#i dont do diaries or journaling i just do vague vents in tumblr tags but it is what it is
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#alex yells at the void#bpd is such a fun disorder and by fun i mean one of the most painful mental disorders to live with#sometimes i feel bad for projecting so much one ellie cause she will be going through it tm#but then again my therapist said projection is good and helpful so there's that#love being caught in the dilemma of tell ppl you're struggling and risk annoying them#and dont tell them and risk the same#like bestie my options arent really great here isnt there a secret third way#you wont get too much they say and then leave because i got too much like ok how do you expect me to actually believe anyone telling me tha#my therapist said it's fine and understandable that im scared etc. etc.#as long as i try to take good experiences as they come#but bestie i am very tired of getting like one good experience every two years and nothing but horrible shit for the rest#also very tired of passive aggressive bullshit and indirectness like if there's something bothering you just fucking tell me#dont be like my ex or my parents or anyone else ever#the world isnt all like that they say as if it hasnt been that way my entire life because the universe hates me and i dont deserve happines#i dont do diaries or journaling i just do vague vents in tumblr tags but it is what it is
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