#ship shaming PSA

[twistntweak-blog]

I'm tired of people being selective about messy ships, especially when it's a black character (possibly main) and a non-black main character. Suddenly, the morality, ethics, and/or "just be friends" police come out.

But, I've seen ships consist of a good person/serial *1ller, good person/problematic bully, good person/former g*ap1st, good person/demon from hell. AND NO ONE BATS AN EYELASH.

But the messed-up ship you like? Nope!

Suddenly, your ship triggered the time they were bumped into by accident on a busy street. 🙄

And don't get me started on the Everything-Causes-Owies-and/or-I'm-Different-Different gang. iykyk.

No one calls then out, but the moment you do the hypocrisy and weaponized trauma becomes unreal. If you hate the ship, then leave the tag alone. You can't have your messy ship(s) and eat it, too.

[trashogram]

Ok, I’m sorry, but you should not need the creator of a show to tell you that it’s ok to ship whatever you want and that you shouldn’t be harassing other people over ships.

You should not need to be told that harassment is unacceptable. Period. It never is. There are no exceptions.

“But what if…” “Unless it’s…” “Except it’s ok when..” No.

It’s not okay.

“But what if someone is actually harming others or themselves because of a ship?” Then you block and report. If it’s that serious, you handle it responsibly. Insults and wishing harm on others does nothing. You know this. If you don’t, you are not able to handle being in fandom and you need to leave until you are prepared to act civilly.

[sharonisthebettercarter]

we need to have an honest conversation about hostile attribution bias, honesty, and bullying.

@deliciouskeys i've had enough of this shit. you wanted to piss me off. now i'm pissed the fuck off.

hey, hiiii. friends of hers? critics? whoever you are reading this and willing to hear me out, i just wanna start by saying don't hate on her or anyone for this. don't send harassment, don't send anon hate, don't even unfollow her if you do read this all the way and find yourself upset with the topics discussed or her actions.

or maybe you wouldn't anyway, and you've already decided i'm insane, fine. but if you are friends of hers, don't barrage her with verbal abuse of any kind even if you are disappointed or disgusted, i'm not about that. and good friends won't just coddle and take your side to enable the bullshit, but they won't try to hurt you when you're down either

and to clarify what this is? it is a harsh criticism of ongoing behavior i have faced from her behind the scenes. or out in the open i suppose but mostly unseen or dismissed.

yes, i have the motherfucking receipts. i've tried to condense them to what i found most relevant to the topics at hand without clipping the interactions so much that they would give a biased misrepresentation, but all conversations as of this moment and to the best of my knowledge are still available to view in full context. mine certainly won't be deleted.

i may have some bad takes sometimes cause i'm as perfect as anyone, which is to say NOT AT ALL. but i'll readily admit that and the fact that i work on it, CONSTANTLY. and before anyone decides to dig through my shit to see if they can find dirt on me IRRELEVANT to this situation to DISTRACT from what's being called out?

all i ask is a fair chance and moment of your time to show you what i've been through, because it's something she never gave me from day one. and bear in mind please, that i am pissed off because it's gone on long enough and now she's trying to drag my friends into it while CONTINUING TO LIE BEHIND MY BACK and feign fucking ignorance.

no more.

deliciouskeys? you. yes you, i am addressing you directly this time. i gave you a peace offering with the mike sully meme, and you just kept going.

since i poked my head into the boys fandom, you have been hostile to me, LIED about me, put words in my mouth, accused me of hostility towards you, assumed my intent while not only withholding the benefit of a doubt, but consistently. consistently putting me down and insulting me as some sort of estranged fandom villain who only exists or popped up to oppose you or ruin everything.

i'm not a fucking cartoon character, i am a person. i do not exist to supplant you or whatever weird shit you keep imagining me to be that makes you act like this.

almost every single thing i say to you, instead of actually LISTENING or i dunno, READING IT AT FACE VALUE, you take. hyperanalyze. and immediately give it the WORST interpretation you can. and that's if i'm lucky.

i'm not here for fandom wars and shipping bullshit. i'm not here for your false dichotomy fantasy. i'm here to be a bullshit shipper and have fun and try to get others to be more open and have fun too. maybe throw in a psa here and there for the things i find important.

i'm not here to get fucking bullied either or to watch others get bullied. you can take your assumed hostility and narcissistic PROJECTION and shove it straight up your ass if you think i'm going to tolerate it.

and what is 'hostile attribution bias'? it's this shit.

oh, and you don't have to assume it anymore. i'm fucking hostile. why am i hostile? oh... at this point, i KNOW you KNOW. but not everyone else does, so let's just lay it all out and let others draw their own conclusions. hm?

this was what set you off, right? the automatic assumption that this was someone i knew, looking out for me? i suppose that's possible but that doesn't mean i know exactly who it was or that i put them up to it.

and y'know, i might have even said that anon was a bit harsh and still given you the benefit of a doubt. anon was ANGRY and that's clear, but plausible deniability is so wonderful, isn't it?

but you've gone beyond that point. it wouldn't be the first time someone's noticed your behavior, and i can guarantee that. our first conversation was on my post about the comics and what they meant to me, sparked from an interaction i had with another fan of the show who refused to read the comics but still insulted them directly to me.

the bottom piece is from the post, the top would be the snippet of conversation with the other person prior. all of these are highlighted with slightly adjusted coloring for ease of understanding who's who. and granted, you could argue that i jumped the gun in my first response to you, but then you accused me of being hostile towards people who allegedly read and disliked them. and i had done no such thing, i literally was not addressing those people at all.

that was the first time you put words in my mouth, lied about what i said, and 'villainized' me for 'attacking people' made of straw i might add, when the post itself SPECIFICALLY STATED:

MISCONCEPTION.

so not the people, but the IDEA. an actually legitimately incorrect idea given context. i could go into a rant about how the comics cover one of the single most important and detrimental concepts to humanity (the war machine) and how american media is so piss watered down, propagandized and censored for babies and pearl clutching old people (and before you clutch your pearls over me 'attacking' babies and the elderly, i am not. i am criticizing AMERICAN MEDIA and PURITAN MENTALITY) that the comic itself was relatively tame outside of the american world view bubble, but that's not the point here, is it.

the 'many many' actually refers to people off of tumblr too, though i'm sure there's a fair share here of that mindset as it's found everywhere with everything. even then, i don't condemn the people. minds can be changed for ideas, that was what i was trying to do. maybe i need better methods and i can admit that.

still you chose to lie to my face or what, attempt to gaslight me?? whatever it was, it was enough for someone ELSE to step in and literally ask if you were BULLYING me.

and me, being the naive fucking moron that i am and thinking we ended on a nice punny note and the conversation wasn't so bad STILL gave YOU the benefit of a doubt.

did you extend the same courtesy to me later on? well, let's see.

no. no you did not. snippets of a convo from an anon ask you got on a proposed canon butchlander from when i tried to join in, you immediately accused me of things i have never said or done or even implied. and when i called you out on it, you immediately apologized (good on you, not included here but i DO acknowledge it and DID appreciate it) and i thought, "oh cool! we must be explaining ourselves to try and better understand each other so this doesn't happen again."

only for you to then backtrack and jump back on that ASSUMED HOSTILITY shit you seem to just LOVE huffing. but just for me i gather. maybe a couple others that i haven't seen or don't know about.

considering this is just the stuff i DO know about.

moving on.

you have questions? oh, what a cowinkydink, i have answers. if only you had just ASKED ME DIRECTLY INSTEAD OF PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH AND LYING.

but to give some clarification to the numbered ones.

love the framing here. OF COURSE, WE are ONLY here to be a NUISANCE. must be nice being a real human who can interact with others instead of solely "bother" them. if you'd actually read the post, you might have seen it was about the BULLYING itself, not the bullshit that apparently makes you rabid enough to be a bully. great use of being obtuse.

stop putting words in my mouth. stop fucking lying about me. stop assuming my intentions. stop painting me for your weird ass personal agenda or vendetta. stop making up bullshit about me when you haven't taken two seconds to get to know me. i did no such thing as 'slur the cishets'. proof is in the fucking pudding.

ahhh... i understand why you don't block people. and i think i'm understanding the insidious behavior and bullying too. you're disgusting to people who you don't want to see the content of so that they'll block you while you get to pretend you're still on your little high horse of being the "less petty" or "bigger" person. and that way you don't have to see their content anymore, right? having your cake, and eating it too. it's smart. it looks good on you as long as people don't see the behavior, like you might actually want to solve problems.

although, if i'm to understand all this correctly, you don't want to given the continued hostility towards me regardless of what i do or say. am i getting this, more of that delectable plausible deniability? or am i giving you too much credit? do you even want the benefit of a doubt at this point? because you stated before you'd rather be considered evil than stupid.

oh, my mistake, "disgusting" than "ignorant". let me not do what you do and put words in your mouth. clarify for me, if you want to.

personally, i think ignorance is more forgivable than malice because at least the uninformed can learn better, while those with ill intent will seek to harm again, but to each their own i guess.

and if you actually have brain damage over a nonsensical but ultimately harmless shit joke online, i'd suggest seeking actual help from a doctor because that isn't normal. but i'm going to be generous and say maybe it was a bit much or gave you a recurring nightmare or something, i don't know you, in which case yeah, get help if you need it. i take mental health very seriously so i'm not joking or being sarcastic here. happy healing and sorry for the trouble if that's the case on this specific thing.

but oh! you just don't want to see it, right? TOO BAD BITCH, I GOT MORE TO GIVE AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME!!

and i don't have a problem with you writing your personal views about a pairing, any pairing. if that were all you had done, we probably wouldn't be having this conversation or, if you don't care i suppose i wouldn't be screaming into the void.

but you explicitly stated your point of view was "pretty common", that defaults my view as "uncommon" or in other words, "others" me and those who like bottom billy. don't you dare deny that when you know for a fact it's true.

then citing reasons for why you believed your view was more "accurate". you then went on to claim you were "baffled" when if that were true and you were actually interested in TRYING to UNDERSTAND? YOU WOULD HAVE JUST FUCKING ASKED ME DIRECTLY.

not that i would owe you an explanation or apology, or anything. but i'd have been NICE enough to try and answer anyway to the best of my ability. here, i'll do it now.

i'm not a big fan of bottom homie for the same reasons i'm not at all a fan of (show) homewell. apart from the whole superdick/compressing anus thing, narcissistic abuse/grooming and exploiting someone's trauma for a toxic kink is not only a huge turn off for me, it's super fucking triggering based on my experiences and what i have been through. i've had enough people looking down on me and telling me they "know what's best for me" while trying to rob me of my humanity and use me for their gain.

the funny thing is that i relate to homie in that sense but consider myself a total bottom who also LOVES the 'dom mommy' in certain context, but i also share a lot of similarities with butcher as well and know they both have a lot of very intense differences from me. and homie has a fucking vibrator for a dick. you CANNOT make me want to miss a chance for that, it's just not going to happen. and if i ever want to explore any form of 'grooming' kink from a personal place? i'll stick to thanos and mistress death, thanks.

i also don't find toxic masculinity sexy, that's a red fucking flag for me more glaring than the entirety of homelander, i find POSITIVE masculinity far sexier and true 'top' like. MM has the most of that in my opinion and is the sexiest man on the show, besides the guy who plays black noir under the mask.

i also fully understand the kink on the other end, y'all wanna baby him cause he's never had a mommy and longs for some kind of nurturing parental love, and y'all also wanna fuck him cause he's hot. so ya smash the two together and embrace the infantilization kink (which is seriously not my thing)

and listen, more power to ya. if that's what you like, enjoy it. i'm not judging. i just don't have the same fucking taste and i'm entitled to that. i don't understand why you have to comment on it or be "baffled" by the idea that people can be different from you.

for the record, i don't want to smash the two ideas together, i want to help homie SEPARATE and DEMUDDLE the legitimate problems and confusion in his brain that makes him so vulnurable to women's manipulations, and help him grow the fuck up without wanting to fuck his own mother (if he hasn't already) or keep him baby minded forever. i want to untap his potential and see the man he can/would become depending on circumstance.

because i like redemption and character growth and am a sucker for second chances regardless of liking dark media, and there's a huge difference between "i like you" and " i like that you like me".

that requires a more careful handling than anything suface level, but regardless i don't enjoy exploiting trauma kinks or reinforcing toxic masculinity any more than i would enjoy yiff or snuff. i wouldn't judge someone for having the taste as long as no one real got hurt. but that doesn't mean i have to have their taste.

stop kink shaming me or being "confused" by my preference, i haven't done the same to you. and before you pretend you haven't or that i have.

if you were "seriously trying to understand" you would again, ASK ME DIRECTLY instead of this roundabout bullshit where you talk about it and 'how confused or tired' you are, but can't be bothered to take two fucking seconds to JUST ASK for a more serious answer beyond willem dafoe.

if i wanted to shame you for having a kink, i wouldn't be subtle about it. but i wouldn't anyway because i wouldn't even shame those who have a rape fantasy because i have one and have written and read plenty of it. i file it under 'horror pr0n' with a number of other things, and not every form or 'flavor' of horror pr0n that exists is going to be for everyone, much the same as fucking regular horror. but if it's FICTION, it shouldn't matter.

i understand that and if i judged others for having different tastes or acted... well like YOU, that would make me a hypocrite.

and your friend got it PERFECTLY on the first note. and then decided to enable the bullshit yet again by subscribing to the bane of human unity, tribalism. thanks for reinforcing the idea that this HAS to be a dichotomy WHEN IT'S NOT.

a little healthy teasing and competition? i'm game. it's too bad that's not what this was.

i am not your fucking enemy just because YOU decided i was, YOU do not get to decide that for me. but i'll give them the benefit of a doubt and say they were 'just joking', right?

that's ALL it ever is. "just jokes". but JUST when you or "your side" do it. it's not like you've ever been derogatory and petty about "your side" being the "good side" of fandom.

if you have to constantly reinforce and self assure how "good" you are compared to "others" specifically not part of your niche bubble?

you're an asshole who's not actually "good", full stop. if you have to measure your self worth based on what others do or comparing yourself to them, actually seek help because that's not healthy. just my two cents

but if you want to get technical, NO ONE IS RIGHT AND NEITHER BILLY NOR HOMELANDER IS TOP OR BOTTOM IN A TRADITIONAL SENSE, not just because opinions and preferences can't be right or wrong. because butchlander isn't fucking canon, isn't going to become canon, and as far as we know, both characters are confirmed 100% STRAIGHT within the show with toxic masculinity issues a mile long and would never wanna touch each other like that with a 10 foot pole, and homelander's shown exactly ZERO interest in actually being pegged thus far, so that idea's a headcanon.

even herogasm showed us that 3 on fucking 1 STILL wasn't enough to take him down and homie freaking out over a bruise from an unfair challenge of 3 on 1 because it had logically been a very long time since he'd been hurt makes reasonable sense on a basic surface level. he's then over it by the time maeve makes him bleed and carries on bleeding, and now butcher's dying and is the most vulnurable and literally weak because he's sick of the bunch, so... headcanons? headcanons are fine but let's not forget reality and then laugh at the people who remember it.

and if you had just asked me why i even brought up lovely amazing beautiful cishet women (not at all sarcastic, see above purple posts), instead of YET AGAIN. ASSUMING MY INTENT AND PUTTING A LOAD OF CRAP IN MY MOUTH. you can have that back by the way, what the actual fuck is wrong with you??

or for clarification on why i brought it up? i could have TOLD YOU MYSELF. because unlike SOME PEOPLE, when someone just ASKS a question or gives a neutral or even heated response? I DON'T ASSUME HOSTILITY OR TAKE IT PERSONALLY FROM THEM LIKE IT'S A FUCKING SPORT.

fact (and correct me if i'm wrong): majority of people participating in shipping fandom are cishet women.

this is a simple fact, it doesn't mean anything beyond that, i specifically said both times there's nothing wrong with this.

a majority of people are cishet, so this is to be expected. it still doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the people.

fact: society has issues, ideas, and expectations that affect and harm us all. cishet, or queer. and these issues will and do present themselves in fandom and fan fictions whether we realize that or not. heteronormativity would be one of those. misogyny is another.

and one of my kinks is challenging that, or at least the way i see to challenge that while dunking on redpill idealogy and toxic masculinity because i fucking can.

and i just LOVE how you tout about having the "pReTtY cOmMoN" perception which newsflash, YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO HETERONORMATIVE IDEAOLOGY IF YOU THINK TOXIC MASCULINITY IS A REASON A MAN WOULD NEVER BOTTOM. you'd be surprised what people could get up to behind closed doors. but then you turn around and not only put more words in my mouth, enable anon to put words in my mouth, discourage getting a direct answer from me, accuse me and my friends of being the type to randomly accuse someone else of doxxing??? wtf even is that.

and of course. given your 'pretty common' perception being the total opposite of heteronormativity, it MUST mean that society has resolved all of its issues and come to accept queer people exactly as they are in all forms with no expectations or interference whatsoever, oh yeah. places like florida or uganda just totally don't exist. the u.s. isn't on the verge of becoming an actual fascist hellhole for us, and it is TOTALLY just... no one oppresses us. no one.

ESPECIALLY not the cishets.

and despite all the evidence to the contrary, you especially have done nothing wrong here and its all in my head. is that right? can you clarify for me? do you think that my situations have put zero pressure on me in my day to day life? on my friends' lives? do you think you didn't add to that? do you think you and company are the only ones that feel or react like humans?

imagine being so far up your own ass you tell the queer HOW to queer. or at least be a GOOD queer, right?

oh, i'm sorry let me not put words in your mouth. you were of course only laughing at me behind my back for the 'anti-cishet' things i never said.

and no. OBVIOUSLY i wasn't saying any of the shit you accused. i was saying i prefer SUBVERSIVE themes when i do my tops and bottoms and a more detailed look at that can be found in my purple all over responses or just the posts themselves, but if you still want to ask me anyway, i'll answer to the best of my ability.

and what a coincidence that despite you understanding top/bottom not just being related to penetration and some people will feel certain dynamics may be reductive, how ironic that you couldn't possibly fathom that as one of my main complaints.

you don't WANT to actually understand. you just wanted a circle jerk of confirmation bias.

this anon hit the nail on the fucking head. and you wanted to fight them?? i could have overlooked this but i wanted to touch on something really important because i don't know what anon may have seen but i once saw you answer an ask about homelander's redeemability and you cited "tough love" as a means to get there.

and as a former addict and narcissistic abuse survivor (specifying for context), i can tell you first hand "tough love" is not a real thing, and it's not discipline either because that requires teaching and providing tools for rehabilitation. but don't just take my word for it.

from a psychological perspective and to hear actual professionals go over the concept? "tough love" not only DOESN'T work. it is an excuse to be nasty and abusive to someone under the guise that you are only doing it to help them, when all it really does is make you an abusive fuck.

this would be why the SHOW had HOMELANDER of all people saying it, why what billy did to ryan is presented the way it was with HUGHIE of all people, the guy who was at the time dealing with a huge wad of toxic masculinity issues up his ass, 'got it'. and even BUTCHER'S DAD is presented as the piece of shit that he is who gladly passed on his curse to butcher like it was a 'gift'.

even the comics got this when they present butcher doing his scumlord over 9000 move to hughie and annie saying "cruel to be kind" about his own bullshit. no. no no no. he did NOT do that for hughie's well being. he did it for himself because he was a selfish prick.

and i want to be clear. i am being an asshole here and i fully recognize that. that's for ME to feel better because i am fed up with your bullshit. because you have spent your time poking and prodding me for a hostile reaction. well congrats motherfucker. you got it.

and there ain't NO fucking love there.

i won't be your enemy. but i am NOT your friend either. clearly YOU wouldn't want that anyway.

but because i always have to add in that disclaimer for basic human decency? EVEN WITH HOW I FEEL and what the actual science says about "tough love", i would still never tell someone they can't use it in fiction, presented as a toxic kink or whatever the fuck else. even if it triggers me. even if i have a thousand different reasons to criticize it and voice that in a separate space.

people can do whatever the fuck they want and i can't control that. neither can you.

but i don't have to engage with the content or speak positively on it or keep my mouth shut, and i'm not gonna harrass people or pull the kind of insidious bullshit you do either.

at the end of the day, this is fiction. and if you feel the need to run an entire fucking smear campaign about me over fiction and preferences??

stop lying about me

stop putting words in my mouth

stop talking about me behind my back

stop predetermining who i am for me

stop assuming hostility when i will flat out tell you my intent and you can just ask, that doesn't just go for me.

stop fucking gatekeeping and gaslighting.

I DON'T HAVE A DISHONESTY PROBLEM LIKE SOME PEOPLE.

and fuck you.

neither me nor any of my friends or these anons are crazy and i will not sit around while you try to fucking gaslight me or anyone else. try it again, i fucking dare you.

bottom billy lovers existing is not an attack on you. it never was. you don't own the tags. FUCKING DEAL.

this behavior? is UNNACCEPTABLE.

as for fandom? a few more things i want to cover. i couldn't have said it better than a friend of mine who while a little hectic and crazy sometimes, has been nothing but a sweetheart<3 that i just want to encourage and motivate to art or post pictures of her billy butcher kitty babygirl incarnate but unfortunately due to circumstances may be regressing back into her shell.

a message i will never stop promoting, whatever iteration it comes in, whenever it comes up.

i may disagree with what you are saying or doing, but as long as you are not harming anyone, i will fight wholeheartedly for your right to say or do so.

that is the philosphy of true freedom, THAT is what i subscribe to. and it pisses me the fuck off when i see people trying to punish or hurt people for things that hurt no one. we don't get to decide how other people want to live their lives. we can only navigate and hope we might find a friend along the way.

and THAT is the single greatest picture of captain america ever fucking created. no i will take dissenting opinions.

in regards to assumed hostility or hostile attribution bias, a more lighthearted and easily digestable demonstration is below.

gais... just don't do it. don't automatically assume that someone means you harm or pain simply because they disagree with you. this is what leads to more problems. this is what leads to human tribalism. this is what divides us. this is what destroys us. this is what leads to wars. fandom shipping bullshit or otherwise.

the fucking stupidest invention of humanity, fought over goddamn unholy wads of paper and scribbles of ink because people couldn't accept that their ideas weren't accepted by everyone else, and anyone who didn't fall in line got the axe. or alienated. or excommunicated. or accused of being a witch. or whatever.

but this is the kinda shit we need to nip in the bud at the most basic level we can, every time we can.

it's called intolerance of the intolerant. and it's how we stop hatred from fostering and the intolerance being tolerated and eventually taking over.

because assumed hostility? it IS intolerance.

people are not made from ideas, it's the people who make or break the ideas, not the other way around. and ideas can change.

that should never be seen as a bad thing because it's necessary for positive changes and better understanding as time goes on.

challenge yourselves and the way you think, listen to newcomers and welcome them, have healthy discussions, learn to agree to disagree. it's not that hard.

and i know, i get it. it's not easy, not that simple either. everyone's on edge, people are sickly addicted to hatred and anger because they are EASY. giving in to them doesn't require self control or any form of discipline, it is as simple as instinct. it IS instinct. but if humanity has ANY hope of moving forward?

we HAVE to learn to give people the benefit of a doubt. we HAVE to learn to listen to each other, *actually* listen and hear *exactly* what others are saying. HAVE to learn to identify the difference between a differing *non-hostile* opinion and actual *intolerance*

because the world has already seen what happens when we FAIL and eventually we WILL run out of chances to get it right.

please at least TRY to give the benefit of the doubt in an appropriate situation.

i'll lead by example.

keys? even you. even now, i'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt DESPITE how you've treated me AND my friends now. because MAYBE you were actually key in the sketch and just having a bad day each time we interacted or MAYBE you have some sort of trauma getting triggered whenever you see my shit or we interact or whatever the fuck it could be, MAYBE you are feeling the pressures of a self discovery coming out journey and it's manifesting badly (yes i did notice that and if this is the case i would still wish you nothing but good will and luck with that, not sarcastic), or some combination, there's a million reasons and i don't know you, so i'm not going to assume or say anything for certain.

unlike some people.

but i don't think you're stupid. on the contrary, looking at your posts, my first 'assumption' was that you are actually very well educated and were just enjoying having fun and being silly. later and based on some things i saw, it occured to me that your education/upbringing may put you at odds or at a disadvantage with connecting with people online or having them understand you, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or them, it just means you're speaking different languages.

even the "tough love" thing could be a miscommunication/malapropism. it could also be internal denial because you had a loved one do that to you and still haven't come to terms with the actual abuse you were experiencing because "they knew best"

i've been there. but maybe i'm the one who's projecting just to give you the benefit of a doubt. is it fair for me to take out my own frustrations on random people? fuck to the NO. which is why i TRY regularly to keep that shit in line and my life private.

so i absolutely will not excuse you for being so blatantly dishonest about me either behind my back or to my face because even if you do think i'm being hostile (when i'm not), there's no excuse for that. no, i wouldn't excuse myself either.

that needs to stop in a general sense, and i know you KNOW you are doing that because you'd have to *actually* be the biggest fucking illiterate moron on the planet to not know at this point.

especially when i reached out to you before to try and resolve this calmly and you ignored me and then continued lying about me, yucking it up with anons and buddies like high school mean girls. officially. unironically. instead of doing an ounce of self reflecting.

and i didn't include those messages, but the continued disingenuity and callous misrepresentation is there. and especially the carving into my character to define me however you want without giving me a voice to speak for myself.

stop it. you know it. i know it. maybe you think i'm some country bumpkin cousin hick fucker who happens to conveniently be queer but is remarkably stupid or an easy target.

and maybe i am stupid for ever giving you the benefit of a doubt, but you don't get to rob me of my humanity or basic courtesy.

because YOU'RE human too. and you have a right to your thoughts and feelings and opinions, and i get that, and i support it

even if by some fucking bizarre coocoo for cocoa puffs alternate reality, butchlander were to become canon the way I saw it? i wouldn't gloat or celebrate or try to rub it in your face.

I would encourage you to keep liking what you like and keep being yourself, maybe even harder than before.

even knowing you wouldn't do the same for me. at least from personal experience. see any of the above. and if you think i'm a self righteous prick for it, so fucking be it.

but if you're going to be an asshole? at least own the fuck up to it.

oh, and by the way? i now headcanon that billy butcher once a month puts on a full body gimp suit and with ball gag to do some strange kinda unholy shit with fruit OR veggies (never both), and it HAS to be a waning crecent moon, because i fucking can. and you can't stop me. ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

gais... don't immediately assume hostility. please. i know tone can be hard to interpret through writing or typic and emojis help, and yeah, i know i can jump the gun too. but i try to take things told to me at face/basic value or read them in a neutral tone and i think it helps too.

but we should never be judging anyone before we know them.

[delusionaid]

A reminder that while I am usually very down to discuss ships, I have no default ships on my blog. Usually I'd add "not even canon ships" but there are no canon ships in Genshin in my opinion. Some ships are strongly hinted at and I might even ship them, but since not everybody does I don't just take them as given without discussion. So, if you want to ship something with me, just ask me about it, that's the easiest way to find out if I like it and could imagine writing it.

Please don't start interacting with me as if our muses are a ship if we've never spoken about it, even if you are of the opinion that canon seems to imply something and/or you know that I like the ship. All it takes is a short conversation upfront so we both know what's what. Even ships I adore I don't write automatically with everybody. Some of my favorite ships I am actually a little particular about.

This means, naturally, that if we're just starting to write and have nothing discussed, nothing is meant to be shippy. I don't auto-ship. (Exceptions are of course if it's specifically shippy memes or something and we both know we're cool with it.) What I might do without asking is write my muse having a subtle crush on yours - but that doesn't mean you have to reciprocate or that anything will come of it; same in reverse, of course.

[olderthannetfic]

There's a post currently circulating tumblr that says something like, "why aren't fandoms fun anymore? Because you keep policing people's headcanons and just making fun of people for having fun".

The irony is, that post was written by an anti. They have a DNI for proshippers and "people who think fiction doesn't affect reality" in their pinned. They've also posted in the main tags of certain fandoms to shame people who alter the orientations of canonically ace characters. (And meanwhile here I am, looking on with confusion as an ace person who honestly could not give a damn. Changing a character's orientation just to ship them, or because you want something different, or because you want to project, is not inherently phobic.)

They've also ragged on Zutara shippers, again in the main tags, for writing Katara as someone who's "soft and likes bad boys". In their post, they said she couldn't have either of those two qualities because "she's punk and she resisted authority", like that's somehow mutually exclusive with being soft and liking bad boys. But I'm pretty sure someone can be punk and still be soft. In fact, Katara feels like this canonically. She did assist in some uprisings in ATLA, and she was referred to as "motherly" at least once. And, well, we all know about Jet. So I'm not sure what this person is smoking.

For someone who claims to denounce fandom policing, and bad logic, they do an awful lot of both themselves. I've seen antis contradicting themselves before, so the phenomenon itself isn't new to me, but this one was especially baldfaced. It felt even slimier because of how truthful the PSA itself was.

--

"I Don't Do Drama" Says Person Most Likely To Start It

or whatever that old parody news article is called

(Yes, this is a longstanding pattern.)

[gilbirda]

Yet Another Fandom PSA - tagging ships

Hi, it's me again.

Today I come with a small (ish?) pet peeve regarding proper tagging - tagging ships.

(⬆ This is where the magic happens)

What should you tag in "Relationships"?

Tag only the main relationship(s) that show up in the story. The relationship the fic is really about. Is about siblings? Is about a romantic relationship? Is about a platonic ship? Tag that, and only that.

Note: For Romantic relationship, use Character A/Character B. For Gen and Platonic relationships, use Character A & Character B

Don't tag relationships that are not relevant, or appear as background.

That includes, secondary ships that develop in the background or are established "off-screen" and don't actually have any screen time in the fic.

What if I want to warn/describe a ship that does show up anyway?

You can tag them as background in Additional Tags, adding some information that nuance how they show up if you want. For example, if it's a mention, or past relationship or if it's a temporary pairing but not the endgame.

eg. "Background Character A/Character B" or "Minor Character A/Character B" or "Mentions of Character A/Character B" or "Past Character A/Character B"

You can also use the Summary to specify and give context in what manner these relationships show up.

Why would I care? Is just a tag.

There are many reasons why tagging relationships properly is beneficial for the fandom as a whole.

First of all, keeps your tags clean and simple. It is easier for people browsing the Archive to know at a glance what the fic is about if your tags give the right amount of information and nothing more.

Second, it makes very difficult to filter if you like a ship that's not as popular as others. It can get very frustrating expecting your favorite ship to appear only to get to chapter 13 and neither of your ship shows up.

Third, the "otp:true" trick can only do so much.

If this is the first time you hear about "otp:true", it is a filtering trick that will automatically filter out all fics that have more than 1 "/" ship tagged in Relationship, leaving only the ones that have just the main ship tagged.

ID has been added to the pictures as ALT text.

For more info, you can check out AO3 official Tagging FAQs and this helpful guide: "The Fanfic Author's Guide to Metatext" (This is the chapter about relationship tagging)

Here's more filtering tricks for AO3

As always this post is not meant to shame if you do or have done this. I have done this too.

I felt so bad when someone approached me and said "hey, your crossover fic with this ship is the number 1 fic by kudos when you search for one of the main fandom's small ship" and honestly? wake up call.

So there's that!

Remember to be kind and happy fandom! 🥰✨

[sunatsubu]

PSA ABOUT PHONE SCAMS FROM GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL IMPERSONATORS So. I almost fell victim to a really elaborate phone scam. Now that I've had time to process it, it's deeply unsettling how convincing the scammers were, and I don't know how far they might've gotten if it hadn't been for a tumblr post that I'd read recently, warning about these strategies. For the life of me I can't find that post now which is a shame because it explained the strategies very well, but I'll try to reiterate the main points I remember that helped me realize in time that I was being scammed. Hopefully no one else has to go through this but in case they do, may this help you recognize the red flags MUCH earlier than I did. (if anyone knows of the post I'm talking about please let me know! It went into a lot of good detail of what to watch out for)

I'll try to summarize how it went down first. I was called by someone claiming to be from the FTC. They gave me a badge number and a case number. They said a package being shipped to me from Mexico was intercepted, and contained illegal drugs and huge amounts of money, that my name was used to open accounts at multiple banks, and that my name was also used to try and claim some property in some random city/state I'd never been to. Of course this was immediately alarming to me and I start freaking out, but they then reassured me that after a background check they determined this is most likely a case of identity theft.

The convincing part was how much effort they seemed to put into asking if I could remember any instance where my identity might've been compromised; like they were legit trying to investigate the case in order to catch the actual culprit. So of course I'm trying to be as helpful as I can. They haven't asked me anything specific like bank accounts or SSN, so no obvious red flags.

Then they go into the steps I needed to take in order to establish I'm not the actual criminal who tried to ship drugs across the border, that it really is a case of identity theft. They describe to me ADR (alternate dispute resolution), which I quickly looked up and seems like is an actual legal thing. Basically they were saying that if I chose this option I don't have to hire my own lawyer/show up in court/etc, that the US Marshal will on my behalf establish to the court this was a case of identity theft.

They transfer me to someone supposedly at the Department of Justice, who also gives me a badge number. This person goes into more detail about the steps I need to take, that because my identity has been used to open up all these bank accounts and shipping drugs to multiple countries, etc - that I would need to be assigned a new SSN. And to do that, they needed to know which accounts were actually mine; so they asked me to verify exact amounts in my bank accounts, and anything else that was directly tied to my SSN such as credit cards.

They kept reiterating that I needed this new SSN so that they can monitor my old one and be able to catch whoever is using it for all these illegal activities. They emphasized I should stay on the line, and to also not tell anyone about this ongoing investigation because the identity thief could be anyone I know. I'm still not getting suspicious at this point because they keep emphasizing they don't want to know any specific bank account #s or my actual SSN, because that would be illegal to ask for.

I then get transferred to the supposed US Marshal, again gives me a badge number. Again going into more detail on how to secure my actual accounts so they can close out/track the fake accounts. He starts getting more into detail about securing my bank account and how I needed to go to the bank in person. He emphasized that I shouldn't tell the bank teller what was going on because they could be involved in the crime, or something about money laundering, I don't remember exactly what the explanation was.

This is the point I started getting suspicious; I remembered specifically from that tumblr post that the scammers will want to keep you from revealing anything to bank employees because they are trained to recognize scams like this. I continue the conversation though, and the 'US Marshal' goes on to say, in order for me to secure/establish this account as truly mine, that I need to withdraw 50% of my funds from it in cash, and not a cashier's check. THIS is the point I realize what's going on, and I stammer out something about wanting to verify the badge numbers they gave me, and quickly hang up.

Things they did that made it believable: - Giving me badge numbers and a case number - Reassuring me they don't want to know sensitive information like SSN, bank account numbers, etc. - Seeming genuine in investigating how my identity might've been compromised - Citing actual legal pathways like ADR - The way they slowly ramped up the urgency so as not to come off as suspicious too suddenly. They worked up my fear from a more believable scenario (that my identity was stolen and being used for criminal activities including opening a bunch of bank accounts) and used that to justify the steps I needed to take to secure my own actual accounts.

Things that should have been red flags: - I was too panicked in the moment to notice right away but I'm fairly certain all 3 people I talked with had the same accent. What are the chances of that for 3 different employees at supposedly 3 different government organizations? (these were things that thank god I remembered reading from that previous tumblr post) - they kept me isolated by claiming anyone I know could be the actual culprit who stole my identity. - They urged me to stay on the line as they continued to transfer me to the next person, keeping me from calling anyone else. - they said not to let the bank teller find out what was going on

Things I did not know but learned, either from looking up myself or from the FTC when I called to report the incident: - Different departments don't actually communicate very closely. So they'd never transfer me from department to department the way the scammers did. The FTC for example wouldn't be able to ask the Social security department to issue me a new number. - Nobody from the FTC will give you a badge number or ask you how much money you have in your accounts.

Steps I took afterwards, because I'm fairly certain I never gave actual sensitive information, but in my ramblings to try and be helpful with their 'investigation' I might've said something compromising. - Called the US Marshal office just to triple check; they almost immediately said it was a scam as soon as I mentioned 'badge number.' - Called the FTC to file a fraud report - Called one of the credit bureaus (Experian I think) and placed a fraud alert on my credit activity. This automatically applies to all 3 bureaus, and lasts for a year - Changed my bank acct passwords

I feel pretty stupid in retrospect at how panicked I got, but I do feel like they were very good at manipulating my emotions to believe them for as long as I did. So as embarrassed as I am to admit I almost fell for this, again hopefully this might help even 1 other person spot the red flags early enough.

[stormblessed95]

idk wh after the taekook story, it feels like are you sure is a but fake considering it was a show that was going to air, and like I know they have a good friendship or relationship but it does not seem as deep as taekooks bc I have never seen jk do something like that like going on an hours long airplane ride to visit someone bc they said they missed you. I mean jk will prob never do that for anyone else, ( which isn't a bday gift or obligation) . So I sort of feels one sided even on the show, and all the teasers it feels for jk it's like an thing or task to do rather than something he r3ally wanted to do deep inside esp with jm. It's like if no one is there jm works you know, unlike where he consciously made a decision for tae. I have only ever seen jm initiating never jk.

This is what I meant when I said bitches get a cute moment and can't even appreciate it. Lmfao I could walk you through this and would be willing to have an honest conversation with you anon. But you've gotta leave the fake bullshit at the door. Otherwise you just get GOT shamed.

And no, I'm not opening this up for people to start re bitching about tkkrs, I get it. I promise I do. This is me just rolling my eyes but telling anon they can DM me if they want to be better. And you can still ship whoever you want AND be better anon..I'm not trying to convert you. Just tell you to ship your ship and leave other bonds out of it! Thanks.

Ending with my PSA as always to get your information from the members and not shipping circles!! Thank you everyone 🌈💜

[madstronaut]

WIP WRITES RIGHTS NOW! I SAID WIP WRITES RIGHTS NOW

blahblahmaster rant list link blahblah dont look at me

PSA when you only just discover a moot is a prolific writer you run to read all her writing and comment in excruciating detail cc: @gemmahale

blorbo x named oc fans, this one’s for you (it’s me, im talking about me)

please see below a random and incomprehensive ramblelist of my stream of consciousness as I sampled from gemma's works:

Feylands WIP

I find the content warning tags extremely titillating (also I have not seen such a prolifically well organized tag list AND color coordinated to boot like gemma’s blog???? putting my outlook inbox/work docs/excel sheets to shame!!!) and I don’t even read/like fae stories (yes I never read ACOTAR and I don’t plan to anytime soon, I missed that booktok ship, most likely cos im not on the tikky tokky as the children like to say, i watch the reposts on instagram like a proper mlllenial)

Josephine’s heart pitter-pattered at the compliment, heat climbing up her cheeks as she mumbled a thanks, their eyes locking again. 

🥰🥰🥰NOT THE PITTER PATTER

my inquisitive ass is already like “what’s gary’s real name” and “hearing aid = soap b/c of all the damn bombs he blows up?” “but i headcanon gaz with freckles, maybe it’s gaz? gaz = gary?” “or maybe ghost = gary?” GEMMA GIVE US WIPS I MEAN HINTS PUT ME OUTTA MY MISERY

Call of the Wild WIP

I love the little note gemma included about this being inspired by @deadbranch (shoutout to branchy btw my beloved) - honestly floored at all the beautiful fic/headcanon/drabbles/askfills ive read that are the brainchilds birthed from love for other creators’ brainchildren

also equally floored at how many of writers here are like “this incredibly layered/moving/tender/spicy/nasty fic came to me in a dream”

also SUBVERTED TROPES SUBVERTED TROPES SUBVERTED TROPESSSSS

Kyle cleared his throat, shifting his stance. “She prefers to be called a wolf.”

AHAHAHAHAHAHA GODDDD THIS WAS A ZINGER

“Please!” Kyle called back, face half covered in shaving cream.

i need fanart of this right fucking now let me, i mean shannon, sorry oops but haha..unless? finishing shaving you bby

and FUCKING ROACH IS IN THIS FIC HOLD ME BACK OR YOU *WILL* GET CAUGHT IN THE CROSSFIRE OF ME TEARING APART THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE BECAUSE MY BRIEF HYPERFIXATION ON ROACH IS BACK WITH A VENGEANCE FROM THIS SMALL SNIPPET AND IN THIS 500 PG DISSERTATION I WILL-

also THAT PROLOGUE APPETIZER SLAYED ME

“The way I see it, you’re fucked either way. You don’t make it out of here, you’re fucked. You become mine, you’re fucked - but in the good way.”

this + the mention of bulge + damp cheek definitely brought a visceral IRL memory for me (affectionate/horny)

also sidenote: it’s the little things that matter and gemma i see you gurl and salute you - incorporating things like hearing aids, mentioning roach is HoH/using sign language, shannon using a shower cap for her curly hair - 😘👌

Corporal Distraction WIP

holy MOTHER OF FUCK THIS SHORT LITTLE EXCHANGE IS FUCKING HOOOOOOOOOT

The captain moved closer to her, gently lifting her chin up with his finger. “So you’re the bird that’s got my sergeant distracted.”

“Sir?”

“Been trying to figure out what’s got Gaz so twisted up lately. Figured it was a partner, didn’t think it was a Corporal under him.” He didn’t release her chin, now holding it between his thumb and finger. “Has good taste, at least,” he muttered, eyes shifting to the Lieutenant, who only huffed in response.

any premise that fucks with/frustrates/sleep-deprives soap has my heart 🥰

Flowers From My Love WIP

the bit where they discuss the casserole perfectly encapsulates each of the boys imho - price grunting out a response, soap eagerly asking about the food (such youngest of the group/im baby vibes), gaz picking up on the note and name/# left, ghost grumbling and ofc he fucking HAS to bring up manchester- 

and the MOODBOARD!!!! God I fucking love when writers flesh out a bit of their worldbuilding with related art, moodboards, face claims, etc etc etc i WILL lick up every crumb from the floor like a starving doggo- fun fact, one of my first interactions in cod fandom was requesting a moodboard from @the-californicationist (also shoutout to cali my beloved)

and PEPPER THE SERVICE DOG OH MY LORD PLEASE GOD IF THE 141 MEN CAN’T BE REAL LET PEPPSY BE REAL PLEASE GOD IF I HAD TO ASK FOR ONE THING FROM THIS CURSED HELLSITE-

Palace Hallways WIP

my mind blacked out at artificer soap and knight kyle and druid ghost - I also just finished a campaign with my homegroup IRL not too long ago and we’re taking a long break before the next game while our DM preps and this is making me miss playing with them ;-;

Edge Dressing WIP

KATE KATE KATE KATE KATE KATE that’s it that’s the tweet

“She did, did she?” Kate murmured, scratching at Letty’s scalp and smirking as the woman went boneless against her.

yes only natural, i too would also go boneless if laswell was scratching my scalp and giving me a massage mommy? sorry. mommy. sorry? mommy. sorry?

Embroidered Secret WIP

if someone told me a year ago when I wasn’t into regency shows/fics that reading some COD AUs - yes fucking CALL OF DUTY, the military propaganda first person shooter video game - would change my mind - well id be more shocked than if someone flashed some ankle at my victorian pearl clutching ass

also please i love every single trope listed here

141 Studios WIP

“Our sweet soft girl Samantha (plus size rep ftw!) finds her niche quickly as the resident camgirl - creating a new set of films called "Tip of The Tongue", where she (and others) commentate on the scenes being filmed in a behind the scenes way.”

fuck i would read an entire multiseries for this premise alone???

Crew scramble around to clean up the sweat and cum streaked across the couch to reset for another scene.

fun fact - i briefly interned as a PA in college and one of the producers i worked with mentioned offhand that he once rolled up to a set that was cleaning up after a porn shoot and claimed they were rolling away literal barrels of lube 👀

“You the new girl?” His voice was deep, rumbling like stones cascading down a mountain.

NEW GIRL, OLD MAN, BLUE BIRD, CLOWN WITH A BUCKET HAT, I WILL BE ANYTHING FOR YOU PS!SIMON

A Protege’s Trust WIP

The most titillating tag of all..an empty one! lol jk im just messin with ya gemmy but actually yes i don’t see any posts with this tag

Museum Muse WIP

ahem you already know my rabid thoughts on this but noticed this new post re: multiple timelines and tbh do I know what’s going on? absolutely not - do I want to dive into this museum muse multiverse regardless? absolutely yes

Brix WIP

Re: “If it’s a story about learning to be loved again after a series of devastating losses, can that story then end on another loss? (And should the epilogue soften that loss by allowing them some sort of reprieve?)”

YES! i need to be in a certain mood to read angst but GOD WHEN I AM IN THE MOOD DOES IT HIT THE SPOT/FEEL SO CATHARTIC

also re: these comments - “Also, a bit of catharsis for my shitty experience working in the orchard industry.”

“It's less of a love story and more of a healing story. It's also a bit of a middle finger to the orchard that nearly hospitalized me. 🙃 (It's healing not only for the characters lol.)”

i find these types of fics are some of the best ive read when the writers have IRL experiences bleed into their writing - just has a certain je ne sais quoi about em

also i could be knee deep in sewage sludge and if i sensed soap within a 1 mile radius i would throw myself at him, brb busy handforging a trophy for annabeth for having enough willpower to continue working while JOHN SOAP MACATAVISH WHINES ABOUT WANTING TO COP A FEEL

Squeamish Stitches WIP

✨GLITz!!!! ✨fucking love this name

“God, I’d die here a happy man,” he grumbles into your thigh as you adjust your balance. 

His hands wrap around your calves, grunting as the treads dig into his shoulders. “No, between your legs.”

Ghost interrupts. “Keep it tactical, Sergeants.”

THE FUCKING BANTER? GHOST COCKBLOCKING GAZ? FUCKIGN SCREAMINNG

Useful Girl WIP

you had me at “we gonna get nast-ay kink-ay” and also got strong “secretary” with maggie gyllenhaal + james spader vibes 

also i had to look up ‘brown bottle flu’ as i’ve never heard that term before! ✨i learn somethng new with fanfic daily✨

She felt the breeze as the door opened behind her, the whiff of cigar smoke and cologne causing her to shift in her seat and sit up straighter.

if you’ve ever smelled/heard someone before you saw them it is *quite* the experience

“It's the prickle of the mountain's oncoming storm. It's the flapping of the flag in the howling wind. It's the explosion of lightning hitting a tree, splitting it open, part charred and part living - two states diametrically opposed to each other. It's the sigh of relief when the clouds finally part and the rain pours out. It's the breath of fresh air when the storm dissipates and everything is left clean.

It's yearning so hard for something that it leaves one fundamentally changed when they achieve it.

...I really ought to make moodboards for this fic. 😅”

this was an incredible fucking paragraph to read, fucking poetry right here, also incredibly erotic? though that might just be leftover brainworms in my head from watching shogun and a scene where one of the main charas describes an orgasm as “clouds parting after rain” 

Highland Tartans WIP

She reached her hand into his wool, petting him. “He comes from a good line and all, he’s just young.”

MacTavish laughed, sliding his hands to rest on his waist. “Aye, young and dumb. I know the type.” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

PLEASE GOD GEMMA

I CANNOT CHOOSE FAVORITES BUT SPARE A THOUGHT FOR MY FREE TIME AND WORK HOURS WHEN YOU POST MORE OF THESE AND AT LEAST SPREAD THEM OUT SO I CAN KEEP MY JOB AND PAY MY BILLS INSTEAD OF GORGING ON YOUR WRITING

anyway to sum up i am fully convinced the multiverse lives inside of gemma’s brain because goddamn i am convinced once day some god-tier epic space opera multiseries is gonna spring out fully formed like athena from the gemmamind (yes I compared you to zeus, a mythical god, deal with it)

[dotthings]

Erm. Okay. A little PSA: When you push very hard the idea that Sam is the only one Dean can *truly* love, when you demean Dean saying his love and heroism is limited, when you keep company with antidestiels, when you passive aggressively keep backhanding the ship, when you shame Destiel shippers yet won't open your mouth and say a word no matter how disgusting, vile, or hateful the antidestiel crew gets, when you tried to blame Destiel shippers for something an antidestiel obviously did, when you get downright butthurt because people point out how deeply Dean loves Cas...when you baseline acknowledge Cas as queer and in love with Dean (and do you want a trophy? That's baseline simple canon, congrats for getting past the low hurdle of media illiterate denialism on that one point), but then pretend you support the ship when you absolutely don't, because you don't accept that Dean loves Cas back, and you only want Dean to care about Cas to the degree you personally find acceptable. When you gaslight destiel shippers about canon, when you deny the queer coding on Dean's side, and it's very obviously motivated by jealously keep Dean emotionally exclusive only for Sam--which is not what canon does, whether Dean and Cas is platonic or romantic--you cannot expect people to believe you support Destiel. Or care about anything but Sam.

[oakthcrn]

Tolkien fandom, take a chill pill, please. People can ship whatever they want as long as it isn't inherently problematic, meaning it is a ship between two consenting adults, who the heck cares? Being nasty over a ship in RoP is unnecessary and sometimes in this world, there are things you're gonna be exposed to that you're not gonna like! Blacklist the ship, and don't follow blogs that ship it? See how easy that is?

I don't like plenty of ships in several fandoms, but guess what? I don't shame people that do! It's fucking weird and mean girl mentality. Let people like what they like. You aren't morally superior for not liking a ship, and vaguing people, and bitching about it isn't making you self righteous. Some ships are TOXIC, some ships are just not your taste, and that's okay, just don't be dickheads.

This PSA is brought to you by Jackie. Don't be acting like fools in RPC spaces now. There is too much tragic shit going on in this world to worry about what strangers ship on the internet.

[kerothi]

PSA: no one should be dictating what ships you can & can't like so idk what i missed but back in my day nobody ever got crucified for having fun with fiction and i guarantee it was a lot better in the rpc without the holier-than-thou little justice crusaders trying to shame everybody who don't have that rod up their ass. so tldr: you have every right to curate your own space, but so do i. regardless of what i do/don't ship, if i don't like the vibe you're giving off then i'm blocking you. and if it upsets you that i can see a picture of eren and levi kissing without having a tantrum about it, block me. we're not gonna like each other and i do not have time to care.

[sgiandubh]

Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego? The London Edition

My sophisticated endeavor of this long, free afternoon (hint: two fingers cut of each archer's hand) was interrupted by a PSA from C, for a very good cause:

Wee disclosure: I have spent my childhood in airports, courtesy of madame Mère's senior, then top level career in airline business. Rhinoair and its kind are a shame to this hard-working, formidably staffed global industry. They are scammers and profiteers, who killed the magic of airline travel - for magic and glamorous it was, once upon a time, before these dreadful low-cost rogues turned it into a boring and somewhat degrading affair. And don't even get me started on their borderline competition infringement ticketing and pricing policies. It would be tedious and very long to explain, but it is the sad reality.

Anyways, enthusiastic kudos to C for pointing out Rhinoair's disingenuous ageist attitude with such immediate vigor. And of course, a heartfelt fuck you to the company for such a condescending, heartless and cretinous communiqué. I was not expecting less from her and I applaud the civic gesture. Feisty, battling C is my favorite, always, and one of her most endearing traits, for it takes the courage of the heart to stand up against stupidity and abuse.

On the other hand, if you think she astutely geotagged herself via this post, you may want to think twice, since you probably did not bother to look for context. Her twitter reaction is related to a communiqué triggered by a very specific, very recent article from the Daily Fail - oops -, dealing with a customer complaint involving an elderly couple flying last Friday from STN to EGC:

Therefore, it proves absolutely nothing conclusive about her current whereabouts.

When she/they will want to be seen or heard of, we'll know. Calling all stations: this is not one of those situations. This is simply a daughter thinking, with good reason, that the same could happen to her own mom, if she were foolish enough not to fly BA or Aer Lingus (which I think she does, if only for convenience and way better service).

It's just Summer of Innuendo gathering speed, nothing more. Ship on. :)

Back to my sophisticated, but hopefully interesting next stop.

[monsterqueers]

You know, I can see why sometimes people think callouts are necessary;

When you are in a communal space and being harmed, or have suddenly become privy to serious harm, you want that harm to stop. One of the first things you learn on how to do that, once asking them to stop doesnt work, is to ask for help.

In small communities like forums or discord servers, you ask the community leaders for help. They talk to the person to make them stop or ban them from the small, non life-essential community. If the harm was bad enough they might encourage you to bring it to court (such as an adult soliciting nudes from minors in DMs).

Often this is done without the details being aired to the rest of the community (if the issue was in private).

But bigger websites like tumblr or twitter or youtube are not these kinds of small communities. Banning someone from a huge swath of the internet materially effects their livelyhood and ability to access community and care. The support staff for these websites usually take time to get to the case and often do nothing about it when they do because its not what they consider a TOS violation, even if its harm done.

This means if it cannot be solved by blocking, and you cannot leave because the space has things you need, your final tool to make harm stop is by airing the dirty laundry so social shame hopefully does something.

HOWEVER THE VAST MAJORITY CALLOUTS ARE NOT LIKE THIS

Most callouts are petty drivel attacking minorities (but especially trans women in particular) and filled with lies.

The person making the callout though, often genuinely believes that they are making harm stop like above though- because their definition of harm is much wider and includes things like 'trans woman having sex with consenting adults in a way I dont like', 'I was in conflict with my ex a lot because we could not communicate', and 'reblogged a fanart shipping naruto and sasuke once'.

They think that things that personally upset them out of disgust count as real harm. They think any conflict is always abuse.

Or at least, that is what the people making them will claim, and its hard to sort them from the true victims.

I think a notable part of why callouts are such a plague is because of the structure of social media as a whole. We dont HAVE the usual tools to curate our spaces well enough anymore and protect our communities from bad actors and people know this. Its the drawback of being so connected. They cannot see another way to do this, so they are loathe to let go of a tool that -in theory- can.

I think its something that is overlooked in conversations about this.

Its rare a plea to abandon callouts altogether has a feasable answer for 'what do we do with the confirmed serial abusers, scammers, and cult leaders that DO exist? How do we prevent them from hurting more people? They already had community support and love and they did harm with it. You cannot give them a rape babysitter a la the missing stair essay (of which the story shows works badly) over the internet. You cannot make them go to therapy over the internet and ensure it works. You cannot still act like nothing happened without making their victims feel unsafe and unsupported. What is there left to do?'

And honestly, I DONT have a good answer to assuage these concerns.

With new social media the way it is, with site moderators that only step in for TOS violations if that, how CAN we keep known serial bad actors with no true commitment to doing better from harming others except by warning people to not trust them?

Internet safety tip PSAs only do so much, and not using the megasites is not an option for most people either.

Trying to make callout posts be more accurate by trying to educate what is a calloutable offense has done nothing to reduce erroneous callouts.

People already commit to 'only spreading REAL callout posts', but they still spread bunk posts regardless.

It just... sucks all around.

-This post is not a perfectly worded and cited essay, do not treat it as such-

-This post is saying all the callouts crying wolf have ruined one of the few tools left to oust actual unrepentant serial abusers and scammers from communities without cop involvement, not that one should spread callout posts, dont clown!-

[more-than-a-princess]

17. When do you block someone?

More Munday Questions - Accepting!

As some of my mutuals can attest, I'm pretty bad about blocking people, even when I probably should. In general, I'm pretty particular about who I interact with in the first place. If I'm sure that a mun's posting frequency, writing style, and/or muses will not vibe with mine, I won't follow/follow back.

So, beyond that, here's a few reasons why I've soft/hardblocked people:

Forced an interaction on dash, particularly in the context of assuming I was playing my muse in a certain way without even asking. (In this particular case, it was assuming that I would just write Sonia as a Remnant of Despair, when I try to convey in my rules that this is usually my least favorite verse to write in).

Attempted to force a romantic relationship without plotting or buildup.

Showed general hate/bigotry/the things I don't want to see on my dash.

Non-RP blogs reblogging my threads/headcanons

RP blogs stealing headcanons

If they're clogging the dan.gan.ron.pa RP tag with one-liner askblog responses. I try to use the fandom RP to find promos for new blogs to follow and in the past year or so, it's been completely overrun with askblogs putting every interaction in the tags. As I'd prefer not to interact with any of these, I just hardblock them all when I see them.

But beyond that, the biggest thing I should block for is the following:

Excessive complaining about the RPC on dash.

There is nothing more unappealing to me than venting or passive-aggressively shaming someone's mutuals into writing with them. Whether it's consistently answering anon (or non-anon) OOC drama on the dash, PSAs, or just complaining that someone has no interactions/a specific type of interaction. Particularly if the mun complaining is barely writing threads, or has no active threads at all.

Listen: it's fine to feel frustrated. We all do! However, it is extremely discouraging, at least for me, to interact with a mun who is constantly expressing their frustration with their threads/drama/the RPC on dash and expecting their mutuals to interact with them after.

Vent to friends on DMs/Discord/elsewhere (I certainly do!), but on dash, you're going to have to be the change you want to see in the world.

Do you want more threads/interactions/ships/etc. but memes and starter calls aren't cutting it? Send asks to muns you want to write with. Send DMs and chat/plot with them directly. Be proactive. It won't always work out but that's part of being a roleplayer. You'll never stop putting yourself out there and yes, you'll get rejected quite a bit. But you will find your writing partners and friends who do want to write with you, who do understand you, and who really enjoy your muse(s) and what you'll create together.

I've been writing text-based roleplay for over twenty years at this point and in that time, I feel it's safe to say that people want to write with other people who are eager to do so. It can be tiring and disheartening when things don't go your way at times, but perseverance really is key in this hobby, and a positive attitude.

[thenightling]

The DISGUSTING new reason some people are against the Morpheus / Hob Ship (I can’t believe I have to address this...)

I run that really chaotic Sandman Facebook group so I have seen some weirdness but this morning I saw something that really unnerved me.

 There are people here who have survived trauma and have experienced real life abuse I am making this post for their sake.  To those who call the Morpheus / Hob ship "grooming" because of the "age gap" between them STOP IT!  KNOCK IT OFF!  Two consenting adults, no matter how big the age gap, are still two consenting adults.   Hob is not "Practically a child" and it doesn't make Morpheus a "groomer." You are diminishing the experiences of real survivors with this false comparison- this agist bullshit that shames adults in consenting relationships with age gaps (like Michael Sheen and his wife).   What I saw earlier today with that comparison, calling Morpheus a "creepy groomer" was not cute or funny. You infentalized a forty-something-year-old (to nearly seven hundreds years old) to try to justify thinking of the relationship with an older immortal as "gross."   And "wrong."   You compared a FORTY YEAR OLD MAN with an older man to CHILD GROOMING!  And you think that's okay?!???!

What you just did, whether you realize it or not, is perpetuated an old stereotype about gay men. There were PSAs in the 50s here in America that claimed older homosexual men would “groom” and “convert” younger men (and children) into the “gay lifestyle.”   You just accidentally channeled 1950s homophobia in the guise of “But the age gap!” *pearl clutch.*  

That is NOT funny!  Note:  This isn't about the relationship in the canon.  It has to do with fans being shamed for the ship in fan fictions, etc.