#she’s never left my side
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#ive been very lucky in that the last family member i remember passing away was when i was like 6#like i’ve never really known any of them since#but my cat is dying from a really aggressive form of cancer#and probably only has a month at most#and now i’m having to go through this with my best friend#we got her right before christmas in 2015#or maybe 14#because our cat went missing and a man reached out thinking she was her#and she very clearly wasn’t#but the guy couldn’t take care of her so we took her home because we could#and she’s been my best friend basically since then#she’s always been there for me through the worst years of my life#she’s never left my side#when we took her home that first day she peed on me in the car lol#she still doesn’t like leaving the house#even though she used to beg outside of a gas station before us#and last night on the way to the hospital she peed on me again#so i guess it’s full circle in that way lol#idk what to do#we can’t see her until tomorrow#so i just have to sit here and act like my best friend isn’t dying#delete later#yap yap yapping#you don’t need to reach out or respond or anything i just. need to vent and i’ve exhausted everywhere else and i feel bad messaging friends
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i think dinostar is such an interesting ship right now even if i've kind of turned away from it after this season. the problem is that it's complicated, and fandoms historically don't like nuanced situations or takes. i don't think it's fair to say darius is putting brooklynn on a pedestal, since from his perspective, she hasn't done anything wrong, and kenji has been framed as this unfair partner to her. it does feel like his feelings are very immature and more of an infatuation right now ("if he loved you half as much.."/"unless?"), especially when you compare them to kenji's own feelings for brooklynn - his girlfriend who he's loved for 6 years - but that isn't a horrible thing, it's just different. i do completely understand if people dislike the ship right now, and even criticize darius' way of handling the accidental confession, but i just think people have been way too harsh on all three of them without being willing to see that all of their perspectives are different
#like darius' whole thing this season was his tendency to say or do the wrong thing and make things awkward by complete accident#he's a very awkward person as it is and considering he's also never dealt with romantic feelings before and he didn't even mean to tell her#about them it makes sense that he once again said and did the wrong things while trying to fix it#i'm not going to judge his characterization just yet until we see how he handles his own feelings vs kenji's next season after finding out#she's alive#he was still respectful of her and i doubt after learning more of kenji's side and realizing this man genuinely does still love and miss he#that he would prioritize pursuing her romantically(especially since she already yk.. rejected him and also literally just left them all)#if anything i think the finale putting his feelings about her survival to the side and focusing on how it hurt kenji to see her alive and#leave him kind of indicates that brooklynn's not really going to be much of a love interest for darius after this#which imo as a dinostar enjoyer and professional darius lover i'm actually okay with#slightly off topic but season 2 has made me really appreciate kenlynn on its own because of how tragic and nuanced it is#so i think focusing on them instead is not only a better decision in terms of consistency and storytelling but it's just the more realistic#and satisfying choice right now#and that's not to say i think they'll be perfectly fine or even together again once they're reunited properly#in fact i very much hope she ends up alone and they all get closure from this#and there's always the possibility that later on the show might actually revisit dinostar again#which would be better than them trying to do so now in my opinion#idk this is probably a mess but i've been trying to think about how i felt about this love triangle for awhile and since s2 handled it#completely differently than i thought they would. i feel like it's not going to be that simple#and i just wish fans of all sides would kind of chill out on the characters lmao#jwct#chaos theory#jwct s2 spoilers#brooklynn jwct#jwct season 2 spoilers#dinostar#kenlynn#kenji kon#darius bowman#jurassic world
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yeah i do think it’s interesting how the guy who plays a character who kills abusers had one on his podcast and then was like hehehe frankcastlecore Bro The Character You Play Would Shoot You Too
#and then has the nerve to put his shit under the frank tag like u missed the entire point#i hate j/n bernthal so much zionist pos#and if u don’t know what im talking about good#edit: consider urself lucky and know im about to ruin ur day#bc i personally feel absolutely disgusted that this man not only platformed an IDF ‘soldier’#TW ABUSE#🚨🚨🚨#but also sat next to a man who kept a loaded gun next to the bed and said he’d use it on fka twigs if she left him#like SL head butted karolyn pho so badly she bled#i can’t imagine sitting down next to someone that admitted they were an abuser and has an entire lawsuit for it#and being like ‘so what’s your side of the story? tell us about it’ while obv never having his victims on#JB loves platforming abusers and it makes me sick#my only solace is that frank would hate him#jon bernthal#the punisher#frank castle#bun.txt
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I was having fun then this happened
#baldur's gate 3#bg 3#bg 3 critical#larian critical#sarevok anchev#viconia devir#i was having a good time then that#why#you know the worst part?#this game is great#and then there's THAT#like a grade a student handing you the worst essay you ever read out of nowhere#what happened#they didn't need to be included at all#they picked the most grey characters and turned them into cliches#and that quest where orin mocks the fives#like baby girl you killed a dragoborn&a tall guy that's cute#where's the actual dragon and fire giant#you know to be accurate#and making viconia do the EXACT thing she left the cult of lolth for#making her subserviant to a god#when she questionned lolth's faith in the first place#it's not even side quest#i can't just never do them again#it's the main quest and a companion quest#i can't even ignore them in my next playthrough#and amelyssan#gods amelyssan#what did they do to you you
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Ghoulia
drawing mh requests again because life got busy right after i asked for em
i may like g3 but ghoulia is not included in that :] g1 ghoulia is so much better
#digital art#redesign#fanart#monster high#ghoulia yelps#scene fashion#side note im like 99% sure somebody traced or copied my ghoulia design (from my 2022 mh redesigns) like a little bit after i posted them#so that was weird#some of this other designs at the time had elements a little too similar to my redesigns too#but like i just kinda left it because it wasnt a big deal#but thats the first time ive ever had that happen to me#my art#i never draw ghoulia very decomposed because i like to think they became a zombie very shortly after dying#(yes canonically she was born a zombie and no i dont care about that fact)
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there's an entire temple dedicated to the maintenance of the seasons in holodrum and protecting the rod of seasons and its four spirits. meanwhile nayru is just keeping the harp of ages in her basement
#legend of zelda#random stuff#oracle of seasons#oracle of ages#I'm replaying the oracle games right now#humans could make a temple dedicated to the easily understood cycle of seasons (which are kind of supernatural in this game)#time is only understood by the hippie singer who lives in the woods and is important enough to have a triforce barrier protecting her home#dude. oracle of ages is so much more grim than seasons#people in ages are like 'my husband left to go work on the evil tower. I'm never going to see him again'#a city got destroyed by an eruption in ages and you need to go back in time to save it#some kid got turned to stone and his grandma won't leave his side#meanwhile in seasons sure a city got flooded because of icecaps melting but everyone is ok. nobody needed to evacuate#there is silly music playing in the bg. and a legendary diver guy who lives there#despite the little girl with no parents to speak of stranded at the entrance eternally blowing bubbles because she can't swim#and the fact that there's a monster fortress right outside town preventing anyone from evacuating#I mean. despite the flooding the game makes it seem like the city was always 90% water
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speaking of spiders Google.com why is my small baby tarantula being a freak
#She (I have defaulted to she pronouns it is still too young to be sexed) was climbed up onto the side of her vial this morning.#um. Babe. You are a burrowing spider. You are not arboreal. You have a burrow already.#up until this point you have enjoyed your burrow.#why are u on wall.#Is it because of the molt. You left your molt in your burrow and can’t get it out. So now you’re mad about it.#Idk. Tarantula forum is not giving me many answers that would make sense w/ her environment#I will ask my prof tomorrow to get her opinion on why she’s suddenly decided to be arboreal#it could be nothing. I dunno. I’ve never owned a tarantula. Let alone a baby.#But I see change in behavior and usually that means Something. So . Spider prof gets questions tomorrow#clamtalk#bugposting
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crick is a few years older than isaiah... what if he had very faint i was a little boy memories of isaiahs mom before she died oxo
#thinking sooo hard about it#really a blind leading the blind moment#they get along well honestly. crick enables isaiahs sadboy side where he just wants to mope about bad stuff in his life#and isaiah enables crick to actually get it out of his system because hes very active (destructive) about negative expression#isaiah isnt a crier hes a breaker. crick is a sogggggggggy drinker who just cries all day abt it#so theyre very cathartic left to their own devices#i think crick being like thank god my mom drove my dad off. hed probably be like your dad if he was still around#and isaiah goes i wish my mom was around to do that... and getting soggy about not having ever gotten to know her#so crick dredges up the faintst foggiest memories of knowing her before she died and isaiahs RAPT just RAPT#and it makes crick cry bc hes SUCH a mamas boy the idea of losting cathy like that makes him blubber#so they just blubber about it together#thats their whole dynamic LOL#its why they only ever let themselves be alone 1ce and they went on a wholeass sadboy road trip about it#then did NOT stay in touch after#bc its not. a very healthy friendship all things considered#its really great when hunter first leaves tho bc crick is the ONLY person who gets it. what isaiahs feeling#bc he and hunter werent together but he LOOOOVED him and crick had the same thing happen w d.alex when he left for college#and never ever came back. ever. he left for good the moment he got a foot out#ofc that comes around to isaiah and hunter absolutely end up together and crick and d.alex Do Not. dave never felt that way abt him so#but its for the best#cricks husband is VERY good for him. gideon is no nonsense and doesnt have time for moping#he whips crick into shape as his lil househusband instead LOL
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when you think about it clive and flora are actually perfect narrative foils on complete accident. like what's up with that. professor layton and the completely imagined literary devices
#what did they talk about when they were alone for that one segment of uf . . . humming#i'm sure this post has been made before by someone more eloquent but i don't shut up. ❤️❤️❤️#it's like the fact that they both lose their parents at a young age#both are succeeded by a large fortune#both are incredibly insurmountably lonely in a way they are not equipped to deal with#both develop poor coping mechanisms (though one notably more poor than the other . . . el oh el)#both develop a one-sided codependence on layton (or rather. more like the Idea of him. the concept he represents)#they also both spend a lot of screentime poorly disguised god bless ❤️#flora just seems to shrink inward while clive. Well#flora is seemingly willing to accept any type of mistreatment so long as she's told she won't be left alone again#whether because she can't bear the alternative or if she genuinely believes them every time is debatable#she's fine with being temporarily abandoned because she is used to it. as long as she's kept around some of the time she's fine#but clive internalizes every slight and files it away in some increasingly grandiose and frankly childish revenge fantasy#on a small handful of people that HAVE wronged him and a couple hundred thousand that never will#everything he sees is taken as proof of a worldview he doesn't even seem to necessarily hold himself#that at the end of the day is simply a manifestation of a seeping debilitating loneliness#they both have people that care for them. but not really in the type of way they need or want#i have more to say but . . . alas. not intelligent enough for it#my point: both of these characters ard the same coincidence? i think not. Transgender;#t#professor layton
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So..... the new trailer huh----
#IM SO PUMPED FOR OCTOBER 20 YALL HAVE NO IDEA#CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE FUCKED UP BLORBOS GO AT EACH OTHER#theyyyyyyyyyyyyyy#she never left his side (she CAN'T EVER leave his side!!!!!!!!!!)#slay the princess#tw blood#my art
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sometimes i really don't think we've fully absorbed the realization that humans are animals. we keep trying to find new and spectacular ways to delineate between us and them, even as we try to deconstruct the beliefs of past western science
first we were put above other animals, who in the name of science were declared nothing more than organic automatons devoid of personality. today we know this isn't true, that every animal is the culmination of billions of years of chance and choices, and then a lifetime of experience to fine tune the rest.
so the discussion moved to the question: why are we different? breaking ourselves down to try to separate out the True Human Experience. we have tools--but so do other animals. we build homes and cities--likes termites and coral. we are intelligent--but then, what even is intelligence? we have culture--and yet again, so do other animals.
so we venture in vain to other traits. humans must be uniquely violent, destructive, upheaving the ecosystems of the world in a way no other creature has
but hundreds of millions of years ago, photosynthesis evolved and spurred one of the worst extinctions earth has ever seen. a species can encounter a new habitat and spread like wildfire, sometimes as destructive as one as well.
so surely our systems and our hierarchies set us apart in their depth and complexity. but it's myopic, naive even to think that other creatures don't form their own complexities outside our purview. we see our complexity because we are born and raised in it, but it's hardly what makes us different.
and in this journey to find out what makes us so different, instead we've found out the many ways that we are similar. the way our brains are similar to those of other mammals, how our bodies are all stretched out from the same general base tweaked and formed over an inconceivable number of generations. how the further we trace ourselves back, the more and more animals we share ancestors with.
i don't know where I'm going with all this. i think im frustrated with our medicine, how so much of it is grounded not in biology but in our own culture.
when we see a human not performing well, we call them lazy. when it's an animal, then something must be wrong. we understand the physiology of other animals and treat them within those bounds, yet despite what we know about the human body the way we discuss it seems frustrstingly disconnected.
maybe it's because we can talk to each other and so we assume that we can verbalize the problems we're experiencing, but language is a dismal thing to base healthcare on when most of us don't even use the same words to describe things. it's a subjective, moving target, and it assumes that the patient themself knows what's wrong. we rely too much on the ability of a patient to describe what they are experiencing, and not enough on observations of their behaviour.
my dad's shoulder hurts. he dislocated it a while ago, and it never stopped bothering him. but when i watch him he holds both shoulders forward and tense. slouching has for a long time been deemed lazy and improper, but it doesn't line up--the way my father strives for a healthy, active body but can never seem to make it work. the way he loves to be active, the way he wants to exercise, to walk and run, but it seems no matter how hard he tries he can't.
he told me his shoulder hurts, but the more i watched the more i saw that he doesn't move with the relaxed, easy movements that a man who's as active as he is should be. a human is an animal that loves to walk, and in many ways we've developed anatomy to this end, from the balanced efficiency of our bipedal forms to the way we utilize momentum as the driving force of our movement. we have science that says all this, so why does this not seem to hold true for some people? and why are we looking at them and calling them lazy? why aren't we looking for something gone awry, like the way we would a dog with a limp? we wouldn't blame the dog for not standing up the way a dog should, so why does this not hold true for humans?
#my first doctor never once examined me. maybe she never even looked at me#the first chiropractor i saw told me that i pronate my feet and it affects the rest of me#but maybe he assumed that i was just a silly kid who stood wrong#who simply needed to put a little more effort into standing right#my more recent chiropractor told me that my left side was compensating for my right side. she never helped me figure out why.#even my best physiotherapists only ever deemed to tell me what i was doing wrong.#no one ever took into account the things that i knew and didn't know. no one ever thought to ask why someone would walk this way#if it causes so much pain down the road#my current doctor is patient. he has the courtesy to believe me. he gives me room to do my own research#he puts effort into helping solve the mystery. even if he didn't know the answer he helped me search for the source#he asks questions and helps me dig into the things my own research has found#i think maybe he'd even do more research himself if he had the time. but doctors are short in this city
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I feel like I’m falling in love with Jaiden all over again. Shoutout to the ones who were there in her animations days! But also a huge welcome to all the new fans of her new content. Like it is unbelievable that a childhood hero is still reaching new audiences and people, I am so happy.
#qsmp#qsmp Jaiden#jaiden animations#I’ve been a fan of her since like 2015#she was honestly my idol and I wanted to be just like her#her videos also held a special place in my heart as it was a locked part of my life where I truly started to learn and grow#I remember watching her videos with my friends and holding up my crush’s phone with their hand on the other side while we watched her videos#she is a huge inspiration and my love of her animations never left me#but then I fell in love with her all over again with her Pokémon videos and gaming videos#but it all came to a head when I yet again fell in love with the qsmp#she is so wonderful and amazing and I am so happy that she is still active and here#her being given these opportunities and still accumulating new fans is honestly inspiring#I hope she continues to make content that shifts into what is her at the time#I loved every phase to get us to here
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Also, I'm gonna say it. I'm glad my girl had a sexually fulfilling 6-year relationship. I love that for her.
#it was just a “fling” after all#and she can do the fuck she pleases#not being butthurt that she had another relationship doesnt make me less of a fan#and im glad she continued to have a fulfilling friendship with him after she left him#im glad she snuggled with him on the sofa and drank wine#daryl wasnt making a move on her so whats a girl to do#let her live man#“that was never our problem” was a canon line#and “theres a side to carol thats in the gutter” is a direct melissa quote#i like to think of carol as sexually fulfilled and thats my right#thank you i will be continuing to think and talk about her as such#gatekeeping carol's sexuality is not a nice thing to do#shes a lady of high calibre#carol peletier
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#my mom really has a thing for siding with people who have in some ways hurt me???????????#1st the cousin who should never be named. and now... remember the one who was my best friend?#and left the country without telling me and I had to find out because her brother told my mom?#(weeks after my mom told me she was not my best friend actually? this is another drama omg)#well girl just showed up in my place and now I can't leave my room until she leaves. because I refuse to talk to her#but my mom suddenly loves her (she didn't love her before. she couldn't stand her even) and won't let her go#mother of the century right?#really want to know who the hell I was in a previous life because I was punished in this one by 1) being born in this country#2) having this mother. holy shit I must have been a serious monster#random#personal#my shitty English#all of this with a headache. woohoo!
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sometimes i remember the hunger games and how nobody actually paid attention to what was in those books
#americans close your eyes and ears right now#i'm well aware that my political takes are way too spicy for you all#and i really do wish my media diet didn't contain so much us-centric shit#but alas we're all suffering here#and i could say that 'oh actually it does matter who your president is for us in the world'#but it doesn't. it really fucking doesn't. that's kind of the point.#oh i'm sorry my spicy takes are already starting#anyway it is wild that you all can understand katniss assassinating coin at the end of mockingjay#but get super upsetty that chappell roan won't support your favorite presidential candidate with her full chest#like come on none of you actually thought that her using the phrase both sides meant that she was a republican or even a centrist#that's just copium#you all knew exactly what she meant#but i guess encouraging people to think critically and get involved with their local elections and politics as well is... bad now?#also... why do you all care so much about a random pop star's opinion and whether or not she dares to criticize a government#like... she's right but i'm sure 5 years from now if she survives in the limelight her edges will be completely chipped away#by all this insane reaction#and before anyone comes for me... no i'm not saying you shouldn't vote. please fucking do.#neither am i saying you shouldn't vote strategically or encourage other people to do so#but if all your energy is spent policing people who criticize your chosen party because of their own principles#then there's something seriously wrong with your politics#and all you're signalling is that you truly do not fucking care about the issues that they care about#if anything..... you RESENT them#and then the same people bring up the parable of the 'unjust man'#or how it's never the right time to talk about gun violence in your country#harm reduction is all good and based but attacking people who are leveraging their support to push your party left#is not. it's not even fucking helpful#anyway. don't base your lives and politics around pop stars.#even if they are more based than you 🤷#i think i'm done now thank you tumblr for letting me have insane rants in my tags that hopefully no one reads#idk i just find this all depressing. i wish you all cared more about the world outside of your bubble. i wish we all did - myself included.
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My madoka magica hot take is I like sayaka/kyoko as a ship more than madoka/homura
#madoka magica#both ships are very very good and make me feral but god kyoko/sayaka really caters to me#i am biased cuz sayaka is my favorite character lol and i just want good things for her#but i mean we get them as enemies fighting to the death obsessively like sayaka gets so focused on proving herself to kyoko she cant think#of anything else and she wastes her energy fighting her instead of witches and just the foil like#both used their wish to grant something for someone else and kyoko lost everything as a result and decided that nothing good will ever come#of helping others so she should only look after number one and of course shed think that cuz shes all she has left#meanwhile sayaka refuses to take care of herself because she never wants others to suffer so she only exists for others#and both of them change their perspectives in pursuit of each other theyre literally red and blue#and i love seeing the development of their relationship and kyokos feelings i love her offering to kill ryosuke for sayaka#and how terrified she is in that moment when she sees sayakas lifeless body separated from the soul gem#or how she shares her story and remembers why she started fighting because of sayaka and fucking#THE WAY SHE ACTS SELFLESSLY AND STUPIDLY OPTIMISTIC TO SAVE SAYAKA FROM HER WITCH FOR#THE WAY SHE SACRIFICES HERSELF TO CONNECT WITH HER THE LOVE SONG#THEM HOLDING HANDS WHILE SAYAKA CRIES AND KYOKO IS THERE FOR HER AND THEY UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER SO WELL#god fucking dammit these fucking gay people are ruining my sleep#yeah idk if its obvious but i have a specific type when it comes to ships i love when characters beat each other up and are the center of#each others motivations and go through the horrors together and come out the other side and love each other deeply#love each others flaws and theres understanding and tenderness#i haaaave to draw them but i also have to draw a lot of blorbos rn alkksk
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