#ship that shit in spite of canon if anything

[aria-allium]

okay MAYBE last thing i'll say about the final chapter leaks on here but it is very interesting to me to see a lot of people (on twitter at least; not sure if this is really the case on here or even tiktok) say that they feel defeated and that they don't really want to ship bkdk now that it's not canon when it's like. babygirl it wasn't canon before and that wasn't stopping you. that's literally what fandom is about. maybe i'm too tumblr-brained considering the majority of my fandom experiences were on here before twitter but. idk it's just funny to me.

[quasi-normalcy]

Every "Nu Trek" (2017- ) Series Ranked from Worst to Best:

Very Short Treks (2023): There's really no words for just how terrible this series is. I mean, I know that it only barely counts because it's explicitly not canon and has a total combined run time of about 15 minutes, but *my god* is it bad! Only one of its episodes is remotely funny, and even that manages to feel like it's driven its main joke into the ground by the end of its 2-minute runtime. The only thing that I can say for it is that is that it gives me an easy, uncontroversial choice for worst Star Trek series, not only of the last 7 years, but of all time.

Picard (2020-2023): Listen; I know that this series is unpopular with the Tumblr Trek fandom, but it actually breaks my heart to have to put it so low on the list. It has, in my own opinion, the best dramatic acting of any Trek series and among the best directing, and almost every individual scene, in isolation, is compellingly watchable. More than that, it has fascinating worldbuilding choices, you can really *see* the passion of the writers for what they're creating (at least in the first and third seasons), and Agnes in particular is among my favourite characters in anything ever. It's got a lot of great moments, too! Picard and Seven bonding over shared Borg trauma; Soji uncovering the truth of her identity; Jurati hacking the Borg Queen's brain; Picard's final farewell to Q; Shaw's Wolf 359 monologue; Geordi's reunion with Data...I could go on. And yet, it just feels like so much *less* than the sum of its parts! Incredible ideas are introduced and then just shrugged off to pursue much more boring ones. Story arcs feel pointless if not actively offensive. Absolutely baffling writing choices are made throughout, with no indication as to why. And the nostalgia baiting , particularly in the final season, becomes so intense that it just chokes the plot to death. One comes away haunted by the feeling that this series should be so much better than it is.

Discovery (2017-2024): Really, this is two separate series: a twisty, grimdark, sci-fi war drama and a gentle queer coffeeshop AU about scientists who talk about their feelings. Both of them have their moments, but they each fall down in the same way: a focus on epic, high-stakes mystery box storytelling that undermines one's ability to really get invested in the characters, or even know who they are when they aren't off saving the universe. Without that, while I liked many of the characters and loved seeing them science the shit out of things using teamwork and the power of math, it's kind of difficult to get invested in this series one way or another. In spite of its absolutely gorgeous visuals, it comes off feeling weirdly...flat.

Short Treks (2018-2020): Not a lot to talk about here; just kind of an anthology series of short films adjacent to Discovery, Picard, and Strange New Worlds. Mostly they're varying shades of mediocre, but a few of them are as brilliant as any episode of Star Trek ever made, so the series gets to be relatively high on the list.

Strange New Worlds (2022- ): This is the first entry on this list that, in my opinion, belongs on the top shelf with some of the best of the older series. And it achieves it basically by adopting the same formula as the original series or the next generation--socially conscious planet-of-the-week adventures with enough wit, cleverness and joie-de-vivre to keep it interesting. I remember in 2017, there was plenty of discussion of how it's possible to update Star Trek's formula for prestige television; how funny that the solution turned out to be "don't change it at all, just give it modern special effects and actual character arcs." That said, the series is a bit *too* beholden to the original, with focus primarily on a bunch of characters who aren't allowed to grow or change too much because we already know how they'll turn out. It would be even better if it were about a new ship and a new crew full of nobodies who we can come to love. Which brings us to...

Lower Decks (2020-2024): Above, I said that Picard felt like it should have been so much better than it was. Lower Decks, frankly, should have been so much worse. How is an adult animated sitcom with Rick and Morty style animation and constant memberberries this freaking good!?! Every episode is a master class in efficient storytelling, with 22 minute runtimes often feeling like they contain as much story and character work as episodes twice as long. And the characters are incredible--like TOS and TNG, they feel almost archetypal, and even though you've never seen them before, they slide so seamlessly into the Star Trek universe that it's hard to believe that they weren't just *always* there; that there was ever a time when you could imagine the Star Trek universe without just intrinsically knowing that Tendi and Shaxs and Mariner were off somewhere in the background. It's greatest success though, the reason why it's comedy works when it really shouldn't, is that it's only *slightly* sillier than the serious series. What we end up with a fantastic series with an ethos that is pure Star Trek, and in fact, if I had written this list a month ago, it would certainly be in the #1 spot. However...

Prodigy (2021-2024?): The first season of Prodigy is...charming. It's got some fun characters, some spectacular visuals, some interesting premises. And if the plots tend to be a little too simplistic to be engaging to an adult, hey, it's a kids' show. It's good. Solid. Above average. And if I had only the first season to go on, it would probably be in third position on this list. But then, a few weeks ago, it went ahead and dropped the best season of Star Trek in a quarter-century, and I really...I just cannot recommend this series highly enough. The sheer, ambitious scope of the narrative; the arcs it puts its character through; the cleverness of the writing; the fricking GORGEOUSNESS of it! And it does all this while redeeming deeply unpopular characters and plot points from other series, in a way that never feels forced or pandering. Not only is it the best Star Trek series of the 21st century, it's one of the best children's animated series since AtLA. Go. Go! Watch it! Watch it now!

[olderthannetfic]

I am so mad and disappointed in my fandom’s discord. “Waaaah why does Famous Author get ALL the fanart and podfics and translations and inspired bys?? Her writing isn’t all that great and her smut is shit and she only writes boring normie tropes. Why do you wanna give her even more attention?” (I'm a translator)

Like I don’t knowwwww maybe because she replies to comments and comments on other peoples fics and art? And maintains a list of resources for our rather scattered canon? And has themed reclists on which I know that at least several of you fuckers have been featured? And has a “so you're new to —— fandom” primer that I know at least half of you have read? And is one of the organizers of the big ficwriting event? And has advanced social skills such as “be nice to strangers,” “deescalate situations” and even wow “remembering who you are and the things you shared with her”? And never tells anyone what to ship or what to draw and write? And has commissioned at least once a translation of some lengthy additional canon material that she then shared for free? All that not enough for you??

Is it really all that mysterious that people who Possess Skills would rather make stuff for a sociable community-oriented person who writes shit smut (according to you) and not for a miserable grouch like you??

And when I tried defending my translation of her fic (bad decision, I know) by saying that there are many fics I like, but what really inspires me to translate for her is her attitude, and also that I think it’s normal for people who are nice, sociable and active in fandom to make more connections and receive more attention, I got hit with “must be nice not to be neurodivergent” and “well ackstchxually some of us cannot be nice and sociable” and “I shouldn’t have to jump through hoops to get some attention!” ARE YOU LISTENING TO YOURSELVES. I didn’t reply anything to any of those people cos what’s there to say but BY GOD I am going to translate for Famous Author even harder now. All of her backlog. Start writing just so I can gift her an inspired by fic. Learn to draw chibis so I can make fanart for her. Spite. SPITE.

PS: If any of you are lurking here, I said what I said.

--

[lovemyromance]

Why can't people just read the books without projecting their own ship preferences ???

Literally just saw someone say that Feyre questioning "Why not make them mates" in regards to Elain & Azriel was because - and you might wanna sit down for this bc it's so ridiculous - apparently Feyre now had an underlying resentment for Lucien and wanted him to know what it feels like to not be around his mate

Aside from the fact that that entire statement makes zero sense - ??? Huh??

I see this kinda shit all the time. People simply deciding things in the books. Like when people say Azriel's shadows vanishing = bad (apparently this is ONLY bad when his shadows vanish around Elain - but not Feyre or casssian or the other IC, go figure)

I see people say Feyre claiming Elain would cling to Azriel for peace and quiet was actually a NEGATIVE connotation. I see people claiming Azriel thinking Elain's hair glittered like the sun at dawn means he doesn't give a shit about anything but her beauty. That Feyre saying "how handsome they'd be together" is Feyre just being spiteful to Lucien.

Like what? None of these arguments make sense. They go against what is written in canon. Yall know you can't just DECIDE a something is negative because it doesn't suit your headcanons right???

[italianpersonwithashippersheart]

Hey bestie, dropping by with a mea culpa. When Peaceful Property started, you expressed concern that GMMTV was inching toward a model of using bl pairs in shows that would avoid being explicitly gay but still draw on shipping fandom to be successful. Coming off The Trainee, which was not a bl but did have expIicitly queer characters and romance subplots, I wasn't sure the intentions were quite that dark for PP, but having now finished it and seen the way some in the production have interacted with shipper fans, I have to call it: you were right to be concerned. At no point was this show ever a bl and none of its principal characters are canonically queer, but they successfully leveraged the TayNew ship to have fans interacting with it as if it was in fact a gay love story, that idea and fan commentary was explicitly encouraged by the creators, and the show has been quite successful despite never actually delivering on all the TayNew bait. I'm definitely concerned that we might have somehow swung back around to queerbaiting being seen as acceptable and good, as long as it features popular branded pairs. I don't have any bigger thoughts to offer about how this should be addressed, but just wanted to come back and say you were valid for naming that!

Thank you. I didn't want to be correct. And I am still hoping to wrong about what this says about where GMMTV is going.

But I am not gonna lie, seeing the posts about the finale did regnite the massive fury I had at this project when it was first called a bromance. So I am going to use your ask as an opportunity to vent.

FOR THE RECORD: I am not mad at you, or at the people and mutual on my dash that have enjoyed the show and are claiming as gay out of spite. My anger is at GMMTV and at GMMTV alone.

THEY DID THIS SHIT TWICE ALREADY!!! Back to fucking back.

I know High Schoool Frenemy is being watched by like 5 people on tumblr. But it's doing well outside of tumblr. They are using bl style fanservice with the 2 main boys of that show. I have seen the shippy content and compilations along with the other bl couples. Not to mention people like Jojo saying those characters are the his new favorite ship on twitter.

AND I AM SO PISSED!!!!

I am glad you brought up TayNew because there is no doubt in my mind that they used TayNew for Peaceful Property as a test. They knew there could be backlash. They knew the bl fandom could have rioted. But they also knew that if it that rage would have been directed at TayNew not at the director, not the company but TAYNEW.

And I think TayNew knew this. Because they spend weeks on social media doing preintive damage control, I have seen the posts of them (or at least New) saying it wasn't going to be romantic. I don't think the two of them forgot how they were left to eat the shit alone over the bullshit backlash during the TayGun kiss situation with GMMTV doing fuck all for them.

And what pisses me off is that BL audience didn't even give a backlash. They eat that shit up like it was fucking icecream.

The BL audience is literally doing their job for them. They are taking a show with some gay subtext and running with it.

They are showing up for the fanservice (again broder audience outside of tumblr), and gleefully closing their eyes and ears and saying well I Think It's Gay.

What do you think Mega Corporation GMMTV is going to take from the success and no backlash? If the answear is anything but: We can produce half of the BLs as usual and make the rest Bromances, you have more faith in corporations then I do.

Because Bromances can be watched by non BL audiences as well. The BL niche is a big one, but it is still a niche.

And now they won't even have to bother inserting arguable quality gay commentary or struggles or homophobia. Or any gay kissing, no more workshops. No more worries about how effective these potential straight boys are going to be at playing gay. All they have to do is making them do fanservice, and they are great at training people for that. Or better yet, actually use one or two ships that have kissed before and done actual BLs.

Will they stop doing BL at all, obviously not, you gotta give the BL audience something to remind them they can still show boys kissing, and we have the Ex Morning and Jojo that will never actually stop making BLs and some gay shit. But if in the next line up we will more bromances, and eventually we get half BL and half bromances I wouldn't be surprised.

Of course maybe I am just pessimistic and cynical. Maybe the proto bdsm in the heart killers is enough to persuade people that I am totally wrong. I guess we will see about that.

Thanks again for the ask and the oppurtunity to vent a little. Again I don't fault anyone for enjoying this, it was design to get the BL audience watching.

I will personally be keeping with my own resolution and never watch another gmmtv show live ever again, maybe binge the few that sound interesting and that's it.

At least I can find comfort in the idea that that other companies do not have the same level of BIG cast of boys and big budget to do the same thing and follow in the bromance trend.

[mechina]

At the end of the day, your dislikes are not my problem. If you don’t like Charlastor, okay, but why are you SO pressed when others do?

“You’re taking away their sexuality!” Charlie is bi and it was not confirmed that Alastor is aro. He is asexual, but that does not mean he can’t be in a relationship? **Edit: Alastor is aro, but my point still stands lmao.**

“You’re taking away representation!” First of all, I can’t take anything away if it’s fanon. FANON. Charlie is canonically with a woman, and good for her, but I have FANON choices I can do without your permission? I can’t change canon. At the end of the day, it’s not my show lmao.

“Charlastor is dead! Take that! We won!” Want a cookie? Charlastor was never going to be canon to begin with, so what did you win? It’s also very much alive. I’ve seen people joining to spite ship because you sound so stupid. If Viv did this on purpose (rumors, but I’m not 100% sure of its credibility), then she doesn’t care about you either. She isn’t going to thank some user for bashing the ship. And I’ll lay my head down peacefully even with you screaming about how much you hate it because no one cares.

“Charlie is with Vaggie!” Again, good for her. I do not have to ship canon just because it is. Ship and let ship? It’s not THAT serious. If you’re making this your whole personality then you don’t like chaggie because it’s representation, you like it to bash Charlastor and shit on the people who like it.

“Alastor thinks of Charlie as a daughter. It’s incest!” Y’all are stupid. They aren’t related. 😂😂 and don’t take him seriously. As soon as he noticed it bothered Lucifer that he was close to Charlie, his entire portion of the song was to piss him off. Now replace dad with mentor and that’s something I can see. Charlie looks up to him, but I do not believe for a second she sees him as a father figure. Mentor, yes. Dad, no. She has one, she doesn’t need Alastor to fill that role.

Honestly, it’s JUST a ship of two characters. We are not harming you with it. Block the tags and cater to YOUR experience on the web. We’re going to do our own thing regardless if you like it or not.

“You’ll have to try harder than that, old pal!” Words I’m going to live by.

[eddiediazismyhusband]

just a caual reminder that eddie does not need to kiss, date, or sleep with anyone other than buck to make his queerness any more valid

queer characters don’t need to hookup a bunch of times and date around before settling down because queer people irl don’t have to do that either

there are other ways a character can “let loose” and blow off steam than just throwing them into a hookup plotline, and doing so with eddie would just rehash the buck 1.0 plotline and would be lazy writing

not to mention it being yet another roadblock for buddie canon

like ik it can be frustrating to see the writers refusing to give eddie any care within the story and giving him some sort of happy arc, but that doesn’t mean that the only way he can be happy is by simply dating a man… just like how bt isnt narratively satisfying, eddie dating a random man isn’t going to be narratively satisfying either… i want queer eddie as much as the next person and honestly, if it had been a few seasons ago maybe i wouldn’t be as apprehensive to this kind of arc, but this show isn’t going to last forever… i don’t want them to keep dragging buddie out convoluting the plot by bringing in more li’s for both of them just because the fans are “okay with stepping stone relationships”

we’re entering season 8. we’re entering the 7th year of buddie being a ship. we don’t have time nor need for stepping stone relationships anymore. i know that jealousy and mutual pining arcs are enjoyable, but atp anything prolonging them getting together is just risking us never getting buddie… i don’t want a repeat of s6 where they wind up with shit engame li’s bc they wasted too much damn time dragging their feet and giving them these rando love interests

we also run the risk of fans jumping ship again if eddie were to get a male li that isn’t buck because there are so many people out there who (like w bt) just wanna see eddie kiss a man and once they get that, they’ll ditch the buddie ship, and we’ll once again find ourselves struggling to stay afloat

yes ik this show is a drama, ik slowburns thrive off drama, but this slowburn has been building since s3 (arguably s2 for some of us) it has been beyond enough time for them to keep it a slowburn; they need to actually go through with it now rather than continuing to bait us bc Ryan and Oliver both deserve better storylines to play than that.

i am obviously trying to remain cautious and will not trust the writers to handle things well until they do, but it doesn’t help our cause to be suggesting storylines this late in the game that will only serve to convolute the plot even more than it already is at this point. these tropes are amazing in fics that have no set end date, but 9-1-1 as a show is not going to run forever— we don’t even know if we are even going to get a 9th season yet. This could very well be our last opportunity to get buddie canon, and cheering on plotlines that would push buddie canon even further back on the roster is only going to dilute our chances even more.

i say this with love, not with spite, but i have seen a lot of people wishing for/posting about how they hope to see these storylines play out and i’m here to say we are not in a position for any of these anymore, and that’s just the unfortunate reality of a show entering its 8th season in a television environment where shows are lucky to get past 2 or 3 seasons.

[derseprinceoftbd]

This is a rant I've been meaning to get off my chest for a while, but the conception on Tumblr, AO3, and sometimes here, that Jake is capable of "teasing" Dirk, and all that implies, irks me deeply.

Let me be clear: Jake English is not self-aware. He, in Canon, never does anything resembling self-awareness, maturity, emotional boldness, or anything else that requires a spinal column. This includes apologizing to anyone, talking about his problems in a way that doesn't end up being selfish, teasing someone, particularly Dirk, or transitioning. (I maintain this especially; he does not have the boldness, maturity, self-awareness, or nerve to have transitioned his gender presentation pre-Act-6.)

He has an *understanding* of pranks, if we allow Paradox Space as evidence, but that's it. He makes *Tavros* look like a fully-roleplayed-into-Class-shift Lord.

You know what the popular Fandom perception of Jake, as a member of a DirkJake relationship, lines up with? *John*, before his main writing trait became a deep, all-consuming depression and repression thing.

Like, John’s original Act 5 and earlier characterization before his underreaction to his dad's death and the spiral that sent him down towards his current "transition would not save her" characterization is what people use for Jake (charming, funny, actually seems to have his shit together enough to maybe be transmasc (man, remember *transmasc John*?), and, most importantly, seemingly capable of dealing with the levels of vaguely sociopathic bullshit that an even-close-to-accurate Dirk would throw at him), but DirkJohn/JohnDirk is less popular, to the point of not having a consensus order, simply because Jake and Dirk are *coded* as liking each other.

I think a lot of people miss that DirkJake is fundamentally the Equius of relationships; Hussie isn't one of those writers that feels pride in finding pathos in the ridiculous, but spiteful glee and humor. He genuinely does not care if he accidentally touches people's hearts in a way that doesn't involve Dave, or *maybe* Vriska. The fact is, DirkJake is a joke relationship, which is spelled out very clearly in their conversation.

You know, their conversation. The one they have together. The time we see someone who is actual Dirk Strider, not Hal pretending, not Aranea co-opting a memory, not a Brain Ghost, talking to Jake. That time.

Yeah, that doesn't exist. DirkJohn has as much conversational basis as DirkJake.

Edit:

LESS! GAME OVER! "I FAILED"! LESS!!!

DirkJake is a joke, a long, subtle one being made on everyone who saw Dirk's affections and immediately wanted him to get together with his disabled(?) ongoing harassment victim. Hussie was having a lot of fun making it seem like Jake found it important in the Masterpiece, I'll tell you that much.

@thelifetimechannel/@geejaysmith/@clonerightsagenda did magnificently wringing blood from this stone, I really do mean that, their Alphas are genuinely written better than Canon for 3/4, but that's all it ever was; every DirkJake writer is the YouTube comments under [this video](https://youtu.be/B7bpv5xyrOY?si=wYTCFDHM5ZzOY8fp) saying Equius could ever have been more than what he was.

TL:DR

1, Jake is pathetic, and we should remember this.

2, Hussie is a jackass who hates us one and all for the sin of caring and everything he has done with this franchise since maybe EOY2 has had an ulterior motive, and we should remember this.

3, Most people who write longfics set in SBURBless AUs, whether normalcy or fantasy, and want to ship Dirk and Jake should really be shipping Dirk with John, since now that history of Dirk-Jake interactions that justifies the ship in-Universe is gone at the Author's leasure, John would have the dynamic they want, and they talk *exactly as much*.

4, If you want to trans Jake, [there's a sensible way to do that](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8619856), but there's no in-character way to make him transmasc.

5, Read DDOTA, I beseecheth of you. Like yeah the Striders are emotional to a kinda weird degree but apart from that they really got everyone down right.

[averyangrypossum]

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce the

Flowerbroadcast AU!

Based on the two drawings I did of a fankid for the ship radiostatic.

The full-body one

And the one with both Vox and her

And now, I’m gonna tell you all about it and exactly who the fuck this little kid is.

Lotus is the daughter of Vox (as you can tell) and Alastor and is six years old. She was created shortly after Vox and Al broke up, oh yeah I should probably talk about their relationship status. Vox and Alastor, unlike in canon, weren’t only close friends but were dating at some point, mostly because Alastor wanted to manipulate Vox’s feelings to where he’d be more compilable but accidentally took it too far, and since Vox is a piss baby Alastor decided to entertain Vox for a while.

Was this relationship healthy?

NO!

Would Vox say these were the best years of his afterlife?

Yeah.

But anyways, in this au when Vox asks Alastor to “join his team” he was actually proposing and Alastor finally realized,

“Shit maybe this has gone out of hand” and breaks it off with Vox which leaves Vox heartbroken and with an incel breakdown. Now instead of trying to move the fuck on, he has our little darling Lotus, who he has trying to fill the hole that Alastor left.

So obviously having a child for that reason isn’t going to make you a good parent.

Lotus’ relationship with the Vees are as follows in the particular order.

1 Velvette: She does Lotus’s hair everyday and picks out outfits for her to post on her social media before Lotus immediately undos everything that Velvette does and just goes for pigtails and her nightgown. Velvette has wine aunt energy and is probably the only one of the Vees to know how to talk and get through to Lotus.

2 Valentino: Surprising I know, but Lotus doesn’t know what he does to his workers, she knows what he does for work but grew up with thinking that was just something normal since Valentino was never hush hush about his job around her much to Vox’s dismay. Valentino isn’t a big fan of children and doesn’t hang around her often, but sometimes he’ll draw along side her while bitching about a particular show she’s watching even though it’s literally made for kids.

3 Vox: Wow, how bad do you have to fuck up for a pimp who hardly spends time with her to be ranked higher than her own father?? Vox, despite making the conscious decision to have her, he isn’t around like at all. Hes a workaholic through and through, and mostly leaves her with nannies and Velvette. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t love her. Au contraire he loves her with all his heart and soul. Will give her anything except quality time. He uses her more of an accessory than a child.

Now how exactly Lotus was made is up to you.

A robotic creation Vox made? Sure!

Some voodoo magic shit? Yeah!

Some weird magic thing where she kinda just poofed into existence? Why not!

Mpreg? I mean, do what you wanna do ig?

Cuz it really doesn’t matter!

This whole au starts with Lotus running away from the Vee tower to explore hell since she's basically Rapunzel. She gets lost and terrorized by sinners until our deer Alastor rescues her. Seeing his chance to promote the hotel he takes her there where she is offered to stay there by Charlie when Lotus complains about how bad her dad is. She graciously accepts because shes only six but is going through her “My dad hates me and I hate him” era. Which I mean…I would get that impression too if I didn’t see my dad that much.

Wait my dad lives across the country…don't talk to me rn I’m busy dyeing my hair black and becoming emo 🖤

But anyways she stays there while Vox is loosing his fucking mind, and becoming more mentally unstable.

Meanwhile! She's having the time of her life with the hotel's residents and a new father figure who treats her well and pays attention to her! Alastor! Now Al doesn’t know she is his kid, but that doesn't stop him from being a better dad than Vox out of spite!

Anyways, thats all I have, for now! Stay tuned my friends~

[crushedsweets]

what is the relationship between Nina and Toby? and what’s Clocky’s reaction to it

OK SO. in Creeped(my au) "canon" they arent romantic or anything, the Ninatoby ship art i posted is just cuz i like the ship LOL ...

BUUUT in my AU, they are really close and have a pretty confusing, but mostly positive, friendship! Honestly a lot of this is me sorta just rambling off concepts about them in my AU but. What am i if not off topic. i wrote liek 35898 pages

to begin, Toby met Nina through Jeff. Jeff would be hanging around the area, arm around Nina, showing her off like she's some trophy. so toby didnt really think much of her at first, just one of jeffs chicks - not really her own person. He’d not think twice when jeff would tell her to get the guys a beer or tell her to fix her clothes or generally being shitty to her - until jeff raises his voice at Nina, then toby is more likely to Sit up and watch a bit more carefully cuz he doesnt know what to expect and hes not gonna just watch jeff scream at her (although she’d be quick to scream back). 

I like to think that’d be one of the tuning moments for their relationship, jeff starts berating nina and standing up, toby perks up and is getting ready to intervene cuz it brings back bad memories, and nina starts screaming back cuz she DGAF. she dgaf. So toby would be like oh. Okay. so she does think for herself. an d the next time jeff tells nina to go get them beers, toby might be like “nah its fine i can get my own” rather than nodding along. FIX HIS BRAIN A LITTLE BIT. 

BUT because nina was coworkers with Natalie for a while(and friends), he eventually started hanging around nina more often casually. it sounds shitty but he used her for ego boosts cuz she was so quick to fawn over him ("you're so strong!! oh, that scar is so cool! i looove this haircut on you toby, let me touch!"). And i think its pretty nice for both of them, sort of passive bonding? Cuz toby grew up with a sister and a mom always smothering him and hugging him and lyra would ask him to braid her hair, and nina is just filled to the brim with affection spilling over in everything she does. MUTUALISTIC RELATIONSHIP. THEYRE THE ALIGATOR AND BIRD

AND they're both naturally pretty touchy people (toby wrapping his arms around shoulders, patting backs, picking people up, messing with hair. nina leaning on people, holding hands, tracing shapes, sitting on laps). i like to think that was one of the things that reaaaaallly got on jeffs nerves, which is part of the reason jeff and nina become so toxic with nonstop cheating on eachother, screaming matches, and his eventual stabbing. and part of why jeff and toby went from being pretty good buddies, to getting physically violent with eachother at the drop of the hat. And nina is really, really appreciative to have someone do that for her - cuz she’s the type to sit on the fence between friends, play both sides, not be assertive about who was right/wrong, etc and she’s used to everyone around her brushing off her feelings and how she’s treated. so toby firmly being like “he hurt you, i care about you, so i dont fuck with him anymore. Simple” would make her feel very like Wow. i feel important.

HOWEVER, they’re both really emotional, and really, really sensitive. It presents different, with ninas emotions being more like a breaking dam of tears and screaming and drowning in it, while toby is explosive shouting and burning and aggressive and just wants to suffocate the fire. Toby is a hypocrite though, and views Nina’s emotions as weak and pathetic just cuz she’ll cry and babble. He doesnt quite grasp that theyre both sensitive, he just validates his own anger as a ‘useful’ emotion that ‘gets shit done’ while nina is a whining babbling mess who wallows in it… AND HE’LL TELL HER THAT LMAAAOOO. And nina is mean and spiteful and will be crying while going off about how he’s a virgin loser little bitch with mommy and daddy issues and this and that and toby would just be like You fucking know what. Get the fuck out nina. (I DREW A COMIC OF THIS I WANNA REDRAW IT SOON). But nina will text toby and the convo sorta goes. “3: r u mad at meee” “ya” “v_v dont be mad…” “why” “cuz >_< i just bought pink lemonade Smirnoff and i got nobody 2 drink it with” “come over” then they dont actually dissect why they blew up on eachother. 

WHICH BRINGS ME TO YOUR LAST QUESTION ON CLOCKY…

She dgaf. Ok im joking. Im assuming you specified clocky so i can talk about if it upsets clocky.

She gets worried, actually. I dont want it to be interpreted as romantic jealousy, but she sees the way they connect on touch, being emotional, opening up, etc - meanwhile she’s sort of stuck in the middle of them and she struggles to open up, she bottles things up, she can be cold and quiet and distant. She’ll ignore their texts for days because she’s just not doing well and is trying to focus really hard on work(and her whole “getting better” thing), only to find out that instead of them harassing her like usual, they just hang out together and wait until she’s ready to reach out. And something about that irritates her. Cuz they were HER friends first 😒…LOL. But another part of her worry is the fact that they are both so emotional and they feed into eachother’s bad habits and is pretty blunt with telling them that.

BUT ASIDE FROM THAT!! She does love that her friends get along. It feels really good for her to have a close-knit group of friends who really care about her. Nina and toby will both make a shitty cake decorated in an ungodly amount of sprinkles and bring it to her. They’ll put her in a groupchat and blow it up with useless conversations. Theyll buy her concert tickets and make her come along. They get her out and are good for her in their own ways, even if theyre all very flawed. and she's not the type to give a shit about romantic jealousy

[cheesyv]

Rating Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss Ships

——————

I was originally going to post 2 different things (one for HH & another for HB) but I decided I would bring them together cause there are some ships involving characters from both. So This is gonna be a long behind post :]

-

This should be obvious but for those who might get confused about the colors:

Green - For the higher rated ships. I love or think that ship could work

Orange- For both high and low rated ships. I’m on the fence for that ship. So I could have easily given it a lower or higher rating

Red - For lower rated ships. I hate or think that ship couldn’t work

-

——————

HH

Alastor/Lucifer 10/10 I’m a sucker for enemies to lovers tropes 😭 like I know it’s most likely not going to be canon (and let’s bfr a lot of our ships won’t be) but that’s part of the fun. I find the fics and art hilarious and absolutely adorable. I think the cutest thing is them being in a QPR 🤭

Husk/Angel 10/10 They are cute. Husk and Angel talking, bonding and all that fun crap lol

Alastor/Rosie 10/10 I ABSOLUTELY LOVE the idea of them being in a QPR.

Charlie/Vaggie 9/10 They are so cute and supportive, and fit well together

Vox/Lucifer/Alastor 8/10 Lucifer and Vox become Alastor’s simps, and pull him into all their crazy ‘adventures’ 💀 They start dating but Alastor doesn’t fully comprehend it. I find it kinda funny to imagine Lucifer & Vox thinking they’re all dating but that doesn’t even pop up in Al’s head. (Let’s be for real, Alastor is just barely holding himself together and “tolerating” them and maybe eventually growing fond of them)

Lucifer/Vox 7/10 I like the idea of them partnering together (in fake dating or partnership in hating and fighting Al) to spite Alastor.

Alastor/Vox 6/10 I’m not the biggest fan of this ship. I enjoy the art I see and find some of the comics funny/cute but truly my heart will always belong to radioapple 😔

Vox/Val 10/10 They are most likely already sleeping together and act like a old married couple in the show, just work on Vox’s obsession with Alastor (and Val’s character but you know that probably ain’t happening) and BOOM could be good (tho I think Val finds amusement in Vox’s obsession so idk).

Val/Vox/Velvette 3/10 Don’t really see them all actually dating or being more than business partners/family.

Adam/Lucifer 4/10 Yeah that would totally work 💀 cause Lucifer totally didn’t fuck both of his wifes and I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried it on Adam too. Plus I feel like there would be alot of beef between them. (Adam did attack the hotel and Charlie, they might have some more history then just wife stealing cause you know heaven/earth stuff) But i must admit I like the fan art of them.

Alastor/Angel 4/10 I just don’t like the idea of them together very much. 🤷‍♀️ no specific reason honestly, I never liked the ship even during the plot

Val/Angel 1/10 You understand. Val is shit and treats Angel like he’s shit.

Lucifer/Lilith 7/10 Im suspicious of Lilith. 🤨 I really hope she actually cares about her family 😔 I like seeing them in the garden of Eden and raising Charlie like a happy family but idk, something is off about her. I also love the angst 🤭

Rosie/Lilith 6/10 Is kinda cute but I don’t know enough about both characters (especially Lilith). 🧐 If they are even actually who they say they are (theory post) 🧐

Adam/Lute 8/10 I like this ship, they obviously have history and some sort of chemistry. The relationship might be alittle unhealthy tho. I also like to think of them in a father/daughter or mentor/mentee type relationship.

Cherri/SirPentious 7/10 Sir Pentious likes it and deserves love. I’m a little fiffy on this one cause of Cherri. But she can definitely gain genuine feelings (too bad he’s not within her reach anymore 😏) so I’ll give her some slack lol

Zestial/Carmilla 8/10 I ship it. They obviously have some sort of history and are friends.

Charlie/Emily 1/10 They’re so alike that I see them more as sisters than anything.

Charlie/Alastor ?/10 I don’t know anymore 😭 I used to not like it but now this ship is slowly growing on me. Especially after reading this. <- That post just makes sense and honestly I wouldn’t be mad if it was canon. It’s making me question “everything” lol

Husk/Lucifer 8/10 I like it as a platonic ship. I think they be good friends and can easily talk to each other. I really like @drazhaq’s comics of Lucifer cuddling Husk and him not being overwhelmed talking to husk.

Husk/Alastor 3/10 Not a big fan, I prefer Huskerdust

Cherri/Angel 2/10 They are best friends and I don’t think Cherri would be a good partner for Angel. Plus he’s gay.

——————

HB

Striker/Chaz 6/10 Honestly? They both got some sex drive in them lol. Wouldn’t be to bad if Chaz wasn’t dead ☠️

Chaz/Moxxie/Millie 1/10 I don’t like it. You can tell Moxxie and Millie didn’t like it either

Chaz/Blitzo 3/10 wouldn’t have worked out 🤷‍♀️ plus Blitz ?loves (?that’s what imma use lol) Moxxie and Millie to much to go dating someone who’s hated by them and (I must add) a lousy fuck/fucker.

Martha/Mayberry 7/10 😭 They realized the man wasn’t worth it so they hooked up instead. I’m not against it 🙌 if they got over their differences then sure, go for it ladies.

Stolas/Blitzo 7/10 ugh 😩 Honestly hate the way things are going and how they treat each other (specially Blitz). If they can’t figure it out, it’d be better to just split up and go on their separate ways. But I do want them to work out their issues and become happy together. They are so cute together when they ain’t doing the toxic tango.

Loona/Octavia 2/10 See them more as siblings, friends or mentor/mentee

Stolas/Stella 1/10 Hell no :)

Stolas/Striker 1/10 Striker was literally paid to kill Stolas. Even tho Stolas finds him hot doesn’t mean it’d work out lol.

Stella/Striker 4/10 They can go fuck off with each other :)

Fizzaroli/Blitz 10/10 As a romantic ship, hell no. As a platonic ship, hell yes. I’m glad they made up and are friends again, they are such a good duo :) (Tho I won’t complain if there’s some platonic make out sessions between the two /J)

Fizzarolli/Ozzie 10/10 They are ADORABLE together 😭 They way Ozzie is with Fizz makes me happy.

Moxxie/Millie 10/10 They are perfect for each other. If you ship one of these characters with any one else, how dare you 😠

Verosika/Blitzo 3/10 Obviously Blitz doesn’t like her like that and Verosika doesn’t anymore. They had their struggles and I’m glad in the end it was somewhat “sort out”. I hope they can be friends at least, if not that’s understandable.

Mammon/Fizzarolli 2/10 Mammon’s true love is money 🤑 and he treated Fizz like shit just to get more.

Stolas/DudeThatAskedHimToDance 6/10 Ah. I think it’s cute and could be healthier and less harming than the relationship Stolas has with Blitz. If Stoliz doesn’t work out then this could be an option. 🤷‍♀️

Loona/Vortex 7/10 I think they’d be cute together but you know he’s already in a relationship with bee

——————

HH & HB

Lucifer/Stolas 7/10 Two emotionally damaged dads? They’d be cute and would bond over being hurt by someone they love and their relationship with their daughters. But I think I like the idea of them being friends way better.

Verosika/Valentino 3/10 I don’t know 💀 I’ve been thinking about this one for a day or two. I’m just gonna say no

Ozzie/Angel 3/10 like the idea of Angel going to Ozzie for help/work, but nothing more

Loona/Cherri 7/10 Honestly? Two badass people = badass power couple lol

Loona/Charlie 2/10 not a big fan 🤷‍♀️

Blitzo/Angel 6/10 It could work, both are vulgar and brash. They got issues that could be worked on together. But those issues they got can also be a big problem in the relationship (as it is in helluva boss between Stolas & Blitz). But, if not romantically, then they could be great business partners.

Stolas/Angel & Fizzarolli/Angel 6/10 Platonic ship! Could go two ways: a good fuck or besties for life. I love the idea of them shopping and gossiping together. I don’t particularly think they’d work as a couple tho.

Fizzarolli/Angel/Stolas 6/10 Platonic ship! Could definitely be besties. Bonding over the lovers and tyrants in their lives, going shopping etc. Don’t think they all would/could be lovers.

——————

What’s your favorite/least favorite ship in HH & HB?

✨ Thanks for reading :) ✨

——————

[marytunno]

- play Jacob and the stone -

I felt inspired by this quote from the writer Lena Karla, in its heartbreaking simplicity it made me think about a lot of stuff...

But since in here I post mostly about Arya Stark and Gendrya I'll use my emotions to write about that.

No one asked me in particular but I am a yapper anyways... I wanted to answer, mostly for myself, about two questions about this paring.

1 Why do I personally ship Gendrya

2 Do I think they'll be endgame (spoiler I'm losing hope on twow ever being published yey)

I can count on one, ok maybe both, hands the ships in books and general media that I care about. I like most canon ships and the ones I dislike don't interfere much with my viewing experience, but I rarely feel a connection. Gendrya is an exception, I really, really care about these two. Without getting too personal... I love Arya's character so deeply, I started reading the books ( and watching the show) when I was very young, too young heheh, and so, the characters I could relate to and really understand were few, Arya being the main one. I can't say I have been through the same traumatic shit she has, but I know too well what it means to watch your family slowly die, suffer, disappear without being able to do anything about it, feeling just like the helpless kid I was. I know really well the anger, the self doubt, the fear, the numbness, the confusion that Martin was able to write in Arya's and other young character's chapters. I wasn't drawn to Asoiaf as the "wine and tits" thing, or for the over the top violence, I still feel like it's kinda well balanced and never too much btw, but because I saw deeply human characters experiencing loss like I was and I couldn't look away. What I always looked for in these pages, in this story, were the moments of light, of warmth, the moments that proved that even in the middle of the horrors of war and hate and manipulations some people care, some people get up every time they fall, some people come back for you, always. This to say that Gendrya, as a friendship mainly, is one of those moments of light in these books. I relate so deeply to the feeling of being alone, on the run, angry... and the way these characters find in each other a safe place, the way they trust each other, they fight, they speak the same words at the same time, they come back to each other... has me truly invested. They work very well together, have opposite upbringings and yet similar ideals, different personalities and yet the same temper... They have a way to challenge and bring out the best in each other. He is always there in her chapters, a presence almost given for granted until the harsh world they live in pulls them apart. I feel like the only stronger relationships Arya has are the ones with her family, mainly Jon, and I can't wait for her to be reunited to those who are still alive (or half alive hehe)... but I feel that there is still space for Gendry in her life, Arya had so so so much love to give, not per se in a romantic way, and we know our boy definitely needs some. All this to say I once was an angry and lost kid ( kinda still am haha) and I love seeing two lost and angry kids, in spite of everything, taking care of each other.

Yey so it's time for answer n2. As I have spoiled before... I kinda don't believe in Asoiaf to be ever finished, I sure hope, but ya know... So to me we will never know and Gendrya will stay as a great connection and friendship that could have turned romantic in some future... to me not knowing if they will ever be endgame doesn't spoil what we already have... I sure hope, if the books ever get published, that Arya gets to meet again most people she has left in westeros... From a narrative stand point it makes sense for her to cross paths again with the brotherhood (LSH yey) and having someone she can trust on her side wouldn't hurt. I don't rule out a romantic development, rebuilding their friendship to me would be more than enough, because I feel like Grrm could really easily go that way and most experiences Arya is having in essos are about her growing up into a woman. I mean we have to face it she won't be a child forever and I feel like she would love having her own family, her own pak to love fiercely. Even if one of them dies or they part ( I don't see them doing that easily after meeting again but who knows) I feel like the end of a relationship/friendship doesn't make it less beautiful and meaningful. For sure Arya could have other love interests but, I'm not into incest and actually having a brother that I love so so much, incest is kind of unthinkable to me (not sorry hehe) and in general most men in Asoiaf are not that great ( at least as partners let's be honest) and I want Arya to be with someone that loves and respects her for who she is and doesn't want to force her into standards that shouldn't even exist.

ok... I feel like nothing I said was coherent but who cares haha... at least the edit is kinda nice... in my mind it takes place while they are separated and think they'll never meet again... but if someone ( cough cough George) decides to write maybe that separation won't have to last forever.

An update: I'm writing something right now that I would define as a "what if" in the og asoiaf universe... I hope I'll be able to post it soon...

Byeee <3

[viaviv124]

What argument anti rayfrog shippers (or nayfrogs as i've learned, which is 10x more hillarious) that just makes me question if these people actually pay attention and is also lowkey funny to me is "Bullfrog said he watched Rayman since he was a tadpole!" That is literally not what he said. He said "i used to watch you as a tadpole"

Considering the Rayman show is probably the only or biggest kids program in Eden and Rayman is literally everywhere i doubt Bullfrog couldn't not watch him, espacially if it's mandatory viewing (which it most likely is). To me this just makes it like their Spongebob but forced, you get what i mean? I don't think this really proves a point. Bullfrog didn't even mention ever being a fan or liking the show. Just that he watched it. It's also funny to me how he dropped that line right after calling him "Eden's favorite Poster boy" like it's such a random thing to add lol, i don't think he wanted to imply he ever idolized him considering he was just mocking him the entire way through. Either way, at the time they met both of them were consenting adults able to think clearly and, again, Bullfrog hated Rayman with a passion at that point and did not idolize him, i mean, look at that glare:

If that's not pure spite and mockery i don't know what is.

What people need to understand is that no sane rayfrog shipper goes "Bullfrog likes Rayman/Ramon because he loved watching him on TV like 25 - 30+ years ago!" Pretty much all concepts/headcanons are hurt/comfort because the consensus of them bonding consists of them supporting eachother and becoming a shoulder to lean on to work out their mental stuff like Ramon's guilt about literally everything and Bullfrog's survivors guilt and eldest sister syndrome. Also, Bullfrog is quite literally a trained assassin of a group that quite literally has been fighting the templars/Eden since pretty much the beginning of human history. Pretty sure if anything his mind would default to spiting and distrusting Ramon at every turn instead of idolizing him for something he saw on tv when he was a literal toddler i mean come on are you serious. Also pretty sure his mind is clear enough to think about shit rationally.

Another point i love is "they shared only one scene." People have done more with less. Ramon and Dolph have not exchanged a single glance and Laserray (rayhawk? Idk) is a thing. People will ship anything as long as it has a good dynamic in their eyes. I'm just saying Mordetwi and other crossships.

Its genuinely hillarious to me how people hate on the popular ship instead of everything else. The two canon predators? Nope! Sarah x Jade that would, if it would be canon, be nothing but abuse considering all of their interactions in the show, as few as they were, are pretty abusive? Nope! But god forbid two consenting adults with an age gap that support eachother kiss! I absolutely do have certain problems with rayfrog but considering the lack of material we have to work with these problems are all speculations i can headcanon them away.

Also as a small note in case the conkai crowd pins me on this because of the posts i made several months ago, no, two consenting adults with an age gap are not the same as a 17 year old banging a physically 6 - 8 year old even if he has the mind of a 17 year old, thank you.

[olderthannetfic]

i'm kind of getting really tired of people acting like they're so ambivalent to who tops or bottoms in a ship. like at a certain point it just comes off as arrogant and sounds like "i'm so much better than you because i don't have a preference for top/bottom and i think it's badwrong to treat fictional characters like this because top/bottom is just a position and not personality trait and blahblahblah" and like. sigh. what are fictional characters if not our play things to do with as we please? having a preference for who tops/bottoms is normal, there's nothing wrong with liking whatever you like. shaming people for having a preference is actually crazy and it feels a little purity culture adjacent? it's also very annoying that people like this refuse to tag their fics with who tops or bottoms, like out of spite of hating people who have a preference. like i've literally seen in the notes of a fic "if you care who tops or bottoms this fic isn't for you. i'm not tagging it." and fine, that's fair, i won't read it... but why not just tag for the people who have a preference? what's the big deal? and just as a side note, i have noticed that in certain fandoms the people who behave like this are the ones who tend to characterize their bottoms a certain way. they will parrot "top/bottom isn't a personality trait" but then they are incapable of writing a bottom who isn't characterized *like that*. iykyk. (referring to mostly over-feminization of a very masculine character in canon, or automatically making the smaller/shorter/younger the bottom). if that's what you like, fine! great! but (for example) if you make bucky barnes the bottom of your stucky fic, and you've turned him into this frail waif, or made him completely interchangeable with a woman, i would appreciate a tag so i can avoiding reading it, because in opening a stucky fic, i came here to read about two big beefy masculine men (unless tags stated otherwise), you know? 😂😭 and i don't think there should be anything wrong with wanting that! i don't think there should be anything wrong with wanting to read whatever characterization you want! i just wish people would stop judging or shaming people for having a preference, and would tag their shit accordingly. sorry for the rant!

--

Not judging and knowing what to tag are very different things.

[bazaarwords]

in spite of war [2/? | griddlehark | post-canon]

more! so soon! thank you guys for the feedback! :)

prev

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Cyprus-b was a shithole.

It was a shithole planet on the outskirts of a shithole system with the shittiest people I’ve ever met. And that is saying something.

Someone, covered in mud, slapped me across the face within the first twenty minutes. My vision had gone starry, and Paul had grabbed me by the arm, lest I “Begin another interplanetary incident.” Which was a thing that had happened one fucking time and afterwards everyone had to watch Gideon like a hawk because Gideon couldn’t control her temper.

Shut up. I hated it there.

We’d surveyed the planet, and you and Ianthe had begrudgingly done your lyctor business, which I guess I could have helped with but I was feeling moody and my cheek was swelling up and I didn’t want to.

I’d loitered around with Coronabeth, who’d somehow gotten in the good graces of the mud-asshole who’d slapped me, just as quickly as I’d pissed him off, and was now in possession of a rather large chunk of crystal.

“What are you going to do with that?” I asked, running a hand through my hair.

She smiled at me, which was not a luxury I was afforded often. I didn’t have a heart, but if I had? It would have turned into a jackhammer.

She held it out in front of her like a puppy or a baby. “I think it’ll make a nice statement piece in my room. Or I could smash someone’s skull in? One never does have enough bludgeoning instruments, hm?”

Remember what I said about the horniness? Yeah.

“You could smash my skull in, you know? Really freak out mud-boy and the shitheads over there.”

Corona laughed. It was so nice to hear—a laugh. We’d killed Dad-God and we were doing what someone could arguably call “good work” and the worst was seemingly over and no one was laughing. Except for Ianthe every once in a while, which sounded like a smoker with a deflating balloon caught in their windpipe. She sounded like shit.

Corona let me hold the crystal. When she passed it to me, she touched my fingers for a little too long. I might have blushed, she might have winked. All I know for sure is that the weight of the thing suddenly felt like nothing. Something heavier made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

And I knew, obviously. I knew you were looking at me.

I knew you hated when I didn’t help. You were staring at me and judging me and fine. Fine. I should have helped. I should have shoved my hands in the dirt like you and Ianthe and I should have done anything but what I was doing.

But I didn’t want to. I felt petulant and bitchy. I felt like I wanted to throw the fucking crystal at your head. Then regret it. Then probably get a crystal to the head myself.

I handed the thing back to Corona, feeling something that tasted like blood rising up in my chest. I wanted to say something catty, to share a dumb little secret with her, and to make you watch like I knew you were.

Then, how-fucking-ever. Judith Deuteros hobbled out of the ship, looking as proud as she could whilst being absolutely fucked up. And then, well, I kind of ceased to exist.

I felt when you stopped looking at me, too. It made me feel like nothing. Like less than nothing.

I ran my bitten nails over my scalp as hard as I could, wishing that they were sharper. Wishing I could draw blood.

next

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Ange I was thinking about your latest Ettore drabble, maybe, canon Ettore would’ve turned out differently if he had met the right person. If he had met someone who is as depraved, desperate for some escape, maybe just as unknowingly craving that genuine human touch, he wouldn’t have hurt someone else, he would’ve had something warm to hold onto in that hellhole he lived.

Hopefully I don’t sound like I’m defending canon Ettore’s action, he is a scumbag. But maybe had two scumbags who are just as desperate to comfort each other through canal pleasure been left alone, they might have had something beautiful, something genuine blooming between them.

Im not joking when I said you’re singlehandedly making Ettore one of my favorite characters, Ewan played a scumbag, and a lot of Ettore fics hammered his predator side through and through, I like your approach to the character in fanon writing exploring the other possibility if he met someone and started connecting with them in the end. I would love to read the “I love you” drabble you teased if you have time and ofc feel like writing it one day.

Sorry this has taken me so long!

Warnings: Implied smut, mild violence, heavy angst, character death, mentions of grief, trauma. Word count: ~2k

Ettore stares after Boyse’s retreating form, a feeling of unease settling into his gut. It’s not a feeling he is accustomed to and he hates it. This would end badly. The sudden spike in adrenaline directly opposes the post-sex haze he was expecting to bask in for a moment, and his jaw clenches in anger, simmering hot and unforgiving beneath his skin.

He considers going after Boyse, silencing her, making sure she doesn’t ruin the only good thing he has to look forward to on this miserable ship. But then he looks down at her, the woman he is currently buried inside of, her eyes large and reflecting the same anxiety he currently feels. His fury slowly dissipates as he is brought back into the moment; her warmth enveloping him, how soft she feels against his body.

“Shit.” She breathes out shakily, pushing him away and straightening up.

A hollowness expands within Ettore’s chest at the sudden loss of contact as he slips out of her. There is something about it that feels so final, it has him longing to press her back up against the wall and keep her there forever.

Slowly, he adjusts his clothing as she does the same to hers. His eyes move between her and the door, unsure of how to handle the situation.

“Fuckfuckfuck.” She murmurs, raking her hands through her hair and starting to pace. “That was so stupid of us.”

“You think she’ll say anything?” He asks, standing perfectly still in spite of the nervousness that rolls in his gut.

“I dunno.” She says with a shrug, chewing absentmindedly at her thumbnail. “Hard to tell.”

“We could stop her…”

She ceases her pacing and looks him in the eye, her tone serious. “You’ll do nothing, not after what you did to Monte. I’ll talk to Boyse. Just go back to work, okay?”

He nods. She has a point, but he hates the lack of control he has over the situation.

As she turns to leave the laundry room, he is struck once more by the overwhelming sensation of finality. He reaches desperately for her, pulling her to him and kissing her fiercely, as though he is trying to breathe the very air from her lungs. He feels her relax into it, moving her lips against his for a few seconds and his grip on her tightens.

She pulls away eventually, breathless and eyebrows raised in surprise. “You trying to get us caught again?”

“No, I just…” The words die in his throat, unable to articulate the fact that he wants nothing more than to live in this moment forever, and he shakes his head. “...doesn’t matter.”

She slips out of his grasp and walks off. He doesn’t turn away until she rounds the corner and is out of sight

He spends the rest of the day on edge. His ears prick up at every sound, his shoulders never fully pulling away from his neck. The ship doesn’t make for the most relaxing environment in the first place, but he’s feeling especially tense. The impending sense that something is going to happen refuses to leave him, but he’s unsure of what to expect.

Perhaps Monte will seek him out, intent on getting him back for his attack earlier? Maybe Dibs will formulate some sort of punishment, having been informed that he’s involved sexually with another member of the crew when it’s strictly forbidden?

When sleep mode is activated later that evening, he anticipates relief washing over him as there is seemingly no fallout to the events earlier that day, instead his mind continues to race.

He passes her in the hallway on the way back to his cell, and raises his eyebrows at her in question. She shakes her head and he sighs in frustration, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her around a corner.

“You’ve not sorted it?” He asks in a whisper.

She sighs. “I couldn’t. Haven’t been able to find Boyse most of the day and whenever I see her she’s not on her own. I’ll try again tomorrow.”

“Fuck.” He tuts, pulling back from her.

“I think it’s best if you don’t come to my bunk tonight.” She tells him. “Can’t risk it.”

He knows it’s for the best, that what she’s saying makes total sense and yet he can’t help the crushing disappointment that settles heavy and unyielding in his chest. When his mind won’t quiet there is nothing that soothes him more than to sink inside of her, and feel the way she shudders and falls apart against him. He needs that now more than ever, yet the riskiness of their current predicament will not allow it.

He quirks his lip, looking away from her and stalks back towards his cell.

Sleep does not come for Ettore that night; he lays flat on his back, eyes fixed on the door to the cell, waiting. For what, he is unsure, but his gut feeling tells him something is wrong and he is powerless to stop it. He is always the hunter, never the hunted, and yet the tables have turned and there is nothing he can do about it. His grip on the blankets beside him turns his knuckles white as he lays there, trapped and frustrated.

He has no idea how long he lays there for, just watching, but at some point the lights on board brighten, signaling the start of another day. He climbs from the bed, raising his arms above his head to lean on the doorframe as he peers out.

The first few members of the crew begin to exit their cells, sullen faced as they head towards the showers. Ettore looks at them impassively as they pass, not really seeing them. His gaze focuses, zeroing in when he sees a familiar head of long, dark hair heading in the opposite direction; Dibs. He suspects where she is headed, and waits a few moments before following.

Lurking around the corner, his suspicions are confirmed as she goes into her cell. He wishes he could hear what they are saying, it’s not common for Dibs to visit any of the crew in their sleeping quarters and seeing this makes his chest feel tight. There’s no way this isn’t related to them being caught together.

He flattens against the wall, as he sees Dibs leave, striding purposefully back towards her lab. He can’t see the expression on her face, but there’s something about the way she carries herself that leaves him longing to punch her. He flexes his fingers to suppress the urge and then heads into the cell that she’s just exited.

She’s pulling on her top when he enters and is clearly startled by the sight of him as her head appears through the neckhole.

“Christ! When did you appear there?” She asks, smoothing the material of the scrubs over her midriff. 

He ignores the questioning, jutting his jin towards the doorway. “What was all that about?”

She sighs, her gaze downcast. “Dibs says I missed my last check up. Wants to see me this morning.”

Bile rises in his throat, his eyes narrow. “You know that’s bullshit, right? Boyse has dropped us in it.”

She nods, looking up at him in resignation. “Yeah. Yeah, I know. But what choice do I have? Gotta take my punishment.”

“Don’t go!” He tells her angrily, his heart feeling as though it will thunder straight out of his chest. “You don’t have to go!”

“The longer I leave it, the worse it’ll be.” She shrugs. “I’ve lashed out at her before and all she did was up my sedatives. Can’t imagine this will be any worse.”

“But what if it is?!” He shouts, feeling his face grow hot as he surges forward to grab her by the upper arms. “What if she hurts you?”

“Then she hurts me.” She fires back, scowling. “You’ve hurt me before, it heals.”

He lets her go, stepping back, but never shifting his focus from her face. “I’m not letting you do this.”

She scoffs. “She’ll drug me up, I’ll come back, I’ll sleep it off. Why are you being so fucking weird about this?”

He speaks before he has time to think, the words leaving him in a burst of exasperation. “Because I love you!”

Freezing when he realises what he’s said, the air hangs heavy between them as she stares at him in shock. Why isn’t she saying anything?!

His fists clench as he feels rejection begin to pierce at him, eager to lash out, until her face softens and she speaks, barely a whisper.

“What did you just say?”

He exhales, not realising he’d been holding his breath and looks away from her. “I just…I don’t want anything to happen to you, alright?”

She cups his face, urging him downward so that she can rest her forehead against his. “I know. I know. I’ll be okay, promise.”

He relaxes in her embrace, eager to keep her with him. He leans in, pressing his lips to hers, disappointed when she pulls back with a playful smile.

“Let me owe you that one.” She says softly. “My guarantee to you that I’ll come back.”

He watches silently as she walks away, in the direction of the lab, dread gnawing at his insides.

Ettore is slamming closed the lid of a washer when Tchemy enters the laundry room. “We’ve been summoned.” He calls out to him.

“What d’you mean?” He asks, turning to face him.

“Dibs needs something put out of the airlock.” Tchemy says with a casual shrug. “It’s me and Mink on maintenance today, but she asked for you specifically. Must be heavy if Mink can’t help me.”

Ettore feels as though all the air has left room, his heart lurches painfully in his chest. He pushes past Tchemy, ignoring the other man’s joking pleas for him to slow down as he storms quickly towards the airlock.

Time draws to a standstill, the blood rushing in his ears when he sees the gurney and the sheet covering the figure that lays upon it. His knees feel like they’ll buckle beneath him, everything sounds far away.

“This is a body…” Tchemy says apprehensively.

Dibs nods solemnly, her expression grim as her mouth presses into a tight line. “She bled out during a routine procedure. Tragic, but unavoidable, these things happen. We have to dispose of her”

Ettore barely comprehends the exchange, his eyes drift downwards to the hand that’s hanging from beneath the sheet. Her hand. The same hand that had cupped his face earlier that day as she’d told him she owed him a kiss. A kiss he’d never get to have, because she’d been taken from him. She was his and they’d taken her away.

His hands tremble, his eyes sting painfully and he swallows thickly, he won’t give Dibs the satisfaction of a reaction. She’d taken enough from him already. He’d been right, why hadn’t he done more to stop her? He’d let her go and now she was being discarded like rubbish.

He bristles with anger as Tchemy claps him on the shoulder, pulling him out of his painful reverie. “Need your help, man.” He says.

Dibs had done this on purpose, she’d wanted him to know, to see, to punish him by having him help dispose of her. His heart shatters when he lifts her, how cold and void of her usual softness she is against him is too much to bear. His mood shifts, becoming darker, angrier, more predatory as they seal the airlock back up. His resolve hardens. Something inside of him has died alongside of her, and he wants to make them pay for what they’ve stolen from him. They’ll all feel every bit of the pain he’s enduring, he’ll make sure of it. And he’ll start with the person who ratted them out in the first place; Boyse.

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