#sirius wanted to leave because of how bad his family was and the potter's were a way out

[enbysiriusblack]

thinking about how different but also similar andromeda and sirius' disownment/running away was.

andromeda leaving, not because of ted, but because her family were were so prejudiced and corrupt. they all knew she was going to leave, it was an ultimatum- us or him. and she loved her family so much, but as soon as they made it clear she had to choose, she knew she had to leave them, because they didn't truly care about her or anyone else's happiness. druella and cygnus were fairly calm about it, as soon as she made her choice she was no longer their daughter. bellatrix was outraged, pleading for andromeda to stay and then refused to acknowledge she had ever existed once she had left. narcissa was sad mostly, she understood to a small degree and kept some of andromeda's belongings but never spoke to her again.

sirius leaving because he couldn’t cope. he had seen and experienced life and family outside of his own and ached to have that for his own. he had long realised his family weren't good people, and had twisted views which he despised and couldn't remain to be a part of. he left suddenly in the middle of the night, the evening before having gotten into a terrible fight with his parents and realised he had to go because it would only get worse. orion cared more that sirius was meant to be the heir than the fact he was losing his child, walburga was furious at the loss, being stuck with the wrong child and blamed the potter's for everything. regulus felt betrayed that sirius had left, that he didn't care enough to stay.

[lustsickforyou]

what side are you on?

sirius black x reader (romantic, to platonic) regulus black x reader (romantic, eventually) james potter x reader (if you squint)

summary: you were born into a pureblood family and taught a special ability since birth, you’ve been used your whole life and you start to want a change.

warnings: arranged marriage, abusive parents, talks of miscarriage, mentions of death, angst

a/n: basing the power off of a heart renderer from shadow and bone, so credits do that. i also added in a scene from call me by your name because i couldn’t resist. will be a multi part series. reader is slytherin.

part one , part two

Life hadn’t always been easy for you, it was something that seemed so normal at this point. You were born into a pureblood family, one of the sacred twenty eight. When your mother married your father they placed the expectation for her to bare his heir just as they did to everyone else. Your mother tried so hard to perform her duty, but pregnancy after pregnancy she had failed to do so, even though it wasn’t her fault. Each child that she had lost picked away at her soul, and she swore the last time she was pregnant that she would be done after that. She never even wanted kids in the first place.

That’s when you came along, a healthy daughter, but hardly what her husband had wished for. This daughter couldn’t carry on the family name. Your mother was so displeased with herself, the secrets the woman would share in whispers across the board got to her. So in attempt to save herself and her husband from their reputation being ruined, she made a deal with the devil. Tom Riddle himself. She swore that she would train her daughter to become a heart render at his own expense if he would marry her off to a respectable family. He, of course— agreed.

Heart renderers were rare, just like a legilimens. It was hard to perfect, but with you at home every day as a child and with lots of consequences if you did not perform to your mother’s liking, you mastered the art. You could do a plethora of things, both good and bad. You could make someone’s blood boil, get them to do whatever you wanted, get them to say things they would never normally say aloud. But you could also soothe a temper, calm someones heart rate, keep them warm. It was a blessing and a curse.

You were presented to Tom Riddle when you were eight, and he held up to his deal. Use you in exchange for a husband who had a well known name, that being Sirius Black. You two were to be married when you turn eighteen. The two of you spent a lot of time together at home, but rarely ever in school. He was a Gryffindor boy who was out of control, you were a Slytherin girl who kept to herself. Tom and his parents hoped this marriage would keep Sirius in line.

Many people at school feared you, in fact Dumbledore gave strict instructions for you to never use you powers in school. You understood this, followed the rules. The students didn’t understand, and would often say nasty things about you and your special abilities. How you were untrustworthy, that they needed to keep a distance from you for their own safety. You had never given them a reason to be scared, and yet here you were. Cursed with a power that only you saw could be good, but many found deceptive.

Now you were in your seventh year, used for your powers by Tom whenever he pleased, and Sirius had gone off the rails, leaving his family behind and the promise he gave to you along with them. Just before he left his home he came to you, he saw the good in you. Tried to convince you to run off with him for a better life, but you knew you couldn’t.

“Come with me, y/n.” he pleaded, looking down at you with hopeful eyes. You shook your head, stepping back from him. You wanted nothing more than to leave, to finally free yourself from not only your mother’s tight grip on you but Tom’s as well. “I can’t.” you whispered with tears in your eyes. Tom would kill you if you left, he had threatened it plenty of times when he noticed you grew weary of the things he made you do, the people he made you hurt. “Why?” Sirius tried to dig deeper, hopefully to make you realize that there was no reason why you shouldn’t go. “I can’t.” you repeated shakily. Everything in you was screaming to run, but you knew what Tom would do. He would hunt anyone you ever cared about, saving you for last before casting the unforgivable curse and take your life. Sirius stepped towards you. “Please.” he begged. You stepped back again, holding your hands up. The two of you turned your head when you heard footsteps coming down the hallway, you mother calling your name. You pushed him forward quickly. “Go.” you whispered with urgency. “Please come with me.” he pleaded. You held his arms in your hands and pushed him again. “Go.” you repeated but this time much more firm. With that he was gone, and you hadn’t seen him for months.

Now you sat by yourself at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall. You looked down at the book Sirius gifted to you on your eighteenth birthday just days before he left. It was a muggle book full of poems, something James had shown to him. You two had each other’s backs in the hardest of times. You understood each other on a different level. When he would panic, you would soothe his heart rate. When you would cry he would be there to comfort you. You nervously tapped your finger on the table, turning to see Sirius enter the Great Hall with his friends. They called themselves the Marauders, proud of the shenanigans the four got up to. You didn’t like them, mainly because you were jealous of them. James Potter was from a pureblood family, but nothing like yours. They were loving and kind. Remus was a half-blood boy that was far too good for this world, and Peter was a half-blood as well who was quiet and reserved. They got along with each other so well, you wondered if that’s where Sirius ran off to. To be with them.

Sirius’ eyes scanned the room, and they landed on his brother Regulus. You knew it must’ve been hard for him to leave his brother behind, but then again they were completely different. Unlike Sirius, Regulus was fully devoted to his work with the Dark Lord. You and him rarely ever spoke, mostly because you thought he may be afraid of you. Sirius turned away and sat down with his friends, but you noticed how every so often he would look towards the Slytherin table. Suddenly he stood up, making some excuse to leave his friends, and headed off down the hallway. You took this as your chance to speak with him, standing up and chasing after him.

“Sirius!” you called after him and he stopped in his tracks, turning around with tears in his eyes. “How are you?” you asked politely. “Good.” he lied to your face, but he knew that you knew how he felt. You could hear his heart pounding in his chest, another perk to being a heart renderer. “I— I read the book that you gave to me. The muggle one.” you tried to change the subject, but you couldn’t drop the fact that he was upset. “The poems, they’re really beautiful.” you commented. Sirius only stared at you. “I’m sorry that you’re sad.” you said softly, you always had a way with your words. You knew he was upset about seeing Regulus after months apart, you knew it stung. “I’m saying that because I wanted to tell you that I’m not mad at you for leaving. Not at all.” you explained. You would’ve left too, so why would you ever be mad at him for doing what you couldn’t? “I love you, Sirius.” you breathed out. You didn’t love him in the way many would expect. Sure you had a crush on him as a kid, but you knew the two of you would never work out. You had love for him, though. You held out your hand for him to shake on a deal. “Stay friends?” you asked even though it was a lie. You couldn’t live a double life, that would only put him and yourself in danger. Sirius knew that too. “For life?” he questioned.

You must’ve been ten, maybe eleven— playing in the woods behind your childhood home. You would play there for hours with Sirius. It was a peaceful place, no parents to scold the two of you, just you and him always. You tripped over a rock, hitting your knees on the ground making you cry at the pain. “It’s okay, I’m here.” Sirius comforted you. “For life?” you asked and he nodded. “For life.” he confirmed.

“For life.” you smiled, and he took your hand to shake it. He pulled you in for a hug, signaling he knew it couldn’t happen. You hugged him back, and soon after he pulled away. He stared at you, his eyes flicking between both of yours. He cleared his throat before walking off, leaving you standing alone in the hallway.

—

Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter sat in the room of requirement. The year before Dumbledore recruited them to join the Order, a cause to fight for freedom and away from the grips of the Dark Lord. They had been tasked by Albus to speak with a wizard who worked under Tom Riddle, a man who knew anything and everything about their upcoming plans. The only problem was the Marauders were having a hard time figuring out a plan. Once they reached this man during the fall break, they wondered how they would get him to rat out his boss without force. They never had any ill intention, that included torturing this man into speaking. Well— Remus and James had no ill intent. Sirius understood how evil the Dark Lord was, and he wouldn’t draw the line at anything if it meant taking him down. Peter often agreed with Sirius.

“You know what would make this easier?” Remus asked, turning towards the group with folded arms. “What?” James sighed, rubbing his face in annoyance. They had been going back and forth with ideas for hours. They could dress up in a Death Eater’s uniform and pretend they were on his side, but that wouldn’t work. This man was smart enough to know who was and wasn’t apart of the Death Eaters. They could torture him, but that was off the table. They could simply just ask, but when would that ever work? “If we had a heart render.” Remus shrugged and Sirius shook his head. “Absolutely not, y/n is off the table and there’s no way we’re going to find a heart render in time.” he was quick to speak up.

“Why exactly is she off the table?” Remus had peaked James’ interest. “Because I know her, and her family. Her family is like mine but a million times worse.” Sirius explained. “I don’t know about a million—” Peter mumbled and Sirius shot him a glare, making him go quiet. Everyone stared at Sirius with begging looks. “I’m serious, she works directly under Voldemort. She wouldn’t take the shot to betray him even if she had the chance.” he recalled to when he pleaded with her to go with him, and she wouldn’t. “That’s why she was taught heart render powers from a young age, she was literally born to work for him.” Sirius continued. “It doesn’t help that she’s gorgeous.” James added which earned a punch to his arm from Sirius. “Okay, ouch.” James grumbled.

“Okay, so maybe she was born for it. But let’s look at it from her stand point. I mean she was born and taught by her sadistic mother, traded off like she was nothing. Maybe she had no other choice.” Remus tried to be understanding. Sirius had told them all about your story. James pointed at him with raised eyebrows in agreement. “I mean think about it, Sirius. She’s a pureblood Slytherin girl who chooses not to associate herself with the Death Eaters at this school. Evan Rosier, Barty Crouch Jr. She won’t even look at them. Maybe there’s some good in her.” Remus continued. Sirius scoffed. “Trust me, there’s not.” Sirius mumbled and stood up. “We’ll find another way, but y/n is not it.” Sirius said sternly and they all slowly nodded, all except for James. Soon after everyone went back to their dorm and headed to bed for the night. James laid awake, tossing and turning. He couldn’t get the idea out of his head, you could help them. He had been told no on a multitude of occasions, but when has that ever stopped him?

—

A week had passed and the four boys walked down the hallway after their classes, all heading for the Gryffindor common room. James turned towards them just as they passed the library, spotting you sitting by yourself inside. This was his chance. “I have to go to— bye!” he lied terribly, running off from them. “What was that about?” Peter asked and Remus laughed. “He probably saw Lily or something.” he teased. James rolled his eyes behind them.

James entered the library, hesitantly walking over to you. You were sitting quite peacefully reading your book. James pulled out the chair next to you. “Hello, y/n. Looking as beautiful as ever.” he complimented and you looked up from your book with a confused and annoyed expression. He stared back and after a beat of silence you finally spoke. “Okay.” you sighed, closing your book and grabbing your things to leave. “No wait, you don’t have to leave!” he spoke up and you turned towards him again. “I’m not a fool, Potter. You clearly want something.” you said in detest. “Okay, fine. I want something.” he finally admitted. “What’s that?” you questioned with an annoyed tone. “I want to know more about heart renderers. Everyone says their so bad but— you don’t seem all that bad to me. I’ve never even see you use it against anyone. Or use it at all.” he shrugged. “So what does someone of your nature do?” he asked. “I think you know.” you sighed. “There has to be some good to it, every horrible thing must have a balance.” James almost begged to know.

You finally gave in. “Okay— I can soothe someone’s temper, slow their heart and make them relax. Which clearly you need because I can hear your heart beating loudly.” you pointed out. “You can hear my heart?” he asked curiously. “I can hear everyone’s. Who is this Lily Evans by the way, every time someone says her name your heart beats quickly.” she observed. “Wait— how do you know that?” he asked. You rolled your eyes and finally set down your book. “When you walked in here Remus said Lily Evans, and your heart quickened in pace.” you teased.

“That’s not important.” James mumbled. “If my heart is beating fast then show me how you calm it.” he asked. “Show me how you can get someone to tell you anything just like Sirius says.” James was trying to gain her trust, to show her he wasn’t afraid like everyone else was. “I can’t, I’m not allowed to on school grounds.” you leaned back in your chair. “No one has to know.” James smirked and you stared at him for a second. He wasn’t lying, and he definitely seemed curious about your power. “Give me your hand.” you gave in. James held out his hand palm up. Your slim fingers trailed down his cold hand, everything seemed to suddenly move slow. His heart beat was loud in your ears, and once your fingers reached his wrist and you touched his pulse, it slowed down to a calming rate. “Tell me what you want.” you spoke softly, your buttery smooth voice being the only thing he could hear. He looked into your eyes, before opening his mouth to speak before he even had the chance to stop.

“I need a heart render, give you the chance to do some good in this world.” he answered honestly. You pulled away and thought for a moment. This was your chance, a safe distance away from Tom Riddle and your mother. This was your chance to finally do some good i with your power. You knew you could trust James, Sirius sure did. They were apart of the Order, something you had grown familiar with when Sirius would tell you about it late hours of the night. This whole thing, him needing a heart renderer, had to do with something like that.

“I’m in.”

—

James walked into the room of requirement for their weekly meeting, a proud smile on his face. “I found a heart renderer.” he said confidently. “What? How did you find—” Peter started but was quickly interrupted when you walked in behind him. “Y/N Y/L/N at your service.” you smiled and everyone had a shocked look on their face, Sirius was no exception. “Y/N Y/L/N?” Both Peter and Remus said aloud. You laughed, moving across the room to face all four boys. “I’ve never had that reaction before.” you smiled which quickly faded when you saw the look on Sirius’ face.

“What are you doing here?” he deadpanned. “I’m here to help.” you shrugged. “James here found me in the library and gave me the whole run down on your little issue here.” you looked towards James who still looked incredibly proud at his doings. “What the hell were you thinking, James? She’s dangerous!” Sirius yelled and you looked over at him with a hurt expression. “You didn’t seem to think so when you came to me to calm yourself down.” you exposed him and he glared at you.

“Listen, we could really use her help.” Remus interjected, and Sirius rolled his eyes. “I don’t mean this to come off rude, but how do we know we can trust you?” Peter asked and you looked at him now. “I mean— don’t you work for you know who?” he asked. “It was more like a limited partnership.” you explained without really having to say much. Everyone fell silent. “Listen, if I was really that devoted to Tom Riddle I definitely would not be helping you idiots get valuable information on him. Yet here I stand.” you held out your arms.

“Okay, so say we can trust you. How do we know you won’t rat us out.” Remus asked and you stared at him before sighing. “I have been used by him my whole life, and never have I been given the chance to actually use these abilities for the better benefit of actually helping people. I think the Order can do just that. I know you’re all suspicious of me, maybe you think I’m using my powers on you right now to trick you, but trust me— you would know.”

“She’s right, it’s like a whole other experience.” James laughed and they all turned quickly to look at him. “She used her powers on you?” Sirius asked in shock. “Of course she did, and let me tell you, whatever she did to me will definitely work on that guy we’re trying to talk to.” James defended your case, something you had never experienced before. “Thank you, James. That was really kind.” you smiled and he nodded. “Fine, but after this you’re done.” Sirius was still suspicious.

“Great! When do we start?”

[jilyawards]

The Jily Fandom Rec List 2024 is a compilation of Jily stories our readers want to keep an eye on for this year's awards.

AUGUST

A Matter of Fairness (completed, 3.9k) by @yallthemwitches. Rated E.

James' Quidditch match is derailed by a very distracting Head Girl.

stitch the wound (completed, 15.7k) by @loverscrossmp3. Rated T.

moments on a battlefield and in a home. there are only so many things you can do when in hiding before you begin remembering.

101 Padfoots (completed, 4k) by @tedwardremus. Rated G.

An accident in potions class results in 101 Padfoots running around Hogwarts while Lily and James work together to round them all up

swimming through sick lullabies (completed, 4.7k) by @gigglesandfreckles-hp. Rated T.

“So, I’ve got a question,” James says, leaning forward slightly. Lily nods without looking at him, busying herself with wiping the puddle of water from the condensation of the glass. “If you were meeting Kallus for a date, why’d you bring a book?” She looks up sharply, her cheeks flushing a soft pink. “What?” He smirks, letting his eyes flicker down toward the book in emphasis. “Were you anticipating a rubbish date?”

the dance of mischief and duty (completed, 3.5k) by @gigglesandfreckles-hp. Rated T.

Lily Evans is an infuriating mosaic of traits—beautiful and she knows it, captain of the House Quidditch team, and the loudest voice in nearly any room. She has this way of floating through the school, her laughter ringing out as she moves between corridors and classes, one arm usually slung around Sirius Black’s shoulder and the other gesticulating wildly as she spins tales of misadventure. But she also sort of has a point, and that’s possibly the most infuriating part about her.

the road to reunification is not so smooth (WIP, 10.2k as of 31 August 2024) by wisterial. Rated T.

Other than her persistent guilt and loneliness, Lily Evans is doing perfectly okay. That is, until her friends give her phone number to James Potter, an old schoolmate she would very much like to avoid. If that wasn't enough of a problem, Lily meets a boy in the local library, who appears just as lonely as her, and she begins to realize that he may be the son she gave up for adoption eight years ago. Or: The story of how Lily, James, and Harry reunite, and eventually learn how to be a family (with the help of time, their friends, and a lot of ice cream).

bad day wall (WIP, 14.8k as of 31 August 2024) by apalapucian. Rated M.

lily calls it the bad day wall. it's like this weird communal one-liner diary thing. every time i think i'm over her something happens and it hits me just as stupidly intense as all the other times. i'm SICK of it why can't people just LIKE by default the people they LOVE? why do they have to be separate feelings? it would make things so much less complicated or: in sixth year, lily starts talking to a stranger(?) through messages on a wall. she also befriends james potter. these two things are completely not related.

Guilty as Sin (WIP, 56.7k as of 31 August 2024) by ohevans. Rated E.

This is not sustainable. He cannot keep being so god damn perfect or it’s going to ruin her. It sort of already has, really. Lily Evans is a practical young woman, and having sex dreams about one’s best friend that leave one waking up hot and bothered at 3:32 in the morning is decidedly impractical. Especially when said friend—self-proclaimed early bird—started Mamma Mia! together over facetime at half-past eleven solely because she said she couldn’t sleep, even though he likes to get up early and go on long runs before work. And then she went and fell asleep mid-lyric to Dancing Queen and he sent her a string of text messages and stayed awake long enough to finish the movie, all the while she was passed out on the couch dreaming of his face between her thighs. Again. For the third night in a row. (It would be the eighth, but there was one night she had a stress dream about missing her Eighteenth Century Women’s Lit exam.) This is not sustainable.

Check out the previous months' recs too: January, February, March || April || May || June || July

And don't forget to check out the Jily Week 2024 masterlist!

[letstrythisout4]

James Sirius Potter

Big brother, sooooooo big brother. 

Incredibly powerful, his accidental magic was insane growing up. Unintentionally was made into the golden child, he just had a lot of expectations put on him early on because of how intense his magical range was demonstrated to be at such an early age.

Looks more like Fleamont than James or Harry (but like they are all clones of each other). You had to know each of them to really see the differences ( in other words when he showed up at Hogwarts the staff was like “omg he looks just like harry” and flitwick was like “no that’s monty”) (the thought just occurred but I like the idea that monty and flitwick were buddies cause they both were into dueling)

Menace but good at hiding it. You cannot catch him doing anything wrong. And I mean from harmless pranks to criminal behavior, you cannot catch him. No reliable evidence. Sure, maybe you saw him, but can you prove it? No.

McGonagall and Flitwick are on it though, some days something will happen and no they can’t prove it was James but look at the way he’s smiling, he’s so smug. “Potter, do you mind helping me reorganize my classroom?” “...Your classroom?” “Yes my classroom” *4 hours later, he finally leaves, knowing that was his unofficial detention*

(He always agrees to help because 1) he was raised to be helpful when available. 2) Its best to take the punishment now, then let them simmer in their suspicion)

Fighter. 

James feels like the kind of guy to punch first and ask questions later. I think all of the Next Gen are fighters but I think James is the easiest to rile up. Like you don't really need to do much, one comment about his family, done (really, just look at any of them weird). The kind of guy where you can damn him to hell but if you look at his mom the wrong way, he’ll jump you. Fighting is the only thing he ever gets caught for and he never denies it.

Guilty pleasure is smoking. He doesn’t do it super frequently but he only smokes magical cigarettes that don’t fuck up your lungs so is it really that bad? (Yes, it's still bad. I like to think that for every magical solution, there is a new problem yk. No wizard cigarettes don’t fuck up your lungs, but it can’t be incredible healthy to inhale magic like that frequently. Maybe it messes with your magical control so like it may make you put too much or too little power into your everyday magic) If it wasn’t bad he wouldn’t hide it from his parents. 

(Doesn’t feel like the kind of person to do anything other than smoke and drink. He doesn’t think less of anyone who wants to do more but I think his magic is really reactive and what he does already is more than enough.)

Speaking of parents, dude loves his parents a lot. (More of a dad harry headcanon but I like to think that the Potter kids can tell Harry anything, do they always? No, they are kids, but when push comes to shove they know they can trust their dad with anything.)

Like to think that he has really good intuition. He just knows. 

He’s also good at Divination. I love the idea that Divination to a certain degree is just a "gift", some people are more adept than others and James is one of those people. It’s well known to the point where when people want advice on the Divination homework, want a tarot reading, tea reading, etc etc, they go to James and he’s always right. 

Is a true student athlete. Like yeah he loves Quidditch but he has a potions exam coming up and the potion exam takes priority (Oliver Wood just shed a tear somewhere). 

That said he is freakishly good at managing his time and keeping up with all of his classes, tutoring and quidditch. I feel like after the Golden Trio era, Hermione would push against time turners being given and in turn James wouldn’t be allowed to take as many classes, SO to get around what he harassed like half of the staff to tutor him in the advanced material of their subject. 

Loves his name but also feels a lot of pressure. Named after two wizards that are greatly admired, at least by his father, he wants to do right by them.

Doesn’t get into arguments frequently but when he does he’s brutal. James loves his family, but when he’s hurt, he’s hurt, and he is going to bring whoever put him in that mood down with him, family or not. 

The kind of person to never date and when they finally do it’s miraculously the love of their life who he will marry and spend eternity with.

Best class is transfiguration.

Letterman jackets.

Baseball fan.

Kind of person to see a first year looking lost and walk them to the otherside of the castle where their class is. 

Definitely prefect and head boy.

Was the one to break the silence and start clapping for Albus when he got sorted to Slytherin.

Loves his siblings, but like he’s definitely closer with the twins and Teddy. He’s close with his siblings too, don’t get me wrong, but he wants to be a good role model for his siblings and he doesn’t really have to when around the older cousins. 

Listens to Mitski and Childish Gambino.

Not incredibly talkative or extroverted, he has a solid three friends plus the army that is his family and he’s good with that.

The kind of kid to walk into the living room where Harry and Ginny are sitting, do a backflip, and walk out.

(as a neurodivergent person myself i like the different neurodivergent James headcanons, in particular the idea that he is bipolar, i think writing hp characters as having these types of disorders can be so important on a representation level but also in a large worldbuilding scale as the question of how does the wizarding world perceive mental disorders etc. lemme know if anyone would care to hear my thoughts on these ideas cause i have many)

[once-upon-an-imagine]

Mmmmm

If u still want dialogue requests, maybe Sirius comforting the reader (platonically) due to her dad just generally sucking and being low-key sexist to her at some fancy "the noble and most ancient house of black" party/ball/whatever fancy rich ppl host? (She's also from one of those families, they're betrothed)

Also, hope ur day's better!!

I think this might have been a bit more angsty that you wanted to but I still hope you like it 😁 Warnings: arranged marriage; Lestrange!reader; reader is drunk; bad family situation (mentions and hints of abuse) Disclaimer:  I don’t own Harry Potter 😊 gif isn't mine 😊

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Till Death Do Us Part

"Hey! It's the rest of the Marauders!" you announced happily as Sirius opened the door to his dorm. "How come they weren't at our engagement party?" you asked, looking at him.

"Because, love, your parents only got us, your brothers, and my brother out for tonight, remember?"

"Oh, right" you giggled. "Don't worry guys, you didn't miss anything good. It was soooo boring" you laughed.

"We can see that, love" James smirked. "Is she drunk?"

"Hammered" Sirius explained as he walked you over to his bed. "I didn't want her to go back to Slytherin like this" he commented.

"Smart" Remus nodded. "What happened?"

"The usual" Sirius shrugged as you sat down on his bed. "Her father being a prick. My dad being a prick. Our mothers being-"

"Bitches" you snorted, before he could finish, making all four boys turn to look at you. "Sorry, that is no way to talk about my mother-in-law" you laughed.

"What about your mother?" Peter asked confused.

"Oh, she is a bitch" you assured him.

"Hey, could you guys... go get something form the kitchen to sober her up?" Sirius asked them, James quickly getting the hint that he wanted all three of them out of there, got up and nodded.

"Sure thing, mate" he said, looking at the other two and grabbing the Map. "Anything you fancy, love?"

"Oh, if they have anything with potatoes or cheese on it, you would make me the happiest woman on Earth, Potter" you smiled sweetly at him.

"I'll see what I can do" he winked at you before the three of them left.

"Do you have anything that I can use to take off my makeup?" you asked Sirius as he looked through his trunk for clothes to give you.

"Um, yeah" he said, leading you to the bathroom. He gave you whatever you needed, placed his clothes so you could change, and gave you a toothbrush you used whenever you stayed there, since this hadn't been the first time.

"Thanks, Siri" you smiled wearily at him before he started to leave. "W-wait, um-" you said, feeling your cheeks burn. "C-could you please help me with m-my dress?"

"Yeah" he smiled before he started working on the back of your dress.

When it was finally undone, Sirius saw you take in a deep breath and felt his heart aching a little at how uncomfortable it looked. But that wasn't all he noticed. He saw faint bruises on your back and your arms. He felt sick to his stomach knowing he recognized them very well, since he had very similar ones on his body.

"They don't hurt as much anymore" you said quietly as Sirius looked at you through the mirror. He placed a soft kiss on your head and turned around.

"I'll be right out if you need me, love, okay?" he said and you thanked him.

A few minutes later, you came out of the bathroom to find Sirius already in his pajamas, sitting on his bed. He offered you a smile and a glass of water which you gladly took, sitting next to him. The two of you were silent for a moment until you spoke again.

"I'm sorry you have to marry me" you said, quietly as you gripped your glass.

"What?" he asked a little confused. "Why would you say that?"

"I don't know" you shrugged. "You can do a lot better, as my brothers were pointing out tonight to your brother and everyone else" you chuckled sadly.

"Your brothers are idiots" he waved it off.

"Still" you said, quietly. "You can call it off if you want to. You know that, right?"

"So can you" he frowned, confused but you shook your head.

"It doesn't work that way with the women in our world, Sirius" you smiled wearily at him. "Plus, even if I could, I wouldn't" you informed him, surprising him a little. "I know that... you didn't even want to get married and... if you did, I wouldn't be your first choice, and I know we don't really love each other that way but... I was relieved when I found out it was you" you said with a small smile.

"You were?" he asked, confused and you nodded.

"I think you and Regulus are the only ones that aren't... like our parents" you said, quietly. "So, if my fate was to be with someone in any of those families" you said, resting your head on his shoulder. "I'm glad it's you" you smiled, not noticing Sirius smile as well.

"Well, I'm glad it's me too then" he said, kissing your forehead.

"You don't have to lie, Sirius" you chuckled sadly. "I know I'm not the prettiest, or the brightest, or... fit to be a wife, really, as my father likes to repeatedly point out" you said, breaking Sirius' heart at how little you thought of yourself. True, the two of you didn't have a romantic relationship, but you had been friends your entire lives and you had been the only one who didn't stop talking to him when he got sorted into Gryffindor. And he loved you very much. "I promise I'll try my best to be the wife you deserve, Siri" you said quietly, making Sirius pull away from you a little.

"Hey, look at me" he said, gently placing his hand on your cheek and making you face you. His heart broke when he saw a few tears in your eyes. "You don't have anything to prove, okay? Not to me. Ever" he assured you. "You are one of the best people I've met, and I'm not gonna let your stupid father or your idiot brothers convince you that you're not good enough. I know that this situation isn't ideal for either of us but, love, I would choose to marry you a million times before I'd let your father pick any of those pricks that could hurt you" he said in a stern tone. "We're gonna be okay, love" he said, hugging you to him. "And I promise I won't let anyone hurt you again" he said, kissing your temple before he turned you to face him again. "No more silly apologies, okay?" he smiled sweetly, wiping away the last few tears on your cheeks. "We're a team now. We're in this together... till death do us part" he said, making you laugh.

"You're an idiot" you chuckled.

"I'm your idiot" he smirked. "Foreveeer" he said in a creepy voice making you laugh and hit him with his pillow.

"Alright, lovebirds, we've got the food" James said, entering the dorm with Remus and Peter behind them carrying an endless amount of food with them.

"You guys know I'm not that drunk, right?" you laughed as the placed everything in the middle like a picnic.

"Well, that is very pretentious of you, Miss Lestrange" James chuckled. "We're also hungry" he informed you. "Plus, I got cheesy potatoes" he said, getting out a container and your eyes widen.

"I love you, Potter" you said, getting away from Sirius and grabbing the plate from him.

"Seriously? In front of your husband?" Sirius asked, offended, sitting next to you. Sirius was right. This situation was not ideal, but you'd choose him every day over anybody else. You were going to be okay.

The End

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

A/N: hope you loves liked it!

[atlasdoe]

THE HOGWARTS CLASS OF 1978 - pt 20

JAMES POTTER

Name - James Potter

Blood status - Purebloood

Date of birth - 27th March 1960

House - Gryffindor

Academic achievements - Chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch team, Quidditch captain, Headboy

He was killed by Voldemort trying to protect his wife and son after they were betrayed by their secret keeper

Cannon

Both of his parents were elderly even by wizarding standards

Having been conceived so late in his parents lives, he was raised in a doting household with little material limits and pampered a great deal. Hence, it was no surprise that he's grew to be proud. arrogant and boastful but deep down still a good person

At some point during his school years, James took a photo of Hogwarts Castle at sunset and gave it to Remus

At the age of sixteen James' parents allowed Sirius to move in with them so he could escape his family

Both of James' parents attended his and Lilys wedding

In around 1977 he and Sirius were involved in a motorbike chase with two Muggle policemen. Although the chase started off as a bit of fun, it turned more serious when the pair were attacked by three men on broomsticks

He and Lily defied Voldemort three time

At some point between 1979 and 1980 James' parents died of Dragon Pox and he inherited the cast Potter family fortune from them which enabled him to comfortably support his family without the need for a paying job

James also used his wealth to support a Remus who was en employed due to his status as a werewolf

Headcanons

Pansexual

Growing up, whenever his parents had to go to work or out with their friends they would drop them off at the ice cream shop where Florean Fortescue would watch him for the day as he also took care of Alice. Barty Crouch Jrs parents also did the same

Usually, when they were really young theyd only just sit in a booth together and colour and play hide and seek in the shop (which theyd always get in trouble for) and as they got older theyd be allowed to go around Diagon Alley but only if they stuck together and would stick to the village only. (And theyd have like everyone there keeping an eye on them because Alices father is well known and liked so nobody would let anything bad happen to them anyways.)

* Alice goes to Hogwarts first and when she comes back she is telling stories upon stories about school to the point where James and Barty would tease her about always talking about Hogwarts and nothing else.

* James goes next and gets sorted into Gryffindor along with Alice. While at Hogwarts Alice watched James like a hawk for his first few weeks, she really was the older sister he never had and she was so excited to share Hogwarts with him. She gave him a tour and told him everything about everyone and wanted to know all of his thoughts

* When Barty joined he was sorted into Slytherin and made it his mission to get James and Alice to leave him alone. He wanted to fit in and he had no trouble in doing so. He made sure that he acted his worse around James and Alice and no matter how hard they tried they weren't getting him to change

* Alice gave up on Barty before James did

* James became friends with Dorcas Meadows when they were in their fourth year during a game of seven minuets in heaven

* James had wanted to befriend Dorcas for a while, mostly because she was Remus’ step sister and James thought they would get on most

* Dorcas was hesitant to be his friend at first because of not only the history and common knowledge f James hating all Slytherins but just because she didnt think they would be good friends, but she did accepted his hand of friendship

* That night they came up with three ruled for their friendship also 1) No house slander off of the Quidditch pitch 2) No telling on each other to Remus and 3) Only say "I love you" if its for a dramatic goodbye

* Since that day James and Dorcas began to build a bond. One that went further than house colours and rivalry. From the friendly nods that they gave each other in the corridor to the countless times that Slughorn now had to call them out for talking too much. Something had sparked between the two that only grew into a friendship that neither of them could ever deny

While Lily and James were in hiding James got a letter from Dorcas which she sighed off with "I love you" James knew what it meant but couldn't do anything since he was in hiding

He was a little bit pissed off that he didn't make Prefect in his year since he thought he had it in the bag. He started working more in his academics after that and improved so much that he became Head Boy

While Quidditch captain he chose who was on the team based on his friends. He told everyone that every position was up for grabs but there was no universe where he wasn't having Sirius, Alice, Frank and Mary on the team

Everyone was his friend but he was not everyone's friend. There was only a few people who James truly cared about

Those people were Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans, Mary MacDonald, Alice Fortescue, and Frank Longbottom

His first crush was Patricia Rakepick who was in her fifth year when his was in his first

He secretly dated Regulus Black during his fifth year and Regulus' fourth. The only people who knew was Sirius, Alice and Pandora Ollivander. James and Regulus had an agreement that James could tell Sirius if Regulus could tell Pandora. Alice found out about them after walking in on them kissing

Regulus started ignoring James after Sirius ran away because he was mad at James for letting Sirius stay with him. James attempted to get Regulus to talk to him but gave up completely when rumors that Regulus had joined the Death Eaters started going around the school

He and Lily got together during the summer before their seventh year

When James and Lily got married they went all out. They had a wedding weekend in the country side and has a massive reception that everyone they knew was invited to

[thesoupinursocks]

harry james potter hc list i've compiled over a week or two---

part one??

-can fall asleep anywhere. literally. people have found him sleeping in the weirdest places around the castle 24/7 and the first years are always confused but everyone else is like "yeah no just leave him be, he's got a lot of shit going on."

-when sirius told him that harry could live with him if he wanted to, harry was so exited and nervous and like overwhelmed that on the way back to the castle he puked in a bush (he makes ron and hermione swear to never mention it to anyone ever)

-his memory is actually so shit, and he has no clue as to why it is. you tell him anything and he will immediately ask you "wait say that again"

-when remus was his professor, he would wait after class and risk being late because he knew remus would give him one of those bite sized chocolates he always has in his pockets.

-somtime he explores the castle at night when he gets nervous about the O.W.L.S, and it calms him down

-he once had to send hedwig out to get him quills because he always looses them and he apologized so many times to her because of how she was going to have to,, "carry her family's plucked out feathers" back to him.

-he can walk in heels effortlessly and he has no clue how

-his favorite color is actually purple but he tells everyone it's red

-he hates socks. despises them. will actually refuse to wear them in his shoes no matter how hard hermione begs him to.

-he still has the sweater molly made for him in his first year because that was the first christmas present he had ever gotten

-is secretly is a cat person but can't find it in himself to tell sirius

-he hates holidays, and despises halloween the most. he doesn't tell remus and sirius though because he knows that was the last week of their lives that everything was ok for them and everyone was alive and happy, and he'd feel horrible ruining that for them.

-goes on "dates" with luna in muggle restaurants just to "propose" to her so they can get free cake. they have hit at least 23 places with this method and it hasn't once failed.

-didn't know how to read very well until hermione taught him in 2nd year

-ron and him are literally the most homoromantic best friends out there and half the school is convinced their dating

-has shaky hands and can't tie his shoes that well

-is quite literally the casanova of griffindor tower and remus finds this hilarious

-grows his hair out to his shoulders and eventually cuts it all off when he's 18.

-he asks hermione how to shave because he has to much pride to ask remus or sirus

-sirius ties his tie for him because no matter how hard he trys he just can't get it right. sirius thinks of his brother every time he does this for him, and when harry grew his hair out and it looked almost identical to regulus's, he cryed.

-harry has such a horrible sleeping schedule that somtimes he just passes out and literally had no control over it. like one moment he's awake and the next hes on the floor snoring.

-stayed up with ron for like 4 hours in his first year one night making a cool looking signature for himself because so many ppl were asking for it

-buys ron anything he wants off the trolly and refuses to let him feel bad for it because it's "only twice a year ron" and "let me spoil my best mate alright?"

-thought had a crush on hermione in first year because he had those "butterflies" that everyone always talks about, but it turned out that he was just going to be sick.

-has the immune system of the average toddler. bro breaths and hes like dead on the common room couch for 3 days under mrs. weasleys hand made quilt, being hand fed soup

-has said "fuck it, we ball" on one to many occasions.

-knows a surprising amount of french because of a french-english/english-french dictionary he found in the closet he use to sleep in.

-is the kind of person to say "whoopsies" when he does literally anything

-anytime he drops somthing he says "that wasn't me"

-has no concept of time. what's the day? he has no clue. time? month? what even are those. he just guesses when he writes the date on his papers.

-prefers the blue gatorade to the red one

-he hates carbonated drinks. literally cant stand them.

i might post a part two if anyone wants it

[vinylfoxbooks]

August 9 - Cemetery | @jartylusmicrofics | wc: 1519 Character death

There’s a cemetery near the Black mansion that the boys like to visit. Regulus has always had a fascination with all things dark and dismal -- probably from his upbringing if he’s being honest about it -- and with that fascination came along his love for cemeteries. He doesn’t quite know what he likes about them, maybe it’s the idea of cemeteries, bodies hidden just underneath the ground for acres of land. Maybe it’s the weird sense of community that Regulus gets when he thinks of all these strangers buried next to each other. Maybe it’s the comfort that he gets to see people get when he watches them visit their loved ones. Maybe it’s the idea that one day Regulus will be dead and none of the bad that happened to him in life will mean anything. Maybe it’s the way that kids tell horror stories of the ghosts coming to life when they snuck into the cemeteries in the middle of the night. Maybe it’s-

Regulus loves cemeteries. 

And maybe it’s because that’s where he met Barty Crouch Jr. Fellow heir to a Sacred 28 family that he thinks he may have met once at a ball one of the families was hosting. 

They met at a cemetery because Barty loves cemeteries. But, unlike Regulus, he knows why he loves them. It’s the death, a concept that Barty has been obsessed with since his own childhood. It’s a twisted enjoyment, in some way, but he’s never denied that he’s a little fucked in the head. 

Regulus and Barty met when Regulus was perched in a tree near the back of the cemetery near the Black manor and Barty walked straight up to the tree and sat leaning against it, playing with his switchblade and humming a little bit to himself. At first, Regulus didn’t really want to make himself known, but as the last light of day was beginning to fade and the cold street lamps were starting to flicker to life around them casting a faint, eerie glow over the cemetery, Barty looked up and nearly jumped out of his skin upon seeing a deathly pale figure hunched over in the tree, looking right back at him. 

“Jesus you fuckin’ freak,” Barty swore upon getting his heart back in his chest, “What the fuck are you doing up there?”

“People watching,” Regulus muttered into the dark, much quieter than Barty’s own voice, “And I was up here first, it’s not my fault you’re oblivious. This tree doesn’t even have that many leaves left.” And from then on, there was a beautiful friendship that blossomed between the two of them, one that later turned into a long-term relationship full of the two of them visiting the cemetery whenever they could, usually heading straight to the back and finding themselves sitting around the tree that they met. 

Regulus loves cemeteries and maybe it’s partly because that’s where he properly met James Potter. His older brother’s best friend, someone untouchable and someone that Regulus has hated since Sirius started talking about his ‘best friends’ every time he talked to Regulus. 

James’ love for cemeteries is unexpected of a person like them. But unlike the reasons that Barty and Regulus love cemeteries, they love them because they love the idea that there is a place to end up when you die. James has always been scared of death, but they found comfort in the idea that all of those people in the cemetery found their afterlife, found their place to go, and were reunited with long lost loved ones. 

Which is how Regulus and Barty met James. As they usually do, the two were sitting around the tree in the back of the cemetery, watching the sunset that they could just barely see over the houses around them. That’s when Regulus spots a taller figure, silently walking through the back of the cemetery, stopping in front of several graves and wiping away the dirt that has long settled on the graves to reveal what Regulus assumed was the names on each one, before nodding to themself, saying a couple words, then moving on. It was methodical and Regulus could tell that the person had done it many times before, even if not with these graves. 

“Hey B, watch that person.” Regulus mutters, elbowing his boyfriend and pointing in the direction of the person oblivious to the eyes watching them. The couple watch the person for a while, watching as they make their way closer to the tree that they’re sitting at before they finally look up and meet eyes with Barty, nearly jumping out of their skin. 

Originally they clearly intended to ignore the two of them and continue on their routine, but Barty called out to them before they could fully kneel in front of another gravestone, “Hey! What’re you doin’ over there?”

The person once again jumps before slowly, maybe even cautiously, making their way towards the tree, “Nothing of importance.” They shake their head, “Why do you want to know?”

Barty shrugs, “Just like knowin’ things about people. What’s your name?” The person goes to answer, but just as they opened their mouth, Regulus recognised them. Recognised their golden rounded glasses and crazy hair that irritates the shit out of Regulus, recognised their body language. 

“James Potter.” Regulus answered for them, sneering just a bit, “Didn’t know you enjoyed dwelling in places just as unpleasant as yourself. 

“Likewise.” James rolls their eyes in response, before starting to walk away. 

It was a rough first meeting, and a rough second and third before Regulus finally stopped being ‘prickly enough’ -- Barty’s words not his own -- for James to actually want to interact with them. By the fourth time that they met, Regulus had told Barty all about his issues with the taller but that didn’t stop him from calling out to them. 

James once again turns to them upon hearing their name, face dropping at the sight of Regulus before they reluctantly made their way over to the tree just like they always did considering Barty always called to them. This interaction went a little smoother, though not by much and every interaction that the three of them had out in the cemetery by the Black manor went better until eventually Regulus would’ve called them friends -- strong words coming from Regulus who’s adamant that he doesn’t need more friends than he already has. 

In the end it was Regulus that fell for them first, Barty followed shortly after and they asked James out one of the nights that they were all in the cemetery together. 

All three of them loved cemeteries, specifically the one by the Black manor and it became commonplace to find the three of them dancing around the cemetery hand in hand to music that James would play with the cassette player that they had or just sitting around the three. At one point James introduced their boyfriends to their routine and the other two would humor them in it. 

Regulus, Barty, and James loved cemeteries, which is why when things were getting hard with the war and tensions were getting high with the Blacks and the Crouchs, the three of them would secretly meet in the cemetery by the Black Manor that they loved in the cloak of night, illuminated only by the cold, eerie street lamps.

Regulus and James loved cemeteries, which is why Barty would always visit their graves -- James and Regulus paid for a lot that they and all of their friends would be buried together in when their times came -- after he escaped from Azkaban. James loved cemeteries because they found comfort in the idea that everyone was able to find each other in the afterlife and Barty only hoped that Regulus was with James, even if his body had never been recovered. Regulus loved cemeteries because he liked the idea of community that it gave him, he liked the dark and dreary beliefs around them. 

Barty loved cemeteries because he loved the idea of death, he thought it was fascinating. 

That’s why, standing in front of Regulus and James’ grave in the cemetery by the Black Manor an escaped convict and with a completely different face -- one that Barty refused to believe was himself sometimes and one that Barty knew Regulus and James would hate to see yet still love him either way -- Barty decides that he doesn’t love cemeteries anymore. Not when he’s seen too much death, not when he’s seen the death of James and Regulus, and especially not when he’s part of the very group that killed both of his lovers. 

Barty loved cemeteries, but he loves James and Regulus, which is why he walks out of the cemetery by the Black Manor for the last time and vows to protect James and Pandora’s children from the very men that killed his lovers -- them being Dumbledore and Voldemort. 

The next time that Barty is in the cemetery is when his body is being lowered into the ground and he’ll finally get to reunite with his lovers, wherever they are.

[artemisia-black]

Ofc, one from my favourite work of yours: Regulus’s face turned a blotchy shade of red, and for a brief instant, he looked as though he might cry. Instead, his face hardened and seemed so vicious that Sirius almost regretted his jibe.

“Climb on your high Hippogriff all you want,” Regulus said, his voice deathly calm, “But I honour my family, and unlike you, I do not labour under false delusions.”

“Pray tell, what are these false delusions?” Sirius countered, straining his voice into a falsetto.

The seconds ticked by as Regulus stared at him, the unnatural stillness before a storm.

“You plaster your walls with pictures of Potter’s son as though he is yours. When he is a filthy half....”

The brothers tangled together in a blur of limbs, slamming into the wall before sliding to the ground

OMG thank you darling- I had really bad block with D+D and it's actually helping to remind myself of how much I love the story.

Hahah the Black brothers are such a goldmine of dysfunction. They clearly love each other, but there's so much resentment and jealousy.

When writing this scene, I imagined that when they were growing up Sirius had an edge over Regulus, and as the fight is ramping up, Sirius thinks "But unlike their teenage fights, Sirius no longer had a height advantage." This also shows how much time has passed since they had any meaningful interactions. Regulus is now a man and not Sirius's baby brother.

And at this point in time, they are both spoiling for a fight as "neither seemed perturbed by quite how quickly their conflict escalated."

They both give as good as they get verbally, hitting each others weaknesses with a surgical level of precision. Regulus saying:

"Do not speak about my parents like that.”

And then Sirius calling him a "good little spare."

I wrote the scene with the intention that they are both carrying a great deal of hurt towards each other, but are expressing it in this really toxic 'boys don't cry,' type of way (which IMO is in line with how Sirius talks about his family in canon).

Regulus is incredibly jealous of James, and feels personally betrayed by Sirius leaving.

Sirius feels hurt at his family's rejection and that Regulus participated in it.

The fight remains verbal (albeit incredibly vicious) until Regulus crosses the line by mentioning Harry.

In some ways, Regulus isn't wrong. While Sirius does love Harry with all his heart, he has attached to him so intensely because of how much he wants family. However, Regulus is mainly very jealous (and will never admit it). If he were less emotionally constipated, he would say something like, "Would you love my son as much?". Instead, he throws a slur, and it works to push Sirius's buttons and results in them having a physical fight (where Sirius is surprised at how matched they are- even though he does end up 'winning').

[thevampireslovelywife]

James angst fic - a bit over 550 words

@regulus-cannot-swim @justaboymadeofhoneyandglass @garden-of-runar

@themortalityofundyingstars @starmanbutitsregulusblack

i thought maybe y'all wanna read it srry if u don't

Humans aren’t solitary creatures. James doesn’t know exactly where he first heard those words, but if there was ever a testament to what he felt, that would be his reason. James always felt so alone. He knew, he knew all the words that float around in his head when he’s alone aren’t the truth. But they feel like it. No matter how many friends he has, no matter how many times he hears “I love you”, it’s just never enough for him. And he hates that. He hates being so selfish, always wanting more than he already has. James knows he’s been privileged since day one, coming from a family like his. They were rich, they were happy, they loved each other. Not everyone got to have a perfect upbringing like his, so why– why did he keep thinking like this? He had no reason to. James should be grateful for everything he has, not being greedy and wanting more.

I just want to be loved.  It was all he ever wanted. But he was. He had his parents, his best mates, and all these other people who loved and adored him. James had spent his whole life making sure people loved him, so why did it always feel like they didn’t?

That they would leave at any given moment. That they would take one good look at him and see every single flaw he had and decide he was worthless to them. That he was unneeded. Unloveable. 

Just the thought was enough to make James spiral. Why the fuck did he bother? What was in it for him, waking up everyday, trying his best to make everyone around him happy? When he sat there miserable every day, pretending he wasn’t with a smile on his face.  He always feels guilty thinking like that. Because James knew why. It was because he enjoyed seeing the people he loved happy. He loved making sure they knew they were loved, that they were cared for. That they knew they had someone who would go to hell and back for them. But deep down, he just wanted someone who would do the same for him. 

But it could never be that simple could it? No matter how much James wants people to do the same for him as he does for them, he refuses to tell people how he really feels. Why? It’s simple.

Because James doesn’t deserve it. He’s done so much wrong, been so selfish, what right did he have to feel like this? Regulus and Sirius had every right to feel like they do, to have their demons. Remus had the right, having gone through what he did as a child. Even Peter and Lily had their reasons. But James, James had no right. So many people had gone through so much worse, had valid reasons to feel like this. 

So these feelings would stay his dark secret, and so would everything else that went along with it. The sense of dread that sat in his stomach, the nerves that would never let up, him crying in the bathroom out of breath, him staring blankly at the ceiling at night, thousands of thoughts coursing through his head telling him every single thing he’s ever done wrong. 

He shouldn’t be feeling this empty– this desperate.

Everyone hated him.

Everyone was lying to him.

He was useless.

He was a bad friend.

He shouldn’t have said that.

They definitely don’t like him.

Why does he even stick around?

What point is there to him being there?

I want to die.

James’ mind froze, terrified to realize he actually meant it. What use was there for him to live? When at any moment everyone he knows and loves could leave him? 

Maybe James Potter really was the sun. But the thing is– the sun is still a star. And all stars burn out eventually, don’t they?

[prongsiess]

TRIGGER WARNING: somewhat detailed descriptions of various forms of self-harm and referenced abuse

The Black and Rosier cousins’ loved ones are no strangers to their weird family dynamic and its consequences.

Rita and Evelyn sometimes see Bella kneeling face to a wall, muttering how she isn’t enough and needs to be better after receiving a bad grade on an assignment.

Ted and Amelia have both faced Andy’s wrath when something isn’t going her way, seeing her lose control and lash out only to cry herself to sleep later that night in regret.

Alice has had to wrestle Cissa out of the shower after she had scrubbed herself raw following a letter from her mother had sent critiquing her body and saying she was wasting herself not dating a man.

James has scooped Sirius off the floor and detangled and regrew his hair after an episode where he had chopped of his hair with his potion knives because he looked in the mirror that morning and saw his mother staring back at him.

Remus has healed Sirius’ hands, full of shards of glass, and repaired their whole dorm after Sirius had sent rogue spells flying when they received a letter from their parents.

Dorcas has made sure to escort Reg to meals and monitor his eating because he had fainted on the quidditch pitch at practice again.

James has sat Regulus down in the prefect’s bath and washed his hair for him when he hadn’t slept in days leading up to exams.

Barty has wiped away Ev’s tears and made sure all the bed curtains were opened and that there was a candle burning near Ev’s bed when he was extra jumpy coming back from breaks.

Lily has floated Pandora down from the astronomy tower roof where she was looking at the stars after climbing there to escape the great hall where there had been a fight at meal time.

All of their friends and partners had witnessed and experienced the negative repercussions of growing up in that environment, but had all also seen how, despite all the trauma, they had such kind souls.

How Bella would braid the first years’ hair and tell them wonderful stories about queens and fairies and how strong those women had been just to see the little girls smile a little bit brighter.

How Andy’s hugs felt like they could heal anything, as if her arms around you meant you were safe, and when she let go and gave you a kiss on the forehead you knew, no matter what had happened or was going to happen, that you would be okay.

How Cissa would sneak into the kitchens and bake with the house elves and bring back her friends’ favourite snacks, often somehow managing to get ahold of an old family recipe that just tasted like childhood.

How Sirius laughed so loud and their eyes twinkled in the sun, how he walked the halls with an arm around one friend and a hand in another’s, pulling them in as close as he could.

How Reg would leave little notes to those he cared about, sometimes to remind them of something he thought they might forget, other times simply because he had thought of them and wanted to let them know.

How Ev’s smile felt like a crackling fire, how he made a conscious effort every year to learn everyone’s name and stop and chat with people randomly in between lessons and in the common room.

How Dora would take an interest in her friend’s hobbies and learnt to crochet, paint, cook, fly, write, play guitar and so much more in order to make those she loved feel valued and important.

Their friends and partners grew to love every aspect of them, but sometimes they would forget that things aren’t always black and white, and some things are just inexplicably bizarre.

Sitting around the Potter’s yard after Reg’s graduation celebration, all the Black-Rosier cousins and their loved ones gathered around a fire pit and reminisced about their childhood. Everything was going smoothly; Lily had shared how she loved going to the record store with her dad on Sundays to pick out a new vinyl, Mary had shared stories about camping trips with her parents and brothers near the coast, Rita had shared how she would spend hours journalling everyday and how she still has all of her old journals from her childhood, Ted recounted how he loved trips to Ireland to visit his grandparents and how his parents always used to put on Frank Sinatra on long car trips, Barty shared how him and his mother used to spend hours doing puzzles and listening to old muggle movies because that was the only time Barty would be quiet for more than 2 minutes at a time, Dorcas shared stories of visiting their mother’s family in Jamaica and how delicious the food was, Alice told stories about James, Marlene, and Peter’s escapades in this very garden and how after an unfortunate incident with water guns that were somehow filled with Monty’s experimental potions she had refused to babysit ever again, James shared how they actually managed to get a hold of those potions, Peter shared stories of young James jumping onto his back as Marlene chased him with a chicken in her hands as Marlene rolled in the grass adding odd tidbits and remarking just how much of troublesome children they were, Remus explained that he wasn’t surrounded by chaos like James, Marls, and Pete were, but he did run away from his parents in London once to go read in a big fancy library.

Everything was going smoothly, that is until the discussion got to Pandora who looked over at Evan and asked him if he remembered the time she pushed him off the swings and he had landed chin-first onto a stray garden rake, to which Evan laughed and added how, with a bleeding chin, he had decided to take his revenge on Dora and thrown rocks at her head. Cissa laughed and said it reminded her of the time she had stolen Bella’s makeup and had run away and climbed a tree to escape Bella’s wrath only for Bella to cut down the tree with Cissa still in it. To that, Andy added that when she used to babysit Reg and Sirius, they used to throw each other over the third floor railing and fall onto a couch on the first floor, climbing back up and doing that for hours. Laughing so hard he had to clutch his stomach, Sirius said that at least then they had been getting along and asked Reg if he remembered the time they snuck out of their summer home in France his last summer before Hogwarts and tried to hot-wire and steal a muggle car, only for Sirius to somewhat succeed, press the gas and roll straight over Reg’s feet then stall the vehicle on his toes. At that Reg grumbled an acknowledgment and was about to sulk when he was cut off by Bella’s roaring laughter saying that she had once gotten run over by Andy who was trying to drive their parents’ boat and nearly drowned because of it around the same time.

As the Black-Rosier cousins reminisced about their strangely endearing childhood stories, their loved ones exchanged befuddled, slack-jawed looks that fell somewhere between disbelief and fear. And it was at that very moment that they simply accepted the fact that their friends and partners had somehow even worse, more confusing childhoods than they had previously thought, but that it wasn’t any use commenting on it when they were rolling on the ground laughing at how they had nearly all mutually murdered each other before even attending Hogwarts.

(Context: I hc Pandora as Evan’s cousin, and since Druella is canonically a Rosier by blood, this makes the Black sisters big cousins to both Sirius and Regulus as well as Evan and Pandora. And with the intertwined nature of the sacred 28, I hc that they all grew up quite close to one another, whether blood-related or not)

[konstantynowitz]

Triplecanons for Riddle era:

Alphard Black

Alphard was born the eldest son of Pollux and Irma Black, and therefore was the heir apparent to the House of Black.

In his youth he was much like Regulus Black and personality… an obedient son, a soft-spoken, brilliant young man, who shared in his family’s purist ideologies and didn’t question their authority.

Al was everything his parents could’ve wanted for an heir. He was perfect, in every way, the golden child that everyone envied.

Walburga and Alphard were like the 1940s version of Sirius and Regulus.

Walburga was the wild child of the family, causing trouble or drawing too much attention to herself. She had a fiery temperament and a rebellious nature that drove Pollux and Irma up a wall.

And then there was Alphard who was a saint in the eyes of his parents, the son that never did anything wrong. He was the child Pollux and Irma never had to worry about, the only one who could act as a balm to the splitting headaches their daughter caused them.

But like Regulus, Alphard had a part of himself that he had never let surface, a secret that he kept to himself for many years…

He didn’t want to hate muggles.

There may have been a time where Alphard thought muggles threatened the magic integrity and blood purity of the wizarding world, but that was just because that’s what his parents told him to believe. He was taught that the muggles were dirty and that their filth would taint the very essence of the magical world.

But as he got older Al started questioning these beliefs and the fear and hatred his parents had instilled in him, especially once he got to Hogwarts.

There weren’t many muggleborns that attended Hogwarts back in the 1940s, but there was enough to see that they weren’t dangerous in the way that his parents said. In fact, Alphard was fascinated by them, he didn’t look at muggleborns the same way the other pure-blood students did.

He was intrigued by them and his later friendship with Tom Riddle only fanned the flames to his curiosity.

While Alphard taught Tom more about the magical world, Tom begrudgingly told him more about the muggle world.

Riddle wanted to leave his muggle background in the past and strive to be something greater than what he was born, but Alphard admired him for his roots.

Walburga hated how her brother was associating himself with Riddle.

She didn’t need some meddlesome muggleborn getting involved with her family, especially the heir of her family’s bloodline.

Alphard had a reputation he needed to uphold and he wasn’t doing himself any favors by mingling with the likes of Tom Riddle.

He is two years younger than Walburga, and two years older than his little brother Cygnus.

Wally and Al were closest growing up, but that probably changed as they got older and Alphard started straying away from their family’s values.

Even in adulthood there was a lot of tension in their relationship between the three siblings.

The only reason why their relationship still remained intact was because Alphard never did anything bad enough to be disowned from the family up until Sirius ran away.

The motorbike that was passed onto Hagrid by Sirius Black was originally owned by Alphard.

He gave the bike to Sirius shortly after he left home.

Alphard was a metamorphagus, but he wasn’t allowed to embrace this side of himself during his youth as it wasn’t very socially accepted back in the day.

It wasn’t until he was much older that he started to allow his abilities to surface.

Alphard served during WW2 as a soldier in wizarding aid to the muggles.

(From what I’ve read, at least in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, the muggle Prime Minister was in kahoots with Fudge so I’d assume it would’ve been the same during the 1940s — Churchill probably requested help from the magical world.)

Sergei Dolohov

Dolohov was a transfer student from Koldovstoretz and enrolled at Hogwarts during his fifth year.

He was expelled from his previous school for endangering a fellow student during the process of perfecting his purple flame incantation.

Riddle heard about Dolohov’s reputation and invited him to join the Knights of Walpurgis, to which he agreed.

Creating your own personal, complex spells was something that only few of Riddle’s Knights could do and so he thought Dolohov would be an asset to him due to his skill in this department.

His name means ‘servant’ which alludes to his position as a Knight of Walpurgis and early Death Eater in service to the Dark Lord.

He was a foreign mystery with a charming Russian accent that fell into the ears of all the female students like an unfamiliar melody that instantly attracted allured them.

Dolohov became popular amongst his peers while at Hogwarts and made connections with a lot of heirs to prominent pure-blood families which proved beneficial to Tom.

Sergei would play Quidditch on an uprooted tree branch, instead of using a broomstick.

This was something they’d do at Koldovstoretz.

The boys would definitely tease Dolohov about this and dare him to uproot the Womping Willow and use it for the next match.

He was handsome, with dark hair as black as charcoal, and piercing blue eyes that were almost as sharp as his jawline. Dolohov’s complexion was fair, but oftentimes his cheeks bore a reddish hue from his overindulgence in drink.

Dolohov was a ladykiller, not a man someone’s mama would want as a potential suitor for their daughter.

Which is probably why a lot of girls at Hogwarts went crazy for him.

He was definitely what someone would deem as being “bad boy” material.

There is no doubt that he’s done things with the ladies at Hogwarts that would’ve tainted their reputation if the Dailey Prophet had ever caught wind of what they’d been up to with a certain Russian transfer student.

Broom closets, empty corridors and classrooms, dormitories, behind a bush in the courtyard, carriages…

They’ve probably even gotten freaky with him down in the dungeons… Sergei’s definitely got a kink for handcuffs and chains.

Let’s just say he’s got quite the reputation in regard to a variety of things, not just spells.

Étienne Rosier

Étienne Rosier was born in France and is the elder brother of Druella Rosier.

Vinda Rosier was the elder sister of Étienne’s father.

Both Vinda and her brother were acolytes of Gellert Grindelwald.

He grew up surrounded by Grindelwald’s followers during house parties or meetings amongst Grindelwald’s followers.

The Rosier family oftentimes hosted these gatherings as they were Grindelwald’s most loyal acolytes.

Similar to how the Lestrange family were Voldemort’s most loyal Death Eaters.

Étienne’s father was arrested after the French Ministry of Magic discovered his connections to Grindelwald.

He was supposed to enroll at Beauxbatons but after his father was released from the Ministry’s custody he and his family moved to England.

Étienne Rosier was in Tom Riddle’s year at Hogwarts.

Although at first Étienne kept his distance, thinking that Tom was just a muggleborn.

In fact I don’t think he paid much attention to Tom in their early years at Hogwarts.

Riddle was irrelevant to Rosier, or at least back then he was.

Étienne was close friends with Radolphus Lestrange.

Instead of inheriting the Rosier family’s blond hair and blue eyes, Étienne had gotten the Rosier recessive traits such as black hair and green eyes.

Much like his aunt Vinda.

Étienne was one of the first boys Tom Riddle recruited in their fifth year at Hogwarts to be one of his Knights of Walpurgis.

By the time Étienne turned ten years old, before he and his family left for England his mother allowed him to attend the dinner meetings for Grindelwald’s followers.

His mother didn’t approve of her son’s involvement with Grindelwald’s cause.

Especially once her husband was arrested.

Eglantine Rosier didn’t want Étienne knowing too much in fear that the French Ministry take advantage of his youth and naivety as a way to pry information from him if they ever raided one of the meetings.

Sometimes they would be disguised as masquerade balls in order to conceal the identities of the acolytes, or just simple dinner parties at Rosier manor, to veil the true purposes of these gatherings.

Druella wasn’t allowed to go because she was too young so there would be times when she’d ask her brother about what happened.

He would never tell though, which you could imagine annoyed the hell out of Ella.

Étienne wasn’t always allowed to go to these parties. Like his sister, he would be sent to bed early by their mother whenever these gatherings occurred.

But of course he and his sister never listened.

They would stay up late and sneak out of their rooms the moment the visitors started to arrive.

Étienne and Druella would sit by the staircase and attempt to eavesdrop of conversations being held by their parents Grindelwald’s followers.

But now that he was old enough to attend them, he thought he was much more mature than Druella.

Superior, even.

His peers at Hogwarts would make fun of his French accent.

But most of them were just harmless jabs from Lestrange.

Other than that Étienne was well-respected… and feared.

Étienne and Druella would often speak French with one another as a way to bond.

They both missed their birth country.

But they knew that they wouldn’t be able to go back for some time.

At least not until Grindelwald was defeated once and for all.

Almost everyone at school knew about the Rosiers association with Grindelwald.

He could hear their whispers in the halls whenever he passed, or their eyes boring into him from where he sat at his desk.

Étienne didn’t mind this. After a while, he had mostly grown used to it.

But by his third year a new pair of eyes began to drill into the back of his head, causing an unfamiliar sensation of trepidation and unease inside of him.

When Rosier would turn his gaze to see who was looking at him, he was surprised to see a young Tom Riddle sitting behind him.

Watching, studying, inspecting…

Étienne resisted the urge to scrunch his nose in disgust at the right of Riddle daring to even look in his direction.

But then he noticed something different about Tom’s gaze that sent a shiver down his spine.

Riddle’s eyes stared at him intensely as if he were already planning on how Rosier would serve him.

[jmagnabo92]

Prongsfoot Microfics - 24 Calm

@prongsfoot-microfic

“You have to be fucking kidding me, Si,” James yells, angrily.  He’d only been back alive and reunited with Sirius for probably an hour, but he’d spent most of that hour about to lose his mind.

He had demanded to know why Harry was only just brought over from the Dursleys (as James refused to enter the house without him) and why Sirius hadn’t been the one to raise him.  The explanation of what happened (and Sirius’ fugitive status) had been outlined vaguely enough that James got the gist, and he was angry.  Well, angry was a misnomer.  Pissed off was a better and more accurate description.

“How could Dumbledore do this to you – both of you, either of you – who gave him the right?” James demands.  

“Dumbledore only did what was right – if you should blame anyone, you should blame Sirius,” the redheaded woman that James couldn’t be bothered to remember her name says.  “And you need to calm down, you’re scaring the children.”

“Stay out of this lady – if you honestly think what Dumbledore’s done to my son and husband is okay or acceptable in any way, you’re part of the problem,” James retorts, not taking his eyes off Sirius and Harry.

Sirius flinches and Harry looks confused.

“Husband?” Harry questions.  “You – what?”

It’s that innocent and confused question that actually calms him.  Harry deserved better than this from his father’s first return.  

James takes a deep breath.  “I guess you didn’t tell him.”

“There was never a right time – you can’t say something like that in a letter and I wanted it to be a conversation we had when it was just the two of us,” Sirius says, looking around pointedly.  Unfortunately, they both know the group around them has no intention of leaving.  Sirius looks at Harry, “James and Lily never married.  James and I married.  Lily was our surrogate.  We had a small wedding and there were very few people in attendance.  When Lily got pregnant for us, everyone assumed that she was a Potter, and we didn’t correct them.  I was already a big target because of most of my family.  And I didn’t want to risk that endangering James, Lily or you, when you came along.  So, we pretended that it was James and Lily that married rather me and James.”

Harry seems to search his eyes for a second, as if trying to determine if he’s telling the truth before looking at James.  “I guess that explains some things.”

“I know it was a bad decision, now, to have you during the war, but we just wanted to some happiness hold onto and you – you were the best thing about the war.”  James gives him a small smile.  “I am sorry that you didn’t get to find out under better circumstances.”

“Story of my life,” Harry jokes.  “Still, that does explain why I had no problem seeing Sirius – er – dad – Pads – as a father figure.”

Sirius grins, “I liked knowing that that bond was still there.”

“And now, we’ve got a lot of catching up to do, but first, I’m getting my husband freed.”

Sirius laughs, “Good Luck with that.”

[mayabooowrites]

Where did the time go?||D.M

Summary: you and Draco help your daughter get ready on her wedding day

I smile as I look at my beautiful baby girl as y/n was helping our daughter with her hair

I look at the baby album of her that was sitting on her bookshelf I grab it and open it and see the first picture which is me holding my beautiful daughter when she was just born

She was so small, so fragile she came into the world quiet, gave y/n and I a heart attack until her little cries came and we both gave a sigh of relief, happy she was okay

Scorpius was pouting y/ns whole pregnancy but he was also 1 he didn't understand it, but when we brought her home he acted like he didn't care but he smiled so brightly when he held his sister

I look up at my two girls as they were chatting and Astra was smiling so brightly as y/n put the veil on her

I swear she grew up too fast so did scorpius they both did, now scorpius is married and soon going to have a kid, and now my little girl is getting married

You can say I'm not pleased still with the guy she choose, but she's happy that's all that matters. They met in Hogwarts he was 3 years older then her, but they instantly fell for each other when they met in her third year

But I mean of course I didn't like it that he's Harry potters son now potter is in my family! James Sirius Potter treats her well tho and makes her smile

So I've accepted it, even if I never have showed how much I didn't like their relationship, I never said anything. And y/n was proud of me for holding my tongue so well when I'd see Astra give him a kiss when he came to the house to see her

Y/n would just remind me how my mother didn't like her but she showed it, and tried to break me up with her so many times, didn't work. And well y/n would just tell me don't be your mother and I would hold my tongue so hard I once bit it to not say anything

And that it's stupid I only don't like him cuz Harry is his father, which I agree stupid, but I'm over it anyways,unlike my parents who don't approve of the wedding because James is a half blood. Which I don't care if he's a muggle if he makes my Astra happy I'll accept him.......eventually

But me? it's just pettiness towards his father, that I didn't have the most liking towards him, but he won me over he definitely wanted me to like him fully before he ever married Astra which I respected. But I mean Harry was the same so I don't feel bad we just didn't really show it because we loved our kids more

"Now Draco are you going to just sit there and look through that old picture album or are you going to come and help your daughter." Y/n says and I get up and walk over kissing her as I stare at my little girl, all grown up in her white wedding dress and veil. She looked like a princess well more so as she's always been one her whole life.

She's not that little baby anymore that grabbed my finger in the hospital room, she's also not that scared little 11 year old holding her school stuff as we dropped her off at the train

Begging me to not let go of her hand and stay right beside her until she leaves

No she's not she's a beautiful mature grown woman who's about to get married to the man she loves

"When you get back from your honeymoon darling me and your dad hope you'll both still come to dinner." Y/n says and we were planning on telling them there that we are giving them one of our smaller houses which are still pretty big

"Of course we'd love to." Astra says smiling excited now after her honeymoon to come for dinner now

We wanted to give them it as a wedding gift when they get back from their honeymoon

As well Scorpius has the manor we decided to gift Astra the house she always told scorpius she will convince me to put her in the will for

Scorpius always did say hey you can have it I don't need all 5 houses so he won't care

"Dad I know you never liked James but I'm glad you've accepted him it means a lot to me." Astra says and I kiss her forehead then poke her nose like I did when she was 4

She scrunches up her nose the same way she did when she was little that made me smile

"Your happiness is all I care about Astra, now please tell him I need at least 3 years before you get pregnant, I mean I don't really care but we all know scorpius will pout." I say and Astra chuckles

"Don't worry dad James is too busy with his job kids is too difficult for us I mean we live in an one bedroom apartment." She says and I nod well they better still keep this plan when we give them the house

I hand Astra a photo of her I was keeping for today, she was 6 and put on her mothers wedding dress and veil she looked like a little princess wig the big smile on her face

"You've grown up so much from this little girl, but I love you just as much." I say kissing her forehead again and she smiles and grabs my finger and boops her own nose and I smile as I boop her nose surprising her and she scrunches up her nose this time making me chuckle, I love my daughter so much

"You truly were the most beautiful baby and you are still." Y/n says and I smile at her we raised our daughter together to right here where she is going to get married and start her own married life soon and I'm so proud of the woman we raised

"We have a wedding that's waiting for the bride tho don't we? And a probably very excited James to turn you into a potter." I say noticing the time and astra nods as she chuckles and hugs me and y/n and I hold her tightly as I was just so happy shes found someone she wants to spend the rest of her life with

"Your right dad let's go." Astra says as y/n fixes her dress when she stood up off the chair

'Time flew by so quickly and I sometimes wonder where all our time went? It felt like her childhood went by so quickly now she's a grown woman getting married, and I'm so proud of the woman she's become.'

[lesbianforregulusblack]

Okay, so this is me relating each and every reputation song to the marauders because it's my fav album for a reason

...Ready For It? - okay so canonically (meaning the space the canon gives us) this has jegulus written all over it (just know, I'm going to say that about almost every song), but I can't help but think about crimson rivers dorlene, like "knew he was a killer first time that I saw him" it's obviously from Dorcas' perspective, because "in the middle of the night, in my dreams" we know she's simping for Marlene from the very beginning, so that's her imagining being with her, "Knew I was a robber first time that he saw me" is her talking about her own background with the phoenix and later on she's saying that no one (not even Lily) compares to Marlene, "Are you ready for it?" I feel like the question is directed at herself because, no she's not ready, she doesn’t want Marlene to know about the phoenix so yeah

End Game - Starchaser!!! "You and me would be a big conversation" damn sure they would, because they are a Potter and a Black (both having a big reputation), "and I heard about you, oh, you like the Bad ones, too" is basically Reg noting that James likes Sirius (a Black, a 'bad' one if you will) so maybe he's going to like reg, too?

I Did Something Bad - okay so this can either be about Sirius or Regulus...in Sirius' case it's obviously directed at his family/parents and how he eventually leaves them (which is bad in their eyes but feels good to him), in Reg's case it's also directed at his family, but at Dumbledore as well.

Don't Blame Me - obviously a jegulus song, very much reminding me of their dynamic in Choices. I have this headcanon that Reg went Horcrux hunting for James, feeling crazy for betraying his family like that but "love made him crazy"

Delicate - again, very much jegulus. "My reputation's never been worse" I imagine Reg thinking that right after Sirius left. James still loved him even though Sirius surely didn't like him very much at that time. In the Refrain Reg (or James, honestly, it's fitting for both of them) overthinks the time he's spending with James, afraid that he'll scare him away

LWYMMD - again, this works for several people but I'm going to go with Regulus..imagine him faking his death in the cave after Dumbledore made it clear that he would never trust Regulus in any way, basically painting him as the bad guy since he is and always will be a Black and Regulus is hunting down all of the horcruxes in secret, totally slaying while doing so. It also works for Sirius, who is talking about his family and how he hunts them down as an order member (I also see Pandora or Dorcas in this song after Reg/Marlene die but I'm trying to keep this as short as possible)

So It Goes... - to me this is screaming MacEvans just because this song is about two people who make each other a better person and know that they like each other. Idk I just feel like this song describes them perfectly (from Lily's perspective)

Gorgeous - okay so this Sirius to Remus or Regulus to James because I think it just sums up how the black brothers act around their crush perfectly

Getaway Car - James, Lily & Regulus, though I'm not sure how I like it better; Regulus being the Getaway Car or Lily. In the end neither of the relationships work out just like they fail in canon (by being murdered lol). It also reminds me a little of Remus, Sirius & Grant, or maybe (and I might actually like this one the best) Regulus leaving Barty for James

King Of My Heart -this is Regulus to James. "Late at night, the city's asleep" pretty much them in choices, only ever neeting when everyone else is in bed. "Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep" from his family because they ruin everything.

DWOHT - Again, Starchaser all the way. "I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would devide us." Literally James & Reg since they knew they were on different teams in the war. Generally, I think this is Reg's perspective just because then he's the one who keeps having a bad feeling and whose "love had been frozen" before they got together.

Dress - MacEvans, MacEvans, MACEVANS! It's literally them when they realize they have a crush on the other. They're flirting without anyone else noticing, everything hidden away because it's still so new to them. "I don't want you like a best friend" HELLO??? That's them. Period.

TIWWCHNT - this is Sirius "the Drama queen" Black. I have no idea who he's saying this to but it's him. For sure. (Although it also works for (fanon) Barty)

CIWYW - this is wolfstar from Sirius' perspective. Sirius who made out with quite a lot of girls before realizing he has a massive crush on one of his best friends and now (some) people are talking shit about them but Sirius doesn't care he has Remus and that's great. Also, this song is about independence in the relationship which just makes sense for Sirius, considering he grew up in a controlling house and probably wants to feel free after escaping Grimmauld Place

New Year's Day -again, wolfstar. They just...idk it just fits. They're together while the World around them is messy and at times that mess finds a way into their relationship but they try to work through it

[danpuff-ao3]

HIII!! ♒ for Lily

Carla!! Thanks for the ask! Lily is a fun one! Let's see...

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

I love that this one uses the Aquarius glyph, for Lily the Aquarius, and my very Aquarian vision for her!

So, I see her being quite anti-cooking at first. No patience for her; doesn't like the expectation of "girl must cook!" A very "I'm not like other girls!" vibe when quite young. But as parents do, her parents taught her and had her cook from time to time.

And over time...Lily had to reluctantly admit that she liked it. She especially liked trying strange, new things. Eventually her mother had to ask Lily to run dinner plans by her first and get her approval. And if Lily showed up asking anyone to try what she just threw together...Her parents would have a taste to be supportive. Petunia would straight refuse. She didn't even want to know what it was, to be honest. If Lily tried to explain, Petunia would be like "please no, I'm going to be sick." Even though, statistics being what they are, Lily did come up with something quite tasty now and then! And her earlier experimentations helped her understand flavor combinations better, and how to best prepare things.

Her turn to "Mad Food Scientist" started shortly before meeting Severus, and once she learned she was a witch, she began to view cooking as potion-making (which she would later excel at.)

Bonus: this is hilarious because while the cooking-potions connection is fair, I always headcanon Harry (poor in potions) being a good cook, and Severus (a literal potions master) being a rather poor cook.

Once at Hogwarts, Lily had less time for cooking than she used to, and she did miss it. Food became more of a link to home and family in her heart; sharing meals with her house-mates, and being homesick for home dinners. Dinners in Cokeworth were never quite the same, since Petunia soundly hated her by then, but Lily liked them all the same, and always put extra care on her nights to cook, slipping bits of love into her meals, and maintaining hope that she and her sister could be close again. And hoping to leave behind fond memories for her parents. She always was pleased when her meals were praised, and secretly hoped her parents would miss her cooking while she was away.

Lily being the strange girl that she is always enjoyed trying new flavors and eating exotic foods, but had become much less obnoxious about her need to be seen as special by Hogwarts (likely firmly snuffed out upon meeting James Potter), so it was quite the surprise for James when, on their first date, Lily took James' lighthearted dare to eat [insert really wacky, wild, outrageous food] and succeeded with aplomb. In fact, James fell even more in love for the very ladylike manner in which she ate [really quite bizarre and maybe even frightening wizarding snack/meal.]

When they married, Lily was happy to cook for her husband, though she also demanded he let her teach him how to cook, as well. James never quite got the hang of it before he died, but he tried his best and it melted her heart when he would surprise her with breakfast in bed on their anniversary, or a homecooked meal on Valentine's Day, and for the lopsided cake he made for Harry's first birthday (and it made a fine smash cake, really, though she wasn't about to let Harry actually eat any of it!)

Food was love, after all. Made by one's hand, for another's belly. The desire to give them nourishment (life), and pleasure (taste, texture, sight.) Memories made by cooking with others, or bonding over eating a meal. Providing for one's friends and family.

(And...yeah. Occasionally sneaking in weird flavor combinations. Especially when Sirius and James were being very annoying.)

Bonus: as mentioned above, I also see Harry being quite good at cooking, too; though by necessity with his upbringing. Pushed into the kitchen way too young and made to cook food he would never get enough of himself. And while, for a time, bad memories put him off cooking, he would eventually grow up to find passion for it. He would, one day, see it the same as his mother once did. An act of love; a way of sharing and giving to others; an outlet for relieving stress, or an opportunity to get creative. He generally focused on more traditional fare, with the occasional dip into the wild side when he was feeling particularly saucy. (Yes, the pun was intended.) For him it was also a way to take back his power, and refuse to give the Dursleys the recognition of driving him away from such a useful skill, and a means of providing for those he loved and who loved him.

And from the afterlife, Lily would watch her son, misty-eyed and touched and proud to feel that connection to him. One he would not know of for a while yet.

Headcanon meme