#shopping headcanons

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

141 Headcanons: Going Shopping

Grocery/Food Shopping

John Price loves being the one in charge of the buggy/shopping cart. He loves being the one pushing it, holding the list, and watching you walk ahead all pretty, plucking whatever you'd like to buy onto the cart. He also has a natural eye for deals and sales, and knows when something is actually for sale or when the shop is trying to lie to you.

Johnny MacTavish is a menace when he's shopping. With or without you, he's definitely straying from the list and the budget. He's definitely the type to go shopping while hungry and ends up getting too many snacks, or buys seasonal products that you don't need but that "will get rotated out" of the shop so he better buy them Now.

Kyle Garrick makes a whole day out of going shopping. He'll disappear while you're getting a cart and come back with Starbucks or a cold drink of some kind for you to sip on while you go along and buy whatever you need for the house. He's also very efficient, so he bags everything very well, heavy stuff on the bottom, light/fragile on top, and, especially, all the cold/frozen things together.

Simon Riley is too efficient. It's almost scary. He goes in and out of the shop in record time and doesn't even let himself be affected by sales, new products, limited-time-only displays... Nothing. He follows the list to a T and would rather go inside alone than have you follow him and slow him down. But that also makes him an ass and he'll definitely realize you forgot to add something to the list, but will STILL not stray from his 'route' to go get it. If you wanted it, you should've written it down.

VS.

Clothes' Shopping

John Price is of the opinion that all his clothes are fine and, therefore, he doesn't particularly need new ones. That being said, he does know all his sizes and measurements, and won't be opposed to getting news shoes or a new button-up every once in a while. He's also very much the type that'll give you his honest (and sometimes hurtful) opinion on the fit of the clothes you're trying on and sincerely suggest you try the size up/down.

Johnny MacTavish doesn't really like buying new clothes, though he can be convinced... if you promise him you'll go to a lingerie shop and pick out something sexy to wear just for him, he'll let you take him to Levi's or what have you to get him new clothes. That being said, he is the type who, when you're trying to find his size, will fuck off and disappear, only for you to find him by the till, looking at the male jewelry displays and analyzing all the chains and bracelets and cheap watches.

Kyle Garrick is a sweetheart to shop with. He has a good sense of what looks good and what doesn't, and knows the basic of 'big prints work well with small prints and with plain colours', even if he doesn't really wear much of either. He also knows about colour blocking, funnily enough. He loves when his sweetheart tries things out in the dressing rooms just for him.

Simon Riley is the worst person to go shopping with. Be it for yourself or for him. He hates waiting around as you skim the clothes' racks... He'd rather sit outside in the Husband Chair™️ until you're done. And if you try to drag him to a male clothing shop to buy him stuff? He'll complain the whole time about the price and the quality. "Why would I pay 15 quid for a t-shirt when I can put in an order and get 5 shirts from the Army for free, da'lin'?"

[trashy-raccoonz]

kimharry getting groceries tgt but instead they melt because of the heat, send post

also i might have gotten carried away and did a lil follow up comic....

[demigods-posts]

no but imagine percy who inherited his mom's beachwave brown, shoulder length hair as a kid. and all of his classmates and teachers thinking he's a girl and referring to him as such. and he doesn't correct them because he thinks it means they find him pretty. and he likes feeling pretty like his mom. then gabe makes him cut his hair in the second grade. and finds he likes the short hair and feeling handsome too. but he also really misses feeling pretty sometimes. and it isn't until after gabe mysteriously dissapears that he grows it out again and reconciles switching between both.

[betterthanbatman1]

Instead of: Batman leaves Jason alone with Sheila in Bosnia

I give you: Batman leaves Jason alone at the checkout line to go grab the milk he forgot

[whimsyvixen]

🎄 Happy Holidays my moots and followers~!! 🎄

I know I haven't posted much (life's been crazy and I've been everywhere except my home 😭) so here's a little present 🎁 I hope you'll enjoy!

Wishing y'all a Merry Christmas now because I probably won't post anything until next year! Love you guys! Enjoy the Holidays and stay safe out there!! 😁🙏

Just a dumb headcannon I have:

Brahms doesn't enjoy being groomed. He's kind of like a cat, dreading bath time and hiding away from you when he sees you with a sponge in your hand. He's very unkempt and doesn't see the point to maintaining a clean appearance every day if he's just going to get dirty again. He will initially refuse to let you trim his messy beard, but you've found a way to make him shut up and sit still while you work your magic~ ✨😉.

[horse-head-farms]

🪼slime-kisser Follow

all these posts like “don’t shop at boatem they support cannibalism” “the evil empire is a crypto scam” “don’t buy at octagon they’re trying to destroy the fabric of the universe” where the FUCK else am I supposed to shop????

🐠xbcrafted Follow

may i recommend horse head farms? we sell a variety items for agreeable prices and have alternate payment plans which mean you don’t have to spend a single diamond! you can find us via the nether hub <3

🪲yeswingsforlife Follow

do NOT shop at Horse Head Farms! Their items are incredibly overpriced (you can find grass, logs, etc for better prices) and this “alternative payment scheme” is actually signing an IOU. If you don’t know what that is, IOU stands for “I Owe You” and is a legal document that, when possessed, someone can force you to do anything. Literally anything. LegalKnight does a great video going into detail about it. According to this article, Horse Head Farms have just invested in building an auction house, possibly to sell off the IOUs they’ve acquired, so scummy CEOs could force you to work at their companies. Not to mention, their owners are incredibly sketchy, xBCrafted regularly tweets conspiracy theories and Hypnotizd invests in crypto

😵‍💫hypnotizd Follow

youre wrong actually, i have had nothing but brilliant service at Horse Head Farms. IOUs arent sketchy theyre normal pieces of paper. #shoptoday

🪲yeswingsforlife Follow

… you’re literally one of the owners

🐸cottagecoreliving Follow

to answer the original question, here’s a list of more reputable businesses that you can support instead!

Tays Trees

HIVE-DR8

Joe Hills’ Flower Stalls

Big Eyes

🥚dragon-tegg Follow

hey not to derail this post or anything but is anyone going to mention how OP literally fetishises slime hybrids???

( 7,067 notes )

🌃elytramoments Follow

hate when i crashland in the lava biome

🐶renrobert Follow

you mean the nether

🌃elytramoments Follow

i do not

#i think it’s a national park or something #idk its like this for miles #its near boatem

( 15.4k notes )

👁️big-eyes Follow

This weekend at Big Eyes we are having a #SALE of up to 99% OFF! EVERY item has a discount! Don’t waste your diamonds, shop at Big Eyes!

😍sexy-papa-k Follow

sweetfaces! we are going into debt! please buy ❤️❤️💕❤️🍆😭😭😭❤️ -papa k

👁️big-eyes Follow

kerlais why woudl you reblog on that account

😍sexy-papa-k Follow

we need all the reach we can get bubbles! ❤️😝❤️❤️🍆💕 -papa k

( 14 notes )

[superbat-love]

"Hi, I'd like a tattoo, please."

Bruce glanced up from the design he’d been doodling to see a man in a cowboy hat, sunglasses, and a thick mustache. He nodded in acknowledgment, hiding a smirk.

This man had been visiting Bruce’s tattoo parlor for months, each time in a different disguise, always requesting a new tattoo. The first time Bruce tried, every tool broke against his skin. Plus, the man always returned with skin as smooth and unmarked as a newborn’s.

Metahuman clients weren’t unusual for him, but Bruce sensed this one preferred to keep his identity a secret, so he played along.

"And what kind of tattoo would you like, Mr...?"

"Colby," the man replied. "I’m a cowboy. From Texas," he added needlessly.

Bruce pushed his catalog toward him, but the man shook his head, likely having memorized it by now.

"Can I request a custom design?" he asked, pointing at the paper on Bruce’s desk.

"You want... a smiley face?" Bruce asked, glancing at the childish doodle Dick had left that morning.

"No!" The man looked flustered. "I meant the design you were working on before I interrupted you. I really like it."

"Ah." Bruce glanced at the sketch he’d drawn absentmindedly—a bat intertwined with the Kryptonian symbol of hope.

"Very well. Have a seat, Clark," Bruce said, nodding toward the tattoo chair.

"Umm, my name is Col—"

"Colby," Bruce interrupted smoothly. "Sorry, slip of the tongue." He continued setting out his kryptonite tools, a faint smile tugging at his lips.

[crush-like-that]

people who say nico likes black coffee <<<<< people who think nico tried black coffee once to be edgy but almost died and has ever since been committed to teas and the occasional frilly, sugary drink

people who say will likes overly sweet lattes <<<< people who think will would drink a billion cups of black coffee just to keep himself up

[sillygoofyqueer]

HEAR ME OUT!!! What about, right, an AU where the main MXTX couples are somehow dropped into modern times (or...transmigrated back, in Shen Yuan's case), but they're still obviously from historical times. Instead of panicking or getting concerned like everyone else, Shen Yuan immediately finds the nearest, biggest cosplay convention and drags them all there so he can show off their awesome "costumes" (a win is a win, no matter the specifics). Cut to the couples strolling through the con, with Luo Binghe looking out of his depth, Xie Lian questioning everything and Hua Cheng hating that he doesn't have the answers for once, Lan Wangji the picture of serenity despite everything, Wei Wuxian looking like he literally belongs there, and Shen Yuan. Literally the picture of smugness. Everyone gawking and him being like "Oh hell yeah. Take a wild look at us guys."

[transmascotd]

transmasc character of the day: lps #182 from littlest pet shop

[eleu22]

Task Force 141’s go to Tesco Meal Deals

the tescos outside my uni is never fucking stocked i want the sandwich on ghosts so bad but that shit is always gone

John Price

- gets water as his drink (criminal)

- gets the mixed nuts as his snack (criminal)

- he’s smart tho he always gets the boujie water because the meal deal price is set

- the wrap is valid

- usually will also grab another snack bc this isn’t enough maybe like a bag of dried mango or some shit (old)

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

- my headcanon continues to live

- the healthy energy shit tastes like ass but he pretends its good

- does not usually shop at tesco, he’s a waitrose boy

- sometimes indulges in the odd crunchie bar but rarely

John “Soap” Mactavish

- horrifying (i love pepperami sm everyone disses me for it bc i pull that shit out in lesson and it stanks)

- protein to the max ig

- the whole meal fucking stinks

- uses gaz’s club card because he’s too lazy to get his own

Simon “Ghost” Riley

- absolutely classic

- everytime he gets it mentions how cost of living prices have made them more expensive

- grenade bars are disgusting but he loves them for some reason (masochism imo)

- the sandwich is the best one they have bc the bread is always so moist its so fucking good

- the monster bc yall saw the ghost monster can we all know

[alkelkha]

pretty girl, pretty smile.

ship & contents : jinx x fem!reader, fluff, kissing, light dialogue, i did this instead of studying for my exam, save me jinx save me, i'm in love with jinx and so are you

jinx is beautiful (common knowledge), but i don't think she fully understands that herself. when it comes to her looks she's strangely humble with it. she knows she's pretty...

that's all.

she doesn't dwell on it too much. she does her makeup and goes on with her day. at first, she was confused as to why you would act all weird around her. why you would stare at her.

— "got something to share with the class, toots?"

there was a time when she got up close and personal with you, waving an empty gun at your face and you couldn't even focus. you felt hot all over. was the heater on?

jinx doesn't even have to be close to you for you to freak out like this. there was this one time she was doing a job for silco, and you were tagging along.

you were no better than a man.

you were checking her out as you walked behind her. slim, small waist, long silky hair, beautifully proportioned, tattoos that only added to her character, the way she walked put you in a trance.

— "like what you see, sprinkles?"

she was so pretty that it physically hurt you in the best way possible.

taking off her makeup whenever she didn't have the energy, for it felt like a gift from the gods.

blue eyeshadow. smeared lipstick. mascara stains on her cheeks. carefully wiping her face down as she would lay on her chair, manspreading, completely exhausted.

she didn't even notice you finished, she was just so relaxed, she felt like putty. her eyes fluttered open to find your eyes completely glued to her face with a soft upturn on your lips.

you were looking at her as if she were the greatest thing to have ever come from the gods.

she couldn't even get a word in before you tackled her with a hug causing the both of you to fall over on the chair.

but when she smiles its game over.

a genuine, pure smile, perfectly captured in the moment from jinx is truly a sight to behold. when she smiles, it eases your heart. it seems like the world has lifted off her shoulders, and since she's so relaxed, you can relax.

she cracks another dumb joke of hers, and since you're an angel, you laugh as if it's the funniest thing ever. you laugh with your chest because it really was funny.

it was one of those stupid jokes she makes. It doesn't quite land right, but after a few moments of silence, you burst out laughing.

seeing you like that had jinx's heart in a chokehold. she couldn't explain it. her heart was on fire. her heart was prickled by a thousand thorns. and it felt amazing.

a twinkle could be found in her red-violet eyes. she was smiling. a feeling of pride washed over her. she made you laugh this hard. she was the one that made you this happy. your smile was a virus.

bright smile, cute little gap between her two front teeth.

wiping your eyes from the tears of laughter, you finally caught it. your heart felt as if it was gift-wrapped in silk and tugged on. cuteness aggression got to you.

— "why are you looking at me like that?"

her smile turns into a slight pout, feeling a bit self-anxious. you throw yourself on pinching her cheeks begging for her to smile one more time.

— "aww, you're so cute!"

jinx tries to push you off.

— "what's you're deal!?"

she wasn't even really trying to push you off. she liked it too much. her lips pecked all over her face. eyebrow, corner of her lips, nose, cheek, forehead, chin. everywhere.

— "i can't help it, you're so pretty!"

i haven't forgotten about TRINKET, i promise. i just have finals. once it's winter break i'll continue! don't worry i'm cooking. also, i am open to requests (nsfw & sfw).

[lockheed-martin-unofficial]

Cybertronians eating rocks for the minerals they contain. Cybertronians on earth incorporating more and more rocks into their diets to make up for the lack of energon.

Imagine cybertronians going to the beach with their human pals and partners, and when the human hands them a cool looking rock to admire it seeming proud of themselves, the cybertronian pops it into their mouth and thanks the mortified human for their tasty offering.

“How did you know granite was my favorite?” They ask, as the human mourns their cool find.

Museum gems. Has anyone told them about museum gems? I mean look at this and tell me you never wanted to snack on them.

The human keeps bringing their cybertronian a bag full of the finest rocks they picked from the pile every time they visit the museum.

Special thanks to @minecraft-parrot-enthusiast for this comment chain. This could be an episode.

Cybertronian who is both surprised and concerned when they see their human eating salt for the first time.

“I thought you couldn’t eat rocks.”

“I can eat these rocks.”

Cue cybertronian monching on a boulder with gift shop gems on the side as the human next to them eats rock candy and sugar crystals.

Cybertronian deciding to try bricks and cement and drywall and regretting it. A human waking up in the middle of the night and turning on the lights to see that there is a hole in their wall now.

“Are you eating my drywall?”

“I’m HUNGRY!”

“Is it…good at least?”

*coughs up a piece of drywall* “No.”

Needless to say they started keeping energon in the house after that and neither of them spoke of the incident again.

[anorlondo00]

Everyone gives the characters in their fic a little piece of themselves. I’ve read some really thoughtful versions of different one piece characters that warm my heart.

Me? If you’re not reading Ace’s dialogue with a slight NJ accent, you’re reading it wrong—

(jk you read it however u want)

Anyway here are my Ace/WB Pirates NJ/NY accent head cannons: (Modern AU)

Newgate and Ace have it the worst. They step anywhere outside the state and people can immediately tell where they’re from.

Ace CHEWS up the word coffee. It’s c-AWW-fee for him.

He’s entirely unaware of it. If anyone calls him out for the way he speaks, he simply has no idea what they’re talking about.

Marco moved around a lot in life. I don’t imagine he was born in the city. However, if he gets pissed off or wound up enough, the accent starts to come out.

Luffy imitating Ace’s voice is so cute it’ll send the WB crew into cardiac arrest.

[madame-fear]

Hello can I order CAPUCCINO (modernAU!lucerys x reader, headcanons about their have their first time and they get cought by Nyra 🙂‍↔️)

Sorry for my english <3

𐙚 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐁𝐘 𝐍𝐘𝐑𝐀 𝐃𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 | 𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍.ᐟ𝐋𝐔𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐂𝐒.

ೀ amira speaks.ᐟ : sweetie don’t you even worry about your English ! it’s not my first language either, yours is perfect ♡ thank you for ordering, hope you enjoy it ! ˗ˏˋ ꒰ summary : requests above. ♡

˗ˏˋ ꒰ genre : headcanons, some smut, fluff. ˗ˏˋ ꒰ pairing : Modern!Lucerys Velaryon x (fem!)Reader

WARNING.ᐟ THIS FIC CONTAINS ; mentions of smut, nsfw content. your first time together, a bit of vanilla sex. Luke is 18. you guys know the drill. *wink wink*

꒰ check out my 3k followers coffee shop event ! ꒱

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 Having known each other for years, that certain chemistry between Luke and you had always remained— to which, it was of no surprise to anyone when you began dating. Lots of “finally!” were heard during your dating announcement.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 What is of no surprise either, is Luke’s eternal shyness around you. Yes, he had grown more confident & less meek with the years, and the more time you spent together— but his timidness only intensified when you started your relationship.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 Soft lingering touches come and go with him. Delicate hand holding, affectionate kisses & caresses, tight embraces... And, often, you can feel his hand resting on your thigh, stroking your skin with his fingertips.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 Though, in the end, sweet boy will always remove his hand from there, and mutter a feeble “sorry”.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 Expect this to happen more than once. If he’s already shy doing sweet, cute little things with you, imagine him trying to go further in your relationship. Mostly, it’s not only because he’s too embarrassed to even bring up the topic of having intimacy together, but as well, Luke would be too frightened of accidentally making you feel uncomfortable.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐It’s not as you would feel uncomfortable, of course, but he wouldn’t want to risk it. As a young couple, both of you can’t help but feel slight awkwardness when it comes to more intimate topics.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 When the time finally came, it hadn’t really been spoken beforehand. The moment flowed rather smoothly, while you were both on his room sitting on his bed, and you were supposed to casually be talking together... But then, one kiss that was given to you, naturally lead to several more fervent kisses.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 One of his hands cupped your cheek, as the other one travelled to your waist, slipping his fingers beneath your shirt to caress your skin and explore it further. Tilting slightly his head at the same time you did, Luke deepened the kiss— groaning gently against your lips.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 Gently, you laid with your back against the bed, as his body pressed itself firmly against your own; managing to be on top of you. Occasionally, Luke pulled away from your lips briefly, allowing both of you to catch some air as you groaned and panted needily— before rapidly pressing your lips against his own once again.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 Being the most gentle, loving young boy ever, Luke would pause for a brief moment, pulling away from your lips. “Are you comfortable with this? Would you like to continue?” you’d hear him inquire in between pants— his lips travelling all across your neck, placing soft kisses.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 Your answer was an immediate yes without thinking twice, making a proud grin grow widely at the corner of his rosy lips. And so, the action began.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 Trembling hands lowered each other’s trousers, along underwear as you fervently kissed. Wetness dripped out of you leisurely, feeling the cold breeze of the atmosphere cause you slight shivers.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 The mere sight of your exposed wetness provoked him to get even harder, if it was any more possible at the current point— feeling his leaking tip poking against your aching entrance needily, as your legs interwined themselves on top of his back.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 Continuing to lock his lips with your own, faintly groaning against them as his hands firmly held your hips in place, Luke pushed himself gently inside of you; the tip of his shaft beginning to stretch your inner walls.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐Nibbling on your lower lip, holding back a loud groan from escaping your throat, one of your hands clawed it’s nails on his back, as the other one interwined it’s fingers in between messy strands of his hair.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 A tear managed to escape from your eye, initially feeling a slightly painful, burning sensation as Luke entered inside you carefully, but he kissed your tears away.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 His movements were slow and gentle, adapting to your comfort. And as soon as you had given him the green light to continue & thrust faster— he immediately complied to every single word of yours. The sensation of your inner walls tightening around his member was such a satisfying sensation, unlike any other he had experienced; helplessly increasing the pace in which he thrusted. But...

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 The door was widely opened in an abrupt manner, much to your surprise. “Oh my God, sorry,” you both would hear his mother mutter in surprise, causing your eyes to immediatly widen as you craned your head towards the door.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 Rhaenyra would immediatly look elsewhere, slightly closing further the door. She had forgotten to knock, so seeing both of you in such a compromising situation was rather... Shocking. “We’ll all need to have a talk about this downstairs, now.” she would say.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 She has never been much of a rigid, strict mother— but naturally, she cares for both of you and your safety. How could none of you asked her anything about intimacy?

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 Though, of course... Both of you were slightly timid around one another and about these certain topics, plus you were still young. Your hormones were all over the place— she suspected the moment hadn’t been spoken beforehand and it simply flowed naturally. Nyra was right.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 Much to your luck, after awkwardly getting interrupted and being forced to go downstairs to have a chat with Luke’s mother, Nyra didn’t entirely scold both of you, just a little bit — but overall, she simply inquired you two about why you hadn’t thought about bringing the topic up with her just in case, and gave you some advice for mutual protection.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 The only bad thing for you, though, was when you noticed that Jace had peeped enough into the conversation— sneering at the sight of your faces being covered in a crimson hue, only worsening your state after he teasing both of you.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 It had been a rather awkard, but very much needed conversation. None of you couldn’t deny that you actually managed to get some useful information from his mother— knowing how to protect yourself, dos and don’ts, etc.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 Foe both of you, it felt as if it had been a pretty embarrassing first time, yes. And perhaps it had been embarrassing— but nevertheless, one thing lead to another... With none of you scolded, and being allowed to have intimacy with each other as long as you took care of yourselves.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐 Perhaps, it hadn’t been so bad, after all... You just had to find alone time for yourselves, now.

◞ ꙳ ๋࣭ ⭑ ` taglist

@jacesvelaryons @jjamieberry @anemicroyalcore @countsmoon

@manuholland6 @keiratonks @kyuupidwrites @tchatso

@phantasyy @tasty-nutella @mstxdes @valeriecash @cookielovesbook-akie

@zzz000eee @bellarkeselection @feliuuuksks @visenya-reigned @maria699669

@mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @sweethoneyblossom1 @jamiemydeer @snowprincesa1

@aegonswife @cloveradora @rosieevan @eliseline @beebo86

[ipostmysimpingstuffanonymously]

Part 2. This time its the Tokyo Five (As I named them) Headcanons in the reblog tags appreciated