petalsandantlers

[petalsandantlers]

Top five most kinky Harry Potter characters vs top ten least kinky Harry Potter characters, go.

Personally I think Voldemort is probably into roleplay.

thank you very much for the ask, anon. what an important question.

the top five ten kinky legends in the series are obviously:

1. harry potter, who hears mcgonagall say the word "wood" and immediately thinks he's going to be caned. 2. peeves. he's the ultimate switch: filch's dom - in public, no less! - but the bloody baron's sub. 3. parvati patil, since she canonically fancies a horse and isn't shy about letting people know it. 4. percy weasley. he spends most of chamber of secrets fucking in public places and clearly gets off on the thrill of being caught, and then in prisoner of azkaban it's revealed that he and penelope also have a findom dynamic to their relationship. 5. rodolphus lestrange. let's be real, he invented the cuck chair. 6. nagini, who makes dozens of people watch - for fucking hours, presumably, given how long it takes snakes to finish a meal - as she eats charity burbage. 7. barty crouch jr. - he involves the entire government in his daddy kink, leaves several people dead while doing it, and doesn't even get to enjoy the newly-resurrected voldemort whacking on a double-breasted suit and saying he's proud of him. 8. dobby, who would make such a good sadist dom if he did the basic fucking work of understanding that you have to ask other people's permission before you try to break their bones with cursed bludgers. 9. petunia. idk i just get a vibe from her. 10. horace slughorn, who canonically ejaculates in a room full of people.

and the ten vanilla heroes? well, they're obviously:

1. hermione granger. she canonically doesn't enjoy anything too out of the ordinary - she likes candles and things being as expected and receiving lots of eye contact from her hot husband, and i love that for her. 2. nearly headless nick, who's clearly excluded from the headless hunt because they know he wouldn't enjoy the fact that they're swingers. 3. albus dumbledore. not because i think his tastes don't align with the kinkier side of life, but because he's unwilling to live a little and try out a bit of exploratory fun. although this is understandable, given what aberforth's into... 4. crookshanks, who famously disapproves of any form of rowdiness and who hates canonical voyeur peter pettigrew. 5. dolores umbridge, due to her canonical revulsion for monster-fucking. 6. borgin, who wants no part in either lucius or draco malfoy's attempts to dominate him. 7. james and lily potter. they absolutely fuck - obviously - but i think the reason they fuck so well is because they stick to the fucking they're good at. 8. cornelius fudge, because if he was into kink then he'd enjoy scrimgeour negging him in front of the prime minister more than he canonically does. 9. sirius black, which i accept is a controversial one, but his repeated failure to take the hint in order of the phoenix that both snape and kreacher want him to tie them up and call them a little bitch means it's the only viable conclusion... 10. draco malfoy, as a natural reaction to being made to observe his father's flagrant humiliation kink while the dark lord lives in their house.

and when it comes to lord voldemort himself? well, the thing we have to remember is that deviance thrives on the subversion of expectations.

which is to say, the idea that voldemort would be into things like blood-play and leather gimp masks and humiliating his partners? stale. flavourless. tired. uninspiring.

the idea that he's got a praise kink, wants to be showered with presents and gently caressed, and gets off on being told how worthy of love he is? objectively correct.

[petalsandantlers]

there’s wip (active development) and wip (stuck in development hell) and wip (oh you’re not even getting funding for this one)

[petalsandantlers]

kinda hate when people ask "swifties, explain the taylor swift hype, why do you like her so much" because how am I meant to explain that when I was 12 years I listened to mine once and that song gripped me so tightly I ended up imprinting on her like a little baby ducking and 15 years later here I am

[petalsandantlers]

YOU’RE STILL A WRITER IF:

you don’t write every day or every week

you haven’t been able to write in a few months

this is your first story or your hundredth 

you never finish a book 

you are completely unpublished

All you gotta do is write!

[petalsandantlers]

i was procrastinating at uni so here’s everyone’s fave estranged rich kid delinquent sirius black

[petalsandantlers]

What's your favorite drawing of James Potter?

HAVE YOU MET MY LORD AND SAVIOR JAMES POTTER SHIRTLESS: SERIES

Ask me anything or send me a fic to review

[petalsandantlers]

Remus Lupin, acrylic.

I love him so much 🥲 this is a painting from a few years ago but I think it still holds up.

[petalsandantlers]

snow really convinced himself lucy gray didn't love him (after she wrote a whole song about him and tried to run away with him) and then forty years later told sixteen year old haymitch abernathy that dying in the arena would be dodging a bullet compared to loving a covey girl. top 10 situationships gone horribly wrong

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“sotr is mid because you already know how it ends” shut the fuck up, the point of the book is that despite knowing how it ends you would have never known what actually went down because that’s the point of propaganda, the whole book is about the power of propaganda

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reading my own fics as a reference for a new wip and squinting at it like "how the hell did I do that"

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the angry words of women who speak their minds will always be seen as more violent, more controversial, more offensive, more reprehensible than the actual violent acts of murder rape and abuse committed by men. always. it is the nature of our misogynistic society

[petalsandantlers]

I SAW THIS ON A REEL AND I HAD TO ASK

Kingsley X Emmeline

oh hell yes. emmeline's sad and heartbroken about life in general and the war is eating her up but only because it's destroying her personal relationships and she feels sick because she's so privileged the war barely effects her despite her being a muggle born and she fights but it's half hearted because she doesn't even really want to she just wants to leave and go home x kngsley who validated her and is patient with her and let's her cry and takes her out and gets her desserts and when she says she wants somethingkingsley doesn't know where to look for he makes it himself and em cries because he's so sweet and he's so cool and he's so smart and she feels so unworthy of him. im. obsessed.

[petalsandantlers]

the jily tag is so filled with anti jily and jegulus posts at the moment so here's some jily headcanons:

lily loving transfiguration but hating that james is so much better so when they start becoming friends, she makes him tutor her in transfiguration

james giving her his quidditch shirt to wear but lily already has marlene's. so she just wears them both instead, for luck.

statistic nerds. they make graphs together and everything (mostly about various sports)

as head boy and head girl, they tend to use the good cop/bad cop approach but take it in turns cause they both wanna be bad cop

lily isn't very popular but is well liked (too stubborn and friends with very unpopular and 'weird' students to be popular), james is popular but isn't well liked (mostly due to immaturity in first few years of school as well as not seeming to care about anyone other than the other marauders + lily)

hospital wing bonding. lily wanting to study medicine so she helps out pomfrey and james being in the wing a lot for remus or quidditch injuries or just to get a lollipop from pomfrey.

marlene and james being next door neighbours and whilst lily is staying at marlene's, she talks to james over the garden fence and gets invited to dinner by james' parents

lily not being super close to her own parents so after meeting james, euphemia and fleamont start writing letters to her and sending her snacks (whilst she's not yet friendly with james), and james' isn't aware of this till he sees lily in the common room with her own basket of his mum's muffins

ursula k le guin fanboy!james. lily sees him reading one of her books and instantly starts crushing on him. then she sees him dogear the book and immediately gives him her bookmark to stop that from ever happening again

whilst they're friends, they start going on morning walks around the grounds together and name the goats, in the neighbouring field, and giving them personalities and soap opera type stories

[petalsandantlers]

Read on AO3.

[petalsandantlers]

i loooove sarcastic remus with dry humour that says the weirdest things with the straightest face and is mostly deadpan and quiet and funny and witty and ohhhhh

[petalsandantlers]

actually i love the reveal that the only reason effie got involved with the hunger games at all was because her little sister needed her.

[petalsandantlers]

On a break

@ginnystrophyhusband prompt: blanket

“What’s up?” Harry asked, opening the door for Ron but holding onto it in such a way that his friend wouldn’t be inclined to walk in unprompted.

“I was wondering if you were going to watch the Harpies game with us tonight?”

He nodded quickly. “Sure.”

“I know you two are on a break, but…” His eyes widened and his gaze slipped to a spot over Harry’s shoulder.

Ginny crossed from the living room into the bathroom, nothing but a blanket wrapped around her body. Harry knew this because he was on said blanket with her moments before.

“What sort of break is this, exactly?”

Harry hesitated for a moment. “A very short one, it turned out,” he said. “It was a small misunderstanding.”

Ron grimaced. “I’m glad for you? I’m going to leave?”

“Sure,” Harry went. “I’ll see you tonight.”

With a shake of his head, Ron stepped back, waved and then walked off.

“Harry…” Ginny’s teasing voice reached him as soon as he had closed the door. “You weren’t quite done here…”