#sirius would be sobbing but he’s disowned

[a-great-tragedy]

Walburga shortly after Regulus dies: The only heir to the noble house of Black is dead!

Narcissa: *sobs*

Walburga: …

Walburga: Sorrows… *Puts hand on Narcissa’s shoulder*

Walburga: …Sorrows, prayers

[kaaaaaaarf]

Sirius, who owns a popular nightclub in NYC, and Remus, who is dragged there by Lily one Friday night, but would really rather be drinking tea in his tiny industrial art studio apartment in the Bronx with his cat. Wolfstar hit it off, and Sirius takes him home—which happens to be a multi-story apartment in an old building in Tribeca that he paid for not with inheritance, but with the money he makes from his legitimate business. Remus has never been less comfortable in someone's apartment, feels like he's getting Punk'd.

Months go by and they keep seeing each other, but Remus has a panic attack every time he goes over because he is slightly afraid of the doorman at Sirius' building.

Remus, panicked and sweating: What if he doesn't let me in? It's after midnight!

Sirius: What, do you think he's gonna make you answer his riddles three before you'll be allowed in or something?

Remus: I dunno, maybe!!! Should I bring him a coffee to say sorry?

Sirius: Sorry for what?!

Remus: I don't know, existing???

He braves the doorman, though, because he's nervous about letting Sirius see his apartment, which in addition to being industrial and the size of a box, only has heat 45% of the time and has a shower rigged over the toilet. He's like no way can I take this fucking model-level hottie anywhere near this dump because it isn't meant to be lived in...but eventually, six months into the relationship he relents and brings him over. Remus is nervously pacing around his apartment, picking up clothes from his floor and Sirius is completely unbothered, more concerned with petting the cat than with how the apartment looks. It turns out that actually, Sirius lived in a very similar apartment when he was first disowned by his family and was starting up the club with a loan from Fleamont.

Sirius: Remus, sit down. My old apartment was way worse—there was actually a hole in the wall behind the bathroom mirror that lead into another apartment. I had to padlock the fucking thing so I didn't get robbed.

Nevertheless, they still spend most of their time at Sirius' place, so Remus starts baking so that he can give the doorman a peace offering for disturbing him so frequently, which turns out to be a hobby he can't really afford.

Remus, wringing his hands: Lily, I don't know if i can afford to be with this guy...I really like him, and he always pays for our dates and stuff, but I am really eating it with all the money i'm spending on the doorman. ☹️

Lily: ...I love you, but you're an idiot.

Eventually, Remus gets over his fear of Gary (the doorman), and they actually become friends. His peace offerings turn into weekly screenings of Bake Off episodes behind the security desk in the lobby. Sirius has no idea this is happening, just that Remus is always busy Tuesday nights at 7pm. He comes downstairs to walk Padfoot one day and has to double take at his boyfriend and Gary laughing about a soggy bottom.

When Gary retires a few years later, Remus actually sobs, but continues to meet him at the park on the corner on Saturday mornings with his and Sirius' daughter.

The end????

(This has been a co-production from me and @pain-in-the-riri who are both absolutely doing the work we're being paid for and not plotting the lives of wolfstar)

[777heavengirl]

the one with Pobol y cwm

sirius black x reader ! - 1,091 words masterlist bags masterlist A/N: HAPPY BDAY SIRIUS BLACK MY BELOVED- SURPRISE UPDATE IN HONOR OF HIM TODAY- oh dear pls dont look at this too in detail i am very sick and exhausted but i wanted to put something out for his bday...

Sirius had never been a crier. Yet as his nimble fingers dug into the soft material of your sweater, and his body shook with sobs— it became clear to you that he had just been holding it in. 

He hadn’t said much after he walked through his door, red-eyed and ready to crumble. 

But you knew. 

You had always been this way. Just knowing, him. Knowing somehow, what he was thinking, what he was feeling. You could tell, most of the time anyway.

You knew he felt sorry, and you knew he felt frustratingly heartbroken. Angry and furious, but deeply blue. The little boy inside of him had lost his mother, and there was nothing he could say to himself that would make it better. 

 Because through all her faults, her disgusting vile words, and even worse behavior. Through her hexes and unforgivable curses, through every bit of torture that Walburga had subjected Sirius through, it was still his mother.

She would always be his mother.

Disowned or not, abuser or not, the owner of his nightmares, the person he hated most. Nothing could ever erase the fact that for at least the first sixteen years of his life, she had been his mother, and in a way, in a deeply hurtful, and grief-ridden way, she would always be. 

So he cried. For the mother he had until age ten, for the mother he had been subjected to until sixteen, for the mother he never had in the first place. 

It didn’t matter how many times Sirius told himself to not cry over her, it didn’t matter that he truly hated her. It didn’t matter he once had half a mind to kill her himself. He realized that he’d never get the good relationship he had always secretly wanted. As long as she was alive, even though Sirius would rather die himself than admit it, the stupidest goddamn part of him was still holding on to that chance. 

He had never realized he was still clutching onto that.

Until the chance got ripped away.

So you sat, with his face buried in your stomach as he kneeled in front of his bed, in front of you. Sobbing. His arms around your torso and clutching at the material of your jumper with white-hot fists. 

You didn't know what else to do besides hug him back, trying not to cry. Your hands pet his hair, strong and steady, because you knew that was what he needed the most right now. 

Your reliability, your care, your unconditional love for him. 

And you did, love him that is. 

From the bottom of your heart, you loved Sirius Orion Black.

Even if you hadn’t talked in weeks, even if you felt like a ghost in the house, even if you had been planning your move out no less than thirty minutes ago in a fit of anxious desperation.

“I’m sorry Sirius” you didn’t think he heard you over his earth-shattering sobs, but he shook his head slightly, almost as if wanting to say no, don’t be. “I am sorry, I know she was horrid-”

“I hate her-” his words were hoarse and raw, he didn’t look up. “I still hate her, I need her to wake up so I can tell her- god I can’t tell her-” You could feel his words reverberating through his throat, 

“I hate her so much, I hoped she’d die in some- in some disgusting gruesome death, I just-” he took a deep breath, his breath ragged and shaky “I hoped it would be something ironic and karmic like getting hit by a muggle bus but that goddamn bitch had the audacity to go in peace- in her sleep no less merlin- I- I- just keep hoping that I’m dreaming and that she’s… there and rotting alive in that awful house” 

“I’m sorry-”

His voice was calmer now, still buried in your sweater, still embracing you. “I hate her and I am glad she’s dead, she doesn’t deserve to be alive and well after everything she put me and my brother through- but the stupidest part of me- is still mourning”

He loosened his hold on you, and he slumped between your legs, his face now only half-buried in your torso. You could see the red splotches that had bloomed on his porcelain skin.

“I don't know what I feel any more love, I feel out of control”

“I know”

“I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you”

“I’m sorry too-”

“Please don’t leave me… don’t leave me alone”

“I don’t think I could leave even if I wanted to Sirius- not that I do… don’t worry-” Your fingers carded through his hair “I will always be here”

“I’m sorry-”

“You don’t have to apologize- we can talk about that later… do you want to go for a walk?”

He lifted his head up slightly, enough to steal glances of your face as he wiped his face with his fingers. 

“Can we just watch Pobol y cwm-” his voice was low and gloomy, it broke your heart.

“Yeah, we can watch Pobol…” You tried smiling at him, it was a sad one, but he mirrored it nonetheless. It was hard not to get emotional while seeing him this way. 

Shattered and somber. 

Irrevocably burdened with the knowledge that while yes he mourned his mother, just some idolized version of her he buried deep within the confines of his mind— he would never get justice either. 

Sirius Black was relieved, he realized, as he laid his head on your shoulder and watched the advertisements on TV. His abuser was dead, it was more than he could ask for. Yes, he’d have to talk to you eventually, tell you how he feels, even simply explain why he got so upset. He’d have to write to his brother and not repeat the cycle of anger that was embedded deep within their veins. He’d eventually have to face his father. He’d have to face the fact that he, did indeed, have grief over the death of Walburga. 

But all of that could wait for tonight, he had you right now. 

With your arm around him, tucking his much larger form into your side, with his legs over your thighs and Pobol y cwm playing in the back. The soft of your sweater, and the sweet soft scent of your hair, the warmth from your hand drawing circles on his back. It was all that mattered right now.

It was just you and Pobol y cwm.

taglist ; @thatlittlered @giuli-in-earth

let me know if you wanna be added ! or if i missed you

[my-castles-crumbling]

tree - @wolfstarmicrofic - word count: 352

The summer after his fifth year, Sirius is disowned.

Blasted off of his family tree.

Beaten and kicked out of his family home.

Left for all-but dead.

His family doesn't care. They never have, really. They only care about the idea of him. The idea of an heir, someone to carry on the family ideals and goals.

He is not that.

So he is tossed aside.

He is broken.

He takes what feels like hours to pull himself off of the ground and collect himself, to bring his aching body together enough to move forward.

He has his wand, and performs enough healing magic to make sure he's not going to die, but he is still in pain. Such pain. Raw and physical, but also deep and emotional.

And when he makes it to the Potters' house, he collapses again, sobbing and wailing, mourning for the small boy who only ever wanted to be loved, but instead just disappointed the ones who should have loved him most, no matter what he did.

-

When he awakens hours later, it's to a warm bed, soft pillows, comfort and security.

And a presences beside him.

He knows it's not James, from the scent and the size and the way the man beside him breathes.

He feels Remus staring at him, stroking his hair lightly, hears him murmuring words he can't quite make out.

"Moony?" he asks through a croaky voice, still grasping at consciousness.

"Sirius," Remus says louder, his voice raw with emotion.

"M'hurt," Sirius murmurs, because he is. He's hurt inside and out, and he just wants Remus to put him back together. Needs Remus there to keep him from falling apart completely.

So when big hands and strong arms wrap around him and pull him close, he whimpers at the way it makes him feel so protected.

"They will never hurt you again, Sirius," Remus says in his ear, and his voice is low and rough and would be scary if it was any other situation, but it is so comforting now.

He sighs and snuggles deeper into Remus's arms.

He is safe.

[lixzey]

safe and sound

ONE. TWO. THREE

I'm sorry I left, but it was for the best, though it never felt right, my little Versailles.

The morning after Sirius left, when your mother and father found out, they disowned your eldest brother immediately—your mother blasted him off of the Black family tapestry. Your mother quickly locked herself in her room afterwards and didn’t step out of the room for a week. You wondered why, but brushed it off to the side. Mother never loved Sirius, Mother never loved any of us. She was just ashamed to have lost her son to blood traitors, half-bloods, and muggle-borns.

Though your mother left Sirius’ room untouched, maybe she wasn’t bothered to clean out her blood traitor of a son’s room. 

The news spread like wildfire over the remaining days of the holiday. Your Slytherin friends sent you letters asking if it was true that the Black heir was disowned. You ignored every letter as much as you could, but you can’t deny the truth for long, especially when you’re back at Hogwarts.

“You are not to be in contact with him, do you understand me?” Your mother’s voice echoed in your ears, her eyes emotionless. Keep his name out of your mouth, you don’t deserve to mourn. You thought, as you nodded along with Regulus, you had no choice but to do so.

You were actually dreading going back to Hogwarts after the holidays. The letters Sirius promised, it never came. So you just assumed that he didn’t want anything to do with you or Regulus anymore, completely shutting both of you out of his life. Like your mother, you confined yourself to your room. You just laid in bed, clutching one of Sirius’ old shirts close to your chest. Regulus often stayed with you, giving you the comfort you needed, but still, it wasn’t the same as it used to be.

Meanwhile, Regulus’ heart broke at the sight of his sister grieving and crying almost every night. It was torture to hear her muffled sobs through the walls, but he couldn’t do a thing to make it all better. He was missing Sirius too, which made it harder for him to be there for Y/n. As much as he wanted to be strong for her, he was struggling to deal with Sirius’ absence as well.

He lost a brother too. 

But Regulus kept his promise: he would protect Y/n, no matter the cost. His little sister comes first, above all. 

January 2nd, 1977

You watched as the view of King’s Cross faded into view, the cold weather sending goosebumps running down your arms, but you ignored it as best as you could.

“Come on, starlight, I need to get to the Prefects’ carriage,” Regulus sighed, nudging you slightly. 

“You go ahead, Reggie.” You smiled softly. “I’m going to go and look for Pandora and Dorcas, don’t worry about me.” 

Regulus raised a brow at you. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

You rolled your eyes at his protectiveness. “Yes, I’ll be alright.”

Regulus hesitated for a moment before he sighed and nodded. “Alright, fine. Just be careful, okay? You know what people are saying about Sirius; it might be best to keep a low profile for now.” 

You nodded, knowing he had a point. The rumours had already spread, and you didn’t want to deal with all the questions and looks from your classmates. But you also wanted to find out why Sirius never sent any letters in the days that followed his departure. 

As Regulus made his way to the Prefects’ carriage, you took a deep breath and decided to go and find James Potter. You knew it was risky, but you needed to find out why. As you made your way through the crowded train, you tried to keep your head down and avoid drawing too much attention to yourself.

Suddenly, while keeping your head down, you collided with someone. When you looked up, you saw James smiling at you, his arm wrapped around your waist to keep you from falling. But you’ve already fallen for him, a long time ago.

“You should be looking at where you’re going, Y/n,” James smirked, the distance between the two a few inches away making your heart flutter in your chest.

“You can let me go now, James.” You chuckled nervously, trying to fight the heat that was rising to your cheeks.

James helped you stand on your feet before taking his arm off of your waist. “So, how are you? Are you okay?”

“You know well for a fact that I am not okay, James.” You crossed your arms over your chest, rolling your eyes. “Where’s my brother?” 

James’ smile faltered, knowing exactly which brother you were asking for. “He’s with Remus,”

“Well, what are you waiting for? Take me to my brother, James.” 

James awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. “He really doesn’t want to talk to you or Regulus.”

You felt disappointed. You and Regulus were supposed to be the closest people to him. But as much as you wanted to confront James about it, he seemed genuinely concerned for Sirius. 

“I'm sorry, Y/n. I wish I could do more to help.”

You sighed, shaking your head. “It's okay, James. I just want him to know that he's not alone, that Reg and I are here for him too.” You smiled sadly, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. “I just really miss him.”

James nodded, his eyes sincere. “I'll tell him, I promise. And Y/n, if you ever need anything, just let me know.”

You smiled gratefully, still feeling conflicted about the whole situation. As James bid you farewell and continued on his way, you couldn't shake the feeling of unease that settled in your chest. Why wasn't Sirius reaching out?

But deep down, you knew that you'd never stop caring about your brother, even if he had chosen to leave. You were mad at him, yes, but that didn't mean you'd just forget him—like the rest of your family did—he was still your Siri, the best friend you and Regulus always had. And as the train rumbled on towards Hogwarts, you made a silent vow to yourself that you would let Sirius know that he was still loved. Because family was everything, and regardless of what had happened, you were determined to bring your family back together.

“For how long are you going to avoid your brother and sister, Padfoot?” James asked, opening the chocolate frog box in his hand. 

Sirius sighed, his eyes glued to the views outside. “I don’t know.”

“You know, Y/n really misses you,” James pointed out, stuffing the box in his pocket.

Sirius looked at James, his brows knitted in confusion. “How do you know that?” 

James gulped, avoiding Sirius’ gaze. “I kind of bumped into her a few minutes ago when I went to find the trolley witch.” 

“What did you do, Prongs?” Remus asked from beside Sirius. 

“Uh, so...InearlytoppledheroverandIheldherwaistsoshedidn’tfall.”

Remus raised a brow. “What?” 

James cleared his throat. “I nearly toppled her over, and I held her waist so she wouldn’t fall.”

“What the hell, Prongs!? You put your filthy hooves on my little sister!” Sirius exclaimed, his eyes widening in annoyance.

James held up his hands in defense. “I didn’t mean to! It was an accident, I swear!” 

Remus snorted. “Hooves? Really?”

Sirius huffed and crossed his arms, a scowl etched onto his lips. “I'm serious—don't you dare use my own pun at me, James! Keep your filthy hands to yourself when it comes to my sister!”

James nodded sheepishly, raising his hands up in defense. “Alright, alright!”

“I should talk to her, shouldn’t I?” Sirius mumbled, his eyes softening and the scowl replaced by a sad frown.

“Yeah, Padfoot, you should. She loves you, and she just wants to know you’re okay,” James said, placing a hand on Sirius’ shoulder.  

Sirius nodded, making up his mind. “Yeah, I’ll do it. I need to let her know that I’m alright.” 

“You have a few more hours to think about what you’re going to tell Y/n and Regulus,” Remus said, a smile on his lips. “They’ll understand; don't worry.”

Sirius sighed, knowing all too well that it wasn’t going to be easy to reach out to his siblings. “I hope they will.”

The Great Hall was bustling with the loud chatter of the students catching up about the holidays. Y/n Black slumped over the Slytherin table, completely forgetting the etiquette lessons she had been forced to learn from her mother for the past years of her life. The youngest Black daughter was in no mood to talk about her holidays, given what happened on Christmas night. 

“Y/n, come on, just eat something,” Pandora Rosier, your best friend, urged you to eat.

“I don’t want to,” you grumbled, your lips curling into a frown. 

Your friends had been pleading with you for the past fifteen minutes to eat, but you weren’t really in the mood for anything apart from walking back to your dorm room and just going ahead and sleeping the rest of the night away. 

“Starlight, please,” Regulus pleaded, his eyes filled with concern. You sighed, rolling your eyes, before grabbing a pumpkin pasty from the plate in front of you and taking a bite. “Happy?” 

Regulus groaned, fighting the urge to smile at his sister. “Just eat the damn pasty.” 

"So, Y/n, have you finished all of your homework?” Dorcas Meadowes, another one of your best friends, asked. 

“Of course I did,” you said matter-of-factly. “Mother would kill me if I didn’t.”

Dorcas snorted. “Your mother is quite charming, isn’t she?” 

“She isn’t charming, Dorcas,” Pandora chimed in, her brows knitted in confusion. “Mrs. Black is a terrible woman.” 

“It’s sarcasm, Pands." Dorcas rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her pumpkin juice. 

“Oi, that’s still our mother,” Regulus said, glaring at the two girls. 

“Oh please, Reggie, you and I both know that Mother is a high class bitch.” You chuckled, playfully tossing crumbs of the pasty at Regulus. 

Regulus playfully scowled, feigning offense. “Oi, quit throwing crumbs at me!”

“I think your family is probably one of the most dysfunctional families I’ve ever seen.” Dorcas quipped, amusement evident in her eyes. 

You laughed, shaking your head. “You have no idea.”

Suddenly, the loud chatter died down to hush whispers. You turned around and saw Sirius walking in with his friends trailing behind him, his head held high as his eyes searched the Great Hall until they landed on you. 

Sirius gave you a small smile before making his way towards the Slytherin table. “Can we talk?” 

Regulus scowled, his fists clenching involuntarily. “No, go away-”

“Shut up, Regulus!” you hissed, kicking him from under the table. You turned to face your eldest brother. “How nice of you to finally reach out, Sirius,” you said, your voice laced with anger you couldn't stop from spilling out.

Sirius flinched at the harshness of your voice; he had never seen his sister look so angry. “Can we please just talk?” Sirius pleaded, his eyes filled with guilt. “Please, starlight, give me a chance.” 

Starlight. You sighed, the nickname tugging on your heartstrings. “Alright, let’s talk then.” You stood up and walked past Sirius, Regulus following closely behind.

Sirius led you and Regulus into an empty classroom, where the three of you settled in. Silence hung in the air, and tension was building between the three of you. “I’m sorry,” Sirius began, his voice filled with regret. “I shouldn’t have left like that; I was just so overwhelmed, and I didn’t know what else to do.”

Regulus crossed his arms over his chest, his lips pressed into a tight line. “You left because you were weak.” 

Sirius sighed at Regulus’ words, but he nodded, acknowledging the truth. “I know, Reggie, and I’m so sorry.”

You sighed, feeling hurt. “You hurt both of us, Sirius. You didn’t even let us know if you were alright—I was worried sick about you!” 

“I know, starlight, and I regret it every day since I left. It was never my intention to hurt either of you.” Sirius admitted, his eyes filled with remorse. 

“So, are you coming back home?” You asked, a hopeful look in your eyes. 

Sirius’ eyes darkened for a split second. “No, I’m not going back to that hell hole.’’

“Then what’s the point of apologising, Sirius?” Regulus spat. “You can't just leave us and expect us to be okay with it!”

“But-” Sirius started, but Regulus scoffed loudly, cutting him off. “You are a coward, Sirius. You turn your back on your family and then expect us to just forgive you?”

Sirius sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “I know I can’t expect forgiveness; I don’t deserve it. But I want you to know that I am always going to be your brother, no matter what.”

Regulus scoffed, standing up from his chair. “I don’t need you as my brother.”

You sighed, feeling conflicted between your brothers. You wanted so badly to forgive Sirius, but a part of you was agreeing with Regulus. He can't just leave and expect us to be okay with it. “So what? You’re just going to live with the Potters and forget about us?” 

“Yes, but-” 

“No, stop before you make yourself sound shallower than you already are.” you interrupted, shaking your head. “I just don’t understand, Sirius. The three of us, we’ve been through so much together, and then just like that, you left us. You left me.” 

“Starlight, please….” Sirius begged, stepping closer to you. But you stepped away, unable to look him in the eye.

“You made your bed, Sirius.” You choked out a sob. “Lie in it.”

Sirius hung his head in shame as he watched you leave the classroom. Regulus gave him a final glare before following after you. Sirius sat alone in the empty classroom, feeling the weight of his decisions. 

He lost his brother, he lost his sister, he lost his family.

@helens3amstuff @gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @lovemelikecrazyiloveyoucrazy @tchalamss @ashlynnmalfoy @crazycat-ladys-blog @michakune @mxltifxnd0m @spencerr3idd @dangelnleif @sthkate @ferrjulie @imnotoverlyobsessive @mel-vaz @elsagreeer @lovely-maryj @meowmeowmau @bobthe-turmpetman29 @saintcosette @ashisabitgay @ladyladybuggg @nyrasunderwrld @lilmaymayy @remussbitch @jadahxx @starrystormwritings @ell0ra-br3kk3r @dreary-salem @drewsandsebastianswife @greenapplegrass @lilianelena39 @danni-phant0m @haybellewrites @cloudlst @si4a @ev3ningrain @ttulipwritezz @bullets-from-another-dimension @siriuslycaptainofthedawntreader @reg-arcturus-black @abruuinlove @marina468 @3stelar @timhalamet @st4rf00k3r @idli-dosa @jimins15thhair @blacksgarden

[pinievsev]

I'm going to start sobbing. I wore the whole fucking thing and I tried to save it as a draft but it didn't fucking save! Anyways! Here I go again!

!Remus lupin x reader here!

----------------------

Sirius black X GN!Reader

FAMILY!

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Warnings; slight mention of abuse, not proof read. Fluffy fluff!

Again before we start!

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You walked around the grounds of hogwarts, your jacket tightly wrapped around you, the snow falling on your beanie, changing it's crimson colour to an almost white. You had stayed at Hogwarts for Christmas, your parents had to visit some distant relatives and you couldn't go back and stay alone. The rest of your friend group has gone homs, except for Sirius. As you walked, you heard sniffling coming from behind a pillar.

As you approached the sound, you found it to be familiar, as you peaked through the pillar, you spotted Sirius, your best friend and long time crush since sitting year (you're now in your fifth) sitting there on the ankle deep snow, only wearing his uniform. His tie undone, loosely hanging around his neck as he shivered and sobbed, his face red from the cold. You quickly walked over, kneeling down beside him and slipping off your jacket, Handing it to him. He went to protest, but you beat him to it "Pads come on. You'll freeze to death out here, let's get you back to the common room" you helped him up, and led him inside.

You walked in silence through the basically empty halls of hogwarts, stopping by the kitchens to get him some hot chocolate on the way despite his protests. You handed him the mug, getting one for yourself just so he would accept. You'd never seen him this way, the lover boy of the school, wrapped up in your jacket sniffling.

As you neared the gryffindor tower, you spoke "You wanna talk about it?" He shook his head "Just, just my family again is all.." you noticed his voice breaking at the word family but you didn't push. That's what he liked about you. The way you understood him. The way you never pushed anyone and the way you always respected everyone's boundaries all while still trying to help them, even when you didn't know what the problem was. Finally, you entered the common room, which to no surprise was empty, ignoring the fat ladies calls and questions as to why "Mr. Black looked like a mess" according to her.

You took off your beanie and shoes, sitting down on the couch, Sirius following. You sat there for a moment, sipping on your drinks, you watched as he zoned out, the red colour of his face slowly disappearing "You know what.... Maybe I should talk about it" you nodded "Only if you want to pads. I'm listening tho" he turned his body to look at you "I... I got a howler again." He took a deep breath "I've- I got disowned" your eyes widened, as you placed your mug down, his eyes were glistening from the dim lighting of the room still, the way he looked at you, waiting for a reply of sorts broke your heart.

"Sirius I... I'm sorry" he went to speak, but you cut him off "I'm sorry. You don't, you don't deserve this pads. None of it, the way they treat you. Everything you've told us it's just-" you couldn't find the right word to describe how disgusting the way the blacks treated him was. "I just, I hope you know that, no matter what. You'll always have a family. The Potters, the lupins even! All of us, me, James, Remus, Peter, lily. I could go on..." You turned to look at him fully, only now realising how close you were. Both your breaths hitched, you, without thinking, reached over and wiped his tears, keeping your hand there for a few seconds.

"Thank you..." He finally said, hugging you. He felt safe with you. Someone who understood him. He felt like he could let his guard down, show vulnerability. And so he did, the second you hugged him back, he broke down clinging to you. You calmed the boy down. pulling away to look at him "you alright pads?" He didn't answer, debating whether or not he should do it. "Sirius?" Nothing. Just as you opened your mouth to speak again he leaned over kissing you. You returned the favour kissing him back. "You're too good" you shook your head "No, I'm not. No one can be too good" you kissed the side of his lips once more pulling him to you "Feeling any better?" He nodded into your chest, you heard him yawn and layed back. 'what the hell just happened..?' was the last thing you both thought about as you drifted off to sleep hugged by your unnecessarily oversized jacket

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Finally, It's not half as good as the other one I had made but like I said. I lost it for some reason! See you next time<3!

[sorendeimos]

Some of the fics I’m working on

Enjoy some snippets of the fics I'm working on below! Most of these are Explicit or Mature due to multiple reasons, from sexual themes to graphic violence to just being heavy and difficult to wade through topics. Please read ahead and speculate with that in mind!

Eternal Damnation, Explicit, (Sexual)

The soul between them looked back down at his mangled corpse in front of Them all, at the crowd gathering around the mutilated bag of broken bones and bleeding flesh, at the bus he had been pushed in front of by his sobbing friends nearby. “Do I get to pick where I go?” He asked softly, and his voice shook a bit, as if he were scared of the answer. The two men looked at each other over his head, locking gazes, before Severus waved a hand coated in pitch and sharply clawed in dismissal. Lupin smiled a dazzling, straight and white smile back that had the other man rolling his eyes. “Of course you can, sweet soul. There’s no reason you couldn’t, really. It explains why both of us got the same assignment,” Lupin reached his own hand, stark white and finely manicured, into his waistcoat pocket to extract the golden watch. He gazed down at the face, clicked his tongue, and snapped it closed. He spoke as he placed it back away. “We should make this quick, however, as you may fade within, say, an hour.” “An hour and a half by My estimation.” “And you’ve never been wrong before, isn’t that right, Severus?” Lupin drawled, trailing his golden gaze back to lock with the narrowed one looking at him. “That was one time,” Severus hissed between clenched teeth, lips curling back in a snarl that showed off sharp pointed fangs. “So he’s the angel? I thought… well… I-it’s just.”

Becoming God, Severus POV, Mature (Heavy Themes. Sexual)

I have never been a privileged child. I never grew up with the assurance that my parents loved me and would protect and defend me to the ends of the earth. I grew up with no such illusions that this was a reality I lived within because if it were, She wouldn’t have cowered when he turned his attentions from beating Me for the infraction of the hour to Her. She would have already been between us, defending Me as best She could have. That doesn’t mean I don’t love them. As much as I hate to say that, I love them and I wish they were better. I wish that the God My father so ardently claims to worship would fix him so he was kind, or simply smite him dead. But God doesn’t exist, so I suppose I will have to take matters into My own hands.

Becoming God, Sirius POV, Mature (Heavy Themes, Sexual)

It is never easy to let go of your own upbringing. It’s never simple to accept who you are in the face of family looking down on you and sneering at what you’ve become, despite their best efforts to make you something - someone - that you aren’t. And by God did they try. Mother poked and prodded, snipped with words laced with poison meant to erode away all the “unseemly behaviours for someone of our ilk, Sirius” that came with being myself. But She never succeeded, and it was the worst day of My life when She said She had no eldest son. When She disowned Me and blasted My name off the family tree as I ran from home. It was also the best day of My life because I was finally free.

Coping, Lucius Chapter, Explicit (Sexual)

“This is unhealthy, Severus. Look at what I do to you.” Lucius ran soft fingers over the bruised flesh of Severus’ wrists. He pressed a kiss to one, then the other, and sighed. “You won’t let Me heal these, will you?” “Of course not, they’re to remind Me.” “Of what?” “That I’m alive.”

Mr. Loverman, Mature (Graphic Violence)

“Last chance.” Harry says, his eyes are dead, no longer sparkling green but flat and dangerous. He hasn’t been the same since Draco. The man panics, thrashing in the chair and trying to shake Harry off. He screams, yells that he knows nothing, that he wasn’t there, that he never hated Draco, that he wasn’t even in the country, anything to get Harry to hear him. By the time Harry is done with Pucey, the man has no teeth, a broken jaw, and the fear of one Harry James Potter engraved into his bones. He turns himself in for the list of charges the DMLE has on him two days later when the jaw pain becomes unbearable, and sobs with relief when they fix it. He refuses to give Harry up. He thanks them when they escort him to Azkaban, and he sobs when they lock him into his cell.

I hope you all look forward to these pieces! Any ideas or speculations on the storylines are ALWAYS welcome, though I reserve the right to confirming or denying them!

[therealrjlupin]

Lily and Sirius- ‘I’ll be your sister now”

Sirius pulls Lily into a hug, he hates seeing her crying on her wedding day, and resists the urge to joke that he would be crying too if he had to marry James Potter.

"I can't believe she would say those things, and disown me as her sister at my own wedding," Lily sobs into Sirius's chest, as he strokes her hair, giving her comfort while James is yelling at Petunia's husband in the car park.

"Shhh, I know, it's awful, but I'll be your sister now, and you'll never lose us as family," Sirius promises her, causing Lily to give a shaky laugh.

[seriouslysam8]

2022 Wrapped

Tagged by @takearisk-ao3

Post the top 5 works you're most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular)

1 Backstabber

It was by far my most angsty story. It was by far my most cherished story. I loved writing every single second of it as my heart broke over and over and over again.

2 Basorexia

It was just a fun one-shot where I got to explore so many POVs that I’ve never written before.

3 Effloresce

It was so borderline AU that it really gave me the courage and confidence to go full blown AU. It was such a fun Hinny story.

4 Scones

Because James Sirius is a little shit and Ginny would love her hectic Mother’s Days.

5 Brumous

I would put this higher but I legit just started it. It’s a pet project I’ve thought about for YEARS and now I’m finally writing it. It’s gone through a lot of drafts in my head of where I’d start the divergence and what would happen, but I’m rather pleased with it so far.

your top 4 current WIPs that you're excited to release in the new year

1 Precipice

This story is really going to tear my action-writing skills but I am so excited for it. It’s really unique and I haven’t read anything like it before. You know I strive for unique. I’m excited to show my new Horcrux traps and how Ginny falls off the deep end.

2 Bête Noire

This is such a self-indulgent story. It’s no secret Sirius is my favorite character and I haven’t been shy about how I hate how he’s portrayed a lot of the time. So I’m excited to really give him a strong trauma background with this story

3 Thrice

I have a few short stories planned in the first war. One of them is a short 4-chapter story about the three times Jily defied Voldemort. The last chapter is pure fluff of Harry being born and then the prophecy coming to light - so the consequences of defying him thrice

4 Lacuna

My year after the war story that went from canon compliant to AU compliant. I’m not sure if I’ll get to it next year, but here’s to hoping!

your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year

1 Better charts

I have finally found a way to organize my many charts so I can easily find information while writing to keep it all consistent from story-to-story

2 Branching Out on POVs

I started out just exclusively writing Harry and Ginny POVs. Over the last year, I’ve really juggled different POVs and converging those POVs together to tell cohesive stories where you see the action from multiple angles. That’s been hard yet fun

3 Getting better at writing action scenes

I still have panic attacks when I have to write an action scene but I don’t spend nearly as much time or agonize over them as much. I’m really trying not to freak out over them and I’m told I’m decent. But that might just be people being nice to me because they know I’m a weeper.

your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year

1 To write what I want to write and not be influenced by outside sources. I just need to tell the stories I want to tell and say fuck it to the haters and the people telling me they dislike my direction that I’m going. I need to stop listening to people who try to force me to write something I don’t want to write. I love prompts and people leaving their ideas in reviews as long as there is no pressure to write it. But I just felt a lot of pressure last year and writing became not so much fun.

2 Just to have my confidence in general. I worry sometimes my ideas aren’t good or I shouldn’t write certain plots because I’m worried people won’t like them. I almost deleted my Fleamont POV in Bête Noire and Bell basically said she’d disown me if I did. So yeah, just more confidence.

and your number 1 favorite line you've written this year

Uh… how about speech? Full quote? Sirius’ latest mental break in Brumous had me sobbing.

Sirius laughed, his head shaking. "Yeah, I could have my life back. That's fucking hilarious, you know that, right? I have a bounty over my head for thirteen murders I didn't commit. One of the victims isn't even ruddy dead! I'm stuck in a house I vowed to never return to. I've buried the only parents I ever knew, buried my only true brother and his wife, and have a godson who is wanted by a fucking psychopath! Nothing about my life right now is normal or easy and I certainly can't go back to the person I was fourteen years ago. That Sirius is dead. He died the summer his girlfriend was supposedly murdered. The nail in the coffin hit as soon as he saw his best mate cold on the fucking floor of his house. I can't have my life back, Andy, because that life doesn't fucking exist anymore." - Brumous, Chapter Eight: Occlumency

Tagging

@bellmel @ginwiz @curse-04

Ignore any and all spelling mistakes. I don’t want to be up this late. 😭😭😭

[siriuslystargazing]

You're a Jinx! | Chapter 2

Chapter 2 already??? Chapter 1 is here bestie

You can also read it here on my AO3

it's getting a little darker now

The hours had morphed into days that turned into weeks since Sirius left. Regulus was invited back down for dinner again though it never ended well. Without fail, a majestic Eurasian Eagle-Owl landed on Orion's ornate dining chair, dropping a black envelope in front of him.  Regulus balled his hands into fists. Whatever that letter said, it won't end well for him. He scanned the table where his father sat, watching his sloppy drunken movements closely as he ripped the ornate envelope open, pulling out the dyed parchment (Bellatrix had gone to Lucious and borrowed his stationary, it seemed). Regulus looked down at the ivory napkin on his lap and then back to his parents. Their attention was on the letter, good. Regulus skilfully pushed the vegetables and the chicken breast onto his lap, folding it into the napkin and pocketing the goods ready for a quick exit. Orion’s grip on the letter tightened, crumpling it under his grasp. “Well?” Walburga hissed, setting down her fork, causing Regulus to flinch a little. Orion huffed, bringing his empty hand to his face, calculating his words with a smirk. As a punishment, Orion was thinking of a way to punish Sirius. “It seems the heir has decided to disown his family” Regulus stiffened at his fathers' calm and humorous tone, and Walburga beard her teeth. “it claims that he was born to the wrong family; how interesting wouldn’t you agree, Reggie?”  Orion drawled, sipping from his goblet, watching Regulus intently.  

Breathe, just breathe. In and out. Regulus played over the mantra in his head, his gaze fixed on the goblin's hand-painted on the dining room china; he can’t make a scene here, not yet. But the impulsive action spoke louder “your lying”, Regulus mumbled, his body shaking with rage. 

“Speak up, boy!” Orion sneered; his features morphed into a rage; Regulus knew that rage. He has a tiny ember of it in him, same with Sirius. It was a horrible, terrible feeling. “YOUR LYING!” Regulus bellowed, standing from his chairs. The palms of his hands burned as he slammed them onto the black mahogany table. “You're a Lier! Sirius loves me” Regulus didn’t sob; it was just pure rage. He never cried in front of his parents. He would never let them have that luxury of seeing his tears.  Walburga cackled. “Loves you?” a horrible toothy smile played on her lips. “Unless your name changed, I don't believe he cares for you anymore, pity.” she looked at Regulus with disdain. Orion smiled. “If you don’t believe me, why not see for yourself” Orion flung the letter down the table. It skittered in front of Regulus, who picked it up, slumping back in his chair and reading the letter: 

Dear Uncle Orion and Aunt Walburga, 

I write that my cousin, Sirius, has decided to associate himself with half-breeds and traitors and, since this morning, has decided they are his new family. He even declared the Potter boy as his new brother! I do hope this doesn't upset little Reggie. His behaviour around the school is unruly, and he is often in detention, but I assume great-grandfather Phineas must have told you! 

I must go  

Love Bellatrix  

Regulus' breathing got faster again as he ground his teeth. He let the letter drop onto the table, picked up his knife and slammed it into the letter piercing the table. Walburga whipped her head around to her son, glaring at him. “That is MAHOGANY!” Regulus wanted to scream, but he couldn't. He was the ever-so-quiet one. Instead, he swiped the table, his plate crashing to the floor and ran to his room. Blacks always had an aura of drama. 

Sirius never knew you could smile when you woke up before you went to sleep or just smile for more than a brief moment in a world of so many negative things. It was coming to the end of October Halloween was days away, meaning his birthday was even sooner. But he couldn't stop smiling. His cheeks started to hurt by week two of school now he thinks he will never stop smiling until a letter comes. The young Ural Owl swooped into the great hall the morning before Halloween. Perching on the porridge ladle, the owl chirped, and Sirius’ smile finally dropped. One month and 29 days took for Regulus to write to Sirius. Sirius had yet to pen a letter to Regulus. James and Remus watched as Sirius took the letter from the owl tracing the wax seal stamp. Sirius let go of his breath, prying the envelope open; truthfully, Sirius had not thought about home or Regulus. However, he didn't blame his little brother for jinxing him. But Sirius couldn’t bring himself to thank him either. The parchment was littered with doodles and crumpled in places where tears had stained the page. 

Sirius. 

I’m Sorry I Jinxed you.  I hope school is fun.  Bellatrix is telling lies to Mother and Father; please tell me you still care. I miss you lots. The house is colder without you, and Mother says you're not allowed home for yule. Please write back soon. 

R.A.B  

P.S. Are we still brothers? 

Sirius remained unphased by the letter, years of schooling his features into a blank expression unreadable by the most observant eyes. James took a sharp breath deciding to break the silence, “Well? Is it good or bad news?” Sirius looked up and over at his two friends. “Fine, it seems I'll be spending the holidays here”, Sirius forced a persuasive smile. Remus's eyes softened. “That's terrible, Sirius. Is your brother going to be okay,” the scared boy asked. Sirius folded the parchment pocketing it. “Of course, He’s tougher than he thinks” James purses his lips, giving him a look that says if you say so, mate. Not quite fully believing Sirius.  

Regulus stayed in his room more often than expected. When it dawned on him that it was Christmas day, he still refused to leave his room. None of his family that visited cared. They all assumed he was a jinx and left him alone, apart from Andromeda. Andy was adamant about seeing her younger cousin, it wasn’t to check if he was alive, but the slight nagging feeling in her head had to be soothed with just seeing if he was. Regulus was Schrodinger’s cat. Narcissa had joked about it with Bellatrix but was quickly scolded by their father for engaging in silly muggle theories. Andromeda reached Regulus’ room. She knocked, opening the door to find Regulus perched on his window sill, staring at Grimmauld Gardens. Snow was falling, reminding him of a snow globe Sirius had found outside and gifted.  

“Why are you here? Haven’t you heard I'm a jinx” Regulus drawled. “Strange you don’t look like a black cat but sure do have the temperament of one”, Andromeda smiled. Her humour was always quick and dry. It's why Regulus liked her more than Narcissa. Speaking of the beauty, she was lingering at Regulus's door like a bad smell. “Hello, Sissy.”   

“Oh, so he does speak; Bella and I were wondering if you had died up here. Shame I was half hoping you had so that we had a chance at being the heir.” 

“Alphard would never let a woman be heir, and you know it”, Andromeda said, sitting on Regulus' bed. “I brought you some food, Sirius-” 

“don’t say that name!” Regulus snapped, closing his poetry book. “Don’t mention that name here!” Andromeda straightened on the bed. Narcissa decided to close the bedroom door; privacy is a luxury, and she knew they needed it. Narcissa had the foresight for delicate matters like these. She is a pretty face, but underneath the platinum blond curls and steely grey eyes was a calculating mind that knew how to defuse any situation. Entirely invisible, her mother commented that she is the model wife for any family, quiet and busy, who would have a house with ears always listening. No secret would escape her. But the other reason she closed that door was to stop more rumours from spreading. It was terrible enough that Bellatrix was batshit crazy, Andromeda still had red handprints around her neck from one of Bella’s outbursts, and Narcissa had a burn along her breast bone for being too pretty, and above it all that was the curse of being a black it seemed, for every sane individual there will always be a slightly insane one to follow.   

‘and did Sirius tell you this himself?” Narcissa asked, inching closer to the younger boy. A calculated response, Narcissa knew the telltale signs of one of these outbursts. Ragged breathing eyes darting back and forth between real and fake, Andromeda caught on as  Regulus began to shake, his breathing going ragged. “No... but Bellatrix-” 

“-Is a no good lier and a snitch” Andromeda stood from her spot; Narcissa, a foot shorter than her sister, looked up at her making sure they were on the same page. Mission: calm Regulus down. Narcissa pulled a letter from her pocket. Regulus observed her. “What is that?” he asked with childlike curiosity. This? Oh, it’s a gift For you from Sirius,” Narcissa stated, handing the letter over. Regulus snatched it, tearing it open. Andromeda looked at her sister  using hushed words, “Did you read it ?” Narcissa shook her head. “No, I'm hoping it won't set him off” Andromeda let out a noise as Regulus devoured the letter. The silence was thick and unreadable; Andromeda was the first to move, placing a delicate hand on Regulus' shoulder to test the waters of his mind. “Well? What does it say” Narcissa was the first to bite; Andromeda shot her a motherly glare that earned a staple of Narcissa's eye-roll as she waded over to the windowsill, sitting next to her cousin. The three read over the letter. 

Reggie 

I’m sorry I haven't written to you. I was having so much fun! I can’t wait for you to join me at school. I think you will like it a lot here. Especially the astronomy tower! I hope mother and father are treating you well and you're getting enough food. At school, we get three meals a day! My favourite so far is this stew they make with dumplings. I think you will like it and we always get pudding! I had an extra slice of chocolate cake that I would send you, but it was too good to ship with an owl. I promise I will bring a whole cake when I come home in the summer! And we can eat it in the linen room, I have to go now, but my friends James, Remus and Peter all say hello and can’t wait to meet you! 

I love you and miss you so much,  

S.O.B 

P.S You will always be my brother 

Regulus took every word on the parchment; Sirius was okay and having fun. That was okay, right? Voices stirred in his head “he’s having fun without you,” “Perhaps it's for the better that you don't see him”, “he doesn't deserve fun for leaving you” Regulus felt the pull on his mind as he followed the melodic voices further and further down. But then a light shone behind him, a more pleasant voice breaking through. “See, Reggie Sirius is okay, and he can’t wait to see you”, Andromeda spoke to him. 

“As we said, Bella is just trying to cause problems. Like always, she has to make everything about her,” Narcissa drawled, tightening the black bow in her hair. Regulus folded the letter pressing it between the pages of the journal he was working on. The three of them stayed in blissful silence. Each would not delve into why they wanted to escape their family, but it was clear to anyone who would open the door. Narcissa didn’t wish the prying eyes of her great uncle Araticus on her again. He was 70 years old, widowed and obsessed with her. Andromeda just wanted away from Bellatrix and her shrill cackling. Since Bella laid her hands on Andromeda, she tried to stay as far away from her as humanly possible.  

“Andy?” Regulus started; Andromeda hummed as she brushed her sister's hair fixing the bow. “Is it my fault that Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor? Am I really a jinx?” Andromeda sighed motherly and then looked over at Regulus. “No, the hole-sorting thing? It's just ridiculous. The family is just ridiculous, Reggie, don’t worry, in my eyes, you're not a Jinx-” The door to Regulus' room opened, and Alphard peered in. “So this is where everyone is hiding”, he smiled.  

Shit. 

The three young Blacks knew something was wrong. It was common knowledge that every member of the family had something wrong with them. If you were to do a scientific study on them, it would boil down to inbreeding. But the magical explanation is the fact that the family was sort of cursed. Alphard's curse was that he had lucid memories and wasn’t all there some days, and if you had been in the family for more than three days, you knew the telltale signs that he looked happy to see people. He was, in fact, lucid. Regulus watched as Alphard slipped into the room like a rebellious teenager again. “Hello, uncle”, Narcissa said sweetly. “What brings you up here” She tucks in her legs, watching Alphard's movements closely. “I overheard you talking about Sirius. Is he doing okay?” 

“Yes, he sent a letter” Regulus knew better than to push Alphard when he was lucid, but he was hungry and hadn't had much to eat the past few days. “Am I invited to do dinner?” Andromeda stiffened. Alphard let out a chuckle flopping onto Regulus's bed. “Why wouldn’t you be? Orion, I’m not in charge of the family yet.” this is bad. Andromeda stared at Regulus with pleading eyes, begging him not to push it. But that was how Regulus was cursed; he could switch between a child, a calm calculation genius and a third option only a few people had ever seen. Right now, Regulus was calm and calculated, a personality that he started to develop since Sirius had left. This armour was his newest against his family, and Andromeda was scared, but Narcissa was curious to see how he would use it. 

Bellatrix is such a bitch right? anyway my ask box is open and you can send me requests if you want :) chapter 3 coming soon

read the drabble that inspired this here

[jasonpeterdrake]

Stages

    There could be no contest; Halloween 1981 was simply always going to be the worst day of Sirius' life. But the second worst day? That was up for debate. It could be the night he was disowned and, still sobbing, still wracked with pain from the cruciatus curse, crawled through his best friend's floo. It could be his first day in Azkaban. The reality of thick bars slammed shut, of air almost too icy-sad to breathe, was enough to shake anybody. But it was neither of those.

I.    Sirius paced in his tiny, damp cell. The smell of mould fought with the frigid sea air coming through the high window. This was all a fucking mistake. James and Lily couldn't-. He stopped. The grief was too raw and to think of them would be to drown in it. But surely his friends, the few still alive anyway, would see that this was all a mistake. Dumbledore, maybe. Or surely Remus, his sweet lovely Moony, would be coming for him soon. For days, he paced as an animal in a cage. Certainly there would be no small matter of red tape and bureaucracy. He expected Moony was arse-deep in paperwork, working to get him out. That would be it. Then they could go home where everything would be right again. Long nights in bed followed by even longer lie-ins with Remus. Missions with James and narrow scrapes and laughing through their fear.

II.    But there would be no more missions with James, no more of Lily's Sunday roasts, no more anything, all because of that fucking rat. Sirius picked up the small wooden stool that was the only furnishing in his sparsely appointed cell, and he smashed it against the wall. He continued smashing it against the wall until it was little more than kindling for a fire he sorely wished to have. A fire where he could roast Peter's bones, the traitorous bastard. His own best friends! How could he sell them out, how could he orphan a baby he had watched grow? No more playing with Harry and Jamie in the garden, and worse, it was getting harder to even think of such rosy memories. The dementors couldn't take his rage away from him though, and he spent weeks simmering in it.  Marinating on all the things his former friend deserved, he waited for Remus to come.

III.     Of course, there was his own blame to face in all of this. If he'd been nicer to Peter- or just more attentive. Sirius should have seen him for what he was, should have seen it as far back as their school days. He'd said it the day he was arrested and it was still true. James and Lily were dead because of him. If only he'd insisted, Fidelius be damned, on going round for dinner that night. If only he hadn't been so fucking sneaky and impressed with his own cleverness. Nobody would suspect little Peter, and neither had he. The worst mistake of his life had been trusting the rat with his family's lives. But Remus had always been forgiving of his mistakes. No matter how badly he fucked up, even if it took some time... Time Moony was clearly taking now. If only he could apologise.

IV.     Months marched on and as best as Sirius could tell, spring was- well, not in the air. That was as bitingly cold as ever, but the daylight that filtered in through the high window was lasting longer. He found he didn't give much of shit. What did it matter if the fucking flowers bloomed somewhere in England, when James wasn't there to pick them, when Lily wasn't there to put them on her table. He thought vaguely that perhaps this was how dementors were born, when their aura sank too deeply into one's skin. Even Padfoot wasn't an escape. The dog burrowed into what little straw bedding he had. There he slept, and slept, and slept. There he didn't sleep at all, and stared at the wall until his eyes burned. There he felt too numb to cry, and hadn't the energy to shift back to do it anyway. There he had a revelation.

V.     Moony wasn't coming. The realisation hit him like a bludger. Remus wasn't coming. Remus wasn't at the ministry demanding hearings and trials, or tied up in paperwork. He wasn't going to come storming through the doors of his cell block with Dumbledore hot on his tail, demanding Sirius' release. Remus was likely at home, and if he thought of Sirius at all, it was only to wonder how he could have been so stupid as to fall in love with a murderer. Remus thought he did it. On the second worst day of his short and painful life, Sirius Black accepted that he was in prison, and he was alone.

[cassieb1617]

Dramatic💌

Pairing: Dad!Sirius Black x daughter!reader, Background Fred Weasley x fem!Black!reader

Fluff/humour

Summary: Sirius found out about his daughter’s boyfriend, Fred Weasley.

Warnings: absent mother; mentions of death; I think that’s all

A/N: My daddy issues got the best of me; *slight AU where Sirius didn’t go to Azkaban. Otherwise I guess it wouldn’t make sense.

The people from the noble and most ancient house of Black were frightened witches and wizards. Be it the cold gaze they have on their face or that they were known for their interest and participating in dark and borderline illegal magic. Maybe it was the almost emotionless grey eyes that were a signature look or the way they glare at people like they were killing them. The Blacks were, all in all, not very pleasant people to be around. Though, of course, there were exceptions. Such as Andromeda Tonks née Black, who got disowned for marrying a muggleborn, Ted Tonks. Or Sirius Black, who got disowned for befriending and communicating to half-bloods, muggle-born and blood-traitor.

But if asking around Hogwarts in 1995 you would get the answer that it was the sweet, quiet but charming (y/h), (y/n) Black. Daughter of Sirius Black and an one night stand he can’t remember. Nonetheless Sirius loved her like he did no one else. She was her father’s pride and happiness. Never had Sirius felt such love and admiration for somebody. And (y/n) felt no different towards him. Since she can remember it was always her father and herself. Her mother was never in the picture so Sirius took care of her alongside her uncle Moony and James and Lily. After the tragedy in 1981 the picture changed. Then it was just Sirius, Remus, little Harry and (y/n). It was when she got older that she knew what happened. So when (y/n) had to go to Hogwarts Sirius was practically sobbing and Harry cried because she left while Remus just rolled his eyes at their unnecessarily dramatics, although he had slipped a few tears as well.

Now it was july 1995 and the Order of the phoenix was staying in 12 Grimmauld place, a place Sirius despised. He loathed that house and wished that his little princess, (y/n), never had to face such an cruel place. But alas he couldn’t help it. It was the safest place they could be now Voldemort starts to rise again. While the order meetings were held there, the two Blacks, the Weasley family, Harry, Hermione and Remus had to live there, the rest left after a meeting, gladly leaving the hateful walls. But with the Blacks living there it meant that (y/n) was living there and with the Weasleys it meant Fred was living there. The pair of them started dating in their sixth year when he asked her to accompany him to the ball and she said yes, now it was their seventh year and they were still as happy. There was just the teenie tiny problem that neither Sirius or Remus or the Weasley parents knew of them. It just never came up so they didn’t tell them.

Remus started noticing things. Like how close the two of them sat at dinner table or how the both of them were completely ignoring everyone else when talking to each other. Or how disgustingly often they laughed with each other. He knew the two were close from when he himself was a teacher at hogwarts but not this close. They didn’t randomly whispered things in each other’s ear and then giggling about it. Well, it did happen but it was never this intimate. So naturally one day after dinner he told them to wait and asked them about it. The two teenagers agreed that they wouldn’t deny it when asked, frankly they didn’t hide their relationship but knowing her father and his dramatics they didn’t announce it either. Her father was a Black as much as he wants to argue with that, in the end he got some characteristics from them. Such as being dramatic. (Y/n) was like that as well but she would never admit it.

Remus and the young couple, in the end, decided on not telling Sirius about it. They would wait until he would find it out himself and knowing him, even though being incredibly smart, he was utterly oblivious when it came to such things with his little star.

It didn’t take that much longer for Sirius to find out. Only a few days later when he found them cuddling on the couch with her head on his chest and his arms around her. And Sirius, being Sirius, had to throw an overly dramatic tantrum about it. It was an loud scream that woke up the whole house in the early hours of the morning, a scream like someone had just stabbed Sirius in his leg.

“WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!” An obvious shocked Sirius shouted in the middle of the night, the others already downstairs, wand in hand. Upon seeing that Sirius was just dramatic though, only Remus, Arthur, Molly and George stayed, the first named to help solve this out, the two eldest redhairs because they wanted to know what was going on between the Black heiress and their son and the latter just to see and enjoy the show. Bless him, he will probably tell that story his future children.

“Sirius, must you be so loud? You woke everyone up.” The lycanthrope said. “Remus, do you- do you see this? MY little girl was attacked by that stupid ginger haired boy?!” Sirius, again, almost shouted. “Sirius, do not call my son stupid.” Molly screeched. “And I’m pretty sure he didn’t attack her. They look quiet comfy there, both of them.” Arthur added rather amused at his antics.

“Dad, why are you so bloody loud? Would you keep it down so that at least the rest can continue to sleep? And calm the hell down as well, we were just sleeping.” (Y/n) said tiredly, having not slept enough with talking to Fred in the majority of the night. “You, young lady, I told you no boys. Not until you’re at least 40 years old. So tell me why exactly you were all - all close to that redheaded boy?” Her dad fumed.

“Maybe I could explain it to you, old man, when you would let me speak.” The young Black sassed. At that, a round of chuckles were among the small group of seven, although said old man just gasped in mock offending. “Dad, Fred is my boyfriend. I’m surprised it took you that long to notice really.” She continued. At that point Sirius looked ready to faint. “No, no, no it can’t be. He can’t be your boyfriend. You’re like what? 12? You don’t know the meaning of that word. Stop saying nonsense.” Sirius mumbled loud enough for everyone to hear.

(Y/n) sighed. “Dad, I’m 17. I’m one year younger then when you got me. So stop being so overly dramatic and move on, really.” She rolled her eyes while saying this. There was a pause. You could hear a pin drop, so quiet was it. “I’m not dramatic.” Was Sirius’ only answer. Then he turned around and went to bed, muttering quiet ‘relationship my arse’s and ‘at least he has humour’s and ‘stupid ginger haired baboon’s. The three adults looked at each other, as did the two twins before looking to the grinning (y/e/c)- eyed. “He’s okay with it. He just needed to make a dramatic scene.” And with that and an “I’m happy for you, son” from arthur and an “I hope the wedding is soon” from Molly the elder couple went to bed as well.

“Good night, you three” muttered Resmus and going to bed as well. “I’m disappointed. I hoped there would be some kind of reality-show drama like in that tv thingy I’ve seen. But no just a little headshake and that was it. You, you two disgustingly happy couple, I’m ashamed. Night because I wish for you to not be it a good one.” Said George and disappearing up the stairs as well, huffing and scoffing.

The young couple looked at each other. “Well, I thought it’d be worse.” Fred said simply. “Believe me there will be in the next days more. He was just tired.” The youngest Black answered. “Good night, my love.” Fred said. “Good night, Freddie.” And with that the two happy people fell back asleep.

[brrrritscoldinhere]

hey, i love your writing and i lovee wolfstar i was wondering if you could take this prompt?

prompt:

someone says mean stuff to sirius and since its right after he was disowned, it hurt him a lot and was extremely sad (wondering why everyone seems to not like him). later when he tells remus, remus takes care of him, accidentally telling him he is in love with sirius and just them being soft and in love :)) (later remus punches that dude tho)

Omg angst + hurt and comfort yes it would be an honour to write this

CW: implied violence and minor language, h0m0ph0bic slurs (f@g)

“Fucking prick,” a Slytherin hissed, stumbling back a few steps when Sirius bumped into him. “You blind, mate?”

Sirius blew our a breath, stopping himself before he could fall over. “Sorry, didn’t see you.”

“Obviously.” The Slytherin looked up, and Sirius’ heart stopped when he recognised him: it was one of Regulus’ friends, the one who always hung around him and gave Sirius dirty looks from afar.

“Oh. Black,” the Slytherin sneered, his face twisted into something ugly. “Right in front of my eyes, a right fag, aren’t ya? How you doing, over there in Gryffindor? Fucking blood traitor. Your brother has every right to hate you. You should just piss off, mate. Nobody would miss you.”

And then he walked away, leaving Sirius to stand there, frozen.

Not his brother anymore, if I’m being honest with myself.

Was it really that bad? Being gay and being put in Gryffindor? Did it really warrant enough hate that bad by everyone else? Had it warranted enough hate from his parents to really disown him?

Sirius looked down at the books that were still at his feet, knocked out of his hands when he bumped into the Slytherin. He bent and picked them up gingerly, mind somewhere else, far away.

He entered the Gryffindor common room, immediately spotting his boyfriend on the couch. On one hand, he wanted to curl up next to Remus, for any kind of reassurance and love, but on the other hand, he didn’t want the werewolf to see him like this. Weak and nearly about to burst into tears.

Before he could do anything, though, Remus looked up from the book he was reading and immediately smiled warmly at Sirius, placing a bookmark between the pages before opening his arms for a hug. “Hey.”

Sirius walked over to him, unceremoniously dumping his own books onto the coffee table and melting into Remus’ embrace. “Hey,” he replied softly, voice shaky.

He felt the arms around him tighten. “Are you okay? You sound down.” Remus’ voice was concerned, worried. It made Sirius feel even worse.

He couldn’t handle the onslaught of emotions anymore, and promptly burst into tears, loud wails echoing around the common room. Remus tensed for a moment before the werewolf started soothing him, stroking his back and his hair and pressing kisses onto his forehead.

Sirius’ cries ceased after a few minutes — he never really could cry for too long when Remus was there to comfort him. His sobs faded into sniffles, and yet not once did Remus falter his movements.

“There we go,” the werewolf murmured. “Deep breaths, yeah?”

Sirius nodded shakily, forcing a few trembling breaths in and out. He did this for a few more minutes until he could feel himself stop trembling.

“Wanna tell me what happened?” Remus asked quietly. “Or do you just wanna sit here? I can read to you, if you’d like.”

Sirius shook his head. He should tell Remus. He deserved to know. “It’s nothing serious. Just…” He could head his voice getting shaky again, and Remus soothed him, pressing kisses onto his forehead. “Just a guy. He said some things to me, and… and yeah.”

He felt Remus tense from underneath him. “What? Which guy? What did he say?”

Sirius shrugged. “One of Regulus’ friends. The big, bulky one with the brown hair. He insulted me. And. Called me a fag.”

“Fucker.” Remus’ grip tightened around his waist. “I know him. I had to work on a project with him before in Potions. I’ll talk to him about this.”

Sirius sighed, sniffling a little. “No, it’s okay. I’m okay now.”

“Clearly it’s not okay.” The werewolf kept brushing through his hair, massaging his scalp. “But anything I can do to help?”

Sirius smiled softly. “You already are, by being here.” He paused. “And maybe you could read to me?”

Remus huffed a laugh. “Of course.”

And the next day, if that same Slytherin who insulted Sirius walked into the Great Hall with a broken nose and a black eye, Remus would be totally innocent. He had nothing to do with it. Nothing at all.

[messers-moony]

Red Mugs | R.L

Paring: Remus Lupin X Wife!Reader

Summary: Her last breath was devoted to saving her husbands best friend who also happened to be her brother, memories of the past begin to fill her brothers mind.

“ Sirius! “ It was the last word that fell off her lips before a flash of green hit her from Bellatrix, ultimately saving Sirius’ life.

This girl was no hero, no superwomen, no stranger. She was a wife, a sister, and a daughter. Y/n Lupin, formally known as Y/n Black, the middle child of the black family. Disowned by her mother in her fifth year and seeker refuge with her close friend Remus. Being a Black daughter and sorted into Gryffindor wasn’t easy. Being a Black daughter, in general, isn’t easy. The one thing she took pride in? She was close with both her brothers till the very end.

He was in danger, and all she saw was red. Remus, her husband who had grieved for Sirius after learning he had betrayed the Potters and was kept in Azkaban. After extended evaluation and a multitude of arguments, Y/n proved that Sirius was innocent to her husband. It wasn’t enough to prove him innocent to the Ministry. Despite being Remus’ wife, she knew that Sirius meant more to him than she could ever imagine.

It wasn’t just Remus Y/n was thinking of. It was Harry, Harry Potter. The godson of Sirius Black and Y/n Black. But all Harry saw was Professor Lupin, teacher of Defense Against the Dark Arts, and his wife. Never Uncle Remus or Aunt Y/n, the titles they always wanted to hear.

Sirius watched as his little sister took the spell and fell back into the vail. He watched his little sister die by their cousin's hand. Remus had to grab Sirius by the neck in order from running after Bellatrix, which Harry did anyways. Tears streamed down the eldest Black brother's cheeks. He’d lost his youngest sibling when he was just twenty. Now he lost his last sibling at the age of thirty-seven. He was too young to have witnessed this many deaths.

Remus wanted to sob, wanted to cry for his now dead wife, but he couldn’t. Not right now. Sirius needed him before he had time to grieve. So when it was time, they apparated back to Grimmauld Place, where Sirius fell onto the couch. The man sat with his elbows on his knees, his palms holding his head up facing the fireplace. The same fireplace they used to make hot cocoa and joke around while their parents were out.

“ Sirius! Regulus! Come on! “ The thirteen-year-old girl called, making both her brothers run down the steps.

“ Here. One for you. “ She handed a cup to Sirius, “ And one for you. “ Y/n stated, smiling, giving another cup to Regulus.

They all sat around the fireplace with hot cocoa in their hands, “ I’m scared. “ Regulus admitted.

“ Scared? Why? “ Sirius inquired after taking a sip of his hot beverage, “ Mum keeps hurting you guys. I don’t want you to leave. “ Regulus confessed.

Both older siblings hugged either side of him, “ If we ever leave, you’re coming with us. “ Sirius stated, “ We’ll never leave you, Reggie. “ Y/n added.

Eventually, their cups got cold as they joked around together, feeling like kids for the first time in years. But every good night comes to an end. Sirius and Y/n had their arms wrapped around Regulus. The trio had fallen asleep. When Walburga and Orion returned home, Orion immediately went upstairs, assuming all his kids had fallen asleep. Walburga had seen them huddled up in the living room together and smiled fondly. Deciding that she’d pretend she never saw it.

A hand on his back snapped him from his flashback, “ Don’t blame this on yourself. “ The man had just lost his wife, yet his voice was so steady, “ How can I not? She died saving my sorry arse. “ Sirius retorted.

“ She died saving her brother. The same brother that would’ve done the same for her. “ Remus replied, and Sirius sighed, “ She shouldn’t have. She had a life to live. “

“ And you don’t? “ Remus queried with an eyebrow raised, “ She could’ve had a life with you, Moony! “ Sirius exclaimed.

The man chuckled bitterly, “ Y/n talked about it all the time how you and her planned to have a child one day, how she waited for me to leave Azkaban so I could be in the child’s life. How she wanted to find a place with you in London instead of staying here. “

“ I don’t have a wife. I never had a lover to care about, to come home to. She did. “ Sirius stated as tears filled his vision, “ Her life had more things in it than mine ever will. “

Remus had to swallow back the tears after hearing about these plans his wife talked about, “ Y/n lived the best life she could’ve ever had. “

“ How could you know? “ Sirius snapped, and Remus chuckled, “ Because she told me. “

“ Every morning, she told me how living through the days was a blessing. She used to say to me that if she died tomorrow that she wouldn’t have changed a thing. That she lived her life to its fullest. “ Remus explained, “ Y/n didn’t die with regrets or guilt. She was content. “

Sirius twisted a ring on his finger, “ This ring. “ He began, “ When we were kids, she used to steal things. “

“ Like my jumpers? “ Remus interjected jokingly, “ Yeah. “ Sirius laughed.

“ But she- she always nicked something from the shelf at a store, and one day she nicked this costly ring. Probably worth about three galleons, and she gave it to me for my fifteenth birthday just before I had left for the Potters and gotten disowned. “ He informed, twisting the ring off his finger and holding it out to the male beside him, “ I think you should take it. “

“ What? “ Remus was gobsmacked, “ Take it. “ Sirius insisted.

The male shook his head, “ No. Trust me. I have plenty of other things of hers. “

“ Do you have the Black photo books? “ Sirius questioned, “ I believe they’re in her study somewhere. “ Remus answered.

“ Do you- Do you think we could take a trip there after the war? “ Sirius questioned, and Remus nodded, “ Of course. “

The raven-haired male stared at the fireplace a little longer. Maybe if he stared long enough, the old memory of falling asleep with his siblings would come true. Now it even felt like he could see the coffee mugs on the table. The same red coffee mugs she had again, stolen from a store.

Sirius stood up and walked into the kitchen. Inside the cabinet laid three red mugs. The very same red mugs from those nights. She had placed them into the cupboard after starting to live here with her brother and husband. Sirius took two of them down and began making hot chocolate. After moments of making the beverage from memory, he walked back into the main room, where Remus had slight tears falling down his cheeks.

Swallowing thickly, he repeated her words, “ Here one for you. “

Remus took the cup gratefully and began drinking; soon enough, he realized it was her exact recipe. Taking a look at Sirius, who looked strangely nostalgic while drinking hot chocolate from a red mug. The trails of tears on either of their faces weren’t mistaken.

“ Red mugs. “ Sirius began, “ The only red in the house other than my bedroom. “

“ She nicked them from a market and hid them in her bedroom. On nights where both of our parents were out, she made me and Reggie hot cocoa. We used to sit on the floor in front of the sofa, talking until we fell asleep. “ He concluded, “ Full moons. “ Remus began.

He chuckled, “ Every night after a full moon, I was greeted with a red mug full of hot cocoa. It seemed to be the only thing distracting me while she cleaned my wounds. “

“ It didn’t matter if it was boiling hot outside. She always made hot cocoa for me, and it was always in a red mug, but I never understood why until now. “ Remus finished.

Sirius grabbed Remus’s hand and held it tight, “ One day, she’ll greet us with hot cocoa in a red mug again. We just have to wait. “

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

I just want Severus being a protective dad to Harry. Like,

(or, some conversations i think should happen.)

Year One

Severus: It’s not me, Harry.

Harry: But Dad, you like magical shiny things -

Severus: Harry. Go bother Professor Quirrell.

One book later…

Severus, storming through the castle on a rampage: WHO THE FUCK HIRED THAT TURBAN BITCH WHO TRIED TO KILL MY SON?!

Year Two

Harry: They’re going after Muggleborns. Like Mom and Hermione.

Severus: *pen snaps in his hand under desk* Hm. I’ll take care of it, Harry.

In Mcgonogall’s office later with her and Dumbledore…

Severus: My son is coming home with me whether you like it or not. And I’m inviting every other student too.

Dumbledore: We have everything under control.

Mcgonogall: Severus, I hate to break this to you, but four thousand students are not just going to follow you home.

Severus: *laser eyes ignite* They will if I offer them free A’s and no homework. And I think you’re forgetting that my son is the Chosen One, Minerva.

Mcgonogall: Bitch if you think I won’t slap you -

Dumbledore: *snores loudly*

The rest of the book later…

Severus: You are never allowed to speak Parseltongue again.

Harry: Then how will we talk when you’re in your Animagus form?

Severus: *mocking Harry’s voice* Then how will we talk when you’re in your Animagus form? We won’t, you idiot! I only do that for incredibly dangerous missions or to get some goddamn alone time!

Harry:

Harry:

Harry:

Harry: *starts to tear up*

Severus: Oh no. Oh no no no. Harry, no, don’t cry, not the crying, I didn’t mean, fuck, love, no, I, Harry -

Year Three

Harry: Dad, um… Professor Lupin invited me for tea.

Severus, without looking up from drawing smiley faces all over graded tests: Yes, yes. Go see him. Don’t be late. And tell him a good strong “fuck you” from me.

Half a book later…

Severus: I can’t believe you laughed at that paper’s comment on my nose.

Harry: Dad -

Severus: I did not marry James Potter and Lily Evans so our son could make fun of me. I have not dragged myself through thirteen years of your incessant crying and misplaced sarcasm to have you laugh at my nose. I could have killed myself Harry. You could have grown up with Petunia.

Harry: Dad, I’m sorry -

Severus, huffing and dropping down in his chair and turning his back on Harry: My only son. A traitor!

Harry: *groans*

The other half of the book later…

Severus: SIRIUS. THIS IS WHY YOU LET ME COME UP WITH THE PLANS.

Sirius: Snape -

Severus: SHUT UP YOU FOUL-BREATHED HEATHEN. COULD YOU NOT HAVE HAD THE COMMON DECENCY TO AT LEAST CLUE REMUS IN ON YOUR LITTLE PLAN?

Remus, stepping in front of Sirius: Now, Severus -

Severus, angrily pointing at them: NO! NO. HE’S YOUR HUSBAND, THAT MAKES YOU COMPLICIT. WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?

Hermione: Uh, guys? Full moon?

Remus and Sirius: Shit.

Severus, already rolling up his sleeves and tugging his idiot son and said idiot son’s idiot friends out of the Shack: Come meet James, she said. It’ll be fun, she said. They’re not that bad, she said…

Year Four

Severus: No.

Harry: I didn’t put my name in there, believe me, but Dumbledore says -

Severus: Fuck Dumbledore. I’m your father and I said no.

Harry: Dumbledore says there’s wards -

Severus: No.

Harry: But -

Severus: No.

Harry: Dad -

Severus: No.

Most of a book later in Severus’ office…

Harry, curled against Severus’ robes: Dad, he just… and Cedric… he’s back… it’s all my fault - *bursts into tears*

Severus: *kisses the top of Harry’s head* Nonsense. I’ll protect you, love. You’re gonna be just fine. And Voldy dearest can just fuck right off if he thinks he can get to the son of James Potter and Severus Snape and Lily fucking Evans -

Harry: *laughs wetly and wipes his eyes and nose on Severus’ robes*

Severus: *withholds disownment*

Rest of the book later in Dumbledore’s office…

Dumbledore: *sighs* Severus -

Severus: *whirls around and points angrily* NO. I DON’T WANNA HEAR IT ALBUS. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES MY SON HAS NARROWLY AVOIDED DEATH IN YOUR SCHOOL? I WANT MORE SECURITY PROTOCOLS AND I WANT THEM NOW.

Dumbledore: *face scrunches up like a lemon* You want me to… what, Harry-proof the school?

Severus: *crosses arms over chest* Yes.

Dumbledore: *sighs* Severus -

Year Five

Severus: She did what.

Harry: *swallows nervously* Um. Nothing, Dad, just a blood quill -

Severus: A FUCKING WHAT NOW?!

Five minutes later…

Hermione: Harry? Why is your father cussing out Professor Umbridge and hexing her luggage when she’s not looking in the courtyard?

Ron: Yeah, and why’d I see him pay Fred and George like five hundred galleons in the hallway back there?

Harry, watching his father literally throw Umbridge down the steps while still shouting curse words in languages Harry didn’t even know existed: *facepalms*

Most of a book later…

Harry, sobbing and limping towards Severus: Dad… Dad, she killed… Dad, Sirius… *sobs brittlely*

Severus: *kisses the top of Harry’s head and pushes him gently into Remus’ shaking arms* Nonsense, love. Now, where’s the stupid veil?

Remus: *points trembling finger*

Severus: *nods sharply*

Severus: *returns ten minutes later dragging a soaking wet and violently shaking but otherwise fine Sirius Potter Lupin behind him* Found him.

Remus: *immediately pulls Sirius into the filthiest kiss of his life*

Severus: *wrinkles his nose* You’re welcome.

Harry: *laughs wetly and buries his face in Severus’ robes* Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you -

Severus: *awkwardly pats head* Um. Sure.

Unseen epilogue we all wanted…

Severus: I now pronounce you Dumb and Dumber.

Harry: *nudges Severus* Dad.

Severus: *huffs* Husband and husband, whatever.

Sirius: *grins devilishly and dips Remus back in a kiss*

Harry: *claps enthusiastically*

Severus: *gags to hide his face as he wipes away a tear*

At the reception…

Harry: *puts a flowercrown of lilies on Severus’ head*

Severus: I’m disowning you. You’re no longer my son. Enjoy homelessness, bitch -

Harry: Mum and Dad would like it.

Severus, now bright red and squeaky: Ah. Well. Fuck you.

Harry: *leans his head on Severus’ shoulder* I love you, Dad.

Severus, grumbling: You suck, kid.

Year Six

Severus: Give me your wand.

Harry: Dad -

Severus: Give me your wand.

Harry: Dad, Draco deserved it -

Severus: *shoots up and leans over the desk* Harry James Potter Evans Snape. No one deserves what you just did. What you just did was moronic, stupid, and above all, cruel. I know you’ve heard the stories about your idiot father and you know better than that, Harry. You are better than that. And if you want to make your parents proud, and I know you do, this incident will never be repeated. Do you understand?

Harry, in tears: Yes, Dad.

Severus, through gritted teeth: Yes, what?

Harry: Yes, I understand and I won’t do it again.

Severus: *sits back in his chair* Good. Now give me your wand.

Harry: *hands over wand*

Harry: *sniffs*

Severus, sighing and standing up: Come here.

Harry: *shuffles into his arms*

Severus: *kisses his head* I love you, kid.

Harry, sniffling: Mmph.

Severus: *closes his eyes* And I’m proud of you. We all are.

Harry: *laughs wetly and shoves his face into Severus’ robes* We’re proud of you too, Dad.

A quarter of a book later…

Harry: Hey Dad, I found this awesome book and I don’t know who wrote it but -

Severus: Give that to me, Harry.

Harry: But Dad! This thing is literally the only reason I’m passing Potions at all -

Severus: I know. Because you told Minerva you want to be an Auror. Now that, Mr. Potter, is a fucking lie, and you shouldn’t be taking Potions anymore. So. What do you really want to do?

Harry:

Harry:

Harry:

Harry: I wanna be the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor.

Severus: There you go. But bitch, if you get the position before me -

Harry: Dad -

Severus: And if you tell anyone who wrote this book I swear to Merlin I’ll make sure you meet your parents far earlier than expected -

Harry: The Half-Blood Prince? Why? Do you know him?

Severus:

Severus:

Severus:

Severus: I’m raising a dumbass.

Half a book later…

Harry: *bursts rudely into Severus’ office* Dad, Draco -

Severus: I know, Harry.

Harry: No, you don’t, this time I’m actually -

Severus: I know, Harry.

Harry: Dad, he’s -

Severus: *finally looks up from grading papers* Harry. I know. It’s okay.

Harry, sputtering: It’s not okay -

Severus: Harry, love. I don’t lie to you.

Harry:

Harry:

Harry:

Harry: I know. Okay.

Severus: *looks back down at his papers* Just don’t be dick.

Harry: I do not -

Severus: *raises his eyebrow*

Harry: Yes, Dad.

Three quarters of a book later…

Severus: So. Harry. I heard you’re dating Ginny Weasley.

Harry: No. Nope. I’m not.

Severus: I see. Well, either way -

Harry: Oh no.

Severus: Oh, yes. We need to have this conversation; you’re a growing sixteen year old boy. Of course, as your body grows there will be things -

Harry, bright red: No. No no no. Oh my god, Dad -

Severus, maintaining intense eye contact: When two or more people love each other very much, like your parents and I did -

Harry: *bolts right up* Dad, I will go to the Astronomy Tower and throw myself off right the fuck now if you don’t shut up, I swear to Merlin.

Severus: Good. Now, about protection -

Harry: I’ll do it.

Severus: So you’ve said. Madame Pomfrey has -

Harry: *throws his hands up in the air* I’m not even dating anyone!

Severus: *gives him a look* Of course people will be lining up eventually, you are the Chosen One after all.

Severus: *gives Harry a once-over and smirks*

Severus: Though I do wonder how you plan to defeat You-Know-Who when you can’t even sit through a discussion about the protection charms your mother cast when she sacrificed herself for you.

Harry:

Harry:

Harry:

Harry: OH MY GOD DAD THAT’S NOT FUNNY -

Severus: *giggling manically*

The rest of the book later…

Harry: Dad. No. Please, no.

Severus: I’m sorry, Harry.

Severus, externally: *looks at Dumbledore* Avada Kedavra.

Severus, internally: That’s what you get for hurting my son, you shitty old bitch.

Year Seven

Hermione: Harry, you need to talk about it.

Harry, setting up a tent “successfully”: Talk about what? I’m fine.

Hermione: *sighs* Your dad.

Harry: Okay. You wanna talk about your Obliviated parents?

Hermione:

Hermione:

Hermione:

Harry: Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Ron: *accidentally knocks the tent over*

Meanwhile, Severus…

Severus, staring blankly at the Carrows: What son.

Carrow #1: *sneers* Your son. Harry Potter.

Severus:

Severus:

Severus:

Severus: You think I raised that idiot?

Carrow #2: That’s… actually a fair point.

Severus: *huffs and crosses his arms over his chest*

Severus: *flips hair*

Severus, internally: Damn right it is, bitch.

Severus, externally: See? Obviously not my son.

Carrow #1, snickering: Plus no one would ever sleep with you.

Severus: *turns his head slowly so he can glare right into Carrow #1’s eyes*

Severus, in that dangerous, painfully slow drawl of his: Of course not. Carrot.

In Mcgonogall’s office at three a.m….

Severus: Where is he?

Mcgonogall: I don’t know, Severus.

Severus: But he’s alive, right?

Mcgonogall, sighing: If he wasn’t we’d have heard by now.

Severus, pacing: Right. Right. He’s fine. He’s fine. Har - he’s fine.

Half a book later…

Severus, poking his head into the Gryffindor common room at like two a.m.: Hello? Y’all coming?

Ginny, stepping forward while the rest of Gryffindor rallies behind her with small bags and pillows: Yeah.

Severus, creeping into the Hufflepuff dorms: Marshmallows? You guys ready?

Hufflepuffs, in perfect chorus as they gather with blankets and stuffies: Yes, Professor.

Severus, knocking on the Ravenclaws’ doors: Yo, smartasses, it’s time.

Luna, hugging a stuffed white rabbit with the rest of Ravenclaw behind her: Hi, Professor.

Severus: *heart melts a little bit* Hello, Luna.

Severus: *leads them all to the Room of Requirement under a mass invisibility spell*

Severus: *gets them all settled for a long-term sleepover*

Severus, straightening up: Okay. Anyone want goodnight hugs?

A few pages later…

Severus: You have a list for me?

Draco, handing over a piece of parchment: It’s alphabetized.

Severus: Hm. Thank you.

Severus: *reads list*

Severus: Get Zabini to put Zonko’s products in the bed of everyone on this list. Have Pansy get the rest of you prepped on the plan. If you’re all still on board, that is.

Draco: *shrugs* We may be Slytherins, sir, but we’re not cowards.

Severus: *eyes suddenly shiny* No. No, you’re not.

Most of a book later I think I haven’t read them in years…

Harry: You killed him.

Severus: *pleads with his eyes*

Harry: How dare you stand where he stood?

Severus, internally: FUCK why do I have to be the tortured one??? Kiss me, James said. Marry me, James said. Let’s have a kid, James said. This is all his fault. I swear Jamie when I die I am going to kill you. You fuckwad -

Severus, externally: *starts shooting harmless spells at Mcgonogall*

Quite a bit later…

Severus, internally: Fuck, I hate snakes. Why is that my Animagus? I already have this shitty tattoo and I’m in the snake House why do I need to die by a fucking snake too oh look my son’s here that’s humiliating

Harry, overwhelmed with tears: Dad -

Severus, internally: I’m fine go away jeez

Severus, externally: *gurgles*

Harry: *flurries his hands around Severus’ body uselessly*

Hermione, exasperated: Harry, move.

Harry, blubbering now: *whimpers* Mione -

Hermione, wand out and pointed at Severus’ wounds: Harry, move.

Two minutes later…

Severus, freshly healed and more than a little pissed off: Now let’s go tell that snake ass motherfucker to go fuck himself -

Harry, clinging to him desperately: Daddy you can’t -

Severus: Like fuck I can’t. That slimy ass shitwipe killed my spouses, tried to kill me, and has gone after you for your entire life as if you don’t have enough shit to deal with already so yeah I’m gonna go murder him.

Harry, burying his face in Severus’ robes: Dad, I have to go.

Severus: No, you don’t.

Harry: It’s the right thing to do.

Severus: Since when I have cared about the right thing?

Harry: Since always.

Severus:

Severus:

Severus:

Severus: You’re grounded for the rest of your life after you survive this.

Harry: *laughs wetly* Dad, I’m not gonna -

Severus: *kisses his forehead* I love you, Harry.

Harry: I love you, Dad.

*dead silence*

Hermione: Harry. We have to go.

Harry, whispering: Keep them safe, Dad.

Severus, also whispering: Of course, love.

Idontevenfuckingknow later…

Voldemort: Harry Potter is dead!

Everyone: *crying*

Severus, internally: The fuck no he’s not like you could kill my son.

Severus, externally: *stares at Voldemort*

Five minutes later…

Harry: Expelliarmus!

Severus: I KNEW IT

The end…

Harry: Hi, Dad.

Severus, tugging him into a hug: You’re grounded forever you fucking idiot.

Harry, grinning and hugging back: Yeah, I figured as much.

A little bit after the end…

Remus: You did a good job.

Sirius: You really did. I can’t say I’m not surprised.

Severus, internally: I can’t believe I saved your life you fucking dick.

Severus, externally: I know.

[fruitcoops]

Hey Eve how are you doing I hope you're having a good day. Could you possibly if you want to make a fic like after the disownment fic and there's an interview with Sirius, Remus or (or the lions) on how they felt and there reactions and stuff only if you want to ofc I hope you are having a good day

This isn't a social media fic, but it does include include this prompt and was combined with an ask for Sirius having a hard time in the wake of a breakdown because he was doing so well before. Please pay attention to the TWs and let me know if I missed any. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove <3

TW child abuse (past), angst, past trauma, mentions of going to therapy, and feeling overwhelmed

The studio cameras hadn’t seemed scary in a long, long time. Sirius stared at the white floor, toying with his ring and trying not to run screaming from the building; this is for them, he reminded himself. For everyone like me who never had someone speak up for them. The metal folding chair was cold under him.

“Sirius?” There was no hint of teasing in Marlene’s voice. “Are you ready?”

He had already saved himself and Regulus. Now it was time for the rest of them. “Oui.”

“Rolling in three, two, one…”

“My name is Sirius Black,” he said, channeling all the strength and control he could manage into his voice as he straightened up. “I’m 27 years old, the center and captain for the Gryffindor Lions hockey team, and a Stanley Cup champion.” He took a breath. “And I grew up in an abusive home. Last week, my biological parents officially disowned me for refusing to go back into the closet and under their control. It wasn’t dramatic. There was no media present. There was a lot of paperwork.

“But I’m not here to talk about that.” He swallowed, and felt some of his confidence return. Behind the camera, Marlene gave him an encouraging look with a shine in her eyes. “I’m here to talk to everyone else in my situation and let you know that you’re not alone. You can get out of there, and you can be the freest version of yourself. For the next month, 1/12 of all proceeds from Lions tickets will go to charities supporting abuse survivors and those currently living in abusive situations. My story is not the only one. We can make a difference.”

----------------

Sirius laid on his back on the lobby couch, letting “Radio Gaga” thump in his ears and drown out the tremors in his body. He had never said it publicly before—as far as the rest of the hockey world knew, his family was only rumored to be strict. He had been hesitant to do the video at first despite the tsunami of questions flooding their social media, and it wasn’t until Marlene suggested the charity aspect that he agreed.

Sirius didn’t like press. He liked it even less when it was poking around in his past, and when he had to support it.

The song ended and he paused the music, listening to his own breathing and steady pulse. You’re okay. You’re done. You made it through. He didn’t feel okay.

“—proud of him,” someone was saying inside the studio. Remus. “It was a complicated and painful thing to work through, but he never wavered from what he wanted and what was best for him.”

Six of his other teammates would speak, supporting the charity with a quick mention of their own feelings in case any assholes on the internet got bright ideas about speaking for them and their feelings on Sirius’ disownment. It was insane what people thought they found by digging through interviews.

“Hey, baby.” Sirius opened his eyes; above him, Remus was leaning over the armrest of the couch with a tired smile. He kissed Sirius’ forehead, then his nose, then his lips. “Ready to go home?”

“Don’t we have to stay until the end?”

“Marlene said she had everything she needed from us.”

Sirius blew out a slow breath and stood, wrapping his arms around Remus on instinct. “This feels like it’s going to go badly.”

“I don’t think it will,” Remus said quietly, rubbing up and down his spine. “I think it’s going to help a lot of people, and I hope it means we stop getting nosy comments now that you’ve answered the big questions and made it clear that’s the end.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

They walked to the car in relative silence, hand-in-hand; Remus took the keys without a word, and relief washed over Sirius in a cool breeze. He didn’t feel grounded enough to drive safely. At the moment, he wasn’t sure he ever would. The whole world was hazy outside the passenger window, blurring the city he loved so much into smudges of colors—Remus was a presence next to him, but what Sirius wanted more than anything was some hot chocolate and a long, long nap.

“I don’t feel good,” he said, hardly above a whisper.

Remus glanced at him out of the corner of his eye as he drove. “Do I need to pull over?”

“No, I just…” He sighed. “I thought I would feel better after getting this off my chest and helping people. I feel bad.”

“Can you eat?” He nodded. “I’ll make some soup when we get home if you want to lay down for a bit.”

Sirius’ eyes burned. “Sounds good.”

“Hey, baby, it’s okay,” Remus soothed, reaching one hand down to close around the one Sirius kept on his thigh as Sirius sniffled and shook with the effort of keeping in his tears. “It’s okay. You can call Marlene and ask her not to publish the video. That’s in your rights, you don’t have to—”

“No,” Sirius choked out, wiping his tears away with the back of his wrist. “It has to happen. People have to know that they can help. I—I just—I don’t know how to feel and so everything is happening at once.”

Nobody had taught Sirius how to handle Feelings-with-a-capital-f until Dumo; suddenly, he felt like all that hard work was being undone in one fell swoop. He kept ahold of Remus’ hand and let the tears slide down his cheeks as he breathed through it, keeping both feet firmly planted in some semblance of control. Remus parked the car and turned to him without unbuckling his seatbelt. “Do you want to go inside, or should we drive for a bit?”

“I really want to go to bed.”

“How can I help?” Remus laced their fingers together again and Sirius squeezed his eyes shut. “You really don’t seem alright, love.”

“I’m not, and I don’t know how to fix it.” The words were broken glass in his throat. “I was doing so good. I don’t know how to go back.”

“Oh, baby,” Remus murmured, taking his seatbelt off to kiss Sirius’ temple. “Let’s go inside, yeah? You’ll be more comfortable there.”

Sirius nodded mutely, still pressing his lips together to stifle any sounds that tried to come out. It always seemed like when he started to cry, he couldn’t stop—whether that was a function of never crying for the majority of his life, he didn’t know, but it always felt horrible. No mistakes, his mother had told him. The video felt like a mistake. Still, he knew he couldn’t ask them to take it down. There were people that needed help, and he couldn’t let his childhood hide in the shadows anymore.

Remus turned as if to hug him when the door closed behind them, but Sirius slipped past and headed straight for the stairs. Sweatpants, hoodie, soup, blanket, talk. Talk, talk, talk until you can’t stop. Then sleep. He heard Remus moving around in the kitchen as he stripped down and dug his softest sweatpants out of the drawer, followed by Remus’ most worn-down and oversized Wisconsin hoodie that he always wore when he didn’t feel well. Sirius buried his nose in the neckline and inhaled deeply; the familiar scent soothed the rush of blood in his ears.

He didn’t bother with socks and made a beeline for the couch, wrapping himself in the afghan blanket one of Hope’s friends had crocheted for their wedding. Hope had kept it in the Lupin house so she wouldn’t forget to bring it with her, and it smelled like them, too. It smelled like safety and a happy house and healthy childhoods.

Another tear slipped out when Remus set down some water and the soup—Campbell’s chicken noodle, can’t go wrong—and Sirius curled up against the armrest to make room. “I need to talk to you,” he said. “I need to talk to you.”

The cushions dipped as Remus sat next to him and crossed his legs. “About what?”

“Everything.” His voice broke. “The way I grew up, everything about it. I—Re, I never lied to you, I promise. I just didn’t talk about it because I didn’t want to scare you, but I have to be honest with you.”

“…alright.”

Sirius took a shaky breath; his mouth was dry, and salty at the edges. “My parents—my parents hit me when I wasn’t good enough, and nothing was ever good enough unless I could do it again, and again, and again—”

“Sirius—”

“—and I thought everyone on my team didn’t get dinner if they didn’t get a goal and—”

“Stop—”

“—and Regulus and I, it was like we couldn’t breathe in that house with them scripting every move—”

“Sirius.” Remus’ hand covered his mouth and Sirius closed his eyes as a sob ripped free, but didn’t fight it. “Sirius, stop, please.”

“I have to tell you,” he said hoarsely, trembling from head to toe. “I have to be honest with you.”

“I love you, and I’m glad you can talk to me, but I’m not the person you have to tell.” Remus’ voice was thick with tears. “Being honest with me doesn’t mean telling me every detail, please, please don’t do that.”

“I couldn’t make mistakes,” he blubbered, leaning into Remus. “What kind of fucking freak tells a child they can’t make mistakes?”

Remus shushed him softly, running a hand through the hair at the nape of his neck as he went boneless into Remus’ chest. He could feel the hitching breaths under his face and regret reared up, but he felt so empty. There was so much more he could tell Remus and nothing he could say. “I love you,” Remus began, sniffling slightly. “I love you so much, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Because I love you, I’m going to tell you that I am not the person you need to tell all this to right now. You should talk to someone who knows how to help, like Heather.”

“I’m sorry,” Sirius whispered.

“No, I understand.” A kiss pressed against the top of his head. “And I’m not upset at you. Both our emotions are running really high. I just—this isn’t blaming you or to make you feel bad, but it hurts to hear all the horrible things that happened to you. I already wish I could have stopped it before it happened, but hearing you say it is a lot worse than thinking about it and I wasn’t ready to hear everything.”

“That’s not everything.”

“I know.” Remus’ voice cracked. “I know, and that’s the worst part. This video was a bad idea, I should call—”

“No, no, don’t do that.” Sirius caught his wrist as he reached for the phone. “The video isn’t the problem. It will help people. It’s just hard for me to talk about it without getting overwhelmed.”

Remus hesitated, but left the phone alone and hugged Sirius close again. “I’m here.”

“I know.”

“And I’m not gonna leave.” His chest rose and fell. “But—but if you need to tell me things, not just today, please give me fair warning first.”

“I will,” Sirius promised. They sat quietly for a moment before he sat up and pulled the soup bowl into his lap, letting the steam roll over his face. “Mon dieu, I was doing so good before this. It’s been the best two years and now…”

“Now it’s going to be better,” Remus filled in when he trailed off. A slender hand tucked his hair behind his ear. “It’s going to be better, Sirius. For you, and for lots of other people that you’re helping. But this is the hard part.”

“This is the really, really hard part,” he agreed, taking a sip of broth. It was the perfect temperature. “Thank you.”

“It’s just soup.”

“No, for everything. Everything you’ve done for me.” he rested his head on Remus’ shoulder, then left a lingering kiss on his cheek. “I love you more than I can say.”

A wry smile tilted the side of Remus’ mouth up. “In English or French?”

“Both,” Sirius half-laughed. “Both, I promise. I’m going to finish this, and then can we take a nap?”

“That sounds perfect. Make sure to drink your water, too.”

It would not be an easy evening, or an easy night, or an easy anything when the video came out. But he would work through it, and he would remember what he had learned from his family and his friends to move past the roadblocks his childhood always created. He would call Regulus, they would cry together, and they would be okay. He would be okay.