#she would Detest it. but
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the difference between narumi and hoshina when it comes to mina is so funny in my brain. rambles in tags yes it’s shippy
#egg boils#narumi who would tell her to get in the space of his coat and lean against him when it’s cold because he REFUSES to just give her his coat#vs hoshina who would probably let himself freeze to death and give up his coat to her without question. one sneeze and hoshina is letting#himself brace the cold weather in his turtleneck#narumi: if u have a problem with this arrangement u can get out 👉#mina: shut up#she huddles into his warmth anyway because japan winters r crazy.#vs hoshina: here u go he would say as he drapes it over her and she’s so startled like her fling w narumi when she was 23 vs her Thing now#with hoshina when she’s 27 . A#she’d look back fondly on narumi’s antics though. long rides on his motorbike. his frown as he helps her weed her family home’s front lawn#his look of annoyance as he tells her to move and let him do the cutting of vegetables for his mum to use for dinner. the way he looks so#so happy when he eats her mums home cooked meal. the way he curls up against bakko as he games in her apartment#oh . i love narumina so bad.#sorry and yeah hoshimina well we already know. devotion. so much of it. you’d think it’s one sided from hoshina but no mina Loves hoshina#and appreciates him bc he keeps up with her has never backed down from whatever challenge she throws at him a#ashiro mina i will ensure u r so so loved when there’s a nagging absence in ur heart. Do not worry.#for Her mum* to use for dinner my brains been jumbling words lately#narumina#hoshimina#i just think it’s so important to me that mina Would undeniably in my universe find herself attracted to narumi#she would Detest it. but#it happens anyway. so naturally. one day she’s sparring with him and the next . perhaps during a shared training where they fight together#where he yells at her to shoot the honju because he’s already cleared the path for her HAVE SOME FAITH IN HIM. does she think. Oh.
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Homer!Odysseus and Epic!Odysseus would try to kill each other if they ever met
#Homer!Odysseus: you sacrificed your men to save yourself? Detestable coward! How I wish I was never born if it would ensure you had not the#Epic!Odysseus: you’d understand if you *loved your wife.* But I guess a guy who stayed with Circe for a year wouldn’t know that!#H!Odysseus: do not speak of things you know nothing about! I long for my return to sweet Penelope but I have a duty to my men#E!Odysseus: A YEAR. A WHOLE YEAR. I WOULD KILL ANYTHING AND ANYONE TO GET A HOME A YEAR FASTER#H!Odysseus: that was clear when you served Scylla six men like they were cattle!#E!Odysseus: it was them or me! And don’t keep talking about my friends like you did any better. you’ll go home alone too#H!Odysseus: they doomed themselves when they ate Hyperion’s golden cattle. I am not responsible for their suffering. But you could have ens#H!Odysseus: Now Eurylochus’s body lies at the bottom of the sea where there can be no burial and no honour#E!Odysseus: AND I’LL GO HOME TO MY WIFE. MY BEAUTIFUL PERFECT LOVELY LOYAL WIFE WHO’S BEEN WAITING FOR ME FOR TWENTY YEARS.#E!Odysseus: and when I go home and she asks if I came back as fast as I could I’ll be able to answer honestly#H!Odysseus: WE HAD BEEN THROUGH MANY TRIALS. THE MEN NEEDED TO REST#E!Odysseus: FOR A YEAR???? DID THEY NEED TO REST FOR A YEAR??? AND DID THEY NEED THAT REST RIGHT AFTER A MONTH’S LONG REST WITH AEOLUS??? S#H!Odysseus: IF YOU WISHED FOR ITHACA SO DESPERATELY WHY DIDN’T YOU OBEY PALLAS ATHENA AND KILL THE CYCLOPS#E!Odysseus: *drawing sword* I WAS HAVING A ROUGH DAY#Epic the musical#Epic odysseus#The odyssey#odysseus#Homer#Greek mythology#Jorge rivera-herrans#nuclear war speaks
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went to bed and woke up in a cold sweat realizing that claudia's play, the birdie one, is both a direct analogy for her story and also foreshadowing of her death WHILE ALSO nodding to pauls death
claudia'a single minded, desperate drive for freedom eventually lead her directly to her death. she was "nailed down" by lestat (by LOUIS, actually- lestat only kept her for him.), and tore herself free at the loss of her 'foot,' being a stand in for the personal pain she suffered for freedom
no matter what she or anyone did, she was going to die painfully, because she was so desperate to be free that everything was suffocating. lestat, louis, romania, the coven. the only thing that didnt rot in her mind was madeline, because... there simply wasnt time. madeline was fresh and new and, given time, would have probably suffered the same heel-turn claudia gave to everything.
of course thats because she shared louis' hopeful outlook. being free of her parents? would fix everything. when it didn't? maybe if she had louis, it would be worth it. but its not, lestats still here, louis is still in love with him... killing lestat, thatll fix it, and she and louis will be happy in romania, right, the homeland for vampirekind? not quite, so better try paris, the city of love. that doesnt work. the coven, though, will give her what she wants, right? she'll be happy with other vampires?
the only person who makes her happy is? a modern version of lestat? a weird white woman she met on happenstance, who has little to no care for societal norms or faux pas. a blunt, kind of funny, kind of sad woman who lost her family but has a capacity for enduring because what else is she going to do? die? no, she cant do that. she had no friends because she was weird and offputting and had dangerous rumors, no hangups on loving claudia, no hangups on dying or being a killer.
that's... just lestat. without the immortality and the specific traumas, of course, but like. claudia's most beloved person was a funhouse mirror of her most hated. which really speaks volumes for what they could have had, because it wasnt just a clash of personalities. it was lestats bpd clashing with hers and both of their attachment to louis clashing. if lestat had been better at sharing, if louis had been better at loving both of them, if claudia had been less angry at the world for nothing but existing? maybe they could have been a good family. a happy one forever, just like they all wanted, but were unable to give each other
#love.claudia#like im casting spells on people. love claudia#thats a command#claudia de lioncourt#claudia de pointe du lac#tagging both since she would like to be a dpdl but in truth she is a lioncourt#lestat also taught her way more than louis did and i think louis resented lestat for it#les taught her to hunt and feed and protect herself#he taught her chess and piano#which for all her underhanded insults about it#beyond having more experience#theres not much you can teach about chess#taken from someone whos dad LOVES chess and keeps trying to play it with me#outside of the pieces and the strategies theres not much you can teach#because it all depends on who your other player is. claudia losing to him isnt a matter of him teaching her poorly on purpose but more#he knows her better than she knows him#which is also true#but louis detested all the things lestat taught claudia#even smugly rubbing her “docility” in lestats face when she struggles on her first kill#lestat could have been a good dad if he knew she loved him and louis still loved him. lestat loved her and taught her#louis just showered her in gifts and affection and support (which she also needed!! dont get me wrong!)#sigh#lestat de lioncourt#amc iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#louis treated her like a kid when she needed to be an adult and lestat treated her like an adult when she needed to be a kid
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rip roronoa zoro you would've loved toph beifong
#rip zoro because toph is too competent to die#ily zoro but you're not Her#she'd get on his case so bad about the direction thing#green. thats it that's tje dynamic.#realistically zoro would be one of the few people to respect toph straight off the bat#i like to think kuina would've ended up with a toph-like attitude if she lived#she deserves the unadulterated self-confidence and snarky attitude#conversely i just know toph would DETEST sanji at first but he'd grow on her eventually#roronoa zoro#one piece#straw hat pirates#zoro#toph beifong#atla
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f Narrator wanting to murder maim mutilate m marla.. or marla/ male marla and narrator/f narrator worsties/besties. or marla/male marla and tyler… or anything with marla/ male marla..
Marlon called me, interrupted me at work, and he said he had a bruise. He said I needed to come and look at it right away, because he needed to know.
This was him, asking me, pounded flank steak, to look and tell him the nature of his bruise.
Marlon hasn't had health insurance in years, so he tries not to think about it, usually. It's easy, since there's no difference when you have health insurance. It's old hat.
But today, he thought about it.
And he noticed a bruise.
So I'm walking up to the Regent hotel after work, and he's in the lobby in his limp little tank top. He'd call it a wifebeater and imagine himself in place of the wife, I'm sure. I wonder if he isn't cold all the time. Mr. Marlon Singer, such a masochist just so he can show off his skeletal body with all the cigarette burns I have to hear him and Tyler laughing over.
I am Jane's abnormal hemorrhoid development.
He doesn't mention what Tyler and I stole from him, even though I think it was all the cash he had. Even though just three days ago he tried to chase me around the house and beat me with a broom. He made me and Tyler go sleep in the junkyard. Buried under our furs, howling at the moon. Maybe I can't fault him for that.
He couldn't keep it here where the guys he brings back could get at it, he said, and sure. But he should've known better than to tell Tyler about it, because now it's bags upon bags of lye being kept in the driest room in the house.
I work on grinding cracks into my remaining teeth as he grabs his neighbors Agatha and Dianne's Meals on Wheels kits. The delivery lady remarks on what a good young man Marlon must be, helping out these old ladies. Oh, yeah. A real, upstanding, mummified rat of a man. Maybe he helped them into the ditch. He yaps at me the entire walk up to his room, and I don't hear a word as I methodically rip up the skin around Tyler's kiss on my hand with a broken nail. It's been infected since Tuesday, and the ring of puffy red flesh makes the ghost of her lips white like the center of a neon tube. Always buzzing.
We get to his room, he says to me, "One of these boxes is for you, you know."
I think about all the women who bother to use what little time they have to operate charities that keep the poor and destitute alive enough to want to kill themselves. All that time spent cooking mac and cheese en masse and putting little packets of powdered milk next to little cartons of the liquid, like they get at schools and prisons, packets that can only be opened by the nimble fingers of caring relatives these elderly recipients do not have.
Sure.
Tyler told me I need to be eating at least two meals a day, or she'd steal a blender and make me drink raw chicken. So I eat the Meals on Wheels box. Sorry Agatha. I rip open the powdered milk packet, dump it into the carton, hold it closed, and shake it. Twice the calories. A recipe for palliative care.
Marlon's sitting there, quiet, eating Dianne's latest last meal. All the urgency is gone. Sucked dry. He's got pallor like a hospice heart failure. When dogs get treated for heartworms, the worms die, and sometimes, not all of them break apart. Sometimes, there will be thin, dead cords of necrotized nematode strung through their heart waiting for the right beat to fall apart and clot a vital artery. This can take years to happen. Your pet recovers perfectly from treatment until seven years down the line, you give it a doggy cupcake and a pulmonary embolism for its tenth birthday.
Marlon looks like he's had his first melarsomine injection and his owner is thinking about taking him to a dog park instead of bothering with the second. If you let a dog get its heart rate up too high when getting treated for all the parasites you let grow in it, its heart will explode. Or all the worms will clog its lungs. Whichever one it is, it's happening to Marlon here in this room. On this bed.
He says he'd found a bruise, a while back. A nasty little thing, like the crush of a plum under your thumb. Near one of his ankles. And Marlon Singer knew he couldn't afford any novel treatments, and he'd seen too many people rot from the inside out from them already. He did not go to the clinic down the street that gets its windows broken in often enough that there's just big black billowing sails of trashbags over their storefront more often than not. Marlon says he once saw a rat nailed to the door, which is something you'd think would be too neat and poetic for real life. He didn't go to the clinic because he didn't have to. And maybe if he was fucking guys he wanted to he would be a bit more cautious, but the men Marlon Singer gets to fuck are the type to have given him those bruises in the first place. They're the reason there's single mothers visiting that clinic, like half melted wax getting scraped out of the picture. He says he shouldn't feel guilty.
I tell Marlon about where I got the idea for poisoning all the food at the Pressman hotel.
He asks me what I mean by that, and I tell him about my first boss at the company I work for now.
When I first started there, I was selling our cars to companies. Bulk orders for work vehicles. My job was to not fuck up any contracts we already had. Marlon is probably aware, but the type of man involved in that sort of thing, he knows he's got you on a collar and chain. You and him both know he'll be renewing the contract, but you have to do the song and dance for him. Pretend you like how close he gets to you. Pretend you don't want to rip his testicles from his ballsack when he leans in sweaty and tells you how he likes your hair, did you go and do all that just for me?
Because he knows. And you know. But enduring this is what you were hired to do. If you were a man, you would've been hired to create a sense of the old boys club with this guy. But you're not.
There is so much pretense in the world.
Anyway, my first boss, call him Joe — whenever I'd return from those trips and dinners, Joe wouldn't pretend that it wasn't a shit job. He'd commiserate and wish me luck with the next one. He didn't overstep, he wasn't creepy, he kept his distance. The best you could hope for. Thirty days on the job, they asked me how I was doing, and I told them I was doing great. The job was amazing, I felt embraced by the company, my boss was great. One of those things was true to me.
And when Joe got his promotion, for being such a great regional manager, he cornered me in my cubicle and informed me he'd been jerking off into my nicely labeled thin salad lunches each time they showed up in the office fridge. He told me this with the same smile he'd always worn.
Marlon, he's next to me, and he leans closer like we're having a nice little confession. My skin itches.
It was before the 90 day clause kicked in my health coverage, so I had to wait at one of those free clinics like Marlon's, and I was surrounded by a lot of young men, wispy mangled pears. What little flesh was left was soft. When I told the nurse what happened, I watched myself die in her eyes. Dappling up with rashes and bruises until I was all painted and sunken like a bog body.
For the longest time, I wondered if I'd become the oral Mary. How many times I vomited in that office toilet, I don't know. I stopped bringing lunch.
The thing is, I couldn't see it in his face. Joe's, I mean. Not even when he told me. I couldn't see it in anyone. So I stopped eating out. Stopped eating altogether, really.
Marlon, his response was to go to the support groups. His tragedy was that it was a slow death, coming for him. Best to wriggle into the pile of dying bodies, see what it's like. Maybe that could muster enough suicidal impulse.
I tell Marlon, of course, I couldn't go to HR. I was a new hire with no evidence and previous record of liking my boss. I didn't want to tell my mom. I didn't want her to know. Those uncomfortable dinners became absolutely, wretchedly unbearable as I thought about the food I was being forced to share.
When the option came up for a dead end job in the least loved department in the building, I put on the best performance of my life to get the part. Best aspiring Compliance and Liability head and sole department employee, that's me. My new job was to keep secrets. It was, already, old hat.
For months I thought about waking up from a narcoleptic fit at my desk, with Joe leaning over the cubicle wall and asking if I was alright. I watched my stomach like it was nuclear. Every extra second it took until I bled like usual slid me closer to buying myself a shotgun and pumping a slug or two into my brain.
It's an unavoidable fear, I tell Marlon. You can't do anything about it. Once you know, you know. At some point, you have to find the peace in it. Imagine yourself, a balloon popping with meaty chunks flying apart, splattering onlookers and raining viscera.
For a month, six months, I had cancer. Worse than cancer. Every time I eat out, I get it again.
Marlon is looking at me, melting stained glass, drowning in that sort of shared pity you build together with someone who's dying.
I don't want Marlon to feel guilty.
I tell Marlon, that's why I poison the food at the Pressman hotel. Someone's got to do it. Blood in the tomato sauce, spit on the steak. Imagine what you could do to a soup. The men who go to the Pressman hotel, they're the kind that leave Marlon bloody and walking around Paper Street calling for Tyler to come out and burn more holes into him. They're the kind that get promoted from regional manager. They're the kind that lean in close, pull your wrist towards them, and say there's one way they know you could secure the contract renewal. The kind that almost ruin it in a temper tantrum when you don't, resulting in an upper management intervention on the 24th day of your new job. They're the kind that hear that shit and say you should've been more appeasing. More polite.
Don't feel guilty, Marlon.
I hope all of them rot so everyone can see the maggots eating their insides.
Marlon isn't smiling. I am unavoidably bad at distracting him. There's something final in it, when he sighs, and takes off his tank top. He says it's on his back, and I should just tell him.
I look. I see it. Black hole, botfly, necrosis. There's so many things these broken blood vessels could be. Withering, snapping apart like mummified heartworms. I imagine driving the two inch melarsomine needle deep into the muscles bunched upon his spine.
I look.
I press my hands into him, and I grip like I'm trying to rend my fingers through his skin, deep into his body cavity to rip out his guts. Like I'm trying to grab the rope of his small intestine and strangle him with it. Marlon's yelling at me and trying to hit me, arms flapping like a chicken, and I am bruising ten deep circles into the soft pearskin of his abdomen. It's the only place left on him that's mealy, that isn't frayed rope under worn out leather.
I tell him, you've got bruises. They look mostly normal, to me.
Don't worry too much about it.
And Marlon, he leans into me, and I let him.
#asks#fight club#female fight club au#my writing#obv directly in parallel to the book chapter#this has been sort of floating in my head#in the book its probably the most caring moment the narrator has for marla#and i think that is the same here actually#its just female narrator off the charts detestes marlon more in the first place. puts all her sense of sympathy and shared solidarity into#Tyler. but. yeah#anyway made marlon's life absolutely miserable#and the narrators#i actually went back and forth on that#i dont want to... necessarily... give her Solid Reasons in a way male narrator doesnt have#but its sort of inescapable that fucked up misogynistic shit would happen#and i was thinking how to resolves the food contamination question in my head#hard to explain#inherently more horrible shit will happen to her than male narrator#but not excessively and i want it to feed into the same issues. in this case her complete subjugation in the office and inability to freely#reject the horrific shit shes forced to play along with#resulting in her doing the same to the fat cats rolling by#anyway#she does care about marlon#its complicated
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i'm sick so indulge me lol.
if yes, what would/should she get?
#c.c. babcock#cc babcock#tattoos#the nanny#i have thoughts#i think she detests them and it would be out of character for her to get one#i also think she'd get one out of curiosity#she would DEIGN to get one#but only where she could hide it#i need a tattoo fanfic
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"...Walsingham, the monastic author of the St. Albans Chronicle, was by far [Alice Perrers'] harshest contemporary critic, who in his venom has (somewhat ironically) left us with the longest and most detailed account of her background and personality, her influence as Edward’s mistress, and her subsequent trial. He describes Alice as a shameless lowborn meretrix (a word variously translated as mistress, whore, or harlot), who “brought almost universal dishonour upon the king’s reputation […] and defiled virtually the whole kingdom of England with her disgraceful insolence.” Although Walsingham was not always accurate and, specifically in this case, clearly heavily biased against Alice, he nevertheless provides a truly contemporary account, and his importance as a source should not be underestimated. Likewise, the anonymous monk of St. Mary’s York recorded that in the Good Parliament the Commons (represented by their speaker, Sir Peter de la Mare) stated that it “would be of great gain to the kingdom to remove the said dame [Alice] from the presence of the king both as a matter of conscious and of the ill prosecution of the war.” During the same assembly, the bishop of Rochester, Thomas Brinton, preached from St. Paul’s Cross that “it is not fitting nor safe for all the keys of the kingdom to hang from the belt of one wife.” Although the word wife (uxoris) is used, it is widely accepted that this is a reference to Alice.”
-Laura Tompkins, '"Edward III's Gold-Digging Mistress": Alice Perrers, Gender, and Financial Power at the English Royal Court, 1360-1377", "Women and Economic Power in Premodern Courts" (edited by Cathleen Sarti). Italics by me.
#alice perrers#historicwomendaily#my post#edward iii#@ anon who asked me how much faith should we put in Walsingham's account of Alice#Walsingham is undoubtedly vicious and prejudiced (and thus not always accurate - perhaps deliberately so) where Alice is concerned#But he is also a direct contemporary eyewitness and is thus invaluable as a source. His importance can never be emphasized enough.#More importantly however - the image of Alice as a transgressive woman with improper influence who 'hijacked' the kingdom#is not merely painted by Walsingham or limited to his account#It's how these other sources - the monk at St. Mary's and the Bishop of Rochester - depicted her as well#('it is not fitting nor safe for all the keys of the kingdom to hang from the belt of one wife' is pretty telling in more ways than one)#as did contemporary literature of the time like Chaucer's 'Wife of Bath' and William Langland's Lady Meed in 'Piers Plowman'#the whole point of the Good Parliament & the Parliament after Edward III's death was to simultaneously restrict her influence & punish her#So...I'd say Walsingham's image of Alice (unfortunately) tracks with how she was widely perceived at the time#Of course that doesn't mean that this image shouldn't be reassessed and recontextualized#Misogyny and classism very demonstrably played a huge role in how Alice was regarded by contemporaries#Ormrod has also pointed out that no matter the extent of Alice's influence she would ultimately always be limited by the practical#reality of being a woman and a commoner#'Her sex and status simply did not allow her the regular and acknowledged access to power enjoyed by politically ambitious male favourites'#It is not impossible that she was 'a symbol rather than a cause' of the crisis in Edward III's late reign#And of course it's true that WERE people who defended her publicly and privately even after Edward's death as Walsingham himself admits#She can't have been as universally detested as most people think#(we should also consider Walsingham's deriding comment about her 'seductiveness' ie: she was probably very witty and charismatic)#But ofc none of this change the fact that Walsingham's image of Alice's 'impropriety' transgressiveness was a widespread one#Nor does it change the fact that this image was fundamentally rooted in the very real and impressive power she had#Alice WAS proactive and acquisitive and wildly influential (Edward III listened to her over several of his own children ffs)#She DID have more power and visibility than any other royal mistress in medieval England#She DOES seem to have acted in ways that would have been perceived as 'inverting queenship'#*That's okay*. Alice's actions & image should absolutely be recontextualized and given more sympathy than they are#but I have absolutely no intention of diminishing or downplaying them either. That's why I love her so much.
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As I walk around the apartment with my phone, sipping my tea as I'm waking up, and packing up little tidbits in my bathroom; all I can think about is the following sentence: 'She dresses to impress', and how utterly false it is for Kafka. Even within a context where she needs to catch someone's eye, trust me, she doesn't need to "dress to impress". The entire concept of this woman doing anything aesthetically, even if it could also benefit for and/or with others, is absolutely unfathomable to me.
#[ mini study. ] she must have sought something extraordinary. everything she does comes at a great cost.#[ i need to swap tags around-- this is /this/ tied to the smaller metas? is it cause i thought i wouldn't write many long ones? ]#[ or would do /this/ more often? i dunno. but hi hello yes. ]#[ i read that somewhere and it's been /haunting/ me. there is no 'other' in the equation when kafka dresses. ]#[ if there was; she'd likely dress in a style that is more common and yet she's entirely unique. look how rather conservative... ]#[ she is dressed in comparison to MANY others. and yes; she catches the eyes of many apparently. but it isn't purposeful. ]#[ this whole idea of kafka /wanting/ attention drives me insane too. ]#[ /shakes fanon. ]#[ dearly detested; truly. ]
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lestat would have love and hate taylor swift with such feeling that he also probably would claim that she stole his vibe.
like he’s prolly buried six feet under in a coffin somewhere but spotify would be playing karma and he’ll be screeching that someone needs to turn it off and yet, it’s not not a bop.
#lestat de lioncourt#Lestat is sort of not really a swiftie#honestly he would be cursing in French when he hears her being blasted#or some band is covering her and he’ll probably eat them all#Lestat detests Taylor swift because she stole his vibe#interview with the vampire amc
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Okay but Bond trusting Dench!M to be the one who kills him--a reverse Istanbul if you will.
Specifically a fic set in an M lives AU where it's now a few years post Skyfall, she has since retired, Bond still works for MI6 but has retired from active service as well; he and Q are in a stable, happy relationship and he and M have grown quite close since then. A set up like in the I could always move in with you verse.
Except, MI6 then needs to run a highly risky and highly off the books mission where if they get caught it will deny all knowledge because the political consequences are disastrous. And Bond volunteers to do it because there is still no one else both as competent and willing to risk their neck as he is without expectation of reward or rescue should things go south.
And he asks Mansfield to help run it alongside Q because Mallory cannot be tied to it in any shape or form and also because he trusts her to choose England every single time if it comes down to a choice between his life and his country.
Because he isn't sure that had it been Q they were sending into the field, he himself would have been able to make that call--not anymore, not again. Q has always been stronger than him, but more so perhaps he doesn't want Q to have to live with that burden for the rest of his life.
So he asks and trusts his oldest friend to carry it for them both instead.
#james bond#00q#dench!m#fic ideas#and the fic is from her pov so the reader also sees how#when they in fact do run into those close calls#she is as ruthless and snappy as always reminding Q to choose the mission over Bond at every turn#(not that Q rly needs reminding but it is easier when it's someone else telling you to put your fiance in peril time and again#rather than having to make that call yourself and she is aware this is exactly what bond has asked of her)#but internally she detests it#bc bond was always her favourite and now she has let herself get too close#now he is her (only) friend#it would ultimately be ok though - mission a success and bond alive at the enr of it if only barely#👀
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GUESS WHO’S BACK, BACK AGAIN
ANNA’S BACK, TELL A FRIEND
#you would not even believe how long i spent on this meme lmao#dumbest way ive ever spent a friday night#dr anna ripley my detested <3#i both love and hate that shes showing up more and has a more central role as an antagonist in the conclave arc#because narratively its fantastic#but for me in particular it makes me want to commit war crimes#which is not at all a con#i want :) to fucking shank her :))#i've made this joke already but this is version 2.0: new and improved#if it aint broke dont fix it#this joke appeals to my humour specifically and thats all i need to make it#who needs sleep and social interaction when you can sit in your pyjamas with popcorn making memes!#also the amount of time i spent on this isnt even funny lmao#anna ripley#critical role#tlovm#tlovm spoilers#the legend of vox machina#the legend of vox machina spoilers#legend of vox machina#vox machina#lovm#lovm spoilers#tlovm s2#cr1#andis thought geyser
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As far as the people of Mondstadt are concerned, what happened that night of Diluc's eighteenth birthday in terms of the results of The Confrontation between Diluc and Kaeya, is instead a fabrication that a grief-stricken Kaeya had recklessly tried to clear a domain on his own only to be attacked and hurt by a Pyro Abyss Mage. The only reason he survived was being blessed with his Cryo Vision.
Each and every time the lie is brought up, especially in the Angel's Share, Kaeya feels the urge to find that 'Domain' and lock himself in it.
#hc; kaeya#//Those of the church are aware it was NOT in fact a domain excursion; but he Refused to tell them what it actually was#//Many had/have their suspicions; but with how highly Kae held Diluc; many of them dismissed such concerns#//Lisa; Varka; Jean; and Seamus are the only people outside of the Dawn Winery folks at the time who know the Truth behind his injuries#//And ONLY Varka and Adelinde are aware him being Khaenri'ahn had any part to play in it (Kae's not aware Lisa knows too)#//But Kae adamantly Refused to let Diluc be faulted for any of it. Did everything he could to ensure it#//Definitely made it clear that anybody who acted on it in his name would be someone he'd detest and retaliate against#//Made it clear again when Diluc came back; though Jean had no intentions to#//Was she upset; yes. But with how Kae framed himself and the ordeal; she's torn on how to feel about their fight in general#//She doesn't Know exactly why they fought; Kae keeps saying it was Personal and to 'ask Diluc' if she really wants to know#//But she does know both were definitely hurting that night; and she was only able to really help ONE of them#//Ack; veered off course#//But yeah#//Kaeya will NOT ever willingly tell anyone that Diluc hurt him otherwise; and never ONCE resented him for it; either#//If Diluc himself were to try and take blame; Kaeya would Lose His Fucken Marbles and refute him most avidly#//One of the fastest and Only ways Diluc can actually bring Kaeya to genuine Anger#//Luc can insult and push him away all he wants; can even hurt him again if he wanted to#//But that? No; Kaeya would NOT stand for Diluc taking any blame; even from himself#//HE was the one who pushed Luc; HE was the one who approached him while grieving. Thus HE deserves all the blame for what happened#//That's what he thinks. And no one can hope to convince him otherwise. Except maybe Diluc himself#//But that'd take communication skills and emotional vulnerability that neither are equipped nor ready for as they are#//Whoops; veered again lol#//If Kae out of nowhere brings That up and blames Luc/acts in anger of him for it; just KNOW that smth is up
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unfollowing one of my long time moots without any hesitation because they posted a big thing about why cheating is fine 👍
#If there's like. One boundary I have it's that#iykyk#I don't think she's lurking but if she is: Jade Perish Challenge#She's not the one that posted tht this time but y'know. If someone is talking about cheating I have to mention it#Like religious ppl doing a cross symbol when seeing something unfortunate#But for me it's like. I see someone talk about a cheating kink and I'm reminded 'you know who should be Voted Off The Island this week?'#Betrayal literally kills ppl okay I cannot fathom why you would cheat#when a large portion of people that commit do so bc they were cheated on.#IN MY EYES: Asking someone to cheat on their partner is the same as asking them to kys or k their partner.#Because that's what intense heartbreak and betrayal does to a mf.#something I should've communicated better before. I didn't explain to Jade why what she was demanding was so Abhorrent.#But tbf she should've known. 18 yr old me shouldn't need to explain that to a grown ass woman#For context a stalker kept telling me she would commit if I didn't cheat w her. But hurting my partner would make ME do that so#to me its like saying 'either you kys or I'll kms' which is. Such a weird ultimatum to give to someone?#Lady I detest you and you revolt me why would I chose your life over my own + my partners?? fucking weirdo.#Even if I was single ur a violent incel so ??? Ew No#All of my feelings towards Jade can be summarized with the Obama 'Then Perish'' meme#If u think I'm being cruel u should know she's with a self-confessed groomer and actively defends it#Do Not feel bad for that woman okay.#Tw suicide mention#tw sui vent#tw grooming
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tifa x cloud x sephiroth poto au
cloud is christine, tifa is raoul and sephiroth is the phantom
#the sword fight (à la 2004 movie) b/w tiraoul and serik has some canon backing cuz tifa attacked seph with masamune in nibelheim#would cloud be named christopher or just cloud daaé?#viscountess tiffany de chagny (she couldn't possibly be named tifaret right?)#sephiroth is also without a surname just like erik#even their ages kind of match damn 🥴#tifa looks gorgeous with her tied up in rebirth at costa del sol so i would love to see her in an aristocratic hairdo and dress#childhood sweethearts cloud & tifa and raoul & christine who are brought back together by fate after being separated for years#cloud looking up to sephiroth‚ later being betrayed by him -> christine saying the phantom‚ her tutor and angel‚ deceived her#angel of music -> one winged angel & both being murderous ““monsters””#“find the man behind the monster: this... repulsive carcass‚ who seems a beast‚ but secretly dreams of beauty”#obv seph has no outward “imperfections” but the way he sees himself in the locked monsters in the nibel reactor mirrors the way#erik sees himself#that rebirth scene in gongaga where seph and tifa are on either side of cloud like they're his shoulder angel and devil#christine being forced to make a choice between raoul and erik who imitates the former by using his words of proposal#let me lead you from your solitude -> lead me save me from my solitude#imagining tifa singing raoul's charismatic words of confession & sweeping cloud off his feet 😭 holding his hands the way she always does#the way both characters are an encouraging presence & a safe harbor for their respective lovers#S being heartrendingly desperate for affection and connection. in the og he looks for it in J‚ in this au he'd be looking for it in C#the way imo sephiroth might despise tifa cuz if not for her being there for cloud and being his literal anchor cloud might have very#well ended up like sephiroth. it's the way they're so similar even with slight differences in circumstances#she serves as an obstacle to seph until he eventually gets what he wants and after‚ if seph detests cloud one reason must be her influence#and ofc erik hates raoul's guts lol. if it weren't for raoul 👆#i'm usually erik biased but ofc i appreciate the whole story for what it is and can recognize christine's own feelings and character arc#in this au i'd be extremely torn b/w the two love interests lol#🍔
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harbinger voice lines..............
#yes i should have been in bed two hours ago but we're going through it#this week i will be mentally unwell because of this fuckign video game#miscellaneous#me editing the pre-arle note on my fic: im so sorry i did not fully predict her right please dont be mad#//spoilers for her voice lines#but i do love that she fucking detests dottore and thinks pantalone is full of shit#even if i wrote her more sympathetic toward them in the fic#like her hating them would change the entire context of the chapter so i dont want to attempt to edit it. like the story is done#gah i knew this would happen. and now im at the point where i just need to sit and bear my inaccuracies but it's Hard#it's why i def dont want to write any more fanfic until we get more details about these fuckers#because i hate being wrong ;o;#and i hate getting attached to my 'wrong' headcanons#at least everything we know about pantalone so far fits with what i wrote#now im rambling i need to get the fuck to bed
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okay but AKSHULLY there's more so i just hate hate HATE this weird smug condescending way male customers interact with me at work. it's like sir. sir. fella. this personality, this ~demeanor~ you see me exhibiting, it is for your benefit, it is to make YOU comfortable so you will continue using our services, so you will tell your friends and they will come into our business (heheh so also my benefit a bit maybe hehe), so you will trust me enough to believe me when i tell you that yeah, your prescription is high enough to where you will need to invest in high index lenses otherwise the lab is going to really struggle getting them to pass inspection in those frames i explicitly told you were not ideal for your correction, and so on and so forth.
And yeah, im still learning so sometimes i will get confused, but why why whyyyyy is it that with women, i get reassuring smiles and patient assurances, but with men i get knowing smirks or HILARIOUS quips and 'oh arent you darling' ? like. guy. why are you referring to me in terms of endearment my own father never even uses? why do you think you know me enough to start playing fast and loose with the jokes? yes yes im so adorable and i know you like to imagine that your comments are flustering me for a certain reason, but actually im so fucking angry. im trying to do my goddamn job and youre acting like this is a game, like youre not gonna be thinking im such a cutie pie when i fuck up this math and end up over charging you to hell lmao
#shit just kills me because how do they NOT get that this is customer service???#this is not my truth sir#i swear you would detest the real me lmao#UGH#theyre just so amused and KNOWING#like bro you dont know SHIT#i hate it so much#i know i can come across legit dumb at times bc i have a stupid sense of humor#but that combined with my nice customer service attitude#aka i cannot be as dark humored/sarcastic/crude#is just like 'look at this little girl doing her best in the real world ohoho she wouldnt last a day outside this store- so naive#like die???#you think im naive because im purposefully ignoring all your weird comments#you think im incapable because this job is no place for assertiveness#you think im slow bc there's more information and dynamics at play than you are aware of and im very new to handling that environment#all the things#rant#misandry
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