#she's the only reason I watched the later seasons btw

[spiltsoup]

Courtney Thorne-Smith being a trainwreck on Two and a Half Men

[bucketbueckers]

I'D RATHER PRETEND

CHAPTER SEVEN

tags: @angryflowerwitch @avvwritesstufff @melpthatsme @rebecca-woso @bueckersg1rl @l0verl4ne @clouded-whispers @dolliest-thena @katemartinlvr @numberonepartyanth3m @glamourdaya @pbbucks @unadulteratedcyclepaper @paiges-1vur @thelightknight21 wc: 5.5k notes: she master on my list til i chapter seven (im sorry i dont know what this is anymore) ummm im apologizing in advance for this chapter, it's pretty crucial but the first half is kinda buns and also i wish tess kennedy was real because she'd would stream the fuck out of crybaby by sza like thats her song. last chapter of angst but next chapter is tournaments and march madness and shit and we all know what happened so idk if its angst ? i just work here man. merry christmas eve btw, expect something later tonight to make up for this chapter 🎅 as always i hope we enjoy 🫶

‘Home for the Holidays’

November and December are hailed as the happiest times of the year. In November, families from all over reunite for Thanksgiving and toast to good times. December is home to Christmas and New Year’s Eve, where families bond over gift-giving and their shared hope for a successful year ahead. These two months are the most festive times of the year, but basketball fans are celebrating the holidays with new reasons to be thankful and joyous – Tess Kennedy and Paige Bueckers.

If you have been following us for a while, you may remember their long-awaited hard launch in June of 2023. They had a quiet few months between July and November, although those were incredibly busy times for the student athletes. Between summer practices, traveling, the start of the fall semester, and the start of the new basketball season, social media candids were far and between, although Bueckers and Kennedy certainly spoiled us during Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s.

Per their social medias, Kennedy spent Thanksgiving with the extended Bueckers family in Minnesota. She was only there for a few days, but the content was limitless – Bueckers’s sister, Lauren Fuller, shared a photo of Bueckers and Kennedy cuddled up in an armchair on Thanksgiving Day; similarly, Bueckers herself shared a family photo (which included Kennedy) where the entire family wore traditional, festive sweaters. Her caption was simple, only reading “Thankful 🙏”.

Throughout December, fans speculated if Bueckers and Kennedy would spend Christmas together. While it appears they spent Christmas Day separately with their families, Bueckers flew out to New York to spend the last three days of the year with Kennedy. They shared photos of their gifts – a sentimental bracelet charm for Kennedy and a rose thumb ring for Bueckers – then spent New Year’s Eve in New York City to watch the Times Square Ball Drop. A fan who was present in Times Square at the moment wrote to us and shared that Bueckers and Kennedy were each other’s New Year’s Kiss, although they disappeared shortly after midnight.

As the Gamecocks gear up to host the Huskies in early February, fans are eagerly awaiting the clash of the dynasties. Kennedy has not yet been cleared for play, but many supporters feel as though this matchup is a house divided. Critics question how Bueckers and Kennedy will be able to handle the pressure of competing against one another now that they are together, though a greater majority argue that they are mature enough to not let their relationship interfere with the game. Marriage politics aside, we are eagerly awaiting this thrilling match up between South Carolina and Connecticut, and cannot wait to see what February 11th has in store for us.

-Penelope Lancaster, Bleacher Report

FEBRUARY 2024

To no one’s surprise at all, Tess and Paige don’t talk about New Year’s.

Tess knows how she feels about Paige. She’s not concerned about her feelings suddenly changing for Paige overnight, not after how nice New York was in general. It was the first time they’d truly spent romantic, alone time out in public without regard for the press. New York was crowded – they walked down the streets late at night and many didn’t care to bother them. They had sat in a secluded spot during dinner where they flirted all night, toeing the line between pretend and for real. When they watched the ball drop, they were in a pretty secluded place, too, and most of the crowd was full of a bunch of inebriated party-goers. Tess had an amazing time in New York, and if anything, her feelings for Paige only got worse and harder to hide.

The issue is Paige doesn’t mention anything. At all. It’s like it didn’t even happen. If Tess didn’t spend almost every minute of every day thinking about it, thinking about how Paige kissed her fucking scar and said she was beautiful, then she’d worry that she just imagined it all. It’s agonizing because she knows where she stands but she just can’t figure out how to ask Paige about it. She can’t just call her up and say something like, hey, remember how you fucked me within an inch of my life on New Year’s? Did that mean anything to you? That was not happening. So, here they are – back at square one.

Things are fine the first week of January. They text where they can. Coach Staley is slowly working Tess back into practice. Her past few months of PT have been full of insurmountable growth and Tess feels better than she has in ages. She’s so close to getting back on the court, and when she’s not stressing about her situation with Paige (which she stresses about pretty often), all she can think about is how quickly March is approaching and how soon she’ll be back playing. A new basketball redshirting rule had been finalized – an athlete would be able to play up to five games after suffering an early injury (whether it be offseason, preseason, or early in the regular season) that forces them to miss most of the season and still hold on to an extra year of eligibility if they healed completely before the end of the season. It seemed situational on paper, but Tess passed the board consideration with ease after she demonstrated that she was in good health and her doctor confirmed that she’d be fully healed and safe to play by March.

So with Tess getting busier, and knowing that Paige is incredibly busy, too, she doesn’t think too much of it when they text once or twice a day. A good morning here, a how’s practice? there. Things aren’t bad. They’re just…okay, which is strange. It’s like they don’t know how to act around each other. Tess is sure she knows why. She shouldn’t have been so sure that her relationship with Paige would stay the same after they had sex, because why would it? They could argue they were blurring the lines when they’d nap together and kiss, but now, the line isn’t even there and everything is just so confusing. 

Tess microdoses a crash out the entirety of January. She can tell that something is wrong but nothing is wrong at the same time. Paige pretends like nothing has changed. Maybe it hasn’t. Maybe this is what happens when you let yourself fall in love with someone you’re supposed to be in a fake relationship with. This is what happens when you agree to casual and then you can’t keep it casual. She let her feelings for Paige get out of hand and now she’s facing the repercussions of that. The worst part is that the only person Tess can actually be mad at is herself. It’s not Paige’s fault that she’s funny and kind and charming and beautiful and sarcastic and gentle and intense and magnetic and literally everything Tess didn’t even know she wanted in a partner until she allowed herself to yearn for something more. Bree and Kamilla warned her – they told her she needed to focus on recovery, not Paige; they told her she couldn’t get caught up in her, and against her better judgement, she did. Now, everything is messy, and the only person at fault is Tess.

Then February comes around. South Carolina was set to host Connecticut on the 11th. Maybe she and Paige would be able to talk after the game and finally get their minds straight.

Or so Tess hoped.

FEBRUARY 11, 2024

Tess spends the entirety of warm-ups nervous as hell. Her shot is off, her handles weak. She’s thankful she’s not playing in this game because at the rate she’s bricking, she’d lose the game for South Carolina by the second quarter. Eventually, she gives up on shooting and decides to rebound for Raven and Bree. That doesn’t go well either. Standing under the basket puts Paige directly in her line of vision, and tearing her eyes off of her is a task easier said than done. The last time they saw each other in person was at the airport on New Year’s Day. Tess knows she’s standing only a court away from the same Paige who’d carried her into the bathroom when her legs didn’t work, though part of her wonders what happened in the month they were gone that would make her doubt that. Her hair is up in the same game day style that Tess knows so well by now, her face impassive, the gleam of sweat shining under the arena lights. Tess can’t look away. Part of her wants Paige to look at her, to give her something to work with, but Raven draws her out of her thoughts with an impatient ball to the ass.

“Ouch!” Tess exclaims, rubbing her cheek, although it didn’t really hurt. She watches Raven bend down to grab the ball with a smirk on her face.

“I know you ain’t playing, but some of us are, and we’d appreciate it if you stopped making bedroom eyes at your girl,” Raven sasses. She shoots the ball from the free throw line and it swishes in seamlessly. Tess catches it as it falls and passes it back her way.

“I am not making bedroom eyes,” Tess grumbles. Raven huffs out something akin to laughter, backing up to shoot the ball from the top of the key. It clangs off the rim and Tess smiles at her. “Karma,” she says as she passes it back. “That’s why we be nice to Tess Kennedy.”

“Tess Kennedy needs to be nice to us and lock the fuck in,” Raven states, shooting again. It goes in and Tess passes it back. “Y’all been together, what – eight months now, nine? This long and y’all actin’ like a middle school couple?”

Tess rolls her eyes, blushing, but she doesn’t entertain the conversation anymore. “I’m not playing. I don’t need to lock in. You need to worry about getting the ball through the net and not my love life.”

“Damn,” Raven says, kissing her teeth. “I get it now. You need to get laid.”

“Do you want a rebounder or not?”

Raven, blessedly, shuts up, but Tess casts one last glance across the court. Paige is sitting on the Huskies’ bench, her pant leg rolled up while a shorter woman kneels in front of her and prods at her knee. Tess almost thinks nothing of it until she watches a smile spread across Paige’s face, the way the woman’s hand lingers on her leg as she looks up, a beaming expression of her own on her face. Oh, Tess thinks. Okay.

Bree has been right about every single thing she’s ever said to Tess and Tess was stupid enough to sit there and think that Bree was overreacting. The humiliation burns low in her gut, but combined with anger, a deep sadness, and a thick terror, Tess feels like she’s going to be sick.

She barely pays attention to the game once it starts. She locks in for the first few possessions – South Carolina wins the tip-off, Te-Hina scores, then Paige scores, then Te-Hina with a three-pointer. South Carolina ends the first quarter in the lead, 19-11. It should make her happy, it’s her team, but the sudden tension between her and Paige makes her queasy. By halftime, South Carolina still holds a healthy lead, 44-30. Tess follows her team and her coach into the locker room, glancing once more at Paige as she regroups with her team, and she can’t help but feel like something’s wrong.

Tess doesn’t listen to anything Coach says while they’re in the locker room, lost in nervous thought. Halftime passes, then she’s back on the bench for the third quarter, her knee bouncing up and down. The quarter passes. 69-44 South Carolina. The fourth quarter starts. It ends. 83-65 South Carolina. When the final buzzer and her team celebrates, Tess can’t find it in herself to be happy about it. Bree and Raven jostle her, cheering, but her eyes are firmly locked on Paige, who stands from the bench to receive her teammates.

They line up for handshakes. When Tess and Paige reach each other, Paige doesn’t even glance at her, half-heartedly saying, “Good game,” and Tess scoffs loudly. That finally gathers Paige’s attention, whose head snaps back to look at Tess indignantly, but Tess is over it. She moves on, annoyance and fear simmering beneath her skin. If that’s the game that Paige wants to play, then Tess will play.

She gathers her belongings from the locker room in record time, telling Bree to not wait up for her as she walks through the halls briskly. Her phone has been blowing up ever since the pressers ended. Knowing that the countless text messages and missed calls are from Paige, she pays it no mind as she silences her phone so she can return to her apartment in peace. Paige had a month to suddenly remember she cared about her. She had the entirety of the afternoon – yes, they were opponents, and Tess would be content to leave it at that if she knew there wasn’t something else going on. She wasn’t born yesterday despite the fact that Paige seems to think so.

When Tess finally makes it back to her apartment, she leaves her duffle bag in her room as she makes her way into the kitchen to make some coffee. The caffeine will undoubtedly make sleep difficult, but Tess can’t find it within herself to care. She’s nearly shaking from rage because what the fuck is even going on? Things were weird – she made her peace with that, but this cold shoulder bullshit is getting old, fast, and Tess doesn’t even know where they went wrong.

The coffee trickles out of the Keurig and Tess stares at it numbly. It finishes, then she dumps sugar and creamer inside and stirs. It burns her tongue when she drinks it, but Paige has her so pissed off she barely registers it. She needs food, or a hot shower, or maybe a couple episodes of TV to get her mind off of the last few weeks of bullshit. Before she can sit down, there’s a few impatient knocks at the front door.

Tess sighs, thinking Bree had forgotten her keys, but when she opens it, she wishes she’d checked the peephole first. Paige stands outside with an obviously annoyed expression, and Tess is honestly tempted to shut the door on her. Paige beats her to the chase. “Let me in,” she says, her tone not indicative of a request. “I’m not havin’ this conversation out here.”

Tess laughs again, mostly in disbelief, but lets Paige inside and shuts the door. “Didn’t seem like you wanted to do a whole lot of talking earlier,” she points out.

Paige rolls her eyes, crossing her arms. “Is that really what you’re pissed about? I didn’t talk to you before the game?”

“Okay, this is what we’re doing?” Tess demands. “Don’t act so fucking naive. You sat there and pretended like I didn’t exist. The media is going to eat that shit up, Paige. They’re going to say that we’re fighting, or breaking up, or–”

“The media’s gonna eat it up anyway, Tess, that’s what they do!” Paige exclaims, exasperated. “They’re vultures. If I showed up and acted like I was in love with you or some shit, the media’s gonna say I’m too worried about you and not worried enough about my game. They’re going to say that I’m throwing the game to make you feel better about not playing. They’re already saying we’re not mature enough to compete against each other!”

“Are we?” Tess asks. “You act weird for a month, like I don’t even fucking matter to you, and you barge into my apartment like you suddenly care about me again?”

“I wasn’t acting weird,” Paige defends, though her entire demeanor shifts.

Tess scoffs. “You weren’t? God, Paige, I know you were busy, but you changed. Something changed, we changed, and you’re pretending like nothing happened. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I know something is wrong with us and you’re not giving me anything to work with! And then, you can’t even fucking look at me, but you can smile at that woman and you let her touch you?”

Paige blinks once before her gaze hardens. “You mean the trainer? If you have sum’ to say, then say it with your chest, Tess.”

Tess doesn’t even realize she’s crying until the tears burn her cheeks on the way down. She gestures wildly with her hands as she explains. “The only reason why your manager placed you with me was because you slept around and people started noticing.” Paige recoils, as if struck, like she immediately understands where Tess is going with this. “So what am I supposed to think? Fuck, you barely talk to me, you can’t even look at me, and another girl’s touching on you like that? When I told Bree about us, she said it looked like I was just your new flavor. She told me I’d end up being just another notch on your bedpost. She was right. I spent months defending you and looking like a fucking idiot because you told me it wasn’t true, and I believed you?” Tess hiccups, her chest constricting. “When you said you could do casual, I didn’t know that included cruel, too.”

Paige is silent for a moment before huffing. “You caught feelings, didn’t you?” she asks, suddenly looking terrified, and Tess feels her blood run cold.

“What?”

“You caught feelings,” Paige says, like it all makes sense. Her eyes are wide and panicked as they water. “You caught feelings and, what, you thought that changed things?” Paige’s voice cracks. Tess flinches. “We agreed we couldn’t let this get out of hand. You agreed. You couldn’t separate your feelings from the job we had to do and you’re pissed at me about that?”

Tess is breathing heavily by the time Paige finishes. Her nails are likely drawing blood from how hard they’re digging into her palms. She doesn’t care. She’s sure she could deny, deny, deny, but what good could it do either of them? Tess is fucking over it. Her reputation wasn’t worth it. She would give up all of her brand deals and her public image if only it’d hurt less.

“You know what?” Tess cries. “I did catch feelings for you! I’m in love with you, you asshole, is that what you wanted to hear? Yes, I broke our rules, but you broke them first when you kissed me in that fucking hotel room and told me that I didn’t have to be scared with you. Did that mean anything to you? Did it mean anything to you when you told me that we ‘didn’t have to label it’ and we could ‘just be us?’ You told me I didn’t have to be scared and I gave you everything, Paige, literally every-fucking-thing. I gave you my heart, my first kiss, my fucking virginity on New Year’s, and you just pretended like none of that happened. You pretended like you didn’t even care about me or what we did. And maybe I was just stupid enough to think that would have mattered to you.”

The apartment is agonizingly silent for a moment as Paige stares in near disbelief, looking as though Tess just pulled the rug out from under her. She looks shell-shocked, like she wasn’t expecting Tess to admit that she was in love with her, like she wasn’t expecting Tess to blame her for all of this. Then, in a weak voice, she says, “I was your first?”

The laugh that rips from Tess’s throat is watery, surprised despite herself. “That’s what you’re concerned about?”

“Tess–”

She raises her hands, backing away, her fingers shaking with rage. “No, you know what? I shouldn’t even be surprised.” Paige takes a cautionary step towards her, but Tess takes two more away from her, her gaze disappointed and somber. “God, you are such an asshole.” She opens the door, stepping out, but meets Paige’s eyes. “Lock my fucking door before you leave,” she says, then slams it shut behind her. Paige doesn’t chase after her. She’s not sure if that relieves her or distresses her.

Tess doesn’t even know where she’s going, but her legs do. She buries her hands in her hoodie pocket, the chill of the weather freezing the tears to her face. She doesn’t bother wiping them as she makes her way down the sidewalk, down to Senate street, and before she knows it, she’s walking into the Tin Roof, the bar she used to haunt before sobriety.

She knows she should leave. She’s surrounded by people of varying levels of drunkenness, and the stench of alcohol makes her nose wrinkle. She’s ten months sober – that’s a lot of progress down the drain, but she’s hardly thinking as she slides into a seat at the bar.

“Rough day?” the bartender asks kindly, wiping the inside of a glass.

Tess snorts, finally wiping her eyes with the sleeves of her hoodie. “You have no idea,” she jokes, and the bartender’s laugh makes her feel a little better about herself.

“What’ll it be?”

Tess pauses for a while, taking a deep breath. What is she doing? She doesn’t know the answer to that, but she just doesn’t want to hurt. Her knee, her mind, Paige. But she knows it’ll just hurt even more if she goes down that path again, so she says, “Can I just get a sprite, please? And like, a small cup of cherries, if that’s possible? I’ll pay.”

The bartender nods, already reaching for a clean glass and using the soda gun to fill it with sprite. “No worries, okay? On the house.” Tess opens her mouth to argue, but she figures she’s had enough of arguing today, so she just quietly thanks the bartender as she fills a small serving bowl with maraschino cherries. She slides both the drink and the cherries her way with a smile. Then she’s off to help someone at the other end of the bar.

Tess pops a cherry in her mouth, feeling a little more regulated, and takes a sip of her sprite. The TV in front of her is playing the Stanford-Washington State game. Cameron Brink is an incredible player. Tess might like to play with her someday.

They go into a media timeout when Tess feels someone slide into the stool next to her. She doesn’t have to look up from her sprite to know it’s Paige, the scent of her perfume filling her nose. Neither of them say anything for a while as Tess eats her cherries and drinks her sprite, but Paige finally breaks the silence when she says simply, “I’m sorry.”

Tess hardly reacts. “How’d you know I was here?”

“You still share your location with me,” Paige admits. “I’m sorry.”

Tess laughs humorlessly. “Yeah. I heard you the first time.”

“I mean it.”

Tess finally glances at Paige. She’s drawn into herself, her lips pursed, eyes guilty. Tess knows her well enough by now. She truly does mean it, and maybe that’s the worst part. She knew Paige better than she knew herself and still didn’t expect Paige to break her heart like this.

“I’m sorry for what I said. For ignorin’ you at the game today, for actin’ indifferent after New Year’s.” Paige swallows thickly. “I’m sorry for making you doubt how much I care about you. I’m sorry about the trainer situation – that did look weird as hell.” That makes Tess laugh quietly. “I’m sorry for accusing you of catching feelings. I was a dick.”

“Wasn’t an accusation,” Tess says. “It was the truth.”

“It was an accusation ‘cause I acted like I was blameless,” Paige clarifies, which confuses Tess. She’s silent for a beat, drumming her fingers on the bar. “Do you regret New Year’s?”

“No,” Tess answers without hesitation. That makes Paige smile a little bit. “I don’t think I ever could. Not when it was with you.”

“Why did you never tell me it was your first?” Paige asks quietly.

“Would you have done it if you’d known?”

Paige smiles somberly at her. “I woulda done it nicer. More romantic and shit. I defiled you and then you went home to your parents. I should send them an apology card.” Tess can’t help her burst of laughter. She buries her head in her hands, shaking her head, knowing that her response was so wholly Paige that it was kind of sickening.

“It was…intimidating,” Tess says slowly, lifting her head. “I’m not experienced. At all. You were my first in so many ways and none of it was even real. That’s embarrassing to admit because you’re the complete opposite of that.”

Paige scratches the back of her neck. “Not really.”

“No?” Tess inquiries.

Paige inhales deeply. “I know you have no reason to believe me, but I never…slept around. I slept with one girl before you and she was my first. We were together. Didn’t end well. I dated around for a bit and she spread the rumor that I was sleeping with them. Couldn’t really address the rumors, my brands were freaking the fuck out, my manager suggested a PR relationship… Rest is history.”

Tess suddenly feels like a complete idiot. She lays her head down on the bar as she groans, completely embarrassed. “You sat there and let me call you a whore?” she demands, her voice a silent hiss. “Oh my God. I’m literally such a jerk. Why did you never say anything?”

“Was embarrassing,” Paige says, shrugging a shoulder.

Tess huffs, quirking a smile. “Touche.”

“When did you realize?” Paige asks. “That you were in love with me.”

“In New York, when we were walking to Times Square,” Tess admits. Paige exhales sharply. “I’m sure I felt it for a while. I just couldn’t name it. But…we were walking, and you looked so pretty in the city lights, and I was thinking about when we first met, in Gampel. I wanted to get to know you then. Playing against you was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. But I missed my shot and it’s just…insane to think about the fact that almost three years after that, we’d be in New York together. And then you smiled at me and squeezed my hand and you were my New Year’s kiss. It was inevitable.”

Paige glances at her. “I realized I was in love with you after dinner, the day before.”

Tess can hear her heartbeat in her ears. She turns to stare at Paige, almost waiting for Paige to admit that it was just some sick joke, but the blonde is gazing at her fondly. “You what?”

“I realized I was in love with you after–”

“No, I heard you,” Tess says, laughing in disbelief. “There’s just no way you mean it. Not after you said ‘you caught feelings and thought that changed things.’”

Paige sinks into herself, looking guilty again. “I didn’t mean that,” she says. “I was scared. I know, stupid excuse, but it scares me, Tess. I’ve never loved anything or anyone like I love you. I’ve never really had anything permanent. My parents divorced when I was three. When I was old enough to realize what that meant, I felt like, I’on know, I wasn’t enough for them to stay together. I love my step-parents but… it was so easy for them to love someone else. It’s stupid–”

“It’s not stupid, Paige,” Tess interrupts, her heart hurting, suddenly understanding.

Paige’s smile is somber. “I dated around to find something that would last, but it never worked. It’s lonely being me. Nobody gets it – the pressure, the expectations, the sacrifice. I felt like I was searchin’ for something I couldn’t find until I got to know you and realized I was looking for someone like you. ...For you specifically.” Tess has no words for that, her pulse thrumming in her chest. Paige sighs. “When I said what I said to you, I thought I was protectin’ you. I’m not someone who lasts. I’ve never been good at long-term, but, fuck, Tess, I want long-term with you. I didn’t wanna hurt you. I was scared that I would, so I said all that ‘cause I thought you’d maybe move on from me and find someone you deserved. And I ended up hurting you, anyway.

“I realized I was in love with you after dinner,” Paige says again, undeterred. “You were wearin’ my sweater and you looked so fuckin’ beautiful. Then you fell asleep with me and I called Aubrey. I told her I thought I was in love with you – and you were layin’ there, jus’ soft, and happy, and I thought, ‘I can’t hurt her.’ But I’m selfish. I wanted to keep you. I meant it when I said you don’t gotta be afraid with me. And I only said we didn’t have to label anything ‘cause I didn’t want to lose you. I never thought we’d be here – never thought you’d love me, too, so I just wanted to enjoy it while nothin’ was wrong. It all mattered to me, Tess, everything mattered to me; every time you called me, when you trusted me, when you first held my hand, when you first kissed me, when you let me show you how much I loved you even though we didn’t have the words for it yet. It all mattered to me and I’m so fuckin’ sorry I acted like it didn’t.”

The two of them sit in contemplative silence for a while. Tess can hear – and feel – each and every one of her heartbeats. For a long time, this is all she’s wanted to hear from Paige, the apology, the explanation for the private parts of her she couldn’t ask about, the I’m in love with you, too. Now that she has it, she doesn’t want to fuck it up, but all of this is so scary. It was easy to deal with the emotions when they were in New York and nothing was wrong, when it was easy to pretend that they could have all of the love without the ugly parts. Now, they’re forced to see all of each other. They have so much more to lose now.

Tess has historically made a bad habit out of getting in her own way. She overthinks constantly. It’s Murphy’s Law – if it can go wrong, it will go wrong. She scares herself out of opportunities. But when she just stops thinking and lets things happen, she builds rickety foundations in her relationships. All of the times she thought she was saving herself heartache by avoiding the difficult conversations just so she can keep Paige have backfired on her. It led to their argument on Thanksgiving, to their argument now. Had she been a little more honest to Paige, to herself, about how she felt, then perhaps she could have saved the both of them months of anguish.

So, Tess meets Paige’s hopeful eyes, and she says carefully, “We can’t keep hurting each other like this.”

Paige exhales, not expecting that response, but she nods. “I know,” she agrees. “Whatever you want, I’ll do it – just… fuck, I don’t wanna get on that bus tonight and not be yours. For real. You’re all I want, Tess. I can’t let you slip away from me again.” Paige searches Tess’s expression, her eyes wide and yearning and pleading. Tess can’t help but soften. Haven’t they been through enough? Wondering what was real and what wasn’t, suffering through arguments when they could have easily fixed their problems with a conversation. Tess doesn’t want to go to sleep tonight and not be Paige’s, either. It’s all she’s wanted since June.

But Tess knows that they can’t pick up where they left off. They both have to heal, understand their relationship and its boundaries a little better, and for the love of God, get rid of those fucking rules (although the communicate one had some credence).

“I want to take this slow,” Tess says after a while. “We need to do this right.”

Paige relaxes, relief on her face as she nods in earnest. “I can do slow,” she promises. “Just want you.”

Tess cocks a smile, her gaze warm, and Paige’s expression is so full of love that it’s almost disarming. “Maybe we can start slow later?” she suggests, watching the gears turn in Paige brain.

Once it clicks, Paige doesn’t waste any time. She leans forward, one hand cupping Tess’s cheek, her kiss softer than anything Tess has ever felt before. She tastes like a promise, like the vow that they’re going to do right by each other from now on. The knowledge that this is real, that there’s no catch or stipulation or some stupid fucking rule, makes their collide sweeter. They were inevitable, tied together by one strand of fate; it’s taken them a while to get here, but Tess is Paige’s and Paige’s is hers, and that’s all Tess can ask for right now.

They eventually have to break away – Paige can’t stop smiling, which makes it difficult to do much of anything. Tess shoves her back with a hand to her chest, grinning softly. “You’re so fucking annoying,” Tess says, hopelessly endeared.

Paige just smirks proudly. “Not annoying. Just in love.”

Tess rolls her eyes fondly, drawing Paige in to murmur against her lips, “Same difference,” and in the same bar Tess almost threw her life away in, she kisses the woman she’s in love with, the woman who reminded her of its importance, and she knows everything is exactly as it should be.

[bitstitchbitch]

*spoilers for the dragon prince seasons 1-7 ahead*

okay, but in runaan’s pov (and forgive me if I get anything wrong here),

he goes off to kill a king and prince and… brings his daughter along. His daughter gives them away so he makes her stay behind (probably to save her life tbh) but she goes anyway and tries to convince him it’s a big mistake while protecting the adopted son of the king he’s there to kill. So then Runaan fights his own daughter but she gets away with the adopted son.

So, runaan goes back to his job and kills the king, and the only weird thing is that the king kind of squawked at him in the end? People do strange things when they are about to die though so he doesn’t think too much of it. but because his daughter betrayed them he gets captured and then trapped in a coin by an evil mage. And he gets stuck in an in-between state of unfinished business for two years before his daughter comes and saves him.

and when he’s finally free, the adopted son of the king he killed is there, and also dating his daughter? And he can’t be mad about it because the adopted son is a mage (but somehow not a dark mage despite being human) and helped his daughter save him.

So while runaan is healing up, he has to watch his daughter date this ridiculous human (who actually doesn’t show much of a grudge towards runaan for murdering the king). But soon enough the boy goes to help his brother - who runaan was also supposed to kill.

and at this point, runaan just wants to go back to his lover, but when he’s finally well enough to travel, his daughter is like “actually I’m very sorry but we have to go back to the place where you were captured and trapped in a magic coin because I promised”

so runaan goes only to be yelled at by the prince, now king, that he failed to murder and is arrested for murdering the original king because unlike adopted son this son is very angry. A few days later, his daughter saves him with the eventual help of the adopted son / annoying human with the nerve to date his daughter. But it’s fine, he finally gets back to his lover. It’s a bit of a process to get his daughter unbanished, but after that everything should go back to how it was

except because adopted son went against his king brother to help runaan escape, he is now hanging around and make inane comments about how pretty the silver grove is and making out with runaan’s daughter. And, apparently, planning on having ten kids with said daughter. Yuck

but after only two weeks of the boy’s interloping, suddenly they find out that the world is at risk of ending. And now runaan is going on a road trip with the adopted son of man he murdered / potential son-in-law only to find that the person they were searching for is already murdered and then runaan has to save the boy’s life from an evil mage (different one, btw)

and then once the evil mage leaves, the boy (who runaan has really only known for a few weeks) declares his intent to commit dark magic to trap the evil elf trying to destroy the world, but makes runaan promise to assassinate him as soon as he does dark magic so that the evil elf can’t control him. Runaan agrees to this despite probably knowing that it would break his daughter’s heart

so they go back and the adopted son is standing there ready to cast the spell and runaan is standing there ready to shoot him when Runaan gets attacked by the dark mage and thrown to the ground. Thankfully things still work out and the people who runaan care about (including the adopted son, who unfortunately wasn’t spared from using dark magic but isn’t at risk of being controlled anymore) make it out alive

so anyways, after things calm down and wanting to clear his name, runaan goes to the young king and submits to his justice. The young king forgives him, with difficulty, then asks a reasonable question. “Did my father have any last words?”

and runaan has to tell this young, twelve year old king that the last sound his father made was a squawk. Only this seems to have real significance for the people in the room and now there’s a very real chance that the person you assassinated isn’t actually dead but, somehow, swapped bodies with a… bird???

but we don’t actually know because the next season isn’t renewed.

anyways, runaan had a rough time of it

[water-lemon-alex]

excuse my half-baked menu squad essay but. notice how all the duos in the menu squad are all closely tied to its parallel.

for example payjay and paco are parallels , english breakfast and picklepaper are parallels same goes for picklejuice and tacowrap

again please excuse me if there are some stuff here that doesn’t make sense just a disclaimer

paper + oj / pickle + taco

now paper and oj became friends in the first place because of how oj can’t stand to be betrayed by anyone again. paper has also been betrayed before by s1 knife, so they kinda share the similarity. so they decided to stick together and be together no matter what. no wonder they’re the first canon couple.

pickle and taco STOPPED being friends because of betrayal. taco never thought of pickle cutting ties with her because she didn’t expect to lose. (she mentions she was built to win and she was confident in winning so losing (and how it went from there) never crossed her mind)

the payjay paco parallels revolve around trust and betrayal. paper and oj trusted each other and they both know how it feels to be betrayed. pickle and taco trusted each other but pickle lost his trust after taco’s betrayal. payjay has both been betrayed before but not from each other. in paco’s case only pickle got betrayed

taco has tried apologizing to pickle so many times via letters but pickle burned all those letters because of the pain she’s caused him. taco couldn’t move on at the time, even if pickle eventually did. and that breaks me so much.

oj + taco / paper + pickle

my personal favorite because of how their alliances played a huge part in oj and taco getting in the finale. but here’s the thing. both taco and oj have been so dependent (ish) on pickle and paper respectively (but especially on taco’s case.) in oj’s case it’s because he hasn’t won many challenges himself? one of the only times he has ever won a challenge was with paper’s help (the tile divide)

it was the middle of the night when i made this so this might not make sense later. but do you see me. pickle could not move on from taco back then, while paper feels like he “doesn’t exist” (see: ii16) because of oj’s ego getting to himself

the prize money (and literally everything that followed after) has broke taco and oj so hard it’s so obvious. because of oj’s victory, taco “unraveled” and told pickle the truth about her plan. and then domino effect.

despite oj winning the prize and building a hotel for everyone’s sake, it has taken quite a toll on him. and because of the stress that oj goes through (all those responsibilities, many of the contestants cause chaos at the hotel so oj never really takes a break much) he wanted to make himself more recognized for the things he do around the hotel. he BOUGHT this hotel for a reason. so he eventually becomes egotistical in some way, due to how the others don’t give him enough credit for giving them a place to stay post-s1 finale.

taco wanted to become more recognized too. because of her regrets with pickle, she wanted to get that recognition from someone for the hard work she does to get what she wants. for once. that someone is mic. but due to microphone leaving her because of taco taking her plans to extremes, she didn’t care about the prize anymore.

“If I can’t win the prize, I’ll play this last reprisal just to bring their lies all to an end…”

more on pickle and paper, they haven’t interacted much outside of “seas the day” (go watch seas the day btw they’re so silly), paper and pickle have both played a big part in getting taco and oj to the finale because they were their closest allies

in “the penultimate poll”, pickle only voted paper out because oj has apologized for his previous actions (the part where he resents paper for helping taco with her lemon problem) and also because oj has been around for the whole season, making him more deserving to stay than a rejoiner like paper

(it’s pretty funny because two seasons later a rejoiner (cabby) won the season. paper didn’t have too much development because he rejoined kinda late ://)

and of course, taco was never an option for pickle to vote out because he rooted for taco all the way. so taco’s betrayal hurt him even more because of that

the tacojay picklepaper parallels revolves around the attention from others, and each other! taco and oj really needed some attention after the effects of the finale to their mental health. they needed validation for everything they do. paper and pickle felt like they can’t see themselves outside the previously mentioned s1 finalists. well, from post-s1 up to ii16 at least. both have now moved on from that pain, with paper understanding oj’s feelings while pickle tries to forget about taco and move on with his life.

(do you also notice how oj and taco are the only contestants to have hosted a challenge (in the canon universe, salt and pepper were also hosts in an alternate universe). they’re not even contestants in that season. being put back into the game in a different way even though the game has already broken them enough lmao)

oj + pickle / paper + taco

this is the parallel that i can’t really explain in detail because of the very little interactions they have. this kinda has to do something with change and how they work around with each other mayhaps?

now with picklejuice, they don’t interact much at all but do you remember how they were the first two characters to get ❌’d in ii16? and tacowrap / tacopaper were so sad after their deletions? the closest friend you’ve ever had got deleted in front of your eyes! how wonderful!

i can’t bring this much in depth because they literally do not interact. well paper was still afraid of taco during ii17 because of their bumpy past post-s1 however pickle and oj eventually become cool with each other. definitely friends

paper has tried helping taco before but now they’re not as close as before. meanwhile pickle and oj used to be on pretty bad terms ever since oj left the alliance between them, taco and bomb. but they eventually became cool with each other. pretty much on the neutral side but you saw how they were hanging out at s2e7 lmao

in conclusion: the season 1 final four have so many things in common! and also they are arguably the best final four in the show DON’T COME AT ME /silly

menu squad <33 🧡💛🤍💚

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

"After stuckness comes unstuckness"

Reasons why we won

Been working on this meta for 3 days now, but it's worth it.

This confirms what I have been saying in my #Gingerpovs all along. Remember to follow that tag if you want to have a more comprehensive and historical perspective about my meta (and Sydcarmy predictions that have checked out so far), here's what I curated so far in preparation for S4, or as I always called it: The Sydcarmy ENDGAME season.

But first: Let's not forget that Landgraf is a Disney employee and so is Storer.

Here we go, please watch:

Source: Ringer Movies

“You’re at the point now where if you want more than one season of pickup, we can do it. And it may help you because you have actors that are movie stars now; they’re going to want to go do other things, and you can figure out when you’re going to make the shows and when to release them.” And they said, “No, we can’t work that way. We only want one season.” So we picked up one.

What Landgraf is not saying is that this convo he's referring to happened right after S2's amazing numbers started coming in, back in 2023.

Before the Grand Slam happened in Q1 2024:

So this "change of heart" that Storer had when he called Landgraf back once he already got to work on S3 to accept the 4th season that had previously been offered and turned down, took place right after DISNEY FX offered him an obscenely higher amount of money to reconsider, right AFTER THE GRAND SLAM. So Storer had material for a 4th season but ONLY IF he made S3 the LEGERDEMAIN season it ended up being, meaning if he saved for later THE MEAT THE SYDCARMY ENDGAME. And even then Storer said: "I can split the material I have in 2 seasons but only if I have total creative freedom for S3 and can make of it what I please", which BTW was never off the table, but he specifically agreed under that condition because he wanted to deliver a season that he knew was gonna be heavy on the 'stuckness' and mental health breakdown and how the road to recovery from trauma is not linear and it affects everyone else around, like in his real life, aka: an unpopular season.

So instead of delivering a final 3rd season that was 50%/50% (50% blue period / 50% rosé and ending on a happy note), he went for the 3rd season we all watched (100% blue) and a 4th and final season where all that "Stuckness" is gonna get unstuck, as Landgraf is SPOILING (The rosé period where they are gonna win the Star, which I think will be the scenario where Sydcarmy will blossom, because by the time they rotate to the SPRING MENU, the star will be announced, seeing as the spring menus are typically the Masterpieces of all Michelin starred restaurants, so they will most likely win it with it)

But the scripts for S4's last lap (THE SERIES FINALE) are still in the WR as we speak, the reason being that by the time that "double season pickup" was agreed upon (when Storer was offered more money) and that's why he changed his mind, HE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH MATERIAL FOR A 4TH SEASON, HE HAD TO YET COME UP WITH IT:

He may have had a 4th season in mind like I have at least 4 more FF I wanna write and have already been thinking about, some of which I have already plotted, sure! But no, I don't have them yet. So that was a white lie or a literary license Landgraf took when telling this story, TIMING MATTERS.

How will Storer go about that "unstuckness"?

Like this:

Please note that Screenrant used to be a C person stand when Storer was still trying to make that character happen. Now they don't seem to remember her name :)

It all points to Syd, as I always anticipated:

Moreover, it all points to Sydcarmy:

Check the Bonus Track please:

And there is more that Screenrant article is spoiling with complete and total greenlight of Disney and Storer themselves because if you think that Bear S4 INFOMERTIAL was published on the same day as the 2025 Disney promo, S4 teaser and just a couple of weeks after Landgraf said, and I quote:

"THOSE THAT HAVE STAYED WITH IT, THEY'RE GOING TO BE REALLY WELL REWARDED."

think again.

He is in other words saying, all those things you have been bitching about, aka: LACK OF SYDCARMY, LESS CALO, STUCKNESS, and more stuff I went over here, WILL BE TAKEN CARE OF and it's NOT GONNA BE ANOTHER "UNPOPULAR" SEASON. JUST BE PATIENT.

So, that means that we, truthers, may end up having to thank Donna for being THE plot device who brings Syd & Carmy together. Let's not fall into the red herring's trap Storer set for us in that teaser. She's not a DANGER as we all first thought, this new Donna, is a bridge that will connect her son, once he buries the hatchet with her and Syd together. If we think about it, one of the main reasons why Carmy and Syd are not together yet is his trauma, and Donna and his troubled relationship with her are the root cause of it, so once Carmy heals that trauma, having a healthy and loving relationship with a woman, any woman, will be attainable. AKA: BYE C / HI HELLO SYD (which would finally make the edition of the scene below make total sense).

Scratch the "could" because we already know she stayed and signed the agreement as I have been announcing since FOREVER and not just because I'm a truther but because it makes sense plot-wise in terms of Carmy's redemption arc.

Bonus track: UNDER THE TABLE SYDCARMY PODCAST 20TH EP For more details about S4 and more predictions and theories, etc, please listen to our podcast on Mixcloud.

Shoutout to @unladyboss for the YT vid.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[mcyt-trios]

SEMI-FINALS

PROPAGANDA:

3 Heart Trio:

theyre soo silly theyre just silly little guys who do things like mining an entire chunk in the center of the server's spawn for their own entertainment and to annoy everyone else

They are PATHETIC. They are ANNOYING. They are PERFECT. They are playing on three hearts and they die so much. They have a specialized raid platform that is NOT a raid farm. They are a team against exploits! Their base has 3 hearts above it representing them

these guys decided to put love and fun above all on the killing-lying server. while watching other teams betray and fall apart they have stuck with each other till the very last day of the server and never doubted one another. they worked like a clockwork, they knew they could only rely on themselves and at the end of the day, they didnt mind that it was that way

these guys got the short end of the stick time and time again throughout all of lifesteal s4, they were the targets of so many traps and attacks for no reason other than they were weak and always around. and despite it all they never wanted revenge and never held grudges! they cared about fun and friendship more than anything else, and while all the other teams ended up falling apart or betraying each other, these three stuck together from start to end. they didn't care about how many hearts they had, how much gear they had, or how powerful they were, because in the end all they needed was each other <3 i miss them so bad btw

Soup Group:

I love them sm. They go raid a woodland mansion together with stone tools on day 1. They go end-busting with only soup a few days later. They all based practically on top of each other and send messages under the river (or through the ceiling/basement in Gem and Impulse's case). Pearl and Impulse got mad at the king so the three of them started a revolution. Every single meetup involves them drinking suspicious stew that more often than not causes someone to go blind. They share a nether tunnel. Gem got bored and they all had wooden sword fights. They put their faces all over each other's bases. Gem still uses the "Behind You Gem! 2.0" sword that Impulse made her at the beginning of the season. There's so many inside jokes between them. Please, they mean so so so much to me <3

They're neighbours. They're going on soup adventures. They're watching each other die in comedic ways. They're slaying each other with wooden swords. They're teasing each other. They have an elaborate messaging system they never use. Pearl keeps making them blindness soup and then the others complain that she's blinded them again and then they'll do it all again next week. They're silly and goofy and so much fun. I love them.

[sherrysgirl]

spaeve rant??

season 8 spoilers !!!

i just finished watching zugzwang last night and i’m on my first watch so my thoughts might change anytime (i doubt that)

tbh i don’t know how to feel abt the maeve arc. overall, i think maeve and spencer had a lot of potential. they’re super cute, both very smart people and share a bunch of the same interests but their storyline was so horribly written.

first of all, she just appears out of nowhere? and we’re told that they’ve been in contact for a long time when spencer sent her his mri scans (to which she said his mri looked so interesting she just had to get to know him????)

they first start out with sending each other letters for three months but once it gets serious between them they switch to talking on a payphone every sunday. which is basically what their entire relationship is (worse than edating tbh) because she has a stalker and doesn’t want them to know abt spencer.

and not only that but they have absolutely no clue how the other person looks like. maeve knows his full name and the fact that he works with the fbi but for some reason she refuses to look him up (could not be me!)

she has been terrorized by this stalker for so long, she literally had to end things with her fiancé (who she never told spencer abt btw), quit her job and hid at home for several months. yet when spencer offered to help find her stalker with his team she said no and for whatever stupid reason spencer let her be, knowing damn well from his job as an fbi agent that most stalkers don’t just “disappear”. how did these two even want to continue their relationship?? get married and have kids over the payphone?

and once they think the stalker is gone and arrange a date, spencer panics and thinks a random man (who turned out to be the ex fiancé) is the stalker so he calls maeve and tells her to go back home. two minutes later he figures out that he’s not the stalker and just moves on with his day when he could’ve just called her again and told her to come back i promise you she probably didn’t even get into a taxi yet 😭

but hey!!!! they actually ended up seeing each other 🙈 only both of them were held at gunpoint and he had to tell her that he doesn’t love her because the stalker told him to. then she was pretty much killed in front of his own eyes and entire team. fun!

i’m honestly after whoever thought of this entire arc because while i appreciate trying to give spencer a love interest this was horrible horrible writing from start to finish. i get that’s what mgg wanted. but we saw her alive for a good three episodes? and zugzwang was a mess tbh. i was underwhelmed and confused. you’re horrible at your job and the twelve year old wattpad writers could do him more justice than you mfs.

[trealtox]

I hate season 7 of "Buffy the vampire slayer"

Let's get this straight, I like these series. They are fun and entertaining (and I only started watching it because of Spuffy). But I HATE season 7.

First of all, what is the deal with those guys? Out of the blue all characters (Spike excluded. Love him❤️) start doubting Buffy and her leadership. This girl saved all of you hundreds of times, and when the world is on the edge of collapsing, you turn your backs on her?! If she's such a bad leader, then why did you put all the responsibility on her shoulders? Why did you bring her back from heaven? To tell her, that she's not better than you? I'm sorry guys, but your crew is: a whining bitch-boy, magic (read as 'drug') addicted witch, a blorb of energy, a former vengeance demon and a killer watcher. With your list of deeds, I have bad news for you: none of you goes to heaven. NONE. She IS better than you.

Second of all, what is their sudden problem with Spike? In the last season all Scoobies want to kill Spike and say that it's because he's dangerous. Well, he is. Just like all of you. Your killer count talks louder than you (he killed because he was souless and he feeds on blood. You killed because you could. There is difference). They keep saying that he should be taken out because he is dangerous, and yet remind me, who held him by their side while he was useful? And did Scoobies thank him even once? (I actually don't remember. Tell me, if they did) Buffy is the only person who actually tries to be reasonable and accept that Spike has changed. In return she gets a potential slayer,a school headmaster and her own father figure being all mad at her, saying that she is the problem. If you want to kill him so badly, just do it already and stop making Buffy responsible for your own wishes (not like I would forgive them if they did)

Point number 3. Again with the hypocrisy of Scoobies. Faith comes back, sees that girls can't stop complaining and decides to take them out clubbing. Buffy sees that and gets mad (logically). Later on everyone decides that Faith should be the new leader. Why? Why would a former killer and a traitor be a good leader? Because she took a bunch of teens drinking, when you should all be ready to fight? If I recall, it was almost considered a crime for Buffy to rest, when there were better times. Now, when Buffy is tired and stressed from constant responsibility, all the potential slayers say that she's "not cool". Scoobies just can't be more hypocritical. Faith killed people out if her own free will. She teamed up with a villain, and she enjoyed it. Buffy made one mistake of attacking one villain. What do Scoobies get out of that? "Buffy is not better than us. Faith is. 🎶Let's put this guy infront of the crowd🎶". And let's be honest with that: Giles acts petty in here. The only reason he stands against Buffy, is because she got sick of him lying to her and telling her to kill Spike, so she honestly told him that she can't trust any of them. He got offended by her disobedience so much, that he decided to get rid of her. That's not a nice thing to do to a girl who is like a daughter to you.

Btw, Faith deserves a second chance and Spike doesn't? Spike was SOULESS. He wasn't supposed to be good and yet he almost died just to be the better version of himself. At the same time Faith was supposed to be the protector of people, yet she decided to join the homicide. She was creepy enough to SMELL THE KNIFE. And yet we get a whole storyline about "bad Buffy still thinking of her as a killer." The hero we deserve, I suppose? Btw, Faith IS a killer. She enjoyed it. I don't know why Scoobies want to forgive her so badly and give her a bunch of teens, taken away from Buffy, but they don't trust Spike.

And my favourite. The cherry on top. THEY KICKED HER OUT OF HER OWN HOUSE. Giles had his own place. Xander has his own place. Willow wasn't homeless before she moved into the Summers's house. And yet, when they needed a place to put all the potential slayers, they took them into Buffy's house. And then they kick her out. The "good guys".

Buffy needs no enemies with friends like that.

[emerald-cloud23]

Genuinely hate what they did with the Serpentine Lore in s4 if I can be honest and ramble my frustrations here? (I go and talk about other Serpentine too)

The Anacondrai, both the dead tribe and the cultists, have very obviously a different shade of purple scales and a severe lack of black/yellow markings and crystals that Pythor has as well as the very different neck and head shape which are all very valid reasons to be disappointed in their designs, I am too. But it gets worse.

S1 shows us how Scales became the Hypnobrai general- he got different markings, got a tail and was the only one who held the staff. There was a second in command (which was Scales' previous rank in the tribe) and each member of the tribe that wasn't the general had legs. Plus, there's about four to five different designs per tribe (depends if you count the leader/general with their clearly shown special markings and tail). There is only one general per tribe.

The s4 Anacondrai lack all of that. All of them have a tail, even Garmadon and Skylor recieve snake tails despite clearly not being the Anacondrai general. This season mentions there's multiple generals in the Anacondrai tribe, yet we're only shown Anacondrai with the tail. Not a single one with legs or distinct designs. The lack of a resemblance to Pythor's markings, colors and head/neck shape is enraging enough but the absolute lack of diversity in their designs is so painful to watch as someone who literally has a degree in media design. They make it look like Pythor, even pre-bleach, like a completely different type of Serpentine while all the others are the same bland carbon copies of each other. They're literally my least favorite tribe because of this and I don't even have any Serpentine minifigures yet (except Crystalized Aspheera, but I'm getting to her later anyway) but even if I did, I wouldn't want to display them. I'd willingly display any Serpentine tribe except the Anacondrai. And that's saying something for someone who finds the designs of the Vermillion reminiscent of guts and thus dislikes them.

On the topic of the Vermillion, why not briefly discuss why there's not a single one of those with a Serpentine tail? Easy: they're the tiny baby snakes that just somehow through Ninjago logic can form human-sized Serpentine that can talk and do everything perfectly. They're basically just the little baby snakes though, and last I checked babies can't take over leadership positions.

Now, a brief look at Aspheera because people don't like that she has the ghost tail in sets instead of the Serpentine tail. And that's also really easy to answer: she's not a general, she's a sorceress. Not a general. Yes, she has a tail in the show but she has a completely different rank from the other Hypnobrai of her time that we know of (btw, I love that Char is in the flashbacks with her (except when she frees Wu and Garmadon), that's so cute imo). Speaking of Hypnobrai, did you pay attention to her in the flashbacks vs. her when she's released from the pyramid? When she's young she has Hypnobrai markings on her head but when she is free she doesn't. Why? I'd say it's like the earlier mention of markings, like how the general has their own distinct markings for whoever takes that spot & that exiled Serpentine (remember, she was to be magically entombed for her crime of overthrowing the king) just lose their markings altogether so you can easier identify those that are no longer a part of the tribe. There, problem solved. And for the question on how she could absorb fire and crystal powers? Simple: sorceress. She ccould've probably used Nya's water in crystalized too, if not for the New Ninja and police coming to lock the ninja up.

Also.. The pyro vipers? They're mummies. I assume they've been long dead even before Aspheera and the pyramids lava 'ignited'/revived them. I've no guess what tribe they could've been from but I definitely doubt that it would be a fire-related one. However, the Hypnobrai evolved physically and changed into the type that we've known since 2012 some time after Aspheera got locked in the pyramid. I also like that we got to see the Hypnobrai no longer being purely blue/grey with some yellow but that there's also some pink and purple ones now. That is, what I would say, a result of the four Serpentine tribes being locked under Ninjago city and uniting in more ways than just "we're all friends now".

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hello! I’ve seen you say a couple times* that there are hints and parallels in the show that could mean they’re going to make Lestat’s rape into vampirism literal, which would be a really interesting adaptation. I’m curious what hints you saw in season one 👀 I have some vague ideas but I’d love to hear your analysis!

*i keep going back to reading your “Monstrous are what monsters be”; it’s incredible

Hey!

Glad you like the fic! It's... been very hard to write, and I bet it will be even worse to watch... :/

So for the hints.... Well, I mean, for one it is good to know (or remember, depending on if you've read it^^), that the turning scene in TVL is written as a rape with forced orgasm.

The show has added sex to it all - and they have added sexual assault.

I know Rolin Jones put his foot into his mouth a bit wrt to Claudia, but... I think there's reasons for it all (and why he did not further elaborate), especially since this show so loves both the parallels and the mirroring.

And if you listen to him in the podcast? It's very clear, imho.

Now, as for the hints etc we already got:

There's tears in Lestat's eyes when he realizes that Claudia has been hurt while she was away. He cannot read her, but he clocks in on it right away. He recognizes.

The sexual assault of Claudia we hear of in and by itself. Unfortunately all too common. It is what ultimately drives her back, and what... ultimately nourishes her hatred of her guardians/parents.

Lestat says to Louis that there is a "darkness in her that wasn't there before", again, a darkness he recognizes.

Armand reacts to Daniel's "save it for the rent boy" comment in a rather telling way, at least if you know that he was sold as a sex slave while mortal (book canonically)

Lestat mentally hunts down and tracks Bruce. Now I know the train scene is hard to stomach in the way it is told, but that detail always stuck out for me. He says Louis did not want him to ask, but he not only knows who did it, he also knows that he has a motorbike and is roaming the american hinterlands. That takes a lot of mind scanning to achieve, and speaks of a lot of empathy for what happened to her - and anger.

The way Lestat talks about his own turning. "He kept me for a week", "fed on me every night", "my eyes, my physique". The show has already extended the horror to a week. Magnus later chooses to look like Lestat (at least in parts), a very fucked-up detail Anne put into the books, he desires Lestat and the way he looks. That mixed up with sexual desire that is fused with the blood? Harrowing.

The show very poignantly made sure Louis would consent to his turning, a change from the books and even the movie. I think that in and by itself is also a direct result from making that literal, the way Lestat was/will be forced. (Btw. another parallel: Claudia did not get to have a choice either, and that is something that she comments on, too.)

The hate sex (aftermath). I have spoken about it, but the aftermath of the hate sex, this very rough sex, and the bruises, and the bites, and the scratches, and the stab wounds... and then the way Lestat holds himself there, and the way Louis looks at him.

They can see things in the blood. Louis knows, more than Claudia does, there.

So all these little things... speak a very clear language, imho.

Also - it is important for the upcoming arcs (with Armand).

Because Lestat was forced.

And Armand will try to force him as well.

Which is why they never really got together.

[shoepolishpolice]

SIX OF CROWS SPIN-OFF PREDICTIONS

Part 1

I have thought this through and you know what..I think we can all get what we want. I’m going to breakdown how they can work with the storyline they’ve made and give justice to the crows.

(This is my jumbled non stop thoughts btw I’m not referring to the books really so I expect I’ll miss a few things)

To start here’s some basics:

• We won’t be seeing Per Haskell again, the Dregs and Crow club belong to Kaz and in the new season I expect we will see a much younger crew including Kesh and Anika compared to the random old dudes Kaz beat up in s2. Also the Crow and the Cup tattoos.

• There will be a much bigger focus on family and particularly parents - every single crow has major shit w parents. I think something that is never given much thought even in the books is how young children are taken from the family’s to train as grisha and they don’t return- this happened to nina and it really wasn’t discussed much and should be.

• The eight episodes have actually already been written and we know there is an Inej centric episode and a Wylan one too. I expect Inej’s episode will be a standout as we’ve seen pretty much nothing about her past- definitely the hardest to watch but one that very much deserves telling and Amita is an incredible actress and I completely trust her w Inej

• We’ve already had an article saying sab3 is king of scars based plus the new Alina and mal!sturmhond story but the soc story would happen simultaneously. There’s a chance the last scene we see is s2 actually happens after the crows have already been to the ice court and they call for Nikolai around this time- meaning it can be dealt w before having Alina exposed to Parem which I don’t care for and they said they waited for the story as they didn’t want the darkling to use it

• also people seem to think inej is not coming back- obviously she is. Pretty sure they r sending her away to get a taste of what she could do and will return w a sense of purpose and revenge - I’ll explain why later. Also the writers have said she only goes for a few weeks so it’s cool

• we will see a lot of flashbacks for each crow- we’ve seen about two mins worth of Kaz’s and I want them to explore his rise through the barrel as a kid and show his life in lij to prove truly how cruel the world was to him. Obviously Wylan’s past is a major focus of this story but I expect we will get that in a Crooked Kingdom based series two which is also thr first time we got a wylan pov chapter. Hopefully we will get to see more of Jespers childhood but again probably a bigger focus for later when colm arrives. As for Matthias I hope we see how he was raised in a militant, angry cultish way after the death of his family. I don’t expect we will get much on nina but I hope we do as i always felt we missed out slightly on the effects of her past. And ofcourse Inej who I hope they take the most care with in their retelling.

Now getting the plot back on track is actual quite simple and people r freaking out for no reason.. so here it is

I expect the show will start w Kaz agreeing to Van Ecks offer w all that came along in his first book chapter and a longer version of the crows last scenes w just saw in s2

Next inej will return - kaz will call for her but I think what will also bring her back is the return of Tante Heleen. We didn’t see a body and we know pekka ‘killed’ her to frame kaz so who’s to say he bothered killing her and just paid her off but now serves as his way out of hellgate

With Tante Heleen alive, pekka is no longer guilty of murder and will be released from Hellgate. This is potentially how pekka and Van Eck connect- pekka will want retribution for wrongly being imprisoned and will receive a lot of money from the merchant council as compensation

This will set off kaz and inej and THIS will now be the CK ending where we get full closure with their pasts. The books kept Heleen and pekka alive so I think the show will see it through to the end. People felt we got Kaz’s revenge too soon so I expect them to find an even bigger, badder and more horrific way to fuck them over

The kanej reunion upon Inej’s return from sea is going to set the tone. Either kaz has begun to make progress in her absence or he’s closed himself off tenfold

Now helnik is pretty much unchanged, their scenes were basically word for word in s1 and I think it can carry on for soc. They’re most likely to be the most book accurate ship now and i hope there will be a lot more emotional depth and background to Matthias who I think is completely underrated and overlooked. He has an incredibly big character arc and I think we will see a lot more of what is costs him

So they break Matthias out of Hellgate most likely in a very similar way to the books.

Now we get the Wylan identity reveal. Wesper is already established so it’s going to be an even bigger shock. However I think jespers gambling addiction will have gotten a lot worse in a very short space of time and this has already been causing a problem + I think they gleamed over him coming to terms w being grisha too fast so they will back track a bit when Colm gets involved which reminds Jesper why he hid for so long

Now I think we could get the ck last chapter here w inej threatening pekka and Alby before they depart. However it will backfire a bit. He will actually get spurred on to take down kaz and he’ll realise there’s something between kaz and inej. He can team up w heleen and use it against them

Now the next part can actually carry on faithfully to the books - if Jesper is back in debt his slip up will get back to pekka and result in the harbour ambush and Kaz’s distrust of Jesper. Also perhaps they use the hummingbird rather than the ferolind

Notorious kaz boyfriend of ripping eyes out will ensue

Now here’s something new. Kaz won’t stay away from inej now, it would completely eradicate everything that just happened in s2. So I expect we will get another bandage scene here or simply see kaz watching over inej as she heals

Now this is where I think the inej episode will fit (within the first 4 eps) it will delve into her past in ravka, her abduction, time at the menagerie and meeting kaz/being trained by him (that last one may happen throughout the series tho and perhaps more from Kaz’s perspective like in the books). And here’s where we see what inej has been doing whilst away briefly and how she felt bringing down slavers and her new purpose to track down those who hurt her and take down heleen

Now pretty much everything from this point onwards to the end of the Six of Crows books can remain the same. The differences are: established wesper, most likely pekka isn’t hired for this job, a more open kanej and a slightly more powerful kaz as a baby barrel boss

I’m not going to re explain the story here as they have used very little SOC plot so far

They have done a version of the prison wagon scene but I think they will do the book one too as inej will be there, kaz faints this time and ultimately it’s worse then the s2 one (which made me feel physically sick for kaz all within the first 15 mins of the show)

That’s the end of part 1! I’m feeling very positive thinking of all this. You stay for the characters in soc they are so wonderfully different and clever, a story of these kids who are expected of nothing but achieve everything. I expect the series will have a rather different tone compared to Sab and will truly show the significance of these six characters finding each other.

[tarisilmarwen]

Rebels Rewatch: "Zero Hour"

Thrawn's master plan pays off in a devastating season finale.

I calculated out once approximately how many onscreen casualties we had on the Rebels' side from this battle. I'd like us to keep those figures in mind while we watch as a reminder of how well Thrawn's attack actually went.

(People tend to selectively forget that part when talking about how all the main characters managed to survive.)

One of the Imperial musical motifs to open us up and even covered in smog and pollution Capital City is still pretty.

Unlike Tarkin's big entrance two seasons ago, there's only Konstantine and Pryce and a couple rote Stormtroopers to welcome Thrawn's shuttle. Because Thrawn does not bother with the flashy shows of force, with the politics and pomp and circumstance. All he cares about are results.

"Thrawn's Web" is in keyboard synths now instead of organs, for his first appearance, btw.

It's kind of adorable how Kallus repurposed the mouse droids to be spy cameras for him.

Our premise is set: Thrawn has figured out--from their sorties and surveys and smaller attacks, most likely--that Phoenix Squadron are preparing to move to attack Lothal's TIE factories. Tarkin doubts in their audacity, but Thrawn has seen Hera in action and knows she very much would dare.

This meeting with Tarkin is twofold, on the surface level a strategy conference, but also another attempt to bait out Fulcrum. Just as he used the map back in "Through Imperial Eyes", he uses this covert meeting to entice Kallus into warning the Rebellion, into taking action that would expose him.

I don't think they ever followed up on this plot element they introduce here, that Thrawn apparently had spies tracking Dodonna's group? Unclear if they were in that Rebel cell or just had good eyes on them. My vote is the latter because Yavin remains undiscovered by the Empire both before and after this battle and the remnants of both Dodonna's group and Phoenix Squadron flee there safely.

Tarkin puts a single leash on Thrawn for the upcoming pre-emptive strike: Capture the leadership alive. If not for this one condition, I'm pretty sure Thrawn would have just slaughtered both Rebel groups in full. Thrawn doesn't seem particularly bothered by this condition, in any case, not a single sign of annoyance or displeasure on his face, but a soft smile instead.

Leaning hard into these OT feels with Luke's Theme and what sounds like ambient noise lifted directly from the Yavin scenes in New Hope.

There's a distinct feeling of optimism here. Ezra is happily gushing about how much everyone else has done for the Rebellion. (Love that cute little wavering gesture he does with his hand to qualify Chopper's contributions lol.) And then Kanan says some of it was Ezra too and ugh my heart.

He immediately deflates and dismisses his own contributions. "Kanan, I... I didn't do any of this." and my brain goes immediately to his soft guilty, "I didn't do anything." from all the way back in the pilot and the self-esteem issues he's shown throughout the series, how he has trouble believing in himself, how he doesn't think he's anything without Kanan and the others, that there's nothing special about him. He thinks he would have been stuck on Lothal "waiting to be rescued like everyone else".

(This is one of the reasons Ezra's grief over Kanan later turns largely self-pitying.)

Kanan's "Ezra, you have never been like everyone else." stabs me right in the gut, hgn. This whole conversation about how Hera saw something special in Ezra, and he did too (eventually), how he wonders if there's even anything left he can teach Ezra... even with the death flags all over it it's still pure heartwarming, basically an open acknowledgement of Kanan as Ezra's father figure.

"He commands one of the largest Rebel cells I know of." HA. HA HA. HA HA HA HA HA. HAAAAAAA. *cries*

It's... adorable that Kallus was using Ezra's old comm tower to send his Fulcrum messages. Kind of stupid, because of course that would be the place to check for a Rebel spy heavily associated with a former Lothal-based group, he may as well have put out a big welcome mat for Thrawn, but it's cute nonetheless.

This fight has been analyzed a few times by people much more keen to this stuff than me but I do like how blunt and precise Thrawn's every move is. Also I did notice that Thrawn targeted Kallus's bad knee (the one he broke on Bahryn).

*grumbles* The "heart of a Rebel" line would have been just that much more awesome if it was a bit more earned. *grumbles*

You know I think this blather about Kallus providing the last clue Thrawn needed is a bunch of bullshit, Thrawn already knew the planet was there, he saw it in the artwork he was studying and realized it had been deleted off his map.

Man just wanted to gloat.

Kallus's face tho. :((((

Continuity callback to "Legacy" and the Empire flushing them off Garel.

The slow build-up of this ambush is great. Fulcrum cutting out, Ryder mentioning the fleet above Lothal just vanished, Hera and Ezra realizing with horror what that means, Sato called away to see the Star Destroyers dropping out of hyperspace, Ryder's holoimage vanishing...

And that final nail of dread when you realize Thrawn brought Interdictors to the battle to cut off their escape.

And there's the flagship in all her glorious splendor.

Thrawn's theme creeping in eerily here as the man himself decides to call in and gloat some more. With any other character this might be empty bravado but we know by now that Thrawn can back this threat up.

And so the stage is set.

Hera quickly realizes she can't brunt force her way through Thrawn's fleet without suffering heavy casualties, so her plan is to try and open the formation up enough to get a ship through to summon reinforcements, basically a Gondor Calls For Aid ploy. They hold out until help arrives behind the Imperial vanguard to distract them, hopefully allowing the Rebels to slip through.

"As Jedi you have the best chance to escape." Oof, Hera knows just how small their opening is going to be, going to need an assist from Force-imbued quick reflexes. And she knows the Alliance responds stronger to calls to action from Jedi, because Jedi are the inspiration, the standard bearers, Jedi make people hope.

Kanan planning on enlisting Bendu and Hera having no idea what he means lolol.

These goodbye/good luck shoulder touches mean everything ghkjh.

Luke's Theme struggles to break in, but the note progression is wrong, ascending to shorter heights than it should be. The heroism of the theme is hesitant, uncertain.

Thrawn's already pegged Sato's strategy, recognizing it by name and implements countermeasures smoothly. The plan to try and spread out the Star Destroyers is dead on arrival before it can get started, Thrawn closes formation and relies on the fighters to batter the front guard of the Rebel forces.

Konstantine whines about why aren't they charging in at full strength and Thrawn shuts him down, warning that the Rebels are going to do something unexpected and that it's only his strategy that's going to win out, shut up, sit down, and follow MY orders. Kallus, who has worked with Konstantine for years, knows exactly how Konstantine is going to take being told to stay put, exactly how he'll see it--as a petty fight for glory.

Thrawn dismisses that. He's not interested in glory, only results. And this is where his lack of political acumen is going to come back and bite him.

Hera enters the battlefield herself, and we see Wedge too. Kanan, meanwhile, is trekking it out to the Bendu hollow to go be a nuisance and give an excellent deconstruction of why neutrality in the face of evil is not only less than helpful it actively harms the righteous cause because With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility, if you can act to defeat an evil or work against it you should. This is why Empire stans' crowing about how there were good decent people working for the Empire holds very little water, at a certain point Joe the Average Stormtrooper is going to either witness or be asked to participate in some type of atrocity or injustice, and what they do when confronted with the knowledge "Oh, the organization I work for is actually Really Terrible And Evil." matters. If they bury their ears in the sand and declare, "Not my problem." they're complicit in the daily tyranny and oppression of the system they uphold.

"But when I saw innocents harmed, and knew I had the power to do something about it, I couldn't just watch it all burn down around me!" *CRIES IN "THE JEDI CODE IS LIKE AN ITCH, HE CANNOT HELP IT" FEELINGS*

Ezra's job thus far seems to be to help pick off Imperial fighters and stay out of enough dogfights to watch for his opening. He looks stressed.

Sato changes strategy, ordering a charge. It's disastrous immediately, they lose like three big ships in the space of thirty seconds. And Ezra can't edge around the battlefield far enough to get access to the hyperspace lane opening.

Frick, the frustration in his voice...

This pushes Sato to attempt the Rebel Alliance's favorite tactic: Ram a ship into another ship. This kind of heroic self-sacrifice happens all the time on the Alliance's side, a kind of lighter version of a kamikaze attack, an "If I gotta die I'm taking you down with me!" kind of desperate bravery.

The two pilots that stay behind out of loyalty to Sato says nothing really about them and everything about Sato and the kind of man he is, that people would willingly elect to stay with him to the bitter end.

Sato has them head on a course that seems like they're attempting to escape. Konstantine sees it and takes the bait, defying Thrawn and moving out of position.

Ho ho man the shock on Thrawn's face.

At the last second Sato has the pilots swerve course and plow into Konstantine's Interdictor and THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN A PERFECT TIME TO HAVE A REACTION SHOT FROM MART, GUYS, JUST SAYING.

Godspeed sir. *sobs*

Ezra slips through and Thrawn has his fleet tighten once again, repositioning his remaining Interdictor and you can hear the vaaaaaaaaguest hint of irritation in Thrawn's voice here lol.

Organs punctuate this cue, hints of Thrawn's theme overhanging, threatening.

Back down on the ground Kanan's Persuasion Check isn't working so now he switches to insults.

Bendu ah... does not take kindly. I think it's actually kind of hilarious that the whole terrible "It was the will of the Force that the Jedi get genocided!" take is put into the mouth of Bendu after he got pissy for being called a coward. I feel like that maybe was deliberate. Like, "You wanna be like this asshole, fandom? Yeah, didn't think so."

Ezra is having similar trouble getting help from Mon, who feels like sending any of their limited forces to the battle would just reveal them further to Thrawn, alluding to some kind of disagreement she and Bail had about this matter. Bail apparently thought it was too soon for open war. (And that's why he's still in the Senate and Mon abdicated to shore up the Alliance.) I think it runs deeper than that, though, Mon is many things but she's not a strategist and she knows it. In a way she's almost a foil to Thrawn, skilled in politics and people but ill-adept at battle, whereas Thrawn does not understand politics but is a devastating war general.

Ezra's not ready to just abandon Phoenix Group though, so he beelines straight for the person who's been missing from things this whole time.

For Sabine. <3

She's talked about a lot in the opening scene in the next episode, too, reminding us she's not been here. Thrawn's fleet has now made a blockade cover directly overhead of the base, and they're preparing for orbital bombardment.

The worry in Hera's voice when urges Kanan, "Faster... please?" <3

Heeeeeeeeeey remember that time the holonet referenced Base Delta Zero and I told y'all it was basically a bunch of Star Destroyers holding in orbit and glassing everything on a planet's surface?

NOW YOU GET TO SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE DIRECTLY UNDER ONE! :D

Frick that's terrifying.

Thrawn's theme plays in brass, an overwhelming drama to the score as the batteries fall. I love the way this is shot, with close-ups on Thrawn and Hera's faces as if they're staring at each other from across the battlefield. Thrawn doesn't order the ceasefire until Hera flinches, turning her eyes and bracing.

This Base Delta Zero was not solely an intimidation tactic, however. Thrawn likely weakened the localized shield enough for the ground forces to be able to penetrate. He does have his directions from Tarkin and a ground assault will more likely yield him living prisoners than continuing the bombardment.

"I'm getting the feeling Thrawn's actually trying to kill us this time." "Ohhh-ho that is only funny because you're still alive. Now please, come home, love." <3333333 They are so married. So so married. It's actually been a while since Hera called him "love" so she must be feeling Some Type Of Way right now.

HER FACE.

SHE WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM. <3

They're both immediately in front of Ursa together to petition her. And they are this close to holding hands sssfdsrrrhfhghh.

Kallus cackling because he knows he can get under Pryce's skin like he can't get under Thrawn's.

Thrawn still sounds just a smidge annoyed. :)

Ezra preparing to leave by himself empty-handed until Sabine declares, "And Rohan will answer!"

Curse this photo limit I'm going to need to make a separate post of just their interactions there's so much good subtle stuff here.

SABINE THINKS THEY CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE BECAUSE EZRA BELIEVES THEY CAN, CRIPES I AM UNWELL.

Sabine thinking strategically and figuring out the obvious target. <3

Meanwhile Rex has set up a choke point to hopefully slow the ground forces down, buy Ezra enough time to come back with help.

Nnghhghkh I didn't think the AT-DPs were capable of freaking me out but that whole big cluster of them all advancing slowly is uh... a good contender.

Thrawn apparently sent the AT-DP company to sus out the Rebels' defenses, so now he's sending in the big bois, the AT-ATs. Not the first or last time he would sacrifice lower level troops to a specific objective. This also serves to prime us to expect multiple waves from Thrawn, which would be used to devastating effect next season.

Love this Big Damn Heroes moment from Kanan here. <3 One Jedi, one nice slice with the lightsaber, felled a whole walker.

The build-up to the Bendu storm is great too, the clouds keeping on rolling in and darknening. Atollon doesn't actually seem to get storms very often, the only two times we've seen it storming were in "Visions And Voices" and now. It does make Thrawn look very intimidating.

EEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

And the first thing our Mandalorian reinforcements do is jam transmissions. Not sure from where to where, from the Interdictor to the other Destoyers? From the Destroyers to the ground troops? Just trying to figure out how much of Pryce not telling Thrawn about the Mandos was her failure versus she literally couldn't call him.

Right so Pryce's first mistake was moving the capital ships, Thrawn had them smack over the base for a reason. Now there are gaps in the formation that the Rebel ships can slip through. The Fang fighters were sent in as a distraction while Ezra and Sabine bring the gauntlet in to attack the Interdictor.

AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER TO HEAR THE HEROIC VARIATION OF THE "SHENANIGANS" CUE.

AT-ATs firing up through the coral overhangs from below, at the landing platforms the Rebels have made on one of the big leaves.

Hera sounds like she was getting ready to make a last stand, she was insistent on being in the Ghost when she went out and she sounded astonished to hear Ezra.

ANDTHENTHERE'STHISASSHOLE.JPEG.

*pillows hands* It is fascinating that Thrawn specifically threatens Kanan first to get Hera to surrender. Methinks he has discerned the "special relationship" the two have.

He keeps his hand on his own sidearm, too, makes me wonder if he was planning on doing some of the executions personally.

Thrawn was all ready with some type of comment about not being afraid of the weather and then the lightning struck a liiiiiiiiiitle too close lol.

He's already looking up at the sky like, "Okay that ain't natural." and Bendu's face hasn't even emerged yet lololol.

Angry god face in the clouds and and everyone basically just scatters ha ha. Troopers go that way, Rebels go that way, this is a little awkwardly staged so yeah it does kind of feel like the Imperials just let Hera and the others go.

But again. Angry god face in the clouds hurling lightning bolts down on you. I feel like they don't cover that scenario in training lol.

Sabine with faith in Hera to get the others out awww.

HELLO YES, MY SHIP BE BATTLE COUPLE NOW Y/Y?

"Shenanigans" coming in again, grimmer and more serious than ever, such a far cry from its original instrumentation.

"Hey, I don't have a jetpack." "You have those little thrusters!"

*raises finger, opens mouth*

Was... was that supposed to sound like some kind of "size joke" innuendo?

<333333

"I might have made him angry." Lol just a bit, Kanan, just a bit.

A very atmospheric last look at Atollon.

Don't think we've ever heard Thrawn shouting before, he's trying very hard not to be unnerved lol. And amazingly his, "Shoot the hell out of whatever that is." idea works. Props to Thrawn he took down a literal physical god.

I love the whole fight atop the Interdictor it's just so visually interesting. And Ezra is awesome throughout.

Kallus makes his move once Pryce is sufficiently rattled and flustered by the Interdictor blowing up, sassing her into ordering him out the airlock.

Even with the second Interdictor gone, not all the ships make it through.

I love the way the Stormtroopers Kallus takes out just slowly slide down the wall ha ha. Also love that his escape plan was basically, "Eject myself into an open battlefield, send coordinates, and pray."

I love this music cue, it captures the drama and pyrrhic nature of their escape.

Aaaaaah yes, the Thrawn-Bendu conversation of Foreshadowing. I love this. Thrawn once again trying valiantly not to show how disturbed he is by all of this, Bendu sounding astonished that he was actually hurt by something and then the prophetic words:

"I see your defeat... like many arms surrounding you in a cold embrace."

Fandom had a hard time puzzling that one out I tell ya.

SINGLE TAKE SHOT.

This shot is so good, how we slowly track Kanan as he moves through the Ghost, pausing to listen to important conversations, how he puts a hand on Zeb's shoulder as he passes. THE MUSIC.

Underrated and undeveloped friendship, I want so much more interaction between these two. Fic recs? Anyone? Bueller?

Kanan makes his way to Ezra in the nose gun, who is dejected and somber. Losing Atollon is not just a blow to the Alliance, but a blow to him personally, since it was the attack to help Lothal that got interrupted by Thrawn's ambush. He'd just spend the whole previous episode getting his head back right about his purpose and true goal and place in the story and now it seems further away than ever and that much harder to accomplish.

For some bizarre reason fandom took Kanan's, "There's a future for us, one where we're all free." as much more literal foreshadowing than I think it merited. Mostly after the fact, to complain that it was some kind of broken narrative promise after Kanan died. Guys c'mon, this is meant to be taken in context, as Kanan comforting Ezra with promises of hope, just like Hera did at the end of "Visions of Hope". This is not a prophecy, the "us" is a general us not specifically Kanan-and-Ezra us and the repetition of "I've learned to see things differently" is about reorienting your perspective, not Kanan saying he's literally getting visions.

Anyway, on Kanan's note of optimism in the face of defeat, the remnants of the fleet jump into hyperspace and close us out.

"Zero Hour" definitely has a bit of that Empire Strikes Back pyrrhic victory feel, we escaped and live to fight another day, but the cost was high, the attack on Lothal's factories was delayed and will remain off sometime in an indeterminate future, we lost a major Rebel base and were dealt a severe blow to morale. The Alliance moves more hesitantly after this, afraid to tip its hand too far and attract Thrawn's attention. The camerawork is fantastic throughout and there's a feeling of homecoming as our scattered characters come back together. With a few quibbles, this finale is very very good.

Overall Season Thoughts:

Season Three is the most uneven in quality of the show. The standout episodes are among the more fantastic of the show's run, but the duds fall even flatter. There are episodes that are solid but just "okay", plot threads and elements that are introduced only to receive no follow-up, and overall it feels just a bit messier than the previous two seasons.

That being said... it's still my favorite season. XD I tallied it up and the majority of my favorite episodes were here so what ya gonna do?

Coming to the final stretch here, one more season to go. I expect to breeze through this one since I've already done liveblog reactions to the whole of Season Four so I'll mostly be rambling meta about music and themes and character arcs and of course commenting on my favorite bits and pieces.

See y'all at the finish line!

[love-is-a-pearl]

Alright, I will be honest:

I don't like Black&White saga cause it feels like flopoed retcon/reboot of pokeanime. Like, in the beginning it cut ties to previous sagas and regions. Like, after whole THE BUILD UP in Sinnoh, it felt like Ash got robbed. Also doesn't help that in beginning they isolated Unova pokemon from previous generations. And the thing is, is that 5 gen pokemon design already stylistically different from previous ones: more round, simplified.

Also, it didn't help that relationship with rivals are less close and tense than in Diamond&Pearl. Like, all other characters beside main trio feels shallow and caricatures. In Sinnoh, both Ash and Dawn learned something from their rivals, Paul and Zoe were REALLY IMPACTFUL to them. But when we compare Iris and Dragon huntress (yes, I don't even remember her name)... That's basic. Like, Iris's rival surved as plot tool few times at best.

But second part of saga is better (*cough - cough * cause Cynthia and Dawn came back *cough- cough*) : old pokemon are back, we see mythical pokemon in action. Also, I enjoyed Decolora arc!

Good points of BW:

I like Cylan and Iris. For Iris in particular... She feels like Misty's other version, but in a good way. I also like her story arcs with her team, like damn, homegirl got her own Suicide squad in pokeworld 😂.

Also, there's Team R... One one hand, it's was hard for me to see them drop comedy tone. On another hand, they demonstrated us how much dangerous they can be! Like, they got their business! Our trio was more menacing than whole Team Plazma, honestly 😅.

All in all, my main issue is that Black and White drop most of connections with Diamond and Pearl. Like, transition was too DRASTIC. But I do understand, that there ate people who adores 5 gen. I mean, I heard that 5 gen games was top tier. It's just, unfortunately, I stsrted to dwell into pokemon games since 6 gen, so I was unable to even play Black and White. Maybe in that case I watched anime in different context.

Also, I really like movies in that saga! Like Keldeo and Mewtwo (or Newtwo ( if you know you know)) put everything in their movies, and Victini's one with TWO DIFFERENT VERSIONS was low-key something in cinematic universe level.

... That was looong ask, but I really need that out of my chest 😅

Nah, dont worry, go and vent its the first step to overcoming trauma lol I joke but seriously, if everyone sat down to understand what they dislike and like about a season like that, things would be so much simpler :v

BW is totally an attempt to a soft reboot! But there's one thing I feel folks often forget: The games themselves were that too!!

The lack of pokemon pre gen 5 was something that came from the games, as unova was the first region outside of Japan. Pokemon company was trying to start anew from all sides and that ended up affecting the anime the most because for some reason, it was decided that they would star anew, but keep a familiar face in Ash.

And then we have the fact that the BW games got a sequel immediately after, Black and White 2, and the story on those was directly connected to the first games, showcasing an Unova 2 years after BW1 (highly reccomend them btw, some of the best overarching story in pokemon games ever)

And like, the anime started with the narrator just saying Ash was still 10!! Someone surely made that a rule in the background, so how could they tell the story of a Unova 2 years later with a main character that just couldn't age?

So the writers just had to do their own thing. And probably made up so much of it halfway and also explain why they just scrapped so many characters of the day post league. They just wanted some time for people to forget the first half of BW to try and implement things from BW2.

And that's the thing, this issue is not from BW only. We know for a fact that there were plans for Ash to leave the anime during Johto, but they couldn't just say goodbye to him, so he stayed. Black and White was just the culmination of that decision. And I feel like hating on it alone is just… not aknowledging that pokeani is flawed from the get-go yknow?

What made BW that weird is what made Ash and Serena and the Kalos loss weird, what made journeys weird and what made 2beamaster miniseries that FUCKING WEIRD.

BUT GOSH TRIO!! Now the way those 3 were handled in the season is one thing I can't excuse lmao

People love to talk how out of character Ash acts this season, even though is not even that OOC when compared to pre DP, but TR were the ones that felt like complete different characters! And while I enjoy the whiplash of Ash gang doing silly things overlapped with very serious evil dutiestm, I feel like that that was a bad decision throught and throught. I get that at first they wanted a Team Rocket vs Team Plasma situation, but doing that with the TRio is just so weird.

HELL YEAH, I LOVE THE NEWTWO MOVIE! It makes no sense but gosh Mewtwo2 and genesect's relationship is just so ADORABLE i love them so much. Is those kind of stuff that makes me sad about BW, folks see a mewtwo that is not the main one and they dont give it a shot, but is such a heartwarming story in the end.

[dorizardthewizard]

Galactik Football season 3 rewatch, eps 7 - 9

Episode 7:

AGAIN they put the Shadows logo instead of the Pirates...

Well at least Mei is trying to be civil with D'jok and have a normal conversation

D'jok claiming he doesn't miss the Snow Kids >:(

I mean idk why they're tossing Mei up and down like that like, what are they celebrating XD

Aarch: We're far from ready for tonight's match, even against the Pirates!

DON'T SLANDER THEM LIKE THAT

Kinda rude they only show D'jok depressed over/ missing Mei. Surely he must miss the rest of the Snow Kids even if he won't show it? He literally ditched Mei in season 1 because Mice left, saying he's his only family apart from Maya, but now he just doesn't give a shit?

Did D'jok seriously just kiss Nikki-4 because he was reminded of Mei? Get this man some therapy

I mean idk why you're upset Mei you are literally dating Sinedd. Although I wouldn't blame her if she assumed D'jok was only doing it to get back at her

ngl I prefer Artegor's hype speeches haha

STEVENS IT'S MY BOY STEVENS!!!

What's with all the matches in season 3 having a goal being scored IN THE FIRST FEW SECONDS

GOOOOAL PIRAAAAAATES

Sorry I'm a Snow Kids supporter I swear

ooo they have Cyclops players in the Pirates team. The only chance for the Pirates to have a flux with them and be on the same level as the other teams, and they get the Cyclops. lol.

Wait, if the reason the Pirates couldn't use flux was because they're from different planets, then couldn't they use it now in this tournament? Or is it because they're all from Shiloh and it doesn't have a flux? I once read an idea somewhere that they didn't use flux because it can be tracked so they couldn't train with it, or maaaybe the Flux Society only let them play on the condition they don't use it, as their doings are a bit too opaque for their liking? Many questions.

I love Artie ditching his team to support Micro-Ice. Get you a hypeman like Artie, king shit <3

Corso kicking Artie out for potentially disturbing Sonny, they're so 💖 and in the next shot Corso is watching the TV anyway with his hands crossed like a dad LOL

YESSSS MICRO-ICE GOT TO SCORE THE FIRST GOAL! THAT'S MY SON!!!

This is me btw

Why didn't Artie just go to the stadium from the start?

I love Rocket's penalty (free?) kicks so much <3 I'm sorry I don't actually know anything about football <333

Aaand Rocket's out. You guys should really have more subs. Or like, ANY subs

Gimme some Lun-Zeara action :( Y'know, just like the Rykers match, the match doesn't have to be a total wipeout to show that the winning team is good. I want the Wambas to at least put up more of a fight against Paradisia I mean, their flux is just a discount Breath anyway

I love the Pirate's acrobatic style of play, you just know these guys are parkour experts with all their running away from Technoid

Oooo that goal attempt was by red hair dude, nice to see someone else on the Pirates team strike. Hc he's twins with the goalkeeper, but where tf did their names in the wiki come from and why are they all so basic. Tbf they probably wouldn't reveal their real names anyway

Just realised there has been like zero development for Lun-Zia in terms of integrating with the team. She's from a completely different planet, they could have done so much with this but she just... fits in just like that? I know that later there's some stuff about her wanting to stay with the SK and learn the Breath but... it just feels weird to have none of that development when she actually joins the team

GO TIA GOOOO

Hahaha, that's not how physics works. The net is a loose material! At least in the previous seasons you could see it still spinning against the net and stretching it to its limits before falling

I love Callie accidentally showing her bias sometimes

Lun-Zia just doing cartwheels to celebrate, cute

DAN DAN DAAAAANNN... CYBORGS! Although the plot kind of treats them more like androids in the sense that they're not “real” humans

> be me > girlfriend broke up with me by going to a different team > said ex girlfriend immediately gets with my nemesis > I leave for a new team, they're all hot girls and really strong players > turns out they're cyborgs > find out my dad is seriously injured and clinging on to life right after our first victory > they suspect the very coach I literally just started playing for > fml

Episode 8:

The Red Tigers?? When did they qualify???

Maddox why would you turn down the only chance of your team ever winning a match. Give them a flux player! Also, good feeling about the match?? Against the XENONS??? come on he can't be that naive

woah is that a new Technodroid theme song? Kinda slaps tbh

This match should be like 20-0 honestly

Fuck the Red Tigers <3 Warren, destroy them

SINCE WHEN DID THE RED TIGERS HAVE THE BREATH???

Warren is just as surprised as I am, although honestly I have no idea how this development didn't get out to the press sooner. This is also so thrown in, you'd think there'd be more discussion or reaction on there being two Akillian teams in this tournament??

oooo seeing Warren's teleporting from his perspective is pretty cool

I was about to rant that there's no way Warren would be troubled by the Red Tigers, flux or not, but ok fair he has the resonance because of Netherball. He only played in one match though, and all the Lightnings are good players, the team doesn't just suddenly suck because Warren's having a bad day

The Xenons have a Cyclops? Ok then, would've been too OP otherwise haha

Y'know I feel like they could have done more with this whole mixed flux thing, like found more creative ways for the team members to work together. So far, nothing would change if the tournament was still single flux, well except Lun-Zia

HOW THE FUCK DID THE TECHNODROIDS EVEN SCORE A GOAL? Keeper must have gotten bored and taken a nap, fair enough

I like Warren's dignified little clap with the audience haha, he's a true champion

Not the Red Tiger's captain pushing WARREN. This is why no one likes you guys

I'm not actually sure if that player is Woowamboo because I don't think they mention him by name, but I like to think they're bros! It's nice to see the new flux player get the spotlight and score a goal

Oooo teams we've never heard of before

I want to be at this beach party :( LOL even the Pirates are here

Rocket and Tia are so cute

Oh come on Lun-Zia you didn't really think you had a chance with Rocket? Wish they'd drop this drama and let Tia and Lun-Zia bond over something else. Last season Tia's arc also mostly revolved around Rocket so can we give her something else this time?

I like Zo-Leen just hanging with them now

STFU D'JOK WHAT DID MICRO-ICE EVER DO TO YOU??!!

Love how only some teams get the privilege of getting animated with casual clothes and not their football kits haha

Artie, after jumping an old guy that looks like Vega: we thought you were a woman!

NOT HELPING YOURSELF THERE DUDE

idk is Simbai really the only expert they can call? I mean I guess she might be renown in the field since she cured Aarch and Artegor of the Smog poisoning, but still. Aahh well since it's Sonny they probably don't have many options without alerting Technoid, that's gotta hurt

Episode 9:

Sinedd saying the Shadows will win bc they've always been a mixed flux team – I mean I guess mixed species but not flux as Sinedd had to learn the Smog. But also I'm gonna take the chance to give the Shadows points for inclusivity because they seemed to have no problem mixing the team up even before this tournament

I wonder if there was a taboo against that due to the flux wars not being that long ago, I mean the teams are already like our national football teams so most would only want to play for their planet, but it's gotta be even weirder if you switch teams and there are still tensions between your people. So this mixed flux tournament could have been a big political moment if the show explored that side more.

Ok the shading on the characters is bothering me, was it always so dark in the previous seasons? They look like they're always standing infront of a bright light.

Mark I really wouldn't trash talk Luur if I were you

Go Lun Zia!!

Guys do you think Luur would be popular with the monsterfuckers if Galactik Football were a more well known show. I mean look at his figure- (someone throws a grenade through my window)

D'JOK WHAT THE HELL, FOULING WARREN?! FUCKING WARREN YOUR IDOL WHO YOU HAVE NO BEEF WITH CURRENTLY???!!!! why are they making him do stuff like this just to drive home that he's being an ass and will learn from it like, people can be nuanced. You don't have to have him lash out at literally everyone he interacts with.

Warren: Real shame that football has come to this.

Ok this supports my theory from the Netherball episodes that Warren is obsessed with football and the integrity of the sport

YYYYESSSSS GOOOOOAL TIA SLAAYYYY!!!! SHE STEPS UUUPPP!!!

wow that match ended quickly, considering how hyped up the Xenons were in the last season. I mean they played them in the finals! I wonder if season 3 split the matches like that so they wouldn't have to animate as much lol

oh I just realised D'jok is no longer number 9, he's 6. So his number upside down, heh, symbolism

Roasted by Warren, oof. This is the guy that got SINEDD to behave and work with D'jok in the All-Stars game last season, he commands that much respect from the young players but now D'jok is just being a jerk to him for no reason.

Artegor telling Aarch to try more warmth and less doom and gloom, that's hilarious

D'jok you're really gonna reveal that Sonny is your father to THE GUY SUSPECTED OF TRYING TO KILL HIM? WHO CAN EASILY KILL YOU?? AND INFRONT OF THIS TEAM YOU'VE ONLY KNOWN A FEW DAYS?

Vega's spy suit kinda slays tbh

Not Aarch realising he needs more of a social life outside of football 😭

“Last one back is a Cyclops!” THRAN THAT'S RACIST

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE. FIRST MEI/D'JOK, THEN TIA/ROCKET, NOW FREAKING AARCH/ADIM HAVE A LOVE TRIANGLE PLOT? I know it's a misunderstanding but like, what the hell. The romance drama is so bad in this season and I have a pretty low tolerance for that compared to other things like plotholes and whatever

How the fuck did Micro-Ice hear them talking from underwater

OK I like that it's Micro-Ice who gets suspicious of Paradisia with all the weird stuff going on, cute he goes up to Tia about it and she's immediately down for some investigation work despite going on about how amazing the place is a few minutes ago.

[helluvabossrewrite45]

Always sunny anon replying: funny you mentioned Bojack being I believe Viv has said in the past on her twitter that she wants HB to be the next BH yet seems to not understand what makes a show like Bojack work to begin with. (I'll admit I haven't watched Bojack Horseman yet. I've been sleeping on it way to long tbh).

Yeah absolutely. Viv doesnt seem to get that bojack worked in not only in its ability to make people like bojack while not excusing his actions, but also how its structured as 'comedy turned drama'.

(major spoilers for bojack horseman btw, you can just skip to the end/the last paragraph of this post)

Now in bojack's first season, it was a comedy pretty early and stayed that way till later down the season and it continued to grow naturally to a drama (though the comedy is still there of course). Helluva boss though, seems to be all over the place as just after episode 1, episode 2 takes a more serious/dramatic approach when the show is meant to appear at first to be a dark humoured comedy, along with most of the season not even sticking to its original premise, instead focusing more of set ups and stolitz drama that both didnt go much of anywhere (striker might be an exception though i feel like the end with him could be another set up). What wouldve worked is that episode 1 - 4 is entirely on the original premise for helluva boss and the rest would be more serious (with strikers introduction, the agents and stolitz drama) with season 2 continuing the more serious approach. Hell, if their gonna include stolas family drama, why not portray it as comedy at first, then use it later on to portray it more seriously. Like in season 1 of bojack where he and sarah lynn slept with each other, its being treated as comedic. But when he revealed that he slept with her in the interview, its being treated completely seriously and use it to highlight bojacks problem from him with young women and his issues with accountability, episode 2 could portray the cheating as comedic (with stella throwing objects while rambling while stolas dodges them like a dodgeball game with octavia initially being presented as the typical 'lonely stuck in the mud teenager' but we still get hints of her being more than that later down the episode) and while it ends on them leaving the festival in an awkward comedic way, that would used in seeing stars where octavia vents about her family drama, including on how neglectful stolas has become as a father from the festival incident. Im kinda surprised viv didnt consider to use it because it would be a perfect tool for helluva boss to use.

Another reason why bojack worked compared to helluva boss is its characters. While bojack was written well, the rest of the characters (especially women) shine through and we get to see more of who they are overtime. We dont really get much on that with helluva (especially the women), sure we get their backstories though we dont really have much depth if that make sense. Like when we compare todd to moxxie, todd's deal is that he's extremely helpful and he actually have stuff going on for him, its only bojack thats holding him back so when he finally distance himself from bojack, not only is it consistent but its also not repetitive, instead we get to know more about todd, seeing his relationships, discovering his asexuality etc...hell, he even has his own episode where he learn to make time for himself too instead of always helping out everyone. Moxxie has an arc of overcoming his weakness but the thing is, it repeats the same arc that it can get tiring to watch. What would work for him is that he slowly develops him overcoming his weakness instead of it just being repeated (like maybe further snapping at blitzo or confess that he considers quitting) Its a real shame too because him being close to morally good than morally grey or bad (which i predict thats what most of hells beings would be) opens a gate to a lot of possibilities for him as a character like why he took the job, how he met his wife, how he views the world around him etc...but they clearly didnt know what to do with him especially when season 1 wasnt even properly planned (as viv literally admits this on twitter too) so its why he as a character feels stagnant. But a bigger comparison however, has to be the women in the shows. People tend to praise the show for how it writes its women characters, often from diane and princess caroline. They're shown to be as messy and complex as men like bojack in the show though other women characters had their time to shine like hollyhock, kelley, gina, penny, bojack's mother etc...Its clear that bojack writes both men and women well in the show. Helluva boss on the other hand, is quite unbalanced in its writing for men and women. Specifically with the men having more variety and generall knowledge about them than the women. Like millie and loona, despite being major characters, have very little depth especially with millie who wouldnt even be a character if we remove her from moxxie. And even with the other women characters, they dont have much depth either (or at last we dont get to see that depth often like with verosika), they all in some way are in the roles for men characters (octavia and loona being there to establish the good in stolas and blitzo or stella and verosika being there to establish to either be the villain or to show a part of the man's past) Its very clear that viv favours men characters than women as alastor and angel dust having more going on than charlie, the main character herself. I mean, both shows are technically character driven and to be character driven, your gonna have to make sure your characters can equally shine on their own instead of one having more depth than the other.

To put it shortly, i dont think viv really gets why bojack was successful to audiences to begin with and in turn, failed to achieve that success with it being how she structures her show for the 'comedy turned drama' style being all over the place when bojacks was of natural progress and her imbalanced/poorly planned writing of men and women characters where it wasn't an issue in BoJack

[dangermousie]

Farscape rewatch: Liars Guns and Money - 2x19-2x21 - meta part the first...

Liars, Guns and Money is my second favorite multiparter in all of Farscape, behind only We Are Screwed in season 4. Interestingly, they both involve Crichton on the ragged edge of sanity and a rescue of one member of the OTP by the other, willing to do anything it takes. 

In LGM it's Aeryn willing to do anything (including offering anything (by implication herself)) to get Crais to help to rescue John. In WASS it's John selling his soul to Scorpius. And of course, the insanity in LGM is literal but in WASS it's because John derails utterly when Aeryn is in danger. Before I get to character interactions, I want to mention how much I love the set design for these eps. The gorgeous golds and deep reds, and misty greys? 

Crichton has a huge self-sacrificial complex. When Scorpius offers to give back D'Argo's son in exchange for Crichton, he has no idea how effective a carrot he is dangling in front of John (and Scorpius never truly learns, does he, perhaps because he’s hampered by the fact that he’d sacrifice himself for nobody. He is hoping for D’Argo to turn John over, he’s not thinking Crichton would do it himself.) 

It's Crichton's own private way of self-destructing. He is, in a lot of ways, walking with so much guilt (because he cannot reconcile what he had become with his inner moral compass of his upbringing) and in a way the only value he sees is as 'victim' to other. Part of the reason he latches on to Aeryn so desperately is because of that same sense of guilt and nullity. She is his one link to sanity: I love the scene in the depository where he is completely losing it and he grabs her and desperately kisses her, as if she is his long drink of water, as if doing so clears his head. 

And he tries to tell her about his feelings but also about Scorpius, and he’s falling apart so hard and it’s painful to watch.

This is so Aeryn btw...and so John.

It’s actually a funny exchange that turns heartbreaking later on, as so many Farscape jokes tend to, when she really is ready to kill him later if that is the best outcome:

And even more horrifyingly, John actually ends up begging to be killed at the end of the three parter, something he was trying to avoid becoming the most he is hoping for and still beyond him:

https://dangermousie.tumblr.com/post/723680562432376832/still-sorting-through-my-million-caps-and-thoughts

I love how his love for Aeryn helps him navigate both trauma and insanity. In practical ways - like when he cannot coat Scorpius’ rods with explosives because the chip is fighting him, she does it for him but also in more intangible ways. Aeryn is the only one who is important enough to get through (of course when, as in DMD, even she finally cannot, that is when tragedy occurs). And that is true in later seasons, no matter how obsessed or catatonically destroyed he becomes (I am thinking of the end of PKW when it's Aeryn and his child who bring him out). Oh, and that scene when he desperately and incoherently wants to tell her how he feels. Because he can feel his inner self slipping and it feels as if it's almost the last chance. And she tells him he doesn't have to say it and his face where this is no comfort but a disappointment because he wanted to so badly. 

And the end of that part 1, kills me...when he tells her, so quietly and stumblingly, sounding so incredibly vulnerable 'I meant what I said...didn't say' (and he’s not even trying to say what it is, he’s beyond that) and she says she knows and it’s gentle and he is actually at peace with that now because this time he can process that she really does know. And she pulls his head down and puts it on her shoulder (this is such a their thing, he did it to her earlier; and I can’t tell you how much I needed the scene have that moment of touch-comfort at that moment). He is this beautiful broken thing, so far from what he started as but for a brief moment at peace.