#that sleepover kinda did our friendship in

[dgaftilwedie]

used to be friends with this chick who was literally the worst hostess ever. she had a cat that stayed in her room most of the time (all well and good, she was a sweet kitty) but istg she had a bladder problem. pissed EVERYWHERE. especially bc my friend wouldn't clean her litter box. whenever me n my best friend went over to her house, we were forced to sleep on her catpiss-covered hardwood floor. had to beg her to bring us blankets. one time, i fell asleep (read: ATTEMPTED TO) on a thing layer of squishmallows.

speaking of, there was one time and my best friend went over to her house and she literally passed out an hour into us being there. we were starving and all we had to fend off our hunger was a bottle of orange soda. i had to blare that international harvester song in her bluetooth headphones just for her to wake up and make us a pizza (which she burnt so bad it was inedible) and then she fell asleep after much complaints. she woke up like 4 hours later when me and bff were going to bed to play fucking?? idk maple story??? and then she bitched to her parents about us IN FRONT OF US the next day when we were waiting for our rides. her parents called her out. it was hilarious.

[midn1ghtsworld]

TEACH ME

(Zoa x Male Reader)

It was a typical Friday night, and my best friend Zoa was over for our usual weekend sleepover at my place. Her parents were away on another one of their couples’ getaways, leaving us to our own devices as usual.

We were lounging on the couch, channel surfing, and snacking on junk food when Zoa suddenly brought up a rather awkward topic. “Hey, can I ask you something kinda personal?," she said, fidgeting with a lock of her long hair. I could tell she was nervous.

“Sure, what’s up?”I replied, my curiosity piqued.

Zoa bit her lip. “It’s about…cocks. I mean, I’ve never actually seen a real one in person before. Just in like, videos and stuff.” Her cheeks flushed pink.

I wasn’t sure what to say. Zoa and I had a close friendship, but we’d never really discussed this kind of thing before. “Oh, um, yeah, I guess...” I stammered.

She looked at me pleadingly. “I know this is super weird, but... could you maybe show me? Just so I know what it actually looks like? I’m really curious.”

I gulped. Part of me thought it was a bad idea. But Zoa was my best friend. And in a weird way, I was kinda curious myself to share this with her, even if it was awkward as hell.

Slowly, I reached down and undid my fly. I hesitated for a moment, then pulled out my semi-hard cock. Zoa’s eyes went wide as she stared at it, transfixed.

“Wow,” she whispered. “It’s so... different than I expected. Bigger.” She giggled nervously.

I shrugged, trying to play it cool even as my heart pounded. “Um yeah, I suppose so. So, uh, what did you wanna know?”

“So, um, how do I make it get all the way hard like in videos?” Zoa asked, leaning in closer to examine my penis.

“Here…” I said, hesitantly picking up my shaft. I began to stroke myself, showing her how to masturbate. “You kind of just rub up and down the length like this. Focus on the head, that’s the most sensitive part.”

Zoa reached out a finger to lightly touch the tip, watching in fascination as it jumped at her touch. “Wow, it’s really hard now,” she said, marveling. “Can you show me how to do a proper handjob? I want to try it.”

My heart was racing, but I nodded, moving my hand to guide hers onto my now rock-hard cock. She was eager to learn, stroking me with a slowly increasing tempo. I had to bite my lip to stifle a moan.

“Good, nice, and firm,” I instructed, demonstrating different techniques. “You can twist your wrist a bit as you stroke. Ooh yeah, just like that…”

Zoa giggled mischievously at how quickly she was getting me worked up. “I’m doing it right? You seem really into it…” She moved her other hand to cup and gently massaged my balls as she pumped me faster.

“Oh fuck, yes, don’t stop,” I groaned, my head tilting back. I could feel my orgasm building rapidly from her inexperienced but enthusiastic ministrations. “Zoa, I’m gonna cum soon…”

“I want to see it,” she said breathlessly. “Can I catch it in my mouth?”

I opened my mouth to protest, but before I could object, Zoa had leaned in and taken just the head of my dick between her soft lips. The sudden warmth and wetness made me lose it. With a strangled gasp, I started to blow my load.

Zoa’s eyes widened in surprise as the first spurt hit her tongue. But then she started to avidly lick and swallow, milking me for every last drop. I came so hard I almost blacked out, cum flooding her eager mouth.

When I finished, Zoa pulled off with a satisfied smile, licking her lips. A dribble of my spend escaped the corner of her mouth. “Mmm, not bad,” she giggled. “So that’s what cum tastes like. Pretty good!”

I sat there stunned for a moment, trying to process what had just happened. In the end, I just shook my head and laughed. “You’re such a fucking freak, you know that?” I teased. But I was grinning.

Finally, Zoa spoke up. “Um. I should probably…clean up…” She got up and headed to the bathroom, leaving me with my thoughts and a mess in my pants.

But then nature called, and I realized I needed to piss like a racehorse. Zoa’s door was cracked open as I passed by on my way to use her private en suite. That’s when I heard it. The unmistakable sound of flesh on flesh, breathy whimpers, my name falling from her lips like a litany of sin and need.

My heart was pounding as I stood frozen outside the bathroom door, palms sweating and fingers trembling. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Soft, desperate moans echoing from within, interspersed with my name uttered like a prayer. “YES! Y/N! I need your cock inside me… oh god, FUCK!!…”

Unable to stop myself, I slowed my steps until I stood outside the main bathroom, heart jack-hammering against my ribs. I shouldn’t be doing this. It was a horrible violation of privacy. But I was weak. So weak. Shifting my weight, I craned my neck just enough to peek through the narrow crack where the door failed to meet the jamb.

The sight that greeted my hungry eyes stole the air from my lungs. There in the candlelit gloaming, Zoa sat on the edge of the tub, one stocking-clad leg bent at the knee, the other splayed wide in obscene invitation. Her fingers moved between her parted thighs, plunging in and out of her glistening sex. The wet squelch of her arousal filled the air. A flush rode high on her cheeks, and her lips were parted around desperate little mewls. She looked so pretty like that, so wanton and needy.

Before I could think better of it, I acted on pure, primal instinct. In one swift motion, I twisted the knob and slipped inside, never taking my eyes off her. She startled at the intrusion, head whipping around to face me. Her eyes went wide with shock that quickly melted into something else. Something heated and hungry.

“Y/N? I… oh god, don’t stop…” she breathed, never ceasing the motion of her fingers. Her teeth dug into her lower lip as a particularly intense shudder wracked her frame. “Please, I need… I need you…”

An animal sound, something between a growl and a groan, ripped from my throat. How could I possibly deny her? Closing the distance between us, I sank to my knees before her, shouldering her hand aside to replace her fingers with my own. She was molten silk, clenching greedily at the intrusion.

“Fuck, you’re so wet,” I rasped, too far gone to care about the inappropriateness. I’d wanted this for so long, pretended I didn’t. How could I resist her now with her spread out before me, begging so sweetly?

“FUCK!,” she whimpered as I worked her closer to the edge, circling her sensitive little bud with the rough pad of my thumb. “Please, I need more. I need you inside me.”

“Zoa, god, you can’t… we shouldn’t…” I protested even as my cock strained against my zipper, aching to plunge into her welcoming heat.

“I need your cock. Fuck me, please,” she panted, glassy eyes boring into mine. “I’m so empty. Only you can fill me up.”

With a sound halfway between a curse and a prayer, I surrendered. Shoving my pants down just far enough to free my straining erection, I notched myself at her entrance. We both groaned as I forged forward, sheathing myself to the hilt in one long, smooth stroke.

“Oh fuck, you feel incredible,” Zoa gasped, nails scoring down my back as she wound her legs around my hips, heels digging into my ass. “So big. So deep. Ah!”

Zoa clung to me desperately, her nails scoring down my back as she met my thrusts. “Harder! Fuck me harder!” she wailed, her pussy clamping down on me.

She was perfect. Hot and tight and slick, rippling around me as if to pull me even further inside. I had to fight not to come right then and there like an overexcited teenager.

I set a hard, driving rhythm, the wet slap of skin on skin echoing obscenely in the small room. Zoa met me thrust for thrust, arching her spine to take me deeper still.

“Yes, fuck yes, just like that!” she keened, rolling her hips to take me to the root. “Don’t stop, don’t you dare stop!”

Pressure built at the base of my spine, molten heat pooling in my groin. I could feel my orgasm barreling down on me like a freight train. Desperate to bring her with me, I snaked a hand between us to find her swollen clit, rubbing tight circles around the sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Come for me, Zoa,” I commanded through gritted teeth, the pleasure almost too intense to bear. “Milk my cock. Squeeze me dry.”

“I’M C-CUMMING!” she wailed, spasming around me as her climax crashed over her. “Yes, yes, fuck yes!”

I could feel my own release fast approaching, my heavy balls drawing up tight. “Fuck baby, I’m gonna cum too! I’m pulling out, don’t want to knock you up. Pull away Zoa!” I panted harshly.

But the stubborn minx just tightened her legs around me even more, trapping me in place as she came with a scream. Her pussy clamped down on me like a silken vise, squeezing and rippling along my length. I roared as she milked me “Holy shit! I can feel your cum inside me!” spurting deep inside her as I emptied myself with long, hot pulses of cum.

We collapsed against the wall together, both of us gasping for breath. “Holy shit,” Zoa wheezed, her limbs still twitching with aftershocks. “That was… intense.”

I laughed, still buried inside her and enjoying the feeling of my seed painting her insides. “That it was,” I agreed, nuzzling into her sweat-dampened neck. “Imagine how much better it'll be when I'm not holding back.”

Zoa shivered and clenched around me at my low promise. She knew full well that was only the beginning.

[denileisariver]

pairing: batman aka bruce wayne x f!reader

summary: you move into wayne manor, but not everything is as it seems.

warnings: dark!bruce, established relationships, male and female masturbation, descriptions of male and female genitalia, voyeurism, another age gap fic cuz i love dilf!bruce, reader is described as a vigilante and being dicks friend, some non-consensual touching kinda, no piv unfortunately :(, reader is also described as having hair long enough to pull, one tiny use of the word 'baby', size kink if you squint, some overall darkish batfam? not rlly but I'll tag them as yandere anyway.

a/n: tbh i jus pulled this outta nowhere and have no idea where this might lead but fuck it we ball.

you had no idea what you'd gotten yourself into.

your new life at wayne manor was fast-paced and quite absurd. the transition from living in a cramped dorm with one girl to an ancient mansion with a bunch of other heroes whose lives you could barely keep up with hit you like a ton of bricks, it gave you whiplash.

you'd been friends with dick grayson ever since the two of you were teenagers. he was always someone you could easily bond with. whether it was about school, relationships, or being a vigilante the majority of the short time the both of you had been on this earth, he was always there for you. he was your best friend.

you never really had anyone you would consider family. orphaned at such a young age, you grew up to be cautious of other people, always wary that they would abandon you or find ways to exploit you.

at the beginning of your friendship with dick, you had honestly been quite jealous of the older male. you knew it was a bit selfish, but you couldn't help it. there was always a small part of you that despised him for being taken in by a wealthy man who could support him at his every whim, his newfound family that seemed to only grow bigger and bigger each time you saw him. how despite all the terrible things he had been through, he managed to find happiness, or at least content in his life.

and you wanted that, too.

but you always buried those feelings deep down. it wasn't his fault, and you couldn't blame him for it either, so you pretended it was never there in the first place. instead, you put on a brave face. it wasn't too difficult, and for some short moments, you did truly believe that you were happy, regardless of how out of place you felt sometimes around dick and his brothers and sisters.

brothers and sisters. those words were so foreign to you, that when you looked over the relationships you had with dick and his family, you almost had a sort of epiphany. none of them were blood related at all, but they went through thick and thin together no matter what. and a small part of you hoped, wished, that maybe you could be apart of that too.

maybe it was all just irrational.

dick and you had spent a lot of time together. at school, at the justice league headquarters, fighting side by side at unholy hours of the night, or just casual hangouts. you knew him well enough to catch that subtle look in his eyes whenever he looked at you. pity. it was there whenever he brought up what parties bruce was throwing for one of the kids' birthdays, or how tim and jason got into another petty fight that he had to resolve, damian getting awards at school that the family had to attend.

all experiences and problems that you never had, and probably never would. at least, that's what you thought, up until now.

"why don't you come stay wayne manor?"

at first, the question caught you off guard. sure, you spent countless of sleepovers at the place, and you'd known a decent amount about it to get around by yourself with ease, but still. you never considered the possibility of actually staying there. and by the look on dick's face, he seems to notice that too. "i meant- if you want. i just know how lonely it can be for you sometimes, and it would just be easier for us, y'know with our nighttime activities and-"

your eyes roll at his quick rambling, internally cringing a bit at the prospect of him mentioning you being fucking lonely. you flash him a weak smile, your tone dripping with sarcasm.

"sheesh, dick, thanks." you don't mean to sound so harsh, but it's difficult when all of this is so personal to you.

"i didn't mean it like that. and it's no big deal, really. we have plenty of space, and im sure bruce won't mind. maybe alfred, since he has to pick up after your ass but-" dick continues, shrugging it off like it really didn't mean anything. like he wasn't asking you to pack up your shit and move in with him and his family. "you're always welcome there."

and at that, your heart softens a bit. of course, you knew that, but even when you stayed over for a weekend or two, you never wanted to feel like you were overstaying. "i'll think about it, dick."

and you did. you thought about it quite a lot actually, even before dick had asked you that ludicrous question. and he was right. it would make things easier. you'd have a stable roof over your head, instead of the cracked ones that leaked like your dormatory back in gotham. you'd be able to spend more time with the people you cared about. you'd have people that cared about you too, look after you, and defend you if needed. it couldn't be that bad, right?

that's how you ended up here.

in a room that was bigger than all the shitty squats you lived since you were a kid combined. there was so much space you didn't know what to do with it. but the rowdiness of the boys and girls outside your door brought a smile to your face. life at wayne manor would call for some serious adjustment, but you felt like you could power through it. plus, it was only a bonus that you'd always thought jason was cute, much to dick's disgust.

the first couple of weeks staying here were honestly going great, much to your surprise. the family had welcomed you with open arms, some of them not even batting an eye when you regularly attended dinner with them, or walked around in your pajamas, or were quick to be in the cave once it was time for patrol. like you were supposed to be there all along.

your friendship with dick was more of the same, only now you lived with him. jason and you had gotten closer, but you didn't trust calling whatever feelings you had for him enough to call it a crush. you didn't always understand whatever nerd stuff tim would ramble about, but you listened to him anways. you appreciated how much stephanie and cass involved you into their movie nights and gossiping. well more you and stephanie gossiping than cass, but it still felt like you had the girl best friends you had always craved for. damian took some time to warm up to you, but you could still bond with him over his art and love for animals. alfred loved you already, so there wasn't much there to add. and then there was bruce.

you couldn't quite place your finger on bruce. even when you were younger, his stoicism and broodiness was something you couldn't get past, only in rare moments. there was always something about him that you found off-putting. granted that he was always kind, if that's even the right word for it, he never made you feel unwelcome, but you always felt uneasy around the man.

maybe it was how he seemed to be able to read you like an open book, how he could disappear in a room full of people, how he never quite matched the energy in the room, his incessant staring. god, you hated how much he stared at you. bruce's gaze made you feel small, when you usually were confident and assured of yourself. you could feel his eyes burning into you across the room, and you didn't know how to say anything about it or do much for that matter besides distract yourself.

you thought that by now you'd be able to get over whatever it was about him, that you'd known bruce long enough that you could just play it off as him being strange in his own way, but those feelings had only intensified ever since you moved into the mansion.

chills would run down your spine whenever he'd place a heavy hand on your waist, seemingly as casual touch, but it always lingered too long. held on too tight. this look in his eyes, but you couldn't tell what it was. you had brought it up briefly to dick, but he didn't think much of it, laughing it off, saying something along the lines that's just bruce, you'll get used to it.

but you didn't. you couldn't.

especially now that bruce was inviting you to spar with him. to make sure you're prepared, he said. prepared for what exactly, you're not so sure. but you reluctantly agreed, trying to see it as something useful and educational that you could actually use while fighting against whatever villain of the day thought about creating mayhem in gotham.

bruce was strong and brutish compared to you. every time you tried to throw your best at him, he always managed to get the upper hand, and you'd be flat on the sparring mat in a matter of seconds. it had almost seemed like childsplay to him, and if you didn't know any better, you'd think that maybe deep down a part of him enjoyed it.

he'd roughly grab and contort your body in uncomfortable positions, to test your flexibility, as he so called it. your hair would be pulled unforgivingly, and he'd place his weight on top of you, telling you to try and escape from him, much to your avail. you felt like he was taunting you, "you think those criminals in gotham are gonna be easy on you like i am?"

it didn't fucking feel like he was going easy. bruce would place his hand on your neck and choke you out till you were clawing at his skin, only letting go if you tried to beg or actually managed to use your own skill to get him to stop, but that had only happened once and never again. and when you writhed and struggled in his bruising hold, you'd notice that damn look in his eyes again.

no, this wasn't normal sparring.

you'd seen him spar with the other boys and girls, and it had never been like this. and although he was still ruthless, he'd given them actual advice. advice that you'd seen them use out in the field on multiple occasions.

you'd been wandering around gotham long enough to know when someone had it out for you. whether it was sex, crime, or something else, you knew that distinct look in a persons eyes.

a predator hunting down prey.

☆☆☆☆☆

you tried to wash off whatever the hell that was with bruce down the drain. everytime the eery thought of him having less than good intentions for you came up, you pushed it away. whether it was out of guilt for even thinking of him in that way, cause he saved so many people each night without expecting anything in return, or because he was your best friends father, and no he'd never hurt you. that's just unreasonable.

the whole situation just made your head hurt. maybe it's just an overreaction. dick said that whatever this behavior was is normal of bruce. and so you foolishly continue to believe it.

you search your drawers for a fresh pair of panties, too tired to realize that some of your favorite pairs had gone missing. the room, which you personalized after your couple of weeks here, feels suddenly strange to sleep by yourself in.

when you first moved in, you slept like a baby. you felt safe, like this was a normal thing because you'd slept well in these walls ever since your sleepovers with dick. now, it just felt like something was watching you. a feeling that sometimes left goosebumps on your skin, and you couldn't understand what it was.

there's bruises on your skin from how tightly bruce held onto you. some as big as the shape of his hands on your wrists, and as small as the tips of his fingers on your neck. you're completely oblivious to the camera that's watching you closely, placed strategically so you'd never find it. you're oblivious to the man whose behind them.

even if you had just taken a shower, you decide to get yourself dirty again, in other ways. your favorite thing to relieve stress. playtime. so you trace your fingertips down your body with a feather-light touch, gently tweaking and rolling your fingers between your nipples to get yourself excited. you allow your mind to go blank for a while.

you have no idea that bruce's breathing only gets heavier when he realizes what you're about to do. don't know how his cock is hardening beneath his joggers when you push your panties to the side, gathering up your slick and finding your clit to pleasure yourself. don't know that he's stroking himself too, between the layers of his pants and boxers, with your panties in his hand.

how he wishes there was better light in the darkness of your room, so he could get a better look at your glistening pussy, and swearing to himself that he'll get a good look at it upclose one day. he matches your pace, making sure he only gets to cum at the same time you do.

you seem frustrated. he thinks that maybe he can fix that for you. you lick at your middle and index finger, using your own saliva as lubricant, teasing yourself by slowly rubbing along your wet folds. torturing him. the soft pads of your fingers find your clit, setting a medium-slow pace. and bruce tries his best to mimick your actions. pulling himself out of the constraints of his clothes, teasing the fat mushroom head of his cock, gliding a thumb over the tiny slit where his pre-cum dripped out of him, then moving it down his shaft to gently pump it with his hand.

and when your fingers pick up the pace, so do his hands. his eyes intently watch the screen before him, admiring the way your body arches up off the bed, head pushing into the pillows. your chest heaves a bit, and by the way you're biting on your bottom lip, he can tell you're struggling to be quiet. he doesn't want you be, but he'll take what he can get, for now.

your hips writhe a bit, almost like you wanted to fuck back at your fingers, desperately needing something thicker than your petite hands. you move both hands down to your cunt, so you can play with your clit and finger fuck yourself at the same time, and the action makes your pussy cry at the attention.

bruces muscles flex with each jerk of his hand, his free hand going down to gently cup his balls. his eyes hone in on your tiny digits, moving in and out of your cunt with one sole purpose, your juices creating a filthy sound that's like heaven to bruce's ears. he wants to be there so he could get a taste of that sweet pussy, but he suffices with your panties in his mouth, biting down on the fabric.

he could see the markings he left on your delicate skin in the moonlight that peeks into your room, possessiveness coursing through him. he feels pathetic for even doing this, but he can't help himself. bruce's cock twitches in his hand at the sight, knowing your orgasm was coming quickly by how sloppy and rushed your movements were becoming.

it's been so long since you've touched yourself. too long in fact, that your cunt spasms and gushes, completely soaking your hands and the sheets beneath you in the process. and bruce allows himself to cum too, his cock jumping a bit with every rope of the sticky substance, covering his happy trail and abs.

you seem too tired to care that you're laying in your own pussy juice, darkening the fabric below. bruce's eyes are soft, watching you roll over on your side, not even bothering to clean up afterwards. that was a tomorrow's problem.

bruce makes sure to save the precious evidence that the camera caught, knowing it'll be hidden away for his eyes only. he watches you fall asleep in your own mess till his cock begins to soften, placing himself back into his boxers.

he knows you pretty well, he'd like to think. knows you well enough that if you knew what he'd just done, you'd probably slap him across the face. another part of him hopes it turns you on just as much as it turns him on, but maybe that's just him feeding into his delusion. he trails his eyes over your sleeping form just one more time, a small goodnight baby whispered from his lips, even if you can't hear him.

he shuts off the computer for the night, hoping that he'll soon be lucky enough to watch you touch yourself again tomorrow. or maybe even get to fuck you. soon. really fucking soon.

he'll have to remind himself to be a bit grateful for dick inviting you to stay here, in his home. bruce hadn't been too proud when he suggested it to dick, bringing up that you'd easily accept to their request of moving into wayne manor. and he was right.

if dick or anyone else was suspicious about what bruce was doing, or planned on doing, he wasn't too worried of it. he also knew his adopted children well enough that they wouldn't tell on him, and loved you too much to allow you to leave, and for that, he was also grateful.

he had you right where he wanted you, and he'd give you a really hard time if you even thought about leaving now.

[your-queer-dad]

hi dad,

I want to start by saying your blog is amazing and you help so many people, I hope you know that xx.

I'm in a bit of a situation and I hope you can give me some advice (no worries what so ever not, I'm sure you get a lot of these haha).

So, I really struggle making friends, but I've had one good friend for a couple of years, A. She's absolutely amazing, even with all the shit I put her through (I sh and I'm pretty sure I have an Ed and I'm autistic so I have no social skills whatsoever, sometimes it feels like she's more of a carer than a friend even though I try to keep that stuff from impacting her too much. It not her responsibility and I don't want her worrying) (I'm in therapy, so you shouldn't worry either)

Anyway A is just a bit too kind for her own good, one of our old friends she really didn't like and neither did I, but we just kinda stayed friends with her until we found out that she SA'd a girl, we talked to her about it asking if it was true and then she kinda dumped us. We were both relived. (Me doubly so, because if she'd done it to someone else it was less likely it was my fault, but that another (long) story). And I hate that it fulfills all of the stereotypes for trans girls, and all of the thing my very conservative family had warned me about.

And now A still has a friend called J, now I don't like J and A knows this even though I still respect their friendship and will chat with J when they sit with us. Lately A has been complaining to me about things J does that annoys her and even told me that she thinks they may be lying about an instance of SA they reported, which is HUGE. I'd considered that J might be exaggerating some details but outright lying.... And A and J have been friends for over a decade. It makes me really glad that I haven't told her about my own experiences. But it also makes my very uncomfortable because I worry that she doesn't really like me either and is just too nice to say, she invited J for a sleepover for her birthday same as me, so she could secretly hate me, and some of the things she's been complaining about I do too.

And to make matters worse, I feel she's been pulling away recently (she even forgot my birthday, which I said was fine, she was stressed and I didn't want to make a big deal of it and I din't invite her over of anything which in hindsight was probably a bit rude I just didn't have the energy to do anything that wasn't necessary, or even something that were, K haven't showered in way too long haha, but I'm still a bit hurt that she forgot.) ,and we've been sitting with a wider group of people, who have all been very nice and welcoming. But As made quick friends with K, which makes me really insecure about our friendship even though I know it shouldn't and A is allowed and deserves friends outside of me. And K been very nice to me too, but we're not really friends yet. I doesn't help that A and K are very allosexual and alloromantic witch is something they can bond over and a way to prove that trust each other. I am aroace and very closeted even though the whole friendship group and school really is really accepting. I'm still, ashamed I guess, my families conservative and ice never said it out loud and I don't feel ready to tell them. But their talking out crushes and deepening their relationship and I want in, and I don't want to appear standoffish, and I want to listen I want to be a part of this part of there lives even if I don't fully understand.

But A didn't tell me about her crush she told K, and when K started gossiping about her crushes she asked me if I liked men and I just shrugged ten she asked me if I like women I said I don't know and she didn't bring it up again. And then later when we were talking out her taste in men she said it felt like something she should be talking to A about and I asked her why. She asked me if I ever had thought like those (she was talking about wanting to rip men suits off, eww, haha) and I said no. I guess I just feel really excluded and insecure and I'm worried that they don't like me(I have no social skills, I'm pretty stupid, I don't hide my SH well enough and I'd do anything for a laugh or a little bit if attention even drink salt water) ( yes I'm mentally ill how could you tell? Haha)

But I don't want to do anything about it , I don't want to tell them I'm aroace and in worried about talking to them more (incase I'm annoying or they actually don't like me) or less (in case a sabotage the relationship, or they forget me, or they think I'm being standoffish)

I know Abby knows I appreciate her friendship but I'm worried that K doesn't, because I know I appear standoffish. I was thinking about inviting K to go rock climbing with me cause I love going and A doesn't and it would give me a chance to make propper friends with K maybe enough to forgive my quirks haha. But she was talking to A the other day and the exact approach I planned to use (I want to go rock climbing do you want to go with me) was thrown out as a way to ask for a date. So I don't want to do that any more in case it's read wrong, I know K likes girls too and add that asking her on a 'date' to the fact that in uncomfortable talking about her dating life I'm worried conclusions will be drawn.

But I don't know what else to do, short of just falling behind and letting the friendships fall apart. I already know A saw J outside of school without me. Idk, I just don't want to be alone.

Anyway sorry for the long ass rant, I hope you can give me some advice but no worries if not. Hope you have a good week 😊.

Bye dad.

(I have just realised how much I love brackets 🤣)

Hey kiddo! Thank you so much for reaching out! Honestly I think your plan to spend some one on one time with K and become better friends with her is a really good idea. I would also recommend maybe sharing your feelings about your friendship with Abby and communicating?

- dad x

[emotionalcraney]

Too Careless

Pavitr Prabhakar x gn!reader

Word Count - 1.3K

Genre - Stablished platonic relationship, pure angst

Warnings - Fighting (Oh no the horrors), feeling under appreciated, surprise ending cliffhanger???

Summary - You instantly knew who was behind the mask of the new hero appearing in Mumbattan; and of course it was your best friend Pav. This didn’t cause any problems in your friendship, at least at first. This ‘discussion’ was a long time coming, you just didn’t wan to admit it.

A/N - *Slaps roof of car.* This bad boy has so much angst, you probably can’t even imagine, Hey guys, so I found out the hard way that I really really like writing angst. Who would have thought? Anyways enjoy! 💖

It was just another sleepover with Pav.

Also known as your best friend.

And also as Spider-Man.

That’s what you both always did. You were hanging out with Pav in his room after school, doing your nails, and telling him all the gossip you heard in school that day.

“Yeah, to be honest, she’s got no way of getting out of this one. I mean who even sleeps with their best friend’s boyfriend?” You said as you filed your nails, preparing them for nail polish.

“Yeah, no idea why people even do that,” He responded as he scrolled his phone, looking for something very specifically.

“So, Pav, you hear about people trying to ‘unmask’ you at school?” Trying to make air quotes at the word unmask, you playfully brought up.

“Uh-huh,” Pav quickly and dismissively replied.

Noticing his ignorant behavior, you decided to test him, to see if he was purposefully not looking in your direction.

“They got some pretty good suspects, like the jocks, gym rats, even acrobats in our school.”

“Yeah.”

“No one suspects you.”

“Of course.”

“Except me, who already told the newspaper president to unleash the news to the world.”

“You’d never do that.”

“So you are listening! What gives?” You shouted frustrated as you got up and took his chin to make it face you, away from his stupid phone.

“Sorry! You know I love listening to you! I just heard that the city wants to award Spider-Man with a ceremony soon and I wanted to be the first to know! Mostly ‘cause I would be the guest of honor, you get me right?”

“Pav really? That’s amazing! Let me see! Let me see!” You quickly decided to sit next to him in his bed, waiting to see the exciting news.

He was absolutely correct. Mumbattan wanted to thank Spiderman for all his work in saving civilians, being a role model, and an overall bright person by giving him an award. The ceremony was to take place in about a week from now.

“See Pav? All your hard work is paying off! I’m so proud of you!” Giving him a sudden reassuring hug, you told him.

“Well, it’s nothing really.”

“Pav, no, I’m not letting you under-appreciate your efforts. You earned this!”

“I’m being serious! I just show up and things just kinda work out on their own.”

“Ok, Mr.Humble, you can stop now! Take it in! Enjoy it!”

“No! I’m being very serious right now! Ever since I became Spider-Man, people have been telling me about how hard and how much sacrifice I must be putting in, but that’s not true.”

Then he just stared at you, a serious and almost disappointed look in his eyes. His life had currently felt so carefree, so relaxing, so easy.

He didn’t really feel like a true hero.

Sure, there were times when he thought he might not be able to save everyone. But things always turned out okay.

Always.

Now, he was scared that one day, that might not be the case. And then, he wouldn’t know how to save someone.

“I’m sorry, Pav. I didn’t mean to be pushy,” You finally responded after a long pause.

“No, I’m sorry for snapping at you. That’s not cool, especially when the person I’m snapping at is you,” He said as he went up to you and held you by your shoulders.

“Okay. But, Pav, why didn’t you tell me before? You know you can talk to me about anything.”

“Sorry, I just… I didn’t really know how to talk about this one… you wouldn’t get it.”

Those words stung deeply.

Here you were, his number one fan, his support since day one, but…

You wouldn’t get it.

“I wouldn’t get it huh? What happened to, ‘we’ll face everything together?’” It truly made you unbelievably frustrated.

“It’s you and me?

Against everything that could possibly get in our way?

What about me?”

He didn’t know how to respond to that. You guys had been childhood friends forever. So close. Never apart. Always together.

How was he supposed to respond?

You had felt it too.

This year was the year that things started to crumble. Even if you didn’t want to admit it.

You guys did everything the same. Always going through the same motions. But that spark, the one that always made you wanna give your best into the friendship, it was gone.

It only made sense. After all, a lot of things had changed that year.

You wanted to put the blame on a lot of things, because, you didn’t want to admit the probability that you and Pavitr were changing.

No. Not yet. Please.

You sniffled.

Talk about pathetic…

He had no idea on how to comfort you. You’d never acted like this. With just the start of a common conversation, he now had you upset to the point of having you almost crying.

“Pav… I’m sorry…”

“No, it’s okay, I didn’t know that’s how you felt.”

“I didn’t even know how I felt… don’t blame yourself..”

Silence was all you could both muster for a second.

“Hey, I know things have been weird lately but-“

It had to happen. Just as you were both ready to share your emotions with each other, his phone rang with an alarm.

A robbery in progress.

All the way across town.

How did it come to this?

You looked at him disappointed for a moment. But then, you remembered what you promised him. To be there for him and to always encourage him to do good.

Those people were in danger.

You could wait.

You always had, so what was the difference?

“Pav… you better go. Or should I say Spider-man?” As you composed yourself, you tried to lighten the situation.

He looked at you in shock, not expecting this reaction from you. You were right, and he knew that. But he couldn’t help but feel guilty for having to put aside this very important conversation with you.

He was frozen in place.

So, you did what you knew best.

You gave him a little push.

“Hey, hurry up! Mumbattan needs you!”

That snapped him back to reality. Soon he got up and ready to embark into his next mission. He couldn’t place the reason, but he felt that something was off. You were acting as you’d always had, but something about your smile bothered him. It looked genuine, but it was hiding something, and he couldn’t figure out what it was.

He decided to let it go for the moment and he later found himself about to jump out of his window.

But, he turned back to give you one last glance.

“Go!” You simply whisper-shouted as to not alert aunt Maya.

But, behind his shiny and bright mask, he had a sad glint in his eyes. And very softly and gingerly he said:

“Thank you.”

And just like that, he jumped out into the busy streets of Mumbattan.

Those words meant more to you than he could ever know,

You knew the reason as to why you didn’t want your relationship with Pavitr to become distant. It was all his fault really.

He was the brightest, most lovable, most kind guy you’d ever met.

You’d fallen for him.

And he had no idea.

Instead, he was moving on. Moving on to loving someone else.

How long would you be okay with this?

How long would it take for you to accept change?

How much longer could you endure having him not know how you felt about him?

You had absolutely no idea as to how he couldn’t have figured it out before. It was as if he didn’t even care.

But that was okay.

Because for now, you were okay with that.

Okay with just waiting.

[rambosgirl]

🦉Positivity owl reporting for duty! This was sent by a friend who wants you to smile as much as your posts make them smile. Please list five things that make you unique, four things you are super passionate about and why, OR three of your favorite memories. Feel free to send the owl to those who you feel deserve to smile🦉

Awww I love this!

Five things that make me unique:

I'm very musical! I play the flute, piano, violin, ukulele, and sing.

I'm in college studying a combination of degrees, Animal Science and Psychology

I got married young (barely 20) and I'm loving every minute! (I also want a bunch of kids but pregnancy scares me so we're not gonna for a while) (Specifically I want a bunch of boys and a few girls cause I think it would be ADORABLE to have all the boys be so protective of their sister(s))

I'm such a girly girl. Ball gowns, makeup, frolicking through a meadow, all of it. I also have a tiara collection that takes up MUCH of my closet.

This is kinda weird but like... I get my period every 3 months instead of the usual 1. It's ver interesting in a 'idk what my body is doing - ever' kind of way

Four things I'm super passionate about:

Horse training!! It's what I want to do for my career, and I just feel so alive when I do it. I love building connections and friendships without saying a word, it just feels magical in a way

My family. I come from a family of 7, and we're super close. I have a special connection to all my siblings and parents (who did/are doing an amazing job), I just love them all so much. I know good families are something not everybody has, and that really makes my heart ache for anyone who doesn't have this (If this is you, know that family is something you can build with your friends and that you aren't alone, and I love you)

Going along with the horse training, my dream is to have a family farm where I can run my horse training business but ALSO raise my kids and be at least a little self-sufficient. (you never know when the zombie apocalypse is gonna happen XD) I want horses, cows, and chickens, and I've recently been thinking about goats too... Oh, and I want a big garden and orchard! I love fruits and berries, so lots of those. And flowers too

My religion! I feel like it allows me to be the best version of myself I can be, and the people are so nice :)

Three favorite memories:

My wedding day. It was rough, nothing went as planned bc of the rain we had to switch indoors (I dreamed of getting married at my aunt's ranch for my entire childhood and it didn't happen) we had close to no decorations bc they were at the ranch, just UGH! BUT! The people who came to my wedding were the best, they helped decorate, my dentist actually became the DJ, and I ended up having so much fun with my friends and family. Not to mention, I married my BFF, and now we have a sleepover every night (yay!)

I don't remember much of my childhood, BUT I love every memory I have of playing Barbies with my sisters. We always had the most unhinged plotlines to our games but there was always serious TEA. Looking back it was a fever dream but one I would love to go back to.

Any memory of my old project horses. I built special connections with them, and I love them so much. Especially with this one spicy Appaloosa mare, I would be working with her alone, she was SO wound up, mean, fearful, just everything. But I kept at it and got her to a place where she wasn't afraid anymore, and spending time with her became so peaceful I can't even put it into words. She still had her spicy personality, but to be honest I would not change that about her even if I could. She wouldn't be herself without it. It felt like we were in our own little world. And while I taught her a lot, I feel like she probably taught me so much more (I'm crying rn btw)

Dang, I needed this, thank you so much anon!! ;-;

[leslutdepointedulac]

For the inbox thingie! If you could go back in time and change one thing in your life (something you've done), would you or wouldn't you do it? Why?

Getting right into it I see. I respect that lmao.

So I feel like there's a million and one things I could say in response to this, and tbh there was thing in particular which came to me pretty much instantly, but that's a bit too much for now and I've never really spoken about it before so we'll go with something else instead 😂 😂

I'll put it under the cut just because, whereas it's not as personal and trauma dumpy as it could've gotten, it's still more than I initially realised lmfao. It's just old/new friend stuff so nothing actually traumatising or anything like that.

After I finished school a few years back now, I drifted away from all my old friends. I basically never really got back in touch with them. I should mention as well that they're all still friends with each other to this day, it's just me they're missing from the group.

But tbh, I don't think I would necessarily change that and get back in touch. Because despite our years long friendships, looking back I realise I was sort of the outsider in my own friend group. I was the quiet one who wore all black and listened to 'weird' music, and I never really liked the same things they did. Anytime they hung out, not only was I never invited, but I wouldn't even know that had happened until they were talking with each other about their sleepovers or whatever they'd done when we got back to school after the weekend. Their excuse for not inviting me was the same everytime: "We didn't think you'd want to come." Or "We figured you'd say no so we just didn't bother."

It hurt then but it's only really looking back now that I realise I was just kinda there. I wasn't really apart of the group. And I never felt like I could ever be myself around them either.

I always knew that wasn't the way things should be, but it's only now that I have my current friends, that I fully appreciate that. I'm not the outsider of the group anymore, I'm not the weird, quiet one, and despite the fact that I live miles away, even in different countries to all my friends now, I know that I wouldn't be left out of any irl interactions. And I'm not left out online either. I'm much better off with my friends now than my previous ones.

[sugaroto]

There's a lot I wanna say about uni and how I feel about the whole shit, but imma start by one thing for now

"Friends"

I'm gonna take it from the begging

The first 2 days I was hanging out with a group of girls that were... too straight-girly for my liking and toxic

And when I say straight girly I don't mean "I like pink" or shit focus on the TOXIC part

Examples:

*girl leaves*

Toxic *literally 2 seconds later* she's a weirdo isn't she? You agree with me don't you?

*next day* Let's keep her around she's fun. The *[name_of_her_hometown]* gurl. Omg

(She literally called her the "Το [μερος] γκερλ" [μέρος] as in where that girl was from)

Example 2

"I can't have guys friends, they ALWAYS end up hitting on me and ruining the friendship, I only want gay queens for bffs"

Those 2 examples are actually of the same toxic girl

Oh also she's independent since 14 and has been smoking since then #cool #not like the others girls or something

Now, to be honest that group had a bunch of people, mostly girls, she was the most annoying,

I ended up keeping in touch with one girl from that group who we're gonna call Keila (used random name generator) who was actually cool

Before uni started we also met Floretta who I really liked cause she watches the same shows like me, like anime or good omens etc that kind of stuff, oh and also books like 6 of crows, she also knew what all for the game was and wanted to read it

In class we met Jessi... and I'm not sure how to describe her

And Beatrix who I don't remember when she appeared but she seemed nice and have become real close with Floretta

I am giving a description of these girls, cause supposedly that was the group of friends I made

Now, an ironic thing, one of the first days I was out with Floretta, Jessi and Beatrix (I think Keila was out of town or something) one of them asked if we knew that trend "where people bring food of different colors to a house gathering"

And I replied that "Oh my friends actually did that last year but I wasn't invited"

Jessi said "I would have not let that slide! The audacity" and stuff, in which I kind of tried to justify my school friends, bc if we're being honest I was mostly hanging out with other people at the time, and I was not this close with the girl that the party was at her house

And they said stuff like "We'll involve you now, in the stuff we'll do and all"

Guess what they did

Guess who was the only person they did not invite in shit they did

Well, we did do stuff at first, we had a sleepover at someone's house, we went to the cinema together... that I think

We sat together in class and all, and I could see that some of them were closer with each other than I was but I still thought we were a friend group

We didn't really hang out much lately, and too be honest the last... 8? Weeks I hadn't left the house on the weekends, daily I would go to uni for class and the canteen to eat with them but on the weekends I would stay inside the house for the whole 2 days... which was probably kind of lonely

Oh btw, there was a group chat, but nobody sent anything, they stopped texting right after a few days, and too be honest there were 2 other girls in the gc who found other friends and we stopped talking so I kinda expected someone would make a gc of the supposedly friend group we had

Anyways the other week, one of our classes got canceled, I stayed in and the next day Keila was describing to a girl from class what happened last night at Floretta's home on a sleepover and how Jessi got drunk and Beatrix slept etc

So I'm realizing they all had a sleepover and didn't tell me, but I'm not the kind of person that would make a big deal out of it even if I felt bad or something. I guess it was a last minute thing cause class was canceled (?) And didn't tell me cause I live in a different town 5 minutes away

Later that day Keila was telling Beatrix something like "I sent her(Jessi) *something something* on the group chat"

So I realize there's a group chat I'm not a part of

btw that was on a Friday, oh also that day, I asked Keila which bus I should take if I wanted to go to jumbo

Later on Monday, I had a morning class which I only share with Jessi, we didn't really talk. And I took the bus to go to town and 2 hours later I saw all of them across the street

Turns out they were waiting for the same bus I was waiting to go to jumbo, (I was on the wrong side of the street) but I ended up talking with Floretta outside the bus while she was looking for her ticket like "hello" "Oh hi... what are you doing here?" "I'm going to jumbo" "oh cool us too"

And since we had the same destination we ended up going together, since we're also friends

And honestly I'm a little mad cause like Keila knew I wanted to go to jumbo, and Jessi saw me that morning, but no one told me hey why don't we all go together, but the 4 of them went

And I did feel like an outsider and had my own basket while they had their own, I didn't feel like putting anything I wanted into their shared basket since I wasn't in the plan

Does this even make sense its 3am

Anyways Floretta was also buying candles and balloons and decorations, and when we were in the elevator she told me "Oh by the way I may do something for my birthday on Sunday if you want to come" Μπορεί, Κυριακή, αν θέλεις, are not enough information to invite someone in your birthday

Especially when you pick out the decoration like "but girls, I don't want to celebrate it" and then go "μπορεί" may means you're still thinking about whether or not you do something about your birthday, also I don't know when and where, do I just show up at her house at 7am on Sunday? No?

I've gone uninvited to 2 birthday parties as a kid I'm not doing it again if you want to invite me do it properly

She obviously told me cause I was with her when she was buying everything, but wouldn't she end up informing her guests about the time and all when she decides what she does? She didn't text me anything or told me anything about it the rest of the week

So on the weekend, I saw two birthday stories, one from Keila on Saturday and one from Floretta on Sunday, I already explained Floretta

Keila, tried explaining herself to me when I saw her on Monday

Which personally... I find ... stupid?

That's what she told me: "I want you to know the reason I didn't invite you was because I wanted to do something small with only the people from [town] cause they live close, and I didn't want anyone to sleep over, cause my dad died, and my dad died I can't be doing parties. Shame" all in one breath. 9am I didn't not have the energy.

And GIRL. Seriously when you try to excuse it like that it sounds stupid. 1) I live literally 5 minutes away with the bus, the taxi costs 4€(considering in my island it costs 27€ I DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT SPENDING 4€ ON A TAXI) 2)If she told me "come to my birthday" I would not have brought my pajamas with me, I would have left with a taxi, I do not know why she assumed I would sleep there without her wanting me to sleep there

3)... I know what grieving is. I assumed she didn't invite me bc she wanted to do something small due to her father dying.

(Considering I am the only one she didn't invite, I don't know what huge difference I make but anyways)

Also. I don't know how to explain it but I feel it ridiculous that she tried to explain this to me. I stopped inviting people at my house after my uncle died.

And don't tell me anything like "but that's her father it's just your uncle" or some shit because of what I know it seems I had a much better relationship with my uncle than she did with her father

I know no matter what of person he used to be, she still lost him and will grieve him, but ... explaining those reasons to me?

I used to have a group of 11 people coming to my house almost biweekly and then I just stopped. It took me a long while to actually invite people over again cause I have forgotten how to do so, and the people that came were 2 really close friends. Only after a year did I ended up inviting over my bsf and 2 classmates(3 whole people) for board games

I know what grieving is.

And I know people can grieve in different ways

...but when you word it like that it just sounds like an excuse....

I assumed she didn't invite me bc of it but the whole paragraph? "Only from the town, no sleepover, dead father"

Honestly I had similar experiences when I was 12 and I have hated those kind of excuses since then. You did not invite me. For whatever reason. Okay. Making an excuse is worse. I don't care

And like as I said, I had assumed the grieving part was why and I was not planning to fight her about it. Her paragraph just makes me mad

I'm tired it's 3.30 am

I have a few more things I'll say tomorrow

[girlstressed]

the thing I had in place of a homoerotic teenage friendship was a weirdly homoerotic codependent friendship since my months were in the single digits to around the age of 11. And I know it’s a little weird maybe to call a friendship when we were kids homoerotic but….trust me. I don’t think the l relationship was romantic but like. It was gay, yk? I have this one homophobic relative who occasionally accused us of making out (didn’t happen) (she started doing this when we were 5 lmao). Or like. One time I hadn’t seen my friend in a month or so (a LOT for us) (she was at my house having a sleepover with me like every other weekend) and we were watching tv on the couch and I had my arm around her and my neck started to hurt kinda so I stretched my neck vaguely in my friend’s direction — not getting that close to her (even if I did it would have been fine w us) and my relative accused me of trying to kiss her. I don’t tell anyone this, but a small part of me liked that? When we got accused of that? I mean I didn’t like it bc that relative is homophobic and I’m getting accused of kissing my friend when our relationship wasn’t like that and that could have affected our friendship (it didn’t) and also she really thinks I’m dumb enough to kiss my female friend in front of my homophobic relative? But a small part of me did like being perceived that way. It was wrong in the actual accusation, but. Idk. She was like “my girl” to me. So seeing us as dating wasn’t accurate but it felt good. When we were younger I remember her saying she wanted to get married but didn’t wanna marry a murderer, and I told her “you could always marry me.” I don’t think I wanted to marry her, persay, but. I was willing?

anyway I regard this as worse because it began before I could walk or talk and ended abruptly. When I was a little younger than 11. Up until it ended, I had never remembered life without her or our relationship that had seeped into my identity. And we don’t really talk anymore. She moved, and wants to leave the past behind. And I am very much apart of the past. I don’t think she even remembers most of this.

oh, I should add, we are both some type of queer now. (I believe she is bi and I’m a lesbian probably maybe idk still kinda in denial. She doesn’t know I’m not straight)

TO BE CLEAR anon did give me permission to post this but oh my gosh . i always say that there’s no such thing as a unique experience but every one of these homoerotic codependent friendship stories like knocks me out (figuratively) because GOD DAMN . were we all going through it as children or what

its crazy to me that someone can have such a big impact on your formative years and then just not be part of your life anymore -> i was talking about my version of the homoerotic friendship/relationship and how there is a part of my life where i cant recall a single day i didnt spend with the girl and now we have each other blocked everywhere and obviously don't talk

im really sorry that the whole experience ended up souring for her (and you) :( im a big believer that people that are meant to be in your life will come and find you and i honestly doubt she doesn't remember any of it (since it seems like it was a very, like, impactful couple of years?) i hope that you can find closure about all of this

the fact that you realised you were sort of queer at such a young age boggles my mind but at the same time i guess we all have different ages of like realization -> not really surprised ur both queer especially considering *gestures vaguely* all that

re: lesbianism still kind of in denial why are you in denial out of curiosity?

[polyamorouscultureis]

so this is a specific situation and uh i’d normally talk about it to my best friend bc she’s the only irl person who knows i’m a relationship anarchist but i can’t because it’s about her so i figured id see if you have any advice. so basically we’ve been besties for a few years (i’m in high school) and abt two years ago i had a crush on her and at that time neither of us had really been in a romantic relationship and it was my first real crush, i told her about she didn’t feel the same way and wasn’t ready for any romantic relationships anyway, so i pretty much got over it after a couple months and everything was cool. about a year ago we both started having romantic relationships and honestly none of the people either of us have dated were super great. anyway i’ve been single for a while and so this one time we had a sleepover together we were talking about how dating is hard and how you can’t really tell if people actually like you or just want to date somebody and she wa specifically saying how she wished she could just like kiss her friends and it not be weird (she referenced britney and santanas relationship at the beginning of glee!) and was was agreed with her and later we were cuddling and holding hands (which is pretty normal for us to do, i’m really touchy with my close friends which i actually found out bc of her) but like it felt more intimate than usual? like she was stroking my hair and tracing her fingers down my back and it was really sweet (while a slowed down version of teenage dream by katie perry was playing which feels like it means something) and i kissed her on the cheek/jawbone and she giggled and said i was cute! but ik she has a tendency to just kinda date people or let ppl kiss her bc she doesn’t wanna have to tell people no so i asked if it was okay that i did that and she was like “yeah it’s cool, i trust you, just keep it kinda private”(she’s v private about affection so it’s cool) and after we stopped cuddling she was joking around and sitting on her lap and uh i asked if i could kiss her (at the time i felt very platonic about it) and she said i could, so i did. and it was nice! not the most fireworks he he kiss i’ve had but it is the only one that i don’t think i’ll regret which is probably more important. but anyway a couple weeks later i start having kinda crushy feelings for her again, made a playlist and everything, but i can’t really tell if it’s queerplatonic/ alterous or a ‘normal’ romantic crush bc frankly i’m bad at understanding my own feelings. i think though that i want some sort of romantic friendship with her. honestly i’ve had romantic feelings on and off but she’s always a super important person in my life but she gets so busy i her worried our friendships more important to me than it is her and that feeling kinda sucks even when it’s wrong. but the problem is whatever the feelings are i don’t feel like i can tell her about it bc she started dating someone right after that day where we kissed so i never got the chance to talk about it and she’s Very much monogamous, she’s super supportive of me and whatever style relationships i want and but polyam just isn’t for her at all, so like what do i do? do i tell her i want a queer platonic relationship? do i keep it to myself until i’ve totally figured out what it is i want? or until she’s not in a relationship anymore??? (sorry for rambling on)

First of all this is so extremely cute <33

Second of all, it's hard to give advice in situations like this because there are so many unknowns. It's always a risk telling someone your feelings, especially if in the past they havent reciprocated. And it seems like you feel there is more to lose this time.

I guess the questions to ask yourself are, would it be more painful for you if she decided to stop being flirtatious with you because she didn't want to lead you on, or if she continued to flirt with you platonically after establishing that it will never be in a romantic capacity? What would change between you if you started a romantic relationship and what do you feel you miss out on without it? These are complex questions and it's sometimes hard to know what you want or how you would feel in just a hypothetical situation, but it may at least help point you in the direction you want to go. Best of luck anon!

[aroaceconfessions]

aaa i still feel guilty...

ok so basically a few years ago in school, there was this one person that i'm pretty sure liked me. i think this for several reasons.

they would always ask for hugs and stuff, this seems normal, plenty of people hug platonically but

this one time we were hugging in the hallway and a teacher looked at us and did the little smile where it's like "i know your secret hehe" and then i was like "lol i think *insert teachers name* thinks were dating oops" and then

they looked at me and they went "well should we?" and i was like "should we what" and they were like "date." and i was kinda nervous and i just said "uhhh but i'm, y'know, aro/ace" and they were like *long sigh* "yeah."

and then our friendship wasn't really the same so we sort of drifted apart but to make matters worse, a mutual friend invited us to a sleepover for their birthday and the person who liked me was gonna be there

and out of sheer awkward guilt, i said no and made up an excuse why i couldn't go.

i still feel horrible.

[peggy-uwu]

Lesbians of Tumblr I need your guidance

long story short, I went to my friends house for a sleepover last saturday (she is jp/kr, also fujoshi this is slightly relevant).

we spent the whole day watching anime and then went to get dinner at the night markets n shit, came home and watched half a movie before pausing to talk about religion for 3 hours (there's a whole story here, not relevant)

at midnight we decided it was time to go to bed so we started sorting sleeping arrangements.

she asked me if I wanted to sleep in her bed with her or in the spare room.

.

.

her bed is a single bed.

we are both 20 yr old women.

the only way we'd fit in that bed together would be to hold onto each other for dead life so we don't fall out.

why did she ask this.

I didn't think anything of it in the moment, I was just like "your bed is too small we'd fall out haha I'll just take the spare room" and she seemed kinda sad about that?

but when I saw the spare room I realised it had a double bed so I said "hey there's space, we can sleep here together!" and she was super happy about that and ran to get her blankets straight away.

we didn't cuddle or anything we just chatted for a bit, I held her hand while we talked about anime shit and school and work and stuff before we both went to sleep.

woke up in the morning everything was normal, we went about our day no problems.

but why did she ask me that. she KNOWS I'm a lesbian (no thanks to my fatmouthed flatmates who decided it was a good idea to yap about how I'm gay as hell in the car ride to the movies that one time /lh)

why would she offer,,, why would she WANT, to sleep in a single bed with her friend she knows is a lesbian. why. I don't understand. what other POSSIBLE reason could there be beside she's also gay and was flirting.

she's had boyfriends before! she's had sex with a guy before!! I know bi people exist but I don't want to ask her bc what if I fuck up our friendship? shes a fujoshi so I know she's at least neutral about gay stuff but what if she's straight? what if she thinks it's weird that I like her?? AND I DO I LIKE HER SO MUCH??? Ive never felt this way about someone before Ive never had a REAL crush on someone before but I like, actually wanna kiss her and I've never wanted to do that with anyone else before in my life. so what the fuck am I supposed to do?

HELP

[milarqui]

Scarlet Lady: Intermission

Directory | Dark Cupid

It was finally Friday, and also finally the end of classes. And the girls were going to take advantage of it!

Granted, they were planning to study for their exams, but it was also a chance to have fun together.

“It was really nice of you to invite Chloé to our study sleepover, Marinette!” Rose cheered, smiling, while Marinette gave a more strained smile.

“Yeah, well... it was nicer of her to rip up the invitation,” she replied, remembering Mme. Bustier's face when Chloé made her choice.

“But did you have to invite Lila?” Alya complained.

“Alya, Lila is five times cooler than Chloé,” Marinette said, knowing that her friend still had a bone to pick with the Italian. “And I can't exclude people.”

“Yeah, Alya.”

Yeah, she was going to have her hands full with these two.

----

Meanwhile, the boys gathered together at Kim's suggestion.

“If the girls are gonna hang out, we should too!” he suggested, and everyone else let out a “YEAH!” in response.

“What should we do?” Nino asked.

“Movie? Museum? Arcade?” Ivan offered and Adrien lit up with the last one.

“Wow, I've never been to an arcade before!” he commented.

“Alright, arcade it is!” Nino said, and Adrien put his arms around Nino's and Nathaniel's shoulders.

“YEAH!”

“Let's win Adrien all the Marigold merch!” Kim said, and Adrien was shocked out of his enthusiasm.

“YEAH!” the others yelled.

“Wait, no!” he tried to interrupt.

Yeah, he had forgot to mention that little tidbit the other week...

----

School had finally let out, and Ondine and Kagami were making their way home: since the latter's house was on the way to the former's, they had made it a habit to walk together.

“It's too bad we couldn't go to Marinette's sleepover,” Ondine commented as they passed by an arcade. “Practice is really ramping up.”

“Yes. It's unfortunate, but my mother must remain ignorant of my friendships. Excluding Adrien,” Kagami replied, which was yet another thing Ondine thought was quite messed up with Kagami's mother. She chose not to comment on it, though.

“Almost, almost!”

“Aw, you dropped it!”

She recognized that voice, and turned to see that it was indeed her boyfriend.

“Kim?”

“Wuh-hey! It's Ondine!” Kim cheered up.

“Ondine!” Max said. It was clear Kim had come out with his friends, and since she was with Kagami... perhaps it was time to help her friend meet more people?

“Hey guys! Come meet Kagami!”

“Right now?!” Kagami asked, shocked. Oh, right, she was kinda bad at this. Well, as her best friend, it was her mission to help Kagami come a bit out of her shell!

----

“Hey, Kagami!” Adrien said as he arrived, and Kagami quickly clinged to him.

“Hello, Adrien.”

“You guys know each other?” Ivan asked.

“Yeah! We have fencing together!”

Kim gave Adrien a knowing look.

“So you know each other, or you know each other?”

“Huh?” Kagami said, confused. Adrien realized what was the meaning and waved his friend off.

“Oh, no, we're just friends!”

Kagami tugged on Adrien's sleeve.

“I thought we were good friends!” she said, and Adrien took her hands in his.

“You're absolutely right, I'm so sorry.”

Nino watched with bemusement.

“You guys are definitely giving the wrong impression,” he said, bringing the two Marigold dolls he had got out of the claw machine. “Here you go, dude!”

“Thanks, but you don't have to,” Adrien said, while Kagami kept her eyes on the dolls that resembled her favorite hero so much. “I don't have a crush on Marigold.”

“Whaaat?” Nino said, surprised – so much that he didn't notice Kagami stealthily picking one of the dolls. “I'm so lost, who do you like? You wrote that poem for someone.”

“It's Marinette, right?” Ivan suggested.

“Marinette for sure!” Ondine said.

“It's obviously Marinette,” Kagami added.

“WHAT?!” Kim shouted, and Adrien turned to see him, Nathaniel, and Max loaded up to the gills with the stuff they had won. “So you don't want this stuff?!”

“Oh my Lord,” Adrien said, shocked.

Even with Kagami taking one or two things, Adrien had found his arms full of Marigold merchandise, so much that he found himself unable to open the car's passenger door. Thank goodness Nino was there, even if he was still embarrassed.

“Dude, I can't believe how wrong I was!” he apologized. “I'll step up my game, promise!”

“No worries, Nino! See you tomorrow!”

----

As Adrien got into the car, he noticed that he had his arms full of merchandise from the heroine, Marigold. It looked like he was unable to fasten his own seatbelt, so he waited until he could put everything in a secure place and fasten his seatbelt – Mr. Agreste was always very clear that, save for emergencies, Adrien had to be secured before the car even started – which was hard because Adrien didn't even know how to put things without covering the car's floor.

Then Adrien looked at him and waved one of the objects, and he nodded. Carefully grabbing the statuette of Marigold wielding her weapon, he smiled.

This was going to go into his collection.

----

“Sir, Adrien is on route home,” Nathalie said, picking one of the grapes from the dish in front of her.

“Thank you, Nathalie.”

“It was kind of you to allow him to go, Master,” Nooroo complimented, taking advantage of the fact that, for once, Gabriel did not seem to be ready to akumatize someone else.

“Bah. Who knows what my son would do to retaliate if I denied him,” Gabriel complained. “He might wear crocs.”

“Adrien's rebelliousness has been increasing since he started school,” Nathalie noted, although the memory of him cursing at her before his first day at Françoise Dupont was still fresh in her mind. She ate the grape, savoring the mix of sweet and sour.

“True,” Gabriel admitted, “but the alternative is having him wander the house and discover our plans.”

“I'm home!”

Quickly, Nooroo hid away to avoid being seen by Adrien, and Gabriel and Nathalie looked towards the lobby... where they found Adrien walking in.

Wearing Marigold antenna.

And with an armful of miscellaneous Marigold merchandise.

“My friends scored!” Adrien happily said, unaware of how uncomfortable the two adults were feeling. “You want any of this?!”

Gabriel chose to reject the offer, but she decided to pick the spinning top: it was the most inoffensive of all the objects in the pile, and she felt a bit of comradeship with the younger girl, even if they were in opposite sides of the fighting.

“My son, a Marigold fan,” Gabriel lamented, covering his face.

“It's only natural, sir. She is a hero, after all,” Nathalie replied, testing the toy. “Look at it this way: at least, he's admiring the smart Marigold and not the incompetent leader, Scarlet Lady.”

Gabriel struck the table in an uncharacteristic fit of anger.

“Scarlet Lady is not incompetent! She's the slipperiest of the whole group!”

“Ah, of course, Sir,” she replied, trying to mollify him... even though she knew very well the real reason why he said that.

Because if she was an idiot, you'd be the guy losing to that idiot.

----

Chez Marinette, the hour was getting late, and it was clear that they had worked hard – and their minds were exhausted. Marinette palmed the table and stood up.

“Studying, done! Let's party!”

“YAAAAY!” the girls said in unison.

“I gotta charge my phone, go ahead and get into PJs!”

While the girls took turns to change their clothes, Marinette ran upstairs: she did need to charge her phone, but she mostly wanted to check on the one being that lived in her room, hidden in a part of her wardrobe.

Her phone was now charging – but also prepared to cue some videos. The spicy chips bag was opened just enough to allow Pollen to access its contents without risking an accident. And the bed was just perfect for her.

“Do you need anything else, Pollen?” she asked the kwami, who smiled at her.

“This is more than enough, my Queen! Thank you for such hospitality!”

Marinette picked Pollen up and gave her a sweet kiss in the head, causing the kwami to blush slightly.

“I just want to make sure you're taken care of. Let me know if you need anything!” she said, helping Pollen into the bed. “See you for patrol later!”

As the first video of the list began, Pollen pondered something.

Am I the Queen?

----

Now dressed in their pajamas, the group had sodas and popcorn ready while waiting for their pizzas to arrive, and Alya leaned down towards Alix.

“Hey, Alix, why do you hang with Lila and Sabrina?”

Alix turned to her classmate with a quizzical expression.

“Huh?!”

“I mean, aren't they a bit girly for you?”

Alix admitted it might look like that, but she wouldn't let that pass.

“Sure, they go shopping and dress up with each other,” she said, looking as Lila laughed at an imitation Sabrina was making, “but they're fun. I like talking to them. Isn't that enough?”

She pulled her phone and opened the photo folder.

“Besides, they're sportier than they look,” Alix finished, opening the photo from the last roller derby game, and Alya felt her jaw drop.

“WOW.”

It certainly deserved the shocked expression: Sabrina's look of utter wrath as she threw another skater into the ground, while Lila cheered in the background with a maniacal face, was something she had never expected from her 'girlier' classmates.

“Yeah,” Alix sagely nodded, “they got a lot of rage to work out.”

---

Meanwhile, Juleka had offered to do make up for all the others, which they gleefully accepted: Juleka could make wonders with the most basic of supplies, and she had brought a very diverse set of makeup tools to the pajama party.

Of course, that gave everyone free range to speak of personal matters, and for Mylène – who was currently in Juleka's capable hands – there was a matter she was really curious about.

“I never got to hear how you two got together,” she said, nodding at Juleka and Rose, who was acting as Juleka's 'assistant'. Rose giggled.

“You could say it took a while for us to get on the same page!”

“Huh?”

----

“Wanna get ice cream?” Rose asked.

Does she mean as a friend? Juleka thought, blushing.

----

“Will you go to the movie with me?” Rose asked, blushing.

As a friend, right? Juleka thought, uncertain.

----

“I love you, Juleka,” Rose said, kissing her for the first time.

As a friend?! Juleka thought, her face burning from the clash of thoughts. And because Rose's lips felt really nice against hers.

----

Juleka tried to push back those embarrassing moments to the back of her head, and turned to do her wonders on the party host.

“Is there someone you like, Marinette?” she asked, and Marinette smiled.

“There is, but... I don't think I should go for it.”

“Why not?!” Rose cried out: she was a sucker for romance stories, and seeing her friend lose hope in her own romance was something she disliked.

“He's a very busy guy with an erratic schedule, and I've been getting busier myself,” Marinette explained. “It's just not fair to either of us. I'm doing what I can to support him.”

Juleka pulled a spray and aimed at Marinette, who closed her eyes.

“Well, don't forget you have other options,” she said, pressing it.

“'Other options'?” Marinette asked, just as the doorbell rang. Shaking her face off, she rushed to the door.

“Pizza for you!” the delivery boy said, and she smiled when she saw who it was.

“Luka!”

Marinette picked up the boxes – feeling her face getting as warm as the pizzas – and invited Luka inside while she got the cash.

“Hey, Jules,” Luka said, greeting his little sister.

“Guys, this is my brother, Luka,” Juleka presented him.

“Hey, Luka,” Lila intervened, entranced. “Are you Juleka's older or younger brother.”

“Older,” Luka said, smirking.

“How much older?” Lila insisted.

“Older.”

Lila pouted at being denied such critical information about the cute boy in front of her, but her interrogation was interrupted when Marinette returned with the money.

“Here, Luka,” she said, adding a tip for the boy's work. Luka smiled at her.

“Thanks. You look really pretty, Marinette,” he said in an appreciative tone, making her blush even harder.

“T-Thanks!”

The moment was interrupted when Juleka grabbed a cushion.

“Okay, time for dumb boys to get out,” she declared, slamming the cushion on Luka's face.

“AH!” Luka complained, causing Alix to laugh as he tried to regain his dignity and left. The girls picked up everything they'd need for dinner and placed it around the table.

That was when Sabrina found a box full of toys and dolls.

“Huh? Marinette, what's all this stuff?” she asked, curious, and Marinette turned to her friend.

“Oh, that,” she said, picking the Marigold doll she had crafted a couple of weeks before. “It's for when I babysit! I had to make my own because they used to not make any. Scarlet Lady only worked with expensive brands, you know.”

The girls approached the box and checked Marinette's creations: they were all hand-crafted and very well detailed representations of most of the heroes and Akumas that had shown up since past September, and even if they were a bit of a bad memory for some of them, they thought they were cute, and began to pick one or two.

Meanwhile, Alya scratched the back of her head: Marinette's comment about Scarlet Lady had shaken her a bit.

“Uh. Well, she has an important job! She deserves royalties, right?” she suggested.

“Ha!” Lila laughed. “Royalties for what, sitting on her butt while being a glory hound?””

Alya's eye twitched.

Teams had formed.

On Team 'Scarlet Lady' stood Alya (with Small WiFi), Mylène (with Pebbleheart) and Rose (with Mini-Reflekta).

“Why, you–!” Alya said, her hand itching to close around Lila's neck for a moment. “She's a hero! Everyone knows she's the best!”

On Team 'Heroes' were Juleka (with Xiaomaotif) and Sabrina (with Rogersmall and Vanishrinker)

“I don't really care,” Juleka said.

“Yeah, all the heroes work hard, right?” Sabrina asked.

Alya turned to the last team, formed by Lila (with Volpiccona), Alix (with Timecracker) and Marinette.

“Well?”

“She's the worst,” Marinette declared, thus giving name to Team 'Worst', while Lila stuck her tongue and Alix laughed.

“Marinette!” Alya shouted, and tackled her friend to pull her cheeks.

Ignoring the roughhousing, Sabrina checked over the doll of her own Akuma, remembering how she had become Vanisher.

“Y'know, Chloé is probably Scarlet Lady's biggest fan, but I never understood why. She'd even say they're best friends even though I never saw them together,” she said, shaking her head. “But maybe that's why she started blowing me off.”

“Hm,” Lila mumbled, picking Volpiccona. “Don't forget, Scarlet Lady's never humiliated Chloé like she did me. Maybe she's telling the truth.”

“Hmmm...” Lila's words were correct. Perhaps Chloé and Scarlet Lady were, somehow, friends?

“YEAH, RIGHT!” Alix exclaimed, and all the girls began to laugh at how absurd the idea was.

“As if Chloé could stop herself from posting pics all over the place!” Lila mocked the rich girl.

“More like Chloé thinks they're BFFs!” Alya cracked up.

----

The girls had gone to sleep in a good mood, and were now laying around, in different states of sleep, but all likely to remain so for the rest of the night.

All... but one of them.

As soon as she was certain the others would not wake up, Marinette carefully stood, tiptoed around the insensate bodies of her friends (particularly to avoid Juleka and Rose, who looked very cute together) and walked up to her room, where she carefully woke up her kwami.

“Ready, Pollen?” she asked, and the kwami smiled up to her.

“Mhm!”

“Buzz On.”

Opening the window as silently as possible, Marigold jumped out of her room and into the roofs of Paris, keeping an eye on potential trouble like thieves: Paris being what it was, it was not uncommon for problems such as those to appear.

However, it looked like tonight would be a calm night, as she made her way towards her accorded meeting point – where her Chat Noir was already waiting for her.

“Hey, Minou,” she greeted, landing next to her partner, who smiled at her.

“Hey, Goldie!” he greeted back as she sat next to him. “Thanks for taking on patrols, Marigold. Scar wouldn't even consider it.”

“No problem,” Marigold replied.

“Seriously, ever since you showed up, it's like I can finally relax. Even my civilian life doesn't feel like I'm drowning anymore!”

Marigold blushed slightly, looking aside with a pleased smile. This was the kind of vindication she had wanted to hear, and it felt so sweet.

“M-Merci,” she thanked with a minimum of stumbling.

“Oh!” Chat Noir exclaimed, pulling a hairband with antennas from behind him and offering it to her. “By the way, your popularity is on the rise! For you.”

“For real?” Marigold said, softly laughing. “Should I look for matching ears?!”

But, still, she put the hairband on. It was a present from Chat Noir, and she liked what it represented.

And after that, they kept talking. She didn't know why, but... she always felt so at ease when talking with him! It was so wonderful, not just because of what they had in common, but also because he was so nice.

But all good things had to end, and she brought up a particularly important matter.

“Master Fu said Scarlet Lady wasn't supposed to have the earrings,” she said.

“Yeah, he did.”

“Should we do something about it?”

“Hm.” Chat Noir put his hand to his chin. “Never really stopped to think about it. Sure, Scar does the bare minimum, but if we ever came close to defeating Hawkmoth? I don't think she'd give up her Miraculous willingly.”

Marigold clenched her fist. She had known for long how self-serving Scarlet Lady could be... and she could easily believe that she could fall that low.

“What about her kwami?” she asked. Knowing that one of Pollen's friends was in the hands of Scarlet Lady was distressing enough.

“Tikki?”

“Yeah. Can't she take the Earrings herself?”

Chat Noir shook his head, sighing.

“It's not that easy, or Nooroo would've nabbed the Butterfly Miraculous a long time ago. There are rules that kwami are bound to, apparently. Plus, Plagg says Tikki is particularly duty-bound. So long as Nooroo is in danger, she'll prioritize him over herself.”

“Poor Tikki,” Marigold complained. “It just doesn't seem to be fair.”

Chat Noir said nothing, but Marigold knew that his silence was in agreement.

The two of them watched the stars... and they thought of what the future might bring.

----

Animan

@zoe-oneesama Let's take a break, with fun times... and also the memory of Tikki being in the hands of a horrible boss.

Since we know that the Chat Noir and Marigold dolls are officially named Chaton Noir and Minigold, I thought about giving the other dolls special names.

* Stoneheart -> Pebbleheart (a pebble is a small stone)

* Maotif -> Xiaomaotif (xiao mao means little cat)

* Vanisher -> Vanishrinker (since the doll is like shrinking Vanisher)

* Volpina -> Volpiccona (piccola means "small" in Italian)

* Timebreaker -> Timecracker (if you try to break something but can't, maybe it just cracks)

[kedsandtubesocks]

okie okie, i'm a little late to the sleepover but i have the stuff to make shirley temples and pina coladas and i also have this: 💌 💗 (please have this ancient wip that i don't think i'll be continuing for reasons, but i was pretty proud of it. kinda. context removed so let your imagine run wild lMAOOO)

He shoots you an impish grin and procures a TV remote. No… He can’t possibly have… You open your mouth to protest, but he hits a button and the screen comes to life. The image quality isn’t as good as the photos but... A foreign, yet hauntingly familiar sound echoes throughout the room. You whip your head around to look at your aides, and neither of them will meet your gaze, clearly recognizing what it is they’re hearing. This is the absolute worst, you’ve never felt so humiliated in your entire life. Another gasp erupts from the speakers, and you hiss at your attendants, “Leave!”

One of them looks up, clearly worried.

“Leave, I said! All of you!” you repeat, your plea a desperate roar. The aide squeaks and she and the other girl quickly scramble out the room. You turn back toward the bratty prince, who shoos away his own attendants with a wave. Once the two of you are the only ones left in the room, you direct all your attention to that bastard, who crosses his legs, looking rather pleased with himself.  

“Seeing as you put so much effort into gathering all of...this,” you choke on the word. You don’t know what else to call it though. “Clearly, you want something, so what is it?”

He tilts his head and offers you a friendly smile, “You, princess.”

Your jaw nearly drops. What did he just say? He’s joking, isn’t he? It’s just one word, one simple word, but your mind can’t seem to process it. “I… I… I’m sorry I… I think I misheard you.” “You,” he seems almost happy to repeat it. “I want you.”

NIKU YOU ARE NEVER LATE!! As one of the best songs of our generation sang…now the party don’t start till i walk in, and that’s you ☺️

Also YES SEND IN LETTERS AND SWEET THINGS!

💌: my favorite thing about you

Niku I love how open you are, and I mean that in a way that you feel like a beautiful breeze fluttering in! You are so warm and easy to talk to! I still feel like that one kid sitting alone in the cafeteria too worried to talk and ppl think I’m annoying…and then you show up so effortlessly like we’ve been friends forever and it feels now like we have and I know it’s just because of how open you are, maybe it’s because of our Scorpio Scorpio friendship and Scorpios are mysterious little creatures but you are so lovingly open in a way that reminds me of a friend always there to talk about anything and give true advice! I appreciate your beautiful presence in my life so much ♥️

💗: send me a piece of your writing and I will English major analyze and gush over it

Okay first off I know this is a snippet but you gave me a whole layered story…one of my professors says if you can cut out a piece of your story and it can stand on itself it means you created something with substance and truly grasped story telling in the details and I see that here

I got the tension and the way we’re in the middle of a struggle between these two and then the way you described the small details??

From the “impish grin” to the way the sounds echo in the room it gives such a texture to your writing that I love!!

And then your dialogue…goodness you have such a way with dialogue that I can hear the voices so clear and it flows together like a wonderful dance!!

I LOVED THIS SO MUCH HONESTLY!!!

Okay but this made me way more 😭🥺 than I realized I would because I did this all the time in college in my workshop classes so it’s making me emo about that but also knowing how much of an honor it is to dissect and read writing from a friend I’m just…yeah 🥺

[polyamorouspunk]

so this is a specific situation and uh i’d normally talk about it to my best friend bc she’s the only irl person who knows i’m a relationship anarchist but i can’t because it’s about her so i figured id see if you have any advice. (i’m sorry it’s super long i just don’t know how to talk about my feelings without rambling a bunch)

so basically we’ve been besties for a few years (i’m in high school) and abt two years ago i had a crush on her and at that time neither of us had really been in a romantic relationship and it was my first real crush, i told her about she didn’t feel the same way and wasn’t ready for any romantic relationships anyway, so i pretty much got over it after a couple months and everything was cool.

about a year ago we both started having romantic relationships and honestly none of the people either of us have dated were super great.

anyway i’ve been single for a while and so this one time we had a sleepover together we were talking about how dating is hard and how you can’t really tell if people actually like you or just want to date somebody and she wa specifically saying how she wished she could just like kiss her friends and it not be weird (she referenced britney and santanas relationship at the beginning of glee!) and was was agreed with her and later we were cuddling and holding hands (which is pretty normal for us to do, i’m really touchy with my close friends which i actually found out bc of her) but like it felt more intimate than usual? like she was stroking my hair and tracing her fingers down my back and it was really sweet (while a slowed down version of teenage dream was playing,she picked the music, which feels like it means something) and i kissed her on the cheek/jawbone and she giggled and said i was cute!

but ik she has a tendency to just kinda date people or let ppl kiss her bc she doesn’t wanna have to tell people no so i asked if it was okay that i did that and she was like “yeah it’s cool, i trust you, just keep it kinda private”(she’s very private about affection and i get it so it’s cool)

and after we stopped cuddling she was joking around and sitting on her lap and uh i asked if i could kiss her (at the time i felt very platonic about it) and she said i could, so i did. and it was nice!

but anyway a couple weeks later i start having kinda crushy feelings for her again, made a playlist and everything, but i can’t really tell if it’s queerplatonic/ alterous or a ‘normal’ romantic crush bc frankly i’m bad at understanding my own feelings. i think though that i want some sort of romantic friendship with her. honestly i’ve had romantic feelings on and off but she’s always a super important person in my life but she gets so busy i her worried our friendships more important to me than it is her and that feeling kinda sucks even when it’s wrong.

but the problem is whatever the feelings are i don’t feel like i can tell her about it bc she started dating someone right after that day where we kissed so i never got the chance to talk about it and she’s Very much monogamous, she’s super supportive of me and whatever style relationships i want and but polyam just isn’t for her at all,

so like what do i do? do i tell her i want a queer platonic relationship? do i keep it to myself until i’ve totally figured out what it is i want? or until she’s not in a relationship anymore???

Man that really sucks. It sounds queerplatonic to me but either way that shit’s gonna eat you up inside eventually. Maybe not in a jealous way but hiding any feelings you have from someone, be it romantic, sad, angry, etc. that shit eats at you. It would be healthiest for YOUR mental health to tell her, but maybe not for the situation. I’m normally very much an advocate for “tell people how you feel!!” but honestly like I feel like telling her you have feelings for her might mess up the relationship she’s in right now (it might not! but it could). That’s a sticky situation. And I mean even if she’s chill with a qpr with you her partner might not be, and that’s totally reasonable and valid of them. If I were you I wouldn’t say anything but I feel like that’s really shitty advice to give you. Like I feel really shitty being like “lol just bottle up your feelings and keep them to yourself” but I want to be honest and not give you advice that I don’t think I would take myself. But I mean also I know that shit would eat me up inside and at some point I would have to say something. So. I guess that’s my advice. At some point you have to say something if it doesn’t go away. Because like also I’m thinking about how I (Savvy) had feelings for my best friend (this was when we weren’t very solid at all so Punk has nothing to do with this, if strictly would have been a relationship between Savvy and her not Punk at all) and like we got into this huge fight about it like we could be a qpr maybe no this is really shitty timing I feel like you’re taking advantage of me etc. etc. and like. My feelings for her did go away again. So I have like 0 romantic feelings for her anymore when at one point I think I did. That was another point of fighting for us too where I was like I think I have a crush on you but I might be making it up. I don’t get over people easily (or ever) I think she’s like the only person I’ve gotten over (twice). So like feelings can change and you might once again not be interested in something like that later on down the line. So I guess yeah, I think waiting to see if that’s what you really want is best. Because I thought for a while I wanted a qpr with my best friend and then my feelings for her faded and now I really don’t have any interest in having one with her anymore.

[insanitybl00m]

prepare to have an absolute overload of info about Bloom. I tend to stay kinda in the shadows and lurk but fuck it I’m gonna share som things about me :3

who is/are your comfort character(s)? Lullah, Chayanne, Missa and Phil

lighter or matches? Both. Depends on the situations. Am I being dramatic? Am I trying to take a cool ass photo?

do you leave the window open at night? Fuck no. It’s hot as hell and so so so humid.

which cryptyd being do you believe in? Uh none but I would fucking love to research more of them :3

what color are your eyes? Brown. I always draw my sona with blue eyes though because I find them so pretty.

why did you do that? Bro you are going to have to be more specific I do a lot of things.

hair-ties or scrunchies? Hair ties, but my hair is short soooo I don’t use them unless I need a haircut lmao

how many water bottles are in your room right now? Uhh two? Three? Idk I’m not home rn but on average two

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee? Depends, my favorite coffee drink is more chocolate than coffee and I like it cold. If I get an actual coffee coffee though I typically get a hot coffee

would you slaughter the rich? Fuck yeah. Where are we meeting?

favorite extracurricular activity? Sleeping. (Writing, reading or drawing, depends on my mood)

what kind of day is it? DUDE IVE HAD A HELL OF A DAY /POS. I COULD MAKE A WHOLE SEPARATE POST ABOUT IT

when was the last time you ate? Uhh 3 and a half hours ago???

do you love the smell of earth after it rains? I have a shit sense of smell but I love the energy. When the ground is squishy but she sky is bright :3

are you a parent? (all answers qualify) To my characters yes :3

can you drive? Technically yes.

are you farsighted or nearsighted? Nope!

what hair products do you use? Uh this one curl styling product and then normal shampoo and conditioner

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails? FUCK YEAH!! I HAVE A WHOLE BOX OF NAIL POLISH

do you say soda or pop? Soda but fun fact I hate soda. I hate any carbonated drinks so yeah no soda for me.

something you’ve kept since childhood? This one stuffed bear I’ve had since I was an infant

what type of person are you? No fucking clue. I’d say annoying, my friends would say and I quote “gay sopping wet cat. cool, silly, kind, clingy, really comfy to be around, super chill.”

how do you feel about chilly weather? I love wearing a nice jacket and pants. I wish it was colder where I live.

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing? Star gazing but then getting distracted by rambling about our thoughts

perfume/body spray or lotion? Body spray but I own none that I like so I just use lotion

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times? God. Every single time I fuck up a friendship I always replay what I could have done to fix it. Even if it wasn’t my fault.

about how many hours of sleep did you get? Uhhh…5

do you wear a mask? I used to a lot when I hated the way my face looked. I’ve grown more comfortable with it though so now I only wear them if I need too :3

how do you like your shower water? Hot. If I am not burning myself in the shower it is not hot enough. (According to science this means I am touch deprived— huh funny how that works)

is there dishes in your room? Uh if you count my empty water bottles then yes

what type of music keeps you grounded? Indie probably. Cavetown and Muffin by BBH actually probably the most

do you have a favorite towel? Not really

the last adventure you’ve been on? IM CURRENTLY TRAVELING IN EUROPE FOR THE FIRST TIME HOLY SHIT EVERYTHING IS SO DIFFERENT HERE

is there a song you know every word to by heart? Hamilton. All of act one. 90% of my playlist has songs I’ve memorized but I’ll just go with that one

what’s your timezone? This was the one I was hesitant to answer but I’m not exactly doxxing myself lmao sooo EST

how many times have you changed your url? Once. I had no followers on my other url though

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years? Uh no. The longest friend I’ve had is a 3 (nearly 4) year friendship with my bestie (atlas :3

I can’t do it in a big numbered list because of character limit so it’s in another block list but it’s the same order.

a soap bar that smells good? Anything with lavender :3

do you use lip balm? No but I should

did you have any snacks today? Yep! I had a cinnamon roll

how do you take your coffee? With a shit ton sugar

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site? YouTube and Files (I download ao3 fics to my files app so I can read when I don’t have wifi)

what’s your take on spicy foods? If only I could handle them ;m;

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it? Can I kill a politician? Or my middle school bully?? Either way one of those two

can you remember what happened yesterday? I was on a plane and I slept. So kinda?

favorite holiday film? I don’t really have one I just like watching whatever my family likes :3

what was the last message you sent? I’m calling out atlas here. Atlas said that Langa (from sk8) “looks like the most stereotypical lesbian from Canada” and I responded “he issss”

when did you first try an alcohol beverage? Uh never and I don’t plan to in the future. Alcohol doesn’t mix well with my meds and people with adhd have a higher rate of addiction so I’m gonna avoid that

can you skip rocks? Maybe? I haven’t tried in a long time.

can i tag you in random stuff? YES PLEASE

TAGGING: @atlasmothsilove (aka Bestie I frequently mention) @31nightshade @universallytravelerpirate @annimator

here’s weirder asks

who is/are your comfort character(s)?

lighter or matches?

do you leave the window open at night?

which cryptyd being do you believe in?

what color are your eyes?

why did you do that?

hair-ties or scrunchies?

how many water bottles are in your room right now?

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

would you slaughter the rich?

favorite extracurricular activity?

what kind of day is it?

when was the last time you ate?

do you love the smell of earth after it rains?

are you a parent? (all answers qualify)

can you drive?

are you farsighted or nearsighted?

what hair products do you use?

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

do you say soda or pop?

something you’ve kept since childhood?

what type of person are you?

how do you feel about chilly weather?

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

perfume/body spray or lotion?

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

about how many hours of sleep did you get?

do you wear a mask?

how do you like your shower water?

is there dishes in your room?

what type of music keeps you grounded?

do you have a favorite towel?

the last adventure you’ve been on?

is there a song you know every word to by heart?

what’s your timezone?

how many times have you changed your url?

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

a soap bar that smells good?

do you use lip balm?

did you have any snacks today?

how do you take your coffee?

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?

what’s your take on spicy foods?

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

can you remember what happened yesterday?

favorite holiday film?

what was the last message you sent?

when did you first try an alcohol beverage?

can you skip rocks?

can i tag you in random stuff?