#so it literally would Not bother me writing wise if she came back

[lavenderjewels]

(JJK 236 spoilers/leaks)

now that there’s been a main character sacrifice this means nobara can come back!

[hellobitchlet]

Here are some thoughts on Natlan, as of finishing act 1:

- this will mostly be negative, so let's start with the positives. First off, I'm happy to say that I have, in fact, found something I find interesting in Natlan! I am SO happy that the abyss has FINALLY been brought back into importance outside of hard-to-follow deep lore.

- while I still don't like that Natlan is hyper focused on sports, the idea that the pilgrimage is a glorified way to get ppl to go to war is amazing. That is such a good concept, even if it being in the archon quest means that it probably won't be acknowledged after act 5.

- one of my biggest complaints about Genshin has been that extremely few characters have been important, and connected to lore stuff. So of course, I also adore the abyss stuff for the sheer number of characters who have participated in the war. It's nice that their characters aren't entirely focused on their participation in the war either, as that's one of the big differences that makes Yoimiya better written than most Inazuma aq characters imo.

- I'm happy that the writers have finally remembered Traveler's purification abilities, even though it came out of nowhere after being forgotten about for literal years.

- I have likes and dislikes about Kachina's mini arc in part one, but it was handled slightly better than what I'd expect from Genshin. The main positives; we were actually shown that she cries in short bursts a lot instead of being told, Traveler wasn't automatically allowed to be involved and was told no for once, and her relationship to Mualani is great and accentuated both of their characters well.

- and now, let's start with the negatives. My main negatives of Kachina's act 1 arc; the fact that everyone saw her as weak bc she's lost a lot and not bc she's a fucking child was stupid, the teams portion being filled with brown skinned ppl being mean to her was gross, and the whole thing felt slightly rushed.

- considering that Traveler and Paimon usually act as the voice of 'reason' (as in, telling u what u should think), it's greatly concerning me that they don't seem to see the pilgrimage and a fucking child competing in it as a bad thing. Why were they as initially okay with Kachina dying as Mualani????

- I'm calling it now: the pale skinned npc's shitting on Kachina were pale bc they're Fatui, not bc the writers realized that brown skinned npc's doing that would look racist.

- I understand that the npc who almost died is probably important to the pyro archon, and we did end up with a decent intro to how the abyss acts in Natlan out of it, but I was so bored with the People of the Springs that the 5 minutes spent with the abyss didn't feel like it made up for how bored I was for the 20 minutes spent setting it up.

- absolutely everything about the People of the Springs makes no fucking sense. How the fuck are they a tourist destination AND regularly being attacked by the abyss at the same time?? It's so obvious that they just picked the first stereotype about Hawaii they could find and carelessly shaped their entire identity around it for the sake of it.

- I seriously want to care about Natlan's unique archon situation, but why should I when we haven't gotten an old archon who actually feels like an archon and isn't hopelessly clueless since Inazuma? Like I know that this isn't the same as Nahida and Furina lore wise, but writing wise, I'm not super optimistic about our third young archon in a row.

- seeing how Iansan acts... I definitely think that I'll be crossing off the "Iansan is an adult" part of the Natlan bingo. This point is kind of including the beginning of act 2 that I already did.

If anyone who has finished act 2 thinks that act 2 will change my opinions, don't bother 'politely' 'correcting' me. Not because I care about spoilers, but because I can decide for myself whether my opinion changes :)

[the-owl-tree]

I wish starlight had a better redemption arc. lowkey that’s the only reason I hate her outside of her dumbass backstory (I could fix it) and the lack of explanation for her being almost alicorn level gifted. like lemme tweak her backstory a bit:

she was considered exceptionally talented and everyone had high hopes for her to go far in life or could even get into celestia’s school (kinda like twilight) but she was suuuuper attached to sunburst in an unhealthy way (bpd gang rise up) leading to her revolving her entire world and life around him and when he left she completely spiraled and used her powers to keep others around her from leaving. her specialty are memory and mind altering spells since she canonically even after her “redemption” can’t seem to stop revoking other pony’s rights to free will.

she operates on pure natural talent and raw might due to lack of proper training so it was actually really easy to defeat her and send her packing out of her village. her second appearance she came back with the alicorn amulet (the one trixie had in that episode, but it was gone so fast I am ignoring it. that’s such a cool item wasted on one episode?? no) which is how she fucked with alternate the realities.

in a world where friendships and bonds are pretty much building blocks for their society I can see it being probable that pony’s without friends could suffer health wise too. not just mentally but physically. maybe she never got her cutie mark and blames friendship in general for stunting her. she doesn’t hate just twilight, she hates ALL of equestria. every other pony has someone and she has nothing and no one. no friends, no cutie mark, no purpose. just rage.

when she is defeated again, she should have faced actual consequences. send that horse to prison. idk. why did cozy glow get sent to hell. this isn’t about her.

I think a probation period or similar where she has to earn back the right to use her magic while attending the friendship school and amending her crimes would have been good to see. she her earning forgiveness. show her earning her cutie mark! show her apologizing to every pony she hurt and then accepting they won’t like her anyway! I know it’s a kids show and really they can’t do too many heavy topics, but also I hate this horse

Starlight's insane magical power without any amulets or anything bothered me, I like the idea of her getting her hands on it instead of her just being super mega OP. I get it's for the sake of the plot but it's also sort of like...does magic need to be trained? What's the point of magic schools if the average unicorn can learn a teleportation spell rather easily? do you guys ever think about how OP magic gets in the later seasons, regardless-

It felt weird that the way they chose to write her being won over by Twilight is literally forcing her between a rock and a hard place. Either start being nicies or apocalypse time forever, isn't that fun! It makes it even more disingenuous with how little time they spend redeeming her or even having her recognize the impact she's had on those around her (it bothers me the show seems more invested in how Starlight has been hurt by the Our Town debacle than the Our Town ponies). It also doesn't help her backstory is embarrassing...like girl write a letter you can levitate quills some kids have to use their damn mouths!

I disagree with her being locked up, mainly because I think MLP's weird tonal dissonance around incarceration is uh really weird for the neon pony story (seriously. why did they lock the child in tartarus, why did they turn the child to STONE). Rehabilitative justice is a GREAT thing for kids to learn, showing that anyone can change with work, kindness, and friendship (in the show at least lol)! But by not centering who Starlight hurt and just rushing through her actually working to be better, it makes her story lacklustre and half-hearted. At least in my opinion!

[six-swords]

hello it is me the person who left that ridiculously long comment on ur steb/scar fic. you know the one LMFAO anyways i literally just found out that there is an event in Wild Rift that centers around the firelights and they speak a little w/ scar during it! totally missed this bc my ass has not played a single league-related game in years and im not planning on breaking the streak anytime soon. on the off chance that u didnt know about this either... https://www.reddit.com/r/loreofleague/s/bX9o39uHNX

anyways i would go crazy for a sequel. idk if u were asking what we'd like to see more sex-wise (pussy eating and dirty talk pwease. also if it fits in w/ how you view his character id love to see steb tease scar back but i also fuck with subs being submissive in the truest sense of the word so id be happy either way) or story wise—in that case i would love to know more about scar's baby! has steb taken on more of a parental role or is he just like. "Scar's green friend that spends a lot of time in our apartment and also Scar tells me to go bother Ekko sometimes while he's over (wonder what that's about)." also would like to know more about how you figure Scar's relationship to the kiddo works bc judging by how old they are when we first saw em...if that is his biological child he was definitely boning in the firelights hideout. kind of problematic if you ask meNFNSKSNAKCNSJFN

sorry i really tried to keep this short bc it's a tumblr ask but i Have To Yap. its terminal </3

!! Hello again! I absolutely didn't know about the Wild Rift thing, so thank you for sharing! Any and all official Scar content is helpful for getting a better idea of his characterization. And you're real for avoiding League itself lmfao. I'm not a gamer by any means, so I also don't know shit about the actual games alskdjf

And omg thank you for your enthusiasm and suggestions! I really did only decide to write more because people seemed to enjoy the first fic. I will be having Steb be more active/teasing since they have a more established relationship now teehee. I'm thinking Steb takes initiative, but then Scar takes charge, and Steb, of course, is very into that. And knowing what I usually end up writing, there will probably be dirty talk LOLL. We'll see about Scar eating more pussy. Maybe if i can fit it in :thinking-emoji:

Steb's baby will make an appearance in the fic! Her name is Greer (I'm 80% sure she doesn't have an official name??), and in this fic, she'll be, like, four maybe? For some more context, I've time-skipped two years after the show's finale. And you will be receiving answers to what Steb's dynamic with Greer is! Scar putting Ekko on babysitting duty, so he can fuck his boyfriend is crazyyyy work, but I can see it sdlkfjaldskfj

Also, I think I'm missing something loll. Why would it be problematic for Scar to be fucking in the hideout...? Is it because he's supposed to be focused on all the craziness with Zaun? Like not the time and place kind of vibe sldkjflskfj?? But my tentative and very loose thoughts about Scar and Greer are that he had her with his ex (so Greer is his biological child), but then his ex left him right after Greer was born lmfao. His ex didn't want to raise a kid, but Scar did, so Scar parented Greer alone until Steb came into the picture, and now Steb helps. Sidenote, but I imagine a lot of Scar's relationships have ended in messy or tragic ways. Bisexual king taking L after L...

Also, I love the yapping. Definitely don't ever worry about the comment/ask length!

[cattaliatayuun]

Tried to do yesterdays, but I got too busy to finish my idea :( BUT I'm back! Just in time to do a prompt I've had my eye on ;D

FFXIV Write Day 15- Make Up Day!

I'll be snagging Day 3- Halcyon

Literally no connection to MSQ or real mention of it spoiler wise, but I imagine this being somewhere in early or late Stormblood probably. All that matters is that the WoL has known Alphinaud for A While.

Halcyon: Characterized by happiness, great success, and prosperity; often used to describe an idyllic time in the past that is remembered as better than today

---

The stage lights were bright, but not as bright as the smiles she saw in the audience.

Cattalia held her lute like she'd been born with it, playing the strings with ease as her gaze flitted between the half visible faces beyond the glare of the lights. Her voice floated above it all, the crowning jewel in her soft, but impactful performance.

As muscle memory took over, her mind was free to focus on the finer details of her playing, adding flares to her strumming or extra notes to her vocal runs, and the experience was just as satisfying to execute as she imagined it was to watch. She was warm under the lights, but hardly ever uncomfortable with the attention; she knew her skill spoke for itself. She put her heart and soul into the climax of the music, and-

Knock knock.

Cattalia's eyes snapped open, mouth squeezing shut as she spun around to face her door.

Right. That wasn't who she was anymore.

With a quiet sigh, she set her lute on her bed, and prayed that whoever was at the door hadn't heard her. It'd been ages since she'd actually had time to practice. Stepping to her free company room door, she tugged it open and braced for the worst.

"Cattalia- err- my apologies, I can come back later if now isn't a good time." Alphinaud stood in the hallway, arms already crossed with a guilty crease in his brow. "I would've sworn that was from the orchestrion..." He muttered to himself, though it was perfectly audible from right infront of him. So he had heard. Cattalia's chest tightened as she felt a soft blush crawl onto her face; her confidence of years past had long since faded with disuse. She put on a small smile and shook her head.

"Now is a fine time, what do you need me for?" She assured with a question of her own, keeping things light and trying to refocus him back on whatever task he was here for. Now, however, he seemed wholly distracted.

"Right! The- hmm- well, if you would indulge me a moment..." He trailed off for a moment, gancing down the hall and shifting his weight as if he had some reason to be nervous over the question. "...the music just a moment ago, was that you?" There it was. Of course it was him who had to ask, and when he knew perfectly well what the answer was, too. Alphinaud was her best friend, she couldn't just...

It was Cattalia's turn to break eye contact, instinctively glancing in the direction of her lute (thankfully out of eyeshot from the door) resting on her bedspread. She'd never mentioned this peice of her past to the Scions, in hopes of putting off the inevitable performance request until she could relearn her muscle memory... and hopefully forget what happened the last time she had an audience. Still, Alphinaud was awaiting a response. She looked back to him, smile faltering.

"Sure was." She answered with a tense nod. "I'm still remembering how to play, so it's not much to listen to right now. Hope it didn't bother you." Her explanation was brief, and her flat out apology only seemed to baffle Alphinaud more.

"Bother me? The only thing that might bother me is that you've hidden this talent of yours for so long- that sounded incredible!" His brows raised in insistence as he assured her of his thoughts, but it only flustered Cattalia further- especially when it felt undeserved. However, Alphinaud wasn't finished, looking once again deep in thought.

"I came with an errand from Tataru, but she said it could be done anytime in the next week, so it's not a rush... I just can't believe..." He trails off again, hand resting on his chin in thought before he starts thinking out loud again.

"We've traveled hundreds- likely thousands of malms together, and yet you've not once mentioned an interest in music. An appreciation for it, sure, but you sound like a practiced musician." His curious musings shot through her mind like an accusation, and she couldn't help but feel a bit guilty. It was a major part of her life, and it made sense that it showed, even when she was out of practice.

Her expression fell, and the guilt must have been plain enough on her face to make Alphinaud speak again before she could, a nervous smile suddenly on his face.

"Not that I'm upset-! Please, don't mistake my questioning as any kind of annoyance. I'm simply surprised that you- that I never-" He paused, letting out an amused sigh. "Just, count me impressed. You have quite the voice, 'Talia." She could feel the blush on her ears now, but she'd let Alphinaud speak for plenty long enough, and crossed her arms with a light huff.

"If you insist... you have my thanks, Alphi. Don't expect hearing it to become a habit though." She added quickly, still hoping she might keep her practices somewhat secret for the time being. Alphinaud seemed startled for a moment, before he realized what she meant, his previous energy quickly dropping from his voice with a small nod.

"I... understand. If you're not ready to share, then I won't pry." It was almost painful how disappointed his quiet words sounded, even if he was trying not to make it obvious. "Apologies again for the intrusion- I'll leave these here and let you return to your-" He held out a small pack of notes, but froze when Cattalia turned and walked to the other side of her room, ignoring his offering entirely. In her few steps to get there, she took a deep breath, trying to settle her very loud mind. Thankfully, all her thoughts at least agreed on one thing.

She grabbed her lute and walked back into view of the door, gesturing for Alphinaud to come in with a shift of her head. "Since when have you not enjoyed prying into other people's secrets? You may as well stay, if you're already here." She offered, attempting to ease her stress with a playful jab.

He seemed to take a second to register everything-- the sudden change of mind, her teasing remark, the lute she now held in her arms-- but his mind eventually caught up with her, chuckling as a soft smile returned to his face. He stepped inside, setting the notes on a table just inside the door.

"A personal invitation? How could I refuse."

---

FINALLY a chance to write my boy. Haven't had a good chance to work him into a prompt yet, but now we get some lore a n d some Alphi! Can't have people thinking I'm normal about the video game characters I like. Thanks for reading! 💙

[godsofhumanity]

Reading your headcanons about Athena makes me wonder what made you come up with ‘justice is number one to her’ when there are already several other Gods of justice in the Greek pantheon? Also, I don't think it was ever mentioned that justice falls under Athena? Wisdom, sure, but wisdom and justice are two different things. Wisdom doesn't always mean justice comes with it, imo. Or maybe I missed a couple of info?? Ephiphets that imply justice is her domain, perhaps?? Sorry for the long ask. I'm genuinely curious.

yahh sure let me explain this one. note:- it's largely my hc based on the "vibes" my version of Athena gives me.

Themis is usually considered the goddess of justice. she's a titanide, but is also an ex-lover (wife, in fact) of Zeus.

Zeus himself, while not named god of justice explicitly, is associated with law and order, which i believe, although the law does not always uphold "justice" (as in, being fair or reasonable), i think it is a tool by which justice can be delivered in many cases (again, many but not all).

in my version of events, after the Punishment of Prometheus, most of the Titans take a back seat from affairs in Olympus, and these roles are instead carried out by the younger Olympians, i.e., Athena, Apollo, Ares, etc.

now, Athena's mother is Metis who, as we all know, represents wisdom and wise counsel. so because Metis "dies", i like the idea that Athena "inherits" Metis' position on Zeus' council and becomes the one to provide Zeus with sage advice, etc.

the justice part comes from Zeus' side. being the Judge of kind of everything in Olympus, Zeus is 100% concerned with having his laws enforced and punishes people who defy him (i won't even bother listing examples here because he does it literally all the time).

one definition of justice is simply: the administration of the law or authority in maintaining this.

so, being Zeus' right-hand, i think Athena enforces justice by making sure people uphold Zeus' law. you might not agree with Zeus' justice... but justice has always been an arbitrary thing that depends on the eye of the beholder.

so i guess what i'm saying is, i associate justice with Athena because it combines the wisdom of her mother Metis with the law and order brought by her father Zeus. to me, the enforcement of justice is just the natural by-product.

secondly, even if hand of justice or whatever else isn't one of Athena's canonical epithets, i think it makes sense given the role she often plays in myth.

heroes are supposed to be people who display noble, idyllic traits; people to be inspired by. as the patron of heroes, i think Athena must have heroic traits herself... i think this includes being just.

in the Iliad, she fights on the side of the Achaeans.. sure this is largely because Paris slighted her by choosing Aphrodite as the prettiest, but i also think, symbolically, it was the Achaeans who had been disrespected by having their guests defy the laws of xenia and kidnapping their Queen... so from this perspective, i'd argue that Athena acts as a hand of justice in punishing the Trojans for their crime.

now i know many people don't like Ovid's writings because they were written a bit later, BUT, in the myth of Arachne, i believe Ovid's version is the only full (?) source of the myth, and in this one, again, Athena serves as a force of justice when she punishes Arachne for her hubris in both challenging Athena and daring to depict the faults of the gods (hubris may not seem like that big of a deal to us, but would be a big big no no to a god).

anyways so yeah. i hope this clarifies for you how i came to develop Athena as "justice is number one" kind of character! feel free to disagree, but this is how i think of her in my head :)

also, i must restate: being "just" is subjective.

[arctic-shard]

Decided to just do the OC ask thing for Dr West anyway, because I threw my back out and need to entertain myself somehow. :p

1. What memory would your OC rather just forget? - West is pretty emphatic about not wanting to erase any of her memories. 035 offered to erase a traumatic memory once and she refused it.

2. What's something about your OC that people wouldn't expect just from looking at them? - She's 5'2", over forty and looks her age, and has the resting bitch face and wardrobe of a librarian who hates everyone personally and not in a sexy way. She's also a bi disaster who fucks a lot.

3. What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw? - West is absolutely certain that she has to do everything on her own, that no one will help her if she asks, to the point of disbelieving when people say that they want to help. I think on some level she knows that this is self-destructive, but she's too combative to stop herself.

4. When scared, does your OC fight, flee, freeze or fawn? - I don't know what she used to do, but she's trained herself to fight.

5. How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want? - She has literally died to get what she wants. She stormed Alagadda armed with nothing but determination. She fist-fought the Yellow Lord ( and lost badly. ) West will do whatever it takes, whatever the odds, even though her plans are usually pretty bad.

6. How easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass? - West is an ex-Foundation researcher. What moral compass? Is it For Science? Does it Secure, Contain, or Protect? If yes, then it's probably fine.

7. What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them? - She's actually got a backstory. I didn't bother when I first came up with her, since I intended to only write one fic with her and her background wasn't real important to it.

8. Would your OC ostensibly be able to get away with murder? - She's an SCPverse character. She has committed various murders and it has been treated as generally Fine.

9. Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC? - From the beginning, it's always been Heart's Alone: "'Til now, I always got by on my own / I never really cared until I met you / And now it chills me to the bone."

10. What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC? - West is too much a product of the SCPverse to really work in an AU.

11. What is your OC's weapon of choice? Have they ever actually used it? - She has a death-touch. However, her go-to in a fight is shin-kicking.

12. Is your OC self-destructive? In what ways? - She assumes that everyone considers her a bitch so she preemtively pushes people away. Also she keeps throwing herself into fights above her weight-class despite having zero skill at combat.

13. If you met your OC, would the two of you get along? - Maybe. We'd either hate each other or bond over psych issues.

14. How does your OC want to be seen by other characters? - Competant. Professional. Gets results. For 049 and 035 specifically, she also wants to be seen as loveable and wanted.

15. Does your OC have a faceclaim? If so, who? - Nope. I draw, I don't cast.

16. What is your OC's pain tolerance like? - About average for a forty-plus woman.

17. What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise? - Readers are probably going to say Odious trying to assault her, but I think Geirr's stalking was the worst thing. It went on for longer and it left deeper psychological wounds because West never really got help for it after. With Odious, West had 049 and 035 supporting her and helping her in the aftermath.

18. Is your OC more cold and detached or up close and personal? - It depends. She usually acts cold and detached because she generally wants to give off that impression, but if there're enough emotions involved, good or bad, she'll get into your space.

19. How does your OC behave when enraged? - Again, depends on the circumstances. If it's a job thing, she goes icy and argumentative. If its a physical threat, she fights.

20. Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest? - Weirdly, she doesn't seem to get jealous in relationships. She does get professionally jealous when significantly younger scientists have more rank or higher clearances than her, since West had spent her entire adult life working for the Foundation and didn't get the recognition she felt she deserved.

21. Does your OC have any illnesses or disorders? How do they handle it? - West's got whatever psych and anger issues come from being overlooked and feeling unwanted and like she's the only one she can rely on for like forty years. She generally handles it by bottling up and seething. She has a Foundation-issued therapist but they seem more interested in 'are you loyal to the Foundation?' than 'are you happy?'

22. What character alignment would you consider your OC to be? - West would insist she's Lawful Neutral. I think she's well into True Neutral territory.

23. What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express? - Process? Probably anger. She hasn't really got any acceptable outlets for it. At best she turns it into spite and channels it into work. Express? Definitely wants and needs.

24. What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions? - West could have been the good little suburban wife and mother her parents wanted her to be, and then boiled with resentment until she ax-murders her husband. She could have taken her Engineering PhD and gone into a mundane engineering job. She could have decided to give up and play by the rules and never start talking to 049 secretly. Basically, every other path is 'follow the rules, do what you're supposed to do, be ignored, be miserable.' It's not all sunshine and roses the way it is now, but at least she knows what happiness can feel like.

25. What is your favorite thing about your OC? - She's bitter, experienced, and most of all, proactive. West makes the choices she's not given, the ones she's not supposed to make. Sometimes they're bad choices, but she follows through with everything she's got.

[lastthroes]

i really don't think that my issue with the eizen sq is that eizen dies. sure, i'm biased towards wanting to see my favorite characters earn their happy endings, but most of my favorite tales characters die through the canon so eizen isn't special. i think it's more about how that's a huge point of conflict and drama with an extremely underwhelming resolution that i'd dare say borders character assassination for other characters (ie sorey) because of its execution, because would it really be a yamamoto game if "character assassination for the sake of following the script" wasn't a thing in it? this was literally x2's bread and butter

nothing changes if you use edna in that battle or not, except maybe one or two throwaway lines like "now is the time" (i'm not 100% sure right now and i can't be bothered to go back to an old save and defeat him twice for a post right now). it's a stark difference from fighting van with luke and tear in abyss, for putting an example. there's no new scene, new dialogue, new music, nothing. for how much eizen was hyped through promotion and in the actual game, the resolution he gets is one of the blandest things i've seen in this franchise

if i think about zelos and seles, or senel and shirley and i don't know if asbel and hubert because i wasn't that good at japanese/english at the time and haven't replayed it yet going by my memories, i never felt as... scammed? as i did with eizen and edna. then again neither of those were hyped to that extent, nor are like edna, where her main drive is "saving her brother". this is literally the reason she joins at all, eizen is really most of her characterization

the eizen sidequest just came to me like the team with a killerboner striking again. i guess most people who were fine with it didn't get to go through this kind of disappointment before, but by the time zestiria was released i was already too fed up: besides hearts not being this hopeless for no reason (though i do find a certain death very contrived still), given when it came to what you could call its lore version of the issue of malevolence, zest didn't get to have the same number of emotional beats on the matter that previous games like x2 had (and take a shoot everytime someone, often lailah, brings up "don't feel things too much because you might fall malevolent" in the game about 'passion'). it came with the plotholes despite the larger dev cycle, but there was not enough given to make you... feel for it. i still felt something with x2 despite being some big bullshit writing-wise - when i saw alt milla falling into the abyss i felt something, and when i saw elle crying over victor's body or over the soup ludger made for her in the aftermath i felt something. i didn't have that with dezel or eizen's death, unless "being confused with the sudden infodumping" or "being confused at how it ended just like that and searching if i fucked up and missed something" counts, so it really just boils down to "i feel really scammed"

[miam0re]

Jealousy HeadCanons | Diluc, Kaeya, Albedo, Venti

Warning: Diluc-Rough sex, semi-public sex; Kaeya- teasing, hair pulling; Albedo- workplace sex; Venti- Public sex

Pairing: Diluc, Albedo, Kaeya, Venti X Fem!Reader (Separate)

Mia's Notes: Damn this took longer than expected lmao. I really wanted to include aether but we literally know nothing about his character. I might write some individual stuff about him though.. Anyways all these are what I think about the boys! Happy reading! Not proofread-

WC: 0.9 - 1.0 k per character

On a scale of 1 to 10, I personally feel he would fall at a 5 or 6. He doesn’t get jealous that easily because of how mature he is- he doesn’t feel that you talking to tavern patrons or bards is a reason for him to be jealous. They wouldn’t hinder your relationship in any way and Diluc knew that.

However, the one person who sparked the green monster in him and made his chest twist in irritation was Kaeya. Yes out of all the people in Mondstad, the cavalry captain was the one he was most wary of.

Of course, his caution was justified. Often Kaeya would visit the two of you at the bar and proceed to steal you away from Diluc the entire night.

“Sneaky bastard.” Diluc would mutter under his breath and continue tending to the patrons as if seeing you and Kaeya fairly alone didn’t bother him

His excuse is, “I’m just keeping your beautiful, lovely girlfriend company while you work. I’m sure she wouldn’t like to be alone, that too in a bar where drunkards don’t know their limits.” He would wink at the red-haired bartender just to piss him off.

And don’t get me started on the way Kaeya would brush his hand over yours, or ruffle your hair playfully- all with friendly intentions, knowing you were well taken and happy in your current relationship with Diluc. Both Kaeya and you knew that his goal here was to just piss off Diluc.

And it was working really well. But Diluc wasn’t one to outright show his jealousy. He had an image to maintain and of course, what good would it do to throw a tantrum?

If he did express himself, he would definitely give Kaeya a reason to bother him further, and Diluc didn’t want to taint his dignity.

However when Kaeya pushed a strand of your hair behind your ear and called you “his cute little dum dum”, something snapped in him, the anger bubbling greater when you laughed at Kaeya, clearly just being polite.

Throwing his towel and apron at Charles, diluc circled the counter until he towered over your seated figures.

“Kaeya, doesn’t the cavalry captain have duties to attend to in the morning? I think it would be wise for you to go and get some much-needed rest.” Diluc’s tone was flat, but the swirling in his eyes indicated something deeper.

“Alright, I guess I’m wanted no longer. We’ll catch up some other time Y/N.” He shot you a wink before shuffling out the tavern on his wobbly feet.

As you waved back and yelled out a goodbye, Diluc turned to you, eyes holding a fire in them, rarely ever seen.

“You, you’re coming with me.”

When jealous, sex with diluc becomes less of him wanting to show you affection and more of him pounding himself into you until all you can think about is him, forgetting about that dumb brother of his.

It’s like he’s trying to prove to you, that he’s so much better than every man that’s ever fucked you, and every man who wants to.

During jealous sex, he’s very verbal about what made him jealous, becoming an open book- so easy to read.

“Ahhh Diluc! Slow d-ahhh!” Your sobs and moans came out broken as you laid flat against a table in the basement with Diluc in between your legs. With every impalement of his dick in your slipper cunt, you shook violently on the table causing it to squeak in rhythm. You screamed loud enough to be heard by the patrons above, if not for their loud chatter and the bard’s music.

“That…stupid cavalry captain. You had no need…to be nice to him. Yet…you can’t help being sweet huh?” Diluc scoffed, jealousy fuelling him to dig his nails deeper into the plush of your thighs and drive deeper into you.

You blabbered dumbly, hands flailing around to find something to grasp onto, eventually settling on the lapels of Diluc’s jacket.

“Mmmm Diluc- kiss me..” You moaned desperately, tugging on his clothes. He huffed out a breath and released one of your thighs to grab your chin and smash his mouth onto yours, eating out all your sounds in a sloppy kiss, ignoring the light hints of alcohol on your tongue.

When he pulled away, your expression was completely dazed and drunk because of him. “Mmm love you.” You muttered, biting your knuckles to stop the moans from coming out of you since Diluc increased his pace to chase his orgasm.

When he felt like he was ready to spill, his mouth latched to your bare shoulder as he bit down, moaning loudly in harmony with your scream. A thick rope of his cum gushed into your orgasming cunt, fluids mixing together deliciously.

“I love you too. You’re mine. My gorgeous Love. No stupid man can take you away from me.”

Once the two of you come down for your high and finally Diluc comes back to his senses, his face tints a deeper red, out of pure embarrassment.

He would help you sit up and dress but would hang his head low the entire time, avoiding your gaze.

To get him to talk to you, you would have to grab his face and bring him in for a kiss. He’d positively melt into your embrace and return your kiss, hugging you tight.

“I am sorry, Love. It seems that I got carried away.” He’d mumble, brushing his thumb over the hickey on your neck.

“Apology accepted, but on the condition that you admit you got jealous of Kaeya.” You giggle and nudge his arms as he groans and rests his head on your shoulder.

“There is no way I am admitting to such foolish feeling.”

Kaeya gives off 9 out of 10 jealousy vibes. Yes, he trusts you infinitely, he knows that you love him and only him, but he has a complex where he just can’t stand other people talking to you and stealing your attention. Very possessive boy we have here.

Honestly, it doesn’t even have to be other men trying to court you to get him to be jealous. You spending more time with your friends over him makes him pout like a kicked puppy. He can’t help it! He’s addicted to you

Lisa, as we all know, loves tea, and you along with Jean happened to be her favourite test subjects. Whenever she had a new brand of tea delivered to her home, her first response would be to invite the two of you over immediately.

Saying that Kaeya was lowkey jealous of how often you went to tea with them was an understatement. He was your boyfriend! All of your free time and attention is supposed to be his!

Also, Lisa was too comfortable around you. Kaeya knew that you had no interest in her, and only saw her as a friend and colleague, he couldn’t help but scoff at how touchy Lisa would be with you.

If he ever happened to accidentally stumble into the cafe you all spent time in (that’s a lie, he overheard the three of you making plans and scheduled his day according) he would wave at you in mock surprise and sit with you guys, interrupting your conversation with his nonsense.

Lisa would sometimes pipe in between. “Oh cutie, you have a little something on your lip. Let me help.” Humph, Kaeya could have done that for you instead.

Ah and then there are the days when you dress better than usual. So stunning, so hot, so…not for him?

“Well hello there darling. Are you wearing such a beautiful outfit to impress me?” His arms wrapped around your torso as you adjusted your make-up. You could see his wide smirk and impure intentions in the mirror.

You chuckled and patted his head, giving him an apologetic kiss. “Sorry to disappoint Love, but I’m dressed up to go meet Lisa and Jean.”

His smile fell and blue eye stared into your reflection. He’d stick his lower lip out dramatically. “You’re always hanging out with them. What about me?” He’d whine, hugging you tighter.

Even after hearing his desperation, you continued with your routine. “I know, I’m sorry, but Lisa has this new dandelion tea which she wanted us to try. I’ll try to come early tonight.” You turned to kiss his lips briefly before heading to the door.

Suddenly you’re pinned against the oak wood, a gasp escaping your lips as you stare into your lover’s eyes.

“You’re sorry right? Why don’t you show me how much?” His attempts to seduce you weren’t in vain as you whimpered under his intense gaze.

“But Lisa..” You mumbled.

“Lisa can wait a little while, can’t she?”

Jealousy sex with Kaeya is mostly him taking back your attention, but making you do all the work; after all, you’re the one apologising to him.

It’s him showing you that he’s the only one who deserves to be focused on, and you best forget about everyone else because nobody can make you happy the way he can.

He’ll be so vocal about how better he is than everyone else and how bad he wants to hold you all the time. He’s obsessed with you, and by the way he’s screwing you, you gotta admit you’re obsessed too.

Tell him how amazing he is and maybe he’ll pound into you a bit harder.

“M sorry, Kaeya. Sorry.” You whimpered into his shoulder. He chuckled and ran his fingers over your hips, grabbing you and lifting you, only to drop you back on his cock. You threw your head back and moaned loudly, grinding on Kaeya’s hip, feeling the friction of his dick against your walls.

“Mmm pretty girl. Doesn’t that dress look better on the floor? Isn’t it better to sit on my dick and ride me rather than sit on some boring chair in a cafe and talk boring things with Lisa?” He teased, reaching up to nibble your earlobe.

You tried to gather your words into a comprehensible sentence but all that came out of your slack jaw was pleads to feel him more.

“Come on babe, I know you can move better. Aren’t you trying to show me how sorry you are?” Kaeya’s mocking words went right to your core as you nodded dumbly. Taking hold of his shoulder and rolling your hips on top of his roughly. Kaeya couldn’t help but bite his lip at the sight in front of him- your completely fucked out face with mascara stains running down your cheeks, lipstick smudged from how much you both had been kissing, and how his dick disappeared into your body whenever you moved around.

“Kaeya…” You moaned out, dropping your mouth against his to cover your lewd sounds. He took this as a sign of your nearing orgasm so he tugged your hair and pulled you away so that he could see your erotic expressions.

“Tell me you love me while you cum all over me.” He smirked, keeping your head in that perfect position.

“I love you so much, Kaeya! Fuck- So so much!” You practically scream, gushing over his dick. Hearing your sweet high pitched voice, Kaeya felt his own orgasm flow through him and into your slick covered cunt. You slumped into his lap, savouring the warmth of him and his liquids in you.

“My gorgeous darling. Apology accepted. Love you.”

Post sex, it will be his turn to apologise, for making you miss tea time with Lisa and Jean.

But his apology is far from genuine. Will apologize with more kisses and attempts to start round two.

“Can’t believe you did that out of jealousy.” You huff as he peppered kisses over your naked shoulder as you cuddled in bed, giving great attention to the hickies.

“Jealous? Me? Not a chance. I was just horny.”

He’s too focused on his Alchemy to be jealous, it is surprising he even landed a girlfriend like you. Gonna give him a 3 out of 10 on the jealousy scale.

He isn’t exactly human so his jealousy is quite less than what you would imagine it to be, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t get an uncomfortable tightness in his chest when you’re with someone else.

Most of the time, because of how busy he is, you’d talk to his apprentices-Sucrose and Timaeus- and soon enough, you three were an inseparable trio.

Albedo was glad they liked you so much that you were practically glued. How adorable.

But with every passing day you spent lesser time looking over Albedo’s shoulder and asking him the simplest questions about his work. He felt a cold emptiness, where your warmth usually was.

“How peculiar…” Albedo thought out loud when he suddenly started missing you again. Shaking his head, he went back to work.

Right as he put a period mark to end his entry, he heard the door open and your sweet laughter echo through the room.

His heart beat faster as he turned around to greet you, smile falling when he saw that you had an arm slung over Sucrose and Timaeus, all of you looking bubbly and happy. His frown twitched at the sight.

“Thank you for such a wonderful time Y/N. That travelling circus was a pleasure to watch.” Timaeus grinned as you pulled away from them and walked to your statue like boyfriend, giving him a quick side hug before walking away.

“The travelling circus?” Albedo asked slowly.

“Yes. Y/N treated us to a show and it was wonderful! You should have come with us Mr.Albedo” Sucrose exclaimed and talked on about it to Timaeus. Well Albedo really did want to go, but work came first.

Anyways none of it mattered now that he’d get to spend some time with you. He may have not been the most affectionate, but whenever he was, he would give you all the love he could.

When he turned to loop his arms around your waist and pull you into a longer hug, he noticed how you still had your boots on. Usually you’d change into your comfortable slippers that you left in his locker by now��

“Love we’ll be back by evening alright? I have to show Timaeus around Springvale.” You kissed Albedo on the cheek and walked towards Timaeus.

Albedo was observant; observant enough to notice the way Timaeus’s cheeks coloured and how he twiddled his thumb as you approached him. Did…he have feelings for you?

Having had enough of you not spending time with him, Albedo grabbed your wrist.

“Y/N, could you possibly change your plans for the day? I wish to discuss something important with you?” You tilted your head in confusion, but Sucrose was quick to catch on. “Don’t worry Y/N! I can show him around!” And as quick as the wind, the two of them vanished.

Now back to your boyfriend and you. “What is it Albedo?” You asked, slightly worried about what’s to happen.

“It’s just…You’ve been away for a while…” Albedo murmured, trying to control the warmth rising to his cheeks.

He was so obvious, you couldn’t stop your little grin. “Albedo, are you jea-Mmmph!” Your words were cut off when he kissed you.

Jealousy sex with Albedo is him craving your attention, loving you and showing you how much he desires you. His jealousy stems from his love for your presence, even though he himself doesn’t realise how important you are for him.

“I missed you.” Albedo hissed as he had you bent over his workbench, screwing you from behind. Your arms ached at the way he had them crossed behind your back and trapped with his fingers, rubbing soft circles on your wrists.

You were barely able to talk between your sniffles and sob, so Albedo decided to continue, words barely audible over the sound of skin slapping against skin. “You should spend more time with me. You always hang out -fuck- hang out with the other two. Have your forgotten about me?” He groans when your walls clamp around his dick, squeezing him tight.

“Mm Bedo…” you whined and hiccuped, feeling your knees weaken further with ever push of his hips into yours. His dick glided beautifully into yours and prodded at your cervix, making you jolt under him. “Ahhh Bedo! I love you! All yours…” Mind gone blank under the intensity of his movements, all you could do was chant out his name.

He smirked at the sight, feeling a sense of pride and contentment. He leaned over your shoulder and kissed your lips, mixed saliva dribbling down your chin from the sloppy action of his. He practically took your breath away, with his hard thrusts and heart racing kisses.

“Bedo…wanna cum..” You mumbled against his lips as he hummed in response.

"Then cum." Grabbing your hips and leaving your arms free, he slammed into you a final time, the two of you coming undone in synchronised euphoria.

Once done, he would hold you in his lap on one of the chairs and rub away your running tears, soothing you.

“I love you Y/N. I missed you.” He pouted and kissed your reddened wrists.

You sighed and placed a kiss on his forehead. “I’ll spend more time with you, promise. Were you really jealous about that?”

“I supposed so, but none of that matters now.” He smiled and pulled you in for a kiss.

Venti is pretty jealous, a good 7 out of 10. Being worshipped as the Anemo archon by the people of Mondstad has really boosted this man’s ego.

Being the lover of an archon is quite a challenge given how often he isn’t around, busy doing his little to nothing archon duties.

When he’s gone, you would spend your time with the knights of Favonius, being one of them. You were great friends with Kaeya, loving him for his silly nature.

Venti was not happy. He knew he wasn’t around most of the time but that doesn’t mean you should replace him!

And how preposterous! You started going to the tavern with Kaeya! Venti is supposed to be your drinking buddy!

Venti pouted when he entered the tavern and saw you laughing away with Kaeya, talking about God knows what. Wait..he didn’t know..

Anyway, Venti isn’t shy to show everyone that you’re his. His jealousy is written on his forehead with a stark black marker for everyone to see.

“Good evening, My Love.” Venti sauntered towards you, seating himself in the free seat beside you and tilting your face to plant a kiss on your red lips.

The traces of dandelion wine lingering on your lips made the kiss even sweeter. But short-lived was the moment when you pulled away. “Hi sweetheart.” You blushed and hid your face in his chest.

He wrapped his arms around you and then caught Kaeya’s eye, sending him a naughty smirk. “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t know we had company. Didn’t notice you.” Venti huffed out.

Kaeya laughed and wasn’t ready to back down, raising his mug towards the bard. “All is forgiven. How bout a round of drinks? It’s on me.” Who was Venti to say no to free alcohol?

A few drinks later, Venti was drunk. Super drunk. But Kaeya kept his composure even though he himself was feeling slightly tipsy. Trying to impress you it seems.

“Oh Venti, you know you can’t handle your alcohol.” You sigh as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and leans on you for support, babbling about how he wasn’t drunk and desired more.

The next words you spoke made him snap his head in your direction with a scowl on his face.

“You should be like Kaeya, he’s careful with his alcohol.” Of course, you meant that lightly and didn’t mean to attack the bard in any way BUT HE WAS ATTACKED AND HE WAS GOING TO ATTACK BACK

He scoffed at Kaeya who chuckled at your word. “Aw is the bard jealous of my alcohol tolerance.” Kaeya patted Venti’s beret, much to his irritation.

“Come on Y/N. Let’s go home now. I wanna go home.” Venti pouted and pulled you out of the tavern, sending a stern look to the knight he left behind. Kaeya just smirked in return.

“Venti slow down. Wait AHHH” Before you could speak any further, Venti picked you up and using his archon abilities, launched you both into the air, carefully landing by the tree in Windrise.

“I’m so much better than Kaeya.” Venti didn’t let you defend yourself, resorting to undressing you and pinning you to the tree.

Jealousy sex with Venti is hard and fast, him trying to feed his ego by hearing you scream out his name. Scream out his name for everyone else to hear.

Cheeky words praising himself and you would slip from his lips throughout as he shows you that you’re all his.

“Let me hear you say my name,” Venti grunted as he pressed you further against the bark of the tree, curving your back perfectly. He squeezed your ass and felt pride at the way you whimpered and dug your fingernails into the wood. Such a beautiful sight, all for him to see.

“Venti...Venti!” You moaned loudly, throwing your head back against his shoulder, hips grinding into the tree with his thrusts. You knew that your stomach would be covered in scratches and thorns from the tree but you couldn’t care right now, sole attention on Venti taking you from behind and your juices running down your legs.

He grabbed your face from behind, looking at your glossy eyes. Smiling, he brushed his lips on yours, hearing you whine for more than a peck. “Could Kaeya ever do something like this?” He slurred, still being high on alcohol.

“Mm n-no. Only you can fuck me like this.” Your words had his dick twitching in your gummy walls, stirring him to pound deeper and faster until you were screaming for any passerby to hear.

Venti’s name rolled off your tongue like a mantra and he couldn’t get enough of your sweet sounds along with your warmth sucking in his dick.

“Oh my sweet flower, take in all of my cum like a good girl.” His hand circled your body to play with your breasts. You moaned out a yes, bending forward to prepare for his load.

And with a few slaps of his dick into you, he was unleashing all of his ejaculate into you, plugging you until you stopped shaking from your shared orgasm.

Afterwards, venti will continue to praise the both of you, cuddling you under the tree and wrapping his cape around your naked figure.

“You’re so perfect for me, My Love. And you’re made for me. Perfection for perfection.” He declared, enjoying your sweet giggles.

“You’re so full of yourself venti.” You softly aim to smack his shoulder but he grabs your wrist, kissing the delicate skin.

“Isn’t it more accurate to say…you’re full of me, My Love?”

[guardianspirits13]

I wanna talk about Natsuo Todoroki for a second here.

tw// mentions of abuse, self harm, and suicide

Natsuo visibly has the most emotional trauma out of anyone else in his family (Touya not included), and I really wanna talk about why that is.

For starters, we haven't seen him really smile since he was introduced in chapter 187. He's introduced as having a friendly, easygoing persona and it's easy to imagine this is how most people outside of his family know him. However, every time we see him appear since then, another layer of his trauma is revealed and expanded upon, and it cuts DEEP.

I think the main reason that Natsuo still seems so vulnerable compared to the rest of his family is different than what you'd assume. Fuyumi and Shouto both spend a lot of time around Endeavor, and have been in close proximity to his (relatively recent) decision to atone. They have seen his growth firsthand and come to terms with it. Rei has obviously taken a very different path to healing- not entirely voluntarily- but she has been working with doctors and therapists for years to change and recover and reconnect with herself and her children. Natsuo is off at college, and takes every opportunity he can to avoid Endeavor. He (understandably) wants nothing to do with him, and shows stagnant resistance to his attempts to atone.

The reason why Natsuo can't move on from the past is because his trauma didn't come from Endeavor. It came from Touya.

Now initially we were led to believe that it was simply Touya's untimely death that still bothers Natsuo, and it makes sense seeing how Endeavor drove him to the edge. Losing his best friend and brother as a young kid without parents to support him or any therapist to speak of can absolutely been the source of persistent emotional damage, but the more and more we learn about Touya's situation, the more evident it becomes that Natsuo's trauma is much much deeper than even grief.

Touya, as we know, was driven by an ambition instilled in him by his father and experienced extreme rejection sensitivity when those ambitions were no longer realistic. Touya's relationship with his parents could be described as insecure attachment, a psychological term primarily regarding how kids react and respond to their parents and other close relationships. As he was raised, Touya learned to equate his potential to be a hero with his personal worth and similarly confounded attention with love. The difference being, of course, that love is unconditional, but even attention was being continually directed away from him as a punishment for continuing to train and burn himself so he could once again become worthy in his fathers' eyes.

This is where Natsuo comes in. At first it was assumed that all of the Todoroki children were born out of Endeavor's strong-willed desire to have a child that could surpass All Might, but we learned that this isn't exactly the case. I'd argue that it was narratively poetic on Horikoshi's part once this was expanded upon. Fuyumi was born to support and encourage her brother, and that is the exact role she plays 23 years later, keeping her family together.

Natsuo's case is even more intersting.

It was bad enough if Natsuo was only born for the potential of his quirk, but it's even more sinister that the sole intent behind his birth was to discourage Touya from his ambitions. I'd say it was to replace him, but it was more to promote the idea that Touya was expendable than to raise aonther kid with the same ideals but the potential to actually achieve it, although that was definitely a secondary motivation.

The parallelism in this is how much Natsuo's life revolves around Touya. He was born because of Touya, he looked up to and took care of Touya as a kid, and the absence of Touya in the present continues to drive him and his decisions in life (but more on that later).

I continue to pray that we will eventually get more solid backstory on Natsuo and Touya's relationship as kids and where it cut off, wether on a bad note or not, but there are a few things we know for certain. One, Touya was mentally ill. Yes, he was rejected by his parents but he seems to have been particularly vulnerable to this compared to any of his siblings since he was the first of them and thus relied only on his parents for validation in his early years. He shows early signs of a variety of different mental disorders, particularly BPD, which I have previously written a whole analysis for on its own. Touya is shown self-harming both by the very nature of his quirk and even by very directly ripping his hair out. He was incredibly self-destructive.

This is why it is so much more concerning to me that Natsuo, who was AT LEAST four years younger than him, was his primary source of comfort. Natsuo was too young to have known anything more than 'my big brother is sad that daddy won't train him anymore' and he obviously wasn't equipped in any way to handle Touya's severe mental illness. Touya most definitely needed professional treaatment as his forms of coping were abnormal even for the neglect and rejection that he experienced. Natsuo comforted Touya through breakdown after breakdown, and more than that Touya relied on him and came to him voluntarily for support. Natsuo was the best option he had, and he took full advantage of that. The main source of Natsuo's trauma was Touya's reliance on him.

Not to say at all that this was in any way Touya's fault- he was mentally ill and desperately in need of some form of comfort to keep him sane; it was almost a survival method at this point since neither of his parents really acknowleged him at all anymore. Touya's instability hurt Natsuo more than parental neglect ever did, but it was the neglect that enabled it and striped Touya of the supportive atmosphere he would have needed at this point not only to prevent but to heal from the mental damage he had already suffered.

Natsuo dealt with this for years and you can see how much it hurt him to see Touya in so much pain, not only from Endeavor's rejection but from his own self harm as well. For Natuso to know that his brotherly love would never be the same as having loving parents; would neve be enough- but at least it was something so he continued to love and care about his brother for little in return- is indicative of the kind of character he is.

(Edit: After the events of chapter 302 we know that Natsuo's relationship with Touya wasn't perfect. I will elaborate more on this in a different post, but I just wanted to clarify that although we were shown a very high-tension scene between them, it is implied that this was a regular occurrence that Natsuo was usually more receptive too but tired out of, in addition to Touya's spiraling mental health. It fit with the natrative to show the tension Touya was feeling with his family from all directions, but Natsu and Touya clearly had a stronger relationship up to and before this point, evidenced by their sharing a room and playing together regularly.)

He is incredibly selfless, and it's interesting to note how many of his positive qualities as an adult stem from negative experiences as a kid. He never really felt love from his parents, so he relied on Touya (and likely also Fuyumi) for that as well. If he grew up learning he had to give love in order to recieve it back, it absolutely influenced who he became in the future, a solid example of this being the responsibility he feels to reach out and have a relationship with Shouto and further regrets that he wasn't able to help his abuse in the past either. Another aspect of his character that intruigues me is how gentle he is. Personality-wise he seems about as opposite as he could be from the awkward, stoic, emotionally-stunted person that is Endeavor.

There are a couple of reasons for this, beyond what I've already discussed.

One, he had little to no contact with elements of toxic masculinity growing up, especially not from Endeavor.

Two, most of the influence he did have growing up was from Fuyumi, who is established to have endlessly cared for him since he was a literal baby.

Three, he grew up in a household where almost everyone around him was in much more literal, immediate pain than he was so he developed a very strong sense of empathy that might also have been tied to early survivor's guilt.

Now I have one important distinction to make, and that's the temptation to label him as a 'softboy' or something of the like after seeing him caring for his family and more pointedly, watching him break down in tears during chapter 252. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with men being soft or vulnerable (on the contrary it's actually so so important and relevant that Hori is writing characters like this in a mainstream shounen manga but that's an essay for another time), it is unfair to label him as such based on a moment when his trauma is being exposed.

Because his truama stems from such a young age, there is a blurry line between just being born with more emotional intelligence and the situation he was in fostering those traits. You know, the classic nature/nurture thing. My point being, it's important to tread carefully when discussing the nature of his personality to avoid invalidating his trauma; I have no doubt that he is very strong for having survived these things, and the moments we see of him onscreen are definitely among his most vulnerable.

Another thing that people less familiar with Natsuo's character might assume is that he is hot-headed and argumentative. I thought that at first too- after all, he doesn't seem to shy away from yelling at Endeavor when given the opportunity. However, this doesn't seem to be the case at all.

The first real scene we see him in with Endeavor, the man walks into the room and Natsuo decides he can't handle it and goes to leave. However, Endeavor happens to be blocking the doorway. Endeavor physically stops him and provokes him to his face, asking him to say whatever is on him mind. While Natsuo is notably not confrontational, Endeavor is. I think it's fair to say that he felt at least uneasy at this gesture. Natsuo is very honest with his feelings, and it's obvious that he's pissed at the audacity of Endeavor to be so oblivious to his own son. This is presumably one of the first real interactions they've ever really had, and at this point Natsuo has been dealing with trauma (caused by Endeavor!) on his own for years, and Endeavor seems completely oblivious to his pain and dismmisive to the rest of the family's as well.

Again during the internship arc Natsuo tries to get along with Endeavor and this time he actually gives it a fleeting chance. Tensions are high, however, and the conversation very quickly becomes uncomfortable, at which point he leaves. It is continually implied that Natsuo is uncomfortable being around Endeavor because his very presence brings up painful thoughts and memories of a time when sharing the same space as him was a warning to run and hide. This is later directly confirmed by Natsuo as he says that every time he looks at Endeavor's face he remembers Touya and the pain he was in.

I feel like an important side note is that we have never seen Natsuo outside the context of his family, which is understandable, as the role he plays in the story directly relates to them. However, if you take a look at Shouto, even though his experiences have shaped him to become who he is, he definitely acts differently when Endeavor's not in the vicinity.

Back to Touya's death, it would be very rare that someone would mourn a death for an entire decade without finding closure unless there are other factors preventing it, and uncomfortably this seems to be the same thing for both Natsuo and Endeavor: guilt.

This is getting incredibly long already, but it's important to note that Natsuo probably felt an incredible responsibility to take care of Touya and protect him because of his empathetic nature. His love was never going to be the same as having loving parents. His encouragement was never going to be the same as having support from Endeavor. Even further than then neglect and abandonement, it was not being able to save Touya that really made Natsuo feel worthless.

He seems to try and remedy this inability to save Touya and diminish his guilt by doing everything he can to be better. He reaches out to Shouto to be a better brother, he consistently pushes his limits to entertain Fuyumi's notion of a happy family, and he's working hard towards a degree rhat will allow him to help people like Touya (and Rei) because he failed to do so in the past.

His bio mildly implies that he didn't have much of a direction he was heading in after high school, but Fuyumi's encouragement led him to seek out his current college career. This goes back to Natsuo's 'purpose' in a sense revolving arount Touya, from his birth to his relationship with him to his death, after which he lost his direction. They were always rather inseperable, so naturally their seperation hit Natsuo hard. He lost his direction in life so when Fuyumi encouraged him to rediscover it, he thought of helping people, because that's ultimately what he was born to do.

Thank you so, so much for reading this if you made it to the end! I clearly have a lot of thoughts on this. Let me know what you think about it as well, and hopefully we'll get more info on this soon in the manga :)

[belphies-cuhm-sluht]

hello! ♥️ could i request the demon bros reacting to an mc that likes to do topless at the beach? like it’s her usual go-to and she doesn’t even think about it when she removes her bikini bra (also if you happen to get an idea for any of the “undateables” that would be very cool, but since i’ve read you don’t write for them, i’m obviously not requesting it hehe (and obvi not luke!!!)) i love your hcs!! 🥰

Brothers Reactions To F!MC Who Likes To Go Topless At The Beach (SLIGHT NSFW)

Lucifer

When you started untying the back of your bikini top he was slightly suspicious, but then just thought that you didn’t want any tan lines. People don’t like tan lines, apparently they’re unappealing or whatever. He didn’t really mind it, but then the whole top came off and he almost choked on his own spit, quickly walking over to you (because he didn’t want to make a scene, it would just draw more attention to your uncovered breasts) and wrapping a towel around your body. No one gets to look at you but him.

“Darling, it would be wise of you not to do such things unless… you’d like to go somewhere more private?”

Mammon

He had already ran into the water, leaving you behind at the towel, so he was none the wiser when you had taken off your top. Of course, when he heard the hollering and the cat calling from the men on the beach he immediately turned his head. Not because he thought it was for you, but you know, it was a just in case thing. He’d have to show those men whose you were if they were calling for you. He wasn’t expecting to see you running towards the shore topless, and his eyes almost fell out of his head as he watched you. It took him a second to actually start moving, but once he did, he was screaming. He definitely caused a scene and everyone was looking now, but he wasn’t even worried about that. He was pressed up against your back, his hands placed firmly on your breasts to create a sort of shield. Flustered doesn’t even begin to describe how he’s feeling as he walks you back to the umbrella.

“Ya can’t just go flashin’ yerself all over the beach, babe! All those guys are lookin’ at ya!”

Leviathan

Already in the ocean 2.0. He knew you’d be coming in after him, and he promised to show you all the marine life when you got in. His assumption was just that you were applying sunscreen, which he was totally okay with, the sun was dangerous and you needed to be protected from its harmful rays. He was still under the water when he saw your feet step in, slowly moving closer to where he was. It would be fun to pop up and scare you, and that’s exactly what he decided to do, swimming closer and closer until he got to your feet, popping up and immediately screeching. Your breasts… they were in his face, straight on, he was making eye contact with your nipples and he wanted to die. Not because they were bad or anything but… boobs. He’ll quickly pull you under the water when he realizes everyone is looking at the two of you because of his screeching, his mind focusing on literally anything but the boner that’s slowly growing in his swim trunks.

“I-I how… what are we… how did you… Where is your top at, Y/N?!”

Asmodeus

Pfft, you think he’s bothered? You think he’s fazed? Absolutely not. He will help you take your top off. If anyone looks? Let them. He knows you’re beautiful, of course you are, everything about you is beautiful. He loves the way your bare chest looks in the sun, and obviously he’s staring, but it's out of love, he just adores you so much. Also, he’ll definitely try to drop his own shorts because he doesn’t want tan lines either, although Lucifer will stop him. It’s one thing for you to have your breasts showing, no one's gonna complain about that. It’s a whole different thing to have Asmo’s pasty cheeks reflecting the sun back at people. Still, he doesn’t mind it, he’ll even help rub the sunscreen on you, all over you, in the most sensual way possible.

“Oh Y/N, you look absolutely breathtaking. Your tan is going to be flawless!”

Satan

Oh hell no! See, he didn’t want you to wear a bikini in the first place. Not because you didn’t look good in one, quite the opposite actually. He knew you looked good in a bikini, and he was already worried that people were going to look at you. He would have much rather you wore a wetsuit, he didn’t want people to look at any part of your body, but you wanted to wear the two piece and as much as he wanted to say no, he just couldn’t say no to you. Now, here he was, his face in a book as he sat under the umbrella while you slowly undid the ties on your top. It took him a while to notice, but once he glanced over the top of his novel and saw your bare back, he let out a low growl, dropping his book to the side to move next to you in the sand, his hand slowly sliding up your back.

“Now, now, kitten. You’d better put that top back on, or I’ll have to show everyone on this beach who’s you are.”

Beelzebub

There was an ice cream stand on the beach, how awesome is that?! He, obviously, went to go get some ice cream for you and himself, not really expecting to see what he saw when he walked back over. You had just untied the back, your breasts being revealed to not only him, but the multitude of other men who were in eyeshot. Almost… ALMOST dropped his ice cream as he sprinted over to you, quickly shielding you with his entire body so no one could see you. If he wasn’t so worried about another man seeing what was his, he definitely would have gotten hard. He’ll definitely glare at anyone who even looks like they’re looking when they walk past, even after you get your top back on.

“Only I get to see those… okay? I don’t want anyone else to see you like that, Y/N.”

Belphegor

The beach was just another place to take a nap, let’s be fair. The sun on his back and the cool ocean breeze put him to sleep almost immediately. He didn’t need to be awake to sense your movements. The two of you were connected much deeper than that, plus, your movements would block the sun and turn the insides of his eyelids slightly darker depending on which way you moved. He heard the first catcall and shook his head, human men were disgusting sometimes. Then he heard more and he opened one eye, about to tell the men to shut up, until he noticed they were calling you. He was pissed at the men, but irritated with you for showing yourself off like that. He quickly pulled you to him, getting on top of you and laying against your chest.

“There are only two places where you being topless is acceptable and that’s in the shower and when you’re beneath me. Remember that, Y/N.”

[oitommothetease]

Invisible String (14/15)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female reader (Modern AU)

Word Count: 2.4k words

Warning : angst, sad reader, angry reader, dumbass Bucky, Steve being likable for once, smartass Sam, reader finally having some friends, mention of assault, confrontation, drinking, fluff, Bec is Bucky’s sister - Rebecca

Unlike you, Bucky remembered everything. He could never forget that you were hurt because of him — tied to a chair for hours while he couldn't save you — crying on the bathroom floor as he held you. The only thing common in all of those instances was him. You had to go through shit because of him, and yet, you still didn't blame him. You wrapped your arm around him as if he wasn't the cause of your pain. It was clear that his past and the baggage that he came with didn’t bother you. In fact, you understood and accepted his trauma and still loved him. You didn't love him despite his baggage. No, you loved him with every bad thing he offered.

Bucky was sure you were delusional. No sane woman would want to be with the man who was responsible for her captivity, yet you snuggled closer towards him the moment this thought occurred in his head. And Bucky loved you more because of that, and he thought he wasn't physically capable of loving you more than he already did. Bucky knew you reciprocated those feelings, it was very obvious that both of you were a goner for the other. Nevertheless, those emotions were not voiced out loud in your relationship yet. And Bucky wanted it to stay that way.

Bucky decided to sneak out of your bed and house before you could wake up. He was aware it was cowardly of him to just leave without giving you an explanation. But if he stayed to explain, you would have asked him to stay, and he didn't have it in himself to tell you no. You were the ray of sunshine in his stormy life and he could never say no to you. You could ask him to get you the sun, and he would get it for you, even after knowing that it would kill him and the humankind in the process. He would still do it.

But what he couldn’t do was refuse you, so he would have to leave you instead.

***

You woke up a bit disoriented, unaware of the surroundings you were in. It took you a minute to process that you were in your own house and not held captive. Once you came back to your senses instinctively you called for Bucky. He held you while you slept the previous night, so he had to be out in the kitchen. When no response came back, you went out to check for him, only to be met with an empty house.

When you tried to contact him, Bucky was distant. He didn’t respond to your texts and your mind was telling you that something was wrong, but you shoved those thoughts sideways, hoping that maybe he was busy with work. But you both went through something traumatic, you needed him to be with you. If he were busy, he could have at least texted you.

Well, if he was going to ignore you, then you wouldn't be one of those people whose life revolved around their partner. You had a book to write and ambitions that didn’t involve him. 

Two hours later, when there was no word from him, you stared at the blank  screen on your computer. You weren’t unfamiliar with writer's block, but it had been months and you haven't written a single line since the incident in the club involving Rumlow. And now that you were alone with your thoughts, you started doubting everything. Should you have stayed in that corporate 9 to 5 job? You'd have a stable life and a fixed salary. Maybe you could have even got a promotion. Should you have filed a complaint against Rumlow? Bucky wanted you to, he even assured you the cops would be on your side, but you just weren't ready. You realized that by choosing to remain silent, you were sending a predator out in the world. He could do that to other people and you could have stopped it.

A knock on the front door interrupted your train of thoughts and you were grateful for the person on the other side. You assumed it was Bucky, he didn’t need to buzz in because he literally owned the building. Well, it could also be any one of his friends. Sam and Steve also didn't need permission . And the other day when Peter came by to give you your phone (you left it in the club), he didn't buzz in either. 

Seeing Wanda, Peter and Pietro on the door was a good change and God, you needed a change or else you'd go mad with self-loathing. 

“We brought pizza,” Wanda exclaimed, lifting the bag in her hand to show you.

You didn't say anything, just smiled at them thankfully. You were really delighted they were here. Not only that, but you didn't have many friends here, and you considered your work friends, your only friends. It was nice to see that they saw you as a friend too and not just someone they work with.

“And beers,” Pietro chimed in, raising the carton in his hand. 

You looked at Peter before teasing, “Is he even legal, guys?”

Seeing you joke around with them made Wanda happy. Between all the testosterone, she truly needed a female friend, and she was relieved to see you treating them as friends rather than colleagues. And she understood the trauma that must haunt you since your kidnapping. She was an empath and when you didn’t show up at work, she grew worried. 

Half an hour later, most of you were on your second beer. Pietro was on his fourth. That man was fast at everything he did. A movie was playing in the background that none of you paid attention to while everyone was settled on your couch. It wasn't a very spacious couch, you were all squashed into it, but it was too comfortable to leave. You were sitting in between Peter and Wanda, while Pietro was situated beside his sister.

You forgot how nice it felt to have friends and bitch about people to them.

“And just like that he was gone. I woke up and he wasn't there,” you told them, “Hasn't been taking my calls either.”

Pietro took a sip of his drink before saying, “What an ass!”

Wanda raised her bottle, nudging all of you to join her, and said, “Fuck men!” 

“Amen!” you agreed, Peter and Pietro nodded too.

“You should focus on your book,” Pietro advised, “Bucky is gonna regret if he loses someone like you, babe.”

The book. Your book. You couldn't tell them why you weren't focused on the book. It was still a lot to process, and you were not ready, so you nodded before chanting, “Fuck Bucky!”

***

“What are you doing here?” Sam questioned as he and his husband entered the  office.

“Last I checked, I own this place.”

Sam huffed, “I meant why are you here instead of her place, smartass?”

Bucky looked around to avoid the questioning gaze of both Sam and Steve. He hadn’t talked to Steve since the argument they had over you. Of course, they did discuss business as usual, but nothing related to their personal life.

 “She doesn't need me,'' Bucky murmured and looked at Steve. “You must be pleased to know that it's over.”

Bewilderment was clear on the faces of both the men because Bucky exhaled loudly before continuing, “I almost got her killed. It would be wise and safe for her to not be with me.”

Steve finally spoke, “Did she say that?”

When his best friend shook his head ‘no’, Steve sighed in exasperation. “You are an idiot.”

“Yeah, well, that's what you wanted, didn't you?” Bucky retorted, “For me to focus on work and not on her.”

 “I was clearly wrong, pal,” Steve raised his hand in exasperation as if it was obvious, “And I’m sorry for that.” 

“Well, it's over now.”

***

“Before I met Nat. I dated a girl who pretended to be gay,” Wanda scrunched her nose, remembering the awful memory.

“Oh yeah, weird Sallie,” Pietro smiled teasingly, “Did you guys know that when Wanda brought her home, she hit on our dad?”

 “No!” Both you and Peter cried out, stupefied at his words.

“Yeah,” Wanda outlined, “And on Pietro too.”

 “I mean, Mr. Barnes is not like this,” Peter brought the conversation back to Bucky and you sucked in a heavy breath. “I’m sure he had a good reason for doing all of this.”

“Seriously?” you were pretty drunk, but not drunk enough to talk about Bucky. You looked at Wanda and Pietro for support, but they shrugged their shoulders in a manner that said, ‘He's not wrong, though.’

You wanted to go to bed and sleep. But you knew they were right. Bucky would never hurt you intentionally, you knew that. “Do you guys know where he is now?”

***

Since trying to talk some sense into Bucky wasn't working, Sam and Steve retaliated back to talk about business.

“Clint is officially out of here,” Steve reported, “Torturing him would just create more ruckus. Rumlow is behind us because he wants his weapons in the government, and Clint would just be a casualty in all this shit. He has three kids.”

Sam huffed, “We told Laura. Her wrath would be worse for Clint than our fists.”

Bucky didn't say anything and just nodded. Steve could feel something was on Bucky's mind, wrapping his arms to his chest, he raised a brow towards his best friend.

“I’m just tired of all of this,” Bucky said sadly, “Is this what we left Rumlow for, pal? You have a kid at home, Wanda has a wife, I have ma and Bec and I haven't met them in years, in fear of someone following me. And now — Well, now I’ve lost the girl too."

Steve and Sam looked at their friend with sympathy. They knew the toll their work took on all of them. Hell, they had a four-year-old daughter at home, and could barely sleep at night, always terrified of losing their kid because of their job.

Sam was about to ask Bucky to suggest an alternative that would help all of them could to make it out of there and just work on the club and not some shady business. Suddenly, the office door flung open and on purpose, everyone’s hand reached for the gun in their waistband. But in walked you with a beer bottle in your hand and a pizza slice in another.

“JAMES BUCKY BARNES!” You exclaimed, your steps wavering a little as you walked towards him. Oh, and you looked royally pissed.

Instantly, Bucky was on his feet and making his way towards you, to hold you — to be near you. And before you could say anything, he was engulfing his arms around your waist, his head settled at the crane of your neck and you frowned. Okay, You did not expect that. You thought he would ignore you, and you would give him a piece of your mind before leaving.

Sober you would have asked him to have a mature conversation like adults, but tipsy you wanted to flip him off and leave. Your arms hung around your sides awkwardly, trying to understand the situation before finally pushing him away.

“You left me,” you spoke so softly that if Bucky wasn't so close, he wouldn't have heard it. “I needed you and you left me alone.”

Bucky’s heart broke at your words. He didn't consider how his rash decision would affect you. You were kidnapped by the person who assaulted you. Fuck, he cursed himself. He was supposed to be protecting you, not hurting you. You sounded so hurt that Bucky wanted to get on his knees and ask for forgiveness. He was so focused on your physical injuries, he did not even realize he was hurting you emotionally.

Steve cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable to present. He interrupted and took his husband’s hand in his, “We’re going to go.”

Before they could leave, you shifted your attention towards Steve and pointed a finger at him. “Why do you hate me?”

Steve stammered, he didn't expect you to put him in a spot like this, but you had a tad more than necessary liquid courage in your system.

“Doll,” Bucky breathed, and you moved your gaze back towards him. Steve took the opportunity and left the room with Sam.

You were on the verge of tears by now — both of you were — Bucky wasn't a man who could voice his feelings, but with you, all of his armor came shattering down. With you — he would tell you his vulnerabilities and fears just so he could let you in. You meant so much to him that the fear of losing you blinded his sense of understanding. He realized that he acted immaturely and by doing so, he almost lost you.

“You hurt me,” Your voice wavered, the traitorous tears made their way down your eyes, and Bucky couldn't see you like that. Instinctively, he stretched his hands to wrap around you, but stopped, “Can I hold you?”

You sniffled and nodded, and Bucky engulfed you flush against his chest. After a while, you snaked your hands around his shoulder too, and a sob broke down from your throat.

He didn't remember how long he held you like this, but after a while, he picked you up and made his way to the couch. He stood before you and then slid one hand up to your cheek. Likewise, he brushed his thumb across your cheek. And then you slowly straddled his waist as you both settled down on the soft sofa. Bucky’s hands fell naturally to your hips to pull you closer.

“I love you, Bucky,” you whispered, once your tears suspended. You enveloped your arms around him and pressed your forehead against his.

Bucky didn’t know whether you meant it or not. You were pretty drunk. He hoped you did.

“I love you, doll,” he confessed as he kissed the crown of your head. He noticed that you were on the brink of sleep, your breathing even, and you looked so peaceful in his arms.

 He felt at ease — calm even with you in his arms and in that moment he decided he was never letting you go no matter what.

TAGS :  @bananapipedreams​ @akkinda10​ @rivers-rambles21​ @emmabarnes​ @valsworldofcreativity​ @boofy1998​ @marvel-3407​ @mybuck​ @priii​ @coffeebooksandfandom​ @ladydmalfoy​ @shaking-a-jar-of-bees @elizamalfoyy​ @maladaptivexxdaydreaming​ @sabrinathesimp

Taglist for future stuff.

[seriouslyblacklikemysoul]

Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Hello to all beautiful people! Happy pride month my lovelies!!! This has been in my head, forever and I couldn't get past it. Every time I wanted to write something else, this was right there to remind me... This is the first part. The second one is being written right now. Warnings: My English. Everyone is alive, just cuz. Word Count~ 9k+ Summary: It would turn out to be the most difficult thing you had ever done, but you didn’t know that. Your heart would break into many pieces, nowhere to be found, but you didn't know that. Not one moment of your life had remotely prepared you for what was about to come. You were told it was a simple and easy mission. You were reassured everything would be alright because there was no chance whatsoever to fail – it was considered to be an effortless, straightforward mission. After all, how hard could it be – it was just one file, go in, grab it, get the hell out and return home safely and fast. Unfortunately, no one had ever informed you about the circumstances under which you would have to act. Because playing a part was easy, playing people…that was another story completely. SPOILER WARNING - Time travel kinda fic! MASTERLIST

PART II. Süveyda.

Part I – Oblivion.

It was one of the few moments of serenity everyone would enjoy, partly because they were so rare. No wars to be fought, no worries to be dealt with, no missions to be completed. That to the Avengers meant sleep and training, while to you meant more babysitting than usual. Fury had appointed you and trusted you enough to report back to him, anything out of the ordinary. Your job had gotten pretty boring, pretty fast – most of them were never around, anyway. Days like this one, however, were testing your patience – and loyalty. Even though he did not appreciate your calculating eye, at first, Tony was more than happy to give you your own room and enough freedom to run around the tower as if it was your own home. Well, after a certain point, it became your home, since you moved your things out of the rented apartment; you weren’t spending any time there, anyways. You usually stayed within your boundaries and only recorded anything really off, because soon enough you learned that they were a quirky bunch of people, getting closer as the years rolled by, even fighting like a family would. Natasha called you a friend, and that was one of the highest honors achieved. Tony would let you play with his tools even though you had absolutely no idea what most of them did and Steve had offered to train you. Come to think of it, thank God he did. Wanda and Pietro, really felt like the siblings you never had, although Pietro was a flirtatious little shit. Vision was the wise uncle and Thor, when he happened to pop by, was a literal God. Bruce was always so timid and flustered by Natasha. But then a stranger came in. Just when you had decided that you would never find the courage to ask Steve out, someone else invaded your space like nothing you had ever experienced before; and he was never really close to you, physically.

You only caught glimpses, bits, and pieces of that man, at first. You knew that Tony did not trust him at all and that Steve trusted him enough for the both of them. You knew he had a metal arm and he was called “Winter Soldier” by Tony, but Nat and Steve called him Bucky. Wanda seemed interested because for once she could not read a mind. At that, you called Fury and he was as cryptic as ever, only informing you to stay on your feet. Your gut was nudging you to do your own research but at the same time, why bother when the research material was a few doors away? You did find out about everything, eventually, mainly because you kept asking everyone up to the point that drove them insane. Once you saw his face, you knew why they were keeping him low-key monitored 24/7. He was accused of many things, that was without a question. You were watching at the live footage of the camera keeping an eye on him and you could swear that he looked straight through the lenses and burnt your face. The thing was… no one was trying to keep you away but he never wanted to get close to you or even greet you. You entered a room, he found another exit. At first, you didn’t think much of it. A person with a shitload of trauma couldn’t socialize… big whoops. But then, it started getting weirder each day. Honestly, you wouldn’t have paid that much attention, if it wasn’t for Steve apologizing for his behavior only to you. Steve seemed off as well. It was a strange vibe that other times was so ever-present and others… you couldn’t even remember what you were worrying about. It had flooded your mind when you first met him, but again, didn’t think much of it. You were too busy gawking at him to really care about your intuition. And then, once you got used to him being well… him, the same feeling nudged you again sporadically. This was one of those times. You wanted to ask him what was the big deal but you never did. You shook your head and walked down the aisle towards the kitchen. It was rather late for you but insomnia had taken over again, leaving you a not-so-hot of a mess. Your head was definitely not on your shoulders; you preferred dreaming wide awake, as if in a trance, all those scenarios in your head, wondering what if one of them came true… You weren’t sure why you ended up in the kitchen, in the first place; your feet had carried you without your permission. You exhaled rather loudly while massaging your temples, eyes shut. Opening them was probably a mistake. You came face to face with blue eyes with a silver-tone. Your heartbeat would have picked up if it wasn’t for the exhaustion. “Hi” you simply offered and took a step back. He squeezed his eyes shut and all but ran away. “Bye” you said loud enough for the entire tower to listen to you, but your patience had reached its limit. You rolled your eyes at your tactics and his attitude and grabbed a bottle of rosé wine, walking back to your room. Why not the roof, you thought, and up you went. “I never told you to be besties with her, nut-head. But that’s rude. Even for you” you heard Tony reprimanding someone and your stomach was already in a not. You froze, trying to catch everything you could hear. “Says you!” Natasha exclaimed, defending…him? It didn’t make sense. “Stop it. I mean, do you even know if she is loyal to you or someone else?” he questioned but surprisingly enough it wasn’t Steve or Natasha – the two people you thought of as friends – who defended you but Tony. “Bullshit. You better fix this Rogers. Now” he coldly demanded and exited. Thankfully, the room had another exit so he didn’t catch you. Not that he couldn't figure it out if he wanted to. You anticipated someone to prove him wrong but no such thing ever happened. However, Natasha said something that kept bothering you for the longest time. “We both know that’s not why you are shit to her… and you, a coward”. You didn’t sit around for more bickering. Wine down we go, you thought.

“Good morning sunshine” Tony yelled at you, making you wince in pain. You had pulled yourself together and went for “work” – replacing Pepper while she was running the company. So, you did everything Tony threw at you. He was quite the mentor if you were honest. But times like this one really did push your buttons. You pinched the bridge of your nose and looked at him and Steve. “Hello, obnoxiously loud for your height person” you specifically choose not to include Steve, something he noticed as he arched his eyebrow. Tony caught on pretty fast but instead of staying out of it, he jumped right in. “Who got your knickers in a twist? No! Don’t tell me! Captain Virgin?” he exclaimed right when Bucky was passing by, making you groan in frustration and facepalm. Steve turned red but kept his composure while his best friend was in shock. Tony seemed rather unphased by the scene. You tried to hand him a file but he raised his hands. “I don’t like to be handed stuff” he said as if it was the single most mundane thing to say. You looked at him dead in the eye and got up from your seat. “And I don’t like that I have to put up with everyone’s bullshit. But you don’t see me going like this every time one of you acts like a 5-year-old now, do you?” you said without breathing and slammed the file on the counter, in front of him, leaving the three men in awe and a bit worried. You started walking away when Steve called for you and made you turn on your heels, approaching him like a shark was approaching its victim. He needed to know that he had hurt you. “Come on, don’t – ” “No, no. When you realize that I have been here even before you came along, and start treating me with respect, then I will come back. Until then, good luck sorting out your loyalties – because you should already know mine” you deadpanned and shot Bucky a poisonous glare. For a second there, you saw guilt and pain but you turned around before that second became more. You stormed out of the tower and walked aimlessly, without really knowing where you went. You walked by the Empire State Building and your feet carried you towards Brooklyn, without you even noticing it. Hangover at its best but you tried to walk it off along with your anger. You passed a couple of coffee shops before you decided to enter one. The ornate facade and all-wood interior, with a dash of stained glass, and its extremely low-key vibe, transported you to an earlier era. It also helped that it was tucked on a street corner in Boerum Hill surrounded by handsome brick townhouses. Although it had basically the vibes of a bar, it felt familiar and even… comfortable to you. It was called Brooklyn Inn and you had never seen anything online for it. It felt old and vintage but it was so welcoming to you as if you belonged there. You hadn’t planned on staying there but you found a seat by the bar and had the intention of ordering a coffee but you remembered why you run away and instead you ordered a glass of Malbec. The wine was exquisite; rich, dark, and full-bodied with hints of black cherry, vanilla, and sweet tobacco. You were informed that it started with grapes from France but ended up being produced in Argentina and that the glass you were holding was indeed, French. You found comfort in that and it perplexed you. Your eyes traveled around, looking at all the different people in the pub and how many more would have had their drink here… until your gaze fell on him. You had no idea how to feel or even express that. But how did he find you? He approached you, a bit reserved but not too much. It felt that it was his idea to find you – or at least, you hoped to. You were a sucker for those people… brooding, traumatized and devilishly handsome. He sat down next to you, and you got the feeling that he had done that more times than you could count; it felt natural. Almost everything felt just the way they were supposed to. When the bartender came to take his order, he greeted him and even held a small talk, which meant two things. Bucky was

capable of talking, just not to you and secondly, he came to this place, quite often too, if you were to judge by the friendliness and the fact that the guy knew what the “usual” meant. He was fucking dushing, you noticed. “And one more glass of Malbec for the lady” he added right after, leaving you confused as fuck but surprised in a good way, too. You just sat there, looking at your glass, not daring to disturb whatever universe you had entered. “I am sorry for being a jerk to you” he confessed while the drinks were served. You thanked the bartender and took a sip. “Try looking at me when you apologize” you softly mused and you noticed a side smile forming on his lips, one that he quickly dropped. To your surprise, he did. And you found yourself captivated by his eyes. “I am sorry, doll” his mouth betrayed him and your eyes were about to pop out of their sockets. He quickly apologized again and remained silent. You felt so awkward that you let out an airy laugh. It might not have been for you in particular but getting to be called doll but the one James Barnes was on your bucket list. The man in front of you was an infamous flirt back in the day – that much you knew from Steve, when he actually talked to you. “S’ okay… Sergeant” you commented with an eyebrow slightly arched. He actually blushed at that and you felt very proud. You put down your glass and turned towards him. “But why? Why were you a jerk? No offense” you quickly added, hoping to get an answer this time. He cleared his throat and adjusted his body as well. You could literally see his brain malfunctioning. “It’s just that… I don’t know and I am not big on trusting strangers” he said but you didn’t believe it. If he didn’t know you, he could have asked. If he truly didn’t know you, he wouldn’t know where to find you – alright, maybe that was a coincidence, but what about your drink? “Bullshit” you softly challenged him while looking at him dead in the eye but smiled nonetheless and dropped it. You sat there for a while, enjoying the vibe and the drinks until you took your wallet out to pay and leave. You weren’t sure if it was his manners kicked in, or if it was a force of habit but he stopped you…in a very physical way. He touched your hand and pushed it back – you weren’t even sure he realized it. “Thank you, but I can pay for my drinks” you said steadily. He gave you a funny look and placed 30 dollar-bill under the receipt. “I know” he simply commented and he gave you his hand to help you out of your stool. Yeah, you had entered another dimension. Exactly because you were so unprepared for all of it, really, you just complied. And the touch was pushing you further down a slippery slope. He even held the door open for you. “Wait, wait. Why are you being so nice?” you suddenly asked him, making him smile in question. “Can’t I just be sorry for my attitude?” he questioned. You were about to say no but… oh, well. “You’re going to poison me? Have you spiked my drink?” you kept asking and he let out a small laugh. He declined every accusation with a ‘nope’. You ended up walking around Brooklyn with him and you didn’t even notice. He was silent for the most part but that didn’t bother you, as you simply let your mind and eyes travel as far as they wanted. Brooklyn was the heart of the entire New York City. It was so oddly familiar to you, even though you hadn’t lived that long there. “So… you and Steve… he tells me you are close” he tried to make small talk. It took you by surprise the fact that they had talked about you. You thought about the statement for a bit. “Sure. I mean, obviously, I don’t know him as well as you do, but he’s a good friend” you answered truthfully. He was a very good friend. He was there for you since you met him. Come to think of it, he and Bucky acted exactly alike. Mmm, not exactly, but they both avoided you in the beginning, and then everything was perfect. He too, wouldn’t talk to you, although he did talk to you, just not… in an elaborated way. More like in

the ‘I see you here every day and I have to be polite’ way. “Oh” was all he said. The conversation, if one could call it that, died down after that. And it was getting late. You had to return to your job and have a talk with Tony to get him to cooperate and sign the damn contracts he initiated. “This was lovely, weirdly enough. But I do have to get back” you soothed. It was the strangest day for you. Or so you thought. He, on the other hand, had no intention of going back so early. “Have ever been to Coney Island?” he blurted out, leaving you dumbfounded. You blinked a couple of times before answering. “No, I don’t think I have” you told him as you crossed the Williamsburg Bridge. He slightly frowned but you really didn’t understand why. “If you need a guide, I am available” he offered while he took a step back. You really didn't know what to think. “Brooklyn born and bred, huh?” you joke but he took pride in that. Why wouldn't he, you thought. “Yes ma'am” he confirmed and left you wondering what the hell just happened. “I should go. Thank you for... the normality” you waved goodbye. He lowered his head and nodded in agreement. Without another word, you took your separate paths.

You were thinking about how people were constantly moving at quantum speeds, in their minds, in their work, building patterns and seeing past through their everyday lives. Having this socially constructive mentality that they needed to be productive to be seen as equals to their peers. Constantly in motion, to be more and criticizing their imperfections. It felt like a constant need to keep striving forward, but they would eventually lose focus on their true essence, on what they really needed. So caught up in thinking about who they were going to be that they didn’t even recognize who they were right now. You caught yourself being one of those people and tried to find stillness in your lives, moments of silence, to come back within, to allow the rest of the world to keep moving forward, to see new objectives intuitively flowing through. The sky was so soft, you felt that it would melt if you touched it. The darkest blue was stained with little balls of color. You wished that you could see the night sky at its glory, without the lights and pollution to destroy the magic. Your room didn’t have the best of views, anyway. You gave up trying to imagine how different the velvet canvas would have looked seventy years ago, and strolled around the compound. Everything was still and serene as if no one was even breathing. You always felt torn between big crowds and solitude, being with company and being alone, living in a big city and leaving everything behind. He was such a fucking contradiction. He was flirtatious, charming, and romantic, but also introverted and emotional. You could never really know because of how adaptable and changeable he was. You understood his mood swings better than anyone, but it was hard even for you, to keep up with the stream of emotions that never slowed down. He was someone whose identity had been obliterated by pain—a pain that had destroyed almost every last vestige of his personhood. It was for this reason that he almost never spoke, you thought. He was still fighting whatever HYDRA did to him. You thought of the reoccurring presence of a piercing, metallic scream—a scream that was positively visceral, expressive of a tremendous amount of pain, panic, and fear. Brutal and brutalizing, that noise playing in his head over and over again, impacted him on a palpable, instinctive, organic level, giving sonic form to the blank, numbness inside the Winter Soldier’s mind. He was trying to fight it and you could see that. The demons were still inside, though. Steve had told you that Bucky was one of the few people that actually recognized what it was that made him good, before his transformation into Captain America. has been made of the fact that Bucky Barnes is one of the few people to recognize the greatness in Steve Rogers before his transformation into Captain America. You saw the way he believed in Steve, too. But you wanted to yell at him that, yes, Steve was great but so was he. He didn’t believe he could achieve that kind of greatness but he didn’t mind, he had plenty of time to come to terms with it, as he had revealed once, a very unholy hour. And that was exactly what made him great; his selflessness, his choice of friendship instead of jealousy. You were watching him again. From afar, always from afar. Never from near. You watched him and observe the way his hair had grown the last few weeks and how some strands were falling down to his eyes. He brushed them away, harshly, and you wondered how these bruised hands would feel on your skin. His skin glistened warmly like desert sand when the sun caressed him. You watched bruises fade and reappear, lipstick smeared on collarbones - or was it blood? - his skin shimmering like naked gold, flesh piercing out between his teeth. It was your destiny to watch and fall, to fall and watch. All over again. Watch. Stop. Repeat until internal collapse. This time, he was watching you too. His eyes were blue, a particular kind of blue between the depths of the ocean and the frozen cover of a winter’s lake. A smug

blue that broke through the purple sky like a whispered sunset. Bucky was watching you and he had no intention of averting his eyes and you felt your blood freezing inside your veins. It was a bitter realization of how much power that man held over you. Your body shivered. You couldn’t prevent it anymore; your eyes were drawn to the sun like a magnetic field that hypnotized you over and over again and you were terrified by the light but you were more terrified of being surrounded by the dark again. You blinked. You sit there, frozen in time, while everyone else became a witness to the silent conversation between the two of you, but you had a hard time understanding if it was your heart that hammered beneath your ribcage or if it had stopped. You were dreaming again. You were daydreaming that there was a gap between reality and something like blood was sticking between the sharp edges of his collarbones but you didn’t mind because his hands were on your neck, on your face, in your hair – “do you want me to touch you? I’ve seen the way you look at me, I want to touch you, be still” - and you were, you were still, you were quiet when he dragged you over to the wall and pushed his knee between your legs and you wanted this, wanted him and his fingers dug painfully in your cheeks and your chin and he held you still, so still you couldn’t move and it hurt… You shook your head. Your mind was playing with you, mocking your naivety. He was watching but he was only watching, as were you – from afar. Never once getting closer than that. “Are you okay?” a worried whisper, violently shook you out of your dream. It felt so real; his touch burnt marks and you could swear you knew how they felt. “Yes” you said as in a trance. Steve didn’t believe you. He knew that answer, he used that answer. He looked at you concerned but you looked at the other man walking behind him, not really paying attention to anything he said. You often wondered if he was able to just… read your mind. It was easy, too easy, to fall for him. He was tender and familiar. He understood so much of his surroundings and experienced deeper than anyone you had known. But you wished you knew if he truly felt – it seemed easier to be numb. Steve arched an eyebrow and gave you the look, which was actually wasted since you weren’t looking at him. Bucky saw you and didn’t turn away, instead he looked right back at you. “I have to go” you blurted out and left as fast as your legs could carry you.

“What about Nat?” you heard Steve asking and you swallowed your heart. “It’s different” Bucky simply answered. You stopped breathing so you wouldn’t miss a word. “How? They are both from your past” Steve offered but your head couldn’t understand what he was saying. “That’s not true and we both know it” he replied and silence took over. You had taken one step when a response was out there, for you to deal with it. “Of course, I know. But she doesn’t know and we cannot tell her”.

Days and nights passed by in an everlasting circle. Minutes turned into months and your life moved on. You never asked what was the big secret; you took what they gave you and cherished it. You never lied about anything, you were always there and somehow, you had gained Bucky’s trust. He confided in you, he laughed around you without worrying about what people might think, as did Steve. But they never said a word. You had caught some other weird comments as well but you brushed them off. They would tell you when and if they felt comfortable. You had a pretty vague idea about it and you tested it more than once but never crossed a line. Little things like small comments about their past, questions asked but never answered, words that didn’t correspond with today… you didn’t really know what to think but you started realizing that something was going on… before you met them. Maybe they knew a girl with strong opinions and quick temper back in the day and they were projecting. Maybe, they just wanted things to go back to the way they used to be. Who could blame them? Bucky was on the cold tiles of his bathroom and was pressing his hands flat down until the chill crawled up in his bones. He felt burnt and touched and scorched in all the places that he thought had healed a long time ago. Somewhere in the background, the water tap was dripping in tandem with his heart. Drop, drop, drop, your name was spelled… You had just entered his room, waiting to find him looking outside the window. Instead, you heard the ragged breathing. When he closed his eyes, he saw crime scenes. A marketplace in the afternoon glow. Orange lights switching to red. Honking cars. His lifeless eyes fixed on his target. And the scene always ended with a twist – his target was no longer the bold man; he was no longer the Winter Soldier, it was no longer the present, you were no longer safe. Drop, drop, drop. Bucky opened his eyes when the sun had long died on the horizon. One of his hands was resting on the tiles – the other wasn’t his. He felt like an emergency. But you kneeled down and sat next to him, with both of your hands on the tiled floor. He remembered a scene that had yet to happen. He wanted it to.

“Tell me you need me”, he said and his lips were shivering against your sunburned skin, “tell me you need me, tell me you can’t fucking breathe without the scent of my cologne or the taste of my skin under your tongue. Tell me”, he said and he was frantic, almost wild in his eyes, “tell me you want me. Tell me you want me so much that it fucking burns inside of you. Tell me you’re not ashamed”, and this time the man was almost begging with his hands roaming all over your face and his eyes blinded from the dying sun, “tell me you love me, please, tell me that all the flesh I burn and all the blood I swallow underwater is worth it. Tell me you won’t leave me”, he whispered and something tasted acid-like bile and salty like tears in the back of your throat and the air was unusually hot, and each of his words left knife marks between the hollows of your ribs. “Tell me this isn’t all in my head”, the man finally broke out and covered himself with your body like a blanket made of waves and you kissed his eyelids and watched as the skin under your lips melted to ashes.

“It’s too cold for you” he croaked and you chuckled. You shook your head, and you knew that even in the dead of the night he could see it. “You’re not too cold for me” you reassured his not spoken worry. He was terrified and you only got a glimpse. Fridays were supposed to be movie nights – the guys educating you in old cinema – but you didn’t mind at all the scene you were witnessing. You slowly approached him and even more reservedly you offered your hand in a kind gesture – he could pick himself up, physically, but sometimes that was not enough. He touched you, grabbing onto your hand for dear life. The lights were off inside his room. He didn’t turn them on and you respected that decision. It was late; again. In any other scenario, you would consider this romantic but his fragile state made you scared and angry at the people who bent him backward. He sat on his bed and you didn’t dare move from his side. He had been careful enough to hide this part away from you, to hide the panic attacks that came with it, the nightmares, the voices. You sat there in absolute silence until you moved your hand to touch his metal arm. He looked at you as if you were insane – because he was afraid of himself enough for the both of you. “I’m scared of the darkness inside of me. It is growing, day by day, and I fear the day it consumes me. You called me a hero when we first met, Steve told me… but I feel like I have been the villain all along” he found himself confessing and you had no idea what hit you. You had seen him down, sad even angry but never so… broken. Ready to give up everything. “I called a hero because no one else would be standing here, sitting next to me, talking about their trauma. I called a hero, not because heroes are pure light – no, because every single one of them is trying to fight the demons inside. Because, you have walked through the gates of hell, into the firepits, and survived to see… not the pearly gates but this mediocre existence, full of mundane little things” you admitted without even realizing what was the very essence of your words. “I tried to unlearn how to hold the guns and the knives the way they taught me. I tried to unbury myself from all those corpses of people they put above me. I tried to erase them from my system. With scissors and razor blades and butcher knives and broken shards of a mirror. I don’t want to be killed twice” he winced at the thought and you acted out of instinct, cupping his face with your hands and looking deep into his eyes, to see where those demons were hiding and obliterate them any way you could. He was taken aback but didn’t move. “Do I scare you?” he asked in a small voice, too afraid to destroy the stillness of the moment. “You could never”.

He lay sleeping next to you, hair messy, body relaxed. You watched the slow rise and fall of his chest, counting the beats in between. The dust settled in the air and you watched it drizzling through the glimmer of white light that shined through the blinds. You wanted to reach out and touch him but you stopped mid-movement. Instead, you touched him with your eyes. Cheeks, nose, collarbone, lips. The air around him tasted like autumn. You wanted to drown in it. His hand was in your hand and your hand was in his and his lips were on yours and your lips were on his and his fingers touched your skin and yours touched his shoulders and-

You didn’t even realize you had fallen asleep. It felt so… right. So real. You could almost touch him and sense his warmth but something was off. In your dream, he was younger, careless, carefree…and you never felt the metal of his arm. You had made a promise of never falling asleep when he was around because even if it felt so damn right, you never wanted to make him uncomfortable. However, seeing him sleeping so peacefully took some of the guilt off of your shoulders. He was serene, almost resembling the disoriented dream of yours. Softer, mellow, and not tormented by those demons that hunted him each waking moment. You tried your best not to touch him and slipped under the bedding, still very much able to understand just how much heat he was radiating, making you fall asleep again. Easily.

There was half a carton of milk leftover from breakfast on the table. You reached out and took it, drinking it straight from the carton. He scowled at you and took a glass from one of his cupboards. His hand reached out but stopped. You waited for the touch to burn you. It didn’t. “Darlin’, we do have glasses” he mocked you but his hand cupped your face, lips inches apart, when he moved away with a wicked smile. “Fucking sadist” you whispered and tugged him closer for a quick kiss. He smiled, lethally blinding. The only thing that mattered was him; the kitchen disappeared from view and you shut your eyes closed, getting lost in the moment.

You never talked about your dream to anyone. Even Wanda was forbidden from snooping around there. At least you hoped she didn’t. They were all the more vivid and you thought that you were either falling even harder or you were wishing for something that could never happen in your line of work. You had stopped reporting to Fury – and he knew. You had practically been adopted as the rookie who would help around and on missions but your skills were more intellectual than physical. Now, you could kill, you could fight, maybe not as well as Natasha or Steve but you preferred not to. Bucky preferred you not to be anywhere near but it wasn’t his choice, after all. He had grown closer, almost attached to your hip but not exactly. There was something missing, something that didn’t exactly fit but you shook it off, as you had done with Steve, and moved on. Today was one of those effortless days; no worries whatsoever. Tony was insisting on preparing brunch, but him being … him, you all ended up eating a makeshift breakfast. You had been seated on a high stool as you spotted the half-empty carton of juice on the table. You reached out and took it, drinking it straight out of the carton. And then everything was in slow motion, everything was familiar. He rolled his eyes and scowled you, as he took a glass from one of the cupboards. He poured the leftover juice into it and with a mocking smile, handed it to you. But you were too frozen to do anything but look at him, eyes wide open and mind shut. “What? We do have glasses here” he told you in a funny way as if he had no idea what just happened. The man in front of you was the same fucking person in the same fucking context. But how could that be? Were you predicting the future? Or… had you lived that before? You took too much time to answer, or even react in a way that they grew worried. But you didn’t know how to reassure them that you were okay because you weren’t. Your mind was playing tricks, one moment you were standing in the tower’s kitchen and the next you were on a stool in a vintage kitchen, small and cozy, with just one man. And then back to now. You tried to hide your face in the obnoxiously big cup of tea you had in front of you, which did not go unnoticed but you just couldn’t cope. You were wondering whether or not should you respond the way you remembered you had, in your dream, or just let it pass. After a while, you knew Wanda was going to scoop and that why you warned her, quite loudly too. Please, don’t. Don’t. You knew she heard your thought clear as day because her eyes popped and blushed slightly, leaving Pietro wondering what had happened. You let it slide for now and keep your posture while everyone else was having a rather good time. The whole thing wasn’t dying down any time soon but you needed air to breathe and space to exist. But you also needed an exit strategy. Or rather… a line. You stood up, thanked Tony but not really, and said you were going to start working for a living, meaning you were about to play around in Tony’s lab. No one found anything suspicious. While walking behind Bucky, you slightly leaned in and whispered that line. “Fucking sadist”. His eyes shot up and his head snapped at you. He recognized it, and you were more than assured that this had happened again. But how, you didn’t know. For now, you were content knowing that at some point in this world, at some distant reality, you had felt his lips on yours. You would come back for answers but for now, you just went out to get a proper coffee. No Avengers.

Lately, you had been feeling rather off, out of touch with reality but you didn’t mind that much. Sometimes you caught yourself daydreaming about images that had flashed before your mind when you were asleep, while others you were just thinking about him. It was just him. Every day, all day. “Don’t make me use Wanda” Tony warned you out of the blue, startling you and making you look up, avoiding his gaze. He rolled his eyes so hard that you were afraid they were going to get stuck. “You wouldn’t” you fired back, very much assured that he would not even think about it… but he surprised you. “Well, it’s not like I need her powers to understand that you have been crushing on Barnes” he outed you without even worrying about people actually listening. You wanted to shush him but that would put you in a difficult position. “Tony… please don’t” you simply asked of him. It was the first time you saw him worried and perplexed, at a loss of words. But then, corking an eyebrow, he just dropped his job and came to sit next to you. It was his lab, you couldn’t say no. “Listen, you know that I am not particularly fond of his company – ” “Tony, you hate the guy” you cut him off, making him arch his eyebrow again in agreement. You smiled but it didn’t quite reach your eyes. “All I want to say is be careful” he concluded and made you realize that he did care about his team; well, not everyone, but for the most part, he did. “Thank you, Tony, but let’s be realistic… I am never going to make a move, and I don’t think he is interested in making one either” you summed up what you had gathered. Tony seemed to disagree with your statement, shaking his head but not saying a word, which was suspicious. “What? Do you know something?” you pushed further but he just got up and went back to his job. “Not everything is what it seems, honey” he cynically quoted and left you with a gazillion questions, which he wasn’t going to answer. You knew that he knew something and that Steve knew too. Maybe Natasha, but you weren’t sure, Wanda probably, since she can pretty much-read minds, and therefore Vision as well. Clint had a family, Pietro had god knows how many girls, Thor was in Asgard and Bruce was falling for Natasha. Sam and Rhodey were placing bets for all of you. They all had their own problems to be invested in your non-existent love life.

All it took was a mission gone wrong and Fury was breathing down your neck each day and each night, demanding you report to him every single detail. Which you didn’t. Not everything. Why would it matter that you spent most nights sleeping next to Bucky because it had become a thing after having heard him suffering and barging in without second thought? Why would it matter that you never left that night or any night after that? Why would it matter that he had opened up about his past, slowly revealing all those details that you, somehow, already knew? Why would it matter that Steve was trying to warn his best friend that this was a bad idea and upon confronting him, he went silent and couldn’t even look you in the eye. Why would it matter to Fury that you had been having all those dreams that seemed so real, vivid, and true to be just that? Why would it matter that you had a beautiful friendship with Wanda and Pietro? Why would it matter that Thor was hitting on you, ever so discretely, but permanent enough to make Bucky jealous? At least you thought he was… or rather, hoped. You really didn’t understand what difference it would make… Maybe if you had been completely honest with Fury, he would never have given you the solo mission. Perhaps, it would have been for the best. Probably not. Tony was watching you like a hawk, whenever Bucky was in the same room but even he had to admit that whenever you were around he was more of a puppy than an attack dog, and he kind of appreciated that. Deep down, he knew that you and Steve were right about him but his pride and grief didn’t let him say it in so many words. He showed it by calling him by his name, joking with him, and even sitting next to him. Bucky was grateful for every single chance he was given, and every single day he tried his best. All those little things, you thought of as personal and never disclosed them with Fury. Maybe too personal. They had become your family and you couldn’t just turn on them. As you watched them interact with each other you just saw a big, kind of dysfunctional but very loving family.

“So that’s your thing… you observe” he startled you and you quickly turned around to see a smug-looking face. “It’s the best tactic” you carefully answered while searching for any kind of sign in his eyes. But he gave you very little. You shouldn’t have hoped for anything more but you were crushing indeed. He kept staring at you, checking you out from head to toe. You could tell that he … at least, appreciated your look. You were wearing a dark red dress with an elegant halter neckline, form-fitting bodice, empire waist, lace-up elastic back, and knee-length skirt. It had a black ribbon sash that garnished your empire waistline providing the perfect finishing touch. A winged eyeliner and bold, dark red lips were all you needed, makeup-wise. You knew that he was still looking at you when you decided to grab your drink and walk over to the others, leaving him to admire your naked back as you swayed your hips a bit more. It didn’t take him long to join you.

The night went on pretty smoothly. Tony was a rather drunk jerk, Pepper was embraced and slightly angry at him but nothing new there. Wanda and Vision were in a world of their own and no one could blame them; Thor was drinking with Steve, while Clint and Pietro were betting who would pass out first. Rhodey and Sam were comparing their flying style. Bruce and Natasha were flirting shamelessly and you were enjoying your beer while listening to a very talkative Bucky. He hadn’t shut up ever since Steve had brought up old Brooklyn. And all the girls Bucky was seeing… There was cockiness in his voice and pride in his attitude, two things not so usual. Some people would call that a small party, a gathering, but to you, that was just another Friday night. Everything was perfect until F.R.I.D.A.Y announced one Nick Fury and one Maria Hills. Suddenly, everyone stopped talking and you simply swallowed hard. You felt it in the pit of your stomach. He was there for you. And it was never that simple with Fury.

“You’re having a party and didn’t invite me?” he mocked you, but Tony was faster. “Sorry, we’re closed. Invitations only” he said very seriously. He was still not big on trusting him and honestly, he was right. You stood up and tried your best to hide behind Bucky’s broad silhouette. He sensed it and was confused but not a moment later, he froze. There was a moment of realization that you would understand later on. He tried to shield you from Fury’s view, while Steve… did the same, as he walked in front of you. “It won’t take long. I just need to borrow her” he pointed directly at you and a rush of cold air was pushed down your lungs. No, every part of your conscience and subconscious was trying to warn you; it was as if your body was scarred to move. You shook it off and hesitantly walked towards him. “It’s only gonna take a minute. I’ll be right back” you assured them but the look on Bucky’s face was one of dread. He reached out and grabbed your wrist. Fury rolled his eyes. “I’ll be in the other room” he informed you but you really didn’t care about him. Your hand was on fire by his touch. You looked worried as well but you couldn’t understand why. Bucky seemed to know more than he let on but now was not the time. He simply brought you closer to him with desperation. You didn’t know how to react. He had never been that touchy or that straightforward with you. “Remember this, please” he begged you, and as you were going to ask what, why and other possible questions, he cupped your face and planted a pained kiss on your lips. Your breath was caught on the back of your neck, your mind shut down and your eyes had never closed that fast before. You felt the agony, the emotions flowing towards you, the pain-stained past… you felt him. He let go, unwillingly. He looked pale as if he had seen a ghost, or maybe you were one. His eyes never left yours and when his hand fell through thin air, his breath hitched, he immediately tried to grab you but Steve called him, ever so softly, that you never heard it clearly. But alas, it had to happen. Dumbfounded, you walked into the room with Fury, not being able to process anything, still feeling him close but too far away. “You talk to no one, you change nothing, you come back to your boyfriend and you still say nothing, got it?” he deadpanned but you were too lost to be able to understand any of it. “What do I do?” you asked purely out of habit. He went into details, nothing too descriptive. You had to use one of the things he gave you to be transported, whatever that meant, in and out of where you were going. You had to find a file with the number 32557038 in a military base and return home. Under different circumstances, you would have declined but you were not in the right mind and all you wanted to do was go back to Bucky and have a do-over. But, alas. “You’re going now”. “What? How?”. “Press this when you’re ready and press it again when you’re done”. He didn’t give you much of a choice, as he pressed it for you, and you spun around.

[honestgrins]

Can you write a Klaroline drabble where Caroline shows up in NOLA and shocks everyone but maybe Kol or Katherine when she says she's Klaus's wife? Cannon Caroline not original.

I Heard a Rumor

The club was filled with people and the chaos of a Friday night. Klaus preferred to avoid the rush of tourists, but Marcel kept the VIP lounge to a more tolerable set even during peak hours - usually.

“Don’t you just love this place?” Janet was hanging over the balcony to watch the crowds below, none too subtly pushing her ass back toward him. As one of the humans on staff to provide a live blood source, she was perfectly amiable to Klaus. He’d even become something of a regular customer for her given his penchant for the tinge of bourbon in her taste. However, it seemed she took the friendly flirtation of their transactions to heart, and she was testing his patience for more. 

Unfortunately for her, his patience was wearing thin. With a barely polite grimace, he downed the rest of his drink and made to stand. “It’s a bit rowdier than I like, love, so—”

She gave a rapturous giggle, only to fall into his lap and sprawl across him. “I like that you call me ‘love,’” she murmured, her mouth clumsy against his ear. “Let’s get out of here, and I’ll show you how much I like it.”

Rolling his eyes, Klaus was ready to speed out of there without bothering to set her back on her feet. The only thing that kept him in his crowded seat was the biting and all too familiar voice coming from behind him.

“Sorry, love, he won’t be available to accept whatever appreciation you have in mind.”

Both surprised — though for very different reasons — they turned to see Caroline Forbes facing them with a pageant-ready smile and murder in her eyes. She was stunning. Klaus couldn’t help a grin despite his earlier annoyance, and his brow arched in challenge. “Hello, sweetheart. Fancy meeting you here.”

Her jaw shifted almost imperceptibly to the left, but his companion didn’t seem to sense the rising tension as a threat. “Who the hell are you?”

Just like that, Caroline’s smile turned sharp with her fangs on full display. “I’m his wife, and you’re in my seat.”

The club was home to any number of vampires who heard her perfectly over the music, and more than a few froze at the sudden silence coming from him. The Klaus Mikaelson they knew would have reacted instantly, either with murder or some other violence, and they all seemed to wait for the ensuing mayhem. Even Janet finally grasped the discomfort of the moment, and she extricated herself from his lap with all the delicacy a human could manage. “I’ll just— Yeah, bye.”

Whatever show the club was waiting for, Klaus had more pressing concerns. “Shall we continue this interesting discussion at home?” he asked, though they both knew it wasn’t a question. Gently gripping Caroline’s arm, he flashed them back to the manor. He heard Kol and Rebekah meandering somewhere, and Elijah was likely on the premises as well. With that in mind, he brought her to the privacy of his studio and its soundproofing spell. Wisely, she waited until the door was shut to yank her arm free with a disgruntled huff. He merely smiled as he went to pour them some blooded wine. “That was quite the display you gave, sweetheart,” he said lightly, handing her a glass. “I have to admit: I didn’t see it coming.”

“Bullshit,” she snapped, setting aside the drink without indulging. His lips pursed; it was an excellent vintage, yet he was more perturbed at her outright refusal of his hospitality. Perhaps this wasn’t their usual spat to be easily resolved. Proving just that, she seemed truly distraught. “You promised to leave Mystic Falls, that my life was my own.”

“It is. I haven’t stepped foot in Virginia since that day.” Brow furrowed, Klaus felt an urgent need to reassure her. “I understand you need time to accept what I’m offering, and I am prepared to wait however long it takes. What on earth made you believe I’m encroaching on that promise?”

Last he heard, she wasn’t even in the States. They did chat by phone every so often, and when she’d mentioned a tour abroad, he had offered a list of his various estates that would be available to her should she wish. It was the caretaker of his dacha outside of Moscow who alerted him to her softening boundaries. He certainly had no intention of making her regret the change, let alone whatever caused this latest upset.

Watching him with suspicion, Caroline apparently wasn’t sure of his intentions at all. “Seriously? It wasn’t bad enough I ran into the stalkers you have ‘looking out for me’ in every city, but the one time I take you up on borrowing a place, you have the staff literally bowing to me. I wrote it off as a cultural thing at first, then I heard the whispers.”

“Though I refute your accusations of stalking, I will admit to warning some friends and enemies you are not to be trifled with in your travels. As for Dmitri, I merely asked him to welcome you as an honored guest, which you are.” 

She scoffed and crossed her arms in defiance. “Yeah, well, he wasn’t welcoming me as an honored guest. I overheard him chatting with his wife about meeting ‘the new mistress of the house.’”

Klaus shrugged, unconcerned. Satisfied the situation wasn’t more dire, he allowed himself to relax on his sofa, daring to pat the spot next to him. Caroline remained unmoved, and he rolled his eyes. “Perhaps the nature of your significance was lost in translation. You’re the one who came to my town and introduced yourself as my wife.”

“Because half of Russia thinks I am your wife!” With an indignant stamp of her foot, she seemed ready to tear her hair out — but she frowned more sedately at the blankness on his face. “You didn’t know?” 

Shaking his head, he honestly had no idea. “What happened, Caroline?”

Finally taking her drink, she dropped to the couch beside him with an embarrassed groan. “I stepped into exactly one vampire club, and people practically threw themselves out of my path. I assumed it was more of the same from you, until the guy I was flirting with was suddenly yanked away by a friend. He went white when he was told my husband would tear out his intestines and shove them down his throat.”

“A bit uncreative, that.”

“Klaus!”

“I don’t know,” he insisted, his frustration growing to match hers. Rubbing a hand across his mouth, he genuinely had no idea why anyone would think him married. Though he had many hopes and plans involving Caroline in his future, matrimony was a human tradition he’d never once considered. “Truly, this didn’t come from me.”

Sighing, she leaned back into the couch and nursed her wine, defeated. “Oh. Then, sorry for cockblocking, I guess.”

Klaus smirked at that, and he turned to face her more fully. “Are you really?” The lightest blush stained her cheeks, and he knew she was biting her tongue at the faint scent of her blood. Unable to resist, he reached his hand to rest on the back of her neck, his thumb rubbing into her hair. “New Orleans is a small town at heart, love, and you effectively announced yourself as my wife in the middle of town square.”

“To be fair, I thought you had told the whole world, and I wasn’t going to be the only one not getting laid because of it.”

“Ah.” He was torn between a wince and a laugh, so he settled for another sip of his drink instead. His other hand continued to massage her scalp, and he felt the tension slowly loosening within her. “I never meant to restrict your choices,” he promised. “Tempt you into choosing me, absolutely, but not like this.”

Finally, she relaxed into him, slouching until he could tuck her against his side. Some doubt lingered, though, he could tell. Perhaps it was a sign of growth on both their parts that he didn’t take offense and that she trusted him enough be honest. “But who else would want to spread a rumor like that about us? It’s not like anyone benefits if we really did do the Vegas wedding thing.”

His mouth twitched, and he flashed to the door, barely sparing a brief kiss to the top of her head. He tore it open, only for her to slam it shut again. Pressing her back to the wood, she kept a heavy glare on him. “Put those away, we both know you’re not going to bite me.”

With a reluctant growl, he forced his fangs to recede. “It’s not your blood I want at the moment, and it’s certainly not pleasure I seek.”

“Yeah, ‘cause revenge isn’t a pleasure for you,” she answered snidely. “Tell me what’s going on before you kill the blabbermouth.”

“This is something I have to do myself, sweetheart.”

“Hi, I might want to help! They screwed with both of us here, not just you.”

A half-smile formed without permission, the fondness he felt for her softer than he was comfortable acknowledging at the moment — especially when someone had proven all too willing to use their connection against him. “Few in New Orleans know about you, let alone your...effect on me. Only two would maliciously speak out of turn about that. And just one of those would dare to bind you to me forever, lest I be challenged to follow through.”

Her face was an open book to him, and he hoped she never lost that human nature to share every feeling she had as it happened. Confusion, calculation, consternation, they all boiled down to an annoyed scrunch of her nose. “Your family knows I exist, at least, I think so. I never actually met Elijah, but you two seem to have gotten over whatever grudge match was going on at home.” He gave a brief nod, fascinated at the determined way she thought it through. “I also doubt you told him about your fling with a baby vampire. Kol and Rebekah, on the other hand, probably didn’t need to be told.”

“Bekah still likes to complain that we defiled the entire wood within earshot,” he muttered, not that he could be particularly aggrieved at the memory of a sunny afternoon. “And you are no mere fling, Caroline.”

That lovely blush rose again, and she looked anywhere but at him as he crowded her against the door. Gently brushing the curtain of her hair back from her face, Klaus waited for her to gather herself. After a deep breath, she finally met him with a half-hearted glare. “Which Rebekah loathes, so she’s definitely not daring you to marry me by telling everyone else you already have.”

Silently agreeing, he hadn’t lowered his hand from where it settled on her cheek, and a thrill came when she leaned into it. “Kol, however, enjoys sowing chaos wherever he goes.”

“Yeah,” she groaned. “That sounds on brand, and I played right into it with this stupid payback stunt.”

“We always did share a flair for the dramatic.”

The laugh built in her throat before it burst out, filling the air between them until they were both smiling like fools. Her hands had curled into his shirt, one at his hip and the other over his heart. The slight tug of fabric was tempting, but he still kept his tentative distance. “I promised you time, and I meant it.”

Biting her lip, Caroline nodded. She didn’t let go of his shirt, either. “Does it have be all or nothing right now?” It was half a whisper, the barest hint of whine in her voice endearing. “Because you smell really good and it’s been a long time thanks to your stupid brother, and I might have missed you more than I realized, so can you just kiss me alrea—”

There would be consequences from the rumors of their marriage, and more than just those Kol would face. Caroline would be a target, either for those seeking Klaus’s favor or those out to destroy him. Her presence or absence from his daily life would be a noted occurrence, and more rumors would arise should they be seen with others instead. New pressures would exert force on the evolution of their relationship, something he had measured in decades and centuries without such attention. But they could deal with those consequences in time, together.

Later.

[the-ghost-king]

So I'm not going to start like an Anti-Chiron tag because I don't find that enjoyable personally, but every so often people ask why I dislike him so here's essentially a "masterpost" of my thoughts on that situation for when anyone asks, just so I have it to explain some...

This isn't nearly a full list, and there's many more "incidents" that make me less than fond of Chiron, I don't hate the old man but he leaves a bad taste in my mouth and I'm not a fan of that. He's a very twisted character.

- The Lightning Thief

This quote is literally just after Percy's mom "dies", they're all sitting on the porch of the Big House right after he's finally woken up after days of sleeping, and that's the line Chiron pulls out on him.

That's straight up emotional manipulation which was entirely unnecessary in the context of what Chiron was trying to explain. There wasn't a single reason for that, in the slightest.

Immediately following that, and Percy, who canonically has anger issues, does his best to remain calm, he is immediately threatened by Dionysus, and Chiron doesn't even tell Dionysus off for doing that; Chiron just let's it happen. It's Grover who has to speak up to tell Dionysus off...

The only reason Chiron comes out looking like a old guy in this scene is because Dionysus was so much worse in his behavior, at one point intimidating Percy with his power over madness.

- The Titan's Curse

This is the aftermath of when Nico ran away upon confirmation of Bianca's death. When Percy is telling Chiron about the situation, Chiron wishes Nico had been eaten alive rather than recruited into an army.

He'd rather a child be dead than fight against him, and he openly tells this to other children he's in charge of. If Percy went missing would he have said "I hope he was eaten <3" as well?

I don't blame Perry for not delivering the truth here, it was done in an effort to protect Nico; which wasn't something Annabeth had planned on doing... I don't blame Annabeth for that though either, she's been beneath Chiron so long that she probably doesn't realize the shady stuff he does, and to her "going to tell" probably was the "right" move because she was a child...

But the fact that Chiron believes Nico truly would be better off eaten than alive :/

- Tower of Nero

This quote from Tower of Nero shows that Chiron lied to a bunch of young children (most of them were young because the older campers are largely dead because of the war or too old for camp now). It wasn't just a little white lie that adults sometimes tell kids either; they were walking into battle and he told them it was a field trip.

Did he even begin to explain the danger he was putting these kids in? Did the children understand their situation? And how dangerous it was?

Kayla has been blindsided over the years into thinking that telling children they're going on a field trip instead of fighting a battle is something to make a joke of and not be questioned... (Again, I don't blame her she's only like 12 in the book, but still)

Apollo also agrees, which isn't on Chiron but it's a whole mother reason why I can't stand Rick's interpretation of Apollo...

<><><><><>

This isn't me being like "oh Chiron is the worst most evil character ever" I just think that he has numerous flaws which are largely ignored in favor of the "perfect wise teacher" narrative when in fact Chiron and Dumbledore share a lot of.. Offputting qualities.

I do think that some of the situation is simply a result of Chiron having his hands tied behind his back by the gods some. And he even goes so far as to confirm this in a scene of TLT

However many of the scenes in which he exhibits behaviors like that in my first three screenshots are not related to anything the gods require and are, in fact, of Chiron's own free will.

Some things I would blame Zeus and the council for, such as how he withholds information from Percy to an excessive amount for long periods of time even when Percy straight up asks about things. I could easily see that being Zeus trying to prevent Percy from claiming the prophecy as his own, and I could see reasoning that maybe Chiron had sworn over the River Styx or something similar.

But those things don't apply to Chiron making such an unnecessary comment about Percy's mother so close to her "death". It doesn't explain why he would say he hoped Nico had been eaten out loud, and it doesn't cover the fact that he led children into a battlefield without telling them that's what was happening.

I think the context of Chiron's choices and comments would be different if the campers were older. If they were in their late teens or early twenties for the most part, I wouldn't really have much to say about how Chiron handled the situation.

But this man is in charge of children and extremely young teenagers, Percy is only 12 in TLT, maybe if he would have been 16 or 17 then I could give Chiron a pass, but he wasn't. Within the context of the comment he made in the Titan's Curse, Percy is only 14 and Nico is 10 at the beginning of the book... You don't wish a 10 year old had been eaten alive by a monster no matter how bad you think the alternative is, and if you do wish that you don't say it out loud to a group of other children. In the battle from Tower of Nero we get a quick look at the battlefield, and although Ben's age, and the age of another girl fighting alongside him are never confirmed they are implied to be fairly young, and we know Kayla is only 12 at the time too; yet Chiron told them it was a field trip instead of a battle, limiting the time they would have to mentally prepare themselves for what was coming.

On top of that, the nods the reader gets to the fact that Chiron can't act out against the gods depletes over the course of the series. After TLT the amount of times the situation involves the gods interfering with what Chiron is allowed to say lessens, and by the time the Heroes of Olympus series comes around, these limitations on his speech is almost entirely gone. Yet as seen in Tower of Nero he still does morally questionable things in regards to how he treats the campers.

Like I said, I recognize that in many scenes Chiron's hands are tied behind his back because of the gods.. But there are undeniably things he does of his own free will that are, in the nicest manner, very :/

This also isn't a full list of comparisons just a few notable scenes. I don't think Chiron is equally as bad as Dumbledore, but I think it undeniable that Chiron has some significant flaws built into his character design.

A good character has flaws, and there's nothing wrong with having a character that doesn't always conduct themselves properly or have good intentions- it's actually good writing, and I can appreciate that, but for some reason I find myself personally rubbed the wrong way by Chiron. This doesn't make Chiron badly written, or poorly designed, in fact I would say Rick's Chiron is very well designed in lots of ways, but I just don't like how it's never acknowledged by anyone in the series.

Like I said, I'm not starting an anti-Chiron situation, I just think little events like those mentioned, the way he's built a child army, and how he doesn't even try to plead with the gods over raising the ages on campers being allowed to battle is a little sus. But it more so bothers me that there's no attention payed to this problem anywhere in the books, not even by a side character or Luke, nowhere.

I don't actually care that much and this isn't that important to me, but sometimes people ask why I don't like Chiron and this is basically just my explanation to hand off to them... It's not even so much that I dislike Chiron entirely, he's well written and has his "good" moments, I just don't like the way other characters interact with him and his actions.

It's more a personal beef with him rather than an aspect of poor writing or him "being bad"... PJO in general (and HoO/ToA to a much lesser extent) shows that there's not such an inherent good vs bad in the world, and that sometimes people are victims of circumstances in some situations, or they're horribly misguided in their actions, but the series does a good job of showing those people as human still, and I applaud that.

I don't really know how to tie this up in its entirety, but there's nothing wrong with having a morally grey character who does questionable things and in many aspects it is good writing. I think Chiron is a result of Rick not thinking through the implications what he's doing in lots of situations, and I can see a fairly consistent drop in Chiron's characterization from PJO-ToA which is consistent with most other aspects of Rick's work.

I also want to clarify that if you like Chiron and disagree with me, that's absolutely 110% okay, I just personally dislike Chiron and that's on me. Like my problem with many of Rick's other immortal characters, I think he missed important aspects of them in some manner and slightly (or entirely in some cases) mischaracterized them in comparison to their original myths.. Some of these characters he came around on and fixed their character in many aspects to their more "correct" characterization (like Hera), while others (like Chiron and Apollo) he never quite figured them out. Which is a running complaint I have with Rick so I'm just adding this to his tab.

But yeah, I don't hate Chiron I just dislike him and those are different things, and I don't think it's a bad thing to have a morally questionable character, Chiron just personally rubs me the wrong way and I just wanted to explain that more fully because I've been asked about it multiple times.

Also I apologize for not adding a [read more] to this, it's a complaint of mine often when scrolling through the tags but I'm on mobile currently and don't have immediate access to a computer so~

[zodiyack]

In Regards Of My Apology

Pairing: Niklaus Mikaelson x Female!Reader

Warnings: Angst?

Words: 1,174

Summary: Y/n misses her husband so much that it affects her visibly. Rebekah allows her to rant about it then schemes with Elijah. Before Klaus knows it, his older brother and younger sister are before him with an important message.

Note: I’ve decided I’m gonna do three parts, which. on that topic, part three will be released soon! 

Taglist: @matth1w​, @redspaceace-writes​, @fandom-puff​, @darling-i-read-it​, @simonsbluee​, @sebastianstanslefteyebrow​, @dpaccione​, @jenepleurepasbaby​

Masterlist | The Originals Masterlist

Part One. Part Two. Part Three.

His castle, really the Mikaelson home, was deserted apart from himself. Every day, the weight of his guilt daunted him. Too stubborn to straight away admit his foolishness, even to his wife, he sat in the lonely home of the Mikaelsons. It wasn’t like he didn’t wish he could reverse what he’d done, nor did he believe he wasn’t in the wrong. Klaus was just...Klaus.

On the other hand, Y/n was surrounded by the people she loved, minus her husband. Elijah and Rebekah were constantly checking on her and rarely did they speak of Klaus. The one time Davina tried to bring him up, all three older women stared her down and shook their heads urgently. It was like he was a forbidden topic, a man who’s name was no longer something allowed to be mentioned if you so much as valued your life.

However, it was quite the opposite with Y/n. Whilst she appreciated their caring company and loving gestures, she had no problem talking of her husband. In fact, she wanted to talk about him. Y/n desperately wanted to figure out the whole situation so she could be resting beside him in their shared bed every night again rather than the uncomfortable one provided by Marcel. She was grateful, but she yearned for the love of her life.

Each time she tried to talk about him, someone was quick to interject. Eventually she gave up, but when she hadn’t heard from him for a few months, she began to grow ill with worry. She couldn’t literally get ill as a member of the undead but it did affect her drastically. It wasn’t long before the others started to notice.

“Y/n, dear, are you alright?” Rebekah paused in place, concern lacing her knitted eyebrows as she set down the teacup she was about to pour the hot water in.

“Hm? Oh, yes, I suppose I’m fine.” Her lie wasn’t nearly as convincing as Klaus deemed Aurora’s to be, which was saying a lot.

Rebekah new better than to listen to her sister-in-law at this time. “What’s bothering you, love?”

But then, that was the problem. If Y/n were to tell anyone who was watching over her while she tried so hard to get back on her feet and recover from her fight with her husband that he was what was on her mind incessantly, they were surely to shut her down instantaneously. She hadn’t tried her luck in some time, over being interrupted again and again.

“It’s nothing...”

“No, no, no. Unless ‘nothing’ is making you look like utterly useless trash, no offense, then it is something.” She crossed her arms and leaned her hip into the counter with a sigh. “So, tell me what the ‘something’ is.”

Although Y/n doubted Rebekah would let her bring up Klaus, even for a second, she decided it was worth a try. “Well...if you really want to know-”

“I do.”

“Then,” she inhaled deeply, exhaling slowly as she prepared to voice the source of her troubled thoughts, “it’s about Nik.” Y/n waited, watching Rebekah intensely, waiting for her to interfere and change the topic. But she never did.

The Blond looked around for a second, then back to Y/n, “Are you going to continue or are you just going to leave me in the dark?”

“You’re...not going to stop me?”

“No. If he has you this distressed, we might as well solve the problem instead of letting you dwell in it.” Rebekah moved forward, pulling out a chair and sitting across from Y/n. “Now. Do continue.”

“Uh- Alright.” And so Y/n explained to her sister-in-law, as though she were her personal therapist, the distress she felt, the weight of their first large and unsolved fight a burden on her shoulders like Atlas and the world. In truth, she had taken up the role and become rather serious about it. 

“Well, what do you think we ought to do about it?”

“I- We?”

“Did I stutter? Or did vampirism not amplify your hearing the way it should’ve?” Despite her sarcasm, she waited for an answer, but when one did not come, she chuckled a bit. “It’s the same as the last time. I have your back. We all have your back, so, if you’re going to do something about it, so am I.”

Both Rebekah and Elijah were the first to enter the forgotten Mikaelson palace in the time since the king and queen parted ways. Klaus reigned terror more than before, threatening people because he felt like it, doing things to quell his anger even though he knew full well that the satisfaction it gave him was only temporary until he had his queen back. Klaus was just as broken as Y/n and it was only when he was in the darkest place of months without her, did he fully take in Hayley’s words and actually give an effort to see the truth.

It was true, Y/n was loyal to a fault, and yet, he believed the woman turned out to be just as evil as her brother and Lucien in plotting against the Originals. He was vengeful when he found it out, putting an end to their plan and their existences with the help of his family and some friends. That was the last time he’d seen them since then.

“Thank you, Elijah.” His voice quivered.

Elijah pulled at his cuffs slightly, then looked at his brother with dead emotion. “This is the last time I will be by your side until you realize your wrong doings and do the thing you know you must. Until then, brother.”

As Elijah walked past him, he bumped Klaus’ shoulder harshly. He couldn’t help but freeze, tears filling his eyes as his gaze remained glued to the ground.

Snapping out of the memory, Klaus wiped his tears away.

“Alas, he finally returns to reality.”

His head snapped around, eyes wide and still watery. “You came back-”

“But not for you.” Elijah was quick to put an end to any hope of his siblings trust Klaus had left. “Niklaus, do tell me, have you any remorse for what burdens you have placed upon your wife?”

“Oh...” Klaus realized the true meaning of his siblings’ arrival, the guilt swimming around his gut only intensifying.

“Oh indeed, Nik. She’s ready to forgive whenever you’re ready to apologize.”

“Are you here to help me?”

Rebekah laughed, “No, I’m afraid you’re the one who made the mess, so you’re the one who must clean the mess. We’re simply the messengers, dear brother.” She smiled with false sweetness, then turned and paced out of the room.

Elijah, once again left alone with his younger brother, uttered his wise words of advice before he too left for the second time. “I do wish you take Hayley’s words to mind, Niklaus. It would do not only you, but your wife some good.” By the door was where he stopped one final time. “Mind you, if you truly love her,” he paused, “you’d do what is right.”