#she literally has nothing left to lose
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if one more person tells me Wanda has never faced consequences in the MCU I'm gonna do something illegal
#she literally has nothing left to lose#like a nice lil wanda maximoff life recap:#she lost her parents and her house and her childhood to a bomb as part of a war she had no part in (duh. because she was fucking TEN)#then she lost her brother and her entire fucking country.#then she lost a bunch of friends after Civil War and all she had was Vision#and then she had to KILL HIM???? HER LOVER???? THE ONLY PERSON SHE HAD LEFT?????#WHEN SHE GOT SNAPPED AWAY SHE LOOKED RELIEVED?????#and then she came back and half her friends were dead and the other half just ditched her#and then she created Westview and created and then lost that entire family#and then between WV and MoM she lost her sanity and her sense of self and theN HER LIFE#SHE'S DEAD#SHE FUCKING DIED#WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT#SHE DIED ALONE WITH NO FRIENDS OR FAMILY AS A DIRECT CONSEQUENCE OF HER ACTIONS#ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME#HER LIFE IS ARGUABLY THE MOST TRAGIC IN THE ENTIRE MCU#(except Nebula and Gamora they had it worse)#(you can kinda make a case for loki but he also had a thousand years of just being an unpopular rich kid and anything that happened between#thor 1 and the avengers is purely speculation so i wouldn't put him above wanda tbh)#like other people have had worse things happen but the entire last two-thirds of Wanda's life have been trauma after trauma#and you wanna say she didn't get the punishment she deserved?#i hate the marvel fandom -_-#this is not an argument btw i will ignore any comments/reblogs i don't like
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My new hobby is skimming through seasons of Ninj//ago to induce a fever dream like state in my psychese
#I've always had kinda like....petty beef with ninj//ago just cause like. EVERYONE compares it to monkie kid#When they r just not comparable beyond the surface level observation that its legos#Like ninj//ago contributes to the idea of an Asian monolith and uh. It's annoying to me.#It's also so thematically empty and they just reset shit whenever and it barely has characters. It's not good#Which makes me feel crazy when lmk is SO good. Like so so so good#Let it be known I've seen all that's out of drag//on rising#the first 3 seasons of the og show. And I skimmed through possession seabound and both crystal king parts#Gotta say. Sea Nya slaps like what the hell#Ninj//ago isn't good but that was legitimately like. Awesome#So there are officially 1 and a half episodes that I find thematically banging#I'm always a sucker for there being no good choice but still having to choose. Like I am. What decision can you live with#But Nya losing herself to the Sea? Losing her own breath and inhaling the sea to remove the water out of Jay's lungs?#The fact that she only became the water ninja because her friends needed her which eventually pushed her into this fate#Making it so she couldn't remember who she was or what her loved ones meant to her?#Her convo with nyad was like#duuddeeeeeeeeeee. brooooooo#Like she became eternal and endless. A force of nature but there was still a small part of her that remembered what ''good'' is#The part of her that would save a sailor who had gone overboard even if it went against the natural course of the ocean#Because there is no right or wrong there. Except in the small drop of Nya that was left#Like what the FUCK that's CRAZYYY BRO#Like she literally had to pull herself out of herself (the sea) to keep ''Nya'' together like. oh my god. How the cookie crumbles I guess#ninjago critical#anyways I've been losing my mind about Sea Nya and how nothing else in ninja//go is like it I needed to get it off my chest#sea nya
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its simply like, one thing abt the dire aus ( dusk, nosy, cc ) is that we literally do Not give lee or maria a break ever there is always something. like why is there always someth
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#do think kind of a big diff with like. dusk to cc Is just that connection made between maria & johnny for cc + the eventual#growing family in most of those routes. otherwise its the repetitive mindbreaking whenever she acts out until one of them#grow tired of the cat-&-mouse routine. or she has an arguably 'successful' escape attempt only for something to go Horribly Wrong.#most of the time tho i think cc's more about the descent into full Dependency on johnny & the latching onto him as the literal only#Connection she has left w Anyone until shes *maybe* accepted by nancy & into the family.#& that reflected onto nosy is like. there was the growing dependency w johnny leading up to house events & then there#was the dependency & desperation & fear of losing lee that Exacerbates so so much as the Only One from a time before everything#that she still has left. just that desperate clinging to one another. unable to leave the other behind even if they could get out#themselves & get away. maria just couldnt bring herself to leave lee. & despite alot of her escape attempts in cc - i think shes so#unresistant when shes eventually hunted & found all over again is bc that connection / dependency instilled with johnny. bc literally#now wtf does she have out there for herself anymore. how could she go back home like she is - with the blood on her hands? theres nothing#left for her but Him. theres no turning that clock back. theres no separating who shes become from him & what hes molded her into.#im yapping i have to go Cook but anywa-
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thinking about how atreus didn't really get any of kratos's features — he doesn't have his dark hair or his yellow eyes or his olive brown skin, he's a perfect carbon copy of his mother. her red hair, her blue eyes, her pale skin, can you imagine what that must be like for him?? seeing so much of his mother when he looks in the mirror, how much he must miss her when he sees his own face? can you imagine what it must be like for kratos, to see so much of faye in their boy's eyes?
#chatter#god of war#atreus#kratos#i say ''can you'' because *I* can ! because ive lived this !!#losing a parent when you're young that you grow up looking like a 1 to 1 recreation of#and having your other parent see them in you every time they see you#not to get like. Super Personal but#my mother has literally burst into tears seeing my eyes when i take sunglasses off because they're just my dad's eyes#and the thought of atreus dealing with the similar feeling of seeing someone who gave you life in your own face after theyre gone#is comforting but also pains me to imagine him thinking of#the thought of atreus growing his hair out during his journey to find the giants and ends up looking even more like his mother#or the thought of him finding *comfort* in their similarities‚ like shes still there in the smile they share#i also cant help but feel like that might be a reason for the disconnect between kratos and atreus before they mended their relationship#like kratos already feels he's not worthy to be atreus's father and when atreus is born he looks nothing like kratos#and kratos is *relieved* because atreus wont have to grow up with the ghost of sparta's eyes#and its easier to distance himself for atreus's sake and divorce himself from the role of father#so atreus can take even more after his mother that he already looks exactly like#but then she dies and kratos is left with his son who looks just like his mother‚ with her eyes and her mannerisms and her lessons#and not an ounce of kratos's influence in his life#and kratos has to deal with that and come to terms with that and be there for atreus#and he does! even if there a moments where his throat feels tight seeing the quick flashes of faye in atreus's features#and his heart hurts because he misses her so much#but he loves atreus more than his heart hurts in grief#anyways#im emo over the kratos-faye-atreus family and have my own issues to work through can you tell
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Emergency: Help Evacuate My Family From GAZA WAR
Dear Humanity,
I'm Haya from Gaza , from a family of 8 people: my parents, two sons, and four daughters (two of them suffer from allergies).
I've witnessed the evidence of the tragedy that has struck our lives in Gaza, where my family and I have survived amidst numerous previous wars. But today, we face the most dangerous and fierce battle in the current war. The urgent need intensifies for us, as we have nothing left and are unable to secure our basic needs such as food, water, and safe shelter.
Here is our story - On October 7th, our lives changed forever, my family and I evacuated from northern Gaza to southern Gaza, hoping to return soon, but it wasn't meant to be. Our home was surrounded, burned, and then completely destroyed, Our home, once a fortress of hope, now lay in ruins, a stark reminder of our shattered dreams.
The night before we left from the north to the south was terrifying. Shelling sounds were everywhere, making a loud noise that felt like it went through our souls. Every explosions shook the ground like earthquakes, sending shockwaves of fear through our trembling bodies. filling us with fear. The air smelled of destruction and blood, making it hard to breathe. When dawn came, we saw the devastation around us, realizing our home was now a symbol of loss and despair.
We ran into the streets and with each step we took into the unknown streets, we felt as if we were plunging deeper into the abyss of our shattered existence, leaving behind everything we own in our home: Clothes, important official documents, the car, and literally it's almost everything - the enormity of our loss weighed heavily upon us.
Our home it was where we found hope, safety, and made precious memories. Losing it felt like losing years of our lives, leaving us adrift amidst the wreckage of our shattered existence.
youtube
A brief video depicting the devastation that struck our home and our entire neighborhood in Gaza.
Desperate Plea: Escaping Gaza's Allergy Nightmare
I, Haya, suffer from severe allergy to penicillin-derived medications, and my sister, Amal, also suffers from severe allergies to medications from my family such as Paracetamol and Ibuprofen.
These allergies create a deep sense of fear and anxiety for us, as we live in a constant state of tension and fear of anything that may require a visit to the hospital. We fear being given inappropriate medications due to the unavailability of suitable treatments in Gaza because of war or lack of awareness and not informing the doctor of our allergies, which could lead to serious consequences threatening our lives.
MY Father Income
Our dreams are heading towards oblivion in the labyrinth of an uncertain future
My story, along with my siblings, represents a united team of four individuals, three of whom are skilled programmers and one graphic designer. We work as freelancers in the world of freelancing.
As for my younger sister, she is a student studying at the College of Architecture. She has always carried a big dream in her heart, a dream of being part of changing Gaza, of making it more beautiful and better. She looked forward to the day when she would receive her degree and start building this dream. But the beginning of the war changed everything. The destruction of infrastructure and universities cast shadows of despair over her dreams.
When I think of my brother in Belgium, I can't help but feel deep sadness. He has been suffering from unbearable anxiety and insomnia since the outbreak of the war. Sleep eludes him at night, and his physical and mental health collapses under the weight of these heavy burdens, negatively affecting his performance at work. Problems and challenges pile up in front of him without the slightest opportunity for rest.
We all feel psychological pressure and extreme anxiety. The war hasn't been limited to external attacks but has deeply infiltrated our daily lives. We search among the rubble for a little safety and the basic resources for survival. Every day comes with a new challenge that we must overcome.
As we sway amidst the rubble of shattered dreams, our souls wrestle and our hearts beat strongly challenging the ravages of war.
Our parents earnestly seek a way to rescue us from this hell, feeling the heavy responsibility for every moment we spend under the shadows of fear and destruction. They dream of a safe place where they can build for us a better future, filled with security and hope, for we deserve life in all its meanings of comfort and peace.
Perhaps this fundraising campaign represents a light in the midst of darkness, it is indeed the only hope we cling to firmly.
I appeal to the world as a whole to hear my cry and the mournful cry of my family in Gaza. We need the helping hand that reaches out to wipe our tears and build a bridge to safety.
Your donation is not just a donation; it's an opportunity to rebuild life and brighten a better tomorrow. Be part of our hopeful story, for we need your hand to start anew.
The purpose of the fundraising campaign
The goal of this fundraising campaign is to rescue my family - my parents, my siblings, and me - through the Rafah Crossing to Egypt, which currently requires $5000 per person. This campaign is our only chance to stay alive, and I humbly request your assistance at this critical time. I will provide you with a comprehensive breakdown of the expenses, committing to transparency and clarity.
All of our important links are here https://linktr.ee/hayanahed
Verified by :
⭐️ operation olive branch, number 26 on their spreadsheet. (On Master list)
⭐️ Project watermelon,line 249 on their spreadsheet. Or you could see it as number 212 here is the photo for more clear proof
Thank you for your kindness and support.
.جزاكم الله خيراً
yours sincerely;
Haya Alshawish.
#palestine#free palestine#donations#donate if you can#please donate#gofundme#go fund them#donate#donation#go fund her#palestine gfm#gaza gfm#gazan families#fundraising#go fund me#fundrasier#save gaza#save palestine#please#please help#help gaza#mutual aid#donation match#charity#go fund him#gaza#gaza strip#emergency#hope#important
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god i feel so alone
#all my my friends are going on first dates having first kisses getting into relationships having sex for the first time#and they were all bonding about it and i can't relate to any of it#and now my sister has her first boyfriend and my brother's in a relationship#and the whole family was talking about them and their relationships and i have literally nothing to add and just felt uncomfortable#i feel like i'm losing everyone because of this like i just can't relate to anyone anymore and i'm all alone#losing my sister is the worst one though bc she's like my best friend#but everything we used to do with each other she now would rather do with her boyfriend instead#and god the idea that my baby sister's gonna have all these first relationship milestones before i do makes me wanna throw up too#i'm getting completely left behind in life and i hate it so much i actually wanna crawl in a whole and stay there for the rest of my life#not to be dramatic!#shut up hanna
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Help my children
Every single day in Gaza, mothers all around me keep losing their children to either bombs and snipers or starvation and disease. I can’t shake the dreadful feeling that my babies and I might be next. This has been our reality for a year now. We have been through all types of torture and fear. We’ve been forced to leave everything we knew behind and live in constant displacement and humiliation.
Our homes were reduced to rubble in split seconds. We have been spending long nights in total darkness under the buzzing of drones and heavy bombardment. We have been through the sweltering summer heat and the freezing winter cold with no shelter but a flimsy makeshift tent. The sun kept scorching my babies’ sensitive skin and the rain kept drenching their fragile little bodies and ours each time it poured.
We haven’t had a proper meal or a regular shower for months. My eldest daughter keeps wishing she could go back to school and get her new bike back. She and her sister always ask about their toys, but we barely have enough to survive, and nothing but rubble is left of our old life. I even had to give birth to my now six-month-old baby in a field hospital with no anesthesia. I will never forget how painful and terrifying that was, but what terrifies me the most is the thought of losing my children and my loved ones. A crushing fear sears through my chest each time I think of it.
My children are the only thing that’s keeping me on my feet and giving me strength to carry on. I never thought that I would be begging the world to save their lives one day, but here I am now with no one else to turn to but the conscience and generosity of every human with a heart.
I know that not everyone is always able to donate, but please consider helping us in any way you can, whether by reblogging, sharing our story with friends and family, or even praying for us. With winter approaching, our situation is not getting any better, and we need to be ready and provide necessary items and food for our children to survive the harsh weather. Our lives literally depend on your unwavering support.
vetted by @bilal-salah0
Please reblog and donate if you can. Thank you all from the bottom of our hearts.🙏❤️
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Begging Shadows of doubt to change the name of the case "Corpo Killer" bc that is the only reason i figured it out
#there were NO leads#i went to the people she had on her calender and got nothing#went to her job to get her password and did a little investigating but ultimately just went back to her house#i tried looking up the genetics clinic and all sorts of shit#bc i was like HMM WHY IS SHE ON BIRTH CONTROL BUT GETTING GENETIC TESTING DONE HMM#i went ot the damn HOSPITAL SHE GOT HER SCRIPT#i almost went after her fucking LANDLORD#and eventually i went wait. corpo killer. FUCK#and went back to her job. and investigated all 5 people at their damn houses#and literally WHILE I WAS AT THE LAST PERSONS HOUSE#LOSING HOPE#i watched the wife run out the front door#and was like ???#lmao she off! she knows ive got her!!#and they had a GUN but the FINGERPRINTS didnt MATCH bc they were her HUSBANDS#and also for some reason i had that the original victim had a bullet wound? but that ended up disappearing. early access.#and i was like ogh what even type of fingerprints did the killer even have? K?#and i see that the fingerprint type on the knife has changed to a NAME. of the WOMAN THAT JUST LEFT#and then i get a message that there's been another murder#and i was like HOLY SHIT IT WAS HER#THE DUMBASS JUST GAVE ME HER FINGERPRINTS AT THE FRONT DOOR#FOR FREE! I DIDNT EVEN NEED TO GO IN THEIR HOUSE!#lauratexts2023
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oh also when i get to school i need to start like eating lunch...maybe not school lunch but bringing my own stuff. i never ate lunch from middle to highschool cause it was a hassle and also never had money. but that probably did not help cause i would also skip breakfast most times too since i had to get up so early eugh..
#i look back on my childhood and im like wow! thats really fucked up actually. but im choosing not to acknowledge it#the worst part about it is that mother literally worked as a nutritionist < but she was also obsessed with diets so i take her things with#grain of salt....like she is a fat woman. most of my family are and theyre all so obsessed about weight and pick it apart and are like damn#i need to lose weight !!! and its like. no. you need to stop drinking so much then youll be healthy. your weight has nothing to do with#anything you just have body issues so go talk with your therapist oh my god#< literally like the first month i came over and i started eating more consistently. so i put on some actual weight and i was super proud#cause right b4 i left my doctor told me i was very underweight and doing bad. and i called my mother and the first thing she told me was#that i looked fatter and was probably eating unhealthy GIRL?????? shes so fucking insane maybe i shouldnt consider asking for health advice#weight mention#ed tw#once again not really but like. yea.
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HEY! i knwo your on a break but just incase your bored could you write reader sending spicy texts2 streamer!ellie while shes on like a boss level, and then after ‘raging’ at reader for making her lose, she comes back as if the chat isnt questioning the sounds coming from the other room (silly girl forgot to mute)
hi. tumblr j deleted all my edits to this. i’m rage quitting and j posting this version i banged out in the span of 15 minutes 😀 anyways.
FUCK i’m sorry i know this took fucking forever and now i’m delivering mediocrity. loved this req either way this was smf to write. hope you enjoy sweet girl ;)
me when i disappear for a month and come back only to deliver pure dog shit. 🤪🤪
“-KID JUST GOT FUCKING DESTROYED, FUCKING BITCH.”
it was a late friday night, which meant ellie was streaming in her room, and you were supposed to be studying.
this week ellie was hosting a special in celebration of hitting 10k subscribers, and was grinding away to finally defeat Resident Evil’s final boss.
you could hear the chat dinging away with message after message, no doubt blasting ellie with compliments on her play, and the occasional comment thirsting over her hands or whatnot. it was nothing new— you’d seen the countless edits of her on your own social media page, and even had a folder of your own favorites saved away on a burner account.
“let me suck your fing- WHAT?! that is a crazy thing to say,” you could hear ellie’s shocked voice. “either way, chat, i’m married…”
“where’s my ring? UP YOUR ASS. c’mon, leave me be, guys,” ellie jokingly whined, bantering with her obsessive fanbase.
you held back a smile of your own, hand pressed to your mouth as she continued to scold the chat for their outrageously filthy messages. what a dork.
“alright alright, im muting the chat. love you guys but i gotta focus now! this is serious shit and i’m low on ammo now, hah-ha,” ellie spoke to the screen, words slightly muffled through the thin wall.
in the living room papers lay strewn across the floor, couch littered with eraser shavings and crumpled post-it notes, yourself splayed atop it all.
studying was a long-forgotten task you abandoned to instead sweep lazily through your camera roll, attempting to clear up some much needed storage.
you stopped abruptly at the thumbnail of an old video, in which depicted a downright sinful image of ellie’s bared neck for you as she arched back in pleasure.
you quite literally salivated at the veins that adorned her sweat-glistened skin, naked chest that was just covered by the play button in the center, goading you to click it.
quiet sounds of ellie’s desperate moans picked up, her head coming up look just above the camera and deliver the most pathetically fucked-out look.
“ple-ease can i cum, mommy?” she whined, voice breaking with every thrust of your fingers, wet squelching in the background a sign of her neediness.
“let me hear you, baby,” you heard yourself coo through the screen, the video becoming shaky as you picked up your pace— before suddenly ending on accident right as ellie let out a strangled whimper.
you met it with one of your own, frustrated with being left on an unfinished high, the throbbing at your core impossible to ignore.
your thighs shifted against one another, wetness pooling in your underwear as you replayed ellie’s final sound in your head over and over again.
your trance was broken by the sound of a frustrated groan coming from behind ellie’s door.
“fuck, i got it this time, i got it, swear,” she cursed as the game’s recognizable ‘revive’ audio cue played.
she could just do this again next week, right?
without a second longer of thinking, you quickly screen-shotted a clear frame from the video, shooting it ellie’s way and sending a quick text to follow.
~~
ellie choked on her own spit as she clicked the blur away. cough- “fuck-“ wheeze- “shit-“ hack- “sorry, guys, j choked on my own saliva.”
what the fuck? what games were you trying to play?
you groaned, hearing the firing of guns continue on alongside ellie’s commentary.
sliding your panties aside, you spread your legs to display the mess between them, snapping a quick picture.
you shot back another text.
“just one more hit, one more one more one m- i- fuck,” you hear ellie stutter. “oh fuck, yep… and i’m dead, ‘kay, sorry guys just give me like 5 i’ll be back. gotta take care of something.”
you heard the slam of her headphones hitting the table and a screech of her chair sliding back against the hardwood floors.
the door swung open, the look in ellie’s eyes making your heart race with anticipation.
“hey els, good game?” you asked innocently from your position on the couch, legs crossed with your arm resting over the back.
“good game? yeah, great game actually,” she replies sarcastically, sauntering her way over to you. “you didn’t happen to need something, did you?” she asks, hopping onto the couch and quirking an eyebrow up.
“me? no…” you trail off as she leans in to brush a kiss across your lips.
“no?” she tucks your hair aside, before leaning in to whisper, “you mind spreading those pretty legs for me then, baby? i just want a look.”
“els,” you whine, attempting to catch her mouth in a kiss.
she avoids it, dipping down instead to rasp words against your racing pulse, “show me.”
you uncross your legs slowly, a damp patch darkening the very center of your shorts.
ellie grabs the leg closest to her, swiveling your body in one swift move to face her direction, placing that leg over the back of the couch as she runs her other hand up your opposing leg.
“fuck, els, i need you,” you say breathlessly, hips bucking into the air.
“let’s get these off,” she replies with a squeeze, tugging at your waistband. “wanna tell me what’s got you texting me like a slut in the middle of my stream? was it the video? my video?”
she dips her thumb into your leaking hole, swiping your arousal up in a messy circle over your aching clit.
“ah- shit! yes, fuck, y’sounded s-so pretty in it, els,” you moaned, nerves overly sensitive from the wait. “please,” you cried out, unsure of what exactly you were begging for, but you needed more.
“so fuckin’ needy,” ellie laughs under her breath, relishing in the loud groan that escapes your lips when she replaces her hand with her mouth, tongue flicking rhythmically against your swollen clit to draw out more of those pretty sounds.
“oh-oh, god, right there, so good- mmph,” you rock your hips up, hand scrambling to tug ellie’s mouth even closer to you, if possible.
mmhm she moans into your pussy, the vibrations making you jerk up as your legs clamp tightly around her head. ellie’s hands dash up immediately to shove them apart, pressing them wide open with an iron grip as she practically growls, “you asked for this. so fucking take it.”
two of her fingers slide easily into you with the next pull on your clit, and you’re arching up in a manner almost identical to ellie’s in the video, whining nonsensically.
“you’re dripping, baby,” ellie tuts, “just couldn’t wait for me, huh?”
she continues to pump her fingers deep into you, curling them on every outstroke to slide against the spot that makes you see stars.
“c’mon, cum all over my fingers,” she teases, whispering sweet praises between kitten licks to your sensitive clit.
with your head thrown back, you couldn’t help but moan her name like a fucking prayer as your walls started to tighten, legs trembling under her grasp as she worked you through your high.
“that’s it, soak my fucking fingers.”
~
iluvgirls_moms: THAT WAS 1000% A MOAN
elliesleftarm33: guys what the fuck is happening 😀 ellie babes, i think you forgot to mute.
ewilliamsismy_wife: did anyone else j hear ellie’s name. are the voices getting to me?
elliewsjizzfr6996: how to be ellie’s gf no glue no borax? 🥲🥲
1toesuckersslurper: NAH ITS BEEN WELL OVER 10 MIN IM OUTTA HERE
yeahhh… looks like ellie owes her subscribers a real big 10k special next week. and an apology.
#wlw#lesbian#tlou#tlou2#ellie williams#the last of us#abby anderson#smut#ellie williams smut#ellie tlou#ellie williams imagine#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams headcanons#ellie williams fanfiction#ellie williams tlou#ellie smut#ellie x reader#ellie the last of us#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams fic#ellie x fem reader#ellie williams tlou2#ellie williams fanfic#ellie willams x reader#gamer!ellie#seraphicsentences interacting w her girls#wlw fanfic#wlw smut#drabble
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hello Mal!!! i have a nsfw req for toji x shy reader cuz they’re my fav and i literally think about it 24/7.
shy reader who’s not as vocal during sex with toji bc she gets nervous :( so he edges her til she squirts for the first time but only if she uses her voice!!!
Hello, hello! Thank you for reading and for sending this request in ☺️💙
Toji and his shy girl
"What are you doing down there?" Toji asks, finally giving in to the distraction of you sitting at his feet, rather than sitting next to him.
"I'm watching the movie," you respond, with an innocent amount of truthfulness. You don't turn around to look at him, so you're met with a poke to your shoulder. That instinctively makes you turn your head in the direction of the contact.
"The couch is too big. Even for me, doll. Come sit." He pats the spot next to him and shifts where he sits, as if making even more room for you.
Your eyes flit between him and the cushion for a couple seconds before you respond. "I'm okay staying here. I don't wanna make you uncomfortable." You smile, kindly, and turn back to face the screen again.
Toji's brows furrow in misunderstanding. He taps your shoulder again, receiving the same look when you turn, again. You tilt your head in question.
"You wouldn't be making me uncomfortable. Far from it, with the enormous gap of space that would be between us. What if I wanted you to sit between my legs, instead?" He catches the way your eyes widen for a split second, your inhibition cleared for the short span of time. "Come sit, baby," he repeats, this time patting the unoccupied space of the cushion he's sitting on.
You don't want to make him wait any longer. The movie is still playing, you'll both lose track of the plot if you take any longer. You stand from your place on the ground and move to sit next to him. As soon as you bend down to sit, his hands go to your hips and he pulls you so that you fall into the place he wanted you in.
"There you go. Now pay attention to the movie."
–
You try for him. You're trying so hard to ignore the pressure of his forearms around your waist, and the warmth of his wrists against the sliver of skin revealed by your slightly lifted shirt. You can occasionally hear him sigh through his nose, only further adding on to the tension you feel upon sitting between his legs. You don't even know how he's watching the movie. You feel like you're obstructing his vision.
The movie ends and you're left staring at the title screen.
"Okay, movie's over. You probably want me off-"
"No." His arms fasten even more around you. "I'm comfortable. Are you not?"
"N-No, I am. It's just... I wasn't sure if you wanted to keep me here for a whole other movie."
"I could keep you here longer than that, doll." He straightens his posture and readjusts your position, so that he's not slouching and you're not leaning back uncomfortably. He can feel the tension surface on your body as you go rigid in his hold. He can't help but let out a small laugh at how this detail never ceases with you. "Relax, baby. What's got you so nervous?" He rests his chin on your shoulder and turns to get a better look at your face. "Hm?" He plants a chaste kiss to your temple.
"Nothing, I guess. We're just watching movies," you say, more as a reminder for yourself.
"Mhm. Watching movies... on the verge of cuddling..." he mumbles, into your neck. "Nothing to be nervous about."
His hands splay over your lower abdomen and you think he might be caressing your skin so sensually to mess with you after having said all those things to comfort you, but he's not relenting on the joke. He's kissing your shoulder, aiming to relieve you of some of your anxiety so that your body can melt into comfort. It has some effect on you, your nerves being mixed with something hot, now.
"We can do more than cuddling, if you want," he hums, grinning at the way you shudder. "You know, i've been dying to hear that pretty voice of yours."
"What?" you say, laughing nervously, like you misheard him.
"You've got a really nice voice, baby. I swear, I could listen to you talk, endlessly. Wish you would use it when I take you to bed. You don't make a peep, doll."
You go silent. Not because you're upset with him, or because what he said isn't true, but because you can't think of how to respond to that. You didn't think he was monitoring the sounds you make. He never said anything about it before. You figured maybe he preferred the silence.
"It's embarrassing..." you finally mumble, quickly turning around to right what may have come out wrong. "F-For me! Just me. You're fine to make all the sound you want. It's... it's just me." You turn back around to hide the flush of embarrassment on your cheeks.
"Why is it embarrassing? Am I not making you feel good enough?"
You can't let him feel that way.
"No, Toji- That's not- No, no, no. That's not the case, at all." You unwind his arms from your torso and turn to face him. You fully sit on his lap, and though the eye contact that comes after you wrap your legs around him was like having three cups of coffee on an empty stomach for your heart, you summed up the courage because it's not fair to let him think that way when it's the exact opposite. "I just..." you let out a small sigh. "I don't wanna be loud. I don't want you to hear me. God... I can barely even look at you when we... you know." You look down at where your hands absentmindedly rested on his stomach. "Sorry."
He's just smiling at you because he finds your entire existence beside him to be endearing. His hands go to yours. "I get to stare at your pretty face the entire time." He grins, watching the way your cheeks burn and how you try to distract yourself from his gaze by fidgeting with his hands. "You always look so good, ma. Bet you sound just as pretty."
There was so much tension in the silence that followed. He started playing with your hands. He would interlock his fingers with yours before slowly detangling your hands and repeating the process, flipping your hands this time. He got to feel the smoothness of your unpainted nails on the pads of his fingers, and he traced the lines etched into your palms.
Things got out of hand. One minute you were holding hands and laughing to yourselves with thoughts of how silly yet necessary the moment was, the next you were both undressing, and kissing like you missed each other terribly. He has his hands on your hips, guiding you up and down his cock while you hide your face in the crook of his neck. He's groaning and panting at the feeling of your velvety walls hugging him so tightly, and you just release little breaths into his neck, occasionally gasping when he hits a sensitive spot, as per usual.
"Baby," he pants, "let me hear you. Give me those pretty sounds."
"G-Gonna cum," you whisper, your breath becoming heavier with every upwards thrust of his hips.
"Not if you don't let me hear you."
He can feel you clenching around him more frequently. It's a telltale sign of your orgasm rolling in, so he immediately stops. Both of you are unsatisfied, but Toji can handle it for as long as it takes you to make a sound that isn't just your breathing. He can tell you want to, too, with the occasional squeaks that leave you.
"I-I was gonna-"
"And I meant what I said." He's just as edged and frustrated as you are. Despite not getting the sounds he wants from you so easily, you're still make him feel really good. Your touch, the skin-to-skin of you clinging onto him—it's enough to bring him towards the edge as well, and it takes every ounce of restraint for him to stop. He squeezes your waist when he sees the look of helpless desperation on your face. "You know I have all the patience when it comes to you, doll. We can do this all night. I just wanna know—audibly—that I'm making you feel as good as you say I am. Alright?"
You sigh, but nod in understanding.
"Good. Let's try that again."
Despite your gesture of comprehension, you're doing the same thing all over again. You're feeling good, you're comfortable and Toji sounds immensely hot as he continues to drive you up and down his length. Your arms are wrapped around his neck, your face once again buried into the crook of it. All that can be heard from you is your breathing, the warm air fanning over his already heated skin.
"Doll," he calls, feeling the way you mouth at his shoulder and neck.
"Please, just a little longer. Please," you murmur, feeling that spike in pleasure return again.
"Doll, you're not..." he groans. He knows he has to stop or you'll get what you want, and what he wants will be pushed aside. "You're not letting me hear your pretty voice."
"Please, please, please, Toji. I-I'm right there..."
"Uh-uh." With heavy hands weighing down your hips like cinder blocks, you're once again denied of that weakening force of pleasure.
"T-Toji," you utter, weakly. You drag your face down to his chest, and allow all the heavy breaths of the forceful stop to come out. Your cunt is throbbing, viciously. You're aching for more of him.
The man who usually caved to your every want and put your needs before everything, was suddenly being incredibly selfish with your pleasure, stopping every time you say you're close. You think you can find a way around it by just not warning him, but he knows your body like the back of his hand. He knows every one of the signs that come with your orgasms, making it pointless for you to try to evade his torture. He's done it to the point where you feel like mush, sluggishly lying against him.
"Look at me, doll. Lift your head."
"Mm-mm." You shake your head against his shoulder.
"Be good." He chuckles at your stubbornness and allows a hand to rest on your lower back. "I'm trying to give you what you want, so would you just look at me."
You sigh, before you start peeling yourself, little by little, off of him.
He immediately notices the involuntary lift of your lips. "Ooh, look at that pout. Could've just told me you wanted a kiss, doll." He smirks, watching as you turn your head slightly to hide the scorch on your cheeks. It's not the main thing you wanted, but you weren't mad when he did pull you in for a kiss, because he started moving his hips again, the pace slow as your lips remained locked. That slow pace was how every one of these torturous cycles started out, but this time it was different. It was now harder to get what you wanted.
"Eyes on me, baby, or I stop."
"I can't- Please, Toji." You want to bury your face in the crook of his neck, again. You want to hide yourself from those eyes of his that never fail to make you feel vulnerable.
"Eyes on me... or I stop," he repeats, calmly, as if enduring all of these stops is such a simple task for both of you. You look at him, and immediately feel like you're being swallowed whole. You feel like he's eating you alive with just his gaze. The sweat beading on his forehead, the tint of color on his cheeks, the lust that simmers in his eyes… it's an insane visual. It's overwhelming.
He sees it, though. The way you try to still your bottom lip as it quivers, the way your chest spasms from holding it all in, your pleading eyes. It's all so... you. So fragile, so timid, so small. So beautiful.
"Good girl. Yeah... just look at me," he instructs, and you whimper. Your gaze falls to his chest as embarrassment floods you at light speed. Your hands reach out for him like they do when you're ready to wrap your arms around him again, but he intercepts them. The brief noise homed into Toji's ears, and rushed straight down to his dick. He can't afford to be deprived of your facial expressions when he now knows what your pretty voice sounds like when it's laced with need. "Fuck... again. Do it again, princess. I heard that loud and clear."
"P-Please. Please, let me go back." You test the strength of his grip, twisting your wrists in his hold. He responds by pushing your arms behind you, the edge of his palms grazing your lower back with every bounce of you on his cock.
"What did I say, baby? Huh? Lift your head and look at me." When you refuse to listen and keep staring at his chest, he decides to give you a countdown for when he's going to stop. "Three..."
"No! Okay, okay," you say, complying with lifting your gaze. Your pleasure skyrockets when you make eye contact with him. He gives you a little smirk, like he's proud of you for showing him that you'll always be good for him, even if you're stubborn about it.
"Shit, mama. You feel so fucking good. Might just cum before you, if you keep this up."
You moan at the threat and bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from looking away again. Every sound you let slip makes Toji pick up the pace of his thrusts. They're always precise, so with the speed rising, you think you might catch up to his pleasure. "Please, Toji. Please." The second plead comes out as a whine. "Please, i'm... um..." you hum, shutting your eyes briefly at the sensation of him prodding your sensitive spot again and again. "I'm..." Another whimper slips out.
"Yeah?" He murmurs, watching you struggle to finish your thought, through lidded eyes. "Get it out. All of it."
You're cracking. Your little moans are becoming more and more audible. "I'm trying." You gasp, the breath coming out shaky.
Toji is devouring all of it. His focus is unbreakable, and his thoughts of you are greedy. He wants more than what you're giving him. He wants you to be louder, he wants you to scream his name, he wants to make you cum so hard that you let go of all that embarrassment and moan freely for him.
He removes one of his hands from your wrists, keeping them restrained with his other hand, so that he can toy with your clit. The rush of pleasure makes you twitch above him, a sweet moan instantly released by you. You feel so flustered, you can't hold the sounds back as well as before. It's the unfaltering look he throws at you. He has no trouble holding eye contact with you.
He's obsessed with this show you're putting on for him. The way you're crumbling for him, slowly giving in and losing your tentativeness towards making sound. You remain overwhelmed by all of it. The heavy breathing, his groans, the rapid movement of his thrusts, his rough thumb stroking your clit, the way you're so lost in the pleasure of it all that you've become just as greedy as him, chasing even more stimulation by grinding your hips against him. It's a loud scene.
"T-Toji, Toji!" You gasp. "I'm- Oh!"
"Oh fuck. Cum," he growls. "Cum, pretty girl. Cum for-"
Your entire body is trembling on top of him. Loud cries fill the room as your orgasm washes over you, in the most unbelievably messy way. Toji is stunned, entirely speechless as he fucks you through this intense orgasm. Your back is arched in so much you think your spine might snap, and you can't for the life of you stop crying out his name. This is one of the most powerful orgasms he has pulled from you, if not the most powerful. Toji's lap is drenched, your ass and the backs of your thighs are wet. It's never happened this way before. Your mind is so clouded, you can't even think of what just happened.
Not even a minute later, Toji mirrors you in experiencing that feeling of pure ecstasy, heavy pants and groans released, carelessly, by him. His warm load is shot into you, adding on to the mess when it begins to drool out of you and down his length.
You're both breathless, left frozen in your positions for a good amount of time, while you think about what just happened. You come down from your blissful state first and can't even think to look at him. You pull your hands out of his weakened grip and rest them on your thighs and just stare at them until he says something. You don't know what to say, so you'll let him do the talking.
It was a heat of the moment type thing. Completely unexpected and he's shocked to say the least. It takes Toji a couple minutes himself to think of what to say, but ultimately, he thinks this is the best way to break the ice...
"You just squirted... all over me."
You don't even look up at him when he says that. You just might cry from the continuously skyrocketing level of embarrassment you're feeling.
"Do you have anything to say about it?" He asks, to which you just shake your head. He lets a couple seconds go by, just to add an unnecessary dramatic effect to the situation, before picking up the conversation again. "Well, good thing I have some things to say about it, pretty." He grins and wraps you up in his arms, allowing you to return to your safe space. "You know how much I love you, right?" He says, turning his head to look down at your face. You hum in response and nod against his shoulder. "And that I only pushed you so that you wouldn't hide your voice from me anymore?" You nod again. "Well, I was right." He smirks, thinking of how he got exactly what he wanted. "I'll leave it at that so you don't overheat on me."
He sighs, contentedly, at the feeling of you being so relaxed in his arms now, compared to before. "You did so well for me, mama," he says, before pressing multiple kisses to your head.
There's a beat of silence. Toji can't stop thinking of that spontaneous moment. It's stuck on loop in his head. It's not convenient in this moment, since you're cockwarming him, but before you know it, he's half hard inside you again.
"You think I can make you do it on purpose, this time?"
#toji#toji fushiguro#toji smut#toji x y/n#toji x you#toji x reader#toji fushiguro x you#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro x y/n#jjk toji#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk fluff#jjk smut#jjk scenarios#jjk x y/n#jujutsu toji#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji fluff#jujutsu kaisen fic#jjk drabbles#jjk fushiguro#❁ mal can talk ❁
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i feel like fishbowl and snuff could get along rlly well
bc theyre both like magical girls due to temporary inconveniences that they can eventually heal from and sort out over time.
ones overworked and has continued in the profession since their fucking childhood pet fish died + wanted it to come back (it did not, the wish awakened something else which is NOT what they wanted)
aaaand one has been through everything under the sun and wished for their partner to feel better (due to feeling like a burden). the offer wouldnt have been taken if they waited it out a little longer and found more opportunity.
#SNUFF HAD NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE WHEN THEY WERE TARGETED BY LEGNA.#NEITHER HAD A CHOICE AND IT BURDENS THEM NOW#fishbowl literally doesnt know anything else and has been doing it since they were literally 12/13.#fishbowl probably gives snuff fish crackers whenever they show up to make them feel better 😭#mutual 'i feel for you and want to help you'#powder literally carries them both around everywhere like stray cats she felt bad for HEFJJWHR#oh btw fishbowl is a magical girl with a big seethrough bell shaped dress. and it has like fish and glitter in it somehow.#sniff rambling
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Let Me Prove It
Summary: Logan x Fe!Reader -> After months of grieving for Logan, he proves to you he's not going anywhere.
Disclaimer: Descriptions of death, blood, reader goes through grief of losing Logan. Angst, sadness, some fluff. There is a happy ending. Illusions to smut towards the end. Not Proof Read.
You could remember the day you fell in love with Logan Howlett.
It had been a rainy afternoon. Nothing grand had happened that day. The kids had been in classes all day, most exams were happening all week but by Friday, they’d all be over for the semester. There was stew, heating up on the stove, and you had been reading your book.
At least, you’d been trying to.
Often, your mind would wander off on its own and only half way through your train of thought would you realise you had boarded the wrong train and it was already moving. And just like a flash of a meadow, snapping past one of the compartment windows, you discovered you had feelings for Logan.
And watching him walk through the backdoor only a moment later, confirmed your thoughts.
“What’s wrong with you?”
Your train came to a halt and you snapped up, focusing on reality. “What?”
Logan grumbled. “Nothing. Dinner ready?”
“Almost. Storm’s looking for you, by the way. She wants to know if you can cover her class next week. She’s got a doctor's appointment and no one’s available.”
Logan still had his back turned as he looked in the cupboard for something. “Sure. What class?”
“History. What are you looking for?”
Logan didn’t fully answer you. He just mumbled a noise before pulling a small box out from the back and closing the door. Turning around he opened it up, took a cookie out before offering it to you.
“She got a lesson plan?”
Looking down at your book, you dog-eared the page. Sometimes, you’d use a bookmark but considering most of them would disappear without a trace and leave you fending for yourself to find your page again, hours after you’d read it, you gave up on them.
“Yeah, she’s already left it in your room.”
“Of course she has.” Logan took another bite of his cookie and rounded the kitchen island.
Your gaze followed him. Mostly out of curiosity. You and Logan were friends. Not best friends. But good friends. Well…
Good enough friends.
Could you really be in love with him?
Reaching up into the top cupboard, he brought down the set of bowls and took half from the top.
“You take the rest.”
And for the next ten minutes, you both laid out the table in time for dinner.
Then you watched as he helped some of the younger kids with their hot meals. Despite all of his grumbling and his small protests when it came to calling him the best baby-sitter.
Logan was good with kids.
Yep.
You were in love with Logan.
And just like how you could remember the day you fell in love with Logan, you could also remember the day he died.
It had torn you to pieces.
It still did.
It had been on a mission. You’d all faced worse before. And yet, somehow, nobody was prepared for what was about to happen. Everything blew up. Quite literally. You had been helping some of the kids to safety with Storm and Scott. Scott had left half way through, running to find Jean and help her. Storm had given him cover, as well as the kids.
And once you knew the kids were in safe hands on the jet, you ran back.
Only, when you got to the top of the hill, having skidded to a halt only to catch yourself on a rotting tree, you looked down to see for the first time, the image that would be forever imprinted in your mind.
Logan and Jean were at the bottom. Scott had made it just in time to hold his girlfriend back when Logan took the brunt of the attack. It sent him flying and when he fell to the floor, your gut twisted.
Usually, he’d get up.
But something was off.
He wasn’t getting up. Not as quickly, anyway.
And when he did, an attack came sooner than anyone else had expected.
Straight through his stomach and a second through his side, Logan was impaled to the tree before being torn from it, sent flying forward with the tentacle branches before being pulled off and sent flying to the ground.
You remembered screaming his name along with the others before running forward. Storm had made it there before you, but you were the first on your knees beside him, trying to check for any healing that was starting.
It wasn’t.
You heard the muffled voices of the rest of the team in your ears, fighting against your own heartbeat as you looked down at Logan. He was bleeding out and fast.
The bodies beside you disappeared and followed after the attacker and soon everything became…
Silent.
The ringing in your ears had stopped, your ears had gotten used to your own heartbeat, and you tried your best to focus on Logan.
His eyes were closed. Begging him through your own tears for him to open his, you took his hand. Feeling for his pulse, it was weak. And getting weaker.
“Logan…please. Please don’t do this.”
Then your hearing focused on his heartbeat. Each beat took longer to come after the other until finally, with one weak squeeze of goodbye to your hand, Logan died.
The hours that followed after that became a blur.
The man you loved but had never told had died in front of you. You had heard his heartbeat stop. You had felt his last goodbye. He never got any last words. Just one last touch.
And every night that followed after that, you re-lived it. Over and over and over again. Each night, the same. Logan. The branches. The blood. The pulse. The heartbeat. The touch. The silence.
Sometimes you’d wake just as he touched your hand, the ghost of a feeling left on your palm as you woke.
The others never bothered to ask. At least, not after the first time you had told them. The Professor had gathered you all in his office after everything had happened. And all you could think of was that Logan’s body was lay, lifeless, underneath the school.
He had asked you what had happened and, with your arms folded and your eyes on the ground, you answered him.
“He wasn’t healing. There wasn’t anything I could do. He died,” you explained before looking up at the Professor and giving him Logan’s time of death. “May I go now? I want to make sure the kids are okay.”
The Professor excused you and you left as quickly as you could, the door slamming a little louder than you had meant.
And for the next two months, you…kept yourself busy.
People talked about Logan, they were determined to keep his memory alive. But they didn’t have to go to bed at night, just for his memory to die again. Each morning, you seemed to wake up earlier than usual. And with the feeling of Logan’s hand against yours, you busied yourself as best as you could.
Grading papers, alphabetising the library, cleaning every possible surface including the ceilings, constantly doing the laundry. Weeding out the garden, planting some new flower beds. Fixing the creaky wooden board in the hallway, painting the doors and wooden boards between the windows. Trimming the bushes, scrubbing the pots (even the old ones that weren’t in use anymore).
You did anything and everything you could. Mostly to keep your mind busy but party because you hoped, if you tired yourself out enough, you might have caught a break. Made it one night through without re-living Logan’s death.
But all of that changed one afternoon when you were called to the Professor’s study.
Where you came face to face with…
Logan.
Everyone was confused.
Apart from the Professor.
And throughout the meeting you remained quiet. Obviously, everyone was angry at the fact the Professor had kept such a big secret.
“We didn’t know if it would work and we didn’t want anyone to have to re-live their grief.” The Professor explained. “It was a shot in the dark.”
“How is this even possible?” Storm asked as she sat down.
“It seems Logan’s healing abilities were simply weakened. He needed help to heal. Medical help that not I, nor I’m afraid even you, Jean, could give him. There is a doctor I know, based in Alberta. She helped boost Logan’s healing factor and made sure that whatever had weakened him was no longer in his system.”
There was a little more explaining to do, but you could feel yourself drifting from the conversation. You just kept looking at Logan as he stood by the window and the Professor’s desk.
He had his back turned when you had walked inside, the others all looking confused and annoyed, having to wait for you before they got their explanation.
He had died.
You had seen him die.
You had felt him die.
And yet, there he stood. His hands in his pockets, looking around the room, breathing and living as if nothing had even happened.
Not long after all the explanations, everyone got to voice their opinion and you came last. Everyone looked at you, including Logan.
And all you wanted to do was run.
To him or away from him, you couldn’t quite tell.
So, with a breath, you forced a half smile and nodded. “It’s good to have you back. Professor, may I go? I’ve got a class that’s about to start.”
“Of…of course. I would have thought-”
Reaching for the door, you looked back. “See you round, Logan.”
Just before you closed the door, you heard Storm announce her way to Logan to give him a hug. But even the Professor couldn’t concentrate on that because he couldn’t help but notice there was something different about you.
Of course, he’d noticed you’d been keeping yourself busy. Missing out on family dinners, eating yours when you found the time later on in the evening, cleaning up the classrooms after hours, doing a little touch ups here and there with a smaller paint can and paintbrush.
Little did he know, you had just been filling in the spots you had missed the day before.
But he had figured you had been like the others. Itching to hug Logan. Being glad he was alive and breathing.
Instead…
You had barely said two words and had left as soon as you could.
“Are you okay?” Storm asked you later that night when you were cooking dinner.
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”
Storm lifted herself onto a stool opposite you. “I don’t know. You just didn’t seem…excited about Logan being back.”
“Of course I’m excited he’s back.”
“Then would it kill you to show it?” Storm asked, half jokingly. “Here, let me help.”
You shook your head. “It’s okay, I’m almost done.”
Storm moved her hands away from your chopping board slowly. “Okay. Are you sure you’re okay?”
You smiled. “Ororo, I’m fine. Scouts honour. It’s just…”
“Just what?”
You shrugged, forcing your mind back to reality. “Nothing. It’s just been a long day, s’all.”
Later that evening, you found yourself alone in your classroom. The others were down the hall having dinner but you had found yourself something to do. You could have gone down but whether out of habit of the last two months or fear, you didn’t wish to join them.
Your appetite had already been worse for wear over the last couple of weeks. If you were sat at the table, across from Logan, you wouldn’t have been able to even think about eating.
So, taking another bite of your sandwich, you turned back to your essays.
Meanwhile, back in the kitchen, Logan looked around the table. You were missing.
“Whose turn was it to cook tonight?” Logan asked.
“Y/n’s.” Jean told him. “She’s been making most of the meals lately. Guess she just got the cooking bug.”
“But she’s not here.”
Jean shrugged it off. “She’ll probably get some later.”
“Where is she?” He asked as he went to stand. But Jean stopped him.
“Oh, no. Stay. Come on, Everyone needs to catch up.”
“Catch up on what?” Logan asked. “I’ve been in a hospital in Alberta for two months.”
“Please, just…stay. Besides, Y/n’ll appear when she wants. She’s probably busy.”
And after a little bit more convincing, Logan stayed. You’d left so abruptly that morning, he questioned if you even wanted to see him at all.
It continued like that for a week.
At first, Logan tried to convince himself you weren’t avoiding him. But as the week went on and he began to see less of you inside his routine, he knew you had to be.
And then he began to notice things.
Everything seemed cleaner than when he had left. And brighter. Fresher, even. The doors had been given a paint job. Despite it being dry, he could still smell the aroma of fresh paint in the air. The halls were less creaky when he walked down them. The cupboards were tidier. He could find his cookies with ease now.
And despite the fact he didn’t read all that much, he knew the library had changed. Even the books that no-one ever touched. There wasn’t a speck of dust to be seen near them. And one of his personal favourites – a book he tended to read around winter, where the cover was falling off and the pages were falling apart – had been binded to look like new.
So, taking action into his own hands, he went to look for you.
And it wasn’t long before he found you.
You had escaped him when he saw you planting fresh flowers in the garden, and you had escaped him when you had brought in the groceries having used Storm as a distraction for you to slip out of the kitchen once everything was away.
But he had found you in the library.
Once again, you hadn’t come to dinner, making up an excuse that you needed to work. And Logan knew for a fact you hadn’t left to come and get your dinner yet so, he brought it to you.
“Thought you might be hungry.”
You looked up but Logan had already heard the change in your pulse.
“Oh…thanks. You can just leave it there.”
And he did.
“You’ve got to eat at some point.”
“I will,” you looked back up at him. “Soon. I promise.”
This was the longest conversation you’d both had since he got back. So, he took a seat across from you.
“What are you working on?”
“Work.”
Logan smiled. “Funny.”
Then the silence washed over you both. But he didn’t want it to stick. “Y/n?”
You hummed a response.
“Can you look at me?”
Your heartbeat seemed to jump and you took in a discrete breath. Finally seeing your face, Logan smiled.
“You’ve been avoiding me.”
“I’ve not been avoiding you.” You looked back at your work.
“Yes, you have.”
“What makes you say that?”
Logan gave you a list. “The constant work, the avoidance of dinners, the silent treatment. Did I do something?”
You shook your head. “You haven’t done anything, Logan.”
“Then can you look at me when you tell me that so I might believe you.”
Finally, you looked at him.
“Tell me what’s going on?”
“Nothing’s going on.”
Logan asked again. “What’s going on?”
You laughed, nervously. “Nothing’s going on. Logan, I’m fine.”
“Are you? Because you’ve been avoiding me since I got back and- what? What is it?”
You laughed again, except this time you didn’t know how you’d describe it.
“‘Got back’ you repeated his words. “You say that as if you left for a vacation. You died, Logan. Or did you forget that?”
“No. Y/n. What’s going on?”
You shook your head and packed away your things as quickly as you could. “Forget I said anything. Thanks for dinner.”
“You didn’t even eat-” Logan watched you walk away from him again.
He’d rather have you fight him than avoid him, so he pressed on.
“Talk to me.” Logan followed after you. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing. It’s late, Logan. Go to bed.”
“Only when you do.”
“What?” You asked.
“Your bedroom, it’s upstairs, down the hall from mine. In the opposite direction. The only thing this way is your classroom.”
“I’ve got to finish grading.”
“It’s almost midnight.”
You shrugged. “What teacher doesn’t get enough sleep?”
“Something is going on. Something has been going on. For a while. Please,” Logan begged. “Just tell me what it is.”
You stopped in your tracks. “Do you really want to know what it is?”
“Yes.” Logan nodded, stopping in front of you.
“Okay then, I’ll tell you.”
And you did.
“I watched you die, Logan. I heard your heart stop. I watched as blood pooled out of your body with no way for me to stop it. Even after three scalding hot showers, I still had your bloodstains on my skin, under my nails and on my clothes. Every night when I close my eyes, I re-live it. Everything. Every tiny detail. And the silence afterwards…it’s deafening. Sometimes I wake up, still feeling the pressure you put into my hand. Sometimes it’s still there hours after I wake up. I had spent every single day keeping myself busy, finding extra work for myself, just to make sure that I don’t start daydreaming about the waking nightmare I had to watch you go through. I had spent the last two months going over and over in my head what I would say to you if I ever saw you again. But I could never bring myself to do it, because I had watched you die. I had felt you die. So, please. Forgive me if I’m not jumping with joy because I can miraculously forget what happened, like everyone else.”
Logan let your words wash over him. No one had told him. He had a sneaking suspicion they hadn’t because even they didn’t know. Maybe they never asked. Maybe they just hadn’t noticed.
Gaining back your breath, you went to turn away.
“Goodnight, Logan.”
Closing your classroom door behind you, you silently locked it and pressed your back against it feeling your entire body start to shake. Slowly, your legs went from underneath you and you lowered yourself to the ground by sliding down the door. You tried your best to squeeze your tears back into your eyes with the heels of your hands, but nothing could stop them.
Not now.
Not when you had just admitted the truth to the one man you never thought you would see again.
Three times Logan turned back to your classroom door, ready to walk inside. But he didn’t know what he would say.
So he waited.
Back in his room, he waited to hear the door to your room close.
And after two hours, he finally did.
And before he knew it, his feet were carrying him towards your door. Only, he stood there for ten minutes, unsure of what to do with himself.
At some point, he finally knocked.
Turning off the tap by the sink, you hung up your flannel onto the radiator bar and dried off your face when you heard the soft knock at your door.
There was only one person who could have been up so late.
He knocked again after a minute or two.
And you opened up the door.
Whatever Logan had just semi-prepared in his mind, slipped away. He was going to say something. But looking at you, standing in front of him…all words failed him.
And the longer he stood in front of you, the louder the reminder came to you that he wasn’t dead. He was alive. He could be shot with twelve live rounds and the bullets would pop right back out of his skin. His claws would flare out and he’d be Wolverine. They’d retract and his skin would heal instantly. There would be no evidence that anything had ever happened.
Then six words slipped from your mouth before you could stop them. Before even your brain could register the thought.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”
Logan felt his chest crack and his heart impale with pain.
Pushing the door open a little wider, his arms engulfed you in an embrace that would forever be imprinted on your soul. Your own arms wrapped around him, trying to remember the feel of him both physically and spiritually in case the day ever came where you truly would never see him again.
That if this was going to be your only memory of him, you could never, ever forget it.
Lifting you up in his embrace for a moment, Logan walked further inside your room, kicking the door shut with his foot. Even if no one else was awake, he didn’t want to risk anyone walking by. Clearly, no-one else knew what you had been living through in your nightmares. And he didn’t want anyone else to share this moment between himself and you.
“You spared me the pain of being alone.” Logan whispered into your hair. “I was less scared because you were there.”
“I couldn’t have left you.”
Your tears were back to rolling down your cheeks. “I’m sorry about everything you had to go through.”
Logan softly kissed away your tears, wiping the others away.
You took in a shaky breath. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”
Logan shook his head. “You saved me. You stayed with me.”
“But-”
With both your eyes closed, and Logan’s, you felt his forehead touch yours as his hands cradled your cheeks. “I’m real, Y/n. I’m alive.”
You felt Logan take your hand and press it to his chest, over his heart. His heartbeat was mostly steady, if a little quick. Spreading your fingers across his chest, you felt it rise and fall with his breathing.
“I’m alive,” he kept repeating. “I’m alive.”
Logan’s breath was drawing closer to yours. “Logan…”
“Let me prove it to you.”
And you let him.
Capturing your breath in a kiss, Logan remained soft at first. He didn’t want to scare you. He didn’t want you to jump and run away from him like you had done only a few hours before in the library.
But then you kissed back.
So he moved his hands through your hair and over your body until you were pressed against him as close as you possibly could be.
Your own hands pulled him in closer by his neck whilst the hand he’d placed over his heart remained fixed in its position.
Logan was proving to every sense in your body he was real. That he was alive. Almost counteracting the memory that had been drawn from a waking nightmare.
And as he lifted you up, your back soon pressing against the wall, you and Logan knew he would be spending the rest of the night doing exactly what he told you he wanted to do.
Prove it to you.
As morning rolled around, you felt a warm body next to you, tangled not only in you but also your sheets.
Logan.
His arms practically caged around you, you recalled every single detail from the night before. Your argument in the hallways, the classroom, the knock at the door, the hug, the kiss, the proof.
And then, you felt yourself, for the first time in months, give a real smile.
Lowering your head, you buried yourself in between Logan’s chest and your bedsheets, feeling his arms tense at your movement, holding you in the bed without a way of escape.
And as your body reacted to his touch you realised something.
For the first time since his death, you hadn’t had a nightmare. You hadn’t seen his death play on repeat inside your head. And the touch you were feeling wasn’t in your hand but rather all across your body.
Parts were aching with a soreness you never quite knew was possible and later when you would look in the mirror, you would find fingertip bruises by your hips, love bites leading down your hip bone and on your inner thigh. Smaller ones were also dotted around your collar and neck, but a rather prominent one was yet to be left by the crook of your neck from behind where Logan’s lips would find themselves before you got into a fresh shower, Logan joining almost immediately.
But until then, you’d revel in the feeling of Logan’s constant heartbeat against your hand, and for a moment your lips as you kissed his skin. Before he woke up and proved to you time and time again how real he was and how much the memory that had plagued you for two months was something that, although wasn’t easy to forget about, could become something of a distant memory.
And for the rest of your lives, he would make sure to do exactly that.
#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett fic#wolverine fic#wolverine#the wolverine#wolverine x reader#logan x reader#fluff#angst#logan howlett#logan howlett fluff#logan howlett x you#logan howlett angst#wolverine fluff#wolverine x you#hugh jackman#hugh jackman wolverine#hugh jackman logan howlett#the wolverine x reader#falling in love#x men wolverine#x men#x reader#x fe!reader#logan howlett x fe!reader#wolverine x fe!reader#logan x fe!reader#x men x reader#happy ending
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You've now filled my head with nothing but Alastor and Lucifer brainrot. Any other sharing thoughts you have for them? (I cannot stop thinking about them, I quite literally thought about them sharing me during my entire 8hr retail shift yesterday)
alastor and lucifer sharing you pt 3!
pt1, pt2
this was highly requested, thank you all for the love <3 im tagging anyone who asked/was fine with it last time but now you can fill out this taglist form to ensure you're tagged for future posts!
tags: @lu-ferri12 @my-anime-garden @princessdreamss @polytheatrix @reaper-of-light-12 @ambi-squirrelly @hazelfoureyes @meggletoomanyfandoms @afernandez21
cw: angst ig?? idk reader is upset cause they keep fighting, general relationship issues for a moment, smut, reader gets eaten out, there's some light praise and condescension i think, alastor has a master kink, alastor discovers he LOVES eating pussy, there's like a weird sexual tension between alastor and lucifer for the majority of this if you squint, the ending is VERY suggestive
other: not 100% happy with formatting on this but i wrote majority of it on a 6 hour flight so like. you win some you lose some. not proofread that well, i kind of ramble at times too but it's fine. 2.1k word count and half of it is formatted in a headcanon cuase, again, lazy 6 hour writing. i also don't use the bolding and coloring that much cause it'd be a lot of work.
left the ending a little open, will probably do a poll tomorrow on if people want me to take this that direction.
■ okay so sex aside i would think outwardly everyone knows you're in a relationship with lucifer at the very least
■ but it's kept lowkey with the other part of the relationship
■ which both are fine with btw
■ lucifer loves pda so he's happy, alastor isn't a fan so it's whatever
■ the public part works out because alastor would genuinely be worried about someone trying to use you to get to him
■ it's bad enough that it's known the king of hell has a new partner, but nobody knowing that if they fuck with you they're fucking with the king of hell AND the radio demon is a silent advantage
■ if anyone knows, it's charlie. but only to the extent of like the fact it's a hinge relationship, everything else she doesn't know and honestly doesn't need to know
■ she's just happy her dad seems happy and is getting along better with alastor
■ i think alastor is the kind to really start caring during the relationship vs. lucifer caring about you deeply before
■ so occasionally alastor will pull you aside, or if no one is watching will just press a quick kiss on your forehead.
■ meanwhile lucifer is always making it known he's in love with you
■ arm around your shoulder, holding your hand, everything
■ again, alastor doesn't really mind unless lucifer decides to be an ass abt it
■ look they still compete with each other sometimes they can't help it
■ then it becomes a game of how much the other can get away with before you either get upset or it's too telling
■ that's the other thing is like, the competing gets really fucking annoying to you
■ we saw them in hells greatest dad it wasn't a want to be a better dad it's just wanting to out do the other
■ and when it transfers to your relationship it gets agitating fast
moving on
■ relationship side alastor isn't as involved with that
■ but if either of them did something that upset you or like there was a lovers quarrel between you and either side it's a big deal to them
■ especially if you're only upset with one half of the hinge
■ cause like, sure, they could compete with each other and purposefully drive you apart
■ but tbh.. both of them lowkey like this arrangement much more than they thought they would
■ so they end up talking to each other about it and figuring out what to do
■ same if you're upset with both
■ not that you're upset often it's just that when you are it's usually cause they crossed a line in their little competition
■ and they hate making their girl feel like a prize to be won :(
■ whatever their solution is, they do it together.
■ show you they can get along, that they both care about you enough
■ you're in your room, a bit of a blow up happened earlier after they got into one of their arguments
■ it's not that you genuinely think theyre using you to get to the other but sometimes with the way they act it's easy to doubt
■ anyways, they both come in, it's late
■ i cry when im frustrated/upset and i think it's a pretty normal reaction, so let's just say you're crying a little
■ they're both immediately at your side, apologizing profusely
■ you've never cried like this before
■ it scares them. alot.
■ for once there's absolutely no competition, the only worry is making you feel better.
■ both sitting next to you on the couch, lucifer murmuring how much he loves you, and how he knows how much alastor cares for you
■ i hate the whole "alastor doesn't understand emotions" thing because he does. he has to, he knows how to read people well.
■ it's just he hasn't ever comforted someone
■ he doesn't know what to do when someone he cares about is upset
■ so he's glad lucifer is here, as alastor just sits at your side nodding along and gently rubbing your back
■ alastor only tunes back in when lucifer offers to give some space for the night, and a little murmur from you agrees but asks they both come to bed that night
■ given its usually only lucifer who actually sleeps in the same bed as you alastor is surprised
■ but lucifer is beckoning him out for some space.
"cmon, we'll be back in an hour yeah?" he chimes from the door, and with a squeeze of your shoulder alastor is out of the door, but he opts to walk along with lucifer. "we gotta do better" lucifer sighs as he walks, not looking over at alastor. he's not accusing alastor, he seems equally disappointed in both of them.
"for her?" alastor adds, and lucifer gives a hum of agreement. "this while ordeal has been quite... stressful as of late, no?" alastor adds, "to our own faults, yes" lucifer murmurs, giving a sigh. alastor nods, and the two men walk in silence for some time, ending up in the parlor, husk far since gone to bed. "want anything?" lucifer pulls alastor back to reality once again, he's standing behind the bar while alastor had been staring off, his mind running with thoughtd of god knows what.
"whiskey, my friend?" alastor suggests, and giving it a considerate thought lucifer pours two glasses. the silence falls over them again, just the sound of the clink of their glasses on the counter.
"so tell me, how do you do it when you pleasure her?" alastor breaks the silence, lucifers eyes dart up to him. thinking for a moment before replying "i don't really think tonight is the time for that—" lucifer says, but in a gentle tone.
"no no, in the morning." alastor says, staring down at his glass. "you two indulge often in the morning, correct?" alastor says, now his eyes uncomfortably on lucifer. Watching as the other man almost pales a little, swallowing thickly.
lucifer immediately falters, giving a sigh. "look it's not— i‐ that's not her fault–" lucifer immediately starts, assuming this is a confrontation. his eyebrows raise as alastor shakes his head. "oh please, if i had problem with it i would have done something" he says, a static crackle echoing through the room. "no, i want to know how you do it when you... when it's just about her. how can i do the same?" alastor asks, and this is even more surprising to lucifer than this whole fucking idea in the first place.
■ so lucifer of course explains some stuff to him, of course it's hard because unless he's done it before it's hard to articulate some of his "moves"
■ i mean lucifer can hardly resist going down on you everytime, he's definitely experienced but it's hard to transfer that knowledge at times
■ but he's impressed alastor even asked
■ so when they return to your room, they're a lot more calmer with each other than before.
■ that night changed a lot between them tbh
■ it's slightly awkward for both of them when everyone gets settled in the bed
■ you're on your back, lucifer on your right side and alastor on the left.
■ they're both holding you to the best of their abilities
■ lucifer gives alastors hand a squeeze before shuffling it to have a better grasp on your waist
■ you all peacefully sleep through the night, not shifting much but it's pretty comfortable
■ is the morning you're mostly cuddled into alastor, which is entirely lucifers doing
■ when you're all awake though alastor gets arguably nervous
■ but you being you, you slump over onto alastors chest, murmuring some affection to him
■ lucifer gives a nod, it's time.
■ he'd honestly probably move to get out of bed, assuming some privacy is wanted
■ but he feels a shadow wrap around his forearm, it's a light pressure
■ alastor shakes his head, mouthing a small "please"
after lucifer processes for a moment what exactly is about to go down, he's okay with that. he settles back in, his eyes on the two of you as alastor tilts your chin up, pressing a kiss to your lips. "my dear, would you mind if i tried something a little different with you?" alastor chimes, and you blink your eyes open again, still a bit sleepy as you give a nod.
he gently maneuvers you on the bed so you're laying on your back, his hands pawing at your sleep shorts and pulling them to your ankles. lucifer watches, honestly a little mezmerized by the whole ordeal. he feels proud in an odd sort of way. “I think our little doe deserves a treat, would you like that?” alastor murmurs as he spreads your thighs open. You take a shaky breath before murmuring some form of agreement, maybe even a little plea.
without further prodigy, alastors finally leans down his tongue swiping down your folds, hands grasping your hips to pull you to his face. your hands go to hold lucifers, but he shakes his head tutting at you. “ah ah, that’s not very polite princess” he chides softly, guiding your hands to alastors hair.
and alastor makes good use of the tips and information lucifer gave him, his tongue plunging into your sweet little hole as his nose bumps your clit. his eyes wander up, making eye contact with you as he eats you out so wonderfully. you tug at his hair and he practically growls in pleasure, opting to change tactics and focus his mouth on your clit while his fingers slide inside you, gently curling into your sweet spot.
and lucifer watches it all, absolutely mesmerized. he doesnt know what it is about watching this but theres something about knowing alastor is doing exactly as told to in this scenario that makes lucifer feel warm. he lets alastor steal the show, doing only minimal work. maybe hes softly cooing praises or gently reminding you to show your appreciation to the one making you feel this good.
as you get close, evident by the murmur that falls past your lips, alastors eyes snap to lucifers for a moment, and he takes a moment to think before understanding. usually when youre close alastor is all over you, telling you to be such a good girl and cum, just slight praises and coaxing. given the fact hes face deep in your sweetness he cant really do that, so that job is up to lucifer now.
“isn’t alastor doing such a good job duckling? you want to make sure he knows how good hes treating you, dont you?” lucifer coos, scooting in behind you on the bed so you stop trying to writhe away. “I think he’d be so disappointed if you didnt cum for him, you think you can do that, hm? you wanna cum all over your masters tongue?” lucifer says directly in your ear, and alastor feels a bit of a warmth in his stomach by being referred to as “master”
when you give a weak moan in response lucifer sighs, shaking his head. “be a good girl now, you can do it little doe” he says which is what sends you toppling over the edge, your hips rutting up into alastors mouth, whiny moans coming from you as alastor desperately licks up your sweet release. this whole thing was quite enjoyable for alstor, but hearing lucifer call you “little doe” his petname for you made him smugly satisfied.
after some aftercare which mostly just involved more cuddling, alastor feels satiated enough to shift to leave, before getting a look from lucifer. he reluctantly stays, feeling as you come to lay at his side once more. lucifer seems to take note of something, giving alastor a nod down, he glances down, seeing the obvious tent in his pants. alastor looks back up, slightly annoyed. a like “yeah, no shit dumbass” kind of look is exchanged.
alastor looks back down at you, pressing a kiss to your forehead as you sigh happily. but alastor tenses as he feels a hand on his knee, shooting a glare to lucifer as he traces his hand up a little. the two meet as and alastor takes a shaky breath as lucifer leans in just a little, breathing out the next few words with a calmness alastor admires:
“just keep cuddling her”
#lucifer smut#alastor smut#hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar x reader#alastor#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel smut#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor x reader#lucifer morningstar#radioapple#alastor the radio demon#alastor x lucifer#smut#hazbin alastor#hazbin lucifer
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MORE THAN FRIENDS | L. HUGHES43
-> luke hughes x fem! reader
-> contains: angst (resolved), kissing, mentions of underage drinking, mentions of sex and sexual acts, fluff, use of y/n, lowercase intended
-> IN WHICH: all the alcohol has wore off, and y/n finds herself naked in her best friends bed. things take a turn for the worst when luke starts to hint regret towards what they did the night before; but what does that mean for their friendship?
-> part 2 to get comfortable! i’m sorry i can’t just write pure angst i’ll make myself too sad. but dw it’s gonna be so juicy. also if ur missing someone goooooood fucking luck reading this w dry eyes 🫥alsoloveitasmuchasidothankyouhappyreadingggg!
*fic is not proofread
18+ CONTENT BELOW THE CUT
the all too well known pounding headache was the first thing y/n woke up to; oh, and also being completely naked in luke’s bed.
her eyes made their best attempt to adjust to the sunlight that poured into his bedroom. she turned over to her side, and there was luke sleeping peacefully, the blanket dangerously low on his waist, revealing hickies littered all over his v-line and stomach.
with a heavy breath, she checks down her own body; chest abused with hickies, trailing all the way down to her inner thighs. a quick look over to her backside reveals a red, unmistakable hand mark on her ass.
there was no denying that she had sex with luke last night.
y/n feels the bed shifting, a groan coming from the boy next to her.
“oh, you’re already up,”
his voice is horse, a combination of his drowsy state and losing it the night before. y/n turns around to face him, lifting up the comforter to cover her chest, any attempt to conceal her bare body to his now sober eyes.
“yeah, i just woke up literally a minute ago,” she says, a small smile to accompany. his eyes scan over her body, taking in all of it, eyes fluttering in an almost of a surprise of what he had done with it.
“do you… do you remember anything of what we did last night?”
y/n started to recount everything of the night before, how she felt with he was thrusting deep into her, his teeth sinking into her skin. how he looked with his head thrown back when she was on her knees in front of him. how he kissed up and down her back, not daring to let go.
“yeah… yeah i do.” she said, mouth twitching into a smile, anything to cure the tension. luke said nothing.
and there it was.
silence.
silence.
silen-
“i think you should go.” his words were a lot colder and harsher than he intended, but he sat up, refusing eye contact with her.
“you know to like… shower and eat and whatnot.”
nice save, she thought.
“no yeah, you’re right, i’m gonna change then be out of here,” she said, collecting her scattered clothing all over the floor. y/n changed into her short pink dress from the night before, ready for the walk-to-the-uber of shame that was ready to greet her.
while she changed, luke also got himself into a pair of boxers. y/n glanced over to him for a second, the image of him in his boxers, tired eyes and his body left with evidence of sex on it being burned into her brain.
“i’ll see you later yeah?” y/n said, opening the door and expecting luke’s usual response of “always,”
he purse his lips before responding, “bye.”
his words weren’t cold, or harsh, but disconnected.
disconnected from her.
y/n looked back at him, and he was already facing away. she wanted to say something, but didn’t let herself. instead she turned around and left.
——————————————————————————
it had been days since luke had spoken to y/n.
a million and one thoughts were racing in her head, each causing more anxiety than the last. they would come up at random times, like a jumpscare any time she let her thoughts travel to luke.
cooking dinner,
did he think it was bad?
studying,
did he regret what they did?
laying in bed, at approximately 3:46am,
did she ruin their friendship?
enough was enough. she needed answers, and she needed them now.
she knew he had practice this day, so in about 20 minutes, y/n found herself stomping into the yost ice arena, on the prowl to find luke. practice had just ended, and she shoved past the other guys and ignored the looks of confusion they gave her each other.
she ripped open the locker room door to a surpised luke, jersey off, but still in gear. his mouth opened, but y/n wasn’t going to let him get the opportunity to speak before her.
“where the hell do you get off on not speaking to me? huh? is it because we fucked? is that it?”
y/n pointed her finger at him accusingly, her face contorted into a look of disgust, but also sadness, and confusion. she was on the guard, but deep down scared shitless of what he was going to say.
luke sighed heavily, facing away from her and shuffling with the things in his section, “i have no idea what you’re talking about.”
y/n scoffed, “bullshit and you know it. what is it? tell me the truth luke warren. so what, we fucked okay? is that really the only reason you don’t speak to me of all people for days?”
he still had his back away from her, but his with his head dipped down, arms on his side. “it was a mistake. we shouldn’t have done it.”
she felt tears welling up in her eyes, cheeks flushed hot with anger and embarrassment.
“i’m so glad you think that luke,” she paused, making the best effort she could to control the shakyness in her voice, or how her throat burned in an attempt to get the words out. “if this is how you’re going to act after what happened, don’t speak to me now, or ever.”
it stung like hell to say, but she meant it. having enough with the situation, not being able to bear how much it hurt for him to be in her presence, she turned around and walked to the exit.
she didn’t look back. not like last time. but luke did. his body faced her as she slammed the door shut, only catching the last bit of her clothing and hair, her scent lingering where she was standing. his eyes were tinted red from tears, breath caught in his throat from regret with what he said, and even worse, what he didn’t say.
——————————————————————————
weeks had passed since they last spoke.
y/n was a mess. she refused to go out, turning her nose up at even the thought of drinking. her body ached when her mind wandered to luke; what he was doing, how he was doing, if he was thinking of her.
it hurt like hell.
and there she sat, curled up in the shower, recounting the memories her and luke shared. how they were always the first to wish happy birthday to each other. sharing their first middle school class together. sitting by the firepit, talking for hours at the lake house. crying in each others arms when they both got accepted to their shared dream school. graduation. a picture her parents took of them hugging outside their freshman year dorm building. how they held each other when no one else would understand, how they would still laugh their asses off even when no one would understand the joke but them.
oh, how he understood her. how fiercely they cared for one another, how he was always there, how she loved him, how it was always him. if it was one person she could choose, over and over again, it was luke.
but he was gone. just like that.
y/n had been in there for so long her fingers were wrinkled, and the water had turned a numbing coolness. she forced herself to get out, thanking to god that none of her roommates were home, knowing how pissed they’d be about her water usage.
she changed into sweatpants first, then begrudgingly putting on one of luke’s sweatshirts, a dark blue crewneck that read “michigan hockey” across it. y/n knew it would hurt to wear it, but she wanted any bit of luke left she could have.
about 10 minutes had passed, y/n was combing through her slightly damp hair, when she heard a knock at the door.
she went up to answer it, thinking one of her roommates was back and had just forgotten their key.
instead, y/n was met with a clearly unwell luke. his eyes were dark from lack of sleep, lips resting in a frown, all resting on a somber face to top it all off.
she felt like she was hallucinating. that she was in a dream, that her body was going to twitch and bring her back down to earth, back to reality. back to sitting down combing her hair, luke nowhere in sight.
they said nothing but everything at the same time. their expressions exactly matched, but still not quite knowing what the other was thinking.
“luke,” she breathed out, his name in the air barely above a whisper. y/n’s eyes fluttered, the emotions coming in like they never did before.
“can i come in, please?” his voice cracked, his expression pleading her to come in more than his words did.
she nodded, moving out of the way so he could step in. she sat over to walk on the couch, adding a pillow to her lap, hoping luke wasn’t able to see her body shaking and riddled with anxiety at his presence. but also comfort, and hope.
“why are you here luke?” y/n asked, demanding to know why he randomly showed up, after weeks of silence between them.
he ran his hands through his curls, biting his lip harshly before delivering his answer, “i need to be honest, i needed to tell the truth to you.”
“i thought you did that when we talked in the locker room,” she hissed, “all of that sounded pretty truthful to me.”
she didn’t want to rude, but how could he say that after practically punching her in the gut that day?
“no, you don’t understand,” he kneeled down to her level, unable to control the shaky hands that he brought up to hold his head in.
“then help me understand luke,” y/n voice was much softer this time, chest throbbing with pain seeing luke in more distress than she has ever seen him in.
“i was scared,” he said in a short breath, teardrops painting his cheeks, “i was scared after what we did because i thought it meant nothing to you, that we were just drunk. that you would tell me that you regret what we did, but i didn’t. not once.”
her gaze bounced between his hazel eyes, shocked at the news he was telling her. his face didn’t relax once, as he continued his truth, “i’m so in love with you y/n. i’m so scared you don’t feel the same way. i care about you, i need you, i feel so fucking…so fucking lost when you’re not there. nothing has felt the same.”
“i should’ve told you the truth, and i’m sorry.” his voice cracked again, and now luke was in full on sobs.
y/n could say nothing yet, still in shock, now again feeling like she was hallucinating. she opened her arms, and luke sat down on the couch with her and came crashing in.
he buried his face in the crook of her neck, arms tightly wrapped around her, terrified that if he let go she would be gone again. he cried into her, taking in her scent, her warm skin, her gentle touch, all of which he missed dearly.
“i love you, luke. i love you, i should’ve said it sooner,” y/n felt the pain that had accumulated for weeks begin to disappear in minutes with luke, the only ailment to her sickness. he sighed, pressing his forehead to hers with closed eyes.
“we both should’ve said it sooner, i’m so sorry y/n. i cant let you go. not now, now ever,” he held her tighter than ever, shifting his head to plant a soft kiss on her forhead.
she cupped his face in her hands, seeing him look at her with so much love made her stomach flutter.
“you have me luke, always.”
that’s when he kissed her. it was night and day between the first time their lips met. the first was new, lustful, wavering in its stability. this time, it was familiar, warm and feeling like they both could go on like this forever. their lips moved in perfect harmony, y/n crawling atop luke’s lap to bring herself as close to him as she possibly could.
they just barely pulled away, desperately needing to catch their breaths.
“now you’re never getting rid of me lu,” she giggled,
“wouldn’t even dream of it,” luke said, laying her down on the couch in her fit of giggles, peppering sweet kisses all over her face.
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© missqhughes
xoxo, kaia
#luke hughes#luke hughes x y/n#luke hughes fluff#luke hughes smut#luke hughes x reader#lh43#nhl imagine#nhl fic#hockey#new jersey devils#nj devils#umich hockey#umich boys#luke hughes fanfic#nhl#luke hughes x you
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Astro Observations 2.0
Thank you all for 222 followers! <3
Take these observations for what they are: personal observations.
Super duper long because I love you all. :)
Aries moons tend to always be on the move. Often times, these natives have something energetically "off" at home which results in them not even wanting to be there. They're the type to always be at work or at their friend's place. May have parents they want to get away from. At least one of their parents leans toward a more masculine energy.
You cannot be in your feelings when you talk to a Virgo moon. Their love language is literally telling you all the ways you can improve yourself. It's not necessarily that they're trying to make you feel some type of way, they genuinely don't think there's anything offensive about it. They're naturally attracted to "fixer-uppers" and they love a good project. Only problem is, people are not your projects and your loved ones are allowed to be flawed.
On the note of Virgo moons, they also have a tendency to be permanently unimpressed. My mom has this placement and my sister and I always wanted grand reactions to the stuff we did as kids, but we never got them. Even to this day, my mom is the queen of giving absolutely nothing extra energetically lol. They literally look like this emoji --->😐. Unless they have fire placements, they tend to be the definition of stoicism.
I've been studying the relationship between Scorpio moons and their mothers for a while now because it is such an interesting dynamic. I noticed in the past, that Scorpio moon natives may experience a rather controlling mother figure, but I've recently noticed that this controlling nature goes both ways. Yes, their mother has control over them and their actions, but they have just as much control over her too. They're almost like puppets to each other. It's an incredibly intriguing dynamic that honestly leaves me speechless. Makes you wonder, in these specific situations, "Is anyone here truly the victim?"
We've talked about how moon signs can manifest and what your mother may have taught you, but what I have yet to touch on is how your moon sign reflects your mother's pregnancy experience. I've studied this a bit and I think my mom is the perfect example! My sister and I have opposing moon signs: Cancer and Capricorn. I've spoken to my mom in-depth about both her pregnancies and here is how she describes them:
-Pregnancy with Cancer moon: she was overweight, gained 50+ lbs during her pregnancy, used food to cope with her abusive relationship, was on bedrest, too depressed to do or go anywhere, spent most of her days in the house crying.
-Pregnancy with Capricorn moon: she was in amazing physical condition, gained less than 20 lbs during pregnancy (10 lbs of that was baby), had endless energy, worked out every day, worked overtime at her job, was broken up from my dad, lived alone, was in her bag.
Opposite moon signs and two completely different pregnancies!! Crazy, right?!
I've heard the theory that Capricorn moons are the eldest child, which is true in many cases. However, in my experience as a Capricorn moon, I'm the youngest and my eldest sister is a Cancer moon. But that doesn't debunk my "big sister" energy lol. My sister has always referred to me as her "big little sister" and when we were younger and my mom left us home alone, she always left me in charge. My Cancer moon sister was known for her big emotions and ability to quickly lose control. This dynamic has always been funny to me. Ex. We had a tornado watch (super rare where I live) and my sister was running around the house screaming and crying. While I was calmly in my bedroom playing dolls keeping it kosher. 🤣
God really did give his toughest battles to Virgo, Scorpio and Capricorn moons. No one else is doing it like us! We came equipped with everything we needed to handle ALL the bs in our families.
Don't scorch me fire moons, but where is the personal accountability? I've seen water signs talk their way out of some situations, but the way a fire moon will dance around the truth really needs to be studied. I made this observation before and a Sag moon came for me which is how you know it's true. 😭
Moon sign compatibility is so real y'all. As an earth moon, I mainly form deep connections and bonds with other earth moons and *some* water moons. The other elements just don't do it for me. Even with my fire placements & degrees, I still struggle to understand fire moons.
I've read before that Leo moons have a tendency to be selfish, which I concur depending on the situation. But I think the reason why some of them act like this is because often times, they are either the only child or the favorite child. So they literally don't know what it means to compromise or not get their way. I've only met 2 Leo moons (that I know of) years apart and they both had the same tendencies and personality. Let me know if you've had a more positive experience with this moon sign!
Fixed moons may have mothers who are very controlling over their lives. Their mothers have a “fixed” idea of what their child’s life should look like. They have a tendency to have a puppet & puppeteer relationship. I’ve noticed that because of this, these natives tend to have one area of their lives that their mother can’t control and they spiral out of control in that area. Kinda like a “look mom, you can’t control me in EVERY way” type thing. The most common areas I’ve noticed this in is their sex lives and drugs/alcohol use.
Of course the above note is based on personal experience. I’ve heard quite a few mothers of fixed moons say to other people: “I made them do this” “there was no way I was gonna let them not do this…” like the kid has no choice in the matter.
Okay, enough about moon signs. For now...
This may not be too popular with the astro girlies buttt I believe we have a tendency to attract the versions of signs we speak into existence. For example, when I first started studying astrology, I was sick to my stomach to see that I was a Sagittarius rising because I had back-to-back experiences with Sagittarius suns stabbing me in the back, so I told myself they were the worst. In time, I wanted to accept all of my chart which included my own Sag placements. I had to heal my understanding and perception of them to see them differently. Now, I attract the funniest and kindest Sag suns! It all started with me. This is your sign to heal your trauma with that placement. 🤍 (yes, this is also a message to myself). What you see won't change until you change what you see!
If there's anything a mutable rising is gonna do it's change their physical appearance.
Earth risings, rising at earth degree, or chart ruler in earth house: these people are less likely to take bold chances and risks with their appearances. Not really the type to dye their hair crazy colors, although they are quick to get visible tattoos.
Virgo in big 6 appears naturally put together. They don't really have to get ready because they stay ready. And they expect the same from you, especially if you're their romantic partner. This is amplified if they have Libra or Leo placements.
I’ve noticed Virgo suns and risings are much less likely to wear makeup. I see them with it maybe once a year and even then it’s like one coat of mascara and some highlighter. One thing I have heard a lot of Virgo women say is that they literally don’t know how to do their makeup which may factor into why they don’t wear it. Virgo moons however do tend to wear makeup.
Aries and Scorpio placements are very protective of their loved ones. One wrong look in their direction and they're ready to pounce.
Gemini-Sagittarius axis: if there's one thing these placements are gonna do it's laugh at absolutely nothing for an extended period of time.
Taurus and Libra placements, do you really need that new blouse? Or that new stationary knowing dang well you have more than enough? No, put it back. Aht! PUT IT BACK. And keep your receipts, so when you get home from that impulsive purchase, you can bring it right back where you got it from.
Something about Virgo, Scorpio, Sagittarius and Capricorn placements in dark academia that really does something to me chile...dark academia was made for us!
Saturn rules teeth. Saturn placements and aspects can describe your teeth’s appearance and health. Saturn aspecting Jupiter may have larger teeth. Aspecting Mercury may result in the native having smaller teeth or possibly getting veneers. Saturn aspecting Venus can manifest as the native receiving many compliments on their teeth/smiles. In the case of harsher aspects, the native can feel their teeth directly hinder their perceived beauty.
I’ve noticed people with prominent Gemini/Virgo/Mercury placements are much more likely to have gaps in between their front teeth. Often times, this is a result of their teeth being on the smaller side.
Virgo placements (esp. moons) can have naturally “perfect” teeth that don’t require braces. But upon closer inspection, you can see their teeth are not perfect, but rather, the imperfections are so minuscule you have to truly look to find them.
Libra Suns typically go for either the relaxed look (very natural appearance, not much makeup) or all the frills (makeup, couture, luxury). I have yet to see an in between. Libras with Scorpio/8th house influence enjoy darker colors and go for a much more relaxed look. More likely to portray a dark feminine embodiment of Venus or a more natural feminine. Especially if they have Virgo placements.
Aries suns (males and females) are the BIGGEST sweethearts and I don’t see enough people praise them for their pure hearts. 🥹
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#astrology#astroblr#astro observations#astro notes#astro#aries#taurus#gemini#cancer#Leo#virgo#libra#scorpio#sagittarius#capricorn#Aquarius#pisces
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