#sordidwriting

[sorendeimos]

What an angry, disposable man… Nothing but a pawn … born to be damned.

How I perceive Severus Snape

Notes: Go into this understanding that to Me, Severus is deeply flawed and broke and trauma filled. There are parts of him I see as soft and squishy, covered by hate to keep Them from bruising. If you don’t like that, do not read this. Otherwise, enjoy.

TW: Mentions of alcohol abuse, drug abuse, sex, physical and emotional abuse, poor mental health, death, manipulation Please do not read if you cannot handle these topics.

Basics

Severus T̶o̶b̶i̶a̶s̶ Snape—01/09/1960 INFJ 5w6 Slytherin he/she/they gender apathetic

Personality

𖤐 Anxious 𖤐 Quiet, yet explosive when angry 𖤐 Calculating 𖤐 Jumpy 𖤐 Constantly self-destructing 𖤐 Studious 𖤐 Woefully inept at being social

Mannerisms

𖤐 Has neatly manicured hands and wears gloves to protect them. 𖤐 Carries with him a book, a notebook, and a pen at all times. 𖤐 Gets stomach ulcers from stress and poor self care. 𖤐 Takes up smoking as an adult after The Attack 𖤐 Has terrible coping mechanisms, ranging from excessive hours of brewing in the dark to binges of alcohol, drugs, and sex. 𖤐 Developed his harsh personality because of his father hating the sound of his laughter as a kid.

Family

𖤐 Tobias Snape — Father 𖤐 Eileen Prince — Mother 𖤐 Paternal Grandparents — unknown 𖤐 Maternal Grandparents — unknown

𖤐 A Moment in Time 𖤐

Friendships

𖤐 Lily Evans — childhood best friend 𖤐 Remus Lupin — study partner/friend 𖤐 Charity Burbage — close friend 𖤐 Narcissa Malfoy née Black — close friend 𖤐 Lucius Malfoy — close friend 𖤐 Regulus Black — friend

Relationships

𖤐 The Malfoys

After Hogwarts, they were all close, close enough for the Malfoys to open their marriage for Severus. Not because they lusted for him, but because he needed them and it kept his destruction contained.

𖤐 remus lupin

With Remus, Severus could exist as a whole person. There were no games or masks, as the wolf would sniff them out. Remus was and is a calming presence in his life that got him to open up, process, and relax.

𖤐 Regulus Black

Regulus was Severus’s first kiss. They did not date, per se but they did a number of things together. Severus was regulus’s only and it still hurts Severus to his core to recall this. He tries not to.

𖤐 a moment of weakness 𖤐

Trauma

𖤐 Severus suffers from night terrors, horrid dreams that teeter between reality and fantasy. As a result, he is jumpy, often exhausted, and irritable. 𖤐 The night terrors stem from the day his Father became a monster 𖤐 The day severus showed his first sign of magic, Tobias lost it. He flew into a fear based rage, throwing Severus into his room, and Eileen was left to explain everything. 𖤐 Tobias began to drink and hit soon after 𖤐 Severus went to hogwarts, eager to learn magic to defend himself and his mother, but became a target here as well. 𖤐 The marauders, mainly James and Sirius, tormented severus throughout Their years together. 𖤐 He became a bitter and angry boy as a result. he only found solace in his friendships with lily and eventually remus, potions, and dark magic research. 𖤐 His interests gained him friends in the malfoys and other supporters. The prank shattered his friendship with remus and followed by the assault shattering the one with lily. 𖤐 After graduation, Severus threw himself into his mastery and coped with the rage inside him via the Malfoys.

𖤐 forgiveness 𖤐

End of part one

[sordidwriting]

Matters of Submission

Synopsis: Draco Malfoy has a set way that he ends the week. He get in his flower order for next week, he goes home and takes the most luxurious bath and does his hair care routine. Then Draco waits for Him to get home. X

Mature • MxM • 3,069 words • excerpt below

For the last 15 years, Draco Malfoy has had the same routine once he gets off work with small adjustments for whether it is the beginning of the week, midweek, or the end of the week. At the beginning of the week, he gets off work at precisely 4:30 pm, goes two doors down and retrieves a bouquet of flowers - by now he sends his order in the night before so it’s ready on time - and then he heads home to cook dinner, tidy the house, and relax. During the week it is much the same, without the flower pick-up, but he often stops for something or other: a pastry he’s been dying to try, a bit of dry cleaning, shopping for a gift.

But on the weekend, Draco closes the shop at 4:30 pm, drops off his floral request if he’s lucky (he usually isn’t, so it is owled in on Sunday morning) and makes his way home to do a series of things to prepare for the weekend. He arrives home at 4:32 pm, wound tight with anticipation and his pulse roaring in his ears, and with a slight sigh he quickly goes and gets ready.

He goes through the house and adjusts a few things, tidying little odds-and-ends that have shifted or been moved out of place as he makes his way upstairs to the master bedroom. He removes the silk-lined work robes he left unbuttoned that day, removes the nice pastel blue floral vest he wears over an even lighter button down, shiny golden buttons down the front.

Draco strips himself of the soft button down, his heavy and sparkling cufflinks, the matching tie, then deftly unbuttons his trousers, pulling them down altogether with his pants and socks, to deposit it in the waiting laundry hamper by the door.

Then the ritual begins.

[sorendeimos]

Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing enough to spread my Korean-Greek Severus Snape agenda then I remember that I'm literally writing a whole lore set about both sides of his family and how his relationship with them is skewed because of both his parents respective traumas.

[sorendeimos]

Hello everyone. I bring to you: Snapeweek 2025!

Feel free to join in and post on any and all platforms using #SnapeWeek !

[sorendeimos]

✮ Things Severus will never say ✮

↳ a look through his diary

The pain I feel is wholly insignificant in the face of your betrayal. Oh sure, we have fought and hurt before but this time the pain I feel at your hand is so raw, so visceral, that the only way to soothe it is understanding that you are smiling. Your happiness trumps the pain I feel… I just wish you hated him like we used to so that it didn’t hurt so much when that smile was directed at him.

—after the rejected apologies

They scream and yell today. And yesterday. And every day since. Father doesn’t like when I do magic, Mother says it’s normal for My age and to just not show Father what I can do.

—age 8, 7 months after his first accidental magic

I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM

— after his father hit him for the first time, age 8

ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM ILL KILL HIM

—after his father hits his mother the first time, age 8

I met a girl today that’s just like me. She had hair like fire and eyes like spring. I want to be Her friend.

—after meeting Lily, age 9

I told Her she’s like me. She seemed relieved. I hope She isn’t like me entirely.

—after telling Lily she’s a witch, age 9

Lily and I spend almost every day together, but never at my house. She’s too good for that place.

—on spending time with Lily, age 9, almost 10.

Petunia is the worst. I hope She gets a bee caught up that horrid upturned nose of hers.

—on Petunia, age 10

Mother has told me about Hogwarts today. She says I will be sorted Ravenclaw for my mind and thirst for knowledge. I want to be in Slytherin, to follow Her footsteps.

—on going to Hogwarts, age 10

I’m unsure what hurts more. My pride or losing my first friend. The person on whom I could depend. Who I was changing for. Who looked at me and still believed I had some semblance of good inside, even when I’d proven time and again I don’t. And now I don’t have Her so what, pray tell, is the fucking point. I’ll write to Lucius in the morning.

—after the Assault

The Malfoys, while newly-wed, are gracious hosts. I find comfort in Their home unlike anywhere I’ve ever been before. The future seems promising, and Lucius intends to speak with a benefactor on my potions skill. I shall have word back before Easter on career prospects under the sponsorship of this benefactor. If all goes well, my mastery funding will be secured, a job for after lined up, and I will no longer worry about feeding myself in the off season. Things are looking up for once.

—after Christmas, age 16

Joseph Aston - 25–34 Emily Aston - 24 -35 Joseph Aston Jr - 8–36 ••• Marie LeBlanc - 12–57 Damien LeBlanc - 45–56 ••• Charity Burbage - 37–158

I wish that the love he feels for me didn’t exist some days. He smiles at me and it feels like the sun on my skin after months of winter. He touches my hand and my skin feel alight and ablaze. It will hurt when he leaves me.

—Severus on Remus, age 15

The wolf has some fucking nerve attempting to lecture me on how to teach my class. As if he isn’t a beast in a man’s clothing. As if he isn’t a predator waiting to strike me dead.

—Severus on Remus, age 35

Potter and Black hate me, and I don’t know why. They just do… just like Father then. I suppose it's par for the course.

—musing about the marauders, age 11

I miss you. God, how I miss you. It’s been several months and it still hurts so much. So very much. Harry is safe, Dumbledore will not tell me where he is, but he is safe. Cared for. I hope he is loved. I wish I had not chosen this path. The one that took you away. But I am here now and I will work harder now to fix my mistakes. There’s clean-up to be done, people to put away. Wounds to heal, I only hope that if you look down on me, it is not with scorn with which you do it. Albus thinks this war is not over. If it isn’t… I’ll protect him. I’ll protect him with my life, I swear this. I will do for him what I should have from the beginning with you. I will change. I will be better. I will keep him safe.

—6 months after the Potters’ deaths.

He is more like his father than I expected. This will be tying. I will keep my promise but it will… be a trial.

—after Harry comes to Hogwarts

Give me patience, Lily, your son is every bit your husband and I regret to say I rise to his taunts every time. Patience, for strength, will send me to Azkaban and him to an early grave.

—sometime in Harry’s third year

This is my last entry. It has been years since the war began, longer than expected, and I will likely not make it out. I only pray the souls I doomed forgive me, but I don’t blame Them if not.

—the final page, day before the Battle.

[sorendeimos]

COURTING THE PRINCE ━⁠☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ

A Severus Snape-centric Social Media AU

Sick of being single, Severus posts an application for all 6k of his followers to see. Things go sideways when he reviews them on the timeline, live tweets the dates, and more.

Read the SocMed on AO3 here!

Read the SocMed on Twitter/X here > [PART 1] [PART 2] [PART 3] [PART 4]

So I originally posted this to Twitter/X and it's been a hit, so I went ahead and also uploaded it to ao3. We are currently about to enter part 4 after voting is done and unfortunately, I will NAWT be cross-posting polls, so if you HAVE a Twitter/X, please do go vote on there when votes come up! That's where polls and updates go live FIRST.

All that said, here are a few things to note:

☆ this fic has DIFFERENT POSSIBLE OUTCOMES!

☆ This has different ships including Snily, Snulciber, Jeverus, Snirius, Snupin, Snarity, Snucissa, and Snegulus, if you do not like ANY of those ships, please just move on. I love exploring diff Severus ships and as such, I wanted a way to dip my feet into them all at once.

☆ There will be multiple polls, some with explanations and others with none, to decide what happens with whom!

☆ THERE ARE NSFW PARTS! They are O N L Y posted on Twitter/X on the account @/tenebrisvigemis and they will remain there (unless I decide to lock them on a03, I haven't decided yet)

☆ If you do not vote, do not complain about who progresses! I did not pick the outcomes ON PURPOSE because this is INTERACTIVE.

☆ It takes me time to make each of the parts because a lot of this AU has moving parts ( like Rita's newsletter, the application, etc are all handmade by me and took time to build) not to mention the tweets, scouring the internet for images to use that fit, etc. Updates will likely be slow and/or spread out to make it as clear and perfect as possible, just because they take a while to do.

☆ AO3 WILL SEE THE LEAST FUCKED UP ORDER OF TWEETS. Every single time I have updated, I fucked up something, be it posting a tweet twice, posting the wrong tweet, uncropped whatever. So Ao3 has the version that I have actually been able to make sure everything is perfect and in order properly, whereas Twitter is basically unbeta'd.

☆ This is for fun! Enjoy yourself and lmk your thoughts, your faves, and your hopes! Sometimes your ideas will make it into the socmed! Sometimes they won't if they go a different direction than I have planned, but some little details make it through!

☆ AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST! I issue a challenge. Given I will post polls with NO REASON or explanations sometimes, I challenge you to find all the answers to the polls. Where are they hidden? What chapter? What tweet? Who did it? At the end of the socmed, I will issue a prize (TBD) to the person who finds them all!

So please enjoy, lmk your thoughts! Glad to have you all here!

[sorendeimos]

Thinking about Tobias Snape and his muggle parents and being nice and normal and nonmagical... Then his magic brother is born... Followed by his magical sister and suddenly he's no longer the breadwinner with his good job and his prospects bc he's normal.

So he joins the war.

He fights for his country and his parents and every letter he gets is about his siblings and their accomplishments even though he's almost 15 years older and far more useful than them and their accidental magics because he's fighting a WAR and his parents don't even ask if hes okay.

So he gets bitter and fights harder to rank up and he comes home to toddling siblings that giggle and make bubbles and butterflies.

He comes home to only a meal to celebrate the end of the war and siblings that barely know him and parents that barely care that he's ALIVE.

So he leaves. He leaves his family in Korea and the siblings he can barely love because they ruined everything in his quiet life with his parents in their nice NORMAL LIFE.

Then he finds Eileen, perfect, normal, beautiful Eileen. And they have a son.

And everything is NORMAL.

Until Severus is four, maybe five, and they're just sitting for dinner, some dish Eileen has made from an old family recipe, and his son, his precious, NORMAL SON, giggles up a bubble.

And Tobias sees red.

His world shatters at the same time as the bubble pops.

[sorendeimos]

A Short Socmed au for our favourite Prince 🎂🥳

[sorendeimos]

In the quiet hours of the night... his mind is deafening.

How I perceive Severus Snape, part 2 | part 1

Notes: Go into this understanding that to Me, Severus is deeply flawed and broke and trauma filled. There are parts of him I see as soft and squishy, covered by hate to keep Them from bruising. If you don’t like that, do not read this. Otherwise, enjoy.

TW: Mentions of alcohol abuse, drug abuse, sex, physical and emotional abuse, poor mental health, death, manipulation Please do not read if you cannot handle these topics. This part is a lot lighter than part one, though it still has a few sore spots.

Positive Attributes

𖤐 studious and driven, severus is someone to have on your side when you need information. He likely already knows what you need and where to find it. 𖤐 severus is attentive, noticing things you likely didn’t. This often leads to him giving support before needed or compensating for things ahead of time. 𖤐 severus is quite witty and funny, he’s often cracking jokes, but his deadpan tone often makes Them fall flat. 𖤐 severus is incredibly thoughtful, especially when giving gifts. He observes people constantly, and his gifts to others on holidays or birthdays are often times things that are so touching, it's staggering.

𖤐 moments of bliss 𖤐

Negative Attributes

𖤐 severus is so incredibly stubborn. Once he has an idea to do something, well, he will not give up, even if doing it causes him personal harm. 𖤐 severus doesn’t sleep well, so he is constantly grumpy and snappish. 𖤐 severus has terrible social skills and a carefully black tone and expression. This often leads to him coming off angry, mean, or spiteful. 𖤐 severus wears his distaste plainly. It’s clear if he hates you. 𖤐 compliments are earned, to him, so you doing well or being kind to him often doesn’t come with thanks or praise, which can make him seem standoffish. 𖤐 insults are his way of expressing love and care.

𖤐 severus as song lyrics 𖤐

Musical tastes

𖤐 severus never stuck to one genre or another. The music of her youth is that chosen from discard or discount bins. 𖤐 lots of the music severus holds dear is music that is a gift or a moment of perspective shifting.𖤐 her favourite music to brew to us, classical OR absolute rubbish noise music. It depends on what is brewing, delicate potions get the latter. 𖤐 severus owns multiple band tees, also usually discounted, all unknown.𖤐 severus gets a lot of Her love for classical music from ballet classes with Lily. Her favourite pieces spawn from duets they created or performed together and she still hums them to herself often.

𖤐 severus’s playlist 𖤐

Severus has a dynamic relationship with music, it’s typically all around him either playing in his head, him humming while working, or playing out loud while he brews. His tastes are varying, vast, unexpected and usually not the same day to day.

Severus’s clothing

𖤐 for a very long time, clothing meant absolutely nothing. Clothes were a means of covering herself and keeping warm or staying cool. It isn’t until years down the road, probably around 14 or 15, that style mattered. 𖤐 severus, after a day of ballet class, went into town with Lily to hunt down some new leotards and, on a dare, tried one on. It was tight, constricting. She loved it. Lily bought her the leotard and some tights. 𖤐 from that day forward, the pair of them would find and try on anything and everything, Lily gaining a love for baggy cargo pants and jeans, severus a love for dresses and skirts

𖤐 Pinterest outfits severus would wear 𖤐

╰⌲ teens

╰⌲ twenties

hobbies

𖤐 severus has very few hobbies and usually things that were found to be creepy or entirely unexpected 𖤐 they can draw, often doing flowers, bugs, or creatures in the margins of their textbooks and adding art to assignments. 𖤐 severus also does ballet with lily and has for years. The two of them have done duets, individual performances, and won awards. They practice during the school year in a neglected wing that the two of them transfigured. 𖤐 severus also paints, plays piano and violin, can sing, writes long-winded essays on long forgotten topics, and speaks four languages besides English. 𖤐 the languages: German, Latin, Korean, and French.

End Part Two

[sorendeimos]

DAY 6 — Fave SocMed Snape Post

Easily this from upcoming part 5 of CPT (I'm almost done I promise.)

Edit: part of part 5 is up on twitter if you'd like to check!

[sorendeimos]

Peppermint, Skullcap, and Chamomile

Explicit, Ongoing, Snupin

Read here

Severus Snape has never been good at coping with anything. He has vices-- alcohol, drugs, sex-- and has been slowly killing himself and worrying those that care.

Remus is sent to fix that by any means necessary, even if it means using himself.

☆ CW: smoking, discussions of anxiety, stress, depression

☆ Unhealthy coping mechanisms should not be taken up. Don’t smoke kids.

Excerpt below the cut!

“Severus.”

“Go. Away.” The pounding in his head hadn’t stopped yet, it was still early and Severus was not yet willing to get up from the kitchen table. His head rested against the surface, which was covered in scattered papers and letters and spilled drink and ash. He couldn’t bring himself to care.

Instead of going away, as Severus had grumbled, the voice came closer and slammed a hand into the wood, rattling the table on its unsteady legs and Severus’ brain inside his skull. Severus shouted and blearily looked up into the barely restrained anger in Remus Lupin’s gaze. He sat up at the table, squinting his eyes closed against even the dim light coming through his kitchen window.

“Get. Up. You’ve done enough of this pathetic moping act and I’m sick of it. The entire Order is sick of it. *Albus* is sick of it,” Remus said, starting to shuffle the papers stained with tears, sweat, and who knew how many different alcohols and sort them into piles.

“Who do you think you are to come into My home, wolf, and berate me on how I choose to grieve my losses?” Severus hissed, eyes pinched shut against the lights assault against his mind. Had the wood done something to make the room brighter than normal? He couldn’t tell but it felt like the light was an ice pick driving straight into his corneas.

“You, Severus, are not the only person grieving. As of today, I’m your keeper, per Dumbledore. Got a problem with it, take it up with him.”

Severus growled then quickly stopped, the rumbling causing bile to rise up in his throat. He cracked open an eye and fixed his gaze on a point over Remus’ shoulder, willing his stomach to calm again and attempting to ignore the pounding in his head. The wolf, finished setting Severus’ table to some semblance of order, moved across his kitchen as if he lived here to gaze into his refrigerator. He took in the dredges — a half empty bottle of possibly (probably) off milk, a handful of eggs, some cheese, a few sausage links and some bread — and sighed as he closed the door again.

“I’m making you food. You have 20 minutes to shower, dress, take a hangover drought and whatever else you need before I expect you back here to eat,” he said, turning to the cabinets and beginning to rifle through them as well.

[sorendeimos]

I know it probably wouldn’t happen, but:

Severus, in times of deep despair or anger finds a corner somewhere secluded, drops to his knees and prays. It’s an old habit from his childhood, punishments for arbitrary wrongs where he spent hours in corners made to pray and beg a God he never believed in and who certainly wasn’t listening for forgiveness. As an adult when things are hard or painful or fury inducing, he prays. Begs for patience and strength and forgiveness for his sins. He does not hear back. He never does. He feels no better after but he does it and then something in him is soothed, something in his chest is less hot. And he pushes to his feet, grumbling about stupidity and how embarrassing this is and how he’s too old for this shit.

But he feels better so it worked at least.

Idk what this is just random Severus has trauma from his father and copes in strange ways he doesn’t even think actually work (They do)

[sorendeimos]

Forgive Me Father

A little random idea of Severus returning to church after learning of the prophecy and being failed by not only two masters but a third.

The war was well underway when he heard the prophecy. It was hearing it, then relaying it, that made him switch sides. He heard the words spoken in that droning rasp, and something began to shift in his mind. Not fast enough to stop him, no mercy wasn’t that swift, but enough so that when he knelt at the feet of a false god, Severus felt fear and shame trickle down his spine. As realization struck, he knew he had to run, knew he had to save Her, had to save Them. He fled. He ran to their leader, begging for help, for absolution, for mercy for Them if not for himself, and he found false hope. He turned to the light as a spy. He reoriented himself as a man of faith, believing this double life would be penance enough for his sin. He was wrong. ---- ‘I have coveted, I have yearned, I have lied…’ He took a shaky breath, calloused hands gripping tighter to the rosary beads between his clasped palms. ‘I have killed, I have hurt, I have tainted. All in your name, which I thought right and just… I see now how I was wrong.’ The beads in his hands swayed slightly with his trembling, the effects of the curse still electrifying and tensing his muscles down to the bone and licking white-hot pain across his nerves. This was divine retribution, he knew that, so he made no sound of protest. The beads in his hands swayed slightly with his trembling, the effects of the curse still electrifying and tensing his muscles down to the bone and licking white-hot pain across his nerves. This was divine retribution, he knew that, so he made no sound of protest. ‘I beseech you, o Father, show Me the ways in which I may atone My sins and regain a place at your side…’ Severus felt a bead of sweat trail down his spine, leaving a chill to dance along in its wake. His robes were caked in blood and dirt. His face turned up to the window. His cheeks bore tear tracks cutting through dirt and ash. He was a mess, kneeling before the stained-glass that shone down on him in a vicious mockery of hope, of forgiveness. His collar, pristine hours ago now was stained. ‘Please… I’ll do anything… just show Me the path…’ He sat there for what felt like forever and no time at all before a wail brought him out of his thoughts. A cry that was trapped in his skull. ‘Severus you have to take him…’ ‘How can I when I’m the one that caused his cries?’ ‘Because She would want you to.’ He let out a sob, his head dropping again before he lifted his hands, unsure when they’d fallen to his lap and ran them over his face, then stood. ‘He will be safe with Us. You’ll be coming too. We both have sins to answer for, wolf.’ ‘We have much to atone for.’

[sorendeimos]

Some of the fics I’m working on

Enjoy some snippets of the fics I'm working on below! Most of these are Explicit or Mature due to multiple reasons, from sexual themes to graphic violence to just being heavy and difficult to wade through topics. Please read ahead and speculate with that in mind!

Eternal Damnation, Explicit, (Sexual)

The soul between them looked back down at his mangled corpse in front of Them all, at the crowd gathering around the mutilated bag of broken bones and bleeding flesh, at the bus he had been pushed in front of by his sobbing friends nearby. “Do I get to pick where I go?” He asked softly, and his voice shook a bit, as if he were scared of the answer. The two men looked at each other over his head, locking gazes, before Severus waved a hand coated in pitch and sharply clawed in dismissal. Lupin smiled a dazzling, straight and white smile back that had the other man rolling his eyes. “Of course you can, sweet soul. There’s no reason you couldn’t, really. It explains why both of us got the same assignment,” Lupin reached his own hand, stark white and finely manicured, into his waistcoat pocket to extract the golden watch. He gazed down at the face, clicked his tongue, and snapped it closed. He spoke as he placed it back away. “We should make this quick, however, as you may fade within, say, an hour.” “An hour and a half by My estimation.” “And you’ve never been wrong before, isn’t that right, Severus?” Lupin drawled, trailing his golden gaze back to lock with the narrowed one looking at him. “That was one time,” Severus hissed between clenched teeth, lips curling back in a snarl that showed off sharp pointed fangs. “So he’s the angel? I thought… well… I-it’s just.”

Becoming God, Severus POV, Mature (Heavy Themes. Sexual)

I have never been a privileged child. I never grew up with the assurance that my parents loved me and would protect and defend me to the ends of the earth. I grew up with no such illusions that this was a reality I lived within because if it were, She wouldn’t have cowered when he turned his attentions from beating Me for the infraction of the hour to Her. She would have already been between us, defending Me as best She could have. That doesn’t mean I don’t love them. As much as I hate to say that, I love them and I wish they were better. I wish that the God My father so ardently claims to worship would fix him so he was kind, or simply smite him dead. But God doesn’t exist, so I suppose I will have to take matters into My own hands.

Becoming God, Sirius POV, Mature (Heavy Themes, Sexual)

It is never easy to let go of your own upbringing. It’s never simple to accept who you are in the face of family looking down on you and sneering at what you’ve become, despite their best efforts to make you something - someone - that you aren’t. And by God did they try. Mother poked and prodded, snipped with words laced with poison meant to erode away all the “unseemly behaviours for someone of our ilk, Sirius” that came with being myself. But She never succeeded, and it was the worst day of My life when She said She had no eldest son. When She disowned Me and blasted My name off the family tree as I ran from home. It was also the best day of My life because I was finally free.

Coping, Lucius Chapter, Explicit (Sexual)

“This is unhealthy, Severus. Look at what I do to you.” Lucius ran soft fingers over the bruised flesh of Severus’ wrists. He pressed a kiss to one, then the other, and sighed. “You won’t let Me heal these, will you?” “Of course not, they’re to remind Me.” “Of what?” “That I’m alive.”

Mr. Loverman, Mature (Graphic Violence)

“Last chance.” Harry says, his eyes are dead, no longer sparkling green but flat and dangerous. He hasn’t been the same since Draco. The man panics, thrashing in the chair and trying to shake Harry off. He screams, yells that he knows nothing, that he wasn’t there, that he never hated Draco, that he wasn’t even in the country, anything to get Harry to hear him. By the time Harry is done with Pucey, the man has no teeth, a broken jaw, and the fear of one Harry James Potter engraved into his bones. He turns himself in for the list of charges the DMLE has on him two days later when the jaw pain becomes unbearable, and sobs with relief when they fix it. He refuses to give Harry up. He thanks them when they escort him to Azkaban, and he sobs when they lock him into his cell.

I hope you all look forward to these pieces! Any ideas or speculations on the storylines are ALWAYS welcome, though I reserve the right to confirming or denying them!

[sorendeimos]

A bit from the Severus Snape thread that I did on X

Read the threads here: part 1 | part 2

Severus and Remus, aged 15, are studying together in an out of the way alcove on the sixth floor. Severus, softly: My father used to love me. We used to go out together, he, my mother and I, to the park on weekends when he didn’t have to work. We would stay out for hours and hours. Mother would have packed a picnic. Father wasn’t drinking then, I remember that, and everything was good. Even if we lived in the shithole we did, things were good. He trails off, staring out of the window he is sat beside. Remus has stopped writing, but is still staring at the notes and book in his lap. Remus, just as softly: so what changed? Severus, starts and whips around to face Remus who is now looking up at him. He smiles ruefully, and speaks very simply, as if this were normal. Severus, resigned: I made a bubble. Out of thin air. At the dinner table, I giggled up a bubble. Remus stares up at Severus for a long while, his gaze, pained and heartbroken, is trained on Severus’ resigned and accepting one. Eventually, Severus sighs and goes back to his notes, perfectly content with pretending he hadn’t spoken at all. Remus let’s out a shaky breath, balls his fists up and rubs his eyes until the tears he felt threatening abated, then speaks. Remus: you created magic borne of pure happiness, and your father scorned you for it. Severus: yes. He’s never been kind or shown us love since. Remus: what a vile man. You didn’t deserve that. You don’t deserve that. Severus, after a beat of silence: I know. They settle back into their work, letting the conversation die.

[sorendeimos]

Forgive Me Father Part 2

So I'm working on a part two to this for a friend's birthday. It is, so far, the QUICKEST 2k I have written in a WHILE and it's all bc I'm a bit too interested in Snupin raising Harry.

Anyways: A sneak peek

“Severus, are you alright in there?” He called after knocking on the door. At no answer, he furrowed his eyebrows, eyes darkening with concern, before he turned, grabbed a pair of soft pyjama pants, underwear, and a shirt from one of the bags and returned again, knocking a bit louder. “Severus? I’ve got a change of clothes for you,” he tried again. Remus stood for a moment, then pressed his ear to the door, hearing nothing. Severus was not showering. “I’m coming in, Severus.” He opened the door to find Severus sitting in the shower, fully clothed, drenched in cold water, and staring at the wall. Remus sighed, his face dropping to a place between pity and understanding. “I’m the reason they’re dead, you know,” Severus whispered, not once moving and barely audible. Remus heard him anyway, and his blood roared. “What do you mean?” He heard himself ask. “I overheard the prophecy, and in an effort to keep appearances up, I told the Dark Lord. I didn’t hear the whole thing, but just enough before Dumbledore spotted Me and threw Me out. He sent Me to him, you know. Told Me to “Do, tell my master” what I’d heard. So I did. And he decided it was Lily. And Harry. And Potter. So I begged for Her life.” Remus’s blood ran cold. There was no way. Severus continued on. “I begged him to spare Her. Of course, I couldn’t ask him to spare Harry. There was no way to ask that or him without ending up dead. No way to deter him from his goal. And there was no love lost between Me and Potter,” Severus paused at that, turning his head from the spot he was staring at to stare directly into Remus’s eyes. “I begged him to spare Lily but not Her child and not Her husband, and in turn he said he would try. And She died regardless.”