wife? I'm sure both of them would adopt any and all kids that come their way

Not pictured is the twenty-something pets that their kids have adopted over the years - they could have a farm at this point

Sharpshooters Family!

I don't know where the idea came from but one day it randomly hit me how I wanted their family to be - but essentially after finishing s3 I knew Cross was just a girl dad through and through so I gave him a daughter

That's Akona and she's half Nautolan and half Pantoran! Oh and a HUGE menace!

Akon is eight and Cross found her when she was six

Since Pantorans have the yellow tattoos to mark their clans, Akona and Tay both got tattoos to represent Crosshair's, well, Crosshair tattoo since they're their own little clan

Tay also capped off his lethorns to prevent Akon from hurting herself and getting poked because she loves to climb all over him

Idk how they came across her but I'm thinking Cross decided to go out on a mission with Echo just this once and found her (and Tay was probably sick at home or something, idk)

Tay was super unsure about it (he's terrible with kids) but Crosshair assured him that things would be fine

And things are fine and better than ever :)

Scompscope Family!

I don't have names for these kiddos yet but I know I want them to be in tribute to Fives and Hevy!

So like,, I know technically Echo probably can't have kids and originally I was going to have them just adopt some clone cadets or something but uh,, me being biased I wanted biracial kids so-

BOOM! He can have kids in this AU.

They probably took some time to decide on the decision to have kids though since Echo and Viram are both dedicated to the cause of helping clones but eventually they do decide to settle down

Like all the Sec Gen kids, these two are absolute trouble makers and never back down from a challenge

They're a little less than a year apart, but they're 8 and 7!

TechPhee Family!

wow, I can't believe that this is actually canon guys!!! :D Isn't that amazing????

Anyways, Techphee kids don't have names yet but I am open to suggestions!!

Also,, these kids are an absolute THREAT. They're smart as hell, they're witty, they can fly a plane like it's nobody's fucking business, they're skilled with pistols and a vibroblade, there is NOTHING these kids can't do.

Except have 20/20 vision. Whomp whomp.

Hey, nobody is perfect.

Daughter is far-sighted and son is near-sighted!

Daughter is 11 and son is 8!

Guardians Family!

not pictured is the ten to twenty other kids that Hunter and Jung have adopted over the years

the super lovely and wonderful @taraneen and I were talking about this timeskip and she mentioned that she thinks that Hunter would eventually go back and adopt some kids after Omega leaves and I couldn't agree more

Him and Jung probably run some kind of orphanage or something where they talk in kids and if they so happen to be Force-sensitive, Jung helps them out with it

Look at these three, they're like,,, having a "who can grow out their hair the longest?" competition (Jung is winning)

Of course Omega loves all her new cousins and siblings as well :)

Omega is around 24 years old here so she's also like a big sister to all of them and they all look up to her and admire her deeply

[theladycarpathia]

Queer representation affectionate (LFJ) versus Queer representation derogatory (O. Stark)

[thetardisisnotourdivision]

I am unreasonably upset about the fact that I've been forced to accept that Gabriel was a Gerald.

For context, in An Inspector Calls, Gerald Croft is engaged to Sheila Birling when he meets a homeless, struggling Eva Smith in a bar, and essentially in return for a home and money he shows her affection (ahem), then gets rid of her once he no longer has a use for her. Now, obviously this isn't a direct translation, but the essentials are - a Gerald is a character who uses another character, in return for something they need, usually masking the fact that they're using them with affection and love.

And against my will I've had to accept that this is exactly what Gabriel does to Nathalie.

Did I want to think he had potential to be better? Did I think he genuinely cared for Nathalie?? Hell, did I just really really want somebody to care about Nathalie???

Probably all of the above but the point is: he's Gerald. And I cannot - I literally can't unsee it now. Their whole dynamic in S3 is like “oh boohoo I'm sorry I wish you didn't have to use the peacock Miraculous and kill yourself over it but uh I need to use your powers” “yeah no that's fine I'm all good”. Which, given the "Gerald" theorem, I'm assuming leads to the fact that what Nathalie needed, above all, was someone to care about her - and Gabriel came along, as Sheila Birling puts it, "like a fairytale prince", and was so caring and gentle and... Yeah. She fell for him. And. Yeah he genuinely did seem to care like twice. But so did Gerald. Gerald actually admits that he did care for Eva, just not the way that she cared for him, and, uh, not enough to not just dispose of her. So he discards her anyway when she stops being useful.

Leading me neatly to my point.

He starts using the peacock Miraculous the second it's fixed, the slimy bastard, HOWEVER. It runs way deeper than that. Assuming I'm right (which I almost DEFINITELY am), then Gabriel only needed Nathalie while she was useful. She didn't stop being useful in season three - she's still scheming for him, helping him with plan after plan. It's only partway through season 5 that she officially servers ties with him, and starts to actively hinder him.

Nathalie stops being useful when she fails as Safari. And I reckon that's when Gabriel and Tomoe decided she had to go.

(It's painfully, I-was-ugly-crying-over-it obvious in Conformation that Gabriel is fully prepared to let Nathalie die - in the original storyboard, her alliance was encouraging her to sleep, and he's very obviously prepared for this moment - I've made a separate post about it that I'll link if I can find it. However, onto the next bit)

With all of this, there's one thing that sticks out to me - Nathalie didn't see any of it until it was already too late. There could be many reasons for this. But you know who would have seen through it? Whose parents were all loving and perfect until she married the wrong man? Emilie. Emilie, who left behind those videos, which on the surface look innocent, but when you look deeper look like a (love confession???????) AHEM a warning. I reckon Emilie noticed what was going on and realised that Nathalie wouldn't see through Gabriel, so she left those videos addressed to Nathalie (not Gabriel, which surely they should have been - they were about him, after all - unless they were there...) as a warning. I don't think the videos were supposed to be about helping Gabriel, I think Emilie was warning Nathalie to get the fuck out of that house, and to take Adrien with her. Because Emilie knew it'd end like this.

Yes I'm still mad ok give me a break.

[technikki]

val showed off my balloon smp piece on stream and said it's one of the most gorgeous pieces they've ever received i am genuinely going to fucking cryyyy. YUUUUUUP

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

nah but like

they're "seiros lapdogs" because they're fighting back against the people who attacked them completely unprovoked??? also because it so happens that thales is at garreg mach so they have to go there to reclaim the area to defeat him???

i just hate this because it's just perpetuating things about faerghus and its people that just aren't true. it frames it like they jumped into the war willingly for the church and that they're only here for the church. like nah buddy, it's not faerghus' fault you're out here fighting to protect thales and ludwig.

it also is batshit to me how he and leopold are fighting to stop faerghus from advancing but like... they know what's happening to the empire and that edelgard isn't even calling the shots anymore, yet they still stupidly fight for the very person who is literally razing their country and burning their villages. they know the empire is in shambles and that the kingdom isn't targeting them and is specifically aiming for gm to get it back from who? thales; who, mind, at this point is in his real form and not posing as arundel anymore. everything is laid out plainly, but they still act like faerghus is the bad guy.

but yeah, okay. faerghus BaD for defending themselves, fighting back, finding out who is behind all the puppeteering and heading to take him out. sure, that makes them seiros lapdogs. like what are you, an agarthan mouthpiece??? may as well be like yeah you go retreat and leave you agarthan lapdog. if they don't realize it's Someone Else in charge of course, then ludwig lapdog works fine too.

and it sucks because other than this shit, i like waldemar just fine as a character. it's just like, it feels like they forced someone to have to stick in that final faerghus BaD insult before the grand finale so they just randomly picked someone to remind us that faerghus is Always Wrong as long as they continue to fight back and prevent being attacked in the future.

waldemar here is just basically ag caspar. fighting and risking his life for thales, who is destroying the empire and basically holding the emperor hostage. if the writing here had any decent plot points, they would've all stopped and have been like hey wait, shouldn't we be fighting to get our emperor back? why are we stopping these guys from killing the people who are destroying this country?

and like, they literally went from siding with ludwig during the insurrection to siding with edelgard in this timeline to... jumping immediately back to ludwig as soon as he was at the top of the food chain (thales notwithstanding). as soon as the person in charge changes, they jump ship immediately; then of course get mad that the people they attacked are coming after them... and fighting them as they defend the very people who are letting adrestia become a literal, physical ruin.

it really just tells me that these people don't care about adrestia itself, but status, power and wealth. they don't care about the country itself as long as they're doing well. that's like, the only thing i can get from still fighting with/for ludwig/thales. the fact that they just fight for ludwig again as soon as edelgard is out of commission is also pretty gross to me. they have no loyalty at all.

and it's like, i want to like waldermar and leopold, but they come across as just selfish, entitled and only there for their own asses to be covered. and i get that - that is a realistic take on politicians, but the fact that the game regularly loops back around to faerghus BaD despite that and despite portraying these people as opportunistically selfish is like... what are they even trying to write??

[gxlden-angels]

^ Bearer of the curse (Had to be the one to tell my therapist that some southern christians say "Daddy god" unironically)

[thetangibleghost]

All the stuffies I have

[spookydetective]

i fucking hate theater

[emile-hides]

Amazing how they managed to make a Gif that perfectly shows off everything we loved about the old layout and hate about the new one and still decided to try and sell the change as a good, well revived addition to the web site

Nothing about the new layout is streamlined, it’s all clunky and cramped and is honestly a mess of practical design compared to the old layout, but Tumblr higher ups will do whatever they want with no regard for the majority, we already knew this from Tumblr LIVE.

So if you’re like me and find this layout actually impossible to use but also have no where else to go, here’s a post for an extension that changes it back. Because the community does what Tumblr can’t; Make a functional Website.

A new way to navigate Tumblr

If you use Tumblr on a web browser, you might have noticed us testing a brand new navigation on your dashboard in the last month. Now, after some extensive tweaks, we’ve begun rolling out this new dashboard navigation to everyone using a web browser. Welcome to the new world. It’s very like the old world, just in a different layout.

Why are we doing this? We want it to be as easy as possible for everyone to understand and explore what’s happening on Tumblr—newbies and seasoned travelers alike.

Labels over icons: When adding something new to Tumblr in the past, we’d simply add a new icon to our navigation with little further explanation. Turns out no one likes to press a button when they don’t know what it does. So now, where there’s space, the navigation includes text labels. Since adding these, we’ve noticed more of you venturing to previously unexplored corners of Tumblr. Intrepid!

What’s already been fixed? Thanks to feedback from folks during the testing phase, we’ve been able to make some improvements right out of the gate. Those include returning settings subpages (Account, Dashboard, etc.) to the right of the settings page instead of having them in an expandable item in the navigation on the left; fixing some issues with messaging windows on smaller screens; and streamlining the Account section to make it easier to get to your blogs.

What’s next? We’re looking into making a collapsible version of this navigation and improving the use of screen space for those of you with enormous screens. We’re also working on improving access to your account and sideblogs.

That’s all for now, folks. For questions and suggestions, contact Support using the “Feedback” category. Please select the “Report a bug or crash” category on the support form for technical issues. And keep an eye out for more updates here on @changes.

[boxoftheskyking]

Might I give some advice:

Not everyone has (or needs to have) the energy to thoughtfully respond to republicans on the Internet. You do not have to do that.

But some people do, and can. And I think we gotta let them.

An example:

I have a former teacher, I'll call her Grace, who is an incredibly kind woman in her 70s. Devout catholic, had voted for various parties over the years, but has been pretty strictly democrat over the past 15-20 because that aligns with her values of kindness and service.

She shared a post about the pope's recent letter and expressed that she agreed with his concerns about how trump is treating immigrants. A friend of hers commented a long paragraph basically saying "dear Grace I care for you but I don't understand how you can be a Christian and a democrat. Blah blah abortion blah blah gender blah blah drugs."

Grace replied "I'm very busy right now but I am going to respond to you soon with my thoughts". When she did it was an incredibly generous, rational monologue that connected with this person's humanity, their shared religious values, and made a beautiful case for why she supports who she does. I didn't agree with a good half of what she said as I am not a Christian, but the result was an expression of values that I think put her on the side of justice and compassion.

The person replied and thanked her and said she had a lot to think about. It was probably the best case scenario for a Facebook politics conversation

You know what came very close to ruining it? A bunch of (mostly younger) people piling on with "fuck you you racist maga pos" and "no one has to explain anything to you, go to hell" etc etc. Even after Grace wrote that she intended to reply herself.

I watched this republican respond to all the easy, quick insults by saying "this is why I don't think any democrats can be Christian, this is how you all speak to me." If Grace hadn't put so much work into writing her response in a way that was tailored to fit this person, I would not be surprised if that person left Facebook doubly certain that Christian nationalism is the way to go.

I'm not saying we can't cuss out jackasses. I'm not saying everyone needs to respond to bad faith arguments like Grace did or use their time like she did.

But this was on Grace's Facebook page, and interrupted the work she already volunteered to do. Just so these individuals could feel like they "did something" and got a shot off at an enemy.

I think that's selfish and childish and unproductive. They could have said anything they wanted in their own space, but they made grace's job harder for no fuckin reason. And then "loved" her reply and said "that was beautiful Grace, thank you for sharing your thoughts"

Like... Buddies. Pals. If someone volunteers to scrub the toilet fucking let them.

[dgaftilwedie]

used to be friends with this chick who was literally the worst hostess ever. she had a cat that stayed in her room most of the time (all well and good, she was a sweet kitty) but istg she had a bladder problem. pissed EVERYWHERE. especially bc my friend wouldn't clean her litter box. whenever me n my best friend went over to her house, we were forced to sleep on her catpiss-covered hardwood floor. had to beg her to bring us blankets. one time, i fell asleep (read: ATTEMPTED TO) on a thing layer of squishmallows.

speaking of, there was one time and my best friend went over to her house and she literally passed out an hour into us being there. we were starving and all we had to fend off our hunger was a bottle of orange soda. i had to blare that international harvester song in her bluetooth headphones just for her to wake up and make us a pizza (which she burnt so bad it was inedible) and then she fell asleep after much complaints. she woke up like 4 hours later when me and bff were going to bed to play fucking?? idk maple story??? and then she bitched to her parents about us IN FRONT OF US the next day when we were waiting for our rides. her parents called her out. it was hilarious.

[sematarygirls]

⠀     ⠀   ♯┆Rafe Loves Your New Lotion.ㅤ  ۪ ୧

ᰋ. ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎he's such a softie‎ ‎ : ‎‎ ‎ ‎WARNINGS . . . fluff, sexual comments.   ̼ ₊

"Yeah, baby, bend over a lil' more for me," Rafe's voice came from his place propped up on his bed, watching you intently through the open bathroom door as you stood in panties and one of Rafe's t-shirts with one leg up on the bathtub, applying some body butter.

"Oh, quit being such a perv," you rolled your eyes, rubbing the thick substance thoroughly into your skin. You'd just went shopping—with Rafe's black Amex, of course—and picked up a bunch of new body care in new scents. You smelled absolutely divine, and your skin was as soft as ever already.

He groaned, flopping back dramatically. "Just come to bed already. Didn't you already put shit on your legs?" He complained—which he'd been doing since you'd gotten in the shower and denied him entry with you.

"That was body lotion. This is body butter," you explained, straightening up and applying it to your arms.

"Christ, you women and your products. What's the fuckin' difference?" He scoffed. You gave him a shrug in response. You didn't really know the difference or if using both made any difference at all, but you liked the routine of it all, taking care of yourself and basking in the rewards felt nice.

"Dunno," you said, turning off the bathroom light and walking into the bedroom. "But I like it."

"Fuckin' finally," Rafe mumbled, grabbing you when you got close enough and pulling you onto his lap. His entire demeanor changed the moment you entered his space, his face lighting up as he inhaled the intoxicating scent of you. "Goddamn, you smell fuckin' amazing," he groaned, burying his face in your neck and making you giggle.

"Not complaining now, huh," you rolled your eyes playfully, a smile on your lips as he ran his hands over your exposed skin, clearly enjoying the soft, smooth feel.

"Shut up," he mumbled, pressing a kiss right below your ear as he squeezed your thighs. "Fuck, baby, you smell like heaven. And your skin is so soft," he murmured, spreading your thighs apart slightly and running his hands down them slowly. "Jesus. No wonder you put half a fuckin' pharmacy on yourself." He teased, making you laugh again.

"I'm glad you like it," you smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck and giving him a quick kiss, already knowing that it was going to be nearly impossible to get Rafe to keep his hands to himself with this new regimen you had going. He was already obsessed with you, but now? Now, he was utterly addicted.

[monsterblogging]

"I know JK Rowing is a terrible person but her books are so good-"

You sure about that?

I mean, just for a start, have you taken a good look at her fantasy creatures lately? A whole bunch of them are straight-up based on malicious and dehumanizing stereotypes about actual people.

Remember the werewolves? And being a werewolf was made into a kind of metaphor for having AIDS?

And you know how AIDS was first associated with gay men? And how conservatives back in the day were claiming gay men were preying on children in order to convert them to gayness?

Remember how Fenrir Greyback preyed on children in particular? Yeah, she put that subtext in there. She was an adult in the 90's. She knew damn well what she was doing.

Remember the house elves? Remember how most of them loved to serve and needed to have a home and a master or else they just wouldn't know what to do with themselves?

Did you know that's literally what slavers in the American South said about the Black people they kept enslaved? Go look up the happy slave myth.

Do I even need to get into the goblins and the antisemitic tropes they're based on? No, folkloric goblins were not gold-hoarding bankers waiting for their chance to stab humanity in the back.

"But the characters are so good!"

Are you kidding me?

Most of her characters are pretty one-dimensional, including Harry. Her idea of making a morally complicated character is giving a tragic past to a bully. Numerous characters are little more than stereotypes. (Looking at Fleur right now.) Literally anybody, including you, can easily make dozens of characters just as good, if not better. (It doesn't exactly take a lot of character designing skill to go, "hey, actually, having a sad backstory doesn't make it okay to bully children" or "hey, maybe I should not base a character on the first stereotype that pops into my head.")

"But the rest of the worldbuilding!"

Sorry, but her worldbuilding is just as basic as her characters. Magical castles and secret passages are stock tropes. Magical people who keep their true nature secret from humanity is the premise of pretty much every White Wolf TTRPG. Most of her fantasy creatures are just common European fairy tale and folklore creatures with shitty stereotypes projected onto them.

I'm not saying "basic worldbuilding bad." I'm saying, you could do just as good, if not better, with minimal effort.

Also there's her magical bioessentialism, where only Harry's abusive blood relatives could provide him with supernatural protection from Voldemort. Rowling thus effectively declared that non-biological family isn't quite real family, and that abusive biofamily can give you some essential thing that a loving, supportive family that isn't related to you just can't.

The Hogwarts houses are one of the most insidious elements of her worldbuilding. The idea of being sorted gives you a little dopamine hit because wow now you have a li'l niche where you belong!

But the actual function of the houses and sorting system and the House Cup is teaching children to see each other as rivals, and ensure that the most toxic views of the upper class get passed on to every new batch of kids sorted into Slytherin.

Hogwarts effectively prepares children for a dystopia where magic serves to distract its citizens from how nightmarishly awful it is. Economic inequality is so bad that people like Arthur and Molly Weasley can barely afford to put their kids through school, casual sadism is just an accepted norm in everyday society, and non-humans are second class citizens. Rowling sorta acts like she thinks this is a bad thing with certain lines she gave to Dumbledore, but in the end, her special boy protagonist becomes an auror; IE, a defender of the status quo. So.

If you've never seen it, Lily Simpson's video goes into even more detail on how the worldbuilding of Harry Potter is actually incredibly fucked up, and how it betrays small-minded attitudes on Rowling's part. There's no separating the art from this artist, because Rowling's rotten values pour out of nearly every page.

Yes, there are many things in Harry Potter that evoke feelings and inspire people, but there's absolutely nothing in it that this series has a monopoly on. You can find those same experiences in much, much better media.

[depresseddepot]

I have yet to make sourdough bread that meets my standards for bread BUT I love my sourdough starter like a son