Well that was obnoxious
I should've just stayed exclusively on mobile, but my phone is seriously dying and I want to blather about my actually better-than-expected progress this evening. I got to page thirty-four on Canva, which was all I had edited the apostrophes and quotation marks. I've already done something like ten new pages of this cleanup; that's really going to be the biggest drive.
The book punch is on its way in the next few weeks, and I ordered some *impressive eyebrow wiggle* tiny paper origami cranes for the bookmarks for Manacled! I'm going to try to spend this next few weeks typesetting Mirror.
I bought some red ribbon for Apple Pie--I bought a bone folder! Book corners, a five-ended cat tunnel, and a silverware organizer! I'm probably going to crack at some point in the next two weeks or so and buy yet another pack of paper.
I'm actually half-trying to find if there's a better paper I'm "supposed" to be using? And since I'm basically out of adhesive (except for the methcel???), I also went to find a new adhesive that's better for bookbinding.
You'll never fucking believe.
First, they still make Yes Paste--I gave my barely used, almost at least ten-year-old jar to my friend because she scrapbooks. Who knows how old it was when it was handed along to me, and still usable at the point at which I shared it.
Second, you better goddamn believe I'm slapping down nearly thirty bucks for about sixteen ounces of that shit. It'll last a million years.
Third, for those of you, like me and formerly not in the know, Yes Paste is kinda fucking amazing like. It's weird. So it's almost a solid gel. I'm not entirely positive how it's supposed to be applied. The few times I used it, I think I used my finger. I couldn't really think of how else to use it at the time without being destructive (I didn't have any disposable plastic cards on me at the time). I would recommend an old plastic card or, more formally, a rubber squeegee. It would be to thick and heavy to use a regular paint brush, but perhaps one of those plasticky "disposable" ones from Michaels? With the cheap metal handles?
Another cool thing about Yes Paste is, it's not wet!! Which makes it amazing to use on paper, because the paper won't warp.
I don't remember how it dries, but I feel like I remember it drying sticky; not sure if there were specific instructions for that, but I don't think I read the label on the jar.
Anyway, I do of course already have plans for my portion of next paycheck. I probably had plans for every check from the time I moved in till idk man, probably September or October, at the earliest. I needed storage for all the stuff that's been stuck in these totes I used to move. I want to revenge purchase this tree bookshelf (or a couple). My ex can't stop me and only made me want it more by saying they hated it. Some laptop accessories would not be amiss. I'm still waiting anxiously for a good opportunity to get a new soda machine.
Then I remembered that I need to start adding a couple of items to my wardrobe at least a month, if not every paycheck for a while. Soooooo......... Yeah. Then I added this bookbinding hobby to my roster for at least a few months here and there. Surely I'll get my fill after a while, like with the graphic novel, where I still pick at it here at there, waiting for some kind of trigger to throw me back in. Oh well, I needed to shake up my hobbies for a while. Don't forget also slowly gathering tools and materials for paper-making (just imagine using my leftover scraps of fabric from these fanfic books on my recycled paper sketchbooks--ooooooh).
Anyway, I can only expand within the bounds of my habit, so eventually the spending will need to stop. I only need so many dishes and kitchen accessories, bookshelves (okay, you think the limits of my container are going to help my bookbinding obsession???), clothes.......
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“Why would you even ship that character with anybody?! He’s basically irredeemable to me—“
TO YOU!! He’s irredeemable to you. But some of us are silly geese that like our men to be the sexy, sad, feral, pathetic wet cats that they really are deep down, because we aren’t allergic to joy.
Is that okay with you??!? Is that permissible in the eyes of the Chronically Online Board of Hypothetical Ethics and Human Resources for Fictional Characters That Are Not Real™️®️.
You can go enjoy your curated selection of stale two dimensional wonderbread men in the corner, like the misguided pitiful lost soul that you are. the rest of us will be enjoying ourselves as our pathetic wet rag himbos and twinks kneel on the ground and beg to taste pussy/cock so hard they nearly come, like real men. just as god herself intended.
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Rolan didn’t realize he loved the other two until it was too late. Until it had been years since they’d spoken, even longer since they’d seen each other. And when he realized, he didn’t know what to do. How to deal with the fact that he loved two people he could barely even say he knew anymore. He didn’t understand how he could love concepts, memories filled with laughter and affection and the always somewhat present smell of smoke.
But he did. He loved them. Felt his heart skip a beat when a girlfriend’s dyed blonde hair momentarily made him mistake her for Kian. His body warmed up when she spoke of a fantasy story she’d read, explaining all the little details that Rolan would remember for the rest of his life in the same exact way that Rand would. When he heard a song on the radio, and his first thought was still “Kian would like this”. When the smell of smoke and alcohol and weed that always clung to Rand’s attic bedroom never quite left him.
Kian knew he loved the other too far too early, before anything could be done about it. When their biggest worries were still exams rather than missing sisters or corpses that nobody else could see. And he hated himself for it, hated how quickly and easily his love turned from something acceptable into something they’d hate him for. Hated how no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t get rid of the love he felt for them, how each time he hugged or just sat near them it would feel forbidden, like a secret they all had to keep but only he knew about.
But he couldn’t stop the way he felt. How his heart hammered in his chest when Rand rested his head on his shoulder because it was still normal to him. How his body burned when Rolan helped him bleach his hair during the early hours of the morning, talking about everything and anything to pass the time while they waited. How he mourned the friendship he still had with Rand, now tainted with lies because that was the only way Rand could still care for him. How he still felt such a desperate need and pain when yet another call to Rolan went unanswered, his words and pleas falling to nothing as he knew the other would never hear them anyways.
Rand only understood that he loved them when they were gone. He realized with fear and pain and yerning that the betrayal and loneliness he felt when they left wasn’t born just from his best friends leaving him behind. And he didn’t know how to feel, how to deal with it. Just like he didn’t years later, when he was left behind again, both of them gone somewhere he couldn’t bring himself to follow, only remembering how he felt when Rolan Deep and Kian Stone were both nothing but memories a few people held and empty graves he left flowers to.
He loved them for the rest of his life. His heart still skipped a beat whenever he passed by Rolan’s home, like he was still expecting the other to sneak out of the back door and join him in whatever he was doing. His body always felt cold and hollow, like something was missing, whenever someone touched him with the same care and gentleness that Kian always had. He locked up in terror whenever he heard the clicking and buzzing of ordinary bugs that had seemingly overtaken Galloway since the hive died. He screamed when the phantom flesh and blood that forever coated his barely living body wrapped around him tighter in a mockery of an embrace.
Rand loved the other two for the rest of his life. And he hated it more than anything.
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Spotify 100 Day 10: American Pie by Don McLean
These two don't have much of a spotlight in the actual story, so I think I should probably draw them a lot outside of it to make up for that lol. I attempted to do bisexual lighting but it turned out more pink than I expected. Still looks good though 👍👍
Characters: Adam Lee (이아담) and Mijun Ahn (안미준)
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