#simon have him a diary for him to just write his dreams and start to know himself a little more

[willestears]

Happy 20th birthday to the bravest boy, I wish you the most normal and peaceful life, you deserve it 🎈🧡

[edvinception]

Transcript of Edvin's radio interview

This is nowhere near perfect and not a word by word translation. BUt it took me over 2 hours so...

You owe me hahaha

Some discussions of season 3 and minor spoilers but nothing huge.

I: Edvin Ryding, it will soon be time for the third season of Young Royals, that's why we are here to talk about that among other things. I just have to start off- you arrive here blonde and with what looks like a racing jacket in orange, red, beige, lots of colours. 

E: Yes, I like it, I bought it this weekend when I was in Paris and walked past a Second-Hand Store where I found it and thought it was cool. There’s something a bit cool with stark colours and logos and with the blond hair. I’m at a phase where I need to experiment a bit I think. 

I: Yeah, because as Wilhelm in young royals you don’t, Wilhelm doesn’t want to stand out.  

E: In particular it’s the way he’s been raised. He is told what to wear and how to style his hair, how long his hair is allowed to be. You should look the part so to speak. Not standing out from the norms which is what the royal family wants to portray.  

I: In season 3 he says “I’m not allowed to cut my hair shorter” 

E: Exactly, he’s trapped in those norms. I remember when I tried to map Wilhelm down before season 1 I wrote down some of his interests and dreams. As soon as I did it I thought it was beautiful that he had these dreams, thoughts and interests but then I realised that he won’t be allowed to realise them, they will always remain vague interests. I’ve always thought of him as into fashion that’s into style but he’s stuck in history, traditions and expectation which is prominent in his whole life. In many ways, that’s what the series is about. That's the reason why he’s not allowed to cut his his hair shorter.  

I: Could you say he lives out through his love? 

E: Yeah, that's where he actually can’t resist anymore. These traditions and expectations have kept him from realising who he wants to be but when moves to Hillerska he meets Simon and realises this is a person I can be myself with, a person I’m in love with, oh wow I’m in love with him. And that becomes a catalyst for other parts of his life where he wants to be free and test his wings. 

I: And Simon can dress the way he wants and be more free. 

E: Exactly, he comes from a background where he’s allowed to be who he is with his family but when he comes to Hillerska with all those traditions he is also influenced by that and now in season three they have chosen each other and are a couple officially after the speech in season two. ANd that changes Simon's life too. He’s suddenly in the spotlight for the first time and is faced with new dilemmas with how he wants to handle things 

I: In preparation for season 1 you said you went through Wilhelm’s dreams, who it was and his limitations, the expectations on him and the rules he has to obey. What did this map look like? What was the big dream? 

E: The big dream was for him to have room to breathe and be free. I remember that Rojda Sekezöz who was conceptual director for season 1 and 2 asked us to write a diary entry from the first week of Hillerska and I wrote that Wilhelm dreams of having a good relationship with his family and his mum, for her to be only his mum. He dreams of being allowed to let loose. When we first meet him in season 1 he is kindof a party prince and that’s a way for him I believe to express the frustrations inside him that he has carried in all seasons but now in season 3 he actually lives out- He dreams of being free meets SImon and realise it’s possible. 

I: What about you Edvin? As an actor, have you changed in these seasons? It’s years of your life, You are young with alot going on but alot of things must have changed for you as an actor too? 

E: Yeah, you are right, it’s been a very live changing experience with the reach of the series and the fact that we got to make 3 seasons, alot of things have happened in my life. You are trying to find your identity and you you are. I’m very thankful for these 3 years with this show and these people. I’ve learned more than I could ever dream of from directors and all the actors. It’s been a privilege to be around what I believe is Sweden’s future in this industry. There are so many young and ambitious people. We have been free and learned so much from each other and also become very close. That’s what I will miss the most I think. 

I: Because this is the last season. 

E: Yeah it is the last season. 

I: Can you tell that you have developed as an actor. I think you can tell that you’ve gotten to know the environments, both as an actor and as the character. You are confident in some situations but also have pressure and expectations in others. Can you look at yourself from season 1 and then now in season 3 and think, “wow I’ve developed alot” 

E: Yeah, I would say that. I look back at scenes from season 1 and think “wow I’m so young” and how clueless I was. I thought I had everything under control but I’ve learned so much up until now. It was the first time I was the lead role. For a very big project and I was very nervous but Rojda was very caring and safe so she guided me. She’s not a a part of the final season but I feel like when I started working with new director that I felt alot more confident and trusted myself more. And that will get you very far as an actor. 

I: And you are meant to develop. It’s been three years. You are new at the school in the first season. Maybe it works out very well that you as an actor develop as the series does.  

E: Yeah, we’ve been shooting it for three years but the story itself takes place during one school year. But I’ve also realised that what these characters are going through in a school year is what most people experience in 3. SO it works our very well. 

I: This show has had exceptional reception. Netflix is talking about a worldwide success. You’ve already talked about this alot but how has it been for you recently? Howfrquently are fans in touch and how does it affect you? 

E: It affects me alot. In a good way. It becomes quite abstract and it’s hard to grasp it when you are on social media and sees a number. It’s hard to realise that these are real people. BUt then we’ve had opportunities where we got to meet people. When we were at Kimmy Fallon we met people and Omar had his own show with a big audience from across the world that we got to meet. Just now in Paris we met people. When you get to meet these people and they tell you what the series have meant for them and that they have met people across the world thanks to the series it feels powerful. I’m doing this because I want to move people with this artform. And with this project we’ve managed to do that. It’s huge.  

I: This will be with you your whole life, it’s a milestone. 

E: Definitely! 

I: BUt you were in Paris to talk about the show? 

E: No, I was in Paris for Fashion Week. There’s alot of love on social media, of course unpleasant people too and I have periods in my life where I can handle it better and periods where I’m not as good and when people around me get affected it’s harder for me to handle but I’ve kept away from social media for a bit. Now that I went to Paris it was because i wanted to and I didn’t share it on social media but people found me there anyway and wanted to talk. It was beautiful 

I: And the future? Do you get people contacting you from other countries asking you to be part of things? 

E: If only it was that simple! 

I: Not really, I’ve signed with an American agency in autumn 2021 and I’ve worked with them for a while now. That work continues and I talk about projects abroad continuously and they will come. I’m trying to not stress it. 

I: Sounds smart. 

E: I think so. To think sustainable. At the same time, the industry is very global and you can reach an international audience with stories from Sweden. It doesn’t hurt to do projects here that I want to do. At the end of the day it’s about the story, and portraying characters. It doesn’t matter where. It’s about working with talented people.  

I: Are you rich now?  

E: Yeah, I’m doing well money wise. Maths was never my subject so I struggle to be on top of that myself. 

I: But with the third season, were there opportunities to negotiate?  

E: Eh...I’m pleased with my economy. But of course, since this has been so successful you are in a better position to negotiate. But ti’s not about money for me. It’s never a factor in me saying yes or no to a project. 

I: We talked a bit about the US and reaching out with a story. But when it comes to acting, how do you improve apart from working on things, you’ve worked alot, the abyss among others. BY the way do you remember your first project on Svt? Mannen under trappan? 3x1 hours you told me. Do you remember? How old were you? 

E: I was five, I do remember parts of it. It was my parents that pitched me and handled everything. THey have always supported me in all my decisions. If I didn’t like it I didn’t have to do it. It’s supposed to be fun and feel right. I’m thankful for that and it carry it with me. Even if it was a dark story, it was a thriller, and Jonas Karlsson had schizophrenia, his character. I remember it s fun. There was a trampoline and we got candy when we worked at night. We played. We had a fantastic director that unfortunately is no longer with us, Daniel LInd Lagerlöf. He was great with us kids, it was me and Johanna Hintze that played the kids. I remember it as a fun experience. 

I: It made you want to do more? 

E: Yeah, evidently. 

I: About improving, and your tools as an actor, do you work on that? BY working? 

E: In a way you do...in recent years I’ve started to spend more time with the people I call the future of the industry. Actors from Royals...other co workers. I surround myself with people that are driven and ambitious and want to improve. It's a good thing because it makes me want to improve as well. You have drinks night and improvise scenes, it comes back to that naturally because everyone is so ambitious, You get inspiration right from the street. That woman for instance, she’s talking in her phone and she has 100 things going on in her life, she’s getting inside the car... things like that you pick up. You pick them up when you improvise and then you bring it along to set. It’s a craft which I love and die for. It’s amazing and you get obsessed with it. 

I: So Friday night, you and your friends, drinks and improvisation.  

E: Totally. You let loose. The people I surround myself are very driven and want to write their own things. Felicia Maxime comes to mind, we’ve done Young Royals, Avgrunden and A part of you together. Amazing actress, and also a script writer and director and very driven. She pushes me to let loose and improvise things. We can have coffee or drinks and brainstorm ideas and we can spend an hour in character and it’s wonderful. 

I: Do you write anything? 

E: I’ve gotten closer to that in recent ideas and have had ideas in my head that I write down. I recent year I’ve concretised them and written them down. It’s alot of fun but very hard. Then it’s good to have people around you that are experienced who I can learn from. I’m a person that puts alot of expectation on myself and can struggle to admit that I don’t know as much as the people around me and it’s been a process to get to a place where I can trust that I just need to learn more. 

I: To be vulnerable? 

E: Definitely. I feel like I’ve learned alot about that and that I can be vulnerable in private but in my working life it’s hard. It’s an industry with alot of expectation and pressure and you need to get picked. It’s not surprising that you try to be tough. But you get far by being vulnerable because it allows you to learn new things.  

I: You have alot of fans. People write about you and Omar, it’s intense, you’ve shot alot and you've been in other things as well. Is it hard to separate the private person Edvin and the actor Edvin? 

E: Yeah I’ve struggled with that. I think it’s because in season 1 alot of things happened and quite intensively and I had to create a character and as soon as Young Royals is brought up that character starts working. It was thar character that answered questions and used social media, all that. And they kinda merged which hit me just recently. It’s been hard to separate. It’s not surprising that you have these different persons. You have your business self and your social self but it’s important to separate for your ow mental health and I work on being able to do that. 

I: Do you have a bit to go to get there? 

E: Yeah I think so and that’s okay. I will be in different situations, that’s what I work with, to be different characters and I do with with alot investment. You give it your all and dives deeply. It will take a while but I need to accept that. 

I: So it’s the interview person here today. Not the private person Edvin? 

E: I think you’ve gotten a bit of a mix; I feel like. I’ve been quite open with some of my issues. Congrats.  

I: I have to say I got a bit surprise, seeing you in that Jacket from Paris, the blond hair and the trousers, it feels like you’ve toughened up. 

E. Maybe I have.That’s interesting... maybe I have. 

I: It’s only based in the image I have of you. I’ve met you once or so before. 

E: I’m in a period of my life where I... I’ve also grown up on set and it made me grow up faster than many other people my age and now I’m in a period of my life where I experiment and I’m the same vulnerable person on the inside and I’m very adamant about being open about my feelings and I think it's very important but I experiment more when it comes to the looks. 

They rambled about the weather at the end but I didn't include it.

[murasakispace]

[COD MW2 HCS] 141 + Los Vaqueros + König with a Neutral Gender! Writer! Reader

A/N : How come we never see a Reader as a writer in whatever fandom - or am I blind - in headcanons ? I mean... So many people writing amazing fanfictions or headcanons on this platform or everywhere else and... No ? Really ? We’re talking about a military Reader here, by the way. 

TW : none (for once) except the ugly typos you may encounter. Only one very little mention of smutty litterature 

John “Soap” MacTavish 

So... Let’s start with our lovely Scottish sergeant 

It is apparently canon that he likes to draw on a small notebook he keeps with him dearly. 

So he knows. He is acquainted with the ‘writer’s zone’ we flee into when inspiration holds us within its graceful arms. When the images of action flood through out brain when a stroke of genius light up our features and how we appear lost in some kind of parallel universe only us are able to interact with (well... it’s how it looks like for me, feel free to comment - writer or not - how your imagination works) 

However, Soap is mostly aware about the tropes and what we can consider as the technical side of writing such as relashionship dynamics for your characters - if it implies the said relashionships - 

I think he is the kind to prefer roomates universes because of the domesticity he is able to find there and friendship warms his heart. Although, that’s just an impression. 

He is actually the biggest help out of the 141 because when he draws he also uses the codes of his type of creation for his cute doodles you suspect him to scribble on the yellowed paper of his little diary. 

He knows what it is to lack of insipiration, even though he tends to throw his thoughts on the paper and reproduces his surroundings. 

He appreciates the smallest details that compose his world. He notices them all. 

But I digress. 

You two share a world not so accessible for the rest of the team. When you talk about [Insert fiction character of trope here] in a very specific context, the others gaze at you confused. 

More than writing, it is a little sweet thing you two share and you would never lose that for anything in the world.

Simon “Ghost” Riley 

He... Understands... Not like Soap. He doesn’t have that much imagination. 

He gets it is your hobby. It is as valuable as any other activity. 

Simon thinks it’s cute in some way. You, lost in thought, next to him, about and into something he can’t quite grasp. And a sheet of paper or the blank screen of an app on your tablet or whatever device you judged comfortable.

At first, you asked for his help about some details, or his opinion, or his advice. Then, you understood he was too down-to-earth and wounded by his abusive past to allow himself to relax this way next to you. 

Yet, you used your hobby as a way to stay with him as a support. He had just to tug a bit at your sleeve and all your attention would be on him. 

It was the first step. 

You understood quickly that your writing might be able to help him unwind and finally get comfortable. 

You write him silly stories, made for him to laugh, or to smile at least. It wasn’t a big deal, just fables. You have no idea what he does with it. You just hope it enables him to dream even if just during the day like a fleeting thought clinging to him. A distant echo of something nice his heart and his memory agreed on keeping dearly underneath his leaden shell. 

You also may be the one reading your own stories to him. But the mistakes, the inconsistencies or the lack of meaning and every little flaws in your writing may appear much more visible once clearly uttered. 

By dint of effort, you manage to soften him a bit. He doesn’t want to ask you if he could read either what you are writing or if you have something for him. However, he eventually hopes within the depth of his heart that he can flee from reality for a few minutes. 

He is so grateful to you even though he is bitter on the fact he can’t bring you much constructive criticism. 

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick 

Another one who understands one might have such a hobby but he may not relate. 

I don’t see Gaz as someone who reads a lot. It’s just not his thing. He’ll read for sport news or something related to one of his own hobbies. 

I guess he doesn’t have the patience to sit somewhere comfortable and allow his mind to wander this way thanks to your words. 

Except maybe when he desperately needs to unwind and his thoughts are too noisy so he needs to occupy his plagued mind with something totally different. 

However, he is curious about the creation process. 

He’ll ask about your ‘tools’ after you explain to him that your scenario and elements of the story doesn’t entirely pop out of thin air and you may have to rethink and to shape your ideas to make up a story both understandable and enjoyable. 

He laughs when he notices about your nonsensical Internet history. How can it be so weird ? And then, he remembers what kinds of research he does when the night isn’t kind to him and he doesn’t laugh anymore.

Sometimes, your brain amazes him. You sound so cool when you take the time to explain some of your ideas. 

Kyle is awesome at helping you for worldbuilding. He has a lot of imagination when he manages to leave his military universe on the side and peeks at yours. 

He is an excellent beta reader since he is actually very neutral about writing in general and he’ll try to give you the most help possible when you ask him. Too short ? Too long ? Not enough or too much emphasis on a detail ? He just aims at your betterment ! 

John Price 

You are a writer ? Well... As long as you do your duty you can be whatever you want. 

He is neutral with the idea of you being a writer. He is a soldier before anything. And a leader at that. He’ll support you because Captain Dad... I mean... Captain Price always supports his team but sometimes the said team gives a hard time to his comprehension and patience. 

You’re mostly quiet, with music for your ears, typing or penning something on a sheet of paper. Moreover, it seems like you have some sort of natural distance with Soap’s or Gaz’s - or both - usual chaos. 

Price has to say that it amazes him how you are distant of everything when you are in what Soap would call a writer’s fever. 

By the way, he happens to watch over you both when Soap draws and you write on the couch of the common room. If you both eventually show him what you created - if you don’t he will not force you - he’ll gaze at you like a proud momma duck despite his best behavior. 

He is mostly the one staring in disbelief as you use vocabulary, tropes, imaginary events for your own type of art since he can’t understand it even though you all speak the same language. 

Price notices very early you are a skilled writer, or at least you have some experience. The reports he gets from you are probably the best from the soldiers he got under his orders. He might have something to say about the spelling and the shape of your letters if you give him handwritten reports. Depends on you I guess. 

He will not ask to read what you write. You can call that the appropriate distance induced by hierarchy. You remain soldiers. You may as well act like it. 

Sometimes, you’d like his opinion. An outside point of view about your work is always good, no ? Well... John Price has a Ghost syndrome. He is annoyingly ass deep in his military life. Hence, he faces a very limited imagination except when it comes to interrogate an enemy. 

The worst about him is that he could be an amazing beta reader. Constructive criticism and probably giving you ways to improve yourself in what you already are so good at. 

Just give him time. He’ll get interested one way or another. First, you may try to be closer emotionally to him. Might be a good start to go past this military hierarchy and to know what his tastes are to get his heart beat only at the tone of your phrasing with your unique talent 

Rodolfo Parra 

He thinks it’s so cool to have a hobby as enjoyable as he thinks you have just by the way you act when you are writing. 

Rudy doesn’t have the time to delve that deeply into a hobby. Los Vaqueros constantly demand his attention. However, when he gets the time he - like Gaz - tries to ask about the process of writing. He even tries to write by himself. 

You explained about the tropes and dynamics and he seemed to get it immediately. Childhood friends to lovers is his favorite one by the way. 

It was just a little story he came up with. It was the first thing that stuck to his imagination, appearing out of an obscure place of his brain. It was uncertain, somewhat shaky but simple and, in a way, adorable.  

He almost took it personally when you said this small piece of text was just like him. 

However, before you sink even deeper in awkwardness, you dismissed this last interaction and tried to correct him the best you could. 

After that, he was looking forward the little time when you could write with him and he could learn. Another thing, it’s quiet around you, focused, relaxed. Alejandro knows where to find him when he is looking for his right hand. 

He could be an amazing beta reader if he wasn’t so kind. He forgives you everything. “Have you noticed inconsistencies or flaws ?” you’d ask. “Maybe a little something here but I’m sure it’s me” he’d reply. Unnerving, right ? The gentlest reader but you don’t need him to be so nice. You need him to be observant. 

He also comes up with very simple ideas when it comes to writing but his way of apprehending things has something one can’t quite describe. My closest synonym would be a vibe, something like raw talent that only needs to be explored thoroughly. It resembles to cutting a diamond, sharpen the edges to make it glistening and precious. 

His imagination is not too chaotic but his thinking and reasoning develops and fill in the gaps of his originality. 

Anyways, Rudy is amazing. As always. 

Alejandro Vargas 

There has to be one who does not take you very seriously. Well... It is Alejandro. The Mexican colonel is... something else, to say the least. He considered himself a man of action and not a man of words. So, to him, whatever you were doing with those scraps of paper during your free time was none of his business. 

He’ll try some kind of joke with you writing nasty things in the secret of that little head of yours. Two answers now. “No, colonel, I’m not into writing that kind of litterature” would be the first reponse with a hint of scorn hidden behind your deadpan aspect. 

The second answer though... “Yeah ! I write smut ! Now that we’re talking about that, do you mind if I use your features for my next...” and then you proceed to make a very descriptive, thoroughly explained speech about your imaginary Alejandro and what you planned him to do in this small story of yours. The point was to make the colonel embarassed. Although, it worked better on Rudy who went blushing like a tomato. 

If you choose the second option, it will end up in nasty jokes each time you meet each other. This silly game is absolutely unsufferable for everyone making the mistake to listen to you. 

If anything, your relashionship suffers from this disregard. You didn’t ask Alejandro’s appreciation, hardly tolerance even but it left a sort of bitter taste. Rudy is... Kinder. More understanding. 

However, what happens is that you tend to be consequently more distant from Alejandro. It may have been a silly joke about a pastime of yours but writing is so personal that it was as if he made a joke about your own self and this was intolerable. He had no business disrespecting you this way. 

Beyond that, you banished him from your writing process. His opinion, his hypothetical help, what he might like to see within a story - doesn’t matter how silly it may be - he was no part of it. 

If he changes his mind, you’d tend to retort him something alike “Let’s stay in our own field of expertise colonel. Let me dream about my stories. And you, dream about chasing El Sin Nombre. Good fences make good neighbors as one says”. 

Something that also might happen is that Rudy’s new habit of unwinding with you quietly in the common room and having long conversations with you about that hobby you were now both sharing made him feel weird. Alejandro was surely passionate and admitting he’s wrong - at least for this - was no part of his character but this was the proof he should’ve acted differently. The realisation took its time but he eventually accepts the fact he made an asshole of himself. 

He’ll apologise when he catches you alone, writing. Now the question may be about how much time do you want to play with him for having been such an arse. 

Eventually, Alejandro learns his lesson and he even asks you to read what you write. When he’s done, he is so silent, gawking. You laugh at him. 

König 

Our gigantic, adorable Austrian operator is a book worm. It’s horrendous. The heavy bullying he has been a victim got him to be safe between the shelves of library. The scent of old paper and the calm of the library got him out of his skin, journeying between worlds out of his appalling daily life. He was typically the dreamy, lonely kid who had characters inside his head as sole company. 

So yeah. Books mean relief, respite, getaway for him as well as a way to heal himself from the pain he received from his classmates or whoever hurt him in his younger days. 

He doesn’t have much time for reading anymore and these books are a little too bulky for the small package he was allowed to have. So having you near him is like a blessing. He can talk out his thoughts.  

Beyond writing, it is the vibe around you that convinces him to sit next to you in the common room. He tried to make himself small, to not take too much of the couch but you couldn’t deny his thigh touching yours. You raised your head and smiled at him. König did not utter a single word, already flustered to fail at conversing. But, as time goes on - and after numerous times he just sat next to you enabling himself to move a muscle - you made most of the conversation. He felt almost immediately at ease. 

You two daydream together now, talking about little things always related to writing or reading. It is also a way to relax after close calls and the danger of being killed. 

He is the KING at worldbuilding. König has always several ideas coursing through his brain. His mind is sometimes chaotic, full of details. He gave you the impression once that telling the history of one of this world would create a great saga on it own. Moreover, König is so passionate about these little bouts of thoughts put together. 

He is also very aware about tropes and dynamics. His favorite of the latter is the small protector x the big shy character because he can relate. And he also has a soft post for a good ol’ mutual pining or a hypothetical love at first sight - as unlikely as it seems in real life - 

He doesn’t try to write with you though. He knows he is not too good at this, which is weird considering the tremendous amount of time he can spend while reading. Although, König knows he may have a chance if he writes in German. It depends on you being able to understand him or not.

König is also a dissatisfactory beta reader, different from Rudy though. He doesn’t dare utter what he judges as flaws because he thinks he’d lose you. He is so happy to be the first reading whatever you are working on because it makes him feel so special. 

He always supports you and tries to relax you when pangs of frustration creeps inside your mind because your writing doesn’t go the way you plan it to be. 

Just like with Soap, what you two have is not understandable by the people around you. What’s more is that König’s anxious nature tends to keep you both distant from the people outside of your little bubble. 

[serafiel-jacobs]

Cinders (Fanfic)

New chapter from my main series 🩷

“Pinocchio, Pinocchio wake up already” Gemini was scolding him, it was already 12 pm.

“Just a little more,” Pinocchio said in a drowsy voice while snuggling more into his covers.

“You have your lesson with Lady Antonia at 2 pm” Gemini got on top of his head, jumping up and down to make him get up, “You have to get ready already”

“Gemini let me sleep” Pinocchio was annoyed but gave in and decided to get ready.

“You have been oversleeping a lot lately” Gemini gave out a sigh, “You have to be responsible about this”

“I just really like sleeping” Pinocchio was getting ready while talking, “It’s um, I don’t know how to explain but it feels very good”

Pinocchio wasn’t able to sleep when he first came to be, but when he gave Sophia life again he fell asleep and when he woke up he felt so much better, by the time he had faced Simon he constantly felt exhausted even if he didn’t know that physically he was fine. Then he wasn’t able to sleep again, it was odd but he thought maybe he only fell asleep because of Sophia.

But then he gained the ability to sleep again out of nowhere, he doesn’t understand it but he doesn’t question it anymore.

“I like dreaming” Most of the time, he still has nightmares sometimes, awful that the first dream he ever had was a nightmare.

But his other dreams are always so nice and pleasant, it makes him feel good but also safe, he often dreams of his loved ones and that’s why he likes it so much. Sometimes he dreams strange things, like being in some strange place like a field or inside a building but despite being alone in those dreams he doesn’t feel scared, it feels weirdly nostalgic for some reason.

He has started to write a few of his dreams in his diary, it’s fun to describe them.

“Well, dreaming does look like it’s relaxing” Gemini doesn’t sleep, he just enters his rest mode and can “wake up” when he wants to, “But you can’t oversleep all the time”

“Gemini dreams are just… special”

“I understand Pinocchio but dreams are just dreams” Gemini knows that his best friend is just enjoying life, Pinocchio enjoys even the most simple things about it, “You have to eat something now”

“You are not my father Gemini,” Pinocchio said in a playful tone.

Both of them laughed and Pinocchio finished getting ready, he ate and waited for a bit, before making his way to see his mother.

——

Pinocchio had just finished his lessons, and he wanted to spend some time with his mother but she had matters to attend to managing the hotel.

The boy made his way towards the exit when he saw someone was having trouble at the Hotel Lobby, a girl who was carrying too much luggage by herself.

“Do you need help?” Pinocchio asked but he grabbed some of that luggage without waiting for an answer, as she was about to drop them.

“Oh you don’t have to” The girl smiled at him, “But thank you so much, since you already have”

“Are you here on vacation?” Pinocchio wanted to start a conversation, but she looked a bit stressed.

“Well, not really a vacation, my family is here to attend some private matters” The girl gave out a sigh because she knew that truly she would be the only one to not have fun and only work. “Oh but where are my manners? My name is-“

“Cinderella!”

Cinderella turned around, her sister Drizella was calling for her.

“Our room is ready, come here and take our bags to our room!” Drizella shouted at her.

Anastasia signals to her expectantly and Lady Tremaine, her stepmother gives her the cool dead look of dissatisfaction.

“It was nice to meet you” Cinderella’s voice showed her sadness and she took the luggage and left with her family.

Pinocchio watched her leave and couldn’t help to feel bad, but he didn’t know her family, maybe they were just stressed from their trip?

Before Pinocchio made his way back home, he looked for Spring, wanting to say a proper goodbye. The cat had become even more affectionate towards him, his mother says that he is Spring’s little hero.

When he finally found Spring, it was odd, her cheeks weren’t supposed to be this big…

“Spring!” Pinocchio grabbed the cat, “Spit it out! Spit it out!” he shouted at her as he shook her.

The cat had no choice but to comply, a tiny brown mouse emerged from her mouth and Pinocchio grabbed it, holding it gently in his hands.

“Bad kitty! Bad!”

Spring just turned around and waved her tail in frustration.

“Pinocchio let’s go outside and leave the poor thing there” Gemini knows that it’s best to set it free, but it’s odd to see a mouse, Lady Antonia takes great care of this place, no way are there any pests in here.

The tiny mouse shook his head over and over again, trying to speak to them.

“Uhhh are you someone’s pet?” Gemini asked.

The mouse nodded, even though he wasn’t technically a pet, he was a friend.

After a game of charades, the mouse explained who he was looking for, a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes, wearing clothes that resembled those of a maid.

“You mean Cinderella?” Pinocchio was glad he had heard her name before she left.

The mouse nodded again enthusiastically.

Pinocchio made his way to the front desk, Polendina was there and he asked him if he could tell him which room Cinderella was in.

“Unfortunately Pinocchio, room information is something private between the guests, but I could send someone to fetch her and tell her to come to the lobby,” Polendina said in his usual polite tone.

Polendina did so, and a few minutes later, Cinderella was back in the Hotel Lobby, and soon as he saw the mouse in Pinocchio’s hands she rushed toward him.

“Oh Jaq! Was so worried when I couldn’t find you” Cinderella took him and now Jaq was in her hands, “What happened to your clothes?”

Pinocchio and Polendina turned to look at Spring, who proceeded to simply hiss at them.

Cinderella laughed, “Oh don’t worry I don’t hold any ill will, a cat must do what cats do”

Spring perked up after that, rubbing herself in between Cinderella’s legs.

“Miss Cinderella, please forgive this inconvenience” Polendina was apologetic, specially since Hotel Krat does allow pets to stay, would have been a disaster if Pinocchio hadn’t noticed.

“It’s alright, no harm done in the end,” Cinderella said with a smile. It reminded her a little of Lucifer’s antics, that cat is a little mischievous as well.

“I could give you some small clothes” Pinocchio has a few clothes for Gemini in his Hotel room.

“You are very kind”

——-

Pinocchio handed her down a small red shirt, and since Jaq is a slim mouse it fit him perfectly.

The mouse began to talk to Cinderella. Pinocchio and Gemini could almost seem to understand him, but they couldn’t make it out correctly.

“Oh of course you look wonderful Jaq!” Cinderella was in a better mood now.

“You can talk with animals?!” Pinocchio was excited, he had never seen someone do so and the princesses in his books talk with them.

“Well more or less,” Cinderella began to explain, “Jaq and the other mice have their language, as for others, well I do not fully understand the words, but I do seem to understand what they mean”

“That’s so cool, just like a real princess”

“I could only dream of such honor”

“Dreams are so fun, I told you Gemini!” Pinocchio took his cage and set it on the table, Gemini jumped to Pinocchio’s shoulder to join in better in the conversation.

“They are fun Pinocchio but like I said, it’s bad to oversleep”

“Dear, dreams are more than just fun” Cinderella put Jaq next to her shoulder, mimicking how Gemini was standing in Pinocchio.

“Really?!” Pinocchio was so happy; no one ever talks to him about dreams.

Cinderella felt happy, she liked this boy so kind, so full of life. It reminded her of when she was a child, before her father passed away, she has changed some much since then, she doesn’t mind her new calm demeanor, but she wishes it didn’t come because she had to mature so fast.

Something about this boy seemed… a little different, she could hear him, rather she could hear the sound of springs coming from him.

“Is something wrong?” Pinocchio was worried, Cinderella had stayed quiet for too long.

“Please forgive me” She apologized, “Maybe I am daydreaming, I could have sworn I heard the sound of machines inside your body”

“Huh? How did you know?!” Pinocchio was stunned, that hadn’t happened since he fought against… the white lady, it made Pinocchio feel sad.

“So you really are a puppet?!” Cinderella was stunned, she had seen plenty of puppets ever since she arrived at Krat, and her sisters kept talking about them.

“Mother, why don’t we get one? To help with chores?” Anastasia had asked.

“We do not need them, we have Cinderella,” Her stepmother said bluntly.

A little help on the house chores would have been appreciated…

“Well yes but actually no” Pinocchio gave her the short version of the answer.

“You must have some musical talent Cinderella, impressive that you could hear them” Gemini chirped.

“I enjoy singing from time to time, but I am not an expert or that good��� Cinderella was underestimating her talent.

Jaq began to speak again and even made motions to motivate Cinderella.

“Thank you Jaq, you are always so kind to me”

“Can you tell me more about dreams?” Pinocchio had little stars in his eyes.

“A dream is a wish your heart makes” Cinderella had become even more radiant, her shy demeanor completely gone. “Dreams can come true if you keep believing”

“What kind of wish?” If Pinocchio had a tail, he would be wagging it right now.

“If you tell a wish you won’t come true silly”

They wanted to keep the conversation going, but Polendina said that Cinderella’s family was calling for her, and unfortunately their conversation had to be cut short.

——

The next day, Pinocchio overslept again, this time his father was the one to wake him up.

“Son, wake up” It was time for a lesson, Geppetto takes time off work to teach his son about different things, “You need to learn more about history”

This time, Pinocchio got up with that much resistance, as he loves it when his father teaches him things, well he loves to learn im general but it’s special when his father does it.

Geppetto deep down knows that Pinocchio would be able to learn things more constantly if he was enrolled in school but he wants to be there for him as much as he can and he is happy homeschooling his son. He also knows that he feels this way because of his regrets when raising Carlo but he is self-aware enough to not let this affect the way he teaches his son about things.

When they were done, Geppetto suggested that they both go together to the beach and spend some time together bonding as father and son.

——-

Lady Tremaine isn’t fond of beaches, but her daughters annoyed her until she gave in, and she makes Cinderella do the hard work of giving them food and tending to their needs.

She had come to Krat only because her daughters were left an inheritance, she had a relative living in Krat who recently passed away, and her daughters were fond of them, but she wasn’t. Anastasia and Drilleza are under the impression that she is the one to hold the money until she dies, in reality, the money was given directly to them, but Lady Tremaine isn’t going to let them know that, as long as she gives them money here and there, they won’t suspect a thing.

“We must head back to the Hotel” Lady Tremaine doesn’t like the sun, she wants to leave already, in fact, they will leave first thing in the morning, she is just here for the money.

“Cinderella, fetch us a carriage”

Cinderella did as she was told, but the place was extremely filled with people, and the only carriage available did not have space for all of them.

“Cinderella has to stay behind,” Drizella said in a snarky tone.

“Yes Cinderella, is going to have to find another carriage” Anastasia joined her sister.

“Unfortunately Cinderella this must be the case,” Lady Tremaine said.

“But-“

“Silence!”

Cinderella kept quiet, she knew better than to defend herself. Her stepmother handed her a small amount of money.

“You better not waste this, I counted and I expect the exact change” Lady Tremaine stared at her with hatred in her eyes.

“I understand” Cinderella’s voice was low, barely finding her voice.

Her family left, it would take a while before she would be able to get a way home. Cinderella walked around, she just wanted to get her thoughts away from the situation.

“Jaq I don’t know what to do” Cinderella had sadness in her voice.

She is smart, she knows that her stepmother is taking advantage of her, that she is using her as a maid when the home belongs to her when the money her father left her should be rightfully hers, she is an adult but is unable to claim it, as her stepmother has hidden all the important documents she will need to reclaim it.

And even if she did so, she doesn’t have the heart to quick her out, her father loved that woman, and her stepmother didn’t act the same way she treats her now, that is, in front of her father, but when she father passed away, there was no reason to hide her true colors, yet she still feels like she would be betraying her father if she makes her leave the home.

Not to mention poor Drizella and Anastasia, they weren’t always like this, they used to be kind, genuinely kind, Cinderella was specially close to Anastasia, as children they would bond together. But her stepmother spoiled them until they become rotten girls like they are now, but Cinderella knows deep down that they are good people, she doesn’t have the heart to leave them without a home.

Cinderella kept walking, too consumed by her thoughts to pay proper attention to her surroundings. Ending up in a place where no one else was to be found.

“Take the girl, she looks like a maid, no one will miss her”

Cinderella had no time to react to what she just heard, she felt someone grab her and before she knew it, she was dragged away somewhere else.

——

Cinderella was unconscious, Jaq had to do something, he had hidden under her clothes and saw how they shoved her inside of those boats that were on shore.

Being small, he managed to fit under a hole in the door that held her captive, he ran and ran until he found the exit, once on the beach he panicked, he desperately tried to get the attention of others but no one paid attention, some even tried to step on him.

He started to feel like it was all hopeless until he saw a familiar face and rushed towards him and climbed on top of them.

“Huh, Jaq?” Pinocchio recognized him and held him in his hand. “Is Cinderella nearby?”

“Is she a friend of yours son?” Geppetto asked.

There was no time to answer, Jaq frantically began to make gestures and move his hands, it didn’t take them long to understand.

“Someone kidnapped her?!” Pinocchio shouted this was bad, really bad.

“We have to save her” Gemini knows that they need to act quickly.

Jaq pointed at one of the boats, it was a big one and it looked like it was abandoned by its state, no one ever went close to it.

Pinocchio drew in his weapon, he always carries one just in case. They decided it was best for Jaq to stay with Geppetto as they already knew how to find her.

“Son, be careful” Geppetto knows what his son is capable of, but as a father, he still worries about him.

Pinocchio nodded and made his way towards the boat.

[eleanor-bradstreet]

Director's Commentary

I'm going to need you to tell me how Number Ten came to be. That was the first fic of yours that I ever read and I knew you were going to be my cup of tea!

When did you first realize that angst was something you enjoyed exploring? What is it about whump, specifically, that you gets your blood pumping? Does writing the happy ending ever feel like the wrong thing to do?

Trust you to come in with the big gun questions 😘 I expect nothing less. Hoo boy, okay. Number Ten. I am fascinated by the concept of 'Viscount Benedict'. Because it's a reality in the Bton world that is close enough to almost taste, but is never explored. We are always one breath away from this bizarre timeline that is depressing for everyone - especially him - and I simply had to get inside his head and see how he would react if that turned out to be his fate (because I love him and would happily write a fictional diary that documented his actions and emotions every day of his life birth to death because I have a problem. Anyway....)

Yes, Benedict was born out of the love of his parents, but as the second son, it is the functional purpose of his life to be the 'spare' and take on the title if the unthinkable should happen to Anthony. And in the duel of book/season one, we are faced with the very real possibility that Anthony could die. I feel the immensity of this risk definitely gets lost in the shuffle of the show episode, with so much focus on Simon and Daphne and Benedict being an underdeveloped character at that point. There is the great scene in the study beforehand where Anthony says "hey bro, your life as you know it is over tonight. Hope you enjoyed your little druggy art party. You'll be the Viscount in the morning no matter how his goes" and all we got out of Benedict was a pained glance (exceptional acting by LT of course, but there is SOOOOOOO much that went unexplored here).

LadyJenevia is a media critic and Benedict stan and she is desperate to get on the Bton press junket to interview LT and ask him the very pertinent question of how much weight he carried into the duel scenes of Benedict thinking he would walk off that field either as functional Viscount with a fugitive brother, or literal Viscount with a dead brother, and how that informed his acting choices. It's an incredible question and deserves to be asked. I think I was chewing on this when one weekday morning I let my mind stray to the darkest timeline and saw Benedict screaming as he shook Anthony's lifeless body. Because we were thhhiiiiisssss close to that, but I don't think any audience attention was drawn to that potential reality, or how that would impact Benedict or his siblings. Anthony was seen as a hotheaded asshole at this point and attention was largely on Simon. (Even I walked away from S1 not knowing Benedict's name, so I get it.)

So the scenes started to play out in my head (I checked AO3, this was a Tuesday, I should have been working), and I felt his desperation and terror in those moments, heard his screams, saw his panic as his brother and his life and his dreams died in his arms. I saw Anthony fall (an accident of course, Simon was not intending to shoot him, but Daphne fked it up), I saw everyone in denial, Daphne screaming, Anthony fading, Benedict showing up back home covered in blood and having to explain to his mother what happened. I even saw scenes of him losing it on Daphne and blaming her, and also opening up and crying to Eloise about it all (but these weren't written/maybe I'm saving stuff for another WIP). This alternate timeline had to be explored, because we were so damn close to it and it would be an entirely different Bton universe, balanced on Benedict's shoulders, if just a couple factors were changed. So it just poured out of me in a couple hours and I posted it immediately. This was one of those brain-movies and it felt like unburdening myself to get it down on the page for others to see 😛 And of course at the end of the day, this is an act of love for Benedict. Because as crushed and miserable as he would be by it all, he wouldn't run away or fail his family. He would rise to the occasion and do his best, but he would be a very different head of family than Anthony was. I wanted to champion his fortitude, and Anthony's single-minded focus as he died, that Ben continue the protection of the family. Because they are both amazing men aggghhhhhhh 😭

When did I realize angst and whump were my thing? Honestly, I don't think I did until just recently joining tumblr. I've been writing since summer of last year under the (perhaps misguided) assumption that the purpose of fanfic was to grind characters through bizarre scenarios of heightened emotion (be that angst, whump, smut, etc.) for gleeful wish fulfillment. Then when I saw folks calling Love to Spare 'angsty' because it had lightly conflicted romantic emotions I had a lightbulb moment of 'oh, wait til they see all the pain, grief, gore and death I've put characters through in my WIPs' 😅 My angst barometer is clearly higher than others. It definitely aligns with my taste in media, that I tend to only consume dark, angsty shows and films because the intensity/urgency of those scenarios grabs me by the gut and causes a visceral reaction. I want to feel something really hard when consuming media. It's more satisfying than letting happy fluff wash over me (though of course there are rare times for that too) because it feels like I have learned/grown through the pain and insight. Now that I have been/attempted to write a variety of fics, I see clearly that I am more motivated to write angsty and whumpy scenes and stories, than I am to write fluffy or even smutty ones, and I'm glad to have learned that about myself.

Whump, IMO, is the perfect recipe for character exploration and reader engagement. You've said it yourself - when characters are suffering and/or facing mortality, everything else is stripped away and you get justification for really raw and intense emotional interactions and personality revelations. Readers can feel the stress of the situation and wonder how it's all going to pan out, and you can deliver that joyous happy ending or devastating tragedy which forces them to examine new perspectives of the characters and world. And to answer your final question, I do think there are scenarios where happy endings are the wrong conclusion. As we all likely know and have experienced by now, that is not how the real world operates, and I think its healthy and cathartic to examine that in our media sometimes. Art imitates life, so it should imitate the times when the bad guys win, or people die, or you don't always get what you want. Not only does that make it more realistic and relatable, it creates a safe, fictional space to examine how you would respond to that scenario, and contemplate it as a potential reality you may need to prepare for. Thus, it was worth seeing how Benedict would have reacted if things had played out just an inch differently, and his whole world was transformed in an instant.

Thank you for the ask my dear 💙

[tiesandtea]

Simon Gilbert

Simon Says

We interviewed Simon Gilbert, Suede’s drummer, whose book So Young: Suede 1991-1993 is a journal and photographic document of the band’s early years that will be published October 8th. So Young has foreword by journalist Stuart Maconie and a vibrant, lively text by Simon himself, documenting his move from Stratford-on-Avon, his hometown, to London, the audition with Suede, life in the van, the early success years and the many amusing things that come with it. It is one of those rare books that make an outsider feel like they were there, in the van. Or in absurd mansions in L.A. belonging to industry types. Or was it record producer(s)?…

The conversation extended to Coming Up, Suede’s third album that turned 25 this year and drumming. Simon’s witty, often, one-liners contrast with my more elaborate questions, proving an interesting insight into our way of writing/replying.

by Raquel Pinheiro

So Young: Suede 1991-1993

What made you want to realease So Young?

I was searching through my archives when researching for the insatiable ones movies and found lots of old negatives and my diaries. They had to be seen.

When and why did you start your Suede archives?

As you can see from the book, it stared from the very first audition day.

From the concept idea to publishing how long did it took you to put So Young together?

30 years … I’ve always wanted to make a book since I was first in a band.

What was your selection process for which items – diary entries, photos, etc.- would be part of the book?

I wanted to form a story visually with a few bits of info thrown in here and there, also most of the photos tie in with pages from the diaries.

Which methods, storage, preservation, maintenance, if at all, do you employ to keep the various materials in your archives in good shape?

Boxes in an attic … one thing about getting the book out is that I don’t have to worry about the photos getting lost forever. It’s out there in a book!

Other than medium what differences existed between selecting material for The Insatiable Ones documentary and for So Young?

Video and photos … photos don’t translate well on a TV screen.

Do you prefer still or motion pictures and why?

I prefer photos … they capture a particular moment in time … as video does, but there’s a unique atmosphere with a photo.

So Young’s cover photo has a very Caravaggio and ballet feeling to it. Its chiaroscuro also contrasts with the images inside.  Why did you choose it for the cover?

It was a striking shot and I wanted the book to be black and dark …it fitted perfectly.

How many of the photos on So Young were taken by you?

Probably about 3/4 my 3 school friends who were there with me at the beginning Iain, Kathy and Phillip took a load of us onstage, backstage, after  the gig, etc., photos I couldn’t take myself.

So Young can be placed alongside books like Henry Rollins’ Get in The Van and Michael Azerrad’s Our Band Could Be Your Life, that not only chronicle and show the less glamorous, more mundane side of being in a band, but also totally immerse the reader so deep in it that we are there, feeling and going through the same things. Was your selection of materials meant to convey that “band being your(our) life” sensation?

Yes, exactly that. I was fascinated by photos of bands, not on the front cover of a magazine or on TV. The other bits of being in a band are far more interesting.

In the foreword, Stuart Maconie mentions the brevity of your diary entries which, as someone who keeps diaries, I immediately noticed. Do you prefer to tell and record a story and events with images?

I haven’t kept a diary since the end of 1993 … looking back on them they can be a bit cringeful … So, yes, I prefer images.

Contrasting with the diary entries brevity your text  that accompanies So Young is lively, witty, detailed and a good description of the struggles of a coming of age, heading towards success, band. Do you think the text and images reveal too much into what it really is like being in a band, destroying the myth a bit?

I think the myth of being in a band is long gone … Reality is the new myth…

In So Young you write that when you first heard Never Mind The Bollocks by The Sex Pistols music was to be your “future dream”. How has the dream been so far?

Still dreaming … lose your dreams and you will lose your mind … like Jagger said.

Is there a reason why So Young only runs from 1991 to 1993?

Yes, I bought a video camera in 1993. It was so much easier filming everything rather than take a photo, wait 3 weeks to get it developed and find out it was blurred.

So Young has a limited deluxe numbered and signed edition already sold out. The non deluxe edition also seems to be heading the same way. How important is it for you to keep a close relationship with the fans?

So important. I love interacting with the fans and is so easy these days … I had to write replies by hand and post them out in 1993…

Playing Live Again & Coming Up

Before Suede’s concert at Qstock Festival in Oulu, Finland on 31.07.2021 you wrote on your social media “cant fucking wait dosnt come close!!!!!” and Mat [Osman, Suede’s bassist] on his “An honest-to-goodness rehearsal for an honest-to-goodness show. Finally”. How did it feel like going back to play live?

It was great. Heathrow was empty which was amazing. A bit strange to play for the first time after 2 years …., but great to get out again.

Coming Up was released 25 years ago. How does the record sound and seems to you now compared with by then?

I haven’t listened to it for a long time actually … love playing that album live … some great drumming.

Before the release of Coming Up fans and the press were wondering if Suede would be able to pull it off. What was your reaction when you first heard the new songs and realize the album was going in quite a different direction than Dog Man Star?

Far too long ago to remember.

Coming Up become a classic album. It even has its own Classical Albums documentary. Could you see the album becoming a classic by then?

I think so yes .. there was always something to me very special about that album.

Is it different to play Coming Up songs after Suede’s return? Is there a special approach to concerts in which a single album is played?

No … didn’t even need to listen to the songs before we first rehearsed … They’re lodged in my brain.

Which is your Coming Up era favourite song as a listener and which one do you prefer as a drummer?

The Chemistry Between Us.

Will the Coming Up shows consist only of the album or will B-sides be played as well?

Definitely some B-sides and some other stuff too.

Simon & Drumming

If you weren’t a drummer how would your version of “being the bloke singing at the front” be like?

Damned awful … I auditioned as a singer once, before I started drumming … It was awful!

In his book Stephen Morris says that all it takes to be a drummer is a flat surface and know how to count. Do you agree?

No.

Then, what makes a good drummer?

Being in the right band.

Topper Headon of the Clash is one of your role models. Who are the others?

He is, yes … fantastic drummer.

Charlie Watts is the other great …and Rat Scabies … superb.

She opens with drums so does Introducing the band. Your drumming gives the band a distinctive sound. How integral to Suede’s sound are the drums?

Well, what can I say … VERY!

Do you prefer songs that are driven by the drums or songs in which the drums are more in the background?

Bit of both actually … I love in your face stuff like She, Filmstar …, but ikewise, playing softer stuff is very satisfying too.

You’re not a songwriter. How much freedom and input do you have regarding drum parts?

If the songs needs it, I’ll change it.

Do you prefer blankets, towels or a pillow inside the bass drum?

Pillows.

Do you use gaffer tape when recording? If so, just on the snare drum or also on the toms? What about live?

Lots of the stuff … gaffer tape has been my friend both live and in the studio for 30 years.

What is the depth of your standard snare drum and why?

Just got a lovely 7-inch Bog wood snare from Repercussion Drums … sounds amazing. It is a 5000 year old Bog wood snare.

Standard, mallets, rods or brushes?

Standard. I hate mallets and rods are always breaking after one song. Brushes are the worst …no control.

How many drum kits have you owned? Of those, which is your favourite?

5 … my fave is my DW purple.

How long to you manage without playing? Do you play air drums?

7 years 2003 – 2010 … and never.

Can you still assemble and tune your drum kit?

Assemble, yes …tune no …have never been any good at that.

You dislike digital/electronic drum kits, but used one during the pandemic. Did you become more found of them?

Still hate them … unfortunately,  they are a necessary evil.

When you first joined Suede you replaced a drum machine. Would it be fair to say you didn’t mind taking its job?

Fuck him!

Brett [Anderson, Suede’s singer] as described the new album as “nasty, brutish and short”. How does that translates drums wise?

Very nasty brutish and short.

When researching for the interview I come across the statement below on a forum: “If you’re in a band and you’re thinking about how to go about this, get every player to come up with their own track list & have a listening party. I’ve done this, not only is it great fun, it’s also massively insightful when it comes to finding out what actually is going on inside the drummer’s head!”. What actually is going on inside the drummer’s head?

Where’s my fucking lighter!

And what is going on inside the drummer as a documentarist head? How does Simon, the drummer, differs from Simon, the keen observer of his own band, bandmates, fans, himself, etc.?

There is no difference … I’m Simon here there and everywhere…

What would the 16 years old Simon who come to London think of current Simon? What advice would you give to your younger self?

Don’t smoke so much you fool!

[twdbegins]

Dear Diary

__

Simon X Fem. Reader

Warnings: Language.

Word Count: 1,138

A/N - This idea literally came from a Tik Tok I saw.

“So, I just found a little something of yours today,” 

__

Even you would admit that you probably shouldn’t have left it sitting in the infirmary. Any sort of personal item or belonging didn’t need to be left in a room that tended to have a lot of inhabitants. That was indeed your fault. Your diary was super personal to you and you had never let anybody read it. However, in your defense, you had left it sitting on a shelf next to some other books so you could only really see it if you went looking for it. Your diary, truthfully, had not started out as a personal journaling item. You originally used it just to keep track of how many days it had been since the fall, but after about a month or so, you began writing little personal notes in the margin. 

Anything as simple as “I had a great day today” or “I really miss my sister”. Then the simple margin notes became a full summary of your day and your deepest, darkest secrets began spilling out on the page. You wrote it in the blue leather book every day and included some things that you wouldn’t be caught dead sharing with someone to their face. That’s why you were absolutely horrified when you discovered that Simon had found and skimmed through your diary. 

You couldn’t even be that mad about it because, again, you did leave it in a vulnerable area. That still didn’t stop you from getting red in the face and almost melting into a puddle on the spot. Your relationship with Simon was a little complicated. You weren’t dating, but you were best friends and both had romantic tension that nobody could deny. You had even shared a meaningful kiss in a passionate moment. You were crazy about each other, but just too blind to see it. Your diary, on the other hand, contained every thought and feeling that you correlated to Simon. Which is why you were so distraught when he read through it. 

You had been having a fairly busy day, just a few people came in the infirmary throughout the day. So, you had no problem stepping out to take a break and get some supplies from around the Sanctuary. After an hour or so, you returned to see Simon sitting on one of the examination tables with a smirk on his face. It wasn’t at all unusual for him to show up for no reason and unannounced, so at first you thought nothing of it;

“Hi,” You greeted him and approaching the cabinet to restock it. 

“Hey there, darlin’” He replied still grinning, “So, I just found a little something of yours today,” 

You were unsurprised at his statement. You had a tendency to leave your stuff laying around, hence how you got into this situation in the first place. Expecting it to be something like a backpack or a pair of boots, you kept doing what you were doing;

“Oh, yeah? And what’s that?” You asked curiously as you pushed a box of gauze pads to the side of the cabinet.

“Your diary,” He said plainly. 

You froze for a moment. Now, he had your full attention. You tried to play off your shock and continue to restock your cabinets. Immediately, you knew he had read all the things you thought he’d never know. You had a couple of options here. One, confess to it all and fling yourself at him. Two, play dumb and act like you have no idea that he just read all your sinful thoughts. Or three, threaten him and hope you never ever saw him again. Considering one option was too desperate and the other was a bit much, you decided to go with option two. Fake it until you make it. 

“You just found it? You did not just find it. You went snooping around like you always do, didn’t you?” You asked with a fake, amused smile. 

It was true and even he would admit it, Simon had a problem with going through stuff around the building. He had the curiosity of a monkey and he was proud of it. He shrugged;

“I plead the fifth,” He said with a scoff. A hot blush had crept over your cheeks now and a silence had filled the room until he spoke again as he approached you, “And I read some of the pages...”

Your heart was racing. You couldn’t even look at him. You were suddenly afraid that you had ruined your friendship and possibly even your self esteem. What if he didn’t feel the same way? There’s no way you could move forward if it wasn’t mutual. You had completely unpacked the box of supplies and you closed the cabinet doors. He was now standing next you, waiting for you to face him. You turned and looked at him, feeling like you might throw up if he didn’t hurry up and say what he was thinking.

“Do you really love me, baby?” He asked in complete awe. 

You took a breath as you tried to formulate a response. You couldn’t deny it. That wouldn’t do you or him any good. He deserved the truth and you would at least rest at night knowing you laid your feelings out on the table for him. 

“Yeah, I do. I really do,” You said feeling rather shaky and clammy; “I just...didn’t think I could say it to your face. I didn’t think you would feel the same way,” You admitted.

He looked astonished, but he responded quickly;

“You don’t think I feel the same way? Are you kidding?” He asked amazed, “You really think I would stay up late at night to listen to you gossip about saviors I don’t even know and not feel the same about you? Do you know how damn hard I worked for that first kiss we had?”

You were totally surprised at his words. You felt relief crash over you. It felt good that this wasn’t one sided;

“I just wasn’t sure. All those times sure meant a hell of a lot to me.” You said feeling your heart rate return to normal.

He smiled;

“And they did to me too. You’re the only person I’d ever spend time like that with. I’d never shit talk people like that with Negan,” He stated.

You laughed at the thought of Negan and Simon having a rant session like the ones you’ve had. This was insane and uplifting at the same time. You never would’ve thought that this was the way he’d find out. After a moment or two, Simon brought his voice down significantly and said something that put an eventful ending to your day;

“Now, you wanna tell me a little more about the dream you had about us in the shower?”

[televinita]

Books Read In 2020: The Why

In a tradition I accidentally started for myself in 2016 and now quite enjoy, at the end of the year I look back at my reading list and answer the question, why did you read this particular book?

Below, my 100 reads of 2020 are split into groups by target readership age, plus nonfiction at the end, now with a bonus note about how I heard of it. Which I probably won’t continue to do next year, but it was fun to try.

ADULT FICTION

I read each of these books because...

A Glitter of Gold - Liz Johnson. 2019. It had me at "her pirate tour business," but between the shipwreck & the museum-director love interest it was like BLOOD & TREASURE ROMANCE AU LET'S GOOO.

How I heard of it: a book blog

The Last Woman in the Forest - Diane Les Becquets. 2019.   Recommended by a dog lover; I'm down for a thriller about a woman who has a dream dog-inclusive job like this.

How I heard of it: a book blog

Good Omens - Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman. 1990. I really enjoyed the miniseries and wanted to see if the book everyone loved so much was as good (for the record: it was not. at least not if you’ve seen the miniseries first; otherwise they are probably equal).

This Is Home - Lisa Duffy. 2019. Attractive cover + I flipped it open to a random page and just liked the writing style.

How I heard of it: library

Dear Mr. Knightley - Katherine Reay. 2013. I'd had this on the back burner for a while because the MC sounded like me, and one day I got sick of not being able to find any fluffy contemporary romances with beta male heroes and decided Matthew Gray Gubler was gonna star in this one. (spoiler alert: it is a good book but that did not work)

How I heard of it: a book blog

Rubbernecker - Belinda Bauer. 2013. Criminal Minds sent me into a tailspin so I went hunting for books to cast Spencer Reid in again; the Asperger's/case-solving/difficult relationship with mother combo sounded promising. (spoiler alert: the med-student element + his social cluelessness proved too strong and I was only able to picture the kid from The Good Doctor)

How I heard of it: Googling keywords

The Swiss Affair - Emylia Hall. 2013. I got a random hankering for a student/teacher novel, and after scrutinizing the library catalog this was the only one that fit my parameters for gender, lack of adultery, and focus on romance over sex.

How I heard of it: library

Love At First Bark - Debbie Burns. 2019. I was trying to cast Wes/Jules [Dollface] in a romance novel, so I browsed through a Goodreads friend's "dog-romance" shelf and accidentally landed in a Jeid AU [Criminal Minds]. Which may or may not have been a large part of what turned me into a Jeid shipper (outside canon only).

The Mermaids Singing - Val McDermid. 1995. One final attempt to cast Reid in a novel -- a user in a Reddit post asking for this very thing suggested this, and "profiler with idiosyncracies" certainly fit.

The Wire in the Blood [and 9 subsequent novels] - Val McDermid, spanning 1997-2019. Turns out aside from being British, Reid paints onto Tony Hill EXCEPTIONALLY well, and I accidentally found myself with a little Jeid AU in the process, so obviously I read the entire series. Good crime-solving fun and all that.

Horse - Talley English. 2018. Random library pull because I connected with the writing style and it appeared to actually focus on horses.

How I heard of it: library

A Sparkle of Silver - Liz Johnson. 2018. I liked the author's other book and this was pretty much a remix of the same story, but now with a cool mansion/estate setting.

How I heard of it: looking up other books by this author

Everyone Is Beautiful - Katherine Center. 2009. Went looking for stories about strong marriages, found this on a Goodreads list of "second chance marriage" books, tripped into something like a season 9 Jim/Pam scenario. How I heard of it: Googling keywords

The Lost Husband - Katherine Center. 2013. Loved the previous book of hers I read, and the "starting life over on a goat farm" angle sounded like an ideal life to try on.

How I heard of it: looking up more from this author

The Shadow Year - Hannah Richell. 2013. Fixing up an old house?? I am THERE. Doing this in two timelines, one of which involves off-the-grid homesteading, is even better.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Mandrake Root - Janet Diebold. 1946. I needed a non-library book to bring on vacation, and after spinning in circles over what I thought would appeal to my mood in that setting, my brain randomly said "reread this one."

How I heard of it: estate sale

Path of the Jaguar - Vickie Britton & Loretta Jackson. 1989. Bought cheap for cheap thrills: a Yucatan adventure/mystery. Read now so I could get rid of it. How I heard of it: library sale

Burying Water - K.A. Tucker. 2014. The library didn't have The Simple Wild, but they DID have a book w/ an equally pretty cover that talked about a badly beaten young amnesiac (!) recovering on a horse farm (!!). What is: my top romance trope (hurt/comfort, bonus points for animals and rural setting).

How I heard of it: library

Happiness for Beginners - Katherine Center. Established quality author + summertime hiking inspiration.

How I heard of it: looking up more from this author

The Visitors - Simon Sylvester. Cool cover + setting, and a teenage protagonist usually makes adult fiction more accessible. How I heard of it: Goodreads

Becoming Rain - K.A. Tucker. 2014. I was in this companion novel solely for mentions of Alex and any people by the last name of Wells, but figured I might as well read all of it to ensure I didn't miss any. How I heard of it: looking up more from this author

The Guest List - Lucy Foley. 2020. Honestly, it just sounded like a cool thriller (and cool setting). How I heard of it: a book blog

You Deserve Nothing - Alexander Maksik. 2011. Fell down a Will/Rachel [Glee] rabbit hole and ravaged the student/teacher keyword in my library catalog again to scratch the itch.

The Haunting of Hill House - Shirley Jackson. 1959. Mom's been trying to get me to read this for years, and this time when it came up in conversation it was the right time of year, so I randomly decided to give it a shot. How I heard of it: Mom

The Walker in Shadows - Barbara Michaels. 1979. Gothic ghost story + beautiful architectural details in a historic house = yeah!

How I heard of it: Goodwill

YOUNG ADULT

People Like Us - Dane Mele. 2018. Needed an audiobook; a girls' boarding school murder mystery seemed most likely to hold my attention of the limited options. How I heard of it: Library

The Possibility of Now - Kim Culbertson. 2016. I will read anything by this author, and girl having a meltdown over a test = me. How I heard of it: looking up other books by this author

Rob&Sara.com - P.J. Petersen & Ivy Ruckman. 2004. Mostly I wanted to go back to my high school days and enjoy the format of a novel written in emails, but also, I like Ruckman. How I heard of it: used book sale

For Real - Alison Cherry. 2014. Fictional Amazing Race!! + awesome summery cover + sisters How I heard of it: library sale

The Summer After You + Me - Jennifer Salvato Doktorski. 2015. The awesome summery cover, mostly. How I heard of it: a book blog

You'd Be Mine - Erin Hahn. 2019. Gorgeous cover + the chance to vicariously follow a budding young country music star on tour for the summer.

How I heard of it: a book blog

Juniors - Kaui Hart Hemmings. 2015. The neat setting(s): a live-in guest on a wealthy estate in Hawaii. How I heard of it: Dollar store

Lion Boy's White Brother - Alden G. Stevens. 1951. Bought cheap because vintage juvenile book in a unique setting. Read now to see if I could get rid of it (NOPE).

How I heard of it: used bookstore

The O.C.: Spring Break - Aury Wallington. 2005. I keep meaning to finish this short series, and it was an easy title to count for my Mount TBR challenge.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Echo Island - Edward Karlow. 2017. Bought cheap because of the beautiful summery cover; easy read for Mount TBR so I could get rid of it. How I heard of it: library sale

Confessions of a High School Disaster - Emma Chastain. 2017. Read because of THE SUPER CUTE SUMMERY COVER (and diary format).

How I heard of it: Dollar store

Kentucky Daughter - Carol J. Scott. 1985. Working my way down the “Inappropriate Student/Teacher Relationships in YA" list because I'm in that kind of mood this year; chose this because 80s books tend to deliver the subject best*, the character reminded me of the girl in Send No Blessings, and Open Library had it. *this one was just blatant sexual harassment, though, and belonged very literally on that list

How I heard of it: Goodreads

What They Always Tell Us - Martin Wilson. 2008. I sorted the library catalog to see the oldest contemporary YA novels they still have before they get weeded, and "loner being taken under the wing of his older brother's (male) friend and falling in love with him" hit a couple of good tropes. How I heard of it: library

Bobby's Watching - Ted Pickford. 1993. Browsing around on OpenLibrary and saw they FINALLY had a copy of this book that scared me too much to finish as a kid, and which I've wanted to revisit ever since I remembered what it's called (Interlibrary Loan doesn't have it and it's Not Cheap to buy).

How I heard of it: library

Powwow Summer - Nahanni Shingoose. 2019. Always interested in modern-day Indigenous girls connecting w/ their heritage, especially if they're from my home state's tribe.

How I heard of it: a book blog

The Princesses of Iowa - M. Molly Backes. 2012. Appealing cover + heft suggesting a solid Midwestern contemporary, plus I liked the student teacher element (without a slash this time, as in "college student who is almost a teacher")

How I heard of it: library

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants - Ann Brashares. 2001. The Second Summer of the Sisterhood - Ann Brashares. 2003.

Long-intended reread of a college fave because I wanted see Mike Vogel in the movie, and it was summer so the stars aligned. Continued because the first book was as good as I remembered. (I would have kept going but Life distracted me for a bit and by the time I was back on track, it was no longer summer) How I heard of it: I...can't remember. Am the worst!

The Distance From Me To You - Marina Gessner a.k.a. Nina de Gramont. 2015. Hiking inspiration + an appealing-sounding romance. How I heard of it: Goodreads

Where Have All the Tigers Gone? - Lynn Hall. 1989. Will read any of her books, but specifically read this one because it seemed fairly autobiographical, and I read it NOW because it seemed durable enough to take on vacation. How I heard of it: looking up books by this author

And Both Were Young - Madeline L'Engle. 1949 (text of 1983 edition w/ material from original manuscript added back). Something reminded me of its existence and I requested it because it was the only non-animal-focused vintage teen novel I could physically get my hands on before Interlibrary Loan opened back up, and I had a craving for just that.

How I heard of it: library

The Other Side of Lost - Jessi Kirby. 2018. Established quality author + throw me ALL the thru-hike novels!

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Vow - Jessica Martinez. 2013. Perfect scenario to run an Abed/Annie [Community] AU!

How I heard of it: I want to say...an article on a book website (not personal blog this time) back in 2013.

Moon and Me - Hadley Irwin. 1981. Was just in the mood to read an 80s teen novel and this one helped me knock off a title for the Mount TBR challenge. From an author I like, w/ bonus horse content.

How I heard of it: used book sale.

Suicide Notes From Beautiful Girls - Lynn Weingarten. 2015. I bought a blind bag at the library sale and this was one of the only contemporary YA novels in it; figured I might as well read it since I'd liked a previous book of hers.

How I heard of it: Library

History Is All You Left Me - Adam Silvera. 2016.

With the Glee rabbit hole came a Klaine spiral; this was my season 4 Tragic AU dream for them and I've been saving it for a Klainey day ever since it was published. (No I am not sorry for that horrid pun.)

How I heard of it: googling keywords

The Museum of Heartbreak - Meg Leder. 2016. The cool cover/concept of a "museum" of items reeled me in; I bought a copy a while ago 'cause the library didn't have it. Read now to see if I could get rid of it (NOPE).

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Me & Mr. J - Rachel McIntyre. 2015. Student/teacher novel that looked especially appealingly tame so I'd been saving it, but then Open Library notified me it was now only available in 1-hour increments, and I got paranoid it would disappear altogether (it's not cheap to buy or available via ILL), so I wanted it in my brain.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Dear Evan Hansen - Val Emmich w/ Steven Levenson, Benj Pasek & Justin Paul. 2018. Fell in love with the DEH soundtrack. Play's summary sounded good -- getting to experience it in YA novel form?? Amazing.

How I heard of it: Wikipedia

Saddle a Thunderbolt - Jo Sykes. 1967

Bought a while ago because vintage horse story. Read now specifically to alleviate my pre-homesickness about moving by imagining living in an even more beautiful place than home.

How I heard of it: either a used book sale or a used bookstore...

Learning to Breathe - Janice Lynn Mather. 2018. This was mentioned on a lost-book forum and "girl with unplanned pregnancy supports herself by getting a job cleaning" piqued my interest; the setting (Bahamas) and cover made it better.

How I heard of it: Reddit

Everglades Adventure - James Ralph Johnson. 1970. Standard vintage boys' adventure-in-nature story; I like those.

How I heard of it: Goodwill

CHILDREN’S/MIDDLE GRADE

Little Women - Louisa May Alcott. 1868. Seeing the new movie and falling head over heels was what it took to FINALLY convince me to reread this childhood fave.

How I heard of it: can't remember; I was a kid

A Little Princess - Frances Hodgson Burnett. 1905. I was perusing a lot of books about classic children's books and it started to bug me that I had skipped this appealing-sounding one as a kid.

How I heard of it: can't remember; I was a kid

Little Men - Louisa May Alcott. 1871. LW sparked a fandom revival and I wanted more detail about the Marches' adult lives (esp. Jo & Bhaer), even on the fringes.

How I heard of it: library

Lady and the Tramp - Ward Greene. I saw a quote from the new movie under a gifset on Tumblr that sounded like it came from a book, and upon Googling out that one existed, I obviously could not allow the book version of a beloved childhood animal-movie fave to go unread. Especially after finding out it was super rare so reading it would be a privilege.

The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett. 1910. Read for the same reason as A Little Princess. Can’t have one without the other, you know.

How I heard of it: was a kid; can't remember

The Mother-Daughter Book Club - Heather Vogel Fredericks. 2007. Much Ado About Anne - Heather Vogel Fredericks. 2008.

Always thought the series looked cute/reminded me of The Teashop Girls, but the fact that the first book they read is Little Women gave me the impetus to finally read this one. First book was darling so I continued to the next (but failed to continue beyond because COVID shut the library down until I was out of the mood).

How I heard of it: library

Nature Girl - Jane Kelley. 2010. I wanted walking inspiration.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

From You to Me - K.A. Holt. 2018. Mistook it for a similar-looking book I'd seen at the same time (See You On A Starry Night), but figured I'd give the 8th grade bucket list idea a shot once I had it. How I heard of it: Goodreads

Semiprecious - D. Anne Love. 2006. Cute cover + I'm starting to be a big fan of what I call "contemporary historical," for stories set mid-20th century.

How I heard of it: library

Dandy's Mountain - Thomas Fall. 1967. Vintage horse-inclusive children's book in a rural setting, I'm sold. Not to mention, love reading a summer setting in summer.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Littler Women: A Modern Retelling - Laura Schaefer. 2017. The only way to make the Little Women MORE magical is to make them younger, modern, and written by a proven quality author.

How I heard of it: a book blog

Behind The Attic Wall - Sylvia Cassedy. 315 pg/1983.

A Goodreads friend strongly recommended it as similar to but better than Mandy, and reading about it in 100 Best Books For Children sealed the deal. Read now for the Mount TBR challenge.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Jigsaw Jungle - Kristin Levine. 2018. I am a COMPLETE sucker for books told in non-traditional/scrapbook-esque format.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Runt - Marion Dane Bauer. 2002. Wolf story by a quality author. Read now after owning it for a decade to see if I could get rid of it.

How I heard of it: used book sale

The King of the Cats - Rene Guillot. 1959. Bought cheap for a quick read because vintage animal story. Read now so I could get rid of it.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Just The Beginning - Betty Miles. 1976. Found cheap; always down to read a vintage book about an average girl (and I wanted to know how she'd cope with her mom being "a cleaning lady in a town full of classmates who HAVE cleaning ladies").

How I heard of it: used book sale

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - J.K. Rowling. 1997. Been meaning to reread the series for a while now; finally got motivation to check out the illustrated edition 'cause Christmastime.

How I heard of it: originally Mom; a book blog for this edition

Echo Mountain - Lauren Wolk. 2020. Almost entirely because of the incredible clipart cover, promising me nature and a dog (and because I could get it as an e-audiobook from the library).

How I heard of it: a book blog

Knock Three Times - Cressida Cowell. 2019. I needed another audiobook for bedtime/walks and I know that David Tennant will provide.

How I heard of it: more by this author (more accurately, narrator)

NONFICTION

The Red Leather Diary: Reclaiming A Life Through The Pages Of A Lost Journal - Lily Koppel. 2008. I'm kind of obsessed with the concept of historical 5-year diaries -- and finding one like this is The Dream.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

I'd Rather Be Reading: The Delights and Dilemmas of the Reading Life - Anne Bogel. 2018. Attractive and compact book about the pleasures of being a reader? A headspace I want to be in.

How I heard of it: library

100 Best Books for Children - Anita Silvey. 2004. I'm big on looking at lists of books for children this year. These are the kind of books I know, love, and want to hear people talk about, now that I know books about these books exist.

How I heard of it: library

The Coming of Saska - Doreen Tovey Originally bought because it was cheap and featured animals, I needed a non-library book to bring on vacation, and this one is a durable ex-library copy in plastic wrap that featured a similar setting to where I was going, so: thematic.

Cats in the Belfry - Doreen Tovey. 1957. Wanted more of her books, and lo and behold the library had the first one.

How I heard of it: more by this author

Sorry Not Sorry - Naya Rivera. 2016. I'll read anything the Glee kids write, and this doubled as an easy number for the Mount TBR challenge.

How I heard of it: entertainment news websites

Living Large in Our Little House - Kerri Fivecoat-Campbell. 2016. I love tiny houses. And this one specifically mentioned living with dogs. And had color photographs.

How I heard of it: used bookstore

I'm Your Biggest Fan: Awkward Encounters and Assorted Misadventures in Celebrity Journalism. - Kate Coyne. 2016. Found cheap at a library sale -- loved the chapter headings and the fact that they were all about celebrities I knew.

Adrift - Tami Oldham Ashcraft w/ Suesea McGearheart. 1998/2018 edition. The movie was so awesome that I couldn't wait for more details about the real story in her own words.

I'll Be Gone In The Dark [NF] - Michelle McNamara. 2018. Been reading a lot of true crime write-ups on Reddit lately; decided it was time to pick up this well-received one.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Dear Evan Hansen: Waving Through A Window - Steven Levenson. 2017. Much like The Grimmerie for Wicked, once I fell in love with the DEH soundtrack and looked up the plot summary, I wanted to read the musical's detailed background/behind the scenes story + libretto before I watched it.

How I heard of it: Wikipedia

Empty Mansions: The Mysterious Life of Huguette Clark and the Spending of a Great American Fortune - Bill Dedman & Paul Clark Newell. 2013. Love me a story about a mansion (or three). Or the reclusive and insanely wealth heiress who owns them, that works too.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

JUVENILE NONFICTION Mascots: Military Mascots from Ancient Egypt to Modern Korea - Fairfax Downey. 1954. Animal book from an author I like; read now to see if I could get rid of it (yes).

How I heard of it: secondhand bookstore

Come on, Seabiscuit - Ralph Moody. 1963. Bought because vintage kids' horse book; read now to see if I could get rid of it (and to count it towards my Mount TBR challenge 'cause it was short).

How I heard of it: secondhand bookstore

[snow-pitch-grimm]

Better Than Any Fantasy

Summary: Simon finds some of Baz's sketches of him. His reaction isn't what Baz had expected.

SIMON

I didn't mean to see it.

I've seen him write and doodle in his notebook before, always with it turned away from me. I'm curious as to what he's doing, but even I have my boundaries. No matter how much I'm convinced that he's plotting, there are some lines I wouldn't cross.

Going through someone's private diary is too much, even for me.

So, I really didn't mean to see it.

I'd been looking for a paper of mine through all the clutter on my desk when my elbow had knocked over Baz's neat stack.

I curse as I quickly pick up his things. As I pick his leather-bound journal, a pape slips out.

It was a drawing, a very familiar drawing.

It was me.

In the picture, I was shirtless and lying renaissance style on the sheets, with the sheets covering my waist to my mid-thigh.

I looked...I looked good.

Why would Baz draw me like this? Was it a trick? No, it couldn't be. He's always hidden the contents from me.

Despite my better judgement, I opened the journal. Skipping over the writing I only looked at the drawings. Specifically drawings of me. There I was, writing, laughing, smiling and generally just doing normal things. There was even one of me stuffing myself with scones. Baz somehow made me look beautiful doing that too.

It didn't make sense. Could it be that he liked me? That didn't make sense either.

The last collage of pictures answered the question for me.

It was the only page that involved him too. In one corner, we were holding hands, at the bottom edge we were looking at each other with smiles on our faces. At the side of the page, he as leaning against a brick wall with him leaning over me. At the bottom, we were lying together in the grass.

Framed by all these doodles is a picture of us kissing. It was just our faces and my hand. Our lips are carefully melded together, and my hand is cupping his cheek, the one not turned toward the viewer.

The pictures have a soft, wavery quality to them like they are from someone's dream.

Did Baz dream of this? Is this his fantasy?

I was still trying to figure it out when the door clicked shut behind me.

Turning around, I came face to face with a shocked and angry looking Baz.

BAZ

He found it.

Of course, he found it! Snow has no concept of privacy!

I stomp forward and grab the things from him.

"You couldn't leave it well enough alone, could you?" I snarl

"Baz- no. I didn't-" he starts, waving his hands and looking at me beseechingly, "I don't-"

I don't want to hear the rest of it. I turn around and stalk out of the room.

I walk and walk until I'm at the edge of the woods. There I sit down on the rocks and let my head fall into my hands.

What's he going to do now? Would he tell people? Would he make fun of me? Or would he just ignore it? Which one's worse?

"Agh," I grunt and throw the journal on the ground.

This was a disaster.

I had fantasies of him finding out and telling me he felt the same way. I would bring him flowers, and he would thank me with a small kiss. Or we would finally snap and kiss each other, ending up together in bed. There was one where he confessed and asked me out on a date.

But they're only fantasies. I know he's never going to love me the way I love him.

And now he knows exactly how much I love him.

Tears gather in my eyes as the severity of the situation finally hits me. Simon knows now. He could tell anyone. He could decide to finally make my life miserable. He could-

"Baz," says a hesitant voice from near me.

Snow's standing there, a sheepish look on his face. His hands are shoved into his pockets and he's fidgeting on his feet.

"What do you want," I ask, sounding as defeated as I feel.

He's silent for a moment before speaking.

"I really didn't mean to see it," He says softly, "It fell off your desk when I was looking through my stuff. The loose one fell out and well...after seeing that how was I not supposed to be curious,"

I snort but keep quiet. He did have a point.

"And I didn't read or look at anything else," he continues, "I only looked at the pictures you drew of me...and you,"

"Right," I say

There's silence again and Snow comes to sit beside me.

"What are you doing," I ask him

"Sitting," he answers

"Snow-"

"You like me?"

He's looking at me with curious eyes. I look for any malice but his eyes clear.

"I think that much is obvious,"

"You know I've never thought of you that way," he says, "But it's kinda sweet. Do you really think I'm that pretty? Because honestly, I don't look as good as in the mirror as I do in those drawings,"

All I can do is stare at him.

"Snow I can't tell whether you're letting me down easy or-you know what I have no idea what you're doing,"

Snow smiles at me, that bright smile that makes my heart beat fast.

SIMON

It hadn't taken long to make my decision. Only five minutes to be exact.

Five minutes is all it took to look at my feelings and think if the conclusion I wanted to this whole event.

The fastest decision I have ever made, and it still feels right.

Poor Baz, though. He looks so confused.

BAZ

Snow is still smiling when he answers and nearly stops my heart.

"What I'm trying," he says, "Is to get you to ask me out on a date,"

My jaw drops open and I'm left speechless.

SIMON

I think I might have broken him

BAZ

"Hey Baz," says Simon, waving his hand in my face, "Are you still here? Do I need to take you to the infirmary?"

I snap myself out of it and stare at him incredulously.

"What do you mean, ask you out on a date? You're not gay. What about Agatha? And where would we even go on a date here?"

Simon smiles, "I mean, ask me out on a date. I'm not gay. I'm bi. Figured it out when I first saw you shirtless. Agatha and I broke it off, mutual decision and if you're smart enough to be head of the class, you're smart enough to figure something out for a date,"

I stare at him, once again rendered speechless

SIMON

Did I break him again?

"Did I break you again?"

"I'm still stuck on me shirtless being your bisexual awakening,"

"Trust me I was surprised too," I tell him

"You really want to go on a date with me," he asks, looking a little shy

It's unusual and adorable, solidifying my decision to give us a chance. After all, its not every day you find a boy that spends his time doodling you in his secret notebook, all because fo how much he likes you.

"Yeah," I tell him

His face brightens, and my heart skips a beat.

Without intending to, I slide my hand in his.

BAZ

I'm holding hands with Simon Snow.

Merlin Above, I'm holding hands with Simon Snow.

I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming again.

Nope, Simon Snow is definitely holding my hand right now.

"We should probably head back," he says

I nod, not trusting myself to speak.

We walk back together, still hand in hand, and surprisingly we don't run into anybody on the way back to our room.

When we get back, we spend some more time sitting on my bed and talking. Simon tells me about some of the mischiefs he and Penelope get into, and I tell him about my family and my the little terrors that are my siblings.

We finally decide to go to sleep when the clock strikes midnight.

As he gets off my bed, Simon bends down to kiss my cheek, making the skin tingle under his lips.

This is definitely better than any fantasy I have ever had.

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

HGPC 17 - 21 | Koi to Producer 2 - 6 | Appare 5 - 8 | Fugou Keiji 4 - 6

...only just realised I was missing some tags. They should be there now or soon.

HGPC 17

Why do I get the feeling the Sawaizumi family will be held hostage one day…? (Maybe I’m just being negative?)

The episode title mentions Chiyu by name, so I wonder why the translation didn’t…

Customer service! You can’t get away from it, even in COVID times…! (Impressive!)

Hmm…you can actually read part of the booking for the Smiths in the book if you know the kanji.

I thought the Smiths would speak in English, but they actually speak in fluent Japanese if the word “susume” was any indication.

Ah, Sukoyaka sweet buns! (from the other episode about the festival)

HGPC 18

Don’t burn down your house with scented candles, kids!

Also remember to use your knees when lifting heavy boxes! (<- says a charity store volunteer, who does this stuff on the regular)

These days the mascots usually have a human form. I wonder if this is implying that particular direction…? (I woke up today and was craving a certain oneshot I’d read during my scanlation days…if it is, it would fill that niche nicely.)

I wonder if the kids will recognise this Ashita no Joe parody…?

HGPC 19

“…since you were young?”

Oh! Element of Wind again!

Koi to Producer 2

This almost feels like Victor is assigning a school project to Protag-chan…it’s a bit sad, really.

It’s nice they let Protag-chan have a personality.

It’s fine if you can’t read the katakana, but Gavin’s name is Haku in Japanese, so it throws out the immersion somewhat…also, I know I shouldn’t be complaining – I’m the target audience here – but do these guys look kinda similar or what…? (partially kidding)

High school sweethearts, huh? “Childhood friends” is my favourite angle of a romantic relationship, but it gets so overused by harems it comes around to being boring…!

I-Is this Stand My Heroes…?! (LOL…?)

Can we not with 1st person cam…?

As cute and dorky as this stuff gets…how does Gavin never get found?! Does nobody ever look up in this city?!? (I thought Evolvers were meant to be a secret…?)

GPS tracker? That’s no better than large corporations using your location data…Isn’t that creepy…?

Hold on, when did she get his phone number? You would assume it was before this entire chase after the boy happened, but still…?

LOL, the English on the board.

This anime is gonna cause me some frustration, but it gives the good stuff in roughly equal measure. It seems to omit the fact you interact via phone with your bois for intimacy (in the game).

Koi to Producer 3

LOL, that’s so clearly Gavin…

By googling, you find out Uptown and Queens are in New York.

Ohmygosh! Did the creators know I love the trope where only people with superpowers can move in certain circumstances?!

Uh…his name is Kira in Japanese? Did someone read the katakana wrong?

Pictured: Depressed bishonen eating bad pudding. (…That joke sounds better in my head. I forgot what meme I was meant to be parodying there, but I had a meme in mind.)

Lemme guess…this man (I dunno if it’s one of the previous bishies with an identical face or a new one) is looking for MC-chan. *sigh* Update: Yep, just Victor again. To be honest, I don’t like anyone who calls harsh words “their sign of love” – love should be honest and upfront. That’s how it becomes heartmelting.

Koi to Producer 4

Okay, in order, it seems to be hexadecimals, Javascript (you can tell from the “const”), some kind of profiles which are apparently for human lab rats (which seem to have some kind of nonsense filler text), a DNA model and DNA bases (ACGT).

The text on the screen says something along the lines of this being an official broadcast of this man’s arrest and this man was a genetic researcher. Obviously, if I wanted to put more attention into what it meant, I would, but I won’t sweat the details this time (because it doesn’t seem to impact the plot).

The guy’s name is Minor because minor key (geddit?)…that’s my guess.

I started playing the game due to this anime, if you didn’t know, and I unlocked an expert in ch. 2. I thought he was Minor, but turns out his name is Spine (an older man).

The diary, true to form, contains details about either one case or several cases, two involving children. The bottom of the 1st page says “if it’s fake, I’ll laugh”.

Hey, I once told Crunchyroll I wanted an anime about hacking (so is this a dream come true? I reveal all in the next sentence!). Hackers don’t congregate like this…they’d be too conspicuous, even with the secret hideout!

The code in the top left appears to be…C? I think? (Note they declare “unsigned int”.)

Kiro sometimes reminds me of Masayoshi (SamFlam)…it puts a derpy smile on my face.

*blah blah blah I’m Key* - Wuh…? F*** you, Kiro!!! (There is such a thing as piling too much cool stuff on to a character, y’know – I’m guilty of it in my own writing.)

3684 isn’t a very safe password (says someone who once aspired to be in cybersecurity).

What bugs me is that Simon is a perfectly fine name…it’s just a bit boring. Kiro/Kira I get (a bit), but Lucien/Simon…? *shrugs*

Ohh! Based MAPPA! Thank you for making this adaption look great!

Koi to Producer 5

Oh, I got an SR in the game recently and it has a line like, “Only a fool stays up all night to do others’ work. Victor talks like that a lot…

The sign so obviously says “Renka”, meaning “love flower”. “Loveland” really is a step down from that…

Where’s Gavin’s guest badge…?

“Happiness Noodle Store”…?

“…the end of our first year…”

If this weren’t a Chinese work by origin (or Japanese work by translation), I’m sure Protag-chan would have gone after Gavin, despite being told the contrary.

Kanya = Minor. I’ll take a note of that.

One of the books behind Minor says “Gale Start”…hmm…

That GPS tracker is still unintentionally creepy, IMHO.

Koi to Producer 6

…oh. (dejected) Probably a beach episode or something.

What the actual heck was going on with Lucien…? It’s like he was having a tiny stroke there…

Lucien’s power is listed as “???” in the game. I thought he was an aura-reader when he said “show me your colour”, but that shield thing he did means he might just have various psychic powers…? *shrugs* We’ll find out eventually.

Running in heels is hard…

LOL, that’s so clearly recreating a CG from one of the cards.

This is the 2nd time this has gone pseudo-isekai. As much as I like to joke about it…I fully expect someone to be sent to another world at this point.

I couldn’t possibly see Victor on any kind of game show, come to think of it.

Appare 5

This guy’s middle name is “Rich”! That’s silly!

A boombox from the 19th century…makes sense, somehow.

I only just (?) realised Al has a tiny tie on his usual outfit.

Back to the beginning already…just start!

Appare 6

…I just realised Appare mouths “I got it!” in the OP.

Al Lion (sic…?)

Isn’t Sofia in that train…? Update: She might have been, she might not. Hard to tell when they don’t confirm.

This series seriously could’ve done with a dub…Even with weird hokey Hetalia accents, it would be good stuff.

These bunches of people at designated points…reminds me of the book I was reading while in Japan. The Long Walk by Stephen King (part of a compilation). It still gives me shivers down my spine when I remember it.

This “leave in the middle of the night” thing reminds me of the Amazing Race.

“Valley of Despair” is made-up, but Death Valley exists. It’s one of the hottest places on earth, hence the name.

LOL, Kosame scores himself one (1) prarie dog and two (2) Hototos.

I thought Appare was being inconsiderate at first…but he’s being considerate, in his own way.

Oh! I didn’t realise, but Saito Soma is Al.

Appare 7

“It’s not one plus one, but one times one!” – LOL.

Hybrid engine? In the 1900s? Hmm…

LOL, I think Al just did a hadouken.

This stuff’s like an animated Galaxy Brain meme! It’s amazing!

I managed to successfully predict – without watching ahead – Appare would catch himself with his traps.

Kosame with his hair down…is rare. Not exactly attractive because we have to care about the racers rather than lust after them (and the artstyle actually prevents me from doing so, because it’s deliberately quite cartoony), but it’s rare.

Appare is surprisingly childish…that’s what makes him more than a Sheldon Cooper, I think.

The spelling of the place is actually “Ely”, if Google-sensei is any indication. C’mon, subbers! You’re American (most likely)! Can’t you put in the legwork (or the Google-fu) to discover what place in Nevada this is?!

Subbers make characters say “shit” a lot in this show, hmm? (contemplative)

Now this evil guy here *points to screen*…that’s hair I like.

Appare 8

I just love this OP…don’t you?

I like how the steam/gas boat/car has Chinese numerals on its dial.

Kosame means “small rain”, so “heavy rain” is obviously to contrast that.

The Hototo joke never gets old.

I thought I just saw someone leave the saloon…

Nice hair + terrible face = bad equation.

I can almost imagine the wee-oo-wee-oo-ooooooo…wah-wah-wahhh…(You know the one sound snippet, right? The one theme from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly - or whatever movie it is – that maybe involves a tumbleweed rolling across the screen, and then a huge shootout? If you don’t know it, play a sample on this Wikipedia page!) playing in the background.

It’s convenient the prarie dog didn’t appear when Hototo (old) had his revenge spree.

I noticed there’s a bit of a mark under Kosame’s left eye…it suggests that he’s been crying (or maybe it shows tiredness from the race…?), but it’s not that noticeable.

So that’s the real Gil…and tose were his henchmen that threatened to hang everyone bar Kosame. Got it.

(notes to self) So, for charting a course with Appare Ranman!, it’s Los Angeles -> Death Valley -> Ely -> Denver -> ??? -> New York. Got it.

Fugou Keiji 4

“Daisuke-sama” isn’t “Lord Daisuke”, it would be “Sir Daisuke”, I think…but “lord” has a proper translation in Japanese.

The truck has a Shinagawa licence plate. Anime really does like Shinagawa, huh? (Based on ID: INVADED and this.)

I think it’ll be interesting to see Kambe handle this without HEUSC.

The board for Sanchome (which is equivalent to a suburb…or a county, I guess?) has posters saying stuff like “take your dog poop home” and “let’s protect the environment!” (technically, it says “let’s protect the region/area!”, but that doesn’t translate right. There’s even a flea market. Still, those posters don’t have any big hints…not that I know of so far.

I kind of forgot that dude was the gardener for Kambe’s house…er, mansion.

I noticed a poster in the kouban says haru (spring) on it. That’s probably the same one that Haru’s name is signified by, assuming that’s not in combo with another character or few.

Oh great…the sister is an overbearing one.

Ahh…he doesn’t like natto. So that’s the problem. Daisuke is childish (like Appare)…Note I don’t like natto either, but I wouldn’t run away from home (or similar) because I was fed natto.

I noticed Kambe uses shinseki (which doesn’t refer to close family). “Relative” is a correct translation of that word, I just wanted to check that word was the right one for the context.

There’s a green tea bottle by the sink…I don’t think I’d mistake that shade of green for anything else.

LOL, I didn’t think we’d actually get to see Kambe with his hair “down”, so to speak. It’s…an interesting look, for sure.

Oh my gosh! It cost him (Haru) $15!!! (LOL, cheapskate…says the cheapskate…*suddenly droops and stops laughing*) Update: Sorry about the sudden downer there. I was having what the kids these days call a “woke moment”…at least, I think that’s how they use that term.

…I’d watch that crime drama. It’s funny.

Just realised Kato has an older model of phone than Kambe does.

This episode was kinda like a Tokyo Sonata kind of thing, huh? The sensational in the middle of the not-so-sensational…”sensational” for this show, anyway.

Those kids look like the ones from Erased.

*lightbulb goes off in brain* What if the dog went to Kambe’s…?

Can Suzue actually hear HEUSC while Kambe is using it…? $2.46 though…that is cheap, in comparison to the ham.

This was the cheapest episode so far (about $550)…probably because it was an insight into Kato’s life, more than Kambe’s.

Fugou Keiji 5

The flag seems to be based on Cameroon’s (which is in Africa, not America) and the “Arita Kinen” seems to refer to Arima Kinen, meaning this episode is set around Christmas-ish. Credit goes to Kambe Zaibatsu on this show.

I-It’s a Humvee!

Polyadoll (sic)…?

The Poliador guy speaks perfect Japanese…(?)

The star! It’s a key thingy!

I thought Kamei was the 1st Division dude with the reddish hair. Turns out it was the blonde…? Update: Redhead is Hoshino.

Ummmmmm…he was reading porn…? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh…okayyyyyyyyyyyyy…

…oh, the costs for Kambe’s tuxedo are on there. So’s the cost for repairing the bike Suzue rode.

Fugou Keiji 6

I never knew there were so many money proverbs to be used as episode titles…

What is Kambe doing with his hands…? He’s not even using the computer.

Imura seems to use a Windows 10 with Cortana on the taskbar.

HGPC 20

What’s with all the Naruto running this episode…?

HGPC 21

(no notes, sorry!)

[dressed-to-keehl]

10 favorite characters tag

@stvlti​ tagged me, and i definitely haven’t done this for like 4 or 5 years, so there are definitely some changes!!! Except one thing hasn’t changed -- I almost exclusively love antiheroes, and if they’re absolute shithead nightmare disasters, all the better. Fiction (reading & writing) is how I process literally all of my emotions, so I always gravitate towards characters who deal with things that I don’t love talking about. While there are shitloads of characters that I enjoy, I’m out here exclusively stanning the ones that give me painful emotional catharsis. (I am actually a soft vulnerable SAP, but THAT’S not what I need to process.)

In no particular order:

KLAUS HARGREEVES (The Umbrella Academy)

Klaus breaks my fucking heart and puts it back together again. He’s so chaotic and yet so vulnerable at the same time; seeing him overcome his demons adds years to my fucking life.

ELIOT WAUGH (The Magicians)

Eliot’s character arc is so beautiful, and he honestly just fills my heart with joy. I love how far he comes over the course of the series and how he’s able to become absolutely himself, live up to his fullest potential. His past DOES NOT MATTER. He is a KING. 

MELLO (Death Note)

I first encountered Mello at age 12, and he’ll always represent the kind of intense, destructive hunger I recognised in myself from a really young age but wasn’t able to put words to. He’s always been a symbol for me to project myself onto, but no matter how his story ends, his need to be the best regardless of the odds is always a motivator. His existence has always been a big FUCK YOU to the idea of futility to me, a reminder that you will always know whether or not you gave something your all even if nobody else does.

RONAN LYNCH (The Raven Boys - Maggie Stiefvater)

Ronan Lynch is 100% one of the reasons why I was able to continue writing after an especially dark period, which is 100% the reason I am currently alive.

JOSEPH KAVINSKY (The Dream Thieves - Maggie Stiefvater)

There are so few naked depictions of certain types of issues in YA. I honestly prefer YA because it’s so emotionally visceral, dramatic, and intense when it’s at its best. I love gorgeous prose, but so often in works that people deem more intellectual, the prose makes the emotions harder to access. It’s genuinely rare I find a combo of sharp literary insight and also raw emotions, and TDT is that exactly. Not surprising: many characters on this list are Disasters, and Kavinsky is the Disasteriest of them all. A close friend once told me, “you’re not a Kavinsky; you’re a Ronan” and it made me want to not die.

RICHARD CAMPBELL GANSEY III (The Raven Boys - Maggie Stiefvater)

Was struggling with CRIPPLING panic disorder and substance abuse relapse when I first started reading TRC, so Gansey’s struggle with mortality and ultimate heroic triumph over his fears was extremely necessary for me. I literally could not be sober for more than a few hours the summer leading up to when i read TRC because the second I became aware of my own body I knew with absolute certainty I was going to die. While reading, I genuinely felt that this series was holding my life in its hands. I read every single word of Gansey’s like it contained some answer about my future.

COLE ST. CLAIR (The Wolves of Mercy Falls - Maggie Stiefvater)

Cole St. Clair is literally the most relatable character I have ever read in my life and he is a heroin-addicted LA werewolf rockstar so what does that say about me??? Probably that I Too fear I will never escape my past self. SO many thoughts in this book are a word choice away from things that I myself have tried to articulate in therapy and have written down in countless diaries.

ZUKO (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Zuko has the best character arc of all time, and A:TLA taught me more about storytelling than my entire undergraduate degree. He’s SO nuanced, raw, and vulnerable. What could I ever say about Zuko that hasn’t been already said?

RUBY (Supernatural)

Ah, another bad bitch who’s willing to do whatever it takes to be the best. She genuinely doesn’t care if those around her thinks she’s a traitor; she adheres to her goals despite any internal or external cost.

SIMON SNOW (Carry On - Rainbow Rowell)

How unlike me, to gravitate towards a hero TWICE on this list. (Just kidding, All these characters are heroes. Except probably Kavinsky.) Simon is like, an INSANELY good depiction of depression in Book II and his character arc really explores the idea of living up to yourself and holding onto yourself even if it feels like there’s not very much of you left.

MY OWN CHARACTERS (!!!)

(Who are everything I ever needed.)

I’m tagging @oceanofstarfish​, @flowerofthebarricade​, @puddingjeoddi​, @juuzouthough​, @thosekindofpeople​, @sowhatsurfavouritecolourpunk​, @spin-not-twirl​, @thewittywriter​ and anyone else who’s interested in participating!!! i wanna see all ur faves so go ahead n say i tagged you

[hotel-japanifornia]

If Phoenix or Maya died instead of Mia, that would be a very sad AU to the entire series as a whole. Who knows what that would have done to her.

Well, I did write an AU where Maya got murdered by Redd White. I’m not going to act like my fic is the definitive of how Turnabout Sisters would have gone if Maya was the victim but I do think that it isn’t out of the realm of possibility that things would have gone that way. Mia for sure would have figured out that Redd White was the murderer and would have gone after him, and do anything in her power to take him down. 

As for what happens to Mia after The Reversal of Sisters, well, here’s how the rest of the franchise would have gone at least in my view:

Mia finds out that Will Powers, the actor of the Steel Samurai was arrested for murder. Recognizing that name as the show that Maya loved so much, she takes the case because she knows that’s what Maya would want her to do.

Phoenix insists on tackling Turnabout Goodbyes on his own as he desperately wants to help his friend out. He loses because Maya isn’t around to call Lotta out on the validity of her testimony, and Edgeworth is found “Guilty” of murder. As a side note, Von Karma disappears and is never heard from again. Afterwards, Phoenix slips into a deep depression and Mia consoles him, the two comforting each other due to them both losing someone they care about deeply.

Mia ends up defending Lana at the request of Ema Skye. Lana is much more open to the idea of having Mia as her lawyer but still acts similarly cold and distant towards her as she did Phoenix. Mia, with Ema’s help, manages to defend Lana successfully, though she still goes to jail. At the end, Lana and Mia promise to stay in touch during the former’s prison sentence through writing letters.

The Kurain case never happens as there’s no Maya for Morgan to plot to get rid of. Instead, Dr. Grey goes nuts and tries to murder Mimi Miney who is disguised as Ini. He is arrested for attempted murder. The reason I think Grey would go after “Ini” is because he would want to take vengeance upon the sister of the woman who had in a sense, ruined his business. I also don’t think Mimi would have gone after Grey had he not suggested the channeling honestly.

The Lost Turnabout and Turnabout Big Top would have been taken by Mia. She offers both cases to Phoenix, but he’s still depressed after losing Edgeworth. She does manage to convince him to stand in with her during trial.

Mia would have no reason to take Farewell, My Turnabout. In actuality, I think that Matt Engarde’s case would have been taken by a public defender as everyone else is convinced of his guilt. The public defender loses the case and Engarde is found “Guilty. And as an added bonus, the public defender’s body is found the next day but nobody knows if their death was a murder or a suicide. You could argue that maybe Mia would have taken Matt’s case, but I’m not so sure. Engarde looked rather “Guilty” from the onset and if it wasn’t for DeKiller, I’m not so sure Phoenix would have taken it either…without coercion from Maya.

Diego wakes up in August 2018. Mia, scared of losing him again, proposes to him very soon after he wakes up. The two of them marry and Phoenix is the man of honor.

Soon afterwards, Diego joins the Fey & Co. Law Offices as a third lawyer. 

Phoenix, inspired by Diego’s return to law, starts taking cases again, but starts off slow with simple hit-and-run and assault cases. He doesn’t take up the case revolving around the murder at KB security (Diego does), but does take up the murder at Tres Bien which goes much differently than it does in canon. This is because he isn’t as popular in this universe so Furio Tigre can’t impersonate him to get Maggey convicted of murder.

Diego is Phoenix’s aide during the Gramarye trial and tells him to watch out for that forged diary page. With his help, Phoenix is able to avoid being disbarred. However, Zak still disappears after the conclusion of the trial (because why wouldn’t he honestly?) and Phoenix still adopts lil’ Trucy.

As a side note, because AAI and AAI2 require the presence of Edgeworth, the smuggling ring and the Mastermind are never caught for their crimes. Actually come to think of it, the Mastermind actually WOULD be put in jail, but for a murder they never actually committed. 

Turnabout Visitors ends up going differently since it requires Edgeworth to have the room he has in canon. If Jacques was able to get Edgeworth’s room, he might not end up needing to murder Buddy after all. On the other hand, Rhoda would be accused of murdering Akbey, Lauren would be accused of murdering her father, and Kay would be accused of murdering Coachen. I don’t know who would have been accused of murdering Ka-Shi-Nou though.

The fake president is never discovered and SS-5 is never resolved. Blaise, Patricia, and Di-Jun-Huang never face retribution for their crimes.

The UR-1 trial goes a bit differently than it does in canon. Since a Fey & Co. defense attorney may have taken young Simon’s case, it’s possible that they’re able to prove his innocence and demonstrate the existence of a “phantom” killer. He would have still been arrested on tampering with the crime scene but on a lighter sentence due to trying to protect a young Athena. Make no mistake though, Simon totally adopts Athena once he gets out of the slammer. Whether or not she becomes a defense attorney still is up in the air but I think it’s likely. She might get inspired by watching Simon in court and want to face off against him in court.

Because the UR-1 trial goes differently than it does in canon and Phoenix is never disbarred, the dark age of the law never truly starts.

Apollo ends up working for the Fey & Co. Law Offices instead of Kristoph. I’m not sure how exactly AJ would have gone down. I think Kristoph would still have murdered Shadi and Turnabout Corner and Turnabout Serenade may gone down like in canon. Whether or not Kristoph is caught for murdering Shadi…is a different story.

Ema also doesn’t grow up to be a grumpy bear detective but probably is still bitter about not getting her dream job.

For DD, I can see 5-2, 5-3, and 5-DLC going the same just with Simon acting in a different manner since he was never convicted of Metis’ murder and as such, doesn’t have the lingering threat of death hanging over his head. I don’t think that Bobby and Simon knew each other before the latter got convicted so it’s probably a different detective working those cases. Unless the Phantom kills that guy and somehow manages to manipulate Simon into thinking the other detective just simply quit…

The Khu’rain cases in SOJ likely don’t happen because none of the Fey & Co. defense attorneys have any real reason to travel there. 6-2, 6-4, and 6-DLC might still happen but with different lawyers working those cases. 

As for the sibling reveal, well, like in canon, it still hasn’t happened yet. That’s mainly because it’s really not up to any of the lawyers to decide when Lamiroir will let Trucy and Apollo know of their heritage, Although, it might be a bit sooner since Apollo doesn’t go to Khu’rain in this version.

Phoenix never finds out the truth about Dahlia. As a result, he probably stays single for the rest of his life. He almost definitely would have trust issues if he ever got into a relationship again.

Lastly, Morgan receives a call from Mia about Maya’s murder. She decides to use Maya’s death to her advantage and tells Pearl a couple hours later that Mystic Maya had contacted her personally and told her that she never wanted to see her or Pearl ever again. Pearl is inconsolable at first and refuses to believe that her beloved cousin would ever do or say such a thing. However, over time, as Pearl grows older and Maya never returns, she begins to take Morgan’s word for it. Meanwhile, Morgan does her part to ensure that Pearl never finds out the truth and murders anyone who threatens to try. 

Pearl becomes Master as a result in 2021, she doesn’t receive the Master’s Talisman from Misty and is instead given a new one upon courtesy of her mother (I don’t think we ever learn if new Master’s Talismans are made when a person becomes Master. I’m pretty sure they aren’t passed down though). By the time she’s 18, she’s blocked the memory of her cousins out of hatred towards them for leaving the family. Misty never goes out of hiding out of fear that her sister might kill her if she tries to reach out to Pearl. She and Larry are still master and student though.

Pearl does go for training in Khu’rain but it’s unknown if she stays with the Inmees like Maya does in canon.

This at least, is an outline of how it could have gone. Things almost certainly would have been very different if Phoenix had been murdered. He would never have been the lawyer he is today, etc. Maya and Mia probably would be working together to try to put Redd away, so that’s a fun thought for an AU.

[between-the-pages-ofa-book]

There’s been a lot of talk about series finales lately with so many shows having already ended, and quite a few shows ending soon, so of course there have been several memorable finales on my mind lately, so I decided to make a post about my thoughts on the most memorable ones.

I’m planning on tagging everything with proper anti tags, character names, and show names. If there’s something that I forget to tag, let me know and I’ll tag it correctly.

It gets lengthy so I’m putting it under a read more.

1. Game of Thrones

This will have probably the most polarizing of opinions, but I actually felt satisfied overall by what happened in this final season and series finale. I felt that there were things that could have been written better and things that I would have done differently, but overall, I enjoyed what happened.

Not everything that happened in this final season is what I would have chosen for the characters’ ends, and there are a few endings that I’m not satisfied with. Jaime Lannister being one of those. I felt that his storyline was going in a much different direction than dying with Cersei, and I’m still of the opinion that his ending should have been different. I’m not upset that he died because i expected him to, but I did expect a different death.

Sansa’s ending is my favorite ending and what I expected for her all along. Her becoming Queen in the North and outliving all of her abusers was so satisfying. Watching her being crowned queen brought a tear to my eye. Her story and character development from start to finish is one of my favorite character arcs to watch.

2. Teen Wolf

I’m not sure how much of an popular or unpopular opinion that this is, but I genuinely think that Teen Wolf’s series finale and the 2nd half of the final season is one of the most well written finales that I’ve seen in a long time.

The first half of the season was really leaving me with low expectations, and I didn’t like it at all, with there being so much focus on Stiles, a character who wasn’t even present for more than 2 episodes of the season. It’s not that I dislike Stiles; it’s that I wish that there was more focus on Scott.

The second half of the season really did focus on most of the characters in the way that I wanted it to. I really liked the emphasis put on Scott’s strength and leadership status. One of the most memorable scenes to me is Scott fighting the monster alone and literally gouging out his eyes so that he is able to defeat the monster.

My favorite moment of the finale was Derek’s return and his hug with Scott. It was such a sweet moment that really defined what Derek and Scott meant to one another.

I even liked the Scott and Malia ship. Although I hated how they wrote Kira out of the show and do still prefer Scott and Kira as a ship, Scott and Malia was well-written, and I did enjoy that they were endgame.

3. The Originals

I’m actually on a rewatch of this show now, so it’s been on my mind a lot. Overall, I didn’t hate this finale season. It wasn’t my favorite. This show is one of my favorite shows of all time. I enjoyed Klaus’s arc, and his desperation to save Hayley and to help his daughter. I liked watching Elijah become himself again after he was freed from the compulsion. I was happy that Davina and Kol were married and became endgame, that Rebekah and Marcel were going to get their happy ending.

I didn’t like that both Klaus and Elijah had to die. I didn’t like Hayley had to die. It’s not even the deaths of all three characters that bothered me about the final season; it’s the fact that I didn’t see that all three of them needed to happen. I can understand actors not wanting to be a part of the spinoff, but I feel that there were better ways to write these characters out than the endings that they were given. I do think that killing off both Klaus and Hayley was written so that Hope would have the challenge of being an orphan and having most of her family die be something that she has to overcome in Legacies. Afterall, I can’t think of a single main teenage character in The Vampire Diaries or The Originals that has either of their parents in their lives: Elena’s parents had died before the beginning of the show, Caroline’s parents were killed, Davina’s parents were killed before the beginning of the show, etc.

The sacrifices that were made by both Klaus and Hayley were absolutely beautiful. The scene that Hope meets Hayley in the afterlife made me cry and I wish that we would have gotten a scene of Jackson interacting with Hope.

I’m going to be a bit biased here and show that I don’t like the inclusion of Caroline in the final season. I’ve never liked Klaroline as a ship and didn’t particularly enjoy Caroline’s character in the final season of The Vampire Diaries. I felt that there were much better people for Klaus to have spent his final moments with and didn’t like that there was so much emphasis placed on Caroline during the episode that Hayley, the leading female of the show, dies.

Overall, I liked this show and its ending but have never felt truly satisfied by its ending. However, I do recognize that The Originals finale was meant to be the set up for Legacies and that it’s going to need to be critiqued on a different standard than a show that was meant to be a definitive ending for all of the characters.

4. Once Upon a Time

Once Upon a Time is one of my all-time favorite shows, even though there are several things throughout the show that I strong dislike. I’ll be honest, I’m going to be very petty about the actual final episode of the show because I really didn’t like it, despite enjoying the final season overall.

This is a show that I like to consider as having two series finales. The season 6 finale being the overall show’s finale. This was a perfect ending for the characters, in my opinion. Emma and Killian starting their life together. Regina and Emma co-parenting Henry. Snow White and Charming moving to their farmhouse. Even Belle and Rumple getting their happy ending. I do view season 7 as a spinoff rather than a continuation of the first six seasons; however, I’m going to talk about season 7 here.

I really enjoyed this season. I loved so many of the characters, and Henry’s arc was very well-written. Wish!Hook/Detective Rogers was my favorite part of the season, along with his relationship with Alice.

The series finale was a 2-part finale, and the first half was very strong. Seeing Charming and Snow again really made me happy. I had high hopes for the 2nd part of the finale that just weren’t met. This is where I get petty and like to pretend that part 2 doesn’t actually exist and was somehow erased because I disagree with a lot about it. This is where I start talking about what I wish would have happened as if it actually did.

I do dislike Regina, so of course this is biased against her. It’s also been a while since I watched the finale so some details may be muddled with part 1 details, so forgive me for that.

I really disliked that Regina is the one who inevitably turned Wish Henry to their side; she’s the one who he watched murder his grandparents and has blamed for his mother’s disappearance and destroying his life. I really think that it should have been Emma who was able to turn Henry to their side, and if not Emma, then adult Henry himself, as Henry knows what it’s like to feel hopeless and as if he has no family left.

I wished that baby Robin Hood would have been able to have the dream where she talks to Robin, her father, rather than Regina getting this moment. Robin, who has continued her father’s legacy and was never able to know her father, should have been given the moment of closure with her father that she never had before.

I also very much disliked the joining of all the realms. I would have been okay with it if it was just Storybrooke and the two Enchanted Forests or if there were doorways created so that travel between realms was made easier like the mermaids. I didn’t like joining all the realms because there were a lot of characters who I know wouldn’t have wanted this to happen. It took away titles of Queen and King from several characters: Elsa and Jasmine to be exact. It also invalidated Tiana’s arc from mere episodes before. Tiana had worked to feel as if she was worthy of Queen, and all the hardwork was nullified by crowing Regina the “Good Queen.” I didn’t only dislike this choice because of Regina but because of how many storylines were invalidated because of that choice.

Also, if we were going to crown someone “The Good Queen,” it’s not Regina. First of all, I really don’t like that title. Second of all, it should have been Snow White that was crowned Queen in the end, as she is the rightful queen of the Enchanted Forest.

5. Shadowhunters

Now, for the final noteable finale that I want to talk about, let’s talk about Shadowhunters. This list wasn’t made to be nice about these shows, and this is one that I always look back at and feel mad. Shadowhunters is a show that I have actually defended as a book to screen adaptation, but I can’t defend this final season or this finale.

Now, I do want to talk about what I enjoyed of this final season. I enjoyed Simon and Izzy’s relationship finally happening, even though it was rushed due to limited time because of the cancellation. Clary asking Isabelle to be her parabatai, which is something that I even wanted in the books, made me really happy. Clary continuing to be selfless and put everyone first was such a beautiful arc, even if I dislike how it ended for her.

And on to the things that I disliked--

Am I the only one who hated that they made Luke into a Shadowhunter again? Of course, being a werewolf doesn’t seem as if it was as important in the show as it was in the books, but it didn’t even feel as if Luke had any sort of feelings about being forced to be a shadowhunter against his consent.

I felt like this whole season was meant to be fanservice for Malec. It took a ship that I actually liked in the books, despite the issues that the relationship had, and liked in the beginning of the show and turned it into something that I strongly disliked. I felt like Alec didn’t understand a lot of what Magnus was feeling and didn’t understand what he needed. I’ve always felt like Alec was prioritized in this relationship to be honest. The wedding felt like it came too quickly and felt inorganic to me. Spoilers for the books: The wedding in the books is one of my favorite weddings in any type of media, and yes, I do compare the book wedding to the show wedding all the time, even if that is unfair of me. I still find it hard to believe that Alec would stay in New York when a crisis with Johnathan was happening at the LA Institute, where his father and younger brother were at the time. I can’t believe that the wedding was prioritized over every single thing that happened in that finale, and I will always dislike the wedding being prioritized so heavily.

The thing that I really hate about this finale is Clary’s ending. She spent the entire season battling between keeping her brother alive and doing what was right for the rest of the world. She ended up killing her own brother for the good of the world. Clary never put herself first once throughout this season, and there were still a lot of fans that heavily criticized her for everything that she did. In the end, her mother appearing to her to warn her not to use her powers that The Angels gave her solidified how much I hated this arc for her. She knew what using her powers to kill Johnathan would do and she did it anyway. She was punished for doing the right thing. Even worse, she suffered in silence while it was happening. She knew that she was losing her memories and her connection to the Shadow world but she didn’t want to ruin the wedding for her friends and walked out of the Institute without a word to anyone, to the love of her life, to her best friend, to her future Parabatai, to her father figure. She left Jace feeling like she left him, after he’s felt this way his entire life.

Worst of all, in the end, it seemed like no one other than Jace actually cared what she sacrificed. Her own father, Luke, didn’t seem to care and was happy with Maryse. Isabelle, who Clary chose to be her Parabatia, and Simon, her lifetime best friend, seemed to be more than happy. Magnus and Alec were perfectly content with everything. I can’t remember if any of these characters ever mentioned her name in the scenes at the end of finale. It was a great disservice to the relationship that these characters had with Clary.

Overall, I felt that Clary’s characterization and arc were consistent and on-point, but the ending left me dissatisfied and bitter toward this show as a whole. I’m not even sure that this is a show that I’m even willing to rewatch at some point.

[owenepierce]

Diary Entry #1

April 17th, 2020

Dear Diary,

Hey there, diary. It’s Owen. We haven’t met and that’s totally my bad. Mom gave me you to provide me with an outlet to get out my thoughts and feelings and stuff and I’ve just been super busy and haven’t had the time. In retrospect, it was kinda silly of her to give me a journal...I’m usually just telling every one my thoughts and feelings anyway so why do I need to write ‘em down in an admittedly super cute pink book...? ...Well, then again - I’m like a real-live submissive now, so there’s certain things I just can’t say out loud. I need to be good so that I can get myself a claim and get on with my life, y’know? So...yeah, I’ve gotta be a little filtered now, and I guess that’s why I’ve got you!

So, first off - don’t expect me to write in you every day. I may be in a new place but I make friends real quick, so I’m already a total socialite and have lots of things to do and people to see. BUT - I do vow to write in you every Friday evening, just to keep you updated on each week’s events. So, without further adieu - lets get into it, shall we?

I got here on April 4th and got a pretty warm welcome from everyone! I mean, duh, who could honestly have a bad thing to say about little ‘ole me? ...Don’t answer that. Anyway, I got here and the first person I met was another submissive boy named Franco. He was sweet enough to show me the grounds and let me give him a blow-job within like thirty minutes. I know - that’s fast, even for me. Still, though - it gave me a good preview of just how widely accepted sexual stuff is, here. I know, I know - it’s basis of the whole darn school, but I expected into be more-so secluded to the classrooms and exams and stuff like that. Well, newsflash - people are fucking everywhere and all hours, which is totally fine - especially since there are so many hot boys here. I literally feel like I died and went to heaven.

The down-side is that most them are not even available. Granted, that doesn’t seem to stop anyone from fooling around here, but it’s still a bit of a bummer that no one has really struck me as boyfriend material yet... I mean, I know I’ve gotta rewire my thinking a little bit to start searching for a Dominant as opposed to a romantic, boyfriend - but I can’t help it. I’ve always wanted a romantic claim if I wound up with the submissive mark, and I’m not gonna give up on that dream!

Oh, there’s also my roommate to tell you about. His name’s Simon Rose and he’s...much different than me. We didn’t get off on the best foot, but I think things are beginning to look up for us. We’re coexisting much better than I initially assumed we would, so I’m gonna take that as a total win.

Alright enough of that, let me give you the dish on the hotties. 

First, Hunter Clarington. Total dreamboat. It takes a lot to make me nervous, but I get all kinds of flustered around him. He’s this gorgeous, military, stoic dude and he’s all serious and broody and somehow it’s just as cute as it is like...crazy, ridiculous sexy. We even did a scene together earlier this week! So, I don’t know - stay tuned on that one.

Speaking of scenes, I also did one with Eric Anderson and it was...amazing. He’s incredible. He’s so knowledgeable and caring and also hot. Like - crazy hot. Especially when he gets all dommy, unf. Unfortunately though, he already has a claim... I know Dominants can have two claims, but I know me - I’d get real possessive and jealous over my Dominant. In most cases, that would be cute, but when you actually have to cooperate with another party, it definitely isn’t.

I know this is serious stuff to be thinking about with people I’ve only just met - but I’m here to find a Dominant. I think it’s appropriate, at least to myself, to be considering all of this - and that’s why I’ve got you here!

Don’t worry - I’ve done more than just flirt with boys! I’ve also joined the cheerleading squad; made a few good girl friends like Alexis St. James and Morgan Rhodes - yeah, the Morgan Rhodes, crazy right? So things are going well on that front. I also spoke to the scary Headmistress Sue and she told me I should lose some weight...which, y’know, was awesome to hear - but it’s okay. It’s not a personality I’m not used to thanks to cheer, so I can handle it pretty well - and I think I did. I got through a whole conversation with her, unscathed - which is a feat that I’ve gathered is rather difficult to accomplish.

Anyway, that’s about all I’ve got for you now, diary. I’ll see ya next week, same time - same place...I mean, duh - you’re an inanimate object, you’re not going anywhere.

Owen Elle Pierce ❤

[richincolor]

Everyone, please welcome Debbie Rigaud to Rich in Color! Debbie’s book, TRULY MADLY ROYALLY came out yesterday, and we’re thrilled to have her here to talk about her book. Are you ready for a royal rom-com with a black heroine? I know I am!

Fiercely independent and smart, Zora Emerson wants to change the world. She’s excited to be attending a prestigious summer program, even if she feels out of place among her privileged, mostly white classmates. So she’s definitely not expecting to feel a connection to Owen, who’s an actual prince of an island off the coast of England. But Owen is funny, charming…and undeniably cute. Zora can’t ignore the chemistry between them. When Owen invites Zora to be his date at his big brother’s big royal wedding, Zora is suddenly thrust into the spotlight, along with her family and friends. Everyone is talking about her, in real life and online, and while Owen is used to the scrutiny, Zora’s not sure it’s something she can live with. Can she maintain her sense of self while moving between two very different worlds? And can her feelings for Owen survive and thrive in the midst of the crazy? Find out in this charming romantic comedy that’s like The Princess Diaries for a new generation.

I was so excited when I realized that TRULY MADLY ROYALLY was going to be a royal rom-com starring a black teenage girl. Please introduce us to Zora, our heroine!

Yay! I’m so happy to hear that. Zora is definitely someone to get excited about. She loves her family and she can’t go a day without talking to her best friend. What jumps out most of all is she’s a goal-getter who dreams big. Zora is the kind of girl who comes up with a plan and then wills herself to see them through. She started an afterschool program for younger kids in her neighborhood, because she identified a need that wasn’t being met. She attends a summer program at a prestigious university just so she can learn more about securing grants for this program. While there, she meets and falls for an actual prince of a European country. The question then becomes, how distracted from her game plan will she allow herself to become. And how much of the media circus surrounding the prince is she willing to tolerate.

What are Zora’s family and community like? Who are the other important people in her life?

Zora’s family is like her neighborhood—busy, loud, with rarely a dull moment. There are tensions in her family that bubble up and we get to see how Zora addresses it and maybe move past it. At times, though, it seems like Zora is more willing to accept flaws in her neighborhood than flaws in her family. It’s a tricky thing—especially when you consider the dynamic between she and her dad. But I think her world paints a realistic picture of families we know and love. Other important people in Zora’s life are, of course, the kids from her Walk Me Home program. She devotes so much of her time and energy developing relationships with them. It’s a sweet match-up that benefits her just as much as it benefits them. Her interactions with these kids were so fun to write!

Tell us more about Owen, the prince that Zora meets at the summer program.

Owen is a prince on the loose in New Jersey. He is living abroad, an ocean away from his kingdom, and he tries to carve out some breathing room for himself—away from his watchful guards. There are past hurts that at times feel very present for him, so you get the sense that he is still in the throes of making sense of it all. Zora has caught his eye and captured his heart, and he’s willing to bypass every last protocol to see her again. Swoon!

What are some of your favorite rom-com tropes? Least favorite?

I love a good boy-next-door trope, and will stop what I’m doing to sink into a best-friends-to-lovers story. Other ones I’ve been known to enjoy: love-at-first sight, enemies-to-lovers and fake date tropes. As for ones I least enjoy, I’ll say falling for a family member or close friend’s ex. Is that even one of the standard tropes? In case it’s not, I’ll also say boss/employee romances.

You have a middle-grade book coming out later this year that is co-written with Alyssa Milano. What can you tell us about it?

Thanks for asking about it. I’m super excited about the HOPE series! It’s an illustrated chapter book that releases October 1st. The first book introduces readers to eleven-year-old Hope just as she enters and learns to navigate the sixth grade. This is not an easy transition for her. Hope’s got bullies to tame, a science competition to win, new friends to make and old relationships to repair. Most of all, she has to find her own voice. It’s a lot of fun, and there are a lot of feels. It’s amazing to be working with skilled storyteller Alyssa Milano and illustrator Eric Keyes of “The Simpsons” fame. I can’t wait for readers to meet Hope!

Thank you for stopping by to answer our questions, Debbie!

Debbie Rigaud was born in Manhattan to a Haitian immigrant family. She began her writing career covering news and entertainment for magazines, including Seventeen, Twist and CosmoGIRL!. Her first work of Young Adult fiction, the novella “Double Act,” was featured in HALLWAY DIARIES/Kimani Tru. Soon thereafter, romantic comedy PERFECT SHOT/Simon Pulse became her first standalone book. Debbie’s non-fiction essays have been published in anthologies IT’S ALL LOVE/Broadway Books and DEAR BULLY/HarperTeen. Her humorous short story “Voila!” is included in the critically-acclaimed book OPEN MIC/Candlewick Press. Look out for her upcoming rom-com TRULY MADLY ROYALLY (Scholastic/Point) releasing July 30th! And HOPE: PROJECT MIDDLE SCHOOL (Scholastic), her Middle Grade debut co-written with activist Alyssa Milano, releases October 1, 2019.

[snkpolls]

SnK S3E22 Poll Results (Anime Only Viewer Version)

The poll closed with 190 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated! And we apologize for the delay on getting the results posted! 

Please note this is the anime only viewer version of the poll. Manga readers, please click here for the results of the manga reader poll!

RATE THE EPISODE 168 Responses

The finale episode of the season received mid to high scores from viewers, 66.7% of participants rating it at a 5. A job well done by the anime staff!

Awesome, 10/10 and a magnificent ending to the season

Eep

Not very satisfying. I would have preferred a cliffhanger

I just wish it was longer because I'm a fiend 😂 thanks for doing this

This episode gave me more goosebumps than any other AoT episode!

Amazing Episode

It was extremely depressing, but excellent.

very good

LOVED IT

It was heartbreaking, yet satisfying

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS THE MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT? 180 Responses

The most anticipated destination in the series played some unforgettable moments. 35.6% of participants thought Eren’s dismal speech while looking across the sea was among the most memorable moment. 16.7% preferred seeing the Survey Corps’ first sight of the ocean, and 13.3% most enjoyed seeing Armin and Mikasa smiling together on the shore.

DID PIXIS AND HISTORIA MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION BY CHOOSING TO REVEAL THE TRUTH TO THE PUBLIC? 178 Responses

Pixis and Historia decided to share the truth of the world to the public. A majority 92.1% of participants thought that the decision to be honest was the right call, while 5.1% aren’t quite sure.

The decision to reveal the truth was correct, but it should have been done gradually. Too quick creates tension and disbelief, not at all creates more distrust as something is obviously being hidden

WHO DO YOU THINK WROTE THE “INTENTS FOR THE FUTURE” EXCERPT IN THE EYE CATCH? 173 Responses

The mid-episode info card showed an anonymous entry about “Intents for the Future” after learning about the truth beyond the walls. 37% believe Armin is the author, whereas 16.8% think it is Hange and 15% believe it is Historia’s writing.

Aren't "Intent For the Future" written by Grisha in his diaries ?

WHAT WOULD YOU DO FIRST IF YOU’VE NEVER SEEN OR KNEW ABOUT THE OCEAN BEFORE? 176 Responses

If there was no knowledge of the ocean up until now, upon encountering the large body of water, 50% of participants say they would first slowly dip their feet in. 20.5% would observe from afar, and a tie of 9.1% would splash their friends or contemplate the meaning of life.

WHOSE INITIAL REACTION TO THE SEA WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 180 Responses

There were varying reactions from the Survey Corps’ first encounter with the ocean. 26.7% were enamored by Armin’s reaction to his dream come true, while 25% of participants favored Mikasa’s playful reaction. 18.3% enjoyed Levi’s more cautious approach to the sea.

WAS FLOCH RIGHT IN CHASTISING THE 104TH (AND BY EXTENSION, LEVI)? 178 Responses

Floch had called out the 104th for their actions during the SerumBowl. 51.7% of participants believed Floch was right to speak up but maybe not so harshly. 23% thought Floch was out of line with his accusations, while 19.1% supported what he had to say.

In his context it was right

What he said has merit, but I feel like him shitting on Armin even though it was Levi’s decision made him look cowardly, like he doesn’t have the guts to say the stuff he said about Armin to Levi

This guy does very little in the one battle he’s in and acts like he’s some war veteran. They tell the scouts in recruitment that most will die and then he gets surprised and upset in his first battle when most die. The other characters have been through this multiple times now, he really doesn’t have the right to be acting so angry. Like Hange says, she has hundreds she’d like to get back. Maybe it should or shouldn’t have been Erwin, but he’s the lowest on the totem pole for who gets the right to say one way or another and is acting way too high and mighty

He was right from his perspective, but again he really knows little about them.

Yeah, I do think he was in the right for voicing his opinions but he definitely chose the wrong time and place to do so

No, his arguments were invalid since whoever who was going to make that decision was going to be influenced by their emotions because they are humans

Floch is a bitch

Floch is the Simon Cowell of the Survey Corps. He’s got a personality where he’ll speak his mind no matter what. Personally I think he was right to express his thoughts but I didn’t agree with him on some points and it was at an inappropriate time

No, saving Erwin would have been the wrong choice

He was right in chastising the 104th, not Levi

What he said was wholly correct, but reductionist. The value that Erwin brought was iron will, devious planning, and plenty of experience. Armin has demonstrated powerful will on his own, is a genius in his own right, and lacks experience. Armin has the potential to grow into a better strategist than Erwin could be, as experience is not an insurmountable obstacle, and it isn't like he has none whatsoever. While yes, saving Erwin would be better for the immediate future, saving Armin would be better in the long run, as he is the better strategist. Floch oversimplified the issue, and Levi's decision was the right one for the wrong reason

DO YOU THINK EREN HAS MATURED OVER THE COURSE OF THE SERIES? 180 Responses

Our main character has gone through a lot of developments since he was first introduced. A majority 76.7% believe Eren has matured into a less naïve and impulsive person. 20% of participants think Eren has grown but has not matured past his original ideals.

Eren’s development has been amazing. The best example is by the second episode he promises to kill every last Titan while in this episode he walks past one leaving it in peace. That sums his change up perfectly

No, I think he's naive because he immediately believed Rod Reiss and his views change rapidly depending on the memories

Yes, he was very quick to react and not only would he react quickly he would react in extreme ways (kill EVERYONE). Whether or not he has the same kind of goals (kill everyone) he certainly isn't so quick to react anymore, just look at him by the sea, calm. Calm or going insane I'm not sure yet

He has changed some views after all that he's learned, but still seems pretty impulsive and like he hasn't matured much emotionally

I don't think he has assimilated the situation quite right as he is now somewhat depressive, even more than in “the night before retaking wall maria” when the scout recruits tell them they looked different

DID THE MOMENT THAT THE CHARACTERS FINALLY SEE THE OCEAN MEET YOUR EXPECTATIONS? 179 Responses

The moment the characters have been waiting for has finally come. 36.3% of participants report that the moment exceeded their expectations, while 29.1% said it went differently than they expected but still enjoyed it regardless. 23.5% said the moment evenly met their expectations.

Eren's such a buzzkill

It was both heartwarming and sad to know that they have achieved what they set out to do but seeing a shell of the Eren we used to know sure us disheartening

EREN IS SHOWN AT A DISTANCE FROM HIS FRIENDS AS HE SORROWFULLY LOOKS ACROSS THE SEA. DO YOU THINK THIS INDICATIVE OF FUTURE DEVELOPMENTS BETWEEN THE TRIO? 180 Responses

Eren’s sorrowful gaze and distance from his friends sparked some theories about the future of his friendship between the trio. 55% of participants believe this indicates Eren will start to move away from his friends as time progresses, whereas 32.8% believe Eren may “leave them behind” as usual but they will always manage to reunite. 9.4% expect the three will remain close no matter the obstacle.

Yes and no. I feel like he will start to distance himself more to contemplate his life and what he had learned but will still hang around his friends even if their bond isn’t as good as it was earlier on

Been spoiled on this lol

HOW DO YOU READ EREN’S WORDS “IF WE DESTROY THE ENEMY WILL WE FINALLY BE FREE?” 180 Responses

There have been a few interpretations of Eren’s closing words of the season. 42.8% believe he is pondering whether destroying their enemies across the sea will even be enough to set them free, while 24.4% believe Eren has come to the realization that there is no true freedom in the end. 16.7% think Eren’s words mean that he thinks destroying their enemies is the only way out of their hell, and 15.6% think he’s wondering if freedom is worth the price of all the killing.

He is conflicted about this thought, and question if it's the only way

WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE PARADIS PLANS TO DO ABOUT THEIR LOOMING THREAT MARLEY? 178 Responses

Now that they are aware of Marley as their big threat, Paradis must take measures to respond. 29.8% of participants believe Paradis will advance their weapons and go on the defensive if Marley decides to attack again. 29.2% believe Paradis will be the one to initiate an attack onto Marley’s land themselves.  24.2% are still not sure what exactly Paradis plans to do.

I think the survey corps will infiltrate Marley similarly to how Reiner, Bertoldt and Annie infiltrated the walls

THERE WERE SOME UNSEEN SCENES IN THE CREDITS. WHEN DO YOU THINK THESE SCENES TAKE PLACE? 179 Responses

There were some scenes in the credits that weren’t shown in previous episodes. 45.8% believe these scenes are to occur sometime in the future, while 13.4% believe these are from the past. 11.7% think the scenes are general and can belong to any time period. Some people skipped the credits—have you not learned from Part 1? :P

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

First time we see the seashell and I wonder what’s the meaning behind it. Excited about the next season, as the post credits scene is probably a teaser for season 4 and the seashell appears once again!

Can’t wait for s4

TBH, I was really hoping we’d see Colossal Armin this episode just cause I wanna see how his design would look, even though I knew there wasn’t any good way to fit it in this episode. That being said, everything else was a nice sendoff before the final arc

Jean deserves credit for being the only reasonable person during the Floch argument and de-escalating the situation

It might have undercut the tone of the episode, but I still wish we got a cliffhanger like season 1 (and to a lesser extent season 2)

Something we could ponder over the next year and a half and keep us theorizing. Still great tho

Lovely end, but very different from end of season 2

If what is implied is true, Historia is in huge danger of having something terrible happened to her. Also, Eren seems to be going from "obnoxious violent brat" to "depressed murdersome warmonger" due to his obsession with "true freedom"

I have no idea where the series is heading and its exciting

Honestly at this point I've lost interest in this series. Everything about Marley and war psychology is zero interest to me, it really feels like they're drifting from that the story is actually about (or what made it great to begin with)

This is amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eren has better hair

I loved it! Such an amazing end to an amazing part of the show, the credits were ominous yet hopeful for the future, and I loved the last scene of Eren keeping the shell from Armin. I thought we’d finally see Armin in his titan form, but them seeing the sea was a pleasant surprise

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 171 Responses

Thank you so much to everyone who participated!!