#so i hope this is actually intelligible

[kharonion]

🎲 hehe 👀

KISS ROULETTE

30. A kiss to the palm of the hand. Picked Gail and Charon, and boy howdy. Even though I haven't written them in a hot minute, they're still so hecking emotional.

He’s a monster. He was made that way, into a weapon constantly set to the grindstone, sharpened and ready for whoever was to wield him—

“Bear. Are you okay?”

The quiet voice is booming in Charon’s ears. It jostles him like he’s asleep, and he blinks back into present to find himself sitting at the table still with broken-down gun in hand. Vaguely, he recalls parking himself there to clean his firearm, as he usually did. Though it never takes him long enough for Gail to express such a concern.

“Yes.” He answers curtly, but it’s quite obvious Gail in no way buys it.

They set their book aside and pat the space beside them on the couch. Green doe-eyes beckon him there. So, he sets everything down just as it is and sits where he’d been invited, with eyes cast down to his lap. Immediately, Gail directs all of their attention to him.

But, they don’t say anything. They never do. Never wanting to push the issue unnecessarily.

“How can you not see me as a monster?”

To Gail’s credit, they (mostly) maintain their composure, but he sees the sheen of tears swelling in their eyes. His hands begin to curl into fists… until a tiny set stops one of them.

“Charon,” they murmur so tender it makes his heart pound against his chest. Gail scoots closer, their arms pressing together, his hand still in that light grasp. “I never could.”

“Why?” He doesn’t intend it, but the question rumbles out as a frustrated growl. Because maybe he is frustrated.

Gail doesn’t flinch.

Instead, they hold his hand much more assuredly. Slowly uncurls his fingers, attentively tracing along each one of them. In a manner that still astounds him, they do not hesitate. Not even across the ragged edges of skin long obliterated or the patches of tendons and muscle rough with a sheer veil. And Gail watches every centimeter their fingers travel.

Finally, they look back up to him, wearing a doting smile, a few tears creeping down their cheeks.

“Because if you were one, you wouldn’t care.”

Where his heart was pounding mere moments before, it now feels as if it has stopped altogether. He’s looking into their eyes, so desperate to find… something. What shocks him the most is not knowing what he’s searching for.

… Was he searching for a reason to not believe them?

And then, Gail brings his hand to their lips. So gently presses them into the palm. 

Kissing a hand scarred by sin.

The air is pulled right out of his lungs. He feels as if he’s going to be sick. But he also yearns to lean into their space, to express what words cannot.

“You’re not a monster… not to me. Some of your pieces are broken, but that never makes you any less of a man. It doesn’t make you any less the man I love.”

Again, they kiss the palm of his hand… and then one of Gail’s thumbs is brushing his cheek. Wiping away the damp trails that’ve formed.

“My love, you treat me… better than I deserve.”

Gail shakes their head. They move even closer, craning up so their lips are so tantalizingly grazing his own. “I never can do it enough to make up for—”

Charon cuts them short with a kiss driven by the longing that’s been bubbling the entire time. He holds them tight, and yet as if Gail is made of glass—like the precious person they are.

“You do plenty, pchelka.”

[daily-odile]

Odile patting Molly Epithet Erased on the head, you know why

have two bc i care them

[akirathedramaqueen]

The Five Stages Of Grief: Verosika vs. Stolas

Alright, guys, it's time to play the complete denial card and ignore for a moment what we've just seen in the last short Viv dropped like a fucking nuke on our heads (seriously, this woman makes me swear more than a sailor).

Are we going to talk about something light? Ha-ha, you are looking at the angstiest person out here. Sorry. No relief for you.

But maybe some bits of analysis will do? Let's go.

The setup

Some time ago, I discussed how differently Stolas and Verosika react to their breakup with Blitz in response to one of my previous posts (it might be useful to read that to have the whole picture, but it's not crucial—here).

S2EP9, Apology Tour, 8:05

If we recap that reblog, I find that Stolas deals with his emotions much better and processes them in a more mature manner than Verosika does.

We could stop there, really, but I wanted to explore the situation from a different angle. Using the Kübler-Ross five stages of grief model, we can pull out more nuance from their actions and words.

They both went through a similar traumatic event—Blitzø hurt them in arguably one of the worst ways possible. The circumstances, Blitzø's intentions, and the outcomes are slightly different, but at their core, they are both left broken and deeply wounded.

Left: S2EP8, The Full Moon, 22:00 Right: S2EP9, Apology Tour, 18:03

So, what about their personalities makes their responses to trauma so contrasting?

Disclaimer about the model's credibility

This is probably me being overly pedantic, but I want to point out that this model is deemed to be popularized by the media, and professionals’ opinions are conflicted—some say it is accurate while others criticize it for its lack of flexibility or go as far as to say it has no application in real life. The studies are also inconclusive—there are papers both in favor of and against this model.

What am I trying to say here? This is a silly analysis about silly demons from a silly show, and if you do happen to unfortunately experience grief in any way (I am so sorry you have to go through this!), it is essentially experienced by all people differently. You should not feel bad if you skip stages or if their order is messed up.

Okay? <3 Okay. You’ve got this in your own way.

Tomorrow will be better than today.

Stolas: A Classic Way

One of the things I noted in my previous post is that Stolas immediately recognizes the pettiness of the party, and I praised his remarkable ability to see through the issues with such events.

The one day a year the spirits can rise amongst the living and it's spent celebrating mutual pettiness. S2EP9, Apology Tour, 6:55

And don’t get me wrong—his own way of dealing with problems is just drinking them away, and that’s not healthy. That’s why he actually belongs at this party.

But emotionally, Stolas is much more aware of what’s going on with him and the people around him. I think that despite his drinking problem, this awareness helps him process his own grief faster and find resolution—or at least an outlet—in just one night.

Let’s apply the five stages of grief model to him and see what’s going on.

Denial

You can see the denial seeping through during their morning conversation—there are moments when he clearly hopes Blitzø will suddenly listen to him and change his demeanor, despite Blitzø being consistent in his brashness and hostility.

Left: S2EP9, Apology Tour, 3:56 Right: S2EP9, Apology Tour, 4:23

Can you see the hope in his eyes? Can you see how ready he would be to brush off the whole shitshow happened between them just for Blitzø to take at least a bit of accountability or accept his feelings?

Additionally, although it doesn’t fit the term perfectly, we could stretch the concept a bit and say that the following lyrics below are somewhat denialish. Notice, by the way, that it’s not linear to the suggested model—you’ll see why later.

But I, I keep on waiting Waiting to want you less than I do And I do, oh, I do, yes I still do want you S2EP9, Apology Tour, 11:08

'Cause I am not a thief, but you were mine to earn S2EP9, Apology Tour, 11:42

He struggles to accept that the relationship has ended (we struggle too, baby owl, and we're not accepting it… but it gets worse before it gets better), and he still waits for Blitzø to return, maintaining a possessive feeling—“you were mine to earn.”

Anger

Stolas's anger is vastly different from Verosika's—I promise to elaborate on it later.

He uses his anger throughout the morning confrontation with Blitzø to protect himself from Blitzø's attacks and futile attempts to retain the status quo. His anger serves to assert that he is done with the transactional arrangement and Blitzø's behavior.

As shocking as this might seem, Blitzø, I don't think I'm in the mood to "do sex" with you. In fact, I don't think I'm even in the mood to do words with you! So, how about you respect that? S2EP9, Apology Tour, 0:57

[Stolas]: Get out. Right now! [Blitzø]: What?! [Stolas]: I'm tired of this! I'm uncomfortable how you're speaking to me now! S2EP9, Apology Tour, 2:24

And all of this happens just the night after that disastrous full moon meeting! Stolas is pissed off, and rightfully so. But he still gives Blitzø the chance to correct his behavior, explain, and apologize. He asks Blitzø to leave him in peace but stays to hear him out until it becomes clear that Blitzø is not going to relent or give in.

His anger is not used to destroy those he is angry with; rather, it is directed toward keeping himself whole—at least as much as possible.

Bargaining

The whole verse of All 2 U, where Stolas contemplates what went wrong and if there's something they could still do, represents him trying to bargain for a better future.

Maybe there's something here for us to glean? For you to teach and me to try and learn? S2EP9, Apology Tour, 11:32

Of course, this is also something very useful for when they come back together (not if!). Despite Blitzø being the focus in the Apology Tour episode, Stolas has a lot of work to do, too. And him realizing that is a positive step.

But for now, from the perspective we’re looking at, this is a clear sign of him trying to trade anything he can for their relationship to flourish.

Depression

Eventually, Stolas breaks down publicly. He can’t hold the mask on anymore; seeing Blitzø is unbearable, as it reminds him too much of everything that happened and everything that could’ve been.

You! Why are you here? I don't want you here, go home, please! Let me not feel so sad! S2EP9, Apology Tour, 15:50

And he manages to compose himself incredibly quickly…

S2EP9, Apology Tour, 16:07

It takes him just 17 seconds to fall into crying and calm himself. But there was more brewing beneath the surface—he just didn’t show it.

Calm yourself, young prince. You know excitement is unbecoming of a Goetia. S2EP1, The Circus, 00:20

Acceptance...?

Then there's the guy who received more hate than he (allegedly) deserved—Better Than Blitzo guy. He asks Stolas for a dance, and Stolas accepts. He seems to quite enjoy himself there, actually… maybe even a tad too much (arguably).

Well, I just wanted to see if... Maybe... I dunno... You'd wanna... Dance? S2EP9, Apology Tour, 16:16

S2EP9, Apology Tour, 19:08

S2EP9, Apology Tour, 20:08

Did he move on? Did he get over Blitzø? We don’t know. I don’t think so. But that dance was certainly an outlet. A relief he was ready to accept. He was ready not to dwell on negative emotions and allow himself to feel something good for a change.

Verosika: A scorched earth way

Now, let’s see how Verosika is doing after all these years post-breakup. Surely she can’t care less about Blitzø now, right?

Anger

Right… No petty feelings at all.

S1EP3, Spring Break, 8:13

There's still resentment...

A selfish imp in the sheets And just as bad in the streets A reckless, heartbreaking freak! S1EP7, Ozzie's, 11:54

Anger… to the murderous degree, actually…

Fuck Blitzo in the fucking ass! S2EP9, Apology Tour, 8:14

Disrespect...

That cock-sucking motherfucker! S2EP9, Apology Tour, 9:36

Remember when I said their anger is different?

She uses hers to fuel her determination to destroy Blitzø’s reputation. She uses her fame and all her resources to humiliate him.

She never moved past anger. Never really processed it.

But wait…

Acceptance?!

S2EP9, Apology Tour, 18:55

All it took was just one long-overdue genuine talk. The moment she saw Blitzø's remorse and let her feelings out, she immediately warmed up, stopped using his dead name, and even gave advice—it’s debatable whether it was the best one, but I believe she meant well for both Blitzø and Stolas.

Hold it, Blitzø. Y’know, if you wanna change, it just starts with saying: “Good for him, hope he gets laid.” S2EP9, Apology Tour, 19:18

You know, I feel there’s a good chance that the next anti-Blitzo party might not ever happen again.

Because she leaped through all the stages in one night, and, maybe not at that exact moment, but she is on the path to acceptance. Finally letting it go.

Baby, I'm not over it, but I'm over you.

Could've saved many years of simmering in rage and destructing herself over Blitzø though.

Conclusions

Oh shit, now I need to somehow connect all the dots, don’t I?

Well... *chuckles nervously* I guess I gotta put on my nerd glasses and pretend I knew what I was doing here and not just threw shit at the wall and saw what stuck.

What I really wanted to say is that Stolas is much more self-aware and was able to work through all his feelings and process them in one day. He went through the complete journey and made immense progress. We don’t know how it will go further, but from what we’ve seen, his emotional intelligence helps him, if not to avoid problematic behaviors like binge-drinking, then at least not to burn bridges behind him, leaving space for understanding, forgiveness, and acceptance.

It’s not to say that Verosika’s way of doing things was wrong because she was angry and skipped through some stages. It was wrong because she made her entire personality revolve around it, turning bringing Blitzø down in any way possible into her ultimate life goal. It was wrong because she never processed it.

And it shows why, even after the break-up, #stolitz can still work, given that Blitzø is open about how he feels and Stolas is open to listening to it.

AGAIN! There’s no right way to process grief. But there should be a priority to heal and accept instead of doubling down and ruining yourself and everything you cared for.

(I am watching you, Blitzø hater. Don’t you dare to shit on my poor lizard. He has his own heap of issues and has had enough after that fucking penguin slur short. So don’t. >:()

[demigodofhoolemere]

Does Disney know that one of the best friendships ever depicted on any of their television shows was that of a nerdy teenage boy and his step-uncle the redeemed former villain?

[forgetme-eternally-blissfully]

Do you ever think that when Cale was KRS, he subconsciously knew about the curse? All of those terrible things kept happening to people he cared about- so much so that it would become a recognizable pattern (that he would realize later on was an actual curse) so he unintentionally twisted his mind into the piece of origami it is now, attributing people to their worth and convenience and refusing to express care for anyone, inside of his heart or to the outside world.

… He fails at hiding it. He fails because he doesn’t even know what counts as caring about someone’s well being, he doesn’t know what it looks like! He’s only ever had his own concern towards himself (and Lee Soo Hyuk and Choi Jung Soo), and everyone who cares for him like he cares for them— dies.

He knows how to be a team leader and how to manage and take responsibility for his members, but he doesn’t want to outwardly or inwardly care. Even after finding out about the curse, he doesn’t see how he refuses to care about things.

Well- he does care about things. Arguably more than anyone else, because his internal longing for human connection is so bone-deep that he can only create reasons why he’s helping people, instead of saying that he wants to.

‘Want’ got Cale nowhere. ‘Family’ got him nowhere. ‘Friends’ left him to sweep up his broken remains. ‘Home’ didn’t last, ‘safety’ is an illusion, and ‘emotions’ have only ever gotten in his way. Time and time again, these facts got drummed and burned into his mind.

It’s all he knows. It’s all Kim Rok Soo knew for his aching, dragging 36 years of existence.

Now he’s Cale Henituse.

Those facts are still there. They’ve become deep, welded scars in his mind. They’ll never go away.

But he’s learning. Very, very slowly. Those scars will never disappear, but maybe through this story, he can learn to traverse his trauma.

I hope so.

I really, really hope so.

(Drafted: January 23, 2023)

(I found this gathering dust in my drafts and decided to post it)

[honorthysalad]

“Matsuura-san’s parent died… Hikaru’s parent also died… having your parent die… is bad.”

Thank god we’ve got Yoshiki here, modern philosopher of our time, to drop this wisdom upon us. Surely this grand conclusion, which required a whole flashback to come to, will have an impact on how Yoshiki views death going forward- oh wait, lol what am I saying? Of course it’s not!

[hawkfuller]

interview with the vampire (2022) deserves better promotion

another corn on the plate situation: amc's marketing strategy, if it even exists, sucks.

we've known this since season 1. personally, i was lucky enough to get on-board with the series early enough back while it was airing in 2022 because my algorithm knows me, knows i like (queer) dramatic pieces of media that will fuck me up emotionally for the rest of my life because i got too attached to the unstable character(s). i then convinced my equally insane friend to watch it with me (didn't take much convincing, honestly) and we've been hooked ever since, annoying people enough to tune in too.

and i know i'm not the only one. most of this show's marketing relies on its passionate fanbase, which amc is lucky to have, but mouth-to-ear promotion becomes frustrating when it seems to be the primary, and almost only, marketing tool (i say “almost” here because outlets like tvtime – thank you – have been doing the most to feed us interviews).

as of now, we've mostly gotten 2-pixel quality interviews over zoom. while i appreciate watching them because it's “better than nothing” and i love getting more content of them, whose interest does it pique other than people already invested in the fandom? we need more mainstream media news outlets to interview the cast – amc headquarters should consider themselves lucky to have cast members who love each other so much, why not use that to their advantage? give them a buzzfeed puppy interview! a gq agree to disagree interview! jacob anderson is your main actor, get him an elle song association interview! ladbible's food battle – uk vs australia vs america? get them to guess parisian vs new orleans slang? best friends test?

what will it take for amc to invest in a show that clearly deserves its already-received praise to gain a wider audience?

not only such exposure would gather more fans, but it would attract award critics attention – which the crew & cast deserve in masses. and if they wanna talk money, well, they should know the show's potential would bring a lot more capital. (it's already keeping them afloat...)

marketing investment goes a long way.

[bodiesinthelake]

still thinking about the line "you're clever! how can somebody as clever as you be so stupid?" theres SO much to unpack

[knightofleo]

[bioswear]

not to sound like some political bootlicker but i could cry honestly seeing a presidential candidate who can actually string a coherent sentence together and isn’t on the verge of having an aneurysm

[twilight-zoned-out]

Any scene in Enola Holmes 2 where Enola and Sherlock or Enola and Tewkesbury interact with each other was so enjoyable. I really appreciate that Enola and Tewkesbury didn’t have some petty argument at the beginning of the film that erased their relationship from the first film and set them back to square one. There didn’t seem to be any unnecessary conflict between the characters; they actually used and built upon the relationships established by the end of the first film.

[findmeinthefallair]

I have never, ever, had an October/birthday month this good ever before. It's surreal

[daydreamerdrew]

The Incredible Hulk (1968) #277

[theultimatekamehamehavoc]

Okay, so here's a little thing I noticed. Not sure if others have noticed this too but, hey! Why not spread the good word. Also, this thought contains spoiler talk as well so heads up if you wanna avoid those! Will warn when it happens. Ahem. Here is a sprite of Aoi I just snatched for demonstration.

Here she is closer. Can you see it?

It's the school emblem! Or like, that part of it that's in Monokuma's eye! Kinda forgot what it's meant to actually be on the emblem itself ngl. Like.. is it am abstract wing??? Not sure. I shrug like Aoi.

Here is a closer pic of her shorts and the school emblem as well.

Here are other sprites of her too which shows that it's not just a one sprite deal.

This doesn't seem like much bit it also got me thinking. This is where the spoilers come in so run while you can!!

First of all, during the tragedy and the brain wiping of the students and their memories of previously being in the school, this would mean that she had these on, right? Right before shit hit the fan? Like, when Junko did her junking around and all, Aoi would have had this get up on during that. Or, maybe not. Perhaps there is a chance that Junko put her in different clothes? Like, she intentionally picked out these shorts for Aoi as some elaborate trolling method and planted them their on her person. And, maybe she'd know that the chances of them questioning and noticing this is low but, she did it anyway for her own amusement. Also, if Junko DID redress them all before the killing game, she was really going all out with this. Very conniving of her. Maybe it was to make sure it convincing that they had never been at Hopes Peak and feed into that lie. Something along those lines. Also messed up too. Wonder if she did it herself or had Mukuro do it though... Not sure Also, now I'm curious what tools she used for memory wiping everyone though that's another question. Not sure if I'd wanna know anyway! Know for a fact that Kyoko took the longest though with her being the Ultimate Detective and her dad being the headmaster of the whole dang school! Poor Kyoko. Or... hmmm. What is the likely hood that these shorts are from the school and she got them while being IN the school itself pre-tragedy era or like... did she preorder them or something? Could a student preorder clothes from Hopes Peak High School??? Or did Aoi wear this outfit on her way to Hopes Peak or did she have MOST of the outfit on and the "Junko planted the Hopes Peak shorts on" theory happened at the same time? Or, ooh! Maybe Junko used some. She may be the Ultimate Despair and the Ultimate Analyst (think that was in Danganronpa Zero manga??) but maybe she was able apply those skills into designing shorts that perfectly matched the ones Aoi wore to school pre-tragedy but JUST with that added emblem on it to troll? So many questions! This really does makes me think. Like, imagine in an alternate timeline. Could this be evidence of some sort of how they all used to be in this school? Like, when discover that they all used to go to Hopes Peak and that they had their memories wiped, could someone be like "Hey! This is all mad and crazy and all but look at Aoi's shorts" or something? Does that make sense? Maybe? Makes me wonder too. If Kyoko was on her A-game and not struggling with the fact that she got hit the hardest with her memory loss, would she notice this detail on Aoi's shorts or like, how long would it take her to notice? I'm not a detective and I saw this after all! Again, so many questions of mine! I swear though. I dunno how much this makes sense. Though, this small detail on Aoi's sprites kept coming back to me and I have finally figured out how to word it all!

[unnerving-presence]

anybody else kinda scared in the re5r they’re gonna make wesker angry as fuck the whole time with little to no actual character besides being angry plus sometimes a cocky asshole

[bunnihearted]

i just find it kinda interesting how i get plenty of mean anons when i simply vent abt being in love w someone who's w someone else???? i've never gotten as many weird condescending and mean asks as i have venting abt this situation..... like honestly that is kinda fkn weird 💀 esp since it's one of the most normal things in life and like idk i just think it's weird that ppl see me sad abt having love for someone that cant go anywhere more and ppl are like "omfg i cant take this i have to be cruel to this stranger i dont even know just bc they're sad abt being unhappily in love". like fr wtf is wrong w some ppl... how is this anyone's business... 💀