#with PITA bread. for my DINNER

[depresseddepot]

I have yet to make sourdough bread that meets my standards for bread BUT I love my sourdough starter like a son

[livvyofthelake]

girl who wanted to watch sooo many movies this week because her work schedule was finally normal again but can’t even make it through bottoms tonight

[foldingfittedsheets]

I cannot possibly explain the love my FIL has for Whole Foods. He takes trips to Whole Foods three times a week. He delights in browsing the aisles and reading every label so he can find food with no sugars or fats or flavor. When he dies heaven will appear unto him as a Whole Foods.

For this trip he requested one day my beloved make dinner and they agreed. We both spent all day in the kitchen. I ran to the farmers market for fresh berries and even picked some from my mothers farm. I mixed up batter while my beloved boiled chickpeas.

My beloved marinated meat and roasted eggplant. They made a trip to the store for supplies. We traded the oven between us as the eggplant came out my shortcake went in. They blitzed up hummus and baba ghanoush with special servings free of spices for step-MIL. Special vinaigrette was produced for the salad. Later, kebabs of chicken and veggies went into the oven and then I whipped up my own cream.

We descended upon their hotel with three bags of food containers, laden like packmules from the fruits of our labors. Trays of kebabs and shortcake were carefully transported, bowls of dips and salads, pita bread and dressing the only premade stuff brought along, all the utensils, plates, bowls.

We laid out a feast of love that had taken all day to produce. They both praised the food to our relief but what made FIL pause was seeing the Whole Foods label on the dressing we’d brought. In a touched voice he said, “You went to Whole Foods for me? That’s so nice. I love it there.”

[libraford]

I didnt grow up eating rice, bc my mom didnt care for it. I grew up as a pasta kid. Now as an adult i am a rice adult. I am a moist protien with rice for dinner kind of adult!

Big fan of 'goop on rice.' Universal delicacy.

We're trying to mix up our starches so we don't get bored.

We love a good potato. Put stew over a mashed potato. Classic.

Been enjoying couscous. Pretty much anything that goes on rice can go on couscous.

Rice, obviously, but I learned a recipe where you soak saffron in white wine, then mix that in with chicken stock instead of water. Really good!

Today we had Rice noodles in miso and it was a tasty!

Pastas of course, but it can't just be spaghetti. The shapes of tge pasta are important. I really like orzo these days.

Cornmeal mash is great with chili over top.

I found a recipe in that Asian cookbook that's basically corn mixed with mashed potatoes, breaded and fried and omg...fuckin delish.

Bread, but like... a good crusty bread like sourdough or an enriched dough like challah. Or Naan or pitas. Love a good dippin bread.

Freaking love carbs. I will not listen to any slander against them.

[drunkwhenimadethis]

Tonight for dinner I am making lemon dill potato wedges and then pitas, mine will have breaded chicken (once the bitch defrosts!) and red onion, cucumber, kalamata olives, hothouse tomato, feta, tzatziki maybe hot honey. Also going to make my twin the same but hers with fried halloumi cheese because she's vegetarian. Queen shit

[ritcchamadayo]

Hear me out, what if for Valentine's Day, Jamil's s/o does all his chores for him in secret? Not only that, they invite him to Ramshackle for a feast dedicated to him because he's worked so hard?

awww (⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠) anon thats so sweet!! all the love for Jamil, he deserves a rest from time to time!

Only for You

Jamil Viper x Reader ; For your overworked, responsible boyfriend Jamil Viper, you decide to make this year's Valentine's the best he's ever had! (It's kinda my first time writing Jamil, so I hope I do him justice~)

"...Huh?"

To say that he was surprised is more than an understatement. Jamil woke up early that day, got himself dressed and even took his time making sure his braids were in perfect position. He was sure he's ready to tackle all the chores and favors Kalim might give him today, but...

He definitely didn't expect a fully-dressed Kalim to be setting the table for breakfast, and he certainly didn't expect the scent of Eggs Lahsa and toasted Pita breads filling the entire domitory.

"Good morning Jamil!" Kalim beamed, pulling the taller man towards the Scarabia lounge.

"Good morning." Jamil answered curtly, still a little confused. "Why is everyone out so early and setting up breakfast already?" He took a glance at the multiple Scarabia students in the area, holding plates and cutleries in their hands.

"You won't believe what happened!" Kalim exclaimed. "When we woke up, breakfast was already served and made in the kitchen! Wasn't it your doing, Jamil?"

Jamil was at a loss for words. "I.. I just woke up, I didn't cook anything. There's even some Shawarma fillings ready to cook..? This is more than enough for lunch and dinner."

"Huh." The housewarden shrugged. "Well, there's enough food for a feast so let's just dig in! It's rare for you to have a day off from the kitchen!" Kalim ran towards their dorm mates, with Jamil hurriedly trailing behind him. "Kalim, wait! I need to check for poison first! Kalim!!!"

---

The breakfast was positively safe and delicious, both Kalim and Jamil even found themselves enough leftovers to have a second portion. And while everyone's happy that Jamil had one less thing to worry about today, Jamil's confusion keeps on adding up during the day and the man was stunned in place when he saw the sight in front of him.

He'd usually do the laundry for his and Kalim's clothes, hand washing them personally and leaving them up on the clothesline overnight before folding them the next day. But he didn't expect the clothes he put off to clean from yesterday were all hung on the clothesline, meanwhile the dried cloths were already neatly ironed and folded, sitting on the laundry basket and lint-free, the soft scent of his usual detergent filled the laundry room.

Jamil was a cautious man though, and he had to re-check all the clothes and the folds to make sure nobody planted anything on them. Once he's sure that their clothes are all clear, he decided to run towards the kitchen. There should be some dirty dishes left, right?

Oh how he was wrong. All the pots, pans, and plates were squeaky cleaned and carefully polished, neatly put down on the kitchen counter. Jamil gasped, once again surprised and confused. "Who in the world..?" He checked each plate and pan, finding that it's been meticulously cleaned and no stains were left on them.

"Kalim's room..!"

Jamil ran towards the housewarden's room, and was just as surprised when he saw the room has been meticulously cleaned as well. The bedsheets were tidily folded and the pillows were fluffed up, the floor was spotless and polished, and even after careful inspection Jamil didn't find any of Kalim's belongings out of place or stolen.

"Who would be doing all of this, I wonder... They're definitely not looking to take advantage of Kalim, that's for sure." Jamil raised an eyebrow, opting to double check around Kalim's room.

His thoughts wandered over to the Octavinelle housewarden and his two peers, who had pulled this sort of stunt a while before he overblotted.

"Could it be Azul..? No, no way. If it was, he'd be obnoxiously showing himself around the dorm and I'd be able to hear those obnoxious clacking of his shoes. And the twins would be hard to miss, since they're big and tall."

"JAMIIILLLLL!!!!" Kalim soon ran into his room, pouncing on his childhood friend. "UWAGH- KALIM!"

Kalim laughed and rolled off the man, his hand seemingly holding onto a piece of paper. "Did you clean up the room for me? Thanks so much Jamil!" He exclaimed, the usual grin on his face. "Oh! Anyway, I found this letter in front of your room earlier! I think someone might be looking for you!"

Jamil reeled in from the impact of Kalim's body, but he quickly recovered and took the letter from Kalim's hands.

"To : Mr. Jamil Viper,

I cordially invite you to come to Ramshackle Dorm tonight at 19:00, for a special surprise. Don't be late!

~ <;3"

Jamil chuckled, looking at the all too familiar handwriting. Who else but the Prefect of Ramshackle Dorm who would send him such an invitation?

"Who is it? Who is it?" Kalim peeked from behind Jamil's shoulder, reading the contents of the letter. "Oh! It's (Y/n)!" Kalim made a smug look and nudged his friend. "Look at you, getting a surprise from the prefect!"

Jamil laughed, swatting Kamil away gently. "I suppose I'll need to be prepared then."

---

Jamil really didn't need to rush. All his chores were done by the mystery person, and his partner called him out to Ramshackle to spend some time together. He's happy, but he's also weirdly worried about the mystery man who was walking around Scarabia and doing chores unnoticed. But his partner comes first, and Jamil shook it off as he walked through the mirror and onto the path to Ramshackle.

He softly knocked on the door once he arrives, and the door quickly opened. "You made it, Jamil!" You smiled up at him, letting him inside the dorm. "I wouldn't pass up the opportunity, (Y/n)."

What surprised Jamil even more though, was the layout of Ramshackle's lounge. Instead of the usual sofa and rickety chairs, there was a small table for two in the middle filled with a lot of Jamil's favorite foods.

"Wow... (Y/n), i mean- wow." Jamil looked at awe of the spread, a light blush spreading on his face. "What's the occasion?"

You laugh, pulling the chair out and telling him to sit down. "Don't you remember? It's Valentines!"

Jamil didn't notice the date up until then. He was so focused on finding out the mystery man, he didn't realize it was February 14th. You took his hands in yours, gently holding them as he looked up to you.

"I wanted to do something for you, since you've been working so hard for everyone."

Jamil stared at your hands. It was littered with cuts and bandaids, your fingertips rough and calloused, and the skin around your nails were peeling off.

"Oh."

Then it hit him.

"You were the one going around in Scarabia and doing all the chores, weren't you?"

You chuckled shyly, scratching the back of your head. "W-was it obvious? I just wanted you to have a small break, from time to time! Since you must be tired handling Scarabia's affairs and looking after Kalim, and you're still trying your best to make time for me.. I thought I'd do something to lessen the burden.."

Jamil was more than flustered. No one ever asked him whether he needed help, or even gave him any. He pulled up the hood of his shirt, shyly averting your eyes as his fingers traced along the small cuts on your hands.

"Thank you, (Y/n.)"

"Only for you, Jamil." You giggle, moving to the chair in front of him. "C'mon, let's eat before it gets cold! I made some curry, and I even asked Kalim for a Baklava recipe earlier! I hope you like it!"

Jamil chuckles, standing up to grab the food. "Ah, so Kalim was involved. Alright, let me handle the food and washing the dishes. It's the least I could do in return for you, dear."

[remembertoeat]

Dinner Recipe: Gyros

TIME: ★★★✰

PRICE: ★★★✰

EASE: ★★★✰

CLEANUP: ★★★✰

This is another recipe that can vary dramatically in ease and time depending on how involved you want to be with it!

At its core, it's: season and cook meat, make sauce, chop veg, put in pita. Done. That takes about 15-20 minutes. This is an amalgamation of several gyro recipes I've tried to make a good at-home version. It'll never be as good as the family-run Greek restaurant, but it's pretty darn good!

(I HIGHLY recommend making your own pitas once you get comfy with it- it's just WAY tastier! Here is the Easy Pita Bread recipe I use! But store-bought works just fine! )

Ingredients: 1. 1 lb Ground Meat (I typically use a 50/50 mix of lamb and turkey because lamb is EXPENSIVE. You can totally use just ground turkey, ground beef, or even sliced up chicken breast if you want! Just be sure to season it!) 2. 1/3rd cup Greek Yogurt 3. 1 TB minced Garlic 4. Oregano, Salt, Pepper to taste 5. Veggies of choice (I use: spinach, cherry tomatoes, cucumber, kalamata olives, and pepperoncini.) 6. Pitas -Heat a frying pan on medium with some olive oil (1 TB or whatever you use to lube your pan) -Mix your yogurt, garlic, and seasonings into the ground meat. Using your hands is probably the best method but I am a baby and use a fork or wooden spoon. -Press your ground meat into the pan in one big meat patty. Let it cook like that until one side gets nice and brown (if using pieces of chicken, just cook your chicken in the yougurt marinade) -Flip it over in chunks. This keeps it from getting a super 'ground meat' texture and feels more like strips/cuts of meat. Let it brown on the other side. -Once the meat is thoroughly cooked (feel free to break some chunks up to check), slice your veg, make your sauce, put everything on the pita! Done! Easy "Tzatziki Sauce" I don't add the cucumbers to the sauce because it takes a ton of extra time. This way only takes a minute or two and you can just add sliced cucumbers to your gyro later! 1. 1/2 cup PLAIN Greek yogurt (the amount of times I've accidentally grabbed vanilla greek yogurt from the store is absurd.) 2. 1/2 TB Minced Garlic 3. Oregano, Salt, Pepper to taste 4. 1/2 TB Lemon Juice -Mix everything together. Taste test it to make sure it's salty/garlicy enough. If it's too salty, add a little more yogurt.

This will DEFINITELY make multiple servings of meat. One of my favorite things to do with leftovers is to put the meat and veg on a salad and use the tzatziki as a dressing. It's SUPER good.

[cevansbrat0007]

https://youtu.be/-KDS_NuXYHI

This is how I’d imagine Andy and jr ngl

Summary: Don't ever ask Andy about his business...

Warnings: Fluff, Girl!Dad Andy, Shady A.J., Cursing, Shenanigans, Brief Talk of Murder, Minors DNI

A/N: Part of my ongoing Growing Pains Series. All mistakes are my own.

___

You're heading into the kitchen in search of an afternoon snack when you almost collide with your son, A.J. At thirteen-years-old, he's already a good head taller than your 5"2 frame. The boy was growing like a weed – with no signs of slowing down. At this rate he was going to be taller than Andy by the time he hit sixteen. 

“Woah!” He , grabbing your arm in an attempt to steady you. “You really gotta start watching how you take those corners, Mom. I really thought you were about to run me over.”

“Sorry, honey. I was on a mission – need something yummy to tide me over until dinner. Preferably something crunchy.” You tell him before shaking off his hold so that you can wrap an arm around his shoulders. “We got anything good in here?”

“Probably not. RoRo ate the last of the potato chips last night.” He answers as he follows you back into the kitchen towards the pantry.

Well, that was disappointing. You’d kind of had your heart set on some salt and vinegar kettle chips. “That’s alright.” Sighing, you begin to rifle through the cupboards. 

Maybe you’d munch on a few sourdough pretzel bites instead. 

“Looking for the pretzels?” 

“Uh huh.” You turn to stare at him over your shoulder. “Why? Don’t tell me those are gone too?”

“Yep.” He confirms. “Dad and KitCat polished ‘em off a couple days ago.”

“Seriously?” You grunt. “But everyone knows that the ones with the honey mustard seasonings are my favorite! And they still ate them?” 

Wasn’t family supposed to love you enough not to eat your shit? Wasn’t that, like, a cardinal rule or something?

“Mom…I really hate to break it to you, but…” A.J. leans over to rest his forearms on the island, his expressive hazel eyes dancing with mischief. “We’re living with a bunch of heathens. And at this point, I really think they’re beyond help. They’re way too far gone.”

Now that makes you laugh.

“You’re probably just saying that because they didn’t offer you any.” You’re still chuckling as you decide to try your luck with some hummus and carrots you’d stashed in the back of the fridge.

“They were incredibly rude. Katrina flat out told me that hoped she offended my “delicate sensibilities”.” He grumbles with a snort. “And then she got mad when I asked her how many cats she planned on living with when she moved out after college.”

“Bet she didn’t like that one very much.” You mutter as you decide against the carrots in favor of some garlic pita bread. 

“She didn’t. Even called me a few choice names that I’d rather not repeat. Mostly because I can’t pronounce them. And I refuse to look them up.” He sniffs, turning up his nose in mock outrage. “I told her that if she wants to insult her baby brother, then she needs to do it like a normal person.” 

“Right…I’ll, uh, ask your sister to stop using the dictionary to insult you the next time I see her.” You dip a chunk of pita into your hummus before popping it in your mouth. Shit was good.

“Thank you! She’s worse than BiBi now.” 

A.J. tries to steal a piece of your snack, only to pout when you slap his hand away. You boy was seriously starting to resemble Andy more and more these days, from their facial expressions to their shared mannerisms. Sometimes it was downright scary.

“You’re welcome, darling.” You’re about to shovel another bite of food into your mouth when a thought strikes you. “Mm! Speaking of Bianca, I thought she said her boyfriend was gonna stop by."

"He did." He grunts with a shrug.

That’s…odd. You think. You hadn’t heard the door while you were upstairs. And even though you’d been laying down, it wasn’t like you’d been sleeping or anything.  

"What? When?" You cough as you choke down a piece of bread. 

“Eh, probably about thirty minutes ago.” Comes your son’s noncommittal response. “I caught him before he could ring the bell."

And now you were doubly confused. Because A.J. never really seemed to care about the boys his sisters brought around. In fact, he mostly ignored them unless they brought food or wanted to talk about video games. Otherwise, he just stared at them without blinking until his foe got too uncomfortable.

"Good thing you were by the door, I guess.” You motion for him to hand you a bottle of water sitting on the edge of the counter so that you can wash down your snack. “But where is he now?"

Another shrug. And then he looks off in the direction of the yard. 

“Dad took him out back. Might’ve said something about wanting to show him the new shed."

“But A.J., sweetheart, we’ve had that shed for over a year now.” Okay, you were officially confused. What wasn’t he telling you? And where was BiBi’s boyfriend?

“It’s new to Eddie.” He looks back at you with unrepentant eyes before striding over to the refrigerator to grab himself a couple of black cherry sodas.  

“Could’ve sworn his name was Everett, but –” You force yourself to stop and think about what your son just said. “Wait a minute! Why the hell did your father take him back there?” You quickly reach for a paper towel to wipe your hands. 

This was not good. 

“Honestly, mom…” A.J. pauses to crack open his drink. “It's best if you don't know. Dad says plausible deniability is always the way to go in these kinds of situations.” He takes a deep pull from the can before letting out a small burp. “Sorry.”

Your feelings of concern were slowly morphing into panic. 

"W-what situation? What happened with your Dad and Everett?" You look and sound as if you’re prepared to shake somebody, which prompts him to take several steps away from you. Your son was smart enough to know to keep himself out of snatching distance. 

“A word to the wise, mother. Never ask us about our business." With that, he spins on his heel prepared to walk away. “This conversation never happened."

Of course Andy picks that particular moment to join both you and your boy in the kitchen, draping a heavy arm atop his shoulder. By all appearances, he looks like he’s been busy toiling in the yard. And he’s rocking the dirty smudges to prove it.  

“Andrew – what is going on?" Your wide eyes flit back and forth between your husband and son, waiting for one of them to break. “And where is Everett?” 

“I tried to tell her, Dad.” Your son murmurs. Without missing a beat, A.J. hands his father the other unopened can of soda, which he graciously accepts. 

“I know, son. And it’s nothing, sweetheart. BiBi’s friend, Elliott, just stopped by to tell us that he’s gonna have to miss our barbecue on the seventeenth. Something about choosing to study abroad in Russia. Nice kid. Sent him along with well wishes to his family and prayers for a safe flight.” He offers you a one armed shrug coupled with an all-too innocent grin, letting you know that he’s over this entire conversation.

“But why would you –?” Shit. “I thought he was gonna spend the summer working for his Uncle in Salem? What did you do to him?” 

Just how much damage control were you going to have to do here?

Andy clears his throat as he sips his soda. “Listen to the boy.” He gives A.J.’s shoulder an affectionate squeeze. “And please, my love, don’t ever ask us about our business.”

“But I thought…” You look away for a second, squinting at your sock covered feet while you collect your thoughts and puzzle this out. “Why would you –?” 

You turn back to them, only to discover that they’re long gone. Groaning, you fetch some tylenol from a nearby cabinet and toss it back. And then you go off to find your shoes. 

Time to check the backyard. 

As long as that poor young man wasn’t somewhere buried in your garden, you’d leave your Barber Boys to their freaking business. But until then, well…

Your family might as well start calling you Nancy fucking Drew.

END

[queenlua]

For the meme, 7, 33, 50!

7. Any groceries you’ve been getting into lately?

at some point i became a potato salad snob. i used to be fine with the kroger brand mass-produced stuff but now i'm pretty much like Met Market's Red White & Bleu Potato Salad Or Bust. so when i need to get myself a little treat i go to their lil deli department and load up on that potato salad specifically. i expect at some point i will become too snobby even for this and then have to figure out how to make my own damn potato salad to meet my own highly specific tastes

also pita is pretty great??? i love lazy dinners and pita + hummus, muhammara, pimento cheese dip, etc, is just. a+++, most loved bread in our house atm

33. What’s something you collect?

i already collected stuffed animals at an alarming rate prior to meeting my partner and fortunately/unfortunately he is the worst enabler so like. i have Opinions on the best plushie brands. i have paid remailer services more than once to get me a cool plushie that was only sold in Norway or Japan or whatnot. literally this weekend i was killing time in a mall, and was about to buy the CUTEST lil woodpecker stuffed animal b/c he was just a lil guy and he was going to look great on the dashboard of my car... and then my partner had to be like "lua, don't buy it, i actually already bought one for you when you weren't looking and was planning to gift it to you as soon as we left the store" lmao

anyway yeah i thought i would grow out of stuffed animals once i was no longer a kid but turns out the only thing that's changed is better finances with which to buy more stuffed animals lol

50. Pro or anti throw pillows?

i guess i'm not anti in the sense of i think they look nice in other people's places but uhhhh. i don't think i've owned one since college and i probably haven't made my bed in like a month lmao, so yeah, no throw pillows here

[gurgling-guts]

Flatulence in Formal

written for the request in my previous post

content warning: food indulgence, descriptions of stomach noises and flatulence, humiliation

--------------------

A and B were invited to a formal dinner party with A's boss and coworkers, at their boss's house. They were quite excited, as A's boss had a wonderful property, the house with two stories and a basement, and a gorgeous botanical garden past the gazebo. Not to mention, it was her birthday, so she'd be going all out.

B pondered aloud as they finished preparing themselves for the evening,

"I wonder what's planned this time around. Last time she threw a dinner party like this we both came home stuffed to the brim."

"God, I don't know, but we won't need to eat much before we go, or after."

As the pair arrived mid afternoon, they were greeted by a few of A's friends and coworkers, and their boss, guiding them to the dining room.

A's boss bragged, "I do hope you all haven't eaten much yet today, I've quite a filling feast for us tonight."

"I'm sure, you always go all out and feed us well when celebrating like this."

They made their way to the dining room where there was a long table set to seat twenty. The display was gorgeous, bouquets of the flowers in their boss's garden, candle light, and a great spread of vegetables, pita bread, and chips with blue cheese, creamy garlic hummus, and salsa for dipping.

A and B took their seats next to each other and near their dearest friends, and began chatting, digging into the hummus, and wrapping up veggies in their pita for a delicious bite. They wondered if their boss had grown the broccoli, carrots, cucumbers, and other vegetables in her garden, as they were fresh and flavorful, picked at just the right time.

As they talked, one of A's friends complimented their slim midi dress, adorned with gorgeous patterns and lace along the slit.

"I love the way the silk makes it shine in the sunlight. It hugs your figure splendidly."

They smiled, "Why, thank you. Perhaps we should go out and have you fitted for one in your favorite color, I think you would look just lovely."

After a short while of snacking and beginning to drink, the main course would be served. The meal was blackened salmon with a side of toasted brown rice with mushrooms and thyme, and a hearty three bean salad. It smelled amazing, and they couldn't wait to try a bite of salmon with the salad. As the boss's house staff set the plates in front of each guest, A inhaled deeply, mouth watering at the scent of the mushrooms and different seasonings.

They were quick to bite into the salmon, scooping some of the rice with it. It was perfect, tender and falling apart in their mouth. It had a slight kick, but wasn't too spicy. And the mushrooms with the rice… it was a buttery and earthy heaven on their tongue. They swallowed it down with a bit of their wine, going in to try the salad. It was savory and zesty, and somewhat crunchy, with red onions, celery, and a wonderful vinegar dressing.

As they got near the halfway point of their meal, they felt their stomach rumble a bit. Thankfully, it wasn't audible, but they began to feel some discomfort. They applied a bit of pressure to their tummy, noticing a slight tightness around their belly button. For a while, their discomfort was eased as the bubbles moved along their digestive tract. Caring not, they ate more, relishing in the flavor of the salmon and salad.

As they got closer to clearing their plate, their tummy bubbled more, and pressure was building. They were feeling even more uncomfortable around their middle, and their digestion refused to be quiet any longer. A long, bubbly gurgle sounded out from A's tummy. Their coworker next to them, who happened to be a bit tipsy, heard, and decided to tease, "Somebody's got the bubble guts. Eat too many beans?"

A's face flushed, and they put their hand to their tummy, feeling how it had rounded out. It continued bubbling and building up more pressure, stretching the fabric of their dress… Their friend was quite right about the state of their tummy, and they were humiliated to have it pointed out.

"Please excuse me for those noises. I m-must've swallowed quite a bit of air.."

"Sure, that's why it's rumbling. You better be careful, I heard the boss is serving blueberry cheesecake for dessert."

A pushed away their plate, and rubbed their tummy as inconspicuously as they could, making sure to clench their bum to avoid letting anything out. They dreaded the next course and the havoc it would wreak in their gut. They looked toward their partner for comfort, not sure if they should try to stand to go relieve some pressure.

B had overheard, realizing A's situation quickly, and gave them a look of concern. They reached over to A, rubbing their side, and feeling their bloat. They felt sympathy for them, knowing they weren't only uncomfortable, but surely embarrassed from their coworker's teasing. Between the broccoli, garlic hummus, beans, and onions, they were already guaranteed a wicked bellyache, but with dairy added? Even B's gut was a bit rumbly. It was a recipe for some very potent gas, at the least.

A's belly rumbled again, and they winced, the pressure now causing cramps. They clenched tight, and waited for the discomfort to subside before standing. If they didn't go somewhere private soon, they'd be letting loose in front of everyone.

"Excuse me love, I'm going to go.. uhm..freshen up a bit before we have dessert."

"Alright my dear, are you feeling okay?"

Their tummy growled again as they spoke, "Y-yes, I just need some fresh air and a minute of privacy. I'll be back shortly."

B frowned, worried for their partner. They watched as A headed off, a hand low on their gut that now was as round as it could manage. Their dress was most certainly hugging their figure now.

Once A knew they were somewhere they wouldn't be heard, they found a seat, and relaxed their tightened muscles, unclenching their bum. A long string of loud farts rumbled out of them. The gas felt hot on its way out, reeking of all the veggies and beans they'd eaten earlier. They blushed even though they were alone, ashamed of how unruly their gut was… It was their own fault for having so much of the things they knew made them gassy. A groaned, their tummy still bubbling and cramping. They pushed, but couldn't get any more of their gas out.

Worrying about A, B decided to leave the table as well to find them. It didn't take long, as when they turned a corner in the hall, they heard A's groans of discomfort. As they walked further, a faint smell of rotten vegetables and sulfur hit B, and they found A. They looked up at B as they walked in, confused, "What are you doing here, love?"

"I was worried about you.. I know your tummy has been giving you quite a bit of trouble, and I wanted to help."

A blushed, looking to the floor, "You aren't wrong about that… but I'm alright, you don't need to do anything."

B sat with A, putting their hand on B's tummy, feeling all the bubbles rolling through them,

"I know. I want you to feel better, though. May I?"

A sighed, knowing they did need help, and relief. They nodded, "Please…"

Having A's permission, B began to massage their abdomen slowly and gently with pressure. They began at the lower right of their tummy, working their way up their right side, across, and down their left side, several times. A particularly bassy rumble began, ending in the lower left side of A's tummy.

"Oh lord.. I'm so sorry for my tummy's noises, B… I know it's unpleasant."

"You're alright, love. Your tummy is just bubbly, it happens to everyone. Here, feel mine."

A reached out curiously, pressing their fingertips to B's lower belly. Sure enough, they felt the bubbles, and realized B would be gassy as well.

B applied more pressure, working A's trapped gas, and the deep bubbles had let them know it was almost out. Their fingers reached a hard spot, and they pressed just slightly harder, causing a series of growls, and an airy, rumbling fart to erupt from A's rump. They felt some physical relief, but they were a blushing mess. They felt repulsed by their bodily functions.

"Please excuse me again…"

"Of course, love. Does your tummy feel any better?"

"Yes, only a little bit, though."

"I'll keep rubbing your tummy until you feel relieved enough to return to the table, alright?"

"Alright. I can't thank you enough, love…"

They tooted again, flooding rank air out of their irritated bowels.

"Oh goodness, the smell. I'm so sorry my tummy is like this right now. I feel terrible…"

B pressed on their tummy again, forcing more gas out their bum.

"Ex-excuse me."

"I promise you're alright. I don't mind the noises, or even the smell. I want your tummy to feel better, especially before dessert."

A groaned, being reminded of the cheesecake they'd soon be eating, even though they most definitely shouldn't.

"Thank you for helping me… relieve myself. I'm worried though, I know the cheesecake is going to make my tummy even more bubbly than it was."

"Well… do you feel less bloated?"

"I suppose. It's not gurgling much anymore, and it isn't hard to the touch."

"I think it'll be alright, then."

"If you're sure. I think I'm ready to go back."

With that, A and B returned to the table holding hands, A's tummy slightly less distended. They both sat down again, their friends and coworkers on either side greeting them.

Just as before, A's coworker was teasing, inquiring about their tummy,

"How's the bubble guts? You still feeling rumbly in your tummy?"

A couldn't help the blush that showed on their cheeks, but they brushed it off,

"I'm feeling quite alright, but thank you for asking."

A few moments after they took their seats again, the cheesecake was served. It looked amazing with the blueberries and glaze drizzled all over each slice individually. The slices were generous in portion, same as the previous course. Though they knew it would cause them more intestinal distress, their mouth watered at the thought of the taste. They dug in with their fork, making sure to get a blueberry.

The cheesecake was decadent and creamy, the blueberry glaze having the perfect balance of tartness and sweetness, and the crust with a hint of cinnamon and nutmeg. It was amazing, and though they'd soon regret it, they felt it was worth the consequences, at least at that moment. As A got full after half their cheesecake, their tummy returned to a bubbling, gurgling mess. They passively rubbed their gut, knowing they'd need privacy again soon. Their belly was so full and gassy that it hurt.

A waited for the right time to excuse themselves again, not wanting much attention, especially from the likes of those next to them. To their utter dismay, as they shifted to stand, their tummy rumbled, and a loud fart bubbled out of them. It lasted long enough to break the tables' conversation and draw all attention to A. Their coworker who'd previously teased them for their bubbly tummy spat out their drink, unable to stifle their laughter.

They flushed red immediately, humiliation washing over them, tummy still bubbling loudly.

They stammered out their words, "P-pardon me, something is-" they farted again, this time punctuated by a wet sputter, "S-something is really disagreeing with me. I'm terribly sorry for my stomach's noises and my.. my, uhm, wind."

Their boss chuckled, along with a few giggling coworkers, some of which accidentally farted as well, causing another burst of laughter at the table.

"Don't worry about it, after all, we've all had a plate of beans and a cheesecake. If you need it though, or anyone else, the bathroom is down the left hall, or up the stairs."

They nodded, and excused themselves quickly, tooting on their way to the bathroom. They spent a while in there, waiting out their gas and their shame, hoping that by the time they left the restroom, it would be time to go home. They decided to sit on the toilet, just in case anything other than gas was brewing. This time, thankfully, their timing was good, and once they returned to the dining room, everyone was standing around chatting, while the staff cleared the table.

A beelined their way through goodbyes and friends joking about their eruption at the table, and they got a couple compliments for their gas. A couple coworkers said it was "impressive." This made them feel odd… but not in a bad way, strangely. Once they found B waiting, they squeezed their hand, ready to rush out to their car.

"Are you ready to head home, love?"

"Of course, dear. Is your stomach feeling alright?"

A shook their head. Their belly was still bubbling under their skin, still bloated and stretching their dress. B frowned, and rubbed their side gently.

"Let's head out and get home."

They both said their final goodbyes, and walked out to their car. B made sure to take extra care, and helped A into the passenger's side, gently pulling their seat belt over their lap. Lucky for A, and for B's nose, their house wasn't too far, just over a five minute drive.

Once they got home, A was holding their belly, trying their best not to let anything loose in their car. B saw that they were in pain, and carried them inside, taking them to their bedroom. After undressing themself, changing into light and comfortable silk pajamas, B helped A change as well. They slid the dress over A's head, and slid on a loose nightgown that matched B. Before getting into bed, they pulled a heating pad out of the night stand drawer and gave it to A, slipping into bed behind them.

"I love you, my dear. I'm so sorry about the interruptions my tummy caused tonight…"

"I love you, too, darling. I promise, it's nothing to dwell on. Even my belly is getting rumbly. Just relax and I'll rub your tummy until we fall asleep."

A squeezed B's hand gently, letting them rub their unhappy gut, and sighed. They relaxed under the combination of the heating pad's warmth and B's soothing touch, releasing a cacophony of bubbly farts, muffled by the blankets.

B patted their belly, and kissed the back of their head.

"I hope you have sweet dreams, love."

"I hope you do, too. You're my world."

As they relaxed more into B, they kept letting out long, wet farts. The disagreeable food they'd filled up on earlier was making their gut angrier still as it all moved through them. Another wet toot rumbled out into the room, but it hadn't been A this time. B grunted, putting a hand to their gut as they pushed out a rather gurgly fart.

"Ugh, excuse me. The beans are doing a number on me, too."

Hearing B like this, the same way they were vulnerable earlier… A turned over to face B, and kissed their cheek.

"You're quite alright, darling. How about I rub your belly?"

B smiled, kissing A sweetly.

"I would like that very much."

[lanalanalanasworld]

wieiad challenge day 1 -

breakfast - masala scrambled eggs, rye bread and mango yogurt - 178 cal

lunch - prawns and pita - 340 cal

dinner - ABC juice - 80 cal

burnt (walking, pilates and dance) -530 cals

net - 68 cals

my goal is too cut my calorie intake by 100 everyday since i can’t fast ( lots of health issues ) on the 14th day of the month ill just eat 100 cals.

[adderallbastard]

made my pita bread pizza for dinner which is about 290 cals and since thats all ive eaten today id put that at a pretty solid deficit

[inflateftm]

Middle eastern food has never really had an effect on me. Nor fried food.

But this time. Oh boy LET ME TELL YOU-

I ordered some kind of cheese sticks with reaaaally thin,flakey fried dough and fried spinach thingies. I also got some kind of yoghurt dip and sliced pita bread.

I had my dinner 2-ish hours ago and my belly is rumbling,gurgling and bubbling non stop. And I mean non stop. Constantly. No breaks in between.

I'm chilling on the couch atm and I'm in utter disbelief! My belly has never ever ever EVER been like this.

I'll order more tomorrow hands down. And if I'm lucky,I'll catch some sounds.

[airfryerburrito]

One week of air fryer toaster oven meals

I can neither confirm nor deny that I tried to bake chickpea chocolate chip cookies on parchment paper in my previous air fryer toaster oven, leading to a small fire and the oven gradually failing to cook anything. I finally had to replace it, and decided to test out the new oven by making as many recipes in it as possible in one week (no paper needed).

Dinner 1: Sheet pan gluten-free gnocchi

I followed this recipe, but used gluten-free gnocchi, subbed tin foil for the parchment paper, and halved some of the ingredients to fit everything into the toaster oven on one roasting pan. I pre-heated the oven to 425 F and baked it for 10 minutes, then added the feta, then baked for another 15 minutes.

The result was flavorful, but missing something. I added air-fried Brazi Bites cheesey bread (which is gluten-free) to complete the meal.

Dinner 2: Air-fried tofu and broccoli

This was a variation on the Air Fryer Tofu and Peanut Sauce Ramen Bowl I've posted before. This time I also air-fried broccoli for 13 minutes at 425 F. I ate the tofu, broccoli, and peanut sauce with both gluten-free ramen noodles and rice.

Lunch: Pita chip nachos

I made Cookie + Kate's "Fresh Greek Nachos with Herbed Tahini Sauce" from Love Real Food, which includes making your own pita chips, a chickpea salad, and a tahini sauce. I definitely overcooked and slightly burnt the pita chips in the toaster oven, so I'd adjust both the time and temperature down next time.

[lantur]

Greece has been wonderful so far. I spent one afternoon and evening in Athens, seeing the Acropolis and going out for dinner. Highlights from 2 days on the island of Syros:

Taking a tour of a small confectionery that produces loukoumi, a traditional dessert flavored with rose, bergamot, or mastic (pine-y herbal flavor).

Swimming (a lot) in the Aegean Sea!! The water is crystal clear and a beautiful, vibrant blue. I’ve never swum in the ocean before. It was leagues better than swimming laps in the pool. It felt so calming and soothing to swim in the open sea, in the salt water. The beach I went to yesterday had no waves, so swimming felt easy.

Exploring the town of Ermoupolis on foot, visiting a gorgeous cathedral and spending some time there in reflection. I love going to religious sites - temples, cathedrals, etc. It gives me a sense of great peace and spiritual connection, and it’s one of my favorite things to do when traveling.

I also climbed roughly 8 billion stairs yesterday evening/night to get up to the medieval town of Ano Syros, near the top of the island. The stairs nearly killed me, but the views at the top, and the architecture of the town, was worth it.

The food has been so good, too. The ingredients taste so fresh. I’ve had grilled squid, sausages with fennel, stuffed grape leaves, and incredible Greek salads. And pizza! And the best pita bread and hummus.

I’m in Mykonos now and I’m really excited to visit the ruins on the island of Delos later today. :)

[oediex]

I have a tray I use for dinner, sitting on the couch, watching Netflix or YouTube, that I found in a thrift store not long ago. Today it carried my vegetable soup, topped up with fried tofu, and a small plate with some pita bread as my body yearned for starch. A glass of orange juice accompanied my dinner as always.

It is a wooden tray, painted green, with a pattern of plant stalks and smallish leaves adorned with some kind of blue berry. It appears to be homemade, the paint fairly rough and the sides of the tray worn down in places such that the underlying white primer and wood peaks through. It is beautiful nonetheless. As per the etymology of the word 'amateur', it was clearly made with love.

I wonder about the history of this tray. Who made it and why. How it ended up in that thrift store right as I was passing through, and how not a single other person saw the charm that it exudes. I am grateful, though, that it ended up in my possession, that it caught my eye amongst a collection of discarded stuff, and that its simple beauty, its lovely rusticity, never fails to lift my spirits as I go about my daily life.