#sleep ptsd

[unwelcome-ozian]

Hello,

We’ve been struggling with insomnia, especially in childhood but now it’s gotten more frequent again, since we started discussing more severe trauma in therapy.

We wanted to ask if you know any tips to get through the nights more easily. We already stick to a bed time routine that works often, but many nights we still end up not getting sleep till early morning. We’ve also read that you’re not supposed to keep laying awake if you haven’t gotten anymore sleepy after 20 or so minutes.

What keeps us awake is usually general anxiety and rapid heartbeat, but also flashbacks or forced thoughts about trauma. We sleep more soundly if there’s somebody we trust next to us, but we don’t get to have that most of the time. Recently we started locking our door at night, but it doesn’t make us feel safer.

Thank you for all you do here. We wish you the best!

Hello there,

Here a few suggestions:

Don’t stay in bed if you are struggling to fall asleep.

Get out of bed to do some low-stimulation activities to occupy your mind until tired.

Allow your mind to rest. Don’t read or watch upsetting news reports or TV shows in the evening. Practise other types of rest in your life.

Nightmare Reprocessing technique where you identify a negative and a positive assumption about yourself in relation to the content of the nightmare, change the ending of the dream, and then replay the dream with the new ending.

Free Sleeping where you stop trying to sleep normally and just sleep whenever and wherever you can. Pay attention to your body and look for those windows of opportunity where your nervous system is ready for sleep and take them.

Try setting your alarm clock for just before the time you usually experience night-waking. Deliberately waking yourself up disrupts the negative sleep patterns that your brain has developed and creates the conditions where you can develop a more normal sleep routine.

You’re most welcome. Take care,

Oz

[semiotomatics]

me @ 9pm: okay, I ate, I went to the bathroom, I refilled my water bottle, I'm comfortable, my anxiety levels are (relatively) low, I feel exhausted, FINALLY I'm going to get a full night's sleep and wake up at a reasonable time

my brain at 12:30am: think again, sucker *kills me in my dream, forcing me to wake up*

[crippledpunks]

my heart goes out to you if you're a disabled person who has a complicated or negative relationship with sleep. if you need to sleep a lot but can't due to life circumstances, or sleeping extra causing other symptoms to flare up. if you can't sleep enough due to pain, or nightmares, or psychosis, or bipolar, or depression. if you sleep way too much and find it hard to stay awake. if you can't fall or stay asleep. if you need medication in order to be able to sleep. if you don't feel rested from sleep. if you wake up a lot in the night. if you have bladder or bowel accidents while asleep. if you twitch or convulse or move too or get injured in your sleep. if you can't control your sleep schedule no matter what. if you can't sleep during "normal" sleeping hours. if you can't sleep for 8+ hours straight but can sleep for shorter amounts of time. if sleep is what you need but for one reason or another you just can't or refuse to do it.

i care about you. your disabilities deserve to be seen and acknowledged

[parasolladyansy]

Especially when she was younger, Ansy would feel this need to just HIDE - the world was unsafe, & she had to go somewhere that was. Sometimes it was dissociation or daydreaming, other times it was finding a bathroom or corner to hide in until it was okay.

One of these times, someone came looking for her; Ingo found her as the sun was going down, & sat with her in that hiding spot. Among the things he told her, this one stayed with her into adulthood - it told her that even when it felt like the world was ending, it might not be, that there might be a way to keep going if she was brave enough to peek around the corner.

—

It is your right to be sad, worried, or angry, no matter what others around you may say. You have your own reasons for feeling whatever you may be feeling, & that is your business. My own tears have dried up. Now, I’m peeking around the corner, & I think I see a way forward.

We’ll be okay, so long as we don’t give up & isolate. In my experience, bad people will do everything to make you feel all alone, that no one is listening, & no one is coming. That’s not true, so long as we don’t close our hearts to each other, or to ourselves.

Take care, okay? 🩵 I may keep drawing, but if not, see you Sunday for the next DxP update. ^_^

[royalarchivist]

[After they talk about Pac's debt to the Pancake Mafia, and Pac warns her about Sir Reaper]

Bagi: I think you're the one that needs to be careful, because soon you might lose your other leg.

Pac: N-no! NO! Please don't! Stop- stop! STOP TALKING LIKE YOUR BROTHER!

Bagi: [Laughs]

Pac: I'll pay you– I'm going to pay you!

I want to give a MASSIVE thank you to @wasabi-ribs, who was kind enough to check my translations and help me with the parts I missed (and also reviewed the final subtitled video)!

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]

-

Bagi: Pac, pay the rent!

Pac: I'm going to pay! Hey- I'm going to pay right this second, the money that I owe you, and... and I'm- I'm serious! And look, if you want- if you have more money... If I pay your 4,500, will you lend me 4,500? No, then I'll actually drown in fees. [Laughs]

Bagi: [Laughs] I'll lend you, I'll lend you

Pac: No, not really Bagi. You've got those red eyes– I'm scared, Bagi. I don't know– I don't know what happened, actually it's an eye infection, I know– But something tells me it's not just an eye infection, that it's also some other things, you know? Like, um... y'know, right? [He fumbles again] Oh God wait, your brother– when he had those red eyes he would also turn evil. Nonononono– I'll pay you, ok? Where's the waystone? It's here, it's here, it's here– I'll pay you, ok? I'll pay the 4,500- we're gonna–

Bagi: I'll be waiting.

Pac: No no, oh- just– Just let me walk, my God, I love walking– OH, WALKING IS SO GOOD – [Pac teleports] I'll pay her.

[Bagi follows him moments after]

Pac: [Pac mumbles to himself as he begins transferring money to Bagi] 4,500... I need to pay her 4,500...

Bagi: [Sneaks up on him] Oh, perfect!

Pac: [SCREAMS]

[densewentz]

lucanis, literally every time he and Rook are sweet talking: my beautiful angel with a disorder, you are the most stressful thing in my life

[littlecrittereli]

I don't usually post my sketches but I really like how this one turned out.

What's the point of angst without some good aftermath healing?

[zimtlees]

Intrusive thoughts

[worstloki]

love the idea of the Avengers adding new members but being stingy about rooms so the OG Avengers each get their own but Bucky and Loki are forced to share one under the guise of it being 'healthy interaction'

[mae-lou-ron]

A Friend Indeed

Summary: Two years into settling on Pabu, Crosshair reluctantly finds solace in some familiar places.

Rating: T (might be G but set as T because I'm just a baby and I don't know how ratings work. Feel free to yell at me if I should change it) Warnings under the cut.

Tags/TWs: hurt/comfort, cute brotherly fluff, descriptions of PTSD, descriptions of sleep paralysis symptoms, recurring nightmares involving medical trauma (nothing described), heightened anxiety around dates, grief processing, mental health probs, just wrecker and crosshair being adorable brothers with their emotional support animals.

WC: ~1,800

A/N: this is the first work I've ever posted. It started as a completely self indulgent drabble of Crosshair bonding with a scrungly stray island cat (still in progress), but I loved writing this brotherly exchange between Crosshair and Wrecker so much it kinda turned into something else entirely by the end? This story falls in line with my HCs that Wrecker is the mediator middle child, Tech is still alive and on Pabu with his family, and that he's an awful snorer. Proofread by me.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"And how is this supposed to help?" Crosshair seethed, looking down at the plush tooka doll his brother just shoved into his hand. "I don't need this, Wrecker."

"Oh come on, Crosshair, don't pretend like you didn't borrow Lula when we were younger...like that time you had nightmares after falling off the--"

"Stow it," Crosshair growled, throwing the doll back at his brother, but Wrecker, being used to his brother's temperament, dodged it easily. It tumbled to the floor and Batcher, who had been eyeing the tooka during their entire exchange, didn't hesitate to scoop it up and wiggle her hind quarters, hoping one of them would start a game of chase.

"Listen, I still get them too..." Wrecker said quietly as he took a step towards Crosshair, his hand resting on the sniper's shoulder with a gentle squeeze. "Want to tell me about it?" He was no stranger to navigating Crosshair's anger. Especially now, after two years of them living on Pabu, two years into recovering mentally and physically from their experiences with the Republic and the Empire, two years of healing the bonds between one another. Wrecker knew that it was always a cover for something more nuanced. So, he was quiet and let Crosshair percolate with his thoughts before he spoke about what was bothering him. After a few moments, Crosshair grumbled, resisting the urge to shrug his shoulder free, but the wall he put up cracked just enough.

"It's just..." Crosshair’s hand clenched into a fist at his side. Batcher flopped down on her bed dramatically at being ignored, still holding the tooka gently in her mouth. "It's not just the nightmares..." he mumbled. Wrecker took a half step back, eyes soft and trained on his brother's deep furrowed brow and scowl at opening up like this. But Wrecker was patient.

When Crosshair continued, his voice was barely a whisper, "Sometimes when I wake up I'm still stuck there and...I can't...I can't move..." he trailed off, his mind flitting back to that morning.

He'd woken from the dream, or so he thought. Tantiss' medical droids were still swirling in his periphery, the smell of disinfectant still sharp in his nose. His nervous system immediately reacted, seeking to lash out, to escape, but his body didn't respond- for a horrible moment he thought he might be strapped down again but no, nothing was biting into his skin, he simply couldn't move. He tried to speak, but the words remained on his tongue.

No. He thought bitterly. They're not here. I'm not there.

He kept repeating this in his head, almost like a mantra as the panic coursed through his body. The droid never came close enough to touch him, but still close enough to be a threat. It felt like an eternity until his tunneled vision brightened slightly, the bits and pieces started to fade, and his bedroom in his Pabu home came into the forefront. He could finally feel his limbs thawing, the weight of the blanket on his feet, the rising sun casting speckles on the wall, the sound of seabirds calling in the distance. These things helped ground him enough to remember his training, he slowed his breathing in an attempt to quiet his pounding heart. It worked, but it didn't quiet completely, not until he could feel his toes wiggle.

Wrecker's warm hand gave his shoulder another squeeze, gently bringing Crosshair back to the present moment. Crosshair glanced up at his brother's scarred face, into his concerned, mismatched eyes for a fleeting moment before shaking his head and casting his eyes back downward. Wrecker was always a good listener despite his boisterous demeanor. He never tried to talk Crosshair out of how he was feeling, or suggest solutions unless asked. He was content to be an ear to bend and a shoulder to lean on.

And Crosshair would rather be slowly digested by that massive tentacled sea creature in the bay than have all of his family members concern be directed towards him. Hunter watched and hovered too much and it only frustrated Crosshair more. Tech would listen and be sure to provide the most annoyingly practical solution. Echo was his first choice to go to about this specific issue, but he was away again and difficult to get a hold of these days. Omega, his heart softened a little thinking of her. She would drag him to the cliffs and insist they meditate, look at him with those kind, concerned eyes. His eyes.

No. Absolutely not. Wrecker was his best option at not driving Crosshair back into himself. And he was so tired, so the wall came down a bit further. He looked up quickly again to make sure Wrecker was still listening. He always was.

"And they're...often," The sniper's lips pressed into a thin line. "Almost every morning this past week," Crosshair continued. "And sometimes in the middle of the night, which are the worst," he spat out so quickly it took Wrecker a second to process what he said.

"This happened last year around this time too," Wrecker thought out loud. Crosshair cringed at the realization he'd already known, but grunted in affirmation. He had learned that sometimes this is how it goes, especially around dates with any significance, and they returned from Tantiss for the last time on this day two years ago.

Wrecker looked thoughtful for a moment before his face brightened at a sudden idea. He strode around the room and started gathering the cushions and pillows, tossing them into a pile in front of the couch.

"What are you doing?" Crosshair drawled wearily, his eyes following Wreckers movements. He was already regretting his decision to speak more freely about this.

"I'm getting comfy," Wrecker said plainly as he settled down amidst the pile of pillows, leaning back against the couch. Batcher took this as an invitation to dig out her own spot at Wrecker's side, Lula in tow, settling down with it under her chin. "See?" he said, his tone light. "Let's camp out here!" He said spreading his arms wide before returning his hands to the back of his head. "You know like back on Kamino in the training storage room whenever Tech would snore too loud?" He grinned at the memory. "Hunter would always find us and act all annoyed but he just always wanted to know where we were...and get away from Tech's snoring,"

"Still does," Crosshair snorted, one corner of his mouth curling up slightly. Admiration for his brothers pulled him out of his resolute melancholy a little more. He settled down on the other side of Batcher, resting his arm over her back like he'd done a thousand times before. The hound grumbled at him when he lifted her chin gently to retrieve Lula.

"No." Crosshair said firmly. Batcher's eyes still followed the doll but she settled back down. He held Lula before him, taking in the tattered fabric, the stains, the patches added to mend rips and burns. One of her ears was almost completely gone.

"This thing is...disgusting," Crosshair scoffed quietly, it was almost a chuckle.

"Yeah, it is," Wrecker laughed heartily. "But she's been with us the whole time. Look..." he said pointing at the burn across the doll's back. "That's from when those clanker disrupters I made for your fire puncher went off in the barracks, remember?" He smiled widely remembering how angry Tech was at them for setting his bed on fire, while he was still in it. And Wrecker's, but that was nothing new back then. He continued regaling Crosshair with anecdotes about how the blemishes were made over the years.

Wrecker suddenly yawned, stretching and settling further into the nest, "Alright if I sleep here tonight," he said drowsily, more a statement than a question, his eyes still bright. Stars, he was a terrible liar, but Crosshair appreciated his attempts to not wound his pride. To give Crosshair the choice for his company without having to ask for it.

He was working on it.

"I suppose," he drawled. It was already late when his brother came by to check on him— and it's not like Wrecker would be easily moved at this point anyway. 

Crosshair, resigned but thankful for the company, studied the tooka for a while longer. The knot in his chest loosened slightly at the reminder of the joyful and chaotic moments they've shared. Bright moments poking through the darkness like the stars studding the night sky. Instead of tucking the doll under his arm or clutching it to his chest, he stuffed it behind his head before settling back onto its familiar softness.

Crosshair folded his arms over his chest, closing his eyes and tuning in on the sounds of the insects chirping softly outside, the distant waves were harder to hear now that the tide had retreated, but still added to the calmness that now descended upon the island. Batcher grumbled in contentment, and soon Crosshair's breathing matched Wrecker's, lulling him into a more peaceful sleep than he'd had all week.

The next morning when Crosshair opened his eyes, the frightening things he may have dreamt about didn't follow him. They stayed where they belonged, far out of his periphery. The bright orange morning creeping over the horizon chased away some of the shadows from his mind. Not all of course, but, some. Wrecker and Batcher were still right beside him, both very real and sleeping soundly. He wiggled his toes experimentally. Pleased when the joints flexed on his command. He could move and get up if he wanted, but it was still far too early to rise and start the day. Instead, Crosshair did something he hasn't done in weeks- he went back to sleep.

Maybe he was still right, he thought as he drifted off again, Lula still tucked under his head. Maybe he didn't need this, but he had to admit, it helped.

[sincerely-sofie]

Had a long night and made a vent piece to help me through it. I’m doing better now, but I figured it might be good to post— hopefully it can help someone feel less alone.

I call this thing “The Gravedigger.”

[moghedien]

it would be low key fucked up if Shadowheart was a werewolf and you romanced her as durge, because in the game, Shadowheart clearly is not aware of if she is a werewolf, and if she goes and asks her dad about it (which you can have her do even if you aren't playing her origin and she's just a companion btw, he'll give Shadowheart more info than the pc) he'll say she probably isn't if she hasn't had any symptoms by now, and he'll mention some symptoms, like being suddenly hairier and craving warm flesh

and so like, just imagine how fucked up it would be if like post-game, durge is redeemed and free of urges and isn't fantasizing about tearing people apart with their bare hands and bathing in their blood anymore and they're so relieved and just gonna live a quiet normal life with Shadowheart

and then like a few weeks after the game, Shadowheart starts fantasizing all the time about tearing flesh with her teeth and warm blood

[moonshynecybin]

please just a window into your mind palace 🙏 how does vale react when marc gets kidnapped? how does he act and what lengths does he go to save him? what kind of measures does he take to make sure marc is never harmed?

it’s really more like. okay so i think the lever that drives the purpose of the story in all of the whump fic EYE read as a young teen was. hey what if this character gets KIDNAPPED and BEFORE they got kidnapped everyone was maybe perhaps taking advantage of them/under appreciating them/not realizing they were in pain (this attitude could be extrapolated from actual observed behavior in canon towards this character orrrr ENTIRELY INVENTED. doesn’t really matter. with marc it is. unfortunately very real in many ways from vale due to their biblical level estrangement) but NOW people get to freak out and realize how much they care about them and how much they love them and nurse them back to health while whiping blood off of their bruised, pretty face as the kidnapped character sort of gazes up at them in disbelief that a WORM like them could even be cared about enough to be gently touched. in many ways this is a fun scenario to think about with ROSQUEZ. because i think marc has internalized. okay vale doesn’t care about me. and i want him to be proven WRONG ! INCORRECT BUZZER ! and this is perhaps a batshit crazy enough lever to get vale a lil stressed. like it’s one thing to see marc vaulted through the air. they do that for work. AND vale doesn’t even like THAT. but. ransom ? kidnapping ? total marquez family media freeze out? not even a cryptic liar statement from honda to overanalyze or a shirtless selfie from a hospital bed to signal he’s alive ? homie is BUGGIN. he likes INFO he’s CURIOUS he knew every detail of marc deciding to ride on that arm in 2020 he pays ATTENTION. worry despite distance. and oh boy this is the supreme worry scenario.

so anyways the wheels are off we are doing old school fandom tropes because in real life i think vale like. just stays kind of quietly scared until he’s asked about it where he has to perform the most insane feat of mental gymnastics ever put to camera. but that’s not FUN !!! so marc gets kidnapped by uh. evildoers. not important. they only really beat him up in a hot way like on teen wolf. and vale finds out through a blurry picture of marc shirt kinda half unbuttoned and mouth duct taped and on the NEWS and he looks SCARED and TIRED and BRUISED and. not very much like himself. which is thing that puts a burning pit in vale’s stomach the MOST, and he’s pretending he doesn’t care he’s pretending it’s normal he’s pretending it’s about HIMSELF (what if someone was out there kidnapping generationally talented motorsports professionals uccio ?? he HAS to be checking the news obsessively for safety THANK YOU..) but he’s really so stressed. white knuckle grip on his composure. like vale is not sleeping not eating he’s refreshing the news story obsessively because he doesn’t KNOW anything which is the scariest part. he’s calling in every contact he can he’s traveling to spain he’s getting turned away at the marquez family door. he’s still DENYING THAT HES FREAKING OUT. and he’s MIA. uccio is like vale has also been kidnapped. vale is like shut up. please. i am fine.

now in no world do i think vale actually DOES anything effective to get marc back bc at the end of the day he’s just a noodle who can ride bikes good. sorry. leave that to spy aus and the like. but he TRIES and he FREAKS and when they get marc back (bruised and pale and thin. comes into the ER like. and when can i ride my bike again. fully in tears) he arranges everything so it goes as smoothly as possible and then he stays in the hospital lobby for a full two days bundled up on an incognito hoody like a weirdo. he’s just gotta see him

[hel7l7]

I need sleep

[badaziraphaletakes]

Thinking about how if Aziraphale had been the one to slam Crowley against a wall, there would probably be long essays calling Azi an abuser.

Side note: There was a take floating around for awhile that Aziraphale triggered Crowley's PTSD on purpose to get him to slam him against the wall - and people were just okay with that and thought it was cute and funny!!!!

Like, idk if that's a bad Aziraphale take or a bad Crowley take or a bad GO take... but I know it's not good

😂

[yuseirra]

he's smiling..........