#sigh... in an ideal world...
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yk ive always wanted to open some kinda 24/7 hang out space (™️™️™️)
like you dont have to pay anything to be there but you can just chill, maybe there ARE snacks and drinks you can buy but you dont gotta to be there (i think if there are any baked goods made inhouse theyd be free if theyre not sold in the next like... 36hrs??? after being displayed)
board games, card games, ttrpgs, etc thatre free to use so long as you like. check them out maybe?? a kinda 'trade your id or smthn' type system?
id also want it to have like. showers. theyd have the same kinda system i think
n then ideally itd also have rooms in addition to the main area for like, when you/your group want relative quiet/privacy or when yall dont wanna disrupt the others in the main area. n rooms can be reserved in advance for those late-night ttrpg sessions or smthn lol
basically theres a lot i think COULD go into this but. i have No Idea how id go about executing this OR how to keep it up and running beyond like. occasional donations and fundraisers. like id unfortunately need so much money for a space and amenities and if i wanna keep this theoretical place as no-cost (for patrons) as possible id need funds from Somewhere 😪
tl;dr: would love to open a third space thatd be Safe and Chill and (Mostly) Free (™️™️™️), but idk where id even start w that and id need Money 😭
#cryptic ramblings#third places#the reason itd be 24/7 is bc the amount of times where my friends and i can only rly hang out are like. after 9pm but we still wanna do smth#but Dont wanna go into a restaurant or a club or whatever the fuck. but also all of us DONT wanna be at home#like we have no real places to go. yeah theres the park but like. its dark. and theres too many Risks and we all have anxiety#anyways im always thinking 'man... itd be nice to have just like. a place to go thats chill but i dont have to buy anything to sit there#at 11pm or 1am or smthn#n i dont even wanna make a profit or anything like itd be a nonprofit business but ofc id wanna pay employees properly#sigh... in an ideal world...
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I was just thinking what a cool job this might be.. what if you were just the person who makes little still images of cute animal figurines doing various activities to post on social media...? like.. show up to work and just spend the whole day like "hmm... this table should be placed to the left a little.. let me set this miniature bagel down in this way... this tiny rabbit should be wearing a scarf", setting the backgrounds, the lighting, etc. ... dream job perhaps lol...
#I'm sure it probably doesnt pay much lol#but.. maybe in some ideal world..#with my health and mental conditions and level of functioning there are VERY few Jobs I could actually EVER manage aside from#just being self employed and being able to set my own hours somehow etc... But every once in a while I come across something like this#and it's like... hrmm.... Yes... perhaps if I could align myself in this hyper specific scenario under hyper specific conditions in a#precise and predictable way and everything worked out perfectly and I had all the accomodations I might need.. maybe I could#do THAT thing then .. lol#Not just generally a 'social media manager' or something. I think that would drive me into the throes of madness#but SPECIFICALLY 'person who makes the images for the calico critters social media' and also#the place i have to go to do that is either my home or within walking distance of my home and also i rarely have to interact#with others aside from the posts probably going through some approval process and initial ideas where they tell me what#type of scene to make and also i somehow make $90.000 a year doing this for only 4 days a week with frequent sick breaks#dreamy sigh and so on and so forth and such and so on#ANYWAY........#the idea of meticulously placing little pastries and miniature crayons and stuff around all day until the scene is perfectly crafted.. SO#SO so appealing to me... like designing environments in the sims except it's real and tangible.. And also imagine having access#to the FULL library of miniature items. to me that would be just as good as owning them#Like.. I get to use them and make little scenes with them and hold them and stare at them and everything except also#they're all kept at work so I don't have boxes of clutter filling home.#unlimited access to every little miniature food ever crafted yet none of the downsides (purchase cost and storage)#etc. etc. ANYWAY ...#Chuckling confidently as I add this onto the 'List Of ''Real'' Jobs I Could Do' which is just a notebook sheet of paper with only like 5#other similarly unlikely hyperspecific scenarios scribbled down
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Someone dont show him elden ring he's gonna kill himself
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sometimes the stupid soft-spoken midwesterner in me makes me feel like i'm overcharging for commissions and then when i sit and do the math. when you charge a professional hourly rate ($40 per hour) alone. you realize i am severely Undercharging! and we haven't even factored in cost of supplies, additional revisions, price of labor,,,,,, someone shake my shoulders and tell me to toughen up pls.
#personal#artists on tumblr#like. you wouldn't question a mechanic's bill right#why do we expect artists to undercharge so often#or make them feel shame for asking for something perfectly reasonable#it's not everyone else's fault i'm such a pushover askdhjfl but like god. normalize giving artists money for their labor and their time#it's also hard bc it's something i genuinely enjoy doing and would do it for free in an ideal world#i mean i do it for free and post online all the time ahlskdjf#but that doesn't lessen the value of my work or my time#sigh#sorry just rambling
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once again thinking about my (thus far unproduced) magnum opus: a crime and punishment muppet movie
#raskolnikov is the only human obviously#it's a perfect visual metaphor for his alienation from society and is also funny as fuck#in an ideal world he would be played by Cillian Murphy but I think at this point the man may be too old#so I'd have to find someone else with the graceful and devastating features of a cemetery angel....sigh....#because unfortunately raskolnikov is beautiful and that's why everyone tolerates his deranged behavior#razumikhin is rowlf the dog#Sonya is camilla the chicken#dunya is miss piggy#svidrigailov is either uncle deadly or kermit playing against his usual type which would be very interesting#and porfiry is gonzo#ok that's enough I could talk about this for hours
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watch it be another month before i even write another sentence for my fics
#berry 06.1#i hate being burnout literally 24/7#or depressed who even knows#but . i am sorry oomfies#in an ideal world i'd have the maxiel fic im working on uploaded before cots#cota*#but ik damn well theres no fucking way thats happening#sigh
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my luck is unmatched my new tablet i bought like 10 days ago is having technical issues i can't fix and i'm gonna have to contact support.....aghhhhhhhhhhhh
#it's usable but very much not ideal#it's been doing it for a couple days but i thought aw man maybe it'll fix itself...no........it has not#it's making little ghosty lines after i raise the pen up from the tablet#or just acting like the pen is touching the surface when it's not#i have tried Everything. new pen nib. clean pen. 4 different drivers. disable windows ink. enable windows ink#restart laptop 1 million times. plug tablet in. use tablet wirelessly. disconnect every other device and move it away#huion support please have mercy on me#please do not make me return this thing and wait 1 million years for a refund or a replacement#support isn't even available til monday...world's loudest sigh#i've been so excited to draw again!!!!! c'mon man#fredspeaks
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trying to get my driver's license even tho i was born to be a passenger princess
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What a fucking weekend. Set up for a nearby outdoor plant sale at this beautiful garden/old house property, a WPHL game (my first hockey game!! Boston going to playoffs! there was a gay proposal!), and reptile expo today. I held a vinegaroon and a beautiful leopard gecko. The intent was to talk to some folks and get some contacts for...well a leopard gecko but also......a tarantula. I've been thinking about it for a while, and wanted to start some convos and now I hate that I have to wait and plan and wait some more
#pers#Ideally a new world tarantula#but idk its early still#came home with another bromeliad tho#sigh
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Asa thinks too much while denji doesn’t allow himself to think at all they’re perfect for eachother
#edit:#I should have said she can’t stop thinking but now ppl are rbing this sigh.#anyway#this is super simplified I mean what denji said in this chapter kinda implies that he’s not being TOTALLY avoidant as I thought he was#just the way he’s ‘thinking unhappy thoughts will make you unhappy’ ‘thinking happy thoughts will make you happy’#having the bad thoughts but looking to things that will make you happy instead as a motivation#also the way denjis idea of happy thoughts immediately went to cats dogs and ice cream#it’s cute…#tho he really doesn’t have any ambitions except for the simple things in life#that in itself isn’t bad but also I can’t help but think that after part 1 he doesn’t allow himself to want anything deeper#than sex. even tho we know he wants something more. I still just think he doesn’t think he can get that anymore#like what he had with power and aki#so he focuses on the things he still thinks are attainable#not sure if im explaining this how I want but im not proofreading that godbless#.txt#csm#denji#cc#also I wanna say smth about the ideal world still has bad movies thing but I just woke up so later maybe
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Important to send ur new shiny baby war mechs off to the past in order to get war trauma'd with the rest of em
Anyway. LORE LORE LORE-- ORION PAX?!
#some shit#its not called cisformers#b4 he was prime and u know. big truck man he was just some guy named orion. i knew of this for obvious reasons.#he looked like a dork. ^_^.#the .2 seconds of is that another pink girl mech. to. oh wait duh the same thing happened to her. okay. excused.#[sighs dreamily] couldnt u have made her a big truck woman#rip to the aerial bots tho they are 3 weeks old at war. crazy.#get sent back 9 million years for the world u never known and are fighting in the ideals of idiot
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I just have to say I was taking a bite of scrambled eggs when I saw your tags on the post about being with your icon for like a month or whatever and I LITERALLY choked bc I was laughing so hard. So thank you and bless you and all that jazz
FJGFDJK I'M SORRY??? you're welcome?? oh my god 😭
#fullsugarsprite#[wistful sigh] in an ideal world i'd also be choking rn#i mean uhhh#i'm a child of god. obviously.
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*covers face* oh this is not normal I should not be so embarrassed 😭
#my ideal man is never going to exist#😭😭#ignore me I’m so embarrassed#but I need to throw words out into the world#BIG SIGH#IM SAD NOW#I’m gonna be fine#im just very lonely
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why do some people think that to diffuse an angry person you should hug them. how fucking dare you touch me i am going to throw you to the ground and kick and stomp and bludgeon your head in until it's nothing but a bloody pulp . just kidding i will instead politely and calmly tolerate you like i always do and start crying not because i'm sad but because i cannot realistically carry out my plan
#ideally i wouldn't be crying and simply be a hollow vessel waiting for you to leave but my eyes do their own thang#i could move out and be free from it all but i fear once i have no one else in my world i would just kill myself. le sigh.
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you're right I Am greedy! you're mine.
#♥hitogawari♥#♥stained.blades♥#I'm yours. you're mine. it's that fucking simple#you can't own me without giving me your own ball and chain#I'd kill him if he tried to leave. in theory of course#in an ideal world... sighs
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I think one of the frustrations I have with doctors is that there's no proper way to tell them they were wrong.
I spent years of my life suffering from certain issues that chalked up to medication being prescribed wrong and not one doc batted an eye at the medication I was prescribed being the cause of a TON of issues I was having.
I was told to suck it up for things by physicians and dieticians and ear-nose-throat docs and intestinal docs and to just try these very general tips and tricks when the glaring issue was a medication being prescribed incorrectly.
I finally got new med management last year and she immediately saw the issue (my anxiety meds 3x a day were the equivalent of taking 3 benadryl daily) and suddenly all these issues I had chronically for 5+ years vanished.
I wish i could go back and tell those doctors what the issue was and how they could have seen it (what with having access to my active medications). I wish I could somehow report that my old psychiatrist was prescribing medications in ways that were not approved by the government! But there's no such thing.
It's the same with a diagnosis, right? If you're actually diagnosed by a doctor who takes your concerns seriously and runs tests-- what happens to the doctors from before who didn't take your concerns seriously/didn't run these tests/didn't bother trying to diagnose you for one reason or another?
They just continue on not really knowing what happened to you, huh? And what happens when someone else comes into their office with similar issues? They'll just be blown off all the same.
I'm not really sure what the point of this ramble is, it's just... Frustrating that you can't just go back to a doctor and say "you were wrong, here's why. Please learn from this."
This goes doubly so for disabled folks btw.
#medicine#doctors#diagnosis#disability rights#took years for me to get a fibro diagnosis and even now im sitting here just learning about a serious B12 deficiency#its like#hell dude#wish i could tell my previous docs what the issue was so they'd know what tests to run#because in an ideal world that's what would be done and people would be able to get testing#but its ameri a#american healthcare#sigh#my post#this is a vent post#like its not really meant to be taken seriously#im just#h
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