#sherlock incorrect quotes

[thegreatmousebafoon]

John: You need to eat.

Sherlock: No.

John: The last person who didn’t fix their eating habits after I told them to, died.

Sherlock: Really?

John: Yeah. He got shot.

Sherlock: … That feels unrelated.

John: I’m the one that Shot him. Do not test me.

[malpractisnt]

Sherlock x text posts >:

[rabiessnail]

please somebody write a story where greg and mycroft are married but whilst on an arrest greg gets injured & put in a medical coma to keep him safe

when he wakes up mycroft is beside him--the doctors said gregs memory would be temporarly gone whilst he recovered but now greg wont stop hitting on mycroft and its getting to the stage were its increasingly difficult to keep a straight face when talking about medication

"owch hey mister cute umbrella can u move the pillow abit:)??"

*mycroft fixes pillow inches away from gregs face*

greg: *whistles* "i'd kiss u so hard right now if i didn't have six broken ribs, a punctured lung + a fractured hip."

myc : gregory your parents are in the room

--

mycroft: ah- the doctors have given me some more pills, these ones are a bit large so hopefully you wont have much trouble swallowing them"

greg: *takes a look* nah its fine im good a swallowing....uhhh big things *wiggles eyebrows half asleep* geddit

mycroft: gregory MY parents are in the room

[221bstrange]

John, taking a personality quiz: What's a word that would describe m- Sherlock: Short. John: That's not one of- Sherlock: Fine, tiny. John: No that's not how it wo- Sherlock: Small? Portable? Petite? Miniscule?

[baker-street-boys]

Lestrade: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism.

Sherlock: And you came to me?

[laverne-grace]

*Y/N brushes Sherlock's hair off his face*

Y/N : Do you feel the same way that I do?

Sherlock : Feeling annoyed whenever you breath? Wanting to shoot you every chance I get so I don't have to see your face everyday? Yeah Y/N, I do!

Y/N : Ouch!

John : That was harsh.

[javastark]

Lestrade: Detective, this is a crime scene Sherlock, stealing a pack of cigs: What is this the murder weapon? Get off my dick.

[anneangel]

Sherlock and Watson demonstrating affection, is like:

Watson: I've never met anyone like you before, you're brilliant, you're amazing, Holmes. I want to be part of what you do!

Sherlock: I need you by my side, you are elementary for my job because everything gets boring quickly without you, Watson.

[artofdeductionbysholmes]

See? You are always evading my questions.

Sherlock, pointing: May I sit there? John: That's my lap Sherlock: That doesn't answer my question, John.

[thegreatmousebafoon]

Sherlock: (drinks a full bottle of water)

John: … Did you just…? Did you actually… you- YOU JUST DRANK WATER?!

Sherlock: … Yes? This surprises you-?

John: OH MY GOD! YES! LETS GO- THIS IS A WIN! A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION! MRS. HUDSON!!!

Mrs. H: ( from downstairs ) YES, DEAR?

John: SHERLOCK JUST DRANK WATER!!!

Mrs. H: WHAT?! NOT TEA OR-

Sherlock: NO- I- WATER! I DRANK WATER! What is wrong with you lot-

John: Oh my God- I have to tell Greg-

Sherlock: Greg? Who-

John: ( on the phone ) SHHH. Greg. Get over here.

Greg: Is something wrong? Are you and Sherlock ok-

John: I just watched Sherlock finish a bottle of water.

Greg: … You’re pranking me. He’s snickering in the background isn’t he-?

John: Nope. Rally the troops. Have Molly pick up a cake- he loves those-

Sherlock: I’m still here you know-

John: SSHHH Sherlock. The adults are planning a party.

Sherlock: … Because I drank water?

John: Yes.

Sherlock: ….

John: ….

Sherlock: … Are you trying to psychologically condition me, Doctor Watson?

John: …. Is it working?

Sherlock: … What flavor cake?

John: Chocolate.

Sherlock: Then yes. Throw in some coffee flavored ice cream and I’ll eat a full meal instead of just nibbling at one.

John: DEAL! DEAL- 100% YOU’VE GOT A DEAL!

[malpractisnt]

More sherlock x textposts i made instead of studying for finals

[rabiessnail]

playing twister Sherlock: Right hand red. Mycroft: ends up on top of Lestrade Lestrade: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? Sherlock: I stopped spinning like 15 minutes ago. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't notice.

[baker-street-boys]

Sherlock: We already tried things your way.

Lestrade: No, we didn't.

Sherlock: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

[laverne-grace]

*At a murder scene*

Y/N : Should we just kill him?

*John looks down at the struggling person and looks at Y/N*

Y/N : Well then, I'll take that as a yes.

*Y/N shoots the guy and looks at Sherlock*

John : He could have been saved. He just had a Pneumothorax, Y/N!

Sherlock : Oops!

[tiddlebink]

Am I doing this right

[cardinalcheerio]

I have a headcannon that at some point in his early robin days, Jason decided he wanted to be like Alfred and committed to drinking tea, using British slang and the accent while being robin.

This obviously confused the rogues a lot.

Fighting Mr. Freeze:

Jason: aye, what in the bloody hell do you think your doin? (Horrible British and gotham accent mix)

Freeze: I am- wait. Robin? Are you ok?

Bats: it's a phase. Just ignore it.

Freeze: keep forgetting he's a kid... anyways-