#since when is that a problem i dont know | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

july-19th-club · 2 years ago

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seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out #i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity #but me i like to chill out.#and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed #at the thought that others might want to see me working #if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do #catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries #for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day?#or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk #not in the slightest #but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior #that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation #this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age #and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative

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misfortunegirl · 1 year ago

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its weird when people get mad at you for taking their words...literally and as they are

#since when is that a problem i dont know #and by people i mean one person kn particular #and im not talking about metaphors but like. for example you tell me you hate ice cream. i tell you dont you hate ice cream though? and you #get mad at me and tell me stop taking everything i say literally thats NOT what i meant #help its so confusing ans has never been a problem for anyone up until now??#anyone whos ever talked with me that is #youd think if that were the case people would have pointed ut out to me by now #placeholder tag #also this person constantly tells me i dont get jokes. no i get them. when they're funny.#oh and that i dont get sarcasm. yeah when you dont make any effort to make it obvious its sarcasm how will i #why is it so bad to take what people tell me at face value. does that make me gullible.

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puppppppppy · 10 months ago

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i like him

#somebody needs to keep me 8 metres away at all times or else ill start chewing on him #i just want everyone to know if i end up making a character who happens to resemble harvey in any shape or form #it probably wasnt a coincidence 😐and it will happen again #if i remember maybe ill try getting stardew when it goes on sale.. my friend showed me her farm and she named her chicken after doja cat #or maybe it was nikki minaj i cant remember. and she also said smth about monsters and passing out if you stay out after a certain hour #idk how accurate tht is all i know is the funny fucked up grandpas bed #i read somewhere that harveys supposed to be in his early to mid thirties and i dont have a problem with it but i think itd be very funny #if hes actually younger than he looks hes just a med school postgrad lmao. idk how well that headcanon would hold up since ive #never played the game and idk how often ppl talk about his age or if itsjust an implied thing. i just think its really really funny #im trying to get into the habit of drawing poses so im using reference images to try and build up muscle memory #i found some cute pictures of two ppl playing by the sea shore and it reminded me of xin and sailor so im gonna draw em like that #i havent drawn em in so long..... maybe i should update xins reference since i changed their lore quite a bit #myart #my art #doodles #stardew valley #stardew #sdv #sdv harvey #kinda wanna see him whimper a little bit. as a treat

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the-patrex · 7 months ago

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I have seen a LOT of discourse about the finale so here is my final opinion on it: I Liked it I thought it was Very Bad

#shut up patrex #it made no sense at times the resolution was bad #but also: i dont care it was bad I had fun i like that Ruby is not an Important FigureTM it worked for me a lot #the real mom thing was trash but since rtd apparently already said Ruby was Wrong when she said that sure im willing #to give that plot its time #the ms floods thing lmao I love we still dont know actually! Keep us bitches guessing #I had FUN!!!!!!#Memory TARDIS is a Banger Mel was awesome 15 MY BABY 1555555 my princess with a disorder!!!#the only real COMPLAINS I have now and they are actually a rtd2 problem #is the militarization without any push back or criticism of UNIT and russy for the love of god let new people write episodes #<- this coming from someone that really likes rtd and moffat #Must Doctor Who be Good? Isnt it enough that Im having fun?

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ask-seer · 1 year ago

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#identity v #identityv #eli clark #eliclark #identity v seer #identity v luchino #luchino diruse #/ive had this on wip for a very long while and i dont remember the match it was based on #/i know i aint drawing michii since EFFORT #//Seer main problems when u dont know wem to send birb coz they still got their skills AND THEY DIE AND NOW THEY GOT SKILLS AND U GOT A BIRD

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pleasedontcareaboutme · 3 months ago

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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him #I always knew he was a parental figure for me #but now I connected the dots #How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life #that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so #and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life #ofc ud become attached #i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him #he occupies most of my thoughts honestly #But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life #i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an #bloom and be free #and that's what ill try to do #but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness #its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired #somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea #how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi #g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if #lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways #sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay #yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le #go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk #how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate #my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t #me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol #so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest #y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t #ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti #ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd

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nabaath-areng · 4 months ago

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Sometimes I think to myself "actually maybe I'm exaggerating the terror I felt from being stalked", but then I remember that the person in question followed me and waited for me outside my school every day, tracked me down on every website I'd spent even the slightest time on, left physical letters in my mailbox, sent creepy as hell novel length messages on a near daily basis on FB. And then when I was living abroad and I answered the phone I told the caller to text me cause I couldn't hear, after which I had to read "I was saying that you would probably be VERY scared if you knew who's calling... hehe" with my own damn fucking eyes...

And then I'm like yknow what nevermind!!!! the fact that I'm still terrified of being perceived and seen in public not just IRL but also FFXIV might be understandable actually!!!

#im not saying its what caused my psychotic breakdown cause there were many factors #but needless to say it played a HUGE part especially surrounding the debilitating paranoia i was left with for years #i should mention that i only learned LAST YEAR that this person supposedly gave up according to them #by an old mutual classmate (the only one im still in contact with sadly because this person destroyed all the connections i held dear)#(we were classmates for years and this fucked me up cause we were friends for years before it all went down)#but yeah so last year they gave up apparently and it started 2012.#id managed to evade their notice online since 2019 when they last contacted me on facebook and i assumed id simply shook them off #given the habits i developed as a result of it that still affect me in ways i hate #but yeah its only been about a year of feeling relatively safe for the first time since 2012... and even then only relatively #cause i have no idea how permanent that is. and i dont dare to fully relax knowing what the person is capable of in terms of violence #hysterically tumblr is one of the very places online where they never found me it seems #but yeah. apparently they can just move on and here i am meanwhile still feeling the effects #such as feeling like im drenched in ice even in fucking *ffxiv* just because someones targeting or emoting at me #even though its never actually a problem! its a normal thing! and yet that brief moment of dread and fear seems to stick #IDK WHY IM RANTING ABOUT THIS I WAS JUST REMINDED AND. AURGH #awful. horrible. hopefully itll be fine forevermore and that ill be able to relax one day #silvi talks

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moeblob · 2 months ago

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I like the fact Tremaine's designated color is pink while Germaine's is maroon because if I draw them together it looks so bright and happy but they're in a dying world and both commit crimes many times a week just to survive. But hey, whatever.

If love is how they die, it beats starvation or injury! So letting them be codependent is like a treat almost.

#my characters #germaine and tremaine at least have each other (and kind of adopt motka as familial)#as mentioned prev with germaine who is the material wealth based layer guy #tremaine is the layer of lust and motka (who i keep mentioning) is the layer for gluttons #but while germaine is pretty much the embodiment OF being overly greedy and materialistic is incredibly rational #and while he hates it he knows when to cut a loss (item wise)#tremaine while the layer of lust and who does like the idea of having a fling has minimal desire for an actual romance #and based on the world they live in he knows its not really reasonable to expect a lot of intimacy and is mostly fine with it #but to cope with that lack of intimacy he is very touchy feely with the team including draping over his brothers back #or hugging motka whenever he wants despite germaine and motka being very much not fond of contact #to them its like ok fine tremaine is the exception but no one else can touch me #motka as the layer for gluttons is a bit different in that he is more uh.... the layer rather than the glutton #so he likes to cook and he likes to make others eat and he doesnt really eat much himself #hed rather make that someone elses joy especially since resources are hard to come by #so he acts like the group mom and germaine (as one of the oldest) is group dad and they're most of the reason why the group stays alive #also oddly enough to point out but germaine and tremaine are the only sibling layers while other layers DO have siblings #like the other oldest one has a younger sister and the team doctor guy has two younger siblings (twins)#and then the youngest member (limbo) has an older brother #so yeah i dont really know why the wellington brothers get to both be layers but theyre making it everyones problem #i really liked the cast for this plot but i dont really have much in terms of how i wanted the plot to go ?#so i dont draw them a whooooole lot but been thinking about these codependent brothers lately #and final note but motka used to have a younger sister but she died from illness which is why he is so lenient with tremaine #hes like i wish i still had a younger sibling so now you will be like my family if youd let me #and tremaine blissfully unaware for the longest time that THATS why motka is so lenient with the touching from him #its because hes more pleased by the Still Having a Sibling Aspect rather than pleased with tremaine

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wormchaser · 4 months ago

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you are complaining about complaining too much while complaining about the fact that maybe people dont like you because you complain too much while complaining about being alone. just stop complaining and do something about it. talk to people. reach out. dont just wait for someone to come to you first.

i have tried reaching out to different people in the past year or so but it never works. i understand its my own fault for letting relationships decay because of my own insecurities and issues but that doesn't mean i can just will myself to think or believe different things about myself. it's a self fulfilling prophecy ; i think people don't like me so i don't reach out so people don't like me etc . i am sure you do not want to hear me list all the things i want to say in response so i will put them in the tags.

#every time i try to reach out or talk to someone it goes nowhere. i dont have any social skills anymore and have no clue how to keep a #conversation going. half the time even when i do people stop replying to me. which is fine theydont owe me a reply but still feels likeshit #when i tried to make one new irl friend it just didn't work because they have better options for friends. we spoke occasionally but never #messaged online like ever and would only talk when we happened to be in the same place. i tried multiple times to organize a time to hangou #none of which came to pass. i dont understand why this one didn't work because i thought this person was interested in being my friend but #i guess i was wrong or thought they were more interested than they really were.#i have a problem with reaching out anyway which has been a problem i have had since i was like 11. reaching out to people first doesnt come #easily to me - in the beginning when i was a lot younger i didn't want to bother people with my presence & thought if i were to come to #someone first they would feel pressured into talking to me when they didn't want to. this is stupid of course. but has still not left me as #something i feel is very core to the way i act today. waiting for someone to come to me first feels like my only option because i do not #know how to reach out effectively (my evidence being i have failed every time i have tried) & i am convinced people dont like me in the #first place and do not want me to approach them.#i dont really even know who to reach out to in the first place. my world is extremely narrow. the number of people i know has shrunk #significantly and my standing in their eyes collectively has also shrunk significantly in the past few years. i feel like every person i #was once friends with wants nothing to do with me. i feel as if i have burned every bridge possible.#when it comes to the fact i complain all the time . which i know of course is annoying. its because i cant find any kind of joy in anything #i do or see or whatever. nothing makes me happy - i only see things to complain about. all stimulus seems grating and the world seems #specifically catered to make me miserable. all i can really do is complain. i treat this blog like a stream of consciousness and when most #of that consciousness is occupied with how much i hate being alive the blog will mostly be complaining. its a vicious cycle lol .#anyway . i guess the key theme is low self esteem begets low self esteem in many ways. mental illness begets mental illness.#i am not really saying this to anyone least of all to you anon. i just felt compelled to recount i guess for myself the reasons that came #to mind for why i am like this. i am talking to myself here

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llitchilitchi · 9 months ago

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I get hating certain political systems and trying to abolish totalitarian regimes but at the same time many of them are so interwoven with our history and society they have become tropes and when I consume media with a setting where the monarchy is absolute and revered then I am playing my part and sucking that princeling off

#litchi.txt #there are games that address this kinda stuff! and thats good! its good that there are games talking about how this is bad!#but at the same time when I go into a game knowing I will be the prince's sword and shield I dont expect the game to be anti-monarchy #despite having pretty strong opinions on many a thing I tend to put most of them away the moment I engage with media #imperialism bad. monarchy bad. doesnt mean I cant enjoy roleplaying in a game where I help these systems #because guess what its fictional and not everything needs to be a strong statement about politics #sometimes we just... wanna vibe with a setting #I am so very thoroughly exhausted from the politics in this country and where things are going I just kinda need that no brainer gameplay #even if it means working as the secret police for an emperor #even if it means replacing one dictator with another #because its still a game #a lot of people talk about imperialism-monarchy-colonialism with these things because they are a big issue even today #and they are important to talk about!! in real world!!#but I rarely see people be this upset about like religion etc which like. thats also a massive problem.#idk Im just tired of trying to look at fanart of all my fantasy medieval games and people being upset that the games #are not super anti-monarchy despite the marketing being literally 'you are the emperor's bestie. you help him out and go on a quest.'#'your quest is to manipulate local government to support the emperor and do his bidding'#like idk how That is supposed to be a game that addresses it properly #and maybe it does but ig since the MC doesnt look at the player and go REMEMBER KIDS! THIS IS EVIL AND BAD AND WHY MONARCHY SUCKS #it doesnt count??? I guess???

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doctorwhoisadhd · 15 days ago

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theres just so many interesting things you could do if you staged chimes of midnight tbh....

#two actors for edith (older and younger) and having the older sing behind other dialogue #separate actor for edward grove so when he possesses shaughnessy the two actors speak at the same time #to be honest you could have two actors for just about everyone except maybe the doctor #and probably not shaugnessy since he doesnt die. but whenever the others die have understudies either play the corpse or stand around in the #background outside the lights. so theyre just visible but clearly shelved #as the mystery gradually becomes clear slowly have the older edith shadowing the staff as they say things that were said to her #the screams when the older edith is explaining - just have younger edith and mary and mrs baddeley and whoever else offstage and scream with #with their mics off - then you get a surround sound effect too - esp if you have them offstage behind or to the side of the audience #YOU COULD HAVE A DOLLHOUSE IN THE PARLOR WHEN THE DOCTOR'S CALLED UPSTAIRS TOO #itd be even more effective if you showed it at the beginning #maybe as the audience is filtering in you just have the lights up on that set so they SEE it yk?#then once everyones seated have the lights go off suddenly (maybe even play the theme song)#idk how youd do the jam jar im not a theater person. maybe red fabric for the jam that can 'spill' all over charley in a concerning looking #way (that can look like how edith looks when she kills herself) but that doesnt necessitate a costume change or any sort of cleanup for the #stage itself. BUT. the problem is the jar. i wouldnt want to use breakaway glass bc 1) cleanup 2) id want to have something you could put #back together quickly that would be indicative of the time loop #but again im not a theater person so i dont know stuff maybe that would be easy and you COULD use breakaway glass. or whatever im NOT a #person who knows really much at all about theater #ari opinion hour

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imflyingfish · 1 year ago

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Me watching the industrial and commercial demand go up while there is low residential demand knowing that this will cause a labour shortage.

#cities skylines #like STOP!!!!!! YOU HAVE INDUSTRY PLEASE THE POPULATION IS SUFFERING #side note i cant figure out why none of my citizens are educated I HAVE SO MANY OF ALL OF THE SCHOOLS AND MY EDUCATION BUDGET IS MAXXED #i did just discover paths however and i am very very excited about that #today i set up paths and created transport links i have a bus station and a metro :]#problem is i had to remove the trainlines due to thrm being in the way but that means that now the indusyrial district covers the butt of #them #so now even when i unlock trains i dont know how im going to re establish them #side note surely thats going to cause some issues to the other parts of the england map #wait my map is the shape of england where are the trains coming from. this is an island #i am a bit miffed though as the map put me in like. sommerset county but im not allowed to access the sea since its not an unlockable tile #which means that i have NO WATER #ive had to buy all the way up to the river thames to get water and pump all that shit into the bristol channel!#anyway me getting rid of the trains #im just like richard beeching #sigh.#yeah america has their train issues but hey!!!!!! all our shit is privatised and its bad #anyway

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liquidstar · 10 months ago

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a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

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pensymbols · 1 year ago

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if u believe that jason grace is lame gtfo this is NOT safe space for you

#everytime someone claims hes a boring character and a blank canvas i losd up a gun and #like jason ISNT a boring character hes actually incredibly interesting #but rick riordian fucking hates his guts and refuses to give him anythin #like genuinely #like first of all jason getting his memory wiped but hes never able to regain them???#so despite people knowing WHO he was and him having the general feeling of knowing who he is he genuienly cannot remember shit #and those memory problems persist all the way up throughout toa #second of all his general past??#like the grace siblings had such good backstories in the sense they were intriguing and actually defined everything and every choice they #-make #like jason who was proclaimed as heras/junos since he was born stolen from thalia who was raising him and she cant wver find him again and #-so she assumes shes dead and being reluctant to take in annabeth whos supposed to be around her baby brothers age #that shits peak #and then theres jason who was raised by wolves and then eventually found his way to new rome where he was only ever seen as jupiters son or #junos champion and he was only ever going to be the praetor and no one there truly saw jason for who he is #like thats PEAK #AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE JASON VS PERCY THING BCS A) I THINK ITS DUMB AND B) ITS STUPID #also rick DOES hate jason grace bcz they killed his character long before toa when thwy tried to make jason more like zeus so the rivalry-#-could make more sense #pjo #percy jackson and the heroes of olympus #jason grace #percy jackon and the olympians #heros of olympus #trials of apollo

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cloudcountry · 7 months ago

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if i wasnt for my mutuals i think all of my events would have flopped

#auburn's rambles <3 #gahhh its so dumb but like #events are my way of trying to connect w the twst fandom #and i have been so desperate for any sense of community here lately #i feel like im just screaming into the void #and i dont know why it feels like nobody new bothers talking to me anymore #i think its because people are scared of me but i wish they werent #ive tried my best to seem approachable and i tell people over and over that they can talk to me #but nobody does #ever since 1.8k really #its just been my mutuals talking to me and nobody else #and i love my mutuals but i want to have what i had when i first got here #i dont know if this is a twst Fandom problem or if its just me but #its like theres nobody here anymore and its not the same #im so tired of people being intimidated by me #im literally just like you i am just like ALL of you #its exhausting honestly.

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willowparkfanclub · 9 months ago

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okay look. not to gatekeep but i think if you're a newer starkid and you can't tell me 1) who julia albain is 2) what little white lie is and 3) all the names in liam's got a phone call, i don't wanna hear your complaints about what starkid chooses to produce next

#what was denise donovan's first show? who originally did their music? who was in apocalyptour? QUICKLY #i wanna be clear i have no problem with new starkids who are respectful and excited about the company #my issue is the newer ones who hate on old shows/get upset about basically anything that isnt hatchetfield related/are weird to the crew #idk starkid isnt like a show fandom. its years of college friendship and a fandom built by fans. ive been here since i was 10 #ive seen quite a few newer fans get upset about cinderellas castle. one dummy on twt even argued with mariah about it #and idk it just comes off as very rude to hate on a company that GIVES US STUFF FOR FREE when you dont even know their history #newsflash!! adaptations and puppets are like. as starkid as it gets #starkid is not a product that we ask for. the gang thinks up something theyre passionate about and we enjoy #its fine to maybe not like a play concept or point out poor choices from 2009. but its NOT ok to attack the company and its crew as a whole #idk. its just very frustrating to me #just be respectful! please! the starkids r not big budget a list actors they are normal people who work for little pay for passion projects #i could probably articulate my thoughts better but whatever. just be respectful thats what this boils down to #starkid #me yapping

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