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sweet-barnes · 5 years ago

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Those Heels - b.b

Pairing: Bucky x tall!Reader (modern au)

Summary: You found your family in university and they had never left your side, and even after all these years the ‘surprise’ birthday parties are still going strong. Bucky finally decided it’s the right night to go after the girl.

A/N: i’m really bad with summaries, i apologise for whatever that is lmao thank you to @invisibleanonymousmonsters and @writingsoftheloser for helping out with ideas/concepts when writing a tall!reader, i appreciate it💕

You were grateful for your friends, there was no denying that. They were such a big part of your life since the day you had met, you knew you would be a completely different person altogether without them.

It had all started at university, in the student accommodation where you were all put on the same floor by some miracle. You met Natasha first, you had walked into your assigned room and she was already laying out paint samples ready for decorating. You knew from then on you were going to be in trouble with her. It wasn't long before she was introducing you to the rest of her group, and there was a lot of them.

The girls were in the rooms that surrounded you, so you naturally met them first. Wanda, Nakia, Peggy and Okoye were the sweetest bunch you had ever met and you instantly felt part of their little family.

Next were the boys, all which you met at the party that was thrown at Tony's house. Natasha had explained to you on the way that he was the ‘rich one’ so he refused to stay in student digs. Instead residing in his dad’s mansion near the university and one of his many expensive cars in every day.

Once you arrived at his place, you were blown away. You had only seen houses like these in passing, never did you think you would be invited to a party in one. The huge windows indented in the pristine white walls showed off the colourful lights inside and the masses of people who were already in there.

The music could be heard thrumming from outside and as you all piled out of the car, you were pulled towards the entrance by Wanda.

Inside is where you met the rest of your family, unbeknownst to them. From Steve Rogers to Peter Quill, T'Challa to Tony Stark. There were so many people, you didn't think you could keep track of them all, but now you knew them like the back of your hand.

The one person who definitely stuck in your mind was the one brooding in the corner. His fluffy dark hair and his piercing blue eyes took your breath away as soon as you were introduced to him.

Bucky Barnes had your heart from the moment you set eyes on him, but that dream was soon shattered by the small blonde that sidled up to him, wrapping an arm around his waist and placing her head against his arm.

You knew from then on you never stood a chance with him, and the countless other girls he introduced to the group just clarified that. You gave up on that dream quickly, promising yourself you wouldn't get too close to him for your heart to break.

Very soon after that, you may have let your secret crush on him slip to the girls. Of course they freaked out but you soon shot them down, not wanting them to get your own hopes up for something that wasn't going to happen. The way you said "he only likes small girls" gave away to them how you really felt and they tried their hardest to make you see it from their view, but it was no use.

They were all so petite, yet so strong and powerful in the way they held themselves. They would never understand how you felt within yourself. It wasn't that you didn't think you were strong and powerful, you knew as a woman you had your place in this world to do your bit for the better. You just weren't petite like them. You were at least a head taller and you felt like you didn't belong.

Despite the sharing your insecurities one drunken night at fresher’s, the girls never let go of you. Your friendship with them, even though it was only 5 days old at the time, was too precious for them to lose. That still stood 11 years later.

You placed the jumpsuit in front of your body, looking it up and down in the mirror before throwing it back down on the bed. "Are you excited?" Natasha asked as she walked into the room, a black body con dress hugging her body. You let out a groan, plopping back onto your bed. "Am I ever excited for one of Tony's parties?"

Tony was still rich, of course he was, he was a genius. His habit of having parties at every possible opportunity had never wavered, and birthday's were no exception to that rule. A 'surprise' birthday party was thrown every year for everyone within the group, even though all of you knew it was coming, it was like clockwork.

Everyone else loved it, you on the other hand, would rather be curled up on the sofa with a tub of Ben and Jerry's watching Netflix. You couldn't exactly avoid this one, it was your birthday and this party was especially for you.

The girls had taken you shopping earlier that day, which had already set your anxiety off. You hated clothes shopping and even though they tried their hardest to get you to buy a nice dress for the evening, you still arrived home with a jumpsuit, a classic look for you. There was no way you were going to a party that you were already uncomfortable with and making that worse with a dress.

"I'm sure you'll enjoy it once you get there," Natasha sat next to you and that's when you noticed the gift bag in her hand. "Nat, I told you I didn't want anything," you gave her a look before flitting your eyes down to the sparkly bag, curious to see what was inside.

"I know but I couldn't not get my best friend something for her birthday, and it's a bit of a risky present if I'm honest but I would really appreciate it if you maybe wore them tonight?" Your mind was all over the place trying to think of what it could possibly be. Natasha pushed the bag towards you and you didn't waste any time in pulling out the tissue paper to reveal what was inside.

You lifted the shoes out, or should you say heels, and turned them slightly to inspect them. "Do you like them?" Natasha whispered next to you, leaning in slightly. They were black, thick straps along the top and around the ankle, with a small chunky heel and a slight platform.

They were pretty, you couldn't deny it, and they were just your style. "Yes," you breathed out. Without thinking, you shooed Natasha out, telling her you would be two minutes before changing into your outfit and putting on the shoes.

You stared at your figure in the mirror, the jumpsuit hugging in at your waist and stopping just above your ankles, showing off the straps on the heels perfectly. There was a slight plunge neckline, showing off your chest just enough that you didn't feel completely ridiculous.

"Oh my god," that was when you heard the murmuring from the doorway and you turned to see all your girls stood there, mouths dropping at the sight of you.

"You look gorgeous!" Wanda squealed, making everyone laugh. Every one joined in with the compliments and you felt the heat rising to your cheeks at all the attention you were getting.

"Don't we have a party to get to?" You questioned, attempting to stop the onslaught of comments. It worked in your favour and soon, you were all piling into a taxi, making your way to another of Tony's mansions.

You felt the base through the floor as you stepped in through the double doors. You looked around at the familiar faces, shooting back a thank you every time someone greeted you with a 'happy birthday.' Most of these people were just acquaintances, people your group had met along the way and had been nice enough to be invited to one of the parties.

To be honest, Tony just liked having a lot of people at his parties.

You all weaved your way through the crowds of people, picking up your drinks in the kitchen and making your into one of the large back rooms. Every one you knew and loved was in there and as soon as they saw you, a chorus of happy birthday's was shouted in your direction.

You couldn't help the giggle that erupted from you as you went in to give everyone a hug, all their grips strong on you as they pulled you into them. "You're getting old now," Sam joked, grabbing you around the waist and pulling you into his side. You gasped, "hey, that's rude," you gave him a light slap on his chest before laughing along with him.

You looked around at the small circle your friends had formed, consisting of Natasha, Nakia, Steve, Sam and Bucky. Your eyes scanned them all, taking in the joyous looks on their faces before your eyes landed on Bucky.

Your heart leapt as you locked eyes with him, a smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth as he looked you up and down.

A wave of self-consciousness fell over you and you felt yourself retreating slightly into Sam's side. You sent Bucky a quick smile before looking back at Steve to try and concentrate on the story he was telling.

And the night went on like that. Flitting between different groups of your friends, trying not to feel out of place.

You had noticed a few glances from people as you were taking photos, especially with the girls. It was now just natural for you to bend your knees slightly when taking selfies with them, you had been doing it since you had first met but clearly other people weren't used to it. You tried to ignore them the best you could but with the more alcohol you consumed, the more irritating it became.

You were at the bar again, ordering another drink when you felt the presence of someone beside you. Their musky vanilla smell hit you, and you recognised it instantly.

"You look really good tonight, Y/N." His voice was husky and you could tell he'd been drinking. You looked to your side, taking in his sculpted face next to you. "Do you not have some small blonde with you tonight?" You attempted to joke but you truly meant it. Bucky chuckled, "not this time, got my eye on someone else."

You rolled your eyes, taking the drink that had just been placed in front of you, not saying anything else.

"I noticed you were wearing heels, that's a-" Bucky was cut of by a sharp "hey." You both turned to see Nakia stood behind you, a stern look directed straight at Bucky. She was the wrong person to mess with and clearly Bucky had pissed her off.

"You do not say anything about her heels, do you understand Barnes?" She pointed a finger at him, nudging him slightly and the bewildered look on his face nearly made you laugh. "What? I wasn't going to say anything-" She cut him off again. "I heard you, James," you took the opportunity to sneak away, hearing their voices fading as Bucky was trying to defend himself against her.

If there was anyone that would stick up for you, Nakia was the best for it, everyone listened to her and they didn’t dare try to disagree. You slipped out onto the balcony, grateful for the cool evening air against your hot skin. You took another sip of your drink and the alcohol burned slightly as it went down.

Of course it was Bucky who would point out the heels. He just couldn't help himself. For someone who was so good with the ladies, he definitely didn't know how to talk to one. Or talk to you at least.

The door behind you slid open, letting out the loud music before muting it again as it closed. "Y/N?" Bucky's voice was soft and you turned to meet his nervous stance. "Look, I'm really sorry about what I said back there, Nakia explained it and I really didn't mean it to come across any type of way," his was wringing his hands together as he looked at you.

You let out a sigh, "it's okay, Buck, I know you didn't mean any harm." His womaniser demeanor was gone as he moved to stand next to you. A moment passed before he spoke again, "I was going to say you look really hot actually," chuckling at himself.

Your heart stopped, questioning whether he really just said that. "And I'm not just saying that to sleep with you, I know you think I'm like that sometimes but I wouldn't do that to you."

You eventually found your voice, looking into Bucky's hopeful eyes as he tried to read your thoughts. "I'm not like any other girl you've ever been with Bucky, why now?" There was a shift in the way he looked at you before he looked down.

"Since the first day I met you at Tony's party, 11 years ago, I knew I felt something for you. I was just a dick and I slept around too much and I knew you didn't like it, I could tell by the way you looked at each new girl whenever I showed up with one. Then you became more and more distant, I knew it would be harder to get to you and make you see how I felt so I thought it was better to leave it," he paused, taking a deep breath. Your mind was all over the place, not knowing what to say or do, but Bucky carried on anyway.

"But I've stopped that now, I've been single for about a year and I was hoping you'd see that and see I'm not the guy that you thought I was but I guess that was a stupid plan." You laughed a little at this and Bucky joined in. "I was going to ask if you'd like to dance with me?"

Your mouth was already agreeing to it before you could fully process what was happening. Bucky took your hand in his, leading you back inside and into the cleared area that had become the dancefloor. A slow song had started playing and couples were paired together around you.

As you walked into the centre with Bucky, you felt eyes from all over the room looking at you. Your gaze landed on Natasha's over the shoulder of Bruce, she sent you a wink before a big smile broke out onto her face. She knew your feelings for Bucky never truly faded and she couldn't help the happiness she felt at seeing you two finally together now.

Bucky turned to face you, his arms snaking around your waist, pulling you close to him while your arms went over his shoulders. "Is this alright?" He whispered, his blue eyes sparkling even in the low light, as you looked across at him. You simply hummed in response, nodding slightly.

No one said anything. Your skin was on fire from where his arms were touching you, even through your clothes and a feeling of serenity washed over you. It was like everyone else in the room melted away and it was just you and Bucky dancing alone. No more eyes prying into your business or making you feel small.

"This is nice," you said softly, Bucky placed his forehead on yours, closing the distance even further. You felt yourself becoming flustered and moved your head to rest on his shoulder instead. He moved your body so it was flush against his. "I could do this forever," he murmured into your hair. "How have I been missing out this long?"

You were sure he was talking to himself at this point but you couldn't help yourself, "well... if you hadn't screwed all those other girls-"

You were cut off by his hands moving to tickle your waist, his laugh mixing with yours as you tried to get away. "No, you're not going anywhere," he tried to grab you again but you were too quick.

"Just watch me, Barnes!" You shouted, slipping away into the crowd. Bucky shook his head at you, pausing for a second to watch your figure disappear.

“Why did I wait so long?” He whispered to himself, before running into the crowd after you.

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #tall!reader #bucky x tall!reader #bucky barnes x tall!reader #mcu #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x reader #james buchanan barnes #modern au #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes blurb #mcu imagine #bucky fluff #james bucky barnes

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artificialqueens · 5 years ago

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(I Can Still Recall) Our Last Summer - Chapter Seven (Group Fic) - pureCAMP

A/N - And here it is folks, the end of an era that no one cares about! The finale is upon us, and as always, I’d appreciate, you know, one nice ask *crying emoji*

Anyways, on with the 9.3k clusterfuck

Sharon had never felt more out of place in her life. The waiting room was mostly, for one, filled with elderly people, who kept to themselves until their name and number was called, when they would shuffle down the corridor and disappear into one of the many rooms. For the extreme opposite, the only young patients seemed to be children, coughing and spluttering and playing with the starkly coloured toys in the corner of the room. Sharon could tell from the decor that the clinic was expensive and high quality, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t bleak and grim at the best of times.

She tugged her coat around her body self consciously and shifted in her chair. Five minutes had been the expected wait time she had been given, and yet fifteen had passed with no mention of her name. Considering her increasingly-often need to dash to the bathroom for one reason or another, she wasn’t enjoying her time so far. And of course, on top of everything, she felt utterly exhausted.

In all honesty, she didn’t know what was about to happen. General knowledge told her she would be lying down and talking about what lay ahead of her, but she knew none of the specifics.

She really wished her friends could be with her.

Raja had wanted to come, and both her and Jinkx had begged for catch-up work so that they could miss their first two lectures to attend the appointment and then travel back, but they had been unsuccessful. Which meant - as Sharon had expected, but still foolishly hoped otherwise - she would be going in alone.

She knew her support base were thinking of her, but she really, really wished they were sat beside her. Raja would be boosting her self-esteem and Jinkx would be making her laugh, all while they rubbed her hands and soothed the churning anxiety in her mind.

Instead, she bounced her leg and hoped that would help to eradicate the nervousness.

“27, Mrs Abby Baker to see Dr Reed.” The automated voice called out.

Another white-haired woman struggled to her feet and shuffled, insanely slow, to her appointment. Sharon tried not to lose her mind and stared at the painting of a bunch of sunflowers in front of her.

Her mind had been made up; admittedly, she had made her choice the second her mom kicked her out of the house and disowned her. Raja and Jinkx warned her to think on it, just in case it was a spur of the moment, hot-headed decision, but she was sure. She still took their advice, however, and the more she dwelled on it, the more she knew she was making the right choice for her.

One way or another, she was going to have a baby.

After all, the baby didn’t ask to get mixed up in the drama and confusion of her summer. A six-week long affair and two fortnight flings had resulted - somewhere along the line - in the creation of a life that had the potential to be the best thing in Sharon’s topsy-turvy world.

Even if it wasn’t the best thing, it was pretty much the only thing she had. Sharon didn’t have a home, a penny to her name or any belongings worth keeping besides her few treasured items. It wasn’t going to be easy, but she was going to do her best to keep going.

Besides, in terms of her home life, it wasn’t like her decision mattered. Her mom would regard her as a sinner no matter what choice she made. She would still be alone, without a home or any money.

So she was going to see if the baby was healthy. If it was, she would keep it. Then it would be off to the island to begin a new life. Sharon comforted herself with the knowledge that she would only have to go to the mainland for checkups at the doctors and some occasional shopping. Everything else she needed could be obtained from her own little paradise - the island she would finally get to call her official home.

“31, Miss Sharon Needles to see Dr Visage.”

At the sound of her own name, Sharon’s breath hitched. She took a moment to compose herself and headed down the corridor. As she walked, she prayed silently that she wouldn’t completely embarrass herself by throwing up on the doctor, or something similar.

If Dr Visage did a double take at the nervous seventeen year old walking into her room, she did it subtly enough that it put Sharon’s mind a little at ease. The doctor had a kindly face, with thick dark hair tied back and sparkling eyes that told of her good humour and warm nature. She greeted Sharon with a friendly handshake and invited her to sit and talk before beginning.

“Sorry for such a long wait,” Dr Visage apologised. “You can call me Michelle, since I’m guessing I’ll be seeing you a lot. You’re Sharon Needles, correct?”

Sharon nodded.

“And you’re seventeen years old?”

Slightly embarrassed, Sharon opened her mouth as if to defend herself, only to be cut off with a reassuring voice.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Michelle told her. “I’m not here to push any agendas or judge you. My job is to support you and keep you and your baby healthy, nothing more. Don’t worry.” She smiled. “Now, I’m just going to ask you a few questions before we get started.”

She did her best to answer honestly, and listened carefully as Michelle explained why she was asking each question and what her answers would determine. She was gently walking Sharon through the entire appointment, which she felt incredibly grateful for.

“Alright,” Michelle scanned the computer screen in front of her. “I would put you at about nine weeks pregnant. Does that seem about right to you?”

Sharon thought back to where she had been nine weeks ago. Against her will, her mind was flooded with sensations she had tried to forget - the feeling of being nestled in Justin’s arms, foolishly believing it made sense that he would protect and cherish her. She stiffened.

“Yeah. Makes sense.”

Michelle smiled sympathetically, launching into a spiel about how it was difficult to predict the exact conception and clarifying that her estimation may be out by a few weeks - which made Sharon’s stomach churn. “We can discuss when you’ll be due in a moment, but it should definitely be in April. Now, I’m just going to set this up…”

Sharon’s mind was spinning. April. In April, she was going to have a baby. All of a sudden, a random day in a random month of the year would become one of the most significant dates in her life, and yet she had no idea which it would be. That thought alone sent her reeling, and she tuned in to what Michelle was saying a few seconds too late.

“I’m sorry, it’s going to go where?”

“It feels a little weird, but it doesn’t hurt.” She was reassured, with a little laugh. “And then I’ll just use this on your stomach if you can lay down here for me…”

Simply going along with Michelle’s instructions, Sharon lay back where she was directed, trying not to squirm as her shirt was lifted and the ultrasound set up. Michelle was busying around her, plugging things in and rigging sets and adjusting screens and switches that Sharon didn’t care to look at. Everything was happening far too quickly and she couldn’t take any of it in.

All at once, the room was filled with a strange hum. A faint gurgling thump could be heard. Sharon assumed it was the machine working - although not unpleasant, it was quite loud and she couldn’t make out anything in the crackling.

“That’s the heartbeat.” Michelle told her. “Hear it?” She imitated the quiet thumping with her hand. It was needless, however, because as soon as Sharon realized, her ears had identified the beating and she was transfixed.

“It’s already got its own little heart…” She murmured. “It’s so strong already. How is it this strong already?”

Michelle smiled warmly. “Their heart and your heart are going to work together in these coming months, as you’ll discover. Would you like to take a look at your baby?”

Choked up, Sharon just nodded. A lump had risen in her throat, much different to the usual nausea she felt. It took all of her willpower to hold back her tears in order to gaze at the screen, waiting for the image to appear. Michelle seemed to be as filled with anticipation as Sharon was, fiddling with the buttons in an almost frantic manner to strengthen the resolution.

The screen flickered to life. Sharon’s willpower shattered.

It was so small, curled up like a tiny bean right in the middle. Sharon had been expected some kind of shapeless blob that would trigger nothing inside her, and she found herself confronted with otherwise. She could make out a tiny head, the shape of a body and one little arm, raised as though it was waving at her.

“Baby’s just working on getting a little prettier for you,” Michelle commented, wordlessly handing her a tissue. “Most limbs are formed and their little heart is going strong. They’re looking perfectly healthy and a very good size. For reference…”

She leaned to one side, and then presented two photographs - one of her ultrasound, swiftly printed, and one of a small, pink cherry. “This is the rough size of your baby right now.”

Sharon’s fingers closed around the pictures, the tears spilling over her cheeks. “How can I already love it so much?”

Her baby, no bigger than a cherry, was tucked up inside her at that very moment, heart beating like crazy, and Sharon knew in that moment she would protect it with her life.

“I know just how you feel.” Michelle told her. “I have two daughters of my own… it’s scary but it’s magical. Treasure it as much as you can.”

With the appointment out of the way, and the realization of the baby solidified in her mind, Sharon turned her attention to the next most pressing matter - money. Again, Raja had offered all kinds of loans and financial assistance to help her, but Sharon knew she couldn’t rely on her friends forever. She felt bad even taking a penny from them. She needed work.

Sometimes, when desperate, she had been able to score shifts at the taverna that Maria owned, before the band would perform. Working the bar was easy, and it was decently popular among both locals and tourists, but she wasn’t too keen on that idea. Being surrounded with alcohol and drunk people during late night shifts…

No, it didn’t really appeal. Briefly, she wondered what opportunities there were for work on the island. Most of the businesses were family-owned, family-run, passed down from generation to generation. They were lifelong trades taught by father to son and mother to daughter, long-forgotten but highly valued arts that she had no chance of learning. She could sew, yes, but that wasn’t really enough. She had no hope of breaking into any local industries.

Then it hit her.

“Nope. No way. No way, sweetheart! I can’t let you do that!”

“Please, Pat!” Sharon begged, standing her ground so the powerful little woman couldn’t push her away. “You need me, I need you. It just makes sense!”

Pat sank into her armchair, sighing defeatedly. Her fingers curled around the glass of bourbon - an offer that Sharon had politely refused - and she swirled the liquid inside, staring at Sharon through the glass rather than directly in the eyes.

“Honey, how can I let you throw away your life looking after some crazy old lady?” She asked, pursing her lips. “I know you care, bless your heart, but you have so many opportunities, just like your friends.”

Sharon shook her head. “I don’t, Pat. I wish I did. But I need this job, and you need me.”

“Sharon… why do you need this job so much?” Pat’s voice was heavy. She seemed to sense the almost solemn mood of the conversation, the gradual shift from a casual offer to a hint of desperation.

Lowering her head, Sharon swallowed and crossed one leg over the other, fidgeting uncomfortably. It felt strange to be sitting opposite the old woman without Willam slung over her lap, but that was part of her predicament in the first place. She would have to get used to it - because she wasn’t taking no for an answer.

“I think you know why.” She mumbled, and cleared her throat. “If she hasn’t told everyone out of shame and disgust, then you’ve probably already noticed.”

Sharon didn’t miss Pat’s wince. It was unsurprisingly but still hurtful that her mom had outed her business to everybody in the church and wider community. She followed Pat’s gaze, watching as she eyed Sharon’s stomach and then, for the first time, looked into her eyes.

“I have to ask-”

“I don’t know.” Sharon predicted the question before it could leave her lips. “Would you still take me on if it wasn’t his?”

Pat smiled gently. “Sweetheart, you know I don’t care about that. I just don’t want you to be trapped to some old lady, whether or not there’s a relative of mine in there.”

“Pfft,” Sharon retorted. “You’re hilarious, and you barely look older than twenty five.” At that, Pat laughed. “And I need money, first of all. Babies… babies are expensive.”

“You’re damn right. Fuck it, shut that door and make yourself comfortable. You’re hired.”

That solved two issues that had been pressing on Sharon’s mind since the appointment. From then, she fell into a comfortable, if slightly busy, routine. Each morning she rose early - most often to be sick whilst Pat, unable to bend over, perched on the edge of the bath to rub her back - and then made breakfast. Pat would then indulge in whatever she wanted to do that day, often drinking or visiting the market or just going on a short walk to the beach and back again, Sharon assisting her along the way. After lunch, another meal cooked by Sharon as she honed her skill, Pat would have a little siesta. In that time, Sharon found herself cleaning, finding the repetitive process oddly cathartic in soothing her growing anxiety. The day would finish after a late evening meal, a long chat and collapsing into bed.

It was an easy, relaxing structure to follow. It gave Sharon time to think, to focus on what she wanted, and update her friends on every little change through letters.

Pat had been asking a question for a while that Sharon didn’t want to answer. It was far too grim, too morbid for her to dwell on without getting teary. She wasn’t crying at every tiny instance, as Jinkx’s letters had been convinced she would, but it never failed to cause her eyes to grow misty.

“You need to think about it, Sharon. This won’t last forever.”

Sharon blinked and shook her head, continuing to polish the mirror. “Pat, I won’t let you keep talking like this.”

“But really!” Pat exclaimed, throwing her arms into the air. “I know we like to have a laugh, darling, but I’m ninety three years old and I’m… not in the best of health. This job isn’t a permanent fixture. Soon enough I’ll be in God’s kingdom, hopefully smiting your cow of a mother.”

Sharon giggled weakly, the joke doing little to alleviate the heavy topic. “I can’t think about that now. I have a job, an income and a baby to think about.”

Pat hummed. “I know, I know. But there must be more to life than this for you. You must have some kind of dream, some hope for something better. I’m a wealthy woman, sweetheart, I can help you, but not for much longer. Not with the way I drink, anyway.”

Shaking her head, Sharon opened her mouth to reply but was cut off. “As your boss, I demand you tell me no lies and indulge me in your biggest fantasy. If you could do anything, what would you want? Realistic or not.”

“I…” Sharon swallowed, dropping the rag and studying herself in the mirror. Her bump had grown. “I want to have my own hotel. I don’t know what I’d call it, but it would be peaceful. You don’t have to worry about anything when you’re there. If you need somewhere safe to go, you’ve got your own little pocket of paradise to go to. There’s no angry parents, you can just dance and enjoy the food and the entertainment like you’re supposed to.” Inadvertently, she balled a fist. “No one judges you for being a single mom. Nobody stares and calls you names. You get treated like a real person there.”

Pat’s expression softened. “Sweetheart-”

“It’s a pipe dream.” Sharon said abruptly, picking up the rag from the floor and viciously scrubbing at the mirror. “I’m young and I’m pregnant and I’m poor. I didn’t graduate high school. What would I know about running a business?”

The old woman shook her head. “You’re thinking too much. Who says you can’t? If you had a bunch of buildings and some money to make it into a hotel, who says you won’t be able to make some magic out of it?”

Sharon sighed. “I don’t know.”

Slowly, carefully, the old woman rose from her seat, shuffling to slip on her shoes and then pressing a kiss to Sharon’s forehead. She beckoned Sharon outside, leading her down the front path and up some of the many steps around the island.

“Pat… where are we going?”

She shrugged. “I could tell you were getting upset, so I figured I’d cheer you up. I have a little gift for you. A thank you for everything you’re doing for me.”

Sharon shook her head as they walked. “Pat, you don’t have to thank me! I’m happy to be caring for you, and I…”

She trailed off. The walk had only been ten minutes at most, and now the two found themselves stood in front of a small cottage. It was wide and squat, tucked in the landscape like most of the tavernas, and the front door was wide open. Pat was smiling.

“Pat.”

“Check it out.”

“Pat.”

“Go on. Go inside.” Pat grinned, pleased with herself.

“Pat, you didn’t…”

Pat nodded. “Go look around!”

Somewhere inside her, Sharon knew she should’ve been feeling a little guilty. Pat had paid out of pocket for this little place, all for her. It was by no means big, but Sharon didn’t need acres of land and a house filled with splendour. She needed a home to raise a baby in, and this seemed to be perfect. Besides, she reasoned - Pat was far wealthier than her crass attitude and humble lifestyle let on. Sharon knew that the entire Belli family, Willam included, were fabulously rich. This was probably pocket change for her.

The kitchen was small but open plan, nestled in alongside a small living space with a worn red sofa and two armchairs in the middle. Although old and slightly creaking, the wooden stairs held strong as she ventured further into the house, noting a small bedroom with a double bed, a bathroom and one larger, empty room.

This could be the nursery, Sharon thought absent-mindedly.

She hurried downstairs again, where Pat had settled herself into an armchair. Her wrinkled fingers were clasped together, her entire demeanour one of pure satisfaction.

“It’s not perfect, but…” Her eyes gleamed. “It’s yours. You can’t be cooped up with me any longer. We’re running out of space, the size of us both.”

Sharon laughed, fighting back tears. “I love it. I love it. I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything.” Pat pulled her into a tight hug. “I had some lovely young men come and carry your things here, so everything is either stowed where it should be or sitting in boxes around the place. I didn’t expect you to unpack alone, so help is on the way, but…”

She smiled. “I’m off to the taverna. I’ll see you later today.”

Loneliness became the next biggest challenge Sharon had to face.

Of course, she still saw Pat everyday. Their routine had been revised slightly, but she was nevertheless a full-time carer for the old lady. Pat had started to sleep more and go out less, so Sharon’s duties lessened over time. She cooked and cleaned and chatted, and then returned to her own space.

And, naturally, she was never entirely alone - her bump made sure she could never forget that. She would always have her baby with her, snuggled up tight.

But she missed everyone dearly. It had been difficult for Raja and Jinkx to coordinate visiting, and so far they hadn’t managed. They exchanged letters as often as possible, but Sharon could hardly bear the waiting. It took days for her letters to arrive and days to receive responses back. Her best friends were too far away for comfort.

Overall, she just felt alone.

The past few days, she had taken to wandering her home. It was looking better now that she’d put some love and care into it - a fresh coat of paint and some new second-hand furniture had worked wonders, all paid for with her monthly paychecks. Most of the time, her mind was occupied with thoughts of the future; her baby was going to grow up inside these walls, and create lifelong memories that didn’t exist yet. Good things lay ahead, but they weren’t close enough yet.

Sharon filtered through her wardrobe, wondering if she should give up the ghost and toss out some of her old clothes. It was abundantly clear that they didn’t fit anymore - nothing did, but sentimental attachments kept her from throwing some of the garments away. Even the damned blue sequin dress that had forced her to reveal it to her friends held memories she wasn’t sure she could let go of.

“What are you doing to me, baby?” Sharon murmured, gently cupping her bump. “I never used to be like this.”

Her fingers suddenly brushed against a familiar fabric, surprising her. She could pick out the exact fabric any day, and identify it from a line-up of thousands of similar ones, but it didn’t make sense. Why was it…?

She pulled at the hanger, allowing the shirt to slip off into her hands, and let out a quiet gasp. Sharon let herself rub the fabric against her palm, the memories imprinting themselves into her skin and forcing her to relive them.

“See, that looks way better on you than it ever did on me,” Justin commenting, shifting himself into an upright position. The covers were carelessly slung over his legs, leaving his naked chest exposed and glistening with sweat. Sharon longed to rip the covers off and run her fingers through her tousled hair, but she resisted the urge.

“Doesn’t it always?” She teased, twirling. His white shirt had been the first item discarded; she had been unable to keep her hands off of him as soon as they shut the door, and had ended up pinning him against it as she undid the buttons.

Now, in the glow of their post-coitus haze, she had wrapped it around herself, inhaling the scent of his cologne. It felt like she belonged to him, and she loved it.

“I’m wounded!” He gasped, clutching his heart. “Light… fading…”

Sharon burst into giggles. “What, because I look better than you?”

“Darkness… approaching…”

Sharon rolled her eyes. “Shut up, drama queen. I’m never taking this off.”

“I need… the kiss… of life…” Justin rasped, pathetically reaching forwards as if he hadn’t just been confident and swaggering only moments ago.

“You do know the kiss of life isn’t a kiss, right?” Sharon checked, watching him through the mirror. Her own hair was a mess, her lipstick was smudged - undoubtedly peppered all along the muscles on his chest - yet there was a light in her eyes that had never been there before. Justin set her on fire and his flames were inescapable.

Justin dropped his act and laughed, leaning back to fix Sharon with a stare that sent lightning bolts zipping through her. It was all she could do to hold back a sigh.

“Of course I do. I need your kiss of life, not a kiss of life. A subtle but important difference.”

Sharon cocked an eyebrow, trying to act calmer than she felt. “And that difference is?”

“Get over here.”

He didn’t have to tell her twice. Every ounce of willpower dissipated from her body as she collapsed on top of him, kissing hard as he tore his shirt from her body. Both were desperate to feel skin on skin, refusing to let any barrier go between them. Sharon pressed herself against him and inhaled again, embracing the familiarity of the moment. She found herself smiling into the kiss.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” Justin growled, pressing heated kisses along her jaw and down towards her breasts. “Keep the shirt, it’s yours as long as you agree to be mine.”

Sharon giggled, love-drunk with the exhilaration coursing through her veins. “I already am, silly.”

Oh, how things had changed since then.

She held the shirt in her fist, letting its scent walk her through the memories and finally, briefly, allowing herself to think about him. Had he been thinking about her? Would it ever cross his mind to come back, to find her and fall in love with her all over again?

Her mind raced with scenarios, seemingly desperate to play them all out in the short time she was allocating. Was it possible that he was married now, but desperately unhappy, wishing nothing more than to return to the island and live out his life with her? Did he ever suspect that perhaps their nights together had resulted in something more? Was he trapped in his normality, clinging onto their faded romance to keep him going through the dreary work day? Did he miss her more than life itself?

Or - the thoughts she tried to push aside, to not allow any real estate in her mind - was he happy now? Had he used her as a stress relief, and settled easily back into his picture perfect life? Had his white wedding gone ahead, surrounded by family and friends who lauded the faultless couple and their commitment to one another? Was Sharon nothing more than his dirty secret?

It did no good to dwell on such thoughts. Sharon knew that now. Justin had loved her, and then he had stopped loving here. There was little else to it, she knew.

At least, from his perspective.

As she went to hang the shirt up once again, a slight fluttering stopped her in her tracks. Slowly, she retracted away from the closet and held the shirt again.

Was that…?

Sharon shook her head. She was imagining things for certain. Still, in spite of her surety, she slipped her arms into the soft white fabric, feeling a slight sense of accomplishment at being able to wear it comfortably. Moments later, her stomach fluttered again.

The baby was kicking.

It was a strange sensation; sort of like a muscle contraction she couldn’t control, a tiny little thump. The baby was trying to make certain that she knew they were in there, fighting for mama’s attention. Battling through the heartache of her old memories and the outpour of affection towards her baby, Sharon placed a hand over the fluttering spot and smiled gently, letting out a sigh.

“Well, I guess we know who your daddy is, huh?” She swallowed heavily. “You definitely seem to know him.”

Dear Sharon,

I miss you so much, you bitch! Jinkx + I coming next week for birthday fun so we’ll see you soon I hope! Can’t believe you’re going to be eighteen. And that you’re pregnant too. Wild.

Dr Visage is an angel, isn’t she? Glad she’s taking care of you.

Drop in on my mom at some point this week. She has been knitting tiny socks for the baby because she’s a little eager.

Eric is being a cunt again. I think I might just have to fuck his brother Don to spite him. Thoughts?

Sent you some cash with this letter, and a little camera too, in case you wanna take pics of stuff. Memories for when you’re old.

See you Sunday!!

Your favourite whore,

Raja xx

–

Dear Sharon,

I hope you’ve been working on some melodies between cooking your baby and looking after Pat because I’m DYING to sing with my girls again. It’s been too long!

Don’t have much time to write because Amy is due to arrive any minute and you know how it is. Looking forwards to seeing you next week though! What’s the betting that Raja either has a rich boyfriend or convinced her dad to let her have that weird cosmetic procedure she keeps banging on about? Life in plastic might not be so fantastic.

Also, I read that sometimes pregnant women get wild cravings so if you start eating weird things I’m gonna laugh my ass off. If it’s normal things then that’s boring and you can do better. Mom says if you ever want some of her spicy bean casserole she’s happy to make it for you. Anyways, update me on your alien.

Amy’s here, gotta go. Miss you!!

Love Jinkx xx

–

Sharon stood on the dock and watched the tiny dot grow nearer and nearer to the island. She had to laugh - of course they had decided to wait for the mid-morning tourist ferry to get them to the island, rather than rowing themselves over. Then again, she reasoned, she had always been the best at rowing, and she was officially out of action. And she’d written to each of them just to make sure they knew that under no circumstances would she be meeting them on the mainland for convenience.

Her newly developed anxiety about going to the mainland alone was something she needed to deal with eventually, but not right now.

Eventually, growing tired from standing for so long, Sharon took off her shoes and sat at the end of the dock, letting her feet rest in the sea as she watched the boat beginning to approach. Only when it drew close enough to make out the shapes of the passengers did she stand again, not wanting to be caught sitting. It was odd, she thought to herself, that it felt so embarrassing to have to cave to her body’s needs. She was pregnant - there really was nothing wrong with sitting.

But whatever. She stood and watched, smiling as the passengers disembarked and went their separate ways. Predictably, her two goofy friends were the last to get off; they always wanted to make a grand entrance.

At once they were upon her, squeezing her tight and laughing joyously at the reunion. All four of Raja’s suitcases had somehow jammed into Sharon’s side, and Jinkx’s wide-brimmed sun hat was brushing against her face, but she grinned into the embrace nevertheless. It was the most physically uncomfortable yet emotionally fulfilling hug Sharon had ever experienced. Almost instantly, some of the stress she had been holding in a pent-up ball in her chest melted away.

“Oh my god, you’re huge.” Were Jinkx’s first words as she wriggled out of the hug, staring at Sharon’s bump.

She giggled as Raja hissed, “Jinkx! Bolster!”, then looked down and matched her friend’s wide-eyed, shocked expression.

“Shit. You are pretty big. Still gorgeous though!” She added, Jinkx nodding in agreement.

Sharon laughed and entwined her fingers into her friends. “Did you forget how long you’ve been gone? Things have changed since then.”

Jinkx paused, then shook her head. “I’m not in the mood to do maths.”

“Twenty weeks.” Raja rolled her eyes, stealing the hat from Jinkx’s head to model it on her own. “So that’s…”

“Halfway point.” Sharon nodded. “About four and a half months. But we’ll hear all this later, at the appointment. I thought you guys might wanna come along and see what it’s all about.”

Raja and Jinkx smiled warmly, and Sharon felt her heart expanding with gratefulness. “We’d love that.”

“Anyway,” Sharon grinned. “Wait until you see my place. It’s not much, but… I love it. It’s a home, and it’s not her home.”

In preparation for their visit, Sharon had bundled nearly every blanket and pillow she owned into makeshift beds, though she knew their first night would be spent squeezed into her bed together. Maria had kindly offered to house them for a while, but she’d politely declined; the older woman was already doing enough for her at this point.

It was disconcerting, sometimes, how much Sharon felt she’d matured. Only a few months ago she had been emotionally volatile, sullenly hiding from her good-for-nothing mom, trying to spend all of her time at her friends’ houses. Now she had her own place, and had been desperately cleaning and tidying and prepping for their arrival like some sort of crazed mother goose.

Maria greeted them at the taverna when they stopped for a break, panting in the early morning heat with the effort of hauling suitcases up the notoriously steep, rocky island. Although it was much cooler towards the start of the day, the girls still found themselves sweating and desperate for something to drink when they stopped off. Like an angel, Maria had ushered them to their usual table near the jukebox and busied herself with two cocktails and a glass of icy water whilst Raja tried to find a decent song to play.

“We should do a Supermodels reunion tonight!” Jinkx suggested, humming one of their old tunes. “Thoughts?”

“Hell yes!” Raja replied, at the same time as Sharon went, “Absolutely not.”

They both turned, surprised. “What? It’s a terrible idea! You want me to perform looking like this?”

Jinkx pursed her lips. “You look beautiful! And it’s not like we need to dance, we can just sing the words and rake in some extra pennies. We could do Kisses of Fire again, or something else just as fun.”

Sharon shook her head. “I don’t think so. I don’t think I can even reach those notes anymore.”

It was only a half-lie. She hadn’t tried to sing properly since she found out, having had no real reason to. Singing didn’t bring her the same joy that it once had - it wasn’t an expression of her freedom anymore, but a reminder of how limited she had become. No, the main problem was how often she had been thinking about the one person she swore she wouldn’t. Refreshing the memories of them in her head would only worsen the situation.

Really, she had tried to move on. Justin obviously had. But it wasn’t easy to erase the romance that changed her life for both better and worse. She couldn’t even pour her heart out onto paper anymore, let alone into music. She had tried, desperately tried, to send him a letter. Just to explain everything.

Dear Justin-

No.

Justin-

Far too formal. As if he was in trouble. She didn’t want to make him feel like that - even if she knew that she was in trouble.

To the one that got away-

No, no, no. Who did she even think she was?

Dear Justin,

I don’t want to write this letter. I don’t know how to write this letter. You’ll never read it, anyway, because I won’t send it. I know that you’re married now, and probably really happy. In a way, I’m glad I could help you decide if that perfect life laid out for you was the one you wanted or not.

I’m lying. It kills me that you chose her, it kills me that I was just a stepping stone. But I want you to be happy, and I can’t ruin your happiness.

What kind of person would I be if I ruined your bliss by telling you about my hell? Is it better or worse if I don’t tell you? There are so many outcomes that I don’t want to think about. Some good, some bad. I’m stalling telling you the truth in a letter that I won’t ever send, that’s how afraid I am.

I think part of me wants to accept that I am a good judge of character, and I know you to be a good person. If I told you… If I told you the truth, would you come back? It’s strange. I’ve lost all confidence, I don’t know if you would. But then if you would, is it out of guilt? I shouldn’t really dare to hope that any spark lingered. Your absence probably proves that the spark is gone, at least for you.

All I’m doing at this point is wasting ink and paper penning this useless letter to you. I don’t even know where in the world you are. Maybe you’re miserable like me. Maybe you’re the happiest you’ve ever been.

I truly don’t know if, if I saw you again, I would embrace you with open arms or cast you to the side. It’s one of those heart vs head decisions where I know my head is right, but I know my heart will betray me.

Perhaps it’s right that I won’t send this letter, and you’ll never know about me and the baby. It’s easier that way. I just have to stop thinking about you.

She remained subdued for most of their journey to the mainland, where Michelle was waiting for the three to arrive. It was all she could do to try and clear her mind before the appointment, not wanting to be hung up about her ex in one of the most significant moments of her life. Thankfully, as soon as she saw the grainy image of her baby on the screen before her, all of her outside stresses melted away.

Michelle examined everything carefully, searching for discrepancies Sharon had no idea the woman could spot. After a few tense moments, Jinkx and Raja holding her hand on either side, she broke into a huge smile.

“A little small, but nothing to worry about. Some women just have small babies! My two were huge, so you got lucky.” Michelle grinned.

Raja, ever impatient, rolled her eyes. “Michelle, that’s charming. Can we see the magic now?”

She chuckled. “Fine, fine.”

Sharon held her breath.

“She’s perfectly healthy, congratulations.”

The birds outside seemed to sing a little louder, the sun shining a little brighter than before. Flowers bloomed in fragrant bunches. A million wrongs were righted all at once. Little pockets of happiness seemed to burst into joyous laughter all over the planet. Collectively, the world let out a little relieved sigh.

“She! Jinkx, Raja, did you hear that?”

Jinkx squeezed her hand even tighter. “You’re having a girl!”

“Another Supermodel!” Raja joked, blinking away the tears in her eyes. “Oh my god, a little mini Sharon is on her way! Hi, angel!”

Sharon’s heart had never been so full. All of the loneliness, all of the stress and hardship that she had been through and knew still lay ahead of her, melted away into nothing. Though it had been far from easy and would only get harder as it progressed, none of that mattered. This little girl was going to heal her heart.

“I… I can’t believe this…” She murmured, welling up. “If only-”

She paused. If only Justin were here, she had thought about saying, but decided against it. There was still the possibility that Jaremi or Willam could be her little girl’s dad, though she doubted it. Of course, whilst she had no way of knowing, she was sure it had been Justin. Still, as Raja and Jinkx didn’t know about her other stupid rebound flings, there was no point in debating which one was the dad. All that mattered was that Sharon got to be her mom.

“What, darling?”

Sharon cleared her head and smiled. “Nothing. It doesn’t matter. I have you two and I have my girl. That’s all that matters, isn’t it?”

Jinkx tackled her in a hug, Raja choosing the safer option of bringing her hand up to kiss it. Their eyes were gleaming, and Sharon took a moment to appreciate just how supportive they were. Despite everything, she was lucky to have them in her life when she needed them most.

“You know what this means, right? Other than a new Supermodel?” Raja asked, earning a giggle from each of them.

“Enlighten us, Oh Mighty Raja.” Jinkx laughed, seemingly on the same wavelength.

“We need to go shopping!”

Sharon wasn’t sure how they’d done it, but she had been convinced to try and sing with them. Maybe it had been their fierce protectiveness and mutual excitement for the new life - a little girl! - growing inside her, or their never-ending support. Regardless, somehow, they had softened her already weak heart into giving in.

They arrived back at Sharon’s in the mid-afternoon, laden with armfuls of tiny baby clothes and shoes that seemed too small to ever belong to a person. Sharon had insisted that they kept their money for themselves, that she could manage on their own, but Raja had simply rolled her eyes and Jinkx had told her in no uncertain terms that as aunties, this was their job.

Highlights of the day included watching her friends become utterly smitten with the tiny pink pastels they were filling their baskets with, and feeling similarly clucky as they browsed endless baby aisles. Sharon found herself more fascinated with the soft muslin than anything else; in just a few months time, her baby girl would be alive and squirming, safely wrapped in a blanket just like the ones she stroked between her fingers as they passed by. Although it was terrifying, she looked forward to finally meeting her.

Another highlight, surprisingly, came from a scoff and a judgemental comment from an older couple. Sharon hadn’t noticed their attentive gaze, too engrossed in the ridiculously tiny shoes, but Raja and Jinkx were already on high alert.

“The state of young girls these days. I mean, she can’t be more than eighteen, look at her.”

“I’ll bet she did it just to try and stop her boyfriend from breaking up with her. Wonder how that turned out.”

The couple snickered, their comments loud enough for Sharon to hear them. She took a deep breath in and focused on the shelves in front of her, determined to ignore it and continue shopping. The girls had other ideas.

“Well shit, I sure hope you two aren’t parents. I bet your kids are the fucking bullies of the school, the way you talk.” Raja spat, spinning on her heel to face the suddenly affronted couple.

Jinkx nodded. “Accidents happen, doesn’t mean they can’t be happy miracles. Unlike you, she’ll be a great parent to her baby, because she cares about people and doesn’t judge others like an asshole.”

Eyeing each other, the couple each raised an eyebrow. “Typical irresponsible kids.”

Sharon saw Raja tense, and knew that any moment, she would launch forward and start a scrap with the couple. Needing to diffuse the situation, she grabbed Raja’s hand and pulled her back, smiling gently as she did.

“Ignore them,” She said softly. “Look, you don’t have to defe-”

“Get your nasty ass away from my fucking friend, you piece of unholy shit!” Raja struggled to get free, straining and pulling until the couple eventually took the hint and decided to get out of their way. When they were gone, she apologised and brushed herself down, her chest heaving with anger.

“I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”

Sharon shook her head, unable to stop the grin from sliding onto her face. “No. You’re both awesome, I love you so much. You really don’t need to do that for me.”

“But we want to, baby. We want to.” Jinkx told her.

“I know. That’s why I love you so much.”

Encounters like that were one of the many reasons Sharon was so filled with anxiety about going to the mainland. It was comforting to have her friends so fiercely sticking up for her, but she still didn’t feel completely at ease until the island began to climb into view from the sailboat. It had truly become a safe haven to her in a way that transcended the little paradise that had once been her escape from her mother. Now, it was a home for her new baby, ready and waiting and protected.

That morning, Pat was sitting in her chair, fiddling idly with the knitting needles she seldom used. A small project hung from one of them, pink and white, and she looked uncharacteristically nervous. Sharon was on guard immediately, setting down her bag and sitting opposite her.

“Everything okay? Is there anything I can get for you?”

Pat shook her head. Sharon only continued. “Maybe that pouffe if your arthritis is acting up? I could run upstairs-”

Again, she shook her head, this time clasping Sharon’s hand in hers to silence her. Her eyes were kind and filled with a desolate sadness that Sharon didn’t understand, but wanted to fix. It was the least she could do.

“Honey, you’re in no condition be running up any stairs.” Pat reminded her, smiling gently as she blushed a little in embarrassment. “I need to talk to you about something, something important. I just want to come out with it first and explain later, save the build up. I don’t want to cause you unnecessary stress.”

Sharon held her breath, but whatever she expected, this wasn’t it.

“I’m going into a retirement home.”

A million questions scorched the tip of her tongue, practically falling over one another in a hurried attempt to get out, but not a single one made it past her lips. All she could do was examine Pat with the intensity of a terrified child, desperately wondering why she had made that decision. It made sense, given her age, but it now meant that Sharon was out of a job and at such a crucial time when money was so tight, she needed that employment more than ever before.

“My needs are getting more and more complex, I’m not getting any younger and we both know that. My family have agreed I could use the help and, sweetheart…” She squeezed Sharon’s hand. “I don’t want to rely on you when you have so much else going on. You have been an absolute angel to me, and you have a knack for looking after people like I’ve never seen. But in just a few more months you’ll be busy with a baby and I can’t take priority over that.”

At some point, Sharon had teared up. She wasn’t sure when.

“You’re going to be a fantastic mom, I know it. You’ve selflessly dedicated your time to me and I know you will do the same for that beautiful daughter of yours. I can’t wait to meet her. But I need to get out of your hair so you can focus on what truly matters. However-” The sad sparkle in Pat’s eyes made way for an almost mischievous, proud glint. “You didn’t think I’d leave you without a few gifts, right?”

Sharon sighed. “Oh, Pat, you know you shouldn’t-”

“Nonsense!” The old lady replied. “It’s my wealth and I’ll lavish it on whoever I choose. These are for you.”

She handed over three items - a piece of paper, an envelope, and the knitted thing - a tiny dress, perfect for a newborn. Sharon took the paper and read it, unsure of what to expect from the gift, after stroking the soft fabric of the dress and imagining it on the daughter she had yet to meet.

Pat had outdone herself.

“This… this is the deed to those old buildings on the top of the island…” Sharon murmured, before her gaze shot upwards. “Pat.”

She grinned. “I already said, caring for people is something you’ve proved you’re amazing at. I’ve called some renovation and repair teams… you’re building that goddamn hotel. Take care of your guests like you did with me and I guarantee you’ll be a success.”

The envelope, Sharon found moments later, was wadded with money.

“Even when I’m six feet under, I won’t have you going hungry on my watch. To help with bills, just in case you’re in this situation because of our Bill.” God, that woman was wicked. Sharon wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry, and settled for a weepy mixture of the two. She was downright speechless, a quality that few had the ability to render her into.

In a matter of weeks, everything changed. Pat was gone, Sharon was at home, and the waiting game of labour seemed to be the only thing on her horizon. Most days, she went out to check on the construction and talk planning with the team, who seemed equally shocked and impressed that their boss was eighteen and heavily pregnant.

Raja and Jinkx would be arriving soon, giving them plenty of time to support her before the baby came. They would have a nice, calm few weeks together, and then her daughter would finally be here and everything would begin to fall into place.

Raja and Jinkx arrived on the eve of forty weeks, perfectly on time, and were down at the dock.

Maria, the bartender and owner of the taverna, was washing glasses in the sink.

Maria’s son Jose was collecting new shipments of ale from the loading bay.

Sharon was out on a walk along one of the shallow cliffs, where Justin used to take her.

Not long now.

Raja and Jinkx stood chatting, excitedly wondering how long they would be staying before the baby came. Raja was complaining a little about having to lug her own many, many suitcases up the notoriously uphill island, and Jinkx was reminding her through her laughter that given their friend was nine months pregnant, she had to cut her losses.

Maria thought about Sharon, who had picked up a few extra shifts since Pat had entered the home, and wondered how her part-time employee and long-time performer was doing that day. It was about noon, so no doubt she was enjoying some lunch and preparing for the arrival in a few days time, her workload reduced to nothing.

Jose spotted the two girls on the beach and wondered which one of them was hotter, and which one was more likely to respond flirtatiously if he offered to help them. He fixated on the tall, dark haired one and offered to help both carry their suitcases up the island.

Sharon winced a little bit, let out a sigh, and then winced much harder. It hurt.

Raja, in her element, allowed the young man to take her bags and gave him a wink, hoping to convey everything she was willing to do. Jinkx, rolling her eyes, followed her friend and shook her head as they made their way towards the taverna, where Sharon was going to meet them.

Maria decided, on a whim, to see how Sharon was doing. She liked taking a walk around this time, and was most likely on her usual route. It was only a short journey from her small taverna to where she would probably be.

Jose began regretting offering to help. These girls were carrying bags laden with wet cement, clearly.

Sharon swallowed hard and tried to stand up. The pain had subsided but then it had come back, worse.

Raja and Jinkx chatted idly about how Sharon was late. Typical, really. They laughed and switched on the old jukebox.

Maria’s eyes landed on Sharon, registered the situation and bolted, promising to come back with help.

Jose sat down and thanked the lord his mother was gone, so he could pour himself a nice cold beer and let his poor arms rest.

Sharon waited. It was all she could do.

Raja and Jinkx gasped as a panicked Maria burst through the doors, alerting them that Sharon needed their help.

Maria grabbed her son and yanked the beer away from him, yelling at him to run ahead and help the poor girl to her feet, possibly even to carry her if she became too weak to walk.

Jose thought of his poor tired arms and silently prayed as he made his way to help.

Sharon got to her feet without Jose’s help and took his arm. It would be fine once she got to her house. That was what she told herself.

She was so tiny.

She had been cleaned and swaddled in soft yellow muslin as she started to cry, and Sharon’s arms reached out instinctively to cradle her. Her cries soon quieted as she relaxed into the safety of her mama’s arms, wrapped up warm and tight into a small bundle. Her little nose peeked out from the blanket, and her rosebud lips were parted slightly in an awed reaction to being alive.

Sharon’s chest heaved with the effort but she clung on to her newborn, needing the reassurance of her warm weight as much as the baby needed her heartbeat. Maria was removing towels and Jose was running to send a message on the next ferry to Pat and Raja and Jinkx were cooing, but Sharon had only eyes and ears for her daughter.

The name had been an easy choice. An homage to the woman who had given her a home, a job and a career to build, proving that life didn’t have to disintegrate into nothing during a bad situation. Patricia may have been an old name, mostly unsuited to a small baby, but the name Sharon had chosen fitted perfectly.

“I bet that asshole Justin will kick himself when he finds out what a beautiful daughter he’s missing out on.” Raja cursed, before going starry-eyed once again and cooing at the baby. “God, she’s just stunning, isn’t she?”

Sharon sighed gently. “Don’t say his name. Please. Not in front of Trixie.”

Of course she couldn’t send any letter to him, or let him know. There was an entire, living breathing baby in her arms, and that was no small feat to try and care for. It was cruel of her to expect Justin to be able to cope with it, and even crueler for her to inflict an unwilling parent onto an innocent child. Things were better this way.

“So she’s never going to know about him?” Jinkx asked, using one finger to lightly rub against Trixie’s impossibly soft cheek.

“Never.” Sharon said firmly. “Look, she’s so small. She’s all mine.”

“She has the most tiny perfect little features…”

“She’s the image of you, Sharon. You to a T.”

The compliments kept coming, but Sharon didn’t really hear them. Her mind had drifted, trying and failing to imagine her own mother feeling the same compassion for herself as a baby. In that moment, she knew that she would endure any hardship, sacrifice anything, if it meant Trixie would be safe. She would never allow her precious daughter to come to any harm, or feel that she couldn’t go to her mama in times of need.

No, Sharon would do it differently. She would be better than her own mother, and Trixie would be better than them all. Sharon would guide her.

“Don’t make the same mistakes I did, baby girl. Do it right, unlike your mama.”

#rpdr fanfiction #our last summer #purecamp #sharon needles #raja gemini #jinkx monsoon #submission #m/f au #mamma mia au

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