#shes got like every disorder

[cordyceph]

mm lestat post time

ever think about how ALL of lestat's relationships remind him no one truly loves him as a person? that he's good for his body only?

his father beats him. no love there, nor with his brothers. his mother never saved him from his father or brothers, and at the Literal First Possibility ditched her title and slept with him. nicki loved him until he was disabled (for all vampires are horrors, they are also textbook disabled. cant function properly in the human world, can only masquerade as human- they are inhuman, survive off parasiting others. for this moment, nicki is only thinking of how he lost his lover to the darkness that took them both- he hates lestat at the end. hates what lestat turned in to, against lestat's will. hates that lestat wont give up)

armand doesnt really love him, either, not then in paris before lestat flees to america. armand likes powerful, demanding blondes (thx marius). armand wants the pale mockery of his maker to adore and cherish- no, to BE cherished by (mixing book and show, when louis is his maitre. when lestat ruins the children of darkness, he tries to give the coven to lestat, to Be Lestat's, ignoring that that's not what lestat wants)

even with louis and claudia, their love was conditional. in the book, claudia choses to kill him because she wants to leave and he wont go with her, but louis will. in the show, its different, because show lestat abuses her. and still, before the townhouse (which we know we/daniel were given false versions of), claudia and louis did not love lestat. louis did not let him into their family, claudia did not want him Ever.

every relationship lestat has ever had has been burdened by the fact that no one has ever truly loved or forgiven lestat for anything. not for little mistakes or grandiose bad decisions. no one has sat with him and treated him with gentle hands or words. claudia, louis, nicki, gabrielle, they all had HIM when theu turned. relied on him, and his teachings. he had nothing. claudia relied on them as both a fledgling and a daughter, but he didnt ever have a parent to rely on

armand is the closest to truly understanding what lestat went through, given the brothel and marius and his two or so hundred years of living in mud. but even then, he doesnt have the empathy for lestat; only chasing after the images of his abusers in his relationships. he would have turned lestat into lestat's father, into magnus, before he would have understood that lestat did not want to be evil.

love lestat. girl with every personality disorder. how do u manage it girly youre so close to being suicidal yet you never really breach the line into depression cause youre too busy being manic

[seaweedstarshine]

RIP Krakoa 🌹 I can’t lie I’ve been kinda behind since midway through Fall of X I’m gonna catch up before my first SDCC this summer but I hear Vulcan didn’t see much action anyway. Anyway my hand slipped and I found myself looking into the eyes of my canonically psychotic son the best Summers brother who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life, (he’s done lotsa wrong things but I love him more for it)

[notjanine]

me a week ago: i love my job!!

me now, after having a mid-year review that amounted to you’re doing an excellent job and you bring such a valuable perspective to our practice but i don’t have the ability to give you a raise right now but don’t worry bc i just hired a new CFO to try to figure out money so we can maybe give you a raise later this year: *breaks into a cold sweat as i crack open indeed dot com*

[cowboy-robooty]

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT. I AM NOT TRANS I AM A CIS MALE LORD PLEASE WHY DOES EVERYONE I MEET THINK IM TRANS

[blueheartedwolf]

I wish I could find a doctor that wants to find out what’s actually wrong with me instead of recommending prescriptions to address the symptoms. I’m so tired of being recommended ibuprofen for debilitating pain. Tired of relaying my medical history to a new doctor and getting the same furrowed brow and shrugging shoulders I get every time. Tired of having so-called medical professionals ask why I need a cane if I’m able to walk down their clinic hallway without it. When will someone fucking help me?

[bearstuck]

theres a hypothetical instance of asylumstuck being written well and not incredibly offensive and yet every single time i see some old asylumstuck posts i am blown away by how they manage to get literally every depiction of mental illness incorrect. its like they googled the symptoms and then deliberately wrote against the reality of those illnesses. its like they googled awful stereotypes about mentally ill (mostly psychotic or suicidal people) and made it their personal project to include as many as they could

[aropride]

how are we doing today!

[actual-changeling]

.

[newfeeling77]

i was thinking the other day about my middle school experience and i remember getting an award for having the highest scores in science in my grade and im not that great with anything that isnt reading/writing or art so it was odd. but i think its all because from what i remember i really liked the teacher n she never had the lights on in that classroom she only used the natural light from the window so it was always a little dark in there and i never got overstimulated by the horrible overhead lighting. so i think i was just really focused for once. my therapist also keeps her office extremely dark and i function so well

[lonesomedotmp3]

every once in a while I rerealise that my teenage self wasn't crazy/selfish/ungrateful and my parents really were just Like That

[set-wingedwarrior]

I have this feeling that I am going to hide in my university much more and much longer just to avoid my roomate because she's really stressing me out

[theriverdalereviewer]

just finished reading this book called the list by siobhan vivian and you know what I recommend even though I found the ending to be lackluster

[weirdlizard26]

i guess the thing abt the diagnosis for me is that. nothing has ever been severe for me. its just kinda. annoying and vaguely concerning. people with the real disorder are out there suffering and im just. mildly bothered. but im still diagnosed nonetheless? sounds fake

[regularbeans]

next year i want

to learn 10 languages (i did start 10 duolingo courses yesterday so like)

read 12 books (i havent read a book since high school)

watch 52 movies (eh)

get a tattoo! (but only if the TLOU show is good)

get rollerskates uwu

get back into biking

get back into drawing?

write sumn idk

not get a mental breakdown every three months especially before funkytown in february

i will go to austria, england, wales, and denmark in february (and march) in one big trip and i would. love to not. be a problem. :)

get a lavalamp

[leviathanswingman]

me: i am having trouble breathing again

my mum: that’s because you’re too skinny. you’re not eating enough and have no energy. you almost fainted.

me: i literally almost passed out bc i was getting no air. i think it’s the asthma.

my mum: we are both entitled to our own opinions then i guess :)

[groupwest]

urghh. reading people’s POTS diagnosis stories all morning