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Writing a weird Remnant!Fuyuhiko x Kamukura story, and I don't know how I feel about it yet. I'll post it if I decide I like it lol.
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HELPP i found out about character AIs and im losing it over calling deltarune sans "a more manipulative personality" 😭😭 like whatt we've only seen this man like 2 times
sorry im being a hater hgfjdks but you're the sans understander
lmaoo character.ai, look where the fall of ai dungeon got us, smh. thank you for the compliment though!
#i think those ai chaeracter rps are goofy as hell#i've played around with them a few times to see what it was all about. they play up the personalization too much it's not THAT customizable#i tried feeding it some sans lines back when i was doing the rp to see if the machine was capable of identifying his speaking style#since i'd essentially done the same thing just manually. i wanted to see how good it could get it#huge disappointment as predicted#i WILL give character.ai one thing though. hilariously not for its characters. there's this one tool called brainstorming that's super hand#you throw ideas/concepts at it & it throws back clarifying questions based on what you sent in. like playing tennis against a wall#essentially a dynamic version of those writing tip lists like what's the significance of this event for x. what conflict arises etc#optimally this is stuff you do with a friend. and truly nothing beats brainstorming with another writer. honest.#but if you're fully throwing spaghetti at the wall in the roughest stages of an idea it's a quick way to cycle through some basic what-ifs#pretty fun toy all things considered. but it stops being useful the moment things start shaping up forreal#answered asks
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learning to code!
When I was 9 years old, I learned enough html to code neopets pages, my own geocities websites, and I even made forums on my own sites so my friends could all roleplay together or rant together lol. And then? I forgot so much. I no longer no how to make a forum, or even a 'next page' button - so even the dream of just making a simple blog or webnovel site feels like a huge hurdle now. (9 year old me could probably figure it out in 2 hours).
So I'm relearning! I figured this would be a fun post to place resources I find for coding, since there's coding languages, and I figure maybe if you like running you're blog then you also might be interested in tools for making blogs!
First, for those of you who miss the old geocities and angelfire type of sites to make your own free site on: neocities.org
You can make free sites you can code yourself, the way 9 year old me did. A lot of people have made SUCH amazing sites, it's baffling my mind trying to figure out how they did, I definitely wish I could make an art portfolio site even a fourth as cool as some of the sites people have made on here.
And for those pressed for time, who aren't about to learn coding right now: wix.com is the place I recommend for building a site, it requires no coding skill and is fairly straightforward about adding pages or features by clicking buttons. I used it to make my art portfolio site, I am testing out using it for my webnovel - the alternative is Wordpress, but wix.com is letting me basically make a wordpress blog Inside my own site. It's very beginner friendly in terms of "how the fuck do I set up a 'sign up for updates' message and have my site actually email these people my novel updates?" and "I need a 4x20 grid of my art down the page, that lets people click the art to see it's information and make it bigger."
I did neocities.org's little html tutorial today, it's the part of html I DID remember (links, paragraphs, headers).
My next step is to go through htmldog.com's tutorials. They go from beginner, to intermediate, to CSS. Unlike many a coding tutorial I've seen, they explain what program on your computer you need to WRITE the code in and then how to save it and how to open it. (You'd think this isn't a big deal but I've been looking into how to learn Python for months and I can't find a tutorial explaining what fucking program to write my python in... notepad? do I need something else? I don't fucking know!! My dad finally gave me a printed textbook which supposedly tells you what to download to start... I learned C++ in college and for that you needed Visual Basic to code C++, so I figured I needed Something to Write the fucking python IN.)
#coding#rant#wooh my new CODING TAG#learning to code#i feel very. odd if im honest?#i genuinely knew how to build full fucking forum websites as a child including user sign ups#and i studied Computer Science Engineering in college so i did everything with C++ we were asked to and got As#and then i promptly BLOCKED IT OUT because i#HATED studying c++ SO fucking much. i hated my whole major. i did not like Engineering. i hated it. i was so mentally destroyed#by my college major that when i graduated i got a DIFFERENT job#and do NOTHING related to my major#i want to get into a more tech focused career eventually...since that is what my fucking degree is in#but i've been looking into something with less coding OR trying to teach myself#to like coding as long as its not fucking c++ again... i cant do it. too many bad memories#i think cybersecurity sounds like a fun job.#but u know me. im a person who likes knowing the BASICS#so i feel like i need to Relearn to code and learn python decently#before i try to study cybersecurity specific shit
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Jetty and I adding flavor to a local wedding
#i love this dress#its basically my wedding guest dress#i suppose thanks to verb and cockatiel#since i bought it because i was nervous nothing i had was appropriate to an english wedding#based on what i was reading online#i had it made for me and it cost a few coins but i have never ever regretted it#its one of my favorites
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rough draft for chapter 2 of my zelda comic has finally been COMPLETED! current page count is 68, but that can change as im going through, cutting and redoing panels and all
i will start (trying) to render the first pages soon (its been so long ...)
#ganondoodles talks#a large chunk of the later pages havent been proofread yet#i hope someone will give me some feedback before i get to those#no one has been answering for a long time now and i worry a little#i dont wanna demand anything of anyone though since they agreed to do it for basically nothing in return#idk what to do about it#would asking if anyone else wants to join be disrespectful?#this comic is very dear to me so it would have to be someone i know at least a little which is difficult#BC I AM SO BAD AT TALKING TO PEOPLE#AND at keeping in contact#so like ............. idk#maybe im just gonna go for it and if its wrong i guess its wrong xD
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something something identity something something culture
#jumblr#jewblr#i dunno if this is the kind of thing that really belongs on my silly blog but ive been wanting to draw it for two days#this is just about feeling connection to culture#and i dunno i know the whole 'is judaism considered a race' thing is iffy as all hell#because it IS an ethnic group and i see it in basically every bloodline person ive met#there is a familiar look#our grandparents and babies look the exact same#of course converts are lovely and welcome and i'm not gatekeeping#but so long of just being like 'who am i? ah. i am nobody#i am a white girl from california who knows nothing of nothing' is a drastic understatement#i've dealt with anti semitism since i was a child#it has been everywhere#not many people understand it because its just...well we dont look that different (to the people who matter) (bad people can tell right awa#the immeasurable trauma of the holocaust and the weight of our grandparents and everything else is just so crushing...AND we look caucasian#is there no fate worse??? lmao#not saying i'm not caucasian of course i think two things can be true at once#but i think meeting someone and realizing we have the same face and with it faced the same hardship is really really meaningful#because to just say i'm some 'stupid white girl from california' is a butchering undercut of everything i actually am
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Erin, to her crush: You're a dick
Mason, the crush: I won't argue! But to clarify -
#my characters#its so sad that all of erins character development and kindness is on paper and nothing digital to show her growth#she picks on mason for many reasons and she kinda narrows her eyes at him but its more to squint than to glare#because she watches him from a distance when hes off laughing with others#though they are united on peter being worse than mason at least they can agree no matter what peter is worse#but also masons right arm is metal and she thinks its fascinating bc theres so many high tech prosthetics#why is he using the equivalent of a trash can ? is it some weird flex to not needing advanced stuff?#and its just he was from a poor family and was born with one full arm and then a stump#and he lived a lot of his youth with just one arm so once he got a second arm (installed basically) he went cheap#since he only wanted the other arm to get better jobs cause not many people would hire him with one arm#and he never really cared much about her comments because her lil verbal pokes of#so rogers whod you piss off? the mafia? is actually nicer than stuff he heard as a kid without the fake arm#so he tells her the only reason he has a metal limb is because god knew hed be two strong if born with two arms#and shes like uh huh sure thing rogers#and yeeeeah eventually something happens where mason is injured and erin is panicking#and hes acting like its okay to die because hes a dick remember TRYING to make light of it and she gets so sad#and after hes recovering and better he feels guilty making her so sad and hes talking to her#and she says that she doesnt have a lot of friends and she didnt want to lose one of the few people she liked#and hes just oh.......................... ididntthinkthatwouldbeme#so he starts to be super friendly to her and enforcing the crush that she doesnt wanna own up to#and then she does eventually confess and mason is baffled as to since when and shes like day one? and he just#erin you have got to be kidding me you were glaring at me for months#and shes just i have bad eye sight and im shy what did you expect#he isnt super smart or super stupid hes just exceedingly average
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so the most recent post from you reminded me- you're not a zosan fan (neither am I tbh) so what DO you support for sanji (in terms of ships or HCs)
I had to sit on this for a bit since I got home but I do have a few ride or dies so we can start there.
SanUso numero um campeao del mundo!! I love love love sanuso so much.... they have a number of really good scenes together and I'm so tired or I'd try and pull them up but off the top of my head in Water 7 when Sanji worries about if Usopp will come back, and earlier in the arc with Enies Lobby calling Usopp their sniper and getting very excited to see him back...
If Oda wasn't a coward post ts or at least post wci Sanji would be fat. Fatness and weight gain as healing is so important and thematically fits for Sanji as a character especially with all of his backstory but alas.
In terms of gender/sexuality I'm pretty fluid on what I headcanon for him. As long as it makes sense for the scenario I don't care all that much. I know bisexual is really common as a hc for him which is great! I also see him as tentatively genderfluid but I don't think he really knows how to articulate it. Probably with weird food and cooking metaphors.
And the last thing I'm going to say because I'm me and its impossible for me to talk about anything without mentioning Enstars but I think he and Niki share similar worldviews when it comes to food, especially when it comes to feeding the needy, what with Sanji giving Gin the food in Baratie despite being enemies and Niki taking in a strange teenage Rinne he found on the street because he looked hungry and both Gin and Rinne feel indebted to their chefs and saviors. I would love to see a One Piece and Ensemble Stars collab with them specifically someday and not just because they're my favorites from each franchise....
#asks#anonymous#not sanji#<- well kinda sanji but not the panels of him#also. well i wont say nothing against zosan bc i do have Some Things against it#but idc if you ship it and follow me. its not problematic or anything#but i think it falls really hard into two conventionally attractive guys with a rivalry being shipped together#bc it feels like they should be. skk from bungou stray dogs feels this same way to me#in that i think their actual in universe dynamic is leagues more important ESPECIALLY#since the panels where sanji and zoro basically try to sacrifice themselves for luffy#and zoro knocks sanji out just got posted on here.#both zosan and skk are much more interesting to me from a non romantic lens....#i also see zoro as very aromantic and not interested in relationships of the romantic nature#i can see him being alloaro but he is not fucking sanji that's all i am going to say on that topic#well anyway hope this is interesting at least. i need to put more posts in the queue now so i'm gonna do that!
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while im online though will say was there ever any kind of excuse or explanation given as to why vaggie didn't seem to understand angelic steel could harm angels despite everything? i think a lot of the plot holes in these shows can be talked around with enough headcanon (that's not a good thing, but most aren't as egregious is what i mean) but that's the one i've always been baffled made it into the show at all with how glaring it is. ik vivzie likes to word-of-god things a lot but i'm pretty disconnected from anything that isn't literally in the shows themselves so i wonder a lot if they ever tried to patchwork-fix that. its just so unbelievable to me that somehow made it through the entire production process
#hazbin hotel critical#i guess the lore surrounding like. how death and injury works in the afterlife is vague#perhaps intentionally. so they do have wiggle room. or just to hope ppl dont think too hard about it#i know basically nothing about the word of god lore stuff since i dont watch livestreams or rly consume any of this stuff#outside of whats in the show. i wasnt even a fan prior im just evil (likes talking about this stuff)#but the vaggie thign is the one major thing i just cannot understand how its just. in the show. literally 0 sense#was that the first draft of a rewrite or something and they ran out of time so they had to commit?#baffled. truly baffled
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Ik two days gone isn't a huge deal to other people but it is to me, since I feel like I woke up in a completely different world. It felt wrong to come back and blog and act like nothing happened, re: current events. I still feel pretty numb and empty about it all, along with many other emotions. I couldn't bring myself to look at any social media bcs it was like rubbing salt in the wound, and it still feels like its take a bit before I'm gonna be able to truly enjoy all the things I enjoy again. I was gonna write some long post about my feelings about it all but, I feel like atp I'd rather just try to indulge in what makes me happy I guess. Thankfully the fomo of not getting to commentate on all the F1 things that have happened have brought me out of the anxious slump I was in(new driver?? GPDA??? Zhou out??? Send me posts???)
On a completely unrelated note. Anyone interested in adoption?
#icl i took a long nap by accident and woke up feeling better#not completely undepressed and unanxious like the nightmare mental state ive had since monday basically#but more at ease i guess#idk ik i don't owe anything to anyone but#it felt weird to reblog anything and not address this#and also its still going to be a while till seeing things about what happened dont make me immensely upset#as i said. salt in the wound.#i know i know two days is nothing in the scheme of things but it is to me#even though i feel like i absolutely have to make this post before i feel comfortable reblogging and indulging#i still feel like people are gonna find this overly dramatic and annoying so. please don't thanks :)#like usually i just doomscroll when im upset but this was just total lack of interest#and anxiety about literally doing anything i like#so to be able to get out of that is good. and i must say it for my own peace of mind#i just cannot engage at all w the news and that kinda thing so its made me really anxious to scroll anything#gah. even thinking about scrolling even just to read about f1 things is making me very anxious#catie.rambling.txt
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I am literally obsessed with everything you do that involves sifloop you are THE sifloop artist to me
thank you!!! it means a lot to hear that haha
I've been like... near exclusively an OC artist for like 8 years at this point so every time i post fanart and ESPECIALLY ship art i feel like i have to fight every screaming cell in my body to post it because i feel like... RUDE? for projecting my own thoughts onto another creator's characters LMAO... so it's reassuring to know people actually like what i'm contributing!!
as for sifloop as a ship. i really should draw more isiloops because . rotates all three of them in my mind. but yeah. I think the thing I like most about the dynamic really is the like... way Siffrin and Loop canonically aggress each other despite an extremely persistent undercurrent of caring about the other not suffering.
Like. the back and forth between Loop constantly talking past/through Siffrin to really painfully insult the pair of them, and things like the [Forgetting Mirabelle's Name] event being so astoundingly gentle. just as a general example. (RNG event that only triggers after certain actions so you may need to look it up)
THEN adding the element of throwing them in postcanon with neither of them wanting to upset the party and thus having to keep a lid on it... I like the potential dynamics of such a painful and conflicted relationship having to be almost hidden and downplayed so as to try and not worry anyone, and thus becoming softer and introspective while still keeping a bunch of the more insidiously toxic behaviour.
Both of them acting with genuine best intentions in mind but still understanding each other to have way *way* more sadness and anger and guilt than they let on, and thus being able to clock it. Both for good and ill. Neither of them enjoy confrontation, but it's almost unavoidable when they KNOW the other knows what they're probably thinking.
. but yeah i just think they're neat! also a bunch of stuff related to asexuality but . shh
#also since. well. i dont know where else im gonna put this. because its CERTAINLY not going in the body of the text#an early way i worded my reading of Loop's characterisation when talking to my friends was:#'Loop is sexually frustrated in the same way as a poorly kept parrot'#WHICH SOUNDS INSANE but hear me out. if you know things about parrots you know they'll imprint on their owners. and it ruins their brains#parrots like this will see humans as potential mates and get AGGRESSIVE when nothing is happening! because... they aren't human.#the 'sexual' part of my reading is a bit of shock hyperbole but i basically mean they are socially/romantically/etc frustrated in this way#they are asexual obviously (... as am i for the record). but yknow. they and siffrin are both still ravenous for physical touch.#and loop... no longer being human. having that disconnect. BEING human FEELING human. but not being.#as well as literally physically lacking the ability for certain things. (staunch 'loop has no mouth and cannot kiss' truther here)#+ i think this is FASCINATING in context of both Siffrin and Loop's asexuality. its something i like thinking about.#two freaks who want intimacy but not in the 'normal' way. again as an ace myself. i think abt it#lucabytetalks#isat spoilers#sifloop
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thinking abt the ggy easter eggs rn
#im so ready for whateber theyre cooking#this is like the only era rn where the sw games arent interesting me rn im so ready to want to engage again#plz focus on ggy vanny gregory vanessa cassie and not cassie dad mapbot dying absent father doing nothintnfor the story#and a game based totally off of books instead of the other way around#i really hope SW games dont become super tftp oriented#as in they make games based off of books instead of the other way around#that would suck majorly#a ggy game would be new content based off of game lore that does exist for ggy and not the book#like patient 46 and his canonical mysterious past#plus everything the tapes said he did#it could be so good#i really want to just see like. any progression of the story#outside of very basic ideas like 'vanny cassie' that are probably going to happen but are so bare bones#theres not much you can think about#insyead of useless plots like cassies dad. sorry but its true if hes the hw2 story he does nothing#nothing that cassie couldnt have also done if shes the protag#i know that sotm has to happen before they can progress so im being patient#but man#i hope we get more stuff like ruin that has good linear on screen storytelling and is more character oriented#everybody liked ruin but not everyone likes sotm#when hw2 came out i saw soo many opinions not just by me and the moots or something but just#fans on twitter diehard or casual#that hated how hw2s story was handled#people actually want storytelling now at sb and ruins scale instead of old school barely comprehensible frustrating lore#thats what sotm feels like its leaning into and im not excited#i hope its a one time thing since its a good chance to do that#a game that already takes place in the og fnaf days#before it even#of course its a good idea to put old school easter eggs and characters and story and stuff of the og days#i just miss my guys :(
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Regularly frustrated by the fact that most of my fixations aren't mainstream enough to have much in the way of official merch, but for the sake of both my sanity and my wallet, that's probably a good thing
#GG ironically is probably the biggest#but a lot of it (or at least the characters I like) is still either really old and hard to find or requires a shitton of import fees#got into a bit of a rabbit hole of videos abt what smash bros characters have figures/plushies#baffling to see that Little Mac hasn't really had much of anything at all since the 80's#and those were of dubious quality anyway...#ARMS basically never got anything in general#katamari was pretty much always niche Japanese stuff aside from like two things that got released with the reroll series#I think psychonauts got a little pool of stuff from fangamer but that's still mostly art iirc#frontier is the black sheep of digimon so there's like nothing for that either#I suppose bugsnax had a little despite being an indie game#shoutout to my big sister for buying me the Filbo doll as a christmas present#sly's got zilch aside from the really limited funko afaik#I suppose my main vice is pokemon#no shortage there#but my favorite pokemon is fucking trubbish so we're not on the level of pikachu here#(yes I own the sitting cutie trubbish and he's my special little boy)#hmm.#street fighter is a pretty big series isn't it?#somehow I haven't looked much into its merch#outside of trying to find the little standee figure they made for bosch#perhaps I will regret it#christ even my favorite disney movie is the one that never gets any merch of it#I'm not sure if I'm very lucky or incredibly unlucky#op back on her bullshit
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on god if its my happy marriage please keep watching if only to get to the fucking shonen anime super power reveal. the way my jaw DROPPED. I did not enjoy the anime but it did have my full attention by that point.
I'm sorry the what???? She has the powers of a shonen anime or does he have the powers of a shonen anime?? please I don't think I can continue watching this show don't tempt me with stupid anime nonsense
#ask#anon#dammit do i continue watching#but shes so bland#its so hard#especially since i just finished both lessons in chemistry and the apothecary diaries#im on a feminist high rn#a female mc being interesting weird kick#honestly this is my own fault#what a horrible time to start this anime#i was looking for a wee bit of romance#but not this type of “we want every member of our audience to be able to project onto our mc so she's basically a nothing character” type#anyone know what im looking for
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FINALLY I DRAW SOMETHING!!!!!!!
some Joseph, both young (around 1980 i'd say, when he was traveling w Stan a few years before the portal incident) and old (~2017, now an art teacher at Westchester High). i like to think the first one is a picture Stan took of him while they were traveling and the second one is his staff photo at WH. the more things change the more they stay the same. i might give em backgrounds and foregrounds to look like that
he's had that jacket since the 70s. real leather will last you.
no glasses alts + the first sketch below
#[holding him in my hands like a tiny baby bird]#idk if hes hiding something on his neck. he might be. those neck covers just happened. probably less embarrassing than Ford's tattoos thoug#also im not super interested in “what if Stan had a romance partner who helped him run the shack” type Stan/oc buuuuuuuut#unfortunately i am not immune to old man yaoi and have been thinking “ok BUT what if Jojo helped Stan run the shack” during this rewatch#i think theyre not super open about their relationship so Dipper & Mabel have no idea until the manotaur ep when Mabel realizes “woah......#“Grunkle Stan do you have a crush on Grunkle Jojo???”#[Joseph so called Grunkle Jojo bc “we've known each other long enough hes basically family”]#anyway Mabel tries to “fix Stan up” to help him ask him out & Jojo is fully aware its happening and says nothing bc Funny#they do tell her and Dipper at the end of the day bc since she went through all that trouble trying to set em up they should know#plus kids these days tend to be a lot nicer about gay people sometimes#also good: Jojo giving Stan A Look every time he's shitty or sexist but otherwise not caring about any other morally dubious/bad thing#like Jojo can excuse regular tax fraud/stealing/scamming people but he draws the line at almost getting Waddles eaten by a dinosaur#hes the worlds most “not my circus not my monkeys” moral compass#hes said that before. and Dipper points out that it IS his circus bc he helps run the shack#to which he responds “hah. yeah :)” bc he helps do the fraud and scams <3#fuck i have to draw that as a comic or fake screenshots or something#anyway im not planning on focusing on a Mr's Mysteries AU but i may talk about it occasionally#ANYWAY ANYWAY i wanna talk about him i love talking about him send some asks let me talk about him <3#oc: Joseph van Dyke
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When it comes to hygiene tasks and self care with disability and chronic illness, its pretty much a constant case of: don't let perfect be the enemy of the good.
Basically: it's better to do something, than to do nothing at all.
TLDR: Just because you can't do something "properly" doesn't mean you shouldn't do it at all. Do it half-way. Do it shitty. Do it barely. Do it on a technicality. But do what you can. Just try, because doing something will help you.
If you don't have the energy to scrub your body with a sponge, just rub soap over your skin with your hands.
If you don't have the energy to wash your whole body with soap, just hit the places where sweat accumulates, or where you're smelliest.
If you don't have the energy to wash with soap AT ALL, just sitting in water is better than nothing. It will wash away dirt and oils.
If you can't bathe or shower at all, a warm wash cloth is your new best friend. If that's too much, then try bath wipes. They're a bit bigger than regular wet wipes, and a bit more heavy duty. They're designed to help keep bed ridden patients clean in hospitals.
If you don't have the energy to dry yourself after a bath or a shower, just put on a bathrobe and get into bed. If you don't have the energy to get dressed afterwards, just don't. It can wait until you can.
If you don't have energy to brush your teeth for two minutes, honestly, just a cursory scrub is better than not doing anything.
If you can't brush your teeth twice a day, brush in the evenings. It will help take away the build up of food from the day.
If you don't have the energy to brush AT ALL, honestly, just take a cloth and wipe the plaque off your teeth. Rinse with mouth wash after if you'd like. Something is always better than nothing.
If you can't floss twice a day. Try once. If that's too much, try a few times a week. If that's too much, try setting aside a day once a week as a goal. If you can't keep a schedule, do it when you're able to. Hell, I keep some floss next to my bed so that if I forget and don't have the energy to go get it, I can just reach over.
If you can't iron your clothes, don't bother. Wrinkles are fine. Wear jumpers over wrinkly t-shirts. No one will know, and honestly, most people won't even care. If it's really wrinkly and it's A Big Deal And It Needs To Be Ironed, here's my life hack. Step 1: take a spray bottle, and spritz the item of clothing (while you're wearing it is easiest) until it's lightly damp. Step 2: use a hair-dryer on the clothes until they're dry. It gets rid of creases like nobody's business, it's easier than lugging out the iron and ironing board, and you get to have nice toasty warm clothes afterwards.
If you can't fold your clothes, try just hanging them up. It's less commitment. It's quicker to do. Granted, you need to have the space in order to do this, but it is also good at helping you downsize, and lets you visualise exactly what you have.
If you can't put your clothes away, invest in a couple of laundry baskets, and then just keep your clean clothes in the baskets. You can then separate washed clothes into underwear, pants, and shirts baskets. You can just leave them like that. I'm giving you permission to never fold your laundry again if you can't. Just leave it unfolded. Who's going to care? Something is better than nothing. If you can, try to put those baskets into your closet so that you can keep the clutter out of sight, and give yourself a more restful environment.
If you can't separate your clothing out into different categories and wash them "properly" (whites, warm tones, cool tones, darks, delicates / switching between hot & cold washes / paying attention to laundry instructions on the label) then just don't worry about it. If you cold wash your clothes, colours won't bleed. Maybe gradually over the course of dozens of washes there'll be some changes in hue, but it's really not as high stakes as the One Red Sock In The Whites Turns Them Pink trope makes it out to be.
I've pretty much come to the point in my life where if a piece of clothing can't survive the washer and dryer, then it's just not meant to be. I colour separate my clothes, and if I have the energy/remember I'll take my bras and jumpers out of the washing machine to drip dry. But otherwise, I leave it to the universe.
If you can't separate out your recycling, then don't. If you have a large amount of rubbish you need to get rid of but the idea of separating it out properly is stopping you from doing so, then just don't worry about it. I know it's not ideal, but if you have garbage in your room/house and you need to get rid of it, please just get rid of it. Don't let the problem get bigger and harder to deal with. Don't let "doing something properly" get in the way of keeping your living spaces clean. Please. Give yourself understanding.
If you can't wash your dishes, get paper plates. Obviously, it's not ideal, but it is better that you eat food than skipping meals. It is better that you have a clean kitchen, rather than having dishes piling up and making it harder to look after yourself.
If you can't prepare meals for yourself keep making the tasks easier and easier. If you can't do recipes, then simplify. Use pasta sauce from the jar instead of making it. Eat canned soup. Buy food you can just stick in the oven. If you eat fish fingers and microwave veggies every night, it's better than not eating anything at all. It's better than having to fork out money on take-out. If you need ready-made meals, then get them. If you're literally just eating a raw cauliflower for dinner; 1) I see you, 2) me too, sis, 3) something is better than nothing.
These are the basic things you need to do every day to function as a person. They are your activities of daily living. Brushing your teeth. Bathing or showering. Using the bathroom. Getting dressed. Eating. Drinking. Sleeping. Keeping your environment clean. You don't need to do these things perfectly, but they need to happen in order for you to have a decent quality of life.
And it breaks my heart, because I know that so many disabled people can't do these things every day. I'm not saying this to guilt or judge, I'm saying that these are basic needs; you deserve these things. These things bring dignity. If a disabled person is unable to do these things, it diminishes their quality of life. It robs them of dignity.
If you need help to do these things, Its okay to ask for help. It's okay to need help. But if you can't get that help and you have to do these things by yourself -- or you just plain want to be independent and do it without help-- then don't hold yourself to standards you can't meet.
Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Even if it's not perfect. Even if it's not done well. Do what you can.
#lord knows that im still trying to pull myself out of the muck and into independence and dignity#i had to set a rule for myself that i need to wear clean clothes every day. and that i need to wear pyjamas to bed#that one's been hard. sometimes I dont have the energy to do it and i just stay in the same clothes for two days at a time#or i go to sleep in what i was wearing. but when i do follow that rule my quality of life is drastically better#not feeling dirty or gross goes a long way to making you feel more like a person#i also made a rule that im not allowing myself to look frumpy outside anymore. that means clothes that look nice#no more trackies and pj pants and all that stuff. i basically lived in perpetual pyjamas for four years and im over it#i still dress comfortably but the important thing is that i dress. i look put together. i wear things that make me happy#(and i didnt need to buy anything to do so. i just needed to start taking better care of myself)#and i stopped letting perfect be the enemy of the good. i started doing things shitty rather than not doing it at all#and the more i keep pushing with my ADLs the better i feel#what helps is now i dont have to contend with stairs and that has made a dramatic change to what im able to accomplish#ive also finally built up enough strength in my body that im able to go to the shops by myself. so i can buy things to make easy meals#and mum doesnt mind if i just put some things in the oven or air fryer for us for dinner.#i still cant really cook. i felt bad about that for the longest time. i didnt even try bc i knew what id make would be disappointing#or it wouldnt be up to the standards of what everyone else was making. i was so sick of feeling like a let down all the time.#now i just make what i can and my mum doesnt complain bc shes in the same boat.#and yeah. having help would be nice. it would mean id be able to do more than what i can do by myself.#and its great to see how far ive come. but im not a burden. and when i have the accommodations i need i can do a lot more#i do something rather than nothing and my life has dramatically changed since then. ive just gotten better and better.#chronic illness#disability#chronic pain#spoonie#one things for certain and thats that im never going to let myself rely on anyone else ever again.#i never want to be on the other side of that ever again. I don't want to be anyone's burden. i dont want that hanging over me#i do things by myself or i dont do them at all. and god fucking willing i'll never go back to needing as much help as i used to#i really didnt realise just how much of an obstacle living with stairs was in my life. it was the biggest barrier against everything#stairs stopped me from being independent. if i couldnt traverse them i just didnt go anywhere. my world shrank so much#and not having the proper wheelchair shrinks my world even more. im stronger than i used to be but im still severely limited in where i go
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