#// i wasnt gonna say anything but i woke up mad today

[kerothi]

PSA: no one should be dictating what ships you can & can't like so idk what i missed but back in my day nobody ever got crucified for having fun with fiction and i guarantee it was a lot better in the rpc without the holier-than-thou little justice crusaders trying to shame everybody who don't have that rod up their ass. so tldr: you have every right to curate your own space, but so do i. regardless of what i do/don't ship, if i don't like the vibe you're giving off then i'm blocking you. and if it upsets you that i can see a picture of eren and levi kissing without having a tantrum about it, block me. we're not gonna like each other and i do not have time to care.

[seiilo]

jealous heizou }

heizou woke up to see nobody beside him, usually there would be his husband, kazuha staring at him lovingly, but that wasnt the case today. it was confusing.

"zuzu? where are you?"

he tried to call kazuha but he didnt receieve (i forgot how to spell) a reply. but he saw a familiar figure coming into the bedroom he was in and his love was there! :D yayy!!

"is there anything wrong, dear?"

heizous eyes fluttered at the sight of his husband and smiled with his hands reached out for some reason, he closed his eyes happily and he felt a pair of warm arms and body around him. kazuhas lips touched heizous ears and commented, "

"

"you did not reply to me, sweetheart. is there anything the matter? after all, you did call me."

kazuha started to shower heizou with kisses so heizou knows that he loves him. heizou rubbed against kazuhas warm body and responded.

"why weren't you beside me?"

heizou was kind of upset, i know, its a silly reason but kazuha found it adorable :)

kazuha chuckled and grabbed heizous waist and picked him up.

"i chose to make breakfast for you sweetheart. am i forgiven?"

heizou slightly blushed and nodded wrapping his arms around his husband that was now holding him.

a few moments later just to get through the morning so theyre ready for the day:)

kazuha was hanging out with ayaka, yoimiya, and ayato. meanwhile heizou was doing his detective work whatever and my girlie yoimiya came up with a FANTASTIC idea >:D

"hey guys, how about we play a prank on heizou!! what do ya say?" -yoimiya

"it depends what prank we are playing. i dont choose to join if it is hurtful." -kazuha

"i don't see why not." -ayato

"im feeling bored, so sure!" -ayaka

yoimiya chuckled and told them her idea.

so basically she wants to make heizou jealous (for fun ofcourse) and kazuha is gonna hangout w ayato for a while and see what heizou does

after they all agreed and they started the prank

after a while :D

kazuha and ayato were hanging in idk think of a random place im lazy and heizou ran towards kazuha, hugging him from behind and showering him with kisses. kazuha turned around and kissed him once, unlike he usually would, hed usually grab him and make his face red. (aw)

and ayato played along yk continuing to talk and so did kazuha.

heizou knew something was wrong.

"zuzu? are you mad at me? hmm??"

heizou made a sad puppy face with caused kazuha to fight the urge to apologize and frik the prank but he managed and pushed heizou lightly away and continued talking (just to let ya know, kazuha felt SO. SO. SO. bad,)

"heizou, do you mind going away for a while, im trying to speak to kazuha and you're disturbing us."

ayato told heizou as heizou was starting to tear up a bit and he ran back home, as soon as he was out of sight, the two started acting normally.

"i feel so bad.. i want to go and apologize. but i cannot..." - kazuha

"i dont blame you. it was so hard for me to say that to him."- ayato

heizous pov

heizou was at home rn, and he was cuddled up in the corner of their bedroom and he was crying, thinking to himself

what if i get cheated on??

am i not enough for him??

why? why? why?!

and he continued to cry until kazu came back and he didmt care, he contunued to cry so he can show kazuha what he done to him (naughty kazu nya).

kazuhas eyes slowly widened and he shook his head,to remind himself ab the prank. (obviously, he would be upset to see his wifey cry www)

during the night, heizou was facing the wall, he didnt even want to feel kazuha.

morning as heizou was making breakyfast

kazuha walked across the kitchen until he saw heizou and approched him to hug him from behind and wrap his arms around him.

"hello there, beautiful."

"mh.. dont talk to me."

heizou was mad at kazuha for what happened yesterday. but he didnt push him away or anything.

"whats wrong darling? am i not allowed to hug you?"

"thats not the problem...."

heizou explained what happened yesterday in his view and kazuha immediately felt bad for him and started biting his cheek softly as a sorry. :)

"it was a prank heizou dear, yoimiya thought of it. did i make you sad? i am very sorry, ill give you whatever you want, i promise sweetheart."

"i forgive you..."

heizou slightly turned and kissed him back.

"i love you so so much."

"i love you too too too!"

the couple laughed together:))

tHe eNd......

or is it?...

nah jk it is

[harryfeatgaga]

saw some dude on some tik tok live shitting on harry and was talking about how he was going to film a fashion video tomorrow meanwhile the dude looks like he got lost in a kohl’s clearance section….let’s not speak on what we don’t know ❤️

LMFAOOOO BYE

Anonymous asked: Ben Affleck looked so miserable you could tell he and Jlo fought before the Grammys there’s a video of her scolding him and then laugh when she see the camera on them

HELPPKFJNUIK!??!?!?!

Anonymous asked: saw some tweet that was like “i’m just gonna look up harry’s racist tweets” as if that man didn’t only tweet song lyrics for years I just know whoever tweeted that hasn’t seen sunlight in days

literally bye good luck all ur gonna find is song lyrics

Anonymous asked: WAIT I LOVE HARRY LIKE IM HERE AS A HARRIE BUT IM ALSO HERE AS A DARKSKIN WOMAN SO "beyoncé’s fans are so fucking mean" AND BLAMING HER FOR STAYING SILENT IS NOT A COOL THING TO SAY. i'm saying this with kindness, but have y'all met harries. do y'all know HARRY? love him but when has he ever defended anyone his fans have come for? & as a white man it *IS* easier for him to speak up than it is for bey. all fandoms suck. lets not bring down a black woman lets just be happy for harry. thank you.

Anonymous asked: my last ask might be confusing sorry im responding to the anon talking about how beyonce doesn't do anything to stop hate and that somehow her rude fans means she is just as bad too. was not calling anyone racist in particular but i've just seen that sentiment a lot today and its made celebrating harry hard because it feels personal. idk why people can't ever celebrate harry without putting others down. beyonce was smiling and happy for him in the crowd

no yeah I dont think anon was blaming her I know I certainly wasnt but yeah it applies to all fandoms but hers are quite notorious for being....mean fbhcj she has a lot of male fans as well and men are just nasty so hfbhucjik as many other fanoms are aka swifties, bts and yes harries can be too absolutelyyyyy but yeah beyonce was literally happy for him people need to relax

Anonymous asked: ill get everyone trying to spread a false narrative adele did not leave everyone was happy for him and if people r mad about ben winston being a producer why do they not care about beyonces dad being a voting member of the academy and campaigning for her like first 20 grammys apparently

like as if ben has any actual say in the grammy winners themselves he just produces the show that is airing like

Anonymous asked: I just woke up and omfg the hate??? Ridiculous I feel like I need to cleanse my eyes. I can’t wait until Harry is out of the country so these uncultureds can leave him alone 😭😭😭

still havent seen too much and im glad so pls yall dont send it I really dont wanna see it lmao

Anonymous asked: I never thought I’d be telling her to gtfo of America like I need these people to leave him alone!!! Cant wait for him to shine at Brit’s and see no one pissed about it 😭😭

brits sweep incoming!!!

Anonymous asked: Fandoms hate Harry but their idols sure don’t

LITERALLY

Anonymous asked: i’m sorry but i’m still mad. does b deserve a grammy? yes. were a great majority of people dragging and not streaming renaissance at all? yes. if we’re going to war on somebody’s behalf, it should be uvst by bb because it objectively was the most streamed album of last year, but i fear twitter wouldn’t have liked that either bc a lot of twitter is still xenophobic as hell and refuse to listen to spanish music and it would’ve devolved into a conversation about ���why didn’t they give bb the latin grammys instead?”, which would have been xenophobic too but in a lowkey “progressive” way so i’m glad harry won bc i really don’t think a b win would’ve really been appreciated by twitter at all anyway bc it would still be about how they dislike the album or its genre or whatever billion ways they’ve tried to drag renaissance this past year when it’s literally always been a gorgeous album that you should have been appreciating from the get-go but now want to pretend like you’ve always loved it bc you love to be victims and somehow snubbing an album that twitter didn’t like just bc you like the artist and they are deserving of a grammy in general is a ridiculous hill to try to die on when i truly think b wouldn’t have liked to win an album for something that wasn’t well-received either 🫠

im shocked I didnt know her fans didnt really like the album but yeah she deserved it bad after lemonade like we all been knowing the grammys are fucked up im.very happy for harry and all hs peers there last night including beyoce looked happy for him 🫶🏻

Anonymous asked: So many famous people or you know social media known people made memes out of Harry saying “stuff like this don’t happen to people like me” and literally almost all of them took it down within minutes lmao idk why but either is the power of harries, the power of Jeff or the power of Harry, they should all shut up and let him have his moment! Especially when they do nothing with their sad miserable life pretending to be famous because of Instagram, try getting a real fucking job!

GOODBYEEEEEEE

Anonymous asked:

the grammys were never gonna give aoty to something like renaissance🤷🏼‍♀️ i. can tell you the grammys hates giving awards to albums with that many producers and they loveeeee when there’s a smaller number of producers and writers( they’re weird)🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ with it fitting into a sort of niche the grammys (sadly) are not up to recognizing something that was made for the black queer community i think renaissance deserved the award the most tbh but what beyonce fans don’t understand is that there’s 10 albums in the category…. and most of them deserve to be there (coldplay and abba nope but anyways) and you can’t blame harry because he deserved the award as well you have to blame the grammys😭 because the truth is this year was a solid category and she should’ve won album of the year long ago for her self titled AND lemonade😭 and now they’re trying to find a way to blame him by tearing everything he’s said apart😭 because now people are expecting him to act as if he didn’t deserve the award??? when he completely did??? and beyonce she just sits there and cheers and she genuinely looks happy for everyone who wins and she’s not about what some of her fans are about😭😭😭

IM JUST SO TIREDDDDDDDDD THE AOTY WAS STACKEDDD EXACTLY LIKE YOU SAID FULL OF GOOD ALBUMS LIKE GOD

Anonymous asked: I’ve seen harries be equally as nasty when Harry looses things so I think everyone needs to realize that this stuff is not worth being a horrible person over because even though it’s online it still hurts. I hope a lot of harries will remember this feeling and not be so horrible to other artists so we can stop the hate circle

so true!!!

[pr0dbeomgyu]

BLURRY LINES

*＊✿❀LINE 9: THERAPY❀✿＊*

"taehyun wake up, we're gonna be late for class,"

y/n woke up with beomgyu banging on taehyun's door. it wasnt really the first time he had done this, but why does it sound so much louder this time? she tossed and turned in the bed, trying to sleep again.

"shut your loud ass up, gyu. i'm awake," taehyun groaned, his voice a few octaves lower than usual when he finally opened the door.

y/n squinted her eyes, trying to get used to the brightness, cursing under her breath when she saw beomgyu glancing at her.

shit, im still in taehyun's room.

this really doesnt look good, beomgyu finding her in taehyun's bed, and it is certainly not helpful that taehyun is shirtless, again.

"oh, i see why you woke up late, i'll just wait at the living room," y/n heard beomgyu snicker as he left.

"why the fuck are you shirtless again?" y/n asked, her voice laced with annoyance.

"is that how you treat someone who gave his bed to you?" taehyun shot her a glare, definitely not having her shit this early, not with his sore back and neck cause he ended up sleeping on the table.

"it's just a habit, if you're so desperate to know," he left to take his shower.

y/n sat up, feeling a bit guilty for sleeping in his bed, but her ego was clouding her thoughts, so she believed it's partially his fault too. she was about to reply when she heard him enter the room again.

"I-"

"why are you still here? you wanna see me get changed or something?" he asked the moment he entered the room again.

y/n's head snapped towards the source of voice, eyes widening when she saw taehyun, water dripping from his damp red hair, the only thing he's wearing is a towel which was loosely hanging around his waist.

oh shit

"oh god, you're so full of yourself," she replied nonchalantly, (at least she tried to act like it) stepping out of the room. finally out of his sight, she let out the breath she didnt even know she held in. damn, y/n gotta say she was a bit surprised she could even form words to reply, you know, given the view just now.

fuck taehyun and his sexy red hair and his hot body

y/n heard someone laugh beside her. well, she she might've or might've not said that out loud.

"are you okay, pretty. you look a little bit red there,"

it was beomgyu. for some reason, he was smiling at her, a teasing one.

"oh dont even start. it's NOTHING like you think,"

"hm? what do you think im thinking, princess?" he leaned in towards her, staring into her eyes.

god, what's up with them. one's so in love with himself and the other one is flirting all the time.

"whatever, im not having your shit today, beomgyu," she replied irritably.

"oh, you know my name?" he gasped dramatically.

"of course, taehyun told me the other day. anyways, dont you dare tell soobin whatever you thought had happened," she warned.

"well, i kinda did that already,"

y/n was about to lock the door when she suddenly remembered that it was her turn to take out the trash that day. grimacing at the thought of taehyun getting mad at her, she trudged back lazily inside to retrieve it, stopping by the fridge when she saw new scribblings on the piece of paper.

MASTERLIST | NEXT

TAGLIST :

@gyuuss @btxtreads @terrytaehyunnies @miraculyfe @yoonkeehoe @derinxfam @snowfalltxt @taehyunsfel @letmeal0ne @cosmiclele @247byun @cerisetalks @meowtella @shrutiajit @msxflower @lomlyeonjun @lokideadontheinside @arminandjeanandannieandhange @nycol-ie @00-baejin-05 @summery-bat @txtville @wkhdery @stray-bi-kids @mintbgyu @she-is-dreaming @junniesavidreader @sunflowerbebe07 @simpforscoups @multi4lifer @beomjundiaries @whoe-dis @ahnneyong @kac-chowsballs

SYNOPSIS :

if there's anything y/n's good at, it's differentiating her feelings between love or hate. it's so distinct, she really doesn't get it when people say they have mixed feelings about something, cause to her, love is LOVE and hate is, well... HATE. LOVE is like her feelings for prodsputnik, an anonymous soundcloud artist she adores which she may or may not have a stan account for. HATE is like her feelings towards her roommate, kang taehyun. she even claimed that researchers are bullshitting when they say there's a thin line between hate and love. but what if y/n figures out that prodsputnik and kang taehyun is the same person? will the line between love and hate stay thick and clear as fuck (y/n's words) to y/n or will it get blurry?

[kwonhoshi0]

𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐤𝐢 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬/𝐨 | h.c

navigation | requests : open | 25th march 2021

pairing : denki x gn!reader

genre : angst to fluff

themes : established relationship

request : angst to fluff hcs idea! denki hearing his S/O talk about their day and Denki being a little mad about something else that day he explodes his anger to her and he says "will you shut the fuck up? damn im so fucking tired of you". His S/O avoid him the following week even at work. Denki, feeling alone he asked his S/O what he did wrong. And then his S/O, almost crying, tells him what he did. He felt so guilty and bad and was finfing the way how to make it up to the. Thanks :)

note : i’m changing it slightly so they’re still in UA :p

[ denki ]

> you literally don’t argue

> in your 2 years of being together you’ve argued probably only twice and that was about safety it wasn’t out of spite it was out of concern

> obviously no one likes fighting but you both despise not being able to talk to each other as normal

> you’re the couple who do tiktok dances and play stupid pranks on eachother even if it takes hours of denki bribing you

> you have date nights every other day

> so when the bakusquad don’t see you together for a week they get a little concerned

-> scenario

> today had been a particularly tiring day training, everyone was tired but denki seemed to be going hard on himself

> he was mad at himself for not being able to withstand a certain amount of electricity before short circuiting

> since you were also busy training you couldn’t reassure him or make him feel better

> as soon as training ended denki headed to his dorm room laying face in his pillow

> you had arrived a little after him with mina and since he wasn’t playing video games downstairs you figured he’d probably be showering or something

> “hey denks” he just made a grunting noise as you sat on the bed

> “it was kinda fun seeing how far everyone could go with their quirks, oh and at one point i went against mina and her new moves are so cool, i wish i could’ve used that move you helped me make but there weren’t many chances to use it”

> you looked back down at the blonde his head was still in his pillow, you nudged him a little “how was your day love” you laughed a little at hid position

> “oh i think i saw you fighting against kiri you were doing so-”

> “do you ever shut the fuck up, i’m so damn tired of you y/n” he turned over slightly staring at his ceiling

> “what-” you were confused he’d never snapped like that

> “god you’re so annoying” he interjected you scoffed not wanting him to see you upset

> “right, you won’t be saying the same thing when you’re begging for my attention”

> he hadn’t really caught your words, he didn’t even realise what he had said

> when you got back to your room you overthought it a lot how long has he thought that about me, did we just break up

> you knew you were overthinking but that didn’t stop you from crying about it fuck has he really thought that shit about me from the beginning, that he’s tired of me, that i’m annoying

> you avoided him like the plague that night, you didn’t go downstairs much and usually you kept your door unlocked so he can sneak in but you locked it

> it hurt a lot knowing he thought that about you

> you went downstairs to grab a drink kirishima bakugou and sero were sat playing video games

> “hey y/n are you gonna play tonight?” you shook your head and walking over to him to see what theyre playing

> “you okay? you look tired” well i am tiring apparently

> “yeah sorry, just tired” you lied

> “oh in that case you should rest!” you smiled at the redhead nodding at his words

> “oh and y/n kaminari seemed worked up when we sparred earlier is he okay” you winced a little before pretending to have not heard them

> you opened the door of your room and struggled holding your water phone and books

> “hi sunshine” a sleepy voice that usually made your heart race except it made your heart rate speed up for a different reason

> you quickly closed the door and locked it sighing

> “y/n? what happened? is this one of your pranks you’re not getting me back by locking me out”

> the next day you woke up slightly earlier than usual, denki usually woke up late anyway so you took your time

> you walked to your class with bakugou and kirishima and sat in your usual seat

> when denki arrived he was a little confused since you hadn’t stumbled into his room at 6:30am and cuddled him until your alarm went off

> you didn’t have breakfast with him or walk to class with him

> you hadn’t even looked at him this morning and it scared him

> he wanted to talk to you but aizawa walked in making everyone sit in their seats

> for sparring partners you paired with bakugou since your quirks are pretty compatible

> during your sparring session you had pinned his arm behind his back which meant he fell on you since you were both so unbalanced, he had his arms on the ground caging you beneath him

> the electric type stared in jealousy wait is this why they’re acting weird? because they want to leave me for him

> fucking dumbass no just don’t hurt my feelings🌝

> you sat with the dekusquad since you’re friends with all of them

> it wasn’t too weird to others since you and the deku squad are pretty good friends

> you successfully ignored him for another school day but there was still the dorms

> “oi dumbass we’re doing movie night you comin” you smiled at the blondes softness towards his friends “sorry i’ve got uh homework”

> “uh homework?” you glared at him “you know what i mean”

> he rolled his eyes before going back to your friends

> denki watched from afar he wanted to make you smile, he wanted to do that so why weren’t you letting him

> “y/n” you froze a little hearing his voice so pleading but you shook it off and went to your room

> the next couple days were hard you didn’t know where you stood with the boy and you were honestly afraid to find out

> denki had tried to talk to you but everytime he did have the chance he chickened out afraid you’d say you don’t want him anymore and that terrified him so much he couldn’t think about it without tearing up

> it had been about a week since what happened and everyone noticed the atmosphere

> you both looked miserable and you wouldn’t be caught in the same room together

> “oi y/n open up, Now dumbass” you groaned letting the blonde in

> “what the fuck is going on with you and dunce face?!” you sighed

> “i’m not exactly sure” that wasnt a lie, you don’t really know where you stand with him

> “explain”

> “i went to his dorm as normal and he told me i was tiring and annoying and asked if i ever shut up.. it may not seem like much since you say that all the time but it’s the way he said it, he said it with so much hate, just didn’t feel great i guess”

> “just suck it up and talk to him, you don’t know what he’s thinking so find out”

> “and what if he wants to leave me”

> “then fuckin let him if things are meant to work out they will, besides i’m not doing this out of kindness, you’re uh not at your strongest during training so”

> you smiled a little hearing the blondes excuses for caring about his friends

> just as you let bakugou out denki watched and looked at the ground feeling tears in his eyes

> your eyes widened a little as he pushed open the door letting himself in

> “i don’t know what i did but you could’ve broken up with me before dating him you know!”

> you furrowed your eyebrows holding back tears

> “is that some sort of fucking joke denki?, you can’t tell me i’m tiring and annoying asking me if i ever shut up and then accuse me of cheating when that was very clearly your way of telling me to fuck off”

> just as he was about to ask what you meant he remembered what had happened that day, he was so tired and caught up in his own anger that he had forgotten

> “what the fuck, y/n i’m sorry i’m so sorry i didn’t mean to say any of that.. i shouldn’t have accused you of anything or taken it out on you” he let a tear slip out staring at the ground

> you thought about it and scolded yourself for overthinking so much

> “can we be okay y/n.. i love you even if i don’t deserve to”

> you sniffled a little at his words before smiling “do that again and i’ll fucking gut you”

> he jumped towards you with a grin on his face engulfing you in a hug

> “i missed this, i missed you so much baby”

> you nodded into his neck “me too”

A/N : pain only pain, i barely see any denki angst to fluffs so i’m here feeding my people😫

taglist : @todoroki-shoto-is-life @blazedbakugou @luluwiie @blue-gold-demigod-clouds @gazelle-des-pres @gaysimpsstuff

[tomdiddlyumptious]

Can u do a Tom Holland x black reader

Where there relationship has been secret for a while and reader confronts him while there with the ffh cast at a get together and they have a huge argument in front of everyone and reader starts to think he wants to keep her a secret because of what she looks like . Ending in fluff

YES. BTW IF ANYONE ELSE HAS REQUESTS THROW THEM AT ME I NEED TO MAKE IT UP TO UU GUYS🥺

Summary: huh-

Warnings: uhhhh- a dick thomas and a faking it andddd- NOW NOW NOW NANANANA NOW YÆS- jk fluff

A/n: AYO CHILL WITH THE FOLLOWS-AHHHH I LYSMMMMMMMM-

You wanted to not care, you wanted to act like your feelings weren’t hurt- but it wasn’t true, it wasn’t fair. You sigh and laid in bed with him thinking about everything you gave to him, everything you’ve done for him.....but he can’t even take you outside? What the fuck, no really. What the actual fuck.

Your blood boiled on the inside out, just looking at him clouded your mind with all these negative thoughts. You didn’t want it to happen but you couldn’t help it, and since you refused to shed a tear your head was pounding and lips slightly chapped. Hearing his moan made you jump a bit, turning your back to him as you acted sleep. “Y/n?” He whispered, turning enough to look at you and smiled, leaning over to kiss up your arm all the way to your cheek as he took his hand to rub your waist. “Y/n wake up, I wanna make you coffee” he chuckled, biting your ear before kissing it. You opened your eyes and tried best not to laugh, just something about getting caught always made you giggle.

“Hmm?” You let out when he pressed a kiss to your lips, “I wanna make you coffee” you smacked your lips and laid back down “Thomas I’m still tired” lie, you just wanted time to yourself to think about what your gonna do. “Pleaseeeee y/nnnnn!” He shook you and you groaned “fine” he smiled and bit your revealed shoulder making you squeal and try to wiggle him away leaving him laughing at you before he stood up and walked to the kitchen.

“Soooooo” he tried to ease the sudden tension sitting at the table, looking at you drinking the coffee. “Yes?” You looked up at him, placing the mug down. “Uh, I don’t know....just wanted to speak to you ya know?” “Nah I don’t” you shook your head and he furrowed his eyebrows at the mean comment, wondering what went wrong, but he knew better to bother you or else you’d go off the chain. “Zendaya wants to see you” Tom smiled, putting his hands in his lap and rubbing them together while he looked away from you. “Really?” You asked.

It was like a child and their independent, self centering father were talking....the silence loud and the father barely even caring...or at least that’s what it looked like. “Yeah, and so does Jacob, haz, Laura and tony” he cheered up, excited to see you happy. “When?” You grinned as he chuckled, “today, we have to go for lunch” he moved his chair closer to you and pressed a kiss on your forehead before holding your hand. “I love you so much, y/n” it wasn’t the first time he said that, but when he did it sent you unplesant chills as the angel and devil on your shoulders agrued.

‘If he were to love you then he would show you off’ ‘y/n no, he might be scared to’ ‘what is there to be so fücking afraid of, listen to me’ ‘stay positive! You both are gonna get there’ ‘you’ve been dating for multiple months, it’s not even fücking dating it’s like a fling at this point, just a longggg fling-‘

You cut them both out and looked at him “I-I” you choked. “Don’t worry you don’t have to say it, I already know you do” he chuckled.

‘What a cocky bitch’ ‘he just said he loves you!’ ‘He’s laughing at you because you can’t say three simple words’ ‘he’s not pressuring you into doing anything, listen to me!’ ‘You’ve been getting negative signs every single months, it’s time to fucking move on’ ‘just give him another chance! He can change!’ ‘He won’t y/n, he wont’

You didn’t know how to stick to, your angel couldn’t fight anymore because the your devil kept pointing out the larger things and storing up the pot, you chose angel this time and decided to give him one more single chance, after that it’s done. You know your worth.

You smiled up at him and put a kiss to his lips thanking him “it’s no problem princess”

After that whole shannanagin you washed the dishes and took another nap on the couch this time, you wanted to watch Disney+. Tommy woke you up and told you to get ready so you did, just something comfy like sweats and an oversized hoodie with some uggs, he wore jeans and a sweatshirt per usual. “You ready?” He asked watching you when you looked up and nodded, he smile and held his hand out for you to take and you put it there.

‘He’s using you!’ ‘He’s being nice!’

You told your conscious to shut up mentally and then poof they left, the ride was silent and playing some random songs that you couldn’t catch while he tapped his fingers on the wheel.

Once you came in the small quiet restaurant you all sat around the table saying hi to each other, tom sat next to you on the right and on the left was the boys while the rest of the girls sat across from you. Food was ordered and you all were chatting “sooo I see that you two are hanging out a whole bunch...what’s goin on?” Zendaya said. You looked at Thomas “no we aren’t together” he laughed “she’s a friend”

That hit so deep. To deep. You only nodded your head and filled your cheeks with air, Tom looked at you with a smile, his eyes happy too. “Yeah just friends!” You agree, “right” he said after, you released the air in your cheeks and bit the side of your lip. “Cool” Zendaya smiled and looked down at her plate.

Everything was normal for everyone else except you, the small people on your shoulders appearing.

‘I told youuuuu’ ‘y/n I never thought that I could agree with him’ your angel pointed to your devil ‘but I do, whatever needs to come it has to’ the devil perked up to the words, standing and walking to your ear before whispering all the things he’s done.

As you mind cakes up your eyes flare and nostrils perk and jitter, “I have to use the bathroom” you looked at Tom and he only shrugged but noticing the look in your eye he could tell somethings wrong. You stood and walked in the bathroom, your hands shook as you sat ontop of the counter, taking time to yourself to try and calm down but that’s all that you could think about. Trying to be respectful as possible.

Tom pretended to walk inside the men’s bathroom but instead came into the woman’s, seeing you stare at your hands. “Y/n?” He tried to be gentle. “What the fuck do you want, Thomas?” You looked up at him. “What-“ “get out” “tell me what’s wrong” he stepped in and the bathroom door closed by it’s self. “what’s wrong? We aren’t dating so what does that matter? Leave me alone” “I’m not leaving you a fücking lone, you need to get your act together so you can sit down with your fucking friends” he said sternly.

“What am I? Your fucking pet? Child? No the fuck I’m not!” You stood, walking over slowly. “I’ve tried my fücking best to ignore it, to suck it up, to hide it, but you fucking enrage me SO MUCH that I can’t help it!” “Shut up y/n your being to loud” “IM BEING TO LOUD? HERE ILL BE MORE FUCKING QUIETER!” You raised your voice louder.

Everyone’s eyebrows furrowed as they could hear your screams.

As you got closer he backed up more. “Y/n please-“ “what thomas? You dont wanna let everyone know what a fucking bitch you are? The fact that you LIE TO EVERYONE about our relationship”

At this point you were so blinded you didnt notice that you were infront of everyone.

“Why do you hide me away?” You genuinely asked, and suddenlyyou were crashed by a sudden rush of anxiety. “is it because i dont look like your past exes?” He was backed up against the table as you stopped right infront him, your eyes started to water as he didnt reply.

“Y/n i-“ zendaya harrison and jacob looked at tom too, it was clear what the problem was and zendaya was getting kinda mad and was waiting for an answer.

“Thomas” you begged and he had nothing, he said.... nothing.

Tears fell down his cheek as he watched you sniffle and rub your nose, grabbing your bag and running out.

Everyone watched him in silence as he leaned back into the table “excuse me” the lady gently said, tom noticed it wasnt his table so he only walked out of the store and waited outside.

He watched as you pulled out of the car but he didnt even feel like trying to make you come back, you do need to have some time to yourself.

“Fuck” he let out, wondering why he didnt say anything nor do anything. Harrison walked outside and sat next to him.

“Why?” He asked and tom looked at him. “I dont know i just felt like- i felt like my fans were gonna hurt her” “but you did” harrison pointed at tom “you didnt even give a chance and she stuck by your side for how long?” Tom told away and as he speaked he noticed how much of a dick he was......is.

You cried in the bed while you had your things out, getting ready to pack them up as you could barely breathe choking ob your sobs.

What did i do wrong? What did i do to deserve this? Should i change?

All these things running through your head and distracting yourself from putting your stuff up.

You ened up crying your ass off, crying it longer then the months that youve both been together, its all that you could think about honestly.

So when he came home you didn’t even notice your head hurt and your eyes stung, cuddling the pillow while your clothes were on the floor.

He hated seeing you like this, it made him cry and something he couldnt suck up, so when he saw you hurt and hearing your weeps it instantly hit him and made him come over and sit on the end of the bed, uncontrollable tears falling down his cheeks while he let out matching sobs.

You sat up and saw him, your eyes drying as they filled with hatred you stood and walked but tom beat you to the door, shutting it and locking it behind you.

You pointed to the door silently asking him to let you out but he shook his head refusing to. You walked up to him and tried to take his hand to pull him out the way but instead he forced his arms around your neck to hug you.

“Get off of me!” You yelled muffled. “No” he simply said, kissing your head as tears continued falling down his cheeks. “Get off- please get off!” You tried pushing him but he wouldnt budge.

“You can hit me, push me, whatever you want but im not letting you go” he gripped tighter speaking into your hair. “Fuck you” you muttered and he replied with a ‘i know’.

You both sat in silence all day and he was still hugging you but you didnt hug back until you calmed down, sobbing into his chest. “Y/n, you’re the one i want, you’re the one i need. So im begging you please... just dont leave me” he whispered starring at wall, his fingers touching your hair and trying to sooth you.

“Im scared your gonna leave me tom” you look up at him with your chin on his chest. He looker back at you “i cant even think of it, darling” he rubbed away your tears “but why-“ “i was scared” “what is there to be so afraid of?” “My fans are terrible... at least the 12 year olds” he chuckled “im scared they wont see the same beauty i see in my eyes, id rather keep you to myself then share you with this cruel world”

He reached down and kissed your forehead. “But youve been doing it for so long and-“ you sighed “i didnt feel like it was that long, you made me feel like-like you took it away. Like i could spend forever with you and it woukd seem like it was just an hour or so”

You gave him a weak smile and he returned it, reaching to meet his lips you did, the kiss salty from the shared tears but no one was complaining, you both laid in the bed and he cuddled right behind you, while you were sleep he took a picture and posted it with the caption ‘couldnt ever ask for anything better, love you y/n’

After that he shut off his phone and returned to your side and pressed a kiss on your neck before falling asleep, safe and sound.

[zmayadw]

Evening all :)

Here is the next part.

Have a nice weekend :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 18

I woke up with the smell of coffe all over the room. I turned on my back, stretching. „Is that coffee i can smell?“ i asked, only my head peeping from under the covers. Jake turned to me from the desk, grin on his face „Good morning, sleepyhead. And, yes, thats coffee you can smell.“ I smiled at him, getting out of the bed. „Do you even sleep at all?“ i asked teasingly „When did you already had time to leave to get coffee so early?“ „Early?“ he said, raising his eyebrow, showing at the clock on the night stand. 10.25. I turned to him, grining „Hey, what to say, a girl needs her beauty sleep.“ I got up, heading for the bathroom, sticking my toung at him. He just shook his head, smiling. I left the bathroom, going to him and leaning for a kiss. I took the coffee from the desk, and my laptop, going to sit on the bed. I checked the mail and some job offers. I browsed the net for a while enjoying my coffee. I turned my look to Jake, smile forming on my lips, thinking how this all feels nice. As if he could sense me watching, he turned arround. „What you smiling?“ he asked, smiling at me himself. „Nothing, really.“ I started. „I was just thinking, how this feels so good. I mean, this, us, just being here, together. It's like..“ but i stopped then. What was I about to say, i tought, that this was meant to be? That we belong together? That this feels like love? „Maya?“ Jakes voice brougt me back from my toughts. He was looking at me intensly. I smiled at him „Never mind, im blabbering.“ He looked at me for a while, scaning my face, and i could see he wasnt beliving me. „Alright“ he said after a moment „But you know you can talk to me about anything, right?“ „I know.“ I told him, giving him a smile. His phone rang then, wich made us both jump a little, not expecting it. He answered it, still not turning his look from me. „Yes?...What, right now?....Fine, i'll get to it.“ He putted the phone back on the desk, running his hand through his hair in frustration. „Is everything all right?“ i asked, a bit of worry in my voice. He groaned „Remember when i told you how i kinda made a deal with some peole to be left alone?“ „Yes, i remember.“ I said, looking at him even more worryingly now. „Well, the call now.. thats the part of the deal.“ I looked puzzeld now, and Jake sighed. „I promised my 'services' in exchange for my freedom.“ „Oh“ i said. „Can i know more about it?“ i asked him. „No“ he said, and grinned „Its a top secret.“ I rolled my eyes at him „Can you be serious, please.“ „I am.“ He said „Look, its nothing you should be worried about, trust me.“ „But i am worried, Jake, and always will be.“ I looked at him, fear creeping at me „Dont you get it? The things you do, they got you separated from me once before.“ Just the tought of it squeezed my heart. „I couldnt stand if that happens again.“ „Maya, please, dont worry so much about it.“ he said. „I cant do that, Jake. Cant you see it? You mean so much to me. If something happens to you..“ my words got silenced, i dared not to say anymore. „Nothing will happen.“ He told me. „But you cant know that for sure!“ „You're right about that.“ He said „And thats the risk I have to take.“ His face got serious then „But i can promise you, that i will do everything i can to ensure nothing will happen.“ He sighed „I cant give you anything more than that promise. And i hope thats enough for you, Maya.“ „It is.“ i told him. „You know i trust you. But that doesnt mean i will stop worry for you. I just wanted you to know how i feel.“ „Thats fine, i want you to always tell me how you feel.“ He said, coming to sit next to me, embracing me in a hug. He kissed me softly, and i pulled him closer to me. He groaned with resentment „As much as i like where this is going“ he said, moving away from me „I have to go.“ He got up from the bed, getting dressed. „Will you be alrigh on your own for a while?“ he asked. „Ofcourse“ i said, and then i remembered. I cursed out loud, Jake looking puzzled at me. „I forgot about Phil.“ „Oh“ he said, giving me a simpathetical smile. „I better take a shower and go. I want to

be done with it.“ „Ok. You mind if i borrow your car? I'll be back before you leave, so you can take it.“ „Ofcourse not, you know where the keys are, go ahead.“ „Thanks.“ He said smiling, grabing the keys and heading for the door. He stoped as he opened them, turning to me, with that devilish glow in his eyes. „I'd rather be joining you in the shower, just to make it clear.“ I looked at him, walking backwards towards the bathroom, taking my shirt off slowly, grining at him „You are welcome to join me anytime.“ I bit at my lower lip, and i could see he was full of desire. He groaned in resentment. „You are so gonna get it for this.“ He said, leaving reluclantly. I laughed, as i entered the bathroom.

Jake got back just about as i was done getting ready. I decided to take some laundrey to be washed, since going to town eitherway. I grabed the last shirt, throwing it in the bag. I took my phone throwing it in my purse, turning to Jake. „Keys please.“ He walked to me, handing me the keys, pulling me in for a kiss. „Wish me luck.“ I said skeptical, him giving me an akward smile, and i left. The laundrey place wasnt far from the Aurora, so i parked the car there and walked to the Aurora when done. As i entered, Phil looked up from behind the bar. „I already tought you might not show up.“ He said, as i came to the bar. „I said i would, and i keep my promises.“ I told him, smiling. I wasnt used at seeing Phil like this. He was always cheerful and teasing arround me, and this new behaviour was kinda of a shock for me. What did you expect, Maya, i tought to myself. „Want some coffee?“ he asked and i noded. „Go sit at the booth, we'll talk there.“ He said, going for the coffee. I moved myself to the booth, my nervousness intensifing. Phil came, bringing two coffee cups, sitting across of me. „Milk and sugar, right?“ he siad, putting a cup infront of me. „You remember correctly.“ He took his cup, taking a sip from it, looking intensly at me. He settled it back on the table, leaning at the booths bench. „So“ he said, my stomach tightening in a knot „The hacker was your big mess, huh.“ „Yup, another thing you got right.“ I said, taking a sip of my coffee. I held the cup with both hands, hiding how much i was being nervouse. „Phil, I'm really sorry about last night. It was never my intention for you to find out about it like that.“ He was still looking intensly at me, but i couldnt see any anger on him. „I tried talking to you before it all, but i got interupted so manny times, it got me insane.“ „I noticed that.“ He said, and i continued. „Its not much of an excuse, i know. And i cant change how things turned out anyway, but i want you to know i am deeply sorry for it.“ He looked at me for a moment, not saying anything, my stomcah tightening more with every second of silence. „I belive you, Maya.“ He said finaly. And hearing him say my name, for the first time since i stepped in here today, made me relax a bit. „Thanks, Phil. Coming here today, i just hoped you wont be mad at me. Or worse, hate me.“ I said, a bit sadnes in my voice. „I told you before, i could never hate you, Maya.“ He said it so softly, my heart sinking a bit for him. „Not even now, after everything that happened?“ i asked, a bit in disbelief. „Not even now.“ He siad again, and i belived him. He took another sip of coffee, leaning on the table „Can i be honest here?“ „Ofcourse“ i said „We've been honest with eachother since day one.“ „Correct“ he said, taking a deep breath before he continued. „I kinda had a hunch when we talked before, that he was the reason you wer in such a mess.“ I said nothing to it. „And im pissed at myself right now.“ he continued, and i looked at him puzzled. „Because, Maya, if i havent waited, if i made my move at you earlier, right now, i might be the one holding your hand.“ My heart squeezed at his words. „Phil..“ i started, but he interupted me. „Its fine. I told you, If things wont end up in my favore, i would be dissapointed and heartbroken, wich i am, both.“ He looked at me, his eyes sad and tired. „But i dont hate you for sure, Maya.“ „Thansk, Phil, i appriciate you being hones with me, as always.“ I said after a moment of silence passed between us. „Can i just ask you one thing? And i would like and honest answer.“ „Ofcourse, ask.“ I said. „Alright. Then tell me honestly“ he started „Is he really the one you want? The one that makes you happy?“ I didnt hesistate with my answer, the words just flew out of my mouth, gentle smile showing on my face „Yes, he is.“ He looked at me curiously. „I thank you for your honesty, Maya.“ He said, and i smiled „Always.“ We sat there in silence for a while. „Phil, will you be alright?“ i asked finaly. He looked at me, smiling „I will be, dont worry.“ „Its just, i'd really like to have you as a

friend. But, i can understand if thats not something you'd be ok with.“ I averted my look to my hands now, nervouse to what he might answer. „You will always have a friend in me, Maya.“ He said, and i looked back at him. His face showed that he meant it sincerely. „Im glad to hear that, Phil.“ „Well“ he said after a while, claping his hands together „I think this needs to be watered down.“ As he got up, he smiled and winked at me before going for the bar. I chuckled as he left, thinking how all will be alright with the two of us. And i was happy about it, having him as a friend menat a lot. He came back with two shot glasses, handing me mine as he sat down. „Well, heres to new friendships!“ he chimed, rising his glas at me. „Here's to the 'new us'!“ i chimed back, rising my glas. He smiled at me, knocking his glas on mine „Not completly 'new'.“ He winked and smiled devilishly at me before drinking. I laughed, shaking my head „That's the Phil i know!“

As i walked back to pick up laundrey, i felt happy and relaxed. My talk with Phil went better then i expected. He became important to me, and i was happy i still had him as a friend. Getting back to the car, i took my phone sending Jake a message.

Maya: Heading back, see you soon :)

Jake: :)

I was almost at the motel when my phone rang. I found it with my free hand in my purse, quickly glancing at the screen, before turning my focus back on the road. It was one of those cursed calls. This time i answered it confidentaly, thinking here's the chance for Jake to trace the call. I answered the call, wich began as usual, with silence. But, all of a sudden, the sound came from the other side, a sound that sent shivers and chills through me - the sound of ravens cawing. My eyes opened wide in terror. I was so shocked by it, that i barely avoided crashing my car. I dropped the phone from my hand, grabing the wheel with both hands leveling the car back. Lucky i was close to the motel, i was shaking like crazy as i managed to park and run for the room. I bursted in, making Jake jump from behind the desk. „Please, tell me you got it!“ i yelled. He looked at me, dissapointment all over his face. „Sorry, Maya.“ I fell to my knees, Jake running to me. He held me in his arms, but i felt nothing. I didnt cry ,the shaking stopped, i was completly numb. „Why is this happening?“ i asked, Jake answering with a sigh „I dont know, Maya, but we will figure it out.“ „Will we?“ i said, looking numbily at the wall. „And when? How long will it take us?“ i said, not trying to sound accusatory. It wasnt Jakes fault, i knew he was doing all he could to help me. „Is all this suppose to make me go crazy?“ i asked „Because, if thats someones intention, they're doing a fine job.“ „Maya“ Jake started softly, but i moved from him, getting up from the floor. He followed, looking at me worryingly. ��I cant go on like this, Jake“ i said, meeting his eyes. „With every new call i get more confused with it all.“ I paused, sighing desperatly. „And scared, Jake. I'm terrified, actually.“ He moved to me, embracing me in a hug. „I wont let anything happen to you.“ I laughed histerical, making him release me from a hug, looking at me puzzled. „I almost crushed my car now answering that call, Jake.“ He tensed as i said it, anger and worry showing in his eyes. „You cant keep me safe from myself.“ I turned and headed for the bathroom, leaving him speechless. I closed and locked the doors, and just sat on the floor. I dont know how long I sat there, feeling numb, but for the first time ever,since the beginning of this all, i cursed the day I came to Duskwood.

[ifliamsmile]

These Four Walls And Me - Dick Grayson Imagine

Pairing: Dick Grayson x Reader

Summary: Dick, all titans and the reader went to a hard mission against the Joker. Something’s wrong and Dick dies, but is he really dead?

Warnings: Cursing, mention of smut, fights. *Y/S/H/N: your superhero name* *Italic means memories*

Credits: Thank you, @incorrect-titans-quotes​ for always helping me. i’d give up on this if it wasnt u.

Today is D day. The day we will finally do what we’ve been planning everyday for one month. To stop the Joker. Dick has done his best to the team, we train everyday with blinded eyes for hours. Because anything can be taken from you in a battle. I forgot to say that Dick Grayson is also my 4 years boyfriend, i may be suspect to talk about him as a hero and as a lover, after all..everything he does is pretty well done, so if there’s something we are in this moment is ready to catch this fucking crazy villain.

[4 PM. Titans Tower, Training room]

This was our last training, i had Dick watching us and Jason against me right now and it’s not easy, after all, the three of us had been trained by Batman himself. Me and jayson had our sticks so we could practice defence, no attacking. Blinded, i could feel Jason’s breath behind and when i feel the closeness of his stick, i hit it with mine

“Are you asleep, Jaybird?” I mock him

“Wait and see, Y/N”

“Be mad, Jason, but defend yourself, concentrate” Dick said in his particular tone.

Attack followed by defence, the training kept going. Every move was necessary. When both of us had properly trained, we followed to the living room, where we met the rest of the Titans. Dick wanted to reunite us so he could talk about tonight.

“I believe all of you are fully ready to this. But it’s a dangerous mission and i need to ask you all, one more time to be concentrated in this. Be fast, be confident, we are in a bigger number but it doesn’t mean he has no ace up his sleeve. After all, he’s the joker.” Dick has concern lacing his voice as he tried to make them all understand it wouldn’t be easy.

We had already fought agains many villains, but this one really had got us in alert. The fact is: Joker is a psychopath, nothing satisfies him more than provoking his targets, whether through chaos, fear, delirium. He’s been here in San Francisco, but this is our place, and he won’t mess it up.

“We can do that, we know the old train station, we rule here in San Francisco so i believe we have advantage” Kory said

“Yes, we will do that in the most titan’s style, this is what we do, guys!” Gar said with his notorious excitement.

“Be careful, smart and lithe. We’ve seen things the rest of you can’t imagine, when in Gotham, I don’t want it to happen here.”

“Don’t worry, Y/N, we’ll do our best.” Rachel says and hugs me. Since she came in, since the start, Dick had done everything to protect her and i may have got into this with him, because i see her as my own child.

We are a Family, every one of us complete our team, so that’s why 1 month of insane training. We are ready.

[ 10 p.m, Dick and Y/N’s bedroom]

“We will stop him, won’t we?” Dick asks while we were cuddling in bed, we took our bath and we were relaxing right now but something doesn’t seem okay, my black-and-blue Bird doesn’t seem that confident as he Always do.

“We will, love, because we strive for that. You’re our mentor, Dick and you’ve done everything so we could be hundred porcent compatible to him in this mission. Don’t worry that much. You, by yourself would detain him, i blindly believe it.” I tell him, filling him with kissies over all his face.

“Okay, okay, baby, i’ll relax, we’ll be lying here after that and we’ll make love like there’s no other day on Earth.” He says in my ear, I wish we didn’t have a mission to lead.

“You’re such a perv, Dick Grayson” I mock him and he starst tickling me.

“You make me, Y/N” and we kiss.

“I love you, D.” I tell him.

“I love you with all my heart, kitten” the surname he use to call me since we met.

We heard a knock in our door. It was Jason.

“Hey, Guys, C’mon, We need to go, he’s almost out of the old station” He says from behind the door.

“We’re coming.” Dick in his serious tone answer Jason.

“It’s time, love.” And we went to change in our suits.

[10:45 p.m, San Francisco’s Old train station]

We get there, to end it up for once. We recognize the place that we had already beat some bad guys. It is dark but with some old yellow lights, behind the railroad of the train, there is an abyss that’s the reason why this station is closed, there’s 2 trains in the railroad, and a misterious silence.

Dick was the first one to appear, he told us to stay back until the joker appears. We stay in the dark, Jason is already upside the train station.

“Joker, i can offer you a deal. I’ll send you right to arkham and you wont have to fight against all of us.”

When we least expected, he apperead. Not in the way we expected, he had a hostage. He was holding a woman by her neck, she had her 30 years or more, tiny woman with glasses.

“This fucking whore was dealing my penalty for criminal acts in gotham. She was going to send me to arkham, can you believe it? and she ran to San Francisco so she could be safe from me.” The freak laughs out loud in his own typical way. “I guess you all asked yourselves what the hell i’m doing here? This cunt is the reason, now that she’s gonna die, i won’t to Arkham anymore and i’ll be free.” More and more laugh, i can’t bare hearing this asshole laugh like this anymore

He knew we’d be coming, he knew we’d be after him, but he didn’t stop.

“You won’t take a life from a inocent, Joker, let her go.” Dick says, confident and being sure that tonight he has one point: stop him.

“You did surprise me this time, Nightwing. Do you really think i’ll be letting her go? This is the first time i see you so defensive, what’s up? Love has made you soft?”

He draws a gun. Fuck. He points the gun at her jugular.

“Where’s the rest of your team of dumbasses, Little Bird? Are you by yourself? Are you going to tell them to leave or i will have to kill her so fast? I wish I could enjoy a little more”

“We can end up in two ways, Joker, one: you let her go and we will solve it with no inocente lives. Two: i kill you.” I can hear anger, fury in Dick’s voice

We were hiding in the back of the two trains, me, Dawn and Donna.. Jason was up in the roof of the station, ready to act, and now it’s the our. I give him the sign.

In a minute lot’s of things happen, it’s like a movie is passing by our eyes

Jason used the birdarangue to hit the joker in the leg, at the same time Dick pushes the hostage and tell her to go. Dick and the Joker start fighting physically, it gets rough and when we move to get in, a loud noise got us mute.

The joker had a bomb. My ear aches, my head is about to explode, but my only worrie is: is Dick fine? There’s a lot of smoke and i can’t see anything but i try to get closer, i need to see him. Something in my heart say it isn’t good.

“NIGHTWING?” i yell and it only hurts more. I have no answer. I crall a bit more and i call him again. “DICK?” still have no answer.

“Y/S/H/N, I don’t know where Dick is, he was right here, he was fighthing the joker, he..i..don’t know” Jason says still confused because he was also too close to joker like Dick.

The smoke was going away, i could see Jason again, he was all blodied because of the fragments that exploded with the bomb.

I was slowly recognizin the faces around me, and i didn’t see my boyfriend’s face. I started getting anxious, i started feeling bad and i had no more air, where’s Dick Grayson? “DICK WHERE ARE YOU, please answer me, dick” i still had strenght to yell but i felt my vision blur and i have no more strenght to finish the sentence. Where is Dick, where’s him?

“Y/N, I found this, I’m sorry, I think Dick couldn’t make it, i think he fell in the abssys.” Hank gave me a piece of his uniform, the black and blue fabric of his Nightwing uniform.

I couldn’t believe, it was like there was no ground in my feet, i felt everything getting far, i could barely hear anything anymore, this was the biggest pain i’ve ever felt, everything hurted and i felt like had no more air to breath.

I fell on the ground, i called, i yelled for his name but he never came, i can only feel donna come to help me and everything went black.

[6 a.m, TitansTower]

I woke up in our bed, It all felt like a nightmare. I couldn’t believe he wasn’t here, I had to go to the living room. I wish I could have stayed in bed because when i got in the room, all i saw was sad faces looking right at me, and i couldn’t take it, he’s not there.

“Y/N, come here” Dawn says calling me to her side.

“Dawn, it was real, wasn’t it? He couldn’t make it, could him?” I sob and try to think straight but it is too hard. It was like one tonne had fall in my head.

“He couldn’t, Y/N, we can believe it, but he couldn’t” Dawn is in front of me right now. Holding my hands, she was trying to make me feel better but I couldn’t. I could only feel pain but this time something else appeared and it was anger, because the Joker took him from me and he would pay.

“Jason, call Bruce” I said in a serious tone and i left to our bedroom.

When i got there, And I, I wanted the sheets to take me under because I can't help but think, what if I had one more night for goodbye? He won’t be here to turn the lights off, it will be only these four walls and me.

I went to take a shower, and staring at the shower’s wall i just could realize the numb i felt.

“I would give the world for more time to look at you” Dick caressed my face while we were under the shower

“I think we’ll have a long time, baby, because i’m yours and i do not pretend not being yours someday..” He kissed me, grabbing my legs he pressed me against the wall and we loved each other.

It hit me like a truck, the feeling of griefing was taking me. I tried to eat but the lump in my throat got in the way, this feeling, this feeling that i don’t have Dick anymore, it wasn’t human.

I follow to the living room, because i need to do it. Jason has lost his mentor, his old brother, the image of everything he wanted to be. Rachel has lost her image of parent. Gar has lost his leader. I need to be there for him, but the pain crashes my heart in many ways.When I get there, I hug every one of them and I sob by crying because I know how it hurts to understand it, then I left to the training room. I need to put this out, I can’t stand anymore, I’m going to train, I’m gonna make the Joker pay.I start to hit the punching bag, I hit it multiple times and I felt like I was losing my control, I kick it, I punch it with all my strenght.

“You, by yourself would detain him, i blindly believe it.” I told him, filling him with kissies over all his face.

“Okay, okay, baby, i’ll relax, we’ll be lying here after that and we’ll make love like there’s no other day on Earth.” He said

“You’re such a perv, Dick Grayson” I mock him and he starst tickling me.

“You make me, Y/N” and we kiss.

“I love you, D.” I tell him.

“I love you with all my heart, kitten”

“NO!” I yell punch the bag now crying when this memory hits me. “NO, DICK!” I punch it harder “YOU’RE NOT GONE” I keep yelling and i felt my body losing his strenght, until i felt Jason’s arms holding me, helping me and putting me on the ground.

“Y/N, I can’t stand seeing you like this, please” Jason says, after all, he’s like our little Bird, our little brother who’s Always on our feet, Always here.

“He’s dead, Jason, oh my god, he is dead.” I couldn’t believe how much it hurted. It is cruciating.

“You can and you will, Y/N, we need you, you gave the orders when Dick wasn’t here in the tower, you’ve Always been our second command.” I look at the kid’s eye and I start realizing they were needing me. Dick would never want me to destroy myself and give up on Titans, Because I can’t count how many things Dick had done for this team, it was his life. Our life.

“I’m here, Jaybird, I’ll recover for him and for you all. I need to talk to bruce first.”

[9 P.M, TitansTower]

I called Bruce, he was broken. But just like him, we seek for justice and that’s what’s going to happen. I ask Bruce to locate the Joker and me and them would catch him. For once.

“Team, go change, Joker is in the Central Museum, we’re going there.” I tell them the plain, we change and follow to the place.

[10 P.M, Central Museum]

The Museum was already closed, no people in there, only the fucking crazy Joker trying to do more crimes, but he wouldn’t, not here and nowhere.

When we first get in there, silente was dominating, he was hiding but he could show up anytime, so we were ready.

“You’re sure you want to do this, Y/S/H/N? Aren’t you feeling too bad, Darling? Your black uniform fits well your new status, because right now you’re a widow.” The bastars laughs out loud from my pain, but right now, i felt empty, i only had anger and fury going throught my mind.

“Won’t you show up, Joker?” I say so he can hear from wherever he is “Come here, Confront me. You’ve already took the life of the man i love. I don’t feel anything anymore.”

He appears, wth the most sassy and dirty smile in that fucking crazy face. My heart is so tiny right now. This man took my love, the only one i had in life.

“You guys won’t stop trying to detain me until i kill one by one?” He says to us

We get ready to start the Fighting but we get surprised by one of the glasses of the top windows cracking. The noise is so loud

“What is happening?” I hear Donna

“You’re wrong joker, you won’t finish to kill one by one because haven’t even started, you crap” This voice, this so well known voice. My heart pounds in my chest and I ask myself if i’m crazy or it is actually happening.

Then i look to the top of the museum and there he is. Holding on his bat-rope. My Black-and-Blue Bird. Alive.

“Nightwing, I asked myself when we’d see each other again. I believed you’d like to do some mistery but here you are. I have to tell you, your timing sucks.” Joker laughs.

I stay paralised looking at Dick. He was here, right in front of me.

“What can I do? It’s a gift.” He answers the joker, fastly gets down to the ground and kisses me. “I couldn’t die, I fought too much not to die, because I had to come back. To you.” He kisses me.

“Rachel! NOW!” Donna yells, she wraps him in her lasso of truth and Raven envolve him with her black magic. They take him to San Francisco police which was outside the museum waiting to take him to arkham. We did beat him.

[1 A.M, TitansTower]

The going back home was unbeliavable, the guys were crazy about it, Gar and Jason wouldn’t get out from Dick’s feet. Our leader was back.

“Guys, I appreciate your love, You all are my Family and i’m so grateful, I can’t explain how hard it was, but i’m here, and tomorrow i’ll clarify everything. Because right now i’m going to love my girl.” Everyone laughs and we follow to our room.

There’s no words, there’s only two crazy lovers wanting everything the other can give, because the time that passed was too much for both of them to handle.

Dick was home, with me.

[antpernas]

11/17/20

you bitches better buckle up bc the trip to georgia went from bad to horrible VERY QUICKLY OSIDFLJSLDFK

SO just to note after i posted yesterday he came to the couch and started cuddling me while watching tiktoks and we were chatting and it was cute!! and i woke up feeling really good actually!! i was really confident that we were going to be able to enjoy the trip even without the intention of pursuing anything romantically afterwards! today we had plans to go around and look at atlanta, go thrifting, probably eat out too, etc. so i was really excited! and originally we were going to go to savannah today to go to the beach but then that went out the window alksfjslkdn

so i went to sleep the night before way earlier than dan, he had a presentation at 8 AM and he still hadnt completed the powerpoint for it. personally i thought he shouldve gone to sleep right when he did but he stayed up until 8 AM to present and then knocked out after. the consequence of that is that i woke up at 9 AM and was waiting for him to wake up all the way until 3 in the afternoon ASLKJLSKFDS

so finally he wakes up, i was kinda hoping that he would initiate the effort to actually go out like we had planned, especially since in our conversation on the drive home yesterday i had told him it really sucks to always be the one making the first effort literally all the time (not just with him but in general), and he said he would try to be more proactive to make me feel appreciated (that didnt happen aksfjlkf). so yeah no after thirty minutes of him not saying anything to me after he woke up i go ask him if hes still down to go out, and how i was waiting for him to wake up bc i didnt want to leave him alone in the aptmt to go thrifting cuz i thought that was mean, etc. he gets ready, we head out, he asks to drive my car and i say no bc he keeps breaking like a fucking maniac after id told him specifically not to bc it stresses me out !! we get in and head out

thrifting was pretty cool actually, there was like a LITTLE bit of awkward tension but it wasnt that bad, the thrift stores were super cool and i found some pretty nice stuff while i was there B) he also bought a bunch of stuff he liked so i thought it was a win win! we went and got food after, then we headed back to his place, which is where shit REALLY hit the fan

when we get back to his place he goes straight to his computer again. i go to the couch to eat, and after like a half hour of literally nothing–no chatting, no cuddling, he didnt even eat with me we just ate separately– i started looking into getting an airbnb and meeting other guys to try and salvage the trip. i told myself if he doesnt try to make a move to make me feel welcomed by the time my laundry was done, ill leave

THEN..... he starts getting dressed, and he heads to the door and he says to me “so youre gonna have the place to yourself for a little bit, im going to go out with some friends” and he leaves me alone in his house. this was extra ironic for me bc i remember before i had started the drive up and we were working out the details, i asked how long he would want me to stay, and he told me after wednesday he had a lot of stuff for school so he wouldnt be able to give me his attention or focus so he would feel bad if i stayed any longer; i said that that was totally fine and i thanked him for being considerate. and for that whole sentiment to be thrown out the window (if it hadnt ALREADY been bc he was just ignoring the fact that i was sitting on his couch twiddling my thumbs) when he left me alone in his house- yeah just comedy bitch COMEDYYY

and so i try to look into getting an airbnb and turns out i CANT bc my number is still linked to somebody elses fucking account and airbnb doesnt let you update it without access to the original account. at that fucking point i was pissed and i didnt even care about trying to salvage the trip so i just decide to drive home

i start getting my stuff ready and i messaging my friends about all this stuff, i end up facetiming my friend to tell them about it and their like “this is absolutely infuriating. youre not mad enough for me. burn that house down. steal his shit.” LOLLL it was just a mess!! i get all my stuff ready, i pack up my car and i leave

this one dude on grindr i was chatting to earlier had invited me over, i take him up on his offer and he was really sweet! we chatted about anime, played some video games for a little bit, his cat was adorable and it was a nice little thing. i was only there for an hour or so before i started heading home again

yeah all in all the trip was preeetttyyyyy much a bust, theres a lot of shit that pisses me off when i think about dan now (he was a huge hypocrite (he got mad at me for calling him out when he tried to excuse his behavior by saying it was bc of his trauma, but then made jokes about my r*pist.......), tbh kind of a sociopath, took a lot of pride in telling me about how hes so toxic and gaslights people all the time and i was just confused as to why he thought that would make me think any better of him at all/???, had a really concerning sense of humor that like took joy in suffering “ironically,” etc.) but i dont want to be resentful or spiteful or anything and honestly im not even that mad AT him!! he has a lot of potential in life and hes still super interesting, he just needs to heal a lot and GO TO THERAPY bc jesus fucking christ

but yeah thats my story about yesterday, im gonna write the one for today even though its not that eventful but i hope you enjoyed these little chronicles lakfsjlaksdf

[girlydemonbite]

Haikyuu x Drunk reader

"Theyre gonna kill me." Yuu mumbled as he tried to hold you up on one side while Tanaka help you up from the other, the two boys had snuck in some booze to the training camp and dared you to drink some, and before they knew it you had almost drank half of the bottle. They didnt mean to make you drink that much and they didnt even realize how much was gone till you told them you wanted to go back to your room now, but when you tried to stand up and fell right back down thats when they knew. They fucked up.

"Maybe if you be quiet, we wont get caught" Tanaka whispered, as he tried to walk go faster, he kept on looking everywhere to make sure no one was coming.

"Shit." You mumbled, you felt sick to your stomach you were gonna throw up, but before you could warn them you threw up all over Tanaka feet.

You heard the two start gagging, before Tanaka mumbled "Why am I the one who always get thrown up on."

You felt as sorry as you could, with being this drunk, but you couldnt help but to laugh a bit. It was true Hinata threw up on him once and now you were.

"Lets put her down. ill go get a towel to clean this up before anyone steps in it." Yuu mumbled, before putting you down away from your throw up and running off. Tanaka tried to shake off as much throw up as he could before stepping away from the pile of throw up on the floor and sat down next to you.

You werent sure how long it took him, honestly you were too drunk it even realize half on whats going on. But before you knew it Yuu was back with a towel.

"About time" Tanaka said before taking the towel and wiping his foot before cleaning up your mess.

While the two boys tried to clean up the mess, you swear you heard some foot steps. Before you could even say anything. You heard Daichi voice, and so did the other two. The foot step was coming this way.

"Why does it smell over here" You heard him say and then you heard another.

"I think its coming from over there." It was sugawara.

"Shit" You heard the two second years hiss, as they looked over at you, and knew the moment the third years seen you that they would know off the back that you were drunk and it didnt help that they also had the smell of booze on their breath.

"We're fucked." Tanaka mumbled, before the two third years came into sight.

The third years were confused on what was going on, and maybe if they stayed away they wouldnt of caught on. But the moment when they got closer to you three it was over.

"What is going on" Daichi sounded mad, you felt slightly scared you havent really heard Daichi mad, luckily you were too drunk too really make out his face. But what you could make out was Sugawara's cause now he was kneeling down by you.

"You okay?" Sugawara asked, he sounded so sweet.

"You're so cute" You were sure you sounded normal, but when your words came out they sounded all slurred. Making Sugawara slightly sigh before looking over at the two second years.

"Why is she drunk?" Daichi hissed, he didnt like this. One of his team mangers were now drunk, and he was sure that these two were the reason. He wanted to yell but he didnt wanna make a big scene and have all the other teams and team mates knowing that one of his team mangers were drunk. He knew how much you loved this team and how much you loved the boys that it was probably really easy for these two to talk you into doing something this stupid.

"W-We were just having some fun." Yuu mumbled, turning his face away he didnt wanna see the glare that the two third years were giving him.

"Clean this up, and tomorrow you're doing extra laps." He hissed, before turning to Sugawara. "Do you need me to carry her?"

Sugawara shook his head before picking you up and carrying you bridal style to your room, luckily you had your own room.

"Do you think we should stay with her?" Sugawara suggested as he laid you down on your bed, before walking over and grabbing the trash can that was in the coner. "I mean, if you dont wanna I can just stay. Its no big deal to me honestly" The smile on sugawara face looked sweet on the outside, but the smile struck something in daichi that it wasnt as innocent as it appeared.

"N-no. Ill stay too. She's the team manger. I gotta help her" Daichi said sitting next to your drunken body.

"I-I can take care of myself" You mumbled, the two boys looked down at you. They had assumed that you had past out by now. Your eyes were close but you must still be slightly awake.

"Y/n, you're drunk. Its our job to take care of you." Daichi sweetly whispered, before softly running his hands through your hair.

You were too drunk to even fight them on this, you just rolled over and dozed off, making the two boys laugh.

When you woke up you were surprised to see the two boys laying on both sides of you, you couldnt help but blush. You were slightly confused why they were in your room, But then it hit you. Your head was pounding. Then you remembered. You slightly groaned as you rubbed your head. Waking up the two boys.

"Morning sunshine" Sugawara mumbled as he rolled over to wrap his arms around your torso. While Daichi moved in closer to you and rubbed his face on your shoulder.

"Morning y/n" Daichi mumbled, with a yawn.

"My head hurts" You mumbled.

Daichi and Sugawara slightly laughed, they sounded like angels but you couldnt enjoy their laughs as much as you wish you could of cause the noise made your head hurt.

"You can stay in bed for today or in till you feel better." Sugawara said before sitting up and giving you a kiss on your head. "I wish we could lay with you all day but we have to go practice with everyone. But if you feel better later come join us."

You nodded as the two boys got up, you turned over and tried to go back to sleep, but when you heard the two boys leave. You couldnt help but smile to yourself. You were kinda happy all of this happened, cause if this all didnt happen. Then you would of never had those two guys in your bed.

[stories-mostly]

Stark's Bug

Tony Stark x son!reader

=Masterlist=

And we're back baby. Sorry for the long wait but it had to be done. I was stressed to the brim lol. Anyway this chapter is a little cute and domestic cutouts of what Tony has to deal with every day lol. Happy Pride and have fun reading.

Warnings: zero to none

Words: 2079

Chapter 16

After the trip everything, and everyone, was busy. Happy had taken a week long vacation. Pepper and Natalie were having to call and answer calls from all kinds of government people. And Tony was in his lab researching about the dude who attacked him. Ivan something something if you remember correctly.

The news weren't above it either.

What was worse for you though was the stress hanging in the air. It seemed like nobody would be happy about you interrupting their work. But you also didn't know what to do with yourself. So you sat there on the ground looking off into space thinking about anything and nothing at the same time.

Then you decided to just walk around the house for a bit. Maybe you'll find something to do. As you turned the corner you saw a familiar and loved face appear not far away.

"UNCLE RHODEY!" You screeched and jumped into his arms.

"Hey there, champ. What's new?"

"Everybody is suuuuper busy and boring right now," you complained.

"Well, yeah. The attack yesterday was pretty shocking for a lot of people."

You shrugged and were put back onto the ground.

"I guess. What are you doing here?"

"I have to have a word with your dad about what happened."

"Ugh, you too?" You groaned and threw your head back.

"Yeah. Many important people are mad about what happened. They think Tony can't protect them so they want to take the suits away."

"Like the government?"

"Yes and the military and so on."

"But you're in the military?" You questioned as you were walking into the living room.

"Don't worry. I'm trying to protect him." He smiled at you and asked the room where your dad was right now.

You followed behind him but he turned around and stopped you.

"Sorry, bud. But I'm gonna have to talk with him alone, okay?"

"Why!?" You crossed your arms.

"Because I'll say some choice words you aren't allowed to use yet."

You huffed and sat down on the couch still pouting. You were allowed to go anywhere you want! This was your house!

Still angry your stomach growled loudly. So you left for the kitchen, took some food and sulked off into your room.

The next morning you woke up to a quiet and empty house. Which got you into a chipper mood.

For Tony Stark it was time to let off some off that pent up energy from sitting in the lab all day and night since he got back.

But inside the gym awaited a peculiar scene. There were you, pushing weights with all your might onto a mat layed out on the floor.

"Hey Buddy, what are you doing?" He asked both curious and amused.

You turned away from the task at hand to explain.

"I want to test how much I can lift!"

"With your hands or force?"

"The force!"

"Okay. Don't hurt yourself, alright?"

"I won't" and with that you turned back around to the task at hand. Tony watched you after changing into his gym clothes. You were so focused on scribbling into your notebook that you didn't know he was watching.

He looked on as you picked up one after another weight, putting them down inbetween to write something. He cheered you on inwardly as you struggled to lift another one and add it to the ones already floating about in the room. You added some more until it all finally came tumbling down with a loud thud that made the floor vibrate. Quickly moving to your notebook you wrote down the final amount you had lifted.

"Look how much I can lift, daddy!" You ran up to him holding up your little notebook proudly.

Tony grabbed it to stop it from moving and his eyes almost fell out of his head as he read the number with three lines under it.

"212lbs!? Wow, that's a lot," he exclaimed engulfing you in a big hug.

"That's more than 4 times my weight!" You talked on and showed him the math you had done in your book.

"No way. Wow." He paused thinking about all the documentaries on animals he had watched that talked about this kind of thing.

"That's just like an eagle!" He finally said remembering the documentary he watched with you just recently.

You frowned but shrugged. You'll take that.

"I guess your superhero name should be Eagle from now on." He joked but you shook your head.

"There is already someone named Eagle in Captain Magics team. I can't steal his name." You said matter of factly and walked off to begin cleaning up after yourself.

Meanwhile Tony wondered where Happy was for their sparring match today.

He pulled out his phone to call but then something made an elevator sound in his brain. Happy was on vacation for the next two weeks so... yeah.

He totally hadn't forgotten about that at all. Instead of dwelling on it he turned to you and helped to put away the weights.

"Iron man I need your help!" Tony jumped at the sudden appearance of his son Captain Storm behind him.

"What? Oh, what is it Captain Storm?" He asked in a serious tone.

"The evil Madman is trying to take over Brickville and I need your help defeating him and his evil goons!" You explained in a lower voice than usual, which he found adorable.

"Oh no that's terrible! How can I help?"

"We need to find his headquarters and destroy him once and for all!"

"Let's go then. We can't waste any time!" He jumped up and put on his helmet before sneaking away behind his you.

The city was a mess and located in the living room. Brickvilles Bricks were all over the place and half the city had been ravaged. No one who resisted had been left alive. As Captain Storm explained.

Nearing the headquarters Cap instructed Iron man to quieten down so they wouldn't be discovered by the very vigilant guards hired by Madman.

He had the entire city under his brutal paw.

Evading the goons outside both heroes got inside the headquarter undetected.

"We have to find Madmans office. Follow me!" Captain Storm walked forward leading the taller hero through the corridors towards what was discovered to be Madmans office just a few minutes prior.

"Stop," Storm said holding out a hand behind him before turning around. "Look, there's guards."

"That must be it then. How do you propose we get inside?"

"I sneak around to the other side and on three we take them down together."

Iron man nodded in agreement and the plan unfolded as said.

Captain Storm snuck around to the other guard further away from Iron man. He held up three fingers and lowered them one at the time indicating the countdown.

Once the last finger went down both heroes took the guards down quickly  and left their bodies in the same spot they had been standing.

Bursting through the door there he was. Madman. Sitting on his office chair and looking as though he had awaited their arrival.

"Ah. Captain Storm and Iron man what a pleasure," spoke the Bear.

"Shut up stupid! We're not here to talk. Leave the city alone and I wont punch you in the face." The Captain said. Very aggressively. Iron man was sort of taken back.

"Yeah. You heard the man Madman." He supported non the less.

Madman said no and with that Storm tackled him out of his chair and started throwing punches.

"Leave. The. City. Alone."

You really beat the crap out of that Bear.

In the end Iron man dragged Madman out of his hideout and held him in place as Storm told the citizens that they were now safe and left Madman in the hands of the public.

"Good work Stormy. I will go now I hope you can handle the cleaning up?"

Captain Storm nodded dutifully and began cleaning. First dragging the stuffed supervillain by his blanket cape into his room while several Lego houses followed.

Tony Stark always thought of himself as a rather messy and unorganized person. But he didn't think he was this unorganized. After you had nagged him about being hungry he went into the kitchen to see what was available.

Nothing apparently. Nothing for him rather. You had spotted something that peaked your interest. A full bag of frozen peas.

"What about this?" You asked holding out the peas infront of you.

"What about it?"

"Can I have it?"

"The peas?"

You nodded.

Tony frowned. This wasnt what he imagined his son wanted for dinner.

"You want a plate of...peas?"

"Yes."

"With what?"

"Just peas."

"Are you sure?" Again you nodded this time more insistent.

What the hell. What kind of child wants peas for dinner.

"But these won't fill you up."

"Not if I eat lots."

The older Stark sighed and went on to prepare you a plate of pure peas. Just peas and nothing but peas. It felt wrong to put peas in a pot all by themselves. And it felt even worse putting all of them in an empty bowl again all by themselves.

He placed the bowl of peas infront of you and gave you a spoon. You, being the semi independent little man you are, went and got yourself a fork. Meanwhile your poor father didn't understand any of the actions you were currently taking. He wondered if he ever confused his parents like you were currently doing to him.

But you seemed to be delighted by the food. Kicking your legs back and forth while chewing the peas.

Tony opted to bite into his apple and keep his mouth shut.

In the end you ate two and a half bowls of peas and was satisfied with your meal.

Pressing down random keys on the piano you were slowly getting frustrated with the bad tunes that came out of it. Nothing even resembling the melodies your father could produce.

Said man walked in just as you were dragging your fingers over the keys angrily. He was planning on telling you to get ready for bed but seeing you sitting there, trying your darnest to produce music warmed his heart with fondness.

"Playing the piano, Bug? What song?" He teased and sat down next to you.

You glared at him.

"Oh if looks could kill," He chuckled and pressed down on one of the keys.

"Want me to teach you?"

You eyes lit up. "Yes! Can you, please?!"

"Alright, come here!" He patted the spot right next to him and you slid closer. He took your smaller hands and placed them where you should press, adjusting each finger that was needed.

"What song is it?"

"I think you'll know once we play it," you weren't really satisfied with that answer.

He placed his own hands right over yours and pulled you on his lap rather than reaching around you awkwardly.

Tony pressed down and the first two notes rung through the quiet room. You groaned.

"What?"

"Thats a childs song!" You exclaimed offended.

"Yeah and what are you?"

"Too old for Twinkle Twinkle little star."

Tony laughed a little. "Bug. This is one of the easiest things to play as a beginner. You don't start with the hardest thing first," he explained and played on with your hands still being guided along.

"Twinkle twinkle little Star. How I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high. Like a diamond in the sky. Twinkle twinkle little Star. How I wonder what you are." Tony sang along teasingly.

"This song is stupid." You pouted.

"You rather have me sing the ABC's alongside it?" He poked you side and you moved away.

"Come on this was composed by Mozart. So I don't think it's all that stupid. Come on let's play some more,"

"Only if you play the Star Wars song!" You grinned up at him.

"Okay? I'll see what I can do," he said and placed you back onto his lap.

"This time you sing along too. Make sure I'm doing it right," he put your hands back in position and you nodded dutifully.

At first you just mumbled the words but your dad pushed you a slight bit and joined in.

You grinned and sang the last lyrics together. Giggling you pressed the last keys on your own.

"Great!" Tony praised and placed his own hands over different keys.

"What Star Wars song would the gentleman like to hear?"

"The one that goes: dun dun dun duhn dahdan duhn dahdan," you tried to describe it to the best of your abilities.

Tony nodded and thought for a second before pressing down on the first few notes of The Imperial March. You smiled brightly. He missed a few notes but that didn't bother you too much. It was sensational and you liked having your own musician in the house.

You clapped when he finished. "Whoooo. This was great!"

"Well, thank you kindly. But now is really time for bed,"

He shooed you along and into your bathroom and with that your day was over and another would soon arrive.

And then another, and another, and so on.

Tags: @shannonr2003 @art-estrange @nicholasbich @tater-thotties @tonystanktheirondad @gaylemonshark @emilaa2001 @kindahadeschild @actualcringetm

[mikmikisnotcrack]

Music Box || Im Jaebum

Fantasy AU: Ghost! Jaebum

▪▪▪

• Your grandmother was a lil weird

• When you were a kid, she always told you weird stuff. A lot of them revolved around one thing though, and that was witchery

• You thought it was really cool that your grandmother told you this witchery stuff, but eventually your parents told you that it was all just fictional.

• It ruined your childhood, but hey, you still thought your grandmother was cool

• But when you grew up, she became weaker and eventually passed away.

• You were absolutely devastated. I mean, who wouldn't? You had a cool grandma who always told you witchy stories and who was by your side whenever you had problems in your life.

• Before she passed though, she had given you a carousel music box that you were told has been around for ages.

• You kept it on your bedside drawer so that you wouldn't feel alone.

• Whenever you stressed about exams, deadlines, your best friend Jackson or work, you always turned to the music box for comfort.

• Though, when you thought it made you feel like you weren't alone

• You didn't think it would actually make you feel less lonely

• Because you sWeAr tO gOd you feel a presence around you ever since you brought the music box into your apartment.

• It could just be you being paranoid because it was your first time being away from your family home

• But legit it felt like someone else was in the room

• You wanted to consider putting it back in your old room back at home, but it has stuck with you for too damn long to NOT be by your side. Besides, it was from your witchy grandma, why would you keep it away from you?

• One night, you were incredibly stressed. Finals were coming up in multiple subjects of yours and it was really hard to balance that with your part time job as a barista.

• On top of that, some professors were so helpful in lessening your stress by giving some paper works due! How fun.

• The night was full of your constant groans of frustration and the sound of paper crumpling.

• It was 2:30 am you wanted to drop the fuck out right there and then as you slammed your head down on the multiple papers scattered on your desk.

• The frustration from the past few days that you bottled up was finally bursting, and now here you were, crying on the bond papers that have been on your desk.

• Until you heard it

• Your music box was fucking playing

• Your head snapped over to your desk where you saw the music box playing. The little gold horses were spinning.

• This shit was something straight out of a horror movie.

• The moment your head left the papers, they all went flying off your desk. You didn't even know how to react because all the windows were closed and your fan wasnt open. You're haunted fOR S U R E

• "You know, you should really take it easy on yourself"

• You whipped your head around but nobody was there.

• Nope nope nope nope

• You pushed away all the papers that remained on your desk, shut your laptop, shut your textbooks, and went straight to your bed, covering yourself with the duvet.

• The music box will not stop playing!!

• You inhaled sharply before you were met face to face with a boy with dark hair and eyes to match.

• You wanted to scream, but you didn't know where your voice fucking went

• "You know, it's really bad to pent up your frustration like that. You should relax"

• "P-Pardon???"

• "You heard me"

• Your eyes were wide as dinner plates. This guy was definately not here when you entered the aprtment

• And this guy was definately not a normal human being!!!

• "Ohhh shit I forgot that humans aren't used to this thing... sorry"

• No shit humans arent used to that thing!! It's not everyday your dead grandma's music box plays in the middle of three am and a ghost throws off your damn paperwork!!!

• "You know what, my stress levels are sky rocketting right now! I'm seeing things!! I should really go to bed!!"

• And with that, you turned to face the opposite way from ghost boy and put the duvet up to your nose.

• Before you completely fell asleep, you heard your papers being fixed and the lamp on your desk turning off.

• "Good night (Y/n)"

• The next morning you woke up a little more refreshed than normal.

• It was a friday, which meant that your classes started a little later than usual.

• You brushed your hair and went to the bathroom to take a quick shower.

• After doing your morning routine and picking out your clothes, you went to the kitchen to make breakfast.

• Except, it was already made for you.

• There in the kitchen, was ghost boy placing the sunny side up egg on the freshly cooked bibimbap

• "Oh, you're awake"

• Proceeds to pour you a cup of coffee in a shameless "stressed, depressed, kpop obsessed" mug

• "Uhhh, y e a h"

• "You should eat up, your finals will be coming up today and you need nutrients to keep your head functioning"

• Places the mug on the bar counter.

• "Well? What are you waiting for? Eat up"

• You reluctantly take a seat on your favorite bar stool and dig into the bibimbap. It was surprisingly reslly good! It tasted exactly...

• "The way your grandma used to make it?"

• "Excuse me???"

• "Oh! Im not a mind reader or anything, it's just that a huge wave of nostalgia just appeared on your face and I just thought that you thought... Yeah, I'm just gonna stop right there"

• You took a sip on the coffee he had made and realised it was exactly how you make it! With a huge amount of creamer and sugar.

• You watched as he leaned on the bar counter and eyed you down.

• "How are you doing that?" You ask

• "Doing what?"

• "You're definately not human, because I know for a fact that I do not have a roommate and you appeared out of no where... Yet here you are, you just cooked breakfast for me AND scared the shit out of me last night"

• "Oohhhh fuck um... Sorry about that. I'm Jaebum by the way"

• You squinted at him as you proceeded to drink your hella good coffee.

• He pulled at the collar of his black hoodie nervously as you eyed him down

• "ANYWAYS! Ghosts that have been around for some time become more powerful, and we learn how to lift objects and do normal mundane shit. Though, not exactly as mundane because we're still technically spirits with no bodies"

• "Interesting..."

• Once you finished your food, he took it from the counter and placed it in the sink while you made your way back to the room.

• You were about to pack your notebooks, but you realised that Jaebum had done it for you.

• Wow, a very helpful ghost!

• "I guess I'll talk to you later???" You say before exiting your apartment.

• "Lmao as if you have a choice on not talking to me"

• Son of a--

• And with that, you leave!

• After another eventful day, you come back home to find Jaebum on the couch eating the honey butter chips that you stored away in your shelf while he watched Strong Woman Do Bong Soon on netflix.

• "Yah, those are my chips!"

• "Woops"

• It was a weekend tomorrow, so you didn't have to worry about any of your shit. Free time for you, yay!

• You dressed up in your favorite t-shirt, a huge hoodie and a pair of shorts and mads your way back to the living room and watched SWDBS with your ghost friend.

• "Soooo Jaebum, why the hell are you here??"

• He pauses the drama before turning to you.

• "Weeellll I may or may not be binded to your music box and I can't go anywhere else"

• "W h y???"

• "Strap in, I'm telling you a longass story"

• So! From what you have found out, Jaebum's mom really liked the music box that she was gifted with during her and her husband's first wedding anniversary. However, that marriage slowly spiralled down into chaos once Jaebum was born.

• When Jaebum grew older, they eventually divorced yet his mother never let go of the love she felt for her husband. Eventually she died, still holding the music box

• Jaebum was surprised that she wasnt the one that haunted the music box

• He swore to himself that he would protect the thing his mother cherished the most and the person who cherished the carousel music box.

• So his mom's best friend's daughter ended up getting the music box after the both of them had died... And that daughter ended up to be one of the ancestors who passed down the music box, until it was handed to you.

• "Soooo you dont have any plans on going, idk, to heaven?? Or hell"

• "yAh I am a good ghostie with good intentions!! Why would I go to hell?!"

• "I dont know!! Just saying!!"

• "I dont know, maybe when you die I'll consider going back to heaven"

• And that is how you got stuck with your ghost friend Jaebum!

[cryinggameff]

Sixty Seven

Randi

I was arranging everything for the big pregnancy reveal that morning, including still inviting people because i was bad at planning things. I called Cole last because i had a feeling we'd end up on the phone for a while talking about other shit. I hadn't seen him since his game last week.

“I’m having a brunch at my place tomorrow,” I said, “be there.” I waited for him to laugh or say he’d be there but he paused for a while.I stretched out on the couch that i was sitting on, resting my legs in Cayden's lap.

“I may have something else, I’ll let you know,” he said.

“Something like what? It’s importnat,” I said, trying to stress that I had something to tell him without actually telling the news.

“I’ll get back to you,” He said. My face scrunched up in confusion at what he could possibly have to do that he couldn’t come to my place for like an hour, especially when I was offering him food.

“Fine...”i said.

“Aight, gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Ok, bye...”I said just before he hung up. I must have been visibly frowning because Cay looked over at me and said,

“What?”

“Cole just shaded me mad hard on the phone,” I said.

“You probably just over thinking it, what he say?” He asked.

“He said he may have something else, and that he’d ‘get back to me’, even though I said it was obviously important,” I said, putting my phone down and crossing my arms. Cayden made a ‘yikes’ face. “Exactly.”

“Cole can be pissy, he probably just having a bad day or something,” he tried. I shot him a look and he quickly got up. “Well I’m gonna go to work now.”

“I’m gonna go get ready I guess,” I mumbled, “I look horrendous today, my face is all puffy.”

“You look alright to me,” Cayden said, fishing his keys from his pocket.

“Gee thanks,” I said.

“You look beautiful I mean,” he grabbed my arm with a smirk. “Where you going anyways?”

“Out with Jenny, I think China and Jada might come.”

“Alright, have fun, and no fast food, you gotta start eating healthy for real babe,” he gave me a serious look.

“Yeah, yeah. Good bye,” I said, getting up and walking to the stairs. We went our separate ways and i started working on making myself look decent.

Lunch was just Jenny and I which was cool. She was telling me about work and what she had been doing, some trip she was planning. When she was done I asked what I really wanted to know.

“So what about the guy you told me about, the one you’re working for?” I asked. She bit her lip and I leaned in closer.

“I finally agreed and went out with him,” she said I’m a guilty tone.

“And?” I encouraged her to go on and spill the real tea.

“It was good, really good. Weird, but good.”

“See! I knew you would have a good time. So are you guys going out again?” I asked.

“We’ve been talking everyday since. I see him a lot because of work. We’re still getting to know each other, I don’t even know what it is if anything yet. I’m not in a rush at all,” she said.

“Well I think you should bring him to brunch tomorrow,” I said.

“That would be weird,” she said.

“Why? You’re not even together yet, I just wanna see him. China is bringing Rambo, Jada night be bringing a friend so it will be chill.”

“I’ll think about it,” she said,giving me look that convinced she wasn’t even concidering it. “What’s this brunch about anyways,” she made a face.

“Come and find out,” I said with a smile.

“God, you’re the worst. You wanna know everyone else’S business, but you’re real hush about your own,” she cut me a look. I laughed and shrugged.

“I’m not that interesting,” I said simply.

“I beg to differ,” she said. “Oh thank god, foods here.” I turned around and saw the waiter coming with our plates. My mouth watered. I was starving, and really craving spicy food.

I called Cayden on my way to the salon. I wanted to drop in for a little bit.

“Hey babe,” he said.

“Hi,” I said, adjusting my pants which were now tight.

“What’s up?” He asked.

“I have the worst heart heart burn,” I complained. I knew it was the spicy food but I left that part out.

“You take some medicine?” He asked.

“No. I don’t even know what I’m aloud to take,” I frowned.

“Call the doctor and ask,” he suggested.

“Ok,” I said.

“Where are you going? I can hear you driving.”

“To the salon. I’m meeting some guy to talk about how much it would cost to build our own place,” I said.

“Y’all still on that second store idea,” he said, in a tone that suggested he was not a fan.

“What you mean still on it Cay, we decided like months ago,” I said, checking my side mirror and changing lanes.

“You really tryna be doing all that while you pregnant?” He asked.

“It’s gonna be a long 9 months, honestly the distraction might be nice.”

“Yeah but the stress ain’t good for the baby. You know how worked up you get,” he said. “Plus your anxiety been bad lately.” All the points he was making were valid but for some reason it set me off and I got defensive.

“I’m anxious because I’m pregnant and I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing Cayden. Because I didn’t see this happening, at least not any time soon. So, please, give me a break with that, ok. And if I wanna work and I feel like it’s gonna be good for me then I’m gonna work,” I said frantically, my hands firm on the steering wheel. I could hear him groan even over the phone.

“I better not hear you bitching about how stressed you are then,” he mumbled. I got emotional then and tears started falling from eyes before I could understand what was happening.

“You don’t have to be so mean all the time,” I cried, tears clouding my vision of the road. He could definitely hear that i was crying, there was no covering it up.

“Ok Sorry,” He said, caught off guard by my sudden emotion. I was still crying and was considering pulling over at this point. It was like i knew it wasn't worth crying over but had no control over it. “Don’t cry, please. It was my bad, i shouldn't be swearing at you anyway, pregant or not."

“Okay,” I mumbled, a snotty mess.

“I feel bad," he said, and i could hear in his voice that he really did, and knowing Cayden he would be off the whole day if he thought he hurt me.

“It's ok, i just got overwhelmed.” I took a steadying breath.

“I'm working on being patient,” he said. Wow. I should just stay pregnant forever, i thought to myself. I never would have gotten all that from him before i had a baby in me.

"God, I love you Cay," i said, missing him now.

"I love you baby mama," he replied. "But i gotta go. Imma see you soon though,"

"Okay, see you in a bit." We said goodbye then i hung up. I had arrived at the salon anyways. I grabbed my bag and got out.

The next morning I woke up early because i had to cook and get ready as well. My mom came early to help me cook though, so it wasnt that bad. I had a chance to get changed and put some makeup on once we were done. Cayden was still lounging in the bed while i got ready in the bathroom. I put on a floral dress that ended just above my knees and was quite fitted so it showed off now slightly poking bump. My plan was to wear a cardigan until i announced, then id show the evidence. I put some lipgloss on to finish and then left the bathroom.

"Damn," Cayden said, getting up from the bed, still naked which was pretty distracting. He gripped my shoulders and kissed my forehead. "you deadass glowing," he said. I looked down at myself.

"Really?" i asked. He nodded, pushing aside my cardigan and putting his giant hands on either side of my stomach.

"You look good with my kid inside you."

"I dont know how i feel about that statement," i said, feeling slightly disturbed. He chuckled, sliding his hands around to my lower back.

"Speaking of being inside you," he said, pulling me into his naked body.

"Im tired," i complained, "and i just got dressed. Also you know my mother's downstairs?"

"Shit, i forgot about your moms," he said, caressing my butt. I had a feeling this was still gonna end how Cayden planned because i was weak and generally couldn't resist him. "You just gotta be quiet then, you know how you be screaming" he said with a sexy grin on his lips. I felt him poking me then and i looked down.

"Cay" i said with a laugh. He looked me over, lingering at my chest.

"What you expect me to do?" My mother started calling my name from downstairs then and i fixed my cardigan that he had opened quickly so i could leave.

"I dont know but be quick about it, people will be here soon," i said, heading for the door. I left him to get ready and went to go see what my mom wanted.

Cayden

People were already getting there when i got downstairs, and Randi was running around of course. I dont know why she made this such a big thing and created work for herself, but i also understood that she wanted to get everyone we cared about together. My parents were just coming through the front door so i went to go get their jackets and stuff.

"Hey mama, pops," i said, hugging my mom and shaking my dads hand.

"Hey baby..." she said wearily.

"What?" i asked.

"You got your mama nervous wondering what this brunch all about," Pops said, gruff as usual. I laughed.

"Relax mama," i told her. She cut me a mad side eye and i just took her jacket from her hands and put it in the closet. "Yall head in," i told them. Ty had just pulled up, and Cole was with him. I sighed in relief for myself that he had showed up, i would have never heard the end of it if he hadn't and whatever drama he and Randi had continued. They walked up the driveway and i dapped them both when they came to the door. I remembered then that Ty already knew.

"Where the food at," he said immediately.

"Dining room," i said. He pushed past me and walked away to that area. I stopped Cole before he could follow.

"whats good with you and Randi?" i asked.

"Why do i feel like you gon off me or something for having problems with her?" He looked at me suspiciously. I cackled.

"Nigga that petty drama is not my business. I know she frustrating, im married to her," i shrugged.

"Amen to that," he mumbled. I put my hand on his shoulder.

"I know its nothing that deep because yall still talking, and you here. Both of you just childish." I squeezed his shoulder tighter. "But if you ever did really hurt her feelings,i actually would have to off you. I hope you know that," i said, all smiles gone now. He looked surprisingly accepting of the fact.

"Ty warned me already," he said. "That would be pretty shitty for me."

"It would be for me too, cause you my nigga" i said, looking him in the eyes.

"Nice of you to show up," Randi's voice came from behind me. I patted Cole's back playfully and turned to face her.

"Well thats my cue," i said. I left them to hash things out and went to go find food myself.

I was talking to Randi's dad when i spotted Jenny coming through the door, Randi greeting her like the good host she was. I smiled and made a move to go and say hi but stopped in my tracks when a dude id never seen before came through the door after her. Randi hugged Jenny and then she went to go hug the dude and my hand tightened around the cup i was holding.

"Excuse me sir, someone i know just got here," i said to pops.

"Go ahead son," he said. I put my cup down on the counter and started walking to the door. Randi saw me then and she quickly walked over to meet me before i got there. She grabbed my arm as i made eye contact with Jenny, who looked like a kid that had just gotten in trouble.

"Be nice," Randi said.

"He's in my house," i pointed out.

"Okay, but i invited him," she said. I looked down at her.

"Yeah, and im wondering why," i said, trying to control my temper so i didnt pop off on him and her.

"I was trying to be supportive of Jenny moving on," she said, defending herself. I scoffed.

"You helping her move on from my brother," i shook my head, getting more pissed off as i thought about it and looked at the dude standing in my house. Jenny came up to us then and she turned to Randi.

"I told you this wasn't a good idea," Jenny said, "I think im just gonna go."

"No dont," Randi said. 

"You supposed to be on my side Randi," i said, feeling betrayed. At this point my problem wasn't even with Jenny. I felt more like Randi had gone behind my back.

"I am on your side, im always on your side," she said, voice low.

"You really acting like it," i said, looking over at the guy standing by the door. I turned and left to go back into the house where everybody was. I wanted to walk all the way out the house, but i knew i couldn't just up and leave while all these people here for us, and especially because we were supposed to tell them about the baby. I got back to the party and walked up to Ty.

"We bout to pull up on someone?" Ty asked, seeing my face.

"nah," i said.

"You gotta relax my nigga. I got you," he said, pulling a blunt out of his pocket.

"Bet," i nodded to the stairs.

We passed the blunt around for a while in one of the guest bathrooms upstairs with the shower running and window open so we wouldn’t smell up the place. After a while a knock came on the door.

"Its me, your wife, who you love, also carrying your unborn child," she said.

"Wow, she really got you locked down dont she?" Ty said. I rolled my eyes.

"Ty, you better open this door," she said.

"Yo she scares me," he shrugged, going to open the door. "Imma go downstairs."

"Go put on some of Cay's cologne first," Randi said, shaking her head. He smelled himself then nodded. It hit me then that the whole room was swimming in weed.

"You shouldn't be here, the baby," i said.

"Yeah its pretty bad," she was plugging her nose already because she didnt like the smell. I put the blunt out and walked out into the attached bedroom and she followed. I sat on the bed and she came to sit beside me.

"They're gone now," she said. I didnt say anything so she continued. "I didnt think youd be that mad."

"You expect me to be happy about that shit?" i looked at her like 'really'.

"No. I thought you'd just be shocked but eventually warm up to the idea. But clearly i was wrong," she said, and when i mean mugged her she added, "and stupid. Im sorry you felt like i wasn't on your side."

"I also dont like surprises, and people i dont know, you know that."

"I know," she said, caressing my cheek. "But you do know you gonna have to warm up to the idea of her going on with her life at some point right?" I groaned, thinking about if jenny actually ended up staying with this nigga. One way or another i would eventually have to know him, unless i was gonna cut off Jenny, which id never do.

"But you really gotta be out here helping bring them together?" I locked my jaw. She grabbed my chin with her slender fingers.

"Okay ill stay out of it from now on, and tell you what, if you get to know him and you still hate him i wont fuck with him either."

"Good," i mumbled. She kissed my cheek.

"Can we go tell people about the baby now? I really need to get it over with while i still have the nerve," she looked really uninterested in the whole idea which was funny, most girls loved things like this.

"Yeah lets go," i took her hand and we left the room.

Once we got downstairs Randi gathered everyone in the living room and said she wanted to make a toast. So everyone held their glasses expecting her to make one. She looked nervous now that everyone was looking at her, so i wrapped my arm around her waist to calm her down. She looked up at me and i knew i was gonna be the one making this announcement. I turned to everyone else and lifted my glass.

"Id like to make a toast, to the reason we're all here. To my beautiful wife," i looked down at her and she blushed, "who has a way of bringing everyone together, even when its against their will," people laughed and she rolled her eyes. I looked back her, and we locked eyes for a long moment, and it was like looking into her soul. "She's loving, caring...and selfless, all the things that are gonna make her an amazing mother." I finished and everyone was frozen, looking suspicious but not 100% sure. Randi stepped out of my grip and opened her sweater revealing a small, but obvious bump.

"I knew it!" her mom hollered from the kitchen "Thank you Jesus!" Cheers and clapping erupted and people swarmed us, well mostly Randi, to say congratulations and ask how far along she was, all that stuff. It was weird being congratulated for making a human, but i rolled with it.

Our parents finally got a moment with us and they were clearly the happiest out of everyone here.

"I can't wait to tell all the ladies at church," her mom said, hugging Randi tight to her.

"Oh me too, especially that Heather May, always announcing her new inlaws and grandkids every sunday. Oh we're gonna show her," my mom chimed in, also gushing over Randi and brushing her hand through her hair. My dad came and clapped me on the back, actually smiling and looking genuinely happy for the first time in god knows how long.

"Im happy for you son. Being a father will change you, but it will be the greatest thing you do," he said.

"Thanks Pops, im gonna try my best. You 'bout to be grandpa now though," i said, realizing that myself. He chuckled, sounding genuinely amused which was also shocking.

"hm i guess so," he said, looking like he was imagining it now. He looked...excited. I guess it was true what people said, babies had a way of bringing people together.

"Well done Son!" Randi's dad pulled me in to a tight bear hug. He was back to his normal self after the heart attack several months ago. He had done intense physical therapy and i know Randi was still really worried about him for a while but now you could tell he was back to good health.

"She's doing all the hard work," i said.

"Oh its going be a long 9 months for you too. Just wait. Her mother had me driving 3 hours to go and get pizza from a specific pizzaria,and god forbid i forgot the anchovies on the side" he looked to her mom who shrugged.

"Pregnancy cravings are normal. How have you been doing? Why didnt you tell me earlier?" She looked slightly hurt.

"Well you already knew so obviously i wasn't hiding it well. Im just tired, throwing up, but thats it," Rand told her.

"Awe. Can you imagine, my baby is having a baby," she said, tearing up, not for the first time. I could tell Randi was already getting tired of everyone being all in her face, but they were just excited.

"Ill come find you later mom. I need to talk to some other people," she smiled at her mom, who reluctantly let her go. Randi came to slide under my arm.

"Jesus," she mumbled.

"i know," i said, rubbing her arm. "Well theres Cole, that should cheer you up." He was making his way over to come talk to us since our parents had been hogging us.

"I can't even believe it," he said, hugging Randi tightly and picking her up off the ground. She laughed which was nice to hear. "Lil nugget is gonna be a mom, wow," he said.

"You never suspected, right?" she smirked.

"Never, im still in shock," he shook his head. "Wait, is this why you were ghosting me?"

"Ive been ghosting everyone. Im always either laying down or sleeping most of the time, epecially in the beginning. But its getting better now," she said. "That's also why i left your game, it was cold and Cay didn't want me getting sick."

"Well now i feel like an ass," his face dropped.

"That because you are an ass," i shrugged with a grin.

"May be an ass but at least my pull out game is strong," he shrugged.

"Hi, im here," Randi said, waving her hand around.

"So, what am i gonna be, like an uncle?" he asked, bending down to observe her stomach.

"Yeah i guess," she shrugged.

"Cool," he said, smiling. Randi looped her arm in his and they went off to go talk with Jada and China. I took that as sign that they were no longer fighting, which was good for all of us.

Randi

After about an hour of talking to people and having my bump touched and people hugging and kissing me i was really over it and was ready to just crash. I had been on my feet since this morning too so i was exhausted which made me feel sick. People were still mingling and trying to get a hold of me and i had been separated from Cayden a while ago but i went to go find him. He was out back on the deck with Ty and his parents. I went up to him and grabbed his arm. He bent down so i could talk in his ear.

"Can we go? I feel sick," i said. He nodded and wrapped an arm tight around my waist.

"Ill catch up with you guys later," he said to them. They said ok and he led me back inside. We went upstairs and i made a b-line to the bathroom with him behind me. I tried to throw up for a while but nothing came up and it was just dry heaving which was almost worse. After a while he just held me on the bathroom floor, and it was the first quiet, calm, moment we'd had together since the party started.

"Thanks for breaking the news," i said. "I panicked."

"It's aight. I was excited to tell them anyways."

"The strangest part of all this," i said, pasuing to really think about it, "is that now they all know we've been having sex."

"I think they knew that already Randi," he chuckled. He had a good point, but it still felt oddly exposing.

"Is it bad that i want them all to leave now," i mumbled,cheek to the floor.

"I can tell them to get out if thats what you want," he offered. I shook my head.

"Here, drink this," my moms voice suddenly came from the bathroom door. She was standing there holding a mug. "It will help with the nausea," she explained, walking over towards the bathtub where we were. So i took it and drank it. "Dont worry, people are starting to leave already. They saw you leaving and realized how tired you must be."

"Thanks mommy," i said, feeling particularly childish at the moment. She smiled.

"Im gonna go start cleaning up," she said. I nodded and then she left.

"Im a horrible person," i said as soon as she was gone.

"What? Why?" Cayden said, confused.

"Because i didn't wanna tell her, or anyone, and they're all so happy."

"Nah, that doesn't make you a horrible person. You're just private. But aren't you sort of glad they know now?" I knew what he meant, it made it feel more real, and their excitement and joy did make me feel like something good was coming. I was touched by how many people already loved this baby.

"Are you trying to say i told you so to me? While im pregnant?" I looked up at him.

"Is that gonna be the new card you play every time things aren't going your way?" he guessed.

"Yes, yes it is," I nodded proudly.

"Well, seriously though, thank you."

"For what?" i asked, playing with his hand in mine.

"For doing this for me," he rubbed my stomach, he was the only person that i actually liked doing that.

"You're welcome. But there is something i been wanting to say to you, and i feel like its important for you to know," i started.

"Okay..." he said, brows coming together.

"I am excited about having a baby.Yes, i'm doing this for you, but for me too. I know i was slow to warm up to the idea, but i can't wait to raise kids with you Cay," i smiled up at him. I saw the glimmer in his eye and it made me melt inside.

"Wait, you said kids, plural," he smirked. Of course he would focus on that.

"I did," i simply replied. He leaned down to plant his lips on mine, kissing me with all the excitement and love in the world. I wasn't sure if it was whatever drink my mom made, or the kiss, but i suddenly didn't feel sick anymore.

[irregulardiaryposts]

00:53 21/06/2021

Hello again <3

so i think im gonna write about my mental health today because i dont feel like i have anyone who understands fully apart from myself maybe so i need to Organise my Thoughts. as a kid i had a pretty normal childhood, a mum a dad and a brother - pretty nuclear right. but as a child i felt like my family maybe wasnt quite right, that this wasnt supposed to be what family is? perhaps. - i was scared of my mum a lot because she wasnt very understanding of me - and i was a great kid, never getting into trouble, very good at school, no issues whatsover. the thing that really shows how i thought of my relationship with my mum was when i was like maybe 8 or so having a parents night and at it my teacher had nothing bad to say apart from i was kinda bossy in group settings (im sure i dont need to explain how misogynistic that actually is- i was not bossy i was a natural leader) and when i got home my mum told me off for that and i felt like she was kinda cold to me and not taking all the good things about me into consideration when telling me off for that.

i feel like thats a really defining moment in my life when i realised i cant expect adults to Understand me, realised how people treat young girls, also started my defiant behaviour maybe or was kinda one of the key moments that made me dislike certain authorities in my life, that if people wont understand me regardless of how i explain myself then i wont bother trying to be understood by people who wont matter to me. anyway yes i was scared of my mum-like petrified sometimes- but my dad wasnt great either, he also had his shortcomings. i feel like he never really cared about me like he was kinda apathetic towards raising me like a parent - i feel he would be better suited as an uncle to someone rather than a dad - the funny childish guy that makes kids laugh -not the uncaring dad that cant be bothered to really learn about his kids. and i feel im sitting here complaining about my parents when the fact is that a lot of adults should never be parents, society has conditioned people into thinking the only way to be fulfilled in life is to live vicariously through your kids when life gets to such a boring and monotonous place where you feel the need to create a new life to spice things up lmao. i feel a lot of parents regret having kids but they cannot express that regret because it was their choice and they should deal with that, also saying you regret it would be pretty horrible to the kid.

so while yes i am complaing about my parents i dont think they were Bad in any way just not that great yaknow. also i just notice all these things growing up and i feel its been pretty impactful to understanding myself and my parents. also just some anecdotes from my childhood - i used to watch my dad play video games like the uncharted games i think theyre called, and whenever i got scared i used to hide behind the couch until the scary part was over (usually a lot of guns and high energy fight scenes thats too much adrenaline for a 7 yo) and sometimes when i would take out my dad/brothers game i would get them to fo the hard parts and do other stuff myself - i dont remember many games i played apart from one of the spidermen games where u could just web around the city and not progress apart from sometimes you would come across some strippers and i accidently got into a fight with them (also hot women with umbrellas they use to fight- maybe i went near them on purpose) i would yell to my dad and get him to do it for me. also on new years eve whenever my mum was working and we werent going to any family parties we would make a bunch of food and put it out in the kitchen - wed make like homemade onion rings, chips, have crisps and dips, and a bunch of junk basically and watch like austin powers or some shit and genuinely miss those times they were so simple. but a lot of thats tainted now from what happened. also my brothers always been annoying as shit but when we were kids we couldnt be in the same room without arguing which like whatever thats how kids are esp brothers and sisters for some reason.

i think thats majority of the background needed for the rest. wait this is a little addition but i meant to mention this here so ill put it in- basically sometimes on holidays i would geniunely think my parents hate each other/ were getting a divorce like once when we were in florida in 2012 my dad convinced my mum (as well as me and my brother convinced her since we liked them) we convinced her to go on a water slide thing that u had to walk up the stairs for, it was outdoors, and it was kinda tall and then we got in one of the big donut things and it swooshed from side to side a lot and was generally pretty scary i suppose for someone who doesnt like rides esp since you had to hold on to the handles there were no buckles or anything, and so when we got off the ride my mum was big mad at my dad and like wouldnt talk to him and stuff like that which was pretty uncomfortable to have to be the 8 year old mediator of that but there was also another occasion i think (maybe also at florida) where they were made at each other and i asked my mum if they were getting divorced and all she said was 'ask ur dad' like???? no sort of consolation to this child who thinks their parents hate each other nooo just petty 'ask him' and theres also been other times when they fight/ are mad and they dont feel the need to hide it from us so i felt quite anxious around my parents sometimes.

so ahnyway . yes. when i had just turned 13 my parents split up and it fucked me up in a multitude of ways. also i cant beleive i stopped being a proper kid at 13, like as soon as i turned a teenager life hit me like a fucking truck. so the context as to why they split is still kinda lost to me ngl but they didnt tell me much anyway since i was young but my mum basically said my dad didnt love her anymore and he wanted to separate. its kinda funny because leading up to this my dad had been sleeping in the living room for like a few weeks and there was on and off fighting i could hear and i basically thought they were fighting over me and that i was in trouble and it kinda used to keep me up coz i could hear loud voices when they thought i was asleep- which is probably the cause of why i get veryyyy mad and angry when i hear my mum at like 1 am downstairs when shes drinking and im trying to sleep, probably something ive internalised (is that the word?) and made me respond so strongly to those type of noises.

anywayyyyy yes i thought i was in trouble when they were actually just getting a divorce so ... yeah you can really tell i was young and didnt understand adult issues or really couldnt figure this out myself from all the arguing and him sleeping downstairs lmao. anyway my dad moved out and it was just me my mum and my brother now and at this point my brother wouldve been about to turn 18, so although still kinda shit, not really as affected my it as a 13 yo, just to keep in mind. so i was devastated obviously and my whole world was kinda shattered but i had to hold it together a bit, also i was sometimes my mothers own therapist having to say things like 'everything happens for a reason' 'itll get better' in response to her deteriorating mental health and her questions that would be really hard for me to answer like 'why did he leave' etc (bish im a child be there for me not wallow in ur own pity, u have ur whole life to sort this out youre an adult, im a 13 you and only months away from wanting to kms hun think of ur CHILD please) anyway this left me feeling like a burden if i were to share my mental state because when my mum shared her stuff she was burdening me (AGAIN i was 13 she is an adult) so that made me bottle a lot of things up also the fact that i had no one to share it with because she works as a nurse and now shes a single mother and so she works almost all hours of most days and i dont see her much, my brother was either working at this time or just didnt give enough of a shit about me to make sure i ate.

i went from being catered to for every meal because i didnt know how to cook to suddenly no one being there for me so i had to learn how to do it myself. needless to say that lead to a bunch of unhealthy eating habbits like eating the same things every day - frozen pizza, cheese toasties, i cant think of anything else probs because i didnt make anything else just ate chocolates or didnt eat breakfast coz i woke up at 2pm. just general unhealthyness both in substance and like how healthy that was for my head yk. also this is during the summer btw so it gave me the option to be incredibly depressed - im not saying that as an edgy teen thing to say im being 100% genuine i was very depressed like textbook style - not eating or overeating, not showering/ taking care of myself, extreme lack of energy and hated doing social things coz i had to put on a farce that i was okay meanwhile i couldnt wait to get into my bed and sleep the next day and a half away.

i very vividly remember at the start of the summer holiday my friend asked me if i wanted to go out and do something and i rememeber just crying at that because i had no reason to say no but i just didnt want to and felt like i couldnt do anything and so i lied and said i wasnt feeling well and then put my phone down and curled up in my bed and cried coz i was frustrated and upset and i couldnt really understand what was wrong with me and why i was Like This.

god i didnt take into account how tired i was and how late it is when i started this huh, this isnt even half of it, but i have obligations in the mornign, the last until uni or whatever so ill put this in my drafts and finsih it somethime. alrigtht it is 02:08 btw z_z. also ive just now decided im gonna re organise my tumblr so if this ends up being an actual blog thing i can navigate it easier by adding tags and such. anywau goodnight.

20:21 30/06/2021

MOTHERFOIUHIFIUDVMKCVKM V

MY LAPTOP SHUT DOWE IN THE MIDDLE OF THSAT SO ITS ALL GONE BASICALLY I WAS DEPRESSED BURTNOUT GIFTERD KID AND IT SUCKED YADDa YADDSZ ANYTWAY

so

23:01- well. yes earlier i wrote a little about the ages 13-16 and how they sucked but whatever it got deleted the more pertinent stuff happened in the last year or so anyway.

um yeah so i started the last year of highschool as a 16 year old with a fucked up brain and never having learned any study techniques or work ethic in the slightest. i took 3 uni-level courses only one i actually wanted to do, most people take 2 at most or even 1/0 but do other classes. honestly it fucking sucked this year for school but i scraped all passes so thank god for that. so i started the year quite optimistic, or as much as i could be and in all fairness the content of this year wasnt actually that bad considering i was doing 3 hard classes but corona really truly fucked everything up and by November i had mentally dropped out of my classes but of course i still had to go to them. i feel like im an oddly independent teen because ive never had a solid parental presence in a while, like i had to do a lot for myself and maybe i should thank myself for getting me through it all because i really did pull through.

my thoughts keep drifting from what im writing coz i wanna talk about different things and im just thinking maybe i shouldve just posted the last one then added a reblog when i could be bothered to write and not force myself because if theres ever a reoccurring theme in my life is that if i force myself to do anything i will hate it with my entire being, so maybe i should just do a short synopsis and write about something else afterwards.

so i took 3 hard classes, slowly lost all motivation because in jan it switches to online classes and i could Not deal with those it was horrible, and i became more of a "troublesome student" in one of my classes *cough* maths *cough* and almost got "kicked out" of taking the class just because the teacher was a control freak but like wanted to control all of our actions and behaviour, also i think i may have adhd and another kid in my class i think he does too and surprise surprise the teacher "dislikes" him too but its only a farce because he doesnt actually dislike him its only so that i cant call him out for singling me out when other students behave "badly" too. but anyways maybe ill come back to this in a while when i can be arsed explaining my complicated relationship with my parents.

the only reason i wanted to write this today was so that i could tag the post with like june 2021 or something and not june/july, but i might make another post later, Anyway happy end of pride month i supose, hope u figure it out me!

[survivormetaverse]

Episode 12 - "i'm baaaaaacckkkkk 😈" ~Jodi

An iconic moment happened today and I accidentally voted my closest ally out of the game. So Brayden got sent home and he is going to hate me when he finds out what happened. I did kind of get him out on accident I did not mean for Brayden to go I wanted Jay gone but I was blindsided by Colin and Josh and Elle AND AMY!!??]£[_[3 Omg. Im really upset that hes gone i miss him so much and I dont know how Im gonna go on without his brain. I dont trust Jay but Jared and Jay were both messaging me about how they already forgive me and stuff so thats a little crazy. I think it could be fake or they are just desperate for numbers. But I am with Josh and Amy and Colin and Elle now. I want to be with their numbers. I talked to all of them individually and they said they all were sorry for lying to me and causing me to get my friend out. I know its just a game but I just feel awful and so guilty right now. This has probably been the worst day of my life. He probably will never play another org with me again and hes the only reason i play orgs its boring without him. We are best friends increal life and I hope he can forgive me. I havent said anything to him because thats breaking the rules. But when he finds out im literally so scared of what he'll say to me. I pray he will forgive me I am literally so dumb af.

i'm baaaaaacckkkkk..................... 😈

This is literally worst case right now with jodi winning the play back like throughout the day she has won back her allies including anastasia since she swapped coins with her. Elle, colin, and josh all gave me all their coins to grab immunity before the other side to protect me but also it makes me a bigger target lol plus I gave elle some swapped to get the second thing the leftover because I THOUGHT it could give us an extra vote since that was ony menu but I was tired and drunk and it was a LOT of words and it was just the hunts which I knew didn't have any and I feel terrible bc 150 tokens and my actual alliance is going to be so mad when they realize THAT I HAVE THE LAST ONES and fucked up in suggesting it at all. First they were going for info. So now I think Jodi got all the other sides tokens and they are pooling for something idek. It's literally worst case like we were set to be up 5-2 or at least 4-3 and now it looks like it's 4-4 again hahaha neat. And it looks like colin is chatting with jodi again and they are making deals lol like tbh if she gets to the end I am voting for her to win I've said it many rounds. Turns out anastasia and brayden not only know each other irl they are besties so she mad mad. And Josh looks to be making deals and thinking about flipping so I am on borrowed time but tbh I never expected to make merge. I am glad I have immunity bc I physically couldn't do the challenge anywU here lol and I fucked that up too hahahaha. Good times all around. Like I want to tell them about my steal a vote to have official numbers but now they'd just be mad hahaha literally colin and I had every advantage except jared's idol now. Ahhhh idk what to do but it remains hilarious. I'm expecting Raffy to give my info in these in the market and that is no bueno ahahahaha. I am tempted to just give colin everything bc it's funny. Also jodi talked to me until 1am just trying to guilt me into being back with her I said I have to sleep goodnight like 5 times minimum. Her social game is so good that's why I think she has them all back with her and possibly josh. The problem is that I was keeping her close bc she had the info from others and from my game. I really never had a number one lol bc I was just vibing and I guess now colin is bc I flipped with him lol and I think it's hilarious he grew his army from 0 to 5 almost.

~

I have a suspicion colin and anastasia have actually been closely aligned this whole time and she knew everything all along. Colin sure loves giving out info haha. And apparently deals are happening all over, none of which I have made 😂

Jodi's backkkkk, wild wild wilddddd. The challenge went poorly, darn thats like 20 minutes wasted. We bought the refresh and there was nothing there 💔 that's 150 tokens wasted 😅. But! We got Amy immunity✨ and then Colin won the challenge so tbh everything's still going great lol. Wonder how we're gonna vote this round :/ we'll see how this goes! I've stopped worrying whether I'm going completely, it either happens or it doesn't 💖 xoxo, gossip girl (this is misleading I HAVE NOT SEEN THE SHOW i just know way too much about it because i have friends that did lol)

So after I voted my showmance Brayden out of the game I was left with an interesting situation. I had cried to Josh Colin and Amy that I was alone now and that my whole alliance hated me. With Jodi back in, I dont think they believe me. I literally flipped sides so I could be in their alliance because I didnt trust Jay and Jared and Jodi. But they literally lied to me about the vote and said it was nothing personal to me but they didnt tell me the plan because they wanted to see if I was lying. Which sucks for me because I then voted Brayden out :( Now that they know that im truthful they said they would work with me now. But all of them have been pretty inactive today. I talked to Amy the most and a little Colin and a little Josh. But I wasnt in their alliance. So I asked Amy if I could be added into an alliance chat since I was apperently in their alliance now. And she said sure. And they added me to a vote block. That is not an alliance group chat btw. So I was like wow thanks. But inside I was like screw this. So before this all happened, Jodi, Jay and Jared put me in a true alliance group chat. This morning I was ready to work with Colin and Josh but not anymore. Not after they put me in a vote block chat clearly saying to me that I am just a number to be used. They don't even need my vote either because Amy has an idol and Amy and Colin are safe. So I'm obviously voting with Jay, Jared, and Jodi. And I know they probably have a final three without me. They could call it something really cool like the three J's. But I called Jay and explained everything to him. (Also Jay forgave me for literally trying to get him out. He umderstands that its a game and all of my motives about not trusting him anymore.) He said he would be a hypocrite if he didnt forgive me because he told people my name in the chaos vote. So I actually think we are cool. And I told Jay that I am his number one. Which is true. He told me a lot of things about how Amy is actually really smart and stuff (I thought that girl was just a goat that I could take to the end with me) But her and colin are tight and both immune. This is bad. Basically we will go to rocks unless Elle flips to our side. Jay is giving his pitch to Elle tommarow. And maybe I will apologize to her correctly tomarow too. ALSO SPELLING THE WORD TOMARROW IS THE HARDEST THING IN MY LIFE. Also I took 62 minutes to complete a puzzle today so thats kind of emberassing. Anyways bye everyone this was so much fun to type omg.

Lol I woke up to a text from jodi asking if anyone was taking about votes yet and I said no because I went to sleep early bc I almost passed out from heat yesterday and had just woke up and she responded "ummmm lol...." 🤣🤣🤣 Sorry I sleep. She's in Colin's dms saying how I was legit her number one and now we can't even talk about votes. Like yeah girl we worked our asses off to get you out of the game sorry I'm not happy you are back. Also I'm still at disney world so I don't have the time for a million conversations. I know I'm going to be the Russell Hanz of the f3 /if/ I make it. So what's jury management lol like she was already pissed I voted her out and I plan to do it again. Anyway it looks like it's hilariously about to be a unanimous jay vote tonight but I am thinking we throw one vote somewhere else in case of an idol. But if jodi did get anastasia back we can't do that. Anyway lol I'm immune so whatever. Elle and Colin discussed like if it's on elle (which apparently jared proposed an alliance of 5 which included myself lol!) Then we could go to rocks and have only josh as a possibility and statistically he won't go if he is willing to go to rocks that it. All this to say I'm f7 and I want to keep my extra vote to f6 if possible so I can use the idol for fun at f5.

https://youtu.be/snpKevncc44

My quest has come to an end. I joined this game to be someone who could be there for Jodi. Jodi and I played survivor subrosa together and we both had rough experiences due to a player in the game who harassed jodi and tried to convince everyone I was misogynistic. As much as I love Survivor, I didn’t play this game to win. I played this game because Jodi told me she was playing it and I wanted to be her body guard. I wanted to be someone who could be there for her both as a number but also as an enforcer, anybody who ever dared to do anything to Jodi would’ve had to have dealt with me. Tonight, Amy and Colin have immunity, and either amy or josh or elle have an idol, so there’s no point in making any noise tonight and wasting Jared’s idol. None of those 4 trust me, and I doubt any of them like me. It is what it is, it’s best for Jodi, Jared, and Anastasia’s game to move forward without me, and it’s smart for Jared to keep his idol. Tonight, I will be voted out, and I am 100% at peace with it. 

Since Elle, Josh, Amy and Colin pooled their tokens for immunity and advantage refresh, it means all the advantages and disadvantages are on our side. Plan is to send Elle a disadvantage and let Colin know because honestly it’s not hard to find out anyways. Jay doesn’t mind getting booted at some point cuz he wants to stand for me on the jury, but I don’t want to boot him right now. Obviously they won’t boot Elle, so I’m going to see if Jared will propose Anastasia. The thing right now is me/Jay/Anastasia/Jared also know next round is invisible. So I want Jay or Anastasia to send Colin and Amy disadvantages because if they’re paranoid seeing me Jared/Jay/Anastasia have advantages and they have disadvantages, they might be paranoid enough to play all their idols. I also wanted to keep Jay for this round as it’d be unanimous and something everyone can settle on. Jared wanted to do me/Jared/Josh/Amy/Colin as an alliance but has concerns about the 3 of them being in top 5 in the majority snd also Colin having his ideal f3. I told him my plan has the best shot at flushing all idols and hopefully we can either get Josh to flip or at least have Amy/Colin vulnerable at 5/6. Last thing is Jared is worried he’d be blindsided this round. I told him my plan and I said even if he wanted to flush his idol this round, next round should be ok if we all vote out Jay and the rest of them flush idols. Good to be back in the game! I genuinely believe Colin wants me as a shield at least for this round, and if I can make it through, I have a game to play. 

Not everyone saying they only bought an advantage lol what about those other 70 tokens 👀👀👀 Like it must be jay unless someone is lying haha i am hoping people are just busy bc these answers I'm getting from Josh and Colin are concerning 😂 It looks like only elle and got disadvantages ☠️ I am really hoping not to be a target next round even though I know I will be haha. Next round is only 7 and I'd love to take out jodi and jared before they turn on me ☠️ especially since colin creeped on jodi's insta and it is possible they know each other from sports irl. And she was so concerned about all these pregame connections 😂 and here it was likely to deflect. Anyway I just swapped my position of having jodi do all the social work with having colin do all the social work knowing full well I'm not gonna get those end votes. I'm just trying to pull up my placement average now 😂. I hope everyone sees me as having no social game to take me to the end lol bc realistically I don't bc I don't care to put in that time this game. As I write from the pirates of the caribbean line 😂 So anyway if I'm not being lied to which I might be it looks like unanimous jay tonight but also I think the other group was talking split on jay like a 3-3-2 and I'm like wait the 2 wouldn't help. Elle are you okay with that? So I think they must have figured out I have stuff ☠️ I wonder what people REALLY bought haha okay bye

Jodi is back, not just Jodi Jodi, but player Jodi. Player Jodi thinks a LOT. When I was out, the entire time I was hoping somebody caught on that Amy flipped because they knew to put a stray vote on Colin to protect him from chaos idol, but they left Josh exposed. Why? Because Colin knew Amy was going to throw a vote on Josh. Also, Colin tied with me for closest ally and that set off an alarm too. Onto the next. So Colin won immunity, Amy bought immunity, but this could possibly be good because it means they are playing knowing they are not at risk themselves. Anastasia is voting with them this round, but she's actually working with us. She told us that the actual plan on that side is: "Jay, Jared, Jodi vote elle and Elle, Amy, Colin vote Jay and Josh and Anastasia vote Jodi" Anastasia will vote me here to continue "working" with them for the next vote. Essentially, they thought that Jay had the merge idol this whole time and Colin was weary about it, and that's why he got nervous about sending out Jay last round. That told me Colin did not have the merge idol. Josh came to me too about Jay having the merge idol. But the way they're splitting the votes this round shows me now that somebody has stepped forward to mention they have it (likely Elle) because if Jay idoled, Elle goes in this split vote plan. Therefore, somebody must've been like "ok let's just be safe and split the votes, I have the other idol". That's good and bad because now Colin has no merge idol paranoia, and they're also able to use it together. It also did confirm to me they've talked about it. Here's where things get tricky. Player Jodi is so tempted to run with it and do a 4-3-1 Josh-Jay-Jodi but it's so risky and could possibly destroy the long term social game, especially if they idol for Josh and Jay goes anyway (we are not idoling for him here). So instead, I'm going to use Jay's vote out to the best of my advantage. Hopefully flush an idol if possible, maybe a steal-a-vote, something. Knowing about next round being invisible is good info for us. Having this info is so key and usually I would think that immunity for a round is bigger than this but being able to plan ahead for a GAME-CHANGING twist is crucial here. My move here is to play the game through psychological distress. I have no advantages! Since they're out of tokens from buying immunity, me/Anastasia/Jared/Jay bought advantages for ourselves and also sent out disadvantages to Colin/Amy/Elle. Seeing that not only we have advantages but also them having disadvantages, they probably still feel like things will be ok because they'll just split votes or whatever and one of them needs to win immunity. But given this is an invisible round, I think Amy is honestly paranoid enough to just play her idol, hopefully Elle does too, and then between me and Jared, we'll idol for one of us. I also plan on bluffing an advantage coming back from Jury, and say something along the lines of having to survive one round before the advantage got activated. I'm going for the win, everyone, I know that if I get to the end with anybody, I have a solid shot at winning. I just need to get there and to do that, I must play an adaptable game – more than ever. PS I am holding onto Jared's idol right now. Power (temporary) feels amazing. Dw I'm giving it back....😈

this has been the most chill round in a while. which is really weird consider JODI IS BACK AND WE BLINDSIDED BRAYDEN LAST ROUND this round is turning out to be what I WANTED last round to be. everyone is talking with everyone, people are trying to disband the sides and all intermingle. it's really interesting how no one else was on board with this until after they lost majority. seems like people don't like playing from the bottom. weird huh now these bitches know how I felt >:( anyway. jodi is back. it's weird. she knows that amy flipped now and everyone is playing very carefully my ideal boot this round was either jay or josh, in that order. so when my gay ass WON IMMUNITY I immediately put out jay's name. we already have the numbers, but I also like said my piece to jodi and jared, this is yalls chance to prove to me that you're really with me and sides don't exist. the ball is in their court do i trust them? no. am I worried? no. i have immunity, the scariest thing rn is that I think Jay is voting Elle, and if Jared and Jodi are with him then that's scary, bc Jared has an idol. The ONLY people I would play my idol for is Amy and Elle, and Elle being in trouble means I might have to play my idol on her if Jay idols himself. We have enough to split, so I'm not worried, I just hope all goes according to plan. sorry my confessional is lame. its the weekend now so i have time uwu. I'll write more the next few days

So this whole token twist thing has really annoyed me. Because of me wanting to show my loyalty to my alliance, i gave away all my coins to Amy so that she could but immunity. And against my wishes, Elle wasted her coins on the “advantage” which turned out to be a dud. I wanted to get coins together to buy game info or better yet, trade coins with other people. But i was left with nothing, while all the people on the other side used their coins to buy advantages in the next immunity challenge making it even harder for me to secure my safety. Maybe this new 2 Gays and a Jared alliance might actually pan out but im tired of getting the short end of the stick with everything.

~~~

Edgic:

Power Rankings:

Anastasia: She is in the middle of the two sides. They both need her for the rest of this game before a side is terminated. She is the most powerful because she is in the middle.

Jodi: Has regained a lot of her footing in this game. Is being used as a shield by the people who voted her out. The decision to vote out Jay is questionable, but she still has a lot of power thanks to the knowledge Anastasia and Jared feed her.

Colin: The head of the opposing side. Seems to not know what is really going on with Anastasia. But his allies are willing to take him to the end which is good. Needs to avoid falling into a Jodi pitfall.

Amy: Her rat behavior has been exposed, but her allies are still willing to defend her. Second in command on the Colin side. She is being handed these immunities.

Jared: Jodi’s new #1. Will probably make it to the end of this game. However, he isn’t calling the shots and is in danger of being targeted as an “easy” vote or being called a goat at the end. Needs to start taking fate in his own hands.

Elle: Lost a lot of footing because of not telling Anastasia the truth. This move caused Anastasia to go back to Jodi’s side which will hurt in the coming round. Is the next target for the Jodi side.

Jay: Died on the sword for Jodi. I am confused why they didn’t just stack 4 votes somewhere else, but it is whatever. Has basically given up.

Josh: Left out of a lot of discussions. Is on the outside of his alliances and from the opposing side. Is the most in danger of getting targeted or being a casualty of an idol.

[thedappleddragon]

haha here we go again

there's a lot of dumb ranting and 3 days worth of logs and a dream in here so im gonna spare evryone’s dashboard and just put it all under the cut.

tw bad memories, talk of unhealthy relations with food, and dreams about dead animals

I realized I kind of entirely forgot to write about what I did yesterday? I kind of did a lot. I know my mom wanted to work on getting tile laid out in front of her bathroom, so we worked together to scrub the concrete and wipe up all the dirt and dust and whatever was under the carpet and remove some of the nails in the floor and bring up a spiky metal strip between the bathroom door and where the carpet was. The other main thing I remember is deciding to continue work on my dress, sewing up the outer bodice, checking that the bodice and lining would fit together, deciding I’d rather have no different colored front panel, and working on the circle skirt. At first I tried cutting the fabric on my bed, but it wasn’t big enough and too lumpy. I contemplated asking my friends if I could borrow their dining table, but I ended up clearing off my own. After I traced and was in the middle of pinning, I accidentally knocked over a glass bowl that I had set on the chair. My mom heard it from the other room and had me come to her room to tell her what it was. She got angry at me, which I thought was fuckin stupid if it was an accident, but after some reflection while cleaning up the glass pieces, I kind of understood why. Mostly I got a little upset about 2 ceramic pieces I made during school breaking a little from the drop. One was a mushroom house from middle school that always makes me remember feeling like an asshole during peer review when I told my person to smooth their project more because I didn’t know “no improvement needed” was an option until I got back to my desk and saw my person saying it was good in all categories because everyone thought my project was great for some reason. The other was a bunch of flowers on a circle. It was the last project we did before quarantine hit, I think. That one is in less tough shape, just a couple flowers knocked off and a chip on one of them. They can both be glued back together, I guess. Then my mom called me back into her room to listen to her talk about wanting to eat huge amounts of food, because she’s clinically depressed with BPD and PTSD and DID and several other acronyms and her favorite coping mechanism is food, but her doctor put her on a diet so she can get her knees replaced, but recently she’s been getting into a zone where she talks about wanting to eat entire cakes and pizzas and buckets of kfc and a gallon of queso or whatever the fuck and she goes “doesn’t that sound GOOD?” And I have to laugh along and say “haha no that sounds bad actually” and get her a piece of ham or something. And every time she goes on her spiel the only thing I can think of is the greedy from the raggedy Ann and Andy musical. It’s just this horrible undulating orange blob that eats everything in sight and seeing it for the first time just made me think of mom and it made me very uncomfortable, with all the orange goo and hurling noises. Also reminds me of this horrible video game boss fight where it’s the apocalypse and a fat lady on a scooter took over the buffet and eats so much during her boss fight, during the defeat cutscene she projectile vomits everywhere and dies. My brother Greg showed me that thinking it was funny. I hated it, and I still do. He showed me a lot of things he thought were funny as a shitty little kid, and I remember several of them being very upsetting. It’s ok. I don’t want to dwell on it. But after cleaning the glass and talking to mom I brought my fabric to my room and called it a night. Oh wait my dad also helped me with some paperwork my coworker handed me so I could get on the payroll.

Today I woke up differently than I have in a long time. I set an alarm for 10 am so I could be at work by 11, but I woke up at 9 from a heavy sleep with dreams about hanging out with my friend in my room, worrying about my dirty house. I wanted to sleep longer, so I got up at 10 to have breakfast and get ready. I spent my shift changing the price tags all around the store, making everything more expensive. I’m gonna work again on Tuesday where I’ll learn how to use the register. I hope I don’t fuk it up, but I have a couple days to relax until then. Maybe I’ll work on my dress. My friends all want to go to prom together, so my new deadline will be March 2nd or a little before. I still need to buy a ticket, but I don’t have access to the link to buy one :( bleh I’m too tired right now to worry about this shit. I only worked 4 hours again today, but after I got home I felt like I could have worked longer if they gave me something else to do. The only price tags left to change were a bunch of grills and stuff I don’t know about but I don’t know if they had any other work for my to do. But I’m glad I went home tho because I was hungry and my feet hurt from standing lol. I did laundry and made myself dinner and washed my hair and drew a little bit and made the table and tbh the pacing of today has been so weird I don’t remember everything. It’s only 1am but I think I’m just gonna go to bed. my friends started talking about going to prom, and I really want to join them, but I can't figure out where/how to buy a ticket. my brain started being really mean to me, syaing that I was being annoying and pushy and that they didnt want me at prom for some reason, so I low-key almost made myself cry until my friend offered to let me be their platonic date since their partner couldn't go. 

last night I had a dream about a hard video game where when you played it, the black shadow enemies would fight you in real life, and one of them left imprints on my arm in the shape of lego bricks. they could only attack you so long as you played the game, and they tried to capture people and you were supposed to save them. I decided it was my time to play, and I walked into my garage that had turned into a cave with bat-people fused into the wall. I paid them no mind as I rescued a girl who was my irl brother, grabbing her hand and pulling her into another versoin of my garage which was uncorrupted and normal looking. she thanked me, and I said it was no problem. then I tricked her, telling her not to trust so easily, as I became one of the shadow enemies and engulfed her in a black sack, trapping her and leaving the room. I came back a couple minutes later, letting him free (now my brain told me he was my brother) telling him I just wanted to know if I was capable of tricking him, and didnt actually want to kill him or whatever.  another big chunk of my dream was taken up by me, my sister, and my dad visiting a run down petting zoo/gamestop. the petting zoo barn was very dark with low ceilings with lots of rabbits and pigs and hay. one of us accidentally killed either a pig or a tiger right next to the exit door, and I had to slink around the gamester trying to distract the owner and keep him from going in the barn and escaping at the same time. I dont remember how it ended, other than me waking up with a sore throat from breathing so deeply through my nose. I had slept on my stomach wit my pillow in my face so I could hardly breathe, and even after I woke up I felt like I wasnt getting enough air. I HATE that feeling, I always felt like I was suffocating in middle school for some reason. I thinkk somethings wrong with my airway but im not gonna do anything about it. im gonna continue to spend 80% of my day laying down so my resting heart rate and breathing speed is slower than an goddamn sloth. whatever.

right now as im laying in bed typing this I feel utterly unpoductive but I KNOW I did SOME shit today. but yeah mostly I relaxed. I worked on my dress, removing and replacing the blue front panel. I lost my exacto knife somewhere so I went to dollar tree to get a knockoff, along with snacks for mom and my sister. the blades aren't as sharp as exacto, but I still know where the name brands blades are so maybe Ill try and see if they're compatible. when I open the package everything was oily and gross, so I washed everything off with soap and water before I used them to cut the threads of the panel seams. I could have used my seam ripper but I wanted to get a replacement craft knife anyway. its kinda neat that it came with 6 different shaped blades for different crafts :) but uhh I also cut out the other half of the circle skirt of the dress, and I have a bunch of extra fabric left over. probably enough to make a whole other bodess if I wanted too. I used my sewing machine to attach the new front panel, and I was hoping to get more sewing done tonight, but when I asked my sister if it was ok for me to use my sewing machine (it right next to the wall between our rooms so she can hear it from there) she said she was going to bed soon so I just attatched the front panel and called it a night. so that kinda sucked. I still have another day tomorrow before I have to work again, and I can still work on my dress on Tuesday after work. idk why my brain thinks that one 4 hour shift is gonna take up my entire day lmao. I just have to get the whole thing done by may 2nd. GOD that reminds me, im gonna be so busy next month. I have six events back to back happening like every other day, plus work. oof. I'll have to let my boss know, but idk If that's gonna make him mad. I've already got pretty comfortable with the lady in charge of the garden center who’s taken lead position while the manager is on vacation, but I dont think I;ll every understand my boss. he’s a sarcastic busy old man and NOT AT ALL approachable. whatever. really the only other tings I did today were drink a shit ton of water play harvest moon, spend too much time on tiktok, and sraw a couple dum things for my friends’ princess au. I fucking HATE the drawing I did for Anna, so I designed her a secondary outfit more inspired by sky pirate bohemian vibes, since she rules over the floating islands. idk if I'll replace her old outfit with the new one in the lineup or just re-draw her old one with better shapes and composition and match the style better or what. I just need it changed eventually becasuse it looks like ass. tbh now that ve taken a little bit of time away from the princess au, there are a couple designs im not 100% satisfied with. but I know that if I go back and make them more detailed or whatever the’ll be more of a hassle to draw and aslkdfhalksdf I dont know anymore. I'm still tied up about color pallets and trying to give everyone a distinct color, and im a little upset it doesn't quite work, and FUCK dude the edgy one’s lore and character are weird and I kind of want to revise it to make it a little nicer but its not my character and I need to stop shoving my dirty little mitts into everyone’s ocs and AHAGHRGHGARGHHG idk man. her power is necromancy and she has a skeleton army, which I think I kinda cool, but I also think it would be neat if her powers extended beyond just that to communing with the dead, helping them find rest, and THEN maybe it can branch into helping fallen soldiers fight again to help them with unfinished buisness. and then if she goes feral and starts abusing her powers, she ignores all the communication and concent with the dead and instead magically rips them from thr ground to do her bidding and they’re uncontrollable and violent and aimless, just like her mind slipping from the magical blight infecting her. idk man we’re till working on a lot of lore. her concept could be SO COOL with just that little bit of extra thought, but so far it’s just MY POWER IS DEATH IM SO EDGY. ugh I know its fuckin rude to bash your friends oc ideas and I might be too overbearing and controlling of this au but dammit im tired and im mean sometimes and my ego is through the goddamn roof and im so sexy and im always right and my meat is huge. ah shit I rpomised my friend I would help her with character design for the dead king but I was busy when she firat asked me and now im not busy but im not doing it ugh. im just frustrated right now because I spent wayyyy to fuckin long just laying in bed watching tikotks and youtube and playing harvest moon an doing jack shit all day. but hey at least I attempted to get a new social security card again today. and them promptly gave up when they said my adress was invalid. again. I feel like im in an uncomfortable medium between having no plans and worrying about the future and having too many plans all the time oh my god. ive been so focused on getting a job and then having a job and making this dress I completely forgot about college shit. thankfully there's no hard deadlines coming up that I haven't already finished. whatever I dont really want to worry about all this hit right now, im just gonna take it one day at a time. (haha it feels like my angel oc just stepped in. how nice of him :) )