#shitty wizard king

[onesunofagun]

Drinking Ganondorf soup while I'm sick because it's good for my soul;

[maxdibert]

Sirius: Hey, Snivellus, is it true that not even your parents love you?

Severus: Well, they love me enough not to disown me.

[brujite-de-gulubu]

If there's one thing that bothers me of kglw fans are the metal fans who complain about there being a techno section, like, buddy, some fans don't like metal and still don't complain

[jacqcrisis]

Idea: kingdom in a magical land. The current king is married to a woman who hails from a different country that despises and punishes the use of magic, while his is encouraging about it, to the point he has a head royal wizard.

Ever since the queen came into the picture, the royal wizard isn't allowed to stay on the castle grounds as people in his position have for centuries. He cannot be within the same room as the king without an escort and the king is not allowed to visit his tower without one of the same. In fact, most interactions with the wizard must be done solely by the queen unless it is specifically about warfare or something to do with the border. If the king and the wizard have to meet, they must be in the company of someone, and are not even allowed an iota of privacy despite the sensitivity of their conversations.

Ask the wizard on his rounds through the kingdom, and he'll state the queen doesn't trust him. Such a pity, he says with a grimace before continuing on his way, basket full of foraged ingredients swinging from his arm. The commoners believe it is due to her home country, their distrust of magic, and their belief anyone who practices it is a snake despite the wizard being nothing but loved by all.

The servants and the advisors of the castle, however, have a different idea. Especially those who've known the king since he was a boy and the wizard when he was just and apprentice, the boys having basically grown up together on the castle grounds. Those who've known the two and seen the deep friendship they developed, those who've spent years whispering tales of late night visits and trips out alone together up until the betrothal to the current queen...

Well, they have a different theory why she glares at the wizard so intensely at every light touch he happens to brush upon her husband's royal hand during their meetings.

[petrodragonicapocalypse]

king gizzard in bristol, 30.05.24

[got-the-cheese-touch]

More Than a Name - prologue

Harry Potter x Sirius Black's Daughter!Reader

slowburn harry potter x reader

summary: your childhood is tragic. but then you meet Remus Lupin. and he helps you plant roots.

content: angst will turn into fluff, dw (wolfstar if you stare really hard at it for too long) try to find the all the young dudes reference.

a/n: okay, here's the prologue. i'm really nervous, i've never shared my writing so hopefully it's not shitty.

trigger warnings: this contains pretty heavy stuff!!! reader was told she had hallucinations. abuse in a hospital/foster care setting. mentions of her mistreatment. remus was not mentally well after sirius died, so there are some mental health issues implied. user was put on meds and therapy testing. its character development, y'all i swear i have a plan. no use of y/n, i describe the reader being small (only because she's a little kid rn)

word count: ~ 4k

ty to @thecutestgrotto for the dividers <3

Your childhood was one that was void of certainty. You existed through suitcases and trunks that were never unpacked. A bedroom never decorated. A plant with no roots can never truly grow. You yourself were the result of something short lived. A one night stand. Your mother was young when you were born. Too young to want to keep you. Your father? As tangible as the wind itself. You were told he was arrested before he could meet you, before he could take you in. (You’d learn later that he cried harder when he heard you were in the muggle foster system than when he learned his sentence for Azkaban. He knew what happened to young wizards on their own.) If only he could have protected you from the inexplicable events that wreaked mayhem wherever you went. 

Hospitals would diagnose you, medicate you, and try to pick your brain. Hippie foster families would try to meditate away the craziness in your mind. Hallucinations, they said. A teenage girl running straight into the brick wall dividing platforms at King’s Cross. A woman that became a cat. Owls flutter about during the day. They were all things that should’ve been cured by pills. Foster families were frightened by your condition. Hospitals were perplexed. Special homes wanted to cure you with alternative practice. (The smell of sage still makes you want to vomit.) 

But it all changed the day two, kind looking men came and visited you in the St. Bernadette’s Home for Mentally Troubled Youth. The last resort. You sat on the bed, waiting for a med call. Your legs kicked impatiently, your arms were scarred and you picked nervously at your skin; so far in your own haze that you didn’t see the door open. You had scars from injection treatment, punishment from teachers, from angry foster parents, or the cruelty of other children. You were unhealthy. Your hair was wild, so were your eyes. His eyes. It startled Remus when he saw just how much you resemble your father. That wildness in your eyes, the way you sat with a bouncing leg. He saw your scars and the bruises around your wrists from being roughed by medical staff. He wanted to throw up. 

The creak of the wooden floor startled you. Your eyes shot up, expecting to see the angry glare of a doctor. Instead, you saw two strangers. The first was an old man with a long white beard. You were never lucky enough or so well behaved that you got visits from Santa Claus but you guessed that this is what he’d look like. He was thinner than the magical man who delivered gifts, though. He smiled at you and tilted his head, correcting the small glasses he wore on his nose. He looked at you like he knew you all your life, like he had known you before you were born. Trailing a bit behind him was a taller, nervous looking man. His sweater was pushed to his elbows and you saw his skin was scarred like yours. But his were older, deeper. Like he had tried to claw his way out of his skin. He had curly hair and sharp eyes. Not unfriendly, you thought, but withered. Like he spent his whole life waiting for a rest that wouldn’t come. When the older man spoke your name, you almost didn’t recognize it. 

You hadn’t heard your name spoken so softly. It was foreign. 

He sat down next to you and shook your hand. It was the first touch that you felt in a long time that wasn’t punishing. 

“I am Albus Dumbledore.” He said with a smile, like he’s letting you in on a secret. “Do you know who I am, young lady?” he chuckled softly when you shook your head. “No? I figured.” 

“Sir, we don’t have much time.” The nervous man’s voice was rasping and cozy. Like a scratchy woolen blanket, you thought. 

“Yes, yes,” Dumbledore waved his hand dismissively, turning back to you “I’ve come to take you away from here, child. I’m terribly sorry I took so long. I’ve only just come to learn about your state here, please forgive me.”  He truly sounded regretful. Like he himself had scarred you. “How would you like a new school? A new place to live?”

“What- Take me away?” You said, scrambling up, panicked. They’d take you to another hospital, somewhere worse. You always went somewhere worse once people picked you up from your foster homes and schools. “No, no, please I’m doing better. I'll do the therapy, the- the testing. I can’t- please, please- I’ve been trying-” Your breath was shaky, pleading. The tall man with the sweater looked away.

Remus wanted to cry. He bit the inside of his cheek and tried to focus on anything except the fact that you were Sirius’s daughter. That you were so much like him. But you weren’t like the bright, lively boy whom he spent his youth with. You were like the dull, timid creature who survived hell in Grimmauld place. 

“I promise you, it will be better, child. I can’t explain much now but we know the place for you, alright dear? You’ll be hurt no longer, I swear it.” the old man held out a wrinkly pinky finger, adorned with rings. A promise. You didn’t trust him, but you knew that adults didn’t like when you didn’t follow what they said. You looped your finger around his and nodded. 

Minutes later, you were out of the gloomy brick building that was St. Bernadette’s. You packed up your suitcase (not much packing was needed) and you were out. Just like that. The two men had stepped away from you for a moment. The taller one was upset. The two talked in hushed voices. 

“Professor, I- I can’t. In my state? I’m not- not fit for a child, let alone Sirius’s child.” You didn’t know who Sirius was. 

“You’re the closest family she has now. Her and Harry, poor things.” You didn’t know a Harry either. “There will be help for you, Remus. When your condition flares up, she will be in good hands. Hagrid can watch her, so can Minerva. But we cannot have her in a Muggle’s care any longer. Look at the poor thing.” Dumbledore placed a hand on Remus’s shoulder. “I trust you with this Lupin; he would’ve trusted you too.” With that, Dumbledore strolled inside, to talk to the doctors, you assumed. 

You were sitting on the steps outside of the building as the old man talked with the doctor’s inside. Next to you, the tall man who had yet to speak to you sat on the step. You learned his name was Remus. His long legs stretched in front of him. He said your name, just as gently as Dumbledore had.

“How old are you, mate?” He asked, glancing over at you, moving your small suitcase out of the puddle you had put it down in. You thought for a moment.

“I’m six and a half.” You replied. You weren’t sure if you really had gained that half of a year but the number made you sound older, stronger. It seemed to take something out of Remus though. He ran a hand through his hair and let out a sigh. He looked tired again.

“Merlin, Padfoot, what have you done?” He said to himself. Six years. Six years since James and Lily. Six years since Sirius. Six years since that cowardly rat, Wormtail disappeared. Six years old. She's so young, he thought. The two of you sat in silence for a few moments. 

“I was a lot like you, you know.” He said, not making eye contact. “I went to a school like this one. Where people tried to help me but never could.” He pulled at a weed that sprouted between the cracks of the step. He turned it between his fingers before tossing it. 

“Is that where you got those scars?” You ask. Your voice was quiet but curious, you didn’t want to offend him.

“Some of them. But most of ‘em have faded.” He didn’t offer any more explanation than that. You didn’t pry. He pulled out his wallet. It contained a few bills you didn’t recognize, an old train ticket, a few coins, and a crumpled up photo. He slid out the page and unfolded it, holding it out for you to see. The bodies on the page seemed to move. You needed your medication, your hallucinations were vivid. Almost real. “Look here, kid.” He pointed to a figure “Here I am,” he slid his finger to another figure on the paper, the face too old and blurry to make out. “That there is Sirius. That’s your dad.” You stared at the shifting figure. You didn’t have the chance to say anything. Dumbledore walked outside, slipping what looked like a stick into a pocket of his robe. How silly, you thought. 

After a word with Remus, Dumbledore had seemingly vanished out of thin air and you walked hand in hand with the tall man, away from the terrible building. You got onto a train with him, still waiting for the moment you’d learn about the new trial they’d test on you or the new medicine that would make you stop hallucinating. You fell asleep curled up into the seat. Remus felt a tug at his ribs. You were too much like Sirius. 

When you woke up, you were in bed. It was small but it was more comfortable than any bed in any hospital you'd ever been in. When Remus checked in on you, he explained a few things. You were going to live with him for a while and that you should try to call this place home.

He made you toast. He spread out four different kinds of spread on each corner and cut it nicely. Moony toast, he called it. You ate it alongside him quietly. You’d be happy to stay with him if you could eat toast like this. 

“Are you my new dad?” You asked between bites. This made him flinch. He thought about what to say for a long time before he sighed. 

“Just eat your toast, mate.”

Life with Remus wasn’t easy, but it was happy. You finally had roots. You laughed with him and he’d patch up your knees when you fell. He’d disappear for a few days every month and he’d come back looking hurt but you got used to it. Besides, kind people watched you while he was gone. Sometimes, a cat would just sit on the window and watch you when you were alone. She would let you pet her while Remus went on day trips to get his own medication. You thought it was weird but you couldn’t complain.

For the first time, you had your own room. You decorated it with Remus, too. You folded paper and made little garlands. He gave you some posters from your dad. He gave you lots of Sirius’s stuff, in fact. Your favorite was an old worn leather jacket. It swallowed you up but you would use it as a blanket at night. You imagined your dad wearing it. It made Remus happy when you wore it. So you rarely took it off. You also got lots of photos. Boxes of them. Some were taken from Sirius’s camera, which Remus kept for himself. This time, when you saw some of these photos moving, you learned they weren’t hallucinations. 

When you were old enough, Dumbledore came back. You remembered his kindness so you trusted him fully when he explained to you about wizards and witches. You were sad when you learned of your father and his crimes. Remus tensed when Dumbledore explained this.

Dumbledore told you everything, not even leaving out Remus’s lycanthropy. You never felt frightened. You loved your Remus. (You finally understood why the people that looked after you in his absence called him Moony.) For the first time, you weren’t afraid when you learned about a new school for you. Hogwarts was a magical school. One without doctors or therapy trials. You were excited to go and you would count the days to receive your acceptance letter.

The only upsetting thing, surprisingly, was when you realized that you weren’t a psycho. 

That you never hallucinated or needed therapy. 

You didn’t need to go through all of that testing.

The homes, the abuse, the scars and bruises.

You bled for nothing.

You weren't a kid who needed to be hit, you just needed a parent.

When he saw the look on your face, Remus became upset at this. He didn't like to think about what you went through. Didn't like thinking about the time before you were a silly, crazy kid. When you were small and bruised and looked like a caged animal. Like a wild dog.

Remus wiped his cheek.

You were mad. Mad at your teachers and doctors and previous foster parents. You were mad at your dad. Very mad at your dad. He couldn’t be there for you so you suffered. It’s his fault you were a wizard, it was his blood that made you be this way. It's him who made you see these things, so you blamed him.

Remus told you stories about Sirius to try to reassure you about your father. That he was good. He was funny and bright and just like you. It didn’t help though. You still resented Sirius. Maybe he wasn’t a killer, but he wasn’t there for you like he should have been. You heard stories of his family and friends. How he was a prankster. You loved to hear stories about him. Not because of your affection for your father, though.

You liked to hear stories of Sirius because Remus was happier talking about the past. He looked younger and brighter, a weight lifted when he told his stories. He darkened when you asked where his friends were; where Lily and James were. (You got him to tell you the full story a year later. He was adamant that your father wasn’t a killer. You agreed. Sirius Black wasn't guilty. After all, your Moony wouldn’t speak so fondly of a murderer.)

When you turned eleven and your letter for Hogwarts finally came, you were sad to leave. You were given a magic wand from Dumbledore which you were very scared you were going to break. You got books and supplies, all from the headmaster. You even got a nice letter from the cat who would watch you sometimes while Remus was away. This confused you. Apparently she taught there. (How a cat could teach a class at a school, you had no idea) This made Remus chuckle. "Good old Minnie." He murmured. You had no clue who Minnie was.

You packed up your bags and trunk. (which took a lot longer than it had in the past) and you went with Remus to the famed platform where a train would take you away to Hogwarts. You were scared. You didn’t want to be sent away again. Remus was reassuring, holding your hand the whole time. Even as you heard the train approaching the station. You noticed the looks people gave the two of you.

People who knew the tragedy of The Marauders, people who thought they knew the loss. Remus shrugged it off. “Just people I haven’t seen in a while, kid. Don’t think too much about it.” 

  He gave you explicit instructions. He showed you a newspaper and pointed to the boy on the cover. He was scrawny and he wore wire framed glasses. He had stringy brown hair. Harry was his name and Remus told you to find him quickly and become his friend. He was James and Lily's son.

He said you’d do each other some good; being tied together by the fraying strings of a friendship so close, it may have been a family. Harry was alone and you understood being alone. 

The train whistled, signalling the need for students to board. You looked at Remus and you started to cry. He pulled you into a hug. You didn’t realize he was crying too until you felt the wetness of his tears against your shoulder. He sniffed as he held you tightly. He loved you. He was just as much your father as Sirius was.

As he held you, he thanked whatever was up in the universe for sending you to him. He was on the brink of giving up when Dumbledore urged him to come save you from the terrible institution. Your childlike chaos filled the halls of his home that were once stuffy with grief. He once prayed and wished that he could look into Sirius’s eyes again - to hear his laugh. You gave him that. 

“Okay, kid” He pulled back from you and put his hands on either side of your head, kissing your hair with his eyes shut. You cried, looking up at him. He clutched onto Sirius’s leather jacket, Pulling it over your robes. It was still big on you but it wasn’t blanket sized anymore. Merlin, he really didn’t want you to leave. 

“Will I ever see you again, Moony?” You sobbed, looking up at him. You were desperate not to leave. 

His heart cracked. You thought he was sending you away for good. He said your name with a sniff, hugging you as another tear slipped “Oh, my dear of course you will. You’ll be home for Christmas, I promise.” He looked at you with an intensity, memorizing your little face before he had to say goodbye. With one last tight hug and a kiss on the head, he sent you off and watched as you scuttled into the train. 

Once on board, you were met with so much energy. Older and younger kids in a bustle of movement. You had never seen so many children so happy. Sure, you met kids at your past institutions but they were never lively. All of them were as beaten down as you used to be. But these kids, all dressed in robes like your own were joyful. You walked nervously down the line of compartments, Remus’s words looping through your mind. Harry Potter, just find Harry. He’ll be your friend. It’s in your blood. 

You passed some menacing kids in dark robes with green. They were calling other kids on the train names that you didn’t understand but you decided that you wanted to stay under their radar. You saw a couple of teenagers bullying a younger boy holding a toad. You decided then that you didn’t like those people wearing green. They all seemed dreadful.

After you passed all the horrible green-robed students, you were frantic to find an empty compartment. All of these kids already had friends. Your only friend was Moony, you didn’t know the first thing about meeting other people. Eventually you found an empty compartment and you sat down alone. You held on tightly to the leather jacket over your robes, knuckles white as you watched the landscape pass.

You were used to the silence, the hum of the car relaxing. But you didn’t get much time to revel in your lonesome because the compartment opened and a small boy stepped in shyly. The one kid on the train that you knew. 

He was thin with unbrushed hair. He looked like the man in some of Sirius's polaroids, you thought. Except his eyes. They were a stunning green.

“Is it okay if I sit with you?” He asked, pushing up his glasses, the nosepiece held together with tape. You nodded. “I’m Harry. Harry Potter.” He held out his hand for you to shake, which you took, greeting him as he sat down. He was just as nervous as you. But he seemed happy, excited.

You were just dreading being away from the only home you’ve known.

“It’s nice to meet you,” You said after you introduced yourself. “I was told to try to find you.” Harry was worried. He thought you’d barrage him with questions about the Dark Lord or ask him confusing questions that he didn’t understand. But instead you smiled nervously. “Our dads were best mates when they were in school.” 

Harry smiled. 

AAAH, if you read this far thank you. i really think this could be a cool series and i like how i'm planning to write the characters.

please tell me if you like this and if I should write the next chapter that's been brewing in my mind cauldron.

peace and love <33

(likes are appreciated but i'll fall in love with you if you reblog)

[professor-geen-berries]

What reg's letter really said

Ladies, gentlemen, frogs, queers, queens, kings, monarchs, entities, wizards, gays, slays, faes, racecars, taco cats, Bob, those who transcend gender and material labels, ikea furniture, all of the above, and other, I present to you, the final form of regulus black's letter to the dark lord...

Please ignore the shittiness

Alternate version:

[wheneverfeasible]

So we all know the mechanic Eddie aus out there, all love a greasy dirty Eddie Munson in coveralls, but what about mechanic Steve?

Steve, who has a nice car, who learned how to take care of it himself. Steve who found that he was actually pretty good with his hands, and a knack for fixing things. He understands cars, likes to tinker with them in his spare time, even if he had to teach himself at first.

Eventually he sees a Help Wanted sign at the mechanic’s and…well, why not? He applies, and he’s inexperienced, but they hire him. He sweeps and keeps things clean and tidy at first, and then he learns some hands-on experience, moves up in the job, and eventually he becomes the guy everyone wants to work on their car.

When the owner retires, it’s Steve who takes over the place, making the shop his own and making certain that it’s a safe place in a town where safety isn’t always guaranteed. The kids he used to babysit who aren’t kids anymore all learn car basics, Steve making certain they’re not caught in a jam and unable to help themselves, especially the girls. In the window, a small picture of Dorothy from Wizard of Oz rests, letting those who know…know.

And then maybe one day rockstar Eddie Munson returns to the small town he blazed out of after finally graduating, packing his shit up and high tailing it outta there like the bats of hell were chasing him. Maybe he’s still driving a shitty van, or maybe he got something a little more fancy. Maybe fame and money got to him a little bit and he’s got some fancy high end sports car and a bit of a dick personality. And this car breaks down. Who does he have to call?

King Mechanics.

And Eddie is huffing and complaining at it all, at his car for crapping out, for being late to meet his uncle, for having to wait for some mechanic to show up. And one does, not too much later after that first annoyed phone call. And the mechanic has surprisingly well-styled hair, and a body firm with muscle, filling out those oil stained coveralls nicely, and maybe Eddie starts to sort of flirt with the guy, until he looks at him properly.

Until he sees it’s Steve fucking Harrington.

And maybe they don’t get along well at first, and it’s all Eddie’s fault really, who is now huffy and puffy about having to deal with King Steve. Steve, on the other hand, is nothing but polite and professional, maybe even friendly. He might have taken back the moniker of king for his shop, might have even taken it as his last name after his parents disowned him when he came out as queer, but he’s far from who he was in high school.

And honestly? Teasing Eddie is kind of fun. Watching him get flustered and annoyed is funny because enough time has passed that Steve is comfortable with who he is and everyone in town knows he’s turned over a new leaf and it’s just amusing watching Eddie not realizing this yet.

They didn’t really have the parts he needs to fix Eddie’s car at the moment, however, so he orders them in. Offers to give Eddie a ride to wherever he needs to go. Maybe even mentions Wayne, with whom he actually got kind of close with, and who sometimes comes around for a cold drink now that he’s retired and has more free time on hand.

Eddie is incensed Wayne never told him he was friendly with King Steve, but Wayne never cared much for gossip, and Steve has been a godsend more than once when Wayne’s old clunker died frequently.

And so Steve and Eddie are thrown together, and Eddie realizes that maybe there’s more to Steve than meets the eyes, and that’s even before he discovers the Dorothy in the window. Sadly, he doesn’t discover it until after he goes on some rant about how Steve is clearly homophobic, but Steve just stares at him amused because he hadn’t even known Eddie was gay back in high school.

Eventually, Eddie realizes he and Steve have more in common than he ever realized. Realizes he’s become the sort of people he always despised and was a bit of an ass. Steve meanwhile was already aware of his crush on Eddie and was merely waiting for the right time to make his move.

Anyways. I just like the idea of done-up Eddie, slick and fancy, and dirty grubby mechanic Steve.

hostage tag: @derythcorvinus

[radiance1]

Danny, has been turned into a cat.

Why? He may or may not have pissed off more than wizard after they failed to summon the ghost king successfully and gave them massive shit for it.

They wanted a powerful ghost tyrant, got a ghost prince with a shit eating grin instead.

Was it worth it? Yes, yes it was.

However, now he is stuck in this dimension, and wanders around experiencing the life of a street cat. Somehow, someway, he became the leader of a clan of cats, some of them surprisingly having powers, other not, but he never knew the life of a street cat was so...

Intense? Is probably the word.

Gang wars, negotiations, managing resources, taking care of the injured from said gang wars or the occasional shitty human, etc, etc. The resources like food weren't really a problem, his powers made it very easy to just, take whatever he wanted, how much he could take was a problem though, nothing a bag can't fix.

Some kind of villain (If what he heard was correct) stepped on his turf, and he couldn't have cared less what they were going to do, until some of the casualties involved his family of cats and, safe to say.

That villain did not expect to be beaten up by a superpowered cat. Much less robbed by other superpowered cats.

Of course, such an event wouldn't go unnoticed.

[url-is-url]

I've seen posts about John Constantine dating Vlad Masters/Plasmius, much to the disgust of the Ghost Zone generally and Danny specifically. And I can see this happening because John Constantine, chaotic disaster bi gutter wizard extraordinaire, is also an accomplished monsterfucker and would 100% be down to get down with a half ghost. Man's been with King Shark (excellent material to seach on AO3 btw 😳) he's not gonna flinch at Vlad, even if it is weird that he has the same last name as his sister's husband.

HOWEVER. Despite being a shitty gutter wizard with a bad habit of getting his associates gruesomely killed and therefore tries not to have associates, Constantine does have a soft spot for kids. He doesn't like when things disguise themselves as kids, he doesn't like when things hurt kids. Number one most reliable way to get John Constantine to stick his neck out? Endanger a child where he can see.

So when John finds out what Vlad has done to a literal fourteen year old child? And that he tried to outright kill the clone kid? NOPE. It is OVER, and Vlad gets to find out exactly how and why this shitty gutter wizard got such a badass name as Hellblazer.

[cbk1000]

Honestly, getting rude asks or comments on BBC Merlin fics is a trip because you're sending hate to people writing about King Arthur getting dicked by the wizard Merlin based on a shitty BBC family show that ended over a decade ago. Do you think we're capable of feeling shame?

[blueflyingturtleontheway]

I was supposed to be working on the next piece for the estewizard AU but the other worlds were fighting for my attention, so I thought why not include a bunch of them in the drawing. You can think of it as Mateo messing up a spell and accidentally bringing together the multiverse

Solo pictures and short introductions to the AUs under the cut

Puppet (Elena) AU

This AU diverges during Shuriki's seige of the palace. Elena's amulet is found by Esteban before Alacazar. Wanting to comfort the panicked boy at least a little, Alacazar explains that Elena isn't dead and they can easily free her if only they get Shuriki's wand... and that's when the devil spoken about shows up and strikes Alacazar down.

Elena is freed from the amulet by Shuriki and Esteban after a few weeks/months. She's brought to the palace and inofficially kept prisoner by the threat of hurting her family - her family in the painting of course, she's one step away from hurting Esteban herself at any given moment. At first she tries to rebel against Shuriki, free herself and her kingdom from this invader but soon she realises that she can actually achieve more by working with Shuriki rather than against her. Of course, only in minor things, only temporarily, only to keep her pleased so she doesn't harm Avalor more...

Estewizard AU

After 41 years Elena has become the second (or third, depending on if you ask her or Esteban) person in the kingdom after the queen herself. She's officially given the crown to Shuriki a long time ago and now focuses all her efforts on making sure the citizens of Avalor are safe and have nothing to worry about. It would be easier if her shitty cousin didn't try to undermine her efforts every step of the way.

A little glimpse on how much she's changed under Shuriki's influence could've been seen in this little ficlet.

The inciting incident is similar to the previous story, Esteban finds the amulet before Alacazar and learns from him that Elena is trapped inside, but here they both manage to escape from the palace. Esteban joins Alacazar on his journey, with time becoming his apprentice and then a full-fledged wizard and taking over the mission. He builds a whole legendary persona of the Last Wizard of Avalor, while in reality using the Amulet's powers more than his own. After Elena was freed he took over as the royal wizard, continuing his mentor's legacy and taking Mateo on as his apprentice.

(I explained the whole story in greater detail in various posts under the #estewizard au tag on my blog)

To King or not to King AU (tkon)

If the name of this AU reminded you of the To Queen or not to Queen episode, you'd be correct since this AU started with me being dissatisfied with that episode XD I was thinking how I would write a story where Elena grapples with the question if she'd be queen if she didn't have to and skipping now over all my musings on the episode, this story was born. Technically it's not an AU but a canon compliant post canon story where an alternate reality is created in universe.

A powerful wizard realised that the best way to take over the kingdom is to get rid of the royal family. But killing them or locking somewhere would inevitably lead to them seeking vengeance, no, to properly get rid of them she has to keep them happy - and separated. And so each member of the royal family had fake memories implemented and was put into a new life.

Here we see Francisco as a travelling musician/vigilante, accidentally passing by Avalor City. Only the wizard didn't consider that her spell didn't work properly on everyone and this Francisco doesn't have any memories prior to the morning he wakes up on the outskirts of the city, neither the fake nor the real ones.

(Also technically Elena and Esteban are more important figures in this story, but I didn't want to repeat characters)(and designing Francisco was a lot of fun.)

Guapoverse

One of my older stories and because of that probably marked by the most dramatism. One could argue whether it's an AU or simply a post canon story, since the plot takes off around 3 years after Coronation Day, but because of how many liberties I took with the story I prefer to call it the former.

As the general Gabe took it upon himself to improve safety in all of Avalor, not just the capital and to do that he sends his best men to all parts of the country to research the social situation, warn of possible dangers and set up new posts. During one such expedition, Rico stumbles upon a sketchy plot which could potentially put the whole kingdom in danger...

Having lost contact with one of his officers and not experienced in any matters that big yet, Gabe looks for guidance. With Francisco dead, most records of the military under Castillo rule lost and Shuriki's general having disappeared with all the most important archives soon after Elena's return, Gabe turns to the one man he knew to be a successful general - unfortunately that man is currently stuck in a magic sword and has been for the last few centuries.

They strike a deal, Gabe will share his body and Guapo will share his experience and if Gabe successfully brings Avalor out of this crisis, maybe Guapo can finally be released from his magical golden cage.

Now, the picture, after 5 more years the dark cloud of civil war is entirely in the past and Avalor is peaceful once more. As for Gabe, he got to settle down with the love of his life who finally accepted the whole possession deal and though there are still many years and many adventures before him, he can already safely say that he found he earned his star. And Guapo? With the doors to the Spirit World now open to him, he decided to stick around a little longer, he got attached to this kid (and someone has to take care of his fashion sense.)

A little snippet from the guapoverse has actually already appeared on tumblr here.

Neither of these stories really has a firm canon or much in terms of finished pieces but I still love these concepts and think they're great fun even just to muse over. Feel free to send an ask if anything piqued your interest and hey, maybe I'll even know what to answer! And if not we'll brainstorm together

[bibbityboppitybillyharvgrove]

Light My Love - Prologue - T.Nott

Series Summary - Follow Y/N as she navigated the wizarding world on her own, starting from her first year, all the way through to her seventh. As she falls in love and get her heart broken, how a certain friend is always there to mend her broken heart even though his is slowly getting broken in the process.

Chapter Summary - Y/N finally receives her Hogwarts letter, meeting with her friends in Diagon Alley and doing their shopping together. She is counting down the days until she finally gets to see Hogwarts and get herself sorted.

Pairings - Theo Nott x Fem!Reader(eventual)

Series Warnings - Blood purity, dark wizards, Reader is a descendant of Salazar Slytherin, pining, angst, reader will have some shitty boyfriends, Female Reader, use of Y/N

Chapter Warnings - Female Reader, use of Y/N, mentions of food and eating,

Author's Note - I wanted to do a retelling of the Harry Potter series with a pureblood Slytherin character so here it is! I will probably update this slow just like my Always There series so be patient with me! After a few posts I will make a masterlist and link it to all of my posts for this series as well as on my masterlist.

Word Count - 962

My full Masterlist

Series Masterlist

My requests are open!

Feedback is welcomed and encouraged!

Enjoy!

not my gif

not my gif

When the Hogwarts letter first got delivered, she wasn’t surprised. She was a pureblood, her parents being some of the most known people in the wizarding world. Her family didn’t have the best reputation, they were known followers of the dark lord, however neither of them were taken to Azkaban. They had influence in the wizarding world, much like the Malfoys. The first trip to Diagon Alley was exciting, Y/N running into a few first year students that she had met before at parties. 

She had ended up shopping the whole day with Draco, Theodore, Mattheo, Pansy and Astoria. The six of them chatted about their summers and how excited they were to go to Hogwarts. They all knew that they’d get sorted into Slytherin, getting themselves excited about learning more about magic than they had learned from their parents. Eventually they all parted ways, heading back to their families and returning home. Every one of them were counting down the days until September 1st.

Y/N was so excited the night before that she couldn’t even sleep, having already packed all of her things, she instead sat on her bed and read a book until it was time to leave. Once arriving at King's Cross Station, she excitedly led her parents to Platform 9 ¾ where she met up with all of her friends. She hugged both of her parents, kissing their cheeks goodbye before getting onto the train. They had taken over one of the compartments, lounging around as they talked excitedly about Hogwarts.

As her adrenaline had begun to wind down, her eyes got heavy, closing slowly before her head dropped onto the shoulder next to her. Theodore was a bit startled at first but then realized that it was just Y/N who had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He knew how she was, when she was excited she couldn’t sleep until her body caught up with her, only then she was able to fall asleep.

She had slept the whole train ride, no matter how loud the compartment got, only waking when Theo had gently shook her when they arrived at Hogsmeade's station. She let out a quiet yawn, her arms stretching above her head as she stood up. “Sorry for sleeping on you Theo. I guess I was just really tired,” She apologized.

“It’s okay, didn’t bother me. M’glad you slept a little bit before we got to Hogwarts. You would’ve fallen asleep at the table,” Theo joked, grabbing their suitcases from the top rack and leading the way out of the train. She tried to grab her suitcase from him but he was quick to snatch it away from her. “I don’t think so, principessa. A lady never carries her own bag.”

They were led by Hagrid to the boats which took them to the castle itself. She had only heard about the beauties of the castle but to actually witness it made her speechless. It was so much more beautiful than she imagined. It sat majestically on a hillside in the Highlands, surrounded by forests and water. She was in complete awe of the sight, taking in the beauty as they got closer. 

Actually getting into the castle made her feel so small, the ceilings were taller than she expected, looking up as the group of first years followed Professor McGonagall. She went through the sorting ceremony with them before leading them into the great hall. She was mystified by the candles and the ceiling, bumping into the boy in front of her due to the lack of her paying attention. “Sorry, Draco,” She said absentmindedly.

The boy just brushed it off as they waited to be called for their sorting. Draco being sorted into Slytherin before the hat had even touched his head. She was the last on out of all of her friends to get sorted, right after Theo. “Y/N Y/L/N,” McGonagall called her name. She took a breath before walking up to the stool, sitting down and getting the ancient hat placed on her head.

“Ahh, you’re another tough one! You could do great things in all of the houses! Shall we take your lineage into consideration? A descendant of Salazar Slytherin himself. I’ve got just the place for you,” The hat rambled, she smirked knowing where she was being sorted, “Better be Slytherin!”

She happily skipped her way over to the Slytherin table where all of her friends were sitting, finding her place between Mattheo and Theo. Both boys threw their arms around her, sitting as Dumbledore began his speech. The group waits until the feast is announced before digging in and trying a little bit of everything. All of them completely stuffed as they followed their prefect to the dungeons and the Slytherin common room. Instead of listening, she was more focused on watching the creatures of the Black Lake swim by the window. 

She walked towards the window, getting closer so she could see the creatures better. She hadn’t realized how long she was there for until Pansy tapped her shoulder, breaking her from her daze. “It’s almost midnight and we have class in the morning. Come to bed,” Pansy informed her.

“I hadn’t even noticed. Thank you Pans,” She smiled at her friend, taking her hand as the two of them walked together to their dorm. Their beds were right next to each other, her cat sleeping peacefully on her pillows. The two girls getting changed into their pajamas quickly before getting into bed. Y/N’s cat let out a protesting meow before crawling onto her chest and promptly falling asleep. Y/N following soon after, her dreams filled with all of the things she wished to do.

[sam-keeper]

The Visitor aka STRIDULUM (1979)

Ha ha yeah, wooo YEAH

da daaaaa dadadaDAA DAAA DAAAAAAA DADADAAAAA DADADADADA DA DAAAAA YEAH!!!!

This is the most prog rock movie I've ever seen in my life. This is spiritually being painted on the side of a van. Does it have a good plot that makes sense? I don't know, asshole, does Emerson Lake and Palmer's seminal classic Karn Evil 9 part 2 have a good plot that makes sense? I'm telling my kids The Visitor (1979) is Star Wars.

I noticed a pattern when looking at other reviews of this film: they fall back on comparisons, as a slight. Well, it's sort of The Omen, and it's sort of Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and it's sort of Carrie, and a little Battlestar Galactica and maybe The Birds... which all sounds very derivative, I suppose, until you actually a movie smashing all those things together, and realize, wait a minute, that's bonkers. It feels like critics grasp for these comparisons while foundering in The Visitor's psychedelic sea, desperate for a point of stability. None of these references offer stable landmarks, though, if you hope to predict where the film will veer next in its crazy pursuit of cool ideas and weird setpieces.

Not that the comparisons are totally off base, mind. This IS the story of Katy Collins, a Wicked Little Kid in the vein of the Omen's Damien or Carrie's... Carrie. It's just that this generic convention of the Bad Seed gets set up at the beginning of the film with a bizarre cosmic encounter between an old space wizard and an apparition of the devilish little girl in what looks like a blizzard on mars, followed by a whole ass monologue by "A Jesus Figure" about cosmic psychic spirits of good and evil dueling it out across the planets, delivered to a bunch of bald, white robed children. Hell yeah. But! But. Katy Collins is otherwise a classic, average evil psychic kid who kills people with telekinesis. And uses it to rig professional basketball matches for her shitty step dad, possibly at the behest of the satanic businessmen he answers to who are REALLY giving some serious drone hive vibes what with the way they all turn their heads at the same time. Oh and she's got a pet hawk that murders people at her behest. No, trust me though, it's a really derivative movie. Not like the movies we have now like uhhhh

[sweating] uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Better touchstones than typical blockbuster fare might be the mind-expanding chaos of paperback epics--Clive Barker's Great and Secret Show, King's Dark Tower, Morrison's The Invisibles. Here's some other fun facts: it was directed by Giulio Paradisi (it's a heavily italian production) but he directed it under the brilliant name "Michael J Paradise". The italian title was "Stridulum", which I guess is latin for something like a harsh or shrill sound or shriek, which fits the whole repeating War Between Birds motif and the use of bird cries in the soundtrack. Oh, and one of the guys playing basketball in the first scene with Katy is Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, actual famous athlete. It's sort of a bizarre and improbable movie!

But I don't think I'd be nearly so dazzled by all the crazy shit this film throws at the audience if not for Katy herself, played brilliantly by a young child star Paige Conner. She's written and performed in a way that suggests malice, yes, but a childish malice, a bit of a put-on, a belligerent front that gets more and more petulant and uncontrolled as John Huston as the space mystic Jerzy (yes) Colsowicz (get it) confronts her with the limits of her own powers. There's this sequence where Jerzy and Katy play pong against each other. Jerzy, smiling, accuses her cheating by speeding up the game with her powers. Katy, giggling genuinely, gloatingly informs him that no, she sped up the game using a switch on the game console. Later in the film she tries to drop a fire escape on his head, of course. In that conversation, though, there's this charming chemistry between them, the chemistry of a smart young person and an older adult willing to treat her, not as a peer exactly, but as a thinking being, not just a Thing to be smacked into shape. This dynamic is crucial to the climax of the film and its ultimate conviction that no matter how ghastly Katy is, there's more than just evil to her, which might not be the most seasonally horror-forward message but is honestly pretty damn refreshing. Like I don't know if The Visitor is as good a film as The Omen (ok, I know that obviously it's not) but on balance it's probably got its heart more in the right place. Perhaps notably along those lines, one of the horror subplots of The Omen involves possibility of a woman getting an abortion, whereas The Visitor explores the possibility of a woman being impregnated against her will. While it may lose out on form, The Visitor might just win the long game on its politics.

Also some shitty teens get thrown through a plate glass window, and there's a whole sequence where a big truck's lights are treated exactly like an approaching spacecraft, and it's awesome, I don't know what to tell you, I love this shit.

Read more horror reviews like this all season on my Patreon

[mushroomnoodlez]

Aaaaaaaaaaand I’m back to the Creature!Wizards theme XD

so how would Sphinx!IceKing react to being all preggos?? What would he look like?? How would Morrigan be different from “regular” Sphinx!Morri?? also pls draw Harpy!Betty again some time lol

-Creature!Anon

tw/cw for sfw and non kink mpreg

it'd take a while for him to notice, especially since as an immortal ancient creature (sphinx ice king is.. much more powerful than normal brand) the gestation period would be much longer, especially since harpy betty is a powerful wizard in her own right. powerful babies, they need to cook for a long time. he's still very much the type to feel the weight, feel the movements, and be like "huh. weird. anyways"

although, he WOULD notice, and so would magic betty. because ice sphinx uses his actual wings to fly, there would come a time where he just.. got too heavy for flight. and since he is constantly hungry and moody, betty would investigate. he is still delighted of course, but he seems to be on human brain with the pregnancy (he thinks he's only having one) and keeps making very shitty nests. he's also very cuddly and would demand a lot of attention, very needy (which is hard, because again, he is also very hungry, and betty needs to get an adequate amount of food for him)

he wouldn't be having seven in one go, he and betty would have two litters of 3 and 4.

here's the first litter btw, the main difference is morri has the apropriate amount of limbs and when they get older they'll have a lot more feathers due to their harpy heritage, and they have a brown coat.

[jag-rat]

Let's analyse the drow!

Quick history on the drow: The drow have been historically characterised as ‘evil’, especially in earlier editions their alignment was always on the evil spectrum. Even Drizzt Do’urden for example was a story that essentially circles around one ‘good’ drow who managed to rise above the rest of his kin and become ‘one of the good ones’. I think we also need to acknowledge that in the earlier editions drow definitely had racist implications around them intentionally or not. With the drow initially being described as ‘completely opal black aside from their white hair’ and essentially just existed as the ‘evil’ elf counterparts to their perfect blonde cousins. Now in recent years wizards of the coast have started to rectify this. As of right now Drow have been described as being more purplish grey in colour and are steering towards being implied not to be 'completely evil'. There's no doubt about it that the drow have had a rocky history and being overtly over-sexualisalised by the early writers definitely didn't help much either. But I still think there's something very interesting wedged into this unique race of elves. 

Lolth's role: Their main goddess is of course Lolth who even in modern renditions is always depicted as a chaotic evil spider demon. You could argue she’s currently the main reason why the surface folk still don’t like these dark elves. Even in Baldur's gate three which came out last year the writers make a point of emphasising that the ‘good drow’ are the ones choosing to rebel against this goddess. Now obviously this ‘good’ and ‘evil’ thing has always been a core part of DND, which makes sense given it was inspired by Tolkien who consistently made a point about there being two sides, good and evil. And it's still a very common theme in modern fantasy but I think when we look at Lolth and her connection to the drow from a more contextual standpoint this insistence of ‘evil’ isn’t nearly as interesting as exploring the greyer implications of how this Goddess came to be. Being viewed as ‘evil’ in the dnd universe is natural as Lolth is written as a chaotic evil being, encouraging violence, the sacrifice of first born sons, and general betrayal among your fellow drow isn’t very appealing. It's enough for anyone to wonder why the drow worship her in the first place if they aren’t evil. However I think it's also important to remember in real life when we create gods they almost always reflect our world, the good and the bad. Let's take Zeus for example, he was a pretty shitty guy, cheating on his wife, kidnapping women and punishing people for petty reasons. But he was still worshipped, he just reflected power and kinghood. And kings aren't perfect or benevolent, they can abuse their power and take what they want. People are complex and imperfect and so are their Gods. So a similar sort of argument could be made for Lolth. 

How the environment shapes a culture: The underdark is almost always described as a harsh environment, with creatures like hook horrors casually wandering around, mushrooms that explode when touched and let's be honest probably not a lot of food in a place with little sunlight or stability. Earthquakes happen often here killing many and flattening villages. The underdark is without a doubt an unpredictable chaotic and cruel hellscape where death is a guarantee and often occurs for little to no reason. It's not hard to imagine how competition could become everything here. That means that every creature living in the underdark, even every other drow clan is just another competitor for those sparse food and resources in an already barren and harsh climate. In an environment so unforgiving and competitive you can imagine how a Goddess such as Lolth would be worshipped. Because Lolth, like most Gods, reflects the environment her worshippers live in, she is characterised as being as cruel, violent and chaotic as the underdark is. And the teachings of violence, sacrifice and betrayal that she encourages of her followers might not actually be such a bad thing but rather the key to the drows continued long term survival in such an impossible climate. Traditions and culture almost always stem from a purpose, in this case how you survive. The cutthroat nature of drow culture mirrors the underdark in such a way that it ensures that the strongest survive (although it's important to note when I say ‘strongest’ I don't mean it in a literal sense but rather those who possess the qualities best suited for survival in that environment.) The strict hierarchical structure also ensures this, with female drow being favoured as they are naturally larger, stronger and more robust than their male counterparts. Which in itself is most likely because larger stronger women generally lead to a higher rate of survival in offspring especially in harsher conditions where a single misstep can be certain death. This physical and social difference lends itself to the spider metaphor of their goddess both literally and figuratively where spiders eat their males. But as unfair as this rigid hierarchy based on sex seems, it can be argued like many cultural phenomena to be a curated survival method in itself. After all you need fewer males than females to maintain a stable population which is an important detail when living somewhere with a natural lack of food. Even sacrificing your first newborn son as gruesome of a tradition as it is, in a way makes sense. It selectively ensures that the male population is lower meaning less overall resource demand in an already scarce environment will be lower while still being able to maintain some semblance of genetic diversity.

Solutions to these dilemmas?: Now of course it goes without saying all these things are horrible, sex selection, strict hierarchies and encouraged violence to decrease competition are all bad. However in an extreme dystopian sounding scenario such as this one it does at the very least make sense. And I think what we can gather from this is that despite all the terrible things, at least terrible to us living in the world we are, drow aren’t really evil. Not even their society despite its depiction is ‘evil’. Calling them evil is kind of like if lions from a zoo who get fed everyday started calling wild lions evil for eating zebras. We may not like it of course but it's not fair to call it evil, it’s survival. In the same way Lolth isn’t even an ‘evil’ Goddess, she's just a cruel and unfair one, made to reflect the natural violence of the underdark and the lived experiences of those worshipping her. When debating the drows morality it's just about context. It brings some questions to mind. Like if the ‘good drow’ drow who are against Lolth did manage to rebel and forcefully shift the culture of the drow to be more like the surface elves for example what would really happen? Would the drow stop all their violent habits and competitiveness to live happily ever after in a more equal world? Or when all of this ‘evil’ behaviour was ‘corrected’ would it lead to a ripple effect causing famine and death anyway? Who are the surface dwellers to determine what’s wrong and right when they’ve never had to survive in such an environment? Perhaps instead the culture of the drow would just naturally change over time anyways if the need for those more violent and extreme traditions subsided because there were more ways of accessing resources and building a stabler environment. Either way I don’t know the future of drow society, but what I do know is that it’s far more complex and grey than we give it credit for.