#this is a vent post

[starsofang]

simon was the only one who could understand you. of course, he understood your interests and your distastes, but he was the only one who could understand you.

on days where you couldn’t get out of bed, couldn’t shower, couldn’t live, simon was the one who understood. he’d lay in bed with you, bathe with you, even when he barely fit in the tub and would have to maneuver his legs in an uncomfortable position to fit the both of you.

when the world was against you, simon stood tall by your side.

when you didn’t have it in you anymore to keep on going, simon gave you a second chance.

he knew how you felt. how when things got bad again, nobody was there to pick you back up, to tell you things will be okay, to hug you. simon never had that for himself, so when he met you, a shattered reflection of himself, he provided you with what he didn’t have.

unconditional love. undying affection. admiration on days where you felt you didn’t deserve it. everything he didn’t get before you, he gave you twice as much.

simon glued back your broke pieces with the utmost care. and when you broke again, he’d do it all over.

simon loved you for you. he loved every fragment that cracked along the way. loved you on days where you didn’t love yourself, and loved you on days where you felt like you were on top of the world.

where most people saw an ugly flower, shriveling up into rotted petals, he saw the garden of eden blossoming right before his eyes. he watered every intricate flowers, providing you with warm rays of sunshine in order to assure you would grow.

he took his time with you. he remained patient, because love always is. after all, you can’t bloom a garden without the occasional parasite or weed, and simon would get on hands and knees, fingers in the dirt if it meant tending to you.

[satellite-runner]

being physically disabled as a young adult after being an physically active child in and physically active family, who still participates in the online spaces for physically active hobbies but cannot participate physically means… i’m a living nightmare. i talk to people who share this interest with me, and my existence is their worst nightmare. they see my crutches and hear that i cannot walk far or climb a ladder and think, thank god it isn’t me. my existence is horrible and unimaginable to able bodied people.

[ophanstears]

i found him

he doesn't like sharing the bed

[mamuzzy]

I see one more post about how the Nulls are just poor little sad autistic meowmeow victims of Kal's ableist machinations and that being psychos are just rumors or he personally maintains mental illness in them, I will start a riot.

Admit it, dude, when you see the word "psycho" you don't think of people with Antisocial Personality Disorder, you think about the stereotypical serial killers the media slaps you with. If you don't know what behaviour patterns to look for, you won't find the clues exactly why are they "psychos". You expect a bloodbath, but ASPD is not about bloodbath!

Stop fucking victimizing the Nulls all the time. They are very much aware of their own mind, and they are very much aware that Kal is a manipulative bastard sometimes, and they are totally okay with it!

Stop fucking erasing their mental illnesses by saying shit that is all the fabrication of Kal! Seriously at this point, you give too much credit to this man.

sincerely, a random dude on the internet with an actual personality disorder.

[hastalavistabyebye]

I have entered the phase of learning the names/dates and other very precise informations, of my revisions, for the exam I have to retake.

So, of course, my brain goes "don't wanna." at the prospect of learning by rote. My dude, I need to know those things. The only way is by rote. Let me do it!!!!

[nothingbutloveforyou]

yea i love being the friend you only have time for when nobody else is available!! i love not getting a text back when i ask if we are even still seeing each other TODAY. yea. i love seeing how everyone else matters more to all of you. i love seeing all of you not give a damn about my feelings!! thank u!!

[doctor-roman]

.

[therasponthisotherapp]

Saw a guy at work today (I work in a restaurant) who looked like a VERY old logan (the wolverine) and he was just sitting there alone drinking a beer and eating a greek salad (very badass of him)

Also my boss crashed into me and broke 6 glasses but we stay silly

I had something else to say but forgot it

[hacked-by-jake]

Your local duskwood shitposter starts her first group therapy today and I'm so freaking nervous, please wish me luck. :'D

Posting it here because I’m in a hole full of self-pity and that's why I need to mimimi. xD And I'm not ashamed xD

[cyanide-latte]

At this point all ads are intrusive and I want them dead

[shotapiss]

Being an antishipper has fucked up my life more than I would like honestly

I don't want to know how people can live while harassing others for the sake of morality

Saying stuff like "KILL YOURSELF" or "YOU DESERVE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU" to fucking people who are either minors or just doesn't enjoy problematic stuff but still doesn't want censorship for it

Like god can y'all for once realize that these are actual human you are talking with rather than a humanless ai with no feelings

It makes me fucking uncomfortable when someone mentions me having "sexual thoughts" for my family members in a fucking stupid argument

The fact that people could say this without a second thoughts is crazy

The fact that people can desensitize their humanity for the sake of protecting fictional characters is just batshit insane

I don't know how you can live while saying all of this to an actual human being WITHOUT feeling remorse

What do you get from this honestly??

Do you get happy at the fact that you made another teenager fear their thoughts and think they are "not fitted" to be an anti???

Do you get fucking joy from harassing people???

Do you feel sadness at the fact that you made another proshipper kill themselves??

Or do you feel better that you get rid of the "bad evil groomer who enjoys PROBLEMATIC FICTION"??

[snakegirllovehandles]

I think today is the single worst day I've had in twelve years.

Across today I've written drafts about the two majorly dire events I was involved with. One not my fault, and once very much my fault. I'm not going to post either of them because I don't think making them public will do me any more good than the writing already did.

Have you ever wished that you could throw up so that maybe some of the poison you feel crawling in your veins will be gone from you?

At some point, useful self-reflection becomes unhelpful rumination and eventually self-flagellation. I think I've done what good I can for now.

I'll be bringing this up with my therapist on Monday.

[sleep-deprived-mf]

stared at the scars on my arms and now I'm wondering where it all went wrong and if I couldve prevented it all

[mamuzzy]

It may sound controversial, but saying shit like "you are normal babybabu, there is nothing wrong with you" to a person with personality disorder causes more harm than not.

You mean it well. I know.

And before you are getting smartass with me, this is not a persmission to go to every person with a PD to say: you are a freak.

When you praise us, you have to be specific. When you are disappointed in us, you have to especially specific in the details.

Because that's how we are forming healthy connections between informations. That's how we are encouraged to choose more healthy ways to cope, pursuing more healthy ways to live life, or choosing healthier way to communicate our feelings.

My personality is not a constant thing, it's not evolving! It's appearing and disappearing, just like that, that's why it's called personality disorder.

It's a fucking shelf I have put labeled jars with traits as ingredients and carefully pour them into my witchcauldron and pray that the concoction will help me getting through a social situation without acting weird. My morals jar is always empty, I have to go to neighbor to borrow some if I want to have it.

Saying shit like "there is nothing wrong with you" totally contradicts with everything we were going through all our life. Why we are feeling isolated, why we are constantly reminded how our way of thinking about life is wrong.

"there is nothing wrong with you, you are normal" It's a fucking lie and even you know it when you say it.

[galwithalibrarycard]

Tell me why every fictional character who has an anxiety disorder also has at least one love interest (except for the one character who’s asexual, love you Beth March from March Family Letters). For that matter tell me why everyone I know IRL who has anxiety issues also has a partner or at least an ex. Tell me why the DSM says women with social anxiety are likely to be married but not to have a job, and I’m the reverse. Tell me why it’s only me whose self-isolation has been so bad that I’m about to be 30 and never been kissed. What is it about me specifically? What’s it take, huh?!