#shes insufferable in the best and worst ways possible and i love her for it

[your-dead-european-ancestor]

GOING INSANE OVER GRACE CHASITY BECAUSE SHES SOOOOOOOOOO INSANE

[db0xtae]

Winning the Breakup | Chapter 3

- Minho (Xo Kitty) X Reader

⋆˚࿔ Summary : Y/N, a talented and athletic after an intense breakup, Y/N reluctantly agrees to fake date Minho, to make their exes jealous. What begins as a mutual arrangement soon turns complicated when their fake relationship starts to feel all too real. With humor, bickering, and tender moments, Minho and Y/N's journey proves that sometimes the best way to heal from heartbreak is to allow yourself to fall in love.

⋆˚࿔ Warnings : None

⋆˚࿔ WC : 975

⋆˚࿔ Previous Chapter : 2

⋆˚࿔ A/N : Hope you enjoy!!!

⋅˚₊‧ 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅

Chapter 3: The First Date

Sunday arrived far too quickly for Y/N’s liking. She’d spent the better part of the morning pacing around her dorm room, second-guessing her outfit for what Minho had so helpfully dubbed their “first date.”

“I can’t believe I agreed to this,” Y/N muttered, staring at herself in the mirror. She’d settled on a simple yet cute outfit: a cream cardigan over a fitted tank top, high-waisted jeans, and white sneakers. It was casual enough not to scream “I’m trying too hard,” but still flattering enough to fit the fake girlfriend image.

Her roommate, Hana, raised an eyebrow from her bed. “You’re talking to yourself again. What’s the big deal? It’s just Minho.”

“Exactly,” Y/N said, throwing her hands in the air. “It’s Minho! The most insufferable guy at KISS. And now I have to spend the entire afternoon pretending I don’t want to strangle him.”

Hana smirked. “You’ll survive. Besides, isn’t he, like, ridiculously hot?”

“Hotness doesn’t make up for his personality,” Y/N retorted, grabbing her bag. “Wish me luck. Or don’t. I’m doomed either way.”

Minho was already waiting for her at the park, leaning casually against a bench like he’d just stepped out of a photoshoot. He was wearing a black turtleneck, tailored jeans, and a designer jacket, his hair perfectly styled.

Y/N approached him with a sigh. “You’re overdressed. This isn’t a K-drama.”

“And you’re underdressed,” he shot back, smirking. “This is supposed to be a date, Y/N. Put some effort in.”

“I look fine,” she said, crossing her arms. “Let’s just get this over with.”

“Wow, your enthusiasm is overwhelming,” Minho said, rolling his eyes. “Come on, we’re going for a walk.”

The two of them strolled through the park, trying to look like a couple while keeping as much distance between them as possible. Minho, apparently noticing the gap, grabbed her hand without warning.

“What are you doing?” Y/N hissed, yanking her hand back.

“People are watching,” he said simply, nodding toward a group of students from KISS sitting nearby. “You want them to believe us, right?”

Reluctantly, Y/N let him take her hand again. “This is the worst idea ever.”

Minho grinned. “You say that now, but by the end of the day, you’ll be thanking me.”

After walking for a while, Minho led her to an ice cream stand.

“I’ll take vanilla,” he told the vendor, then glanced at Y/N. “What about you?”

“Chocolate,” she said.

Minho paid for both, handing her the chocolate cone. “See? I’m a great fake boyfriend. Generous and thoughtful.”

“You’re literally just doing the bare minimum,” Y/N replied, taking a bite of her ice cream.

“Details,” he said with a shrug.

As they sat down on a nearby bench, a little girl walked up to them, staring at Minho with wide eyes.

“Are you a model?” she asked shyly.

Minho beamed. “Why, yes, I am.”

Y/N burst out laughing. “Oh my god, you’re ridiculous.”

“What?” Minho said defensively. “She asked!”

The girl giggled, then ran back to her parents, leaving Minho looking oddly pleased with himself.

“You really can’t help yourself, can you?” Y/N said, shaking her head.

“I’m just giving the people what they want,” he replied, flashing her a wink.

As they continued their “date,” Y/N couldn’t help but notice how many KISS students they kept running into. It was almost suspicious.

“Did you tell the entire school to hang out here today?” she asked as another group of students waved at them.

“Of course not,” Minho said innocently. “But if people happen to see us together, who am I to stop them?”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Unbelievably charming,” he corrected.

She ignored him, but when they passed Alex and his new girlfriend, her heart skipped a beat. Alex froze when he saw them, his expression shifting from surprise to something that looked suspiciously like jealousy.

“Y/N?” Alex said, his tone laced with disbelief.

“Alex,” she replied coolly, tightening her grip on Minho’s hand.

Minho, ever the opportunist, pulled her closer, slipping an arm around her waist. “Hey, man,” he said casually. “You doing okay?”

Alex’s jaw tightened. “Fine. You two are…together?”

“Yep,” Minho said, smirking. “Crazy, right? Guess we were meant to be.”

Y/N resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Well, we should get going. See you around.”

As they walked away, she glanced back to see Alex watching them, his expression unreadable.

“You’re welcome,” Minho whispered, clearly pleased with himself.

“For what?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“For making your ex jealous, obviously,” he said. “Did you see his face? Priceless.”

“Don’t get cocky,” Y/N muttered, but she couldn’t deny that it felt oddly satisfying.

Later that evening, after their “date” was officially over, Y/N found herself sitting on the steps of her dorm, reflecting on the day.

To her surprise, Minho appeared, holding two cans of soda.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“Thought you might want a drink,” he said, handing her a can.

She took it, eyeing him suspiciously. “What’s the catch?”

“No catch,” he said, sitting down beside her. “I’m just being nice. Shocking, I know.”

Y/N snorted. “You, nice? That’s a first.”

“Hey, I can be nice when I want to be,” he said, opening his can.

They sat in silence for a moment, the awkwardness of the day fading into something almost comfortable.

“Do you think this is actually going to work?” Y/N asked finally.

Minho glanced at her, his expression uncharacteristically serious. “Yeah, I do. But only if we’re both all in.”

“All in,” she repeated, nodding slowly. “Okay.”

He smirked, his usual cockiness returning. “Just don’t fall for me, darling.”

Y/N laughed, shaking her head. “Don’t worry. That’s not going to happen.”

But as she looked at him, she couldn’t help but wonder if she’d just made a promise she couldn’t keep.

[sophiuhhsthots]

omg sophia. been PORING over ur content holy shyyyyttteeeee. ik you posted the nsfw alphabet for dean and mal but i NEED more i am fiending for it PLS i beg 😩🙏 i'll take anything you'll give me frfr okay i'll just be waiting over here so patiently like a good girl

hiii yes ask n you shall receive.

⋆˙⟡♡ yk those videos that are boys acting like their girlfriend? i bet younger dean does a lot of those things as a joke to make fun of her

he’ll throw a hand on his hip, pop it out a little, and mimic her voice — always a little higher than it actually is, a little more dramatic. “dean, you’re so annoying.” “dean, stop touching me.” “dean, stop looking at me like that.”

he exaggerates every little thing she does. and he’s spot on about it too.

and the worst part? she can’t even be mad about it.

because, yeah — he’s an asshole. and yeah — he’s making fun of her. but he’s good at it. like, annoyingly good.

he’s got her mannerisms down. the little flick of her hand when she’s dismissing him, the sharp arch of her brow when he’s being a dumbass, the way she crosses her arms and leans her weight to one side like she’s already over whatever he’s about to say.

“dean, stop looking at me like that,” he mocks, popping a hip and giving her his best unimpressed scowl. then he flips his hair over his shoulder (despite it being nowhere near as long as hers) and sniffs. “god, you’re so annoying.”

she should punch him. she wants to punch him. but the problem is — it’s fucking accurate. so accurate that she just stands there, arms crossed, lips pursed, trying not to laugh.

which, of course, only encourages him.

“oh, oh, and my favorite—” he clears his throat, squares his shoulders, then drawls in an exaggeratedly sultry voice, “dean, i swear to god, if you touch me one more time—”

she does punch him for that one. right in the shoulder. hard enough to make him stumble back a little.

he just grins. “oh, babe, you wound me.”

“good,” she snorts. “next time, i’m aiming for the throat.”

he’s insufferable with it. relentless. young dean, full of swagger and bravado, thinking he’s the funniest man alive. he picks up on her so well it’s almost scary. like he stores every little quirk, every tone shift, every half-lidded glare and sharp-tongued mutter in some vault labeled for later use in mockery. it’s his love language, in the most obnoxious possible way.

and he doesn’t just imitate her — he performs her. commits fully. drops his voice into that slightly-too-breathy register, lifts his chin just so, and bats his lashes with all the precision of someone who’s clearly spent way too much time watching her move around motel rooms and parking lots and bars. arms crossed, lips pursed, foot tapping — he’s got it all down to a science.

“dean,” he whines in falsetto, dragging out the syllables and stomping his foot like a toddler throwing a fit, “you didn’t even notice i changed my lip gloss!”

and she just stares at him, wide-eyed, because what the fuck, that was something she said — one time! — and how the hell does he remember that?

but it’s the delivery that kills her. the smug little smirk curling at the corner of his mouth after every line, the way he can’t help but crack up halfway through, shoulders shaking, dimples out in full force. she wants to be pissed. really. but it’s impossible when he’s grinning at her like that, eyes all crinkled, looking so stupidly proud of himself.

and the moment she so much as snorts? game over. he’s in her space immediately, wrapping himself around her like a smug little barnacle, peppering kisses over her cheek and jaw even as she tries to shove him off.

“see? you think i’m funny,” he says, voice muffled against her skin.

“i think you’re deranged,” she says, even as her hand curls into the fabric of his shirt to keep him close.

but he knows. she likes it. the teasing, the way he memorizes her. it makes her feel seen in that unspoken way, like even when he’s being a menace, he’s paying attention. and honestly? she gives as good as she gets. next time he does it, she’s just gonna mimic him right back. pop her collar, grab an invisible beer bottle, drop her voice an octave and go, “yeah, babe, i’m dean winchester, i don’t need a plan, i’ve got a gun and daddy issues.”

needless to say, he’ll be crying.

[eeriepromis]

| Characters: Genderbent!Caleb & Zayne | Prompt: Chrono Rewrite | Premise: Caleb and the Love Interests traveled back in time after failing to prevent the world from becoming Philos. Caleb woke up with his body transformed into a females one. || Note: MC is called Mei.

The One Where MC Walks in at the Worst Possible Moment

Caleb was done with this.

The past was already a nightmare to navigate, time travel had screwed with his body, and to top it all off, Zayne was being a stubborn, insufferable pain in the ass.

"Zayne, I swear to God, just give it back!" Caleb growled, his voice sharper than usual - but that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that his voice was higher-pitched now, thanks to the whole "waking up in a woman’s body" situation.

Zayne, as always, remained completely unfazed, holding the stolen device high above his head like a schoolyard bully hoarding a toy. His expression was impassive, his glasses reflecting the dim light of the room, but Caleb could see the amusement lurking beneath his usual deadpan demeanor.

“No.”

Caleb’s eye twitched.

“Zayne, I’m warning you-”

Zayne tilted his head, his grip tightening around the small cylindrical device. “You’re in no position to make threats.”

Oh, that was it.

Caleb lunged.

It wasn’t his best move, considering his new center of gravity was still a pain in the ass to adjust to, but he was not going to let this arrogant doctor win.

Zayne, of course, had been expecting the attack. He sidestepped at the last second, letting Caleb’s momentum carry him forward-

Which resulted in both of them crashing into the bed behind them.

Caleb’s legs tangled awkwardly with Zayne’s, their bodies colliding, the device clattering to the side. He barely had time to curse before Zayne - the smug bastard - twisted, flipping their positions so that Caleb was pinned beneath him.

The weight of him was solid, firm, and way too damn close.

Caleb froze.

Zayne did not.

He still had one arm braced above Caleb’s head, the other gripping Caleb’s wrist to keep him from scrambling up. His face was inches away, cool breath fanning against Caleb’s cheek.

And that was the exact moment Caleb decided to make things worse.

"Give it to me!"

He bucked against Zayne’s hold, frustrated and completely unaware of how bad the phrasing was.

Zayne’s eyebrow arched.

And then-

The door swung open.

Silence.

A very long, painful silence.

Then-

“Oh.”

Both Caleb and Zayne’s heads snapped toward the door.

Standing there, holding a plate of snacks, was Mei.

She blinked. Slowly.

Took in the scene.

Zayne half on top of Caleb, pinning her to the bed. Caleb’s wrists caught, legs tangled. Caleb’s flushed, struggling expression. Zayne’s blank but dangerously close posture.

And- Caleb’s words, echoing back at her.

'Give it to me!'

Mei's lips twitched.

She tilted her head. “Am I interrupting?”

Caleb made a strangled noise.

Zayne remained as still as a corpse, likely debating whether clearing things up was even worth the effort.

Mei’s eyes gleamed.

“Oh, don’t mind me~,” she chirped, already turning back toward the door with a suspiciously amused sway in her step. “You two carry on. Have fun!”

“MEI, WAIT-”

The door slammed shut.

Caleb laid there for a solid five seconds, staring at the ceiling, absolutely mortified.

Zayne was the first to break the silence.

“…I’m not explaining that.”

Caleb let out a very, very long sigh.

“…Kill me.”

Zayne adjusted his glasses. “Not in my job description.”

Caleb groaned, wrestling himself free. He sat up, glaring at Zayne. “This is your fault.”

Zayne, completely unbothered, picked up the device and handed it to Caleb.

Caleb stared at it.

Then back at Zayne.

Zayne blinked. “You didn’t specify when I should give it to you.”

Caleb was going to kill him.

But first, he had to fix this mess with Mei.

If she hadn’t already told the entire damn city.

[genericpuff]

Who is your favorite LO character? Who is your favorite LR character?

i feeeeel like my answers change every time i get asked this question JFDSKLAFJSDALK but that's okay because it just means i'm constantly finding new ways to analyze and explore these characters >:3

LO faves: Minthe and Hephaestus.

Minthe because she obviously gets such shit treatment in the comic and subsequently from the fanbase, but she's a lot more relatable than 99% of the characters in the plot, she feels like she has actual depth and a real character arc, even if that arc ended with an unceremonious whisper. It goes to show how great of a character she was that Rachel practically had to nerf her out of the plot, because it was often only ever at its best when she was present. Funny how as soon as she was written out, there was nothing interesting going on with Hades or Persephone anymore - the plot was literally so boring without her that Rachel literally tried to create a Minthe 2.0 through Leuce, and we all know how well that went /s

As for Hephaestus, nothing super specific, I just like his vibes. Maybe it's just my absent older brother issues, but I would love to just like, hang out with him, game in the same room as him, just autistic parallel play stuff, I think he would be into that. Only complaint is the design flaw of giving him running blades as the default prosthetic, that can't be comfortable for his hips and joints. But that's not his fault u.u and that's basically my only complaint about him which makes him a winner in my book, esp compared to the rest of the cast. He might not be in the comic all that much, but that was clearly to his benefit because it seems the more attention Rachel pays to a character, the worse they wind up being in the long run due to poor writing. Hephaestus is in the comic just enough, not too little, not too often.

So yeah, Minthe and Hephaestus are both 10/10 characters written by a 0/10 writer. They did the best they could... not Rachel of course, she did literally the bare minimum of "representation" which often came across as ignorant white knighting at best and blatant stereotyping / stigmatizing at worst, I mean that Hephaestus and Minthe did the best they could as genuinely interesting characters with unique circumstances and disabilities who were being written by an amateur Wattpad-level writer with a privileged white guilt complex lmao

LR faves (within the cast that's currently been introduced): Persephone and Dionysus.

I know, very different from my LO choices, esp considering Persephone herself within LO is literally one of the most insufferable characters by the end, but I'm frankly having a great time rewriting her in my own way, especially in regards to her specific role as the "wrathful side" of Kore. I know I've gotten questions regarding the interpretation of Kore as a DID system, and while that interpretation is totally valid, the angle I always approached it from was that repressed trauma and emotional bottlenecking. Obviously those two things are, in and of themselves, contributing factors to DID, so far be it from me to tell people they can't identify with Kore / Persephone as DID representation. It just motivates me even more to give her the character arc she deserves and never got. It's gonna be messy. It's even gonna be downright ugly at times.

But I hope, in the end, that anyone who identifies with her struggles will find closure and comfort in the resolution of her story. It's certainly a challenging tightrope to walk, between honoring the themes of her original myth, retelling a version of her that almost existed in LO (a version that I was hoping for and never got), and dissecting the implications of my own version of her throughout LR's narrative, but it's a challenge that I've been having a great time undertaking and all I can hope for is that I can meet and possibly exceed my own expectations - as well as the readers - in the end. This is Kore's story - it's also Persephone's.

As for Dionysus... he's just a very, very fun character to write, and someone who I had the advantage of introducing before he was depicted in LO. It wasn't intentional but it sure as shit paid off because even though I'm sure some will assume that this is my own re-interpretation of Rachel's version of the character, myself and anyone else who was there at the time can vouch that Dionysus was aaaalllll me, baby LMAO

All that said, we're obviously going at it from a VERY different angle than how he was tackled in LO, but I'm hoping people enjoy his presence in the story, especially as he becomes more involved (which is very, very soon wink wink) The roles have definitely reversed here with Dionysus taking on more of a "parental" role to Kore rather than the other way around. I feel like his characterization has only grown stronger in hindsight compared to what we got in LO, especially where he's one of the only characters who beat LO to the punch and wound up being in a sort of arms race with Rachel's depiction ─=≡Σ((( つ•̀ω•́)つ

[petalsandantlers]

for @jilymicrofics/ march prompt n.2: chaperone (1000 words) regency AU

enjoy xx

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Lady Lily Evans had made a habit of avoiding Lord Potter at every possible turn.

It was not an easy task, given the season’s insistence on hosting insufferable balls and outings, where every eligible woman was meant to flutter her lashes and charm her way into a man’s regard. Lily, for all her mother’s best efforts, found herself wholly unsuited to the endeavor.

It was not that she lacked beauty—she had been told often enough that her red hair was a rarity and her green eyes remarkable. Nor was it that she lacked wit—if anything, she had too much of it, sharp as a blade and just as likely to cut. No, the trouble was that she had no patience for pretense. She would not simper, she would not curtsy demurely when she disagreed, and she would certainly not be charmed by James Potter.

And yet, somehow, she had been saddled with him.

“I do not require a chaperone,” she hissed as they strolled through the rose gardens of Lady Macmillan’s estate. The evening air was cool, perfumed with the scent of late summer blooms. Behind them, a few other couples took similar turns around the gravel paths, watched closely by watchful mothers and vigilant aunts. “This is entirely unnecessary.”

James, the picture of casual elegance in his dark coat and cravat, merely grinned. “And yet, Lady Evans, here I am.”

She shot him a glare. “I know full well why. Your mother and mine are in league.”

“They are, rather.” He did not seem the least bit bothered by the fact. “I find it charming, don’t you?”

Lily made an exasperated sound. “Hardly.”

Her mother, in a fit of desperation after yet another suitor had left their house red-faced and insulted, had contrived with Lady Potter to ensure Lily had at least one acceptable escort this season. James had been all too willing to take up the role, much to Lily’s eternal vexation.

He was not the worst of men. That, Lily would grant him. He was respectable, wealthy, and of good family. He was clever, which she might have appreciated were it not for the fact that he used that cleverness almost exclusively to irritate her. And then, of course, there was his utterly infuriating ability to smile as if everything in the world was delightfully amusing, especially her indignation.

“You needn’t look as though I have personally doomed you to misery,” James remarked, glancing down at her. “You might even find my company agreeable if you gave it a chance.”

She scoffed. “Highly unlikely.”

“And yet,” he mused, “we always seem to find ourselves in each other’s company. A rather telling pattern, don’t you think?”

Lily did not dignify that with a response.

They walked in silence for a moment, the sound of their shoes crunching against the gravel the only thing between them. Other couples meandered ahead, slow and dreamy in the moonlight, whilst she and James were locked in this endless battle of wills. It was exhausting. It was—

“I heard about Lord Snape,” James said suddenly, voice quieter, more serious. “He left your house in quite a state.”

Lily pursed her lips. “He deserved it.”

“I’m sure he did,” James said, and though his tone was light, there was a flicker of something else in his expression. “Still, I hope he did not distress you overmuch.”

Lily hesitated. It was a rare thing for him to drop his mask of amusement. She was not quite sure what to do with it.

“He said something unkind about my sister,” she admitted after a moment, voice clipped. “I did not take it well.”

“Good.”

That startled her. She turned to look at him properly, and he was watching her with an intensity that stole the breath from her lungs. “Good?”

“Yes.” His mouth quirked up in a half-smile. “You should not take such things well. You ought to send every fool who insults you or those you love running.”

She did not know what to say to that. Her fingers curled against the fabric of her gloves. “My mother was not pleased.”

“No,” he agreed. “I imagine she was not.”

Silence stretched between them again, but this time, it was different. Less combative, more… thoughtful.

The path curved, bringing them back toward the great house, where the light and music of the ball spilled out into the night. Lily exhaled slowly, gathering her wits.

“I suppose I must thank you,” she said begrudgingly. “For this… chaperoning business.”

James raised his brows, clearly surprised. “You suppose?”

She gave him a look. “Yes, well, I am certain you are only enduring it to please your mother, but it is preferable to some of the alternatives.”

James stopped walking then, and Lily, caught off guard, did too. She turned to face him, irritation flaring again—until she saw his expression.

“I am not enduring anything,” he said, his voice quiet, steady. “Do you truly think I need my mother’s prompting to want to be near you?”

Lily’s heart skipped, stuttered. Her throat felt suddenly dry. “I—”

“I have danced attendance on you all season, not because I was made to, but because I wanted to.” His gaze burned, something raw beneath the teasing veneer. “And if I am to be your chaperone, Lily, then let it be known—I am only protecting you from men who are not me.”

Her breath came short. She did not—she could not—

Somewhere inside, a new set began, violins sweeping into a waltz. The world pressed in, too many eyes, too much heat, and yet, for a moment, it was only the two of them, balanced on the edge of something precarious.

Then James stepped back, offering his arm, his expression shifting into something lighter. “Shall we?”

Lily hesitated—only a fraction—before she placed her hand upon his sleeve.

And as they stepped back into the light, she wondered how long she had been mistaking the battle between them for anything but the beginning of surrender.

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[matchadobo]

KIDD; wedding headcanons

warning/s: partial nsfw but no occurrence of the actual thing, super fluff i died and alived

i'll fix the formatting lateeeerr >:) red ones are individual bullets while white ones are subheadings of the previous red one (hope that makes sense)

* when you bring the question to him he'll be like:

* "me? you wanna marry me?" he'd point to himself.

* "yes, silly! who else?!"

* "i-i mean," he'll instantly become red and start fumbling over his words. "i-i was supposed to pop the damn question out..."

* you best bet it'll be a full blown steampunk wedding! he'd want it to be in the victoria but it's also fine with him if you'd want a beach or garden wedding so long as the theme stays. this i what i think he'll be wearing, the aesthetic of the event, and what your gown'll be.

* during preparations, he'd mostly leave it up to you so long as you follow his color palette: red and blacks. but when it comes to foods, he'd be keen on having an attendance while you taste test and choose out stuff.

his and your fits

* before your wedding day, he'd be soooo anxious. i have this thought that when you two are individually out on your bachelor/ette parties, he'd be calling you by the end of it just cuz he can't sleep.

* "it's pretty late, kidd. did your party just finished?"

* "yeah, every one's knocked out of their damn minds. and apparently, i can't fuckin' sleep."

* "hmm, nervous?"

* "like the fuck i am." he'd try to deny it but eventually give in. "i wanna see you before i sleep."

* "but you know the superstition-"

* "fuck that shi-"

* "no! i don't want any bad luck!"

* "luck? baby, we defy all odds, don't we?"

* he'd insist but you'll also insist. so he just settled on an overnight call where you two slept in.

* during the wedding day, you two'll be tired as fuck because the only sleep you guys got was 2-3 hours because of talking and comforting each other until 5 😭. while getting ready, kidd will be more impatient and irritated than usual. but it's just due to the combination of weariness and anxiety. mostly anxiety. he never felt this anxious when it comes to you, he'd always be confident about how you two felt about each other. but right now, all he thinks if he's sure or not. if you're sure with him. eustass kidd never doubts, but he feels so deeply for you he'd never want to hurt you and that brings him to a wall. the people involve with him that day had a hard time working with him because his attitude is extraaa mean 😔

* but when he sees you at the end of the aisle as you donned a dress that looked way too good on you it was insane to him, all his worries left his body through a tear that cascaded down his eye.

* "you crying?" killer nudged kidd, noticing the taller to reach over his breast pocket to fish out the hanky.

* "shut up, you ain't the one doing the marryin'."

* i imagine his vows to reflect the kind of person he is, passionate and brute about it. he'll be soooo poetic it'd surprise you.

* "where do i even start fuck-" you'd giggle along with the audience. "i do lotsa damn declarations but this is makin' me shy, jeez."

* "name," he'd sheepishly look at you. "you are my dream and i honestly curse the seas that i'd only found you nos and not at the time i needed you the most. and now i, for the life of me, can't imagine how i'd live without you."

* "i, eustass kid, will put hands on anyone who mess with my wife, if those fuckers think they're so big, well so am i, aye?! if she cries i'll cry with her, and trust me when i say i will kill any bastard who dares do her wrong, because that's my wife, they better not look at her cuz she's taken, she's mine. got it?"

* "you've learned to love me, an insufferable asshole, in ways i never thought possible. you've seen the worst and the best, the weak and the strong, the ugly and somehow the pretty in me. you make me a better man."

* "you conquered all my fears, seized my pride, and built my strength. you are the reason i became the way i am today. you crawled your way in 'ere and took control over my heart, you little monster."

* "from the start, i haven't exactly been kind to you. i mean, i've been rude, and disrespectful; but you grew on me, you were patient and measured up to my irritated ass... so much that I don't know what happened, you really snuck up on me... so may you forgive me my past dumb mistakes. because even if I am stupid and mean, and I may not show my love properly, I love you and will do anything to give you what you fuckin' deserve. you know that."

* "name is a great woman, one who stands and always fights for what she wants, and I want the honor of being your husband. we'll conquer anything, yeah?"

* "okay i'm very fucking embrassed now so i'll just come out and say it... I need to marry you, not because I love you, not because I like you, but because I have to to... yeah, I said it, I don't like you or love you, i need you in my fucking life."

* man he'd end up crying while saying them. but his voice wouldn't waver, it's eustass kidd come ooooon

* he'd be dramatic and give you the bridal kiss where you kind of hang mid air and he supports your back.

* reception would be firrrreee it'd be an absolute rave! you'd have your wedding dress be modified where you can discard the tulle or some shit to make the dress shorter.

* your guests and dearest friends each made a speech about your craziness with each other

* "kidd was so damn insane for this girl. one time, he asked me if he should get her an otter or dung beetle as a christmas present. bro doesn't even celebrate christmas until she came along!"

* "kidd stood out as one of name's partners, he was the first jackass she fell for that was actually a keeper."

* "i'm telling you, kidd became so self-conscious when he met name! he started worrying if his lipstick was the right shade or if his eyeliner looked neat!"

* "what confuses me was whenever they talked to me about each other, the word 'i hate' always comes first and them being whipped follows after. it was annoying."

* drinking games come after, trivias about the couple and between you two after. and as expected, it was competitive because neither of you wanted to lose and give way 🤣. kidd as a man, will never go easy and let you win tho. he respects you like that.

* but what prompted me to make this hc is the wedding garter tradition 🫦. this will be his favorite part. he'd be very extra tho,

* he'll take off his suit jacket and roll up his sleeves when you two are in front for the act.

* he'd maintain reaaaally strong eye contact and will be feeling himself while you burn red and start fanning yourself from laughing or actually feeling flustered under his gaze.

* he'd get under your dress, have a long whiff of that 🐱 and his breath'll tickle you bc he nasty like that, lick your thigh a little, give the flesh on your hips a squeeze, and drag the garter off with his teeth very very languidly

* he'll be very pouty when it's time to give it to the bestman tho

* then the actual rave comesss! blasting music and lights at the victoria, it didn't seem like a wedding reception. but you and kidd were in the center of it all, dancing with each other the same way you two met in a bar.

* "wanna get out of here?" he whispered with his hands on your hips, bending down to your ear due to the deafening beats.

* "hmm, ain't this familiar?" you giggled.

* "aye. this is the part where you come with me and we kiss at the back."

* "eh? that's different from what i remember. your mean ass was angry at me for stepping on your shoe." you poked at his nose while he laughed subtly.

* "shh shh, we both know how bad that ended. bar got fucked up real good." you two broke out in laughter, reminiscing at old times.

* kidd would inevitably drag you to his quarters, man's hungrryyyyy

* he'd be so desperate to take off your clothes, with how beautiful you look today and how he was deprived of you for a couple of nights

* you'd leave the deck making out, walkign sideways, backwards, u name it

* "it'd be pretty weird if the bride and groom's gone on their reception, right?" you broke out of the kiss.

* "and we don't give a shit about it, don't we?" he'd grin, tugging at your lips

* aaaand stuff thst happens in the honeymoon happened 😏

been in the works foR WAY TOO LONG

[tozettastone]

hi! i saw the below post and was reminded of your great fic where an oc breaks up with her bf and rooms with hidan and kakuzu! i love how, in the way you write it, many of their terriblenesses are so incredibly Not Covered By these categories. tumblr dot com slash doodleconner slash 770051437896089600 slash with-ops-good-will-heres-a-more-refined-version

Aha! Here's the meme: https://www.tumblr.com/doodleconner/770051437896089600/with-ops-good-will-heres-a-more-refined-version

And here's the fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35676364?view_full_work=true

And here's me filling out the meme about the Kakuzu in the fic! You're right, anon, there's no specific entry that covers "potential loss of life" or "cursed spaghetti monsters abscond with your washing machine" or even "housemate's spouse sacrifices your ex to a dread god." But I did my best to work with what I was given. :P

I filled this out on my phone so I'm sorry about the way I fat-fingered all the writing while I finger painted it.

It reads:

Name: Kakuzu

Age: Old

Worst trait: Murder

Rooming situation: Rents his spare room to sad woman. Loud situationship/marriage.

Insufferability (Generalized social unpleasantness) 4/5 for insufferability. He threatens to kill Atsuko the day he meets her, which I think falls under "social unpleasantness." I'm giving him a 4 instead of a 5 because it's clear from the text that Atsuko prefers his death threats to the advanced bullshit of Hotaru, her ex.

Intrusiveness (Violations of privacy, control issues, etc) 2/5 for intrusiveness, because although he is controlling enough that it's clear he will murder her if she violates their agreement in any way, he doesn't care enough about Atsuko's comings and goings to really get involved. He also gets a lower score on this because he's compared to her ex in the fic. You just can't beat "makes fraudulent missing persons report to try to control partner who has broken up with you" for intrusiveness, so that's the scale we're working with for this fic.

Poor Hygiene (Both personal and communal, such as cleaning the bathroom) 3/5. I was going to rate this really low, because the text is clear that they are all cleaning up after themselves, but then I remembered that he returns from missions covered in soot and blood. So there's a certain level of low-personal-hygiene behaviour going on here. Oops.

Rent Failure (Punctuality, intentional evasion, etc) 0/5. Ha. Haha. Ha. On this one, Kakuzu is very reliable. God help you if you're not, Atsuko.

Communal Spaces Mistreatment (Loud volume, excessively long showers, etc) 2/5. Makes his situationship/husband howl like he's being murdered 5 nights a week. Few other problems, but a girl really needs her sleep.

Communication Issues (Bottling issues up, passive aggressive behavior, etc) 0/5. Kakuzu is a clear communicator of his expectations and how he will murder Atsuko if she doesn't meet them. Also, I would not call Kakuzu "passive aggressive," no.

Interpersonal Issues (Pre-existing drama, baggage, ill will, etc) 3/5. Considers friendliness highly suspect. Hostile. Weird about money. His husband deserves an entry in some kind of wildlife encyclopaedia. Heavily implied to come with an entire administration's worth of internal Ame ninja bullshit, which Atsuko is blessedly not much affected by during the course of the text.

Maincharacter Syndrome (Need for validation, self importance, disregard of others, etc) 3/5 for this also. He is extraordinarily self centred, which is why he gets annoyed with Atsuko when she tries to apologise to him, casually tosses her around to get to Hotaru's place, and steals Atsuko's washing machine, books and radio. It's also why he doesn't warn her at all about his live-in, super-non-platonic life partner.

HE ONLY SCORED 17 OUT OF A POSSIBLE 40. ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

I don't think I was being especially generous either.

[furubabasket]

(warning: sera critical, sorry)

so. I wish I could love Sera DragonAge (I even romanced her my first playthrough, though I never got past WEWH in that run) but. man. she is just so close-minded. every time I hope she’s going to be mature about something she turns around and says the most reactionary childish thing possible. she’s incredibly judgmental. she actively and vitriolicly avoids anything she’s uncomfortable with (magic, elfyness, spirits, etc.) to a level that is alarming in someone who’s supposed to be a leader and champion for the downtrodden. it comes down to one thing for me: she hates nobles more than she loves people.

and, like! those flaws would be really interesting if we saw more positives from her. and/or if she matured DURING the story instead of getting a supposed emotional growth spurt between DA:I and Trespasser (which I haven’t actually played myself yet, so admittedly I can’t speak on how she is during that DLC), but she doesn’t. we don’t get to point out that she routinely makes messes for the “little people” to clean up, etc. we get to call her crazy and treat her like shit if we want to, but that isn’t what I want! I want to sit down with her and ask her to keep her mouth shut for two seconds while someone with a different experience is talking. I want to ask her if she can please manage to take someone (anything) seriously instead of making a shitty joke about their trauma or calling them crazy. (AKA I miss some of DA:II’s rivalry system.)

I understand why she’s like this. I think it’s interesting. but it makes her insufferable and nonsensical to take anywhere as the face of the Inquisition. where her writing really fails is the way nearly all of our responses to her are (at best) bemused or (at worst) mean—and not “sensibly critical” mean, but “personal attack”/“needlessly cruel” mean. again, we can’t actually call her out on her shit. we can just sort of treat her like a dumb kid and ignore her feelings as completely irrelevant/stupid. which sucks. her feelings matter. even if I think she shouldn’t yell at people and mock them and act generally like a shitty myopic teenager (note: she IS young, but not that young), in order for her to be more mature she has to actually address her feelings and work through them. she has to get comfortable with being uncomfortable and learn how to listen to others respectfully even when she doesn’t agree. our Inquisitor treating her like shit randomly just confirms her hatred of “big people” without any personal growth. again, she hates more than she loves. she hates BECAUSE she loves, supposedly, but the writing should have focused on that love harder if we aren’t meant to find her insufferable and immature.

I just think Sera would be much more enjoyable of a character if we could see her become more levelheaded and/or help her work through some of that personal shit to a deeper level, because during the game she is so mired in her own issues that, for me��…. she barely even twitches the needle on the scale from “misanthropic and explosive self-hating teen” to the “chaotic but community-minded resistance organizer” she supposedly is.

[castlebyersafterdark]

possibly a controversial opinion because bylers are often keen to demonstrate their love for el, but:

i think that a big part of getting audiences to move away from loving mileven was in making el a frustrating character as much as mike. bylers talk about why mike's actions show his hidden love for will, while milevens argue why his actions show he loves el. but no one talks about how el's storyline both within, and without, mileven show that they are no good together.

only saying this because i just saw this comment: 'My dream is that we’ll see Mike and El fighting evil side by side like a warrior king and queen.'

which, cute, i wanted that after the snow ball too. but then s3 happened. and you have to wonder: why were mileven SO annoying immediately in s3? it wasnt just mike. i stand by this: el was smarmy af and i hated the way she clung to mike. idgaf if people are gonna call me ableist or what have you, because her developmental issues have made her endearing so many times in the show, but they were NOT framed this way in s3 when she was with mike. el was made to be an annoying bad egg in that relationship, too.

and in s4, i truly believe the audience is made to cringe at even the concept of her and mike together, due to the way they both act, look, appear on screen. and el has so much screen time that i think it's supposed to make us long for something else, like finally seeing will's side of the story. el fatigue is real and lots of viewers mention it, not just fans. i'll never forget how literally nobody noticed when she wasn't even in dear billy, which is considered the best episode of s4.

i hope i don't sound cruel, because when el is rocking it, she's rocking it. but when she's meant to annoy us (like in many scenes with mike), she's really grating. the scene where they fight in 4x03 is one of my favourites, i think it's gorgeously acted and finn and millie have incredible actor's chemistry. not romantic chemistry, but dramatic chemistry. just goes to show that the other awkward, flat, dead mileven scenes in s4 are very much deliberate.

OOOOOHH CONTROVERSY AND I AGREEE COMPLETELY

First - outta the way - the comment "My dream is that we’ll see Mike and El fighting evil side by side like a warrior king and queen" almost made me throw up 🤣 NO. Holy shit that's so cooked. No. Kill me.

But this really nails a lot of the critique of Mike and El together - and show relevant reasoning, just calling it like we're seeing it. They are soooo bad together. Season 1 - fine, there was a lot going on, the innocence of youth, it was simple. Season 2 - Mike and El weren't together for most of it, survivor's guilt, reunited and emotions were high, getting that little formative preteen moment. THEN - actually dating??? They are the WORST! Both of them turned into bad versions of themselves - and sad for El who barely had a version of herself. She didn't even know how to form her own interests, pointed out by means of friendship with Max, and we're to root for El and Mike as boyfriend and girlfriend? That right there is insane. "How do I know what I like" and we're to root for Mike and El. That's crazy.

If Mike was an asshole in season 3, El had her less than redeeming moments as well - and they're teenagers, and teenagers are insufferable!! That's the whole point of season 3! They make bad decisions and are annoying little shits and get swept up in feelings and silly relationships. We don't hate them for it, but suffer through alongside them and watch and hope that they make it through alright and figure themselves out in the end. Give them grace - but it's ok to point out their flaws.

So many people are so afraid of saying anything negative about El and yes, they do put a lot of it on Mike. But... what does El ever do for Mike? WHAT does she bring to their relationship???? Like, in general. He's like an accessory for her. And that's irritating. And so... I think the show has been leading us to see how ridiculous that couple is.

WAIT - she wasn't in Dear Billy?? I never noticed that either and that's quite something, isn't it?

But it's not a hatred for this character for me - it's just a wish for her to be involved in something else. Negate the fatigue. It's time for El to move herself forward in the story, enough self-searching and being lost - time to act, time to be something for someone else as a means to help herself. It's why the fatigue is there - what more can she do other than revisit her past and yell to expend powers in an act of destruction and struggle in her relationship and demand empty words of love from a boy where they are so obviously not coming easy which says it all, girl!!! Take action. Move on!

We need to see her working with others, we need to see her choosing good, we need to see her utilizing any lesson, any positive. Her moment at the end of season 4 was El at her best - saving Max. Here's to hoping her story is about her working with others to save their friend, spending screen time with her pseudo mother and father to drive home the point that her family can give her strength most of all - and my own hope for El if the story rumor is true that the govt. is stealing kids again - taking back her past by securing the future for those other kids. Saving people, rather than her big moments being violence. The show needs to drive home her humanity rather than the superhero she fears is all she is - and the fear that in the end it's a flashy El is the superhero thing and they do her whole character arc dirty.

Also - if El survives the series she needs to lose her powers. That's important I feel... might be controversial as well...

[nexstage]

Sugargedon

Restless & Rotten - Part 1

Bill had a list of stuff that deeply hurt him. Yeah, it’s true. He barely thought about it because why someone as powerful as him would ever need to revisit potential weaknesses? He didn’t have them, he never did. Nope, nada, zero.

Of course, his denial couldn’t hide the moments he was caught off guard and left speechless. Like when McGucket’s overuse of the memory gun lacerated him when he invaded his mind. Or when Mackerel used him, HIM, to save his imbecilic family! Or when Mr. I-Love-Sugar-So-Much-It-Makes-Me-An-Idiot turned him into a human against his will thinking it was fun!! Or when— You know what? Let’s leave it like that.

Anyway, while those moments were annoying and humiliating, dealing with teenage drama, hormones, and useless pettiness was way worse especially if said teenager was the grand-nibling of his two worst enemies.

To make it worse, you couldn’t imagine who decided to be merciless and unforgiving despite their naive moralistic charade!

“You have no idea how it felt having the best parts of you turned into weapons of mass destruction just because a jerk -AKA YOU!- found it funny! Now I can’t even stomach having good dreams or using my imagination ‘cause every time it happens, it reminds me of how much pain they caused thanks to your Dumb Core!”

“It’s Core of Chaos,” he corrected monotonously. A pebble hit him in the back of the head. If he had energy, he could’ve thrown a rock and watch her squirm in pain as she gathered her bloodied lips and broken teeth. Let’s see if she liked that!

So, yeah, congrats if you thought it was Shooting Star who couldn’t stop antagonizing him for five seconds. If you chose Pine Tree, too bad, buddy. You must be lower in the evolutionary scale than Stanley Pines.

“To make it worse, you possessed someone else!” Oh stars, couldn’t she shut up? “Thank goodness it wasn’t Dipper but it was still horrible and wrong! Blendin could’ve gotten hurt!”

“Aha, sure. Just admit you barely remember the guy and let’s move on, shall we?” He got up and a few steps later, the Pines girl interfered, ferocious glare in her face. “Don’t twist things, Bill! If you possessed someone, of course I would care! You almost killed my brother when you possessed him. I read your note!!”

This time he smiled which incensed her more although he gave no shits about that. The hilarity of Pine Tree being stuck in the Mindscape while his family mourned him, believing he went insane to the point of suicide pushed aside the horrible reality his enemies had forced upon him. That was until a foot stomped on his toes and he shrieked, cursing in an ancient language.

“You little—!!”

“Didn’t like it, uh?” She smirked with a cruel smugness that he would’ve considered impressive if it hadn’t been targeted at him. “For someone who is like as old as the Earth, you can’t even understand when people doesn’t like what you do to them!”

His bitter laugh caught her off guard. “Understanding? Them? Oh kid, you got it all wrong.” He replied, condescension pouring from his mouth. “I made you a favor.” Her face contorted in horror and he continued. “You think this punny world has anything worthwhile to offer? The only stuff coming from it is rules, restrictions, limitations, and a bunch of idiots who label themselves as superior because their lives are as flat as yours! I gave you POWER!! I turned your imagination into a well of infinite possibilities by destroying the pathetic, insufferable barrier that was reality! You embrace chaos, Shooting Star. Admit it! You love it! Why being held back by idiotic expectations from the most boring fools in history or by your own family when you could show them all what you’re truly capable of?”

The minutes passed. The horror and hurt in her face changed into an epiphany, sort of. Bill wondered if he had gotten through her. Sure, he would’ve turned her into a Henchmaniac due to her potential for chaos and destruction if it weren’t for her mind screaming alerts against him, but just having her feelings directed toward her family, breaking the bonds she held the dearest, now that is an excellent prize for comfort.

“You… He told me kind of the same things.” She finally replied. His smugness diminished at that statement. Stupid yellow dog taking away his powers; he needed to know what she was thinking about.

“Excuse me, kid, what?” He asked, pretending to not have heard her to hide the lack of his reading-mind ability.

Mabel glared thrice as harsh as before. “I said that he told me the same stuff as you. Kind of. That my family was holding me back, that they couldn’t be trusted, that Dipper was an hypocrite with no right to give me advice, and other junk! But that’s not true! Me and my family might not be perfect but we love each other. We forgave one another. The Beast—“

Bill stifled a growl. So Shooting Star was talking about the traitor after all! Ok then, time to twist the topic. “The Beast is just a sore loser who preyed on others. Nothing new, nothing special. I have to admit it, kid, you defeating his worst technique made my day. It takes guts and wits to do such a thing.”

“I did it thanks to Dipper. He was going to kill him! Just like you were trying to kill us all! You and him are one and the same!!”

The environment became cold, freezing. Time seemed to stop. Despite being in a cave, a dark, thunderous cloud hung over them. No, it hung over him, sucking away his smirk, the pleasure to manipulate Shooting Star, the annoyance, the boredom, leaving behind emptiness. Although this void didn’t look like one you’d find in a black hole but in the interior of a furious beast.

“What did you say?” If Mabel had taken a few minutes to analyze Bill’s voice and posture, she would’ve noticed the sharp monotony that spoke nothing but trouble.

“Are you deaf or what? I said you and him and one and the same!”

A few steps echoed in the rocky walls of the cave. Mabel peeked at Bill for a few seconds, then glared at the ground. When the shadow of the humanized demon didn’t move from its new position, she shot him a new glare. However, the effect was lost as she sense a sinister, deadly vibe emanating from his stance, mainly his gaze.

“What?” In a matter of seconds, she was lifted by the neck of her sweated eliciting a frightened shriek. Her blood turned into ice due to the darkness in Bill’s expression. As if whatever was holding him back from killing her was a few moments from snapping.

“Do not. DO NOT. Compare me. To that good-for-nothing. Life-ruining! Hideous! Treacherous! Imbecili— Aaaagghhhhh!!” He let her go the moment her spit hit his eye. Why the fuck they always aimed at the eye?! Why couldn’t they show more respect?!

Mabel, on the other hand, sprinted to a new direction. She wasn’t going to stay and have him strangling her, no sir!

[electronickingdomfox]

"Vulcan!" review

A novel by Kathleen Sky, from 1978. This one was bad, bad, BAD. I'd say it's the worst I've read so far, and I really hope it doesn't get any worse than this. The characters, in particular Spock and McCoy, are sometimes unrecognizable, the barebones plot barely makes any sense, and the (self-insert?) character is really unlikable. At least it's short, so through sheer masochism willpower, I got to read it in record time, to forget it as soon as possible.

Spoilers under the cut:

The Romulan border is shifting, since the magnetic fields that determine the Neutral Zone are being affected by ion storms. Soon, the system of the planet Arachnae will fall under Romulan territory. I mean, it will be rightfully Romulan, simply because of the shifting nature of borders as they're defined. Is Starfleet going to accept this, just as the Romulans would have to accept a natural expansion of the Federation, if it came to happen? Nah! Prime Directive be damned! They send the Enterprise to investigate if there's intelligent life in Arachnae that may be worth to keep in the Federation. (And if there is, then what? Do they start a war? On what basis? Whatever.)

In order to determine if the Arachnae inhabitants (some sort of giant ants) are intelligent or not, they need the help of Dr. Mary Sue Katalya Tremain. A biologist who is so, so brilliant, that Starfleet invented new medals just for her, and whose intelligence surpasses even Spock's. As soon as they learn she's coming aboard, Spock and McCoy start competing for her affection (yes, Spock too) by filling her cabin with gifts and flowers and whatnot. But when she beams aboard, it turns out that Dr. Tremain is actually an insufferable bigot who hates Vulcans, and can't even work with them. She's also a major crybaby that resorts to faking hysteria whenever she can't get her way. One has to wonder why Starfleet even allows such a person to be part of its ranks (well, maybe the fact that she's sleeping with a Commodore explains why). We don't see much of her legendary brilliance either, but we learn that she has big boobs. And yes, this book was written by a woman. Obnoxious as she is, she's still a Mary Sue. So everyone has to turn a blind eye to behaviors that would be otherwise unacceptable, and make sure the little princess is comfortable. After all, there must be some good reason for this woman's bigotry (there isn't, but whatever), since she's too wonderful to simply being an asshole. McCoy gets into full "I'm a lover, not a doctor" mode right after seeing her. And five minutes later, he's hitting hard on her, though he seems more of a lecherous creep, rather than a charming, southern gentleman. Ah, yes, he helps her unpack her things, which gives him a chance to paw the sexy lingerie inside the luggage (didn't you know? sexy lingerie is fundamental when going to explore a giant ant planet).

The first half of the book is just a really boring Freudian psychoanalysis of Tremain, only to determine again that, yes, she hates Vulcans, for some undisclosed reason. Meanwhile, McCoy can't decide whether he wants to be professional or horny. He switches back and forth more times than I cared to count. Two days later, he's fallen completely in love with this horrible person who mistreats one of his best friends. Anyway, Tremain friend-zones him soon, so he gets nothing but a little kiss on the forehead. Not that I felt bad about him; McCoy is an asshole in this book.

The second half of the novel gets a bit better, as Spock and Tremain beam down to the planet to meet the Arachneans. McCoy misses the beam down because he was busy chasing after some alien cat in the veterinary section. Yes, the horniness made him stupid or something. So when the giant ants attack the landing party, a lot of people die, and they don't even have a doctor. Kirk can't beam them up because Romulans have appeared to claim the planet, and he can't lower the shields. And that's what Kirk does for the rest of the novel: absolutely nothing. Meanwhile, Tremain and Spock have to work together in order to survive, so she's marginally more professional now. It's Spock's turn to be stupid, though, as he starts to make lewd comments about her, and spying her while she undresses. The reason being!? I don't know, something about proving she hates Vulcans (yeah, I knew that already).

In the end, Spock is attacked by the poisonous ants. And he mind-melds with one, to discover they're not, in fact, intelligent, so it's okay to leave the planet to the Romulans. The mind-meld, however, leaves him insane, and believing he's one of the ants. To restore his sanity, Tremain has to mind-meld with Spock, which is probably the best scene in the book. Then, while exploring her subconscious, it's finally revealed why she hates Vulcans so much. The reason is... she felt an unrequited love for her former Vulcan captain (gasp! I wasn't expecting something like that, no, not at all). Kirk finally decides to do something, and lowers the shields to beam them up, before Spock dies of poisoning, Romulans or not withstanding. He could have done so hours ago, though, before so many people died. Sigh...

Spirk Meter: 2/10*. Kirk stands firmly on Spock's side against Tremain's bigotry, and he's the only one who doesn't tolerate any of her bullshit, just like Chapel (you know, the two persons who love Spock the most). There's also a line about McCoy liking Spock, but not in the same way that Kirk likes him. Though, on the other hand, Kirk's very stubborn about following Starfleet's orders, even if it costs Spock his life, so I don't know... Characterization is hardly coherent.

There may be some Spones too. Tremain says that she can't really love McCoy, because she doesn't feel for him all the things that McCoy feels for Spock, which in her opinion, is love (she's quick to clarify it's not the same kind of love, but still...). McCoy also becomes quite hysterical when Spock's dying on the planet, while Kirk keeps calm. Apart from this, Tremain (who hates Vulcans because of an unrequited crush on one) functions as some sort of placeholder for McCoy himself. It's insisted upon how alike they are, and how they share the same hobbies. Spock calls her "Doctor" all the time, and his banter with her reminds a lot to that with McCoy. In fact, when Spock is being a perv towards Tremain to anger her, he compares his enjoyment of it to the one he gets from riling McCoy. It's rather telling how the author is taking everything from Spock and McCoy's dynamic, while using a woman substitute as a no-homo screen.

*A 10 in this scale is the most obvious spirk moments in TOS. Think of the back massage, "You make me believe in miracles", or "Amok Time" for example.

[fandomwe1rd0]

The Rick and Morty anime is insufferable

Now, just to be clear, I am NOT making fun of anyone who likes the anime! If you like it, that's great! I'm glad that you are able to like it, everyone has different tastes, and I won't hate on you for liking something that doesn't hurt anyone…butttttt that being said, I am going to be VERY harsh towards the anime, so if you like the anime, this probablyyyy isn't the post for you, now if you want to kindly and respectfully disagree with me, then that's completely fine! Now, for everyone that wants to see me hating on this anime, all of my problems and reasons for disliking it under the cut!

Okkkk first off, I am going to say the things I actually like about it!

I like the art style! It feels weird seeing Morty with a neck lol. I like how they kept his big ass head though. The proportions are a little weird, but I feel like it adds to the charm of it in a way

Guys…I FUCKING LOVE THE THEME SONG OH MY GODDDD! I'm ashamed to admit I like it more than the show's theme song. It's just so fucking good and it always gets me hyped even if I know the episode will be bad!

I really like the fluidity of the Tammy and Space Beth fight scene! Like it was fucking awesome! The way it was animated is really good, it made the 2nd episode my favorite actually even if the 2nd episode is still…still not good.

On that note, I feel like they improved Space Beth's character, I mean I didn't really like her in the show, she kinda just felt like Beth (Ik the point she's mean to be like Beth but shush) with no noticable differences besides being ruder. Her getting with domestic Beth is also weird af so I'm glad they ignored that plotline.

And uhm…uhm…I uh…baby Morty was cute andddddd uh…..well….uh….okay onto the cons!

There's like no humor, and even the like, 2 jokes in the first episode weren't funny (The joke about the galactic federation using sex toys as torture toys for clone Rick came off as more uncomfortable than funny to me) and the joke (I think it was a joke?) about Morty clutching his vr helment and crying about how he'll never find love again in the 2nd episode just made me mad, they turned Morty into some pathetic crying helpless baby, but more on that later. Like ik it's meant to be different from the show, but if you're gonna to make an anime verison of a comedy show…it should be funny..even the jokes they do make just…aren't funny.

Too much fan service, ok, ok, ok, before anyone says anything YES I do know that the original show is no stranger to fan service, like in season 6, yes, they did show Rick in a suit, and yes, they did show Rick with 6 packs, but in the show's defense, if you're a show with 71 episodes so far, it's completely fair to have some fan service, but in 4 episodes, their seems to be too much, I mean they show Rick naked twice in the span of 4 episodes, and Morty constantly calling Rick Grandpa (Even with a Rick that didn't want to be called Grandpa) feels a lot like fan service.

Rick and Morty not interacting, this is a big one for me, Rick and Morty are the heart of the show, their dynamic is a huge part of what makes the show great, I mean the show is literally called RICK AND MORTY but they don't interact at all, they did interact in season 4, but it's literally just a few sentences and that's it. I was hoping they would get their own episode but nope! It should be called Morty and Elle because so far they are the only ones that interact a lot. And hohohoh…don't worry….I was absolutely talk about Elle…now again, with the show, Rick and Morty don't interact every episode, and they don't have to, obviously, but if it's a Rick and Morty show, you should set up their dynamic as soon as possible. Even when you see a little bit of their dynamic, it's really bad…literally the best thing about their dynamic is that Rick loves Morty but is scared to show it, but literally in the first minute where they ACTUALLY interact Rick says "Worst case scenario, I just need a strand of your hair to make a clone" ??? WHAT!? I hate that line soooo much. Rick couldn't handle it if Morty died, but here he doesn't care when Morty's life is in danger??? DID THEY EVEN WATCH THE SHOW?? Did they watch a Rickle In Time??? Where Rick literally SACRIFICED HIMSELF FOR MORTY!? Ughhhh I fucking hate that lineeee.

The tone is off. It lacks the energy the original show has, whether you like or dislike the show, you can't deny that it has an unmistakable energy put into it, even with the worst episode, cough RICKDEPEDENCE SPRAY cough there's still a certain energy to it. Like for example, the energy in Rickfending Your Mort always cheers me up when I'm having a day, hyped me up or makes me happier on a good day, but the anime feels so soulless. It lacks the energy. It just feels so tired if that even makes sense. Maybe it the colors or the voices or something, but it lacks the soul and energy that the original show has, like with the show, you can tell that love was put into it, but with the anime, it feels so bland.

It doesn't have to be a Rick and Morty property, now, if this was just some random sci-fi anime, I probably wouldn't care about it, hell, I probably wouldn't even watch it, and that's the point, I feel like the director knew nobody would watch this if it was a random sci-fi anime, but an easy way to get viewers is to use an already popular sci-fi property, that's where Rick and Morty comes in, it doesn't have anything specific that makes it HAVE to be Rick and Morty, like I know the galactic federation is there, and the infinite universe thing, but other than that, there's not a lot of specifically Rick and Morty things it does, I mean nobody's in character, Rick and Morty's dynamic isn't correct, there's no side characters from the original show, hell, I don't think Rick even makes a portal, I don't think we ever saw his portal gun, it could've just been a normal sci-fi anime, it would've still been bad, but it wouldn't be shitting on a show that means so much to me that I love, it doesn't feel like they wanted to make it out of love for the original show, it feels like they wanted to make a sci-fi anime, and wanted a quick way to gain viewers.

The relationships are built very unnaturally, 3 words, show don't tell, that's the main rule in storytelling, I'm just gonna be honest, the relationships in the anime are the prime example of tell don't show, again sorry for comparing it to the show so much, but I just want to show where it fails where the show succeeds, even if I wasn't comparing it to the show, these are still issues if the show wasn't connected to Rick and Morty, it's not bad just in the context of it being a Rick and Morty show, it's bad in general, good? Good. Ok let's move on, in the show, Rick and Morty's dynamic and them caring about each other is built in a very human and natural way, but in the anime, none of the characters have any chemistry, and, an example being Morty and Elle (Fuck you Elle) they tell us Morty feels comfortable and safe Elle, it tells us that Morty and Elle love each other, but it doesn't show it through their interactions, they feel more like friends when they aren't kissing or anything, Elle also kissed Morty without his consent so fuck you Elle!

It doesn't feel like they watched the show. Along with nobody being in character, besides like, maybe Jerry, it doesn't do anything that makes you feel like they watched the show, it's hard to explain, but for example like with Rick and Morty animatics, you can tell they watched the show, but the anime just doesn't have the feel, humor, characters, or really anything to make you feel like they watched and understood the show. Again, I know it's the anime, it's not going to be exactly the same, but it wouldn't hurt for them to make it clear that they watched the show.

The character assassination. Whew this part is gonna be long, buckle in, I'm only going to talk about Rick and Morty, Elle will have her own section (I hate her so fucking much you have no idea)

Rick and Morty are the worst character assassination in the anime. Not all of the characters were assassinated, but they massacred my boys and I will not stand for that.

Rick isn't likable. I'll just say it right here. Rick is amazingly likable in the show and is actually my favorite character. But in the anime, he's just unlikable. Not only does he casually state that he'll just make a clone of his grandson if he dies, but he's an asshole, not in a lovable way, he's so boring, he lacks the chaotic energy that makes Rick entertaining. The thing is, I think he's actually a nihilist which uhm..isn't interesting to watch. He isn't funny, interesting, complex, he doesn't get called out, he doesn't have character development, he's not pathetic, he's no charismatic, he doesn't seem to have a heart, literally everything I like about the original character is gone. They absolutely massacred him.

Morty…oh nooooo! LOOK AT HOW THEY MASSACRED MY BOY! They literally just make him into a pathetic shivering fragile sensitive baby and that's not who he is. It's pathetic. They also make him into a helpless baby who always need someone to hold their hand, mainly Elle, and that's just not who he is. Sure he needs help at times, and of course he cries sometimes, but he isn't just a helpless crying baby who always needs people to do things for him, they try so hard to make him a cute kid, they call him "Grandpa" so many times, even when long-haired Rick didn't want to call him Grandpa, it's just so unnatural.

I FUCKING HATE ELLE OHHH MY GOOOODDD! She makes the animes feel like a self-insert fanfic. Everyone loves her, everyone trusts her, she's strong, pretty, smart, like COME THE FUCK ON! She is a weird mix between a self-insert and mary-sue. There's nothing wrong with her, she's pretty, people love her, she gives the characters the advice they need, she saved Rick and Morty's lives, she's very important to the story, she's the worst of all worlds, she sucks, I HATE HER! She's so annoying, she's actually infuriating. She turns the show into a self-insert fanfic. Actually ALL of the characters feel like they are from a bad fanfic, but I believe that's totally Elle's fault. FUCK ELLE!

Now, I know I'm really harsh towards the anime, but that's because I love Rick and Morty and I want the anime to be great, and I believe it can be great, and I really hope it improves before the seasons ends!

[juniperhillpatient]

also while season 16 is not perfect - I DO want to commend it (sans my worst enemy the bowling episode) for at least trying to regain the vibes of classic sunny & I’ll say that things like the gang getting into an inflatable scheme & the hilarious gimmick of risk e rats & what it does with the characters is soooo good.

I really enjoy the way risk e rats returns to the gang getting comeuppance when they ask for it & the show not aimlessly punching down in a soulless effort to be #edgy. frank & dee’s plot is actually really funny because for once we get back to “these guys are insufferable assholes & everyone hates them” as opposed to “dee sucks even though she’s objectively literally no worse than the rest of the gang & the joke is always on her for no palpable reason.”

sunny is at its best when the characters are collaboratively being awful & it all comes together in the end to make them go “ruh roh” & risk e rats does that SO well. Frank & Dee’s subplot can admittedly get in your face meta in a way stronger meta episodes (like the gang misses the boat or the gang tries desperately to win an award ) are more successful at by not being SO blatant & insufferably self referential about it. however, it’s still effectively funny & works as social commentary despite being a bit on the nose. the same can be said of dennis & charlie’s sub plot & the obvious & unoriginal but timely & often funny & zingy commentary on censorship.

I will say even where these commentaries get in your face I’m more than willing to move past it & have fun because the characters are actually sticking to who they are for fucking once (I don’t know you seasons 12-15. die. jk ily but also…fuck off. u understand). Risk E Rats may not be perfect - season 16 may not be perfect - but i really feel we regained a sense of the gang & who they are & it almost felt like the show I love again when there was that hard cut to chaos at the end.

new sunny has made some truly hard to come back from retcons. they’ve often completely ignored or forgotten their source material. but I think that while season 16 is deeply flawed it DOES present the possibility of the slow at least improving even if returning to its glory is near impossible.

[vvatchword]

Gaijin

my friend in japan was like, "Go work in Okinawa!!" She's always trying to get me to work in Japan. I'd love to be near her, she's as good as a sister to me... it's just that I'm not sure how good that is long-term. Being a gaijin ex-pat in Japan is a young person's game. There's not a future there for someone like me, not really.

I'm riiiight on the border of being able to use Japanese conversationally, but on the whole, I need to put in a lot of work. Plus, I don't think I can stand being on the outside anymore. Imagine having to emergency-learn a language and deal with culture shock while needing to find human connection in a whole new country. I love Japan, I want to go back, I think their society has many wonderful qualities, and I might find a place there, but I'd still always be on the outside looking in. When the chips are down, I'd always be a gaijin.

Not to mention there's a certain quality to Japanese culture that's a little maddening--that is, there are certain social expectations, and everyone tries to adhere to that as well as possible. Everything tends to be done en masse or for the benefit of the group. If you fuck up, you are corrected passive-aggressively (read: very, very vaguely). Obviously, allowances are made for gaijin, but you do better if you can try and flow with the group.

And that... that is my greatest weakness........ not knowing what other people want... not reading the room... not understanding people who attempt making requests in vague suggestions... needing explicit instructions... jesus fucking cristo

That's one of the worst parts of this entire escapade--being the one person who's uncomfortably weird and not being able to fix that. I clicked with some people in my last job--other autistic motherfuckers--but I know I made my boss uncomfortable. She did her best, I don't rue her anything, but we just didn't click, and it was not her fault. On the whole I was more trouble than I was worth. And that makes me feel sick. It makes me feel sick that people are relieved I'm gone. It makes me feel sick that I'm not normal and can never be. What makes this insufferable is that it's not something I can change. It's not something I can fix. It's just the way I am.

I can count the jobs where my weirdness didn't backstab me on one hand. And I just don't think I can take that anymore. It's like my heart's been broken, but it's been broken by society. I want people to like me because, hey, I'll be frank--I like other people! I like all kinds of people! Unfortunately, other people don't like me.

I wish I didn't have to be gainfully employed anymore. Not because I'm not interested in it, but because wherever I go, I can't stop rubbing people the wrong way. And even if I don't rub people the wrong way, they are just so FUCKING SHITTY. They smell my differences like a shark smells blood. They can't just let me be. They play social games with me, they pick me as the scapegoat, they can't accept that I mean well, and my best efforts are never enough. If they're neurotypicals or old, aka the most common demographics on planet Earth, they will find ways to punish and mock me.

I wish I could apply for disability but there's no way in hell that would work, and plus, I couldn't live on that. Jesus. Working is hell because of other people. Working is hell because I get bored after I've figured out the basics and my brain ramps off to space. Working is hell because I am a fucking weirdo and other people hold a mirror up to show how they see me because they want me to stop freaking them out. I'll be frank, I don't like what I see. So I try to change, make myself palatable. All I do is make myself unbearably tired, because the minute I look up to check my reflection, I see it's just another flavor of bizarre. For every one thing I get right, I get five things wrong. Even at my best, there's always something subtly off, and the more someone examines me, the more I stand out.

I swear to you. This is not me being dramatic. Everyone is treating these statements as me being upset about being fired, but this is a long-term wound that keeps tearing open over and over and over.

You know what makes this really sad? I really love my own weirdness. When I'm in my own world, I can be deliriously happy. I can entertain myself for hours. It's when I have to deal with other people that life becomes untenable. They can't see what I am inside and why should I expect them to? We are known by what we produce in the living world. I unnerve others because I get too excited or I use the wrong words or I dress incorrectly or I stare without blinking for too long or I modulate my voice incorrectly. I am fighting tooth and nail to make everyone around me comfortable and no one can see or appreciate the effort. They only notice that I'm unpleasant.

When the chips are down, I'm always the odd one out. And there's a point where I wonder what the point is of even trying. There's an answer, of course--the consequences for NOT trying are a kind of horrible that include complete ostracization and social combat on the level of World War III.

Why'd I have to be this kind of person? Why can't I be a better actress? How much better my life would be if I could be conventional in any way.

If you've read my fiction, what you've seen is me studying other people, fighting like mad to figure out how to be like them and failing so dramatically that I get launched out of society every two or three years. I always have to come crawling back. There's no other choice. There's no choice at all.

[koheletgirl]

omg what a gift you've given me

ok i dont have ones for debut since i dont really listen to it ever. picture to burn (homophobic version) is a top tier song though.

okok so:

best songs on fearless are ybwm and forever & always (but im also partial to love story and fearless and the way i loved you). as for the worst song, i dont really have one but jump then fall is annoying. also i dont love the vault tracks sorry.

best songs on speak now are sparks fly and long live (but most songs on speak now are great). the worst song imo is innocent. musically it's alright but the lyrics are so condescending and silly, plus it aged realllyyyy poorly lmao. sntv doesn't exist to me

best song on red is all too well obviously (both versions). state of grace and treacherous are also 😘👌. the worst song on the original version is probably girl at home (i have some opinions on ikywt but there's too much going on there). as for red tv - atwtmvtvftv (as previously mentioned) and nothing new are the best songs and probably my favorite taylor songs ever. message in a bottle is insufferable.

best songs on 1989 are blank space and i know places. the worst songs are shake it off and bad blood. 1989 tv sucks but the vault tracks are awesome, except for SLUT! which is such a huge disappointment considering its title and also annoying in general

nothing in rep is good. that said, the best song is call it what you want. i go back and forth on the worst song, but its between dancing with our hands tied and so it goes. i cannot stress enough how bad this album is though like every song on rep is worse than the worst song on the other albums

the best song in lover is cruel summer of course. i also reallyreally love death by a thousand cuts and lover. the worst songs are ME!, false god and it's nice to have a friend. oh and that one vault track she released a while back it was awful

folklore my love folklore..... god this is hard. no i cant do it i love all of them so much. epiphany is only ok

best songs on evermore are willow, tolerate it, and ivy. i don't like cowboy like me im sorry. also closure manages to poke something in my brain in the worst way possible, listening to it is like having someone repeatedly tap your shoulder to me. it's not objectively bad though im just allergic to it

midnights sucks. the best songs on it are anti-hero, would've could've should've, and hits different. the worst song on it is glitch, which is also possibly the worst song in her whole career. karma and labyrinth also fucking suck.

right does anybody wanna come talk to me