#incorrect correct quotes

[loganslowdown4]

I’m gonna start a collection of incorrect quotes from the boss himself (Here’s Part 1)—

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

[andaniellight]

Sanji, visibly distrusting: Listen. Even though our stupid captain trusts you, we have ONE major rule here that you must obey at all costs. Usopp: At all costs! Your life is on the line here! Nami and Franky: [nodding solemnly] Law: Law: Alright, let's hear it. Sanji, points at Law with his kitchen knife: You are NOT, at ANY circumstance, allowed to kiss Luffy. Law, confused: Okay? Is that all? Sanji, deadpanning: That should be all. We'll be watching you. Usopp: Yeah, don't even think about it! Law: That's easier than I tho- Robin, smiling, somewhat pitying: Good luck, Law. Law: Law: Law: What's that supposed to mean- ... Law, during and after Dressrosa: Jesus fucking Christ, okay I get it now-

[ineffablesheets]

House MD x posts (silly)

[acourtofquestions]

[batchedzine]

Echo: I have a headache.

Kix: From 1 to 10, how intense would you describe your pain?

Echo: Fives. It's Fives.

-----

Interested in more Clone shenanigans?

We may just be your kind of cookie! Fill our interest check for the fanzine Batched: a clones Zine [Here]

[itsprettyunfortunate]

*Edward walks into the living room*

Edward: Hey, Rose.

Rosalie:

Edward: I said, "Hey, Rose."

Rosalie: Mom said if I don't have anything nice to say, then I just shouldn't say anything at all.

Rosalie: Well, mom isn't here. And you're a little bitch.

Edward:

[cheeseandstrawberrytartlover]

Nocturnal: "....Where did she even come from?"

Sheogorath, holding Sereyna: "I spawned her from my goop and a mortal. :)"

Nocturnal: "Ah, all right."

Sheogorath screaming inside and thinking: "No one can ever know they're the last septim and the child of the chief deity. They will rip her to pieces."

[acourtofquestions]

If the Ashryver crest had a sarcastic slogan it would be this

Aedion: You're just showing off.

Aelin: Of course. I am a show-off. That's what we do.

[firebolt-bombardment]

Susan: Fulgur lives in Death's basement?

Fulgur: No, Death lives in Fulgur's attic!

[loganslowdown4]

Part 3 Of Incorrect Quotes By Thomas Himself—

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

[andaniellight]

can’t bring soap anywhere tbh

[Later, back in base]

Soap: we’re baaack 😅 here’s our food! 😄✨ let’s eat, let’s eat ! ! !

Price:

Gaz:

Ghost:

Price & Gaz, turning to Ghost: why is the back of his head bleeding- did you guys get ambushed-

Ghost: he fucked around and found out, don’t worry about it

[acourtofquestions]

This just made me realize Nesta Archeron = Paris Geller from Gilmore girls😂

Rhys: babe I think I’m sick can you take care of me?

Feyre: of course, my star, my light, let me get you some medicine, soup, a cold press…

Cassian: hey nesta I don’t feel good too can you care for me?

Nesta: aweeeee

Nesta: no

[acourtofquestions]

—Rowaelin at the end of an argument—

Rowan: I LOVE YOU!

Aelin: I LOVE YOU TOO!

Rowan: THEN WHY ARE WE YELLING?!

Aelin: I DON’T KNOW!

[batchedzine]

Hunter: I'm going to cut the ships' board cables so we can-

Tech: Ah! So we are going cavemen style.*gets up from the pilot's seat dramatically* I'll go fetch my loincloth.*gestures wildly* Omega! Paint a bantha on the walls!

Omega: *beams* REALLY?!

-----

Interested in more Clone shenanigans? We may just be your kind of cookie!

Fill our interest check for Batched: a clones Zine [Here]

[acourtofquestions]

Aelin Galathynius: *falling through the sky* I HAVE FOUND THE OTHER ROUTE

Azriel: We'll find another route, it's not safe for amateurs.

Feyre: That sounds like a challenge.

Azriel: I have to stress, that is not a challenge.

Feyre: ... Is exactly what you say to dissuade the weak of heart from accepting the challenge. Well! Challenge accepted!

Azriel: There. Is. No. Challenge.

[glitter-stained]

More of trans allegory Jason and the goons VS the batfam:

Transmasc older goon, trying to connect: Hey out of curiosity boss, when did your egg crack?

Jason, thinking this is a bird pun about how he became Robin: Uh, 12 I guess...

****

Penguin henchman: Wow, you really are okay calling yourselves goons? Isn't that like a little demeaning?

Red Hood Goon: Inclusivity my guy -Henchperson is a mouthful, and that way, we don't have to assume.

Penguin Henchman: Oh my god that's so thoughtful!

*they resume shooting at eachother.*

*****

Batman You're not okay Hood, you need a professional. Please, we can help you!

Jason: There's nothing wrong with me, I won't let you throw me into Arkham!

Goon of the week: Yeah Batfreak, the boss doesn't need help, there's nothing wrong with him! How would you like it if we tried to convert you out of being a furry, huh?!!

Batman: reconsiders life choices.

****

Angry goon: *beats the shit out of Nightwing with a trans pride flag*

Dick, a bisexual cis metrosexual: I'm not sure what is happening but this feels offensive.

****

Batman: Please, I know there's a lot of bad blood, but you're still my child...

Jason: Really? Because I clearly remember you saying you weren't my father and didn't have to deal with my "teenage angst"!

The Goons: You said what?!

Oracle : You said what?!

Dick, standing up and picking up the pride flag: You said what.