#so frustrating to constantly end up hating the thing im working on any time its not going absolutely smoothly and easy and flawless

[thisisasupergoodidea]

ive come to the conclusion that i need to rewrite the entire chapter that i struggled through for all of 2023... hopefully not ENTIRELY from scratch, but basically from the beginning

and i gotta ignore the outline that i worked on for the book in 2023 too, bc it turned into a bloated disconnected mess that made me forget my original chapter theming template...

like, i understand that this is all part of the learning process but at the same time it feels like im throwing away an entire year of 'progress'

idk man i kinda just want to lay down on the floor forever instead 🥲

[utilitycaster]

I feel like something so many ppl just don’t get is it’s improv. I’ll see ppl be like “I hate this arc” or “this dragged on” I’m like?? If you want to watch a curated tight fantasy story with a normal beginning middle and end maybe don’t watch long form improv media? Also maybe I’m just fundamentally misunderstanding what ur post is about. I’ll constantly think and say “it’s their game” not as a “they’re above criticism” way but more in a “cmon it’s not like this is a script that’s being poured over by ten ppl sitting in a room debating whether this 30 seconds drags or not”. Like I love Play it By Ear from Dropout but I’d never hold it to the same standard as like Six the musical or whatever. Improv/normal media requires a completely different rule set for criticism imo

Hey anon,

So here's the thing - I agree with this in terms of formal, published criticism (Ebert's Law, if you will) where you are, to an extent, grading on a scale; you should be judging on what the work is trying to achieve and not some abstract ideal that applies equally to all works regardless of provenance.

However, for personal discussion (including your own personal Tumblr blog)? This is totally irrelevant. You're allowed to dislike things, whether it's a 30 minute improvised musical or whether it's the Marriage of Figaro, for any reason. It is 100% valid for someone to look at the Mona Lisa and say "eh, doesn't do it for me," and, moreover, it's just as valid for them to say "it doesn't do it for me because I don't care for representative art and prefer abstract, modern works, but Da Vinci's sfumato technique is indeed masterful" as to say "It doesn't do it for me because it's fucking weird to me that she doesn't have eyebrows." People's enjoyment of a work is not necessarily reliant on effort put in or how much the artist cares about - it should be based on how much the art appeals to them.

It's fine if people hate an arc. If they hate it so much that they aren't able to enjoy watching, then I think they should probably stop watching...but that's a choice for them to make, and as someone who loves complaining, I've talked about arcs dragging and had it interpreted by total strangers as "you clearly seem to hate this" when really it was just a case of me...not liking some aspects of a larger whole, and choosing to talk about that because I had things to say. Like, I do think the early Campaign 3 pacing was deeply frustrating, and I do think that this wouldn't be the case if it weren't improv, but there have been many improv actual plays that I felt had great pacing, and also it was still frustrating to me and I wanted to express that.

In fact, what I was getting at in my post is that if you're trying to provide a counterpoint to other people's criticism, you need to focus on the points they're making; and if you're trying to defend something in general, you need to be talking about what you find good that is specific to that thing, rather than making excuses like "the cast likes it" or "it's improv".

To give an example: I love the Aeor arc, which was, to an extent, divisive. Here's two responses I could have:

"I think the Aeor arc built up to a satisfying and emotionally charged final boss fight that was thematically resonant with the Mighty Nein as a group. I think the path there had a good balance of adventure, combat, and RP scenes, especially given its position as the final arc of the campaign and the one in which many of the character romances were realized. Eiselcross was a fun and well-crafted environment that was challenging for a party of their level, and Aeor provided new insight into the Calamity, which at the time had not been explored in depth, while also providing a lot of opportunities to tie into the arcs of the various individual characters, notably Caleb and Caduceus. I also personally am a big fan of exploring fallen technologically advanced civilizations in a fantasy setting as a trope."

2. "Well, it's the cast's table, and it's improvised."

Both are true, but the first one lets people know what I see in that arc and why I love it. The second one ends the conversation, is true of almost everything Critical Role does, probably doesn't address anyone else's complaints, and doesn't even explain why I like it. And for what it's worth I don't think meta needs to address anyone's complaints - you're allowed to look at the Aeor arc and say "cool, I think it took too long and dragged and was too stressful" and we can part ways knowing we are different people with different tastes. But if I were, hypothetically, passionately trying to defend the Aeor arc and were openly resentful towards people who disliked it, the first option is obviously superior to the second option, which makes me look like someone who cannot come up with a single specific reason why this thing I allegedly love is good, and who is whining because I lack the maturity to accept that my opinions are not universally shared by all.

[zeltqz]

I felt this needed to be sent as an ask. I know it's one of the hardest things to do (writing when your motivation is weighing) but you have to try your best NOT to listen to them (those who keep asking for updates with no consideration of what it's like for the author). Pressure ain't doing nothing but motivating negativity. I know the guilt, I've been there. At the end of the day I gave what I could and the fic ended up being discontinued a month ago. I permanently quit writing because I felt it was so overwhelming and stressful despite being something I absolutely love doing, I just couldn't take knowing people waited for my updates, I was disappointing them and that disappointed me. Talk about depression. Writers depression is very real. So eventually I unpublished my wattpad fics, deleted all my Tumblr fics, and stayed a silent reader, I wrote short poems or small works here and there for my private instagram, just whenever I felt like it. I honestly thought it was permanent. Until a friend of mine started writing which sparked my interest in it again. So I restarted my blog a couple days ago. Gave thought to what it was I wanna write and how I want this blog to be different. Atm I'm barely writing, I started 3 fics last week yet they remain in my drafts untouched with no further progress. But I can honestly say the nonchalance and freedom I have is quite nice, I try to write here and again. Or even if a single sentence or dialogue comes to mind I note it down, that gave life to another sentence and another and another until I put it together and it formed about a decent paragraph.. I'M RAMBLING. I lost track of what I was supposed to say. I don't even know the main point of this story. Forgive me. But seriously, the best advice I can give is to unburden yourself before you drown. Literally. Write what you want when you can, your wips, don't delete them!! I promise you some time later you'll definitely be inspired for them again. And when u do you'll be able to literally write more for it!! I have an idea from 2 yrs ago and it's pretty decent, with some editing it could be even better. So please don't delete them 😭😭 and don't let people push you to update. You can if you can and You can't if you can't!!! I'm here if you need any help 🙏🏻 I noticed that talking about your writing with someone who reciprocates your energy can ignite a full on passionate conversation that will lead to creating quality work!! Like new ideas or even roots to go for old works.. It's a good way to keep the motivation flowing when you're running thin 🤍🤍🤍

this is honestly the sweetest piece of advice soeone ever gave me. its so detailed and relatable too because i used to be a wattpad writer back in 2021 and then ppl kept on asking for update update update and it was so stressful so I just logged out of the account and to this day i havent logged back in 😭😭

as someone who used to be a silent reader i understand the frustration of needing an update. dont get me wrong i understand. i used to feel that exact way because fics were my only source of happiness at one point in my life when everything was shitty. but now im actually writing them, i know why some writers dont want to update so fast because its so much pressure when theres 5-6 ppl in ur inbox asking for update update update

ik how hard it is to finish a story but also how desperate it can get for the readers waiting for said update. which is the reason im constantly trying to keep writing but now i feel like i just cant. im such a perfectionist i dont post anything i dont feel is my best but rn i feel like none of my works are and its making me slack a lot and i feel like if i dont stop feeling this way then i might stop writing as a whole because its making me frustrated

writing genuinely makes me happy bc i feel like its an escape from reality (which i desperately need bc i hate my life) but i cant write good enough which is making me annoyed because i need that reality escape sooooo bad

and the reason i asked yesterday which fics of mine were peoples favourites, most of them were the series that i had deleted from my page because i reread them and hated it so bad. now im rewriting it but with this lack of motivation its one of the hardest things ive had to do in a while

and i barely talk to ppl about my fics because idk i barely recieve comments about them except for PT 2 PLS. like as much as i would LOVE to write part 2 3 4 5 6 7 etc its not motivating enough since i dont have anyone motivating me to write.

ugh this is a lot i dont except anyone to read this but THANKS FOR THE ASK <3

[luveline]

keeping up with me (this is a weird vent but it's not all doom and gloom or anything I'm just rambling cos I don't have anywhere else to say this lol) (pls don't read if it's gonna stress u out!!) tw suicidal discussion (I'm not suicidal, please don't worry) / disordered eating ment

im fighting shame off with a stick lately, im sad all the time and that doesn't make me gross. im really insecure about lots of stuff, and i feel guilt for becoming this overwhelmed because i feel like im being a bad daughter/sister/friend . i hate that being upset or just generally blue can come with so much baggage! and im constantly feeding myself positivity and it's a battle because lots of me feels disgusting but I know that it's okay to take time for myself, it's okay to want to be by myself, it's okay to want space

i know im not alone in these things, and that doesn't make me feel better or worse. I've gotten pretty good at just moving through like without the constant analysis of my feelings, but I do worry im being somebody who isn't redeemable.

beside my writing im really not confident that there's anything in me that is worth being interested in. and THAT is a whole new bag, because again as it usually goes my unhappy mood has come with a lack of motivation to write anything, which makes me feel useless like if I can't be good at the only thing I'm good at, then I'm not good at anything at all. NOT that I was even too good to begin with wh ich is my second bag — I feel super bad for my asks always being off but the "hate" lately has been relentless. I tend to just block and move on (or try, because it definitely has the power to stick in your brain) but i don't know if it's the same person over and over. t it has sapped any want to write that I had left in me. ever since that one I got about love bites I just haven't wanted to write for Eddie at all because I feel sooo stupid — and it isn't fair, bc the generous love I received for it outweighs the mean stuff by so much, but I just can't get to grips with it

it's nice though bc as I write this I'm like are you sure? is that actually what's upsetting you? and i honestly don't know. Everything feels off kilter in a way I can't work out, and it has for a little while. Which isn't to say I'm unhappy all the time, I'm not, I'm usually cheerful and ready to go, but idk ! I've been good at keeping up with everything besides eating, where I'm eating one meal a day and I honestly can't make myself eat more. I don't know why, it's not to lose weight it's just so embarrassing because its like I feel as though i don't deserve to eat properly

I feel like im constantly fighting myself and my logical brain with how I'm feeling. I know people don't resent me but I worry they should. I know I need to be eating properly but I can't make myself. I know it's okay to have writers block but if I'm not writing what worth do I actually have? The answer of course is a lot, my self worth isn't and never will be tied to what 'content' I'm able to create and i don't want to spread that narrative ever but it's still how I feel.

At the end of the day, none of this stuff actually matters. besides some hormone stuff my life hasn't felt this normal and in order in a long time. I can't work out what changed near the end of October to make me feel like this again. I miss writing but every time I try I just stop because it feels pointless. Its like I swapped chronic worrying in October for constant blues in November:( again though, I'm at such a crossroads cos it doesn't feel like a very urgent sadness and I'm not even passively suicidal as I had been in the summer, I'm just sad. I don't think that's a big deal. I'm frustrated at how it's affecting my everything else

[asbestieos]

long vent post about my shitty workplace environment, under a readmore because its a lot of frustration and its very very long

jesus christ ok i need to talk about this bc not even a minute into my shift, the shitty shift lead on at the time jumps me and tells me to train this brand new coworker for the last thirty minutes of his shift. immediately after that she leans in and mutters to me about how hes slow and both she and the manager fucking hate him. he is two feet away within earshot at the front register. i go ok no problem! (fakest smile ive ever given from under my mask) and jump right into training

turns out HE HASNT BEEN ON BAR FOR HIS ENTIRE FIRST WEEK OUT OF TRAINING. HE HASNT HAD ANY CHANCES TO PRACTICE MAKING DRINKS. hes slow BECAUSE HE ISNT BEING GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN. for so many reasons. they schedule him during peak customer hours so they force him to rush when he doesnt even have the basics down yet. they expect him to know everything straight out of two-week’s training but a FUNDAMENTAL EXPECTATION of the job is that you LEARN AS YOU WORK and you wont even have everything down pat until AT LEAST three months into the job. even then, there will still be things you dont fucking know. he doesnt even have many shifts scheduled per week so not only is he not put on bar, but also hes just not at the fucking store often per week so of course he doesnt learn as fast. not only that but i found out that shitty shift lead AND the literally STORE MANAGER both CONSTANTLY SHITTALK HIM EVEN WHEN HE IS ON SHIFT WITH HIM.

is this how we’re fucking treating new coworkers now?? how is he supposed to learn and acclimate to the store?? yes this is a fast paced workplace, yes he needs to pick things up quick but hes not going to know the recipes if hes constantly rushed, if he has no support and no one to ask questions, if hes put on food warming, if hes CONSTANTLY FUCKING BULLIED WHILE WORKING BY THE PEOPLE WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO ENCOURAGE HIM

i dont even fucking know what to say. he works again tomorrow with the same white bitches bullying him. i can only hope the brief training we did today gave him a little hit of confidence because he was literally spectacular and he was constantly looking to help with new drinks when he seriously shouldve been focused on learning. its not his fault at all, i dont blame him for trying to optimize for speed and time when hes been made fun of for being slow. im so pissed at management on his behalf. he stayed ten minutes after his shift ended to help me and i had to tell him to go home because he didnt want to leave me hanging (he shouldnt have to worry about me! or the store! especially when hes still in the learning period!). i was the only one he said goodbye to when he left. i taught him how to cancel shots because apparently his shitty trainer hadnt taught him to do that.

after he left, a coworker told me that today was the first time they had EVER heard his voice because HE DOESNT ASK ANYONE QUESTIONS. what kind of trainer / shift lead scares newbies so much, they dont ask questions?! what kind of work environment makes it so theyre scared to ask questions?! youre supposed to ask questions so fucking much in the beginning! youre supposed to be so annoying in your learning period! youre supposed to fuck up constantly! its been two hours since my shift ended and im still so fucking hung up on how horribly hes been treated. this isnt even the first trainee to face these same issues. another partner trained by the same shitty trainer WAS ALSO set up for failure in the same way.

this is fucking ridiculous! i need to think about what to do about this because we’re going to scare away all our fucking newbies at this rate! holy literal actual fucking shit!

[edelblau]

uncles celebration of life thing upcoming so ive been thinking a lot (art for family under cut) (assuming the read more function works) ->

without getting too into it my final lengthy conversation with my uncle happened when we were both kind of drunk and it was about the ethics of crediting artists. my uncle did music for a while and was creatively inclined and so i cant say why, but he took a stance of feeling that ultimately, if a company or label owns the end product, that its natural for the names of individual artists to be lost. i disagreed.

obviously given the state of inebration i wasnt able to argue my point well and ended up just crying in frustration. he forgot it the next day. but now whenever i think of him i think of that moment, of wasting time trying to argue about something the last time id see him alive. of utterly failing to even make the point i wanted to, leaving so many regrets in that last, final moment we had.

i ended up offering to draw something in his honour because its all i can do. i have no money, and im not capable of bringing him back. he lived in a different country for most of my life; what do i even really know about him?

its not that im not grieving. i feel like im constantly swinging back and forth between extreme states of grief. it feels unreal. i was convinced when i got the news it was somehow a very inapporpriate lie, or a mistake. that maybe he was alive. he wasnt that old or that unhealthy. he had plans soon before he died to see my mom. it didnt make any sense. it still doesnt. but i feel like i dont have the right to the 'big' grief that others do. i try not to burden my family by talking about it since i wasnt close enough to him to earn that. my mom lost a brother; i lost an older uncle i didnt know that well.

so i just keep thinking of the small things. things he either didnt know or wouldnt remember. that argument, reading the christmas card he sent and not knowing he had already passed while i read it. wondering how i would explain what i meant that day if i ever saw him again, even as i know that wont come to pass. wondering if, when he died, if he even knew how his death would impact me. if he lived and died thinking i was indifferent to it all just because i could not communicate otherwise.

i dont know. its hard. im scared for the celebration of life. i feel like i could keep pretending he might be alive otherwise. im scared to see his ashes. im scared for when his house finally sells and the last of the legalities are wrapped up and the truth of the matter settles in. im scared that he died thinking i hated him over a stupid argument. im scared of the fact that there's no afterlife i believe in, and thus this is already the end.

but no matter how scared i am or how much it hurts, this is all there is. writing about how i feel and then trying to bury it all. i cant change the past and i cant see or speak to ghosts. so this is just

all there is.

[wellnesscard]

okayyyy heres my rant about a lil bit of chicken fried a cold beer on a friday a pair of jeans that fits just right and the radio on

gooddddd. i lowkey/highkey hate my jobeven tho there isnt much "real" to hate on as compared to several other places ive quit. its just not my favorite. its mind numbingly boring and repetitive and still half the other managers loose their shit about doing the expected days work. i say other managers bc i am a manager which i didnt realize was the position at all until a couple months in, and if i decided to not do the training id get my pay cut from $14 to like $12. and that fuckings irks me bc had i known i was going to be responsible for ppl and things i wouldve asked for more koney when they hired me but that ship has sailed and i fuckt it up bc i thought i was going to be a line cook. and ig they need managers soooo bad they literally just paid for my serv safe n all that jazz. and i swear half the ppl that work there are fucking retarded like the last manager in training failed serv safe three or more times.. then when i passed everones like congratulations that test is really hard u did it! im like i have to get the fuck out of here Fast ohmygod. and i work with devon and its mostly fine but also drives me nuts occasionally. like were so together he just forgets stuff like telling me im manager in training or training me on any management shit at all before im supposed to start running shifts solo. im just frustrated by a lot and i want to quit but i know i probably shouldn't because its so fucking easy and i can get away with virtual murder there . its also a tiny cage of a kitchen, constantly overstaffed, and feel a bit trappt by a) devon going out n getting this job for me when we moved bc he already worked there n is buddies with the GM, and b) the GM being such a sad ass self-conscious redhead who has also just handed me a ton of free goodies. tbh they do quarterly raises and maybe if i negotiate to 15.50 ill be more okay with it all. that is/has been another struggle is making my own relationships w these people bc devon knew them all first and is a bit more boisterous than me and im trying to push past some of these codependent habits ive ended up with (started crying at this bit so u know were getting close to the truth) which is so fucking Hard when you work at his job working the same shifts or when were not i.e. today and i start crying waking up bc i have to go in alone and be manager which i never fully got trained for and be 1-on-1 with his sister who also works there and who i love but also can be very intense and volatile esp lately bc she started dating this girl whom is ..... kinda a dick ngl so thats obvy stressful. anyways yes avoiding codependency is Hard when thats the morning n he says anything i can do for u? and i half joking say work my shift? n then he does -_- and i feel like i should've just been a big girl. like if i worked a job different than my husband he wouldnt be able to cover my shift, its just the unique workings of This Fucking Place. which im fine with. i think. the walk there is amazing, even if i perpetually smell like fryer oil. fr watch me get mauled by a boar or bear omw home next week cos i smell like a snack walking home thru the woods. whatever at the same time its easy as pie and if i work it right i never have to buy groceries.

[pivsketch]

spared yall my rambling about process in the original post. u can see all that and the janky unedited scan in here tho:

used some neutral gray copics, some vermillion red watercolor i've had lying around for quite some time, on some ancient bristol paper that i've had for like. a decade. its not even cool smooth bristol! its got tooth! maybe i should be using pencil-y type stuff on it

loads of digital editing in csp to fix pretty much everything after the fact: the t-marker set was real handy for keeping things looking seamless. i also randomly picked one of the countless pencil-esque brushes i've downloaded to mimic the thin pen lines-- i think this time it was mameo pencil

ok so. i am so extremely not a traditional arts kinda guy. im flat out not patient enough for it. measure twice cut once? when i typically draw i don't measure and i cut endlessly. its my worst habit and probably why i get wrist problems 😔... working on paper, im constantly experiencing the consequences of my actions what the heck

theres no undo¹ and white gel pen/paint is not opaque enough² to take back mistakes. and you can't just keep putting down more markers and watercolors, it'll fuck it up! less is more! plan ahead of time! etc! the sheer permanence of pen ink and alcohol markers and, god forbid, watercolors is the total antithesis of how i usually work and requires figuring out a different approach to it. which is also why its useful to do. theres like, lessons and principles in there. maybe i can unlearn some bad habits while im at it. or just continue to drastically fix it in post <_< (no!!! i hate doing that!!)

anyway, heres the original scan w/o any edits to it so you can see how much i changed after the fact lol:

pretty early on i realized the head angle was completely off (oops) which affected the space between it and the arm, but, you know, whatever, i wasnt going to care it could just be bad. EXCEPT i also messed up his mouth and face and eyes and overall expression which i DID care about. moxley's got a very specific look to him in the original photo!!! i drew his eyes and brow wrong here, like hes gonna cry or wince or something. the giant eye shines dont help. anyway, the vibes were just off! the edited version gets closer to the emotions id want to depict, though i did editorialize like 7% more frustration in there just due to the nature of what ended up happening in the match. the big wild tough guy badass threw in the towel for his whole team just so the young protege wouldn't die big time! handcuffed to the corner, the only way he could do anything to stop anyone was by ending the match via surrender!! such a shame we didnt get to see that presented properly in the actual show. stop fucking it up with those camera cuts, camera operator!!!

anyway, i digress, wrestling is really cool and drawing on paper is very hard

¹ one time i pinched at my sketchbook because i wanted to pan and zoom in. very embarrassing ² i got gel pens and poscas, it aint ever enough! i could prolly just use a really thick glob of white gouache or something but application would be difficult. plus, you know, it changes the texture of the... everything.

did a traditional study of a photo from aew dynamite blood & guts (its the last image) over the weekend and then heavily fixed it up digitally. if im going to be out here buying art supplies i need to start using them 😑

[technowoah]

Taunt

It only takes one time to realize you fucked up.

- ANON REQUESTED!

- WILBUR X FEM! READER BLURB

PROMPTS!

50) "Fuck off... I mean it"

24) "Get in the car" "..." "please get in the car"

⚠︎ angst to fluff, swearing, based on the song Taunt by Lovejoy ❤🐈 its short btw yall

[Updated 3 hours after upload I messed up the prompts sorry yall now it fixed]

She was always asking if he was alright. He always lied to her just to get her off his back for the night, but it was his fault that he wanted her to move in. He has to deal with that all of the time, it was her fault anyways. She made him upset, she made him not alright. She didn't know that. She constantly complained about things that didn't even concern her, she dodged their relationship making it more about her than them.

It was tiring to him. Constantly providing, trying to tie a broken knot, but he didnt let that get in the way of his career, or his friends. There's another issue, he never talked to his friends about her. She accused him of not being proud of their relationship and that became a problem that never got resolved.

Did anyone ever say "no" to her? Well if no one did, he would be the first one to do so. Fuck that.

He listened, and listened, but nothing kept this relationship together.

Wilbur talked to the three people chatting on his discord through his headphones as a soft LED lights flowed through the room. These nights were simple because she didnt have to see him when he decides to stream, he basically has his time set out for himself without trouble. He wasn't ecstatic, he felt horrible, but the facadè was there.

Her on the other hand wasnt happy either. She never got attention from him, and of course she could get moody from time to time like every other human being, but she always took it out on him. Who else was gonna be there for her? He acted like her cared, she knew he was lying. His "caring" consisted of humming and him responding like a default character in a video game. He didn't care, he acted like he never did. She needed that attention and he knew damn well she did.

She wasnt asking for much, at least to her it did feel like it. She knew when she was wrong, but she didn't want to admit it when they were both in the wrong too. They dont get each other, she didnt know why he asked her to move in when he didn't want anything to do with her. Ever since he moved her in he kept her in check like a child, she hated and loved that at the same time. Its true that she wanted her own way, she did what she wanted and gave her attention to whoever she wanted her attention to be. She thought that was fine, but apparently she dosent give any effort to the relationship.

Rolling her eyes at the thought she decided to leave the dishes in the sink dirty. She thought about leaving and finding someone who will get her, yes Wilbur listened to her, but there was no effort. When he's drunk and tries to "figure out what makes her brain tick" ends up in more distaster.

Lying in the couch her mind began to wonder, he always said that she could get away with anything. She always took it as a taunt. Everytime it was brought up. He called it "pretty privilege" and he always taunts her saying she abuses that power.

Her jaw clenched as she recalled those memories. Summoning the courage she brought herself up onto her feet and rushed to their shared bedroom. Taking a deep breath she opened their closet and started pulling her things off of hangers, not caring if she made a mess. She tossed her clothes onto the messy bed that they didn't bother to make this morning.

Bringing a small backpack out from underneath the bed she tried shoving most of her clothes into a bag for a night. In total frustration she emptied the bag and only backed necessities that she would need for the night.

She was tired of him and he was tired of her so she was doing both of them a favor. She made her way out of the door grabbing a coat and sliding on some simple shoes. Shooting a quick text to a close friend letting them know she's coming over. Her friend wasn't that close, but she decided to walk. As she locked the door to their shared apartment she debated texting Wilbur. She didnt want to, but she didnt want him to freak the fuck out because she wasnt home.

( Wilbur )

Me: Ill be back for the rest of my stuff tmrw.

[Read]

She closed her phone and started on her night time journey down the street trying to let everything from the past few weeks go with the cool wind.

Him on the other hand stayed silent. He had just finished his stream and had gotten a text saying that she'll be back for the rest of her things. This was inevitable, one of them had to leave, but to him it didnt seem right. He didn't want her to leave. Something in his heart was making him chase her back, the same thing in his heart that moved her into his apartment in the first place. Maybe it was love, maybe he wanted to persevere and have someone in his life. Something in his mind was telling him that he let go of something special.

Wilbue thought about it as he shut everything off and went to go grab his belongings, before rushing out the door to try and find her. Sadly to his discovery, she turned off her location. He finally made it to his car and started driving towards his house to see if she was around there.

He couldn't call a friend because she never introduced her friends to him. She did that on purpose because of him not doing the same. As he drove down the not so busy streets of Brighton he thought if he could get to know her, pull emotions and feelings out of her and see the real her. And if he cant do that? Who knows what will happen.

He remembers this face she always pulled when he always said "Im alright." She scrunched up her nose in annoyance and he always took it as a taunt because he couldn't figure out the real meaning. They were both going at this the wrong way, he dosent know anything about her and maybe thats the problem, but she needs to calm down as well. She needs to start paying attention to both of them instead of herself.

He was seated at a stoplight until he saw a figure on the sidewalk walking past him. The person looked shocked then kept walking, but even faster this time. He rolled down the window to see it was Y/n walking. Wilbur ran the red light and found a place to turn the car around to follow her. He drove a couple of feet in front of her before putting his hazard lights on and stepping out of the car to confront her.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Wilbur said while getting our of his car.

"Im getting away from you. And what are you doing here?" She said.

"Well I could ask you the same thing. Its not safe out here alone." He calmed down a little. Wilbur's main goal was to get her back home so they can have a civilized talk. He didn't want to be out here.

"Oh? Ive been fine for the past fifteen minutes." She sasser back.

"That dosent mean its not safe!" He exclaimed.

She stayed quiet so that gave Wilbur an opportunity to speak.

"See, I want us to go home so we can have a civilized talk without feeling defensive. I want to get to know you, I know you're my girlfriend and yes, it was my mistake rushing things. Im not putting the blame all on myself either." He finished and she stayed quiet with her arms crossed infront of her chest.

"Are you cold-?"

"Fuck off...I mean it." She said while trying to pass hin on the street.

He stood in her way and he kept doing that every time she tried to get around him. Wilbur saw that she was getting annoyed at his actions. Wilbur held her by both of her biceps trying to hold her still so he could talk.

"You're being childish!"

"Fucking listen to me! You cant just keep walking away from us! From me! This is not healthy!" Wilbur yelled. He let go if her and surprisingly she stayed there.

"Get in the car." He ordered but she stayed silent. "Please get in the car."

She turns around gets in the passenger seat if Wilbur's car. He sighed a sigh if relief and followed her lead. They both got settled into the car and he didn't move. He wasn't going to drive unless she talked to him. After a minute if silence she spoke up.

"I know its- its both of our faults. And i have some things I need to work on. I cant just run away. Also your thoughts of me need to be rearranged, but I need to give you all of me. At leat 50 percent so we can start somewhere. But Im sorry." She said while she looked down at her lap maybe in embarrassment.

In the end they both wanted to fix themselves. In the end they wanted eachother. And they can both see that.

He leaned over the armrest and gave her a kiss on her cheek. She turned to him with a surprise look on her face, like this was the most affection he gave her, because it was true. She grabbed his hand that rested on the armrest too as he started to drive towards their home together.

As the nightly drive continues on and now shes drifting off in the passenger seat as In Love With An E-girl plays softly. She's left too tired to talk with Wilbur and be in touch with her emotions right now, but she'll do it for the both of them this time.

[starfinss]

Wingman — Akaashi Keiji

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Summary: Bokuto heard you like Akaashi and decides to be your wingman. It goes about as well as it sounds.

Pairing: Akaashi Keiji x Reader

Rating: Fluff, humor (SFW)

Word Count: 1,779

“Do you like Akaashi?”

You choked on your rice at Bokuto’s sudden question, sending you into a violent coughing fit as you pounded on your chest in an attempt to clear your throat.

“I’m sorry, what?!” You said once you could speak, taking a large swallow of water from your bottle.

Bokuto looked blankly at you, owlishly, which was sort of his default expression. “I asked if you liked Akaashi.”

You sent a glance to Yukie, who seemed to be trying her best to look innocent.

“Who,” you said pointedly, and you watched Yukie’s facade break, just a smidge, “told you something like that?”

Bokuto inclined his head in said girl’s direction. “Her.”

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “Yukie, I told you not to tell anyone. And you told him of all people?”

A pause, then offense flashed across Bokuto’s face. “Hey!”

Yukie made a pained noise. “I’m sorry! It kind of just… slipped out. We were talking about how Akaashi never seems to date anyone, and I remembered what you told me and I just… I couldn’t stop talking!”

“No offense, Yukie, but Bokuto isn’t the best at keeping secrets.”

“Hey hey, I can keep secrets!”

You pressed your lips into a thin line, hands flattened against your temples.

“Okay, prove it by keeping this one. I haven’t told Akaashi because I’ve never seen him ever show me any sign that he feels the same.”

Bokuto took a large bite of his sandwich. “Just tell ‘im anyway. What’s the worst that could happen?”

You sighed. “Don’t talk with your mouth full, it’s disgusting. And I dunno, he could reject me?”

Bokuto swallowed loudly, a splitting grin growing on his face.

“Well, what about this, (L/N). How about I be your wingman? Ey?”

Your mind flooded with all the ways that idea could go wrong, and the bad outweighed the good.

“No. No, Bokuto—“

“Come on, (L/N), let me help! I know Akaashi better than anyone, we’re best friends! I wanna do this for you, come on, let me!”

Bokuto was relentless on and off the court, and he was hard to argue with. He did know Akaashi the best, you’d give him that, even while you were friends with the quiet setter as well. Being team manager with Yukie really did have its perks.

And Akaashi really was too pretty for his own good.

You could benefit from Bokuto’s help, even if something would undoubtedly go terribly wrong in the process.

“Fine,” you relented, resulting in loud cheers, the sounds drawing the attention of the people eating lunch around you.

You exchanged a weary look with Yukie.

“I hate you,” you said, and she smiled.

“I know.”

Your eyes flicked back to Bokuto, who was bouncing in his seat.

“I have a plan.”

You put another bite of rice in your mouth. If this was going to be as insane as you thought it was going to be, you’d need a full stomach.

“Tell me.”

————————

Bokuto’s plan was horrible.

The first one he gave you involved you just walking up and kissing Akaashi, but your use of some choice language in response to that made Bokuto change tactics.

“Go into a closet—“

“No.”

“I could lock—“

“Bo!”

He groaned. “Let me talk!”

“Then stop giving me plans that could result in me being utterly humiliated!”

“Fine! Then try this. Just get him alone after practice and ask him to walk you home.”

You frowned. “We do that every day anyway. We live two houses apart.”

“Toss him some sets!”

Yukie made a frustrated noise. “I’m going to lock you in the club room.”

You gave her a fearful look. “Me?”

“No. Bokuto. But maybe you if we can’t come up with something.”

You closed your now empty lunch box. “So you’re in on this too, now?”

She grinned. “I’ve always been in on this.”

Anger simmered in the pit of your stomach. “Did you tell him on purpose?”

“What?” Yukie said, then paled. “No. That really was an accident. All I’m saying is I support you.”

“Well,” you sighed, “that’s something, I guess.”

“Lock you in the club room!” Bokuto cried, and the expression on his face coupled with the triumphant tone in his voice made it seem very much like he’d struck gold.

You paused. “What?”

“I was joking, Bo,” said Yukie.

“No, but it could work!”

It could. But you were pretty sure Akaashi had a key, so it would be kind of useless to put him in a situation he could easily get out of. And, to further this, you also had a key. Bokuto pouted when you relayed this to him.

“Come on, (L/N), let me be your wingman!”

You rolled your eyes. “Isn’t that what I’m doing? All you’re giving me is stuff like ‘lock yourself in a closet.’”

“It could work!”

The bell rang, signaling the end of the lunch period, and you stood up, stretching your arms above your head.

“I’ll see you guys at practice,” you said, “text me if you get any new ideas.”

————————

Practice was somewhat of a nightmare. Of course, it went as well as it usually did, the gym full of Bokuto’s victorious shouts and Akaashi and the other club member’s sarcastic quips. But that wasn’t the problem. Every time something needed to be fetched or the water needed to be refilled, either Yukie or Bokuto, usually with matching grins, suggested you go with Akaashi. Akaashi, of course, shut this down fairly quickly since he had no need to assist you with such menial tasks.

But Bokuto didn’t stop there, no. It was too much to hope a hurricane would stop in its path.

Because during a break, Akaashi approached you.

“Is there any reason why Bokuto is constantly asking me to compliment you?”  He said as he dried his face with a towel.

You furrowed your eyebrows, dread sinking into the pit of your stomach. “He’s doing what?!”

“Asking me to-“

“No, I heard you. I just can’t believe he’s doing that.”

Akaashi blinked, oblivious to the situation. “Is there a problem, (L/N)?”

You sighed. “Yeah. No, I don’t know. This is a mess.”

From what Akaashi told you, Bokuto had started showering you with random compliments, then asked Akaashi if he agreed.

“I just want to know why he’s doing that. Do you think he has a crush on you?”

You shook your head. “No. This is… It’s something else. I don’t really want to talk about it, sorry Akaashi.”

He looked worried all of a sudden. “Is there something wrong?”

Your eyes went wide. “No! I’m fine, really. I just— I can’t talk about it.”

“Why?” Bokuto said, strolling over, and you deflated, “do you not trust him?”

“Bo,” you warned, speaking between gritted teeth, “not. Now.”

“Isn’t this what winging is?”

Akaashi looked deeply confused. “Winging? What is that supposed to mean? Did you make up a word for spiking?”

Bokuto seemed affronted. “No! I’m her… Her man wing—“

“It’s called wingman, Bo,” you muttered.

He was going to give you away.

“Tell him, (L/N), he thinks you’re pretty, smart-“

Akaashi blinked. “You asked me what I thought about that, Bokuto.”

Bokuto faked shock. “So you don’t really think those things?”

“I never said I didn’t.”

Bokuto gave a squawk you could only assume was a cry of victory. “See? See, (L/N) Akaashi thinks you’re pretty! You gotta tell him, tell him now!”

You looked at Bokuto with pure murder in your eyes, and he seemed to falter.

“Tell me what?!”

“Akaashi!” You cried, “talk to me outside, would you?”

You looked sharply at Bokuto.

You buried your head in your hands once you were outside. “ I might as well just come out and say it, because we both know Bokuto isn’t about to quit. That massive meathead is trying to be my wingman because he found out I like you today.”

You sent Yukie a murderous look as she passed the open door, raising your voice a bit as you spoke. “Because someone told him.”

She looked sheepish.

You closed the door, only breaking eye contact with her when you couldn’t keep in anymore due to the new barrier between you.

“Well, that’s fine,” Akaashi said, “I like you, too.”

You worried your lip between your teeth. “I understand if— Wait what?”

Akaashi looked at you blankly. “I like you too, (L/N).”

You were at a loss for words. “You never gave me any signs that you liked me too.”

Akaashi leaned against the door. “I walk you home every night.”

You frowned. “We’re literally neighbors.”

“That’s beside the point. Why do you think I bring you breakfast to eat while we walk to school?”

You blushed. “I thought you were being nice.”

“No,” Akaashi stepped forward, letting his hands fall to your shoulders, “no, (L/N). I like you. You’re an incredible person, and I thought I was making myself clear with my advances.”

Well, you decided, you were a dumbass.

“Wanna… Go get something to eat sometime?” You asked, voice quiet, and Akaashi nodded.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

He kissed you, and you swear you forgot how to breathe, that you forgot your own name. You sighed softly, reaching up to thread your fingers into his hair. Akaashi was an intense young man, and kissing him, even if it was simple and innocent, was just as intense. You felt him wrap his arms around your waist with a heartbreaking tenderness, nose brushing yours as his lips pressed and ghosted against your own.

It was cold outside, but you didn’t care, not when his lips were so soft and gentle.

The door opened abruptly and you heard a shout that could only have belonged to Bokuto. You felt Akaashi smile against your mouth before he pulled back.

“I am the best wingman!” He cried, “Hey, hey, hey!”

You laughed. It felt good to laugh, especially when Akaashi was still holding you so close.

“You are, Bo,” you confirmed, resulting in more cheering.

“Akaashi got a girlfriend!” He shouted as he ran inside, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Is that what you want to be?” Akaashi asked, and you nodded.

“Yes.” You were unable to hide your grin.

“Then it’s official.” Akaashi kissed your nose, then stepped back.

“I will hold your hand when we walk home.”

You blushed at his bluntness. “I’ll hold you to that.”

“Nice pun!” You heard Yukie shout, and you groaned.

“I hate both of you!”

You didn’t. But the smile that ghosted Akaashi’s lips as you said the words was worth it.

So was the burning kiss he gave you after practice, and the feeling of his hand in yours as you walked home.

Maybe having Bokuto’s help, as disastrous as it had been, wasn’t so bad after all.

[kittydripuwu]

Heyyy I just found your blog! I have a request: a dazai x reader angst fic about pmdazai having a so, and said so was always asking him to runaway together but dazai always postponed it and one day it's too late, because his so dies

hihi, thank u for requesting, i hope this is okay <3

too late | pm!dazai x reader

words - 1168

warnings - death, swearing, mentions of violence, not a happy ending!

genre - angst

there was alot of conflict going on in the port mafia at the time, and in your life. you had been dating dazai osamu, a young port mafia executive. he was a cold and bitter person, never had mercy for others and never showed interest in anyone. anyone but you. you had meant everything to him. you made him feel ways he's never felt with someone before.

he was busy and his work was filled with blood, torture, crimes and death. you hated how busy he had been recently and you most of all hated how you felt that you always needed to be in hiding. it often felt like you were suffocating; unable to get out of this mess. even though you loved dazai with your whole heart, you hated seeing him like this, all you wanted was to runaway to some far away place with him, and start over.

running away. it was an idea you had brought up to him multiple times. he agreed when you first told him, he said he wanted to get away aswell but he said it could only happen later in the future. you understood because, when the mafia was in conflict, he had alot of work to do and didnt have time to runaway and leave. its never as easy as it seemed.

the mafia was currently involved in a huge conflict with another criminal organization that was a previous mafia ally. they were constantly being attacked and had to fight back. dazai told you to stay at home and not leave for anything unless it was food. he made sure no one in the mafia knew about your relationship so that he can keep you as safe as possible.

you would occasinally ask him from time to time, when you can run away, but he kept saying "soon" or "later" and he constantly kept postponing. it made you frustrated, you two would argue alot because of it, causing him to leave alot during arguments. leaving you confused and upset. all you wanted was to get away.

you were laying on your bed thinking, when you heard someone walk in your appartment.

"osamu? is that you?" you asked, walking out of the bedroom.

you instantly felt something hit you on the back of your head. you saw 3 men standing above you before you blacked out.

next thing you knew, you were in a cold, dark room, tied up with tape over your mouth. your head was pounding as you regained consciousness. where were you? who had knocked you out? what time was it? where was dazai? you felt real fear, for once, dazai wasnt there to protect you.

dazai and his subordinates had finally fought off the group of people sent to kill him, he was exhuasted after a long day of killing. he was walking home down an alleyway to avoid being seen on the street, when a man came up to him.

"you're the mafioso who killed our troops today arent you" he said with an angry voice.

"hm? me?" dazai replied jokingly.

"give us what we want or you're precious little girlfriend is as good as dead" he said to him.

dazai froze. did he just hear this guy correctly?

"what the fuck do you mean" he replied.

"we have her and you wont get her back unless you give us what we want" the man said, beginning to laugh.

the reason for the conflict was money. the ex - ally organization wanted a big sum of money from the mafia, but they wouldnt it give up that easily, resulting in conflict.

"where the fuck is she" dazai asked, pulling out his gun and pointing it to the man's head.

"guess you'll have to find out" said the man.

two shots were heard in that alleyway, and for anyone who would have come even a minute after that, would have seen a man laying on the ground, dead.

dazai was angry. he was furious. this was the last thing he thought would happen. this was out of his control.

he ran back home to your appartment, calling his subordinates on the way and telling them to be ready to infilitrate the enemy's base at any given moment. he looked through every room in your apartment only to find it empty and deserted. this made his blood run cold.

at this point, his anger was out of control, anyone who stepped in his way would be dead, anyone who tried to fucking touch you would be dead within seconds. he couldnt stand not knowing where you were.

meanwhile, you were still in this room, head pounding, crying, and wishing you could be with dazai, when a man came into the room and brought you to a large hall, where he sat you on a table in the middle, and held a gun to your head, knowing dazai would come to save you.

when dazai and his subordinates got to the base, they killed everyone who they didnt recognize, all of the troops who were gaurding the place, everyone was as good as dead. walking into the main building, he saw you sitting on the table, helpless, and in tears with a man standing behind you and pointing a gun to the back of your head. dazai pulled out his gun and instantly shot the man, and coming towrds you, picking you up and untying you.

he hugged you as you began to cry, holding you tight in his arms, before setting you down to hold your hand and walk beside him. as you were heading out of the building, you heard gunshots, quite a few of them, thinking more armed men were to attack.

that was before you realised that, you were the one who had been shot.

one of the armed guards was laying on the ground, barely alive but has just enough strength to be able to point his gun and shoot you from the back.

you fell down, and dazai caught you in his arms. you began to cry in pain and agony. and so did dazai. dazai began to cry. this was the first time you have ever seen him cry.

"d-dazai, i'm sorry" you coughed out.

"n-no.. why y/n, WHY" dazai screamed, holding you close to him in his arms. he felt like he was drowning, he couldnt breath.

"r-runaway for m-me one day okay?" you said, tears flowing from your eyes, pain running through your body.

his eyes widened. he rememebered all the times you two argued about running away, about how you wanted to leave, to be able to start over with him, to live a normal life. he regretted everytime he told you no, everytime he postponed the time, everytime he yelled about it.

"y-y/n im so sorry" he said, breathing heavily, and tears flowing from his eyes.

"i-i love y-you dazai" you said, and those were your last words.

he felt your heart stop beating, and his breathing only became heavier, for he knew, it was now too late.

[ennoshawty]

HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

[cryingoverafictionalcharacter]

Fist Fights and Hickeys

Prompt: Enemies to lovers smut with the teeniest bit of plot. Literally this is just pure filth. Please don’t read if you’re a minor, seriously this is not for you.

Warnings: SMUT! Swearing, Female reader, oral (female receiving),unprotected sex (I don’t have a fun rhyme explaining why that's a bad idea, just use fucking protection! dear lord, this is wizard shit im sure they have magic birth control but we aren't getting into that rn) also reader punches someone early on so violence, fluff and funny stuff at the end.

You walked down the hall as quickly as you could, just wanting the day to be over. It seems like no matter what you did today, everything went wrong. In herbology you dropped and broke a potted plant. In potions, your mixture exploded, coating you and your partner in blue sludge, which was still in your hair, and in divination, your tea leaves literally showed you an omen of death. At this point, you didn’t know how else this day could get worse.

“Hello Y/N” Fred Weasley said, sauntering up to your side. Welp, it just had to go and get worse.

“Leave me alone Fred” You said, irritation clearly present in your voice. You and Fred had a bit of a rivalry, whether it was at quidditch, or in your classes, or with pranks, the two of you were always trying to one up each other, which through the years, has created a bit of a love hate friendship.

“Somebody’s cranky” Fred joked, continuing to walk beside you.

“Somebody needs to shut the fuck up” You responded. Fred was about to reply, but before he could, someone interrupted him.

“Well well well, look what we have here! What happened Y/N, trying to go for a new look” Ethan Hawthorn said, pointing out your hair, which was still blue.

You didn’t answer, you just kept walking, Fred giving you a confused look. Ethan hawthorn was a Slytherin who you had a class with last year. The professor had asked a question, which he answered incorrectly, and when you corrected him in front of everyone, he deemed it appropriate to treat you like you had personally humiliated him in front of the whole school. He basically made it his life purpose to make your life difficult.

“Aw come on Y/N, don’t be like that, it’s nice! It distracts from your face!” He continued, him and a few of his friends now following you and laughing. Upon hearing what he said, Fred went to turn and confront him but you grabbed his arm, stopping him.

“Oh is your boyfriend trying to save you? You probably hired him to be around you, god knows he needs the money” Ethan said.

Next thing you knew, you had whipped around and punched Ethan in the face. It was a bit of a surprise to everyone, including yourself seeing you wouldn’t really consider yourself a violent person. Before you could think about anything else though, you and Fred were sprinting down the hallway towards the Gryffindor common room, Ethan screaming profanities from behind you.

You sprinted to the entrance of the common room, quickly saying the password and running inside, relieved to find it empty. After running for your lives, you and Fred were pretty tired out, both of you walking over to one of the couches and falling onto it, trying to catch your breath.

“You know he’s going to try and kill you right?” Fred asked, turning his head to look at you.

“Worth it” You said, causing the both of you to laugh a bit, before you noticed the pain radiating from your hand. You sat up a bit and examined your knuckles, which were now bleeding a bit. Fred noticed and sat up as well, before gently taking your hand in both of his, looking at the irritated skin.

“You ok?” He asked, skill looking at your hands, which you were thankful for since it made it so he couldn’t see the blush forming on your face.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine” You replied. Trying not to focus on his long fingers gently brushing over the bones in your hand.

“You’re hands are so small” Fred laughed, breaking you out of your slightly flustered trance.

“These small hands can still slap the shit out of you” You replied, taking your hand back and laughing. 

“Here I think I have something upstairs that can help with the pain” Fred said standing, you following his actions and making your way up the stairs to the boys dormitory, walking inside to once again find it was empty.

You walked over and took a seat on his bed, Fred quickly fumbling through a drawer before coming to sit next to you, a roll of gauze in his hand. He sat across from you and gently took your hand again, carefully wrapping the cloth around your knuckles a few times before tearing  off the excess and securing it in place.

“Thank you” You said holding up your hand and examining his work, only to look over and see Fred staring at you, a bit of a frown on his face. “What?”

“You shouldn’t have to deal with that guy” Fred said, the atmosphere in the room changing a bit.

“Fred its fine” You said, trying to change the subject.

“No its not Y/N! That dickhead is insulting you constantly, and for what? You don’t deserve to be treated like that” Fred said, standing and starting to pace around the room.

“You’re taking this way to seriously” You said, starting to get annoyed with his attitude. It wasn’t like you and Fred were super close. Hell most of the time you were at each others throat about whos better at what, and when you weren't doing that you were either annoying each other, or on a rare occasion, actually having a civil conversation.

 “I don’t think you’re taking this seriously enough!” Fred continued, still pacing back and forward.

“Why do you care so much!?” you shouted.

“Because I fucking love you!” Fred shouted back, stopping in his tracks to face you.

“What?” You asked, not quite believing what you just heard.

“I love you ok? I love the way you make everyone around you smile, and that you’re absolutely hilarious, and that you’re competitive. I love the sound of your laugh, and the way your eyes light up when you smile, and even when you’re being a complete pain in the ass you still-” Fred rambled on, only stopping when you cut interrupted him.

“Fred!” you said sternly, grabbing his attention.

“What?” He asked loudly, breathing heavily from his rant.

“Would you just shut the fuck up and kiss me already?” You asked. That was all Fred needed to hear, crossing the room in one swift motion and closing the space between you, leaning down to roughly push his lips against yours.

Your hands instantly went to his hair pulling him even closer, while his went to the back of your thighs, picking you up and walking you over to the bed, letting you fall back onto the mattress before quickly re connecting his mouth to your neck, biting the flesh there before soothing over it with his tongue.

You moved your hands to his shoulders, sliding them down his chest before landing at the hem of his shirt, pushing it upwards. Fred got the message and pulled away, making quick work of removing his shirt, before his mouth was back on yours, sucking on your bottom lip before his tongue met yours, swirling around in a fight for dominance.

His hands moved upwards, slipping under your shirt to roughly grab your breast, causing you to moan into his mouth. Your hands found their way to his waist, quickly working on undoing his belt. You had almost gotten it unfastened when Fred suddenly pulled away, looking down at you.

“Are you sure?” Fred asked, searching your face for any sign of rejection.

“I have literally never wanted to fuck someone more in my whole life, yes I’m one hundred percent sure” You replied

Fred didn’t waste any more time, quickly working on removing his shoes and pants, while you worked on removing your shirt and leggings, your skirt following soon after leaving you in only your bra and panties, while Fred stood in front of you, his eyes raking up and down your body, you started to feel a bit self conscious with his eyes on you, but before you could move to cover up a bit, his lips were back on yours, pushing you back onto the bed.

His lips started to move downwards, moving from your neck, to your collarbone, trailing wet in between your breasts and down your stomach before finally settling between your legs, looking up ay you before kissing down your inner thigh, deliberately not going near where you needed him most.

“Fred, please” You whined, trying to find some relief.

“Please what?” Fred asked, playing with the waistband of your panties.

“Please do anything just stop teasing- Oh fuck!” You cried, Fred moving your panties to the side and slipping two of his long fingers into you, making your back arch.

“Already so wet for me” He chuckled, pumping his fingers faster. “If you don’t like me teasing then why are you moaning”

You didn’t get the change to reply before Fred's mouth was suddenly on your core, licking a long stripe between your fold before swirling his tongue around your clit, making your head fly back and your hands grip the sheets, desperate for something to hold onto. You could feel the knot in your stomach tightening, threatening to push you over the edge, but just as you were about to come undone, Fred pulled away, removing his fingers and making you groan at the loss of contact.

“What the fuck Fred?!” You cried, frustrated for being denied your release. Meanwhile Fred was crawling his way back up your body, letting out a low chuckle.

“Don’t worry babe, I’m going to take care of you. But when you cum I want it to be around my cock” Fred almost growled, causing a chill to run up your spine before he reached behind you, unclasping your bra and throwing it to the other side of the room, your panties and his boxers following soon after.

Fred propped on of his arms next to his head, helping to keep his weight off you while his other hand moved to his cock, slipping it between your fold a few times, looking at you for permission, which you gave with a nod, before finally pushing his length into you.

“Please move” You practically begged, Fred waiting to make sure you had adjusted before doing anything.

“As you wish” He teased, a smirk on his face, before he slowly started moving, pulling out half way before thrusting back into you.

You were just about to ask him to go faster, when he was suddenly ramming into you, his head moving to the crook of your neck, sucking on the flesh there, while your hands moved to his back, pulling him closer and creating long red trails as your fingernails desperately tried to find something to hold onto.

You bit your lip, trying to contain your moans, knowing anyone could walk in at any moment.

“I know for a fact that you can be a hell of a lot louder than that.” Fred said, sucking behind your ear, making your head spin.

“Someone could walk in” You said back, trying to come up with an excuse. In reality, you knew most of the other students were in class so you didn’t have much to worry about.

 “I really don’t care. You look so fucking hot writhing under me and I’m going fuck you senseless right now.” He rasped out, moving his free arm under your knee to hike your leg up higher, the new angle making you gasp, allowing him hit your G-spot perfectly each time. 

“Oh fuck, Fred- I’m gonna-!” You cried out, no longer in control of the pornographic sounds leaving your mouth.

“Cum for me, beautiful” Fred murmured into your ear, bringing his hand down to rub circles around your clit, finally pushing you over the edge, the knot in your stomach snapping and flooding your body with pleasure.

Fred continued to thrust into you, helping you ride out your high before coming undone himself, resting his head on your shoulder as he came down from his high, slowing his movements before stopping completely, gently pulling out of you and flopping onto his back beside you, both of you staring at the ceiling, trying to catch your breath.

“That was...wow” You started, still to blissed out to think of the right words.

“Yeah... why didn’t we do this earlier?” Fred asked, causing the both of you to laugh, finally catching your breath and sitting in a comfortable silence.

“I love you too” You said, breaking the silence and making Fred look over at you.

“Really?” He asked teasingly, but he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face.

“Yeah, ever since you hugged me when we won that quidditch tournament last year, I knew I had feeling for you.”

“I knew when you made frogs come out of Snape's pockets for a week” Fred replied, causing you both to fall into another fit of laughter.

“Wow, so romantic” You teased, Fred moving to wrap his arm around you as you scooched closer into his chest, both of you moving under the covers.

“I know, its a gift” Fred replied, making you giggle. 

“Well, I should maybe get going” You said, moving to get up, knowing classes would be ending soon.

“You thought we were done?” Fred asked, stopping you in your tracks.

“We’re not?” You asked, a confused look on your face.

“Not even close” Fred replied, leaning in and connecting your lips again, to which you enthusiastically responded, before quickly pulling away, grabbing your wand and casting a locking and silencing spell on the door.

Needless to say, while you may have had a bad streak during your classes, you most definitely got lucky that night.

The next day you had to get up early for quidditch practice. You had suck out of Fred's room a few hours later without too much suspicion, but needless to say, you were sore. You walked to practice with your roommate Angelina, who was currently talking about something to do with McGonigal's hat, but you honestly weren’t paying much attention, too distracted by last night events playing over in your head.

“But I think she might be hiding something in it you know? Like... hold up. Is that a fucking hickey?” Angelina asked once you finally got to the bleachers, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“What?! No!” You quickly defended, trying to move the collar of your shirt up, only for Angelina to slap your hand away, pulling your collar further down, exposing the dozens of marks that littered your neck and chest, which you didn’t realize you had this morning.

“Oh my GOD! Did you get beat up? Who’s the guy?” Angelina asked with a teasing tone.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” You replied, trying to keep your cool, digging through your bag to find your water bottle.

You stood back up, looking over to see Fred and George walking your direction. You gave them both a wave, your eyes lingering on Fred for a few seconds longer than usual. They dropped their stuff off a bit always from you, and started getting changed, both of them coming in sweaters.

“Besides” You continued, turning away from the twins, trying to keep your cool. “You have no right to talk, I know you and George are getting pretty comfortable in the room of requirement” You said, taking a sip of your water.

“That’s totally different and- Oh my god?!” Angelina said, looking past you, causing you to turn and spit out your water, the sight before you making you choke on the liquid.

Fred had taken off his shirt to change into his Jersey, and his back was covered in bright pink scratch marks. He heard the commotion, turning to see you covering your mouth trying to stop choking, not sure whether to be horrified or laugh.

“Jesus Fred, did you piss off a hippogriff and not tell me about it?” George asked, Fred suddenly realizing that of course, you would have most definitely left marks. Not that he was completely innocent either.

“Oh that, yeah I fell out of a..... tree” Fred said, making you smack your palm to your face. Sure, he may have been the best prankster in the school, but damn was Fred a bad liar.

Angelina took in your reaction, adding it to Fred's back and your hickeys, finally putting the pieces together.

“You two!?” Angelina said, pointing at the two of you. “Last night when you got back to the dorm late! You were fucking fucking!” 

“Shhhh!” I shushed loudly, making Angelina and George laugh.

“Fred and Y/N, sitting in a tree” George started

“K-I-S-S-I-N-G” Angelina finished, the two laughing and heading off to start practice, leaving you and Fred slightly embarrassed at the blatant teasing.

“Well, we’re never going to hear the end of this” You said, admitting defeat.

“Yeah, but at least now they know. But speaking of  K-I-S-S-I-N-G, you wanna...” Fred asked, moving his head towards the back of the bleachers.

“As fun as that sounds, It’ll have to wait. First I need to beat your ass at quidditch” You said, collecting your gear, looking up to see a gobsmacked Fred looking back at you.

“You are literally my dream girl, how did I get so lucky?” Fred asked, grabbing his things and walking with you to the center of the field.

“I know, I’m pretty much the best thing that's ever happened to you” You said in a serious tone.

“This dicks the best thing that's ever happened to you” 

“FRED!”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed!!!! I didn’t read through this before posting so if theres any grammar mistakes I’m sorry, I literally wrote this at 3 in the morning because who needs sleep when you have Fred Weasley porn. Anyway, I hope you guys liked it, feel free to leave any feedback/recs!

[kcatta-wodahs]

MC Who Does Not Fear Death x OM! Demon Brothers

Or maiming, or apparently any other consequences. You’ve walked into this situation with absolutely no filter and no fear. Time to tear down every structure of Devildom society.

Lucifer

You look at him with a withering stare when he tries to intimidate you into behaving.

“I was summoned out of my trashy apartment to this place, where literally anyone could snap me like a twig on accident. I’m just working on the assumption that I’m already dead.”

He sternly looks at you. “You’re under my protection during your time here. No harm will come to you.”

You snort derisively, which visibly irritates him. “Don’t worry about it. I won’t come back to haunt you if it happens.”

As you continue through your life in Devildom he keeps calling you out for meddling and all that, like usual, and he HATES that you literally *do not care* when he threatens you.

Like HE knows that he wouldn’t hurt Diavolo’s transfer student but YOU are supposed to be AFRAID of him dammit.

His frustration at this ends up turning into a form of respect. You’re about the only person who will stand up to him, and tbh like you’re so fucking fragile but you’ll yell at him all day? That takes guts. Annoying guts. But you’ve got guts.

But also STOP IT. He has enough stress in his life and now he’s constantly terrified that you’ve decided it’s a great idea to adopt a baby balrog

Which you did once. He’s just afraid that “Flamin Hot Cheeto” is going to come back since you somehow managed to imprint on it.

despite the fact that the BABY could easily tear your arms off on accident

Not to mention he gets the flack for EVERY SINGLE ONE of these following stories. You stress him out so much. Please. Please, stop. 

He’s almost to the point of begging. The Avatar of Pride is three steps away from either locking you away for the rest of the year or begging on his knees for you to calm down. 

 But you know you’d find a way out if he locked you up so no worries. It’ll be a good challenge.

Mammon

“Well you WON’T be dead because it’s my job to protect you! Are you doubting the Great Mammon?!”

Stupid human. Yeah, you’re fragile and weak, but that’s why HE’S your bodyguard now, and there’s no way in hell (lol) that he would let you die on his watch.

Lucifer would kill him.

You welcome the challenge, and he thinks it’s funny at first but quickly becomes a flustered mother hen.

“NO, we are NOT going out to Madam Scream’s at 3am! Do ya know what kinda CREEPS are out there at 3am?!”

And you sneak out the fucking window.

He has had more heart attacks in the past week than he has had in the last 100 years of life.

He starts agreeing to your ridiculous adventures JUST because then he can actually keep an eye on you. 

He adores the chaos of the laugh that bursts from you every time you narrowly escape death. 

He HATES how often you have to NARROWLY ESCAPE DEATH. So he will never tell you.

He almost doesn’t have time for his own shenanigans anymore, because all his time is taken up by trying to make sure you stay alive.

And you’ve figured out that if you turn *any* of your ideas into a money-making one, he will join you whole-heartedly.

So you bribe him because what’s money to you anymore anyway?

Leviathan

I mean he doesn’t leave his room much, so tbh he probably just gets texts from you that make him want to scream.

‘hey uh levi say if someone were to hypothetically be stuck in a succubus’ devil basement to become an unwilling sacrifice to asmo what would that person, hypothetically, do?’

‘probably die’ is usually all he sends back

You always come back, because he always sends a text to the other brothers. In that case Asmo came to rescue you himself and scold the succubus.

You become the friend that he makes funny throwing-shade reddit posts about. (Devvit? Devil reddit? Eh??)

‘Levi so this has nothing to do with anything but is there a cure for a dangerously potent ‘always win at rock-paper-scissors' curse? Asking for a friend’

‘Friend is being held hostage tho so maybe be quick about a response’

He didn’t even know that kind of curse existed. None of them did. What the fuck did you do.

How did you get taken captive by playing rock paper scissors?

He doesn’t know. Nobody does. He expects the play-by-play so he can recommend it as a new anime to his favorite producers. 

Somehow your chaotic plans end up with stories almost as great as TSL. 

Beelzebub

He physically carries you around.

He’s like “fuck this you can’t get into trouble if I’m holding you.”

If Beel’s on MC watching duty, he’s almost the only one who is successful, just because you physically cannot get away. 

But at the same time, he is very easily bribed. 

So yes, he’ll go to Madam Scream’s with you at 3am. Sounds like fun.

But he is very protective after losing someone he cares about (who you remind him of so much….) so he keeps you close when you’re out and about too.

If you start getting into a fight with some other demon he literally just takes the fight for you and wins with no trouble at all.

You like having Beel with you.

Especially finding street festivals! You’re in a whole new world and there’s a MILLION things to try. Beel is more than happy to try them with you.

But that leads to arguments about whether deadly creatures to humans are still deadly when dead. 

“No, you can’t eat that it’s on fire. I know even small fires hurt humans. I’ll eat it for you.”

“That hot sauce makes every demon I know cry. You really shouldn’t buy a bottle. Please. No, don’t try it. No, that’s too much for one-- oh. Oh no.”

He forgives you as long as you don’t actually get hurt and you give him your leftovers.

Asmodeus

“If I get wrinkles because of you I promise you will never hear the end of it. I will curse you forever.”

He swears on every single one of his lovers that you have started giving him grey hairs.

GREY HAIRS, MC.

Why can’t you just settle down and let them all take care of you? You don’t have to prove anything to the other demons!

But you will. You’re living in Devildom now, and by everything unholy, you are going to live that life to its fullest extent.

He was thrilled at first when you were all for joining him at his nightclubs and parties. Now he hides every party’s date from you.

That time you almost threw yourself off a balcony to try and emulate a very drunk demon’s newest dance move.

“I need to stay TRENDY, Asmo!! I’ll be fine!!”

Ever since learning Demonus doesn’t affect humans you have challenged every single stuck-up tough boy to a drinking contest.

And every single time you win, Asmo has had to *narrowly* save you from being killed by said demon.

And you just say “he deserved it” every time.

And like, yeah okay, he probably did but YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE.

Somehow, you manage to out-party Asmo.

dON’T TELL THE OTHERS but he lives for the times when you practically fall asleep on his shoulder while coming home from a rager. You may not get drunk, but when you’re sleepy, you’re so affectionate and something in his heart melts.

Satan

At first, Satan was all for the rebellious “life life with no restraints” thought process you explained to him.

I mean, he didn’t like the assumption that he and his brothers couldn’t control themselves to not accidentally kill you, but also… fair.

But he didn’t realize that this mindset followed through for EVERY demon in ANY place.

Including RAD, where old and wizened demons were *really* not used to being contradicted

Which led to you “accidentally insulting” your 5000 year old Human Studies professor by giving them a pop quiz on current memes (which they failed).

And left Satan as the one who had to make sure that said professor didn’t kill you. 

And the thing is, this keeps happening.

You’ve written all over the school’s library books, pointing out every error.

You *continue* to argue with the demons who threaten to kill you when you say silly things like “No, Solomon did not learn his sorcery at Hogwarts because Hogwarts isn’t REAL.”

(Solomon, meanwhile, refutes you vehemently and seems to grow three inches taller every time you glare at him.)

Satan assures you that he values knowledge and truth and all that, but could you maybe find a less dangerous way to push it?

No can do, Satan, because you already had plans with Mammon to use a curse that writes the history of the actual Sorceric Academy that Solomon attended like 400 years all over the desks in Human Studies. It’s activated by anyone saying “Hogwarts”. 

No, no, Satan, it’s brilliant, because you can’t do magic. It can’t be you who did it.

Satan, no don’t tell Lucifer.

I thought you hated him. Satan, wait. 

You are the only person in the history of ever who convinces him to come to Lucifer for intervention. You wear that badge with pride and also deep, deep, bitter sadness. 

Belphegor

Like, through the plot your willingness to be a thorn in anyone’s side just to get more information really works for Belphie.

He’s like all I gotta do is ask? Sweet. Yeah. Go, human.

But then when he’s all big and threatening and “im gonna kill you” and you just kind of look at him and nod like “yeah, this checks out.” 

Frankly, that’s rude, MC. 

And then he keeps threatening to kill you and it doesn’t even PHASE you like. You just keep listening to him rant and going “OH i think i get it now”

He liked that you were always looking for more information when he was the one pushing you around, but now?

No. Human, he is going to KILL you here, STOP ASKING QUESTIONS.

And then you do the time-travel bit, and see that he *literally has killed you in one timeline* and you just like

Shrug it off and keep talking about Lilith???????

Tbh what probably stopped him from doing it again is just that you’re fucking insane, MC 

“MC, you literally just saw yourself dead in Mammon’s arms”

You wave your hand vaguely in his direction and say, “Yeah okay, but can we talk about the lack of communication in this household because it is tearing this family apart.”

What the fuck MC

When he’s back to normal, tbh he loves that side of you. He loves getting into shit when he’s not sleeping. He will 100% encourage you and be there to make sure that you *don’t* actually die again.

He’s the only one who doesn’t actually try to stop you. Who knew he was so into chaos.

But if you try to drag him to a plan when he should be sleeping he will be like Beel and literally just hold you down while he naps dammit. You brought this on yourself. He needs sleep.

[kraviolis]

sorting the owl house characters into hogwarts houses, because im cringe

luz - ravenclaw

she’s creative and clever and is always searching to learn new things and loves learning just for the sake of learning. shes incredibly witty and quick thinking and open-minded. she’s constantly finding clever, creative, and original ways to solve her problems. she hardly blinked when given the opportunity to learn magic, and only continued to show an intense amount of intelligence and appreciation for academics. shes very resourceful as a human learning magic, finding a entirely new form of magic when it was apparent that she couldnt do it the traditional way. she’s very aspiring, wanting to be a witch and an author since she was very young. she’s very logical about a lot of things, like how it doesnt make sense to not allow witches to study multiple tracks or that people were imprisoned just for being themselves. she’s highly encouraging of individuality which is a lesser known trait of ravenclaw but very important. she can be a perfectionist at times and tended to avoid social interaction so she could persue her creativity. she’s outspoken, an overthinker, and very competitive. i think a lot of people might say she’s a hufflepuff, as she’s loyal and kind and hardworking, but luz values learning and creativity above any of those other things— this is evident, when she makes the decision to stay in the boiling isles to learn magic rather than go home to her mom, thus putting knowledge and creativity over her own family.

eda - gryffindor

she’s not afraid to stand up for herself and others and will never back down from a challenge. she would rather die as herself than live unauthentically. she’s very passionate and empathetic. she’s rebellious against rules that dont make sense to her and cares intensely for her friends and family. she has a strong internal moral code that she sticks to intensely, never straying from it. in the very first episode, she breaks into the conformatorium just to get a paper crown thats important to king. she let raine break up with her because she didnt want to burden them with her curse. she forfeited the match with lily because she knew her sister wanted to be in the emperor’s coven more than she ever did. she’s sacrifices herself for luz & king over and over again because she cares so deeply for her.

king - slytherin

he’s self-centered, smart, arrogant, and highly ambitious. he would do anything to achieve his goals— which was at first reclaiming his throne as the king of demons, and then turned into finding out where he came from. he tried to use luz as a means to reach his goals when he became an author, nearly sacrificing their friendship. he became incredibly loyal to luz after that in the same way he’s loyal to eda, the one who raised him.

(other characters under the cut)

lily - slytherin

it was between this and ravenclaw, because she’s incredibly intelligent and does seem to enjoy learning and has a great mind, she’s also incredibly ambitious and prideful. the deciding factor was that she cursed eda just to reach her own goals. she’s still loyal to eda even when working for belos, which says a lot to how she’s loyal to only a select few people. to her, the ends justify the means (making amity cheat to appear like the better teacher, cursing eda to win the duel, kidnapping luz to get belos to cure eda, losing her magic to help eda)

amity - gryffindor

this one was hard, i swapped between slytherin and gryffindor a lot for her. she’s ambitious and intelligent, but also not afraid to do whats right even if means breaking the rules. she’s self-sacrificing and empathetic and prideful. she ended her friendship with boscha to help luz and willow win. she didnt like luz at first because luz kept cheating and messing up her life, which means she has a strong moral code against cheating and bullies. she’s rebellious in small ways at first but once she started realizing how terrible her parents and belos really were, she pulled away extremely quickly.

willow - slytherin

not surprising, if you take into her account of self-preservation and bending of the rules to suit her ambitions. in the first episode she agrees to cheating just to get ahead in school because she wants to make her parents proud, and in the end she switches to the plants track so to her the ends justify the means. she pulled out of the grudgby game when luz pushed her & gus too far, a perfect example of that self preservation. she has a sense of loyalty that extends to very specific people but she always makes sure those people are taken care of. her parents, luz, gus, and eventually king, eda, and amity, too. she wouldn’t die for them, but she would kill for them.

gus - hufflepuff

sure, he has the ravenclaw curiousity and thirst for knowledge, but he’s very kind, hard working, has a strong inner sense of justice and fairness, and is tolerant of others. he helps mattholomule even if he’d been a jerk before because it was unfair if he didnt. he helps luz break into belos’s castle to find a cure for eda, lets luz borrow his library card to see amity, and hated it when mattholomule tried to lie about the human objects. he knows what it feels like to be left behind and underestimated, so he makes an effort to be kind to others who seem to be in the same boat. he’s very young but already so accomplished which is a testament to how hard he works.

hunter - hufflepuff

this one was HARD. it was either slytherin or this, and a deciding factor for this is the fact that he is self-sacrificing. he sacrifices a lot for other people, even if it doesnt seem like it. in the palisman episode, he sacrifices the palismen getting away despite knowing he would be punished for returning empty-handed. in eclipse lake, he leaves to find the titans blood for belos when he simply could have stayed in the castle and been safe. he’s viciously hard-working, dedicated, and loyal to his family. he lets people’s actions speak for them. he doesn’t immediately judge luz for using wild magic and actually seems interested in it before remembering to be loyal to belos. he’s patient, too, as seen by his interactions with luz. he gets frustrated, sure, but he still works with her. he’s modest about his rank and title, preferring to not flaunt it more than needed. but he does take pride in it. he’s kind in his own way, specifically to belos and lil rascal, but you can see it in his interactions with amity & luz, too. with amity, he empathizes with her and gives her advice that he thinks is true, and offers to dig a grave for her too when its apparent that neither of them are getting any titans blood. with luz, he gives up the palismen and protects her from kikimora. that boy is a hufflepuff for sure.

raine - gryffindor

oh buddy theyre the biggest gryffindor ever. they extremely, extremely brave. they have terrible stage fright and anxiety but they still became head bard, and they still ran an underground resistance group, and they still gave everything up just to help eda. they have a strong sense of whats right and whats wrong and incredible amount of passion, empathy, and integrity. they have a great sense of pride— “How did someone with stage fright end up as Head Witch?” “I’m just that good.”— and are very selfless. they stopped eda from sacrificing herself because they knew her kids needed her more, they sacrificed themselves in eda’s place and gave up everything they had just so eda wouldnt have to.

camila - hufflepuff

she’s extraordinarily kind, even when she’s terrified. she’s accepting and open-minded and hardworking, making sure to show luz that she loves her creativity but still wants to make sure luz can do well in school and can make friends. sometimes you can do something you think is kind but isnt really. she’s also a single mother doing her best to give her daughter a good life, which is a credit to how hard she works and how dedicated she is to her daughter. she even took the day off of work to drive luz to camp because she knew luz was anxious and wanted to reassure her. she’s patient with luz, and even when faced with the scariest moment of her life, she’s still thinking of how luz feels rather than her own fears and anger. she’s very much a hufflepuff in the way that she’s quiet and unassuming but fiercely protective of her family.

vee - slytherin

she’s opportunistic and has a sense of self-preservation. she’d rather save her own skin than do that right thing. she’s cunning, having pretended to be camila’s daughter just to have a place for herself. this isnt a bad thing at all, though. she’s also loyal to camila, who she sees as her family, and even got into a fight with luz over how she treated camila. she still listened to luz and let luz help her so that vee could remain living as luz. she doesnt feel guilty about valuing herself ahead of luz.

belos - ravenclaw

honestly? not a hard decision. he’s smart, sure, but he’s not people-smart. he didnt think lilith would betray him after he admitted to lying about healing eda. he doesnt understand loyalty, not even to those close to him. he’s rational and logical rather than emotional. if the theory that he is philip wittebane is to be believed, then its obvious he has an appreciation for learning and knowledge. belos distinctly reminds me of lockhart, or even quirrell, who were also in ravenclaw. he’s got an arrogance to him that blinds him, believing himself to be the smartest and strongest witch on the isles and thus underestimating others, which will only lead him to ruin.

[xsarcasticwriterx]

I hate you

Summary: In a world where your enemies name appears on one wrist and your soulmates appears on the other but what happens when it's the same name on both

Pairing: loki x reader

Warnings: fluff but some major angst at end, swearing,

Notes: Finally not bucky pfft anyways i got this idea from a post I saw on instagram hope ya like it :) oh and this takes place during ragnarok and infinity war also yes i know the lines aren't the exact same but i tried to keep it similar.

You hated loki no hate wasn't strong enough you despised the god. With his tricks and mischief. with his knifes and need to simply be an absolute dickbag. all of this is what made the position you were put in even more confusing and messy.

You stared down at your wrist looking at the names well name. singular. The names were supposed to be one of your enemy and one of your soulmate which of course frustrated people to the end of which name suppose to take what role. Yours might seem simpler but it made it more complicated.

there was one name. loki. It sat on both your wrist being there since the day you were born. at first it confused you and your parents why the name was the same. Then the confusion grew when a few days later a prince was born named loki odinson. 

So your enemy was loki but was also your soulmate. The more you were around loki the more you understood the enemy part of it. He'd pull mean pranks and constantly pester you. you assumed the names on his wrist were in the same case as yours making his constant bother make sense.

Of course now wasn't the time to rehash all of that. you currently were going through something that felt similar to an acid trip. They spoke something of the grandmaster and how this planet was created or whatever. you simply felt sick and like someone stuck your brain in a blender. 

you open your eyes not even realizing you had closed them at some point. looking around you are sat next to thor and in front of you is a strange man with eyeliner who looks like a dude going through a midlife crisis. 

behind you are rainbow guards. confused you turn to lowkey who looks just as confused as you. “well aren't these two just marvelous. he and a she right?” he ask looking up at a girl. she nods “yes he and she” she smiles at you two. “see this is why your amazing. what do i always say when she shows up it starts with b” he says looking to another girl. “trash” she says glaring at the other girl. “wha- no were you just looking to call her trash that doesn't even start with b” he said confused and shaken. “booze hag”

you cant help but snicker at this. “I- what no i'm sorry i always say your the best god. she brought me my champion y'know” he says with a smile. “so you say every time shes here.”  she replied jealousy thick. “how much for them” grandmaster ask. this shakes you up and throws even thor off guard. “hi yes excuse me were not for y'know sale”  you say like its an outlandish thing. “10,000″ the girl says. “I am not for sale” thor says ripping his arms out of the chair. “ooo a fighter I like it” he says then the girl presses a button and thor is shaking like he was tased. 

“Y'know actually i think i'm ok being sold off can I just nooot have that happen to me?” you ask with a wide grin. “I like her shes funny” get her out of the chair” the grandmaster says. “give her the credits hurry” with a grumble the girl gets paid. “you will pay for this.” thor says to the scavenger. “no I got paid for this.” she says smugly walking off. your chains are released and you stand up rubbing your wrist. “do you got any lotion or anything cause that shit made my wrist all dry” you say nodding towards the chair. 

“Get the girl some lotion go go” he says to the other. “come follow me” he says after you get handed some lotion. you walk into a room full of people thor following behind on his chair. The room seems like a party people are chatting music is blasting. “I am the god of thunder!” thor says. tiny thunder comes out his fingers making you chuckle. His hammer being broken but be affecting him more than expected. “well there's no thunder but you did create little sparkles there.” he says walking to a dj panel.

“hey y/n get me out of here” thor whispers to you. “Man i don't even know how i got out ok guess you gotta just be awesome like me” you look around and spot someone who for once actually made you smile “or like loki apparently.” you point out to thor. “loki!” he yells. you hit thor's arm “shut up” you say. loki looks at you two confused.

“loki!!” thor says happily. you simply facepalm you didn't want to talk to loki nor did you want grandmaster from finding out you know him especially if he's caused as much chaos here as he has on asgard. loki looks concerned and does a fake smile and goodbye before walking towards yall “shhh sh” he says. “what are you doing here” he ask “Me and y/n were put in a chair she was released wheres your chair?” thor ask. “i didn't get a chair” loki whispers back. “well get me out of this one” thor ask “i cant.” “get me out” “I cant” they debacle before you interrupt “how did you get here?” you ask. “I was here a few weeks ago I gained his trust i know hes strange but im in the good with him” loki says.

“what are we whispering about” Grandmaster sneaks up on yall. “jesus fuck what are you a mouse?!” you ask feeling your heart pounding like drums. “you know this lord of thunder?” grandmaster ask loki. “god of thunder heh tell him” thor says nodding. “i've never met this man in my life” loki says with a nervous smile. “their brothers” you chime in “adopted” loki clarifies. you smile at the grandmaster. “well if you want to get back to assguard or-” grandmaster starts “asgard” thor clarifies. “Only those who defeat me beloved champion can leave.”  grandmaster said with a smile. “just send him that way he’ll stab whomever whatever to get back home” you say. thor nods with a smirk.

and off he goes. not long after loki nods towards where thor was sent and you nod back. As much as you hate loki it was nice having 2 familiar faces here. You walked after loki and snuck into the room. loki was making hand gestures as thor threw a rock through him. “course” you say with a shake of your head. loki and thor look towards you. “why did i actually think for once you'd be nice and actually be here” you say rolling your eyes. “Never put faith in my brother to be nice” thor says throwing another rock through loki. loki rolls his eyes “You don't want my help then i'll just go.” loki says turning around then turning back. “I haven't seen this champion but i know he is unstoppable and terrifying. I have placed a large wager against you won't let me down.” loki says walking off.

“He's right ya know, loki, this champion is a champion for a reason and you don't have your hammer anymore you cant even do your cool lighting trick you barely got it out your fingers...just don't get killed out there please. Loki won't admit it but he cares about your dumbass and so do i so do us both a favor and don't get killed” you say walking out the room. loki was right at the other side and rolled is eyes. “that was cheesy” he says. “shut up i just don't want you to be more annoying than usual if he fucking dies.” you reply with a grumble.

Soon enough the battle comes and you sit next to loki. your nerves become evident the more time passes. loki puts a hand on your bouncing leg. slowly it calms down. his hand stays there as thor walks out. you gulp deeply. they announce the champion and out walks.....hulk? “I have to get off this plant” loki says starting to walk off. you giggle. loki's experiences with hulk were far from fun.

“where are you going?” grandmaster ask walking loki back to his seat. “Hey! I know him! hes a friend from work!” thor says yelling. you bite back a smile. “ahem yea we kind of all work together” you say with a smile to grandmaster. his smile falters. loki looks nervous. as much as you wanted to laugh at his pain hulk throwing you around can be quite traumatic. “hey you're up here...hes down there” you say “hes not coming after you ok hes controlled its ok.” you say to loki. he nods.

The fight goes on and right when you see an end that scared you thor got his powers and blasted hulk. “oh shit” you mumble. “of course” loki mumbles. thor lost the fight that's the summary of it. You and loki ended up wondering the place. “shouldn't we try to find thor?” you ask. “if you want thor i can take you to him but i figured id take you somewhere” loki said. “uh yea sure” you said with a shrug. 

You a loki end up at the top of a mountain the view looks beautiful. the sky was many shades of blue from dark to light. “this is...this is beautiful” you say. “yes it is” he replied looking at you. you turn to him seeing him look at you. you smile...maybe loki wasn't so bad after all.

Then an alarm goes off “My precious champion is missing that seductive lord of thunder as stolen him” a hologram of grandmaster says. “shit....thor” you say. “follow” loki says. he grabs your hand and you two end up in the grandmasters office him and the scavenger who brought you and thor is there debate who can bring thor and hulk in faster. “Well i come as a pair” loki said holding your hand up. “uhhhhhh suppose so?” you say with a shrug. “i woke up wanting an execution but ill settle for this little ‘who gonna get him first’” grandmaster says. 

you three walk out. “now why would you help my brother escape” loki ask “I help no one but myself” she replies. loki and her end up fighting as you just sit back and watch what can be said watching loki get his ass handed to him was fun. when she knocks him out she looks to you. “do i have to knock you out too? or i can just use this.” she says holding the remote. “uh see i'm not really with him but ya see he makes a great partner in crime but ill just follow willingly.” you say putting your hands up. “good choice” she says.

“Should probably get your name if your going to take us hostage” you say. “valkyrie” she says. you two walk in silence into a room as she ties him up. “i’ll be back keep him there” she says walking out. you sit next to loki and sigh. “your my soulmate...you? i don't know if i have the worst luck.....no i have the best luck.” you say with a smile. one of his sleeves is slightly up and you can see your name on his wrist. “how did we get stuck like this...together.” you ask. loki looks so peaceful asleep. this trip has made you see a vulnerable and kinder loki.

you kiss his cheek before seeing him squirm. his eye open and he looks around. “course she made you babysit” he grumbles. aaaaand he ruined it. you roll your eyes. “shut up and make this easy on both of us and just stay.” you say. “what am I a dog?” he says with a huff. “well you were a snake one time” you say laughing at the memory. he laughs “fair enough” he replies. He starts to say something else when the doors open. thor and bruce walk in. “y/n!” he says excitedly. “Bruce” you say happily hugging him. You two had been close before he disappeared to well here. loki grumbles and bruce turn to him. “last time i saw you, you were ready to kill us where are we at now?” bruce ask. “it varies moment to moment” loki replies. 

bruce looks at you concerned. “he's on our side for now.” you say sitting next to loki. “look we need to get out of here.” he points to a portal outside “through there” he says. “through the devil's anus?!” valkyrie ask. you burst out laughing. “I wasn't aware it was called that when i picked it” thor says slightly embarrassed. “well we need a ship mine wont make it through that” valkyrie says.

They then nerd out about ships as loki struggles in his chains. “Don't even try there stuck there” you whisper to him. he sighs and gives up. “I just so happen to know the codes to grandmasters ship keep” loki says. “and your just ready to help?” valkyrie ask “i have run out of favors with grandmaster sO” he says and sighs. you side eye loki suspicious. he smiles you and you look to the others. 

“what the worst he betrays us? Would just be another day with the odinson boys.” you say standing up. So that was that. You,thor, and loki would go get the ship. you two were at a door when thor started “I suppose we should talk.” he said. “i disagree,open communication was never our family's forte” loki said. “you have no idea quite the revelation sense we last spoke” thor says

“hello” thor says to the people...things that see you 3 come in. “hi” loki says making you smile “sup” you say before you 3 blast them. “Odin brought us together” loki says as you 3 hide from the shot fired back. “Its almost poetic that his death should split us apart.” loki continues. you sigh “loki why are you so prominent on keeping this angsty wall of yours up” you grumble earning you a side eye. you three then finish them off walking to another key pad. “We might as well be strangers now” loki says ignoring your statement.

“Two sons of the crown, set adrift” loki says. you'd love to say something or really just slap loki so he stops pushing his brother away further and further with every words but you let him continue. The door opens and a man points a gun at loki making him backup and you giggle as thor blast him to the ceiling. “thought you didn't want to talk about it” thor says walking into the elevator. loki puts a finger up “here's the thing” he says stepping over the body. you roll your eyes and follow.

“im probably better off staying here on sakaar.” loki says. that's not what he wants. you stare at thor which he clearly doesn't get cause he then says “That's exactly what I was thinking” 

loki makes a stunned face and looks shocked and confused. “Did you just agree with me?” he says shocked. you hit loki's shoulder “what its surprising” you roll your eyes. “come on this place is perfect for you. its savage,chaotic,lawless. Brother you're gonna do great here.” thor says matter of factly. you title your head up and sigh. “morons” you grumble earning two confused looks.

“Do you truly think so little of me?” lokie ask. you shake your head. they really are stupid aren't they. “Loki, i thought the world of you.” thor says. finally now loki dont fuck this up. loki's face soften ups and you smile at it. “I thought we were gonna fight side by side forever” thor continues. come oooon.  “but” fucking hell thor. “at the end of they day your you and i'm me” thor says with a shrug. loki looks hurt now. “i don't know maybe there's still good in you. but lets be honest our paths diverged a long time ago” he finishes. fucking hell thor you just had to go and fuck it up. loki contemplates what was just said looking between the floor and thor. 

he sighs and nods. his face is full of hurt. you grab his hand softly and give him a small smile which he reciprocates. you may hate loki which lets be honest even that was falling apart but you still wanted him happy. you hated how hurt he looked. like a kicked puppy. “yea...it's probably for the best that we never see each other again.” loki says voice full of pain and almost desperate for thor to deny the allegations.  “that's what you always wanted” thor says patting loki. “yall are the most idiotic gods there could be” you say taking thor off guard. loki simply laughs. thor shakes his head and turns back to the front.

“hey lets do get help” thor says happily. this wipes the hurt from loki and replaces it with confusion. “what?” he ask “get help.” he says again. “no.” loki says shaking his head. “come on, you love it” thor says excitedly. “I hate it” loki says shaking his head again. “Its great it works everytime” thor says “its humiliating loki says swinging his hands bringing attention to you two holding hands. This earns a smirk from thor before he says “You have a better plan?” he ask.

“no” loki says. “were doing it” thor says with a smile. “we are not doing get help” loki says matter of factly. next thing you knew loki was limp over the shoulder and thor was yelling get help before throwing loki at the guards. you laughed falling onto your ass. “see this is why i didn't want to do it” loki says nodding to you. “im im ok im good” you say trying to stop laughing. you get up but not far before loki does as loki does and betrays yall. he twitches on the floor and thor walks off. “i'm gonna stay here with him” you say. thor looks suspiciously at you before carrying on. 

“if you just hadn't been so stupid and said how you felt and what you wanted from thor we wouldn't be here and now im stuck taking care of your dumbass once again. God i don't even know why i stay anymore when all you do is exactly what would hurt me what you trying to fulfill the enemy part of our deal?” you ask lifting up your sleeves showing the two loki names. “I mean really loki why do you keep doing this please just explain it to me. I started to see a side of you the side that I actually cared for and saw us being real soulmates but then you pulled this crap again and now i don't even know what to feel.” you say before the doors bust in. a rocky man and a group of others walk in. picking up the remote and stopping loki's twitching. Loki looks at you with soft eyes before turning back to the men smuggly. “you look like your in desperate need of a leader” he says. you huff and he looks at you and smiles.

“why thank you” the group says. With that y'all are off on a ship. “sooo where are we running to now” you ask loki. “no more running were going to asgard and were going to kill my sister.” he says with a nod. you smile. you grab lokis shoulders throwing him off. “whatd i do?” he ask. for the first time ever he seems like he'd do anything for you. “nothing” you say with a smile. you kiss his cheek. he looks around confused before clearing his throat. “ok good um ok” he says turning to the panel. you giggle before walking to chat with the others. finally you arrived at asgard which is on fire and surrounded by death. “read?” he ask. you grab his hand. “always” you say turning to him. he smiles and nods. the ship door opens and you all run out and attack.

when the fight seems like a dead end thor blast the whole kingdom with lighting and launches himself out to the bridge. loki smirks slightly which you see and smile yourself. “your late” thor says  “your missing an eye” loki says. “ok enough let clear these out and-” you start before hela emerges. what the actual fuck. “hit her with lighting” loki says. “I just hit her with the biggest lighting bolt and she acted like it was nothing” thor yells. “wait....what if this isn't about stopping ragnarok.  what if it was about causing it”

thor looks at loki who looks surprised. “this is insane even for me” he says walking off. “Loki!” you yell. he turns around. you grab him and kiss him. its soft and its like the world stopped just for a moment before you have to pull away. “don't get killed” you say. he nods and smiles “anything for you darling” he says with a wink before running off. thor clears his throat. “let's fight” you say. with that you and valkyrie fight with the others as thor hold hela off. you worry for loki how he’ll get out.

Then ragnarok emerges and fire is everywhere. hels is distracted and you and the others run into the ship. flying away Taika says something about the foundation. then it explodes. a few minutes later loki is next to you. “hello darling” he says. you smile and grab onto loki pulling him into a hug. “loki thank god” you say pulling away. you kiss him deeply. “don't ever do that shit again” you say.

You all spend 3 months flying around before coming across a teeny tiny issues heh. you sat in a pool of blood of your friends. people you grew to care about. you tried to scream but were muffled by the guard on your mouth. After the 1st scream they put the guard on to stop the noise. thor was tied down. Heimdall was dead and hulk had been blasted away.  You tried to scream again but it stopped as soon as it exited.

Thanos had just decided earth was where needed to be next. “if i might interject, if you are going to earth you might want a guid” loki says appearing. he walks towards thanos. “I do have a bit of experience in that arena” loke says walking up to thanos “if you consider failure experience” thanos said. “I consider experience experience” he said firmly. “All mighty thanos, I loki, prince of asgard, odinson, the rightful king of jotunheim,god of mischief.” he starts spewing off his titles. you see him make a knife appear and you try to scream once again. “Do hereby pledge to you my undying fidelity.” he says starting to power before trying to stab thanos. thanos stops it. “undying” thanos says. “you should choose your words more carefully.” thanos says as he forces loki to drop the knife. 

Thanos grabs loki by the neck chocking him. you scream but no sound escapes. tears flood your eyes. “you will never be a god” loki says with his last breath before thanos snaps his neck. thor tries to scream too bt fails.thanos walks over and drops loki's body. “no resurrections this time” he  says before lighting everything on fire and leaving. with that your guards are released. you run to lokis body. 

you sob and scream. “y/n” thor tries. “shut the fuck up thor” you yell at him through gritted death. you hold loki. your enemy, your nemesis but more importantly your soulmate. rolling up his sleeves you see the one with your name. grabbing the other you see a different name. Luca. you knew him he was annoying as hell. of course now he was another corpse among the rest. you weren't his enemy. He was only yours. Everything he did everything that annoyed you was him trying to be close but in loki's own way. Loki Laufeyson. your enemy and your one true love.