#since that’s interesting as hell too imo

[lavenderjewels]

(JJK 236 spoilers/leaks)

now that there’s been a main character sacrifice this means nobara can come back!

[lecliss]

I think a 10yo just got attached to me in genshin and if this keeps up its gonna make me not wanna play cuz I don't wanna come off as mean if I have to tell her to give me some space, but I wanna play in peace ya know?

[shanastoryteller]

this is NOT a request for u to hurry finishing up the new chapter for siat (bc people who do that are ungrateful brats) but a genuine question. Do you feel even less drawn to it right now (spn brain aside) because of what JKR has done to English politics and the lives of trans women? Because I think it would be completely understandable if you felt this was ur final straw to not finish it but I would also get the opposite of it being ‘now there’s even more reason to finish it’ I think both viewpoints are valid and have their reasonings and this is really truly not in any way meant to be a “why isn’t there a new chapter yet!!:(((“ ask I’m just curious what HP fanfic writers (especially someone as well known as you) make of this as I keep seeing posts going around of the “if u still read/write HP fanfic you’re a terf too” variety and I just…disagree with that but also see where they come from (aka helping the fandom stay relevant. But even if we all quit reading and writing fanfic, HP would still be popular and imo the dent fanfic makes isn’t that big in the fandom bc locals still love HP and most people who now read fanfic hate JKR and wouldn’t actually read her books/buy merch)

Regardless of what you decide, know your Audience is behind you,100%. Hell, you dragged most of us (me included) back into Supernatural. I’m excited for the new chapter of tgp!! 💖💖

Thank you for all your words, whatever fandom they may come in (I.e I found you years ago because of your teen wolf fic specifically embers embers but stayed through so many fandoms and even read some I know nothing about) you are a beacon of light in this world and I treasure each of your works truly and with all my heart

thank you, this is a really sweet and nice way of asking, i'm so glad you enjoy my writing <3

but honestly: nah lol

jkr is shit and so are all of her opinions. the influence she has on government sucks and i personally think it's best to avoid giving her money, but i'm not pocketwatching other people

siat, which is a very popular hp fic, is 8 years old and has 2.8 million hits

in 2023 alone, 9.6 million people visited universal studios hollywood, the home of the wizarding world of harry potter

people should engage with media in whatever manner they feel most comfortable and sparks the most joy. but the idea that fanfic is a significant contributor to the cultural zeitgeist is just stupid

siat's on the to do list, i've just been infected with spn brainworms and wbt is also on the list but i feel more compelled to work on that one than siat just because huge chunks of it are already written so it seems a little silly to drag my feet as much as i have, plus at the time it had been a year since i posted the first chapter and i was like. ok come on let's go this is getting ridiculous

it's a goal to get back into a regular update cadence with siat. i'm not tired of it, i don't hate it, i still have an outline and know we're i'm going

it's partially that we're in sort of a tricky part to write, since it's about when a bunch of threads are about to come together and i don't want to fuck it up, and also that demands for updates honest to god really do kill my motivation to work on it. it's not punishment, i'm not trying to be a bitch, but i love the story and want to love sharing it with you, but being treated like a dispenser of fic, or like i owe people something and i'm somehow being selfish or inconsiderate by having fun writing what i want to write, really honestly just kills that. i don't want to write with that in the back of my head

people ask me about siat updates a lot. i don't post anything close to all of them. and if it was just "love the story can't wait to see what happens next!" that wouldn't be a problem, that's nice, i like that people are engaged and interested in what's to come

but a litany of "when will this update?" "is this abandoned?" "what about siat :(" "i don't care about x, why aren't you working on siat?" "you haven't updated siat in a while..." "why haven't you updated siat?" just makes me feel kinda bitter. which isn't a place i want to write from

it will be updated. i probably won't write the next chapter straight through and will alternate with tgp or wbt or whatever, but it's honestly just a mix of brainworms and having a lot of fun with these blorbos and wanting to have be in the right mindset while i write

[nyssasorbit]

What's Up With Subaru: My Thoughts

I've been seeing a lot of theories as to what may be up with Subaru acting so suspiciously, and as usual, I want to throw in my two cents since I haven't seen anyone else make a post I 100% agree with yet.

So far I've seen people say either Subaru is anxiety-ridden and possibly suicidal or he's the traitor and he's faking it, hiding something much darker instead.

Personally, I think it's a little of both, especially since I know of a certain spoiler that confirms my suspicions about him. I'm not going to go into my theories about that particular detail too much though.

I think Subaru is very anxiety-ridden and struggles to be polite because he knows he's violent and prone to violence. As we learned in Episode 15, he got out of showbiz due to violence against his junior, which I also have seen people say he may have been framed for, but I think he did it himself. However, I do think he is ashamed about his own nature to some degree, and that may or may not have to do with his hidden [spoiler] behaviour.

My reasons for this are:

In the first Hotarubi story, Episode 5, we see Subaru react very quickly and without mercy to the ghost child doll that attacked Haku. While he did apologize for it, the look on his face seems to tell a different story. And, imo, this is a bit of an odd reaction for someone who consistently mentions how much he loves and defends anomalies.

(Sorry, my phone was lagging and I couldn't get a screenshot without the text box, lol)

2. During the same chapter, we get our first reveal that Alan killed Dante and we see Dante's scars. I feel like most of our commercial breaks from the main plot are somehow relevant to the current episode (correct me if I'm wrong), and this feels somewhat out of left-field if you think about it.

You could attribute it to just being a secret in an episode about secrets, and I think that is part of it, but I like to think it was placed in this chapter because it's an early and very subtle comparison of Alan and Subaru's violent tendencies.

3. The expression he had when being provoked by Leo in Episode 11. He seemed to be crushed by anxiety up until a certain point where Leo crossed the line, and Subaru's expression dropped like he was about to snap. This could have been just a verbal snap, but I could also very much see Subaru resorting to violence like he did with the anomaly from Episode 5. I mean, this looks like a man about to cut a bitch, right?

4. Subaru's acting scenes in Episode 15, plus the blatant reveal of his love for all things horror. I don't think Subaru chose something from the horror genre to quote for no reason. And clearly, he is very good at acting creepy as hell. (Forgot to screenshot his Hell Flower costume image, but you know the one. Also just...that card in general.)

I don't think this is just acting, I think Subaru is tapping into that "darkness" he has as well to pull this off. Horror is something he's interested in and something he feels at home with and can do very well at emulating (conjecture).

5. Subaru's stigma and the Tree of Severance. I've seen a lot of theories that Subaru is suicidal and plans to use these scissors for some purpose, but I don't think that's the case. While I agree this may be a hint at him severing himself from his past, I also thought at the time that maybe Subaru was using his stigma to indulge in the violent pasts that each pair of scissors holds. Since his love and interest for horror was drawn out, and he was able to "act himself" in Episode 15, I think he decided to stop dipping his toe in the pool and threw himself into the indulgence of the real life horror stories that he can easily find without having to touch or inconvenience anyone. Though, tbh, we also don't know how long he may have been doing this, or if it truly was the first time he decided to approach this tree.

(I forgot to add but, Subaru's interests could also be a coping mechanism for him to satisfy his own tendencies while keeping them in control.)

And, overall, while Subaru's politeness seems sort of excessive, I don't think it's all a lie or an act. Like I said, I think he's trying to hide the darker side he knows he has and is ashamed of, because he doesn't want to come out of a fugue state and find that he's hurt someone again, even though it seems as if he struggles with a sort of emotionlessness towards other people/things in general (given the lack of light in his eyes at all times).

I think you could also tack on:

6. His association with Lyca. Subaru is trying to teach Lyca how to act like a human. What a coincidence, eh? In a way, it seems like what Subaru tries to teach Lyca may be somewhat of how Subaru himself has learned to blend in with people despite his emotional/personality disorder. This is a personal theory, but I like to think that Subaru is lying about Lyca, that Lyca did hurt someone in his past, but Subaru sees himself in that and/or empathises with Lyca's situation, and is covering it up saying that Lyca did nothing wrong. I'm not sure if Darkwick knows he's lying, but I think they may be highly suspicious of it still, which is why Lyca specifically remained in that cell beneath Ultio for so long.

[rationalnerd62]

Seeing some of the tags I got on the CR timeline post, I think I loved C3 for the exact same reasons some folks disliked it or struggled with it.

I liked the overarching arc. Don't get me wrong, mini-arcs like with VM and M9 are perfectly fine, but there's something narratively satisfying to me about BH following this consistent thread all along the campaign. This group started with a few questions (Who attacked Keyleth? Why? What is the meaning of those dreams? Where are Fearne's parents?) and uncovered a whole conspiracy that then revealed itself to the entire world. It reminds me of reading those Fantasy series where the characters hear about the upcoming battle in book 1 and finally get to it in book 14. I can't wait to rewatch and see the foreshadowing and hints that brought this group to this point.

I liked the constant discussions about the Gods. Listen, as a gay person raised in a Catholic family, boy I've had my dealings and issues with religion. But I find it nice to be able to put our own world aside and watch this fantasy world ask questions that would be very controversial in ours. What we know of the Gods of Exandria has fundamentally changed from the first episode of C3 to the last. We went through both ExU Calamity and Downfall during that time. Those Gods have changed from being so removed and above mortals, mystical entities incomprehensible to anyone who dared trying, to beings with a past before Exandria, a family they're willing to protect at all costs no matter how hurtful their siblings are to the mortals, aliens with flaws and faults and failings, full of nuances and grayness in a world that put half of them in a box of "Good" and the other half in a box of "Evil". And as those Gods have been humanised in front of our eyes, it brought the question of whether their power over mortals is still justified and relevant. And now Exandria is about to change, and I find it exciting. IMO, it gives even more of a reason to keep exploring Exandria in the future of Critical Role than if the status quo was maintained. It's hard to do something new in a world that doesn't evolve with the story.

And while I understand people would have loved more time with Bell's Hells (I would have loved that too!), I also kinda loved how rushed and short in time they've been feeling since they've heard of the solstice. They've had a ticking clock ringing in their ears for a while now. People make different decisions when they don't think they have the time to get some sleep on it. Would have Ashton tried to absorb the shard if the group didn't have to leave for Ruidus the exact next day? Would have Orym taken a sword that maybe shouldn't be his if they didn't have to leave for Aeor the next day? Would have Imogen absorbed Predathos if watching Downfall hadn't made them realise that the Gods will break the Divine Gate to keep the secret of Predathos hidden?

IMO, we still got plenty of very interesting character moments despite the limited amount of time those characters spent together. They've been through some shit together, and the friendships they made through the shared trauma will stick with them for years. Because yes, they are friends (except for Braius, that one is on a tightrope lol). But they've proven over and over again what they're willing to do for their tight crew of broken people.

Boy I am so very fond of them. Saying goodbye will be hard 🥹.

[cobragardens]

The Colors of Crowley

Black is the color Crowley uses to cover himself, red is the color that represents Crowley to himself, and yellow is the color that represents Crowley to Aziraphale. What each color symbolizes and how it's used give us important information about Crowley (and to some degree Aziraphale) and about the ineffable relationship.

I feel kind of dumb writing this post because I'm sure it's glaringly obvious to everyone else, but there's this Metro UK article of all things (the Metro is owned by the hardcore rightwing Daily Mail, btw, so please don't link to it) that mentions the red stitching on Crowley's gloves in 1867, and it made conscious some details I had only subconsciously noted, so fwiw to anybody else, here are my notes on the colors associated with Crowley in Good Omens and their significance in the context of the way each one is used.

I don't think we need to cover black-as-evil in Western color symbology. [And yet here's a long-ass paragraph about it anyway! --Ed.] Light:dark::good:evil has been a thing with Christianity since before Christianity was even Judaism. The Israelites picked it up from the Zoroastrians way back before YHWH had subsumed El as 'God,' which may have been before they were Israelites as well; I mean it was a LONG time ago. Good Omens has been using black and white to represent Hell and Heaven, respectively, long before the show. In the UK, the book was published in paperback with a choice of black or white cover with an illustration of the contrasting character in the contrasting color: Crowley illustrated in black, Aziraphale in white. The current hardcover is grey.

Crowley wears black, and the Bentley is black. At the metanarrative or authorial level this is obviously for the purposes of the black/white demon/angel contrast, but on the intra-narrative level, the Watsonian level, it's interesting to note that Crowley doesn't have to wear black. He's obviously not free to choose from the full color palette, but Furfur's shirt and sash are is dark emerald green, Dagon is in ultramarine (as befits a marine Elder God), and Shax has only been on Earth for four years before she's wearing head-to-toe oxblood. When she shows up later in battle dress she's got a lot of oxblood there, too. And yet Crowley wears black.

Authorial reasons aside, black suits Crowley for a couple intra-narrative reasons. For much of history, black was the most expensive color to dye and maintain in clothing, and as a result it has always been fashionable. And for several centuries in Christendom, wearing black was also a sign that you were in mourning, which was a social and religious obligation when someone close to you died. Whether you could wear other colors with it depended on how long ago that death had occurred.

Again: black is what Crowley chooses to cover himself, and as there is a sharp distinction between how Crowley presents himself to fulfill his obligations and who he thinks of himself as being, there is likewise a distinction between the colors that represent those two quantities as well.

Red is the color the show uses to represent Crowley to Crowley. The most obvious reason is his hair. This is another change from Book Omens, where Crowley is described as having hair that is "dark." A lot of fans in the UK hated the change when S1 came out because fans hate change and the British have a thing against gingers, but Crowley's red hair suits him better than dark imo because the Mother of Demons in Jewish religious literature, Lilith, is traditionally depicted with red hair. Red hair has been associated for more than a millenium in the Middle East and England and Wales with sorcery, witchcraft, demonic influence/possession, and satan-worship.

Crowley wishes his mom was this cool with snakes.

A good case can be made that Crowley genuinely likes the color red in addition to considering it demonically appropriate. I say this for three reasons. Firstly, because when he has a (limited) choice of (again, demonically appropriate) colors, he always chooses red. The marble of the desk in his apartment is not green or grey. He can have any color stitching on his gloves or lining of his jacket collar he wants, but it's always red. Secondly, it's not only red he chooses, it's almost always bright red.

We know Crowley's red isn't supposed to represent blood or violence, because we have another demon character whose use of red represents just that, and it's not the same red:

Compare Shax' oxblood and burgundy to

and

and

and

Crowley's red isn't just red, it's lipstick, cherry, crimson red. And in case we weren't sure that we should read this red as symbolizing passionate, romantic love:

Romantic symbolism aside, bright red is also the color of passion (romantic or otherwise), optimism, heat, vitality, life, (hell)fire, and warning.

Red and black says don't fuck with Jack.

The third reason I think we can safely say that Crowley actually likes the color red is that he hides it. It's always tiny little touches, some of which you have to look for to see. (I still don't know where they snuck in the red on his Elizabethan habit, e.g.) And we know this color is a risk for him, and that he is right to hide it, because Ligur, who doesn't approve of any of Crowley's less-than-fully-demonic embellishments and may share Hastur's opinion that Crowley has gone native, comments on one of Crowley's more noticeably colorful items.

And I think the red tells us one more thing about Crowley, too.

Bright red is the colorest of colors, you know? When we can choose only one color to represent all colors, to represent colorfulness itself, we choose bright red (even in cultures where red symbolizes other meanings than it does in Western art).

Remember how Aziraphale gives Crowley's jacket a tartan collar when he swaps bodies with Crowley and impersonates him in Hell because Aziraphale feels the need to maintain some small secret token of his identity, some tiny unremarked sign of something he loves and thinks is beautiful, when he is down there alone in the gloom among enemies?

Crowley is down there alone among enemies every second of every day and night, whether he's in Hell or on Earth. And he's already had his identity stripped from him once. If you were someone who said

about this

and then you got recruited by the fash downstairs bc the fash upstairs threw you out for not being fashy enough and you had to start wearing nothing but dark colors and more importantly had to hide everything that made you feel warmth or softness or joy, and that was it, that was the deal for eternity, but you could add one (1) little touch to everything you wore to remind yourself that there is some beautiful part of you left, something you loved once, that no one has yet been able to steal or brutalize out of you...what color would the stitching on your gloves be?

Lastly, Yellow represents Crowley to Aziraphale. I'm going to skip the chain of evidence for this bc I think it's obvious, but the way it's used also lends itself to some inferences supported in other areas in the show.

Here's where I think changing Crowley's hair to red from Book Omens' dark is a good decision in another way. Crowley always has red hair, and if he has any color in his clothes it's going to be red. Red is eye-catching; it always stands out, but it doesn't stand out as demonic. And yet the color Aziraphale associates with Crowley and calls "pretty" isn't red.

I suspect that when Aziraphale says he can make Crowley an angel again, Crowley hears "You're not good enough for me to accept you as you are, let me fix you" because these are words Aziraphale has said to him many times, and has meant some of those times. But

tells the audience differently. The color Aziraphale associates with Crowley, the color he calls "pretty," is the color of Crowley's only overtly demonic feature. Aziraphale doesn't love the angel he knew who isn't Crowley, he loves Crowley, the demon, the person he is now, his yellow demon irises.

Yellow appears in three other places in S2, and they're all symbolically significant, and in fact serve to establish another symbolic significance to the color yellow in addition to that of Yellow Is the Color of My True Love's Eyes.

One of them is a feather duster:

Crowley reacts to a feather duster like a cat confronted by an unfamiliar object

The other three are private conversations between Aziraphale and Crowley:

The walls that surround Crowley and Aziraphale when they speak openly about their situation and how they will handle it are drenched in yellow, and that is super interesting, because in Western color symbolism yellow is the color of fear. The archangel of whom Crowley and Aziraphale are both (rightly) terrified wields a tool the color of fear. The color of fear saturates the backdrop of conversations between Aziraphale and Crowley when they have to discuss their situation and their actions openly.

Remember how Aziraphale's voice shakes here?

Crowley realizes the crows have just handed an angel evidence the angel can take to Hell and use to have Crowley killed

Even the Bentley, that clear sign of Aziraphale's love for Crowley, is also a yellow coffin enclosing him. For Aziraphale, thoughts of Crowley are always entangled with fear, because Crowley is not just Crowley, he is also Crowley's Fall.

And I think fear is what Crowley's eyes themselves represent. For Crowley, fear is now a fundamental part of his perception, his nature, his identity.

The angel Aziraphale once knew is not Crowley, and yet from what we've seen, the chiefest difference in character between this sweetheart and this mischief-maker--

--is that the Starmaker does not know yet that he should be afraid, and the Serpent does. That knowledge and its fear has, shall we say, colored his view of the world.

Aziraphale learns that fear early by observing others rather than Falling himself, and knows enough that by the first time we meet him in the Before, he is already afraid.

Pink was once symbolically equivalent to red; in modern Western color symbology it is a color of innocence, youth, beauty, and first love. Hashtag just sayin'.

The cruellest thing this suggests to me is that, rather than rebellion or his propensity to ask questions, rather than the knowledge of good and evil, the Starmaker's Fall was caused by his innocence. it wasn't the questions that were the problem: it was that he didn't know any better than to speak them out loud.

Y'all, Crowley and Aziraphale do not suffer from communication problems. Despite both being male-coded and British, they don't even seem to lack emotional intelligence. What they do have is a universe of silence and fear they have to communicate within and around. What they lack is the safety to speak and love freely. The true color of Crowley is crimson, but someone gave him those eyes, and Aziraphale either watched that happen or knew about it, and now Crowley covers himself in black--which btw is also the symbolic color for mystery and secrets--and only lets Aziraphale see him as he really is now, because Aziraphale won't judge him for his yellow eyes (or punish and forsake him for his questions). Because Aziraphale carries that fear with him too.

[gotham-daydreams]

Hey! So, you mentioned that Batfam slowly shifts their obsession towards friend!reader, so what happens to the idol twins? Is the batfam's obsession temporary, like would they leave the idol duo alone, or would they kindap both idols and the reader?

That.. is an interesting question!

Honestly I see the batfam potentially using the duo as a means to get back to the reader as they begin to actually learn about them as a person, what they do, and so on! So the duo sort of get added onto the growing list of things that the family ultimately use against the reader. I don’t think they'd necessarily get kidnapped and moreso just emotionally manipulated under the pretenses of now being 'friends' with some of the family members. And in that way, I guess the roles almost reverse? Except the duo doesn't see the fakeness of it or its harder for them to catch since, well, they aren't as 'close' - and may even perceive it as concern since the family have supposedly 'known' the reader for a while as well, so it's only natural they'd want to know what's up with them and such.

Again, it's a process and it's not like a switch getting flipped - not really. From the perspective of the idols, it might just be how the family is - and sure, they know the family a little better now, but not necessarily for a long time. They may have even known about the family before then, but they're still learning about them as people, as friends and so on. Not to mention their own careers and all that - but that's getting a little too real about it.

Nevertheless, at least at the start of the transition they're sort of put in the reader's position and not as able to see the red flags presented to them - but mostly because they don't see it, and since it's during the process, they don't actually get a lot of the threats and so on that the reader did initially. They get it to a much lesser degree, imo.

However, as things progress and the family sort of fully shifts over - focus on them does lessen, but they aren't necessarily forgotten either. The twins mean a lot to the reader, and are important people in the reader's life, so they are moved from ways of getting information of the reader, and instead a way of getting to the reader. Still a means to an end, but in arguably a more dangerous sense. Especially because at this point, the reader knows, and the family knows that too. And they abuse the hell out of it.

Instead of being the main focus, the idols are used as the main risk that the family dangles over the reader's head. The reader knows what they're capable of, the family knows what they're capable of, and only one of those parties knows when they will actually act - not if.

In that way, the idols become one of the biggest things the family can put on the line if the reader does something they don't like, or doesn't allow them back into their life 'willingly'. And sure, the idols are, well, idols, but the family at that point is close enough to pull multiple strings any which way, not to mention more then rich enough to pull it off. Though, knowing this family, that means little.

Nevertheless, the answer is that the idols are used as a constant threat, something big for the reader to lose among other things - but still important enough for it to be notable. The idols are given less focus, but not left alone entirely - even if the reason for the continued focus has changed now and is for an entirely different purpose then when it started. Funnily enough, the for the idols, the 'friendship' they have with some of the family members might even be more genuine this way.

No one is kidnapped, but the reader is trapped.

[jjangwonie]

DOUBLE LIFE

DOUBLE LIFE MASTERLIST

𓂃⊹ ִֶָ summary: With your anonymous Twitter account, you've acquired a pretty good following and popularity, throughout your school as well. Jake, your long-time crush, is one of them, head over heels. Yet when you once confessed to him, he had rejected your confession, saying that he already has his eye on someone else. What happens when he finds out that his online crush is the person that he rejected? And... How are you going to deal with this?

𓂃⊹ ִֶָ word count: ~2k

jjangwonie note: first written ep!! I was a little busy the last days, so I wasn't updating as I was initially, but here it is! I decided to split this written ep in two, since it will be too long imo, but then it will be more to look out for, no? ;). I'd love to hear your opinions or speculations about the smau so far, I am having so much fun with this ^^

Important notice! for written eps, I will put the "previous|next" button on the bottom, so it's easier for you to reach 😁

ELEVEN - you look guilty as hell [written]

“Finally, you're out.” Riki's voice reaches your ears as if you couldn't hear his nags and whines through his text messages. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” You roll your eyes, coming out of the girls bathroom.

You push through them and quickly empty your books into your locker, before swinging your bag over your shoulder and the four of you exit the main entrance of the building.

Sunoo huffs a breath out. "Imagine going in between the two buildings in one day." His eyes wander over the long pathway with many patches of nature between the two buildings. "I already am worn out from looking at it." His hands fly to his shaking head.

Jungwon chuckles. "It gets easier. And to be honest, it's a nice break from the cramped classes," he responds while putting his spectacles in its case.

"And an excuse for if you're late," you add with a hint of mischief. "Please. The amount of times I took my sweet ass time when I had Advanced Writing."

"Okay, nerd." Riki breathes out, earning a smack on the arm from you.

"Whatever." You stick your nose up.

"And while I was there, it gave me an excuse to search for my brother and ask for money. You know, the money that I used for your extra desserts?"

Your eyes land on Riki, who avoids your eyes purposefully. "What? Nah, don't know what you are talking about." Of course. Act all innocent all you want.

Sunoo locks your arms together. "Anyways. Excited for tonight? First time going out with the four of us like this, out and about and not getting tipsy in the park." He laughs. "The weather is pretty nice too."

And he is right. To be fair, the warmth of the descending sun touching your skin paired with the soft breeze is indeed nice and very calming.

Not for long, though.

That's when your brother calls out to you. You're met with Sunghoon waving you over, not very far from where you four are standing. But your eyes land on the figure beside him.

"No way," you mutter, eyes wide. And you're not the only one. Jake looks evenly surprised, lips seemingly still. Riki's eyes dart between you two sneakily while you approach. "Well, isn't this interesting?"

"Uhm. Excuse me... Jake?"

Though it is a quieter place, the music of the crowded school festival makes your voice barely heard. Jake turns around, before finding the source of the voice.

"Yeah? That's me."

His eyes looked so dreamy, and his pretty full lips were turned up in a friendly smile, making heat rise to your cheeks to the point of you wanting to run away right there and then.

"...Hi, I'm... well..." you fail to get out of your words.

"Yeah?"

No, you shouldn't leave now. Not when you already, finally, have his attention.

"Um, I have seen you during football practices, and around school."

That's a lie. It wasn't only those practices, and whenever you had to go over to the other building, at least, it didn't feel as casual to you as it might seem.

"I know this is really sudden, and you don't really know me, but... I think you're really cool and, I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime."

You can't even look in his eyes the moment those words fall out of your mouth.

It felt like an eternity before he said something. "Oh! I... Wow, I'm flattered. Really! But..."

Oh.

"I kinda have my eyes on somebody else right now... I hope you understand."

Oh... yeah, of course.

Although the heat in your cheeks doesn't falter, your heart feels like it fell all the way into the ground. As if this isn't the most embarrassing thing that could happen.

"Oh gosh, of course. I am so sorry for bothering you. This was a mistake." You let out an embarrassed chuckle.

"No, no, you didn't bother me at all. It was brave of you to-"

But you're already backing away. "I should go. Please forget that this happened. Sorry again!" you manage to squeeze out, before turning around and disappearing in the crowd.

"Wait, I didn't catch your...." But you're already gone. "...name."

Well, shit.

Sunghoon, oblivious to the tension, grinned.

"Jake, this is my little sister, y/n, and her friends..."

'Does he know? Does Hoon know? Does he even remember? That is stupid, why would he even remember?'

"...you know Riki already. This is Jungwon, right? And that is Sunoo- y/n? You there?"

Sunghoon snaps his fingers in your face, finally making you lift your head to face Jake. He looks as shocked, maybe even more than you.

'No, he does remember, doesn't he?'

"Hi, nice to meet you, Jake." Which comes out as barely a whisper.

Jake is not doing all well either, his eyes darting between you and Sunghoon.

'That's that girl from the other day who asked me out. So her name is y/n... Wait no, she's Sunghoon's sister...'

'She is Sunghoon's little sister.'

'I rejected Sunghoon's little sister.'

'Oh, yeah I'm fucked.'

"Uh hi!" he sounds out hurriedly. "Yeah, nice to finally meet you in person, y/n. And nice to meet you all." Jake plays with the back of his hair. Your brain is setting off alarms, telling you to go away, to cancel this, before something embarrassing happens again. But you can't.

'This is going to be a disaster. How am I going to hang with him in this setting while he is talking real flirty with me on Twitter? What if he decides to text her? What do I do?'

"Earth to y/n," Sunghoon's voice cut through your thoughts. "You okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Riki snickers. "Maybe she's just starstruck meeting Jake," he teases, earning a sharp elbow from Jungwon.

You shake your head. "I am fine, Hoon. Let's go. Don't wanna be late." You take fast strides forward, dragging Sunoo along with you, the others falling into pace with you.

Even though the walk through the city was dead silent, it surprisingly, luckily, went by pretty fast.

As you step into the pub, the warm, lively atmosphere washes over you, a stark contrast to the tense silence of the walk. The air hummed with chatter and the clinking of glasses, while the scent of beer and pub food wafts around you.

You guys walk around and find Jay and Heeseung who were engrossed in their pre-performance rituals. Jay was hunched over his guitar, fingers dancing across the strings as he fine-tuned each note. Heeseung, meanwhile, was running through vocal exercises, his rich voice barely audible over the pub's ambient noise.

The moment Jay spotted you, his face lit up with a broad grin.

"y/n!" he exclaimed, enveloping you in a warm hug. "It's been too long!" As Jay releases you and moves to greet the others, Heeseung approaches, a charismatic smile on his face.

"Well, well," he says, his eyes twinkling as they meet yours. "If it isn't the lovely y/n. You're looking particularly pretty tonight. Did you dress up just for us?"

Before you could even process the compliment, let alone respond, Sunghoon is there, inserting himself between you with speed. "Hyung," Sunghoon warns. "What did I tell you about flirting with my sister?"

Heeseung raises his hands in mock surrender, but the mischievous glint never leaves his eyes. "Can't blame a guy for appreciating beauty when he sees it, can you?"

Sunghoon's eyes narrowed. "I can and I will. Keep it up, and you might find yourself singing soprano tonight." He takes a broad, but humouristic stance.

"Alright, alright," Jay intervenes, still chuckling. "How about we get you all a table? We've got about twenty minutes before we need to set up for real."

As you all settle at a table with a pretty good view of the stage, your murmuring with the three boys comes to a halt when you turn to your brother.

"No. I only said yes to boba," He says sternly. "Oh, come on!" you whine. "Please?" you ask sweetly. He knows he can't win, so he complies with a sigh. "Fine. Non-alcoholic drinks for the four of you," he states while he stands up. Simultaneously, Jake stands up as well. "I-I'll help to bring everything back with you."

When they reach the bar and order the drinks, Jake tries to sound casual, leaning his arms over the bar, mirroring Sunghoon. "So... That's your little sister, huh?"

"Yeah. Why?" Sunghoon's eyebrow raises while watching the bartender making the drinks. "Oh, nothing! Just never seen her around before." But he fails at sounding nonchalant. "You haven't?" Sunghoon asks.

Jake turns his head to face his good friend. "I mean, I've seen her, but I didn't know she was your sister," he downplays. Sunghoon narrows his eyes, but not facing him yet, his eyes stuck on the drinks getting mixed. "Uh-huh. And why are you so interested all of a sudden?"

"Interested? What, no! It's just... she seems nice. Haha..." Jake straightens his back. When the bartender puts the drinks on the bar, Sunghoon finally turns to face Jake. "You're acting weird. What's going on? Jake, have you been hitting on my sister?" he asks suspiciously.

Jake waves his hands frantically. "No! No way! I would never! I mean, not that she's not great, but—"

Sunghoon sighs. "Look, Jake, I know you. If you're thinking of pulling your usual flirty routine—"

"I'm not! Promise! Scout's honor!" He puts his hands up. Sunghoon throws a look at Jake. "You were never a scout."

No, but I did reject your sister once... "What was that?"

"Nothing! I said... uh... your sister seems really... nice!"

Sunghoon narrows his eyes again while handing half of the drinks to Jake. "Uh-huh. Well, keep it that way. Nice and distant. Got it?" Jake nods in response. "Oh, and Jake?" Sunghoon smirks. "Yeah?"

"Stop sweating. You look guilty as hell."

That went really smoothly. Not like it went any better on your end...

"I'm done for. What do I do?" you mutter from behind your hands.

"Quick! Fake your own death!" Sunoo lets out while scooting closer to your seat. Riki deadpans over. "Great idea. I'll start writing your eulogy."

"Can we please be serious for one second?" Jungwon sighs and pries your hands from your face, urging you to sit up. "Serious? How can I be serious when my crush slash real-life rejector is talking to my brother?!"

Sunoo gasps. "Ooh! I've got it! We'll create a distraction. Riki, how fast can you learn to juggle?"

"About as fast as y/n can grow a few inches." He leans back and rolls his eyes. A glare is quickly sent his way. "I will end you, Riki."

You take a big breath before sitting straight. "What if Jake tells Sunghoon he rejected me?" Riki sits up and leans over the table this time. "Didn't he get really concerned when you were moping around?"

That is true. You never told your brother, but it was easily noticeable you were out of it for some time.

"Okay, let's think. Would Jake hyung even remember that it was you he rejected?" Jungwon taps on the back of his hand. "But what if he does? Hoon will kill him." You say up front, before pointing at yourself. "And then me."

"Ooh, murder mystery. That's another great distraction, great idea." Sunoo lets out, stuck in his own thoughts. Riki pats Sunoo's head sarcastically. "Sure, because adding homicide to the mix will definitely improve the situation, hyung."

Jungwon sighs and faces you, trying to find your eyes.

"Look, y/n, even if he remembers, I doubt he'd bring it up to your brother. It would be awkward for him too. And he definitely doesn't know about your Twitter... situation."

You groan and you're back behind your hands. "I'm doomed."

"There, there. Look on the bright side." Jungwon chimes in again and pats your back. You peek from behind your fingers. "What bright side?"

"...I'll let you know when I think of one."

"They're coming back! Quick, assume casual positions!" Sunoo whispers loudly as he sees Sunghoon and Jake walking back with the drinks.

Riki leans back in his chair, acting all cool and nonchalant. "Oh yes, this is how I always sit when I'm not worried about potential fratricide."

"I hate you all so much right now." You hiss back. "Love you too, shorty," Riki grinned, ducking as you swat at him.

Jungwon pats your back again. "Now smile and try not to look like you're planning an escape route."

PREVIOUS | NEXT

©jjangwonie 2024

TAGLIST:

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@sanasour @violets-for-yj

[runaeveena]

Your dashboard if you were in a d&d fantasy world still involved in fictional erotica discourse part 2

⛰️ berenicesblade Follow

now that the new Mountain Angel volume has come out can we please tag spoilers, some of us are still waiting for our pigeon mail

🦚 faeynadaughter Follow

you can access the volume in full on TomePlane!

🎭 bardcampistrash Follow

until TomePlane acknowledges that its interplanar storage is made possible by binding aboleths to the plane and killing them then we are going to continue not using that platform, thanks

🦚 faeynadaughter Follow

aboleths killed my cousin who was a royal cleric. ill never understand why theres a whole movement to protect abyssal creatures when theyve caused so much damage to our kingdoms. and disliking a pocket dimension which provides thousands of people access to books? your attitude reeks of anti literaturism and mal-aligned virtue signaling and im not sure which is worse

🫒 tenthday237 Follow

Aliizya gets pregnant on page 62

⛰️ berenicesblade Follow

banished

620 Notes

🏰 finchtruther Follow

okay but the way that faelor finch writes every song that perfectly fits pennbiel liiike its giving closet fangirl

🧭 waywardwarlock

seriouslyy!! like what else is "give me your unmarked hand / in the shadowfell we won't be a secret" supposed to be about if not pennipher and corabiel

16 Notes

🌫️ cloudgiant-snailboy Follow

yall please dont fill up the unseen servant tag with your super fucking weird smut posts im just looking for tips on how to find my unseen servant

🪡 scç-writer

the search function on tomeblr does need to be updated but we dont have to kinkshame :)

🌫️ cloudgiant-snailboy Follow

the site is being overrun by virgin degenerates

🍯 treebarkhookhandwagondoor

sounds like you need Wilam the Wizard with Wandering Hands to help you summon the unseen stick in your ass

290 Notes

🗝️ crypt-princess Follow

so whose going to be the first to commission a painting of that scene with Aliizya and the beholder 👀

🍎 bloodmaledickening Follow

i already asked my local artisan he said he's gotten two other commissions for the same scene lmao

🐁 softbarbarian

girl i commissioned a tapestry

45 Notes

🕯️ andersfirelight Follow

friendly reminder that devil deals are a real thing that a lot of people fall victim too and that demons are malicious and do destroy peoples lives if theyre not careful so please be careful when consuming works like Hellionfinity which romanticizes devil deals and fiendish soul contracts

🌾entangled-farmer Follow

imo any work of fiction that involves a romance between any type of fiend is not just problematic but harmful

🕯️ andersfirelight Follow

i used to be indifferent to books that had devil romance interests because like thats their whole thing theyre seducing people to get their souls and the mc overcomes it, but reading through the replies i see that Hellionfinity actually ends with the devil character as the main romantic lead which is super problematic in terms of power imbalance and the fact that he has a redemption arc is so out of touch especially since our military is finally recovering from the azgurian assault

🧚🏻‍♂️arms-of-faelor

helliofinity also has a scene where the main character uses a soul coin that an imprisoned mortal gave him and he uses it to bring the devil out of avernus so he doesnt fully die and no one in the book mentions it or talks about how messed up it is to use soul coins and we never see the now bound to hell prisoner ever again

🕯️ andersfirelight Follow

hellionfinity officially cancelled on my end!

88 Notes

☘️ celest-ial Follow

moment of silence for all the customers waiting on drink orders while the tavern wench gets her back blown out by a new guy every night ✊😔

🦁 king-killa Follow

the gods work hard but Girthy Gladys gets worked harder

57,022 Notes

🎲 beholdersbeholdingme

paladin and warlock romances are OUT! cleric and necromancer romances are IN!

🪭 royalcoinpurse Follow

the only thing a cleric should do to a necromancer is beat him to death so she can revive him and kill him again

🎲 beholdersbeholdingme

❇️ arch-dryad Follow

i think we need to analyze why we're so quick to place women in categories of devious seductress or healer in romance novels as if that hasnt been the pervasive trope that holds magic-touched women back in our actual society

🍯 treebarkhookhandwagondoor

why do you assume these fictional tropes are mf couples only? can a gay cleric not beat his gay necromancer boyfriend to death?

🎲 beholdersbeholdingme

and off! beat him off cmon guys

5,275 Notes

🧀 weremouse Follow

yall ever be talking or whatnot and feel like no one understands you

🪨 sebrenenogdon Follow

ᛄᚠ ᛡᚢ ᚳᚪᚾ ᚱᛁᛞ ᚦᛄᛋ ᛡᚢ ᚺᚪᚠ ᛏᚢ ᚱᛁᛒᛚᚪᚷ ᚦᛄᛋ

🧀 weremouse Follow

say that shit fr (<- looking around clueless)

🪨 sebrenenogdon Follow

ᛋᛁᚱᛁᚪᛋᛚᛁ

60 Notes

🌠 crownofstars

remember when that person made a call out post for the author of ilairepeler for using a ghost writer and it turned out the author was an actual ghost. writing. like a literal ghost writer. like.

���gnomestool Follow

arent you the dwarf that fucked a slaad

🌠 crownofstars

how would you like to become a ghost so you can write more witty comments like this for eternity

301 Notes

[ohnomyhooves]

The funniest possible aus imo are the ones where rosi never went undercover and only reunited with doffy when he became a warlord. Poor commander rosi trying his best to change the system from the inside and his freak of a big brother who is a horrible pirate and WILL NOT stop breaking into marine bases to stalk him and coo over how serious he is. Just absolutely deranged doffy in full obsession mode and rosi is trying so so hard here PLEASE and doffys crazy little knife child is not helping (as much as rosi tries to deny he finds law adorable).

Grand dreams of squashing marine corruption from the inside might be (more) doomed because it is impossible to work with doffy anywhere in the same sea

ANON YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS AHAHA

Doffy making a habit of breaking into Marine bases just to tease Rosi for being so Serious is absolutely hilarious, 100% something he would spend his time doing. He's a menace to society who prioritises his entertainment over most else, of course he would. Picturing the poor uninitiated regular Marine personnel having the shock of a lifetime when their base is suddenly overrun by a Warlord and his crew. Why is Doflamingo suddenly stalking through their base like he belongs here ?? He won't even directly answer the question of why he's here, the officers are so on edge because yes Warlords and the Marines have an agreement but they are still dangerous pirates and this one in particularly seems very unstable.

They'll learn what's going on soon enough when Commander Rosinante returns to the base and Doflamingo zeroes in on him. Fully commits himself to following him around and needling him. And that scary knife child, too!! What the hell is his deal??

I completely agree that Rosi finds that little kid adorable despite his stabby tendencies and personality kind of developing in the direction of being like Doffy's. I like to think that Law is initially unfriendly and distrusting @ Rosi because a) he's a Marine and b) he's jealous of all the attention he gets from Doffy, but then Rosi shows him so much kindness and consideration he's never really felt since his life stopped being normal and he warms up to him eventually :')

But on another interesting note, the idea of Rosi working to fix the system from the inside while Doffy also has a problem with the system and wants to destroy it (though not for such morally upstanding reasons) presents a fantastic opportunity for them to actually work together, I think. They don't have the same goal, but there will be areas that overlap, and despite the fact that it is a terrible idea to give his crazy brother an inch, I think Rosi is committed enough to take those chances...👀

[signanothername]

do you have any fic recs bout killer or nightmare??

Tbh Anon i’m the wrong person to ask cause I can be extremely picky with fics and if anything, I’m the one in desperate need for good fic recommendations hdhdhd

So like I don’t have many recs myself, but imma share some I love/loved reading

Killer fics 👇

Calling into hell - ongoing, a really fun read, Nightmare gang centric from Killer’s POV, the absolute dread and psychological horror in it are wonderful

Broken tool - oneshot, Killer and Nightmare centric, very angsty as it follows canon in terms of their relationship, warning for animal cruelty

Backyard nights - oneshot, Color spectrum duo centric, hurt/ comfort and fluff, really chill fic that’ll warm your heart <3333

I’ve become so numb - oneshot, hurt/no comfort and very angsty as it explores the abuse Killer goes through and Killer’s perception of it, a bad/sad ending

The Same Smile - oneshot, Killer and Nightmare centric, explores Nightmare and Killer’s first meeting

———

Nightmare fics 👇

I don’t need you anymore - oneshot, Apple twins centric but from Nightmare’s POV, very angsty and hurt/ no comfort, I really love Nightmare characterization in this, it also explores the idea that the twins’ lives are linked where if one of them dies the other does too, interesting concept that I don’t see explored often, really adds to this fic imo

The root of the matter - oneshot, Apple twins centric, hurt/comfort and fluff, explores the idea of the twins actually talking about their problems, has the interpretation of Nightmare actually trying to keep the balance (which is always nice to see), really sweet and heartwarming

In a Minor Study of Evil: The Necessary - oneshot, Nightmare gang centric from Nightmare’s POV, an interesting character/character relationships study, uses metaphors a lot, a nice quick mindless read for when you want something that’s fun to pass the time, explores a more merciful/kind Nightmare while still staying true to his character

———

And here are some fics, that I honestly haven’t read yet, but I have on my “to be read” list, just thought since I’m already sharing fics I might as well share what i plan on reading anyway, and cause I haven’t read them yet, I can’t really provide my thoughts, so take them as surprise fics zhxhhxbxhz

Cracks in our memories

One Hand Offered

Wheels of misfortune, Tiny menace, tiny steps forward, you’ll be fine, now - all by @/mikimakiboo

[the-mpreg-guy]

Hot take like literally on fire buuuuuuut I think it’s kinda unfair to criticize a tv show especially a fantasy or sci-fi tv show for killing a character in the first episode even if it’s a female character for the male characters’ arcs cause like. I’m sorry but that’s what happens in fantasy and sci-fi and drama and literally every genre. Hell look at Patroclus and Achilles. I think it becomes a problem, and definitely something to be criticized, if that female character is never given any depth or dignity beyond being “the inspiration” or there are no other (important or interesting) female characters or most other female characters are fridged. And yes spn fully does those things sometimes with other female characters! I’m not saying it was perfect with its women, that there weren’t other bad writing tropes used! But like idk imo killing Mary and Jess in the first episode is not necessarily a problem in and of itself, within the span of the first episode—and even the first season, especially considering they kill John at the end too!—because it is a very common literary/media technique that can be applied to any gender. But like maybe I’m missing something, even as a female viewer. So yeahh that’s my hot take lol enjoy or even rip it to shreds if you’d like to!

I don’t know if I have a take on this, because Mary and Jess dying doesn’t bug me personally (esp since the time travel eps take care to flesh Mary out and ALSO John gets to die 23 eps later as a treat) but I also don’t speak for everyone and I’m sure I could find really good takes on why it’s Problemstic™️ that I’d probably agree with. But then again, Supernatural IS unique from other forms of media that fridges characters because, well, everyone dies.

If I’m really gonna dig into it, I think my time is better spent talking about some of the more problematic elements of the show (like the stupid asian porn joke or the underage comments the writers slipped in) than yapping about how problematic the pilot was for doing something pretty typical for the era it aired in. Hell, I’d rather discuss some actual problems with the show that have irl consequences, like the workplace environment some of the actors worked in or the death threats actresses received.

But also like. The show is already aired. We can talk it all to death about how sexist and problematic it is, but at that point who’s even having fun in this fandom. I’d rather just enjoy the show without having to make a disclaimer every two minutes that I understand it has issues.

[stevengrantshubby]

some random musings ive been turning over since ive seen the movie (ive only seen it once at this point)

the fact that remmick only knew about the juke joint because he ate the KKK couple is so...interesting and i cant even articulate why. like yea the ppl at the juke joint were always going to be in danger (cause of the KKK who were coming in the morning) but all the vamp stuff happening to them cause of that just...i dunno! ive been thinking about it

grace and annie both being mothers (even tho annie's child had passed). theres a connection there somehow, but my brain is mush.

mary, even tho shes married to some yt guy, is still in danger by being there. i think the movie is explicitly telling us that when the KKK husband makes reference to "light-skinned niggers" and then obvi she gets turned and made into a double agent

i think the way the vampirism works in the movie is interesting cause both stack and mary seem to have genuine grief/anger when annie is killed. theres this...tension (i dont remember fully what annie said about what vampires are outside of souls being trapped in a dead body) cause yes remmick is in there too, sure. but mary and stack are also in there (as evident by the final scene with them). this makes the bo bits interesting. tho i think (or like to) part of it is remmicks desire to connect to his own ancestors and past, mixed with his victims desires to reunite with their family (but remmick's wants take precedent which is why no one just leaves him and goes to eat the town or something)

every sammie/peraline scene was cute as hell. ill never get over the "im married/happily?" exchange hehe. sammie being down to be an cheater is a great bit for him. he was so smooth with it as well. sammie is smooth when he wants to be.

i wish, i wish, i wish sammie and pearline got a song or something together.

when all the vampire stuff was happening but pearline was being kinda difficult, i think it sorta, highlights that shes not apart of the community in the same way everyone else is seems like. i think this makes her a...foil/parallel/whatever to mary in a certain way (theyre even introduced at the same time)

sammie keeping hold of his guitar, and getting it fixed, is really powerful as how he expressed himself and his musical gift that God (as per the movie imo) gave him.

interesting that both smoke and sammies father tell him to give up the guitar, but for different reasons, sammie doesnt listen to either of them

annies spiritual work (hoodoo) is pretty interesting in connection to the movies themes between connection with their/our ancestors (also id say that within the movie and the black american context christianity has been a tool of colonization and assimilation, even tho christianity has existed in africa for a long time, listen dont ask be the specific number but i think its more than a millennium, but yknow what i mean) especially cause it works and the prayer does not

very funny that remmick does his little song and dance of "oh pls help me" on the KKK couples porch but they only let him in after he flashes his gold at them. and then he tried the same trick at the juke joint. the loser cant talk his way into anywhere lol. (i also dont know much about irish mythology, spirituality, ect outside of pop culture stuff, but i feel like remmick may also tie into fae from irish myth as well as like being a vampire)

something about...smoke saying he doesnt believe in like demons, ghost, haints, things like that, he only believes in like money and power and here comes remmick, a supernatural being, with money an power

i prolly have more but these have been rotating in my head and are the ones i can mostly put into words. everything else is still a jumble and vibes.

🤔🤔🤔

[wei-ying-kexing-apologist]

Random QL Superlatives: 2024 Edition

Well I see @lurkingshan started the trend, so I better hop on

Most Heartbreaking Use of Weather: Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo

gif by @my-rose-tinted-glasses

I am going to be honest. Korea really fucking came for my throat with multiple shows that wielded weather as a weapon against my emotional state. But Hwang Da Seul absolutely wins the award for destruction of my very soul via snow. I swear to god every time it snowed in this fucking show I was losing my mind over the scene that played out before me. First it was doorways that crushed me (shout out to To My Star 2), and now it’s three snowflakes on Do Hoe’s cheek. 

Most Emotionally Charged Inanimate Object: Ossan no Pantsu ga Nandatte Ii Janai ka (aka No One Cares for an Old Man’s Underwear)

gif by @avorbl

Not a BL but one of the most important stories involving queerness of the year imo. When Makoto went back to that store to buy that wallet for Kakeru I kid you not I spontaneously erupted into tears. This was not the first nor the last time that this show made me bawl like a hungry newborn, but it for sure was one of the best indicators that Makoto was not only beginning to accept, but internalize and reshape his worldview to be more loving and accepting of difference. 

Most Realistic Fight Between a Lawyer and Henchmen: Doku Koi: Doku Mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (aka Love is Like a Poison)

gif by @conscbgb

Step aside Matthew Murdock! There’s a new lawyer in town and he absolutely cannot fight for shit! Honestly an iconic moment in this show to see Shiba Ryo take an offensive stance and then immediately get his ass beat in to the ground because he’s a fucking lawyer, not a goddamn superhero. Also it gives Haruta a wonderful little opportunity to show off his skills and to save his loser boyfriend who loves him. 

Most Important Hand Flex Since Pride and Prejudice (2005): The Trainee 

gif by @namtanlovesfilm

HELLO! I THINK WE MOVED PAST JANE’S DESK GRAB A LITTLE TOO QUICKLY! Seriously, not only was it a great hand scene in general (which you know I live for) but it was also a quick and easy way to demonstrate 1) Jane has feelings for Ryan and is trying to hold back and 2) Jane understands the inherent power imbalance between him as an AD and Ryan’s boss and Ryan as an intern. Zero points for Judy.  

Best Creepy Smile: Dead Friend Forever

gif by @lilitblaukatz

HI HELLO I’M ALREADY YELLING AGAIN! BARCODE! BARCODE TINNASIT! As disappointed as I was with the way DFF ended, I was blown out of the fucking water by Barcode’s performance as Non. From KinnPorsche to here that boy has grown astronomically as both an actor and singer, and I’m really proud of him. He had to navigate a lot of different emotional centers with some incredibly terrible things happening to his character. He was able to make Non extremely sympathetic and also creepy as hell! Be On Cloud lost out big time with Barcode leaving the company. 

Best Use of a Dildo: Knock Knock Boys

gif by @pharawee

Honestly for all the BLs that include sex, we rarely get the acknowledgement that sex toys exist, much less the actual usage of said sex toys. I loved that Almond visited a sex shop, purchased a dildo, and that we got to watch a scene of him attempting to use it. This show was honestly the biggest surprise of the year for me in terms of enjoyment. I wasn’t even really interested in this show but love Seng and wanted to support his work and then this was absolutely delightful and honestly Almond and Latte stole the show for me. Good job boys!

Best Distinction Between Reality and Fiction: BL Drama no Shuen ni Narimashta: Crank Up Hen! (aka I Became the Main Role of a BL Drama)

gif by @itagakimizuki

Full offense to a particular corner of fan culture, the way that the boundaries between real life and fiction have been known to blend when it comes to emotional bonds between fans and famous people can be very toxic and genuinely dangerous to the health and safety of everyone involved. It is difficult for me to think of a show that made me laugh as hard, as loudly, or as often as I Became the Main Role of a BL Drama did, and yet it included one of the most innocuous but brilliant lines of the year when Akafuji realized that his feelings for Aoyanagi were Real and that he could not have those feelings and continue to think of himself as Aoyanagi’s fan. Iconic. 

Best Use of Subtle Foreshadowing: Love for Love’s Sake 

gif by @my-rose-tinted-glasses

Shout out to the sound of water, shout out to some of the opening visuals, shout out to red rimmed eyes, and video game malfunctions that increased as time went on, and shout out to Tae Myung Ha being absolutely drenched after running through the school. Not only were the performances commendable throughout but the story itself was phenomenally supported by hair and makeup, sound, and special effects. I beg you all never to forget the importance of those that work behind the scenes, because goddamn did so much of this show suddenly get darker with context.  

Best Backing Track to Hear Over My Tears: Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna (aka She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat)

Kasuga sitting alone in the darkness of her own car, calling her father and officially, permanently severing ties with her father because she has found her strength thanks to the people she currently has in her life was such a highlight of this year. And of course they really drive the stake through my heart by lifting that entire scene up by having Kasuga walk out of the lonely dark and into warm companionship with fucking ‘Chosen Family’ by Rina Sawayama and Elton John playing in the background. WHAT A PERFECT SONG CHOICE! I am about to cry just thinking about it. Also, I definitely totally did not pause in the middle of typing up this post just to rewatch that scene…I don’t know what you’re talking about….

Best Use of Catholicism: Marahuyo Project 

God. This show struck an incredible number of layers when it gave us Archie. The way his grief and his fear and his internalized homophobia caused him to say and do some truly vile, harmful shit to the queer kids on the island was so heartbreaking and real. I have not really gotten the image of Archie’s neck where he’s been scratching at the rosary out of my fucking head since I watched it. This show was beautiful, and brilliant, and full of light and life, and pain, and it included an intersex character which is only the second of the 180+ shows I’ve watched out of Thailand, Japan, Korea, Taiwan, and the Phillipines to have done so. 

Best Use of Internal Screaming: Cherry Magic Thailand

gif by @zhouxiangs

(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH)

Best 'Mark Me Down as Scared and Horny' Face: Unknown

Wei Qian was not prepared for the fact that sending Zhi Yuan to the United States only made Zhi Yuan stronger. I want to acknowledge that this show had a chokehold on me almost all the way through the end for being rather heavy, but that I was especially impressed with Modi's performance as Wei Qian. And it must be said that the look of panic in his eyes when Zhi Yuan feeds him the congee is comedy gold.

Gayest Little Run: Love in the Big City

(could not find any gifs of Go Yeong running in the park so please enjoy this lovely gif by @taeminie )

Again this is not a BL but the way my tumblr community has engaged with this book and this show is one of my favorite parts of the entire year and this is still a really important piece of queer media. I really hope Nam Yoon Su wins all the fucking awards for his performance as Go Yeong. He breathed so much life and texture into that character and it was a joy to watch him take this wonderfully difficult and complicated character on such a beautiful emotional journey. Also he fully committed to the gay little run and that alone is award worthy. 

__ Shout out to all the thoughtful, intentional, and beautiful queer shows that got made this year. Please tag me in other superlatives if they get made, I want to see what people loved or connected to in the show offerings this year. Love you, family <3

@bengiyo asked to be tagged in superlatives.

[the-box-of-mine]

Melinda and demetrius: splitting and dissociation (part 2)

I was talking in the first part here about Melinda and her splitting episodes. In this part I will talk about the oldest son demetrius.

There's no lie in the fact his appearance was surprising, but also everyone knew that he didn't seem right.

But also he's very mysterious and understanding him is quite a challenge with the very little context we have of him. So let's dive into his character a little.

The unfocused look, very intimidating look, and eyebags under his eyes. Hell yeah, he got freaking 6 stellas and didn't even seem happy about it. He just looked very tired and just wanted to go to rest.

Damian and the rest of the gang approached him, and damian went to congratulate him of his achievement. But it seems that Demetrius looked very intimidating to him so he started to stutter. Demetrius took the lead of the conversation and asked him about his Stella (which indicates that Demetrius is actually looking at the progress Damian does academically, which is the most important aspect of demetrius's life). Normally when asked this type of question, it's normal to say "yeah how did you know?" "Yeah what do you think?". But not damian (my little child seems to struggle)😭, he instantly jumped into "how do you think father would think?" ,which is wrong in different aspects, firstly demetrius is the one who asked about his academics, so it felt very disrespectful to do that. Secondly , knowing how Damian gets annoyed with the girls in his class asking constantly about his father (and he's the second son with less remarkable achievements), I'm sure that Demetrius himself has even worse share in this experience, he doesn't even seem to have friends because he feels in different league, and people either intimidated by him or try to use him to get to his father. Lastly, it's their second time talking to each other in school, and damian still asked him in the same matter (about their father) which really gives an impression that he has nothing to ask about but this. But of course Damian didn't mean that, he's a little child who is trying to reach his family, Demetrius himself seems to have also problems with reaching out to others.

But even then he didn't get mad, even in his mind, he didn't get annoyed at damian, he just swayed away keeping his boundaries without any addition, something that neither Melinda nor Donovan did (imo he still got judged wildly). With one struggling with her emotions and splitting episodes, and deadbeat neglectful dad. Which made me believe that he is the one who has higher chances with having a stable relationship with damian. I talked more about this here but to summarise, demetrius is quite surprisingly patient with damian at most times. Considering their parents and his age too.

Now into his interesting mind, in chapter 93, anya tried reading his mind but got nothing at first, and the things she got was he (I don't understand) questions.

This hit very different seeing chapter 110, when Melinda said Donovan can read mind and even demetrius had been saying that.

A lot of people drew to the conclusion that Demetrius has this habit of blocking his mind since he knew his father can read mind, he restricted himself to not have any thoughts at all, which is very painful to think about, making your child anxious to this point is really a new low truly, donovan.

There had been questions about how this is even achievable, a state of blanked mind of barely any thoughts, Mr green talked a little about it when he was with damian and his friends. But let me explain this more.

What is demetrius doing is very similar to something called "dissociation", it's a state of complete stillness of thoughts, flowing through the stress, you can say it's like putting your mind in an autopilot mode. It's a coping mechanism many people do in response to stress and trauma, and its severity changes from one person to another.

Now it seems very peaceful coping mechanism, but it's a hell itself, it's like getting into a deep hole with, the more you get deeper, the more difficult it's to get out of it. The more time you spend doing it, the more it's hard to keep up with your life and tasks.

I'm pretty sure that if Demetrius had been doing it from a very young age, it means he definitely is having difficulty in keeping his thoughts flowing, and that he is not voluntary and completely controls his mind.

Now, what could happen if someone is dissociating excessively? It leads to many mental disorders and problems. The most insightful of them are (dissociative disorders). The three main disorders are (ranked with severity from lower to higher)

1-Depersonalization/ derealization disorder.

2-dissociative amnesia.

3- dissociative identity disorder (aka called multiple personality disorder in the past but the medical term changed)

Now I'm very sure with the amount of excessive dissociation demetrius expressed (and even indicate he started doing it very early). I'm sure he has derealization disorder, he's very out of touch with himself and feels very separated from his reality ,which is a perfect description of this disorder. I wouldn't be surprised if he had dissociative amnesia, like I wouldn't be surprised if he said he doesn't really remember having dinner with his family in chapter 106 (he really was out of touch and just eating his food, not giving care to the tension felt in that time).

(until now he didn't show any signs of being a system or having DID)

I'm sure he also has different mental struggles other than dissociation, but this one is the clearest one. Him and Melinda showed very clear signs of mental health struggles, I tried to analyse that, I hope that they both heal and get the help they need.

[i-live-here-in-my-house]

Thinking about a world where Sega and Capcom came together and gave us what we all deserve: a Sonic X Ace Attorney crossover game. I would think it'd lean more into a visual novel style, maybe with some parts more similar to the Investigation games where you play as Sonic in kinda an isometric platforming stage? Honestly that part isn't as fully formed in my mind.

Some sort of Eggman plot ends up getting everyone accidentally sent to the world of AA while he's on the search for some kinda spirit channeling maguffin to aid him in a take-over-the‐world-plot. And of course Phoenix "luckiest unlucky man ever" Wright ends up getting himself stuck right in the middle of it all.

For the first/tutorial case I think Sonic would absolutely need to be the defendant. I would think the events of the case probably take place either the same day of or the day after the Sonic cast gets transported into the world. Something along the lines of Sonic not having an alibi because he was moving too fast for them to see him would be a perfect kinda turnabout twist to combine the logic of both series together imo.

Also throughout the whole game there would 100% be a running gag about people mistaking Phoenix and Sonic for eachother purely because of Wright's hair and Sonic's quills

Case two's defendant is a toss up between Knuckles or Tails imo, I lean more towards Knuckles being the one though for one very important reason. Tails would be perfect for the Ace Attorney 'weird girl assistant' role. Obviously Sonic would be tagging along too (because no way in hell would you not be able to have both protagonists hanging out together) but Tails would be totally down to help and Sonic, while he totally wants to help Knux, is very much in a "I could just break him out and be back before they could even notice he's gone" mood which is causing Phoenix just SO much grief.

I think this would probably break from the general mold of AA and not be a murder case and instead be a larceny case, with Knuckles being accused of the crime due to his digging skills, and the fact that tunnels were found all around the property of the stolen object. This is where we learn about this spirit channeling macguffin through either a Pearl cameo, who we learn through fluff dialogue is now an honorary member of Team Rose due to how well she gets along with them. It turns out to actually be Rouge who stole the macguffin under orders from G.U.N to keep it out of Eggman's hands meaning she doesn't sentenced for the crime since she technically didn't break any laws.

Case three's defendant would be Big the Cat because I think it'd be funny. Something along the lines of Big looking for Froggy and ending up at a totally unrelated murder scene. You play as Apollo in this case because he's my favorite boy and I think it'd be funny to watch him struggle with having to deal with Big. Just a general silly case full of wacky crossover fun before getting more seriously into the plot with the final two cases. Also the Chaotix are there because you can't have a mystery game without detective. Are the helping? Are they against you? Not really sure. But it'd be a massive missed opportunity to NOT include them.

Amy would be case four's defendant, with her piko piko hammer being found at the scene and Omega's body being found in pieces. That's right! I think it'd be interesting to have a named character be the victim of one of these cases, but obviously I'm not gonna kill anyone off. I think Omega would be the best pick though since he's a robot and it'll take time for Tails to fix him from the totally wrecked state he's in. I think it'd be fun to have Shadow as a key witness in this case, believing Amy did it. He doesn’t want to suspect she did something like this, but claims he saw her in the act of tearing Omega apart with her hammer, take the macguffin and then bolt.

It goes without saying it's obviously Eggman trying to frame Amy for this, using Metal Sonic to frame her by using his shape shifting powers from Heros to disguise himself as her, take apart Omega to retrieve the macguffin, and get it to Eggman. Leading into the final case.

The final case would be a continuation from there with out heros all joining together to try and stop Eggman from using the machine being powered by the Macguffin. Maybe something about Phoenix needing to come with because his magatama is able to counteract it...? Idk. Get that mandatory Edgeworth cameo in there with it being revealed that him and Franziska were teaming up with Team Dark the whole game to help put a stop to things (Giving us fun Phoenix + Sonic and Edgeworth + Shadow parallels). Of course the heros manage to put a stop to things and everyone goes back to their own world yadda yadda happy ending.

This came out way longer than I expected haha but I hope y'all like the concept! If I had the patience I'd totally write this as a fan fic but I know I don't so if anyone wants to take my idea and expand on it absolutely do it! Just let me know so I can read it too. :3