#so deeply in the thoughts and wasting people's time to read them

[burningcheese-merchant]

Psst, hear me out: The Beast being fucking yanderes with the ancients.

You Get It™️ I mean... Did you guys see episode 6? Burning Simp Cookie is already a yandere lol. He's been there and he refuses to leave. And Shadow Milk is honestly not that far behind, he feels some type of way towards Pure Vanilla and it would be cute if it wasn't so sad and creepy lol

Really though, I just love hero/villain ships in general (always have, since long before Cookie Run ever existed) and I get a kick out of villains acting stupid over crushes (read: obsessions), and acting stupid in general. There's just something about a villain being in love with the hero to a psychotic, comical degree, and the hero rebuffing them at every turn that's just really amusing to me lol. Like what Joker sort of has with Batman, you know?

Here are my Yandere Beasts in bare-bones terms:

Burning Spice: come on, if you've read my stuff, you know EXACTLY what Yandere Spice is like lol. If not, I'll refer you to this and this, as well as my fics on AO3. If those don't tell you what Yandere Spice is like then idk how else to help you lol

Shadow Milk: if the final boss of theater/drama kids had a crush but was also a malignant narcissist of some sort lol. Absolutely DESPERATE for Vanilla's attention at all times. If he's not actively trying to worm into Vanilla's brain and harass him in his thoughts and dreams, he's in the real world brainstorming better ways to do that lol. He does not grasp why the creepy puppet shows and gaslighting attempts aren't convincing Vanilla to fall in love with him. Will attack and torment and insult Vani in one breath and then praise and love and worship him in another, because he's a histrionic clown freak with whirlwind emotions. But above all else, he literally thinks he owns Vani and is meticulously plotting the horrible and hilarious demise of any and all he perceives as a threat to their union

Eternal Sugar: World's Laziest Stalker™️. Almost exclusively haunts Holly in her dreams (I have to assume that that's what her power will entail, as the Beast of Sloth); however, she's more "effective" in her wooing attempts due to her past experience as the Herald of Happiness. She actually goes out of her way to construct dreams and the like that have things in them that make Holly happy (or what she thinks makes Holly happy; she, as well as the others, has big tunnel vision and is very selfish and self-absorbed, and thus pays more lip service to her own wants than those of who she loves/obsesses over). Thankfully doesn't run into Holly in person often because that's work... but sometimes she DOES work up the nerve to go after her for real, and... well

Mystic Flour: Denial, denial, denial. Not just a river in Egypt the Golden Cheese Kingdom, but she'll say and act like otherwise. No, she does not like Dark Cacao. He robbed her of her volition and the chance to enact her will. He prevented her from freeing the world from pain and suffering. He is a stubborn fool who refuses to understand the truth. He... is very handsome. She does not like how handsome he is. It is distracting. She doesn't like dwelling on her memories of him and their encounters. She doesn't like how she came to harbor a single kernel of respect in her heart after he stood his ground against her; a kernel that she inadvertently nurtured and cultivated slowly but surely, until... no. No, she doesn't like Dark Cacao. She doesn't think about him all day. She doesn't want to try to lure him back to her land so she can trap him in the flour fog with her again. She doesn't miss feeling his dark eyes on her. She doesn't deeply resent his attachment to his people, and seek to transfer that attachment to her instead. No, she... damn it, he's ruined her. He's made her feel things again. He's made her succumb to selfishness and greed, to earthly desire and attachment - desire for HIM, attachment to HIM. All of her hard work and enlightenment gone to waste... She doesn't want to like Dark Cacao, she recognizes the folly in such a thing, but she's stuck - and so stuck is she that not only does she not really see a way out, she doesn't WANT one. She's become too content with her attachment to him too quickly. Now she has to agonize over her own foolishness, and try to keep denying that she doesn't care while also longing for his attention and wanting to do away with all that steals his attention away from her

Silent Salt: probably the least awful of the five, but he's still creepy and that's not a high bar to clear anyway lol. Has a better grasp on "normal" behavior than the others (like... he pays attention to what White Lily likes/wants and tries to adjust accordingly), but he's following her around everywhere and acting extremely violent and territorial over her towards anyone who he catches approaching her. He's legitimately, surprisingly sweet and gentle towards her; he brings her flowers, he listens to her when she asks/tells him something, he's more or less respectful of her personal space (he will try to be as physically close to her as possible, but actually backs off a little if she asks him to, only to try again, and so on and so forth)... but he's still a villain, he's still violent and creepy, he still gets angry when she pays attention to other people for too long and he has brought actual harm to others out of jealousy. He's the best of the worst but that really doesn't mean much of anything, he's still a psycho creep like the others

In short, they form a tight-knit coalition of absolutely fucking deranged freakazoids and they should all probably die :)

[arainmorn-art]

Lots and lots and lots of thoughts. Also have some earlier sketches of Pheen, exactly from the period when I’ve decided to make his stupid face features even sharper. You know, English is not my native language, it’s actually Russian. But for some reason, even though I’m not at all fluent in English, it’s easier for me to talk about some weird stuff in it.  Of course Deciphering is a big project, I’m working on it for 9 month since I’ve started it, as I made myself not to draw the comic before I’d be fully confident in my script, which led to rewriting it 4 times. And even now it’s the 5th version as before there were no magical adventure in Edgey’s mind, no swords and flowers, the way to know how he feels inside, as outside he is quite reserved.

And it’s also a therapeutic journey for me. Yeah, duh, who am I trying to surprise with it? Anything we create is a projection of our own self. And through Phoenix, whom I love very much in canon games, I also deal with my own stuff.

For some reasons I relate to this character a lot. He seems to me like a person, who sincerely doesn’t see a big value in himself. He is not just being humble, nothing besides his job of saving people is a big deal.  

And he thinks he is not worthy of being loved.

Yes, his friends like him, his daughter loves him, but those are other forms of love. Being caring and likable is not a big deal, bringing home a lost child and rearing her is what any decent person and parent must do. Being selfless is a norm.

And looking at Edgeworth, a brilliant famous professional, a gorgeous smart man and a dear friend, Nick might believe a very sad thing: “I am not worthy”. Of course, through the rose-tinted glasses of being in love there are tendencies to feel blue and self-conscious of yourself, but it’s not the case. It’s about feeling weak and broken. It’s about looking at yourself and thinking: “No way a person I deeply value will think highly of the wreck like me”, as it’s also about being very, very harsh with yourself. It’s about believing that unless you are a harmonious strong-willed collected person with everything put together you do not deserve being loved.

But the thing is through the story I wrote about him, Nick is constantly fighting this numbing blob of insecurities, sitting like a nasty tumor inside his mind. He wants to try, he wants to check, what if, what if he is the only one who stops himself of being romantically loved. What if he actually has something to be loved. Both of them will have their character arcs through the comic, but Miles’s core struggle is the center of the story and will be fully described closer to the end, while Nick is in the outer circle constantly and expressively getting and loosing hope.

I don’t understand my feelings. I’m so confused and conflicted. It’s the first time I am actually insecure about my protagonist’s appearance. I like the way I’m drawing him. I can see him in my head like that, tired, sleepless, sharp yet with the kindest smile, with big nose, messy hair, small sparkly blue eyes, nervous, emotional and deeply caring, being through so much yet thinking about himself so little – a person I really like. And at the same time my own mind make strange things to me: I’m looking at him and can’t believe he can be liked and loved by readers. I wrote him feeling about himself as “somewhere not enough, somewhere too much”, but I also look at my own drawing and think about exactly the same, “not enough and too much”. And even think a fictional Edgeworth might not love him back, what is there to love? Not enough courage, too much emotional turmoil. Not strong enough core, too much self-doubt. Not pretty enough, he is so far from his original anime look, just look at this face, it’s the face only mother will love. Not stoic enough. Not manly enough. Not assertive enough. Not collected enough. Not mature enough. Not enough. So strongly not enough…

And I must remind myself – that’s the point. I freakin’ made this point several month ago in the script, why am I so distressed writing about it now?

Edgeworth actually loves him for what he is. Nick is worthy. And he doesn’t have only several single traits to be loved. He can be loved as he is. Just like that. For being cheerful and bringing smiles. For being caring and emotional. Being funny looking and clumsy. Being a soft gentle selfless loser, helping people, nurturing the best in them. It has a value. It has a big value for people who care about us.

I like the thought that I wrote Nick as a very nervous lesbian trying to win a girl’s heart while fighting her own deeply low self-esteem x)

Too relatable. Too much projection x)

But looks like I really need it. I need this comic to be completed. I need to prove myself I am worthy of being loved.

[james-stark-the-writer]

you know, i appreciate the work Susan Sontag has done for people appreciating Camp and stuff but i feel like if you are still using Susan Sontag as the authority on Camp in the year of your lord 2023, using notes that were written in 1964, as if the landscape of art and our relationship to art hasn't fundamentally changed since then,,, it's like, you need to catch up babes, a lot of those points are still really relevant, i'm not saying throw it out, but like update your understandings of Camp beyond that one authoritative text that's at this point almost 60 fucking years old. Susan Sontag is not the fundamental authority on what art today is or would be considered Campy, build off of those basics, please dear gods, evolve your understanding of what Campy art today actually looks like rather than trying to apply a prescriptive label from a text that can kinda boil down to 'Camp is whatever you feel like, and you'll know it when you see it because it won't be like traditional art' because the attempt to define it is so wide, calling every non-traditional piece of art campy is fucking pointless and not how anyone is obviously using the fucking label, people are very deliberately talking about one specific feeling they get from the piece of art, and it's got very little to do with aesthetics, at least as far as TV shows are concerned (movies are a different conversation), and much more about presentation and tone and intended effects and what the whole fucking point of the piece of art actually is, which is a lot more than what is afforded to most things considered Campy, like 90% of the shit people call campy at this point is just called campy and then it's left there, because it's a "oh you can't say anything about it because it's campy" like at this point it almost functions as a conversation ender because anyone you're talking to about any aspect can just go "yeah that's meant to be that way, it's campy" and it's like. okay, where do we go from here? should the piece of art not be analyzed as a work of art? does it not deserve to be evaluated in good faith and treated like any other piece of art? i understand the urge to defend the use of the term, as like "oh we're using it because people are misunderstanding art and what it's trying to be", and as a Riverdale-truther (as in genuinely love it as a piece of art and what it says and does, it's not fucking campy i swear to god, none of you fucking know what pulp art is!), and as a TASM2 truther (best Spidey movie after ITSV, and definitely best general movie after ITSV, and i don't care what your opinion is) i understand the urge to want to defend it as camp, but like, what's the piece of art actually doing and trying to say, what are the deeper layers at play? or are you really just satisfied saying something is Campy and stopping your analysis of the piece of art there? is your soul really okay correcting someone's interpretation of a show and saying it's campy and not doing anything beyond that? what does it being campy actually change? what the fuck does it actually do for the piece of art, if the piece of art is even campy at all?

[death---dealer]

Courting Imagines. ( Caesar x Reader, POTA. )

I'm a romantic at heart leave me alone. How did this end up being 6K+ words? Idk, but enjoy Next on this list for this series ( Courting ): Noa and Blue Eyes ( Potentially open to other characters, if you guys wanted! )

Does not know he’s actually courting you until it is brought to his attention by Maurice one slow afternoon. ●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

The two of them sitting and biding time, there’s not much to get done fortunately and Caesar is allowed a solemn downtime to rest and recoup after the chaos that had been happening recently as far as the influx of Humans stumbling upon the Colony and threatening them. As great as he was to lead his people, he wanted moments like this on occasion where he wasn’t being torn in thirteen different directions. Koba, Blue Eyes, Rocket, Ash, all having thoughts, all encompassing to Caesar who listened so intently to each of their concerns, and even the concerns of those outside of his council.

His gaze? Subsequently right on you as you were helping Lake rally in the young Apes into a circle. You had been blessed with time to spend with them for reading and learning, sharing the opportunity with Maurice when the attention was made that you were able to communicate to them to the point of understanding. Caesar paused when you lifted up a small Chimpanzee baby, giving himself a small huff as they climbed along your shoulder blades and began digging into your hair as you were talking. What about? Caesar could not hear but was more than entranced at watching your mouth form words.

Quietly, he drifted his eyes back forward to stare at the bonfire pensively. There was always a sense of pride that rocketed through his entire being at the notion that his people were free and prospering, but this time, he felt a bit more of an aggressive edge to the thought when you were added to the equation. It wasn’t an unsavory feeling, in fact, it was quite the opposite and Caesar preemptively accepted the lingerance, able to see your face when he closed his eyes.

You’d begun spending much more time together, almost all his days when he wasn’t thrusted into situations that beckoned his full attention were spent with you. Listening to you talk about Humanity, always a great perspective to Caesar who wrote off his eager curiosities about you as being the same as his curiosities for humanity as a whole. You’d gone fishing together, hunting on one occasion which he was partial to because you ultimately rode on the back of his horse and your entire body pressed against his own, you spent later evenings sitting by the fire in either silence or playful banter, sometimes even managing to get him to crack a smile or release a memory about his childhood with Humans.

He took silent pleasures when you would grasp his arm in laughter as you threw your head back in a laugh, green eyes lingering just a second too long on your exposed jugular, or when you would grasp at his hands when talking. All so Human, all so familiar to him but he wanted more deep down. Caesar especially liked it when you and he would spend time together and he was consciously aware that the rest of his Colony could smell his scent radiating from your body from the mere proximity you had to him. There was an animalistic prickle on his ears if he rested on that thought too long.

Maurice, attentive and intuitive to Caesar’s body language and thoughts, chittered silently to himself and that captivated the Ape King to break his glance on the fire. He had been in a deeply meditative state about you, somewhat grateful to the Orangutan otherwise Caesar was going to waste the entire afternoon recollecting the moments he had with you out of obsession to pick apart at the smaller details of them.

A great pass time for a King who loved strategy.

“Good,” Caesar spoke first and nodded his head in the direction of Lake, primarily you but he covered his tracks with the Ape his son had an acutely oblivious connection to, “She can take part of your duty.”

Maurice followed Caesar’s gaze and nodded in agreement, knowing fully well what he was alluding to without any more context, ‘She is smart.’ He signed, ‘Compassionate, would make for a great mate.’

Caesar scoffed at that, picking up a rock and throwing it mindlessly into the fire in front of him, his eyes sliding to you every few seconds. He’d linger only as long as he felt necessary, as long as no one else took notice. The thrown rock, a deflection of sorts, he shuffled back and looked at his wise friend, green eyes focused and determined. His gaze asked ‘what do you mean?’, almost grateful in a way that he didn't need to verbalize for Maurice for him to understand the expressive nature of Caesar’s brow ridge arched in questioning.

The large ape continued and chided Caesar, ‘You have considered that as a possibility, have you not?’

“Human as mate?” Caesar felt like his breath got caught in his chest as his voice came tumbling out in a deep baritone. Enriching, he would imagine, if he brought his face to the shell of your ear and whispered against it. ‘Distraction,’ Caesar signed to Maurice, ‘She….’ He hesitated his hands before choosing words, finding them a bit easier now to express instead of putting more effort into sign language. “Helps me forget what happened before.”

Maurice understood that. Cornelia, always such a sore point to bring up, especially when it was around both Caesar or Blue Eyes. She had passed away from complications after Blue Eyes was born and Caesar vowed to himself to never gravitate towards another, but in a bid to be less lonely in the scape of his longer life, he found himself drawn to you despite his best efforts.

‘Cornelia would understand,” Maurice was gentle with his actioned words, rumbling deep in his chest to Caesar who only nodded in minor agreement. ‘She would want your happiness. I can see it already, the way you look at her.’ Maurice turned his small green eyes in the direction of you and Caesar was prone to follow. He was captivated at you, how you were expressing with your arms now, two Chimpanzee babies cradling themselves along your shoulders now instead of the one he had seen climbing before.

Caesar broke away from that quickly and turned to look off in the opposite direction, ‘Just a distraction.’ He signed fervently.

Maurice, letting out a small sigh let his eyes rest on you for a few moments longer, knowing fully well that Caesar, as subtle as he tried to move and angle himself, was looking at you again, though this time the emotions of his eyes altered. They were almost softened, but the ridge of his brow stayed hard. Maurice knew better - Maurice could see the shifts in Caesar. It was only a matter of time until the Ape King came to the same realization.

Being brought to have a meal with him for the first time. ●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

Being escorted up the trail that landed where the Royal Ape family sat was not on your bingo-card for the timid Summer evening you found yourself swimming through. There were two Apes with you - Luca, who had to have been the definition of gentle giant and became a quick friend to you during your time at the Colony and Rocket, Caesar’s right hand man who had to be tied for that position with Maurice. You smiled graciously as they dropped you off at the perched ledge, your feet finding it difficult to move forward when you finally rested your gaze on the King himself. The pure intensity of his green gaze always left you feeling melted and soldered to the very ground you were standing on.

He wasn’t alone and you were quick to break your gawk to flicker your eyes to Blue Eyes, who in his reserved demeanor, only looked at you curiously and popped a berry into his mouth rather reluctantly. The smile you gave him was gentle, understanding. You’d be hesitant of a species you had never met just like he was. He had every right and it was never taken as an offense.

“I-I was told you wanted to see me.” You laughed, trying to cover up the nerves but you knew that Caesar was more than well aware of them based on the sweat radiating off your palms and forehead.

Silence, he just looked at you and captivated your gaze in a dance. It was hard not to look at him, his entire self, the way his shoulders carried his weight, the way his brow sat so sternly against the rest of his features, a permanent scowl always encasing the wrinkled lines along his cheeks, especially under his eyes. Caesar was an experience himself, in every sense of the word and you flexed your hand wanting nothing more than to know what his fur felt like.

He was sitting next to his son, picking up a fresh bowl of what looked like the Elk that had been caught in the hunt earlier in the day and a handful of select berries with a splash of roasted seeds. Your stomach churned at the sight, mouth suddenly dripping as it dawned upon you just how hungry you were.

The bowl slid your way along the slick rock and rattled right at your feet. You looked at it, and then at Caesar and then back at the food. You were about to open your mouth in protest, but Caesar spoke first, that delicious tone he used more than enough to stave off your hunger for days.

“Join.”

Stumbling forward, you were quicker than you wanted to be to grasp the bowl, feeling a bit dizzy when you stood with it in your hand, “Y-- You want me to join you up here? I don’t know, Caesar. Koba’s gonna---”

“Will take care of Koba, join.” Caesar assured you and tentatively put some seeds into his mouth. The crunching of his teeth against them enlightened your senses to how powerful of a jaw he really had and the floating notion that he could rip your limbs off one by one with them was alluring to dive into. Morbidly, you just wanted to know what it felt like. Instead, you felt encased in synthetic movement as you drifted towards him, like he was the source of all gravity, and sat cautiously down.

Cross legged, you placed your own bowl in your lap and set your eyes on the large Ape next to you, then to Blue Eyes who seemed equally curious at his Fathers choice of dinner guest, and then back to Caesar again. Swallowing softly, he did not meet your glance. Instead, silence fell over the two of you as he continued to eat, prompting Blue Eyes to do the same. It looked good, no doubt.

You felt hungry, but all of a sudden, all your eyes wanted to feast on was Caesar. The rise and fall of his shoulders as he moved through his own food, obviously picking out what he liked best from the assortment and bringing them to his lips. You paused there, watching as he placed a berry against them as if in contemplation, the juicy nature speaking wonders as a drip fell onto his chin as he turned towards you slowly. Swallowing, you looked down at your bowl in a bid that maybe he hadn’t seen you staring at him and pretended to be rather interested in the seeds you played around with with your pointer finger.

“Not… hungry?” He finally broke the silence that was radiating through the air like a daft bullet, looking at you from his periphery. The shaking of your hand was more than indicative, the flushed appearance of your cheeks made Caesar want to pick you up right then and trail to the nest. But, reservation was preserved, as it so often did.

“Starving.” You finally admitted with a bashful smile and licked your lips. “Don’t know where to start.”

“Berries are good.” Caesar commented hap-hazardly, delving a bit into the small talk that he knew Humans enjoyed, knew you enjoyed because it drew on your most basic instinct of belonging. He wanted that - for you to feel like you belonged, in fact, that was the entire basis of getting you to come join him for a meal. Just one, and if he felt it went well, there would be another, and then another.

You nodded at that. Berries are good. So, that’s where you started as you picked between them and placed a blueberry in your mouth, Caesar watching with great interest from between the focus on his own food and the floating eyes from his son as you placed it on the tip of your tongue first before bringing it into your mouth with a delectable chew.

Caesar giving you gifts/tokens. ●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

It had been an incredibly long day - and it was one of those days where when one thing went wrong, the dominos began to fall and everything was coated in sour feelings. You had bumped your forehead rolling out of your hut this morning, forgetting that the doorway was smaller than your height, understandably so. Apes often walked on all fours, why would they need a doorway that gave enough clearance for an upright human?

The only place with that here was Caesar’s nest, perched high above the rest. It gave a sense of coziness, until you rammed your head against it. Every feeling in your body from that moment onwards just told you to stay home, that you’d be less of a detriment there than out with the hunt party that was departing at dawn. There was no sustenance to eat- you ended up at the Colony bonfire for breakfast too late. Only a few lingering berries remained, maybe an apple that had a bite taken out of it. Your horse refused to comply with your commands, almost biting your fingers off when you brushed your fingers a bit too close to their muzzle and looking at that now in self-reflection, she probably hated that you were in such a downward mood and sensed to play off of it and lastly, you had stepped in a puddle and the worn nature of your boots caused water to seep and linger on the wool socks you had on.

Grunting quietly to yourself as you trailed back towards your small home after arriving back from the hunt was more egregious; you just felt incredibly sore from sitting on your horse for most of the day, watching as the Apes embarked on a hunt. The grace of which you had never seen. They took to the skies from the trees, getting the advantage of pure silence as they were able to sign amongst each other when prey was spotted. They took to the ground, either on foot or on horseback, all encased in the vivid whitescape of their paint, some adornments of blue and red splashed against the most prestigious.

Caesar’s was red, the detailing on his face and down the center of his chest caught your attention right away but you tried not to linger too adamantly on that and figured you’d have time to obsess alone. And alone you were for most of the day. It was slow on your part- you found no human remnants to scour goods from, another thing to go wrong on a day that you didn't even want to be out of bed for.

Bringing a hand up, you lightly rested it against your shoulder and sighed to yourself, tendering the skin at the base of your neck with the pads of your fingers. Your horse had been given to Luca to place in the paddock, he must have sensed the sort of day it was from the way you dismounted the animal and grumpily handed him the reins. He did not say anything to you, but the kindness of his eyes spoke wonders as you had given him a slight smile before trailing off on your way. You just wanted to sleep and nothing more and your hut was only a few more paces away. The sweet victory of the idyllic nature of your nest was taunting you with its call. The warm animal pelts you had taken in, the knitted tight branches that were surprisingly buoyant when you shifted in your sleep. All things you wanted, all things you needed.

Your feet came to a slow stop against the slick rock underfoot as you rounded the corner towards your own hut, happily situated on the ground rather than floating up-above, as was the preference with Apes. Eyes widening in surprise at the basket in front of the entryway, you narrowed your gaze on it as you got closer, a bit afraid that perhaps Koba was playing a practical ( or cruel ) joke on you.

Upon further inspection with your eyes as you bent down to look at the contents, you deemed it safe and drove your fingers down to see what was in it. It was a simple wicker basket, but it wasn’t made by an Ape - you could tell from the fabrication and the glue that was holding some pieces together. Very obviously human, the Apes made better items than this. You imagined that, the idea of things like this being so mass-produced only ten years ago before the Flu took that away.

Lips parted as your fingers scaled the items in the basket and you were able to properly see what was inside, you felt a rather uncomfortable sensation lifting against your spine, upwards towards the base of your neck and then back downwards. There were… Human things in the basket. All human things. All things you enjoyed, a few bars of soap that were actually encased in original packaging, rare in this society. You looked at them, feeling tears hit the back of your eyes. Shampoo, conditioner. All things Apes wouldn’t understand, the vain essence of humanity holding and rearing its ugly head right against your chest at the fact that you had sorely missed these luxuries and you were going to savor them as long as you could. The last item - incredibly personal in nature.

Tampons.

You picked them up with vicious intent and peeled the box open. It was nearly full and you tilted your head back in pure relief, knowing that you could alternate between them and the cloths you had to be forced to use and re-wash when that time of the month came. There was only one Ape who had a vivid understanding of what it was used for which gave away the suspense of figuring out who had set the items out for you. These were given to you from the King himself; Caesar.

Jaw clenching tightly, you placed all the items back into the basket and lifted yourself up with the basket in tow as a few tears slid down from your eyes, across the barren nature of your cold cheeks and off the drop of your chin. You had no idea where he got ahold of these items, when he had split away from the pack he so often found himself surrounded by to go searching, but you were so incredibly grateful for them, the knowledge that you were able to hold onto a bit of yourself from before the Flu more evident now than ever.

Caesar paced himself on all fours, two or three meters away from you between the trees to make sure you got the items. There was no way for you to not deduce he was the one, there was just the added touch of assurance that you got the items that he was worried more about. He did see you look out, and for a split second, he thought his cover had been blown as you appeared to look right at him, but the nature of his fur catapulted him into a more camouflaged nature and he watched contently as you drifted into the hut you had made your home, arms full of the goods he was able to supply.

Caesar felt obscenely proud and selfishly so at the idea that these things would rocket him on your potential list of suitors. If you had one. If he oh so happened to even be included.

Caesar finally admitting to you his intentions / Forehead Touching for the first time. ●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

It was a remarkably clear day, the thought was only spurred by the sun that drifted downwards and captivated against the skin of your shoulders deliciously. Geographically, you were burdened with many foggy days, many days where the sun could not peek its head out from behind the clouds. But today? Not a problem as you tilted your head back and drew a deep breath in with shut eyes. The way your body moved, the rounded entrancement of your chest, exposed as you were only wearing a light t-shirt, caught the attention of Caesar right away.

He had been so used to the fall and winter months where you were layered beyond belief - an undershirt, over shirt, long sleeve shirt, sweater and jacket. So many layers for him to dismantle when he was left to his own devices in a certain mood. Seeing you like this, the caress of your body against the thin-fabric of the worn out shirt was more than a sight to behold for the Ape next to you. There was a symbol faded against the fabric, lost to time Caesar figured.

The meadow you had so graciously decided to stop and have lunch at on your way back to the Colony from a day spent scouring some human desolations was open for what seemed like miles on all sides. It was happily flushed with lush green grass, dandelions that were just now beginning their transformations from yellow to a pillowing white, wild flowers sprung in patches against your forearms as you rested back against them in a bid to get more sun to soak into your pores. Caesar, as diligent as ever, looked down at you with eyes that could rival the shrubbery in color and elegance.

You smiled at him briefly, bringing a hand up to shield your eyes, your arm grazed along his as you put yourself into position to look up at him without blinding, the rest of your weight fell onto your one supporting forearm. “Seems like so long ago,” That was softly said, as soft as the breeze that touched the most delicate flowers and rattled their petals.

Caesar couldn’t look away from you, could not focus on anything but the way you were speaking to him, your eyes unable to be detected from behind the shielded nature of your outstretched arm and he was left with the delectation of your lower face, your jaw which he wanted nothing more than to bite along, your mouth which he wanted nothing more than to urge and please in a bid for you to say his name. “The days when the sun didn't stop.”

He knew what you were alluding to. The Rise itself and the infraction that humans had to associate that with the ever encompassing wilderness that took its hollow place. There was no argument to be made from Caesar though, the sun did seem to shine so endlessly in the memories he had of his human life.

“Do you… think about them often?”

Your eyes shut and you rested your head back onto the ground in contemplation. It was always a loaded question from Caesar. He asked you when he felt you were being reminded of that time and the answer always depended on how you felt in those moments. Sometimes it was a very flat and honest ‘yes’, sometimes it was a more forlorn and yearned ‘no’, and sometimes? There wasn’t any verbal answer and you just hummed a response, not wanting to answer because there was nothing to truly answer.

You would always think about them, sure, but that did not mean you missed the all encompassing position it was to be a human. The cruelty far outreached the good in most cases and it left an incredibly guilt-ridden emotion to linger along the base of your neck, like a pulled muscle you couldn’t tenderize back into compliance.

“Don’t you?” You finally retorted, Caesar drawn back at the action in your voice. You hadn’t ever answered his posed question like that before.

“Used to a lot,” He admitted without hesitance, “Soon after finding the Woods, establishing,” Caesar gestured broadly. He was talking about the Colony itself. “Thought of them a lot.”

You drew into his words with such passion, reaching for anything he was willing to tell you about that time in his life and how it led him to this moment. Taking a deep breath into your lungs, you savored the smell of honeysuckle mixing with Caesar’s waft, so crisp like the river water but musky like the ground of the woods after a clear rain. Consequentially, when you finally looked up at him and caught eyes, yours were widely dilated from the pure draw of his essence. “Did it hurt to leave them?”

Caesar seemed to contemplate that for more than a moment, his head tilting to the side and brows relaxing with the thoughts running through his strategic mind. How you wanted to bury yourself into his brain just to capture a glimpse of his outrageously confident and skilled thought-process. It still rattled you to your core this day when you thought about it for too long.

“Yes.”

A strict admittance, but you expected nothing less from him. “I thought… it would kill me.” Pushing yourself into a seated position instead of resting on your back, your gaze fell on the King and you found yourself tracing the smoothened lines under his eyes and how they always appeared to make his expression sad and tired. Maybe he was, you had no way to know unless he explicitly told you how he was feeling. Rare in and of itself.

“But, then… Cornelia… My… Son…” He nodded to himself and shut his green eyes in a contemplative melancholy, almost hypnotic state like the memories he was remembering where pulling his entire soul back to the moments they happened. “I would not be here had… had I not left… them behind. We… Ape...” There was a sudden flicker of heat in his gaze when he opened his eyelids and looked towards you, captivating your view with pure and undiluted strength and confidence in his answers.

“Would not be here. All… I have ever wanted,” He was marked with emboldened taste as he raised a hand to place it against your cheek. Not the first time you had him touch you, though certainly it was the first time he put intentional thought and provocation behind it. “Here. Now.”

His fingers were incredibly thick, one of them in diameter equaled two of your own. The strength at which he held the side of your face, your head tilting towards the warmth of his open palm as your eyelids drooped to a slow shut, told you wonders of what lay underneath. Caesar was undoubtedly holding back, the knowledge that he could touch you and cause bruises more than catering to his subconscious desire to tear you bit by bit just to get more of you. “Why… think about the past…”

His speech was slower but the words he was picking up from you to complete more coherent statements was remarkable in the time you had known each other. His fingers had drifted inwards ever so slightly, a centimeter apart until he had encapsulated your bottom lip with his thickened thumb. You swallowed with action, bringing your head forward and with a rush, Caesar had his forehead against your own and the back of his hand was embracing the back of your skull to keep you close. “When we have future?”

Caesar being protective / Defending You. ●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

It was difficult to describe. The way that Caesar looked at you, his hands splayed with blood when he went to cup the side of your face to keep it steady, the bloodied hand print adorned the usually smooth and loved nature of your skin. Frantic, the way his eyes split between your fluttering lids, the way that he looked at your lips before bringing his face close to feel the air coming from them. Alive, that action said. Lulling your head to the side, you found it difficult to maintain the stance your neck had to stay upright. You looked at Caesar for a second in a gartered haze, your eyes blurring to focus with intent. Swallowing softly, you narrowed your gaze but could not find it in yourself to centralize on any focal point.

Your head lulled back, your vision blurred.

Snapping yourself out of unconsciousness, you gasped when you felt your body weight leaving the ground but you couldn’t do anything about it, not even struggle to get a grip on whatever, or whomever was picking you up, one arm was resting against your chest, the other sprung out to the air as you were hoisted upwards. The fur that stuck to the fabric of your cargo pants, usually such a treat against your bare skin, was starch with a mixture of blood and rain water.

Your head lulled back, your vision was flushed with red.

You could see Koba, at least you thought in whatever drift of awareness you found yourself in. Smiling, it almost looked like as he signed a rather vague ‘weak human’. A body next to him--- You groaned to yourself at the approximation of his stance, the pure sweep of aggression he had against his fellow brother, gait intimidating and wide, staring Koba down with the intensity of what had to be the sun. Movements, you couldn’t pick them apart. The two Apes became a tanglement of nothing but arms and legs scratching into the air, scratching at each other and your mind was unable to dictate them apart from each other as it became one continuous blur of darkened fur. You could have sworn you yelled his name, telling him to stop but that was tangled in the actions of you being carried away.

Something wet against your temple. You wanted nothing more to get rid of the aggravation that the sensation caused as it dripped from the side of your head into your hair and bunched the strands together but your arms weren’t complying with your brains commands to move. Words were fluttering around you, rumbling in nature like the thunder that would shake the Earth during a storm.

Koba. Pushed. Hit head.

You got that and you were suddenly placed against what felt like stone. Cold and smooth, there weren’t divots poking their way into your body, but the burning from your head made you wonder if you were even comprehensive enough to know that or if you were floating off into oblivion. Intentionally smoothed, you thought to yourself and laughed at that, trying to feebly hold onto brittle consciousness. The comfort of a smooth rock, the rock itself being harder than anything else against the curvature of your spine. With swiftness, you were being analyzed. Your head, primarily. A set of hands, calloused around the edges, were cradling your neck before aiming to place a cloth against the right side of your temple. You groaned at that, squeezing your eyes shut as it came almost flooding back to you in waves.

You had been sitting with Caesar, Blue Eyes, Maurice… Rocket, Ash, you felt silly like you were naming the entire Colony but there was one more scarred face that no matter how many times you were encountered with it, left you chilled to your spine from the lack of empathy every shown towards him and the hatred that seeped through, even through his one milky eye. Koba. The eternity of Caesar’s closest council… You had been there.

Smacking your lips, you tried to open your eyes all the way but the sting of liquid in them caused you to squeeze them shut as the presumed wound on the side of your head was being tendered by the beautiful adorned staff of Female Apes whom had knowledge to treat, primitive as the methods were to you at times. Caesar had… asked you to be there, at the meeting itself, the topic was what to do about the Human Colony in San Francisco. He figured maybe you could give good introspective advice given you were a human.

Something… God, your memory was blurred in a heated frenzied chase to remember the smaller notions of how you ended up with a head injury. Something was said, something Koba didn't agree with - you cracked your fuzzy mind but there was nothing you said that could have been said that would cause Koba to lash out and blatantly attack you. Not in front of Caesar, at least. He was aggressive around you, but he was also incredibly coy.

The room came to a halt, cloth pressed against your temple and swiped away the blood before ceasing as heavy thudded footsteps radiated through the small hut you were warmly encased in. Or the warmth was coming from your body's natural response to being hurt, you had no idea but it felt good enough as you urged your eyelids open for a split second. Caesar.

There was a rush of signing between the King and the other Apes in the room, and with one last glance at you, they dissipated, almost into the air behind Caesar as he sauntered forward, the prickle of his fur on edge still, blood on his hand but now? There was blood casing around his nose, downwards and against his thinned lips, into his mouth and splattered along his teeth.

Guilt surged in you, “Kob- You- Attacked---” Whatever you were trying to say was hushed as Caesar grasped the side of your head, gently this time and tilted so he could get a better view. “‘M okay. Just…” You made a clicking sound with your tongue, “Bonk.”

“Injury like this…” Caesar chuffed, trying so desperately to stop his heart from flying right out of his chest and going back to finish the job with one of his most trusted advisors, “Can… be bad for humans.”

You shut your eyes when he put your head back upright. The primal perception was washing off of Caesar like it was a deep revelation. It was almost smothering, the way that he grasped for the cloth and began cleaning your wound himself, eager to see just how much damage there was in some attempt to bid his time rather than lashing back at Koba for what had been done. “Ape,” His voice was nothing more than a low surge against you, “Do not kill Ape, but…”

There were no buts, you wanted to say as you squeezed your eyes shut when he placed the cloth against a rather tender spot. He pulled back adamantly, and moved forward to work another spot in your hairline and further into your hair. He knew, oh how he knew that you were going to complain about the dried blood in your hair, subconsciously Caesar found himself drawn to cope with that before you really became aware of it.

“Koba… wanted to prove… Human weaker than Ape… Should attack them. Pushed you to show,” Caesar gritted his teeth together and you swore you could hear the friction from inside of his mouth. It was evident in the stiffening of his body language that he was beating himself up for not being able to react fast enough to the situation, “Hit head on rock. Blood,” His voice hushed into a minor but hard whisper, “everywhere. Had you carried off… Before… ”

He didn't bother continuing on that train. It was dead and gone as far as Caesar was concerned, not wanting now to recollect how perfect it felt to have his hands against Koba’s threat when in the surge of a protective instinct that washed over him at the mere sight of you on the ground, unconscious. Caesar cradled your head with surprising gentleness and you found yourself relaxing right into it. The action itself spoke wonders of his true, deeply ingrained feelings. Mate, the hold said, my mate.

“We are weaker.” You laughed out, finally snapping yourself into a more lucid state. You suspected a concussion, but there was no clear way to know as you finally got your eyes to stay open and focused on the green and gold nature of Caesar’s irises. So close to your own, you could swoop up and kiss him if that was your desire. He only chortled in response to your words, knowing that joking was often used as a way to cope with messier situations.

“No,” Caesar reassured and brushed a hand through the other side of your head. Never with his fingers really ingrained in, but more like a mild petting of comfort, usually reserved for moments after climax when you had tangled against him in pleasure. “Koba… weak. You…” The Ape King took a deep breath in and let himself sink his head down to kiss his forehead lightly against yours, upside down. The captivation he had on you down to the minute detailing of his fur tickling under your nose always left you dizzying for more, and you were grateful that Caesar did not pull away this time and lingered, “You are my strength.”

[flcwermimi]

❛ THE ICEBERG EFFECT IN THE VOID STATE ❜

Even after doing right things / following the right method / being persistant towards our desires sometimes we don't get the fruitful outcome and we all have asked ourselves WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?

According to the research our conscious mind which is aware of our feelings, thoughts and behaviour is like a tip of an ICEBERG visible above the water & on the other hand majority of the iceberg, representing the unconscious mind, lies hidden beneath the surface.The unconscious mind is thought to contain instincts, repressed memories, and other mental processes that we are not directly aware of, but which still influence our behavior and decision-making.

Hand to Hand same happens on our Void/Manifestation journey. The ICEBERG in the void state are :

— SUPPRESSED EMOTIONS - Not being able to confess what u actually feel & often ignoring the emotions overcome this by doing some action regarding when u actually feel happy or angry CONFESS IT ' I am happy/ angry '

— UNRESOLVED PAST TRAUMA/ ISSUE - Even u feel it doesn't effect at all but it does unconsciously the burden of UNRESOLVED THINGS or UNADRESSES ISSUE can lead to several mental issue and to overcome it once must overlook yourself, apologize if u are wrong,get help, share their feelings with someone

— SCARED OF THEIR DESIRE - Often someone DM 's me saying that they're scared of having their desire which is completely normal and I feel to restrict this feeling from their self once should just appreciate their self , hangout with good energy people and decrease their screen time

— SOMETHING HOLDING BACK : From my recent post I got many DM regarding how they feel what is holding them back and it's important to have knowledge on the rights things misinformation sometimes stick to ourselves very deeply

— SELF DOUBT : Many people doubts them regarding the how powerful they're, they often find validation to have their desire so it's very important to work on self-concepts and stop questioning " is it possible" or " can I have this or that?"

— NOT STICKING TO ONE THING : One individual when they're trying to enter void often keeps changing methods or finding something which can magically help them and it often leads them finding hard to believe in any methods. Even if u fail at one method at 3 - 4 times doesn't mean it's not effective it's all about mindsets u must stick to one thing and stop looking sources like ' enter the void instantly/ do this method to happen in second ' because u are not realising how powerful u are actually u don't need those things everything is on your command

— COMPLICATING THINGS : As I seen so many of people making a bunch of routine it irritates me cause They are listening subliminals also and on the side they are even doing robotic affirmation and also five minutes they are doing PSYCH -K and next they are also doing mediation and on the night they will put long bunch hypnosis and in the same night they are doing WBTB method trust me you don't need so much things u doing these all things result that u are putting the void on the pedestal Just question yourself this all is needed?doing so much u are exhausting yourself physically and mentally

— TIME : For those who really starts to panic when they don't enter void on the specific time it's ok time hasn't been wasted nothing is wrong when u didn't enter the void on your specific time the only thing u will be doing wrong in that time is making diffrent theories, underestimating yourself, finding different methods, saying yourself a failure

So these we're some things I wanted to list from the very starting I hope u all read it all through find what is actually stopping you and there is no guarantee this thing happens to each and everyone I have listed it down by over analysing the success stories, my experience

Further what u can do is listen to self concept subliminals, building confidence, don't overwork on your selves, stop finding validation and logic in everything , surrounding yourself with postive beliefs , patience is virtue so keep persisting , do something new daily as if meditate or write a journal or share your thoughts with others learn new skills

That's it all no iceberg effect is bigger than you so stop doubting yourself you can do this it's all easy peasy 🤍🫶

[rocketbirdie]

YOU. You are correct about Cloud Strife. Everything you say about him is CORRECT

Hi I'm going to use your ask as an opportunity to go on an unhinged tangent about him below the cut.

I believe that EVERYTHING about Cloud Strife as a character makes total sense once you realize: it's autism.

Here's a character whose entire arc revolves around the erosion of his identity and his desperate attempts to adhere to an ideal image, at the expense of his own wellbeing; and how self acceptance is the thing that brings him back from the edge of despair.

Youtube theorycrafters waste hours of their lives trying to piece together Cloud's psyche, when the answer is just... autism. It really is that simple. I will die on this goddamn hill.

In Trace of Two Pasts, we learn that even as a toddler, Cloud really was just... like that. Unemotive and awkward. And the entire lifestream sequence in the OG shows us a young Cloud who behaves in baffling ways. Tifa and her friends invited Cloud into their group, but he rejected their friendship while simultaneously harboring a seething jealousy. How the heck does that work, huh?

Viewing this through the Autism Lens™️, his approach make way more sense. Fearing his own inability to read and reciprocate their intentions, he pushes them away, and the resulting loneliness crushes him. He mistakes that loneliness for anger. He turns that anger outwards and gets into fights. Because the other kids don't understand him, Cloud sees them as stupid and immature. It's the perfect recipe for disastrous distrust. The tragic result is that, when Tifa gets into her accident, Cloud is immediately blamed by kids AND adults. He's seen as inherently dangerous and unpredictable, even though he did nothing wrong. It's like they were already looking for the perfect excuse to hate him.

The worst part is, because he struggles to articulate his own thoughts and feelings, he starts to just... accept what other people say about him. He's a pain in the ass. He's a selfish brat. He could try being a bit nicer. Any attempt that he makes to argue, backfires and proves their points even more. He's being childish. He needs to get his shit together. Nothing's ever good enough for him. He stops fighting it and lets people drag him around and violate his boundaries, because no matter how loud he yells or how intelligently he argues, nothing he says ever reaches their ears. He trims away more and more of himself to try and appease others and nurse the constant emotional pain. (And that's not even addressing the entire traumatic *waves hands* everything that he's gone through by the time he reaches Midgar! That would have to be its own tangent lol.)

It's hard to watch as a player; the secondhand embarrassment of Cloud's social blunders is immense. Some people don't like Cloud as a video game protagonist, which is perfectly valid. But a lot of times, they justify their opinion by perpetuating the same damaging language. He's an asshole, he's a weirdo, he hates people. The irony would be hilarious if it wasn't so frustrating. I know Cloud is just a fictional character, he doesn't need to be defended from harsh criticisms. But I can't help but wonder what these players think about the "weird people-hating assholes" that they meet in real life.

It also makes me wonder if they were even paying attention. I think the games make it pretty damn obvious what's going on. He's an asshole because other characters treat him like one before they even get to know him. He hates people because he doesn't understand them, and they don't even try to understand him. He's a weirdo because he has a strange way of showing how deeply he loves and cares, and he's afraid that his love will be misinterpreted like every other emotion he's ever dared to show.

The autism is everywhere. It permeates his entire being. It's in his silly responses when he takes things too literally. It's in his painfully practical way with words. It's in the stiff expressionless look and the flat tone of voice. It's in him constantly adjusting his gloves, shifting his weight, looking down at his feet. It's in his questionable idea of what you're supposed to do with your body at a yoga session. It's in the half a dozen flustered high fives, it's in the motion sickness. It's in the contagious eagerness with his special interests in SOLDIER and materia and chocobos.

It's in the moments where the facade crumbles and we get to see the real Cloud, the one that Aerith knew was in there— the one that Tifa finds in the lifestream— the one that Zack gave his life for— the Cloud that cherishes the whole world. He's got so much of everything inside of his heart, and he doesn't know how to get it out. You'd be a weird asshole about it, too.

[writeyouin]

Lucifer (Hazbin Hotel) X Fem-Reader - Sinless Sinners - Chapter 5

Chapter 5 - Stories and Dolls

A/N – Okay, so I just quit my job and I’m freefalling right now. Time to channel my anxiety into fanfiction. Also, this chapter is darker so I’m raising the rating to M.

Warnings – MENTIONS OF RAPE, S/A, ABUSE, KIDNAPPING, AND TORTURE.

Rating – M

TAG-LIST: @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @sseleniaa @randomgurl2326 @22carolina08 @astrxwitch @yu-87 @clover-1767 @lil-bexie @thesimpybitch @reverse-soe @koirb @usernameunavailable2 @lavenderkita @kannakanan @mcueveryday @amarokofficial @mbruben-stein @tyrythewolf @lasagna-501 @bizzardvark @firefirefeline @kaylanotkk @missme-07 @memontica @angelsdemonsmonsters @tj4shy

MALE VERSION HERE

GN VERSION HERE

Lucifer had to admit, he was getting used to you. He enjoyed making breakfast a show in the morning, entertaining you with his parlour tricks and general showmanship. You were like a child, easily amused by flashing lights or some sleight of hand.

And of a night, he also found your company less than objectionable, whether you were reading a book in the library with Spick and Span curled up at your feet, in front of a roaring fire (you had conjured them medallions with their names on them, so as to tell them apart), or those nights when you came back from visiting the hotel and regaled him with the tales of its inhabitants. Lucifer was starting to like Angel Dust, even if he didn’t believe the porn star actually had a chance at redemption. Nifty also seemed entertaining, Husk could be a source of wisdom and comfort in equal measure, and Alastair… Well, he was there too, taking up too much of your attention.

Yet, despite his newfound almost-friendship with you, he couldn’t help thinking about what you had said on your first night in the manor.

‘You don’t even know why I’m down here, and you don’t want to know, right? ‘Cos all of us filthy Sinners must be the same.’

You were right. He didn’t know why you were there, and that was driving him crazy. He wanted to like you. Truly, he did. But how could he like you when he didn’t know your sin? People got sent to Hell for a reason! They wasted their free will. They sold drugs to kids, murdered people, trafficked victims, tricked and swindled others. For all Lucifer knew, you were there for drowning puppies.

The thought made him deeply uncomfortable.

Okay. He would ask you about it. No big deal. People probably talked about why they went to Hell a lot right? That was a normal conversation for Sinners, probably…

Lucifer wasn’t entirely wrong in thinking that. However, nearly all Sinners lied about what they went to Hell for, making it even more brutal or horrifying to try and earn some extra credit among their fellow Demons. Someone who had killed one person would claim to have been a serial killer. A low-life drug dealer would paint themselves as a mafioso with a drug empire, and arsonists… They didn’t have to lie much, as fires tended to spread quickly and they generally were as psychotic as they claimed to be.

It was all basic self-preservation in Hell. Be the toughest person there, so nobody could find new ways to hurt you. Kill or be killed (figuratively, since Demons couldn’t technically kill other Demons), sink or swim, do unto others before they did unto you.

Right. When Lucifer next saw you, he would ask.

“Hey Lucifer,” You said upon returning to the manor from the Hotel, “You doing okay?”

Lucifer froze. He hadn’t expected to see you so soon. Fuck.

“Hey bitch,” Lucifer greeted, feeling entirely awkward, yet trying to feign confidence.

“Uh… Back at ya,” You reciprocated confusedly.

“Sooooo,” Lucifer started, steepling his fingers together, and holding them to his mouth, his brow knitting together worriedly, “I have a question for you.”

“Oh.” You were surprised by Lucifer’s admission. While the two of you generally made conversation, he didn’t tend to ask too much. Besides, in the preface of announcing his question, it seemed that he was likely to ask you something personal.

You waved your hand casually, indicating that he was free to ask away.

“How- Uh how was everything at the Hotel? Is my little girl doing okay?”

As you smiled and fell into a description of how Charlie was doing and her general excitement about her meeting with Heaven, Lucifer cursed himself. He knew that what he wanted to ask was important, but it was just so personal. Well, at least he was happy to hear about his daughter. There were also some other colourful stories included in your conversation.

Finally, you wrapped up the conversation, effectively ending it when you casually said, “Anyway, I’m going to get ready for bed. I’m real tired, you know?”

Lucifer didn’t say much as you left, he was still pondering whether you might be a puppy killer or relative and accomplice to that Jeffrey Dahmer fellow, or something equally disturbing. If not… Why were you there?

Having gotten ready for bed, you sighed, letting the day’s events wash over you, lifting a weight off your shoulders. You were tired, but the day had been a good productive one. Moreover, it was nice to end the day by standing out on the balcony, overlooking the rest of Hell.

There was a time when you had died, during which you stood atop a building in the main streets watching all the fights, looting, and maiming, and you were horrified. Then, you met Charlie, and she had been so wonderfully pure, good, and non-judgemental that you had to agree with her. Hell could be a home to you, and all the other Sinners who lived there, and Sinners could always change for the better.

While you held onto the balcony railing, leaning over it, and staring at the red horizon, Lucifer approached your open door at the entrance of your room, knocking despite the open invitation to come in.

You turned and smiled at him, your smile putting him at ease.

“Come in,” You offered.

He did so, crossing the large room and taking quick mental notes of the changes you had made. They were minor, but they spoke of your personality. You had lit scented candles, brightening the room – the official scent name was Tapioca Tit-play.

Subconsciously, Lucifer worked his magic to remove the off-smell that he had placed there; it was redundant when your candles covered it, and he didn’t mind your company so much anymore.

He also observed several other items. There was a photograph of everyone at the Hotel, though you had drawn Alastor on the end in crayon since he didn’t love to be captured in photographs (he could bear it unlike being filmed, but he didn’t care much for it.)

Wrapped around your bedposts were nightlights to keep out the dark. On your bed, you had a teddy of one of Sir Pentious’ egg-bois, a gift from him. Husk had gifted you with a bottle of his best Whiskey, though it remained unopened on the nightstand. There was a cockroach/daisy hybrid necklace wrapped around a book. The candles were from Angel Dust. Beneath your pillow was a dagger, gifted by Vaggie, for your protection. Alastor had given you a collection of books from the store in Cannibal Town, including several that were rumoured to have been stolen from Heaven’s library, though nobody was certain where that rumour started or if it was even true, though there were no copies of the books anywhere else in Hell.

Although Lucifer had no way of knowing these items were all presents from your friends at the Hazbin Hotel, he could tell that you cared deeply for the odd assortment by their placement on the two bedside tables; they had been positioned with care, and were well looked after.

Then, his eye caught the rubber duck, slightly hidden behind the picture frame. He remembered making that one. As a hellhound imitation, it was meant to teleport to whoever needed it most inside the Manor, offering protection should they come under attack. Naturally, he and his family didn’t need such protection, but he had been experimenting with what powers he might imbue unto yet another duck.

He decided not to mention it as he joined you on the balcony, looking you over in your pyjamas.

You also spared him a glance, noting that he seemed more relaxed. Although he was still in his usual attire, he had removed his top-hat-crown and his overcoat, revealing the waistcoat and shirt beneath; the sleeves were rolled up, giving him a more casual appearance.

“Hell’s skies are beautiful, aren’t they,” You stated, returning your gaze to the horizon.

Lucifer looked up, but all he saw was Heaven, the home that didn’t want him.

“(Y/N),” He started, forcing himself to look down, so he wouldn’t have to stare at the painfully beautiful golden glow above.

“Hm?”

“How did you end up here?”

Your grip tightened on the railing drawing Lucifer’s gaze to the whites of your knuckles.

Your whole body became tense and you answered with a ragged breath, “I died.”

“Yes but-” Lucifer was about to lead into the question of your sins, but you spoke up again, seemingly misunderstanding the question as you continued, tears forming at the corners of your eyes.

“I was- I was murdered.”

Lucifer could have explained that the cause of your death wasn’t what he had been driving at, but now he was darkly fascinated. If you were the same kind-hearted, warm person in life, why would anyone wish to bring about your death?

He remained silent as you began recounting the manner in which you had been killed.

“I had a friend,” You started slowly, taking steady breaths between each part of the story that followed as if it would make it any easier. “I mean- I- I thought he was my friend. I loved him. He knew that. He counted on it.”

“I thought that he travelled for work. That’s what he told me. It’s why he was always coming and going. But no… He was just looking for more people like me. He found people. Made us fall for him. Then he- he took me out on a date. Blindfolded me. Said it was a surprise. I- I trusted him, but the blindfold just made it easier for him to- He knocked me out.”

You subconsciously touched the back of your head, remembering the blow that had come with no warning.

Lucifer turned to you, one hand holding onto the railing, the other planted firmly at his side.

“Did he-” He started to ask.

You shook your head. “It wasn’t rape. It was worse.”

You shivered, waiting until you were certain you weren’t going to vomit. Then you continued, your skin ashy.

“I woke up in a- It was like a cinderblock cell, but it had been sort of decorated to look like a fancy suite?”

You recalled the room. It was damp, and the floor was cheaply produced concrete, given away by the amount of air bubbles which had never been levelled and now pocked the surface, like a teenager with bad acne. The cinderblock walls were easy to see, though some talented artist had been paid to paint it with the likeness of the Ritz hotel or somewhere equally fancy. While that had made it look better, it was still clearly a cinderblock wall; then again, you can’t polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter.

You had been handcuffed to a chair in the centre of the room. Your clothes had been taken, and you had been dressed in a skimpy shortened tuxedo, with a fitted vest instead of a jacket. You remembered screaming till your voice was raw. You screamed so much that you ended up spitting flecks of blood, but nobody came to save you.

“I- I was tied up,” You said simply, downplaying the memory to Lucifer, more for your own sake than his, though he could see the pain behind your eyes.  

Lucifer didn’t interrupt your story, but his anger was growing. Behind him his tail lashed furiously, his eyes became flaming red, and his fangs became sharper. You hadn’t noticed, you were lost in memory, and you had yet to look his way since beginning your story.

You sighed, thinking of the torture, humiliation, and suffering which followed, all at the hands of one man. It wasn’t your captor. It was who he had sold you to.

“It- I was- They were making snuff films. I don’t know how many people died there before or after me but- I was sold to an American. He- He liked to cut things. It was a while before- I don’t know if I bled out, or if my heart stopped, maybe both?”

For the first time, your skin changed colour, turning from your regular human shade to a pale seaweed-green. Against the colourful backdrop, Lucifer could see your now blinding white glowing scars. Upon your death they remained hidden, completely invisible, but now you were distressed… You seemingly did have something of a Demonic appearance after all.

You were a ragdoll.

There wasn’t a part of your body that hadn’t been cut, or originally sliced off, only to be repaired in death. In all likelihood, your real body was probably burned, buried, or dissolved in acid. In Hell, your scars were the stitches that held your body together. Lucifer now understood your human appearance since like a real ragdoll, you were good at playing dress-up. He bet that if you explored your abilities, you would have been able to look like anyone, a skin-changer, but you had adopted your appearance in life; it was likely an accident caused by the trauma of your memories.

“(Y/N),” Lucifer said through gritted teeth. He wanted to be comforting, but he was already thinking of all the ways he would punish your killer and any accomplice he may have had. There were worse things than Death in hell; he would torture those bastards for eternity, and then when he finally grew bored, he would end them with angelic weaponry, wiping their souls from existence, leaving no trace of such monsters.

You didn’t turn to face your King, who was now in his full Demonic form, his rage at its peak.

“Just go,” You murmured despondently, staring over the balcony, and down to the ground. A long drop and a short stop… It was a shame it wouldn’t kill you; at least the pain would end if you died.

“But-” Lucifer reached you to put a hand on your shoulder, his wings almost curling around you as if to envelop you.

“I- I would like to be alone. Please.”

Lucifer hesitantly withdrew his hand, “I’m sorry.”

That was all he said before walking away, leaving you alone.

You wished that you could have been left to wallow, but your phone soon buzzed and you opted to check it in case it was an emergency.

Retrieving it from the bed, you found a message from Charlie.

“EMERGENCY. ANGEL DUST. RELAPSE. GET OVER HERE. PLEASE!”

Damn it! If Charlie was texting you for this, it meant that Husk was either the cause or he wasn’t around to be the solution. Moreover, while Charlie would want to assist her friend, she was likely the last person Angel Dust wanted to see; sometimes, though she was well-intentioned, she just didn’t understand such issues or she could be a bit much.

Still stuck in your ragdoll body, you ran back to the balcony and vaulted over the edge. It wasn’t a smooth landing, and it hurt a lot. Anyone else would have broken their bones, but when you were like this, there wasn’t anything else that could be broken. Everything had already been torn off you. Ignoring the pain, you ran until you found a taxi. You took it to the Hotel.

[itsthestutterforme]

Copy That (Jack Reacher x ex!wife!reader)

Summary: Much against his preference, he gave you a call and asked for your help. When a hit was hired to take you out, he deeply regrets getting you involved.

Notes: GIF is not mine, this is not a beta’d read, protective Reacher, soft Reacher, reader is black, technically this is a drabble but there will be more drabble with the same characters

—

“Who’s able to hack into a system with this much encryption?” Rocoe asks, linking her arms over her head as she leaned back into her chair.

“Let me see,” Reacher turns the monitor to face him. There’s a black screen with a singular white box that asks for a password.

Obviously it’s more than a password. They probably beefed up their cybersecurity when he noticed someone getting too close to their operation, Reacher thought to himself.

“Finlay, do you have any friends in cybersecurity security that we can trust?” Roscoe asks.

“Negative,” Reacher knew exactly the person for the job. He hadn’t spoken to you in years, and he didn’t want the first time he contacted you to be when he needed something.

But he didn’t have any other choice.

You wanted out of field work two years after your operations team disbanded. In that way, you were opposite of Neagley, your best friend.

You liked being in the comfort of your own office, free to do anything you’d like when waiting for the decryption to crack.

Life with you was domesticated. Life with you was peaceful. A level of peace he wasn’t sure he would feel again, even if he went back to his favorite home town growing up.

“Reacher?” Roscoe asks, touching her forearm to bring him out of his thoughts. “Where’d you go?” “Nowhere, I’m right here. I know someone,” Reacher finally says, pulling out his burner phone.

“Really? You have friends?” Finlay jabs, earning a glare from Reacher. He dialed your number and put the phone on speaker.

You were in the middle of doing a headstand lotus on your yoga mat when you heard your phone vibrate.

It was from an unsaved number. There was two people that would call from unsaved number: Neagley or Reacher.

You answered the phone and moved across your office to close all the blinds. “Y/L/N,” you answer and you were met with silence.

“If this is some ploy to scare me, you really suck at it.” Reacher stared at the phone, his heart pattering wildly in his chest.

You just had that effect on him.

You were about to hang up the phone when you heard a low baritone say your name.

You looked down at the number before bringing the phone back up to your ear. “Reacher? Is everything okay?”

You peeked through the blinds of your office and saw no one suspicious but you can never be too careful.

“I, uh.” Reacher starts, earning confused stares from Finlay and Roscoe. They hadn’t seen him speechless before.

He takes the phone off speaker and goes outside for some privacy. “Y/N, I need your help cracking something. You’re more than welcome to say no-“ “Send it over,” you interrupt.

“I can’t. It’s likely they’ll track the IP address to you and pay you a visit.” “Let them try.” A proud smile makes its way on his face. That’s my girl.

“It’s safer with us. I’ll send you the coordinate incognito.” “Jesus, Reacher. What have you gotten yourself into?”

“It’s something I have to finish,” “How long should I pack for?” His silence told you all you needed to know.

“I’ll be on the next flight out,”

**

You stepped off the metro with your carry on suitcase by your side and a backpack on.

You downed the rest of your coffee and tossed it in the waste bin before advancing towards the escalator. You scanned the area for Reacher with no avail but Reached saw you.

He didn’t want to call attention to you by calling your name so he watched as you waited for the escalator.

“Wow, she’s.. ” Finlay trails off when Reacher’s gaze left you to stare at him. “Really pretty,” Roscoe finishes. “She’s clearly your girlfriend,” Finlay adds.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” “You’re rather protective of her. You care about her.”“That doesn’t make her my girlfriend,”

“Uh guys, where’d she go?” Roscoe starts. The group looks at the empty space where you were previously standing.

“Fuck,” Reacher rushes down the stairs, Finlay and Roscoe not far behind. I should have never took my eyes off of her, Reacher thought to himself. If she dies, I swear to God.

Meanwhile, you stood over the man who had pushed you a few feet into the metro tunnel.

He had pressed a knife to your throat while his teammate searched your belongings. They expected you to be a quick kill.

You had to say you were a bit insulted that they only sent two men after you. They must not see you as a physical threat. That was their mistake.

He laid at your feet, his eyes widen as he looks up at you. He peers over to his teammate who laid dead on the tracks, his neck split wide open.

You slowly approached him and he attempted to crawl away from you. The blood from his chest wound stains the pavement under near him.

You wasted no time as you pressed your boot down on his trachea. He gripped your ankle, looking up at you with pleading eyes.

Thrusting your foot down, you crushed his trachea and watched as his chest slowly falls to a stop.

You slung your book bag over your shoulder and rolled your carry on back to the metro docking station.

Reacher had his back toward you, he was talking to two people you didn’t recognize.

A younger woman looked over at you, her mouth fell open at the sight of you. You’re sure you had blood splattered across your neck and face.

She mumbles something to Reacher and spun around so fast, you’re surprised he didn’t crack his neck.

In the blink of an eye, he was in front of you. He doesn’t say anything at first. You admired the stubble that was forming on his face.

You were always a sweetheart for facial hair. He held your face, turning your head from side to side in search of wounds. His hand gently trailed down your abdomen.

He continued his silent survey until you said, “Reach, I’m fine. The blood isn’t mine.”

His gaze fell behind you before returning to your face. He raised his brow and you nodded at his silent question. They were dead.

“I should have kept my eyes on you. This is my fault. I’m sorry.” “Hey, you taught me well. I handled myself. Besides, it was only two guys.”

“What did they use?” “Knives,” you said with a smirk. “They didn’t stand a chance,” he says, making your smirk widen. “No, they didn’t.”

“Sorry to interrupt but uh,” Finlay hands you a hanker chief, motioning to your face. “We should go. You’re getting stares.”

“Y/N Y/L/N, pleasure.” You reached down to grab your luggage but Reacher beats you to it.

You didn’t bother arguing with him, you were occupied with getting all of the blood off of your skin while it was still wet.

“So.. are you Reacher’s girlfriend?” Finlay asks as he opened the trunk and Reacher slide your luggage inside.

Roscoe looked at you expectantly, which tells you that she has a crush on him.

You don’t blame her. He’s Jack Reacher after all.

“No, I’m his ex-wife.” You answer, setting your book bag next to your luggage before closing the trunk. Roscoe’s mouth fell once again, along with Finlay’s.

They stared at you as if they were waiting for you to say just kidding. You slide into the back seat and Reacher joined you.

“Close your mouth, Finlay. You’ll catch flies.” He says before closing the door.

“Care to tell me what happened the last time you were at the metro?” You asked when you all piled into the car.

“What do you mean?” Roscoe asks as Finlay pulls off the curb and descends into exit to go onto the freeway.

“The way you were looking for me was frantic. It makes sense why Reach was worried, but not you two. Something else happened at the metro station. Someone was taken out like they tried to take me out. Who was it?” You explain.

Finlay and Roscoe looked shared a look but didn’t say anything.

“There was a woman. Her name was Molly-“ “Molly? As in Molly Gordon?” “You know her?”

“Joe brought her as his plus one to my sister’s baby shower. God, that’s.. how’s Joe holding up?” You asked, your mouth felt dry at the new information.

Reacher looks at you, his features hard as stone. Your heart sank in your chest the longer you stared at him.

You felt compelled to reach for his hand in comfort but you had to remind yourself that he wasn’t big on public affection.

Nor was he big on being vulnerable in front of people so you kept your hands in your lap.

“How long?” You asked after a pause. “It’s been a few days now,” Finlay confirms. “They got too close,” you said with a sigh.

“How many people have died?” “Five so far,” Roscoe answers. “And that’s just the ones we found,” Finlay adds.

“So they’re dropping people like flies and it’s still a state police matter?”

Bringing in the FBI and the CIA will only push these people into the hiding. We need to lure them out and kill them.” Reacher explains and you nodded in agreement.

“Copy that,”

[fluorynn]

-`♡´- 🪼 — 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝, 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭.

-`♡´- 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : jake sully ✘ fem!reader ✘ neytiri

-`♡´- 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : Love is one you never thought to experience after leaving your vanishing planet, and soon you’d be departing from existence. But that didn’t mean you didn’t want it, and it seems your wants were heard because here you were, on a rare, beautiful planet, with not one but two lovers who bathed you with love endlessly.

Jake Sully; the one who found your figure far more pretty and angelic than any other human in earth, a blunt, impetuous, stupidly beautiful man, adapted into one of the people, Toruk Makto, Olo’eyktan, who had and took his second chance in starting a new life with you and the Omatikaya people’s daughter, Neytiri.

Neytiri te Tskaha Mo'at'ite; bold, fierce, unyielding, devastatingly gorgeous, found surprise in tolerating a simple human’s presence. deeply intrigued to know you, a simple human without an avatar. That intrigue morphed into never ending adoration when she discovered you’re not just some simple person, but you’re hers and his person, beautiful and unique in their eyes.

Seykxel txe’lan, ‘strong heart’, one of the first words she had said to Jake. The phrase becoming the first in the start of the original Sullys’ fortress; Jake, Neytiri, and you. It becomes a reassurance and affectionate name she only utters while Jake’s becomes, “This right here, is a fortress. One without the other is just bound to fall apart, and I don’t ever want to experience that again without my girls.”

You knew your departure was bound to come, but the more happiness and love you were surrounded with, the more it seemed it wasn’t bound to happen anytime soon because once you hit Pandora’s atmosphere, your sickness seemed to have …faded away. Doctor Grace Augustine, a good friend she became to you, wasted no time in trying to figure out what seemed to be the change, especially when one day out in Pandora’s nature that they’d unexpectedly discovered you could breathe in the same air it contained without having to wear a breathing mask. Her curious examination in trying to discover what had caused the sudden flee of your sickness was cut short after her passing, the answer unknown to you all.

You thought as long as you were out of danger, as long as you had them both, you’d be okay. You experienced love, but now you find yourself yearning for more of it — an experience to carry life that embodies Jake's, and Neytiri’s love for you. It is risky, of course, with you being human in a planet unknown to your kind’s pregnancy. Especially with the flaws of your heart, but you’d already tested the limits the moment you agreed to study this planet. And who are they to deny you? They, along with the scientists that stayed behind with the forest people, and tsahik try to make this possible for you, though your heart inhibited this, and it seems your lovers felt the same.

-`♡´- 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 46.8k+ ( I got ahead of myself—)

-`♡´- 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 / 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 : fluff, evolves MAJOR!angst, handful of emotional parts within this, implied smut though not entirely, mentions of blood, miscarriages, sick!reader, pregnant!reader, health issues, doctor talk, flashbacks, MAJOR!character death Jake having a potty mouth, both love reader so much, like love LOVES her so much, baby!Neteyam and Kiri love their mamas so much!! neglecting infant / child, TWINS, bittersweet moments, angst-y bittersweet ending

-`♡´- 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 :@peachycrime @tsukicores @cazadordetitanes @xstargayzer @sleepgod182 @skeletondeerart @emmaveale123 @spadezrazz @szaontop @rainbowcake1212 @unicornicopia1 @top-crop @innercreationflower @agathaharknessfan96

-`♡´- 𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐲 : @cafekitsune !!!

-`♡´- a’s note : okay so, bare with me. We’re going to take a journey within this being practically a dissertation!! I recommend a snack and tissues. There’s going to be a handful of flashbacks — from Jake and reader’s first meeting, their second meeting, and then their meeting with Neytiri. I debated on making this a mini series considering how there’s quite a few different sceneries added in this story. I’m going to be blunt, I tried and put my all into this so please, please comment your thoughts, and reblog if you’d like please!!! I truly hope you enjoy this !!

A deep inhale consumed Jake’s lungs, carefully laying his long frame beside your small lathered body to bask in the sight of your bareness beneath the Tree of Souls’ neon glow. On your other side was Neytiri, the azure complexions of her skin bathed with damp as well, a gentle twitch upon his mouth at seeing her nuzzle against you, her movements tender and delicate. The night’s breeze was cooler than previous nights, but it gifted him with the essence combined from the three of you. He attuned to the concept of making love to you both, the sky’s deep blue vastness witnessing and the creatures listening.

“Fuck them animals, alright? My only focus is you and you only.” He’d breathe out while his canines delivered a rather sensual gnaw to the flesh of Neytiri’s thigh while his hand stroked his other wife’s skin. It was comical how’d the Na’vi before him hissed at him through her blissful facade, scolding her husband for his impudence towards the creation of Eywa, but he simply snickers along while you try containing your own amusement and feignedly glared at him, cooing at your feisty wife in hopes to simmer her down.

Observing the proud outcomes from his physical doing produced a sense of satisfaction in him, no guilt or shame following so because well, why would it ? These are his mates, his girls, and as long as there’s no harm in what he does he’s damn proud to have done so.

Dilated gleaming eyes filled with fondness at the sight of you, and there’s no hesitance in his love for you both, but even he knows Neytiri agrees that the sight of you stirs something in them when your much smaller frame is encased between their larger ones. It was more perceptible to see the pleasing splotches depicted across your delicate, clear flesh. It was more mesmerizing to witness how breathless you were, both staring at you in astonishment at how good you did.

“ngaru lu fpom srak?” ( are you well? ) you recognized the stroke of concern in their golden irises, the emotion relevant and always known towards you, and it always ignited your perspired skin on fire the more they both stared at the exact same time. A soft nod is all it takes to thaw their worries away, Jake reaching to hold you close while Neytiri takes part in staring. It still flusters you as if it’s the first time; his impassioned touches, her ardent gaze, everything they do is just solely them, they’d practically perfected not only doing the simplest of acts but having you feel them deep within. The softness in Neytiri’s eyes scrutinizes your entrails in the most profound manner, absorbing everything you were in this very moment, and everything you desired to be. You enjoyed when she did this, studying you radically, never deficient in its ferocity.

And Jake … well where to begin with him when he touches you? He’s one to display physical affection, no matter the surroundings, no matter his title. He provided you with the heat you craved, the protection you needed; the fulfillment of touching you was something he always took advantage of doing, loving how the wide expanses of his palms splayed across the petite length of any part of your body, letting his long fingers curl around the warm skin with as much delicacy as he could muster. The ability to touch you stirred the poor man though; in the way his tail swayed in anticipation, his heart thumping fervently, his ears flickering with every breathy sound you gifted him with, pupils blown out at the view. It swelled tenfold when his intimate touches enveloped you whole, burning every ounce of flesh upon you in the most exhilarating way.

He knew, they both knew this, and they carry no hesitancy while basking in their affects to decompose you so.

“Why do you two do this to me?” A soft giggle rose from you, failing to keep still between them while being practically tortured from their overwhelming acts, and Jake grinned deliberately at this while Neytiri’s warm laughter met your ears. A heartily sound she accommodated for her mates alone, only ever letting herself go when in your presence. A faculty of a dream it was to you — to be marveled at by two angelic like creatures, and yet it hits you that this is your reality.

Neytiri’s smile formed a soft pucker, pressing against your glistening temple. “There is a problem with staring at you, lovely girl?” Your head shook in response, a hum rumbling up your throat in hence of Jake’s fingers ascending up your bare side, winding around your hip to pull you out of Neytiri’s grasp.

Spectrums of gold and green glitter those honed eyes of his, emphasizing the mirth and happiness he was feeling in that moment. “Then we do this because we enjoy it, angel.” The nickname angel was something he’d grown fond of calling you, defending his claim on the word by saying, “well, what can I say? I thought you were like an Angel to me the second we first met. That’s so wrong for me to think you're that pretty?” it earned him a full on laugh and a playful smack across his stomach. He didn’t mind, and you didn’t pry him to stop calling you that. It sounded nice, the way it descended from his lips.

While he practically had you splayed over his body, Neytiri had slid even closer to you both, her kisses continued meeting your temple, used to the way she’d always do it when it was the only patch of skin unveiled from the exomask you’d been required to wear before. When the revelation of you no longer needing that mask, Dr. Grace Augustine had you wear it still to see if it would affect you in some sort of way and just in case you reacted badly to being without it, and you wore it for a few months before she realized you didn’t need it anymore. You find it amusing how they forget they now have full access to your bare face now, the feeling growing when they waste no time in touching you there, puncturing each of your features with firm kisses like how Neytiri was doing now as she discreetly turned you away from Jake.

“Hey, quit stealing her from me.” Your laughter met Neytiri’s mouth, your line of vision being greeted with the smile he gave her. He shifted onto his side, arm falling around her waist and tugged you both flush against him.

Her head turned away from you and towards him. “You stole her first.” Her glaring expression made him chuckle, and you watched as he leaned his forehead into hers, the surface of their noses meeting gently. “Truce.”

You smile softly and rest your chin down on Jake’s chest, your eyes following the movements of his ears twitching from the breath delivered from her parted lips. It’s truly a moment to witness when he folds upon both your presence. The way he gives in at times, practically liquifying in your palms with the sensations he feels from them.

His arm suddenly tightened around you both, very careful in pressing your body into Neytiri’s front in awareness of her toned belly, in awareness that perhaps another would fill her womb. You faced her, “You’re okay?��� She huffed out a chuckle and laid a palm over your cheek. “I do not think anything bad will happen, ma Y/N. And we have participated in other activities and this is what you worry about?”

Jake’s and your shoulder lifted in unison, “yes?” A kiss was delivered to his cheek, and he passed it on to yours. “ it wouldn't be wrong to think that you should have one?”

Jake’s words, and their consonants alike, seemed to have knocked the wind out from your lungs as you gaped between him and Neytiri in shocking disbelief. “One as i-in a child?”

“Yeah, why not?”

Your eyes widened. You had even felt every muscle in Neytiri’s body tense against you, the new knowledge surprising you both. It has been 3 months since she gave birth to the firstborn, Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan. A healthy hearted, full and beautiful baby boy every one of you fell in love with the moment he came to view.

“You'd like to hold our baby boy, angel?” Jake had spoken, a shocked smile upon his lips at the sight of his firstborn squirming in his hold. You’d wasted no hesitation in reaching out, his stubby body perhaps being the size of a human toddler when he was handed to you. He was hefty to carry, yes, but it had been worth it for the second he gazed at you with those round eyes and his little fingers twined around the length of yours, something ignited within you.

During the months of her pregnancy, it had generated a newfound interest in your heart when you learned from the Tsahik what occurs during a Na’vi’s gestation process. And then, to everyone’s shock, your dear friend’s avatar, Grace Augustine had been impregnated, a beautiful baby girl adopted by the three of you, named Kiri te Suli Kìreysì'ite. Precious and pure she was, and somehow she formed a great attachment with you. There it was again, that pure desire to bore.

Even before, subtly bringing up the topic of babies from time to time. The desk in your former tiny room of the old RDA having infant books sprawled across its surface, an old memory book you happened to bring along opened to the parts of your own infancy.

“Imagine holding one just the size of your palm, Tiri? Right, they're smaller than Na’vi babies, Jake?” You had squealed, a bright smile stretched across your face when Jake’s head had popped into your room. He’d only chuckle softly and nod before telling you both to accompany him back to the village while Neytiri sighed and you pouted cutely.

While both had been very cautious about you residing in Pandora after the war, Jake had been more apprehensive than hers, being a far more palpable thing. It’d been present in every decision made, in arguments that sometimes didn’t include you yet were about you between him and Neytiri whenever the topic of amplifying your family beyond Neteyam, you, Neytiri and himself.

“Ma Jake, if this is what she desires, do you not think we should grant her this?” She’d insist, her heart deeply aware of your longing for motherhood. “We don’t know if her health will falter its improvement—”

“Exactly, we don’t know. No human has ever been pregnant here, let alone one that’s not healthy. Grace couldn’t finish checking her, and I don’t wanna risk it. I — we can’t risk her, Neytiri. ”

His perturbation wasn’t unconscionable to her, though. She had heard from him, from Norm, and partially from Grace of your well established dreams to carry and birth life, and it was fully supported by her; she understood your yearning, and yet she also understood the residence of her husband’s focus where the complications that could assist pregnancy.

They both were debating whether or not to possibly ask the scientists that had stayed behind with them if they’d be willing to help, but she’d been more hesitant in that apartment because she didn’t have full trust with human technology. Denying you was something they never enjoyed doing, and she wasn’t fond of it either, but she had to agree with Jake that they couldn’t imperil your health.

“Just promise me you won’t … try motivating this. Neteyam and Kiri are enough for us, for her.”

“And who are we to decide for her ! and what if she takes it in a different way–”

“Neytiri. I’m not saying to talk badly of it, but don’t push it, please.”

She doesn’t understand fully, how he manages to cautiously creep around the subject and she sees how it vexes you how leading her to feel the same, especially when you both were mindfully aware more additions to your family was something he wished for as well. Apprehensive of your wellbeing incited his impedance, and despite her wanting whatever it is you wished for, Jake knew she had resistance in her motives as well due to the loss of her sempul and her home. Grief was something he hadn’t been able to process thoroughly for there’d been war, there’d been choices that postponed him from feeling it, but now the probability of experiencing it and the reason being of your loss was one they both weren’t fond of.

You understood them and their reasons, which is why his words jolted through you. It wasn’t common for either of them to lead the topic of a child– because it was always you who brought it to the surface.

“What’re you two up to? This better not be some joke.” You glowered at him, then her, then him again. The edges of Jake’s eyes had channeled from his smile, watching as Neytiri’s perplexed face turned a bit … gentle. Irritation fueled in you at the silent conversation floating between their gazes, words whispered in each other’s minds and you wished right there and then to smack Jake just because.

“Forget what I said–” is what sat at the tip of his tongue but his wife’s look of injunction spoke otherwise, and he inwardly collected his words as she took lead, having a slight understanding of what he meant. “We are up to nothing, my love. We know this is something you’ve dreamed of for a long time and we want all your dreams to come true.” They both wore a smile, Jake’s more broadened than her petite one. You stared longer at him though, because he’d been the one more shut off with this, and then at her. This wasn’t one of their ploys, not when they looked at you this way.

Neytiri’s effortless way in using her words to reassure you is something you’ve yet to grow used to. “H-how long have you been up to this?”

His laughter met your ears but was quick to suppress it when Neytiri’s glare –unknown to you– was shot his way. “Yes, Jake? About how long have we been thinking about this?” It was then you realized she hadn’t been informed of his plans, and you followed along with your own look of suspicion though not without giving her swift one as well.

He cleared his throat, propping his arm up so his cheek now rested over his palm and looked at you both. “Want my honesty?”

“No shit Sherlock.”

“…What she has said.”

“I didn’t really think about it. Not in a committed type of thing, well not before like how you two want to until … well a few minutes ago when we did the deed deed.”

Your brows rose and Neytiri’s mouth twisted. “ You mean to say when you happened to be inside of our Y/N?” A giggle was shared between you two women, and he had to hold back the eyeroll that was building up. “Okay, when you guys say it like that it just sounds like I’m some pervert–”

Your giggles erupted into full on laughter and it led Jake to groan loudly, flipping onto his stomach and buried his flushed face into his arms. “Look I just want another kid with you–Y’know what, I take it back–”

You looked up at Neytiri, releasing one more giggle before she pushed him onto his back. You smiled and crawled onto his abdomen, raising his jaw to look at you. “You’re adorable, y’know that, skxawng?” Humming, his hands carefully finding their niche over your hips. “Yeah, I kinda do.”

You laughed, gently kissing his lips before hunching over to repeat the same on Neytiri’s as she rested her cheek on his shoulder blade. Your weight slid down his torso until your head found solace in the beating within his chest, the hitched thumps his heart created, and your lips curled when Neytiri’s palm twined around yours and pressed it to her chest, being met with her own unnatural heartbeat reflecting his; irregular and thrilled they were as it always was after sex. And of course, so was yours, though slightly more steady. It was abnormal though, the difference your heart outdid anyone else’s, for that matter. Between them, you felt a hint of balance within you, for how can your heart not be fine when it pulses in sync with your mates?

“Tiri, love, what about you? You want us to have another baby?” You queried, deeply observing her and she nodded softly. The dark braids cascading down her shoulders fell to her back when she sat up, palms fully enveloping your face. The gleaming specks upon her cheekbones flickered much brighter under Pandora’s glow, accompanied by the tender curve her lush lips stroked. It’s unfair sometimes how breathtaking she is, enough to draw you close to tears, which apparently do so.

The pads of her thumbs lightly dabbed away crystalline–like tears that settled beneath your eyes. Her feline-like nose nuzzled against the bridge of yours, “Srane, tiyawn.” (yes, love.)

“A baby I’ll have.”

She nodded once more along with Jake. “A baby you’ll have.”

You glanced down at your lap, chewing on your lip. “Are you sure, you two? You both know how much I’ve been wanting this, how strong i feel about this—”

Jake’s mouth skimmed across yours, each of their hands cradling your cheeks. The contact startled you yet as instincts, you melted right into them. “ This is something you want, right?” You nodded, and he smiled, “Then who are we to deny you, baby? We want what you want.”

He nodded his head at Neytiri, and her palm fell from your cheek, expanding fully over your chest. “Your heart is twined with our own, seykxel txe’lan. We, with the will of Eywa, beat as one. Your desires are our desires.”

Jake’s lips curled over his teeth, baring them into a wide grin and led your hands to each of their chests. “So have a baby with us, angel. Yeah?”

Your smile was one brighter than anything Pandora had to offer, face carrying the whole definition of infinite happiness. “Yeah.”

His laughter reverberated throughout the night sky, hoisting himself up to encase you and Neytiri in the tightest and warmest of hugs. Her breathy laughter joined his, and your giggles followed along when Jake kissed you, hard. Before your eyes fluttered closed, you could see the toothy smile Neytiri portrayed, head tilting to the Tree of Souls and softly whispered, “Thank you, Great Mother.” before she joined the gentle assaults in kissing every part of your face while his lips stroked down your body; the curve of your jaw, the side of your neck, the length of your arms. The next thing you know, your back is firmly pressed into Neytiri’s chest while Jake’s mouth strode down the flesh of your tummy, an usher of praises filling your ears as his tongue found its destination between your doused essence once again. You didn’t retaliate from them, giving yourself to them as your fingers card through Jake’s long locs and nestled your face within the angle of Neytiri’s neck and your euphoric cries from the saccharine sensations of your mates consumed their senses as they demolished you, and each other, entirely.

Being confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life wasn’t precisely what Jake intended for. He still wanted to live, wanted to be free in his abilities to do whatever he desired, though apparently being diagnosed with paraplegia can greatly affect one’s plans in life. There were debts he couldn’t afford to pay, such as the surgery that could perhaps mend his damaged spine. Damage caused by major conflicts and deployment to Venezuela while he was there as a Marine. Ex Marine. Tommy Sully, also known as Jake’s twin scientific brother, had tried convincing Jake in letting him guarantee enough money for the surgery so he could get back up on his feet.

“I’m not some kind of charity fund, Tom. Back off, I don’t want any of your geek money. Don’t expect me to start walking and give you a hug in excitement.”

“Will you let go of that damn soldier pride and just let me help you, moron?”

Jake refused, especially given the harsh nickname to which Tommy could only sigh to, thumb rubbing over his tight temple. “At least stay in this hospital during the time they tell you to.”

Wasting his life in a hospital — which happened to be connected to his twin brother for some reason— for 11 days wasn’t on the agenda either, and yet here he was, strolling through the stark hallways of this specialized hospital in hopes to find some kind of distraction from all that’s been happening. Joining the United States Marine Corps came with severe consequences, apparently.

An abundance of this building was not only a hospital but some kind of lab, Jake noticed, and it immediately clicked in his brain that Tommy had been one of the scientists upon these teams to construct this. He didn’t want to return to his room just yet and see Tommy standing there, asking him where the hell has he been, so he continued exploring various wings of the facility, a curiosity seeping through him at what his brother had been up to.

There were rooms in which patients were physically injured; prosthetics taking place of a retired soldier’s flesh arm and leg, another with a similar case of being paralyzed though this one was quadriplegia, and illnesses he didn’t have a familiarity with, and that once peeking curiosity was washed away by the waves of melancholy and distinguish. He’d admit he didn’t enjoy feeling this way at all, but it was expected considering the field Tommy had described working with. He could only smile so briefly at the patients that caught his gaze in hopes of some sense of comfort.

Jake’s hands were growing used to pushing the large wheels on each of his sides, trying to ignore the sting of soreness that came along with it while he rolled himself down different paths. He then found himself going through a children’s section, and it twisted something in him, frowning at the thought of them suffering through things that weren’t supposed to occur to them. While the world had evolved into something advanced, it was menacing as well due to the ones now in charge, shaping the world into something dimmer. These kids shouldn’t have to pay the price for that, he thought.

Then there was a ward of infants, and that warped a different sense that the other wards he had previously traveled through. A tiny sense of hope, tinged with sadness, resided in his chest. The chance of them surviving in this new world seemed no good, if anyone asked him. He really shouldn’t be there, thinking what would become of them. But he couldn’t help staying in front of and leaning into the glass window, chin jutting out and peering at the newborn babies behind it, and he couldn’t resist the smile crawling onto his face.

“You guys were born in the wrong time,” he whispered, words fogging the brim of the glass. “You need good caring.” A finger rose to it, its pad gently swiping over before lingering there for a moment, right beside where a baby’s gentle face came to view. Never was he one to desire children, and even if he did it seemed to come with difficulties now that he became paralyzed from the waist down. Still, it didn’t take away the astonishment he felt when looking at them.

Amongst his awe, a proximity of a presence grazed beside Jake, and accompanying this presence came a fragrance enriched with citrus-like and something floral. The combination was potent enough to tug his attention.

Jake’s gaze transferred from the babies up to the body of a young woman standing questionably close to him. They both were the only ones present in front of the window, and there was plenty of space for the both of them to stand a good amount apart. He knew he shouldn’t be one to talk, but he grew entertained at how she had to hitch up on the points of her toes to peer farther into the window, completely enchanted by each of the three rows of babbling infants and their soft squirming. She looked cute, if he was being honest.

Cyan eyes observed her: a gown colored stark white draped her form, similar to the one he wore, stopping just right below the ankles, and the ex marine smirked slightly at the long socks hugging her feet; mix-matched colors yet fuzzy enough to distract from the distinct coloring. The color of her hair was bold, brilliant and adorably disheveled. The complexion of her skin was a little pallid, but he could make out the warmness of her skin’s color, stealing the man’s air he once inhaled.

Jake had never seen eyes so wide, so alive. Those very eyes scanned the babies’ tiny writhing bodies that were carefully enveloped in blankets, an adoration and something he recognized as a want within them. The girl right before him, portrayed a beauty that was too fucking rare for this world. Too delicate, too angelic and pretty, as though she was created to astound. She astounded Jake, the satirical comment he had made earlier of walking out of excitement returning to his mind, thinking that it may actually come to life if he kept feeling this way and looking at her.

Every muscle in him halted movement, and despite the efforts to wrap his fingers around the wheels and push, his hands remained still over them, wheels steady over the gray flooring. Jake’s lips compressed into a thin line and his eyes continued watching the woman smile — that damn smile — and felt his heart practically leap out of his chest.

“I agree with what you said.” Her voice, soft and sweet, steady and spoken to him, chirped as she held onto the steel metal of an IV pole. Soft and sweet, a sound he’d never been used to hearing but now, he found himself absorbing it, clinging onto it.

His silence was terribly loud and thickening, and he blinked. Swallowed. Then repeated the action a few more times. Say something, dipshit. “Yeah?”

A light chuckle burned through his ears, rattling his heart. “Yeah. But you wanna know what makes it easier for them to get the care they deserve?”

What the hell were words anyway? Jake thought as he searched his brain for a response to her question. Her smile was full of mirth as she saw his reflection on the window, how his mouth moved then closed, then opted for a small nod.

“It’s easy to just fall in love with them at first glance. I mean, who’d deny these pure babies?” She questioned in disbelief, and if Jake was sure he wasn’t delusional about it, he saw how she scooted a bit closer, her forearm brushing his shoulder. “And I’m sure they love you immediately, and when you realize that they do, that this tiny human is capable of loving you and needs you, it isn’t hard to provide them with care and love.”

Jake bobbed his head once more, not sure how to respond to such words, simply staring at her stunned. Stunning was another thing that fit her, he was sure of it.

“That’s how life goes, yeah? Well, if life was with a bit more….simplicity that maybe it’s possible. Love could, and can be more simple. Am I right?” She didn’t once look towards Jake’s direction, her pretty face focused on these newborns she loved so much the entire time, and it surprised him how much love could build in such a short span of time. Then of course, he didn’t know her. Maybe she’d been here longer than he has, for all he could make out.

He muttered a small ‘yeah, you are’ with a jumbled up mind, trying to process each word, memorize every syllable uttered in them. He felt confused, unrecognizable to why he’s behaving in such a way. Well, he knew why; he was captivated by a pretty, very pretty angel’s presence. But this angel didn’t brush his presence off though because of his condition, she acknowledged him very ordinarily. Foreign was the sensation, and the precipitance of its arrival startled his nerves.

The woman finally turned, slightly dipping her head down and glanced at him briefly before looking back at the babies, and Jake noticed how the back of her hand pressed into his bicep. Weird but comforting it felt for him. He wanted that weirdness to last a bit more.

“Well, see ya.” Two words and she, along with her touch, was off. The only thing left of her in his atmosphere was the aroma she carried.

Jake found himself enjoying this, inhaling deeply while faintly smiling to himself, “See ya.”

She was long gone by now, but her affinity lingered there and in his mind. He returned to his room later that day and of course, Tommy had been there, Jake’s smile still noticeable, and his brother couldn’t help but raise a brow, “So now you like the hospital?”

He only smirked, leading himself to his lanky bed to avoid his flushed face from being seen as he recalled the angel who was the cause of it, “Loving it, actually.”

The morning after that night, Jake had awoken without mentioning it; gently shaking you and Neytiri awake, informing you both that you had to head back to the village and Neteyam and Kiri who had stayed with his grandmother. Neytiri, to your surprise, didn’t speak of it either. She did have a hinge of frustration in her eyes, but kept a soft smile nonetheless.

You did, however, catch them having one of their silent conversations over your head on the way back. Once you had arrived, Jake had gathered his firstborn in his arms while pecking his head, Neytiri cooing at him as he sported a gummy smile before extending his arms out towards her. And Kiri, she was entirely focused on you while Mo’at held her, stretching her little arms your way. The moment you carried her with a wide smile, you caught the glimpse of their expressions, Neytiri’s pointed stare while Jake’s stayed neutral though the tension radiated off him. Mo’at had still been present, her forehead creased at her daughter and son-in-law’s shifted behavior. The Tsahik glanced at you in question, and you gave a small eye roll to say, ‘ nothing major’ which she caught onto. She did have a particular idea of what was the reason towards this, but she wanted it to hear from you considering you are the main part of it.

The topic was neglected during your morning meal, with Jake tugging you out of your spot between them and onto his lap as always, and Kiri on your lap while Neytiri held Neteyam on her own, her free hand slipping through yours, as always, while you all dived into your food.

You watched them, longed for their words only to be proved useless when Jake settled you down and placed a quick kiss on each of your heads before attending to his duties as Olo’eyktan. And Neytiri … she didn’t even attempt to bring it up either. Simply either going on with other topics, asking you to assist her in duties, or doing a few of her tasks on her own, later on heading out after placing a soft kiss on your temple and leaving you with the babies in your arms.

His little fingers wrap around your pointer one, round amber eyes looking at it in wonder while his pure babbles floated as if speaking to you. “ you’re quite the talker for a newborn, aren’t you, baby boy?” You cooed, and this he stayed silent at before his baby talk grew louder and as he adjusted himself in an almost straight sitting position. It was normal, you'd have been told, for babies of Pandora to become more adapted after a few days of being birthed, it still astonished you every time you saw the two wide awake, heads turning fully and inspecting their surroundings. You glanced at Kiri, chuckling to see her chin dipping down when her hands found a firm grip around the handcrafted necklace Neytiri happened to woven, just for you. You stared at the two with a small smile, being so wrapped up in your wandering mind that you didn't even realize Mo’at had entered, approaching you and her grandchildren slowly.

“ Ma‘Ite, ‘upe lu tìsraw ngeyä?” ( daughter, what is the matter?) Mo’at crooned softly and your eyes snapped up. She’d taken part in calling you ‘daughter’ following the mournful events of her husband, of her home, and of the battle against the ‘Sky People’. She didn’t care if you were one of them, she valued the way you cared for her people, for her daughter, and you never expected becoming so close with their spiritual leader and be so favored by the people, yet that became your life.

“Nothing, Ma Tsahik.” You glanced down at the two, your legs criss-crossed as they both were supported by not just your arms but legs as well. You lightly moved your legs beneath the babies’ weight earning a tiny squeal from Kiri while Neteyam beamed. You smiled and lifted your head only to be greeted with her narrowing her eyes. “Do not contempt me with formality, child.”

Your head slightly dipped, “I’m sorry, ma sa’nok. ( mother ) I didn’t mean that I’m just…” you paused, chewing on your lower lip for a moment. “I’m just frustrated. And confused.” Mo’at now settled down beside you, hand falling to stroke the patch of dark hair upon Kiri’s head and she’s quick to look at her grandmother, smiling brightly before returning her attention to the accessories around your neck.

“About?” She pressed, a warm smile turning into one of concern and awareness from your silence. “Is it my daughter and Jake?”

You bobbed your head, blowing out a deep breath. “I’m married to two stubborn people.” A low hum left Mo’at, motioning for you to hand her Neteyam.

“I’m sorry,” you added, grunting when you lifted him up. “You are getting heavy, ‘Teyam.” You playfully glowered at him when he was in his grandmother’s arms, and he heaved out a soft giggle from the sensations your fingers created to his sides. “I don’t mean any offense towards Neytiri.”

Mo’at chuckled softly, propping him on her lap, “Do not apologize, while my daughter is smart, she can be very thick headed when she wants. And as for Jakesully… it is common for him to be that way. But I am a mother, Y/N,” She explained, face softening as she looked over Neteyam’s familiar features, then at Kiri’s. “I notice the small things, even with you. We may not be the same species or from the same world, but Eywa placed you in our people, my family, my care.”

“I have known you for a fair amount of time,” she continued. “What age were you when you first arrived?”

“19. Well, 5 years had passed, so 24.” She nodded in acknowledgment, “And now you are 4 and twenty, though physically you are around 9 and ten, correct?” You nodded, “Srane, ma sa’nok.” ( yes, mother ) She smiled triumphantly at her knowing, “ I have heard of this sickness of yours from Grace, how it has been with you throughout your entire life until you came here. Perhaps this is not what you want to hear, but if you think your mates are stubborn, then you have not been paying close attention.” She softly chastised.

“But, sa’nok, I do pay attention, believe me I do! I understand that they’re worried and—” you’re quick to be cut off by her firm tone of voice. “But at the same time, they do not have authority over what you wish to do, Y/N. If you want to bore children, and if they have already given you three the opportunity to try, then you have the right to confront them about it. Do you understand, ‘ite?”

A long finger tilted your chin up, and your mouth quirked at her words, nodding. “Irayo, ma sa’nok.” ( thank you, mother ) She returned your smile, head bowing. Your brows suddenly furrow, peering up at her in question. “How did you know—”

“Tsahik, child. Do not underestimate my role.” She quipped, a flicker of humor dancing in the very eyes your mate inherited. “Besides it is written quite clearly across their faces whenever they see you with the children.”

You laughed, “Fair enough.”

Her hands engulfed Neteyam’s sides, tugging him away from her garments that he found entertainment in fiddling with thanks to Kiri, and lifted the boy up. “Ah, look at you…” she murmured softly. “The eldest, and then there is you, ma Kiri,” The little girl stared up at her grandmother, ears twitching at the sound of her name. “…it would only be fair if you had some sort of company equal to your size, no?” Your cheeks flushed, smiling widely when they both turned towards you, almost impossibly knowing, and ‘Teyam extended his tiny arms your way.

“So you do wish to have children.” She didn’t need an answer for this, of course, for she was also one to know about your greatest wishes, and supported them greatly. Your eager nod was all it took for her smile to widen, bringing Neteyam back down and placed him on your lap while hoisting Kiri up. “Then it is decided.” Her hand cradled the side of your face in a maternal manner, “May Eywa bless you with your heart’s desires, and that she supports them, and you in every way that is possible.”

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

“Are you serious about this, ma Jake?” Is the first thing uttered by Neytiri the second they are out of your presence. Her voice tried containing firmness, though it lacked from the emotion and perplexity of her husband’s words, from his laid back demeanor when he first said them to the both of you the night before. It wasn’t common for her to not be able to observe his thoughts due to his facial expressions practically tattling them, but now he was awfully silent and too pensive for her likings.

“Jake!”

The tight grasp she gave his arm and the harsh yell of his name blinked him back to reality, turning towards her and is greeted with the mixture of emotions across her precious face; an unsteady balance of sadness and happiness that didn’t know which one to choose, whether for the outcomes or the fact that he’s actually finally approving of you birthing a child.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Her glabrous brows inclined and her eyes broadened in a manner that Jake knew very well meant an injunction to his plastered cluelessness. He unleashed a heavy breath and raised his hand to shove it through his thick locs, “Alright. You got me… I don't know why I said that.”

A smack, hard and full of pain, contacted the skin of his chest and it took everything in him to not subconsciously let out a cuss word in his rather feisty wife’s face. “W-why would you— Neytiri! S-stop smacking me and hear me out—”

“Kehe! ( no! ) You deserve this, how are you going to say you didn’t know why you say what you say, you skxawng!” Her hits met his forearms as they were held out in front of him, stumbling and trying to back away from her. “Okay, baby hold on, just hold on— Neytiri, okay y’know back on Earth there’s a phrase, ‘violence is not the damn answer’ ! Ever heard of it?”

A hiss seethed past her teeth, nose scrunching in distaste. “ Violence seems to be the only way you listen! Or maybe it just makes you more stupid!”

He was now trapped between the forest’s wide trees, he stayed still and her hitting halted for a brief moment, but Jake wasted no time in grabbing ahold of her forearms and switching their positions; a thrashing Neytiri was now pressed against the rich wood of the tree, while he muttered hushed, comforting words in her ear in pleading hopes to try and get her to calm down.

She eventually did, though the familiar stroke of her irritation when they’d first met was there, assisted by other feelings, but that somehow bolded her every pretty feature; confusion to why he’s feigning, anger for rushing into saying things without her consent and hurt for leaving you hanging knowing already how you awaited for them both to bring it up and it tormented her within how she went along with whatever the moron of her husband did.

Cautiously, so very fucking cautiously, he let go of her, one hand falling over her waist while the other gently gripped her chin. “Are we okay now?”

She blinked a few times and watched the confusion and concern riddling Jake’s features. Her lower lip slightly protruded and trembled, and her forehead creased the way it always did when in distress. The trinkets embedded in her braids swayed harshly at the head shake she gave him, and he felt his chest churn at the motion.

“Jake, did you not see how she looked at us?” Neytiri’s heart ached at the flash of your face, throat tightening, and in came the now stinging sensation of tears in her eyes. “She looked hurt, she is hurt because of us,” Her finger rose and punctured firmly into Jake’s chest with every word and tried to ignore the way his face scrunched for a second, “because of how you got her hopes up, because of how I went along with your foolish lies, because of how we both know how much she wanted this! Stupid!”

Wave after wave crashed among Jake’s mind and heart, eyes falling shut as he welcomed the tiny jabs his wife took at him. He understood what she meant, and he understood that she – and you — had every right to be upset with him. He didn’t want to hurt either of you, but he did it for a cause. He didn’t think it’d affect you this much overnight, then again, as his wife said: They both know how much you want this. He knew why she stated what she did, and even he was aware as much as she was of why he stated what he did; he aspires to it as much as you and her do.

The disappointment he felt with himself didn’t help with the abundance of emotions he carried already. He strongly cursed himself aloud for making you feel this way, but there was something more added as to why he did what he did, besides the fact that he was doubtful with your once endangered health.

He swallowed, hard, face easing, “I am sure about this.”

Neytiri’s current finger stabbing his chest came to a stop. “About?”

“She wants a baby,” Jake’s shoulder lifting made Neytiri’s eyes widened. “It’s like we said last night, a baby we’ll have.”

Her lips parted, slowly forming a full ‘o’ that made him want to laugh, and her fingertips raised to cover her mouth with the weight of his words. “Did I hit you too hard?”

This time he didn’t resist the laughter bubbling up his chest, leaning in until their foreheads kissed. “Nah, baby. You hit me enough times to get my act together.” He breathed out, smiling tenderly when her hands hesitated in reaching out for him, curling around his sides, orbs glowing with forgotten tears. “You are serious? No jokes? No delays?”

A wide grin curved the edges of Jake’s lips, his hand shifting to cradle her jaw and the other pulled her close. Neytiri’s breathing hitched at the sound of his chuckle floating through her flickering ears.

His gaze darted between her eyes and lips, not sure which was more worthy of his attention. “No delays, honey. I want this, with the both of you … I didn’t say anything just yet in the morning because I wanted us to give her a little surprise.”

Her head tilted, curious to what he meant. “And that is?” He grinned once more, kissing her softly before gently tugging her off the tree’s surface. “C’mon. Let’s head to the old RDA.”

The glimpse of Jake’s smile reflected from the window in front of him, keeping his eyes on the newborns he’d gotten fond of watching for the past 6 days. Though if someone were to ask him ( that someone being Tommy ) he wouldn’t have admitted the entire reason emitted as to why he kept returning to that particular side of the RDA’s hospital. But to be quite frank, watching them did establish a sense of tranquility within him, an adorable diversion from his main reason to visit.

He’d never been one for patience, but the stubbornness he was born with benefited him well in this case as he strained himself to stay, not lifting a single finger to touch the wheels at his sides. But he was beginning to lose the hope assisting that patience; hope for that young girl’s presence to show up and just let him feel all kinds of things, really good things that he hasn’t felt in a long ass time. While these cute babies slightly entertained him, they couldn’t fill the rest of his mind that had been wholly consumed by her from the moment they first met. During these times of days, they’d be side by side, with her arm occasionally straying near his shoulder while he anticipated it, or he admired the way she transported a tiny, foldable stool that allowed her to sit by him. The usual dread he carried with him vanished with the thought of her, from the rise of dawn to coming nightfall. Even behind his eyelids, once dreamless sleeps were replaced with the bright colors of her appearance.

He exhaled deeply, rolling his wheels back and was about to take a turn to leave until the hallway echoed with steady footsteps followed by a screeching sound of something grinding onto the ground. He grimaced, carefully turning his wheelchair in the resumance of its position in front of the window and there it was, the purpose of his visit; her.

“Leaving so soon, marine?”

She hadn’t glanced or moved towards Jake’s direction as she settled on her white stool but even so, he found himself with his tongue tied and his breath twisted in his gut from hearing her utter only those simple 4 words.

“Well I, uh, was, but I guess I can stick around. Don’t wanna leave you alone.” His chest puffed out and smirked proudly at his ability to form not one but two whole sentences, but he still couldn’t help feeling all warm and gooey inside when the young woman laughed softly at his choice of words. “What? You’re staying by my side now?”

She caught the reflection of his grin, “Sure you can say that.” She hummed and nodded at his words in acknowledgement while he went oblivious to the glee that coursed through her. “So you were waiting on me.” It was more of a statement rather than a question, but he agreed.

“Yeah.” His head slanted slightly up, watching how she looked at those babies with the same expression as always. They stayed quiet for a comforting moment, his deep breath of release being the only thing floating in the air right now.

But while he may have looked as he carried a calm demeanor, inside he was startled when he turned to look at her. He came to terms that he indeed did like her, a lot as a matter of fact, but somehow it seemed like it was more than just likeness.

“So why’re you here?” Curious orbs glanced down at Jake with a spasm of a tiny smile on her mouth.

His brow hitched and gave himself a look over as if the wheelchair he was in apparently didn’t indicate as to why he was in the hospital. She laughed, a sheepish sound he found himself smiling at, “ what I mean is the reason why you’re in that wheelchair.”

He chuckled for a short moment before nodding. “I was a part of the USMC. The United States Marine Corps.” He added, and she threw him a quick glance that said ‘ well no shit Sherlock’ and he smiled briefly. “There were some issues down in Venezuela, and I was one of the many involved that got injured. My spinal cord is messed up … and obviously, ” he patted his thin legs, “these too.”

He saw how her brows knitted together and her former smile turned into a frown. “I’m sorry.” He didn’t like being the cause of that, and he sighed when she said, “did they offer you surgery to fix your paralysis? Isn’t your brother a part of this facility?”

“They did, and he is, but I declined both him and the offer.” His blue eyes caught hers when she glanced at him, letting her gaze linger for a few seconds that felt like eternity for him. He detected a strange strike of something in her pretty irises, something that concerned him until she tore away from him. “ It's been six days since we’ve met. Six days you’ve been coming over here, and not once did you ask me why am I here.”

Jake’s brows rose to his hairline, surprised by the sudden shift of topic but didn’t mind it whatsoever. “Why are you here?” He didn’t mean for it to come off as blunt or disrespectful, but blunt was his voice of nature. He quickly looked at her, not sure if she had caught onto it or not. The thought of why she was here never really crossed his head, he only mimicked the question out of both confusion and hopes to change the topic.

“ I have a weak heart.”

Jake didn’t understand the meaning behind her words. Sure, he wasn’t exactly an expert of human anatomy, hell he could barely comprehend the damage done to his own body. How can she have a weak heart if here she was, standing tall and beaming as if a miracle had occurred right before her very eyes, speaking to him as if normalcy had happened through their lives? “Huh?”

“I don’t have a strong heart, Jake. The world’s air isn’t clean enough for my system, so this hospital is the next best thing for my health. So because of this ‘poor’ heart, I can’t do the things I really, really want. I thought you maybe wanted to know, but never asked just to not come off as nosy.”

“Wait, what? I don’t mean to come off that way–”

She chuckled softly at his dubious expression only for it to grow. Yeah, he noticed the IV pole she tended to have attached with her in every corner she turned, but it never occurred to him to ask her or his brother, which now that he thought of it, he did have the chance to, but that never was his main focus. He’d been so captivated by the way she carried herself and how she had managed to slither her way within his veins.

“If I had the chance to somehow fix the way my heart works, I’d take it.” She admitted, a soft utterance he would’ve found relief in if it hadn’t been for the true translation of her words; “If I was in your place, I’d take that chance.” which unveiled the main translation, “Take the chance you’ve been given, because there’s others who don’t ever receive it.”

“If that heart of yours is so weak, how come you’re able to talk with a lot of meaning?”

Her sudden direct turn made him smirk softly, capturing his gaze for a much longer time than these past 6 days. He let himself admire her full face, noticing how she, too, lost herself in the blue swirls of his eyes, as if searching for something within them. He didn’t plan to ask such a question, but the way she looked at him surged a positive thrill through him. Her eyes diverted from his for a second, face flushing. “ My heart likes to be heard, I guess. It’s the seat of our emotions, isn’t it? Emotions should be heard.”

His smirk morphed into a full on grin now. “See, there it is again. You wanna know what I hear when you speak that heart of yours?”

Her head sloped to the side in intrigue, and it took all his upper strength to not lose his words. “An angel. A very pretty one with a clear voice.” he pointed out, and leaned his upper body closer to hers. “So imma tell you this. I’ll accept this surgery because of this angel, but on one condition.”

His pointer finger stuck out in front of his face and was visibly pleased at the way her twinkling eyes darted between his and the finger between them. “And what’s that?” she breathed out.

The digit that was currently extended in the air was accompanied by the others, and with the permission her eyes gave him, he allowed them to brush across the skin of her cheek. Jake’s grin waived into much gentle one when she leaned into his touch, and his voice was barely above whisper. “That you stop talking so down on that angel’s heart. How can you say it’s weak when her words come from there, sounding so smart and pretty?”

She chewed on her lower lip, corners of her mouth curving upward at the honesty coloring his face. “I think I wanna marry you, Marine.”

“You’d spend your life attached to a wheelchair instead of me, angel.” He chortled while cupping her cheek and enjoyed the way those eyes looked at him, mirroring his own enamorment.

1 week. 1 week, 5 days, and 9 hours had passed ensuing the conversation between Jake, Neytiri, and you about continuing a family, and you getting the Tsahik’s eternal blessing.

Days exuded into scorching afternoons into brilliant nights, and your body sizzled with the passing of time in irritation the longer they proceeded being oblivious to your clear frustrations. Tonight though, you’d decided you’d had enough of the waiting, and enough of this promise that forever remained empty. The foreseeable subject with your mates would be one that manufactured outcomes.

You, with the admirable help of your mother-in-law, prepared their favorite meals; Jake had taken a liking to teylu assisted with vegetables, though if you were to be frank it was like feeding a child, how he picked apart the sweet grub from the vegetables only for Neytiri and you to scold him; while Neytiri was the one who was never critical of what she ate, as long as it was Na’vi’s traditional foods and made with attentiveness, she was more than willing to consume it. Prepping meals for them was one of the many things they admired from you, given their engaged schedule, and making something extra came in handy when you wanted a little something from them. It didn’t fail you before, so why should it tonight?

“Tell us about your day, txe’lan. Are you alright?” Neytiri queried when she took notice of the anxious movement your fingers would occasionally stray to the accessories decorating your collarbones. Seeing this, she reached over, delicately lacing her fingers with yours and gave a small squeeze. She picked up a deep liking to the way your fingers were adorned with multiple silver rings, always toying with them in wonder.

There was a specific one she enjoyed to look at, and it was the one around your ring finger, little fragments of trinkets embedded and shaped into a pair of wings, and the story of how you had gotten it always made her smile softly while Jake would blow out into a full on grin, knowing they were the ones behind the story; sort of like an engagement ring. It was a lovable act from them both, the two of the most lovable mates you could ever ask for.

Trying to sustain a firm demeanor was resulting to be an impracticable goal the longer your gaze stayed fixated on your locked hands, smiling very briefly at how her three fingers wrapped around yours, thumb rubbing gentle circles over your skin. Your smile became inevitable when Jake came into your view, sitting next to Neytiri with Neteyam and Kiri bouncing happily on his lap while both took turns curiously tugging on their father’s dark locs, Neteyam mostly, and very curiously, tapping the accessories Jake had around the middle of his neck. “Hey, watch it,” he playfully scolded, then returned his gaze to you. “Yeah, how was your day, angel? Did these two gremlins give you any trouble?”

Your mouth curled before taking a small and final bite of your food. “It was nice. Kiri was curious, as always, grabbing everything, relentless as usual. Right, beautiful girl?” Her round eyes crinkled in the way her birth mother’s would when she’d smile, and you chuckled softly before turning to the other. “‘Teyam was very good and quiet, right, my little warrior?” He reflected your wide smile, and it took everything in you to not squeal in excitement at how his smile resembled his mama Neytiri’s.

“Thought I was your warrior.” Jake frowned at you, of course he did. You could tell by his tone of voice, by the gruff tone he implied.

You let your eyes flicker up at him, and inside you were now debating whether or not Neteyam looked more like his father or mother by the way his wide eyes looked up at him and mimicked Jake’s pout, Kiri stretching out a tiny fist and pounded Jake’s cheek. Neytiri chuckled, fingers covering her mouth while you squirmed in resistance, only to break in defeat when you caught a glimpse of her beautiful smile. One that crinkled her bright irises, the creases slightly prominent due to her happiness.

“You’re my protector,” you corrected, and he hummed with an arched brow. “Doesn’t that indicate a warrior too?” His stare bounced between you and Neytiri, and you chuckled. “Neytiri is my other warrior, my breathtaking warrior,” you cheeked, laughing when both their expressions were complete opposites from the other. Hers beamed and his frowned. “hey that’s not fair, I can be breathtaking for you—”

“But you are not,” Neytiri chirped, tease edged in her voice as she smirked at the small glare he gave her before looking back at you. “So I’m not breathtaking?” Neytiri’s chuckle tugged one out of you and you couldn’t help but chew on your lip when you looked at Jake. Honed gaze, current frowning mouth tilting slightly up when he realized your expression, and gosh he was beautiful. ‘Stupidly beautiful’, Neytiri had once commented, and he had taken that as a strong complement minus the stupid. Of course he was breathtaking, he himself knew this from the way your face screamed how unfairly gorgeous he was.

“You’re staring, babygirl.”

You glanced down with a sheepish smile. “Yeah, I know.” His smile increased into a big grin as he laughed along with Neytiri until his cut into a grunt of pain when Kiri tugged harder onto his hair. “ Girl, calm your ass down—ow!”

“Do not say those things around babies, skxawng!”

The scene before you flooded your brain with the image of them with an additional child. Little girl, maybe little boy, who shared the same pure mischief as their older sister and silent wonder of the older brother, both containing that happiness that your mates both carried in this moment, squealing, giggling, running across your home’s grounds as Jake chased them, sitting between Neytiri’s legs as she styled their hair, staring up at their parents in wonder while lying between you three in your large hammock, laughing with every lame joke Jake would make while they snuggled into each other’s warmth. They were already wonderful parents given the weeks, almost 4 months since Neteyam’s and Kiri’s birth. They could at least handle one more, given the love and patience they had with the babies, with each other, with you.

“So… speaking of babies,”

Neytiri’s hold on you tightened and you couldn’t decide if whether the twitch spasming the corners of her lips was to contain its act of lifting or falling, while Jake made what could be a grunt in the back of his throat, rising to his feet while cooing whatever talk he could to his kids. “We weren’t really speaking about babies? It started with Neytiri asking about your day, then we drifted to breathtaking and how I am indeed that.”

“I’m not playing, Jake.” You henced, but it seems he didn’t get the message by the mirth in his irises. “Me too!”

“Jake.” Your other lover warned, a stern look when the two made eye contact. Your brow rose at the silence they shared, a sigh leaving him before looking back at you, but the amusement still lied in his face. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel some sort of defeat at how this conversation has started, but gratefully you had Neytiri by your side and the both of you knew very well he always used his sense of humor to shift the subject in a whole other direction. You sensed that Neytiri was about to tell him something more, but the firm clench of your fingers around hers halted her from doing so.

“You don’t remember what we were talking about the other night? What you said so suddenly to Neytiri and I?”

His stare tilted to the sky, this time not fighting off Kiri pulling to his hair as he hummed as if in thought. “We talk every night, and y’know me and my mouth say whatever, so I think one of you should remind me.” Vexation flared into you, rolling your eyes towards Neytiri’s direction, expecting to see her with the same expression you carried only for your annoyance to increase and perplexity assist it from her too bright smile.

Her expression only seemed to have grown when you ripped away your touch from her and stood up. A sigh of exasperation left your lips already comprehending the fact that they were up to something. “You two, I don’t have time for games. Jake, for once, no jokes and Neytiri, please just tell me what’s going on!” You practically stomped your way towards Jake and took Kiri from him, oblivious to the confused babble leaving the baby from losing contact with her dad’s odd hair, while he watched you in amusement when you returned for Neteyam after setting her down in a handmade cradle. She took interest in playing with the material, cooing at it cutely.

Neytiri would be lying if she said this wasn’t at least fun to watch, how riled up you became, but she also wanted Jake to speed up whatever it is he’s doing so they can finally get on with it. “Neytiri, darling, I kinda remember having a talk with y'all. But then again, between our girl making all those pretty sounds and us talking, it’s kind of a blur, don’t ya think, baby?” There was that shit eating smirk stretched across his face, and Neytiri threw him a look of warning when you silently walked away from them with Neteyam in your arms.

You kneeled down to place him beside his sister, a small toy Jake crafted for his baby boy before his birth being the focus of Neteyam’s entertainment as you stood up, gazing down at them with a small smile. The opening tone in Jake’s voice let you know there was more to be added, and it would be a lie to say you weren't curious about where they planned to drive this conversation. But you didn’t look at them, not when you were trying to control your emotions by staring at two of the four sources of your tranquility, because the other two happen to be the ignition of that irritation.

The sound of clinking beads swayed in the air, and just when you were about to turn you felt the tall presence lumbering behind you. You couldn’t help huffing out a chuckle when that presence came down to crouch behind you, the length of two gentle arms wrapped around your torso. You looked down to those familiar arms, recognizing they belonged to Neytiri before even looking at them. Your eyes traced the way three of her fingers twined across your bare stomach, how her palms pushed very lightly into your flesh, and you exhaled. Tension had entangled you up way before she had even touched you, all because of a ceaseless conversation that never gave you anything in favor, but you couldn’t resist mollifying the second your wife touched you — because of course, who would not mollify for Neytiri?

“Neytiri.”

“I remember well what we talked about,” A soft kiss met the angle of your jawline, soon moving down and stopped just right below your necklace before placing her chin over your shoulder, and that unique, earthy smell that was solely her consumed your inhales. “It is unlikely for our Jake to bring up more…babies, or am I wrong, tiyawn?”

“Neytiri.”

Stern was more of a whine in your voice, and when she chuckled, it jittered through you to the point where you felt it to your bones, practically vibrating every ounce of your frustration away. “I know he can be…what you say a pain in the ass, but he is only teasing.”

“Yeah angel,” another voice chirped into the conversation, larger palms sliding just right above Neytiri’s. “You really think I’m capable of forgetting about our important talk?”

“No but you’re capable of changing the subject while Neytiri just stays quiet, and in my opinion that’s even more frustrating than if you forget.”

“Forgive me, my beautiful girl,” Neytiri voiced, and her soft yearn indicated she truly was sorry for her actions. “But, I had reason to do it.”

The hum Jake slurred out practically yelled he had that stupid grin on his face. “If I’ve been changing it and Tiri’s been quiet, you think we would’ve stopped by to visit Norm and the other geeks and made arrangements for next week?”

Your eyes turned big and rounder than they usually were when you swiveled in Neytiri’s arms to look at them, face inches away from hers while Jake stood knelt beside her. “I’m sorry— you two did what?”

“Ya heard me, angel .” Jake carried a wide, prideful smile — Neytiri’s more anticipating your reaction as her tail swished behind her, and it only widened with every passing second your eyes darted between the two, not knowing what to say just yet. When everything clicked, and you couldn’t contain reaching over towards Jake and smacking him hard across the head while lightly tugging one of Neytiri’s braids.

“Ow! What the actual fu—” Two smacks, one accompanied by Neytiri, met his chest this time when Neteyam’s big eyes looked at his father, though Kiri seemed unfazed.

“The first was for making me think you lied,” You looked at Neytiri, “That was for not saying anything,” then back at Jake, “and the other was for almost dropping an f bomb on your kids.”

“Our kids are too young to process what the f word really means— but okay I get what you’re saying …”

“ Our intention are never to hurt you, txe’lan. When have we ever lied?” Neytiri murmured, pulling you back into her embrace while Jake tried soothing the pain of his head and chest. You couldn’t help rolling your eyes at his overreacted tactics, but leaned into your wife, “Never…I think.”

Her thumb and pointer finger gently grabbed ahold of your chin and tilted your head up to meet her gaze. Her tone was softer, steady and hushed the way it always did when speaking only to you. “Then why lie now?”

“We haven’t talked about this in almost over a week and I just didn’t want to push you into something you don’t want.” Delicate as a whisper were your words; each syllable trembling from your lips, hesitant and uncertain as if afraid to be heard. With a slight bow of your head, you almost surrendered to your timidity but your wife was not fond of it at this moment, elevating your chin up once more, savoring the pure beauty you conveyed and the way your lower lip curled between your teeth.

“We have told you; your desires are our desires. Again, forgive me for keeping quiet. I just …” her forehead creased, mouth parted slightly as she tried searching for the correct words. “I didn’t know how to bring it up…how to help give you what you wish. It was wrong to do this without you but…”

“I asked her not to because we wanted this to be a surprise,” he smiled, palm enveloping your cheek before that mischief snuck its way across his face. “Besides, we also wanted to see how long it would take you to crack,”

“I told you, ma Jake. She is better than you expect.” Neytiri grinned, and this time you couldn’t contain your own smile. Jake peered down at the kids and hummed, causing you and Neytiri to looked down as well only to see their eyes fluttered shut, curling into one another as their little mouths parted as soft exhales and inhales rose from their chubby bodies.

“So now that they’re asleep…”

You squealed when he roughly pulled you out of Neytiri’s grasp, Neytiri about to protest until he too lifted her in his arms. “Jake!”

“Shh, don’t wanna wake the babies up,” His long legs carried him to your large hammock with ease. He carefully placed the two of you down, grinning widely. A deep kiss met Neytiri’s mouth, one following yours afterwards. “Let’s try and get one of those things in you, yeah?”

You giggled breathily against Neytiri’s mouth, knowing Jake’s hungry gaze was watching his wives’ every movement right before him as her fingers carefully but so adeptly took off the Na’vi clothing you wore, taking advantage of brushing her touch quite long enough to burn your skin. “Don’t think it works that way with all three of us–”

He smirked deviously, crawling over the both of you. “Let’s test that out, shall we?”

Being one to live as a wheelchair user may perhaps be one of the hardest things Jake had ever experienced. Though what might be worse than becoming a wheelchair user is living as one. Mentally and physically exhausting he cultivated with each passing second of every day, things he never thought to upkeep with his disabled body. It didn’t surprise him, how the current world reacted to what he’d been through and deemed it as if it wasn't something grand. While days were torturous, he’d slowly adjusted to his new way of surviving. It became ... a tad bit easier, though while others weren’t the least caring for his state, they did underestimate his capabilities, his strength, his intelligence and took him for “the man with chicken legs.”

“Your brother represented a significant investment. We’d like to talk to you about taking over his contract, and since your genome was identical to his, you could step into his shoes … so to speak. It’d be a fresh start in a new world. You could do something important. You can make a difference.”

So when the unforeseen moment that he had discovered his twin brother’s passing led him through the Avatar program in return of something highly valued for his beneficence, he wasted no second in consenting to his now late brother’s place.

He had agreed to get surgery, though the process somehow was a bit too long since he had declined at first, and Tommy had said something about handling a few issues before continuing with his surgery, and after the 11 days passed, he was released to go home which perplexed him. That was until learning the cause of his brother’s death, of what were the issues delaying his surgery; opponents in the same field had it out for him, even for the paper in his wallet.

“We’ll provide everything you need for this trip, now go big your goodbyes, go home, gather the few things you’d like to take,” they had told him, “though I doubt you’ll need it these next 5 years.”

He doubted he had anything he’d like to take, there’s not much for him to value and take or had someone to bid goodbyes to. Everyone he knew had parted from his life, chipping away the smallest of pieces that formed some sort of comforting fortress in him, especially her. He hadn’t heard a thing about the girl he adored in weeks. He visited her of course, for many many months; he’d stay long hours in her room, both laid and tightly nuzzled in her hospital bed while talking, but one day she was nowhere to be seen, and no one would give him information as to what had happened to her, if she was out of the hospital. The last thing he heard was that she had another destination to go towards, and that was all yet not enough. So why not take his brother’s place and start anew as they say? He did though, gather a small luggage, received a well and quick haircut, and took his leave.

Jake’s fingers loosely curled around the wheels on each of his sides, strolling between the familiar stark white hallways of the hospital he once had been a patient in to visit to give his form a brief examination and quick feedback in hopes for him to take this procedure to Pandora. And maybe, just maybe, he’d catch a glimpse of the angel he terribly missed and needed at this time.

As he went through the building, he recalled his brother being proud to be a part of this facility, of something grand and meaningful, unyielding passion he possessed to help everyone within this building. “A place to help people with disabilities, small and big. I can be a part of that help, Jake. I can find solutions, maybe even find one that brings this damn earth back to life.” Tommy had told him with the reflection of his exact smile, a small chuckle rising from Jake and acknowledged everything else being said, about seeking solutions to issues that collide on this planet, about traveling light years to some distant moon that could carry them. Ironic to become the brother with the disabilities and now being the one going light years away, he thought.

Typically, visits — checkups — to the hospital were ones he only looked forward to ending as soon as they started, an activity he dreaded in doing so for the very reason that he simply doesn’t want to be sitting in a room with some doctor repeating the constant news as the previous visit: “you’re subjected to this condition for the rest of your life”, “it seems you aren’t progressing anytime soon”, “well you won’t have to worry about a random leg cramp anymore, right?” But today, surprisingly, he looked forward to this checkup. Sure, they’d repeat the same thing of his condition, but this time he had hoped for an addition to those words.

A man, dressed in a dark suit, walked his way. Jake recognized him as one of the guys who’d informed him of his brother’s deaf, seeing a smile pursing his mouth. “Seems to me you’re rather thrilled for this than the last time I’d seen you.”

An exhale left Jake’s nostrils, his shoulder lifting. “Just wait ‘till you see me stand and dance in excitement.”

The man, unknown of his name, sighed at the dry humor, head motioning to the hallway that leads Jake to his appointment. “I don’t think most people here will take your exciting miracle too kindly, especially considering some of them are most likely not able to recover or make it. You’re here to participate in making a difference, Sully. We aren’t here for sarcasm.”

Jake resisted from rolling his eyes as he strolled a bit further ahead of him. “Thought I could at least have fun with this. I ain’t mean it to offend anyone, all I mean is I am looking forward to this.”

The man didn’t know whether to take Jake’s tone as sarcasm or solemnity, simply nodding when he peered a glance over his shoulder as if to say, ‘well, you coming or not?’

After an hour of being in a room, having an MRI and CT scan, then with people from the RDA, doctors, and the suited man ( the news were as Jake predicted — the same, additionally with the other news that he can make the long trip and it won’t affect him whatsoever ), Jake was led through a different hall he hadn’t seen the last he’d been there, leading him to his long flight. He disregarded the peculiar glances hurled his way, a second nature action he’d grown accustomed in doing after weeks tolerating his faith in a wheelchair.

He was surprised to see how many people — more men than women — surged the place, how lengthy the lines were, the employees assisting, checking in, getting everything in order and setting for those who were leaving to be prepared. A few men’s families were present, bidding their goodbyes and farewells. He recognized the fear, the longing hope of safety to be with their parting member, the nerves racketing through while the men tried keeping a steady posture, a neutral tone. He sympathized for them, but there was no doubt that he thought they should feel fortunate to have someone there with them.

There was still quite some time until they attended him, so he took a chance in taking one more stop before he left this planet; the infantry ward. Memories from weeks ago, maybe even a month or so flooded his brain constantly, each filled with the thought of her, Y/N L/N. Of all the randomest topics she seemed to have come up with. Now, even when he sees a baby he can’t help but picture how excited she’d be, how warm her face would turn, how she’d rant on and on about wanting to bore one. Even now as the window before him revealed those newborns, he still illustrates the image of her right beside him, staring at them, then gifting him with those eyes before parting them back to those babies.

The memory of her perhaps was the only thing keeping him from going back into a dark place in his life, from wasting himself nonstop and attending bars that don’t appreciate his presence, let alone acknowledge him. He missed her, missed having that good sensation that only increased when with her. He at least wanted a moment, a chance to say goodbye, to wish her the best. Maybe to have some motive…to stay. Anywhere near her, he’d stay.

That wishful hope for her to come through the halls in all her divine beauty seemed to slip through his fingers as he waited, as he tried grasping for patience. But it only decreased and disintegrated into exasperation, inhaling a deep breath before turning.

“Leaving so soon, marine?”

His head snapped towards the voice, blue eyes widened at the sight of her practically beaming at him. He looked her over, rebreathing that neverending beauty, taking in how she was no longer in a gown, how her IV pole was no longer in her hold. Instead she was in formal wear, and she held a bag similar to his, and that’s when it clicked where your destination was. His heart smacked harshly against his ribcage as she sauntered his way, chewing on her lower lip.

“Well I was, but I guess I can stick around. Don’t wanna leave you alone.” he repeated, smiling up at her as he led himself towards her. There was that giggle that made him feel all kinds of things, and he would’ve scoffed at the way she knelt down to meet him face to face if it wasn’t for him refreshening his memory of that pretty face. “What? You’re staying by my side now?”

He grinned, wrapping a palm around the side of her neck. “Damn right I am.”

His kiss was a great combination of gentleness but desperation, sweet but harsh, yearning but commanding. He didn’t once let her go, if anything he raised his other hand and grasped her face while her hands wrapped around his forearms, trying to keep up with his pace. “You’re leaving.” she breathed against his mouth, and he only smiled while fluttering his eyes open. “So are you, angel.” she exhaled, almost overwhelmed at the sound of the nickname, swollen lips agape near the corner of his own, “In a few. How about you?”

“In a few as well…” his murmur ghosted her skin, chuckling when her fingers skimmed across his scalp in a curious manner, thumbs tracing his temples. “That’s the reason for this new look?”

“Maybe…I also didn’t want to keep looking like Tommy. Like it?”

“I love it…” she hummed before pulling away, a softness falling upon her when he kept his hold on her face. “I heard what happened…Are you okay?” He only shrugged, honed gaze locked on hers. “I’ve been alright…Y’know, this might sound horrible but,” he tugged her close until his mouth was brushing hers, inhaling and letting that floral mist consume his atmosphere. “What was worse than losing Tommy was that I wasn’t by your side at all…and I missed you.”

Her eyes shimmered at his words, though trying to contain her smile. “That does sound terrible, but I missed you too, Jake.” He liked the way his name fell from her lips, how it ignited that fire he felt so wildly with her. Though he did have a sudden intrigue and deep concern. “They’re letting you go with your condition?”

She bobbed her head, “They say that maybe there’s some kind of cure up there…and me being a researcher in this sort of field, I can find out more about it.” her brow rose, eyes widening in a way that made Jake think of her adorable. “I’m assuming you’re going for Tommy?”

“Same DNA, twins, must take his place, maybe I’ll get my legs back…” he sighed. “Something like that.” She hummed, drawing him back in with a soft smile. “Well…at least we’ll get to be together, no?”

His cheek hoisted, oceanic eyes consuming her wholly when he looked between her lips and eyes. “Hell, yeah.” The intimate moment had been cut short, however, when an announcement suddenly echoed through the halls from the speakers up on the ceiling, “Jake Sully, brother of Tom Sully. Y/N L/N. Please appear where you should be for your departure immediately.”

“I’m gonna miss these little ones…” Her palm rose to the glass, lingering there for a moment as a baby’s tiny eyes fluttered open, a soft coo leaving their little ‘o’ shaped mouth. Jake could only smile and nod, “I’ll get you one of them soon.” he jested, and her head tilted his way with a spark in her eyes he was familiar with, but both said nothing afterwards.

The short but entire way to their designated area, they kept close, and it looked entirely odd yet wholesome to others, the way she kept her hand on his shoulder the entire time, the way he glanced up at her with the biggest smile there was for the reason being he had someone not only there but leaving with him as well. Any trace of distress disappeared when he was about to be put in cryptonic sleep, glancing one more time at her only to see she’d already been looking at him with a soft grin.

“See you in five years, marine.”

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

The RDA decreased from view as Trudy Charon, a transport pilot working for the RDA itself, designated her Samson rotorcraft with a proud sense swarming her. Within the craft was Dr. Grace Augustine, her right hand and xenoanthropologist, Norm Spellman, former marine, Jake Sully, and wondrous researcher Y/N L/N.

“All right you three, we need to be careful with this,” Grace, mind already transferred to her avatar body, turned Y/N’s way as she was seated between Norm and Jake who’d also been resettled in their avatar bodies. “especially you, Y/N. You have no avatar, and Pandora’s forest is no place for a mere human being, alright?”

Her chin jutted up and down twice, a smile of glee enchanting her delicate complexion beneath the exomask. Jake could only stare at her with adoration coloring his newly featured amber eyes. He could feel each ounce of thrill bouncing off her being and into his system. He knew that apart from coming to search for some cure, being in Pandora was one of her greatest wishes to grant, and he wasn’t going to ruin this for her whatsoever. Especially with her condition. Right there in that moment, he only wished to enjoy it with her. And of course, protect her because as Grace said, she has no avatar.

There hadn’t been enough time to prepare one for her, and the reason for that greatly included the state of her immune system, her well-being. Grace had mentioned that she needed to run more tests, check if the atmosphere of Pandora would either affect her avatar along with her human body or if she’d be safe. It benefited him with the fact that he had to stay as close as possible to her, though he did have some doubts about Y/N being out in the open in Pandora. As mentioned, her complexion had been very delicate, sparkling eyes gaining a drain to them despite the happiness she expressed. Thanks to his newfound senses, he could hear the gentle thumps of her heartbeat, feel the warmth that radiated endlessly from her body, feel the very light quivers that ached through her due to her health.

His hand, freakishly blue and larger than his normal size, carefully, so very carefully captured her much tinier hand, interlacing his long fingers between hers. Her eyes, currently gazing out at Pandora’s exquisite views, instantly turned towards his, only to see he was already staring at her.

His incisors somehow intensified the charisma of his soft grin, keeping those golden depths on each of her movements. She tracked down the stroke of concern on his lips, the flicker of uneasiness within them, and offered him a much brighter and assuring smile as if to say, ‘I’m okay, really’. She let her eyes stray to their clasped hands, entranced with the way his deep azure tones clashed beautifully with her neutral ones. Every ounce of second thoughts or anxious feelings ceased from existence for she only felt him; the warmth of his wondrously large palm, the laxness of his grip.

She was sure she was in good hands, for the moment Y/N had arrived and made Grace’s acquaintance she was quick to put up rules for her safety, giving her a proper warning to take good care of her health and that her usual check-ups back on earth would still take place in Pandora within the RDA. And Norm, well he respected the researcher given she was young and had great enthusiasm for the world’s rare beauty. Trudy had been informed to take precaution and keep a close eye on the young woman, and she seemed to get along great with her but none of them beat Jake in that apartment. He was a steady balance of overprotective and letting his girl enjoy herself, though she had a vague idea of how he’d act in this planet now that he has regained movement of his legs, recalling how excited he’d been that he was reckless when barging into the lab and lifted Y/N in his arms, ignoring the protests of all the others, especially Grace.

“C’mere, lemme hold you closer so you can see,” Jake murmured, putting his weapon down and lifted Y/N onto his lap before she could even protest. A breathless ‘woah’ fell from her lips at the view of wide stretched and tall trees, eyes falling to the ground only to see a group of ginormous and rare creatures.

“Easy, Jake,” Trudy called from over her shoulder, “If you think it’s high for you tall ones, think how high it is for her.”

“Marine, be careful with her! Don’t drop her, damn it!” Grace scolded, and Y/N chuckled at the way Jake waved her off but tightened his hold around her midsection while nuzzling his jawbone into her now tangled hair thanks to the strong wind.

“I got her, doc. Don’t tell me how to protect her.”

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

Adoration was one of the grandest things Neytiri felt for her home; a habitat that flourished with the wonders of Eywa, arrayed in which greeneries and distinct creatures connect to each other, rely on one another for durability, gifting everyone within Pandora with a new, brilliant day.

Grateful she was to be apart of such environment, proud to hold and be able to carry out the Omaticayan’s rich traditions, especially carrying the role of becoming the clan’s future Tsahik. In the meantime, tsakarem she took part in and being a natural-like warrior, exploring within the rainforests.

Though while she sauntered through and over the wide, long branches, unfamiliar distressed voices were heard, and Neytiri’s curiosity peaked and led her towards it.

Beneath the thick branches and lengths of the green fronds wandered two figures; one who shared the similar species as her though not entirely, seeing how he’s dressed in sky demon wear and his long limbs moved with inelegance, caution against her home, an avatar, lumbering in an almost protective stance over a much smaller body. Another sky demon, female, and apparently average in height for their species, she recalled, watching as she uttered a small remark towards the avatar as they walked deeper into the forest.

Amber irises gleamed between the branches, the pair belonging to Neytiri grew piqued and questioned why two humans here, interfering in Pandora’s nature, in her home. They were misplaced, lost, and could end up tumbling in the grasp of death without proper guidance. She could let that happen, or perhaps she could take matters into her own hands, by positioning her bow and arrow towards them, gaze sharp.

She halted, however, caused by the sounds the male avatar did, a pinch of distress between his brows. Her head turned, unaware of where the female had gone until she spotted her in his arms, eyes fluttering shut behind the mask she wore.

“Y/N, c’mon angel, wake up! We gotta head back, I need you with me, now.”

Her eyes narrowed and flickered between the unconscious body and him, something remorseful twisting in her chest but she tried shaking it away by inhaling deeply, drawing her bow and arrow back once more, at him.

Just when she was about to release it, a woodsprite, known as atokirina to the Na’vi, floated her way, the mystical creature landing on her bow. It astonished the young warrior, soon becoming perplexed until realization weighed upon her. Just testing the waters, the point of her arrow tilted the human’s way, and the woodsprite didn’t move from its spot. Not until she set her weapon down, resisting her questions and giving into whatever Eywa desired.

She didn’t leave just yet though, if anything she kept an attentive eye on the both of them, debating on whether or not to help the male, and felt alert when he reached for the breathing mask over her face and pulled it off in a panicking act, mouth pressing, breathing into hers very carefully. She hissed sharply at his stupidity, and just as she was about to crawl out of her hiding spot, the woman …Y/N had awoken.

“W-what…happened?” Jake’s shoulder’s squared straight along with Neytiri’s, one looking at Y/N with an incredulous expression while the other was waiting for her to collapse any second.

“Why are you looking at me like that? Is there something on my face?” She reached for her bare cheek, brows knitting as she felt around her skin for anything while Jake’s eyes remained wide, waiting for her to take notice of something that was currently missing. “Jake, stop staring like that! You’re scaring — oh my gosh where is my mask?!”

She observed the interaction between the two, tail swaying at the way he had crouched down to her height, gently cradled her close, an amalgam of sentiments resembling horrified and shocked and extremely confused, while he repeated the same questions if she was alright, if she felt well enough to walk, if he had to carry her he would.

“Grace is gonna kill me if she finds out i let anything happen to you.” Her ear twitched at both the mention of her former mentor and the pitch of tone he used, crouching away from eyesight. “Jake, relax. Look at me, I’m fine! Nothing’s wrong, alright? Sure, I can…somehow breathe out here but I'm alive!” Hands, dainty and tiny in Neytiri’s perspective, reaching to practically mush his face between them, a brilliant smile rested upon the human’s features.

“She’s gonna lose her shit when she hears this! I tried being all heroic– coulda’ killed you.”

“You’re an idiot sometimes, y’know?”

He dragged out a hum, his hold careful enough to keep her close. “A big one, now aren’t I?” There was an odd feeling blooming in Neytiri’ body at the way they smiled at each other. While his was broad, goofy, irritatingly likable and his rather small eyes gazed at the girl in endearment, hers was pure, lovely, bright. Intrigue has already sunk its claws deep into Neytiri’s soul at why, out of everyone, did Eywa choose to let them live, and why is it that the girl had collapsed, and why is it that the two before her have some sort of bond she subconsciously felt captivated towards?

That intrigue had spiraled tenfold throughout the day as she watched and followed, precaution assisting her in case the idiot almost risked the girl’s life especially when the forest was unknown and dangerous to them both — well, her more, of course, seeing as he was too stubborn for Pandora’s dangers, though Neytiri was surprised at how well Y/N reacted to everything, ushering the avatar to respect and keep quiet. Sky demons didn’t produce that type of awareness of care for Pandora anymore, or so she thought, and witnessing one of them carry that sprouted a sense of admiration within the tsakarem. She found herself pursuing a small amused smirk at them both, holding back laughter and would scoff or roll her eyes when one nearly tripped or made teasing, incredibly lame remarks ( the male, of course.)

When nighttime set upon Pandora, however, Neytiri’s curiosity disappeared and became alert when a group of nantags surrounded them. “Do not react harshly.” she muttered under her breath, back straightening to have a better look at the scene before her. Of course, it was hallucinating of her to think either of them could hear her, because the lanky avatar had created a flame, trying — and failing — to shield the small person with his body as he yelled at the small creatures, pointing the fire at them in case they launched themselves at her. Instead, they ran his way and he wasted no time striking them with the stick, grunting with the action.

“J-jake!” She was left in the open, exposed for attack when he had fallen over. The fire had been knocked out of his hands and right in front of her, illuminating the fear that streaked her face. Just as one of them found an opening towards the human, Neytiri nearly came out of her spot until the woman tried grabbing ahold of the long, rather heavy for her size stick.

“C’mon, c’mon,” She found an easy grip, fully lashing it in front of her in hopes to scare the nantags away. But the length of the bludgeon outweighed her, losing balance and fell to the ground.

Neytiri finally crept out of the shadows, muttering the words, “Stupid, stupid, stupid.” at the so-called Jake when he stabbed a nantag. She jumped right between the human and two nantags, eyes narrowed and canines bared before she turned to Y/N. “Hand me that, tawtute” ( human ) the Na’vi spoke, watching the girl’s round eyes broadened, the fire’s flare enhancing their color as she looked up at the graceful, tall woman.

She forcefully tried to regard the human with contempt only for the corners of Neytiri’s mouth to fight against lifting at the wonder in her face, how she immediately did as she was ordered to. She ripped her eyes away from her, wincing at the refulgence the flame radiated before casting it into the nearest river before glowering at the animals and reaching for her bow.

The rest was an adrenaline blur, careful not to hurt the human or the avatar as she aimed an arrow towards a viperwolf that lunged their way. 3 had been needlessly killed by her, and remorse gutted her deep at her actions. Her eyes fluttered as she stabbed near the wound of one, its whimpers faint but frequent. “Oeru txoa livu, ma oeyä tsmukan. Hu nawma sa'nok tivul ngeyä tirea. Oeru txoa livu.” With one clean tug, the arrow had been removed, and a shallow breath rose from her chest when she approached another viperwolf.

Was this the purpose for Eywa to let them live? To kill her creatures?

“Where’s our fire?” She heard him inquire in a ridiculously loud voice. “She, uh, sorta put it out, but look! We don’t need it..woah.” Neytiri’s head lifted, her line of vision being greeted with the amazement that gleamed both their faces. His wide eyes were lifted to the fluorescence of the branches and wide and myriad shaped leaves while hers followed the outlines of the many glowing plants, a smile ghosting her features.

A sigh heaved out of Neytiri, trying to resume her focus on the squirming creature, “Oeru txoa livu,”

“Look, I know you, uh, probably don’t understand this, but uh—“

“ma oeyä tsmukan. Hu nawma sa'nok tivul ngeyä tirea,”

“…thank you.”

“Oeru txoa livu.”

“That was pretty impressive,” Jake uttered, the lopsided smile she thought to be stupid but charming resided on his face while he crouched a few feet away from her, and the human had only stayed quiet, inspecting Neytiri’s movements curiously with a tiny smile. She has a clear view of both features, had their full attention and there it was again; that magnetic tug, that rare thrill pulsing through her, only this time much stronger now that they were staring at her attentively.

Warmth blossomed in her chest when her gaze collided with his, and as much as she wanted to refuse ripping away from the two, she fully stood up and took a turn to leave. “H-hey wait a second!”

“Jake, no—”

“C’mon, maybe she can help us.”

The young warrior inhaled a sharp breath when she heard them follow her, hastening her every step. “Hey, wait a second, just slow down—”

“Jake, I don’t think she wants us following her, let’s just leave her alone—” She is not only strong at heart but wise, Neytiri thought as she threaded her fingers through the leaves, gently releasing them after she passed. “ I just wanted to say thanks for killing those things—”

She glanced down when his hand slipped around her forearm, snapping what was left of her thin patience. A sharpness whipped across his face, caused by the tip of her bow when she swung it purposefully at him.

“Ah, damn!” He stumbled down, touching his stinging face and looked at her in shock. The girl rushed to his side with a small stroke of ‘I told you so’. “You okay, Jake?” His head whipped up and his bulging eyes spoke more than enough for her to burst out giggling. “How the hell is this funny? Hurting me is funny— what was that for! All I was gonna do is thank her and ask for—”

“You don’t thank!” The thickness of Neytiri’s voice brought their attention toward her, Jake’s being more surprised at the newfound knowledge of her speaking English. “You don’t thank for this. This is sad. Very sad only.” The point of her weapon was still directed towards him, face etched with bane and what Y/N could only make out as deep offense.

She quickly slipped between them, a small hand stretching out against it. “He didn’t mean it that way. All he was trying to do was express his gratitude for helping us, that’s all, okay?”

Neytiri looked taken aback by her soft voice, lowering her bow as if trancened by the gentleness and panic gleaming in the human’s eyes. She watched how the avatar nodded along and lifted a hand to rest across the girl’s back. “Y-yeah, I’m sorry. Whatever I did, I am sorry.”

Her nose scrunched and her glowing eyes narrowed between them, gaze lingering on him. “This is your fault. They did not need to die, if you listen only to her, kept to self, then they would be alive still.” A breathless laugh of disbelief left Jake, and both women shot him a glare of warning. “My fault? They’re the ones who attacked us— I was just tryna keep her—”

Neytiri jabbed her bow down at him again, “Your fault!”

He looked at the girl beside him as if to say ‘help me out here, for crying out loud!’ only for her to give a small shrug and pat his shoulder, soon rising to stroke his head in a mocking manner. “You heard her. Your fault, baby.”

“What she has said. You are like a baby. Don’t know how to act. And she is like caregiver. Small but strong while you act like a baby.” Neytiri was oblivious to the mirthful smile Y/N carried, for the reason being Neytiri didn’t know she used the word as an affectionate nickname for Jake, but let her continue to scowl down at him. He sighed in frustration, cautiously pushing away the weapon as he slowly emerged from the ground. “Easy, now, okay?”

Her face remained wary when he looked at her. “All I was tryna do was keep Y/N safe. But if you love your little forest friends, then why not let them just kill our asses, huh?” Neytiri’s expression eased at the mention of the human, peering down at her when she too, stared up at her with the same question wandering around her mind. The warrior recognized what it was to have a strong heart, what it is like to want to protect the one you care for. What it is you’d do for those very people, whether you risk your own life or not, recklessly or not. Which is why her stare remained fixated on Jake. “Why save you?”

His hands fell over his legs, nodding. “Why save me? Why save her?”

She blinked once, then twice. The answer was right there in her mind and heart, though her lips parted a few times as she tried regaining her speech in English. “You have a strong heart,” she softly admitted, “No fear …” she took a step forward, her common nose scrunch returning, “but stupid. Ignorant like a child.”

“And you..” she looked at the human, ears fluttering back, “Rainforest is dangerous for humans, but even when small you have a strong heart also. Seykxel txe’lan. Patient. Listens and respects…” she breathed in deeply in exasperation at recalling the many times Y/N nearly tripped in the forest, “but clumsy. Very clumsy. You must be more careful.”

Jake snickered, only for Neytiri to toss him a fiery glare. “Protect her better.”

He scoffed, hands thrown up in the air, “What is it with people telling me how to protect you?”

Now it was Y/N’s turn to laugh, and eyes that were already full of brightness seemed to shine even more, which Neytiri did not think was possible for a simple human. The sound rang through her enhanced senses, mouth very slightly ajar when Jake grinned. The impossible increased when his smile added to the brightness, and she thought herself to be a fool if she didn’t at least smile.

He looked at her, smile transforming into a jesting one, a more comfortable one, and with that, she seethed out a hiss, glared at him, then her, and made a sharp turn to leave them. Little did she know they were opted to cross and tangle paths with her within seconds, though that entanglement had already begun the moment she laid curious eyes on them.

The constancy of unsettlement made your skin rigidify under the cool air of the former RDA’s structure, unlike the outside world of Pandora had. You were eternally grateful for not getting rid of your old clothing, settling with casual wear followed by a deep blue sweater. A section of this place was formed into an infirmary, and you, or anyone, were to think that an eternity of hospital visits and spending most of your childhood and teen years appointed to different doctors would have been enough preparation for you in this moment. But even if light years away from those hospitals and believing your minor theory would only prove to be fallacious, because regardless of the many doctors, many nurses, many months researching, many in and outs between hospital room to hospital room, it couldn’t compare to the way your whole body racked with disquiet in this precise moment.

“Ma Y/N, you are shaking.” Neytiri’s hand expanded across your lower back, smiling ever so lovingly at you, “Mawey ( be calm ), tiyawn.” Jake now reached over, a large palm cupping your thigh and striked you with that reassuring, sweet grin that always managed to ease you. “Yeah. That heart of yours is too fast right now. Just relax, baby.”

“How the hell do you guys expect me to just stop shaking when it’s damn freezing in here! You’d think that my body has gotten used to the heat from Pandora, but no. How are you not freezing your tails off?”

The picture was abnormal; two tall and long blue bodies, both in their Na’vi wear, both crouched down on each side of little, practically hyperventilating you, a human being seated on a chair, trying to ease your jittering soul. It wasn’t rare to see Jake in here, he’s paid many visits here just for Norm or for a brief check-up for you, or to witness how the others are doing, how they’re holding up. But it was Neytiri that slightly worried you – you could feel the tension she’s trying to thaw away for you, how she held back hissing at the people walking past, nearly stepping on her tail and the only thing keeping her from glaring at them was the small apology they uttered and the touch received by Jake and you.

A deep chuckle rumbled from Jake’s chest, the sound fanning your temple as he placed a sweet kiss there. “I know it’s been awhile, but I’m sure it’s not that bad here. But let’s do some of those breathing exercises before Norm comes up in here, yeah?” Your curt nod confirmed his small smile, motioning to Neytiri whose palm began to rub soothing circles into your lower back.

“Breathe in for us.” You did as he said, eyes screwed shut while inhaling deeply through your nose. “That’s good, angel, now hold it in.” Neytiri’s fingers continued pressing down your back, both finding a way to guide you through your exhale. “Release, lovely girl, nice and easy.” she crooned into your ear, smiling pleased at the feel of your frame relaxing, at the sound of your heart slowing down. “Again, yes?”

Her nose nuzzled very tenderly behind the soft skin of your ear, and Jake’s had his forehead against your own, guiding you through your breaths as your sighs met his mouth. That was the conclusion of their strategy to ease you, an achievement they both knew their abilities could prosper. Though you still felt your anxiety struggling to find a balance with your peace, it was still enough to get them to become equal, caused by none other than these two who know you so deeply, evaluated the precise things you needed despite them being unclear to you.

“You remember that other doc that helped Grace find out how you can breathe in Pandora and your condition? Also helped with Grace’s pregnancy?” You allowed yourself to respond with a ‘yes’ as their warmth started seeping through your system. “ She has a field in REI. Norm and her, Dr. Mason. She was an old friend of Grace too, and since we trusted Grace, and we trusted Dr. Mason with Kiri’s birth, Neytiri and we trust she can help us too…is that okay?”

Neytiri parted from your skin, glancing at you with expectant eyes while Jake smiled. “I trust you two…so yeah. It’s okay.” Just as Jake removed himself from you, Norm, in his avatar form, and you recognized Dr. Mason from the times you visited Grace’s pregnant avatar body, entered the room with a small smile.

“Hello, Y/N. Neytiri. Jake.” You each gave a small nod to the brunette doctor. “How’re you all feeling right now? Especially you, Y/N?”

The question seemed gratuitous, you thought, because despite the other two trying to comfort you, you knew it unnerved Neytiri by the way she kept hold on you and Jake, well he has a fine smile at the moment, but you’re more than certain it may be costing him a lot to keep calm for your sake. And you; distress drenched your glistening face, and your leg bounced unsteadily so by the seams of it, this doctor is not an observing one.

A chuckle dragged out of Jake’s throat, hand clasped once more over your knee while the other reached for Neytiri’s shoulder. “We’re good, she’s good. Just nervous.”

Norm made his way towards Jake, clapping him on the back with a smile thrown your way and Dr. Mason pulled out a stark white rolling stool beneath the desk in front of her. “And that’s okay, being nervous is perfectly normal,” she looked directly towards you, settling down on the stool. “It’s to be expected, but I can guarantee you that the results from HSG you took earlier are perfectly fine; there’s no stoppage within your fallopian tubes. Everything’s functioning just the way it’s supposed to be.”

Your shoulders heaved in relief, and Neytiri took a chance in taking your hand in hers and giving a squeeze. You trust these two, you trusted Grace and the delivery of Kiri, but the valid confirmation contained more impact in this case. “So that means we can move forward or..?”

“There’s something we do have to add onto this,” Norm chirped through Jake’s open question, and you sensed the edge in his voice and the way the doctor’s posture straightened. Neytiri’s eyes flickered between them in question though Jake remained unbothered. “About?”

“Do you know how avatars were made?” You gave him a nod while your wife and husband motioned no, and Norm sighed at this, mostly at Jake, hand rising to pinch the bridge of his nose, muttering ‘Of course you don’t’ before dropping his hand. “Alright, time for the ‘geek’ stuff, as you call it, Jake. Neytiri, I’m sure you can keep up.” You all held back a smirk when Jake rolled his eyes but motioned him to continue.

“The Avatar Program used an embryo, an unborn offspring, that contained a mixture of Na’vi genes, and the human DNA from the one who was selected or volunteered, which I hope you remember was called ‘the driver’ of the body. Then the avatar is in those incubators, waiting to grow,” Norm explained, fingers rising to his brows. “Because the avatar has our exact DNA, they carry our similar features. Brows, eyes, our hands, shoulders, etcetera.”

“Okay, so what does this have to do with a damn child?” Jake’s brow furrowed and you gave him a look before looking back at Norm who proceeded. “Your body is originally an avatar, Jake. Which means you carry our normal human DNA reproduction. Or at least carried. You’ve adapted quite a lot over the months, and we’ve never…seen a human get pregnant by one of the Na’vi.”

“But Grace was pregnant–”

“Her avatar was pregnant,” Dr. Mason corrected. “While her human body was not. And up to this day we are still running tests to see how that was possible. We aren’t sure how Y/N’s body is going to react to this pregnancy. Now,” she put her hands together out in front of her and stared between Neytiri and Jake, then you. “I am going to be blunt, and straightforward. And I need the truth, despite the discomfort, you three.” You all glanced at each other, giving a nod.

“Have you participated in sexual activities?”

Your face flared and throat constricted before clearing it. “I, uh well we–” Jake wasn’t any better, eyes straying from the doctor with his mouth pressed into a line. Yet Neytiri, she gave a solid, unbothered nod, “Yes, we have.”

The doctor chuckled at how your wide eyes snapped towards her, and she only looked at you bewildered at your and Jake’s behavior before looking back at the human in front of her. “There is issue with this?”

She chuckled and shook her head. “No there isn’t. I just have a pair of questions that may help with this procedure. It’s alright.” Her brows rose in specification. “I hope there’s plenty of precautions, however. Size is different, size is important. But seeing that Y/N is unharmed, well I’m sure you have taken them, no?” You all nodded in agreement. She smiled before it fell, turning towards Jake. “Have you ever had a carnal outlet within Y/N more than once? And by ‘carnal outlet’, I mean sexual release.”

And so the embarrassing heat crawling up your neck continued flowing with her bluntness. His mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, a distant look within his eyes as if recalling the events a few nights ago and you just have to resist bringing your hands to hide your face. His bright yellow eyes peered at you, then Neytiri whose expression spoke more than the truth. “Uh, yes. I have.”

She leaned back with a pensive look. “And from the looks of it, Y/N goes on without expecting a child. Now we could do an IVF to see if maybe that’d probably give some results. But even when creating an avatar, trying to bring together Na’vi DNA with a human’s was difficult enough, so there’s no telling how Y/N’s body would react to her egg and your…new sperm being definitely joined so…”

“You saying it won’t work?” Your chest churned a bit at Jake’s words, and Neytiri was becoming fretful from how long this whole conversation had become.

“We’re not sure. There also is something I have been debating on. Yes, joining human and Na’vi DNA came with difficulties, and it is a miracle that we had the opportunity to create avatars. But now here comes the more additional part Norm would like to assist me with.” All eyes were on Norm now whose face portrayed the utterance of slight nervousness. “It will, but the old fashion way. With Y/N…and another human.”

Jake’s eyes squinted. “Hold it. You mean she has to get knocked up by someone else?”

You resisted rolling your eyes and bit your lip. “You mean a sperm donor?” He whipped around and Neytiri’s forehead creased. “What does this mean?”

“It means some other guy’s sperm is gonna be donated to her and used for her to end up pregnant.”

“So the child will not be biologically ours?”

“Guess you can say that.” He grumbled, suddenly not very fond of the idea though you didn’t know what to feel.

“Biologically, no. Legal, yes.” Dr. Mason pointed out. “However,” Norm jumped in, sensing the shift in the atmosphere. “Not just by any guy’s sperm, if not yours, Jake.”

“I thought you just said my sperm ain’t gonna work since she hasn’t been knocked up with every round we’ve had. Then all three of us combined.” He bluntly spat out earning a smack to his bicep. “Jake, I swear—”

“Yes, we have said that. But we’re not talking about the body you have right now if not—”

“—My old body?”

Norm grinned. “exactly.”

“We gave his body a proper burial.” Neytiri frowned deeply, perplexed and perhaps a bit upset at this new information. “You will be breaking tradition if you go and take his body back after all this time.”

The room fell silent, and by the terribly familiar look Norm etched into his face, you already knew what had occurred before he could even begin to speak it into existence. “We have the body.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

The next thing you know, you’re all standing right before Jake’s human body that had been placed in a refrigeration morgue, still in a fine, well condition…alive. The sight of it…him with those once blue eyes hidden beneath completely shut eyelids, tugged on your heart, gulping thickly while you felt your mates’ tension radiating behind you. Neytiri’s gaze was punctured yet emotionless, but Jake, with the way his jaw set, the bareness of his back rippling with an unpleasant chill he didn’t think to feel.

“Why…why do you have this?” Jake rasped and looked at Norm who was leaning against the cold wall. “We wanted to see if your body was unaffected, still alive and well without you being in it… scientist curiosity.” He shrugged.

“And is it?” He nodded your way, peering down at the body. “Unconscious, obviously. But still functional…well except for the,” he motioned downwards, indicating the paralysis of his legs which Jake nodded at.

“And what does this have to do with Y/N and child?” Neytiri practically snarled, inhaling sharply and letting her hands fall over your shoulders, grasping a bit too tight. Dr. Mason, quiet the entire time, pushed her glasses back. “It means we’ll have to retrieve sperm from Jake’s old body to test this conclusion. We can try with your human body’s sperm with IVF as we spoke of the other day you were here, and if it does not meet the results, we can try with your current one now—”

“Hold on, my wife isn’t gonna become some sort of lab experiment.” Jake interrupted. “You should’ve told us all this before, including about this…thing right here. We don’t wanna put any strain on her body. You said so yourself, if putting Na'vi and human DNA was hard, now imagine her growing it in her. Her blood pressure and heart rate are going out of control with this whole process. I don’t want to risk her.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes while Neytiri let out a long sigh with a pang in her chest, signs of frustration and hurt which didn’t get past Dr. Mason. You and Neytiri knew it wasn’t unusual for him to act like this, he’d done the same thing during your previous appointment, and every night he’d lay with you two in his arms, a distant look upon his face as he stared up at the night sky and both of you knew what was gearing in his head, the possible complications and risks that may recite when dealing with your condition. Yes, it has lessened, but your heart hasn’t changed whatsoever. His behavior was not to be disincentive, again, you knew this; Jake, along with Neytiri, both wanted to be informed thoroughly of each step and risk before a big decision was made.

And while the revelation of his human body, the very body and face you had first fallen in love with, had come as a big surprise to you all, his acts could be discouraging sometimes despite the fact that you appreciated his efforts. “Jake, my love, I’m sure she knows all this already.”

You thought Neytiri would’ve the very least agree with your words, and yet; “But perhaps Jake is right in this, ma Y/N. We do not know how your body will react.”

“Neytiri, Jake. Your wife is correct. Given her condition, and the results of her uterosalpingography, my suggestion would be to proceed with the IUI, and if, only if she would agree, to see what will happen with each of Jake’s sperm. this could include medication, to ensure that you are ovulating if you on the other hand would not be, a trig—”

He shook his head, shrugging off Norm's hand. “If I remember correctly, Norm, you said her cycle begins and lasts between 28 and 36 days.”

“ Jake—”

“Yes, but—”

“Nah.” He tore his eyes away from his wives. “I may not be a woman, and I might be slow on some things but I know how your body works, Y/N. We don’t wanna do things that are unnecessary and might harm her.”

“She will begin ovulating in 3 days from now, no? So the procedure…it happens a day or two after, right?” Neytiri questioned curiously, peering down at you as your hands rose to her forearms. But your gaze remained on Jake’s former body, and Dr. Mason’s focus was kept on you and your silence, analyzing your expression. “You both are correct.” It was then that she motioned Norm to cover the body back up when you looked away.

“So we won’t continue with this.”

More of a blunt statement than a question, and this simmered a low groan in your chest forgetting how Jake can be with his tone sometimes. “How does your wife feel about this, Mr. Sully?” Norm’s palm pressed over Jake’s shoulder when he was about to move forward while Neytiri looked down at you, studying every part of your face, the way the muscles of your shoulders constricted beneath her touch.

Those golden eyes tendered for a moment before raising her head to look at Jake, tugging on his arm hard causing him to rip his glare away from Norm. “It is up to Y/N to decide how she wants this to happen, ma Jake.” He turned your way, once hardened eyes returning to their usual softness when upon his girls. You noticed the way his mouth pressed together, how he strained himself from breathing, then asking, “What do you want, angel?”

“Can you let Dr. Mason and I talk alone for a moment?”

Neytiri’s hold on you gave a small pressure before releasing, dropping a kiss to your forehead. “Of course, seykxel txe’lan. Whatever you decide, we will support it.” A sigh relicted from Jake, giving a quick glance to Norm then Dr. Mason before nodding. “We’ll be out here.” You smiled nervously at the way Neytiri eyed the doctor, her voice silent but her eyes speaking louder than audible words.

Their presence, and mainly his hesitation, to let you and the doctor enter the room was something permeable, breathed in by you both. When she closed the door, away from the tensing muddle out there, you exhaled while Dr. Mason quietly returned to her stool.

“I’m uh….sorry about him. And her.” You let out a wary laugh and she simply chuckled and settled with a soft smile. “There is nothing to apologize for, Y/N. I found myself expecting it considering previous encounters,” she waved off your apology, both chuckling before she perched herself forward. “But this isn’t about them right now. This is about you, your body. And as Neytiri said, your decision.”

You took in a slow, deep breath and processed her words, the doctor before you patiently waiting for you to respond. You do so by nodding your head, tightly clasping your hands together over your lap.

Her eyes squinted and cleared her throat. “The way Jake said it was a bit…too harsh. But again, Neytiri was right on point with the ovulation cycle. You are familiar with the function of IUI?”

“I’m familiar with the way Norm explained it all nervously while Jake and Neytiri watched him, yeah.” She chuckled and you couldn’t help smiling, comfortability being a main key in this procedure, and her presence was one connected to it as all the other times you’ve had encounters with her. “She was correct about your ovulating cycle?”

“Yes, I will begin ovulating in about 3 days.”

“Alright! Now, the procedure. You are familiar with it?” Her head tilt followed her question, lenses very slightly sliding down her nose before she adjusted them. Your reflection bounced off them, giving you a glimpse of the curiosity brimming your eyes, brows twisted in concentration. “I am, actually. But a brief review never harmed anyone, did it?”

She grinned amused at your words, grabbing a screen set over her desk and turned it on. “Of course not.”

“On the day of your ovulation, you'll return to me. The chosen sperm sample — chosen as in between Jake’s two forms — will be prepared and cleaned for the procedure. You might feel some mild discomfort from the speculum, but it shouldn't be painful.”

You nodded in agreement with every word, attentively absorbing each sentence. While Norm had already informed you about much of this, hearing it directly from the person conducting the procedure provided an additional sense of reassurance. But the mention of your mates, the choosing of Jake sort of triggered you.

She of course caught on to it, and paused. “The reason why we give you the option of Jake’s both forms is because we are not 100 percent certain if he now can accomplish this. The question being asked of him having an outlet had a major part in this, but since he confirmed he has and you haven’t sounded up pregnant…well we may have to try with his human form.”

“A-and that will for sure work?”

She turned off her screen and placed it down quietly with a sigh. “His human form, yes, I am certain there will be results, perhaps not right away but that’s normal. We can as well try with his Na’vi sperm as well, if you are up for it, though we may have to do IVF instead for that process.”

She attentively explained the difference to the process of IVF, and you kept up in order to understand what she meant.

“But there is something you may like to know, and I didn’t say to the other two because I need to hear from you first;” She held a tight smile, and you anxiously yearned for the doctor to finally articulate whatever it is she had to. “Neytiri and Jake, they’re both mated before Eywa, correct?”

You gave a nod and her gaze punctured on you a bit longer. “Well, I conclude that because they are a mated Na’vi pair, both their zygote may, perhaps, be able to combine with your own egg, given that the fetus may have not only yours and Jake’s genes, but biologically Neytiri’s as well.”

The idea thrilled and terrified you, but mainly thrilled especially clearly for the reason all three of you shared a part in this, by the prospect of welcoming not only a new life, but the thought of nurturing a child who would embody the unique blend of their shared genetics.

“But, there’s no exact response with how this will react with Neytiri in the circle. My theorized research indicates that it leans more on the positive side, though there still are flaws within this. So, to put it shortly; would you like to do IUI with Jake’s former body? If it doesn’t work, we can try again. We can do three to four rounds before and only if you decide to move on with IVF and inform Jake and Neytiri about this.”

You chewed on your lip contemplating our decision making and slight worries. You did want to take whatever chance you could if it meant birthing your own child, experiencing motherhood, fulfilling the dream of giving your mates an additional symbolism of your love. With that, you gave a firm nod. “I’ll do it. And the IVF.”

She gave you a smile, one that tried to bring some sort of tension release from your posture. “Alright then. Do you have any more questions for me?”

You inhaled, debating the single query that rattled within your brain at the moment, “is choosing this making me self absorbed?

“Having a baby makes one self absorbed?”

Your locks swayed from your head shake no. “Of course not but…given my heart, the big possibilities that might not be good, the stress. Me being human and in Pandora. How will the baby turn out…human or one of the Na’vi?”

“What Neytiri calls you..seykxel txe’lan. It means strong heart, correct?”

“Yes..”

“Do you believe that you have a strong heart?”

“I do.”

She proceeded. "Life holds immense value. Opting to utilize the precious gift of life bestowed upon you to bring forth another being is a weighty decision, especially considering your profound awareness of your given circumstances, but again; your physical capabilities are powerful. Your heart is strong, and it’s choosing to take this step because of that strength. You know this because it’s yours. While there may be uncertainty about whether this response fully addresses your inquiry, it summarizes the center of the situation as best as possible." Her mouth curled. “And the last one…let’s leave it up to God, or Eywa, as the Na’vi say.”

A watery laugh fell from your lips as you accepted her choice of words and nodded. You know you can handle this greatly. For your heart is strong, and it is under your knowing.

Dancing. A profound significance within the Na’vi, though Y/N and Jake witness it through the Omaticaya’s culture. It served as a vibrant and intricate expression of their traditions and communal bonds. It was strongly included after the hunt Jake and Neytiri had succeeded in, a Hunt Festival. As both their feet were led into the bustling of their Hometree by the Olo’eyktan’s daughter, they couldn’t help the amazement enhancing their expressions from a spirited atmosphere promised of not just mere entertainment but rather a living testimony of the rich tapestry of their heritage.

Her eyes were blown out, mouth elevated in a smile while Jake held a wide grin, both of you being maneuvered through the tugs Neytiri gave your arms, her share of an anticipating smile brightening the night. “Come, faster!”

“We’d be moving faster if this one here would speed up,” Jake smirked down at Y/N, a glower meeting his expression. “Not my fault I’m tinier,” she grumbled, a screech of surprise following along as he deftly carried her, arms thrown across his too broad shoulders. “If you drop me—“

“Oh, how the tables have turned in our size, angel.” The usual steady octave of his voice morphed into a tuneful hum, and Neytiri’s smile grew impossibly larger at the sight of them before grabbing Jake.

“Hurry.”

Tall and graceful figures shimmered of many colors to the rhythm of enticing music permeating the air. Many of the Na’vi’s blue frames were accentuated with extensively used bundles of feathers and long multicolored cords tied around their long arms and legs. And that included Neytiri, whose once braided hair had been released to free, dark tendrils cascading across her back, swaying with every quick step she took towards the one they called Tsu’tey, the scientist Norm, and Grace Augustine, and Jake settled down between his two friends with Y/N still in his arms, not bothering to set her down.

Eytukan, father of Neytiri, head of the clan and Olo’eyktan, and Mo’at, mother of Neytiri and the clan’s spiritual leader, discerned her daughter, then Jake, and after days of slight hesitation around the human’s presence, Eytukan found ease with her the moment he saw his mate confirmed she was not a harm, and was chosen alongside Jake. The Na’vi too had been skeptical, some still remained that way when seeing how Eywa had given a sign to not kill not just the avatar, but the human.

Though the acceptance from their Tsahik and Olo’eyktan gave them a sliver of peace, some disregarding their presence, others bowing their heads, some even greeting the pair. But right now, everyone’s concentration was bored into their dancing, into a spiritual connection that harmonized them with nature, embodying a profound respect for the flora and fauna that surround all that is living around them. And there was Neytiri, wavering fastidiously between all bodies unknown to Y/N and Jake, and out of all people she decided to keep her glowing eyes fixated on them both, teeth slightly bared in a smile.

Jake took part in conversing with Tsu’tey and other warriors, reciting the events that had taken place during the hunt, those around him loudly favoring him and he sported a large grin when Tsu’tey clapped him in the back before his attention returned to Neytiri, absorbing her fluent movements and beautiful presence, then the girl seated on his lap.

“You’re pretty wearing that, y’know?” Y/N shuddered beneath his touch on her neck, looking over only to meet vehement eyes and a small smirk, his freckles profounding his features beautifully. She beamed up at him, knowing what he meant by his words; she wore clothing the Na’vi had gifted her with, and her hair had been brought back, a small amount of narrow braids being styled by none other than Neytiri, twinkling yet light-colored spherules and cords woven through when the braid had been halfway finished, and a few strands had found their place in swaying across your temples and brows.

An angel she is, was what Jake’s heart thumped the more he looked at her, and it seemed he wasn’t the only one who thought so. A breathless and vibrant Neytiri had stepped out of the crowd and crouched in front of her, her legs transposing her much closer to them. “Jake is right;” The tips of her long fingers skimmed across a braid sitting comely over Y/N’s bare collarbone, right near a handcrafted necklace similar to Jake’s. “Sevin. Pretty. Very pretty tonight.” The human’s poor wayward heart prospered a fervor warmth at the tender curve Neytiri’s lips painted for her, at the words uttered for and because of her. She tried pushing back air from her lungs by clearing her throat, unaware of Jake’s gaze inspecting both of them scrupulously. “T-thank you…it’s because of you though. Irayo, Neytiri. (thank you)”

Her ears twitched at the sound of her name perfectly pronounced by Y/N’s lips. “Kea tìkin. (You’re welcome.)” The very lips she couldn’t help let her gaze fall upon for a brief moment before looking between her and Jake. A grin transformed her face, “You must dance.”

Her hand reached for his arm while the other went to Y/N’s knee, and his head whirled to her who recognized the strike of panic in him. “N-nah, I’m good. Not much of a dancer. Besides, Y/N is too small for that.” In true recognition, she knew how he hadn’t had any contact with dancing due to his paralysis back on Earth, especially considering he never had the apparent time when he joined the Marine. So, instead of prying him to stay and playfully scolding him for remarking her size, she slid off his lap and patted his cheek. “Go.”

“It is the way.” Neytiri insisted, giving Y/N’s knee a squeeze before grabbing his arm once more.

He peered between them, eyes squinted and searching Y/N’s round ones with his mouth pursed. “You sure?” Tsu’tey, the one betrothed to Neytiri, had an almost like scowl across his face but stayed quiet, watching how Neytiri beamed when he gave in at Y/N’s eager nod, pushing him into Neytiri’s hold. “Yes, now stop being a baby and dance!”

She giggled when Jake dropped a kiss to her head, and before him being dragged away he pulled along Grace who exclaimed in surprise, Norm laughing out loud before joining the three.

As the tempo of the music started to escalate, Neytiri positioned Jake in front of her, motioning for him to follow her movements along with everyone else’s around them; her palms extended out in front of her, and Jake’s brushed against hers before taking a small step forward and mirrored the way her hands shimmered and arms slowly glided above her head. Sparks of amber materialized, both their irises flickered when the pads of their fingers strode across one another’s, those sparks simmering with each of their movements and feathered touches. His chest racketed in an awful familiarity when with Y/N, throat tightening the more his eyes bore within hers. He resisted the urge to encase his palms around her forearms and wrap them around himself, firmly reminding himself of those surrounding them, of his angel watching them. And yet when he spared a glance her way, he saw her with the warmest of smiles, skin gaining its precious glow and eyes tender yet wondrous while staring at them both.

He had comprehended the way Y/N had grown incredibly close to Neytiri, and Neytiri never once denied or ignored her existence as a human. Sure, like any other of the Na’vi, the female warrior detained slight skepticism, but that was at the beginning. He discerned the way Neytiri treated Y/N with the equal amount of protection and precision as him; how her body would stay close to Y/N’s when walking through the forest, or how with her being human she was aware to her dietary being distinctly different to the Na’vi, so she would ride Seze and fly where Grace, Jake, and Norm’s human bodies resided in and her former mentor would help her gather nutritions for Y/N, returning to Pandora’s forests and firmly imply for the human to eat. Or how her thin patience with him is spared with Y/N’s quickness in picking up on their culture, traditions, and language. And if he wasn’t indicating something that was clearly noticeable, she approached not just Y/N but him with small gestures of affection.

From the lightest of touches to the specters of gazes and curls of gorgeous smiles or deep scowls and scolding remarks (mainly towards him but he found it entertaining) ; he, along with Y/N, sensed how grand Neytiri’s presence captivated them. He felt accepted with his Y/N, understood, acknowledged with his Y/N. He was saved because of her pure existence. But for the past months, Neytiri had made her scorching mark within their relationship, one that was the complete opposite of incapacitating. Sanctuary resided with both Y/N and her, safety, protection, strength, affirmation with himself, with his existence in this new world, completely disintegrating the main reason as to why he agreed to be a part of the Na’vi, and instead flourished a new desire within himself.

Those radiant specks ignited violently when the length of their fingers collided within the other’s, each speck accumulating between their clasped palms. Overwhelmed was her expression, eyes fluttering with the realization of what had occurred before gently pushing him away for the next part of the dance. He chuckled, giving one more look towards Y/N before devoting his complete focus to this dance, more so Neytiri.

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

Giggles and laughter wafted through the expansive canvas of Pandora's azure sky, where the rhythmic beats of tree drums faded into the background, becoming the least of their concerns. They ambled through the forest, their joyous expressions painting the scene with the happiest of faces.

"You could've joined us, Y/N. We would have found a way." Neytiri's graceful strides carried her among the radiant flora, huffing a giggle as Y/N grumbled when a sizable leaf brushed across her face, only for Jake to effortlessly pluck it away and swipe it aside.

"No worries, Tiri." A sweet smile graced her lips as she addressed the statuesque woman. "It might have been a bit awkward for you to kneel down in front of me or something."

A chuckle emanated from Jake as his hand descended gently over her head. "would've teamed you up with a youngster. Imagine how cute that’s be." Her captivating eyes sharply rolled in his direction. In times past, he might have found it not only adorable but also slightly intimidating. Yet now, he found himself in the realm of charm, fingers tenderly stroking beneath her chin, a quick move near Neytiri before Y/N could manage to push him away from the apartment of delightful moments.

Her cunning was evident, for as his elongated strides carried him farther from her, his tail swayed freely, exposed and vulnerable. Seizing the opportunity, she deftly entwined her fingers around its end, exerting a gentle tug. A hiss escaped his lips, a feeble attempt to feign annoyance, yet it dissolved swiftly as the infectious sound of their shared laughter enveloped them. The girls' giggles cascaded into uncontrollable fits of mirth, captivating him to the point where he couldn't resist joining in with a hearty chuckle.

He hunched down, pressing his palms firmly against his thighs, his gaze piercing as it locked onto her. "Come here," he commanded, his voice laced with anything but authority. A high-pitched squeal reverberated in his ears, her nimble feet propelling her towards the vibrant glow of neon lights. The sound of their resounding footfalls echoed in pursuit of her every step.

Pandora's breath danced through her hair, unfettered and carefree. The liberating sensation enveloped her as she sprinted, releasing laughter that lingered in the air with breathless grace. Gradually, her pace decelerated, the absence of their footsteps prompting a deliberate and attentive pause. Amid the hushed surroundings, she found herself captivated by the radiance of a luminous plant, its allure seizing her focus. Delicately, her fingers traced the intricate leaves, a smile softly adorning her lips.

A yelp left her throat as long, firm arms curl around your waist and raw warmth pressed into her from behind. “Gotcha,” Jake murmured into her neck, lips brushing her thrumming pulse point. For Eywa’s sake. “Got scared? Serves ya right for grabbing on my tail.”

Just as she’s willing her heart rate to slow down and closed her eyes for not even a second, Neytiri’s face appeared right in front of Y/N earning another jolt from her. “What is wrong with you!”

Neytiri’s laughter resonated with a joyous, airy cadence. A soft breeze swerved into her ears, finding its destination within Y/N’s heart and gifted it with the strong, steady beat it grandly needed in this moment.

“Forgive me, Y/N.” The flash of stark rows gleamed in a great smile. “Jake thought it would be fun. Are you alright?

She let out a breathy huff and allowed herself to melt in Jake’s embrace, reaching for Neytiri’s hands who without hesitation granted them to her. It was a common thing to witness now, the petite physical interactions between the two girls. Jake didn’t mind however, he enjoyed seeing them get along.

“I’m fine…just catching my breath.” She divulged, inhaling deeply only for her to catch Neytiri’s and Jake’s absorbing scents, before her elbow lightly nudged his torso. “Scared me. Rude ass.”

Jake’s arms tightened ever so slightly, thumbs stroking the unclad juts of her hip bones in something similar to an apology. “M’bad, angel.” He hummed, baring his teeth in a grin. “But it would’ve been funny to see you dance with a kid your exact size.”

“Jake.”

“It’s the truth! Imagine slow dancing with one, that’s be so adorable—”

She groaned, “Jake can you not!”

She released Neytiri to push his heavy arms away before reaching for one of his hands, then Neytiri’s and tugged her forward. “C’mon Tiri!” The young hunter, however, had a pensive expression, their words from earlier peeking a wonder in her.

“There is dancing in sky people’s home?”

Y/N’s current movements came to a halt, her head whirling towards the Na’vi woman. Jake let out a laugh edged with ridicule, as if her words were the punchline of a joke towards humankind until he saw her face. “Oh shit, you’re serious?”

“Oh shit, yes I am serious.” Mocking was her tone, and Y/N chuckled at her use of ‘shit’. “You didn’t cover this in the school Grace taught in?” he debriefed, head tilting as he stood up fully.

She nodded, “She did tell us this. But not specifics, another topic she moved to and we never knew if sky people danced different than us.” Her tresses fell behind her shoulders as she too stood to her full height, leaving Y/N to meet the center of her abdomen. The human took an abrupt step back, cheeks glowing with a subtle flush at how her tinier hand was still engulfed by Neytiri’s.

“They do dance, but not all have the same dance styles.”

“Dance styles?”

“Y-yeah. Like traditional dances, similar to your people’s, or break dancing, disco dancing, salsa, ballet, and a lot more.” Y/N smiled up at Neytiri as she proceeded her words. “What about the one Jake spoke of? Slow dancing?”

Her smile widened, glancing over at Jake who took in a breath before explaining. “It’s a dance—”

“Obviously, Sherlock.”

“Y/N, angel don’t interrupt me.”

“What is Sherlock?”

“Neytiri, honey, I’ll explain later—”

“Anyways! Slow dancing is a type of style where there’s two people, right? They get very close, sorta like a hug, I guess you can say. And you just,” his body swayed side to side in a silly motion that made Y/N hold back a giggle while Neytiri’s lips pursed. “Sway.”

“And, anyone can participate in this?” Y/N nodded, “but it’s seen as an intimate dance. Like, for couples.” The warrior stayed quiet, trying to gather her thoughts together to express them. “Have…you and Jake acted in slow dancing when both on earth?”

Jake snorted, his interlocked hand with Y/N’s swinging. “Nah, we couldn’t.” Neytiri didn’t understand fully, and they didn’t expect her to, and for the time being, they didn’t say anything just yet. She nodded in acknowledgement, respecting their silence and thought for a moment. “Would you like to?”

“Yeah…but like he said; I’m too short for it.”

“Size does not matter in intimacy.” The human blinked in surprise, staring up at Neytiri. “I suppose you’re right…but we need the right tune for it.”

“And tune as in song.” Jake interjected. “And we don’t happen to carry some portable speaker, so…”

“Song is all around us, Jake.” Neytiri was right. The lush and vibrant landscape was alive with a wide range of animal noises, creating an immersive auditory experience. The woods resounded with the chittering and chirping of hexapedal creatures like the woodsprites and viperwolves. Their interactions generated a lively background noise, enhancing the sense of a thriving ecosystem. The ground-dwelling direhorses, hammerhead titanotheres, and other unique beings added their own distinct vocalizations to the rich tapestry of Pandora's wildlife.

He cleared his throat and Y/N’s smile widened. “Do you want to learn, Tiri?”

Her determined nod made her laugh, and turned to Jake. “Mr. Good Height, you’re dancing with her.”

His brows jumped up. “Don’t wanna sound like an asshole, but I already danced with her.”

“You can do it again, can’t ya?”

“Why don’t you?”

Y/N hummed in false thought, leaning right in front of Neytiri and motioned her arms around her lower waist while Neytiri could only stare at what she was doing. “This a good way to slow dance?”

“She can get on her knees for you.” She caught the glint of mischief in his eyes, and she rolled her eyes in hopes to cover up the heat rushing to her cheeks. “No, that’d be awkward — Jake, come on.”

He looked over at Neytiri, debating, seeking if she wanted the option of dancing with him. He in reality did want to, but he wanted Y/N to have part in this as well, so she could feel that strong affinity he too felt. “Alright, but you have a part in this as well.”

She seemed unconvinced, pulling his arm in order for him to get closer to Neytiri. “Yeah, yeah I will take part by telling you how to. Jake, put a hand right…" She hovered his palm right over the arch of her back, his arm practically enveloping her, and she was fully aware of the way Neytiri’s breath sharpened and looked up at her. “You okay?”

She nodded, “What must I do?”

“Put one hand on his shoulder.”

The muscles constricted beneath her gentle touch, Jake clearing his throat and rose his other hand. “Gimme yours, now.” Both their hands now clasped together, and Y/N’s smiled softly at the way her four fingers glided through his human-like ones. Jake nodded as in remembrance of what occurred next and took lead. “Now, we just slowly move…”

Her eyes flickered to his for a brief moment, a rare shyness pervading her features and he couldn’t help but chuckle. “Relax…just follow my lead, alright?” Their chests brushed against one another at the delicate sway he indicated, bare feet motions small yet shockingly skillful steps, and Neytiri couldn’t help but stumble at the turn he gave her. He laughed, shaking his head when she glared his way and pulled away. “Sorry, it’s normal though. C’mon, let’s try again.”

“It will happen again?”

“It could, Tiri.” Y/N said, both glancing her way only to see her sitting on the glowing ground with an anticipating grin stretching her mouth. “But that’s okay! Just keep trying, okay?” She huffed out an ‘okay, yes’, resuming her position near the male who grinned at her. “Let’s repeat that motion again, okay? Just look at my feet if you want…lemme guide you through it.”

Lighthearted he felt from her curious eyes, at her small ‘like this?’, at the way she entrusted her body in his closeness, the way her nose would crunch up in small frustration before he would assure her it’s okay, Y/N giving her an encouraging smile when she looked aside. A few minutes had passed, and they had already made a full circle around the spot they’d been in, and she was wondrously catching onto the dance, his hands guiding her movements. Neytiri, initially skeptical, found joy in the dance. It was different from what she’d grown up with, much more simple, much more simplicity of contact that beheld pureness yet an intense amount of sensations…perhaps that is why she enjoyed it.

“There ya go, good job…” Excited, round globes made from shades of gold and green engulfed him, her ears fluttering at the small praise she had received. A few more languid beats went by, and subconsciously their faces inclined closer, his chin slightly dipped down causing his nose to feather down hers. Upon this act, those ember cinders convoked once more, just like the earlier dance. He embraced them, however, and she didn’t push away either.

It was like one of those old romantic films witnessed back on Earth, Y/N thought, her hand clasped against her cheek as her elbow hoisted over her thigh. But more profound and distinct, and maybe it was for the fact that they were in a whole other, much more preternatural world, its gorgeous fluorescent lights somehow intensifying their tall enchanting figures, the way their tails surged in synchronization with their now deft feet that moved across the glowing ground.

The once thought to be weak heart of hers encapsulated in her chest swelled when their movements came to a halt, and two pairs of golden irises turned to her, and a smiling Neytiri pulled away from him to grab the girl from her current sitting spot. “He said you have part in this too… come.”

Three beings, one apart of the Na’vi by birth, one once a Sky Warrior and now a part of the Omaticaya Na’vi, and one human prophesied by Eywa to live and walk among them as if one of Na’vi, could be seen dancing in Pandora’s forest, nocturnal creatures assisting in the moment with their light as Jake gently twirled the human and Neytiri with each of his hands. And what could be heard were the aerance laughters and giggles from the three, a bond just as much intimate and reflective as forming tsaheylu tethering the three’s hearts together in this precise moment.

Enduring the act of waiting wasn't a preference, but you were well acquainted with it. Your moral patience, unwillingly cultivated, now functioned as a whole waged implement. A day after your appointment with Dr. Mason was reduced to 3 weeks, requiring you to wait during that time before taking the next step for an HCG test or a pregnancy-like test that had been created.

Yet with that being said, the enduring act of waiting wasn’t one for you at times. Neytiri, however, as much as she wished for results if you’d been blessed with a child, stayed firm to her patience, trying to trust the process of sprouting life within your womb — though you did catch on to how odd and perhaps even terrifying it seemed to her, the numerous steps to be taken in this, how it couldn’t compare to the simplicity of Na’vi birth ( though in your perspective of a human, it did seem curiously strange to the way they gave birth as well —). And even the Tsahik had been involved with the hopes of a child, attentive to any signs the Great Mother may give. You did notice the amount of times Neytiri went to go see her mother, and when she would return she was reticent about it, a bit too curt followed by a minor smile. Perhaps you were thinking things too thoroughly, but she became slightly distant.

Jake was…unpredictable to determine his exact emotions, to say the least. One would think he’d be involved in the constancy of reassurance, but of course, actuality is a must in these cases. Erratic he was, deriving within his acts as Clan Leader a bit more often than he would usually have to do. Monitoring for the two little ones was never a complaint for you, always happily complying because you adore them endlessly, yet constantly doing so while trying to monitor your own health and Neytiri and Jake attending their own duties spawned something distinct from their habitual affectations.

Jake arrived home much later at night, his appetite strange, and he kept more quiet than he’d ever been with you on specific things. His act with his two children wasn’t any different, while he would hold and smile at them, his eyes carried a distant look. Now every time you held and played with them, that neutral demeanor would be there. One you haven’t seen since the conflict between the RDA and the Na’vi. You or Neytiri didn’t pry on it, but you knew Neytiri knew as to why he was behaving like this. When nightfall came, however, they never neglected in holding you close, almost too pleading, providing you with their sole warmth. You more than understood that they had their duties as Olo’eyktan and wife of Olo’eyktan to fulfill, how it may take partial time from your family. But now was a time you needed them more than ever, and confronting the two was bound to come with difficulties, because even Neytiri would be out the second sunlight peeked out in the sky.

So, when Neytiri had informed you she was going to meet her mother for something she didn’t specify any details about and the once bright day had come down to nightfall, you decided to notify Mo’at only for her to tell you she knew nothing of meeting with her daughter, and Jake had been on the calendar to train a few young warriors, your mother-in-law more than willingly stayed with her grandchildren for you to visit a specific spot in the forest, one you were familiar with from the many times you and your mates spend many loving moments there early on in your relationship. And of course, there you found the two glowing forms; Neytiri with her nose flaring as her mouth twisted into a frown, and Jake’s eyes came with tiredness and sadness all at once, ears flattening at the words coming out of your wife’s mouth.

“She has every right to know! I do not like this — the way you act, the way you keep secrets. You ask me to keep from her and she suffers more. I cannot— I have to say something!”

“Look, I know, believe me I know but how do you think she’s gonna take this? She’s not gonna take it well! We’re doing her a favor. Her heart—”

“Neytiri. Jake.”

They both spun your direction way before you could even utter their name, for they heard you coming a mile away, and their twisted features somewhat eased at the sight of you and Jake plastered a smile while Neytiri’s lips tightened together into a thin line.

“Hey, angel.” In three long strides Jake reached you, kneeling down and looped his long arms around you, the tip of his pink, cat-like nose nudging your cheek, and you couldn’t deny his affection. Your arms instantly wrapped around his shoulders as he gave you a swift but soft kiss, and you couldn’t help but follow his lips, wanting a much longer kiss. But you internally groaned when he pulled back, his brows furrowed as he looked at you. “Watcha doing out here all alone? It’s not safe, Y/N—”

“Do you two have any idea where you should be right now?”

His frown dropped and his chest bowed with a deep breath. “I know we’re supposed to be at home right now but—”

“And yet you two are not—” he rose to his full height, back turned your way and one of his hands came to tangle into his locs. “Why aren’t you at home?”

Jake could only look at anything but you, but Neytiri did the opposite, her gaze punctured over your distressed face, ears twitching at the sound of your heartbeat, at the way you tried keeping a steady rhythm and balance in your voice. “You’re not going to say anything, aren’t you?”

Her lips parted, eyes saddening before alarming at the frantic increase of your heart. “Ma Jake — ma stxe’lan, mawey-”

Jake had already turned to you, rushing to your side and splayed a large palm over the small of your back. “Baby, c’mon breathe for us.”

“Y—you two knew—” Neytiri was on your other side, fingers soothing over your chest for she knew how an ache emerged there when you tried to speak with a frantic heart. “Lovely girl, you must breathe.” But your head shakes were equivalent to the speed your heart did, a muskiness of tears warping your vision. “You knew. You knew, you knew! That’s why you’re not here—”

“Angel, please. Just please, pause and breathe.” You gave in to the soothing circles their fingers did over your skin, inhaling and exhaling as best as you could despite the jabbing pain in the back of your throat. But right when you nearly let yourself fall into their arms, you pushed from their touch, and Neytiri’s eyes never left yours while Jake inspected if you were hurt.

“So I’m not…I'm not pregnant.” Jake’s head dipped down, and it surprised you when he stayed silent and Neytiri was the one to respond, her mouth pushed down imitating the frown that could’ve drawn together her said-brows, allowing it to morph that beautiful face of hers. “Kehe, tiyawn. ( no love ) You are not.”

It didn’t bring you any ounce of comfort, however, when it was her simple statement to corroborate your doubts. “And how long have you both known, huh?” you demanded, inhaling deeply.

“Your scent is….it resumed the same five days ago.”

“So, for five days, you both — not one but the TWO of you decided to keep this from me instead of being honest? Do we take part in lying now in this….whatever this is now?” Jake’s head snapped up at your last question, attempting to reach for you yet you declined, pushing his hands away while taking another step back. Both their tails swiveled in a distress-like matter as they stood to their full height, his more agitated and flinching from your shove while hers tried to keep steady, trying to contain herself from reaching for you. Hurt scrunched Jake’s face and his ears demolished at the sides of his head, and you deciphered their expressions in a second; never once had you denied their touch, and not having the privilege to touch you in this exact moment stirred them unwell.

“Angel, please lemme explain–”

“You need to stop telling her to keep things from me,” you snapped at him, then turned to her, “And since when do you listen to this idiot? My goodness, Neytiri!” you pause, trying to gather your thoughts, trying to compose yourself yet there’s a break in the octave of your hoarse voice when you whisper, “Do you guys even care about this? Is this some joke to you?”

Jake practically threw himself down on his knees before you, and in spite of your objections, both palms cupping your cheeks so very softly but desperately, and due to their size his fingers nearly curl around the sides of your head, soon falling over your shoulders. “N-no! We care about your wellbeing, it’s not some joke.”

“T-then why…why didn’t you say anything?” Neytiri, graceful even when in distress, crouched down, her legs ingeniously treading towards you, settling behind you and she slowly reached for you. A strangled breath left her throat and you realized she was neglecting her own stream of tears as yours were being swatted away by her fingertip the second they fell to your cheekbones. “We…we, your heart–”

“I didn’t want us hurting you like this, angel. Her as much as I didn’t want to cause you this pain.” Jake admitted, amber eyes focused on you when you looked up at him. “But, of course we…I did this anyway, and here you two are crying. I asked this of her, and I’m sorry. To both of you.” One of his hands reached to curl around the side of Neytiri’s trembling jaw. “I’m sorry.”

“You should’ve said something sooner.”

“Oeru txoa livu. (please forgive me)” Neytiri crooned softly, “My lovely girl, forgive me, forgive us for being skxawngs.” Her gentle kisses met your forehead, temple, your fluttering eyelids, then each of your cheeks, and lastly your lips. You allowed it, for the reason being that her lips – and his soft, hesitant touches – could perhaps be one of the few things to keep you anchored right now.

Of course, this result had been one not unexpected, nor was it unusual, for Dr. Mason had previously discussed the success rate of your procedure, providing you with statistics that were not the most promising. Despite this, you held onto a sliver of hope, reaching out for even a small connection between the two of you, in hopes to twine paths together. But faith was a funny and most curious companion when it came to you, remaining capricious and challenging, frequently draining and depleting you until you were left with little energy to fight back.

Jake looked at you with much rounder eyes, the misery within them finally seeping through your heart and sighed before reaching for him, and planted a very light kiss over his mouth in terms to ease him up. Though the emotion remained on his face, his ears stopped finicking and slightly twitched the very same time his mouth did so.

“Oel tsun fìtsenge ( I am going home. )” Neytiri’s hand captured your own negligently and stood up. You looked up at her honey-like orbs, and while tears still resided in both your eyes, you recognized what could be seen as relief in hers. Relief that the truth came to the surface despite the cost of sadness. “I will come with you, ma Y/N.” You smiled a bit and nodded, about to take a turn in leaving until Jake’s own hand tightly grasped yours and Neytiri’s. It was as if Jake’s entire being was intricately woven into the quivering grasp of your hands. As you gazed into his profound eyes, you could sense his fear growing. He was afraid that if he let you go without following you, he may never lay eyes on you again. It was an irrational fear, one that he surely knew deep down, but his mind was clouded by emotions. The moment he saw you both in tears, his rationale vanished. The tears that continued to stream down your face were a result of his deceit, and he could not bear to see you in such pain.

He gave both your hands a tight squeeze and a wobbly smile, “I’ll come home too.”

Once greeting and bidding the babies a good night’s sleep and Mo’at – giving her daughter a look that indicated a proper talk – took her leaving, once resided in the comfortable size of the hammock and enwrapped in their long limbs, you forfeited your body to them, and resentment fled from you. To be sincere, most of the whole time, resentment was not all directed towards your wife and husband ( though yes they do manage to frustrate the living hell out of you sometimes ), but most of it was pointedly aimed at yourself; your body, but most of it pointedly aimed at your so called strong heart.

Neytiri’s arms were fully encased around you, her lips sweetly falling over your temple over and over again as she rocked you in hopes to provide you with nothing but comfort, wanting only to bring what you always brought to them; peace.

Jake said nothing as his arm splayed over yours and Neytiri’s waist. His silence brought you to tilt your head up at him only to see he’d already been staring down at you. Reading Jake’s expressions was one you did with pride, and yet tonight you couldn’t fully unravel what was going on in that head of his. But a warmth washed his features for a moment before kissing your forehead, and it was then that you allowed your words to exhale up your throat; “I want to try again.”

Neytiri smiled softly down at you and gave you a firm nod, while Jake simply hummed and stared up at the night sky as he tucked your head beneath his chin and pulled Neytiri closer, both unaware of the single tear gliding down his cheek. “Like Neytiri said; your desires are our desires, angel.”

Months in Pandora carried on an atmosphere filled with prosperity and peace after the First Pandoran War, the war of Pandora, the RDA-Na’vi conflict, or the Time of Great Sorrow, as the Na’vi titled it as. And while mourning those whose lives had been lost to the Sky People came with a heavy process, now was a time to thrive, to live, to celebrate the new life given to the Na’vi. 

The wondrous news of a seed of life planted within Neytiri’s womb had been taken as a gift from Eywa, any child was of course, yet this was the first birth indicated after the mournful events, and this was a token for the dedication the People stayed firmed to for Eywa’s child, Pandora.

“What does a fortress mean to you, Tiri and Jake?” She laid beside the two longer figures, her hand enveloped one of Neytiri’s that laid flat over her slightly swollen stomach, Jake’s atop theirs as well. Her eyes admired Neytiri for a while, then turned to Jake and both, too, admired the human in return. It had been months after going into battle with the RDA’s people, and the three — the strong, enthralling bond now revealed from the exterior of their hearts and shun brightly upon the ancient lights of Pandora’s deep blue sky — decided to spend their celebration together, a silent prayer for those lost to the destruction and chaos brought upon them, a silent prayer being said to Eywa for gifting them this moment of life and peace. 

Jake shifted to lay on his side, his other hand reaching the girl’s delicate side softly before moving to stroke over Neytiri’s belly, with the simplicity of making them tremble below his touch, creating the motion for a while.

Neytiri nestled closer, lips elevating when she led her hand and placed it over the human’s chest, feeling the rise and fall created, inhaling the curious yet addicting flowery aroma wafted through her, ears picking up the melody Y/N’s heart tuned. It was absurd to her, when she first heard the news of how her love was thought to carry a weak heart, and here it was; Beating loud and clear. “Fortress means a place of safety?”

She hummed in response. “Safety is one of the meanings of it…but there’s also a sense of strength. Protection. A place of peace for one. Maybe even emotional resilience. Refuge and stability.” She giggled at the sensation of Neytiri’s cheek nuzzling against the skin of her shoulder, head turning to press a feather-like kiss over the azure tones of her forehead. “I admire the way you speak of things, ma Y/N.” she muttered, pupils growing within those golden hues peering up at Y/N.

The girl had an approximate, clear picture of Neytiri’s face, of the way bioluminescent specks glittering the pretty clashes of her sky and imperial blue complexion, and all the respiration once provided in her lungs seemed to have been pummeled away the longer she stared. Y/N’s soft grin clashed with the neutral twinkles of her eyes, “And I admire having you here with me, my love.”

Jake was quiet the entire time before offering his own response, for while his eyes took in the two women that had become his haven, his mind too wrapped up in the plagues of the current battle against the Sky People, if what, who he’d gained in this precise moment could have been torn from his grasp. The what if’s led to losing Neytiri if it hadn’t gone right, the child in her womb, the condition Y/N had, the possibility of losing her. The death of Grace, his dear friend who once despised him and grew to love him and care for him and Y/N. The haunting of many of the warrior’s deaths because of this fight, because of his acts and leads. It taunted him, it nearly tried tugging him back into a darkness he’d once been in.

“Come back to us, Jake.”

Aching was his heart yet he didn’t project it. Not when his Neytiri’s fingers reached and gently stroked across the side of his scalp, soon threading down the cascades of braids fallen over his shoulder. Not when he witnessed the content emitting from the two laying beside him. Not when peace now resided in their minds and thawed away those emotions. Not when they looked at him with the warmest of smiles, waiting for his response. So, he continued brushing the pads of his fingers down their skin, and he waited for the inevitable shiver to ripple through them, humming in satisfaction from the way her skin prickled beneath goosebumps.

“Fortress is the structure of those who give you both peace and strength and refuge, right?” They nodded, he hoisted himself much closer to them, his long arm enveloping them both.

“You became peace, angel, that heart of yours became my peace,” Y/N shuddered beneath his touch on her neck, hues boring into his ardent golden ones and his soft smile. He turned towards Neytiri, thumb stroking the apple of her cheek. “When we first came here, you became our refuge and strength, Neytiri,” Her name was enough to indicate that nickname that solely defined her; goddess of nature. Endearing it was, the way it perfected from his lips as they gently pressed over hers.

“You two, you girls are the embodiment of what fortress means to me. And this little bean right here,” his palm flattened over Neytiri’s womb, a fatherly sense blooming within his heart, “Is a part of our fortress.”

“Ma Jake…” Her smiling lips parted with a slow exhale, gazing at him in gentleness, and Y/N couldn’t help but giggle bashfully at the way he placed a firm kiss over her forehead. He grinned at their expressions, enjoying that one feeling that always followed every time he left them flustered. “It’s true though. This right here, is a fortress. One without the other is just bound to fall apart, and I don’t ever want to experience that again without my girls.”

“Pray this to Eywa, Jake. That my heart has the opportunity to give us peace in this fortress. That we have even more purpose to push forward.”

He hoisted himself on his elbow and pulled the girl between him and Neytiri, reached for her palm, and extended it to Y/N’s chest, his hand soon following afterwards. Clamorous, wavering, yet full of life was the girl’s heart. “Give me your hand,” he instructed, and her dainty palm was led to Neytiri’s chest; unnatural, graceful, firm. He then took her smaller hand, and placed it over his own swift, wild, vigorous.

“You feel this, Y/N? This heart?” She inhaled deeply only for her to catch Neytiri’s scent mingled with Jake’s — musky, sweet, earthy, rain incense, him, her, him, her, them — her eyes darting between his before descending into his face as she nodded. “Mine beats like this because of Neytiri, because of you.”

“Mine in return wavers for you both as well.”

Neytiri resonated with a soft giggle, bashfulness flushing her cheeks and reflected the position Jake was in, laying on her side. “Our hearts, they are one, ma Jake.”

“Hell…yeah they are.” He breathed out. The horizontal of her nose nuzzled with his, and a purr-like sound rumbled through his throat at the sensation, sighing in content when her mouth brushed over his cheek and her hand slid over his jaw while his own rested over her waist. Y/N could only watch from her spot between them, affection sprouting from her heart and spiraling throughout her body. That was until Neytiri pulled away slowly, Wide pupils colliding with hers and leaned in.

“seykxel txe’lan…” The flash of stark incisors gleamed, framed with the brilliance of a smile Y/N or Jake never thought to have seen at the beginning of their encounters. “Do not ever deny this heart’s strength. I have seen it, I have heard it. I have felt it. We feel her right now. She is and gives love, ma Y/N.” Kisses stroked over the girl’s skin. They shivered in the touches Jake now gave them both, each of them feeling an overwhelming wave consume them within the intimacy of this moment.

Breathlessly, the two beautiful women before him retracted from each other, and all he could do was stare. Stare, take in, and find peace and strength within it. Taking both their hands in his, a sweet kiss brushed over their knuckles; and that rascal was devious with his actions, letting his lips stray over the skin for just a second too long, tracing the way Neytiri’s stark incisors sunk into her lower lip, and Y/N could only squirm from the single act of affection.

He pulled Y/N into his chest, and Neytiri let out a laugh at the squeal from the girl until he too pulled her in his arms and he was adjusted between them now, his fingers climbing over their bare shoulders, their arms, thumbs stopping over the flesh of their cheeks. He stared in wonder at the way the colors of Neytiri identified with his own, at how Y/N’s neutral, flush tones contrasted with them beautifully before pecking both their foreheads.

Y/N shifted so her cheek now laid over his chest, while Neytiri’s head found solace beneath Jake’s chin, her braids brushing against the angle of his jawline. “So…are there any other purposes we’ll have forged in our fortress?”

Y/N’s head popped up, “Babies, duh!” Neytiri’s ears hitched at the word, shooting up to look at Jake with the equivalent of the sun’s bright rays, their flames combining and burning every ounce within Jake’s body as he liquified right before them.“That is a great purpose she has said. Eywa has been quick to bless us.”

He sighed and pressed them back into him, a hand falling over Neytiri’s belly. “Forgot how you two are so into those.”

“Ma sa’nok, wait no don’t say anything.” You told your mother-in-law as her palms rested over your belly while your eyes screwed shut, nerves jittering before her low chuckle filled your ears. “Wait, don’t say anything yet! Jake’s not even here yet!”

A tiny palm lightly smacked your cheek and your brows furrowed. “My baby Kiri, that hurt.” Another followed, and a squeal like giggle filled your ears making it impossible to not grin and peek at the baby girl in Neytiri’s arms beaming her little teeth at you. “Because you’re so cute, I forgive you.” you poked her cheek earning another squeal before closing your eyes once more.

Neytiri’s infectious giggles clearly reflected the sheer elation and boundless happiness that radiated from within you. “It does not matter if Mother confirms it, my lovely girl. It is more than obvious.”

“But how do you even know—”

“Pardon me, ‘ite,” Mo’at’s throat cleared from her current kneeling position, “May I remind you that Tsahik’s confirmation does indicate it.”

You couldn’t help but snicker at her tone of voice towards her daughter, hearing the sigh that followed afterwards. “Srane, Mother. Forgive me.”

Heavy steps and breaths filled your home, and it was then that you let your eyes open just to see a breathless, soaked Jake with little, giggling and soaked Neteyam bouncing happily in his arms. “I’m here! We’re here! D-did we miss it, did she confirm it already?”

Every woman present – including Kiri – could only stare at them in question as to why the two were brimming with water, Neytiri’s eyes narrowing at her husband. “What did you do to my son?”

He only waved her off, propping down beside you to drop a kiss to your cheek, then to Kiri’s, then to Mo’at who could only look at him bewildered, and lastly Neytiri’s. “Sorry, sorry, sorry – don’t worry about it, your kid is safe and sound and happy – look at baby boy,” he peered down at him with a broad grin and Neteyam only smiled widely at his mamas, reaching for you. “See? He’s fine – now what’s happening?”

“Y/N wants to confirm if she is with child.” Mo’at mused, thumbs tapping over the skin of your belly.

He groaned out a chuckle, and you threw him a glare. “Angel, you are pregnant.”

“But how can you guys know? You don’t know!”

He hunched himself forward until his mouth was ghosting over the shell of your ear, “We know your body, baby,” the point of his ear flickered against your cheek, “And this angel’s flawless body carries a baby in it,” he pulled back, a quirk between his brows and adjusted Neteyam in his arms as the little boy tried crawling over your laying body. “Well, technically it’s a little bean right now, not even a baby yet. It’s still forming, no, Tsahik? A brain, holes, eyes and nose, oh! Then a heart and–”

“Ma Jake.”

“Babygirl. I’m just sayin’, you’re pregnant.” He grinned widely, glancing at a squirming Neteyam and Kiri who was still in Neytiri’s arms. “Besides, these two constantly wanna be with their mommy Y/N and that means something…look at ‘em.” Kiri found herself free from her mother’s hold, perfectly crawling your way and laid her hands over your cheeks, curiosity shining those big golden eyes as to why you were laying down and her grandmother’s hands were on your stomach. And Neteyam, he simply rested his round head over your chest, cooing softly at you while the pink of his nose twitched as he gave you a gummy smile.

You couldn't help but marvel at the sight and the innocence of these precious beings. Their tiny noses, azure full cheeks, and fluttering eyelashes were all a testament to the beauty and perfection of nature. You felt her heart swell as you watched them, a feeling so overwhelming and pure that it brought tears to your eyes.

But you blinked them away, stroking their cheeks and sniffled, full of hope you glanced up at the Tsahik. “Well?”

Her mouth pursed and cheekbones hoisted, eyes glinted with joy. “Srane. ( yes ) Eywa shines upon you, ma’ite.”

A gasp hoyed itself from your lips, giving her a swift but tight hug and you grinned widely. “Tiri, Jake, I–I’m–”

“Srane, you are with child, dearest!” You sat up and watched how a sweet, exciting grin took over Neytiri’s lush mouth, the mouth you couldn't help but launch yourself too, uncaring to your mother-in-law’s presence who voiced an amused grunt and chuckle as she gathered her grandchildren in her arms. “I gather you want me to take these two out for a while?”

Jake chuckled half heartedly and ruffled his kids’ hair with a nod. “If it’s not so much trouble for you, please.”

She gave him a bow of her head, and stood up with the two in her arms. “Congratulations, Jakesully …take care of her.”

She left, and he was met with the sight of his wives’ giggling with one another, you straddled over her legs as she held you close, both brimming with immense joy. He walked your way, his eyes locked on Neytiri’s smiling ones and you turned to look at him with that bright grin of yours. “Jake, my love.”

“Angel…” He crouched down and firmed his hands to the ground as he leaned closer to your face. Your eyes darted between each feature of his as he reflected your own actions. He then plummeted when you jumped over his abdomen, tilting back under the firm pecks being met with his nose, his cheeks, his neck; his fingers winding over your hips, smoothing the skin there, and his smile lustred with delight. Delight that increased its rays when Neytiri settled beside him; delight that was a response of you and hers, for both were loved immensely by him, and that love would only increase within this fortress forever. It’s perhaps his greatest privilege yet in acceptance of this second chance, to provide love and protection for their fortress.

“We’re gonna be parents again!” Neytiri let out another airy laugh at your squeal, “Thank Eywa, we are!” and wrapped her arms around you once more to pull you into another sweet, much more passionate kiss. Jake smiled to himself, ears perked and let his lips fall over the toned juncture of Neytiri’s collarbone while his hand rubbed lower down your hip bone. The longer the kiss continued, the greedier his touches became, and the more your crave for them flourished.

“You’re gonna be a dad, Jake.” Lips, swollen and lush, blew out a sharp exhale when his long fingers dipped below your thin lower garments while his other hand teasingly curled around the length of Neytiri’s anticipating tail. “Apparently I am.”

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

“Okay, well…” Dr. Mason, brow creased in what seemed to be perplexed, and the way her tone carried awareness managed to augment your atmosphere; something wasn’t right. Something didn’t feel right. Ordinarily, her voice was one to convey tranquility to all doubts that assisted you the second you showed up for an appointment, but today, that tranquility had vanished, her words frail as if with one wrong term it would break without hesitation. “There has been…responses from your ultrasound,”

The persistence of this quietness spiked an abundance of hesitations and emotions consumed your mind into torment and propelled it to a precipice, plunging into a tumultuous river of dreadful possibilities. Both your spouses were able to sense the unpleasant adjustment in your state of mind.

“From the looks of it, no heartbeat has been ascertained. Now, I don’t want us to jump to any conclusions yet but–”

“No heart?” Neytiri’s curt voice interjected, an anger already detected and soaring from her while Jake only furrowed his brow as he processed this, and you didn’t have much choice but to let them do and say whatever it was as your mind’s thoughts consumed you whole. “How is there no heart? Tsahik said there is a child in her, and that more than enough proves there is heart. Your machine is wrong”

“What? There’s something wrong with the baby or…?”

“Look, sometimes a heart isn’t able to be heard this early in a pregnancy–”

“Neytiri’s mother said there’s a baby there.” Jake shook his head in unacceptance of her words, hand gripping yours tightly. “There was a heart there yesterday, and the day before too. Now you’re saying there’s no heart? That doesn’t make sense.”

“Sully, if you’d let me explain instead of constantly cutting me off, you would find me saying that this may not be what you think it is, which is a miscarriage.”

“Miscarriage?”

She nodded towards the confusion of Neytiri’s face. “Indicating the loss of the fetus from not developing properly.”

All that now recapitulated was that very word; Miscarriage. Your heart could not take this pregnancy, and this baby had to pay the price of your heart’s weakness. Your breakfast menaced to coil at the mere thought Of course there was another thing your body was unable to maintain. At some point your mind was inattentive, completely muffling the heated exchange between your wife and the doctor, Norm coming in to try and calm Jake down.

You gulped thickly, welcoming the throbbing pain it gave your throat, and let your feet guide you out of this small facility and into Pandora’s forest, though not without Neytiri and Jake tailing. “Baby, Y/N….”

You didn’t even bother to question how quick they reached you while Jake’s arm gate kept you from walking any further into the woods. “She hasn’t confirmed anything yet, angel, let’s–”

“J-Jake move– I don’t wanna go back—” Cold, hot, bothered, confused, shuddering under the coat of your perspiration and your cascade of tears. Neytiri had knelt down and cradled you to her chest, her own tears of frustration and grief spilled over her cheeks. Childbirth had not been one of easiness for the Na’vi, but never had this…thing the humans call miscarriage had ever happened. “Shh, seykxel txe’lan. Breathe–”

“Do not call me that.” you spat out with a strangled gasp, seething at those two words falling from Neytiri’s lips. “My heart gave out on our baby– how can you still call me that? Can you even feel another heartbeat?” Her hold on you consolidated, hand soothing over your head while Jake’s eyes squeezed shut and shook his head as he reached for you. “Just yours. And Neytiri’s, and mine. That’s enough for us.”

“How can you say something like that?” You backed away from his touch, and Neytiri too couldn’t help but pin her eyes on him infuriated and hurt. He couldn’t help but hastily turn to each of his sides, eyes searching and darting around for his wrongdoing. “Jake, we have lost our child.”

He could only frown at Neytiri’s words, and his heart was tugged on as your face obscured into her chest and tightened your arms around her. “Baby,” his tone was pleading and hushed, gently grabbing your shoulders, insinuating for you to spare him a glimpse of those eyes of yours. “Angel, I just want you to be alright…c’mere.”

You gave in and fell into his arms, not able or caring to conceal your tears. “I just lost my baby, idiot,” you sniffled, pushing your cheek against his shoulder blade. “I’m not alright.”

That night, an indescribable agony writhed up your spine and ruptured its way to your battered heart, seizing it, constricting the organ until a gut-wrenching wail relinquished from deep within your lungs, one that startled the children from their peaceful slumber, Kiri’s wails assisting your distressing chorus. It made Jake and Neytiri briskly emerge from their current position around you, peering down at you in alert then at the kids. 

“Neytiri.” 

“Srane ( yes ).” Neytiri’s warmth was hesitant to depart from you yet eventually did, and you briefly thought it was to go and calm Neteyam and Kiri while Jake grabbed ahold of your face. “C’mon angel. Talk to me, what’s happening?”

“Toilet…bag…outside…something.” were the only words you could muster out from the seeping torment pooling down your abdomen, and by the twisted look upon your face, Jake’s brows shot up and deftly gathered you in his arms before climbing out of the hammock. “Ma Jake, what is wrong with her!”

“She’s sick – Neytiri, get the kids out for a bit.” His jaw already quivered at the sounds writhing within your throat, holding you close as he settled down on the floor. She didn’t question him, lightly bouncing ‘Teyam and Kiri in her arms and gave you two a brief glance before she walked out of their home. He propped you over a seat-like log, letting out a shaky breath as he watched you, waited for you to say something, anything.

Your muscles constricted, coiled, assembling to split with each throat-rippling cry. The urgency of your bleeding intensified without limits as you sat on the ground with your head dipped down, tears streaming down your contorted face. Jake shifted before you, ears and tail flicking in distress as he knelt beside you, making every effort to comfort you, even though both of you understood that the intensity of your current ordeal was not easily appeased.

“What can I do to help! Y/N, c’mon say something! Lemme help you, please!”

Your eyes clamped shut, teeth gritting together, knuckles draining their color and you shook your head violently, giving him the answer of your refusal of help. “Angel…please.”

Expressing precisely what you desired from him proved to be a challenging endeavor. Although you simply sought his — your babies, and Neytiri’s presence, articulating this need became a formidable task. Jake, your protecting husband, grew restless, grappling with the fear of being unable to alleviate your anguish. As he knelt helplessly by, tears threatened to fall down his face but he contained them, and the weight of your bloodshed enveloped his azure tones. He bore witness to one of his darkest fears materializing before his eyes.

“What is happening?” Neytiri came into view, eyes alert and frantic, her arms discarded of the children giving Jake the notion they were with Mo’at. A soft gasp left her at the sight of you quivering and rocking yourself, Jake’s hand rubbing circles on your back as misery scrunched his face. “Y/N…”

“Tiri…” the broken whimper of you calling for her anguished her, and wasted no time in latching to your side, her fingers brushing away the damp curls pressed over your forehead, “Lovely girl…it is alright, we are here…” She didn’t care for the red tainting your skin, she gathered your small frame in her hold, carefully tilted your head over her chest and rocked you in her arms as you reacted quickly to grasp onto her. “I-it’s not comfortable…”

The passage of time brought no respite even with Neytiri’s hold on you, and your unease persisted for hours. Desperation led you to crawl out of Neytiri’s lap and onto the woven floor on hands and knees, seeking relief. Brief solace was discovered momentarily as you assumed a facing down fetal position, attempting to shield yourself from the relentless onslaught of your rigid uterus on your fortitude.

Jake had left to make a quick stop at the human outpost, upon your request for something cold to consume, maybe something similar to ice in the mini freezers they kept there, though he felt disinclined to follow your orders. He didn’t want to leave, but Neytiri gave him the assurance that you will be fine, that she will keep close with everything you did. He listened, of course, undoubtedly peeking his enhanced hearing in from the distance. You then requested for a bath while he was out to which she complied, hoping the water’s calmness would offer some relief.  A soreness took over, yet you welcomed the capacity of it, letting the saltiness of your tears combined with its droplets pelting your skin. You still trembled from its temperature, yet the act worked somehow.

Neytiri’s heart ached upon witnessing the moon’s glow over your bare, fragile figure practically sinking within the water. “My love…”

“W-where‘s Kiri and Teyam?”

Her mouth twitched into a tiny smile, striding herself towards you. “They are with Mother. They wanted to sleep a bit more.”

“ ‘m sorry for waking them up. And for disturbing your sleep, Neytiri.” Words, meek and muffled within your knees, were heard clearly by the Omaticayan woman who sighed in response, “Ma Y/N…” Your legs had now slowly disappeared into the water and you were seated up, round eyes glimmering with tears peering back at her as she settled behind you, her thumb reaching to dab away the fallen tears. “Never apologize for this.”

Her neck craned forward to softly kiss your damp cheek, then your temple before offering you a safe haven within her neck, your meek whimpers flattening her ears and your tears soaking her skin.

She held you, swayed you side to side, allowing you to crumble completely in her embrace, words softly encouraging you to let it out. “W-why does my heart hate me?”

“Ma seykxel txe’lan,” she whispered, eyes illuminating her own shed of tears, and permitted her heart to shatter into pieces at how you believed such things of your own heart. 

“I know I’m not perfect, but I try doing things right. Why is it never enough? Why am I not enough? Why is my heart not playing the part you call it? Be strong? I try to convince myself as much as you are that it is, but it’s not.” Shards were each syllable of your words, and you welcomed its scorching slices within your flaring throat. 

Once more, it made you contemplate your path with faith; was it not an entity capable of breeding only eternal misery? Hadn't all your engagement with it generated outcomes such as these? You accepted then, that it had never been a positive path at all, and your reliance on it diminished only from your own gullibility. 

Neytiri’s nose nuzzled against your cheek as she continued to hold you, and she cried for you, for the loss of your child. “You are more than enough. And your heart is strong enough to endure this, my seykxel txe’lan. Do not fault it, do not fault yourself. Eywa will and continues to shine down on you with just your existence.”

“Neytiri.”

She continued despite the protest in your tone, devoted to engraving her belief in your head. “You did nothing wrong. You are perfect as you are. I will not ever stop calling you seykxel txe’lan, because you are. My seykxel txe’lan, my perfect, lovely girl. No fault on you.”

Her lips fall over every part of your face, including your fluttering eyelids as tears once more kiss your waterline. Both of you felt another presence, and you shuddered out a breath when Jake’s body dipped into the water in front of you, encasing you and Neytiri between his bent legs. You peered up, being met with his gentle smile and amber irises. “C’mere, my beautiful girls.”

He was quick to pick up on the swaying Neytiri created around your frame, and his arms winded around her with your much smaller body between them, making it easy for him to hold the both of you and continue the slow sways Neytiri motioned. “May be a bad time to mention but…the ice melted on my way back, angel.”

Your whispered giggle against his neck made their ears flicker, mouths smiling softly down at you. “ ‘T’s okay…I have everything I need right here.” They held you like this until sunrise, the three of you allowing and welcoming every ounce of pain derived, and Neytiri continued whispering sweet reassurances while Jake stroked your skin until you fell into a deep slumber from all the blood, sweat, and tears.

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

12 months later

“My strong warrior, come here! ‘Teyam, come here!” You patted your thighs, beckoning the now walking 1 month old baby boy to run your way. He flashed you an adorable smile, little legs leading your way with each encouraging word. Though it seemed his sister thought this to be some sort of baby race, because she managed to speed those little feet of hers and land in your arms with a loud squeal as you lost balance and fell on your bum onto the grassy ground with her in your hold.

“My brilliant Kiri,” you laughed at her tactics, how her gabbling words filled your ears as she reached for your cheeks. “Sa’nu!” ( mommy ) she exclaimed, and threw her brother a cheeky smile when he caught up to her. “Kiri, kehe! Sa’nu!” ( no! Mommy! )

You grunted out a chuckle as both shoved the other to be in their mommy’s arms. The two were practically the size of a human toddler, but you still managed to prop them both upon your thighs and nuzzled kisses to their round cheeks. “Relax, you two. There is plenty of me to go around for my beautiful babies.” You grinned, and Kiri could only let out a ‘humph’ as Neteyam triumphantly snuggled his head into your chest. He had the custom to hold a look of concentration in those big eyes of his, always softening when he found what he was looking for and nuzzled himself deeper; it was a tactic you adored of him, a tactic that reminded you of his father.

“Good morning, my little one! It’s your mommy too! Just listen to your older siblings, fighting over me. Looks like you may have competition.” You cooed down to your stomach, glancing up at the way Neteyam pulled away and Kiri looked at you curiously. There was quite a difference to your stomach now within a few weeks, a peculiar, little roundness that bursted you with joy, and the hormonal shifts were noticeable, especially with the way these two behaved around each other and you.

“Sa’nu?” You brushed your fingers through Kiri’s bangs as she stared down, her little brows furrowed in question as she babbled down to the petite swell of your belly. “That’s your little baby sister or brother, Kiri.” You whispered excitedly, and her little mouth pucker brought laughter from you. You turned to Neteyam who had been awfully quiet, his big honey eyes squinting at you then at what his sister had now been babbling to. 

“Prrnen? ( baby ?)” He questioned, his tiny blue finger pointing and you grinned. “Srane, ‘Teyam. Prrnen.” His face carried a cute ponder-like expression, and a small smile broke out before his stomach propped over your thigh and laid a palm over your belly. “Prrnen!”

Neytiri, standing from a small distance as she prepared her bow and arrow to gather some fish, brought her gaze up to look at the scene before her, a warm smile decorating her features as her eyes twinkled in happiness. She had been longing for this, for you to be with child, and she was sure her prayers to Eywa had been heard, thanking her with every second for this wonderful blessing. Many complications and struggles happened over the months of course, and there were moments where she thought you perhaps were about to give up in fulfilling this lovely dream of yours, yet here you were, a heart happier and stronger than ever.

Jake was currently sitting over a rock in silence, and in his hands were a small blade and wood as he expertly dragged the sharp tool into it, shaping it into a figure for his kids. His locs, loose and wildly ascended over his shoulders, swayed at the head tilt he gave your way. “5 weeks. Ain’t it a bit too early to call it a baby?”

“Ma Jake.” Neytiri hissed, shooting him a pointed glare.

Kiri tore herself from you, giving your belly one final pat before wobbling through the shallow waters and towards her father. “Daddy!” He placed his items down and pulled her onto her lap with a smile. “Hey baby girl…right it’s too soon to call that a prrnen?”

“No, it’s not.” You rolled your eyes at his grumble, returning your focus on your stomach. “That’s your grumpy sempu ( daddy ), baby. He’s been grumpy for quite some time now, and no one knows why.” Your voice dropped to a mysterious whisper, grinning as Neteyam released bubbles of giggles against you. “But don’t pay him no mind, he loves you just as much as we do.”

She was unable to resist such a moment, and with that Neytiri placed her sempul’s ( father ) bow down, and rushed into the small lake, right where you happened to be seated in. “Yawntutsyìps.” ( little loved ones ) she crooned, a palm residing over your stomach while the other ruffled Neteyam’s dark hair. “Sa’nok!” She beamed that beautiful smile of hers, one that complimented her every feature and you hummed as she gave you a gentle kiss. “Ma seykxel txe’lan…”

“And this right here, is your other mama, strong and gorgeous Neytiri.” You grinned at how she stroked the skin, a hint of amusement shining her golden eyes at how you whispered sweet nothings to the life you nurtured within your womb. Engaging in conversations with your unborn baby became one of your cherished pastimes after discovering your pregnancy. You often found yourself speaking to your baby in the mornings or during moments of free time, despite Jake’s stoned expressions, the one he was doing in this exact moment as he walked towards you with Kiri in his hold, happily toying with the unfinished figure her father was working on.

Neytiri took part in talking to your stomach as well, and when Jake was present for it, you both always ended up with his sharp gaze on you, inspecting, the usual mirth coloring his irises completely washed away with the subtle glare he gave. It did brew some sort of uncomfortable feeling in you, but you or Neytiri never brought the issue up, and he never provided a reason behind it.

“We’re all very excited to meet you soon, right Tiri? Right Jake?”

Neytiri kissed your cheek, chuckling when Neteyam crawled into her lap but still kept his palm over your stomach. “Srane, lovely girl. We are very excited.”

A tiny smile flickered across Jake’s face as he crouched down beside you, balancing Kiri on his thigh. “I’m happy because my girls and kids are excited. If you’re happy, I’m happy.”

Water droplets had soothed beautifully down the flexing muscles of his large thighs right before your eyes, and something about him carrying one of your children made your insides twist. The subtle smirk you offered him was a familiar one, one that made his brow hitched. “You look nice.” 

“I’m glad you think so.” He muttered, releasing Kiri as she tried writhing from his hold to go join her brother. He took liberty in scooting and settling down really close to you, to the point where his chin rested over the top of your head. 

“Bet I could make you feel nice. With my mouth, though, of course.”

Neytiri, her cobalt tones shimmering delightfully under the sun’s peeking light, smirked at your act and words, picking up on the low groan rumbling in Jake’s throat.The way she stared at you made you stride your tongue over your lower lip and smile sweetly at her. “My pretty Tiri.”

A lust consumed those eyes as her face slightly flushed at the nickname. Neteyam found himself sitting beside Kiri in the water, and Neytiri took a chance in shifting closer, her hand reaching to grope the expanse of your thigh. She smiled, pleased at the way her palm practically enveloped your flesh, the way it sizzled beneath her touch, and she had to keep her canines from sinking into her lower lip at the sound you made. 

“Choose your words wisely, yawnetu. ( loved one )” she mused, and Jake’s hot breath fanned over the skin below your jawline, his own palm rested over your stomach and you shuddered. “Yeah, listen to our pretty Tiri,” his tone was mocking, and he snickered at how her teasing glower. “wouldn’t wanna do anything to harm it. Or that heart of yours.”

He pecked your flustered cheek before standing up and easily brought you to your feet as well and Neytiri gathered Kiri and Neteyam’s little hands in hers. “C’mon now, let’s go home.”

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

The Omaticayan people always welcomed and celebrated the cherishing birth of new life. New life unraveled new beginnings, a flourishing prosperity for their clan, and a gift from Eywa herself. Especially if that new life, that gift sprung from their leader, Olo’eyktan, once known as Toruk Makto, Jake Sully and his wife, Palulukan Makto, a warrior, Neytiri te Suli. The Na’vi were mystified when the new life didn’t come from Neytiri herself, but you, Y/N te Suli, and of course, they thought it had not been possible for you to birth one of them, yet you nor Jake and Neytiri knew if this new life brewing inside you will come out as one of them if you consider the options you’d taken. But the confirmation and approval of Eywa through their Tsahik alleviated those questioning doubts, and they had immediately wished to celebrate and honor this news.

The decision rested on their leader, Olo’eyktan Jake Sully, who, though initially hesitant, ultimately gave his approval, driven by a sense of obligation and devotion to Neytiri and you.

Neytiri retorted, her hands delicately rearranging Jake's thick dreadlocks, "You must don the customary attire befitting the role of Olo’eyktan, ma Jake." Jake, visibly frustrated, responded with a sigh, "I understand, but it feels so damn heavy!"

“That’s why your shoulders are so squared and strong though.” You took your focus off of Kiri’s hair who was perched on your lap and dozing off, and grinned over your shoulder. You watched as his current frowning face perked at your words. Once taming her husband’s hair and giving him a quick peck, she made her way towards you. Her chest covering radiated with vibrant feathers, harmoniously contrasting the velvety azure of her skin. Around her neck, a cascade of necklaces stood as poignant symbols of her familial ties, while her dark braids intertwined with an array of multicolored trinkets, creating a captivating visual tapestry.

"Would you permit me to do your hair, lovely girl?" She whispered against your lips, her fingers gently caressing the strands that frame your face. With a subtle bite on your lip, you nodded in agreement. "If it's not too much trouble—"

"Anything connected to you is never troubling," she replied, giving the subtle roundness of your belly a soothing rub, and you chuckled in response. As she positioned herself behind you, her skilled fingers meticulously parted and wove through the locks of your head. "Jake's influence is quite evident on you," you teased, causing her to giggle and roll her eyes at your comment.

"No one can surpass the original," Jake quipped as he playfully held Neteyam upside down, attempting to keep him still while putting on a necklace crafted by his proud father.

"Neteyam, stay still, boy. Calm your ass down!" He huffed, prompting Neytiri to hiss at him. "How many times have I told you to watch your mouth?" Neytiri's loud remark awakened Kiri from her nap, her hazy eyes and ears flickering. "Mommy? Sa’nok?"

"Shh, it's okay, my brilliant girl," you reassured, gently pulling her head back onto your chest. "Daddy's just being noisy right now." Kiri gave you a lazy smile before shooting her unaware father a glare and closing her eyes once more.

"Kiri, 'ite, wake up," Neytiri whispered to her. "After I'm done with sa’nu’s hair, we must go, okay? We must get ready for the festivity." In response, Kiri whined and dramatically sprawled herself on the ground, eliciting laughter from you while Neytiri sighed. "Just like your father, unfortunately."

His laughter echoed, a genuine sound that elicited a contented hum from you. It had been weeks since you last heard him laugh so authentically, and now you eagerly pursued the lingering echoes, entwining yourself in the lasting warmth it brought. And at this Neytiri’s mouth lifted, giving your shoulders a squeeze, already knowing how much this would please you, and her as well if she was to be sincere.

“We don’t have to go, y’know? I mean, being chief gives me the right to cancel so…if you aren’t up for it. ‘t’d make Kiri less dramatic and this one would calm down.” He crooned at the boy that curled in his arms, finger stroking below his ear to his cheek, and Neteyam’s sudden soft babbles filled the atmosphere.. He then stood in front of you, crouching down to gather Kiri in his arms, though not before pecking your cheek then Neytiri’s mouth, at this you flinched as you watched; the affection he gave his children or Neytiri shouldn’t stir any ounce of jealousy in you, it was absurdly irrational from your part and yet completely out of your control. By reason of the long while Jake had let himself hold, kiss, touch you for no long enough to lose himself in you like he usually would, and hurt resided in you at this.

“Syor, Y/N.” ( relax ) Neytiri’s words whispered within your ear, already sensing the spike to your heart rate. “Do not let him get to you.” Though reassurance laced her voice, irritation towards Jake edged it. You only sighed and tore your eyes from Jake; deciding to point your focus on your vitality contending against your contemporary condition of debility. An inkling of it possibly disrupting your night tormented your mind. “Just because you’re chief, marine, doesn’t mean you can go and ruin this for others. This is important, especially to me. You know this. Or are us and your people celebrating the coming of our child not important to you? That’s what you’re trying to say?”

He swallowed hard at the old nickname you regarded him with, but he rolled his eyes. “I think everyone present here knows that what you’re saying is nowhere near what I just or have been saying, baby. Or is it, Neytiri?” Both him and you fixated your gaze on the lithe woman behind you, brows jumping as her mouth formed an ‘o’ before releasing a laugh that indicated how ridiculous this seemed to her. “Ma Jake, do not ask me any silly questions, or to our Y/N right now. Settle your children down before Mother comes to help place your attire.”

Mo’at greeted each one of you, Neytiri assisting her mother in delicately but perfectly descended the traditional feathered piece over his shoulders, and Jake caught a glimpse of the smirk flickering yours and Neytiri’s mouth as the head piece tangled around his ears. But he said nothing, simply shaking his head and prepared for whatever was bound to happen next.

The night had already commenced to a vertiginous beginning; the loud rumbles of the drums, the chants, the brightness of multicolored lights, the People, the strained conversations. You’d think it wouldn’t overwhelm you the way it did considering this is precisely what you experience almost every night, and that overwhelm you carried had Jake tear away his entire attention from his People and fixated on you who’d been seated right in front of him, his jaw tightening in hence to contain the ‘Told you so’ sitting at the tip of his tongue. Neteyam and Kiri, sleepiness completely washed from their system and replaced with a bundle of energy as they squealed and ran around with the other children, and Neytiri had been engaged in a conversation with her mother that you didn’t want to interrupt seeing the serious demeanor they carried.

Fatigue settled deep within your bones and not even a whole hour had passed. You seeked for something, someone familiar among the dancing blue bodies, and you practically beamed when spotting dear old Norm, panting and laughing from the dancing he partook in, walking your way. 

“Y/N/N! What’re you doin’ here just sitting? You should be celebrating—” His brows crashed when he noticed your drained expression, your posture, and crouched down to gently place a large palm over your forehead. “You alright? Hey, what’s wrong?”

You mustered a small smile and nodded under his hold, bringing both hands to softly grab his own and removed it from your forehead. “Don’t worry, Norm. I’m good! Just a little tired, but that’s it.”

Norm had grown to become a good friend to both you and Jake, and he’d been very attentive to your health and supportive of your pregnancy, he’d been a listening ear for you when things got a bit fickle with Jake and Neytiri. So it didn’t surprise you when Norm was unconvinced of your feign reassurance, eyes shifting over to a rather distressed looking Jake as he towered over you from behind, hoping to gain some intuition of the situation. None was offered, at least not in front of you, and you glanced up to see the silent exchange between the two Na’vi men, something you were unaware of.

This infuriated you, observing the way they communicated so perfectly without the utterance of words about something that clearly involved you. You grumbled out an ‘excuse me’ before standing and making your way towards your little ones who’d been playing close to the expanse of the Hometree, both pairs of round eyes widening and smiling at the sight of you. “Sa’nu!”

“My babies,” you grinned, giggling when Neteyam’s arms loosely wrapped around your waist with his ear pressed against your belly. “Tsmukan.” ( brother ) he happily crooned, and Kiri’s brows furrowed as she shook her head. “Kehe. Tsmuke.” ( sister )

You laughed at the glare she gave the boy while he remained unbothered and simply nuzzled his nose to your flesh. “It is too early to tell if it’s a boy or girl. But either one, I’m sure you will love them very much.” Your hands fall over their heads when you knelt, lovingly stroking your fingers through their dark strands and smiling down at them, feeling an ease settle down on you despite the tiredness you felt. 

Neteyam must have sensed it, for he peered up at you with a look in his eyes you couldn’t quite make out as his ear pressed over your heartbeat. “Sa’nu…sleep?” He questioned. Damn was it that easy to tell?

“A little bit, my warrior. But I’ll be fine, don’t worry.” You reassured the boy. He made a grunting sound and glanced at Kiri before they pulled away to grab your hands, lightly pulling you near the tree’s surface, between the thick roots. “S-sit.”

Their actions left you a bit dubious but you followed them, slowly sliding down with a sigh and smiled softly at them. “You two are a blessing, y’know that?” They only settled down on each of your side and wrapped their little arms around you, soft babbles being exchanged with the two. 

Children may be clueless at times, but they certainly weren’t stupid, you thought. And if they were able to indicate what you felt, then it must be because it was clearly written in your face, and being able to settle down without having the eyes of the People on you brought down the waves of weariness, the verge of nearly collapsing.

“The…pregnancy is doing this to her, you say?” Mo’at’s voice, perplexed and firm.

The one responding afterwards was recognized as Jake’s refrain, strangled and raspy. “Yeah. She’s been trying to hide it, but we can tell it’s taking a number on her, and she’s not doing a damn good job at hiding this!”

“It is a child, ma Jake. You cannot judge her or the child too harshly now. But,” a sigh followed; Neytiri. “It is true, ma sa’nok. Every day, she becomes more frail … and we have no choice but to see her fall apart like this.”

“Perhaps we should let her stay here instead of going to the human outpost. It will do her good if I keep checking on her, no?”

“With all due respect, Tsahik,” Norm. “She has to keep going to the outpost in order to see if this pregnancy and her health are maintaining balance—”

“Yeah well, a fat load of crap that is to see if she’s maintaining balance.”

“Jake, please calm down. Besides, it does seem like a normal response from the twins in her stomach so she is gonna have to constantly come by—”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“What do you mean by twins?”

Silence ebbed, one of thickness and delirious, one that you felt from the center of your being at the revelation, yet your silence was otherwise. Not one, but two pure souls growing in your womb, you thought anticipatingly, though that warm happiness was quick to dissolve from the biting tone of none other than Jake. “What the hell do you mean by twins, Norm? You didn’t say this the other day. It’s not possible!“

“I…we couldn’t confirm it just yet. The ultrasound was iffy, and it took Dr. Mason some time to go through it until she realized it. think about it, though; the rapid growth of her belly, the way she looks more and more tired—”

“Yeah because that thing is draining everything she’s got!”

“Twins are not capable of happening for the Na’vi…it is a rare occurrence, yet a blessing—”

“But Y/N isn’t a part of the Na’vi, not physically. And this isn’t a blessing, this isn’t even supposed to be happening–”

“She wants to be a mother, we cannot deny her this. She is happy, you should be happy—”

“I am, believe me, I am happy if she’s happy, if you’re happy, Neytiri. But not when this…baby is practically killing her from the inside slowly with each passing second. Or what— you wanna lose her?”

“I never said that! But we cannot keep getting in the way of this dream that she wishes for so profoundly—”

“I don’t want her having this baby, there I said it.”

Silence condensed once more, and you have to take a quick peek to the children in your hold, both gratefully sound asleep despite the escalating tone of the others, and you have to raise a palm to your mouth in order to contain the sob threatening to hurl from your throat at Jake’s revelation.

“Jakesully. A child is a gift sent from Eywa, whether your wife is Na’vi or not. And It is up to both you and my daughter to support her, no matter your train of thought.”

“Norm, back me up here.” Nothing. “Neytiri, don’t tell me you want her having this thing, do you really want to lose her like this–”

“That thing is a child. Our child, children, Toruk. You can either accept it or not, but it will not change her mind, or mine.”

Inhaling deeply in hopes to find a steady pace to your racketing heart at the most expeditious pace, you gently shake the children awake. “Come on, we must get back to your mama and father.” Both Neytiri and Jake’s ears flicker at the sound at your heartbeat assisted with Neteyam’s and Kiri’s, Jake’s gaze flitting down to the two other beats that happened to be purely beating within your stomach. Mo’at, a firm demeanor upon her and Norm, looking down at the ground, said nothing as your presence was between them all.

“Angel, you alright–”

“I think it’s best I head back with the kids.”

Neytiri was the one to take you back while the Tsahik and Jake continued with the festivity, not wanting to abruptly call everything off and reassured the People everything was fine. 

When your beautiful wife sauntered your way, a final peer to the children who were sound asleep, with ease she settled you within the hammock, crawling in beside you and like all nights, she held you close; yet tonight was different, tonight was as if she had been hit with the realization of the very words Jake uttered; her hold on you was almost despairing, swallowing the entire length of your body with her prolonged one while her chest produced the deepest of exhales and clutched onto you. Gulping, you tilted your head up at her; honey-like orbs hidden beneath shuddering eyelids, her lips obtrude, and gentle words somehow found a way to soothe from their trembling act.

“Neytiri…do you want to have these babies?”

Her eyes nearly snapped open but settled for a gentle gaze, and you saw the way she immediately picked up on your usage of ‘babies’ instead of the singular word giving her the wretched notion that you had heard their conversation. She prompted a flicker of a sad smile and nodded while giving your cheek a light stroke. “My desires are your desires, seykxel txe’lan.” Firm, confident, sadness all molded into those words, and you wholly believed her.

Another question climbed painfully up your throat, one that was thrown out when Jake had finally made his way back with you, clutching you and Neytiri the same way she had; “Do you want to have these babies?”

You looked at him, and Neytiri’s eyes only fell shut when he stared up and laid his chin over your head. 

“We want what you want, angel.”

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

“May I speak with you for a moment, ma Tsahik?”

You entered her den, strides reluctant and nervous, and Mo’at’s gaze glowered curiously and slightly displeased at your usage of formality. “Now what have I told you about addressing me like that, eh?”

You released a weak chuckle, muttering a small apology as you walked her way. “I’ve been out of it for a while now, but again, forgive me.”

She smiled as you settled down beside her and nodded in understanding. “It is common with your state of being right now. Do not apologize.” You glanced at her in curiosity before it hit you. “I forgot you already knew.”

She laughed, “Tsahik knows it all.” Your mouth twitched before the corners pushed down. “I don’t mean that…” you inhaled sharply, “I overheard your conversation the night before. With Jake. And Neytiri. And Norm.”

Her smile faltered at your revelation but did not rush to assist any excuses to it, for she knew it was very much explanatory enough. “I did have…suspicions of it already before that talk, however.” she pointed out and then sighed. “I assume…that is why you are here, ‘ite?”

You nodded, and the herbs currently in her hand are placed down so she can provide her attention to you. “I am not upset with you, but I am upset with…”

“Jakesully’s words?” She questioned and you nodded. Mo’at, growing to become a mother figure within your life, was wisest as a voice of reason – partially for being Tsahik of course – and provided guidance when caring for yourself became too hefty, when your relationship with her daughter and Clan Leader had its difficulties.

She bowed her head as a gesture for you to proceed. “You know how much I’ve longed for this, for carrying my very own children, but you also have heard of the difficulties I’ve been having because of this longing given my condition,” Her hand reached to place over the palm that rested over your belly, smiling slightly at you. “And it’s difficult, yes. But…Jake is so apprehensive about it and Neytiri too worries, and I understand why, I love them because they worry and care for me.” Your fingers twitched, eyes gaining a glassed surface and sniffled “But I want this, sa’nok. And yes, you’ll be the first I’ll verbally admit to that I am exhausted almost every day, but that doesn’t matter to me! What motivates me is that I’m meant to carry life, these beautiful lives, that I’ll be giving Neteyam and Kiri more reliance, I’ll be giving Neytiri and Jake another to love wholly–”

“You will be able to birth and be someone’s blood mother.” You stayed quiet, rubbing soft circles over your belly and nodded. “Neteyam and Kiri are my children, and I know I am their mother as much as Neytiri is but…I’ve wanted to experience carrying a child, does that make sense? And Jake doesn't understand, Neytiri is supportive and I’m sure she wants this but I’m afraid…”

Tears have omitted down your cheeks, and both her palms now have raised to cradle your face. “Oh ma’eveng… you’re afraid she too does not want you to have these children.” You’ve had a challenging time grasping the conversation they had shared, and nodded your head. She gave you a soft smile, one that enriched the maturity of her features.

“They do love you very much, and I am sure you know that. I cannot speak for Jakesully in this case because I do not know the specific events of his life, as for my daughter…” Melancholy swarmed her gaze and you caught on to what subject was bound to be brought up. “A lot within her changed when her sister departed from us. Neytiri’s brilliance and precautions sharpened with the Sky People. She had sworn right in front of Eywa to not ever trust them again,” she chuckled half heartedly and you couldn't help but do the same. “But how I knew how much she enjoyed the curiosity always brightened when she and Sylwanin learned about them with Grace. And she tried to simmer it down, she nearly convinced me it had completely faded. 

“But then you and him came along, and that night you were brought to our village, I saw it again; that curiosity. Brimming within her, wrestling with the swear she had made. A fickling light Neytiri was. And I will admit, I was hesitant when I saw it, when it led to love…but you both brought something within her back to life. Neytiri loves you eternally. Jake loves you profoundly as well. Now, my daughter would never ask this of you, to not have these children; but of course she is afraid. And while Jake’s statements were rather harsh, his behavior, and her fear, are being driven by that love.”

“And I love them as well, so so much but I just–”

“However, that love should not hinder the act of you making choices.” she firmly stated. “Especially when it comes to your happiness, your mind, heart, and body. The very body that you have taken care of after many events of hurting. You deserve this, ‘ite. The Great Mother has rewarded you for your suffering, and you shall welcome it, no matter what they say.”

Stutters spewed from your mouth as you now sobbed within her hold. “B-but he said–”

“Words lie. Words deceive.” she reminded you. “Actions prove otherwise when it comes from here,” her hand fell to your chest, “ the heart. And if your heart desires a child which is not unnatural, then they will be easy to love. You desire this?”

“More than anything, ma sa’nok.”

She smiled, carefully dabbing away the tears over your cheeks. “They want this, despite the deceiving words. They love you, and want to continue this family with you, child.”

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

“Do you still love me, Jake? Neytiri, does he?” Not so far and not so deep into the forest, but far enough from ears to hear the seeth in your voice, far enough from eyesight to witness the tears rolling down your cheeks. Neytiri’s ear twitched at your words, mouth frowning as she crouched near you while Jake could only look down with a deep frown, purposefully avoiding your gaze.

“What is the reason for these words, lovely girl? Of course he still loves you–”

“Let’s ask the chief himself; Jake, answer my question.”

He snorted humorlessly, almost in disbelief. “Why the– why would you ever ask that?”

You pulled away from Neytiri’s touch and took long steps his way, innerly grateful for him sitting down on a rock otherwise you wouldn’t have any access in grabbing his face and forcing him to meet your eyes. “You don’t look at me anymore. You don’t smile, or you do but it never reaches your eyes. Not when you’re with me, or Neytiri whether she admits it or not. Do you love me now? Do you love her? Why–”

“Jesus Christ, Y/N! Why would you ever, ever question this! I have loved, still love, and will always love you and Neytiri and my kids more than anyone and anything in this entire universe.” Yellow and slight neon green like eyes bored within your own, and you had no control of the way air completely left your lungs. But it did not whatsoever efface his constant behavior, or the emotions you carried. “Do those kids include the two that are growing inside me right now?”

He huffed, looking at Neytiri to find some sort of exit to this exhausting and daily question of yours, but she stayed quiet. If anything, she looked and waited for his response in the same way you did. “If these babies make you guys happy, then I’m more than fine with it. Then yes, I want you to have them. What you want, I want–”

“Jake.”

He continued without looking at you. “Neytiri, I do love you so much, and again, if this is what you both want then okay– “

“Ma Jake.”

“...you deserve this and I care–”

“For Eywa’s sake, Jake Sully, answer her question! You have already admitted this to me, now admit it to her! Enough with the lies, enough with the silence, enough picking your way out! Answer truthfully because she deserves the truth from you,”

“Do you want to have these babies?”

The light contours of his nose flared at Neytiri’s words but didn’t argue nor respond. No words, no heavy breaths, no sound besides the heart of Pandora’s forest. Nothing and you were growing antsy because of it, nothing and Neytiri hissed because of it. Until, finally, his lips parted and uttered one single word; “No.”

Neytiri’s ears hitched at the harsh jitter your heart created, and she wasted no time in getting beside you. You let her grab you, but you did not tear your eyes from him. “W-what?’

“No.” he said more firmly, brows pulled together and eyes drenched in remorse and anger. “No. No. No!”

The end of Neytiri’s braids lightly whipped against your skin as she glanced to look at him when he stood, her eyes equally as wide as your own from his tone of voice. “You don’t want our children?”

“I can suffice with the other two. And not if it means we’re losing you. Not like this.”

Your hold on Neytiri tightened and as did hers. “Ma Jake, we do not know if we will lose her because of this pregnancy–”

“Stop, Neytiri. Just stop, you’re pointing out my lies and here you are lying and trying to convince yourself. You damn heard Norm, you heard Dr. Mason – her heart can’t handle it! If she can’t handle one, how the hell do you think she can handle two?” The muscles of his neck strained tightly as he hissed these words, brows curling down. “Or what – losing her doesn’t matter to you, Neytiri? You rather choose two lifeless children over our girl–”

She abruptly stood to her height and within a second, her chest was pressed against his. “I never, ever said that and you know this! Do not assume what I feel, do not assume what I choose!”

“You and I both know what’s going on with her body, you as much as i can feel the way she’s slowly slipping away and you’re on her damn side–”

“This is not about choosing sides, Jake! This is about life, the life she is having that holds apart of us–”

“And what about her life!”

You all were silent, thick and heavy tears rolling down both yours and Neytiri’s cheeks, becoming one with the skin beneath your eyes. He, however, contained them. He couldn’t break down, not now. “Y/N, you’re not gonna say anything? Not fight, not agree, nothing?” You didn’t, because you had already come to the terms of you departing and making peace with it. You were upset, angry at him, at her, at yourself, at your very heart. “You were the one to bring this up that night, Jake. You were the one who encouraged this, you convinced me and Neytiri so don’t forget–”

He threw his arms in the air, exasperated and let out a strangled breath. “And I damn regret it! Every day I think about it, and wish I kept my mouth shut. We were fine, we were happy just us; you, Neytiri, the kids, me, our fortress. That was enough for me, our happiness.” His voice boomed once more, and never once had it been that way towards you or Neytiri. 

Never did he want to hurt them, that was something he always feared doing and yet, here they were. Perhaps he was a coward simply blaming it on his conscience, simply blaming it on his heart, uttering a truth that was already known as a lie but continued to speak it. He knew well he was to blame; but he wanted to contain the peace, his source of happiness, of protecting, of giving him a purpose and fortress.

You tried blinking away the blur of tears and looked at Neytiri, “Do….do you have regrets? Do you want this? Or are you lying like him–”

“Never have I once lied to you, ma Y/N.” she ushered herself to you, hands grabbing ahold of your cheeks. “I have been honest, always. I do not partake nor control this skxawng’s words…but,” she inhaled deeply, her lower lip pushing out and her ears flattening in hence of her sadness. “I am afraid. I-I do not want us to lose you…yet at the same time, I admire the way you have accepted this, and as hurting as it is…I want this for you, for us, these babies. I support you, no matter what.” Her grasp grew desperate, eyes having the rarity of plead she’ll only show him, only show you. You recognized the fear of losing her peace, but you knew her words were nothing but sincere, loving but you knew she too felt remorse. “Trust. Rutxe ( please ). You must trust me–”

“I do trust you, Neytiri.” Your touch soothed, cradling her jaw and stroked her azure flesh with a wobbly smile before it fell, both of you glancing at a crumbled looking Jake. “Are you unhappy now, Jake? Are you unhappy with us?” your tone of voice edged, and the assistance of Neytiri’s golden orbs with your broken sparkling ones sliced deep into his heart. 

The length of dark locs upon his head fell to his forehead and swayed over his heaving chest, “I’m unhappy with the way you’re hurting. And I know Neytiri is being the better one here, but I’m sure that she feels the exact same way I do when we see you hurting; I feel like a part of me dies.” He lifted his head, and your own heart churned at the dampness surfacing those eyes. “I don’t like what those two are doing to you, angel. I don’t like hearing Neytiri suffer in silence because of this…I don’t like the fact that you’ll leave our kids–”

“Jake…”

He moved closer until he was kneeling over the ground, and reached out to hold his girls, to provide you both that strength of protection, of stability within your fortress as he often did, and Neytiri let him, you let him. She let him run his fingers through her cascade of braids as he kissed her forehead. You let him rest the expanse of his hand over your back and pull you ever deeper into his warmth and he soon kissed both your drenched faces, and for the first time in a while, he let his tears fall, tainting both yours and Neytiri’s skin, because regardless of everything that has happened, you yearned for one another, for that heat he provided, that security he carried and become one with.

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

The large holographic images displayed the very hospital you met Jake in, and among the myriad of images was that one ward, the one you specifically met him in. Never did he think he’d see this place again, even though he’s not physically there. It made the former marine’s insides stir with all kinds of emotions, smiling every so briefly at recalling all those memories upon those walls. He’d fallen in love with you, given her the very first kiss beneath those stark lights. He mentally thanked Norm for saving these old but very functional technology; ones that were able to seep through the memory of one and project them right before your eyes, and Norm happened to let him ( mainly you, since you’re mostly responsible and reliable to take care of such thing–) take it within the forest, just to show Neytiri.

“Here’s where we met,” he cleared his throat, glancing at Neytiri, then at you before staring back at the image. “Where I found out about her crazy love for babies.”

Your lips curled at his awkward chuckle, and took a step forward and near the picture; small bodies of babies that you remember as clear as day right there, picked from yours and Jake’s memories. You stood between the two Na’vi figures who carried both your other babies, and internally laughed at how it was now your shoulder pressed against his forearm. He even smiled slightly and welcomed this contact, knowing that despite there really being nothing special about himself, he had embraced the fact that his warmth, his need for a light to radiance in his darkness called to you, the very same way with Neytiri as well.

Neytiri’s eyes brimmed and her tail softly lashed with wonder, Kiri’s pure gaze brimmed with the same emotion her mother carried as well. She’s heard the way they’ve met multiple times, she’s retained the lovely memory by heart and understood Jake’s reasoning for the way he spoke of his past, of his disabilities and your condition. Jake’s trepidation did not go without acknowledgement nor understanding, because she too feared, she too fell into great sadness with the thought of losing you. However, she had something you’ve been contemplating with, something Jake seemed to have forgotten to have in their Great Mother; faith in your heart. In your surviving, and perhaps she was in denial, perhaps she too, like Jake, wanted it to be a wrong belief, but even her own mother, the Tsahik could not correspond to these unknown outcomes.

So she couldn’t evict the hitch of a crestfallen smile when you grabbed ahold of both their hands, not tearing your eyes from the motions of the pictures; the little babies she recalled you saying were very tiny compared to the Neteyam and Kiri, and questioned without looking at either or: “You would put my own life above the ones growing inside of me, marine? And would you, Neytiri, rather me alive than the ones bound to live under the will of Eywa? Please, be truthful.”

Jake’s smile softened at both the nickname and kept his gaze on you and so did Neytiri. Mesmerization played a powerful vehemence within the three of you, always directed fairly with the other, both admiring the captivating beauty etched upon your frail complexion, and Neytiri now understood why he called you an angel, what was the purpose of an angel; you fulfilled the word, you gave it meaning.

“Without hesitation, I would.” He responded, and all you knew this response wasn’t one you entirely wished for, and her hand tightened around yours. “Under the will of Eywa, I would.” Never would you or Jake pull Neytiri from her trust in Eywa, you respected this. And all this holding back, the lying, it was tiring for the both of them, and Jake wanted to affirm his belief within both your minds that you both matter to him, that he cared in keeping you both safe, alive, but overall happy.

Your head bobbed softly at their words, the device around your body soon shutting off with your silent command. Jake found himself crouching down to the ground with Neteyam in his grasp, a move you once took as silly and pitiful for them both really, but now it didn’t matter. Not when he found himself drawn to you, reaching Neytiri’s other hand and motioning her to bring herself and Kiri down as well. “You both will choose me.”

“I will forever choose my fortress.”

Neytiri huffed out a breathy giggle as Kiri’s fingers brushed over the ends of her braids to the tip of her ear, and Jake along with you grinned softly at the sound. “And I choose my fortress too, Jake. And choosing my fortress means choosing to let these little ones live. I choose to add onto the foundation of my, our fortress.”

He watched as you peered down to your belly, he watched as Neytiri smiled warmly with her irises swarming with both affection and sadness, and he inhaled deeply as you spoke; “Y’hear that, my other babies? I choose to give life to you both…but I wish for you guys to forgive me because that may be the only thing i can give you,” Both Neteyam and Kiri had writhed their way out of Jake’s and Neytiri’s hold, both their little frames seated between the circle their parents had created. 

A watery chuckle spewed from your throat when their wide eyed stare pointed your way and crouched down in front of them, their little blue fingers spreading over your tear stained cheeks, “And I wish for you two, my brilliant Kiri and my warrior Neteyam, to forgive me too…” Your palm lifted to ruffle the growing strands upon your baby boy’s head while the other cradled the fullness of Kiri’s cheek. “But I hope you guys promise to take care of these two babies here, and that you grow to love them as much as I do, okay?”

A barrier of tears warped Neytiri’s eyes, chuckling when the two laid their little hands over your stomach and grinned widely. “Prrnen, sa’nu! Prrnen!” Jake’s touch against you firmed, his throat constricting from trying to contain his pleads, his cries for you to not go through with this. To stay, to watch your two kids already born, alive, and growing continue to grow, to learn, to live with you by their side. He didn’t say anything, only observing and grasping how meaningful this was to you, how his kids already accepted their future siblings, observing and accepting how and why Neytiri chose to agree with you, how she maintained her firm support for you; because she wanted you to believe that your heart was capable enough to do something grand;  seykxel txe’lan. And she wanted you to be happy and fulfilled with your heart. It was not hers nor his choice to make, and it was then that he begun to accept the pernicious reality that this fortress will lose a major part that interpreted it a fortress, that his life, Neytiri’s life, Neteyam and Kiri’s life will outlive your own. And he didn’t dare to speak it aloud, so he only watched and took this moment in.

“Will you forgive me, Tiri? Will you forgive me, Jake?” Their hearts tethered at the timidness of your voice.

Neytiri reached for you, long arms tangling around you as she pressed soft kisses across each part of your face, letting her tears mingle with the ones over your cheeks, “I do not need to forgive you for anything,  seykxel txe’lan. I desire what you desire,” her mouth fell over your forehead, “I choose whatever you choose, lovely girl.”

Jake then kissed you, pouring it all into that one kiss, fingers delicately but firmly grasping your flesh as he drank you in in this precise moment, not caring to hold back in front of his kids who had already seemed occupied with the unique nature surrounding them, and you could’ve sworn you heard a sob among his breaking stutter as he pulled away and let his forehead cover your own. “I choose you. I just choose you, my angel.”

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

Jake greatly detested coming back to the human outpost just for check-ups; your check-ups. Not that he detested knowing about your health, but he generally detested hospitals, doctors, anything that had to do with machines, the feedback, wires, tubes. He knew he was inexperienced in this field, but he, equally or more so Neytiri, despised these human machines more than anything. Which is why when the time finally came, they had Dr. Mason and Norm come to their Hometree, with of course your permission given this was your procedure, and assist the Tsahik, your mother-in-law to help with the preparation of your said labor.

Though he’d been a bit stubborn to this, you, Neytiri, Mo’at, Dr. Mason, and Norm had convinced him to agree. Neytiri too had been…thickly stubborn at allowing Dr. Mason in, she wanted you to partake in the natural birthing process of the Na’vi, but after hearing the precautions a pregnant human must take, let alone one with your condition and carrying twins, she reluctantly accepted this as long as she was present within the room.

“You are very calm, ma Jake. It is worrying.” Neytiri pointed out, and his pinned down ears flickered at the sound of his mate’s voice and eyes fell over the weak strain of your smile. He matched your expression and let his gaze focus on the interlace of Neytiri’s azure fingers delicately wrapped around your ringed ones, letting the sight stir his stomach and let his own hand rest over the both of yours. “I’m calm because you both are. But Mason and Norm aren’t here yet and it worries me that they and Mo’at–”

“Do not make her anxious, Jakesully,” His mother-in-law had interjected in a low tone and he turned to see her giving him a firm look as she prepared for the coming events. “They will be here in time.”

“Right, right, right. Yeah, sorry.” His head bobbed with each word, knees pressing into the ground. “Supposed to be a supporting and loving husband, not some commanding chief or marine, I know–” Neytiri’s lips pursed to contain her slight smile, and both stared down at you as a giggle bubbled from your chest. He, Jake, was enamored with the sight of them, of her, of you in this second, especially in this second given the circumstances. Your perseverance was admirable to both of them, and while Jake wished to be like you, he also wished to be like Neytiri, have more of her support and cooperativity.

He watched as you gave Neytiri a smirk, those gentle eyes illuminating as always and your voice dropped to a whisper. “Commanding chief, huh? And a commanding marine? Tiri, my love, that doesn’t sound bad now, does it?”

Your jesting statement caused Neytiri’s eyes to roll, yet their gold hue softly enlivened and warmed. “Srane, ma Y/N. It is an interesting idea, is it not, ma Jake?”

Once more; perseverance, support, cooperativity, commendable in his perspective. You for creating jokes at a time like this, Neytiri for going along with it in hopes to ease the tension accompanying them all, to ease the torment assisting their minds and unwind the wires of anxiety around their hearts. “I love yall so damn much.” he sighed out.

“You influence us, ma Jake. You are what you say, rubbing off on me.” She grinned at the way your head perked up and laid your other hand over his forearm, “Baby, that’s another good one! Wanna rub off on us, Jake, my protector?” He chuckled softly, and just when he was about to respond, a very late Norm and a very late doctor and what also seemed as two more scientist / doctors walked in with two other Na’vi males assisting on each side, just as guidance and precautions under Jake’s order, departing with a firm nod of his, and his lips portrayed a tight stroke with a puncture between his brows. Norm mouthed a ‘sorry’ while Dr. Mason greeted you all, including the Tsahik. 

“We only permitted the doctor and the other into our home,” Neytiri frowned, shoulders narrowing as she eyed the female who squirmed under her inspecting gaze. “Again, we need as much help as we can get in here,” Dr. Mason informed, settling down in front of you and put together the minor equipment she carried, every Na’vi present in your atmosphere grimacing at the sound they created.

“Look at you, round and ready to go,” Norm mused and you rolled your eyes at his remark but smiled nonetheless. You, well your belly was incredibly round, and incredibly large for its size to carry two babies. Then again, these babies may not be human to which is why your labor was to be taken with attentiveness and caution, not wanting to harm you or them, yet if needed, with your permission already, you’d already accepted the harm that would be delivered to you. “So…do we have any questions before we continue with this process?” 

Your hold on your wife’s hand tightened, your hold on his arm tightened and your face portrayed the subtle strokes of sadness and anguish. Both knew the meaning to this, and Neytiri’s lashes fluttered rapidly and softly spoke to you, reassuring and loving, while Jake chose to zone out for he did not want to comprehend it and let the Tsahik, Norm, the other docs, and Dr. Mason continued with your mates present.

It was when the beeping sounds of the machine spiked and blocked away his thinking and blinked him back to reality. It was Neytiri, her eyes livid and tormented as she stared at Dr. Mason and her mother, yelling in their native language while Mo’at deeply frowned and tried to respond with a firm voice. Shouts, frantic movements from the others. He wasted no time in launching to your side and grabbed ahold of your hand. 

He was too distressed, too agitated to comprehend the grasp of their Na’vi language in this case. “Someone tell me what the hell is going on! What is wrong with her— Neytiri!” If he weren’t so caught up in his booming octave, he would have noticed the flash of pain across your face. Neytiri, however, did, and stopped from helping her mother with this procedure and rushed to soothe you. “Ma Jake, mawey.” She hissed quietly, then let her palm fall over your jumble by chest. “ Ma seykxel txe’lan. Strong. Breathe. We are here…”

Jake’s ear flattened at the jitters of your heartbeat and whirled his head towards you. He let his own hand, quivering, laid over Neytiri’s and your eyes, those beautiful eyes, frantic and desperate gave them the notion to go into your breathing practices. “C’mon angel, I know, I know, baby. C’mon, jus’ breathe for us…”

All efforts were meaningless, hopeless, faithless and he was on the point of collapsing in a void while she tried grasping onto that hope, that faith for the three of you.

“Mo’at, the babies’ heart rate is lowering. Y/N’s heart is too fast right now and so is her blood pressure,” Dr. Mason’s lenses fogged up, the agony unclear to her eyes with a determined press of her lips. “We have to do a C-section. We have to cut one in order for both the babies to live.”

“We do not partake in such things—”

“Neytiri’s right, no—“ their protests were cut short with a rise of the Tsahik’s pointer finger, yellow orbs disappearing under closed eyelids for just a second before they reappeared. “If that is what it takes, that is what we must do.” Neytiri wanted to scream, to yell that this was not their way, but she bit her tongue for she respected her mother’s word, she respected the Great Mother’s will. 

“Jake, Neytiri, Norm, I’m going to need the three of you to step out—”

“My daughter is to stay.” Mo’at interjected and pointed her gaze at Neytiri. “If you are tsakarem, if you are to be Tsahik, you must stay.”

Your panicking eyes slightly eased at the knowledge of one of your mates being here, but you needed them both in this moment here, with you despite those words. Words that Jake and Neytiri despised, words that would rather go ignored than complied. They both promised, he promised he’d be there and yet here he was, outside the Tsahik’s hut, hurting and breaking his promise.

“Strong heart, angel. Use that strong heart, y’hear me?” were the final words he said, sharing a deep understanding with Neytiri’s irises before giving her hand a comforting squeeze before parting his way from his wives. 

He could simply surge himself in, with no one to stop him. He was Olo’eyktan, he was the People’s leader. Who were they to stop him? Sure, Norm was here, but his lanky strength was no match for Jake’s. But he knew you would not like this, you wouldn’t want him to act against his support and Neytiri wouldn’t approve especially, and it was not in his book to disappoint his girls once more. So he decided to set his nerve racketing behind on the nearest surface, and allowed his ability to feel, to hear his angel’s wonderful heartbeat try and soothe him, the hear his lovely Neytiri’s enhanced heart twine and support your own; if he couldn’t be near them, the very least he could have is the abnormal rhythm of your two joined heartbeats.

“Relax, Jake. She’s gonna be fine.” Norm, grunting as he settled beside his friend, reassured, and let his arm fall over dense shoulders as they both sat a good distance from where you resided in, and Jake couldn’t contain the shaking exhale that left his churning chest when his baby boy and girl ran their way into his arms; as if they felt his distress and let their father nuzzle himself into their little frames.

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

“It’s been over 24 fucking hours—” Jake’s eyes cautiously peered down at Neteyam who had his head resting over his shoulder, the damp feel of his saliva proving him to be asleep from the gentle bouncing motions Jake created. “— and they still haven’t said anything!”

Norm — having a curious Kiri who fiddled with the strands of his hair and odd human clothes in his arms — sighed in front of him because of course, Jake was not only impatient but overly dramatic at times. “First of all, it’s been at least over 60 minutes since. Second, stop being so antsy. She’d want you to be calm right now — Y/N’s strong.”

He rolled his eyes at his remark and didn’t care if Norm smirked slightly at his tactics. He only cared about you. “Just be patient—”

“I don’t care about damn patience! I want to know what’s happening with my wife!” His yell awoken the boy in his arms, causing him to groan and stir awake with a silent whimper while Kiri could only babble loudly — possibly angrily — at her father. “Shh…shh, Teyam. My bad, baby boy.” He crooned, patting his back and bounced him once more. “Daddy’s being a pain in the ass right now…”

“Jake, I don’t know what’s bound to happen but—”

His ears hitched, focused on a melody that he could not manage to detect and he strongly shushed Norm. “H-hol’ on….something’s wrong.”

“Jake, what’s going on—

“Quiet.” Fear clawed at his chest, and Norm frowned at the way Jake slowly strided forward. “I, uh, I can’t…I can’t hear—”

Neteyam’s head lifted and both men stared between the boy and Kiri as they looked at each other, their pointed ears creating the same motion Jake’s had done second ago, a quiet whimper leaving them both before they out of nowhere started to thrash, to cry, to whine in their hold. “Woah, woah, hey, Kiri, calm down—”

Neteyam writhed, he grunted, little fists pushing against his father’s chest as his nose scrunched up. “Sa’nu!” Sa’nu! Jake’s heart dropped to his stomach at the boy’s call for you. He pushed the boy into Norm’s arms and let his feet march him to the faint inhales you mustered, the weak thumps your heart created — yes, faint, yes, weak, but still existent enough for him to know you were alive. But now, he didn’t feel, he didn’t hear the combination he knew, he memorized. 

He ignored the cries from his children, he ignored the calls from his friend, he continued forward with a blurred vision without a care for the world around him. All he could hear now were the mournful cries that up to this day pitted him with aching guilt, the cries he was responsible of before; Neytiri’s cries

The woven curtains to the Tsahik’s tent were roughly pushed aside, and it startled the two other human unknown nor uncared for named doctors present in the room. He didn’t give them any care, not when his eyes panned over the spot you once laid on the fabric covered ground but now you rested in the desperate and softly swaying cradle of Neytiri’s arms, and he held back a whimper; at least he tried convincing himself you were resting. Tried convincing himself that Neytiri’s tears were all but sadness, that they were tears of happiness, of such proudness for what you had just done. No one pushed him out, no one stopped him, yet no one needed to because his feet, his body froze.

You looked as if you were in a peaceful slumber, yes. That’s what you were, simply sleeping, simply trying to catch your breath and process the immense strain you've experienced. That’s what he tried to cement in his mind, that’s what he tried to tell himself because no other option could be accepted.

Yet he and Neytiri had both seen, had both memorized the many occasions you’d fallen asleep in their warmth and he tightly held onto the indulgence of believing the definition of your state was sleep. He had mastered the structure of everyone’s heart within his fortress; and now there was a pure structure that had been torn from it, from existence.

Neytiri’s gaze lifted from your frame and collided with his own, those golden eyes immersing in tears and without his volition, he took 5 steps forward and looked back down at you. Motionless you were; drained of complexion yet body drenched with your own blood, devoid of life. Your heart was lifeless, your chest unmoved. No breath animated your being, and in the absence of ascent, there could be no descent. Though there was an ascent — the ascent of Neytiri’s wretched cries — and for that ascent came the descent — Jake’s descent. He had been unaware of his hard fall to the ground, right beside Neytiri, right where you were.

“Angel, baby, c’mon,” He whimpered, trying to block away the way Neytiri’s sobs tore him apart as he grabbed you from her hold, large arms carrying you, shaking palm grasping your washed out face, inspecting those features that remained angelic, that remained with a fading light he desperately tried to keep from seeping through his fingers. 

“Y/N, open those eyes for me, y-yeah? Those pretty eyes—”

“She…She is with Eywa now, ma Jake.” 

Months after holding back, after swallowing his pain and tears, those whispered, broken words erupted into a miserable yell of your name.

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

Jake’s conscience had been tormented with the many deaths he’d been responsible for. He carried that misfortune with him always, he had embraced that responsibility and let it continue to shadow him and he never pushed or numbed it away because he was deserving of it, to the point that if the time came for his own death, he’d more than gladly embrace it.

But the death he would much rather not embrace in this life, in any other life, was yours.

To which is why he strongly chose to let numbness to its work within his broken soul. Numbness as he remained without lifting a single finger, without releasing a ragged breath or tear, sitting a good distance outside the Hometree, letting Pandora’s nature blanket him with apathy.

It was better this way, he said inwardly, to not feel. To suffer in his own agony in silence for if he revealed it, he would destroy the little peace he thought that was residing in his fortress. It was odd, the way the forest was silent. No chirping, no creek, no breeze. Just silence, a silence he accepted and let it become one of his smallest comforts. 

It only lasted for a limit however, and he huffed out a sigh as the subtle to rapid little steps amongst the soil filled his ears before the ones they belonged to could come to view. “Daddy!”

A smile, forced and exhausted, strained the corners of his mouth as Kiri jolted into his arms. “Hey, babygirl…” 

“Prrnen! See prrnen!” He ignored her words by focusing his attention on her hair, lightly pulling on the braid fallen over her shoulder only for her to grumble at him.

A long azure figure, one he wanted nothing more than to avoid at this moment because he knew what she held, came to his eyesight; Neytiri. In her hand was Neteyam’s little one, the boy’s head fallen and gaze staring at the ground as they approached his father. Jake’s head tilted at this, noting the way his little ears were pinned back and a sniffle scrunched his pink nose.

“Neteyam.” The boy stayed quiet much to his dismay, and he frowned deeply.

“He has not been himself for the past days,” his mate, his wife, spoke up. He didn’t want to go on without acknowledging her, so his chin tilted to meet her golden hues — ardent and unreadable, but tinging the slightest of remorse. “You would know this if you paid attention to your son—”

“I’m not in the mood for this, Neytiri.” He knew he should have said that, he knew her words were truthful, but he only sighed, stood up before picking Kiri up and walked over to Neteyam. “Hey, ‘Teyam the mighty warrior…” the smallest of peers from the 1 in a half year old. Guilt panged his chest, knowing he’s well deserving of the little attention his son gave him.  “Want me to carry you?”

Nothing. Not until his little arms extended towards the air, a quiet ‘Srane’ leaving him. He now had both children in his arms and his cheek very slightly hoisted when they nestled into his shoulder, tightening their arms and legs around him.

Neytiri watched. She watched the way he interacted with them, she inspected the way his face softened when they provided him the comfort he needed in this moment, the way he inhaled deeply before staring into her eyes, and she knew and felt his grief. 

Grief was something not to mourn for long in their way of life. The Great Mother provided, created, nurtured, and she included taking in return. The birth of your children has provided for their fortress, and had been a blessing despite the taking Eywa had made — yet Jake could not see that. Jake could not accept it, accept them. He didn’t want to celebrate the twins’ birth, to which is why Mo’at and her had privately connected one of them to the Great Mother, unaware to him, he didn’t help create their songcords — he didn’t even spare them a glance from the moment they were in his presence. He didn’t even hear the name given, see what the pondering question everyone asked; if they were human, if they were Na’vi, if they had inherited your ability to breathe Pandora’s air, if they were healthy.

And it hurt Neytiri’s heart because she knew you wouldn’t want this, that you would be more than happy to celebrate their birth, to see their father meet, love and accept them. Hurt she was because he had thought he’s left Neytiri to do the mourning when she couldn’t even do it properly; she had her, their children to take care of.

When she caught onto the regret in his eyes and apology nearly falling from his lips, she saw how his gaze flickered to the squirming cooing sounds that came from the prrsmung wrapped over her chest, how Jake’s features hardening.

“You must meet—”

“Keep those things away from me.” He knew his harsh words sliced deep, and instead of feeling the gnawing guilt, he rather Neytiri felt the sliver of pain he wanted to avoid; he knew he was not being fair, and she knew this too yet didn’t say anything. “I’ll head back later. Leave ‘Teyam and Kiri with me. You go and do whatever it is you need.”

Neteyam huffed at his father’s words, as if understanding word for word and motioned to be put down. Reluctantly, Jake did, and he wasted no time in rushing towards his mama’s side, ignoring the look of surprise among Jake’s face. All Kiri did was tug harshly on her dad’s hair with a screech of his name but stayed in his hold.

And Neytiri said nothing, for Jake’s dagger of words had cut deep within Neytiri’s heart and she did not want to cause a scene in front of her children, so she simply nodded and turned to depart from him, leaving him with the only comfort of his little girl’s small embrace.

˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

Nights fell upon the mated pair with the same pattern — nights where Jake, despite his numbness, would still hold Neytiri to his chest in an unyielding grip with the only sounds being heard were quiet sobs — until that would be assisted with the wails of not only one but two infants, two he always dipped his head down and even shut his eyes to not spare a glance at them or the two cradles they laid in, and let Neytiri peel away from his embrace to check on them, followed by the babbled questions Neteyam and Kiri would make. 

Jake didn’t care about meeting them because they knew nothing of you. Sure, they came out of you, you cared for them when you held them in your womb, but they didn’t know who you were. Not how Neytiri did, not like how he did. You were theirs, their angel, their peace, and those two had gone and destroyed that peace no matter what his mate said. He didn’t understand why and how Neytiri could even look at them and hold them without the churn, the pain. Those two…things didn’t know you, they didn’t love you like they did. This was his and Neytiri’s loss and he almost had thought she didn’t care, but oh, how ridiculous and unfair that was on his part. He knew she mourned you, he knew she was just as destroyed as he had yet tried maintaining her ground for her — their children.

 Still, even then he found the babies’ cries unjustified.

But, to his dismay, there may have been a single thing those kids and Jake had in common; the sleepless nights. Wide awake he’d be while Neytiri would slumber against his chest, trying to drown in a dreamless sleep in hopes to ease her grief, and days carried out with his once well known bluntness and serious demeanor while attending to his duties as Clan Leader, his slight distraction would only be Kiri and Neteyam who, even though just little ones, seemed to have disagreed with his behavior to those siblings of theirs. He didn’t speak to Norm much, and conversations with Neytiri led to minor arguments that kept his mouth shut before he crossed a line. He considered and knew, just as he always felt, that everything he touched and surrounded him suffered. 

His little boy suffered. His little girl suffered. Neytiri, his wife, his mate, her unwavering love and balance she tried maintaining within this fortress, suffered. Those twins suffered. 

His chin was turnt to the sky and he swallowed thickly when he heard those cries soften into wondrous coos and whimpers, his eyelids falling shut to contain his tears. 

Tonight did not carry that repetitive pattern however. A good 30 minutes after Neytiri had emerged from their hammock, his movements started shifting out as well, his bare feet quietly hitting the ground, long legs slowly leading towards where Neytiri and little Neteyam and Kiri sleeping soundly on the ground near the two cradles, the cradles he, you, and her made together mere months ago. He stood a good distance away from the three — five of them, fingers tapping over the stripes and scars etched across the sides of his thighs.

“Sweet, beautiful girl. You poor child,” he heard Neytiri softly croon, “you only wanted to be with your brother…you have your sa’nu’s eyes — srane, you do.” He heard the break in her voice, the deep inhale following from her statement and frowned. 

A boy and girl, huh? 

He took another step forward, and it was then that he felt his heart drop at the sight of them; the boy was one of them — Na’vi, with a head full of dark and rebellious tendrils brushing over his forehead, bright round irises, but it was the little girl that shocked him the most. The little girl who was human — peculiar, neutral tones, and so utterly tiny as she was curled into the baby boy’s blue frame as his little hands so very lightly wrapped over her petite frame. Both were the same age, yet the size was clearly distinct and utterly astounding to him.

Jake shuddered when the little boy’s familiar eyes blinked at him, the way the little baby girl smiled faintly with the soft brush of Neytiri’s fingertip. He immediately thought how was it possible that she could breathe, how was she and that toddler size boy could’ve been in the same space within your stomach? How did he not squeeze that little girl in there with his normal Na’vi chunky size?

He didn’t move and stayed quiet for a long time until he sighed and knelt down beside Neytiri. “Hey.”

Her mouth lifted briefly but kept her gaze fixated among the babies, not uttering a word. His voice was rasped, his throat raw from the cries he’d swallow down, and before she could even feel sorrow for him she held her tongue and continued to softly speak to them in her language.

His mind was too muggled to understand right now, and she caught onto his shift of attitude with the way his eyes went round, the way a furrow pinched his brows as she watched him curiously interact with the babies.

“The human doctor had said it was impossible for both to have survived.” Neytiri muttered, and his ears flitted at her words. “But our Y/N was strong enough to hold them. To not let them die.” Her forehead creased then. “She said to keep them separated from each other. It could be too dangerous for her with the size of Lo’ak compared to her but they cry every time they are not together. L—”

“Lo’ak?” He questioned in wonder. Her lips pursed, “Lo’ak. A name Y/N loved very much. She adored the meaning of it…Freedom love.” 

He gave a small nod as his lips trembled into the smallest of smiles. Of course you’d like that. “A-and her?”

That is when Neytiri’s lips parted and he heard the way her heartbeat hesitated until it thumped its profound rhythm before she smiled brokenly. “Seyk’lan. The meaning of seykxel txe’lan  — Strong heart, because this little one right here, was very strong beside this big warrior.” She softly teased, fingers brushing over the boy, Lo’ak’s round little belly.

His chest tightened, and he felt overwhelmed at the new found knowledge of their names, of their meanings, and stared at them for a while. Jake planted his palms over his knees, his shoulders hunching as he turned to look at Neytiri, really look at her. The smooth royal contours of her face had been drenched stained with tears, those golden hues of her eyes flickered in a way that showed her struggle to keep their vibrance, and her lower lip fought hard to not tremble the way it always did when she was upset. Neytiri always said you had a strong heart and so did she when she was fighting to keep going for her kids, for you, for him.

 It was then that he welcomed the guilt to claw him inside, and he hesitated to reach out and provide her the comfort she so needed. Her fibers sizzled at his coming words, throat tightened.  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let you go through with this alone. Shouldn’t let you shoulder these two by yourself and shouldn’t take it out on you — I just….I didn’t…” tears evaded him now, and his head fell to try and conceal them.

But Neytiri’s forefinger lifted his chin and gave him a slight smile and shook her head. “You mourn differently. know you need time. And I will give it to you, ma Jake. I was prepared for it…for our Y/N to depart from us and yet…” her shaking exhale caused him to reach for her, palm sliding to cradle the trembling angle of her jaw. “Eywa has reason for all of this. I trust, I believe …. But no amount of preparation or trust can push the hurt that comes with losing the ones you love. W-with Y/N. But we must remain strong, Jake.” She breathed out and rested a hand over his leg. “For Neteyam. For Kiri. For Lo’ak and Seyk’lan—”

“Our fortress will always be broken without her, Neytiri. The pain won’t ever leave, it won’t be the same. I-I don’t want to forget this pain, baby. It’s only fair that I keep feeling it for us.”

 “The pain does not have to leave because it never will, ma Jake. You do not mean and you will not be carrying this alone,” His forehead kissed hers, channeling a warming love and soothing he desperately and finally let himself crave.

“Those kids won’t mean the same to me…” her nose feathered over his lovingly, and a sad smile graced Neytiri’s lips as his shaky breath met her skin. “Neglecting them will not do you anything to make you feel better from losing her. Carrying that hurt alone will never grant you peace of mind.”

Light croons and babbles pulled Jake’s attention, his temple now brushed over Neytiri’s forehead as he craned his neck to the single handwoven cradle which both laid in, and he nearly smiled at how both Neteyam and Kiri had stirred in their sleep and hazily reached to touch the babies. They cuddled into each other, little Lo’ak’s body hunched over hers as if hugging her. “What if I can’t accept them? What if I can’t bring myself to take care of them? I can’t disappoint our angel like that.” He shook his head as he stared back at her.

“They want to know you, ma Jake. You are their father, and I’m certain they want to know about her from us.” Neytiri’s words made his ears pique, at how she said they want to know about you, at how they must learn about who you were to them, to their fortress. His gaze bore into hers, and his voice dropped to a whisper. “And we’ll do this together, right? You’ll help me — and I’ll help you with them. Y-yeah?”

She released a wet chuckle, his thumb stroking away the tear over her cheekbone. “We will help and love one another because we chose to. Our Y/N made a choice; to bore our two babies, and she accepted it because she knew we would care for them, we would give them a part in our fortress, Jake. We have a choice. One that is not too late to make; to love them. They have chosen us.” Jake’s chest tightened as he reminisced about the first encounter, one of the first words you ever said to him and he choked out a sad chuckle.

“And this is the easy part, ma Jake,” she softly told him while entwining their fingers together. “Because they are easy to love…look at them.”

He did, only to see the two were already staring back at him while their much tinier hands were in the mighty Neteyam and brilliant Kiri’s little palms. Little Lo’ak smiled and babbled. “He has your eyes, ma yawne.” He grinned at the boy and then turned to Seyk’lan, the girl cooed softly at him, at her father, her tiny hand barely curling around his pinky. 

“Prrnen! ‘Lan and Lo’ak, daddy!” Kiri squealed, and Jake could only let a choked up chuckle out. Emotions spiraled within his heart as he got a good look at them; at Seyk’lan’s pure little heart in beautiful sync with Lo’ak’s, at the way she harbored your sparkling eyes with a sliver of a golden hue, at the way he formed a smile in perfect balance of his, Neytiri’s and yours. Eyes and a smile he now knew why Neytiri had grown to love profoundly, why she was called out to the same way yours had, eyes and a smile he thought he had lost forever. Those babies carried parts of you that embodied your angelic soul and features, and it was then that he let himself break.

With the help of Neytiri, he reached for them both, the baby girl, his other baby girl, frail and tiny in the way that you said; almost the same size as his wide palms. And the boy, his other boy, whines and Jake chuckled tearily. “I gotcha, kid. Ain’t gonna separate you from your sister, don’t worry…”

He cradled them carefully against his chest, held Seyk’lan’s tiny form with a single hand lovingly and an arm enveloped Lo’ak to give them the privilege to still snuggle against one another. He let a sob pour out from his lips as he held his twins, as his other children, Neteyam and Kiri settled down between Neytiri and himself, carrying a gummy smile. Jake’s gaze met his wife’s, and he couldn’t help but chuckle because she had been right. You had been right; choosing to love these two glazed with your complexion didn’t come with difficulty, just as loving you came with no difficulty. This hadn’t been the equivalence of the fortress he had in mind at the start with his girls, but he accepted the changes bound to merge within it, just as it did in life.

— ˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖

[dontfearrr]

Heard it through the grapevine

sorry guys i been so mia i literally have been in a weird funk but here’s a longer fic for u thrandy lovers and lmk if u want a part 2 maybe???

kisses to everyone, enjoy my elf sluts💋💋💋

Pairing: Thranduil x human!reader

Summary: reader keeps receiving gifts at her balcony, she has no idea where or who they’re coming from, she’s determined to find out…

Warnings: mild spicy content nothing crazy though

Category: fuck idk, fluff/hot n steamy?

Word Count: 2.1k

—————————

“strawberries and grapes this time!”

You shouted out to Tauriel who sat on your bed. She was just as intrigued with these series of gifts you’d been receiving. You both have been trying to narrow it down to who it could be, there was very few elves in this realm who spoke to you but the few that did, didn’t seem interested in you. So they were kind of at a dead end, yet the gifts never stopped.

You lifted the white basket off the floor of the balcony where they always were delivered, somehow unnoticed. You sighed and set the basket on the bed next to Tauriel as you both opened the note together. The thought of having a secret admirer was quite endearing, however it seemed a bit childish almost..but very intriguing nonetheless.

“read it out loud! i can’t do it!” you giggled as you handed Tauriel the note and she laughed with you, sharing the excitement. She cleared her throat dramatically and gave you a slight smirk before looking down at the note and she began to read.

“the grapes of the finest wine, the strawberries of the finest vine. for a woman oh so devine.”

She spoke out in a teasing tone. Your face heated up in embarrassment, these poems were always so corny, but who could be so brave enough to share them with you! “oh my, Tauriel..that is absurd” you laughed and shook your head.

You took the note from her and examined the hand writing, trying to get some kind of idea of who it could be! You thought for a moment, the gears in your brain turning ferociously until you tilted your head and looked at Tauriel.

“grapes from the finest wine…finest vine…Tauriel, arent these fruits from the private garden??” you spoke, picking up one of the grapes, it was bright purple, these were the grapes used to make the town wine. Tauriels eyes widened and nodded, they were in fact from the private garden! well this is something at least. “yes those grapes specifically are kept in the furthest corner, only very few people are allowed in that area” she told you, picking up the strawberries. “these are also from the same area. finest fruit indeed” she sent you a teasing wink and you just rolled your eyes at the elf’s childishness.

“are you able to get me a list of the people who are allowed to enter this area of the garden?” you asked her hopefully and she chuckled a bit, causing you to tilt your head in confusion.

“when i say very few people, i mean very few. grab something to write with.” Tauriel told you and you wasted no time scurrying off to find a quill and paper. Once you returned, you handed it to her and she began writing. you were nervous to see who was on that list, hands fidgeting eagerly as you hovered over her shoulder.

Six names were written on the list, this was amazing news. You snatched the paper from her hand and scanned your eyes over the list, it read:

Thranduil

Legolas

Lesysus

Elrond

Haldir

Aman

You were beyond perplexed. This list only made things even more difficult. The first thing you did was process of elimination. Elrond, he was in rivendell currently. Haldir, who was also with Elrond in rivendell….and that was it.. okay so six to four, not bad. But these were royal figures of the realm! There is no way any of these elves were even close to possible..

You looked at Tauriel who gave you a sympathetic look, she could tell you were stressing yourself out over this.

“do not dwell on it, my friend” she spoke gently, and you sighed deeply, setting the paper on your table and looked out the arched window of your chambers. “this was fun until now” you grumbled to yourself and looked down at the paper once more. “I think i’m just going to give it a rest, it’s clear whoever is doing this doesn’t want to be discovered so i suppose i’ll respect that” you told Tauriel and she quite literally laughed in your face, in a friendly way of course.

“i really love your optimism but we both know you’re not giving it a rest. just sleep on it, maybe you’ll get an idea soon.” she stood from your bed and gently rubbed your arm in reassurance before taking her leave.

You on the other hand, had a plan. A very determined one at that. You were going to do a steak out, spying over the royal garden! How incredibly stupid of you, but if the elf who was doing this was allowed in there, you saw no problem with taking a peek…for the entire night.

It was late now, nearly one in the morning, you decided it was a good time to go and spy on the garden. Tauriel had showed you a way to climb up into the trees to look down upon mirkwood, you figured this was perfect, that’s if you don’t get caught and probably executed. You chuckled to yourself at the thought as you threw on an elven cloak, putting the hood up and dressing yourself in your darkest garments to blend in with the night.

You may have been human but you had lived with the elves long enough to pick up on their gracefulness and swift movements. you swung from branch to branch, getting high enough in the twisting tree, maneuvering until you had a good view of the garden. You were crouched on a branch, quite high enough to go unnoticed hopefully. You hadn’t really thought through how long this would take but there was no going back now.

Three hours had passed by and your legs were beginning to ache so you moved to a simple sitting position, legs dangling off of the tree branch you sat upon. Your head snapped in the direction of the garden after hearing some noise, then you saw a shadow of a figure enter the garden. God damned elven sight, that was the one thing you didn’t have. It was simply too dark to see who had entered the garden, you were squinting and squinti-

“i know you are there, young one.”

A deep voice boomed through your ears and your eyes widened. They could see you? They knew you were there? This is ridiculous! Your mind raced but kept quiet until you heard the voice again.

“there’s really no use in hiding if i’m fully aware of your presence. come down. don’t be rude now.” the voice spoke again, you stared at the dark figure and sighed. Carefully jumping down the tree, landing on the top of the brick wall that separated the garden from the forrest then hopped down to the garden, standing slightly behind the very..tall figure. “i apologize, i was- i was…” you couldn’t even make up an excuse, you just accepted your fate at this point.

“you were spying on my garden? for a very obvious reason that is..” his voice was now VERY familiar to you, your face went white and your blood went cold. You’d just been caught red handed by the king. You watched him lift his arms and pull his hood down and slowly turn around to face you. He wasn’t wearing any kind of crown, not even a circlet. His white hair fell down his shoulders along with his hood and he stared down at you intensely.

“m-my lord.” You began to bow but he held up a hand, halting your movements. You obeyed and stood straight, looking at him.

“i see you’ve been receiving my gifts well. a curious one you are..” he said, a bit of amusement laced in his words. If he was being honest, he was quite impressed with your little idea, however he assumed it was only a matter of time.

“and please, call me by my name” he asked, stepping closer to you.

Your heart had fell all the way to your stomach, Thranduil was your secret admirer? this cannot be. you didn’t believe it for a second. That was until his hands reached up to pull your hood down, revealing you to him. “you are quite breathtaking, even in the darkness.” you could feel his index finger ghost over your cheek, the blood immediately rushing to your face causing you to blush deeply at his simple actions. The presence of the king was usually a lot more intimidating, but this felt almost..intimate?

“why me?” you asked quietly, looking him in his eyes despite it being quite dark, you were still able to make him out clearly.

He let out a low chuckle and dropped his hand back down, clasping his two hands at his front elegantly. “you think because you are mortal, that i cannot pursue you? i’ll have you know, i’ll pursue who ever i see fit..” he told her truthfully. He’s had a fascination for the girl for quite a while, though she had no idea of it.

He brought a hand up to your chin, gently lifting your face up so you can look at him properly, and so he can admire his sweet human. your face was warm and beet red, you were beyond flustered and truly had no idea what to say. “you wish to pursue me?” you asked him with a little bit of disbelief behind it and he simply nodded. God Tauriel would lose her mind if she seen what was happening! Your heart was beating rapidly, his touch felt like a dozen swans on a sweet pond. His thumb swiped over your jawline tenderly, causing you to take a step closer to him. He was more than pleased by this.

“i’ve desired you the moment i laid my eyes upon you” his hand was now cupping your cheek, his fingers threading through the hair behind your ear. “Thranduil..” was all you could muster up. He had you weak in the knees from a simple touch, it was quite cruel really. He absolutely loved the way his name sounded on your tongue, causing him to take a deep breath the calm himself down before he did something he regretted.

“will you have me?”

You placed a hand upon his chest, feeling his breath hitch in his throat as you did so. You slid your hand up, never breaking eye contact, feeling the porcelain skin of his neck as your hand continued higher, allowing it to rest on the back of his neck, your fingers nearly tangling in his perfect tresses. “i don’t want anyone else..” you told him and his caused his grip on you to tighten only ever so slightly. His thumb ran over your cheekbone before he dropped his hand, you were almost disappointed until his hand was now on your waist, pulling you against his own body.

Your body was on fire in this intimate moment, you were crumbling at his hand. He could tell you to jump off of the highest cliff and you’d comply without question. His head lowered down to your ear, his lips barely ghosting over your earlobe. “you keep me up at night, young one..” he purred, you could feel his warm breath against the skin of your neck.

You gasped at this and leaned your head to the side absentmindedly at his action, he took this as a delicious invitation as his head fit perfectly in the nook of your collarbone and neck. His lips connected with your skin, leaving open mouthed kisses to your neck, then unclasped your cloak, allowing it to fall to the ground. his free hand pulled at the material of your tunic, exposing your shoulder as he hungrily continued his sweet kisses to your skin.

“Thranduil please..” you breathed out, the torture was far too much. Your legs were trembling and you gripped onto his cloak as if he was going to disappear. “please what, my love? use your words with your king..” his voice was like smooth honey, melting into your ears delightfully. You wanted to cry out in agony, but refrained from doing so as his lips connected with your collarbone this time.

You couldn’t take it any longer, you gently ran your fingers through his hair and cupped his face, pulling his head back to face you, his eyes were half lidded and filled with lust. Your mouth parted slightly as your breath slowed and you leaned your forehead against his, closing your eyes for a moment. You could feel his breath against your lips, you felt this was too much and decided to take matters into your own hands and you closed the gap, his lips molding perfectly with yours. he gripped your waist a little harder, pulling you flush against him as he kissed you with hunger and passion. You tugged his hair, earning a groan from him and backed him up against the brick wall.

The king had fallen completely under your spell at this point, he was yours…

[simp-ly-writes]

The Silent Duke

─────── · · A Smosh Bridgerton/Historical AU

Pairing: Duke!Spencer Agnew x F!Reader (no use of sher/her pronouns)

─ · · SUMMARY: Your parents say you must marry by the end of the season (much to your horror) but what happens when a mysterious gentleman appears, what difference will that make of your marriage outlook when sparks fly and yet you are being paired with another- the mystery-mans best friend out of all people!

─ · · TAGS: bridgerton alternative universe, historical au, old-fashioned society, talks of marriage, hopeless-romantic reader, jealous!Spencer, fluff, angst, drama

─ · · MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQUEST | WORDCOUNT: 3,091

─ · · A/N: I am so unbelievably hyped for the next season of Bridgerton and for those who don't know what the show is, this is basically a historical AU.

─────── · ·

It was the start of the social season and you your parents had agreed you had wasted enough time having your head in books and your fingers stained by paints and inks that you should find a spouse (much to your horror).

You were scared. Scared to lose your independence of doing what you want, when you wanted to. Scared that you would have to stress about providing for others all the time and to worry over someone. You were scared that you would fall in love, whatever love felt like, with someone only for your heart to get broken when they go to court another; someone who looks better than you, has more polished shoes or sharper brains.

What if they could sing? Dance better? Would they have a laugh that sounds like rainfall and bells? These thoughts swirled around your head as your older brother and their wife sat across from you, you sitting in between your mother and father. You were surrounded by couples who deeply loved one another and you wanted nothing more but to find something rare like that.

But it was exactly that, rare, that stopped you from looking and getting your heartbroken in the first place. You dreamed in the novels you read of knights whisking away servants and queens falling for peasants but that was it, just fiction or for the lucky. And you always lacked luck being the second born in all.

Sighing to yourself, your clothes feeling too tight all the sudden as you adjusted your collar and gloves, shifting in your seat as your mother reprimands, "Stop moving, you mustn't wrinkle your clothes now, dear, we have appearances to maintain." You shift one last time with a nod. Your hands now forming fists placed atop your knees to stop yourself from moving about.

You swear to be hearing the string quartet already as grand grounds and an equally grand home come into view from the cobbled streets. Surrounded by a brick wall fence and iron gates that glide gracefully on the hinges, the whole property is well-maintained as a fountain with various fish spout water. You hold in a laugh while observing the bulging eyes on all of them, the owner must have a good sense of humour.

"Mama, I have not seen this estate before, is it a first for the host?" You question in a whispering tone, unknowing to how well the carriage blocks your conversation as you pull up to the staff awaiting on the front steps.

"Yes, it is the Duke's first time hosting an event, though Lady Danbury has been... politely reminding the Duke that he does need to host events with his title. You nod your head, curiosity ever-growing as you imagine a thousand men who would hold a title and not wish to flaunt it all around the ton.

You wonder if they have a spouse, children to fill these walls that you are about to enter. Are they young or old? Bright or simple-minded? What hobbies do they have? Why keep themselves hidden... what secrets do they hide?

In a world of your own you descend for the carriage, your father taking your mothers arm as they stroll ahead of you. You can hear your brothers wife giggling from behind and you do not dare to turn around. Instead following absent-mindedly behind your parents like a little ducking.

The halls are painted a wonderful forest green, gold accents appear tasteful but are not gaudy. The floors are a wonderful oak that warms the interior, it truly feels like a home despite the scale. As you continue further into the home, you pick out the simple paneling against the walls, the surplus of plants and trinkets rather than the beheaded animals or weapons you would think a rich man like this to hold against their walls. But none of it but gorgeous paintings and by reading the tags, all gifted.

For a man who does not socialize with the ton, they seem to be in well standings with many artists for them to gift such beautiful works. Soon you find yourself distanced from your family, so enveloped by the various landscapes and bizarrely, portraits of animals and the dukes friends. All of which you had never seen before.

Keeping your hands behind your back, to stop yourself from touching everything with your curiosity. You take to a side table, running long with the hallway. A book sits open with various encouraging messages and doodles in the corners of the pages that has you smiling before a light cough has you standing upright and at attention.

A presence now stands politely behind you yet just to your side. You can see their shadow casting over the book as you turn your head to be met with blue eyes framed by a thin pair of silver glasses. Curly brown hair draping elegantly over his forehead. His beard is clearly cut and self decorated in a simple black suit and white shirt.

Your cheeks warm, embarrassed to be caught snooping by this member of the ton as you take a step back and bow your head in greeting. "Good evening, It appears I have lost my way to the events hall," you voice, doing your best to keep your tone even and your eyes looking above his eyes, not being able to maintain eye contact in your embarrassment.

"Good evening," the man greets you back, extending their hand towards your own that you hesitantly take, unable to hide the surprise when they take your hand, gracing the back of it with a delicate kiss, that has your skin tickling underneath your gloves, "allow me to take you back."

You nod in reply, not trusting your voice as your hand is moved to their arm as they lead you back up to the hall. "I see that the decor has caught your attention, anything of note?" They make light conversation and you are partially thankful for them trying to ease you but at the same time, you didn't wish to speak, keeping your answers short and wanting to find your brother to hide behind like old times.

"I... I found it curious, the decor in how there are no portraits of the Duke yet so many of his friends and animals. I have not seen anything like it in the other manors I have been invited into." The man hums out, agreeing with your answer as you catch the corner of their smile. "Yes, very interesting how the Duke has no images of himself despite it being his main estate. Many appear to look past it but you observed it, Do you think it tasteless?"

You catch the hint of a tease but genuine curiosity matching your own, "I do not think it to be tasteless. I find it uplifting to see a nobleman not bragging their possessions, a trait hard to come by these days."

"Hard to come by yes but not if you don't look in the right places for it. It appears we have arrived, I wish you a good evening," the man places his hand on top of your own, gently removing it from his arm before turning back down the hall.

"Are you not joining in the festivities, sir?" you ask, hands clasped to your front with a tilt to your head watching as he stops and turns his head over his shoulder. "I have yet to think about that, but your presence will definitely make me consider." And with that he disappears behind another door as if a mere fragment of your imagination.

─────── · ·

The ballroom is a whirlwind of champagne, delicacies and delights as lace and linen twirl around the floor in various bright shades of nature to celebrate the early spring. You stand to the back, observing as the couples dance around the floor, skirts twirling and suit tails chasing after. You do your best to hide your dancing card in between your hands, the pursuit of finding a spouse still looming over your head, and that dread comes crashing down like a tidal wave as your mother bring forth a potential suitor.

"Child of mine, may I present to you Mister Tran, he comes from a family of businessman and traders, how wonderful is that dear? He is a polygot and even a world adventurer." Your mom brings your hands together as you bow down in greeting and he does the same, ending with a kiss to the back of your glove that has you not feeling the same sparks as you did with the man earlier in the hallway.

Mr. Tran appears tall and lean, he has long hair tied back into a bun. His eyes sparkle with mischief as he signs your dance card and adjusts his glasses, that similar slim silver that has your heart racing for some reason. "Pleasure to meet you," Mr. Tran speaks in a light even tone, "I hear you had a passion for literature, have you ever read in another language?"

"No, I have not had the pleasure of yet but I do wish to in the future," you reply, eyes casting over his black suit that hows small stripes of another material. His pocket square is nothing like you've seen before, "What design do you have in your suit-pocket there" you ask.

"Ah, this is from my dear friend Spencer. We both traveled to France in our early twenties, quite the adventure not meant for the proper ears here but we commissioned this work in memory of it." Mr. Tran leans down closer for you to observe the small french-styled buildings and floral prints embroidered.

"It is quite lovely," you finish with as Mr. Tran stands back upright. "I mustn't hold your gorgeous attention any longer. I'm sure many more suitors are wishing to introduce themselves but I do look forward to our dance later tonight," he parts with one last kiss to your hand as you stand there still, your mother put her hands up in a silent cheer towards you that you try and force a smile to your face as the next gentleman coves up and the next, and next... until your card became full.

Your heart dropped seeing not an empty slot left, that man from earlier still at the forefront of your thoughts as you got whisked off to the dance floor where you would spend the rest of your night filled with conversations of men ranting about their mistresses or trying to smell your hair with little that you could do.

Their conversations bored you, they hardly asked you a question on your likes or the things you studied, some even had the delight of saying you shouldn't have studies in the first place that put you in a great mood to say the least.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Mr. Tran asks, you freeze in his arms, blinking confused to getting recognition and that your partner changed. Your shoulders finally drop as he smiles down at you, pulling away for a twirl before coming back together. You think quickly for an excuse, "Just wondering where the Duke is, I have yet to see him tonight."

Mr. Tran hums in agreement but by the look in his eyes, you don't believe him to be truthful as you press forwards, "Have you seen the Duke, Mr. Tran?" you ask the only man you could consider to be in high standing with you tonight from his basic ability to hold conversation as a two-way affair alongside actually interesting hobbies.

"I have but I am surprised to know you are looking for the Duke, am I not to your liking?" Mr. Tran teases light heartedly, already knowing your answer after conversing with his friend earlier.

"Well, it is their event afterall, do you not find it curious that they do not appear to it?" you cut him off with a sorry smile.

"Well, from being in close standings to the Duke, I cannot say that this is not a common experience. He likes to keep in close company not these large social events not to his tastes," Mr. Tran explains as you both sway together, you catch a look from your parents and brother who all are encouraging you to smile more as you roll your eyes in their direction.

"I gathered that from his decor from earlier, though I do wonder where a man went from earlier. Say have you seen a shorter gentleman, glasses similar to your own with curly hair?" Mr. Tran does not do well to hide his smile or chuckle, a light coming to his eyes as he puts all the pieces together about his friend and you.

"Very interesting and very insightful of you to observe, I do know the gentleman you know to be describing, he is to be my best mate, Spencer."

"Spencer?" you test the name against your tongue as Mr. Tran's arms tighten around you, "Correct but I wouldn't say that name so outspokenly, you might receive more than a few looks for it"

"Oh! I do apologize, did they do something disgraceful- wait. That was wrong of me to consider, I do apologize, again," you ramble.

"No, he certainly is not disgraceful, I mean you both did converse did you not? He is a perfect gentleman except when it comes to his competitive attitude in sport, then he is not," you both chuckle at this, the music slowing as your eyes cast over his shoulder in the final moments of dance.

Mr. Tran holds you still as you stumble over your shoes when catching a familiar blue. Spencer, you learned his name to be casts you a wink and raised champagne glass as he observes you with a small smile that has your heart pumping as you cast a similar one in his direction.

"It appears you both have found one another," Mr. Tran teases, you both bow one more to end the dance before you are stepping around the crowd to see where Spencer had disappeared off to once more only yo be stopped by your mother as you huff in annoyance and try to continue forward but are sadly stopped.

"Mother, please-I" you begin. "My, you and Mr. Tran have truly made a connection with one another, we must see him next week for another dance," and with sunken shoulders you are lead out another door and towards your carriage.

─────── · ·

Spencer awaited in the room for your presence, he had not yet had a moment where you both could converse freely again without a thousand eyes staring back at your interactions. He worried that his title would come in the way yet again.

So he turned around, ready to greet you with a smile as the door handle turned open. Only for him to sit back in his chair when Mr. Alex Tran, his best friend came into the room. "It appears that my presence is disappointing to many today, how wonderful for me." Alex sarcastically comments while sitting across from Spencer, placing his shoes against the coffee table as someone comes over to pour both men a glass of whiskey. Both men commenting their thanks to the staff before they exit the room.

"Hm, might just be with that face of yours~" Spencer teases, holding up his glass for a cheers as Alex scoffs but clinks his glass nonetheless. "You're one to be commenting on face values, you are leading that poor man/lady on."

"I have no idea what you are on about."

"Hmm, well if you have no idea then you mustn't be interested in learning how much they wanted to learn about you once knowing we were friends..." Alex slowly turns his head to Spencer, catching as his eyes light up much similarly to your own. He knows that you both formed a connection in that little meeting within the hallway and he would not want his best mate to miss out on another opportunity like this.

"Well, all knowledge is good knowledge, do let me know," Spencer says, feeling around in his jacket for a cigar as he lights it in wait. Alex shakes his head with a smile, "Brother I say you are infatuated, would I be wrong in saying so?"

"Infatuated?" Spencer thinks aloud, blowing out a cloud of smoke to the side while staring up at the coffered ceiling. "I would not say infatuated but intrigued."

"Their mother introduced me to them, saying they are to find a husband by the end of the season. I do understand that they looked similar to our age but I did find it odd that with such elegance, someone did not swoop them off their feet earlier. And they really are quite intelligent and well-spoken, holding a love for literature and an interest in my adventures. I had never spoken to a woman/man with such childlike curiosity mixed with a mature understanding of the world and its functions." Alex recalled your conversations to Spencer, catching as his eyes narrowed in recognition for the dance you both shared together.

"I would say you should put your foot in the door so-to-speak. I may be finding a spouse like the other gentlemen by the end of the season. The lady/sir appears to be in high demand, their card was full as soon as they noticed they were available," Alex concludes, taking a drag of Spencer cigar. "I mean, I wouldn't mind marrying them, they seem in tune with my lifestyle," Alex imagines only to be kicked in the shin with a wince.

"I think our friendship may have to be called into question if you take away the first person I have taken interest in in nearly a decade," Spencer quips, taking the cigar back before loosening his tie.

"Well then, friend. I think you will need to 'step up your game' as the youth say. I overheard that I was number one on their dating card," Alex presses more, loving the look brewing in Spencer eyes as they both lean back in their chairs. "Well that really won't do," Spencer comments, shaking his head, curls coming undone.

"Are you saying the Silent Duke is finally going to be socializing like the rest of us in the ton? Not frolicking with their fellow artist friends?" Alex presses for a clear answer, his love of adventure shining through for the possibilities this could entail.

"You would stand correct."

─────── · ·

─ · · A/N: what did y'all think??? also sorry for the lack of updates, was on vacation.

─ · · SPENCER AGNEW TAGLIST: @lisiliely @missflufffanfics @little-stitious-studios @thejourneyneverendsx @sibsteria @lizzylynch1 @babble2 @delaneyburghardt @thevintagefangirl @uniquely-haunting @maricarorp

[cotl-flower-crown]

How and why did Lamb fall in love with Narinder to the point that they got married and had children?

Besides, if we consider that Narinder was evil and just wanted to use her to return to the world of the living.

TLDR: Slow burn, very slow burn

Feel free to ready the wall of text I prepared below

Angel (the Lamb) ever since they met The One Who Waits, was deeply devoted to him, so when it was revealed that he had plans to sacrifice them, they were devastated. It took them a long time to approach the Gateway, hesitant to fulfill their purpose, but when they thought they were at peace with their fate, Angel finally met him there.

Their plan was to negotiate. Perhaps if Angel pleaded with him enough, they would spare him, but they could tell from the moment he opened his mouth that he was not open for negotiation. But Angel tried anyway. They tried convincing him that perhaps there is another way to free him and if there is one they would be happy to do so. But what The One Who Waits saw was weakness, he saw fear in his vessel's eyes as they looked at him and questioned their faith in him. Were they not as devoted as they claimed to be? No, they doubt his judgement. Him! The One Who Waits Himself! Their God! Such blasthemy could not stand! He called The Lamb out for their cowardice and shamed them for their lack of faith. He demanded for the final time that they kneel to him, so the prophecy could be fulfilled.

But Angel could not do what their God has demanded. Even their deviotion had its limits. Through out the whole journey to free him, Angel was encouraged to learn to stand up for themselves, even by him. And now he's demanding that they ignore all their teachings and bow to him. It all felt so wrong. If they are gone, what will become of her followers, what will become of the scraps of Sheep folk's culture that they hold in their heart? It will all be gone, THEY will be gone.

They could not stand for that. With tears streaming on their cheeks, they drew an axe and pointed it in his direction. "I cannot leave yet" they whimpered through their tears. And so the battle begun.

As it ended, Lamb had no idea that The One Who Waits would survive this battle and yet, there he was, laying in front of them. A stature not taller then theirs, not even able to hold himself on his legs. But he was alive. Their prayers and hopes were heard. A wave of relief washed over Angel's body, and while they still felt betrayed by their ex-God, they didn't have it in them to finish him off. So despite his protests, they brought him to their cult. They would decide on his fate later.

When brought to Lamb's cult, Narinder felt many emotions. Anger, disappointment, fear even. Mostly anger though. He was angry that his vessel betrayed him, that he's stuck in the cult now and stuck in this weak, needy body that cannot even stand on its own. Lamb would help him get back on his feet and he hated that the most. How long would it take for the Lamb to change their mind and finish off what they started? In the best case scenario, he will be killed, free from this mortal body, but in the worst scenario, they will imprison him again. He could not read their mind anymore, he couldn't even read their face, shrouded with unreadable cold disapproval. It was both unsettling and annoying.

For many months Narinder was dependant on Lamb's help to recover his ability to walk. They would help him stretch, accompany on his walks in case he falls over from his croutches, they were his personal assistant in a way, which without a doubt Narinder liked to abuse. But eventually he would learn to stop it, as such behavior was not acceptable among Lamb's followers. They did not take kindly to him making their leader cry and Narinder will forever remember the day those people locked him in prison and threw rotten food and excrements at him. He also remembers well the night when Lamb came to him to clean off the waste off of his head and let him out of the stocks. He knows that they enjoyed watching him being served with justice a little, they told him as much, but he couldn't help, but help feel relieved by their mercy. It's not something that he would do, that's for sure. Supposedly, it was a good reminder that even if Lamb is not keen on punishing him, they have no issues letting the others do the dirty work.

Angel's grief passed soon enough, seeing Narinder's legs getting better. Witnessing him be able to stand and walk on his own, run even, was the most joyous they have felt for a long time. Still he wasn't exactly in the best shape, so the regular walks were still mandatory. Lamb didn't have to accompany him anymore, but they still did to Narinder's distaste. They would not usually speak much, but when Lamb warmed up to him a little, they begun to try and start a conversation. Though Narinder would usually turn those attempts down and challenge Lamb's attitude, one day he insulted how the cult looks, and when asked what's wrong with it, he couldn't point out specifics and stammered that there's not enough red candles. Lamb took it upon themselves to fix that issue, partially out of spite. Begrudgingly he allowed Lamb to take that win. (Narinder's first quest)

Finally the time came when Narinder was well enough to start working. Lamb assigned him to work at the farm. As he worked around with the camelia flowers he mentions Leshy, before he gets back to work. Time passes and Lamb comes back to bring him the flowers, straight from Darkwood. He expresses how he didn't ask for them, but Lamb could see past his exterior, see that they made him a little happier.

Suspicious of Lamb's intentions Narinder challenges Lamb to go to Anura and bring him mushrooms unscaved. Angel teases him a little before the travel and brings him what he wished for. Then as they talk more, Nari sends them off to Archordeep, wishing to see their crystal walls crumbled. And when that's done, he quietly asks Lamb to bring him silk from Silk Cradle. He waited by the entrance as the Lamb came back from the crusade and handed him the silk. And they brought him tea as he at last allowed himself to process the grief.

Narinder grew attached to the Lamb as there was nobody else he would think of as a worthy company. Although he did not consider them a friend, nor anything of that matter. It was hard for him to describe what his usurper meant for him at that point, but he couldn't help but follow them if he wasn't at work or asleep. They would discuss the common topics, like the weather, the jobs, hobbies and their own health. While he didn't seem to let go of his grievances with Lamb, they noticed that he wasn't exactly angry about them either.

One day Narinder witnesses a follower's death for the XYZth time and he grows curious. He hasn't been exactly a regular attendant of Lamb's sermons and he wasn't planning to be, but he realised that he doesn't know all the rites the Lamb and their flock performs as well as he wished he did. He approaches the Lamb, admiting his apprehensions towards them as worthy of the crown, demanding in his usual fashion that they show the legacy of the new God of Death. Lamb did not plan to bring anyone back from the dead that day, but they will not turn down his challenge, if that mean that they can make him eat his words.

They did not expect a genuine praise though. It felt somewhat offputting to see Narinder laugh and sound proud talking of them. They were put off guard by it and Nari didn't blame them. He was surprised himself too, to the point that had to take a step back, but it was undeniable, he was proud to see that his vessel is continuing what he started. Perhaps they have some wits in them after all. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to attend their sermons more often.

Time passed and while Narinder grew to get used to his new home, the more he stayed there, the more trapped he felt. The cult grounds seem a lot smaller once you learn all their nook and crannies. He was itching to see more of what was left of the Lambs of the Old Faith after the millenia of imprisonment. Angel excouraged him to do so, but at the same time, they were worried for his safety. The outside world is dangerous and Narinder was no longer a powerful god. While it wouldn't be impossible to bring him back to life, Angel did not want to see him dead. They eventually figured out that giving him a company to make sure that he's alive would make them a lot calmer about the expedition. They decide that they will send their most experienced missionary with him. Meanwhile Narinder and Shepherd (one of Lamb's most loyal followers, the leading farmer and the missionary veteran) shared another petty interraction, which this time ended in a fight that Lamb needed to break off.

Later, Narinder learned that him and Shepherd would be stuck together on a mission. He was vocally not happy about it but did not fight it. A human shield is always in value.

They get through their shenanigans and end up becoming friends.

When they come back, Narinder is injured and seems like it got infected, but he insists that he's fine. He stops objecting when Shep fistbumps his arm (very much intentionally) and makes Nari speechless. Angel takes Nari to the med bay, and there Nari thanks Lamb (the end of the final quest)

So, by the time the quests are finished, Nari and Lamb are kinda like friends. Acquaintances, maybe. After that, Nari spends his time either working, sunbathing or hanging out with Shep and/or Lamb. Him and Shep turn into bros, but he doesn't really know what to think about the Lamb. They're ok in his eyes.

As the time went by from then on Nari developed a vague fondness of Angel as a companion. He's not in love or anything tho. Meanwhile Angel develops a little crush on him. They think he's cute the way he is now and they enjoy spending time with him. They don't try anything with him because they don't want to ruin their friendship, but they get jealous when someone else shows interest with him and they may contribute to his dwindling love life.

More time passes and Nari begins to develop feelings for Angel. He's very dismissive about it and denies when asked, but Lamb knows and they are very fond of him at that point and really wants to say something, but doesn't want to jump this ship only to later learn that he's not happy. They made that mistake before and they don't want to pressure him into anything so they wait for him to make a move.

Meanwhile Nari tries really hard to convince himself and everyone around that he doesn't like the Lamb, even though he gets very possessive over Lamb's attention and jealous when they speak fondly with anyone else. He also wants to kill people who just happen to have a crush on the Lamb or those critical of them. He's not sure why, but he can't help it.

Even more time passes, and it finally gets through Narinder's skull that, yes, he is in love with Angel, and it's not a hex. He realises it after him and Lamb share a dance among the crowd and after talking with Shep about it. He finally decides to start courting the Lamb, but the way he wanted to do it was to give his life to them, aka stabbing himself in front of them and Shepherd was like "NOPE, how about you try the more casual ways of courting instead?". So he tries the gifts first. Gifts that consist of bones, snake skins and dead critters. Because cat instincts. Shepherd tells him to stop and try something else. After some trial and errors Narinder decides to just stick with his original plan.

He meets Lamb at night when everyone else is asleep and Narinder begins with confessing, then he pulls out a sacrificial knife and aims it at his chest. Lamb stops him, saying that they don't want to see him dead, but Nari argues with "how am I supposed to accurately show you how strong my feelings are if I cannot give you my life" and Lamb is like "do it by being by my side, not like this" and then Nari lets go of the knife and complains that now he doesn't have any plan B and Lamb proposes for him to "court them like a mortal" by sharing a dance together. Nari complains that there is no music to dance to, but that is easily fixed by waking up one of the followers to play music for the two. They share a lovely soft slow dance that ends with them kissing.

They end up getting married soon after that. And after some time spent getting adjusted to married life, they decided to try for children for one reason or the other.

And that's that. Slow burn narilamb beloved <3

[youremyheaven]

The 12th House in Astrology 🧜‍♀️🧚‍♀️ 🦋

(this can apply to both tropical and vedic placement of 12th house because regardless of the system employed, the energy felt and experienced is the same :-)

Most people have a lot of prejudice about the 12h and its energies. There is a largely negative portrayal of it in the mainstream astro community and very little nuanced discussion of the same. So, I thought I'd make a post exploring the 12th and final house in astrology and add more to the existing narrative regarding it.

The 12h is commonly described as the house of loss, liberation, isolation and decline

This house is said to governs misery, waste, expenses as well as divine knowledge, sympathy, Moksha (final emancipation) and life after death. It is also the house of detachment.

Now those are a lot of very contradictory terms. How could a house govern both loss and divine knowledge?

The 12th house and water houses (4h, 8h & 12h) in general are very complex and easily misunderstood. The thing about water is that it has no shape or form of its own, it takes the form of whatever vessel its poured into. another thing about water is that its the most easily polluted element. Water energy is one that must be precariously balanced because these natives easily absorb the influence of others (good or bad), this is one reason why the 12h is the house of "loss" because it truly is the death of the individual. you know those quotes about "i am an amalgamation of every person ive met, every book ive read, every song i loved...." 12housers are actually built like that.

being a 12h native can be rewarding because you absorb absolutely everything like a cosmic sponge but on the other hand, its very easy to lose all sense of self.

especially natives with 12h stelliums may often find it difficult to not take everything so personally. this is not because they think the world revolves around them but because its hard for them to separate themselves from others and their actions. they're personally of the type where everything they say or do is tailored specifically to the person they're interacting with. they may not even be aware that they're doing this, they pick up on energies almost by osmosis and guide their conduct that way. however they must realize that this is peculiar to them and is not something others are naturally accustomed to doing.

there is a reason why Venus exalts in the 12h. you lose all sense of self and give yourself completely to your lover with utmost devotion. love is sacred and profound to them, they will do absolutely anything for their love. which is why they have to be so careful with picking their partners. they have limitless capacity for giving but if you give to the wrong person, you'll be drained. when you merge with the right person, your cup never goes empty with your giving because your union satiates you completely.

if we were to think of houses 1 to 11 as a path of linear development, starting with the 1st house of self & identity and ending with the 11th house of friendship, community & legacy, then we will understand that after an individual goes through all these stages, the only thing left for them to do is seek liberation from this cycle; this is why 12h is the house of Moksha. once you've fulfilled your material desires, you will feel a lack in your life and the only thing left to do is pursue the path of spirituality. Moksha is however not given to one; one must strive for it.

this journey is a deeply personal one and liberation from one's ego and earthly pursuits is far from easy. no matter what these natives do, ultimately, they wont feel satisfied unless they've nourished themselves spiritually.

sometimes these natives may indulge in drugs or other substances to fill the void but as they evolve they will understand what theyre truly yearning for is the spiritual truth.

more often than not, these natives experience "spiritual awakenings" completely unprompted. god decides its time and it happens. much of their early life can be very dark and this "awakening" marks the beginning of a shift in their life. this happens in stages depending on the level of their spiritual evolution.

the 12th house is the house of isolation because what these natives experience is not something that others can understand easily. they are the most likely to develop psychosomatic conditions, simply because their energetic body is so susceptible to influence.

think of the vast endless ocean. can one individual possibly drink up all of that water? its absurd to even consider it. thats kind of what its like to be a 12h native. there's a limitless reservoir to tap into, the energy is so vast that its confusing and disorienting and you have no idea what to do with it. its very easy to be misguided as well. this is why its the house of decline. you have to constantly be on the look out in order to avoid the pitfalls, otherwise its easy to stagnate and easy to harm yourself.

There is a Latin quote that goes as follows:

"What nourishes me, destroys me"

This sums up 12th house energy pretty much. Its the energy of opposites and paradoxes. You need this endless reservoir to function, its the thing that feeds you but if you're not careful, it can also lead you to your own ruin.

Fun fact: Angelina Jolie has this quote tattooed on her. She is a Revati Moon. Pisces occupies the 12th house.

remember that Pisces' symbol is of two fishes swimming in opposite directions. this shows that the innate nature of these natives is to be torn between polarising energies and opposing forces. it is a balancing act to say the least.

these natives are easily misunderstood, simply because there is SO much to them. whatever you think they are, thats what they're not.

going back to the cosmic ocean metaphor, its easy to see how such abundance can feel like an excess and lead to misery and wastefulness. its simply a LOT to handle, not just for others but even for these natives themselves. this is one reason why so many of these natives tend to keep to themselves.

even the more sociable 12h natives often have an interior life that no one will know about, they have a whole another side to them that they keep separate, just because they want to assert complete ownership of this private side as something that belongs only to them and the other, more "public" side that they give to others.

these natives are the most empathetic and if you look at the charts of most "legendary" actors, they'll either have pisces/12h luminaries. empathy does not quite cut it, they can not only feel what others are feeling but embody it fully and experience it as their own. this is what makes them incredible actors. even non-actor 12h natives process things this way and often find that others around them are insensitive or lacking the same capacity. they do not understand why others don't feel as deeply as they do or understand situations the way they do. they find society at large to be very callous and apathetic.

a 12th house native is also capable of feeling apathy and absolute indifference but this is very selective; the 12h is the house of detachment because as it is, they're tethered to the world by a thin cord and are only very mildly connected to things. they're in this world but seldom inhabit it. another side to this is that they're wildly imaginative. although mercury debilitates in the 12h, it does not affect the native too badly, as they simply channel their thoughts into other forms. they are gifted at communicating abstract ideas and make excellent artists due to the same reason. robbed of any sense of what is "practical" or "realistic", they roam free in the realm of the mind. many abstract, surrealist and expressionist artists have either Pisces or other water sign placements in their big 3.

these natives live a life of non-being, as they're already so detached from everything, including themselves; this is not negative on its own and will manifest differently for different individuals; this can mean that they're extremely empathetic or detached to the point of inaction and passivity in extreme cases; they dont find a lot of things to be meaningful and its hard for them to apply themselves because of it. this gives us a glimpse of what life is like after death.

the 12th house also represents spirituality, introspection, foreign travels, hidden enemies, & the subconscious mind and it is the house of endings and undoing.

12th house natives are always intrigued by all things foreign, they feel like they do not belong to the place they're from and feel connected to cultures and people that are foreign to them. since they themselves feel like an alien or are made to feel that way, they feel naturally at ease in foreign places and cultures where everything is alien. they often settle overseas.

these natives court attention wherever they go, because the 12h energy is a very distinct and potent one. a lot of celebrities have it and its a very common fame indicator. due to this reason, they also attract enemies who remain unknown to them. these natives are seldom if ever, engaged in actual feuds with people and if they are, its usually for righteous reasons or because the other person started it. theyre wayyyy too peace loving and lowkey to pick fights with others. this is why they dont know who is speaking ill of them behind their back. they're always minding their own business and it surprises them that others are not doing the same.

everybody is guided by their subconscious and one major part of spirituality is to try and make ourselves more conscious. 12h representing spirituality (the cosmic ocean) makes even more sense considering its opposite (2 fishes swimming in opposite directions) which is the unknown, the subconscious. to be spiritual means to seek truth and to seek answers and swim towards the subconscious to shed light to it and understand it better.

lastly, it is the house of endings and undoing. 12h being the final concluding house represents the end of the cycle. when a cycle ends, the energy is of a complete transformation. only when something has reached completion can it come to an end. the butterfly does not emerge unformed but as a completely fully formed butterfly. the end marks the beginning. the 12h gives way to the 1h.

the creature in the cocoon was not a butterfly. it only became a butterfly when it emerged from the cocoon and to do so means loss of an old identity, loss of self, loss of all that you've ever known. this is your undoing. in order to become somebody else, in order to ascend, we have to be willing to undo ourselves. this is essential to any spiritual practice. we have to rid ourselves and our flimsy shell of identity in order to grow further.

for the same reason, 12housers are constantly transforming. they're the type of people who seem to have lived 10 different lives in one. be it their style, lifestyles, jobs, you name it, they're constantly undoing and transforming themselves. it seems to be the only way they know how to live. once theyve gathered all they can at one place, they outgrow it and change themselves almost entirely afterwards as they venture into something new.

thats it for now. i hope this shed some light on the 12h condition hehe<333

[withdenim]

I think it’s time I introduce my doomed ancient yuri to the ninjago fandom. I’ll leave the story under the cut if anyone wants to read it 💜 it includes my Wojira backstory and why I draw Nyad as oni

Wojira is the younger, less powerful sister of firstbourne, I think. Wojira and Firstbourne we’re both chill with Oni, but Firstbourne was more Reserved about it . Like, she didn’t enforce weird rules or anything but she also . Didn’t stop her kids from being really awful.

Wojira spent more time with Oni than other Dragons. Even her kids (wind and water Dragons) were sort of weird about it. She didn’t really like the sort of power hoarding attitude of the other Dragons and decided to teach them a lesson about it.

When the first master was born she realized that Oni blood COULD bear elemental magic, and she took in two Oni kids (Nyad and her brother who I made up and haven’t named yet lmao) and gave them wind and water (separately) magic. And the other Dragons were VERY mad about this. They thought it was disgraceful.

They tried to get Firstbourne to banish her . Firstbourne refused and so her kids just all worked together to banish her instead. And sort of gave her a fucked up cursed eternal headache (in the amulets) Whoops . Nyad and her brother followed Wojira into the realm of Ninjago and tried to ease her pain for years but eventually it just sort of broke her mind and she started laying absolute waste to everything.

The FSM goes through his whole story (still figuring out details of it in my headcanons) and comes to Ninjago, desperate for a new home. And Nyad and her brother (I really need to name them DIFNDKFM) are scared of him at first. But he shows them his elemental magic and they realize he’s like them (Oni with elemental magic). And they bond over that and tell him about Wojira. The first master decides to help Nyad convince the Merlopians and Islanders to resist Wojira and hopefully bring peace to the realm.

Over several months they become good friends, and they often calm Nyad’s brother by making beautiful little worlds out of their elemental magic for him. And the FSM promises that one day Ninjago will be safe like these worlds, and they’ll all be able to live there.

And these very very lonely people have made a little family.

Of course, the Oni hunters are sent to track down the FSM, and Mystaké is the first to find them. She announces herself and demands the first master return with her. He begs to stay just long enough to make this world safe for the people there, and she reluctantly agrees when they show her the safe world they’re planning to build. It looks beautiful.

Mystaké joins their efforts, hoping to speed along the process of the first master’s return to the first realm, but she finds herself amazed by their magic and (worse) deeply fond of the little trio. She falls in love with Nyad, and starts letting herself indulge in their hopeful fantasies of a safe world where no one will find them. In this time, Nyad gives the FSM a name of his own to use when they have their safer world. Hajime.

When the preparations are as ready as they’ll ever be, the Battle of Nine Days begins. On the eighth day, Nyad’s little brother (who wasn’t even fighting) is struck near-fatally, and Nyad launches a risky attack to try and end the battle once and for all. It’s unsuccessful, but she realizes Wojira’s weak spot. Like in canon, she merges with the sea, desperate to give the others a chance at the world they’d all hoped for, and hoping that her brother could be saved if the battle ended and he could get proper help.

She knows she should kill Wojira, but she can’t bring herself to. And instead of killing her she decides to take the amulets, and send Wojira into a deep, painless sleep, hopefully eternal.

Hajime is devastated by Nyad’s death, and though Mystaké grieves her as well, she’s a lot more accustomed to death, and watches her go, surprised by the ache in her heart.

The brother lives, but passes on his element very soon after the events of the battle, sick of it’s consequence. Hajime builds the new world and appoints new masters, though he doesn’t know where the water and wind elements went (not his domain). Mystaké never even brings up the idea of taking Hajime back to the first realm again, and protects him from other hunters when she can. Hajime lives a long long time before choosing to pass on and find peace for himself. Mystake lives another thousand years, farming strange enchanted teas, occasionally a companion to Wu and Garmadon.

In Hunted, she confides in Lloyd that if or when she dies, she would like to be sunk into the sea where the battle took place (not that she tells him the story. Just the location), and Lloyd thinks it’s just some weird senile old lady talk. But when she does die at the hands of his father and the Sons of Garmadon in Hunted, Lloyd doesn’t get a chance to row her out until after March of the Oni.

She liked Lloyd. He was a lot like Hajime.

[oliviasroses19]

I’m in my Colin feels again (I mean I always am but this time it’s too much and I must get it out) so buckle up, grab some tea and biscuits, and maybe some tissues depending on if I can get this written correctly.

I know people wish Colin would have suffered more before Pen forgave him but this man was suffering long before we saw him on screen flirting with the debutants on the street. Colin spent the whole of his four month tour missing Penelope and then kept missing her up until their reconciliation. In his own words he spent his whole tour yearning to receive word from home, from Penelope, in fact. We all know he missed her more than he let on initially and baby boy was desperate to hear from her. He surely cannot think of a logical reason for her silence. Their last (known to him) exchange was shared affirmations during their romantic platonic dance. I wish we would have gotten some sort of screen time of him whilst on his travels to get a little more depth of his spiraling from the loss of her letters that leads to his fake persona but I digress. He comes home and tries to get back on track with her only to receive many a cold shoulder from Pen, first at the garden party, and then at Lady Danbury’s ball where he finally learns of the reason for her silence. He is desperate to get back in her good graces and wasted no time with his apology (the next morning, he obviously couldn’t sleep).

He then finds a way to make up for his callous remark (we’ve all read the words enough and frankly I do not wish to repeat them) in the form of helping Pen find a husband.

Only, this doesn’t help with his missing her. They get to spend more time flirting laughing together like they used to. But there is also the ticking clock running down the time they will have together. Yes, he is dumb when it comes to Penelope, but not too dim witted to not realize that as soon as she is married, things will not be the same as it had been in the past. We see him start to realize this more at the Full Moon Ball. As soon as she starts interacting with Lord Basilio and Remington, yes he gets jealous, but there’s more to it. He’s getting a glimpse of how things will be when he’s not the one she gossips with or spends time with. He’s missing her before she is even wed.

And then the kiss happens.

And she gives him up while he realizes what he has truly been missing and why he missed her so deeply when she didn’t respond to his letters and he will continue to miss her because she is looking for a husband that is not him.

Then we have proper yearning while he watches her with Debling and it is eating him alive. He is trying to accept letting her go and he becomes a shell of a man in the process. He needs his Pen. Thankfully, Mama Bridgerton talked him out of his stupor and prompted him to act.

He professes his feelings for Pen and admits that he prefers sleep because that is where he might find her. He has been following her request for distance (kind of, sort of, maybe) since the willow tree. He follows her around like the golden retriever boy he is because he will take any interaction possible, even if he has to hear her talk about how Debling is not displeasing to look at. He misses her so entirely that he will take any form of Pen he can get. Even the non tangible, dream version of her. Because up until he crashed Debling’s proposal, he thought that was going to be the future extent of Pen he would have. But now he has told her how he feels and she wants to be so much more than friends.

He thinks he doesn’t have to miss her anymore. She’s going to be his wife.

But things still aren’t right between them. Colin is the king of reading Pen (well most of the time, boy still doesn’t realize she loves him). She’s high strung and not as open as he is used to her being. He is still missing her.

He finds out the reason is Whistledown and suddenly he’s missing the idea of her he had in his head. He thinks he doesn’t know her and he is also worried about the possibility of losing her if she is found out. Again, missing her before she is gone. She gives him an out from marrying her which he, rather harshly, puts down. He is upset, rightly so, but he cannot imagine not being with her. He knows what life is like without her in it and he cannot, will not, does not want to let that happen again.

We then have the fight outside the modiste and he is able to somewhat reconcile the two women he thought were separate. The wedding happens and for a moment, they are together, and nothing else matters.

But the moment is ruined when the Queen crashes their dance, and now the very real fear for her safety is again taking precedence.

He separates himself from her physically and a bit emotionally yet he still misses her. Colin could have slept anywhere in their apartment but chose the very uncomfortable settee right outside their room so he could be close. It is just as hard on him to not be near or with her as is it for Pen to not be with him. He is yearning for her but WD is still looming over them.

Then there is Cressida. Another thing that can take Penelope away from him. We finally see him admit how much he longed to hear from Penelope. The “I miss you” from the Four Seasons Ball was over shadowed by his rake fake persona and I fear it hasn’t been taken seriously enough. He did miss her, he wasn’t just saying it to get into her good graces.

I think when he tells Cressida he longed to hear from Penelope, he remembers why she didn’t respond. It is because he hurt her. This is another step in moving forward through the WD issue. He understands they have both unfortunately hurt each other. I think this makes it easier for him to forgive her (along with the argument outside the modiste) for the hurt she has caused him.

He then royally screws up appealing to Cressida. It breaks my heart watching our teary eyed boy admit his failure but Pen is not angry with him. She sees him trying and loves him all the more for it. He’s starting to see her in her entirety, starting to understand her reasons for WD. They are so close in this moment but still are not quite where they need to be.

We see more yearning in the blanket for the settee scene from both Colin and Penelope. They miss each other, the easiness of their friendship and now the future of their marriage.

He reads her letters again, because he misses her. Not hearing from her was the catalyst in his rapid down badism and is now key in realizing that the Pen he grew up with and the Pen he now knows are both capable of being witty, sharp, and sometimes harsh He starts to miss her a little less. He now sees he has always known her and no longer feels that loss.

Penelope plans to reveal herself and they are one step closer to not missing eachother.

The next time (that we know of) they see each other is at the Butterfly Ball. The worry he feels for her while being put in the spotlight is palpable. Everything can go up in flames at any moment and he could lose her forever. If he thought he missed her before, it is nothing compared to the possibility of never having her again.

But this doesn’t happen. The look of fear is replaced by that of utter pride, love, and adoration of his best friend as he watches her triumphantly declare herself as WD. Now all of the pieces are in place. Whistledown is out in the open, he has reconciled Pen and WD, and has admitted to his envy. They can now be emotionally, physically, and mentally together. He no longer has to miss her.

Colin “my wife” Bridgerton never wants to miss his Pen again because he has spent entirely too long missing her. I cannot WAIT to see them in their happy, wedded, mom and dad bliss next season. They will be insufferable to the entire ton.

——————————————————————————

If you’ve made it through my ramblings, I sincerely thank you. I hope it’s coherent enough and makes sense. Colin is such a complicated character and I love analyzing the way Luke plays him. All the nuances Luke slips in there truly make me love Colin even more.

[seospicybin]

So guys, today is my birthday 🎂🎈

Just the other day, I had this sad thought that as I grow older, I realize that I won't always be able to do the things that I like because life happens, passion fades and at one point, you grow out of things.

Maybe, just maybe one day it'd come the time that I won't be able to write fics anymore and the fact that I got sad thinking about it means that I still love writing.

So while I still have time, while I'm still passionate about writing and love doing it, and more importantly, while there are people who is willing to read them, I'll keep on writing with this sadness and the joy that I get from it.

There were times where I felt so deeply insecure about my writings and questioning myself whether I should just quit, but now, I am more sure than ever that I want to stay.

I also want to use this opportunity to say thank you to each and everyone of you who gave my writings a chance, for the support and for sending me all kinds of feedback. I know that I don't take much fuss about the number of engagements on my writings but if no one is reading it & interacting with it, I would have deleted this account and stop writing altogether.

So thank you for making me stay and making me want to write more, please know that I appreciate you so much 🥺💞

(Ugh, I didn't mean to make it sad and ngl, I'm tearing up as I'm typing this 😭😭😭)

When I decided to open this account, I didn't even dare to dream that there would be people reading my stuff but looking back, I can see how much I've achieved and I'm forever grateful for taking the decision to share my writings. There were good days, there were bad days and there'll be more of them in the future but that's makes the journey much more fun, right? Can't wait to see how far I'll go. I guess, we'll see. 😊

This account has been my safe space for almost three years now so my only wish is that you feel safe in this space too.

Anyway, I'm sorry for wasting your time with my sad little rant but once again, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. Sending you much love and warm hugs ❤️🫂

Oh, and if you want to treat me coffee on my birthday, I'd really appreciate it! 🥰