#this is a vent post

[starsofang]

simon was the only one who could understand you. of course, he understood your interests and your distastes, but he was the only one who could understand you.

on days where you couldn’t get out of bed, couldn’t shower, couldn’t live, simon was the one who understood. he’d lay in bed with you, bathe with you, even when he barely fit in the tub and would have to maneuver his legs in an uncomfortable position to fit the both of you.

when the world was against you, simon stood tall by your side.

when you didn’t have it in you anymore to keep on going, simon gave you a second chance.

he knew how you felt. how when things got bad again, nobody was there to pick you back up, to tell you things will be okay, to hug you. simon never had that for himself, so when he met you, a shattered reflection of himself, he provided you with what he didn’t have.

unconditional love. undying affection. admiration on days where you felt you didn’t deserve it. everything he didn’t get before you, he gave you twice as much.

simon glued back your broke pieces with the utmost care. and when you broke again, he’d do it all over.

simon loved you for you. he loved every fragment that cracked along the way. loved you on days where you didn’t love yourself, and loved you on days where you felt like you were on top of the world.

where most people saw an ugly flower, shriveling up into rotted petals, he saw the garden of eden blossoming right before his eyes. he watered every intricate flowers, providing you with warm rays of sunshine in order to assure you would grow.

he took his time with you. he remained patient, because love always is. after all, you can’t bloom a garden without the occasional parasite or weed, and simon would get on hands and knees, fingers in the dirt if it meant tending to you.

[satellite-runner]

being physically disabled as a young adult after being an physically active child in and physically active family, who still participates in the online spaces for physically active hobbies but cannot participate physically means… i’m a living nightmare. i talk to people who share this interest with me, and my existence is their worst nightmare. they see my crutches and hear that i cannot walk far or climb a ladder and think, thank god it isn’t me. my existence is horrible and unimaginable to able bodied people.

[ophanstears]

i found him

he doesn't like sharing the bed

[mamuzzy]

I see one more post about how the Nulls are just poor little sad autistic meowmeow victims of Kal's ableist machinations and that being psychos are just rumors or he personally maintains mental illness in them, I will start a riot.

Admit it, dude, when you see the word "psycho" you don't think of people with Antisocial Personality Disorder, you think about the stereotypical serial killers the media slaps you with. If you don't know what behaviour patterns to look for, you won't find the clues exactly why are they "psychos". You expect a bloodbath, but ASPD is not about bloodbath!

Stop fucking victimizing the Nulls all the time. They are very much aware of their own mind, and they are very much aware that Kal is a manipulative bastard sometimes, and they are totally okay with it!

Stop fucking erasing their mental illnesses by saying shit that is all the fabrication of Kal! Seriously at this point, you give too much credit to this man.

sincerely, a random dude on the internet with an actual personality disorder.

[sleep-deprived-mf]

some of y'all after making me feel like a disgusting piece of shit for being hypersexual (something I physically can't control)

[nothingbutloveforyou]

yea i love being the friend you only have time for when nobody else is available!! i love not getting a text back when i ask if we are even still seeing each other TODAY. yea. i love seeing how everyone else matters more to all of you. i love seeing all of you not give a damn about my feelings!! thank u!!

[doctor-roman]

.

[hacked-by-jake]

Your local duskwood shitposter starts her first group therapy today and I'm so freaking nervous, please wish me luck. :'D

Posting it here because I’m in a hole full of self-pity and that's why I need to mimimi. xD And I'm not ashamed xD

[snakegirllovehandles]

I think today is the single worst day I've had in twelve years.

Across today I've written drafts about the two majorly dire events I was involved with. One not my fault, and once very much my fault. I'm not going to post either of them because I don't think making them public will do me any more good than the writing already did.

Have you ever wished that you could throw up so that maybe some of the poison you feel crawling in your veins will be gone from you?

At some point, useful self-reflection becomes unhelpful rumination and eventually self-flagellation. I think I've done what good I can for now.

I'll be bringing this up with my therapist on Monday.

[lesbospirk]

Me and my wife have been trying to have a baby for a year now and I just got another negative result. Idk what so do, everytime we try it just hits harder. It's so expensive and I hate being poked and prodded all the time. This is our third try and it only took a year because its so expensive and we have to wait to save up money.

Its honestly heartbreaking. They tell me I'm a perfect canidate for pregnancy, but it still feels like I'm doing something wrong because it's just not working. We want this so so bad. We have one more try before we have to drop more money on sperm. This just sucks so bad

[shivapvoid]

does anyone else have a deep unending rage all the time or is that just me

[mamuzzy]

It may sound controversial, but saying shit like "you are normal babybabu, there is nothing wrong with you" to a person with personality disorder causes more harm than not.

You mean it well. I know.

And before you are getting smartass with me, this is not a persmission to go to every person with a PD to say: you are a freak.

When you praise us, you have to be specific. When you are disappointed in us, you have to especially specific in the details.

Because that's how we are forming healthy connections between informations. That's how we are encouraged to choose more healthy ways to cope, pursuing more healthy ways to live life, or choosing healthier way to communicate our feelings.

My personality is not a constant thing, it's not evolving! It's appearing and disappearing, just like that, that's why it's called personality disorder.

It's a fucking shelf I have put labeled jars with traits as ingredients and carefully pour them into my witchcauldron and pray that the concoction will help me getting through a social situation without acting weird. My morals jar is always empty, I have to go to neighbor to borrow some if I want to have it.

Saying shit like "there is nothing wrong with you" totally contradicts with everything we were going through all our life. Why we are feeling isolated, why we are constantly reminded how our way of thinking about life is wrong.

"there is nothing wrong with you, you are normal" It's a fucking lie and even you know it when you say it.

[sleep-deprived-mf]

stared at the scars on my arms and now I'm wondering where it all went wrong and if I couldve prevented it all

[toxictrannyfreak]

Hey. People making fucking fanart for Kamala Harris. Could you maybe devote some time and energy to supporting Palestinians?

You know. The people Harris’s boss is dropping bombs on. The people Harris has refused to say she won’t drop bombs on. Those people. Those people for whom drawing art for actually, provably helps them escape genocide.

In no world does Tumblr Harris fanart help her get elected. In this world, art for vetted fundraisers saves lives. Maybe it even makes you feel a bit better about voting for her when she’s probably going to kill more children once she’s in office. Whatever.

At least you’d be doing something that would help someone, instead of ghoulishly propagandizing for the child-murdering establishment.

[gallantblade]

Some feelings on being AMAB nonbinary and not fitting into the current prevailing paradigm.