#I also developed an eating disorder in all of this mess bc when my symptoms first started at like 21yo | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

blueheartedwolf · 6 months ago

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I wish I could find a doctor that wants to find out what’s actually wrong with me instead of recommending prescriptions to address the symptoms. I’m so tired of being recommended ibuprofen for debilitating pain. Tired of relaying my medical history to a new doctor and getting the same furrowed brow and shrugging shoulders I get every time. Tired of having so-called medical professionals ask why I need a cane if I’m able to walk down their clinic hallway without it. When will someone fucking help me?

#Leif barks #this is gonna get vent-y and shit in the tags just general mental and physical health issue TW #I’ve really given up on going to doctors atp #I used to have at least one sometimes two dr appts every week and I haven’t seen anyone in 6 months #saw a specialist in January for an MRI follow up and he basically went “wow your spine is fucked up! want some pregablin?“#I am 25yo with degenerative disc disease in 4 discs and facet joint arthritis and you as a specialist are not concerned?#because I sure fucking am!#why is my spinal column breaking down inside my body #I also developed an eating disorder in all of this mess bc when my symptoms first started at like 21yo #the only thing I heard from dr’s was “lose weight” so guess what I did #150lbs in a year and a half #and now when I go to a dr I get congratulated for losing it and then get told to take ibuprofen again #also wow getting told you did a good job at starving yourself is a crazy mind fuck #like you can look at my chart and see the weight loss in real time and that’s apparently wasn’t concerning either #I’ve stopped losing weight but now I’m terrified of gaining and I’m in this maintenance limbo that is literal torture on my brain and body #I’m just over here suffering #I tentatively started therapy again bc the depression-anxiety-cptsd-autism-eating disorder combo is killing me #and I’m not kidding I got three sessions in and she told me I’m too much for her to handle #so I guess I will be letting it kill me bc I don’t know what the fuck to do

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