#signs of emotional trauma

[ranjith11]

Edith Shiro and The Gift of Trauma | SummitPressPublishers

🌟How can trauma be a gift?! That's the question author Edith Shiro has been fielding since her book was released by Harvest in February, 2023. Dr. Shiro built her psychotherapy practice around trauma recovery and post traumatic growth. Big trauma, trauma with a "t", collective trauma, she's seen it all in her professional and personal life. For over 25 years, she's sought to understand who thrives because of their trauma and why. We discuss the growth process involved in writing and publishing a book like this as well.

[ray935sworld]

Okay serious question, how do I keep a friend away who I stopped seeing as a friend due to dismiss and ignoring of my feeling and he has romantic feelings and asked me out multiple times/ made hints about a what could have been despite knowing I'm not into men?

Edit: Okay! He is blocked now and yes I had a ray that's not normal moment

[dearth-in-serendipity]

The ones who don’t like to be hugged were once those kids who never got any when they needed it the most.

ds.

[haunted-xander]

Very self-indulgent. I love mashing things I love together

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

I think we should normalize active parenting. Like we have plenty of examples of neglectful parents, we should get some of active parents. Also, to all the parents already doing the stuff below, great work.

I don't have kids, but I was a kid, and I think these are things parents should know.

If your child comes to you with a concern, no matter how insignificant or stupid you personally find it, take them seriously. It is important to them, even if it isn't important to you. Also, they wouldn't bring it up to you unless they thought it was important. Taking your children's "smaller" concerns seriously will make it far more likely they will come to you with the biger ones. Also, if it's a problem you can't solve, there is no shame in getting outside help, even if it means "exposing" the fact things aren't perfect. You cannot solve every single one of your child's problems alone. And you should help them solve problems, so you aren't solving everything for them. They do need to learn how to solve things on their own, like fights with siblings, or schoolwork. WITHIN REASON. If your child brings up to you that one of their siblings is depressed, or is struggling with something else like that (I.e. an eating disorder or self harm, or other mental illnesses), or otherwise heavy concerns, IT SHOULD NOT BE THE CHILDS RESPONSIBILITY TO FIX IT AND HELP THE SIBLING. YOU ARE THE ADULT. NOT THEM.

No child should EVER have to be the one dealing with these things because you don't think they're important, and you want to ignore them. Just because it's common that most siblings have to be a third parent doesn't mean it should be. Sweeping it under the rug is easy, but you SHOULD NOT make your child deal with it because they knew you didn't care.

Children and teens will match your energy. If you don't care about what they say the chances of them talking to you, and/listening to you decrease dramaticlly.

Also. The same goes for when they're excited about something. Positive reinforcment will make them far more likely to succeed becasue they know you'll care. They figured out how to tie their shoes? AMAZING. They drew a really really crappy stickfigure drawing of a person petting a cat? Tell them what you like about it, (colors, bold lines, etc) and maybe sandwich in a suggestion for how they could make it better.

Further, If your child is upset about something, don't belittle them because you don't think they should be upset about it. at that point you're past they shouldn't be upset about it, they ARE upset about it. Also, this moment, right now, for them is the hardest they have ever lived. Just because they're not an adult and they're not struggling with the same things as you, doesn't make their struggles any less valid. It might not seem like it because you know that not getting an A in math is not the same level as not being able to pay rent, but it's on that level for them. Just because it's "kid" struggles, doesn't mean it's not a struggle. They deserve to have their feelings validated just as much as you do, even though it's not an adult problem. Stuff is really really really hard as a kid because you don't have the skills to cope with things and you're experiencing a lot of things for the first time in high dosages, and it's hard.

Do with this what you will, but I wish my parents had done ANY of this when I was growing up.

[traiciontrauma]

[lavenderlyncis]

PLEASE someone tell me they also cried while playing disney dreamlight valley and save me from embarrasment

[im-an-anthusiast]

Ditches and Spiders

God, his forearms ITCHED.  Ugh – they sang a horrible siren song, to which the only answer was the raking of claws, the bloody contact of skin and nails. Or whatever. He clenched his fists, twisting them, rolling his wrists, and watching the taut, lean, yet somewhat gaunt muscle flexing under his scarred skin. Calixte hated the scars so, so much. They weren’t ugly, contorting, or shredding, and they weren’t spirals of thorns or carved spines. They were “beautiful”, twisting, mending – spirals of petals and curving stems. Calixte always hated the mix of lily flowers curling up his arms in a monotone white of scar tissue. They made him sick. His entire lunch – half of a white chocolate granola bar – tickled the very top of his throat, acidically ghosting over the roof of his mouth. He ought to practice Magic again.  

He applied the Sepal Balsam. Almost half the container coated his forearms thickly, massively surmounting the blood below it. Was that... wait... quadruple- no, pentuple the recommended dose? Perhaps that was why he could feel his pain fade into such intense numbness so quickly that in mere seconds he could not feel his forearms at all – and could, in real-time, watch the open wounds, cuts, gashes, and lacerations riddling his forearms and climbing up his bicep close, and twist at themselves, forming sickeningly intricate floral shapes, layering onto those already there. What a disgusting toll he has to pay, really. And, sure, he could always not push himself so much or just wait for himself to heal, but how would he get better, then? The best around don’t just rest. No pain, no gain, after all! He just has to push himself a little harder, surely...! 

The gloves contracted around his arms. They squeezed and cried at the Magic pouring into them, pushing and lashing at his flesh. The gloves wrung his arms, and blood dripped out from their hems at his biceps. All for... him.  

The bouquet strained in his arms. The paper tore open at the pressure pushed into it, flowers spilling around his flesh. Ditch and spider lilies both wrapped around his forearms, slipping from his embrace one by one. All from... him.  

“Are you proud, dad?” 

[bylrndgm]

byler x tarot cards: valentine's day special [1/4]

ace of hearts (cups) ♡ love, new relationships, compassion, creativity.

Credits 💘 (Valid for each part of this series)

Gifs, psd, layout, sharpening by me

The layout has been recreated by me, however, it is inspired by this tarot deck

Since I don't have any original ideas lol, I saw this idea on @kingofscoops' account [xxx] (thank you aimz for being such an inspiration!)

Font

[linagram]

[ 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝-𝚝𝟸 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚊 #𝟶𝟷 ] 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚗𝚘 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎

the second trial is getting closer and closer to its end. it's time for miki to finally meet jackalope, learn more about how this place works and who she's going to work with in the next season.

(also she has her hair down now!)

(the door opens)

Miki: *sighs*

Miki: Well, uh..

Miki: I guess it's over.

Miki: ...

Miki: It's.. kinda lonely now.

(sound of Miki sitting down on her bed)

Miki: This is so..

Miki: *starts crying*

Miki: This is not.. fair.. 

Miki: Eiji-san.. had worked so hard.. 

Miki: A-and now..

Miki: H-he'll be fine, right? I mean, we don't have anyone who can treat him, b-but..

Miki: I-I asked Chiba-san, but she's not a doctor, she's just the oldest one here..

Miki: A-and I can only d-do first aid stuff..

Miki: T-thankfully, it's just a broken arm, it could've been much worse..

Miki: But still..

Miki: .. Why is Eiji-san the only guard that the prisoners can touch?

Jackalope: Good question.

Miki: *SCREAMS*

Jackalope: Okay, before you try to hit me with anything-

Miki: WHO ARE YOU?! 

Miki: Or.. uh..

Miki: WHAT ARE YOU?!

Miki: "I.. I knew there was something wrong with this place, but I didn't expect to see this rabbit thing-"

Miki: ...

Miki: .. Rabbit thing?

Jackalope: Here we go again.

Jackalope: Oh-

Miki: Are you the rabbit that Hiyuu-san mentioned?!

Jackalope: S-stop shaking me-

Jackalope: .. Hiyuu?

Miki: Uh.. You know..

Miki: The third guard.

Miki: Wait, why am I even having a conversation with you? How can you even talk?!

Jackalope: Let's talk about that later.

Miki: I literally want to know why we can talk like this!

(sound of Jackalope jumping down on the bed)

Jackalope: Anyway. 

Jackalope: So, you're Miki, right? 

Jackalope: Yeah, you're definitely the cutest one out of all the guards we have this time.

Miki: .. How many guards do you have exactly?

Jackalope: Eh, there was supposed to be one more, but he couldn't handle the pressure, so..

Miki: .. What do you mean by that?

Jackalope: Actually, maybe I should explain how exactly we chose the guards this time. I don't think anything bad will happen if you learn more about this.

Jackalope: Also, I just trust you more than that Eiji guy. There is a reason why you're the "goddess of this place" after all, haha.

Miki: B-but what happened to the fourth guard-

Jackalope: So, you have probably already noticed that there's some kind of pattern if you think more about the connection you and Eiji have with other prisoners.

Jackalope: Two prisoners in particular. 

Miki: .. Eiji-san and Kei-san are brothers. Me and Asahi-san are siblings.

Jackalope: Exactly. So, why do you think we decided that we should choose the prisoners' siblings as the guards?

Miki: .. No idea. 

Jackalope: Well, you might be thinking that we did it out of some kind of sadistic urge to make you two judge your own siblings, however, Eiji hates Kei and would love to see him die.. or at least that's what he says, and it took you some time to remember that Marito is actually your brother.

Miki: How do you know his-

Jackalope: It isn't actually that entertaining, especially if we consider how you two tend to vote everyone. Eiji would still vote Kei guilty no matter what and you would do the opposite with Marito and forgive him every single time.

Jackalope: Also, this is just.. tasteless to me. What we need is actual judgement, even if it's based only on the prisoners' looks, and not your connections and relationships and how much you will cry when it's time to vote them guilty.

Jackalope: Though you have to agree that you have.. certain relationship dynamics with some of them. I bet it's getting harder to make decisions because of them.

Miki: So.. Why did you go for the prisoners' siblings?

Jackalope: The answer is simple, really.

Jackalope: Because it was easier.

Miki: .. Huh?

Jackalope: Think about it. What, you think we just found you all in a minute?

Jackalope: Yes, this prison might work in some mysterious ways that are impossible for someone like you to understand, but we had to find ten murderers who live in completely different cities and towns, wait for the right moment to send them here, make sure their family, friends and loved ones didn't find out and we also needed to find guards to judge them. Not one guard, but more, because this time we needed to see how the trial would go with people who have completely different morals.

Jackalope: So, then we found out more information about everyone's family members, we learned about you and Eiji, and we were like..

Jackalope: We need to put these two in the same room and see how it will play out.

Jackalope: But we still needed more than two guards because there was a possibility of you two refusing to work together and we didn't want a 50/50 result, so..

Miki: What is a "50/50 result"?

Jackalope: So yeah, we just decided that it will be easier to choose the prisoners' siblings as the guards because we wouldn't have to think too hard about it.

Miki: ...

Miki: U-um, sir, I don't know your name..

Jackalope: Oh, right, please forgive me for not introducing myself earlier, haha. Call me Jackalope-

Miki: A-anyway, sir, that's kind of lame.

Jackalope: Huh.

Miki: I AM SO SORRY, PLEASE PRETEND YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THAT!

Jackalope: No, no, I want you to elaborate.

Miki: Well.. I thought that there would be more thought put into.. 

Miki: You know.. All of this.

Jackalope: But we did put a lot of thought into it! 

Jackalope: For example, we've even chosen-

Jackalope: .. Ahem. I did agree to tell you about the siblings part, but I have to stop myself here. You're lucky that you're cute and it's hard to say no to you.

Miki: "I just wanted to learn more about the fourth guard.."

Miki: S-so, the fourth guard is-

Jackalope: We actually weren't sure if we should make you and Eiji the prisoners or Kei and Asahi.

Miki: ... What?

Jackalope: Or, you know, Kei and you, Eiji and Asahi, whatever.

Miki: W-what? Why?

Miki: W-why would you have a problem with making that choice?

Jackalope: Well, I think you already know the answer.

Jackalope: I mean, you all are murderers in some way.

Miki: ...

(sound of Miki falling on the floor)

Jackalope: Aw, don't look so sad. You already knew that-

Miki: But I.. But.. 

Miki: B-but Marito is alive! He's here! I didn't kill him!

Miki: I still think I'm a terrible sister and he deserves someone better than me, but..

Jackalope: Oh, Miki, you know I'm talking about someone else.

Miki: ...

Jackalope: We both know that Marito wasn't your victim.

Miki: ...

Miki: Well, Eiji-san can't be a murderer. He's too good for that.

Jackalope: "Good"? *laughs* You're way too pure for someone like him.

Jackalope: You seriously think a normal guy would have so much fun punishing everyone? And would be so experienced with coming up with ways to torture people?

Miki: E-even if he did kill someone, I'm sure he had a reason-

Jackalope: And so what? He's still a murderer.

Jackalope: You are a murderer. He is a murderer. The prisoners are murderers too. 

Jackalope: Milgram doesn't care about how you guys did it and why. You all had something to do with someone's death. Whether it was a direct murder, whether it was driving someone to suicide, whether it was causing someone's death by inaction, whether it was an accident, whether it was self-defense, this prison doesn't care.

Miki: .. But this isn't how a normal prison works. This isn't how normal trials work.

Jackalope: And you already know this place is anything but normal.

Miki: .. Is Hiyuu-san also a murderer?

Jackalope: Hm.. Kind of, but not really. Though he is partially responsible for someone.. almost dying.

Jackalope: And because of you and Eiji being more.. direct, we made you two wake up first.

Jackalope: Actually, if we count the fourth one, he was the one who woke up first, but.. There was a reason for that.

Miki:"We weren't the ones who woke up first?!"

Jackalope: There also was another reason why we went for the siblings, but this one.. Yeah, I'm not going to talk about it much.

Jackalope: So let's just say, it would be easier for us to make some.. changes to the trial.

Miki: "Changes"?

Jackalope: Well, for example..

Jackalope: If you keep asking more questions, maybe one day you will be the one waking up in a prison cell and waiting for your brother to judge you.

Miki: B-but you were the one who decided to tell me all this!..

Miki: Wait..

Miki: What.. does this all mean?

Miki: Actually, who are "we"?

Miki: You're wearing what looks like a guard uniform.. But I don't think you're one of the guards..

Jackalope: Haha, no, I'm not the fourth guard-

Miki: THEN WHO ARE YOU?!

Miki: WHO ARE ALL OF YOU?!

Miki: WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THIS? WHY ARE WE HERE?

Miki: JUST ANSWER ALREADY OR I WILL K-

Miki: ...

Jackalope: See? You all are murderers. Simple as that.

Jackalope: Oh, right, it's time for you two to properly meet each other.

Jackalope: I know you two have already met in person..

Jackalope: Even though I had told him not to leave his room..

Jackalope: Anyway, meet the third guard of the Milgram prison: Kuroki Hinode!

(the door opens)

(sounds of Hinode's steps)

Hinode: I really could just use a screen for this, but it'd be very rude..

Hinode: Hello, Miki-san. It's very nice to meet you again like this.

***

Jackalope: So, how are you doing?

(silence)

Jackalope: Not good, huh? Understandable.

Jackalope: But hey, at least it was Yurika who broke your arm. I can't imagine how you'd react if it was Kei.

(silence)

Jackalope: Well, I doubt you'll be able to participate in the voting process this time. 

Jackalope: Anyway, see you-

Eiji: .. Judge..

Jackalope: Hm?

Eiji: I still.. 

Eiji: Need to judge them..

Jackalope: Hey, I admire your diligence, but we already have a guard with health problems, so-

Eiji: Well, what else do you expect me to do?!

Eiji: I'm not just gonna lie here!

Eiji: If I can't judge them, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!

Eiji: I FINALLY KNOW WHAT I WAS BORN TO DO! I KNOW WHAT THE PURPOSE OF MY LIFE IS!

Eiji: JUST LET ME DO MY JOB ALREADY!

Eiji: !

Eiji: .. It hurts..

Jackalope: *sighs* I really wish you could be more obedient. Why can't you just follow the others' example?

Eiji: .. Did you do something to me?

Jackalope: Huh?

Eiji: Nobody can touch Miki. But they can touch me perfectly fine. 

Eiji: And if I remember correctly, this started to happen only when the second trial began.

Eiji: So.. Again, did you do something to me?

Jackalope: .. Seriously, why do you remember our first meeting so well?

Jackalope: Now, where was that thing.. 

Jackalope: Right. Anyway, you'll forget everything in like five minutes, so I can just say it to you right now.

Jackalope: Eiji, I mean this in the nicest way possible. 

Jackalope: Your punishments are creative. I really wish I could see you punish more prisoners after the first trial.

Jackalope: But no, there wasn't even any fight between you and Miki. You've just let her save like seven prisoners.

Jackalope: So, uh.. You don't really make a good guard.

Jackalope: And you didn't give us the result we wanted, so..

Jackalope: Yeah, this is your punishment.

Eiji: ...

Jackalope: Anyway, have a nice dream.

[its-your-mind]

can I. JUST SAY.

There is so much power in the ability to laugh at the things that terrify you, the things that caused you your deepest wounds and traumas and insecurities

And not in a “haha that was actually always just a foolish trivial thing” and not in a “my fear was never necessary, how silly of me,” but in a “my only perspective on this for years was from below as I cowered before it, trying desperately to protect myself, and now I am slowly learning that it is possible to see this thing from a different angle.”

Caleb imagined the moment he would see Trent again millions of times, in millions of permutations. But the thing about trauma is that it’s almost impossible to imagine confronting its source as anyone but the person you were when you were hurt. And Caleb had been a child, alone, and Trent was the only authority figure with any sway over his life.

It is possible to imagine a student striking back against a cruel and abusive teacher. It is possible to imagine a powerful mage tracking down and punishing a lone fugitive ex-apprentice.

But Caleb isn’t alone anymore, and he’s not subject to Trent’s authority in nearly the same way.

In the moment when Caleb and Trent saw each other again, Caleb was a member of a group of powerful, capable adventurers who had recently thwarted the actions of a dangerous cult of a Betrayer God. He was accompanied by an Expositor of the Cobalt Soul. He was vouched for by an Archmage member of the Council of Tal’dore. He had been part of a successful infiltration into the enemy Dynasty, and had come out with the favor of their Queen.

Caleb might not be as powerful as Trent, either politically or magically, but he’s also not a naive young student from a farming village anymore. He has allies. He has a family. He has power. He is not someone who can be easily made to disappear.

And while Caleb may not have internalized that quite yet, Trent clearly has, and more importantly, the rest of the Nein have.

They all stepped in around Caleb as a show of support and protection and strength as soon as they saw Trent coming close. “This one isn’t yours to control anymore,” they’re saying. “If you want him, you’re going to have to go through us.”

And they’re still listening, still validating Caleb’s fear and assuring him that they’re with him and that they’re going to keep him safe, but they understand how hard this must be for him, and he can just say the word and they’ll all leave Rexxentrum behind.

But they’re also adding chocolate and pastries to the list of demands they have for the Cerberus Assembly for future meetings. They’re mentioning the Happy Fun Ball, by name, to Ludinus Da’leth. Jester is offering to hold official parlay meetings in a volcano. Caduceus is telling Trent he doesn’t know what the word “caustic” means.

And all of a sudden… Caleb is able to step out of the protective and submissive position he’s held towards Trent and the Cerberus Assembly for his whole life. Not entirely, and not permanently, but… his new family just being there, being who they are even when surrounded by these powerful and terrifying people from his past…

All of a sudden, some of the shadows fade away, and yes, Trent is awful and horrible and has had too much control over Caleb’s life, and yes the Cerberus Assembly is powerful and far-reaching and has agents all over the world, but Jester can still baffle Ludinus, and Caduceus can still read Trent like a book, Beau can still be blunt and direct, Yasha can still make herself a threat, Nott can still be sly and inconspicuous, and Fjord can still sweet-talk through interactions with dangerous people.

All of a sudden, Caleb is not alone.

Things aren’t better. He’s still broken and hurting and scared. But now, as he watches his friends square up next to him against his past with the same irreverence they give to everything else, he’s able to take small steps. Call Trent out on his cowardice. Offer a greeting to Eadwulf. Ask Ludinus direct questions about the intentions of the Cerberus Assembly.

He’s not safe, none of them are safe, but they are together, and that makes them powerful. That makes them dangerous. That makes them a threat. And all of a sudden, the looming presence of Trent Ikithon starts to recede back into Caleb’s past. Not gone, not forgotten, not excised… But past. Not here. Not now. Not surrounded by these people who will stand around him and behind him and beside him as he faces down the people that haunt his past.

[sora-of-uranus]

I love how they gloss over Spencer getting Anthrax poisining so quickly. I mean they do this for ALL traumas but I feel like they should've at least shown him struggling to breath whilst running for the next few cases, maybe some people being double worried to let spencer go into crime scene alone, and of course spencer holding this against them. I need them to go "spencer I don't think-" "Who was it that helped solve a case whilst DYING of Anthrax??? cuss last I checked you wern't the one laying with a breathing tube up his nose for a week. So anyway this 6th cup of coffee is super needed at 11am"

[mynamesjameslynx1412]

(had to edit this because it was showing up on the sh@d@my tag and i felt really bad abt it sorry guys)

i just saw an account I followed reblog sh@dow x @my... day ruined. crying. I have just this unnatural hatred for this ship ever since i discovered it in primary school it just made me upset to think about

like obviously absolutely no hate to anybody who ships this I'm just an asshole who can't bear it when others like different things than me.

[runawayfuture]

concept art for my AU where the church lets House Gautier hold on to the dragon sign in case they didn't have a kid with a Crest and so Miklan doesn't get kicked out and he loves his little brother and everything is Fine Actually

[hooved]

nothing makes me block someone faster than them writing paragraphs about how much they hate odo in the tags on my posts about him

[transmogrified-in-the-void]

Some days I think "oh I must be a narcissist bc I like ppl listening to me when I talk and when they pay attention to me and do my things" and then I realize that I've spent most of my life doing that for other people and not having it reciprocated properly so maybe I deserve to have the attention on me a bit